10-27-25 - Realizing Our Teams Are Average At Best After Dull Weekend Of Losses And Cam Skattebo's Injury - John Felt Out Of Place Among Elites At Kurt Warner's Charity Event This Weekend

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 10-27-25

Episode Title: Realizing Our Teams Are Average At Best After Dull Weekend Of Losses And Cam Skattebo's Injury – John Felt Out Of Place Among Elites At Kurt Warner's Charity Event
Date: October 27, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

This Monday episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness captures the collective sports malaise among the hosts after a brutal weekend of losses for all their favorite teams. The conversation flows from football frustrations and injuries, to the disappointing realities of charity galas and feeling out of place among wealthy elites. It’s packed with snark, camaraderie, and the familiar self-deprecation that makes the show a staple in Phoenix morning radio.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Weekend of Sports Disappointment

(00:38—12:06)

• The hosts lament a bleak weekend for all their NFL teams—Steelers, Bengals, Bears—with every team facing defeat, “Sports sucks. We all know that at this point.” (John, 00:45)
• John admits, “I knew my team was fraudulent, and it hasn’t really bothered me. But now that they’ve exposed themselves as such... only a few weeks left to go.” (John, 00:57)
• Discussion how nearly all NFL games were decided by more than ten points — “It was blowout weekend, which is weird. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before.” (John, 03:47)
• Humor about how teams rally (or fail to) after a tragedy, citing the Nick Mangold situation and referencing Brian Urlacher’s mom’s passing—“I guess they don’t love Brian that much because they certainly didn’t put much effort out for his mom.” (John, 03:36)

Notable Moment

• The group laughs about friends’ over-the-top fan gear and house football parties, including a joke:
  • “Is that his number on the side of the ski cap, or do they just put your IQ on that?” (John’s friend to Dale, 04:11)

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2. Cam Skattebo’s Gruesome Injury

(06:00–08:12)

• John recounts getting flooded with texts and images of ASU running back Cam Skattebo’s foot injury:
  • “People started to send still pictures of their TVs of his foot facing the wrong way. That was not human.” (John, 05:46)
• Brief discussion about the severity: “Word is that Cam Skattebo has a badly dislocated foot, and it’s not broken… If the bones are broken, it’s going to be a lot worse… 10, 11 months.” (John, 06:00)
• Praise for Skattebo’s toughness and reaction of the fans:
  • “The fans got on their feet.” (Toledo, 07:08)
  • “Philly fans, they boo. They cheered when Michael Irvin possibly was paralyzed on their field… That tells you something, Skattebo’s got a little push to him.” (John, 07:11)

Notable Quote

• “That has got to feel pretty terrible to have your foot facing the wrong way.” (John, 06:10)

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3. The Misery of Being a Colts Fan & Sports Bars Culture

(08:12—15:53)

• Banter about rarely meeting Colts fans and the 'drab' nature of their fan culture:
  • “The problem with the Colts bandwagon is that they’re basically wearing T-shirts with blue ink on them. They’re boring.” (John, 09:28)
• Jokes about other fan bars being vibrant; Colts bars equated to looking at dull photos of Indianapolis.
• Extended riff on how Indiana is the “bastion of sport right now, and good Christ, why would anybody care? When Indiana wins, America loses. I’ve said that since I was born.” (John, 11:04)
• The group throws shade at unremarkable sports cities, touching on food and cultural scenes, e.g., “Kansas City Sushi, which is the worst phrase you could ever hear in your life.” (John, 14:19)

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4. Halloween Football Parties—Raising the Bar

(16:31—17:19)

• John shares how a regular Steelers football gathering was taken to the next level for Halloween, complete with a skeleton charcuterie and 'mummy dogs':
  • “She brought in a full size skeleton for Halloween... made this incredible charcuterie out of the skeleton. It was unreal.” (John, 16:47)

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5. Gala Season: Out of Place Among the Elite

(17:19—36:55)

The Disappointment of Gala Food

(17:19—23:33)

• John reflects on being in the “midst of gala season” and hosting/attending too many high-profile charity events.
• Mockery of convention chicken—the default, always-terrible main dish at weddings and fundraisers:
  • “It’s time we all stopped saying yes to the chicken… It’s just such a stamped… like, this is just what happens. And it’s time we start.” (John, 21:26)
  • “This was without a doubt... I actually asked for my donation back. I’m like, you figure out the food… I think this is paper mache.” (John, 18:44)
• Group discusses alternatives, but ultimately lands on “just skip dinner, and everybody gets a piece of cheesecake and a salad. That’s it.” (John, 23:07)

The Elite Fundraisers & Feeling Like an Outsider

(25:21—36:55)

• John recounts the awkwardness at galas hosted by sports stars and billionaires (noting a lack of Cardinals or teammates at Kurt Warner’s event):
  • “When pro athletes have galas, usually… they’re on their own… everybody in football… super cheap.” (John, 25:21)
• Story highlight: At one NBA Hall of Fame event, billionaires ask for donations to float the museum:
  • “It’s tough when three billionaires are like, we need your help. I’m like, okay, what do you need?” (John, 26:38)
  • “Are we funding this billionaire’s passion project?” (John, 27:03)
• Reflection on “the people that don’t have the money are the most generous.” (Toledo, 28:43)
• Consistent joke about feeling like a “professional jackass” among heart surgeons, inventors, and philanthropists:
  • “What do you do? I make caskets for little people… No, smaller than that. What? Infants. Jesus Christ.” (John, 34:06)

