10-28-25 - Reactions And Emails On Going w/Toledo To World Series - Listener Thanks John For Advocating For Pet Insurance - Rideshare Driver Busted For Sexually Assaulting 21yo Woman Who Was Black Out Drunk We Say Is Cautionary Tale

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness - October 28, 2025

Episode Overview

On this episode, John Holmberg and the usual crew (Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo) dive into listener reactions about Toledo’s World Series tickets, memorable tales of longtime listeners, and, more seriously, a new local crime story involving a rideshare driver accused of sexual assault. They touch on pet insurance advocacy and share their typical mix of crude jokes and candid social commentary.

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Key Discussion Points

1. World Series Ticket Drama and Listener Reactions

• Topic: Toledo going to the World Series and offering a ticket sparks a flood of listener emails, requests, and jabs.
• Hilarious Emails: Listeners send in over-the-top pleas or mock Toledo’s “cuck” status.
• Notable Quote:
  • "Dangling this ticket over these poor listeners heads is just cruel. Toledo is used to being a cuck, but I think all of the listeners are being cucked by him." – John reads a listener email, (02:11)
• Dead Listener Callbacks:
  • Gary, a deceased listener with a “whore wife,” resurfaces in stories, combining dark humor with references to past show lore.
  • "Gary gets that brain geoblastoma...starts wandering around in some fugue state in his front yard." – John, (03:30)
• Who Should Go With Toledo?
  • Blind listeners, queer/countercultural fans, or “mean, angry lesbian” regulars get suggested in jest.
  • “Then both of you can sit there and not watch the Mariners in the World Series.” – John quoting another listener, (04:58)
• Fans Flexing Connections:
  • “Tell Toledo I know Legumina.” (05:48). Discussion reveals it’s a Mariners relief pitcher — leading to riffs on ticket hierarchies and flexes.

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2. Stories from Fans and Listeners

• Road Trip Fears and Adventures: Imagining sharing a hotel with “Jay Guten Tag,” a notorious tough female fan, filled with vivid, comedic imagery:
  • “She’s shaving...the Beaver's in winter mode. I had to clean it up. Oh God.” – John, (08:56)
• Jamaica and Travel Anecdotes:
  • John calls Jamaica "awful," citing poverty and safety issues: “The natives, the Jamaicans, just stand there and wait for you to leave and beg money...the resort people tell you do not leave.” (10:22)
  • Quick asides on hurricanes, travel safety, and differences between tourist experiences versus local hardship.

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3. Advocacy for Pet Insurance

• Listener Story:
  • Justin writes in about his pet’s lifesaving heart surgery and thanks John for advocating for pet insurance, which he credits for making the surgery possible.
  • “Your advocation for pet insurance is probably the best advice I’ve ever gotten since becoming a dog parent.” – Justin (Listener email read by John), (16:26)
• John’s Advice:
  • "If you want to take on a pet, you have to be able to afford a pet."
  • Shares stories of unexpected vet bills and coverage saving thousands. Explains why vet care prices are rising, and why insurance is fast becoming essential. (17:55+)

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4. Cautionary Tale: Rideshare Assault in the News

• Story Recap:
  • Rideshare driver (Lamolineaux) accused of assaulting a 21-year-old who was blackout drunk (21:16+)
• Responsibility & Safety Discussion:
  • John pushes for candid advice to avoid putting yourself in dangerous situations:
    • “It is also not an excuse to be blind drunk and climb in a car with a stranger...” (22:25)
    • “Still be smart about how you're drinking...it's a terrible idea to get blackout drunk and climb in.”
  • Parent & “Buddy System” Responsibility: Group agrees friends should never let a friend go alone in such a state.
  • Notable Quote:
    • "I'm not saying she's done something she deserved...I'm just saying there's got to be a spot now...Don't do that to yourself. Don't put yourself in that position." – John, (31:10)
• Possible Solutions (Tongue-in-Cheek):
  • Jokes about an app that offers "a bump" (cocaine) to keep people coherent enough to get home safely – blending black humor with bleak commentary.
    • “If you’re that drunk, I think I’m gonna go ahead and advocate for a bump. I’ve never done one myself, but…” (28:42)

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5. Personal Drug Experiences & Generational Drug Fears

• Cocaine Bans & Taunts:
  • Jokes and banter about who on the show has/hasn't done coke, and whether they’d do it for/with celebrities (Dua Lipa, Lamar Jackson).
    • “Would you do coke with Dua Lipa if Lamar Jackson was her connection and the three of you had to hook up?” (36:44)
• Personal Stories:
  • John credits his drug-addict cousin for keeping him away from hard drugs.
    • “It was a cautionary tale that I actually got to live with for a couple of months. You’re like, none of this looks good. None of it seems worth it.” (33:30)
• Generational Attitudes:
  • Discussion about parents’ fear of marijuana and today's casual attitude around more serious drugs.

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6. Listener Emails: Social Responsibility & Rideshare Culture

