10-29-25 - Scientists Keeping Track On New Asteroid 31 Atlas They Think Could Be Alien Spacecraft - Elijah Wood Showed Up To A LOTR Wedding As We Argue That Couple Found Their Exact Perfect Match

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 10-29-25 – Scientists Tracking New Asteroid "31 Atlas" (aka 3I Atlas) / Elijah Wood at LOTR Wedding

Date: October 29, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Theme:
A lively, comedic take on current news and pop culture: the team unpacks the mystery of asteroid "31 Atlas" (possibly alien!), muses about what it would take to unite humanity (spoiler: aliens), and riffs on Elijah Wood's surprise appearance at a Lord of the Rings-themed wedding—while poking fun at fandom, relationships, and their own lives.

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Main Topics & Key Discussion Points

1. The Mystery of "31 Atlas"/"3I Atlas"

What is 31 Atlas? (03:02–11:00)

• Background: The hosts discuss a new asteroid/comet, dubbed 31 Atlas (corrected later as 3I Atlas), that has generated excitement and speculation among scientists and the public.

  • John had heard about it from a friend, Dr. Jeff, and from listener emails.
  • NASA and experts are uncertain if it’s a natural object, spacecraft, or even a "message in a bottle" artifact.
  • Some scientists theorize it could be an alien probe.

• Strange Movement:

  • The object has changed trajectory a few times and doesn’t follow known orbital patterns. (05:00–06:00)
  • Theoretical physicists suggest it could make an intentional course correction, indicating it’s not just a rock in space.

The Hope (and Fear) of Contact (07:00–11:00)

• Hosts’ Takes:

  • John roots for a course change and possible alien encounter to "shake things up" and unite humanity.
    • Quote: “Let’s be honest with ourselves… Everything stupid would stop. All this nonsense would end. We’d be like, ‘We got a huge fish to fry and it’s coming towards us!’” – John, (08:46)
  • Brady shares the nerdy space details, like the term "perihelion"—the object’s closest approach to the sun.

• Pop Culture References:

  • John and team reference "Independence Day" and "Mars Attacks," imagining a global response to a real alien arrival.

• Philosophical Angle

  • Humanity is so divided; only an external existential threat might bring us together.
    • “The only thing that will unite humanity is a threat from somewhere else, from off the planet.” – John, (08:06)
  • John is oddly excited for possible apocalypse scenarios, seeing them as "awesome and uniting."

Scientific and Skeptical View (15:30–18:00)

• Origin:

  • 31 Atlas appeared suddenly in a well-monitored part of space, perplexing astronomers (15:00).
  • It's only the third such interstellar object tracked (“It’s only the third one we’ve ever seen.” – Brady, 15:39).

• Disappearance:

  • The object disappeared from view for a month as it looped around the sun, and its trajectory won’t be confirmed until it emerges at Christmas.

Conspiracy and Satire (19:13–22:00)

• Listener Emails:
  • Some speculate 31 Atlas is media-driven "fake news fear porn" to manufacture global unity (19:20).
  • John riffs on the idea that aliens or apocalypse could replace religion as the opiate for the masses.

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2. Life, Death, and Watching for Something Big (13:36–18:00)

• John’s Dream:

  • At 53, John reflects on how much longer his "movie" (life) will run, and how he wishes for a dramatic, history-making event to experience—for excitement and meaning.
    • Quote: “I would like that kind of altering moment… I’d like something to happen that makes it awesome.” (13:36)

• Personal Stories:

  • John shares a touching listener tribute to a beloved pit bull, Ellie, who’d just passed—reminding listeners to consider adopting rescue dogs (02:30–03:00).

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3. Lord of the Rings Weddings and Fandom Soulmates (27:25–38:00)

Elijah Wood Wedding Crash (27:25–29:39)

• News Item: Elijah Wood (Frodo Baggins) crashed a Lord of the Rings-themed wedding in New Zealand, delighting the bride and groom.
  • The team jokes about Elijah’s “theater trot” run and uncanny resemblance to Katy Perry.

