10-29-25 - No Matter How Much Fun You Have w/Alien Asteroids Some Wet Blanket Listener Will Stomp On It - Truckload Of Diseased Monkeys Wrecks On Mississippi Highway - Tillman Vet Charity Event

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – “No Matter How Much Fun You Have w/Alien Asteroids, Some Wet Blanket Listener Will Stomp On It”

Date: October 29, 2025
Host & Crew: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo, Byron

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Overview

In this lively episode, John Holmberg and his crew take listeners through a blend of playful speculation about alien visitation, cultural nostalgia from the ’70s and ’80s, local news oddities involving escaped, allegedly diseased monkeys, and a note on a local veterans’ charity event. With their signature irreverence and banter, the hosts muse over why some people just have to rain on imaginative fun, poke fun at current events, and encourage support for good causes—all while keeping the energy light, comedic, and occasionally absurd.

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Main Discussion & Key Segments

1. Childlike Wonder vs. The Wet Blanket Listeners

(01:33–09:08)

• John Holmberg shares his frustration with listeners who shut down playful talk about alien invasions, referencing the current comet/asteroid “Three Eye Atlas” and people’s tendency to “stomp on a boy’s dreams.”
  • Quote [02:22] John: “Imagine, get all the visitors and we wouldn’t know. And we’d learn something from them. And it would be awesome.”
• Holmberg reminisces about growing up with space-centric pop culture—the likes of Close Encounters, Last Starfighter, The Jetsons, Mork and Mindy—lamenting that somewhere, adults lost the ability to just hope for the fantastic.
  • Quote [06:11] John: “We were promised this. That was a hit show in the ‘70s, hit, smash hit. Nobody thought to themselves, this is stupid. This wouldn’t happen. What happened to us?”
• He affectionately mocks the skeptics and self-appointed “Captain Corrector” types, playfully wishing for aliens to drop in for some “snacks” or breakthrough medicine (like a kidney cure).
• Comedy escalates with riffs on famous TV aliens (Mork, ALF, Lilu from The Fifth Element), imagining their arrival and poking fun at how such discussions generate a flurry of corrections from earnest (but fun-squelching) audience members.
  • Quote [07:13] John: “Shazbot. Kids, people were saying Shazbot. They invented a thing. Shazbot…That was what he said when he was happy and sad. It was like the ‘dude’ of Ork. Mork from Ork.”

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2. Monkey Business: Truckload of Diseased Primates Escapes in Mississippi

(09:08–22:00)

• Transitioning from speculative aliens to bizarre realities, Holmberg covers a news story about a truck accident in Mississippi that released monkeys—initially reported as carrying STDs like hepatitis, herpes, and COVID—from a Tulane University shipment bound for a Florida testing lab.
  • Quote [13:06] John: “I don't even know what the difference between an ape and a monkey…I just know that a monkey with an STD running around shouldn't be hauling around in the back of a tractor trailer going from state to state.”
• The group mocks the convoluted logistics of moving diseased primates, wonders why these animal tests are necessary, and jests about the dangers of rogue monkeys more than the diseases themselves.
  • Quote [15:44] John: “Are you worried about the STDs at all? Or are you more worried about monkey strength? I'm not really worried about having sex with one.”
  • Quote [16:08] John: “Just being near a monkey, it can rape you. You're gonna lose the power battle. I'm more worried that my head's gonna get torn off than I am about the bumps.”
• They lampoon local news coverage, the absurd (and potentially dangerous) premise of STD-laden animals on the loose, and compare the situation to pop culture (Outbreak, “AIDS monkeys”) and American or global disease panic.
• Ultimately, they point out the news cycle’s neglect of basic questions (“Why are we even transporting these monkeys?”), and riff on how this reality is weirder (and dumber) than extraterrestrial hypotheticals.
  • Quote [21:04] John: “It was the dumbest story I’ve ever seen because not one reporter said, why were you doing this? Why did the truck driver think they were AIDS riddled monkeys?”

