10-28-25 - BR - TUE - Man's Booty Call Burns Down His House - Night Lights Are Bad For Your Health - The Pope's Astronomer Says Vatican Will Gladly Baptize Alien Life Forms

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode Summary: 10-28-25 – Man’s Booty Call Burns Down His House, Night Lights Kill, and Church v. Aliens

Date: October 28, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo, Larry, Chad, Brandon
Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – 98KUPD, Arizona

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness serves up a fast-paced, irreverent mix of weird news stories, banter, and observational humor about everything from app contest shenanigans and Halloween rankings to a woman torching her hookup’s house and the Vatican’s willingness to baptize extraterrestrials. The hosts freely riff on news-of-the-day topics, generational clashes, and the inanity of corporate radio decisions, all delivered in the show’s signature Arizona morning radio style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Radio Programming Nonsense and App Contests

[02:13–07:05]

• The hosts poke fun at routine radio “Bob” gimmicks, especially the (corporate-mandated) practice of shouting out city names to “engage” listeners.
• John and Larry deride this as “circular logic,” contrasting it with more creative engagement.
• They joke about designing an hour for listeners named Kevin or Jeff—corporate contests intended to boost app numbers.
  • John (03:20): “They hear your ideas, they write them down and they go, now thanks God. And then like a year later, they do it and take credit for it.”

2. Baseless Fun Facts & Generational Spending

[07:17–09:13]

• Trivia includes the Big Mac’s original bombed names (the Aristocrat, Blue Ribbon Burger), and an Olympian pausing a race for ducks.
• The hosts pivot to an earnest but tongue-in-cheek discussion about paycheck spending rates among Americans, with Larry lampooning Gen Z and defending Millennials.
  • Chad (08:43): “The average American spends nearly 48% of their paycheck within the first 48 hours.”
  • Larry (09:13): “Let me tell millennials something... Gen Z is the only one that actually will suck.”

3. Best Cities for Trick or Treating

[10:08–11:43]

• New Jersey cities top this year’s rankings, but the hosts highlight Gilbert, Arizona, for its neighborly one-upmanship—bigger displays yielding bigger treats.
  • Larry (11:11): “For trick or treating is a place where the neighbors fear each other and they jones out...the kids are the winners.”

4. Weird News: Accidental Emergency Slide & A Booty Call Gone Wrong

• Flight Attendant Mishap ([12:47–13:43])
  • A seasoned Delta attendant accidentally deploys an emergency slide at the gate, stranding travelers and costing up to $70,000.
  • Chad: “He told ’em he had 26 years of experience and this has never happened before. Still didn’t make it any better.”
• Booty Call Burns Down a House ([14:29–17:38])
  • A notorious story: after being ghosted by her “side-chick” status, Taja Russell sets fire to Curtis Stokes’s house in New Jersey.
  • Chad (14:20): “She texted, ‘you wasted my money to come here and I want you to die.’”
  • Larry (16:10): “You can’t burn people’s houses down. So it was sex or death. That was the options.”

5. Sleep Nightlights & Heart Attack Risks

[17:43–19:24]

• A UK study claims sleeping with even moderate light (nightlights or TV) increases heart attack risk (20–47% higher).
  • Larry (18:42): “That’s a flawed study...if you’re 80 pounds overweight and your high blood pressure and all that other stuff... you were gonna have a heart attack whether the lights were on or off.”

6. The Vatican Will Baptize Aliens

[19:24–22:48]

• The Pope’s astronomer (Fr. Richard de Souza) says the Vatican is open to baptizing extraterrestrials.
• The hosts hilariously riff on whose religion would win the “alien soul”—Christianity, Islam, Mormonism? With jokes about whose God is more useful, or the aliens bringing their own faith.
  • Larry (20:12): “It’s kind of an arrogant thought that something that comes here needs our help.”
  • John (20:16): “We traveled from our planet to yours. Our God stinks. Do you have a good one?”
  • Larry (22:32): “If they land in Afghanistan, we’re going to lose the planet.”

7. Comedy Wildlife Awards & Technical Difficulties

[23:15–27:07]

• Nikon’s annual Comedy Wildlife Awards finalists spark a tangent about the unfairness of “Best of the Year” lists released before the year’s end.
• The studio TV breaks. After banter and pseudo-engineering (“I’ll give you another mic...can’t work under these conditions!”), they jury-riged a solution to see the videos.

