Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show

Date: October 27, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Summary by Podcast Summarizer AI

Episode Overview

This Monday’s episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness covers a sprawling, hilarious review of the NFL weekend’s trauma, Arizona’s sports woes, extravagant Halloween football parties, the universal tragedy of bad ‘gala chicken,’ hot air balloons gone wrong, restaurant “romance” crimes, and the dumbest kid in New Zealand. Classic riffs on relationships, sports fandom, and the absurdities of daily life are ever-present.

Key Discussion Points

1. Post-NFL Trauma and Arizona Sports Misfortune

[00:39–09:44]

• John opens with the devastation following a collectively poor NFL weekend for show members and listeners: all their teams lost.
• Each recounts their team’s loss – John’s Steelers, Brett’s Bears, and even the Bengals – highlighting the absurdity of “playing for the dead” (e.g., the Nick Mangold tributes).
• The group notes the weirdness: only one close NFL game; every other was a blowout.

"Sports sucks. We all know that at this point. I can now feel what Bears fans have felt. I knew my team was fraudulent.”
– John Holmberg [00:45]

2. Injuries and “Scatterboo”

[06:10–08:16]

• They dissect the shocking football injury where a player's foot was “facing the wrong way,” noting Philly fans’ notorious lack of compassion (recalling the Michael Irvin incident).
• Medical morbidity and the strange resilience of pro athletes get the usual locker-room banter treatment.

"Philly fans cheered when Michael Irvin possibly was paralyzed…That tells you something."
– John Holmberg [08:13]

3. The Plight of Certain Sports Fandoms

[09:20–14:51]

• Holmberg ridicules the idea of being a Colts or Bengals fan and the lack of social cachet or “coolness” in rooting for these teams.
• They debate which cities truly have fan bases and mock the Colts’ dull branding and Indianapolis as a tourist destination.

“Nobody, and I mean nobody, has ever had a successful tourism business that’s keyed in on getting you to go to Indiana… It’s never happened.”
– John Holmberg [12:01]

4. Halloween Football Parties & Charcuterie Skeletons

[16:35–17:43]

• John relishes the Halloween effort at his Steelers party: a full-sized skeleton charcuterie board, “mummy dogs,” and elaborate décor, lamenting the upcoming return to “just pizza.”

5. Gala Season, Bad Gala Chicken, and Celebrity Fundraising

[17:09–32:52]

• John’s week was filled with fancy galas (Kurt Warner’s Treasure House, pet rescues, theater events). He rants about the universal curse of “gala/wedding chicken” – always dry and inedible.
• The group jokes that bad chicken should entitle donors to partial refunds.
• John highlights the wealthy hosting galas and awkwardly asking the less-rich for donations. Stories from Kurt Warner’s benefit (including catching footballs for donations and notable wardrobe malfunctions) sprinkle in absurdity.

"The event was glorious outside of that. But it's not the event. It's every single time you're at those circular tables and somebody's up there... and then you hear clank, clank, clank, clank of the forks and knives trying to carve through that. You need a chainsaw to get through this thing."
– John Holmberg [21:30]**

"It's tough when three billionaires are like, 'We need your help.'... Are we funding this billionaire’s passion project?"
– John Holmberg [26:45]

6. Hot Air Balloons: Danger, Romance, & Midlife Crises

[41:36–54:04]

• Expanding on seeing balloons everywhere during “hot air balloon season” in Arizona, John and team rag on the utter lack of control pilots have, the prevalence of “hard landings,” and how balloon excursions are mostly for desperate marriages or failed romantic gestures.
• They act out scenes of bickering couples forced into hot air balloon adventures, blending real suspicion with comedic dysfunction.