• Victim Shaming vs. Personal Responsibility:
  • Debate over whether discussing responsibility is "victim shaming" or necessary advice for the public.
  • "There’s personal responsibility involved. Doesn’t make it right, but both parties are kind of being dumb." (Listener email read by John, 27:19)
• Overtrust in Rideshares:
  • Commentary on society’s quick trust in Uber/Lyft over sensible caution.
    • “I think we trust Uber too much. You should always be a little wary of climbing in a car with somebody strange, especially when you’re not at your best.” (37:15)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Pet Insurance:
  • "I've had dogs with cancer that would have cost literally about $80,000 and [insurance] covered like 90% of that." – John, (18:59)
• On Jamaica:
  • "Jamaica sucks...you couldn't leave the resort. They had fences around the resort because the natives...just stand there and wait for you to leave and beg money." – John, (10:22)
• On Uber and Safety:
  • "It is also not an excuse to be blind drunk and climb in a car with a stranger. There's a certain factor that Ubers have been awesome to kill DUIs, but also have given the excuse that you can just plaster yourself against the wall and pass out in a stranger's backseat." – John, (22:25)
• On Drug Use:
  • "I would like to be the first Dobson alumnus that's never done coke. I'm proud of that." – John, (39:44)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Sports Equinox & Listener Ticket Jokes: 01:26–06:50
• Travel Anecdotes & Jamaica Stories: 10:01–12:14
• Pet Insurance Advocacy and Listener Email: 16:26–21:00
• Rideshare Assault Case Discussion: 21:16–34:18
• Drugs, Generational Fear, and Listener Stories: 28:41–39:44

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Tone & Style

As always, the show delivers a blend of edgy, irreverent humor, and moments of authentic personal advice, maintaining a conversational, candid tone. The hosts engage in witty banter, often taking listener emails as a springboard for comedic riffs and social critique. There’s a unique mix of sincerity and sarcasm, especially around issues of safety, pet care, and social responsibility.

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Summary prepared for listeners who missed the episode – skip the ads, catch the best jokes, and know where the real-life lessons and laughs landed.

Transcript

[A]

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[C]

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[C]

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[B]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in J There's miles to nowhere Katie and the Hobbs getting you started here Tuesday morning. It's 10 before 7 o'. Clock. Huge. Still kind of buzzing over you know we had the they're calling it the guy just emailed me remind me it's a sports equinox the all of the major sport he said five major sports and I don't know what the fifth one would be but this makes WNBA women mad. All of the major sports played last night and that never happens. Hockey, basketball, baseball, football, all of them. And probably had a college football game in there too, which might be what he's saying the fifth major sport is, but it's Very rare that we have all. You know, it's the once a year really. It's about it. We won't ever have football and baseball going at the same time unless it's October. So it's the only time you can really get them all going without a pandemic. When we had that for a while and everybody was going. But man, it's great though. And I completely, because the game was so good, just walked away from the Chiefs and Commanders. It was seven. Seven. I'm like, all right, I'll come back to that. I got so wrapped up in that baseball game, I even forgot that was going on. Awesome. This one says, man, all these ghouls calling and texting for a shot at Toledo's ticket. This is pathetic. You should be playing I've got a golden ticket song today. Dangling this ticket over these poor listeners heads is just cruel. Toledo is used to being a cuck, but I think all of the listeners are being cucked by him. Suddenly 90% of listeners have become libtards just for the chance of Toledo's empty seat. He made it political. Good job. Toledo the student has become the teacher. Typical Dems looking for another free hand up from one of their own. Not me. I'd rather be at work than seated next to Toledo in some sanctuary state in a third world city. I go to a World Series and it's pretty cool. Oh, hey, what about Gary's whore wife? Now that, remember Gary the listener that. Yeah, he's gone, right? He died. He's one of the dying ones. So you could always have Toledo take Gary's whore wife and get a road BJ on the way. That's true, but you don't have to take her to a World series game for that. You just have to meet her ever. Gary's whore wife. What a story that was. Gary gets that brain geoblastoma or whatever they call that thing, starts wandering around in some fugue state in his front yard. Neighbor grabs him, takes him to the hospital. Turns out the only reason the neighbor was outside was to wave down Gary's whore wife and get her into the house so he could boner before she went into her own place.

[D]

Well, he wasn't supposed to be home either, wasn't he?

[B]

Who?

[C]

Gary.

[B]

Well, I don't know if Gary was supposed to be home. I think the dude was thinking that he's inside, he ain't coming out. But he got wobbly and then he didn't. Gary's whore wife drugged this guy to the hospital in Kansas City. Now that it's all coming back to me. Remember that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The whore wife showed up to get Gary to sign off on some papers to divorce him while his brain exploded. She couldn't even wait.

[D]

And here's the guy that saved your.

[B]

Life and he's sitting in the lobby. That dude had the balls to show up. Said, man, everyone is coming out of the woodwork to hang out with Toledo at the World Series. I mean, everyone except his dad. Ain't this a on fire? Ryan has a good one. He says, hey, Toledo, why don't you take that blind listener you guys always talk about? Then both of you can sit there and not watch the Mariners in the World Series. John. President John, our black listener says, I can come pick you up. My hoopty will take Spear Airlines, not Spirit. Spear. And I got some hotel we could stay at. Then he followed up a sec, a few seconds later with a great warning. It's out of order. Said, anyway, sorry, hotel ain't working out. My homie got a back house with two bunk beds, so I think he's on the list. President John would be.

[D]

That'd be fun.

[B]

A blast. Says listening to you. Of course the Jew is excited of pushing this on someone and getting somebody a tax write off. It is not what I was saying. This one says, throw my name in for their Toledo's tickets and tell Toledo I know Legumina. Richard.

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

What's Lego Mina?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I'm gonna throw a guess out there. Something has to do with Seattle. That would be my guess. Who's Lego Mina Mina. Legumina. L U G L E G U M I N A Our relief pitcher. There it is.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Is that who it is?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

He says he knows him so well. Then you could be friends with a Seattle Mariner.

[A]

It could be like Tripp with Dave.

[B]

And then I called Legumina and I got to sit in the friends and family seats. Yeah, Dave's got a lot of family and I'm on that list. He throws that out there like we don't notice. That is a hard flex. Dave's got a ton of family and I've been to about three playoff games on his family.

[C]

Well, you had to put him in check a little bit yesterday because you just said, well, you're lower on the list.

[B]

No, he said that. I said, you're on the short list because Dave's family. I don't know how many tickets the manager that gets the games.