Memorable Gala Moment

• Kurt Warner, for every $1,000 donation, throws a signed football to donors:

  • “You catch a pass from a hall of famer… I don’t know what happened to all the hands of the gentleman… how there was no Marsha Brady broken noses… Even Kurt Warner goes, ‘Man, a lot of dudes just catching the ball with their chest.’” (John, 30:05–30:58)

• Comic moment about a scantily-clad attendee:

  • “The most amazing part of the night was how she kept those cans in that dress… If she sneezes, they’re coming out.” (John, 31:29)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |------------------------------------------------------|-----------------| | Weekend NFL Losses & Sports Malaise | 00:38–06:07 | | Cam Skattebo Foot Injury Reaction | 06:07–08:12 | | Colts Fans, Indiana Rants, & Sports Bar Culture | 08:12–15:53 | | Steeler Party Halloween Upgrades | 16:31–17:19 | | Gala Season and Terrible Banquet Chicken | 17:19–23:33 | | Charity Events: Rich Asking The Rest For Money | 25:21–29:49 | | Kurt Warner Football Toss, Elegant Outfits | 29:49–33:00 | | Feeling Out of Place, Gala Imposter Syndrome | 33:00–36:20 |

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Notable Quotes

• “I knew my team was fraudulent, and it hasn’t really bothered me... only a few weeks left to go.” (John, 00:57)
• “I guess they don’t love Brian that much because they certainly didn't put much effort out for his mom.” (John, 03:36)
• “The problem with the Colts bandwagon is that they’re basically wearing T-shirts with blue ink on them.” (John, 09:28)
• “Kansas City Sushi... that’s like, you know, Harlem hookers. Like what? I’m not taking any of that.” (John, 14:19)
• “This was without a doubt... I actually asked for my donation back. I’m like, you figure out the food… I think this is paper mache.” (John, 18:44)
• “Are we funding this billionaire’s passion project?” (John, 27:03)
• “What do you do? I make caskets for little people… No, smaller than that. What? Infants. Jesus Christ.” (John, 34:06)

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Tone and Style

The episode is classic Holberg’s Morning Sickness: sardonically funny, irreverent, candid, and peppered with self-aware banter. The hosts candidly share their disappointments and riff on the mediocrity of sports fandom, charity events, and buffet chicken, maintaining a distinctly sardonic and slightly mischievous Arizona-local tone.

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For listeners who missed this episode:
Expect an engaged crew swapping stories of disappointment, both on the field and in life's social circles, brimming with dark humor, football banter, and the sense that sometimes, it’s okay to just admit your team (and your event chicken) is, at best, “average.”

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it. It's really that simple.

[A]

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[C]

It's John Holmberg here for my [e-mail] oh, my goodness. My backyard is perfect now that I've turfed it. No mud, no maintenance, no sprinkler repair. No sprinklers. I have a lower water bill, and I have a yard that looks perfect all year long. But that's not all. I've got a putting green. I've got a basketball play court. I've got an unbelievable situation, and I owe it all to turf monsters. If you can dream up a backyard that you've always wanted, turf monsters is the place to call. Turfmonstersaz.com the old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday. It is 5:45. Yes, it's the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's big Dick Toledo. And off for our post NFL mush weekend, all of us just hammered over the way every team lost. Sports sucks. We all know that at this point. And the good news is, Brett, I can now feel what the Bears fans have felt. I knew my team was fraudulent, and it hasn't really bothered me. But now that they've exposed themselves as such, only a few weeks left to go. You know, halfway through the season, I don't have to emotionally care that much. Well, it's good because I knew that going in with my Steelers with Aaron Rodgers at quarterback, that I'm like, this is just a patchwork thing. We'll see. And then after the game, the bad news is that they started to say, steelers making offers to Aaron Rodgers. To come back for next year. Like, what is going on? They got to draft a quarterback. We'll see. Maybe they can just tank the whole season and do it. It wasn't his fault. He's not. It's the defense that's horrible. Of course, the Bengals managed to lose in ways that nobody can even imagine to a team that I thought was. I always get worried when a team has some tragedy happen. Their former player Nick Mangold died, and then they said, we're gonna. And the worst thing in the world is to die and have an 06 team say, this next one's for you. It's like, oh, the tribute is not going to be pretty. It's kind of like saying, Brett died, so we're gonna have Corey Feldman sing at his funeral. It's like, oh, this is gonna make things worse. And then Brett's Bears managed to F up against the Ravens, and that was weird. Lamar Less. And they found out like the day before they had that they just exhaled and didn't try. Steelers lose to the Packers. Here's a weird thing. And I'm not. I'm. I'm trying to find, like, the last time this happened. Only one game so far in this week's NFL games. We still have one left tonight. Only one game was not 10 points or more for the winners. Like they. The. The difference in score was not 10 or more points and only 10 was won. The Steelers and Packers, double digit losses for everyone except your Bengals, who lost by one to the jets, who made miracles out of the Nick Mangold thing. I remember the Bears had Brian Erlacher. His mom passed away. And like this one for Brian, we love him. It's mine. And they went out and just got slaughtered like 38 to 6 against the saints. And I'm like, I guess they don't love Brian that much because they certainly didn't put much effort out for his mom.