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3. Listener Emails & Community Events

(23:57–28:59)

• Holmberg reads listener emails responding to the show, including appreciation for bits like the “three-minute smoker” gag and requests for more running jokes (like “orgasmic Brady” in the upcoming Friday squares).
• Spotlight on a listener-promoted charity event: The Pat Tillman ASU Veterans Center and the Dode Morris VFW Post 1760 charity event for veteran grad student scholarships (Saturday, 12–8 pm, Mesa). Holmberg praises the cause and commits to promoting it, emphasizing the importance of supporting veterans.
  • Quote [25:10] John: “Vets should get more help than almost anybody else, I think. And the Pat Tillman Veterans Center does awesome work."
• The usual banter continues—joking about Mesa being “riddled with little STDs,” and fielding emails about why the “Happy National ___ Day” segment has been spotty.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• [02:22] John Holmberg: “Imagine, get all the visitors and we wouldn’t know. And we’d learn something from them. And it would be awesome.”
• [06:11] John Holmberg: “What happened to us? Nobody was emailing back in the days of like, hey, did you see Mork and Mindy last night? You get a note from a guy in your school? You know it could never happen. Why do we do this to each other?”
• [13:06] John Holmberg: “I just know that a monkey with an STD running around shouldn’t be hauling around in the back of a tractor trailer going from state to state.”
• [16:08] John Holmberg: “Just being near a monkey, it can rape you. You're gonna lose the power battle. I'm more worried that my head's gonna get torn off than I am about the bumps.”
• [21:04] John Holmberg: “It was the dumbest story I’ve ever seen because not one reporter said, why were you doing this? Why did the truck driver think they were AIDS riddled monkeys?”
• [25:10] John Holmberg: “Vets should get more help than almost anybody else, I think. And the Pat Tillman Veterans Center does awesome work.”

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Important Timestamps

• 01:33–09:08 – Open discussion about aliens, pop culture nostalgia, and playful dreaming vs. instant skepticism
• 09:08–22:00 – Deep dive into the “STD monkey truck crash” story and all its goofy, troubling implications
• 23:57–28:59 – Listener feedback, event shout-outs (Tillman Veteran charity), and community chat

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Tone & Style

• The show is conversational, irreverently funny, and peppered with cultural references, sharp asides, and gentle mockery—both self-directed and toward the news cycle/critics. Holmberg’s style blends childlike wonder with pointed sarcasm, backed by a fast-talking, bantering crew.

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In Summary

This episode is a signature blend of silly, sharply satirical morning radio:

• Imagining alien intervention with nostalgia and humor
• Skewering killjoys and overcorrectors
• Turning absurd local news into comedic gold
• Spotlighting meaningful Arizona community events

If you want to laugh about why adults take themselves too seriously, marvel at the insanity of American news, and support a good cause, this episode delivers.

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Charity Event Mentioned:
Pat Tillman ASU Veterans Center & Dode Morris VFW Post 1760
Veteran Graduate Student Scholarship Fundraiser
Saturday, 12pm–8pm | 65 S. McDonald, Mesa, AZ

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Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Co-host or Caller]

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[John Holmberg]

The old method of treatment for a.

[Announcer or Promo Voice]

Person in this condition was to throw him in J.

[John Holmberg]

Couple more minutes, you can throw the word tap in on your glorious taking the promotional box for 8 o' clock and maybe win a thousand bucks from your friends here at 98. Got to tell you boys. Oh, try to have some fun and dream about alien invasion. And I don't know what blankets start showing up on your email.

[Co-host or Caller]

A lot of sticks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, planted people like. So you think aliens are gonna stop by and ask us unintelligent monkeys for directions? I know, but I mean, if they did, wouldn't it be awesome? That's. You're just killing a boy's dreams. That's all you remember at the end of Pee Wee Herman when he could fly. That's how I feel. You're wrecking it. Yes. I would love to be a space truck stop. I think that would be incredibly cool. In my lifetime.

[Brett Vesely]

The buckies of space.

[John Holmberg]

Basically, yes. Imagine get all the visitors and we wouldn't know. And we'd learn something from them. And it would be awesome to have, like, them go, hey, we just stopped off for a couple minutes, see what you're about. And like, cool. You guys want some snacks? Next thing you know, they come by every once in a while. They give us platinum plus Mr.

