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Brett Vesely
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?
Byron
Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.
Brett Vesely
Okay, but what if he lives out of state?
Byron
Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple.
Brett Vesely
There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.
John Holmberg
It's John Holberg here for my friends@turfmonstersaz.com oh my goodness. My backyard is perfect now that I've turfed it. No mud, no maintenance, no sprinkler repair. No sprinklers. I have a lower water bill and I have a yard that looks perfect all year long. But that's not all. I've got a putting green, I've got a basketball play court. I've got an unbelievable situation and I owe it all to turf monsters. If you can dream up a backyard that you've always wanted, Turf Monsters is the place to call. Turfmonstersaz.com Sickness, the old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. The 8 o' clock word is coming up a little bit too as we're cruising through this beautiful Monday. Man, I was up in Sedona with a couple buddies just whipping around the jeeps. They got new jeeps and they wanted to play with them. I've never seen like it was, it was a. The sky was so weirdly blue, it made you want to write poems. Like you're just staring up at this thing. Like, this is the strangest, perfect, cloudless sky I have ever seen. And of course, and I have some pictures of it. We got up to a place, Broken Arrow Trail, and I took the guys up and I gotta come over here and look. We go and stand at this lookout point and what's down below us, what I like to call the. Of course it is John Holmberg special. There are eight ladies laying down on mats, like asleep and some kind of attractive lady sorta. And you know, in her Spandex, just walking over them with like rain sticks and stuff, saying it's all. And we all just said, which one's the one getting divorced that's trying to get her groove back and made her seven friends come up here. It was hilarious.
Brady
It's a sound class, probably sound.
John Holmberg
I don't know. Well, they weren't playing bowls. They weren't making noise. But a lady, a lady had a thing. And then she. All the other girls were just laying there and I'm like, oh, what a ripoff. Like, you paid for this. Like, she got you up here and then you guys just took a nap like kindergartners. And you got to give this. This gets 100 bucks from each of you. At the end, we're gonna go up, lay out mats, and go to sleep for 30. That's what kindergartners do. Get your sleep mat, your nap mattress.
Brady
Professional meditation, bro.
John Holmberg
Oh, it isn't though, because you could if you know that, like, you tell a friend, like, the girl that's hosting this isn't doing anything special. She just happens to have the four wheel drive to get us up. We go to Barlow's and rent a Jeep. We can go sleep in the woods without her for free. Or. I mean, why go so far? Everything in Sedona is beautiful. Put a knapsack in your pack and walk it out free. It's as free as it gets it. The cost of a knapsack and some time.
Anthony
I got my nap blanket. I'm going to lay out here.
John Holmberg
Although it was gorgeous. And so I laid down too.
Brady
And it's different on a yoga roll.
John Holmberg
No, it isn't. It's the same. I was on a rock and they. It's flat. It was nice. And. And you know, Anthony and Brink were with me and they just start laughing. I think we're good here. And they just. Naughty. They didn't like that there were people.
Anthony
We're the only ones allowed to lay down up here. We're connecting.
John Holmberg
Me too, but I'm doing it for free. That's why you're pissed. I just showed up here and laid down.
Brady
I got full signal.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I barred B getting 5G up. This is easy. I could have googled this and said, if I hire someone in Sedona to take me in the woods, what are they? Oh, naps. I'm great at that. I don't need someone to coach me through a nap. I can knock out in a nap. But yeah, divorced lady and her friends.
Anthony
You don't have to even think about them anymore.
John Holmberg
Melissa. It's gonna be awesome.
Anthony
I bet they get back together.
John Holmberg
And before that nap was over, they had broken into two clicks. I guarantee you there were four going this way and three going this way.
Anthony
She wants to go to Mariposa because she's got all the money in the thinks it's going to be easy for all of us. I don't want to spend $200 on steak I didn't ask for. We should go somewhere else.
John Holmberg
I guarantee you that Pinot noir adventure got really weird about 6 o' clock that night when they woke up from their day naps in the rock. The only way to get off over your divorce if you're a woman is to go pretend you're homeless for like two and a half hours and pay somebody for it.
Anthony
Now we're gonna sleep on rocks because they're special. They're attached to the vortex.
Brady
Do that in the morning, a little wine taste in the afternoon.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Then they get in the thing. Then they get lit up and start hating each other by sunset.