[A]

They did win with buckets.

[D]

When.

[C]

Buckets. That's right. When. Buckets. Yeah, that's right. They've had plenty of opportunities. Oh, yeah. But the. Yeah. So yesterday when they came back and won for Nick Mangold, that was kind of neat. But that was the only game with a single dish. Single digit difference. Wow. And 10 was one game, 11 was the other. All the rest were like 17 or more. It was blowout weekend, which is weird. I don't think I've ever seen that before. It was really strange. But football, it's around. I have to give props to a friend of mine, Jeremy Marks, who brought his Viking wife over last night and watched the Steelers and Packers and Big Packer fan. And they behaved. Oh, they're completely behaved. Everyone was well behaved. It was a good group. But hell straight came by and everybody booed and booed. It was great. But, yeah, Dale came over in his stupid Raven ski cap, and it's got. It's got his number 70 on the side. And he looks. Dale looks flat out hard, hard when he's got that ski cap on. Like, he looks like the biggest RIRI I' ever seen in my life. It's very funny. And then my friend John Sharpnick says, is that his number on the side of the ski cap, or do they just put your IQ on that? And I. And everybody's like. And Dale goes, you're not smart enough to come up with that on your own. Who helped you? And it was just full battle. Dale's a good sport. That was fun. Very fun. Scat. And then there's that cam. Scatter. Boo. Which was. And I'm. I was coming back from Sedona. I was up there on Saturday and Sunday morning with a couple buddies, jeeping. And my phone started just going, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. And it's like, scatter. Boo. Oh, my God. And I'm like, oh, no. What happened? And then people started to send still pictures of their TVs of his foot facing the wrong way. That was not. That was not human. What happened to his foot? And then right there on the field, they kind of put it back and put it in that boot. They don't show that part, but he's in that boot and it's facing the right way, which had to be excruciating just seconds later for some trainer to go. I was going to put her back where she kind of is supposed to be. Word is that Camp Scatterboo has a badly dislocated foot, and it's not broken. If the. If the bones are broken, it's going to be a lot worse than. It's 10, 11 months. But.

[D]

And ligaments.

[C]

No, the ligaments healing and all that, but that can just stretch and pop and whatever that has got to. That has got to feel pretty terrible to have your foot facing the wrong way. And the way he bent.

[D]

Oh, he just tapped the top of his head.

[C]

It was like, oh, yeah.

[D]

That dude was tough. He's.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

As far as the reaction, because you'd be.

[C]

I think those things happen so fast. I don't think, you know, until you know that. It's like, oh, is my foot on Wrong. It's like that video that go. The. The meme that. Or it's not a meme, but it's a video of a guy riding a motorcycle. And suddenly he just goes, oh, my foot's gone. My foot's gone.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And he just looks down and there's like a tree thing that's just jammed through his ankle. I don't know that you would feel it. It would happen so fast. Turn around, and then a few minutes later, you're like, up. There it is. That's the thing that hurts.

[A]

He had to be in the running for rookie of the Year, too.

[C]

Oh, yeah, he was. Seven touchdowns. Already had one again yesterday. And yeah, he's. And he's a hero. The kids played seven games. And when they carted him off, the whole place erupted. It wasn't. It was in Philadelphia.

[D]

Philadelphia. And the fans got on their feet.

[C]

Philly fans, they boo.

[A]

They.

[C]

They cheered when Michael Irvin possibly was paralyzed on their field. It was one of the last plays Michael Irvin ever played. It might have been the last play, but he jammed his neck and dropped to the turf in Philadelphia. And the Philly fans cheered wildly that Michael Irvin was being carted off in a neck brace and a helmet. Like they're. Like, he might be paralyzed. And they were. That tells you something. Scatter. Boo's got a little push to him. That was pretty awesome. So, again, I'm hoping for the best. But his running style, his style of just constant contact and everything else for his body, there's not exactly conducive for a long career, but he is fun to watch. That was tough. That was a tough one. So, yeah, he's having his surgery and that's just awful. Just the poor kid. And you know, ASU lost, the Suns are terrible. Like, what is going on in this world that we just can't have nice things? Nobody can have anything nice. And I don't know any Colts fans. They're the only ones that can have any joy in this world right now. Guess the packers are. Their record's pretty good. And.

[A]

Yeah, I have to listen at my house every week.

[C]

No, that's right. She's got happiness about. But it's still sort of a weird. Like they don't play full games. They play two quarters a game. And it's been just enough. The Colts are just dominating everyone. The Colts. Did you hear me? The Colts and Daniel Jones. Anyway, football's around. It's quite a thing.

[A]

Yeah, I can't think of one Colts fan.