8. The “Gross Videos” Segment

[27:14–29:23]

• A series of graphic videos:
  • Dog bites off a finger.
  • Car runs over pedestrian’s head—survives.
  • A “banister” pulled out of a body’s taint (groans).
  • Larry (29:12): “It’s a banister that...into the taint area of that naked body!”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Radio Gimmicks:
  • “Just boost their numbers. So essentially what you’re doing is telling listeners who are already listening to listen. That’s a BOB idea.” – Larry ([03:56])
• On Generational Strife:
  • “They told my generation we sucked... Millennials are fine, trust me, but Gen Z is going to suck.” – Larry ([09:13])
• On the Booty Call Arson:
  • “So it was sex or death. That was the options.” – Larry ([16:10])
• On Religion & Aliens:
  • “It’s kind of an arrogant thought that something that comes here needs our help.” – Larry ([20:12])
  • “If they show up with Jesus, now you got atheists going, wait a second.” – John ([21:24])
  • “You gotta be smarter than that. How annoying it would be if aliens landed here and the first guy they get is like, let me tell you about Jesus Christ.” – Larry ([30:02])
• On App Contests:
  • “We give you guys money and you think it’s because we’re like—when we are. But really it’s the corporate office saying if we give them money, they’ll...boost our numbers.” – Larry ([05:59])
• Alien Landing Plan:
  • “I bow to my alien overlords and all their beliefs immediately. Land at my house.” – Larry ([33:45])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:13–07:05] – Radio Bob Gimmicks, App Contests, Listener Names
• [07:17–09:13] – Baseless Fun Facts & Wage-Spending Riff
• [10:08–11:43] – Best Cities for Halloween Trick-or-Treat
• [12:47–13:43] – Delta Flight Attendant Crisis (Emergency Slide)
• [14:29–17:38] – Booty Call Arson in New Jersey
• [17:43–19:24] – NightLights and Heart Attack Risks
• [19:24–22:48] – Baptizing Aliens Debate
• [23:15–27:07] – Comedy Wildlife Awards, Studio TV Chaos
• [27:14–29:23] – Gross-Out Video Round
• [29:37–34:55] – Religion, Aliens, Siding with the Overlords (“I bow to my alien overlords...”)

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Tone & Language

The hosts maintain a salty, improvisational, and often irreverent tone, filled with Arizona-centric references, quick-witted banter, and running gags. They blend pop culture, dark humor, and regional in-jokes with a persistent skepticism toward authority, both corporate and religious.

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Conclusion

If you missed the show, this episode delivers:

• Wild news stories (booty calls and arson, flight mishaps)
• Snark and skepticism about corporate radio practices
• An off-kilter group take on Halloween, generational divides, and the alien baptism dilemma
• Outlandish what-if riffs about alien overlords and religion
• The usual blend of gross-out humor and technical chaos

Holmberg’s crew keeps it fast, loud, and absurdly Arizona.

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Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

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[Chad]

Really?

[Byron]

That simple?

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

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[Larry]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Few more minutes, we're gonna give you the code word for 8am cruising right through another day of these code words. If you get on the app right now or tell a friend again. This is great. You guys are blowing up our app. The Bob's are thrilled. Thrilled. And that's good, because that means they only call Larry and praise him and they don't prey on his neurosis. Of those terrible Bob calls that he gets, Bob's are the worst. So immediately tell a friend next to you. Just go. Hey, download that KUPD app. You don't have to participate if you don't want to. We'd like you to tell strangers. Tell your mom and dad. Get it on your kids. Boost our numbers. Help us out. Get the Bobs off our back. Somebody asked me. So, John, when you guys are off the air, sometimes I go and listen to the sports station. Not our sports station. No one listens to that.

[Chad]

Give it a try.

[Larry]

No. Trust me. Let me save your time. I will save your Time. You probably don't even have an AM radio. Don't. Thriller's fun. I mean, you can if you want to, I suppose. It's 1060. Yeah, that's a thing. KDOS. Good luck. Anyway, there's a real sports station in town and they're good. It's that 98. 7. Now you get a couple of clunkers over there, but for the most part the shows are good. But they do a thing, KTR does it too. And the guy goes, can you explain to me why they keep saying hi to cities? Any ever listen to the sports station and they'll say, you know, we're back from break. And they're like, I just want to say hi to Avondale today and welcome to the show Avondale. We love our listeners in Avondale and they do that at KTR too. Hey, Apache Junction, good morning. Well, it's a Bob idea.

[Brett Vesely]

I heard Broom do it.

[Larry]

They have to do it every hour. It's a Bob. It's a Bob thing. And it isn't Romper Room. And I, I've suggested that maybe and our Bob's will do it someday, but immediately told me it was a bad idea because that's what they do. They hear your ideas, they write them down and they go now thanks God.

[John]

This wouldn't work for this. And I don't know where they call the action.

[Larry]

And then like a year later they do it and take credit for it. They're thieves and crooked pieces of garbage. So I said, why don't we just say hey to all the listeners named Kevin, good morning. And then they go to our website and register. Cause 7 o' clock would be the hour for Kevin's, you know, then you pull names like crazy like that. So they're doing that over there and it doesn't sound normal, but it's a Bob idea.

[John]

So like say hi to Mesa. And then Mesa will go to our app or our website and then they'll go, I live in Mesa. And they're already in our database, so we know their address and then they.