[Co-host or Caller]

Stick up your ass. You don't know anymore.

[John Holmberg]

This is you being worse. This is these lib cucks. They can't communicate. They just get mad at everything. I'm not mad at them. Just saying you're killing a boy's dream. I don't know. I don't. I'm not saying it's going to happen. I'm not saying I believe it. I'm saying I want it to. I don't know if Three Eye Atlas is the thing, but I want it to be. And I know you can send me Professor Loeb's assessment of how. It's just a meter. I know. I'm not saying I believe it. I'm saying I wish it is. This guy says, sir, I find you brilliant on many subjects, but even you admit you're an idiot when it comes to astrophysics. First, sorry to be Captain Corrector, but Three Eye Atlas, it's a comet. Today is just the day it will be closest to the Sun. December 19, 2025. Six days before Christmas, it will get its closest distance from Earth. That will be the time if something happens. But nothing will happen. This is as bad as religious end of the world people, or getting your hopes up. Loeb's viral claims, lack of evidence. The astronomy experts are not. Yeah, I get it. You guys aren't hearing me. I want aliens to come here. I want that to be a thing. Something crazy from space would be. Now, you got to remember, I'm a child of the 70s and 80s. All I've seen growing up was that they're coming, they're on their way. One of the first movies I remember is Close Encounters. Like, is this going to happen? My dad's like, that's crazy. Are you sure? My dad was a child of the 50s, which, like, I don't know, maybe he knew that the space spaceships started to show up in movies, like, early. We've been thinking about this forever. And so all these movies that got so Last Starfighter. I went to the theater to see the Last Starfighter. They're gonna remake that. I like space stuff. The Jetsons were around in the 60s. Can we get to it already? Let's get one down here. I'm rooting for. You're not probably rooting for it. Do you care? They got a kidney, you know. Yeah, exactly. We gotta do. Maybe they got a cure for A K disease.

[Co-host or Caller]

Can just touch you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Yes. What seems to be your ailment besides appetite? That was rude. I have a bad kidney. Hey, how about that? You think Gloric is gonna come down and touch me? There's a guy named Glark, and he's actually gonna fix Brady's. Kidneys are as dangerous as the religious wackos. I'm not saying it's gonna happen.

[Co-host or Caller]

Try this. Three Minute Smoker.

[John Holmberg]

What? Oh, my God. There we go.

[Co-host or Caller]

Why do I gotta wait three minutes?

[John Holmberg]

This is what you would hear. I am Clark, and I am here to sell you the green egg of space. And you hear birdie going, what is wrong with you? I'm sorry. I'm on my legs. Gross. Get him away from the kitchen. We're going to get a health report. Three minutes. Brisket in three minutes. You've got bad kidneys. You don't need this type of protein. Set it and forget it for three minutes. You forget in three minutes. You got Alzheimer's too. Maybe you can cure that.

[Brett Vesely]

I say bring on Mork. He seemed like a fun guy.

[John Holmberg]

Mork was a blast. Look at that breath. Brings up another thing that we were promised. Funny aliens. Oh, here I am. I came in an egg. Oh, it's wonderful. As my friend Jonathan Winters. He's going to be my son ages backwards. His name is Mirth.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe we get to see Orson finally.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I mean, we could be in the room. Mark calling Orson. Come in, Orson. We were promised this. That was a hit show in the 70s. Hit, smash hit. Nobody thought to themselves, this is stupid. This wouldn't happen. But what happened to us? Nobody was emailing back in the days of like, hey, did you see Morgan Mindy last night? You get a note from a guy in your school? You know it could never happen. Why do we do this to each other? Of course, Mort. Could never happen. Jackasses. Why do you tell me that? Can I be happy wishing more could happen? Whatever. Dream Eggs can't fly aerodynamically. There's no way to jetpack. You just put it on the rock. Yeah, but it's special. It's a special Space egg. We have that we gotta burn up in the atmosphere. You're the worst person I know. You are. You are a guy. Every time you write to me and tell me that my dreams of aliens coming here is not going to happen, you're basically a guy writing me a note in 1981 saying, you know Mark isn't real. Like, yeah, I know, you jackass. Having fun.