Anthony
Not getting in that jeep anymore. It's too bouncy. My back hurts and I got sciatica.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's fun to watch. We saw several of those. It was just. It was a weekend for bachelorette parties to go be annoying in pink jeeps and scream at everybody that drives by them or just yoga naps. I love Sedona for reasons no one else does. I'm not connected to the planet. I like to tear up the environment with my car and I like to stare at people who are making massive life errors with their money.
Anthony
We paid $700 for the excursion to go sleep on a rock.
John Holmberg
Why would you do that?
Anthony
We thought there'd be more. It was just that.
John Holmberg
I love it. This guy says, what did you do to get your dog to stop eating everything? I have a one year old golden retriever who has pika. Passing of kids underwear and socks and clothes. Help me sign the Maryvale poor. Yeah, I don't know. And I just learned what pika is from your email. Yeah, I didn't know that. I know what that was, but that's when you eat stuff that isn't food. It's called pica. It's a disorder. I had no idea.
Brady
Yeah, I've never heard of that.
John Holmberg
Eating disorder characterized by compulsively eating non food items that have no nutritional value. I'm Brady's proud of that one. It comes from the last Latin word magpie, a bird known for eating unusual objects. And that was Brady's nickname in elementary school. Magpie.
Brady
Shiny objects.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Pika. And then this guy says, you talked about hot air balloons. Said the lunches that they make you for romance are made by the chase kids. And he goes, it's not romantic. And he said, and ask any pilot, quote, pilot of a hot air balloon, 20% of landings are all hard landings. That's too high for me. 2 out of 10. 2 out of 10. Not good.
Brady
Broke your ankle. But here's lunch.
John Holmberg
Yeah, sorry about that. Here's a sandwich. The kids made it. Don't piss him off. They're kind of feral. It's eight o'.
Brady
Clock.
John Holmberg
The word for eight o' clock is concert. C O N C E R t. That's the 8 o' clock code word for the take it in the app promotion that we've got. So go to the app, click on the eight o' clock box, boom, put in concert, and, man, you're on your way to maybe winning a thousand bucks. In the meantime, Brady's here to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our friends over at AllProchade. AllProched.com shading everything. And this weekend was everybody wanted to go outside and then everybody was searching for shade. It was a little warmer than people thought. Saw a lot of people in Halloween masks and doing all sorts of little get togethers that came back swampy and sweaty because they didn't realize it. A lot of businesses you could do better if you've got a shady patio that maybe people would use more on these days that it's 80 and they think it's going to be nice, but it starts to burn you up a little bit. Shade is beautiful and all. Pro shade is the place to get it all. Pro shade.com Brady reported.
Brady
Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. Happy National American Beer day.
John Holmberg
All right, I'm in.
Brady
It convinced me a couple of baseless fun facts. My bad tempera isn't a Japanese invention. It's Portuguese missionaries from Portugal introduced it to Japan in the late 1500s. People there already took to it. Amethyst got its name from the ancient Greek phrase not drunk. Because there is a belief that if he put the stones in your alcohol, it would keep you from getting too drunk. Not sure if it worked or not. Try it this weekend.
John Holmberg
Good advice.
Brady
Yeah. In Sedona. Kidding me.
Kirby
Does it work in Sedona? Wouldn't it cancel it out from the.
Brady
Maybe they've been doing it the whole time there. Yeah. All 16 celebrities Madonna mentions in the song Vogue are now dead.
John Holmberg
Oh, geez.
Brady
Lauren Bacall was the last to pass away in 2014.
John Holmberg
So they've been dead for Marlon Brando.
Brady
Was second to last in 2004.
John Holmberg
Clinic Colbert. And like she mentioned a lot of people from the 20s and 30s. So I'd hope they're dead.
Brady
And a new poll about Americans saying they have had at least one paranormal experience. 60% of Americans say they had at least one or one of 13 paranormal experiences.
John Holmberg
It's a lot.
Brady
35% say they've had a full felt a presence of an unknown energy.
John Holmberg
Idiots. Morning sickness. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill.
Brett Vesely
Comfort food is your next meal.
Ranch House Grill Announcer
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John Holmberg
It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house. Cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing. Morning sickness.
Brady
32% have smelled an unexplained odor.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Only 30%. You have a dog, you have a dog, you ask, what the hell is that thing eating? That's a new one.
Brady
31 have heard an unexplained sound or music.
John Holmberg
So they just assume it's ghosts.
Brady
Yeah. They said men 38% are more likely than women 28% to say there's likely paranormal events they've experienced and have set scientific explanations.