[C]

Cause there aren't any. If there's a Colts fan out there, he's. He's alone. Like, nobody ever says, oh, I'd go there on a Sunday, but it's a Colts bar. That's not a thing. Anywhere in the nation. There's no Colts bars. There's no. If there's a Bengals bar, it's probably a joke. There's no Bengals bars anywhere. I mean, that's silly. There's Bengals fans here and there more than there are Colts fans. Yeah, I know a couple guys from Indiana who are Colts fans, but they've been quiet for a while now.

[D]

They'll be coming out of the woodwork.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. There'll be a bunch of them. You know what's bad about that, though? One at the. Yeah, but I don't know.

[A]

Maybe some Indiana Jones jersey.

[C]

The problem with the Colts bandwagon is that they're basically wearing T shirts with blue ink on them. They're boring. Like, the.

[A]

Even.

[C]

Even when the Colts are good, their uniforms kind of stink.

[D]

It's the last of the originals, in a way.

[C]

Changed. No, they haven't. And what they've changed has been, like, so minor. They're a drag.

[D]

You can't.

[C]

Like.

[D]

I mean, it would have to be like, the Browns and Colts and Colts.

[C]

Used to have that weird thing, riding a horse. They had a strange one for a second, but for the most part, it's just been that dumb horseshoe. Yeah. And they're all. They're all still dressed like Johnny Unitis, and they all still bore the tears out of you.

[D]

And.

[C]

Yeah, there's nothing exciting about being a Colts fan. And here's the thing about being a Colts fan. Even if they're good, you got a road trip to Indianapolis to watch your team. No, thanks. It's gross. That's why you don't see any of them. And that's why, you know, look, if you went to a Colts bar, you go to, like, a Steelers bar, and there's pictures of bridges and there's hard hats for steel. You go to a Packers bar, there's the Cheese heads. There's all the pictures of Lambeau Field, Lombardi and all the history. Go to a Colts bar. What. What's on the walls? Pictures of Indianapolis.

[A]

Peyton Manning, I guess.

[C]

I guess a load of Peyton Manning and maybe some old Johnny Unitis, but you got. Yeah, but they even abandoned their original city. I don't know. It's. It. Being a Colts fan would suck because it's. There's, like, the least exciting fans ever. I mean Arizona.

[D]

Indiana's buzzing pretty good between the Colts.

[C]

I'm thrilled to get the Pacers iu. Indiana is the bastion of sport right now and good Christ, why would anybody care when Indiana wins, America loses. I've said that since I was born. Nobody, and I mean nobody, has ever had a success, successful tourism business that's keyed in on getting you to go to Indiana. It's never happened. Like I'm a, I'm a travel agent. And if I could talk you into a week in Indiana, like I'm going somewhere else. Like, you're an idiot. This is the worst state in the, this awful. All right, all right, all right. Let's talk about Ohio and Kentucky. I'm like, ah, you're an idiot. You're going out of business. There's nothing about. You can see all those corn fields. You can see the place where they pretended to bury Joe Pesci and Casino at the end and, well, then there's Notre Dame and anyway, we'll go someplace good. Chicago's close.

[E]

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[A]

Comfort food is your next meal.

[E]

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[C]

It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this, though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house, cash as is. You don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1, 800, now Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Indiana stinks 500 is about the only thing Indy 500 is a thing. Maybe that's what they'd have pictures of. Indy bar. I've been to Vikings bars. I've been to Bears bars. I've been to Steeler bars, Packer bars. Did the Cardinals even have Cardinal Stadium? Sure. Sure. That's great. I have no desire to.

[D]

I went to a Monday Night Football.

[C]

Game years ago in Indy, in the old stadium. In the. In the hanky. In the big dome.

[D]

No, it was the.

[C]

The Hoosier Dome. They. Oh, it went to Lucas Oil. When was that? I think it couldn't have been because if I. You've never been to Indianapolis since I've.

[D]

Known how long, Lucas. So why.

[C]

But it was 15 years ago, so it was before. It was like 25 at least. Yeah, you were in the Hoosier Dome. That thing was a dump because it was in Indianapolis. You can't. You can't get nice things in Indianapolis.

[D]

I just remember they had that train station. Had a lot of bar and restaurants there. Or is either a bus depot.

[C]

They've got food. I mean. Yeah, they've got food.

[D]

It's pretty cool.

[C]

Market Square.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, that's. That's all right. It's typical of all cruddy cities that they have five or six restaurants. Kansas City was that way too. They've got the power and light and they think it's fun. And it's like Guy Fieri's restaurant and a Kansas City Sushi, which is the worst phrase you could ever hear in your life. Yeah, it's pretty. That's like, you know, Harlem hookers. Like what? I'm not taking any of that. HIV positive prostitutes shouldn't be a name or something. But that's basically what Kansas City Sushi means. Yeah, there's. There's Chiefs bars, for God's sakes. Trying to think if anybody would have you. You're the dumbest businessman in the world if you open a cult centric bar. We're focused in on Indianapolis and all the good things. And even still with all the. The teams good.

[D]

And it seems like it's mostly. Well, maybe. I know there's a Packers bar, there's Steelers bar.