"Hot air balloons are for proposals... or marriages on the rocks. Like, that's basically all hot air balloons are now."
– John Holmberg [44:15]

7. Romance Crimes: Sexy Break-Ins at a Scottsdale Restaurant

[56:46–61:27]

• The hosts riff on the news that two people broke into “Mon Cherie” (a trendy rose-wall brunch spot), had sex against the famous wall, and stole cash and booze.
• They mock restaurants' “pearl-clutching” reactions and assert that every restaurant in town has likely seen employee or patron sexcapades.

“You build a restaurant out of roses. Chicks are going to want to bang in that... They love the idea of getting smashed in roses.”
– John Holmberg [59:50]

8. The Dumbest Boy Alive: New Zealand’s Magnet-Eating Teen

[68:41–78:45]

• The show’s “dumbest kid in the world” segment spotlights a New Zealand teen who ate 100 high-powered magnets, aiming to become a real-life Magneto.
• Wild speculation about his father’s “medical decisions” and the general rule that “if your kids eat magnets, it’s time to let them go.”

“Why save him if you’re the doctor? Wouldn’t it be great if doctors looked and went, 'I’m going to be doing the world a favor here. I did everything I could. He’s not gonna make it.'”
– John Holmberg [71:07]

9. Dumb Pets and Pika (Non-Food Eating Disorders)

[79:04–93:47]

• Listeners write in about dogs eating rocks (and the resulting massive vet bills).
• John’s own terrier repeatedly ate dangerous objects, prompting a discussion of pika (the compulsion to eat non-food items).

Memorable Quotes & Banter

• “This next one’s for you” (about memorial games):
  “It’s kinda like saying, Brett died, so we’re gonna have Corey Feldman sing at his funeral.”
  – John Holmberg [03:23]

• Gala food:
  “I took a bite and I’m like, ‘This can’t be right. ... Is this paper mache?’”
  – John Holmberg [20:21]

• Relationship Therapy, Holmberg-Style:
  “Any guy that takes you in a hot air balloon doesn’t get a BJ. That’s it. It’s over.”
  – John Holmberg [50:01]

• On Nelly Furtado’s new look:
  “She looks like she ate Kathleen Turner.”
  – John Holmberg [149:01]

Segment Timestamps

• NFL Weekend & Sports Trauma: 00:39–09:44
• Injury Recaps & Philly Fans: 06:10–08:16
• Colts/Bengals Bar Debate & Indiana Hate: 09:20–14:51
• Halloween Party Bragging: 16:35–17:43
• Gala Season, Bad Food & Charity: 17:09–32:52
• Hot Air Balloon Season, Dangers & Marriage: 41:36–54:04
• Restaurant Sex Scandal: 56:46–61:27
• Magnet-Eating Kid: 68:41–78:45
• Pets with Pika: 79:04–93:47

Additional Noteworthy Segments

• Giveaway/PROMO CODE Moments:

  • 6:00 am word: MUSIC [15:42]
  • 7:00 am word: MOOLAH [55:13]
  • 8:00 am word: CONCERT [94:43]
  • 9:00 am word: STASH [117:04]
    Listeners should check the KUPD app for word slot opportunities.

• What Would Brady Do? (Listener Problems Segment):
  [117:04–131:43]

  • Includes dilemmas about helping ex-spouses, cleaning up after buying from “two dudes,” scams on old relatives, and more relationship oddities.

• NBA Hall of Fame Black Tie Story:
  “Are we funding this billionaire’s passion project?” [26:45]

Tone & Style

• Irreverent, very laid-back banter; nothing is sacred.
• Mixes sports talk, local Arizona flavor, and crass, observational humor.
• Frequent, rapid-fire one-liners and wild, sometimes dark analogies.
• Many spur-of-the-moment side stories, acting out skits, and running jokes.

In Summary

This episode is a comedic rollercoaster ride through defeat, local oddities, bad food, ballooning mishaps, and the inexhaustible idiocy of both people and pets. It’s perfect for fans of raw, unsanitized morning radio with deep Arizona roots, who enjoy sports takes as much as they enjoy unfiltered jokes about marriage, old people scams, and restaurant crimes.