John Holmberg
Huh. Method Jerome. Exactly. Men lie about ghosts to get women.
Brady
To go, well, men are higher. You know, or saying there's science behind this, the reason why you're doing it.
John Holmberg
Sure.
Brady
Around 40% of Americans believe in demons, ghosts, and psychics.
John Holmberg
How many?
Brady
40%.
John Holmberg
Half. That's way too many.
Brady
7% claim they communicate with the dead.
John Holmberg
They're wrong. They do. You know what? I will say this. I'll say this. They do. The dead do not communicate back. I can communicate with the dead. I can go talk, one way. Conversation. I can go down the road here on 48th street and hit that funeral, that cemetery, and just. I'll walk through the bone orchard and talk to the dead all day. They ain't talking back. You might imagine that they're talking back. But that's your brain playing tricks on you because you've got a hole in your heart. See, that's armchair therapy from a man.
Brady
Who knows years of therapy, years of.
John Holmberg
Years of knowing what you should have known. Anyway, I'm a realistic therapist. Oh, yeah. You hear voices in your head because you've got a lot of unchecked boxes with how that person died. You can't let go, so you make it in your head. So they're talking. That's called schizophrenia. You make them talk to you, and then you pretend it really happened. That's scary.
Brady
Among the 16% of Americans who claim they've seen ghosts, more people say they were good ghosts.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Anthony
Great.
John Holmberg
Because none of them ever committed a crime. Say hi to Casper. And again, you should not want to have ghosts see you. If people truly believed in ghosts, they'd stop stuffing their fingers in their asses. And we do. I was at a restaurant for breakfast yesterday. Place called Millie's, I think, up in Sedona. And my friend Anthony sat across the table from me. And we're chatting away. And I said, anthony, I gotta tell you something. I can't really pay attention to your words right now. And he's like, why? And Dr. Brink was next to us as well. And I said, the guy next to you just got his pancakes. And with his right hand grabbed his fork and with his left hand placed it deep in the back of his pants. Come on. And he was working his hand around. And I'm like, I guess. And no one ever taught me this. That pancakes are better while you finger yourself. Because his hand was way down there.
Brett Vesely
I'll try that this weekend.
John Holmberg
Try it, buddy. Try it only with pancakes. Bread. Evidently, it can make some foods taste worse. And his wife's across from him. And never once did she say, hey, we're eating. Get your hand out of your ass crack. We're in public, by the way. But it was almost like second nature, that is. And I got back up on this. I got two other guys that'll tell you. Hey, what'd we see at that breakfast place? Oh, you mean the guy fingering himself while he ate pancakes? Yeah, precisely.
Brady
Putella pancakes. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Oh, okay. What's the matter with you? Weekend with Kirby. I forgot. Kirby so high that her friend and Kirby were driving to school this morning while I was doing the Dude. Kirby, the Dude. Kirby Lebowski. Now, because she's a pothead, right? And her friend's like, was he doing.
Kirby's Friend
That impression that isn't anything like you, man. And Kirby's like, I know, man. I don't know where it comes from either, man.
John Holmberg
So Kirby text Brady. Yeah.
Kirby's Friend
Some sort of weird gag, man.
John Holmberg
So they're Jeff Bridges, the Dude impression. They text Brady, like, what's my impression? Brady says, it's the dude from the Big Lebowski.
Kirby's Friend
Hey, man, my friend says I don't sound anything like that, man, so, you know, have the guy work on it, man.
Brady
She knew? Yeah.
John Holmberg
Well, then why didn't she explain it to him? She didn't know or she wouldn't have text you.
Brady
Well, no, she's laughing because she did tell the guy. I mean, she basically. The guy came over, like.
Kirby's Friend
Don't sound anything like that, man. It's a joke, man.
Brady
Jeez.
Kirby's Friend
Have you ever seen King Kong, man?
Brady
That needs to work on.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Kirby's Friend
He calls himself an impressionist, Man. That's insane. I don't say anything like that. Dude. Dude.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady
Chapman University conducts its annual poll on the real life fears everyday Americans have. And topping the list at 69%. All right, but 69% of the people say they're afraid of or very afraid of, corrupt politicians, corrupt government officials. Yeah. That's weird.
John Holmberg
That's our number one fear.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Means we got the TV on too much.
Brady
Number two, people you love becoming seriously ill. 59%. Number three was economic or financial collapse. And then number four, cyber terrorism. Number five, people you love dying.
John Holmberg
That's fifth, behind government corruption.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Death of a family member, but yeah.