[Co-host or Caller]

Dexter says, I have a shirt for that guy. To this day still says Shaz Bot.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, Shazbot. Kids, people were saying shaz Bot. They invented a thing. Shazbot. Like, you did it all the time. We were promised. Thought about that. Now it's going to be in your head for like. But you know what? It's 50 years old and you're still like, oh, yeah, she has bought. That was great. That was what he said when he was happy and sad. It was like the dude of. Of Orc. Mork from Orc. It's not possible. The suit he wears is. It's like, burn up in the atmosphere too. And why does he look like us? I mean, if it's the same thing, same DNA, he's like, why are you thinking about this so much? A jackass on the radio just said, gosh, I hope that's real. And you guys shot back with more, can't happen. Why? Why?

[Co-host or Caller]

Next thing you know, I gotta start worrying about my cats because the guy with a big nose is coming down.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. And you're not talking about me right there, are you? You didn't say, yeah, I will eat your. Yeah, ALF was awesome, too. Hey, Willie. And the Ocmonics didn't know and he had to hide him and he was willing to be part of it, and he was awesome. Where was Al from? Yeah, Melmacian. Oh, I love that. You know, else can't happen. Oh, Christ. Wouldn't it be great, though, if that Three Eye Atlas thing, We were wrong and it did make a left. Started to come towards us and it was alf. And he's as fun as that. As Gordon Shumway was back in the 80s. You're like, I got one. I got an Alfred. We'd breed them. Be great.

[Co-host or Caller]

So that guy can't even conceive that there's a Mila Jovovich out there. Lilu Dallas coming.

[John Holmberg]

I forgot about her. That was in. What was that? Five something. That's right. Yeah. Great stuff. Here we go.

[Co-host or Caller]

Alien Trump has now joined the show.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I'd love that. If Al came down, I'd make ALF part of the cabinet. People drive the Democrats crazy. Drive him crazy. My DEI program confirm him. Didn't give a job to a trans or a black. I gave it to an alien. And I know you guys think I hit him, but no ice for alf. I say meanwhile we got this going on. Where did you see that ape escape yesterday? Where they thought it had herpes.

[Co-host or Caller]

Monkeys.

[John Holmberg]

It says ape escape. Hunt for a primate.

[Byron]

See?

[John Holmberg]

Don't do it. Now you're doing it.

[Byron]

They're lab.

[John Holmberg]

Who cares? It's a. Yeah, now you're doing it. That can never happen either way. Primates escaped from someplace and they thought they had STDs. And nobody's asking how'd they get those? Did we give them STDs? We still do that. We still got a whole facility somewhere where we're giving them the virus in Mississippi where apes get STDs and they're still like you. It doesn't make them less strong and give them herpes. We got people with that test them.

[Co-host or Caller]

Yeah, I see ads for them all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Every time I try to watch a sporting event, 40 ads for what's wrong with you comes on. We don't need the primates anymore to test on herpes. We've got using as many just 15. We've got ASU Brady. We don't need apes for that. We've got primates over at ASU loaded with herpes. Test them. A hostile STD carrying monkey busted loose from a large truck hauling primates after the semi flipped over the wreck. The wreck went down Tuesday and the truck containing several monkeys infected with hep C herpes and Covid crashed going from Tulane University to a Florida testing lab. Why are they moving them? Well, they load a sick monkeys in the back of the truck. Let's go.

[Co-host or Caller]

Coordinated government program.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Co-host or Caller]

Why are we driving crash the truck.

[John Holmberg]

Two lane to Florida with infected monkeys. We can't just infect some monkeys in Florida.

[Co-host or Caller]

Time to get rid of Alabama.

[John Holmberg]

This was going to happen.

[Co-host or Caller]

I had heard that they were not. That was.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. It turned out later they weren't. It was false information. They were texting. They were going to inject them. Okay.

[Co-host or Caller]

Bottom line, they weren't infected. Or they were. They were not.

[John Holmberg]

We're not. Turned out they weren't. They were worried when they escaped the.

[Co-host or Caller]

Lead on all the news last night.

[John Holmberg]

So here's the other thing. No one was really sure which monkeys these were.

[Brett Vesely]

They all look alike.

