Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode Summary: 10-28-25 – Man’s Booty Call Burns Down His House, Night Lights Kill, and Church v. Aliens

Date: October 28, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo, Larry, Chad, Brandon
Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – 98KUPD, Arizona

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness serves up a fast-paced, irreverent mix of weird news stories, banter, and observational humor about everything from app contest shenanigans and Halloween rankings to a woman torching her hookup’s house and the Vatican’s willingness to baptize extraterrestrials. The hosts freely riff on news-of-the-day topics, generational clashes, and the inanity of corporate radio decisions, all delivered in the show’s signature Arizona morning radio style.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Radio Programming Nonsense and App Contests

[02:13–07:05]

• The hosts poke fun at routine radio “Bob” gimmicks, especially the (corporate-mandated) practice of shouting out city names to “engage” listeners.
• John and Larry deride this as “circular logic,” contrasting it with more creative engagement.
• They joke about designing an hour for listeners named Kevin or Jeff—corporate contests intended to boost app numbers.
  • John (03:20): “They hear your ideas, they write them down and they go, now thanks God. And then like a year later, they do it and take credit for it.”

2. Baseless Fun Facts & Generational Spending

[07:17–09:13]

• Trivia includes the Big Mac’s original bombed names (the Aristocrat, Blue Ribbon Burger), and an Olympian pausing a race for ducks.
• The hosts pivot to an earnest but tongue-in-cheek discussion about paycheck spending rates among Americans, with Larry lampooning Gen Z and defending Millennials.
  • Chad (08:43): “The average American spends nearly 48% of their paycheck within the first 48 hours.”
  • Larry (09:13): “Let me tell millennials something... Gen Z is the only one that actually will suck.”

3. Best Cities for Trick or Treating

[10:08–11:43]

• New Jersey cities top this year’s rankings, but the hosts highlight Gilbert, Arizona, for its neighborly one-upmanship—bigger displays yielding bigger treats.
  • Larry (11:11): “For trick or treating is a place where the neighbors fear each other and they jones out...the kids are the winners.”

4. Weird News: Accidental Emergency Slide & A Booty Call Gone Wrong

• Flight Attendant Mishap ([12:47–13:43])
  • A seasoned Delta attendant accidentally deploys an emergency slide at the gate, stranding travelers and costing up to $70,000.
  • Chad: “He told ’em he had 26 years of experience and this has never happened before. Still didn’t make it any better.”
• Booty Call Burns Down a House ([14:29–17:38])
  • A notorious story: after being ghosted by her “side-chick” status, Taja Russell sets fire to Curtis Stokes’s house in New Jersey.
  • Chad (14:20): “She texted, ‘you wasted my money to come here and I want you to die.’”
  • Larry (16:10): “You can’t burn people’s houses down. So it was sex or death. That was the options.”

5. Sleep Nightlights & Heart Attack Risks

[17:43–19:24]

• A UK study claims sleeping with even moderate light (nightlights or TV) increases heart attack risk (20–47% higher).
  • Larry (18:42): “That’s a flawed study...if you’re 80 pounds overweight and your high blood pressure and all that other stuff... you were gonna have a heart attack whether the lights were on or off.”

6. The Vatican Will Baptize Aliens

[19:24–22:48]

• The Pope’s astronomer (Fr. Richard de Souza) says the Vatican is open to baptizing extraterrestrials.
• The hosts hilariously riff on whose religion would win the “alien soul”—Christianity, Islam, Mormonism? With jokes about whose God is more useful, or the aliens bringing their own faith.
  • Larry (20:12): “It’s kind of an arrogant thought that something that comes here needs our help.”
  • John (20:16): “We traveled from our planet to yours. Our God stinks. Do you have a good one?”
  • Larry (22:32): “If they land in Afghanistan, we’re going to lose the planet.”

7. Comedy Wildlife Awards & Technical Difficulties

[23:15–27:07]

• Nikon’s annual Comedy Wildlife Awards finalists spark a tangent about the unfairness of “Best of the Year” lists released before the year’s end.
• The studio TV breaks. After banter and pseudo-engineering (“I’ll give you another mic...can’t work under these conditions!”), they jury-riged a solution to see the videos.

8. The “Gross Videos” Segment

[27:14–29:23]

• A series of graphic videos:
  • Dog bites off a finger.
  • Car runs over pedestrian’s head—survives.
  • A “banister” pulled out of a body’s taint (groans).
  • Larry (29:12): “It’s a banister that...into the taint area of that naked body!”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Radio Gimmicks:
  • “Just boost their numbers. So essentially what you’re doing is telling listeners who are already listening to listen. That’s a BOB idea.” – Larry ([03:56])
• On Generational Strife:
  • “They told my generation we sucked... Millennials are fine, trust me, but Gen Z is going to suck.” – Larry ([09:13])
• On the Booty Call Arson:
  • “So it was sex or death. That was the options.” – Larry ([16:10])
• On Religion & Aliens:
  • “It’s kind of an arrogant thought that something that comes here needs our help.” – Larry ([20:12])
  • “If they show up with Jesus, now you got atheists going, wait a second.” – John ([21:24])
  • “You gotta be smarter than that. How annoying it would be if aliens landed here and the first guy they get is like, let me tell you about Jesus Christ.” – Larry ([30:02])
• On App Contests:
  • “We give you guys money and you think it’s because we’re like—when we are. But really it’s the corporate office saying if we give them money, they’ll...boost our numbers.” – Larry ([05:59])
• Alien Landing Plan:
  • “I bow to my alien overlords and all their beliefs immediately. Land at my house.” – Larry ([33:45])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:13–07:05] – Radio Bob Gimmicks, App Contests, Listener Names
• [07:17–09:13] – Baseless Fun Facts & Wage-Spending Riff
• [10:08–11:43] – Best Cities for Halloween Trick-or-Treat
• [12:47–13:43] – Delta Flight Attendant Crisis (Emergency Slide)
• [14:29–17:38] – Booty Call Arson in New Jersey
• [17:43–19:24] – NightLights and Heart Attack Risks
• [19:24–22:48] – Baptizing Aliens Debate
• [23:15–27:07] – Comedy Wildlife Awards, Studio TV Chaos
• [27:14–29:23] – Gross-Out Video Round
• [29:37–34:55] – Religion, Aliens, Siding with the Overlords (“I bow to my alien overlords...”)

Tone & Language

The hosts maintain a salty, improvisational, and often irreverent tone, filled with Arizona-centric references, quick-witted banter, and running gags. They blend pop culture, dark humor, and regional in-jokes with a persistent skepticism toward authority, both corporate and religious.

Conclusion

If you missed the show, this episode delivers:

• Wild news stories (booty calls and arson, flight mishaps)
• Snark and skepticism about corporate radio practices
• An off-kilter group take on Halloween, generational divides, and the alien baptism dilemma
• Outlandish what-if riffs about alien overlords and religion
• The usual blend of gross-out humor and technical chaos

Holmberg’s crew keeps it fast, loud, and absurdly Arizona.