Kirby
Mom, you're.
Brady
You're good.
John Holmberg
I'm really worried about this wife.
Brady
It's Chapman University, so I don't know if they're talking to all college students.
John Holmberg
Well, conducting the poll, sure. I don't know. You're the one doing the report.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Even still, you'd think that death of A family member or loved one would be a little higher on my day to day fears than government corruption.
Brady
Yeah, you think?
John Holmberg
Yeah. I just found out that my wife is dying. Is Mark Kelly still on the up and up? I. I got. I got a lot on my mind.
Brady
Can we hang on with the funeral? I gotta wait to see what. Mark Kelly has a speech.
John Holmberg
I'm watching C Span today. You've lost your whole family. The accident was tragic. I know, I know, I know. Have you seen what's going on there with that White House spokesperson? She's just driving me crazy. She's lying like I got everything.
Brady
We've got a man in Bath, New York. He was arrested after he placed a lit cigar in the drive through money tube at a bank. He did it intentionally. Was. But they don't know if it was out of anger or he's just doing as a prank just be a jerk about. The guy's name is Jacob Frank. He's 33 years old. He was charged with assault in the third degree and reckless endangerment in the second degree. Both are class A misdemeanors. The bank employee inhaled the cigar smoke when it arrived inside the bank and required medical care. Nope, too much smoke inhalation. Wow. The injuries were not life threatening, but.
John Holmberg
Yeah, evidently that would have been. The leads are also dramatic. Seven dead. Yeah, a little bit.
Brady
Evidently. Jacob also was arrested earlier this year for stealing a coffee machine key from a convenience store. In August, Chick Fil? A just installed its first vending machine inside a hospital in Augusta, Georgia. People are excited, but nothing hot comes out of the vending machine. It's very limited. It does. It's not 247 either. Because they restock it every day. Yeah, but they're not open on Sundays. Okay, so there's no restocking on Sundays. You can get wraps, a couple of Chick Fil? A wrap sandwiches, and then two types of Chick Fil? A potato chips.
John Holmberg
Holmberg's morning sickness. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Sometimes Doug Hopkins can be a savior for people in bad situations. Doug's there to help, and the process will go fast. Cash offer for your home as is. No matter the circumstances and a straight offer, the deal's done. Doug doesn't change that offer or cancel because of contingencies or any other reason. And I'll back it up with a $5,000 guarantee. You can start the process online at Doug Hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing along. Call Doug Hopkins 1-800-sale now.
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Brady
Can I make my site softer?
John Holmberg
Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler?
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John Holmberg
Holmberg's Morning Sickness. During that terribly boring story Brady just told about food, I realized that I smell amazing. So I was distracted in the middle. That because yourself I ordered Dr. Squatch soaps. Telling you, man, it's life changing. Birdie likes fries and rap stories that I just didn't understand halfway through because my scent overtook me. I smell absolutely fantastic. I just moved a little and caught a whiff of me. Radio radio. Gentle radio listeners. I bet you wish you had Smell O Radio right now because I'm not being paid for this endorsement whatsoever, but I'd happily Do it. Dr. Squatch. Mmm, that's John.
Brady
Here's an important PSA. Stop cutting the stem off your pumpkin. Keep the stem on because it helps seal the pumpkin and keep it from rotting. Slows down the rotting process because, see, the stem was originally where all the feeding to the pumpkin happened. So there's still nutrients in the stem that keeps the pumpkin from going bad.
Kirby
Okay, so how much of it are we supposed to keep?
Brady
You keep. You just don't touch it.
Kirby
Just don't touch it at all if you can.
Brady
Yeah, because I know sometimes they get pretty long, but they say it's okay to cut the bottom off and the sides.
John Holmberg
Hmm. Okay.
Kirby
Again, I'm going with John. Scintillating report this morning.
John Holmberg
Yeah, very important PSA really picked some gems today. I'm glad I smell good because otherwise I'd be upset.
Brett Vesely
That's the highlight.
John Holmberg
Are you all right, Brad? Is Brett's okay? Brett lay down on a rock here.
Brady
Brett knew that about pumpkins.
John Holmberg
Pumpkins.
Brady
The whole purpose was the one who gave me that story.
John Holmberg
People need to know, why do you fight me on these things? It just doesn't have a lot of pop to it.
Kirby's Friend
Bert.
John Holmberg
Do it. Trust me on this one, man.
