Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 10-29-25 - Emailer Has 31 Atlas Conspiracy Theory, Questioning the Origins of Man, US Ally, Chinese School Lawsuit, Chernobyl Dogs, Fattest Squirrel Crowned

Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Date: October 29, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness is a classic blend of comedic radio banter, wild conspiracy theories, bizarre news, and the show’s trademark irreverence. The crew dives into an email about the “Three Eye Atlas” conspiracy theory and muses on the origins of humanity, before ricocheting through oddball news stories: Morocco as America's oldest ally, a bizarre school lawsuit in China, thriving dogs near Chernobyl, world record pumpkins, and finally, the crowning of Texas’ fattest squirrel. Expect plenty of the hosts’ signature snark, improvisations, and some lively (and occasionally edgy) jokes.

Main Segments & Key Discussions

1. Three Eye Atlas Conspiracy Theory & The Origins of Mankind

(Starts ~01:26–07:58)

• An emailer throws “gas on the conspiracy fire” about photos of "Three Eye Atlas" possibly being withheld by NASA, leading the crew to riff on alien conspiracy theories and the origins of humanity.
• Holmberg’s theory: Humans are descendants of intergalactic exiles, dumped on Earth by advanced spacefaring aliens—an idea inspired by “Battlestar Galactica” and the "Australia as a prison colony" concept.
  • “We're Australia planets. They dumped us off and said, figure it out.” – Brett Vesely (04:03)
• Extended musing on how helpless modern humans would be if stripped of technology, forced to start from scratch.
• Suggestion that our recurring yearning for "going home" after death may be some ingrained, ancestral memory of not belonging on Earth.
  • “Why isn't this home? ... It's in your brain somewhere over years and years and years of knowing we're on the wrong place.” – Brett Vesely (06:53)
• The room agrees such heady talk is ultimately just fun, not fact—but Holmberg genuinely roots for a paradigm-shifting alien encounter.

2. Fun Facts & America’s Oldest Ally: Morocco

(09:23–11:01)

• Brady’s “Brady Report” segues to trivia:
  • 80% of U.S. currency is in $100 bills, mostly overseas.
  • America’s oldest ally is Morocco, which recognized the U.S. in December 1777—“early investing” as the hosts joke, comparing it to buying crypto before it was famous.
• The group playfully speculates on how that diplomatic decision in 1777 might have been pitched, with tongue-in-cheek jabs about “speculating” on a brand-new country.

3. Chinese Family Sues School Over Scary Movie

(12:43–15:49)

• A Chinese family sues their daughter's school, claiming a horror movie shown in class caused her "acute and transient psychotic disorder"; they seek $42,000 but ultimately receive ~$1,300.
  • The movie's title is withheld, leading to a round of speculative (and at times, stereotype-heavy) comedy.
  • “What movie caused a Chinese girl to go crazy?” – Brett Vesely (13:06)
  • “Is it 'The Ring,' Brady? ... We'll test it out on a few people in Portland and Seattle. … The World Series is in Toronto, there's Chinese there. We'll just put it up on the big dome.” – Brett Vesely (13:20)
• Running gags about Asian driving stereotypes and mathematical prowess—paired with both self-aware apologies and comic escalation.
  • "Stop. Or my mom will drive you to school." – Byron (15:49)

4. Accidental Gunfire at Walmart

(17:21–18:18)

• News: A man in North Carolina accidentally shoots himself while adjusting his handgun in a Walmart.
• The crew lampoons the lack of gun safety and the absurdity of “speeding off from a Walmart” as a phrase.
  • "That's the worst words I've ever heard in my life. Sped off from the Walmart. It gives me triggers." – Brett Vesely (18:12)

5. Dogs of Chernobyl: Thriving, Mutating, and Special

(20:06–24:39)