[Larry]

Just boost their numbers. So essentially what you're doing is telling listeners who are already listening to listen. That's a BOB idea. Circular logic of the Bob's. So whenever you hear a radio station say hi to a city, just know that the guy doing it hates it.

[Chad]

Thanks for listening.

[Larry]

They don't even say that like they try to. They try, they try to do something. You're supposed to just naturally weave in the city name. And you know, Broomhead does a lot of times.

[Chad]

Like it's. They've reached out to you.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Larry]

They're like, they think it's like. Because the Bob's think.

[John]

You know what people love when concerts when the, when the artist says hello Phoenix, everyone goes yay. We should do that on the radio.

[Larry]

That's a terrible idea.

[John]

Bob's we're doing worked in Cincinnati and it's working in St. Louis and it's working in Fort Lauderdale.

[Larry]

Okay. So everyone's gonn do it. So let's homogenize radio more.

[John]

Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

See, now you're getting it.

[Larry]

Knobs.

[Chad]

Want to thank Chad for listening.

[Larry]

Yeah. Hey, thanks to all the Chads out there. Chad. And it's supposed. And evidently if you're on their website, they all get an email going secret city games happening. How does that help the station? It's a Bob idea. So the guy asking me, I'll explain. I'll get. I'll tear off the COVID of all this radio nonsense the best I can. Bob's our game. Cut and dry. We're trying to boost app numbers and get the Bobs off. Larry's back with a contest that's relatively unimaginative. And what would you call that, Larry? Uncreative, but yet effective. He's not gonna say that words. Well, I guess he's got to deal with the Bob.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying.

[Larry]

I think it's fantastic. Larry loves it. All of this is wonderful, simply wonderful. See, Larry's very excited. And yes, because he has to. The bombs might be listening. I'm excited about all of it. Hey, want to say a special thing? Anytime the corporate can give us money. No, that's fine. I like giving the money away. And that's it.

[Chad]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Larry]

We give you guys money and you think it's because we're like when we are. But really what it is is the corporate office saying if we give them money, they'll. They'll boost our numbers. So it's selfish and it works for. But I'm just telling you what it is. I like it. I'll take it. But right. It's a few thousand dollars out the door. Take it in the app. Well done. See how good Larry is at this.

[Chad]

Solid.

[Larry]

But for a few thousand dollars and five or six winners, we make everyone in the city jump through hoops. Yeah. So the Bobs stay off Larry's back working. It's for you, Larry. It is working. They're crushing it. But tell a friend right now, in fact, five minutes Is another word. All right, you calm down. While we're sitting there waiting for those five minutes to tick on by, let's get the Brady Report. It's brought to you by friends at All Pro shade. AllProChade.com is where you go to get your backyard patio, front yard patio, a couple windows that get too much sunlight. Something at your work. You got anywhere you want shade. These guys can do it. And they do it better than anyone in the business. All pro shade.com go there now. Brady special hello to all the folks out there named Jeff reported.

[Chad]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Jeff. Hello, world.

[Larry]

We're gonna. We should cater every hour to a name and just the whole show is for Jeff. Listen up, Jeff.

[Chad]

Couple of baseless fun facts. The Big Mac was originally called the Aristocrat. That name bombed. So it was switched to the Blue Ribbon burger that also bombed. And they went with the Big Mac.

[Larry]

Big Mac stuck between a blue Ribbon's pretty good aristocrats. A little much.

[Chad]

Bobby Pierce from Australia won gold medal in the men's single skulls rowing at 1928 Summer Olympics, even though he paused during the competition to let a family of ducks swim past him. Ah, that's how fast he was.

[Larry]

Very nice. So fast he was that he could slow down and stop, let the ducks.

[Chad]

Pass and still win the race.

[Larry]

Oh, I see. I thought it would be like that's how fast he was that he could actually he was blazing by, but noticed ducks. Aren't you sitting the other way when you're sculling? How did he see those ducks?

[Chad]

Smelled them?

[Larry]

What? Okay, what year was it?

[Chad]

1928.

[Larry]

Oh, they weren't very fast. This was like a thousand pound boat.

[Chad]

Might have been the standard robo.

[Larry]

Yeah, it's like it might as well have a lady with a parasol on the other side. He's going about five miles an hour and the ducks hadn't. They were never in threat.

[Brett Vesely]

All the Jeffs are thanking us now. We already got three.

[Larry]

Hey, thanks, Jeff. It's the hour of Jeff's.

[John]

I love John's new idea, but I have to tell him it's terrible and then we'll use it some other place.

[Chad]

According to a new report, the average American spends nearly 48% of their paycheck within the first 48 hours.

[Larry]

How much?

[Chad]

48%.

[Larry]

Well, that's bills and stuff, I suppose. Yeah.

[Chad]

And 35% of the paycheck is gone within the first 12 hours.