[C]

Chiefs, Packers, Steelers. There's a Redskins bar. There's some college bars too. But I mean, there's. I mean there's Eagles bar, there's Bears, there's Eagles, there's. I mean, there are loads of them in our city. Yeah, I don't know that there's a Cardinals bar maybe on the west side somewhere. I don't know that I've ever.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I don't know if one would be like the Central.

[C]

Yeah. The place to go if you definitely.

[D]

Would have one in the East Valley. Because it. You think you can't reach the games.

[C]

You don't know it. There should be a. There should be a great place to watch. I don't know. Title nine. You got me. And then you can focus on the one thing that's been going on. The Phoenix Rising. They clinched a spot in whatever league they're in playoffs. So congratulations to that group of unknown gentlemen.

[D]

Or will be fired up.

[C]

They're crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Walsh will be fired up. That gives him a couple extra things to do on the weekends for radio soccer. Oh. And he's got to do that. So we do have sports still. But that's. That's enough of that. That's just brutal. We got the word to give you at 6 o' clock this morning. I can go in there and remember the app is still active and you go over and get the promo code and knock that thing silly. We'll give you the word out. Shall I give it to you right now? You gotta wait one more minute. Music is today's promo code word for the app. Take it in the app and get that thing together. Music. My friend's wife catered our. Everybody. Every week one of the people that comes to the Steeler games puts together usually just kicks in money and we get pizzas. She brought in a full size skeleton for Halloween and themed out the whole thing and made this incredible charcuterie out of the skeleton, putting, you know, all the salami on the chest.

[A]

The pictures Megan posted, it's unbelievable what.

[C]

They did last night. And now my Steeler parties are ruined because we're going back to pizza next week. We can't do that now. Everybody's got to put in Halloween weekend on Halloween weekend and stuff. And you know, screwing up football. It was unreal. We had mommy dogs and like hot dogs that were wrapped.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Like mummies. And I was delicious. And I'm like, nobody ever puts this kind of effort into things at all. We had skeletons and charcuterie. Board of. It was unreal.

[A]

Guys are being civilized over there.

[C]

What's going on? Look, I was at a gala on Friday. You know what I've discovered, Brett? I'm in the midst of gala season. I'm invited to too many. I got one on Saturday. I really like the one on Saturday. I get to host it. It's the lost or home pet rescue one. I'm going to a theater gala. I'm going to a. You heard me. I went to Kurt Warner's Treasure House gala on Friday. And that was interesting, because a lot of the times you go to these things, it's wedding food. I went to Kurt Warner's thing for Treasure House on Friday night. Very nice. You know, it was a lovely, lovely place. And then the food came. And most of the time, they serve you chicken. Like, that's the safest one to go with. And, you know, everybody's been to a wedding. You've DJed enough of them to know that when people serve the chicken, you're probably not gonna get, like, the best flavor out of that chicken ever. Dry is a word's use.

[D]

Cause it's mass.

[C]

Yeah, it's. It's a lot. But that seems to be an excuse. I think it's done on purpose. I think that the Cooks hate making 450 chickens the exact same way. And after a while, they just start effing with it.

[D]

But it's tough to begin with, because.

[C]

Tough is the word.

[D]

All comes out at the same time. Making 400 different thing.

[C]

It was.

[D]

But then you got to make it.

[C]

And hold it and hang on to it and then just plop it on. But, I mean, McDonald's can do it and grilled the chicken, but you're getting McDonald's.

[D]

You know what you're getting.

[C]

It's juicy. Yeah. But this. I know what I'm getting, too. This was without a doubt. I actually asked for my donation back. I'm like, you figure out the food, the chicken show. I took a bite, and I'm like, this. This can't be right. Is this the food? Or is this a picture or a replica of what you're gonna serve later? Cause I think this is paper mache. I took another bite, and I looked at other people were pushing their plates forward, and I'm like, is it. Is it the worst thing? And people at the table, like, I think mine's made of wood. I'm not sure if it's. It was. I eat anything.

[A]

Should have doordashed.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, I thought about it. Well, we immediately. The whole table was like, where are we gonna go after this? This seems like something.

[D]

And it surprised me because it was at Caesar.

[C]

Oh, my God. Yeah. But it's convention food. No, no. It doesn't matter how nice the place is. They have not mastered the chickens. And I think it's time when weddings and everything else take it off the menu. It's never good. It's never good. I Like the lost their home brunch. Because they usually give you, like, quiche. It's like an egg thing. It's, like, pretty good. I've been to that one. Polenta. Polenta's dip. Get the little rice thing in there. Yeah, Brady. Brady's busy not eating. You can do the menus for these places.

[D]

That's what I'm getting.

[C]

But everybody, it's time someone said something. Everybody goes to these things, and the standard dinner is chicken, and it is always bad. So it's time someone said, all right, this is never good.

[D]

Give you chicken or beef, like at a wedding.