[D]

And he was like, no, he's got a lot of.

[B]

He's got a lot of family. And still I get to go favorite status. Well, he knows Legomina, if you're interested. So would Toledo go with that mean, angry lesbian listener that used to call Guten Tag? Oh, tell you what, man. Time of your life pulling chicks out of that crowd.

[A]

She'll protect you in the bleachers, though.

[C]

She hates me.

[B]

I know what we do, man. Toledo. At first, I'd talk. You know how wrong you are. Everything, man. Then you and I would be eating Mexican out there in the right field bleachers, if you know what I mean, man. You know what I'm talking about, man. Not talking about the kind you get over a counter. Although sometimes you can put them up there.

[D]

Queen tacos.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

Lady J has the meats, and you.

[B]

Replace the N with an F. And it's my favorite kind of queen taco, man. Let's get out there, man. You and me. Pull some snooch now and then. All like your tacos all the way back. Like Skittles on her fingers. A rainbow of flavors. Come on. This one was the Mexican one. My middle finger was the Indian broad. Let me smell your hands.

[C]

That's your no loving, committed relationship.

[B]

I am, man. That's why I love her. She lets me do what I want. You know what I'm talking about, man? Yeah, take Guten Talk. You know what? You can get it done. The worst thing you could do. You and Jay Dogs. No. Well, I'm not eating that, man. Cut it up in little bits. I'm not putting one of those in my mouth, man. It's your. Everybody, close your eyes. And I know not all of you know the Jay Guten Tag, but I think you have. We have painted a picture. Toledo Guten Tag sharing a room at the Red Roof in. Right. Toledo's a little dizzy, sleepy. They might have drank it off last night. He wakes up, looks over at Guten Tag's bed. Someone's in there. We're good. He goes into the bathroom, and Jay's got one leg on the toilet and one leg on the ground. And she's shaving it. Hey, man. Knock, man. Oh, yeah, man. The Beaver's in winter mode. I had to clean it up. Oh, God. You get to see that weird shave because she's all arched up like a Coca Cola.

[C]

I just hear that buzz from the bathroom.

[B]

Yeah, she's Coca Pelly in her stuff. No, she's doing it with a dry.

[C]

Doing it with a straight razor.

[B]

Dry razors at the Red roof in, man. One blade, man. She's got the. She's gonna take a half an hour. Sharpen it on the leather straps. I can barely get through the thicket.

[D]

Man.

[B]

Smell my hands, though.

[C]

No.

[B]

You know you want to smell my hands, man. That senorita was solid, man. Can Craig gasket you in there?

[A]

He.

[C]

And I've been texting. I don't know if he's going.

[B]

Come on.

[C]

I also was going to reach out to Adam Ray, but I'm not sure if he stopped.

[B]

Why would all these Mariners fans want to go to this? You're. You're asking all the wrong dudes. Yeah, we'll get you a listener.

[C]

Well, they brought it up.

[B]

I know. It'll be fun. Oh, by the way, if you guys wanted to go to Jamaica, you got about four hours. It ain't gonna be gone. It's good is that storm is huge, and it's just dead eyeing that thing. So if you. If you love Jamaica, if you're kind of already hitting the grill already, it's gonna. It's gonna clobber the whole island. It's going.

[C]

Have you been?

[B]

I went to an uncle's wedding there. I was there for a day and a half and hated it. I thought Jamaica was awful. It was. You couldn't leave the resort. They had fences around the resort because the natives. The natives, the. Whatever they are, the Jamaicans, they just stand there and wait for you to leave and beg money. And there's tunnels under the thing, and then, like, dudes will be under. We're on the beach under the fence that they build around the thing, and then you walk the beach and the dudes underground going. They're like, what? And they're just drugs and anything. You get robbed at the drop of a hat. The resort people tell you, do not leave.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

You have to stay at, like, Atlantis. We had a nice one day. I was there for Atlantis.

[C]

On his own island.

[B]

Yeah, it's kind of its own thing, but we were at a nice resort.

[D]

Just had a buddy that got back from Atlantis.

[B]

Yeah, Atlantis is supposed to be pretty cool, but it's very touristy. Kids everywhere, kind of. It's really expensive and. Yes. Well, I mean, you expect it to be because it's the only place that's safe, and the only thing to do is go visit Bob Marley's grow house.

[C]

But you got to leave the resort.

[B]

You got to leave the resort. You got to go on a bus, and then that gets you into another safe zone. Yeah, Jamaica sucks.

[C]

Well, maybe they'll wash away.

[B]

I don't want to. I don't want to get.

[A]

Streets are empty.

[B]

Oh, it's.

[A]

That's live.

[B]

Despite it being a suck.

[C]

That's a live cam.

[A]

Yeah, it's live.

[B]

A sucky island that I don't know how that didn't become. Cuz it actually is. Like visually it's gorgeous, but it is. It's poverty and misery and it surrounds all this amazing resort stuff. But yeah, Got a couple of morning commuters. Yeah, maybe a couple. Yeah.

[A]

The rush hour there is brutal.

[C]

Jeez.

[B]

Good morning, Negrila. We keep doing the show, man. You're not gonna be here much longer. Morning sickness 28 can you repeat?

[C]

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[C]

Tight, but we'll have to check in at 10.

[B]

Yeah. If you want to go, now's your time. There's a dude just walking around on the video.

[D]

Do they go to the other side of the Island.

[B]

The whole thing's getting pummeled. Like, the eye is going right over the top. Dead center, evidently. Yeah. This thing is not. Not messing around. Jamaica has no, like, escape routes. So fun. Hey, man, why are you talking about Jamaica, man? Talk about my big shave. Yes, that's. Well, there's some river flooding.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I think a lot of people are, you know, emailing and going, oh, it's not good. It isn't. And, you know, you don't want that to happen, but. Oh, there we go. Kingston. The waters get. The water looks angry. Yeah. Yeah, I don't. That's not good. I don't get it, man. Living in hurricane places just for the. The beauty.