[Larry]

Wow.

[Chad]

That's especially true among millennials who spend their money faster than any other generation.

[Larry]

Let me tell millennials something, too. They told my generation we sucked and we were never going to have anything. And they've told every generation you all suck. Your parents were better than you. And you have to remember who's telling you that. It's the generation ahead of you. They hate you. You're an awful group. And you are. You're the six, seven people. Well, not millennials, but the next Gen Z is. Gen Z is the only one that actually will suck. Millennials are fine, trust me, but Gen Z is going to suck. Those kids are useless. Like, they've. They've already shown themselves R word at age like 22. They all act like they're 15. They're really backwards. But they've said that we were Generation X. Remember Brett? We were the one that was your parents. The first generation is going to be outperformed by their parents and you guys lazy slackers. And we suck and they don't do anything. And we're in our flannels and. And then we invented the Internet. So screw you. Something will come along.

[Chad]

WalletHub did their annual report of the best cities in America for Halloween. They ranked 100 cities. Use 20 different factors. Looked at cities for trick or trick or treating based upon walkability, population density, crime, how much competition there is, meaning how many people there are younger than 15. And this year Jersey City was number one, followed by New York, which is a Springsteen movie.

[Larry]

Maybe time to go Halloween. And I wonder how many Jersey kids go as Bruce Springsteen. I bet you get 30 a night if you live in Jersey City. Knock, knock. And trick and treat. It's trick or treat. Whatever, man. Two, three, four Kit Kats in my pillowcase. I got a minimum wage job. I'm only six. Oh, God, he's singing.

[Brett Vesely]

One.

[Chad]

Number three, Gilbert, Arizona.

[Larry]

You guys have a good trick or treat situation because it's the best places to go. For trick or treating is a place where the neighbors fear each other and they jones out. That neighbor can't have a better situation than I've got. Is only good for the kids. If this guy puts up an awesome display. The dude a couple houses down has to put up an awesome display. Everybody has their brand new cars parked in the driveway to let all the other neighbors know we just got a new car. And then everybody else is going to get a new car and we give out full size Snickers. The next guys give it.

[Brandon]

That's why they do the trunk or treats. Take over a parking lot. That way nobody has to show out.

[Larry]

Well, and. But Gilbert doesn't want that. So you want to show up. Gilbert's awesome for trick or treating. It's probably. I'd put it, I don't know how you got to be in Jersey for Jersey City. That's a loss right there. I go to Gilbert right off the bat for trick or treating. That is a full out comp. It's an adult competitive market and the kids are the winners. Morning sickness. Morning sickness. 28. Can you.

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[Larry]

Can I make my sight firmer? Can we sleep cooler?

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[Larry]

Holmberg's Morning sickness.

[Chad]

A Delta flight attendant made a pretty big mistake during a flight last Saturday when he accidentally deployed the emergency slide. The plane was still at the gate at the time, thankfully. But you can't just deflate it and repack it. It's a complicated process. The report says it'll cost the airline between 50 and $70,000 to put it back. The flight was supposed to go from Pittsburgh to Salt Lake City. It was canceled. Passengers had to be put on later flights. Some didn't get on until the next day.

[Larry]

Geez.

[Brett Vesely]

Damn.

[Chad]

One passenger said the attendant did apologize to the travelers. He told him he had 26 years of experience and this has never happened before. I just still didn't make it any better for him.

[Larry]

But you were standing up.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Larry]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Okay. You sure? This is just weird now. It's just not normal. That's. Why not. It's out of the norm. You're.

[Brandon]

You're standing and also leaning on your chair.

[Larry]

You seem like something's hurting.

[Chad]

I just did that.

[Larry]

Oh, okay.

[Chad]

I've been adjusting, you know.

[Larry]

All right.

[Chad]

Fidgeting maybe, I guess.

[Larry]

What's wrong?

[Chad]

Nothing.

[Larry]

Why are you standing up?

[Chad]

I just felt like standing.

[Larry]

All right. I just want to say thanks and hello to all the Navin Johnsons out there today. Navin, it's your Navar. The word today for 8 o' clock is vibe. V I B E. Brady is giving off a strange standing vibe. Vibe is the eight o' clock word. You put it in the promo code for eight o'. Clock. And take it in the app. Go ahead, break.

[Chad]

Got a guy in New Jersey invited a woman over for a booty call, but fell asleep before she got there. So she torched his house?

[Larry]

Well, yeah. Whoa.

[Chad]

It happened in 2019. But the case dragged on and she was just in court last Friday. Cops say Taja Russell texted a guy she'd been sleeping with named Curtis Stokes. He described her as side chick. She texted hello and he told her to come over. His exact words was, bring your ass.

[Larry]

Yeah, bring that ass.

[Brett Vesely]

Should we guess what? Never mind.

[Larry]

No, we know what's going on here. What was her name? Tasha and Taja. Taja. Yeah. That is definitely. This is definitely.