[C]

Mix it up. I don't want any meat. Mix it up. You got to do something like what we just said. Just a plate of eggs would be fine. Just some. Just give me some eggs. Nobody hates eggs. It's like, we'll just eat some scrambled eggs. It can't be worse. It was terrible. And I'm like, that's par for the course. Although I will say that one was the number one bad food. The event was glorious outside of that. But it's not the event's fault. It's every single time you're at those circular tables and somebody's up there going, when I first started to do, blah, blah, blah, my passions, blah, blah, blah. And then you hear clank, clank, clank, clank, clank. Of the forks and the knives trying to carve through that. You need a chainsaw to get through this thing.

[A]

That's when you start taking some money back out of the envelope.

[C]

That's what I meant. That's the way you do it. But that's your gallas. Our envelopes are usually just paddles, but. Yeah. You know, you don't. It's for you and your family. Just give a little envelope over that chicken.

[A]

Here we go.

[C]

You know, I did donate less.

[D]

You should.

[C]

Yeah. I was gonna donate a bigger amount, but I'm like, no, they gotta figure this chicken thing out. It's terrible.

[D]

Spaghetti and meatball.

[C]

Can that be? Yeah, but then sauces. Sauces would be tough. Everybody. You imagine serving him convention spaghetti.

[D]

You can hold that.

[A]

I'd have used that paddle on the side of somebody's head.

[C]

You'd have just heard in the back what happened? Fred, this is not good sauce. This is gravy. It's. But it's. Yeah, it's time we all stopped saying yes to the chicken and acting like that's. It's just part of it. It's just such a stamped. Like, this is just what happens. And it's time we start.

[D]

What are we gonna get to eat after the gallows?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Everybody leaves and eats something else, and you get people to stick around longer if you had good food.

[D]

Yeah, but we're donating to a good cause.

[C]

Yeah, that's the. Yeah, it's the standard. It might as. It's cookie cutter, the whole thing. And weddings are no better. I've never been to a wedding. I've eaten. Like, man, this meal at this wedding is spectacular. You can't do it. And it's always chicken.

[D]

The only good food at a wedding is your food. That's your wedding.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, the food at my wedding was unbelievable.

[C]

Yours wasn't good. Yours was bad, too. I was there. It was horrible. We all just kind of really good because there were, you know, like, a hundred people there, and it's like, they can't do it. It's official. Cooks cannot make delicious chicken for 100 or more people. It can't be done.

[A]

And they come. Those. Those. You could tell it's those frozen chicken breasts with the grill marks pre put in it and everything else.

[C]

Yeah. And then they place it over, like, carrots and some of those weird finger potatoes. Like, it's some sort of Gordon Ramsay.

[A]

Presentation sauce to cover it up, moistened.

[C]

It to make it have some sort of water on it. Y. Absolutely right.

[D]

It's time we understood it now, you know, like, because you're always looking for the more upper. A nice plate of food that's hard to present. The people that were doing it when we had Porkopolis pulled pork ribs.

[C]

Yeah. Make that. But again, but you're like, it's.

[D]

It's less formal.

[C]

Do it for 100 people, and I guarantee it starts drying up. There's just no way they can do it. You can't do it. Just don't. Don't screw around anymore. Get cut to the cheesecake. Just skip dinner, and everybody gets a piece of cheesecake and, like, a salad. That's it. And then bread. That's it. Just treat us like prisoners. Bread. Little dry salad. Cheesecake. Well, we're all getting food later anyway. You know that, and we know. We'll save this charity some money.

[D]

Tamales.

[C]

No, Brady, God damn it. I'm gonna throw this pen through your heart. We're getting into tamale season, too. I started at goddamn Halloween's coming up Friday, and then next thing you know, everybody's gonna hear it from that lady at work. My. My. My Nana makes tamales, and I was gonna take an order. Oh, for Christ's sake, do I have to see? She's very sick and we're trying to. I got a bunch of wash down there, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Have a car wash. Ah, that's good stuff. Anyway. Yeah, I just, you know, I'm glad Kurt Warner raised a lot of money. That Treasure house thing is spectacular. It's a beautiful like concept. The idea is outstanding. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughhopkins.com Sometimes Doug Hopkins can be a savior for people in bad situations. Doug's there to help and the process will go fast. Cash offer for your home as is no matter the circumstances and a straight offer, the deal's done. Doug doesn't change that offer or cancel because of contingencies or any other reason and will back it up with a follow up five thousand dollar guarantee. You can start the process online at doughhopkins.com or grab that phone and sing along.

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[C]

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[C]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I am a little bothered and I wanted to talk to Kurt Warner about. This is why none of the other Cardinals show up. But I have been to several events and when pro athletes have galas and stuff, usually they're on their own. And Kurt was there by himself. I'm like, where are all the teammates? Where all the, where are all the guys? Where's the Cardinals? Like, how come they're not? It's because everybody in football and it's his night to shine super cheap. That's basically. I was at a the NBA hall of Fame one and everybody, every table had a NBA player and Jerry Colangelo's up there, he's in charge of this whole thing. And a couple other billionaires are up there and they're trying to ask us for money. And it's tough when three billionaires are like, we need your help. I'm like, okay, what do you need? It's like it takes like a million and a Half dollars to keep this thing afloat annually. And that's just through donations. And then we'll handle it, like. And then nobody did. And then. And it's for the hall of Fame. You'd think the basketball players that are at the tables would be like, we need to. This is ours. We need to keep this. Not one basketball guy raised his hand. I'm sitting with Kevin Ray and a friend of mine, and I'm like, are we. Are we funding those billionaires? Suddenly I'm, you know, I'm like a Portland resident. I just wanted to lay down and light a fire and start barking at the 1 percenters. It was like, are we funding this billionaire's passion project? It's a million dollars.