Brady
Got a couple of pretty videos. The first one is the eye poke from the UFC fight that happened over the weekend. The guy had to basically stop the fight.
Kirby
Oh, it was a no contest.
Brady
No contest.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
Brady
And people, at first, when you see it. Yeah, it's like, it didn't look that bad.
John Holmberg
All right.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Oh, here's a punch. Oh, it's his eye. His finger.
Brady
Right when I watch the second.
John Holmberg
Oh, no, There it goes in about.
Brady
Fingers in his eye, two knuckles down.
John Holmberg
Oh, my God.
Sleep Number Announcer
You can see.
John Holmberg
Yes. And who does that in slow motion? Stop it.
Brady
No.
John Holmberg
No.
Brady
So I decided the next radio video is a will make up the UFC fight with a quality knockout on an MMA fight.
John Holmberg
Okay, there we go.
Byron
Oh.
John Holmberg
Roundhouse kick from the ground. And he slept his. He slept his sparring partner. You're supposed to just be training boys. That's. That's a little bit of a dick move to come. Might have been a challenge match coming in that hot. Yeah, no, that's in a. An astroturfed facility.
Brady
It's.
John Holmberg
The rule is 80%. Yeah. You're not going full.
Kirby
Look at his legs.
John Holmberg
Yeah, he's asleep. He has no idea who his dad is. Like, that's.
Brady
Boom.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's bad. All right. And the guy feels bad because he realized I just broke all the rules. Don't kick people in the head at a training event.
Brady
Next one's a motocross accident.
John Holmberg
Oh, we're on the bikes. Oh, he's up against the wall. He's off the bike. It's flying around. The other bike hits his bike. He goes in the air. That dude's 20ft up. Wow. Oh, we got sound. Barely. Oh, the first guy, just for no reason, has never ridden a motorcycle in his life. How did he lose control on that turn that badly?
Brady
Took it too wide, I guess.
John Holmberg
Like, he's into the hay bales before the turn.
Brady
It was his first race.
John Holmberg
That's his first time on a bike ever. That dude's. He lost a bet. That's Chauncey Billups. He has to do that every once in a while for the mob. Now we want you to ride a bike there, Chauncey. That other guy's 25ft up. He's out before he hits the ground just from fear. That's a fun one. All right, next. Here's a gross one.
Kirby
Not coming up.
Brady
Oh, it's not. Okay. I saved your breakfast.
John Holmberg
Then what is it?
Brady
Some guy not snot out his nose and he sneezes twice.
John Holmberg
Okay. The snot ones are.
Brady
Eliminate them.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Just. Well, I mean, it's hard to say no, because.
Brady
I mean, it's a good one. One.
John Holmberg
It's a good one. It's not videos. One of the best snot videos you'll ever see.
Brady
I'm going to put it in the top five.
John Holmberg
It's Spielbergian. All right, Brett, what do you got? All right. Guy says, knuckles deep in an eye. Add some pancakes, and that's Sedona breakfast. That's true. The brown eye. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Then after he's like, halfway through his pancakes, he takes his hand out of his ass crack, and it stayed there the whole time he's eating. And Anthony was jealous because his shoulder doesn't work real good. He's like, I can't even get my hands behind my back like that. This dude's doing that. And then he took his hand out and it rested on his lap. And then he just started to rub his crotch. Not like in a sexual way, and just more of like a. Just kind of constant adjustment fashion with his ass crack hand. Oh, and the food was good, but I mean, little twinking in Sedona. But his wife was sitting there just chatting it up.
Brett Vesely
Sister?
John Holmberg
No, she was Mexican. And he was. Maybe it was his maid. I don't know. Something was going on. All right, Brett.
Brett Vesely
All right, we'll start off with a little video here. Some car action.
John Holmberg
We're oncoming traffic. A guy with an orange sweater is standing there.
Brady
He's gonna disappear.
John Holmberg
He is not gonna do. Oh, here's a guy in a blue shirt. Here comes a guy coming over. Oh, stop it, Brett. Stop it. What happens now?
Kirby
Into the passing.
John Holmberg
The car's about to back up. Now, we guessed it because that car came out. I thought the guy in the blue was going to shoot him.
Brady
All right, hit play and put into the truck.
John Holmberg
And there's a truck. Oh, a guy backs up.
Brady
Whammy.
John Holmberg
That dude did not have a backup and feel anything. I'm gone. Didn't have a backup camera because it ran over two dudes.
Byron
And.
John Holmberg
Oh, and now the guy backing up.