[John Holmberg]

That came across really rude. But he's not wrong. He's not wrong. It's true. You can't say those kind of things. But he's right. It's John Holmberg here. For my friends at FanDuel, the greatest thing ever to hit sports since sports itself in the NFL. The Sundays are here now. They're making it even better because this week FanDuel is bringing the bonus. That's right. Right now, all customers can get 50% profit boost on any NFL bet. However you play your game, FanDuel's got your back with something extra in your account. Visit fanduel.com kupd and download the app and get in on the action before kickoff from our friends at FanDuel21+ and present in Arizona. Opt in required bonus issued is non withdrawable profit boost tokens restrictions applied including any token expiration and max wager amount. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next to 533-42.

[Announcer or Promo Voice]

All right, HMS Podcast. Time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week downtown at Stand Up Live, you've got Moshe Kasher and the pride of Jacksonville, Florida, Lil Duvall performing Desert Ridge up north features the very funny Hans Kim. And Eastside at the Tempe Improv has two entertaining comedians with Alvin Kawhi and Basim Yousef. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know what the difference between an ape and a monkey. I know because it's Brett. It made me laugh. No, no, no, no. I know what you're saying. You're not wrong. But it isn't that. You're talking about chimpanzees. I don't know the difference, Brady. I know there's a difference. Let's not get back to the Mork argument. I just don't care to, like, dive in. I just know that a. A monkey with an STD running around shouldn't be hauling around in the back of a tractor trailer going from state to state.

[Co-host or Caller]

Monkey with an std?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, more of an album. The truck driver was the one who told the cops. Pretty sure what I got back there, it's a bunch of STD monkeys. Like, what? Why are you doing this?

[Co-host or Caller]

Here's my bill of lady.

[John Holmberg]

Look, I'm telling you is a good paying job. They loaded it up. I said, what's in there? They said, monkeys. I'm like, that's different. Wait, you heard the best part. They're full of STDs.

[Announcer or Promo Voice]

Be careful.

[John Holmberg]

You know, they started AIDS and I said to myself, why do you want me to drive them to Florida? And they said, just do it. So I did. I made a mistake and I jackknifed. And monkeys are everywhere. I'm not one of your more qualified drivers. Which is why I had to take this job in the first place. Yeah, I don't get it. I don't get why we're doing that. Why can't we study at Tulane, what we studied in Florida. And why do we have to drive them there? They don't have that in Florida.

[Co-host or Caller]

What else was in that truck?

[John Holmberg]

No, you think they're doing some like.

[Co-host or Caller]

15 monkeys in a semi?

[John Holmberg]

That's a lot of room.

[Brett Vesely]

Are they apes or monkeys? We don't even know.

[John Holmberg]

Well, this said apes.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

But then they said a few of them were clarified.

[Co-host or Caller]

They said aggressive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they said aggressive monkeys had run away. So the story is like just playing with it too. They don't care. But nobody's.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know either.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody's asking the right questions. Why do we have STD laden primates being transported across state lines like Brady's taking a teen over to San Diego? It's not as simple as that. They said. Now, they made the report last night that Jasper County Sheriff's Department in Mississippi says now all the escaped monkeys are disease free, which is convenient. And I don't know why we're worried about that.

[Co-host or Caller]

And there's one still missing.

[John Holmberg]

Let me ask you this, Brady, if you're on the road. Yeah. Or let's say you live in Jasper. I don't like to hear about the monkeys. Yeah. Hold on. Are you worried about the STDs at all? Are you more worried about monkey strength? I'm not really worried about having sex with one.

[Co-host or Caller]

Right. You're not worried about getting raped by.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, I am a little bit, but I think a lot worse stuff's gonna happen during the rape than just.

[Co-host or Caller]

Put yourself in a situation where a monkey can rape you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, look, just being near a monkey, it can rape you. You're gonna lose the power battle. I'm more worried that my head's gonna get torn off than I am about the bumps. And then I'm gonna start suing people.