[A]

Their power is already down.

[B]

All right, that one's done. Kingston's gone. We'll keep an eye on that. So, John, you were making fun of that guy's horn on his head. I'm not sure if it's lost on you, but you have something sticking off the front of your face that people often wonder how come you're not getting it removed? I'm like, it's not a medical anomaly. It's just a big nose. You jerk. Ryan. Douche. I remember yesterday, we closed the show talking about Nelly, and she's like, she's mad. People are noticing that she's four Nellies now. She's Nelly. Nelly, Nelly.

[A]

I'm mad. I had to see it.

[C]

Nelly squared.

[B]

Nelly. Yeah, Nelly. Big time. It was cubed Says, bro. The way you guys were talking about Nelly, when I looked her up, I was expecting a nasty ass Lizzo. But I looked. She's even hotter. She's delicious. Thickness. I'd chow that back door after she just discovered chili dogs and wore leather pants. Okay, what's the deal in the flavor, Blake?

[C]

The World Series?

[B]

He sounds like if you know Blake Duhan. Leather pants and chili dogs.

[C]

No boundaries.

[B]

Seals in the flavor. Yeah, the flavor of. Who wants that before we get on to the rest of this? Oh, we got this one, too. Tell Toledo it's not so bad. I spent 5,500 bucks once wasting my money on a guide for a lifetime bison hunt. We're allowed to shoot them again?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Sorry, natives. Lesson not learned. They're not even real bison anymore.

[C]

Private ranches I'm on in Montana.

[B]

You can go shoot bison, huh? Yeah. All right. Well, buffalo.

[C]

Not the real bison.

[B]

Yes, the beefalo half and half, I said. Anyway, the brazo fire ruined it, and the guy decided, hey, we can still do this, and led me on a wild goose chase for Three days in an area bison. Haven't been for decades because we weren't allowed where they used to be. He took my money and ran to never answered any calls or emails. I could sue his ass to prove a point, but that's just more money wasted. So don't feel bad about your. Yeah, you know, could get worse. Oh, seven o'. Clock. Gotta get to work. Bones, seven o'. Clock. Word is bones on the app. Get on that B O N E S Bones. Hop on that. Maybe you win a thousand bucks. It's what Toledo's gonna lose on his tickets. Unless. Well, you're gonna lose 2400 no matter what and you're gonna go with a listener. And then I gotta read this one too cause Justin emailed and I wanna help. Nisa Tomberg, a big fan of the show, been listening since the beginning and I like you, have love for the four legged friends and have been to many of your money and fundraising events and I've loved them all. I always hear you talking about people who take on responsibilities of pets, not realizing the financial side of things when you promise to take care of a beloved pet. Also, your advocation for pet insurance is probably the best advice I've ever gotten since becoming a dog parent. I'm writing this because today he said tomorrow, but it is now. It's actually happening in an hour. Our little pug corgi mix, Emma Jane, is going in for life saving heart surgery. And without the vets, without this stuff. The surgery the vets predicted maybe a year tops. She was born stillborn. She was brought back to life with CPR and has a little hole in her heart that didn't close. The surgery is incredibly expensive and if it wasn't for the pet insurance, things would be very difficult right now. And I know you don't do it, but maybe a shout out to my precious angel Emma and give your dogs a little extra love and some cookies in hopes that everything goes well for my beautiful dog. I hope you guys have a great morning. Thanks for the last. For the past 20 plus years. Thanks, Justin. Absolutely. And that is anytime I get to advocate for pet insurance, I will do it. Nothing worse than sitting in an emergency vet just like last week and having someone come in and say this is going on my cat. And the person behind the counter says the estimate's going to be about 2,800 bucks, 3,500 bucks. And they're like, I can't afford it. And you're like, and you got another option and insurance covers it. And it's, you know, it can be. It's worth it. I've had dogs with cancer that would have cost literally about $80,000 and covered like 90% of that. It's amazing. And the prices for dogs, medical attention and stuff has gone through the roof. So if you can do it, if you want to take on a pet, you have to be able to afford a pet. And it helps a ton. Especially if you got a puppy. You go get a puppy and you knock that out of there. It's. It's cheap right off the bat. The fee is nothing. And then if anything goes wrong, like, you know, my dog got. Our dogs got a little wild and the little one got bit in the head. Cut her up like 3500 bucks. Cut him up and just getting stitches in his head. That insurance going to cover almost all that. That's awesome. So hop on that. If you don't have enough money to take care of your pet, you're playing the fire, emotional fire, the worst kind. Don't do that. Good luck, Emma. We're all counting on you. Hopefully that's a message that you guys receive on your way in as well. Meanwhile, and somebody says, what pet insurance do you use? Fetch is the one I've got. And you can shop around on this. There's different. They cover different things. You know, if you've got a dog that has a big carrier. Yeah, sometimes the big insurance companies will do it. And some. Some companies are offering pet insurance with their plants now, which is awesome. I mean, they've made. It's not so much that it's overkill for dogs. They vet. Vets have gone to people prices. They're doing so many. But that's because the technology for vets is so much better. So they're doing a better job, but it costs them more money to do it. So it costs us more money to take our dogs to the vet. It's pricey as hell. But if you care about your animals and you want to make sure they're okay, you know, the test that they, you know, we gotta do a $900 test here or a $600 thing there, and next thing you know, you've added up to two grand. You don't even know what's wrong yet. Now my one dog has valley fever and they thought it was a tumor in his lungs. So we did a couple of X rays and some testing and everything else came back valley fever. But the pricing to get there was expensive. And then the medical medicine, he's going to have to do for a while. So always, always think to yourself, what's the best option for the dog and me? And not just like cross your fingers and hope nothing happens. And if you're one of those people, it's just like, I just put it down and get another one. Then I'm not talking to you and I don't want to hear from you. It's just. I get it. There's. There's that element. You guys do your thing talking to other people. I wanted to bring this up because I saw in the news last they got a guy who. And I'm not. This is going to come across like victim shaming, but it's. I mean, it's sort of like reprimanding someone for putting himself in a bad spot. There's a story about rideshare driver accused of sexually assaulting passengers and got one. I got a passenger. And they think there's a more on his list. His name is Jesus Christ. Wow.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Lemol New Bane. L E M O L I N E A U X Lamalino. That's not a name. We're not going to play the game. We know.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And he says he picked up a 21 year old girl after a night out with her friends. And the cops are like, yeah, you use these so you don't drink and drive. It's to be responsible. But obviously there's still a criminal element. When Lamala Meno Bane and the woman arrived at her home, her parents inadvertently interrupted what was happening and confronted him. Now, the parents use the extra security that some of the rideshare companies offer and noticed that she was taking a long time to get out of the car. They came outside, see what was going on and Lamala man and oh was, you know, evidently doing bad things. Detectives believe there are probably more victims out there who don't remember details because they're drunk. It's important that everybody knows that they need to just be brave and come forward if this is the case and that's what they're asking for. Here's the other thing. And I think rideshares are awesome. They keep DUIs off the streets. It is also not an excuse to be blind drunk and climb in a car with a stranger. There's a certain factor that Ubers have been awesome to kill DUIs, but also have given the excuse that you can just plaster yourself against the wall and pass out in a stranger's backseat. You don't know that Uber driver. So it's a terrible idea to get, you know, blackout Drunk and climb. Would you do that? Pre Uber? Would you ever go, hey, this guy's going to give you a ride home? You're like, I can't even see. It's like you're, you know, you got to stop that.