Brady
Keeps going, no, no, no, no. You got it.
John Holmberg
Driving over the bodies.
Brady
Oh, he hates the band.
John Holmberg
The one guy was, oh, they're all in the same outfit. And it's. Yeah, they're. They're. This is in Mexico. Yeah, it's a mariachi band. They're all in these blue outfits. And he kills them by running them into a car and then finishes him off with the front tires. And another dude from the mariachi band slowly wanders over to watch his friend, who's in the exact same outfit, get run over.
Brady
They're not really coaching.
John Holmberg
Were those gunshots? Oh, I don't know.
Brady
That did sound like it, but that is crazy.
Brett Vesely
He doesn't like the tuba player in the band.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that was. That was set up. Holy smokes. All right.
Brady
And do they play the next show, Next man up, or you just keep going?
Brett Vesely
There's some more traffic.
John Holmberg
I'm thinking a member of those bands die once a week from cartel activity. Oops. I get the wrong thing turned up. Here we go. Here comes a truck. Oh, it's. Oh, a jack. Nice. On a wet road. And just takes out a whole other car. Wow, look at that.
Brady
Is.
John Holmberg
That just blew the other car to bits. That is crazy. Oh, there's nothing you can do about that. The guy even tries to get out of the way. It's just not enough room.
Brady
That's not. Bodies on the back.
John Holmberg
Oh, I don't know. Yeah, it might be. I don't want to see that. That's. That just plays it. And people are afraid of government corruption. More than that. I was driving to Sedona, and they have the new flex lanes on the i17. Have you seen how those work?
Brady
No.
John Holmberg
They have guillotine bars. I call them that because if you decide to go down the wrong lane when they're not open, the flex lanes go each direction. And they have these giant. They'd cut a whole family's head off. Their head height to all the cars. And if. If you're in the lanes as it's closing, like, hey, set another mile. And then these are closed. They have these giant orange bars that stick out of a. It's what? Get out of the way. It's insane. It would cut off everyone's heads. I think it's designed to do it so you're not. You will never, ever be going the wrong way on Arizona's flex lanes because you'd be a family of headless people.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Have you seen those things? They're horrifying.
Kirby
Flex lanes are awesome.
Brady
But.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, I agree.
John Holmberg
I saw those giant guillotine sticks, and there's like 40 of them. And they get.
Kirby
The top one might take out a semi.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
Brett Vesely
It's high.
John Holmberg
It's way up. It's designed to cut heads off. Like, all of that's Ginsu.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Great.
Kirby
Corvette might go underneath it.
John Holmberg
Maybe. Maybe. But even still, the little flappers in the bottom would tear the car up. All right, just finish off with this one.
Brett Vesely
This one we haven't seen in a while.
John Holmberg
All right. There's a lady sitting on a sex toy. That's a suction cup to a bald man's head. And then she's performing oral on two other gentlemen. She has the hips.
Brett Vesely
Hair's overrated.
John Holmberg
Look what you get.
Brady
Dealer's wheel rolling.
John Holmberg
Yeah, you can't do that with hair. Only us balds can stick giant wieners to our heads and have women perform just the hips of a poorly drone Disney cat Spot.
Brett Vesely
Oh, my God.
John Holmberg
It's just. Oh, no, that's great. Stuck in the middle is a great. All right. Well done, Bert. Concert is the word today. Concert. Put it in the 8 o' clock promo code box on our app, and you might win a thousand American dollars. There you go, everybody. That is the word. And that was your Brady report. It's 98.
Brady
It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this.
Episode: 10-27-25 - BR - MON - Poll On Paranormal Experiences - Poll Finds Biggest Real Life Fear Is Political Corruption - Brady's Boring Vending Machine And Pumpkin Stem Stories
Air Date: October 27, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness takes a humorous look at American polls about paranormal experiences and deepest fears, interwoven with stories from the hosts’ lives—including Sedona adventures, commentary on yoga retreats, and predictably offbeat takes on mundane news such as vending machines and pumpkin preservation. As always, the crew brings their signature irreverence, quick wit, and good-natured ribbing to every topic.
This episode encapsulates Holmberg’s Morning Sickness spirit: a mix of hyper-local Arizona color, the lampooning of modern spiritual/self-help fads, honest skepticism of mass culture (from ghosts to politicians), and uniquely grossed-out, boys’-club moments. The hosts’ banter and unfiltered asides make even the most mundane or bizarre news items worth tuning in for.