[Chad]

It was late.

[Larry]

It's gonna be loud.

[Brandon]

Of course it was late.

[Chad]

She got to his door about 4am he was sleeping, didn't answer the door.

[Larry]

Reasonable.

[Chad]

She text a bunch of angry stuff, including, you wasted my money to come here and I want you to die.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[Chad]

Oh. So she went to the nearby gas station, bought lighter fluid and matches, set his house on fire.

[Larry]

It cost her even more money.

[Chad]

He woke up, place totally engulfed in flames. He forcibly removed the entire window frame to save himself. Ended up with some burns. First and second degree burns on parts of his body. She won't be sentenced till January.

[Larry]

Something's wrong.

[Chad]

Why?

[Larry]

I don't know. You're just not. You're just off. There's something going on over there.

[Chad]

She'll have to serve at least six and a half years before she's eligible for parole.

[Larry]

Sure. You can't burn people's houses down. So it was sex or death. That was those. That was the options.

[Chad]

There's a picture of Taja and he's.

[Larry]

Burned down his pad. He didn't hear her. You know, that's kind of a.

[Chad]

That big of a place.

[Larry]

No, he heard her banging on the door, and she must have taken like two hours to show up. What time did he text her? Did it say.

[Chad]

That's big to this case, like around three.

[Larry]

Oh. So it took her less than an hour. Are you making that up or is that actually in here?

[Chad]

Make it out there for.

[Larry]

Yeah, you're just making up when the text was. Because if he. If he delivered the text at 1 o', clock, three hours later, she shows up. Three hours later. I'm not answering the door either. I'm like. But I don't expect her to burn my home down. I'd be like, no, the window's closed. Yeah. It doesn't say when she initially got the text. Stokes added that she was a Side chick with whom he was having sex. Which means there was a possibility that, you know, he had other schools.

[Chad]

At 5am he made an all call.

[Larry]

Yeah, well, no, that chick A was on her way over in the morning after her all night shift over at the Waffle House or QT or something. Yeah, he's probably been. Yeah, he's got a stripper. And he only had a window of like 2 to 3 to get this one in and out. Not good enough. Mouse dripper. No, that one's not the one that might have been coming at 5. So he couldn't answer the door for this one at four.

[Brett Vesely]

Probably the Boom Boom room before.

[Larry]

That's exactly right.

[Chad]

A new study in the UK found sleeping with a nightlight could kill you. People who don't sleep in total darkness are more prone to heart attacks.

[Larry]

Huh.

[Chad]

It only looked at people over 40. The average age was 62. 90,000 adults wore sensors on their wrists and tracked light levels around them. Studies specifically looked at how dark their bedrooms were when they slept. People who slept in total darkness were the least likely to end up with heart issues. The ones with the brightest bedrooms had a 47% higher heart attack risk.

[Larry]

Weight and health didn't come into play in this at all.

[Chad]

Even people in moderate bright rooms had a 20% higher risk. Moderate could mean night light, even the TV left on.

[Larry]

See, I would. That's a flawed study because you have to know. You have to. You would have to have everybody in the same equal health conditions in order to make this man. Because otherwise, like, you know, if you sleep with a light on, but you have. You're, you know, 80 pounds overweight and your high blood pressure and all that other stuff. Yeah. And you're like, look, this is. You were gonna have a heart attack where the lights were on or off.

[Brett Vesely]

Gotta find a way to the fridge in the middle of the night. You're 85 pounds overweight.

[Larry]

So those are the ones. They've got the lights on. It's not because of that. It's because they gotta wake up and snack. That's probably it. Brett, you're like a. You're like a doctor and a scientist all in one.

[Chad]

Pope Leo's astronomer for the Vatican is Father Richard de Souza. And he says if we ever get contacted or alien life comes to the planet, the little green men and women, he would reach out and he said, I'd absolutely baptize him.

[Larry]

Oh, that's why they're coming, because we know more than them. That's how they got here. I'm sure we wouldn't be asking for what they think at all. Maybe they'd seen some things.

[Chad]

So God's creatures.

[Larry]

Sure. Unless they come in and say, guess what? We are and we've seen it. And they have to upend everything we believe. It's kind of an arrogant thought that thinks that something that comes here needs our help. Yeah, yeah, they've seen some stuff. We traveled all the.

[John]

We traveled from our planet to yours. Our God stinks. Do you have a good one?

[Chad]

No, no, no. Well, it's up to them, too. They have to decide whether they want to be baptized.

[Larry]

How mad would he be? Oh, no, not when you're Mormon. They'll slaughter you into it.

[Brandon]

Baptizing Glark.

[Larry]

What if they land in Afghanistan and the Afghanis. And like, they're like.

[John]

And they're like, this is exactly what we've been looking for.

