Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (98KUPD) — Full Show Recap

Episode Date: October 29, 2025
Cast: John Holmberg (Host), Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick "Toledo" Toledo

Main Theme

This episode of “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness” is a classic blend of local Arizona pride, sharp-witted skepticism about pop culture fads, and the team’s signature irreverent humor as they dissect the absurdities of daily life, relationships, viral trends, and current events. The show swings from comedy riffs on women’s wellness retreats to real speculation about the mysterious '31 Atlas' asteroid, with plenty of sidetracks—ranging from yoga instructors to STDs in monkeys, marriage advice, and nerdy weddings.

Table of Contents

• Arizona Praise & Weather Superiority
• Sedona, Yoga Retreats & "Divorce Getaways"
• The "Vortex" Grift & Sedona Hippie Culture
• Relationship Red Flags and TikTok’s "Bird Theory"
• The Great "31 Atlas" Space Mystery
• Weddings, Fandom, & True Relationship Compatibility
• Chernobyl’s Mutant Dogs & Pumpkin Fever
• Trucker Tales: The Escaped STD Monkeys
• Memorable Quotes
• Select Timestamps for Key Segments

Arizona Praise & Weather Superiority

• [05:00–06:00] John kicks off the morning acknowledging Arizona’s “paradise” status—no hurricanes, tornadoes, or massive bugs. Riffs on how people ignore less-likable places hit by disaster (“We don’t care when Cuba gets smashed by hurricanes!”).
• [06:00+] Uses the metaphor of Camelback Mountain “getting up and walking around” to poke fun at places where people willingly live in disaster-prone areas:

  “Would you live here if every year, Camelback Mountain got up, walked around, and crushed half the town?” (06:00)

Sedona, Yoga Retreats & "Divorce Getaways"

• [07:00–12:00]
  • Holmberg skewers the phenomenon of women’s divorce yoga retreats to Sedona/Jamaica, especially during cheap hurricane season. Riffs on Sedona Jeep trail yoga meetings looking like “weird murder scenes.”
  • Explores parallels between men’s “get your groove back” trips (Vegas) and women’s (yoga, self-rediscovery).
  • Satirizes ex-husbands’ likely glee when their ex spends spousal money for self-healing retreats just to get caught in a hurricane (“He is whistling from his anus!” 08:42).
  • Bemoans what it would be like stuck in a Jamaica disaster shelter with reggae music, steel drums, and TikTok-ing yoga influencers.

The "Vortex" Grift & Sedona Hippie Culture

• [13:40–23:00]
  • Deep-dive on Sedona’s infamous “spiritual vortex” industry.
  • John lampoons the new-age economy (“Grifter’s paradise!”), mocking the “magical” marketing of geodes, feathers, and “energy alignments”:

    “It’s just pretty scenery with people selling you the lie—it has magical powers.” (19:14)

  • Discusses conversations with yoga women about how “you have to believe” in the power of the vortex, likening it to Tinkerbell.
  • Makes fun of the demographic: “White women, yoga has become an escape...they turn to rock power.”
  • Hilariously rants about how ‘energy fields’ are always in tourist spots, never “crap towns like Maryvale or Detroit.”

Relationship Red Flags and TikTok’s "Bird Theory"

• [27:50–37:50]
  • Brady brings up TikTok’s “Bird Theory” test—allegedly, if you tell your partner “I saw a bird today” and they don’t respond, your relationship’s doomed.
  • John ruthlessly mocks the premise:

    “That’s a terrible conversation starter. I see birds every day. Tell me if one has a cat.” (29:00)

  • Links this to the “magical object” trend (dreamcatchers, singing bowls) as indicators of marital malaise: “If there’s a geode in the house with alleged powers, she is so miserable she’s turned to rocks.”
  • Jokes that any marriage where someone plays singing bowls alone is “on the brink.”

The Great "31 Atlas" Space Mystery

• [49:40–60:00+]
  • The guys discuss “Comet 31 Atlas” (later clarified as “3I Atlas”), which some fringe scientists and UFO-hopefuls think could be an alien ship or artifact, especially if it changes course near the Sun today.
  • John roots for aliens to show up (“It could fix humanity!”), referencing Independence Day, Mars Attacks, and how only an outside threat will unite the planet:

    “Our focus would just… stop all this nonsense. We need a huge fish to fry.” (53:00)

  • Nostalgia for sci-fi: Jetsons, Mork & Mindy, Close Encounters. John pleads to “let a boy dream!”
  • A few listeners email in as “dream-crushers,” insisting it's just a comet.
  • John, undeterred, hopes for transformative contact or at least a shakeup from humanity’s rut.