[Co-host or Caller]

Well, the guy lost his face.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm gonna start suing everybody if I get an STD from a rogue transported monkey. There's a lot of people that are on the hook for this and My question basically is Tulane University. Why? You're a university. Do you know how many STDs you have just walking from class to class? Why are we harming animals with these things anyway? They said they took the appropriate actions and I'm just not concerned about. Why are we even saying. It's enough to do a news story to say, hey, we got a bunch of primates got out of a truck. Be careful. You don't have to tell me. They're also herpetic. They got that. They got the herpes in the warts. The monkeys do. Yeah. Be careful. I don't care about that. No one's ever said that. Honey, look on the porch. What is it? I think it's a monkey. Be careful. It might have warts. Like what? That's the least of your concerns. Is the absolute least of your worries. It might have an std. I know what you're thinking. You don't sleep with it.

[Co-host or Caller]

You gotta initially test the skyrizi on somebody.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you don't. You shove it in somebody who's willing to take it. If I had hiv, and they're like, we might have something like, put it in. Like, no, no, no. It's just put it in. What are the side effects? Well, you'll end up more hiv. I've already got it. Can't give me more. Go, go, go, go. I would volunteer for the cure for all that stuff. If I had incurable warts and I go to the doctor and I'm like, there is this test. We were going to use it on Monk. Do it on me. I'm the next best thing. So much like us, we've all seen the movie. Just so close. Put it. Here's a vein. I'm good. I'm vascular. Knock it out. We're not sure exactly how the reaction is going to be, so the best thing to do is to put that into a thing 30 times stronger than us.

[Co-host or Caller]

I like how the trucker has no.

[John Holmberg]

Idea I got some AIDS monkeys in there. Well, I have to let you know that these things may be just laden with the aids. The monkeys? Yep. What were you doing? That's what I heard. I do not know why I just drive. The truck driver had to be the first one on the scene. What happened here?

[Byron]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

They started getting out of hand. Truck started shaking around back there and I just lost it.

[Brett Vesely]

Somebody said, by the way, Hoffman.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's outbreak. Yeah. No, no doubt.

[Co-host or Caller]

Cletus, don't jackknife the truck or crash.

[John Holmberg]

Just Go slow, Cletus riddled. Go like 30 miles an hour. Put. Put your flashes on as much time as you need to take. You are not on a deadline. If they start getting wobbly, pull over because that thing will still tip it over. Last thing we need is these AIDS infested monkeys running around Mississippi. And wherever Tulane is.

[Co-host or Caller]

Please tell me Mississippi has a local news person, Griselda Saltino, on the scene.

[John Holmberg]

Griselda Saltino, Katie I R News. The search for the AIDS monkeys is on it too. Lame. Like, what did she say?

[Brett Vesely]

Send Jim Cross out there, the expert of everything else. Why not this too?

[John Holmberg]

Our AIDS monkey expert, Jim Cross is out there. Yeah, Jim, I'm out here looking for AIDS monkeys. And yeah, Earth's pretty much coming to an end right now. I don't know what the hell we're thinking here. Now talk to the truck driver. He's an absolute moron. Jim Cross. Go yourself. KTAR News. Yeah, I don't understand it, but nobody's ever looked outside, seen a monkey, and wondered, if my wife has sex with that, am I gonna catch it? I'm worried more about the incredible power of monkey. That's why they keep them in cages. Brady, you can't go to the zoo and just hang out with them. Like, date them. We're not worried about their STDs. Isn't this what China did to start Covid start screwing around at wet markets and it's essentially the same thing. We just crashed a bunch of diseased animals and they floated around. Where's Tulane? New Orleans, something like that? Yeah, Louisiana.

[Brett Vesely]

It's gonna be the Mississippi flu now.

[John Holmberg]

So the Chinese flu, the Tulane flu. Whoops. Sorry about that world.

[Co-host or Caller]

You guys don't see it? Set up for the next Skyrizi commercial.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, truck driver's like, whoa, Nelly. Things start spinning out. How would you like to be the guy behind that truck, too? Geez, that truck's losing it and just ape shoot out of it like a video game. Like, I cannot believe what I just. You'd call immediately. Brett, I'm on the freeway. Listen. Yeah, no, I know you're busy. Said I was driving along and a truck in front of me crashed. No, no, no, hold on. I'm not done. Out of the back of the truck, monkeys with, like, sores on their penises got out. They're everywhere. I didn't go to help because, I mean, they're monkeys, man. But. No, no, no, Brad, I'm not gonna. No, I'm not gonna do that. I'm just gonna. I'M gonna wait for the cops to come and I'm gonna turn around. I'm gonna u turn, get out of here.