The "Perfect Match" Theory (29:09–38:00)

• Nerd Weddings as Relationship Litmus Test:

  • If you find a partner who’ll plan a themed LOTR wedding with you, “you will never find anyone else. You are perfectly matched.” (John, 30:12)
    • Quote: “That is the only time I’ve ever said there’s no chance of divorce.” – John, (30:20)

• Personal Anecdotes:

  • Brett DJed a themed wedding with stick-horses and wizard hats (32:07).
  • Arguments about which wedding themes guarantee eternal commitment—LOTR, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Disney, Renaissance Faires, etc.

• Comic Riffs on Fandoms & Stereotypes:

  • Jokes about fan couples aging together (“She’s 600 lbs, he’s 500, they don’t care, they’re never going to find another one like that.” – John, 37:37).

• Satirical Take on Race in Fantasy:

  • John riffs that Lord of the Rings is a “racist” fantasy world (“That’s the other side of this wedding… two massive racists getting married there, because they want to live in a world with just nothing but tiny whites.” 39:32–40:19), launching into a parody of “Lords in the Hood” and clowning on racial casting.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• John (on alien threat, hope, and human unity):
  “I root for and hope that 31 Atlas makes a right. Oh, it would be incredible… Our focus would just… Everything stupid would stop. All this nonsense would end. All this, you know, Trump’s dance and the left and the right and the Middle East and all this crazy things that we fight. It would just end. We’d be like, we got a huge fish to fry and it’s coming towards us. We don’t know what it is. I root for this so badly because I think it can fix us. That’s the cure. That’s my Pollyanna view…” (08:46)

• Philosophy on Humanity’s Drama:
  “People who say life is short aren’t paying attention. It’s a long haul. You get a lot of time on this planet. If you’re lucky, you get a lot of time.” – John, (13:36)

• On Fandom Marriages:
  “If you find a girl who plans a Lord of the Rings wedding and you’re like, yup, you are never going to find anyone else. You are perfectly matched. That is the most matched you can be, because you’ll never look at that person again and say, ‘I’ll just find another one of you.’” – John, (30:12)

• Joke on Race and Fantasy:
  “I don’t think she’s going to be interested in that guy… because Lord of the Rings, I don’t think there were any black people. I think that’s the other side of this wedding – two massive racists getting married there because they want to live in a world with just nothing but tiny whites.” (39:32)

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Important Timestamps

• 03:02–11:00 – Deep dive into the 31 Atlas asteroid: speculation, pop culture references, and wishful thinking.
• 13:36–18:00 – John’s philosophical take on long life, personal stories about meaningful experiences, and reflections on legacy.
• 27:25–29:39 – Elijah Wood crashes Lord of the Rings wedding; banter about his run and doppelgängers.
• 29:09–38:00 – Discussion and stories about themed weddings, nerd relationships, and hypothetical perfect matches.
• 39:32–41:59 – Comic digression about race in Lord of the Rings and imagined "Lords in the Hood" parody.

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Tone and Style

• Casual, irreverent, sharply comedic.
• Hosts riff and roast each other and pop culture, mixing genuine curiosity (about science and humanity’s future) with satire, edgy jokes, and personal stories.
• The banter flows naturally, jumping from serious reflections to over-the-top comedy and back.

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Summary

This episode balances sincere curiosity about the cosmos (what is 31 Atlas/3I Atlas?!) with classic HMS irreverence and intelligent foolishness. The hosts muse on whether only literal aliens could unite our divided species, share personal and poignant stories about life and loss, and dive deep into fandom wondering—if you and your partner are nerdy enough for a themed Lord of the Rings wedding, are you soulmates for life? The show is a rapid-fire blend of news, speculation, crude observations, and pop culture lampooning—a wild ride, even if you missed the broadcast.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about FanDuel. It's NBA tip off week and FanDuel is your home for live betting. FanDuel is giving new customers $300 in bonus bets if your first $5 bet wins. So just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to sign up today and play your game with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA, 21 plus and present in Arizona. First online real money wa only five dollar first deposit required. Bonus issued is non withdrawable bonus Fetch which expires seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text NEXT STEP to 53342. The old method of treatment for a.