[Larry]

And now we've got space aliens who believe in Allah. I almost called the moolah Allah, and I got to fight that.

[Brandon]

Or, what if the aliens look like females?

[Larry]

What you do when the aliens land is you take their God because they've got the juice recognized. They showed up with more power.

[Chad]

Jews.

[Larry]

No, no, not the God. Sorry. The juice. You do not start going, you know.

[John]

He said the teachings of Jesus Christ.

[Larry]

Like, did you see the ship they've got. It's probably got some lasers on it. What do they believe in? Hop on board.

[Brett Vesely]

We got Goldblum and a MacBook Pro. We'll be fine.

[Larry]

Don't worry about it. Before the Muslims get on there and start using, because they're smarter about that. They like war a lot. Alokhala. And they're like, yeah, yeah.

[John]

Hey, would you like to fly our ship?

[Larry]

Next thing you know, they're not screaming al akbar anymore. Like, Gorlach the king. Gorlok the king. And they're shooting at us. Don't introduce them to Jesus. If they showed up with Jesus, now you got atheists going, wait a second.

[Chad]

With a similar story.

[Larry]

Oh, if it was the same story.

[Chad]

We had a flood, too.

[Larry]

Yeah. And he travels all over.

[John]

He's like, do you guys have a Noah?

[Larry]

Holy crap. Yes.

[John]

Yeah, that story's real.

[Larry]

Like, whoa, Now I'm in. But what if Brady the alien showed up and had the exact same story as Allah?

[Chad]

It'd be.

[Larry]

Would it change your mind?

[Chad]

It would. You'd have to look at it.

[Larry]

Have to start peeping into that a little bit. Yeah. What if they showed up and like Mormons? Like, no, you guys are wrong, too. That's not real.

[Chad]

Muslims got to them first.

[John]

And then Garlock Smith traveled all the way from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, space. But he got killed halfway through because he's a pain in the ass. But then his friend Brigham.

[Larry]

What if Gorlock shows?

[Chad]

Here are the tablets.

[Larry]

He shows up with his plates.

[John]

We found them. Joseph called me. Is he still here?

[Brandon]

And his magic hat.

[Larry]

Yeah, that's it.

[John]

Here it is. Answers.

[Larry]

I still wouldn't be a Mormon. They showed up with Allah. I might put the beekeeper suit on, but aliens don't need us to baptize them. We need to hear them out. And if they come up with a similar story, so be it. But we don't need to teach them about Jesus. They've got better guns.

[Brandon]

Texter says. Hey guys, now that it's a new hour, can I make a play for sponsoring this hour for Todd's?

[Larry]

I'm a Todd's. Todd's will have their day. Brandon's are coming up next. Everybody evidently is a Romper Room fan. Because my emails are like doing for Brandon. Doing for Larry's.

[Brandon]

Sorry, Todd, you gotta wait.

[Larry]

People get excited when they hear their name.

[Chad]

Camera company Brandon Moe Hour.

[Larry]

By the way, he was the one who Brandon Mo. Brandon's do Shout out for Brandon's. All right, there you go, Brandon.

[Chad]

Nikon announced the finalist of its annual Comedy Wildlife Awards. The funniest animal photos. We've seen them in the past.

[Larry]

Sure.

[Chad]

This is the 202510 finalists.

[Larry]

We've got a couple months to go. Shouldn't this come out in 2020 top 10 finalists.

[Chad]

Okay.

[Larry]

Yeah, the top 10 finalists with two months left. Holg's Morning Sickness. Yeah, you had like 10 hilarious videos that happen at Thanksgiving.

[Brett Vesely]

Icon still around.

[Larry]

They're trying. Yeah, well, evidently they don't have two more months left. They have to release their end of year stuff in October.

[Chad]

Well, we've got Black Friday happening November 14th and through the 16th at Walmart.

[Larry]

Yeah, no, I'm just saying. But it isn't the end of the year. It's like a. Like if you're gonna do a best of 2025, include all 12 months and then release it in 2026.

[Brandon]

Apparently our TV went out.

[Larry]

Did it? Oh, you broke the TV. Cause Brady's standing up. I think that's probably it. Did your back hurt?

[Chad]

The horn on my head.

[Larry]

You're just not feeling sit down vibe today. Stand a little bit and something's going.

[Chad]

On ten minutes into it.

[Larry]

No, no, I just say. Well, because you look the same sitting down you do standing up. Oh, no, I'm just saying, you're standing, so it's weird. I'm like. Maybe I'm concerned about your health and your back or if something hurts.

[Chad]

I just wanted to be on my toes. Okay.

[Larry]

I don't know. This is getting weirder. Just say no. I. I have a little back. Lie to me. Sciatica. One of those things stretching it out.

[Chad]

Scoliosis.

[Larry]

Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

No videos.

[Larry]

No videos today. The TV's broken.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it looks like it.

[Larry]

What, it just shut off on its own? It was fine a second ago. Can we do it on this one?