[D]

You do it, and you could stroke that check.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. And why are you. And the worst part was, he's like, all right, we've got a trip to Italy. Eight days. We're gonna take the bids. It's an $8,000 trip. Let's start it at 10,000. It's for a good cause, the NBA hall of Fame. And I'm like, hey, Tom Chambers, raise your paddle. I can go to Italy for eight grand. And I'm like, yeah, I know. That's. All of us are thinking that, why would I spend 10, maybe even for free?

[D]

Got a buddy that's got a place.

[C]

Exactly like Tom Chambers. Like, I'm going to. There's cheap Italy trip for eight. I'm gonna spend more on. I go to Italy for 8,000. I'm gonna spend that on the plane tickets.

[A]

Maybe it's those players at the table. They're like, I ain't never gonna make it in.

[C]

Why should I kick it through that, too? The guy that was sitting with me was a laker in the 70s. Yeah. Never heard of him. And all he did was whisper in my ear. He goes, these cheap mother. And he was bitching about it. And I'm like. He goes, they call me out to these events. I'm like, did you get paid for this? And he goes, it's part of the program when you're an NBA alumnus, that it's part of your job. I'm like, oh, that.

[A]

You're not seeing Jordan at a table or anything like that, you know?

[C]

Well, how hard would it be if Michael Jordan stood on a stage and said, I need your help? No, you don't. That's hard. Like, I need you to say, this is my passion. Whatever we raise here tonight, I've put a group together. It's gonna match it. And People would be like, all right, cool, now let's try to drive. Let's. Let's get into his pockets. So they raised 500 grand. He puts in 500 grand, and it's like, we got him. You know, it's a great feeling at the.

[D]

You know, I think at the same time, all these pro athletes have their own foundation.

[C]

All of them do.

[D]

Yeah. They're all hitting us for money really hard for them. You know, like, I kind of. There's where my resources are going to.

[C]

Yeah, I'm all in on helping out charities that are good. Mullen. But it is hard to have.

[D]

You have to pick and choose, though. I mean, because you can't help them all.

[C]

Multi millionaires with multimillionaire and billionaire friends asking Brady for cash. It just. It can look bad.

[D]

And that's where it comes from a lot of times. I mean, the people that don't have the money are the most generous.

[C]

Yeah, that's very true. Kurt Warner's thing was great. The NBA one, I'm telling you, that hall of Fame dinner, that was. That's one that I'm like, if anybody invited me to go back to that and be like, absolutely not. Like, that one felt creepy. It just, you know, it is a mental mindset. It's like if your boss started to ask you for a few bucks at work every couple weeks, you know, he comes in and he rides in in this beautiful new Porsche. He's bragging about it. He's got this great car. And then he comes over to Brady and goes, hey, I'm working on something at my house I'm really excited about. I need your help. For what? Just give me a hundred bucks.

[D]

Why?

[C]

It's a write off.

[D]

Do it yourself.

[C]

But if he said, you give me a hundred bucks and I'll kick in on your thing, or I'm gonna match this. It's just I'm trying to do a fundraiser because I'm not allowed to get. It's. It's weird. But Kurt was great. Kurt kicks in, that's his deal. It's coming out of his pocket a lot. Just get a little help there. That treasure house, if you've ever had a chance to go see it, it's in Glendale. They did an. It's an amazing facility that he said.

[D]

He has a kid there, right?

[C]

Yeah. Curtain is son Zach. But as Brenda and him have put together an absolute. It's a piece of work out there. It's nice. So you don't mind helping those kind of things. And then Kurt Warner at the end puts a glove on and for every thousand dollar donation, he reaches into this bucket and pulls out an autograph Kurt Warner football and chucks it at people. And so the whole dinner. That is kind of neat. You catch, you catch pass from a hall of Famer and you know, put your paddle up, thousand dollar donation and he whips a ball your direction and man, oh man, five balls thrown that, you know, there's a probably 33, I think. And that was after they'd already hit you for, you know, the, the tears they give. You like it for $25,000 donation. We're like, you get this specialty thing and then after that get into the 10, 5, 2, 500,000. Then everybody can give 100 bucks and everybody always gives 100 bucks. So the room just packs up. So for a thousand bucks, he's starting to whip these footballs around. Let me tell you, if you're fans of Kurt Warner's, that means you're probably football fans. I don't know what happened to all the hands of the gentleman that decided to catch a pass from Kurt Warner, but how there was no Marsha Brady broken noses at this marvelous. It was amazing that I figured, I mean, as bad as it was watching men, even Kurt Warner goes, man, a lot of dudes just catching the ball with their chest. Like you'd hear thump and everybody's getting like. And he wasn't throwing it that hard, but the guy's like, hey, I got it. Like. Yeah, but you caught it like a, like a six year old girl. And you know, and then the chicks were like putting the diamond up, looking it in.