[Brett Vesely]

Op live shows.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Hey, age monkeys run around in Hazen County. We catch them anyway, it was the dumbest story I've ever seen because not one reporter said, why were you doing this? Like, why would. Why did the truck driver think they were AIDS riddled monkeys? Why? And then later they had to clear it up. They don't have aids. Truck driver was crazy. That means they've got loads of aids, like skin AIDS and stuff. If you happen to see one in your trash, just load it full of lead for us, please, because. And then don't touch the blood. You tell me that's better than aliens shooting by and just say, hey, what are you guys up to? Well, currently we're on lockdown. We got a bunch of AIDS monkeys. All right, we're gonna take off. Thanks for the gas. Oh, the H monkey scared the three eye atlas guys.

[Co-host or Caller]

Thanks for the drive by.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it could never happen. Chances are they wouldn't speak English and the monkeys would have been caught by now. Thanks, Eaton. Anyway, just my observations of the world. I'm sure people will email me with the.

[Co-host or Caller]

Oh, they will. They already are.

[John Holmberg]

I'm positive. I don't care. It's fun. Benjamin's is the 9am word. Benjamin's as in Franklin. Benjamin's with an S. That is the word for nine o'. Clock. You can take it in the app at nine with Benjamin's, put it in there and qualify again for that thousand dollars. All you got to do is put the word in each code box, each hour we give it to you. And each time you do that, you're in the, you know, drawing again. So more and more you do it, the more and more chances are you're going to win a thousand bucks. How's about that? You guys are blowing this game up, by the way. As silly as this thing is and as kind of dumb as I think it is, it works. But go get them. You get your thousand bucks. I like giving money away. I have no problem with that. I just kind of think it's dopey. So you got Benjamin's as your word. We got rock wars coming up a little bit. It's 98.

[Announcer or Promo Voice]

Morning sickness, 28K. All right, HMS podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. For the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com Desert Ridge improv.com and tempeimprov.com hey, it's Larry McFeely.

[Byron]

And if you live in Arizona, you already know this state was built for Toyota. Whether you're chasing the sunrise up in Sedona, cruising through downtown Phoenix, or my favorite, camping in the forest, there's a Toyota that fits your kind of adventure. The Tacoma and Tundra are rugged and reliable for desert trails. The Camry is smooth, efficient and perfect for your daily drive. And the four Runner is Arizona's off road legend. Wherever the Arizona road takes you, make sure you're driving a Toyota. Visit your Valley Toyota Dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com Toyota Let's Go Places Holmberg's Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Emails bound Somebody says, first off, thank you. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. An impression of Brady. Hearing that there may be a three minute smoker was hilarious. Please, please, please put orgasmic Brady in the squares Friday. Thank you for being the best part of my morning, Sir Michael Ariano. Thank you, Michael, for tagging along with us. Hanging out at any time. Brady's all over himself. It's funny. Ask Ronnie. Oh, oh, here we go. Ow.

[Byron]

Sorry. Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

Do you say that all the time?

[Byron]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sorry. Jesus. Yahweh. The tears followed by immediate sleep. No. Yeah, and Yahweh would be a great one to scream. See if you could throw the girl off. Oh, oh, Yahweh. Did you say Yahtzee?

[Co-host or Caller]

No, not yet.

[John Holmberg]

I said Yahweh. Plug it up. And before I get on with anything else, I want to let. Oh, by the way, the word is Benjamin's nine o'. Clock. He's still got some time to qualify.

[Brett Vesely]

No apostrophe.

[John Holmberg]

No apostrophe.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, some people are hitting me up.