[Brandon]

No, that was not on there.

[Larry]

That TV doesn't. What about the one behind Brett?

[Brett Vesely]

It's only connected.

[Larry]

Three TVs and none of them work.

[Brandon]

Box is only on that one.

[Larry]

Three TVs in the studio, and they're all one box. Yeah, but still, we can't. That's what I'm saying. These don't work.

[Brandon]

They turn on, but they don't have the magic box.

[Larry]

Yeah, so they don't work. They're pointless.

[Chad]

Right.

[Larry]

I can turn a radio.

[Brett Vesely]

I can have Mike do that.

[Larry]

But Mike, can we.

[Brett Vesely]

Can we text him?

[Larry]

Yeah. Why is our TV broken? It's essential. And how did that happen so quickly? We didn't touch it. Nobody's even been over there.

[Chad]

You just used the Cox.

[Larry]

I know. I was trying to see if the Cox thing had shut off. The TV's off. The. Everything's off. Stupid. Is this even working? Yeah. Lights are on.

[Chad]

Is it?

[Larry]

Yeah. Well, we need the videos.

[Chad]

I know.

[Brett Vesely]

Can you change the source? Is it just on a bed?

[Chad]

I'll sit down maybe.

[Larry]

Yeah, maybe he's standing up. Spray standing us.

[Brett Vesely]

There it goes.

[Larry]

The room's balanced again. Yeah, it turned back on. It was because Brady was standing. That's weird.

[Brett Vesely]

That was the newest TV in here, too.

[Larry]

Well, let's replace that, like, a year or two. I'm about to do some John engineering. All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Sunday, Monday, happy hour. Fast.

[Larry]

Remote might be sailing into that thing. Is it the cord loose? Did you take. You push that in the plug, huh? All right, well, no videos for you.

[Brett Vesely]

What the.

[Larry]

Spin your screen around, Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

It won't spin around that far. Sure it will.

[Larry]

We'll make it work. Or put Toledo's on there. You have your laptop? Yeah.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Larry]

I want to see these videos. Damn it. I've become accustomed to it.

[Brandon]

I have his videos.

[Larry]

You have to get yours spun over.

[Brandon]

That'll spin his laptop. He can spin his laptop.

[Larry]

That'll spin. There it is. There it Is. Oh, I can see that, buddy. I. Hold on. Bringing the glare over. There we go. Now you scoot your ass over. This is ridiculous. I'll give you another mic.

[Brett Vesely]

Can't work under these conditions.

[Larry]

I got it. We have to constantly rig this room. All right, what do you got?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't even know. Let's just try this one.

[Larry]

A dog in a cage. Oh, the guy put his finger in the dog's mouth. Just bit it off. The dog just. Is that a girl?

[Chad]

No mommies.

[Larry]

No mommy. No. No, mommy's way. No, no, no. No mommy, no mommies. She didn't even go to the hospital. Now she's at a sink with her bleeding finger. That's half off.

[Chad]

You get the fingernail or the whole.

[Larry]

It took, like, most of the skin from here down. That was gross. Never reach towards a dog that's losing its mind in a cage. All right, next up, we're at a skate park. What is that? We're just walking down the street. It's an overhead camera from a building looking down at moped. So we know it's a terrible nation. There's a whole row. Moped. Yes. Something just goes up the sidewalk. Oh, it's not done yet. It's hitting the car in front of him. It's just taking. Oh, it's just. And it's land. It's.

[Chad]

It's on top of.

[Larry]

Back tire is on a guy. And now people are getting out of the car. The passengers. Oh, and it just did a spin out on the guy that was under the tire. No, still moving. Well, those are tremors. He's kicking. Yeah, that's body just reacting.

[Chad]

He.

[Larry]

Hold on. Yeah, he's having a big time tua. They're getting him up. This is the worst thing you can do.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't worry about at the back.

[Chad]

He's walking.

[Larry]

What? That car was on his head.

[Chad]

Massive internal.

[Larry]

And did a spin out.

[Chad]

Got a horn on his head.

[Larry]

No, he is definitely not gonna make it. That's not good. All right, next one. It could be AI. I'm not sure. He's got a guy with a. Doing a surgery or something. He's reaching into somebody's butt. Is that what I'm seeing? Oh, my God. There's a hole in a person, and they're pulling out a pipe that went up into the middle of a. What is that?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know if it's like a stairwell, like banister.

[Larry]

It's a banister that. Into the taint area of that naked body. That's not AI that's just a dead body. They pulled that. It's about two and a half feet long.

[Chad]

Wow.

[Larry]

Good God.

[Brett Vesely]

That's all I got today.

[John]

Larry.

[Larry]

Larry. Got to see some videos. TV's broken. Larry. Wow.

[Brett Vesely]

Now we could trade Toledo's tickets for a new TV guy.