[D]

So maybe there's an opportunity for the driving service. The ones that are absolutely plastered, they're like, certified. It's a little more expensive, but they make sure you get home.

[B]

Well, that's what the Uber's doing. But he's. To get you out of the car, he's got to handle you. And that's where it's kind of your fault.

[D]

Yeah. If you can't even get out.

[B]

If you. If you're passed out in the back of an Uber, like, passed out to where you can't get up, and the Uber driver is your only option for safety, it's putting an awful lot of trust in a dude who's driving Uber at three in the morning, taking drunks home. You have got to. You got to be smarter than that. Now, you know, it doesn't excuse this dude for taking it to the next level. And there's plenty of Uber guys out there who will help you. But is it worth the risk? So why are people saying, you know, oh, this is. It is not designed for that. To get, you know, still. Still be smart about how you're drinking. When we were up in Sedona, my buddy and I, Jeff and Anthony and I were in a bar and we were watching this little. This group of people, and one of the girls just got blotto. And it was fast and, like, look at her now. She's, like, leaning on walls. Her friends didn't do anything about it till it was, like, breaking point. Like, she was going to tip over this morning sickness. 98. Why choose a sleep number? Smart bed. Can I make my site softer? Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler? Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side. Your sleep number setting. Enjoy personalized comfort for better sleep night after night. And now max out your savings. The more you buy, the more you save on beds, bases and more. Plus, get free home delivery on any smart bed with base limited time. Check it out at a sleep number store near you [e-mail] today. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. And then they're, like, walking around and they just leave her on the curb for a little while. You got, you got there. Whatever happened to the girls who like to hang with their friends? For a second to make sure they're all right. So, yeah, it's not an excuse to. To get blackout drunk. You have to be smart. There needs to be some sort of a. I don't know, a campaign to say, yeah, sure, Ubers and rideshares exist, but it's still on you to do not get that bad. You shouldn't want to get that bad anyway, ever. People plopping stuff in your drinks. You're easily taken advantage of. So, yes, it's terrible at the Uber guy, that for sure. But I don't know, climbing into it. That's why I love Waymo so much.

[A]

Nobody.

[B]

You pass out in a Waymo. It just sits in front of your house and nags you. I've done it. Oh, really? What does it sleep. You've. You've reached your destination. Please exit the vehicle. Don't forget your keys and your wallet and your phone. And you're kind of like, huh, You've reached your destination. Like, all right, all right, all right. You okay? Yeah. So, yeah, I was asleep because it was like three in the morning. I was dead tired. It wasn't. I was drunk, but I wasn't like, pass that. I was just really tired. I could be awakened and I was functional, but I fell asleep in the car. Such a smooth ride. They've got that glorious kind of spa music going.

[A]

And I change that right away.

[B]

You do? I enjoy it. I really do. You have your phone connected to it? Yeah, yeah, I've done that. But I don't want to listen to that. I want to listen to the soothing sounds that Uber provides. I really kind of enjoy the peaceful nature of whatever it is that station is every time I get in. But yeah, it nags you a little bit when you get in there. And that's, you know, but that's it. So yeah, maybe a. Maybe a PSA to say, hey, you know, we're not driving anymore. But if you're passed out drunk, maybe a buddy system should be in play. Ladies, you know, and she's going to her parents house. I didn't know that Uber had an option for extra security. I guess it just tells someone else where the car is. That must be it. Like, so they can monitor like, what's going on, how come it's taken so long, where are they? That kind of thing.

[D]

It would have to be, I mean, if they're tracking it down. But that is interesting. Would you have to link the phone?