• Discussion of news about dogs at Chernobyl thriving nearly 40 years post-disaster.
  • Generations of wild dogs not only survive high radiation; their unique traits include apparent immunity to cancers.
  • The show marvels at speculation about plants with possible medical value.
  • “It's almost proof of Darwinism. … They’re mutations for real. … The actual animals are thriving.” – Brett Vesely (21:06–21:39)
• A comedic detour: Some of the famous “blue dogs” turn out to be blue from rolling in porta-potty fluid, not just mutations.
  • “Somebody dyed them. … Drinking the blue water.” – Brady (22:31)
  • “Well, that's better than the nukes, I guess. Way to go, Brady.” – Brett Vesely (22:42)

6. Weird World News: Pumpkins, Squirrels, and More

(24:45–28:56)

Florida Man Destroys Pumpkins

• 31-year-old smashes $500 worth of pumpkins outside a Target after a breakup. The hosts riff on his mugshot, joking he looks “like he’s from Chernobyl.”

World Record Pumpkins

• British twin brothers break record (after 50+ years of growing) for the largest pumpkin: 2,819 pounds and a circumference of 255.8 inches.
  • “Both probably still single ... now with this new record!” – Brett Vesely (25:54)
  • Musings on what to do with massive pumpkins—make pies? Feed pigs?

Texas Fat Squirrel Week

• Texas crowns "Chunkasaurus Rex" the state’s fattest squirrel, narrowly beating "Chunk Norris."
  • “All right, this is just funny names for fat squirrels.” – Brett Vesely (28:26)

7. "Brady Videos" Segment: Internet Oddities (Light Descriptions)

(28:37–34:54)

• The hosts describe a parade of bizarre, viral, or AI-generated videos:
  • Mutant subway passenger with a second mouth
  • AI-generated Kermit the Frog (black and green versions) in graphic scenarios
  • Electrocution incident (graphic)
  • Strip tease by an overweight “little person”
  • Woman in thong knees a naked man in the groin repeatedly
  • AI Kobe Bryant forced to wrestle a helicopter (grotesque AI humor)
• The hosts alternate between shock and mockery, riffing as the video parade gets steadily more uncomfortable.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Three Eye Atlas & Origins of Mankind

• “We’re Australia planets. … Dumped us off and said, figure it out.” – Brett Vesely (04:03)
• “Why isn't this home? … It's in your brain somewhere … of knowing we're on the wrong place.” – Brett Vesely (06:53)

Morocco’s Early Support

• “Morocco had a dude that was like crypto to Moroccans. I hear about this new country over there… that’s some early investing.” – Brett Vesely (10:40)

Chinese School Lawsuit Riff

• “What movie caused a Chinese girl to go crazy?” – Brett Vesely (13:06)
• “I'm going to show it in the sky. We're gonna bomb them with whatever it is. … Is it ‘The Ring’ Brady?” – Brett Vesely (13:20)

On Chernobyl’s Mutant Animals

• “They’re almost proof of Darwinism. … The bigger, stronger, and more healthy dogs survived.” – Brett Vesely (21:39)
• “Somebody dyed them … drinking the blue water.” – Brady (22:31)

Fat Squirrel Names

• “Chunkasaurus Rex. He barely beat out Chunk Norris.” – Byron (28:05)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Conspiracy/Origins of Man: 01:26–07:58
• Morocco US Ally, Currency Facts: 09:23–11:09
• Chinese Movie Lawsuit: 12:43–15:49
• Walmart Shooting Story: 17:21–18:18
• Chernobyl Dogs: 20:06–24:39
• Pumpkins, Squirrels, and Animal Oddities: 24:45–28:56
• Internet Video Parade: 28:37–34:54

Tone and Language

The episode keeps a loose, unfiltered, comedic tone with abrupt gear shifts between offbeat news, speculation, and irreverent punchlines. The hosts poke fun at just about everyone—including themselves—using sarcasm, exaggeration, and a healthy amount of off-color humor. Listeners should expect both laughs and occasional cringes, typical of the show’s edgy style.

For Listeners

This episode is for fans of wild speculation, dark comedy, and radio shock-jockery mixed with genuine curiosity about the world’s weirdest stories. If you didn’t catch it live, this summary brings you all the best (and strangest) moments—minus the ads!