[John Holmberg]

It's not working.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm like, take the apostrophe out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, apostrophe is the ownership of Benjamin is not what we're looking for. Benjamin's, which would also kind of go out. Benjamin's. This one says, john, I may have jumped the gun with an earlier email being passionate towards you. I hope you'll forgive my enthusiasm. This person had sent me something before, evidently I didn't read. Says, I know when you're passionate about something, you just can't help yourself. And that's me. I'm passionate about veterans and I've got a sneaking suspicion you have a soft spot for them as well. Maybe I'm wrong, but I am not. I know I'm right. And this might be the first time that a woman can confidently claim she's right and actually have it be true. All right. There's a woman I like says I'm an OG beggar. I've been listening to you since 04, imploring you to lend the power of your voice and show to a good cause. This Saturday, The Pat Tillman ASU Veterans center is helping the Dode Morris VFW Post 1760 raise money for the Veteran Graduate Student Scholarship Program, which awards scholarships to worthy service members pursuing graduate degrees. There's going to be food and music and activities for the kids. Gonna be a family event. However, we don't expect to see you there since it's the day after the Night of the Singing Dead. Worse still than that as I couldn't go because I have an event going anyway. So I got to do Night of the Singing Dead Friday and then Saturday I'm hosting the Sit Stay brunch for Lost Our Home Pet Rescue at the Monte Lucia. But this is also something that's worthy, so I want to give him credit since I know you're going to be recovering from your event on Friday, which I bet will be a banger. And ours is in downtown Mesa and So there'll be STDs running everywhere. Two things I know you love loathe. I know the only one thing that would entice you to wade through a street full of STDs and their parents is in Mesa. It would be Dua Lipa. And I sent her an invitation to this. She has yet to respond by the cutoff date, so I guess she's not going to make it. I'm sorry. I really wanted you to be there. The event will be sick. Even though I couldn't secure an appearance by do. I hope you'll find it in your heart to tell listeners so we can get people out there to show support for this great cause. It's Saturday 12 to 8. That's a long day. Guys are doing an all day sucker and it's gonna be perfect weather too. 65 South McDonald MacDonald in Mesa. Thank you in advance, Carrie. A real beggar it is. We can put this up on the website. She sent me a thing so I think that's great. So if you guys are doing something over there in Mesa like that scholarship fundraising event for veteran graduate students. Vets should get more help than almost anybody else I think. And the Pat Tillman Veterans center is do awesome work. So yeah, with Veterans Day right around the corner, I think this is a beautiful thing you're doing on Saturday from 12 to 8. Even if it is riddled with little STDs and their bibs and their screaming, their parents not paying any attention. And even though it is in Mesa where STDs thrive, screaming and yelling about their school and their nonsense and their tot and I want candy. And it's for a good cause, so it's worth wading through that. So we'll put that info on our Facebook page. And of course, Carrie, I'm there for you. Somebody also asked Brady, how come you haven't done Happy National Blank Day in the last couple of Brady reports? Rather not any. It was a National Internet Day today. Yeah, I don't think you said so. Did you? I didn't catch it says tell Pop Pop to get back on that. We enjoy it as listeners and it spurs great conversation. People like that evidently. Most of the time it's like pancakes, pizza or hamburgers and it kind of recycles. But.

[Co-host or Caller]

We go down all the pizzas. It's National Cheese Pizza Day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just toppings though.

[Co-host or Caller]

It should be just the topping.

[John Holmberg]

We'll figure that out. We got a Rock wars coming up in just a little bit. I'm gonna be the one giving the topic, so I'll tell you what that is in just moments. There you go. It's 98. Benjamin's is still the word for the code. At 9 o' clock we'll have the Rock wars coming up.

[Co-host or Caller]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.

[Byron]

Listen up Arizona, it's Larry McFeely and Toyota Thon is on. If you've been thinking about a new ride before the holidays, this is the perfect time to make it happen. Toyota's got you guys covered while you're hauling gifts throughout the valley in your brand new Toyota Tundra Tacoma, 4Runner or Camry. Toyotas are built for Arizona life. Tough enough for the trails, comfortable enough for road trips, and always right for your daily drive. Plus, with ToyotaCare, no cost, maintenance and roadside assistance, your new Toyota is the gift that keeps giving. Visit your Valley Toyota Dealer or valleytoyotadeealers.com Toyota Let's Go Places men.

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