[B]

Yes. Yeah, they would just share it with someone. This one says, I've been screamed at for victim shaming. John, when it comes to this conversation, there's personal responsibility involved. Doesn't make it right, but both parties are kind of being dumb. Oh, no question. Blackout drunk is never good for a 21 year old girl. They're going to do it. We like it when they're drunk. But blackout drunk is never good, ever. At least she was responsible enough to do the. The ride share. But you got to be smarter than that to get into a car with a stranger by yourself. Age 21, and you can't keep yourself together. Matt Wolf has the solution. You know what? I'm not against it. Says, this is why a few bumps of coke while you're drinking to stay coherent isn't a bad thing. That's right. The counterbalance. Couple of bumps keeps the grubby paws. You know, it's almost, in a weird way, and I'm not advocating cocaine use, except for maybe now. It's almost the same as Narcan. You know, it's not good for you. It's not good for your heart and stuff, but you've already gotten yourself into a position where we're not talking about health concerns. You know, a little Adderall, maybe a bounce off somebody's, you know, and get in that Uber. Just go, I got 10 minutes before this all goes sideways. And then you start doing that. I don't know, maybe Matt's right.

[D]

Smelling salts.

[B]

It's not worse than being incapacitated completely. Yeah, it's kind of nature's smelling salts. But if you. Yeah, if you're. If you're that drunk, I think I'm gonna go ahead and advocate for a bump. I've never done one myself, but I'm shocked how many people have that. I know, it just. It blows my mind how many people are like, oh, yeah, it's great. It'll get you going and you're drunk and it gets you. I'm like, I can't. I. I just see, I'm horrified by it. Said I was 1 million percent waiting for you to say sign Nathan Sutherland. After you read that. That's it. Well, that's exactly you're dealing with. I'm gonna talk to Matt Wolf about that. Maybe have a little. She's too passed out drunk to get in the Uber, you know, cocaine, Narcan. Narcan's no different. You've heroined yourself into a corner. Your brain shuts your body off from breathing Narcan up, and you're back. It doesn't last forever, evidently. I've heard you get a horrible headache from Narcan when you do that.

[A]

But you almost died, I guess, at that point.

[B]

Why are we discussing how the health. The regulations of what the next drug's going to do? How about again, personal responsibility kicks in, but if you get to the point where you're climbing into somebody's car, it's probably not a bad idea to do a bump. I say have a bump handy. I'm saying.

[D]

So they basically just piled her into the car and let her go.

[B]

Would seem so. We've done that to guys. Remember our former co worker, Jeff gets a loose mouth when he's drunk.

[A]

Oh, we did it to Toledo in Vegas.

[B]

Oh, we put him in a cab.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Was he that bad? Oh, yeah, I remember he was.

[A]

Fitz had to tell the cabbie not to rape his friend. He gave him an extra 20.

[B]

Right. I forgot about that.

[A]

He had that bottle of Jack Daniels cuddled up like a teddy.

[B]

That countered my 20 to go ahead, rape him. I didn't know that. Yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, he had. He had stole like bottle service and took the bottle because we bought it and he would. He was hugging it like a teddy. Yeah. Toledo was obliterated and he may have been raped, but it isn't victim shaming. Because I'm not saying she's. She's done something she deserved. I'm not saying that by any stretch. I'm just saying there's got to be a spot now.

[D]

There should be.

[B]

Don't do that to yourself. Don't put yourself in that position.

[D]

Can't they make it a policy now? Like, if I were Uber.

[B]

Yeah. I wouldn't take. I wouldn't take an incapacitated.

[D]

But again, throw that responsibility onto the driver.

[B]

It isn't that a bad driver would still take you. A guy with bad intention, still going to take.

[D]

Right.

[B]

So he needs to. Yeah, he needs to go away. There's no question about that. But I'm saying from this point forward, there has to be, like, at least a mere mention of saying, hey to prevent it. This is a terrible idea, by the way. Don't. Don't get in these cars and, you know, wait it out. Call the cops on yourself or your friend and just say, I don't want to put this person in Uber. They're not going to make it. Cocaine rideshare is not a bad idea. You offer the people like, it's the next step to Uber. It's going to cost four or five hundred dollars a ride, but, you know, you get a little bump, you Go forward. You're good in the back. So, John, let's be honest. You make a nice living, but that enormous nose of you. A little bump is half a cup. Nobody can afford what you can snort. That's very true. And I'm not saying I'm going to do it. I don't want to do coke. I don't. I don't have any interest in it. It's like something about it feels filthy, and I don't want to be doing that. So I. You know, you try not to drink yourself into oblivion. This guy says, would you do coke if Dua Lipa had it? Oh, yeah. I would do it off of her dancer's wangs. Duo hands me coke. I'd be like, how much do you want me to do before I'm the coolest guy in the room? Yeah, she. She could do coke in front of me, and I would be a little disappointed, but I'd get over it real fast. You've never done it?

[A]

No, no, no. Not my thing.

[B]

Hey, I don't see it as mine either. I don't want. It was.

[D]

All right.

[B]

You liked it when you did your bumps when you were bumping.

[A]

It's at the Bread concert.

[B]

Oh, yeah. When he was inadvertently given coke by Uncle Mike. Yeah. I've no interest. Doesn't. It's like, I don't see that. My cousin screwed me up. My drug addict cousin. I was young, and I saw his whole life caving in around him because of coke and heroin. And I'm like, well, there's something just to avoid. It was a cautionary tale that I actually got to live with for a couple of months. You're like, never. Like, none of this looks good. None of it seems worth it.