[A]

No glasses got smashed on the table.

[C]

There was one, one girl with just clown cans. We were, Mark and I were waiting all night for these things to bubble out. They were so close, but they were so hard. We were Mark and are like, they're coming out like those are so close. And her, her husband was, I don't know, the guy that had the hammer in Texas Chainsaw massacre. He was 180 years old. And, and she's probably, she's in her 30s, but all of her parts are. Six hurricanes were magnificent. His dress was barely covering Ariela. And we're like, if she, if she sneezes, they're coming out and she stands up. Oh, she bid for a ball, puts her arms in the air for a ball. And Kurt, and she was six feet from the stage and Kurt gives her a little tiny, you know, and I don't know how it ended up going over her head. She'd like, just throw it up in the air and it hits the table next to everybody. And then she puts her hands up like, I dropped it. Throw another one. And they did. And she caught the second one. But I don't know. The most amazing part of the night was how she kept those cans in that dress. It's impossible to do what she had going on.

[D]

Good tape.

[C]

I mean, it was NASA glue. I don't know how.

[D]

Gorilla glue.

[C]

You know, sometimes you'll at least see the top of the areola start to kind of creep out, and she has to give a little. They had to be right there. Yeah, it's gorilla glue and something like. It was those things. That dress didn't budge. Magnificent. So that was the fun.

[D]

That was a highlight.

[C]

No. Still trying to get through the chicken. It was still. Even canes couldn't fix how bad that chicken. Yeah, it was that. Other than that, it was a. A good event, but gotta figure something out. I'm in gala season. I gotta go to. You know, it's a bad thing about going to one. Usually then other people will start asking you to go to theirs. And then you start getting into these weird. And I'm not cut out for that kind of stuff. I'm not. That ain't me. Like, I am a fish out of water at those things.

[D]

Black ties, a tough sell.

[C]

Yeah. And they'll ask me. Well, that's the thing. I'm sitting there talking, and one guy's like, I do heart transplants. I'm a heart transplant surgeon. Like, oh, that's great. And then another guy's like, I'm a billionaire. Invented something for planes. That's great. What do you do? I'm a professional jackass. I like. I don't. I'm not telling you guys what I do. I just make it up. I tried my baby casket line that. Nobody laughed. I thought it was like, what do you do? Oh, I make caskets for little people. Little people. Like, one guy actually said midgets. Like, I don't think we say that anymore. But no smaller than that. What? Infants. Jesus Christ.

[D]

That's right.

[A]

Exactly.

[D]

What you do now is added to it. It's like, I'm retired.

[C]

Oh, really?

[A]

What'd you do?

[C]

Well, where you made your money, I made a hole carving out baby caskets. Baby for what? You know, babies. There's loads of them. They don't make it. Not all of them make it. It's called SIDS R Us, and it.

[B]

Is.

[C]

One of the worst places in the world. But somebody's got to do it figured, why not me? So what'd you invent for planes? Good day, sir. And then they just walk away. But everybody is like this magnificent. You know, I'm friends with everyone in the honor health. In fact, they have a statue. Anthony. My friend Anthony said that. He goes, you seen that statue in that building when you go in? And he's talking to some lady who. He's like, she. She did some naturopathic work, and he's in the medical field. And he said, you seen that statue when you go in there? Because she's like, I don't believe you're part of that. And he goes, go in there and look the statue. And he goes, you know the one that's right in the center? Look at the name on the bottom of it. It's me. And they, you know, dedicated to Anthony Puglisi. And I start laughing. I'm like, is that true? And he goes, yeah. I'm like, oh, that's a. That's a strong flex to anyone that's telling you. Uh. And sure enough, that's a thing. And then they turn to me. What do you do for a living? I don't know. If I said prostitute, it would be more impressive than what I do. I'm a jackass. And then all my friends try to back it up. Oh, he's great. He does a radio show. He's still very. He's a very funny, viable human being. Yeah, that's what I provide. Society. You guys are pulling. My buddy Brink's ripping livers out. I went to Sedona with my friend Brink. He had to leave yesterday at 8. We got plastered the night before. Wake up in the morning, I gotta leave. Like, why? I got a couple surgeries. Really? You're kind of hungover because. It's nothing. I've got this down pat. It's like a car mechanic with these things. He's genius. I just start hanging out with you two more often. Three of us going out at least. I got a couple other dudes who are jacked.

[D]

You'll be home early.

[C]

At least I'll get home before the sun sets if I'm with Brady. We gotta go.

[D]

It's almost dark 30.

[C]

But, yeah, it's not. I'm a professional jackass. It happens. The word is music for 6am let's get that in there and start off your week properly. We have our second winner getting drawn today. Thousand bucks on the line for you. You pop the word music in our app. Take it in the app. Find it right there. Click on that at our 98kUpd app and put in the word music for the 6 o' clock promo and you're automatically entered. It's that easy. We'll have a word at seven also. So a few more minutes on that. You guys give us a wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. And we'll scream it together. It's 98 koopidi. It's not weird.

[D]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[C]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.