[Larry]

Just said John. I hadn't thought of alien religion. We do need to absolutely do whatever they say. Yeah, you're an idiot to sit and try to say your religion's better than theirs. You don't have to believe it. Just side with them so the Muslims don't. Dummies. There'll be people who use their powers against us. You gotta be smarter than that. How annoying it would be if aliens landed here and the first guy they.

[John]

Gets like, let me tell you about Jesus Christ.

[Larry]

Oh no. I landed next to a lame O.

[Brett Vesely]

See Vincent Thorne's comment on the. The chick with the fire?

[Larry]

I said, Taja said, how much Hennessy or malt liquor do you need to drink to not hear a crazy beating down your horse or your door and smell smoke from the inferno? Yeah, that's true. Hennessy will crush the smell of. It's almost a C patch for smoke. Oh, he's probably drunk. But it's four in the morning. Yeah, most of us are. But he heard her knocking. I get nervous about that stuff with people with aliens. I was talking about that with my buddy Brink, who was all on.

[Chad]

But if he heard her knocking. Yeah, you would know the fire is gone right away. That someone's.

[Larry]

Huh.

[Chad]

That she lit the fire.

[Larry]

Basically, he assumed that she was probably the one who did it. I mean, at first he's waking up to fire, but my buddy Brink is a big one for alien landers and stuff. Like, he likes that idea. I'm looking forward to it too. Oh, he's into it.

[Brandon]

Wants it to happen.

[Larry]

He's following stuff. Like, he's like. He's got names of things he's. He's kind of nerded out on the whole.

[Brandon]

Like on his laptop. He follows it.

[Larry]

I don't know where he does it, but it's like just in the news. He's keeping an eye on that one that keeps blipping out radio signals and changing lights and directions so they're like, I don't think this thing's an asteroid. He thinks that's coming here. And I think that's awesome if it does too. But we were talking about that this weekend. It's like, yeah, you immediately bow to if they land in your yard, you don't start. What Kind of know. It all starts spewing out. Well, here's how I'd have done it. Like, that's like the scene in. Was it Mr. Mom or whatever, when he's coming over to help out. So what are you in there, 222. 20.

[Chad]

Yeah. 22, 21.

[Larry]

I don't know what's going. Men watch each other doing work. Always remember, if it lands in Afghanistan, we're going to lose the planet. If it lands here, we'll just take out the Middle east bag of Reese's Pieces. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. They might be friendly, but whatever they believe in, we will believe in also because we want their technology.

[Chad]

If they. If they lead. I mean, for me, like, if they lead with it, you will believe in this. Else, we will kill you, then bound down. But, you know, if they're saying, you.

[Larry]

Mean like, we believe the Spaniards. Spaniards did the Indians, and they came down and said, believe this or else.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Larry]

And they slaughtered them. And guess what? Everybody started believing. Yeah.

[Chad]

But if they ask you, you know, you have an open conversation.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[Chad]

I really like talking to you.

[Larry]

What do you guys believe in? And then they believe in something, and I'm like, and also, you still have that big ship that got here from some other planet. So technologically, we want you on our side.

[Chad]

We've gone to the moon.

[Larry]

You don't piss him off with Jesus. Yeah, see that? We've been there a couple of times.

[John]

That's what you think that was animation.

[Larry]

So are we gonna.

[Chad]

What?

[Larry]

How am I getting in this ship of yours?

[John]

Oh, you want to be probed?

[Larry]

Yeah, I do. Yeah. I don't get that people want to tell them about Jesus. Shh. Let them do the talking first. Let's find out what they've got. Let's get their info before the freaks. Do you know what kind of power grab it's going to be if aliens land here? We act like it all be, yay, we have new alien friends, or it's a war. It's a power grab. The first person that sides with them gets all their technology.

[Chad]

We were friends first. Yeah.

[Larry]

We'll make tons of money. Ridiculous. And everybody's going to know that and then start bowing to us. It's Trump's dream. I really hope aliens land in Washington, D.C. for the 250th anniversary. A big fight. UFC fight. The grand ballroom, welcoming the alien overlords. I'm in on that. Come land with me. Come land with me. Let's land. We'll land away. I hate that I hate the idea that they could come here and we would piss them off with Jesus. And then they go over and start talking to the Allah people like, those Jesus people suck. And the Allah people like we've been saying that for thousands of years. And then they get. They team up and laser up. The reason we can handle. We can barely beat them now with their borrowed guns. Now they got alien ships. You guys are morons. I hope this transmission gets out into space immediately. I bow to my alien overlords and all of their beliefs. Immediately. Land at my house right here at 1100 North 52nd Street. Just right here. We'll save a space for you. The word is vibe. Right now. 8:00am Code word is vibe. Knock that thing down, maybe you'll win yourself a thousand bucks. There goes your Brady report. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[Chad]

No membership fees.

[Larry]

I have heard enough of this.