[D]

And I still have the. The belief that, you know, you try it once, you're hooked.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Forever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They got you. You're the generation that was Reefer Madnesses. I can't imagine what your parents thought of cocaine because they were scared to death of the weed. And, you know, says the media forced it to say, oh, this is. That hippie lettuce will kill your kids. Bad idea. Gateway everything. Yeah, it isn't a. Yeah. And people will confuse that for victim shaming. I'm not. I'm just saying, here's some personal responsibility going forward. This girl was a victim, there's no question. And the dude who did it needs to go to jail for a long, long time. But going forward, maybe Uber shouldn't be used as an ambulatory transport of your Corpse. Think about that next time you climb in. That's all.

[D]

It's a partner thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's like you're going to put.

[D]

You're going to put that person in there. Yeah. Inconvenience you. You can give them a hard time the next day, but someone rides with that person.

[B]

Yeah. This one said it's a new app we should make. It's called Bump me. Guy shows up, gives you a little bump before you call your Uber. Yeah, Bump me. A stranger comes up and gives you cocaine. That's not a better idea. Hey, somebody call bump me. How you doing? Who needs the bump? Whoa, I'm looking at this lump here. This is the bump lump, right? Yeah. We got to get this in there. Here's how you do it. She's almost out. You hold her nose and then when she kind of starts wanting to breathe in, I just put my finger under there and she takes it up. Said, would you do coke even if Dua Lipa had meat curtains?

[A]

All right.

[B]

What are you doing to my duo? Why would she have meat curtains? So you stretch one out and you start. No, come on. That's disgusting. I know I could get them. Yes, of course I would do that. But she doesn't have curtains. And even she did, they'd probably be perfect. Like mid century modern. Like the flow from ceiling to floor. Curtains. I like that.

[D]

Nice pleats.

[B]

No good pleats. Maybe even a weird color. Like not even today's fashion, but you'd walk in and go, this place is a throwback. It's gorgeous. She's pretty much capable of doing whatever she wants, but yeah. This one says, I snorted coke with bread at the Hideaway bar in Cave Creek. Don't let him fool you. He loves that. Yeah, right. Were you doing coke at the Hideaway?

[A]

No.

[B]

Come on, Brett.

[A]

Nope.

[B]

Fess up.

[A]

Not my thing.

[B]

Yeah, I don't. I don't. I've. Yeah, I've seen people I don't like. People who I've had to leave places because the person I was with, I didn't know did it. Holmberg's morning sickness. And I don't think people realize that when you're on coke, you're intolerable. You're not fun, you're just annoying. You're non stop annoying. At least the people who do it and think that they're. It's. It's not a. It's a. Yeah, don't do. If you're doing it right now, it's like, shut up. There you go. To mother. You're not as fun as you think you are. Hardly ever. But, yeah. It's not a thing called Bishop o'.

[A]

Brien to give you a ride home.

[B]

This guy thinks he's got me on dua and he might. Would you do coke with DUA if Lamar Jackson was her connection and the three of you had to hook up?

[A]

Oh, man. Gonna Eiffel Tower with Lamar?

[B]

I gotta share smiles with Lamar Jackson over dua. Which end of the tower am I on?

[A]

You could choose. Yeah, Your choice.

[B]

You just gotta mark that grill.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You gotta face the grill.

[B]

Let's do some dp. We can touch butts. Lamar, would you follow DUA up if she'd just been with Lamar? Come on, guys. What's the matter with you? Of course I would. That's disgusting. Stop bringing Lamar Jackson into sex fantasies, you weirdos. That's on you. Anyway, I saw it on the news last night. Like, yes, Somebody everybody's talking about, and it is sad and tragic and stuff, but Narcane. I like that. Narcane. Sean. Phil's just named it. That's a good idea. What happened to friends? Jamming someone in a car all alone, Some strange dude we trust? What I'm saying is we trust Uber too much. I think we just trust too much when it comes to that. You know, you should always be a little wary of climbing in a car with somebody strange, especially when you're not at your best. So I think we trust Uber too much. And it is a great service, man. It's awesome getting us. I. Countless amount of times I'm like, I'm not leaving my car. And you end up like, how are you getting home? Remember that one service that used to take those little mini bikes?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And they drop a dude off with a scooter. Baby scooter. And it would fold up. Oh, yeah. And he'd drive you home in your car. And then he'd take his scooter somewhere back to headquarters. I don't know where he'd go. I know, like, the hall of Justice. I'm not sure where this guy came from. It was pretty cool. Charles. My friend Charles says you're the first Dobson alumni who's never done coke. Congratulations. Yeah, pretty sure Dobson was. It was coke heavy. So would you rather perform oral on Dua Lipa if she's got hope solos junk, or go to a Jimmy Buffett concert? That's easy. Dua Lipa. Jimmy Buffett is. I mean, what you're describing is still female body parts. Jimmy Buffett's like, taking Lamar Jackson by myself. There's a chance. I'd rather just give Lamar Jackson an Old Fashioned than go to a Jimmy Buffett show. If those were my options, I'd tug. Lamar, you attack. You could tag me or you could go over to. You go over to the Jimmy Buffett concert. Whip it out, Lamar. Let's go.

[A]

Lamar and Derrick Henry just going to town.

[B]

Here we go. Flock Nation. Yeah. See, right there, I just started tugging harder, like, that's. I don't want anything to do with Jimmy311. I'd have just passionate sex with Lamar Jackson before I go to a 311 show. I'd wear a Ravens jersey and have sex with him and, like, go get season tickets to the. Before I'd ever go to a 311 show. Yuck. Yeah, I like to be. I would like to be the first Dobson alumnus that's never done coke. I'm proud of that. There's a lot of them. They've all done. Bert, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[A]

All right. Of course. Ride the Ride.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Action Ride Shop, Wake Up Song.

[B]

Rhett's been doing commercials this morning, and when he does them, you've watched from behind. He's got Italian hands.

[A]

Oh, yeah. The hands are flying.