Weddings, Fandom, & True Relationship Compatibility

• [71:50–84:00+]
  • Segment launches from Elijah Wood crashing a New Zealand ‘Shire’ wedding. The team gets philosophical about how only couples who BOTH want a “Lord of the Rings”–themed wedding are truly soulmates—no chance of divorce.
  • Applies the same logic to Star Wars, Disney, Harry Potter, and Renaissance Faire couples.
  • Jokes that “finding someone who wants a Lord of the Rings wedding” is nearly as rare as Frodo himself.
  • Spirals into the hypothetical: black Lord of the Rings cast, crossovers (“Lords in the Hood”).
  • “If you’re both into nerd weddings, you’re together forever. You won’t find another one!”

Chernobyl’s Mutant Dogs & Pumpkin Fever

• [111:13–117:36]
  • Reports on wild dogs thriving in Chernobyl—speculation on whether their blue coats come from radiation mutations or, less glamorously, rolling in nearby Porta Potty fluid.
  • Big pumpkin news: British twins break records for largest pumpkin (2,819 lbs) and circumference (21ft around).
  • Fat-squirrel competitions for Halloween, with tongue-in-cheek celebrations of “Chunkasaurus Rex.”

Trucker Tales: Escaped STD Monkeys

• [137:48–146:36+]
  • The team recounts an insane real news story: a semi full of “possibly AIDS-laden, herpes-infected” primates crashes en route from Tulane in Louisiana to Florida.
  • John wonders why we’re trucking disease monkeys cross-country at all (“Just test it on ASU students!”).
  • Imagines the horror of a Mississippi resident encountering a loose, powerful, possibly horny monkey; jokes that STD risk is not your first worry.
  • Skewers news coverage for not asking “the right questions”—mainly, WHY were these monkeys loaded up and driven anywhere?
  • “No one has ever looked outside and thought, if my wife sleeps with that, will I catch it?!”

Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• On Sedona yoga retreats:
  • "There's like seven of them just lying on rocks. It looked like a weird murder scene, some mass suicide." (05:56, John Holmberg)
• On ex-husbands and their ex-wife's yoga hurricanes:
  • “There's one dude—he is whistling from his anus—he is so happy she went to Jamaica to get her groove back and God's trying to kill her.” (08:42, John Holmberg)
• On Sedona’s vortexes:
  • “It's just a big shell game up there… How come vortexes are never in ugly places?” (19:14, John Holmberg)
• On TikTok’s ‘Bird Theory’:
  • “That’s a terrible conversation, by the way. I see (birds) every day—they’re everywhere.” (29:00, John Holmberg)
• On astrology vs. reality:
  • "You have to believe in it. Like, couldn't I do that anywhere? In my kitchen?" (18:37, Brett Vesely)
• On angry dream-crushers:
  • “You’re basically the guy in 1981 saying Mork isn’t real—yeah, I know, jackass! I just want to have fun.” (131:20, John Holmberg)
• On nerd weddings:
  • "If you both want a Lord of the Rings wedding—there is no chance of divorce. That’s a match made in Hobbiton." (75:00~ John Holmberg)
• On monkeys with STDs:
  • “No one has ever said—honey, look on the porch. Be careful, it might have warts! That's the least of your worries in Mississippi.” (141:25, John Holmberg)

Select Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening Arizona Riffs: 05:00–06:30
• Sedona, Divorce Yoga Retreat Satire: 05:30–10:00
• Vortex Grift/Crystals Discussion: 13:40–23:00
• Bird Theory & Relationship Red Flags: 27:50–37:50
• 3I Atlas/Asteroid Segment: 49:40–60:44 (Further through 60:00s)
• Elijah Wood/LOTR Wedding & Nerd Couples: 71:50–84:00
• Chernobyl Dogs & Giant Pumpkins: 111:13–117:36
• The Great Monkey Truck Crash: 137:48–146:36

Tone & Style Notes

• The tone is irreverent, self-aware, cynical yet playful.
• Holmberg leads discussions with quick, relentless sarcasm and pop-culture references.
• The gang isn’t afraid to roast themselves, listeners, each other, or the news media for credulity or gullibility.
• Segments spiral from relevant news into deep-dive satire, social commentary, and meta-humor.

Conclusion

Classic “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness”—equal parts Arizona pride, social skepticism, and unfiltered comedy. Whether you’re interested in Sedona’s latest scam, the future of humanity in the cosmos, or just want to laugh about why anyone would ship STD-infected monkeys across America, there’s a belly laugh (and a sharp jab) for every listener.