[B]

He's reading his own words.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And, well, now's the time to get those bikes ready for the season. And it doesn't matter if you're hitting the trails, you just want to ride around the streets or you got BMX bikes for the kids. It doesn't matter. Action Ride Shop's got the ride for you and the mechanics, the wrenches and everything else to keep you on the roads, the trails, canals, whatever. But Action Ride Shops got it going on. And don't forget, you guys, ski season is right around the corner, so they're going to be starting to get you lined up with all the snowboarding and ski gear you can handle over at the main location right there on Gilbert Road and Southern. Two locations. Gilbert Road and Southern. Like I said, the OG and of course, the brand new one at Power Road. McDowell it is action Ride Shop.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

On the list. The Vapors turning Japanese for the World Series. It is Faith no More. Lionel Richie All Night Long for last night's game, Man, Fogarty, Center Field, Austrian Death Machine, Alien Ant Farm, Smooth Criminal for Toledo's Juice. Seats, Apocalyptica, Deicide, Metallica, Soil, Jane's Addiction, Slipknot, Steel Panther, Death Doll.

[B]

But metal was it Lunatic of a God's creation for sh. Otani.

[A]

I don't know that one.

[B]

I don't either. I, like, never heard, like, Diacide.

[A]

I can pull up.

[B]

I don't know what that is, but I would imagine that's a Marcus mang into the pit band. There's Bread. Bread was the last thing.

[A]

I was waiting for it.

[B]

Oh, you had it loaded up and ready to go. I'm sorry. I didn't know. You got to give me the signal for Brady's coke night with Uncle Mike and his cousin. I got a lot of energy tonight, Uncle Mike. Who's feeling good? Yeah, the feelings have just started, my friend. Bread. Yeah, I don't. I don't know this band, and I'm kind of afraid of them.

[A]

My list is all screwed up right now, so.

[B]

Yeah, you don't have to play them. We need this crap fake band. Yeah, I don't think they're real. Let's go with the thing for the dude on the Blue Jays head. It's not a tumor. I like, man. We're doing Slipknot for the night of the singing, dad. Yeah, I like doing the Slipknot songs. Wait and Bleed Is a mother spitting. You're going, it is a. And boy Ryan's going behind me on the drums. It's fun. Night of the Singing Dead is going to be a blast this year. We got to keep it together. This is going to be a slow drink. We're gonna get our get through the good stuff, then we'll start bombing with you guys. But, my God. Oh, man. The Dragon Attack. It's on there. A couple of them get you. So get you. Oh, yeah, it was good. That sounds fine.

[A]

That's.

[B]

Nobody knows the song. That's a beer break. Yeah, that's one. We got one Beer break song. I like it. It's a good song, but nobody knows it. And our bass player demands we play it. He's, like, huge. I want to hear this song. Play this, man.

[A]

Who's running this band.

[B]

Well, we'll give them one every once, you know. You got it. They're musicians. Musicians. Musicians are almost ballerinas. They're kind of. They're almost. You got to remember they're show folk.

[A]

I didn't know Flea joined your band.

[B]

I'm telling you, you hang out with musicians, and you realize that you're seconds away from being with somebody who is almost in Broadway. But they took the other route and they decided to be angry about. And then they express themselves, music and stuff. So that's Why? I always get. I always kind of laugh when rock guys get so mean.

[A]

Roar.

[B]

I'm like, no, your. Your heart is going into your.

[D]

Then they're ultra sensitive.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, they're so sensitive. So, you know when one's like, I want to play this one, and we're doing like, 20 songs, 22 songs, and I can give him a bone here and there. He's getting through all the other ones, but they're very. You know, again, I didn't know it as much. I knew in high school. I always thought, man, those rock guys over in the corner smoking are the. They're tough, but they were the most fragile ones. They were the ones that were smoking and dressing like that. So nobody ever got through the core. It got to the core through their. Their shallow crust to see that they're just flawed individuals. That's why they have to dress funny, go their hell, because her dad hates this, and then they cry at the drop of a hat. So you got to be careful around musicians. They're sensitive. And Chris loves Queen, and that's what Dragon Attack is, so I'm really close to gay.

[A]

We could play that.

[B]

Dragon Attack.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, it's not a good way to talk about it, everybody.

[A]

Make everybody familiar.

[B]

No, I want. I'm gonna give you a sign to walk around. Don't play Dragon Attack. It'll drive.

[A]

I'll wear it.

[B]

Drive Chris crazy with bread on that. It'll drive him crazy. You don't. No, it's. It's not. It's not.

[D]

Spin it every 45.

[B]

No, we're not gonna do that either. I don't like any of that. All the way. We got the set list.

[A]

Dragon Attack on the tens.

[B]

The set list is awesome. If you want to get tickets, there are very few. Well, I like it, but. Yeah, you're right, 100%. It's a great song, but everybody's gonna be like, what's this? Let's go with I don't care. Turning Japanese for the World Series seems apropos, but I haven't heard Austrian Death Machine in forever. I don't think we can still play it.

[A]

I like Death to All, but Metal something stupid. We haven't done it.

[B]

Let's do it. Death to all but Metal by Steel Panther.

[A]

I wouldn't got.

[B]

Why not? Marathon baseball game still going on. Are they still pictures of us on our bike ride? Was that us? Oh, I was gonna say I was looking at the website for Action ride Shop. There you go. That'll be good. Yeah. Marcus has already said, I got Deicide Bible Basher edited in the system if you need it. That's right. I think we're good. Thank you. I had a feeling with that name that they were more than likely a Marcus band. You got ready? Yep. All right, let's do it. So your Wake up song. The word is bones for 7am hop on that thing. Take care of business. Steel Panther's gonna take you through now. Good luck. Take it in the app. It's not yet. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this for you, pj.