[Announcer (Comedy and Event Promos)]

Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, there you go. Thank you. Miles to nowhere. That is Katie and the Hobbs, of course, getting us started on a Wednesday morning as we roll right into the seven o' clock word for the take it on the app contest. It's coming up here in a few seconds. And get all that together. Yeah, people all agree about the vortex thing and that's very funny. It's just proof that we're afraid to tell women who think it's great that they're silly. I got to get that one in a second. I do have to say this. Tyler has emailed in said 15 years. My pit bull Ellie was the best thing I could have ever asked for. The list of things I love in this world. Kind of short. She definitely was at the top. But tonight, now, last night, as you Read. This was her time to go. Some will roll their eyes when people talk about their pets being babies, fur babies. But Ellie was absolutely mine. And for all the ghouls, give your pets little extra love and a treat in honor of Ellie, you, Chancellor Pop Pop. Brett. Even Toledo were awesome. And I look forward to the show. Big nothing but dick and fart jokes. Go. I can smile starting today after Ellie's gone. So there you go for Ellie today, everybody. Ellie is another one of our besties that's done their job 15 years. Nice job, Tyler. That's a long, long life for a pity. You did a good job. Now you're going to grieve for a little bit. You're going to mourn and then what you should do as a guy who loves dogs and in honor of Ellie some more, head on over to the Humane Society or lost our home pet rescue or. Or any shelter that you find and give another dog a chance that you gave Ellie. There's plenty of them out there that need lives like Ellie. So you're doing a great job. You're not replacing one. They come and they go. That's the unfortunate part of the pet ownership, is that they come and they go and it isn't bad to say, you know what, I'm a good dog owner. I am a gift to dogs and they are better lives because of people like you. So, Tyler, get on out there. Sorry about that. This one. Following up that beautiful message from Tyler, the only thing sucking in Sedona are the divorced bitches when I get hold of them. Signed Rico. The vortex plays well, thank you very much. Timing in after that lovely moment with. With Tyler. I, by the way, have been getting a lot of emails now. I spent the weekend, a day up there in Sedona with my friend Jeff, Dr. Jeff and my friend Anthony. And Dr. Jeff started to say things like 31 Atlas. And it was almost his six, seven. He was like, 31 Atlas got it. And I kept kind of hearing it and he's like, you don't know about 31 Atlas? I'm like, oh, is that. Yeah, I guess I do explain it. It's that thing that no one knows what it is. It's that I get an email this morning from a guy, Trevor, says 31 Atlas is not normal. Space stuff is going to change humanity. I wish everyone cared. Signed Trevor. 31 Atlas is this thing in space that they. They don't know what it is. And then I see an article here.

[Brady]

Is that the one where the Harvard professor thinks it's an alien ship.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's people who think it's a ship, there's people who think it's, we've done this. So they think it's almost a message in a bottle we fired off capsules. It just go, you know, and hopefully if someone finds it, it's got coordinates back to what we think if where it ends up, they would find it and find us in space. It's got a makeup of our DNA, you know, if they have a similar kind of thing. It's got songs, it's got I Love Lucy episodes, it's got all sorts of all these digital recordings. And it was launched a long time and we've done this a few times.

[Brady]

All right, this is a different one.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm saying that I'm wondering if that's something that they've done and they think that is coming to us, the 31 Atlas. They don't know. They do think it's a spacecraft, they do think it's a weird asteroid, they do think it's something else. But I'm wondering. And there are people who think it's an artifact based capsule coming towards us to let us know about another group who knows. There's speculation all over. A theoretical physicist has suggested that the mysterious quote Comet 31 Atlas, maybe if it were in a space shift ship, an alien spaceship, it would have to change course for Earth today at some point today. And then in the 24 hour space hours of coming towards us, it would have to start to change direction, which it has done a couple of times. It's maneuvered off course a little bit.

[Brady]

Because it's going around the sun and the sun will throw it to whatever direction it's going to. This is the day it could choose to change the direction.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if it's not a comet, if it's manned, yeah, it can steer. And so they're saying if it is something more and there are people out there losing their minds over 31 Atlas, I didn't realize what a big deal it was. And they found this asteroid, terrestrial impact last alert system. It's called Atlas. Now they identified a mystery space rock. Even NASA's kind of like we're not real sure. It's moving different than anything else. It doesn't seem to be part of anybody, anything's gravitational pull or it's kind of against all that. So they're saying today's the day, that if it is something special, it will and it's coming for Us, It'll, it'll change direction today. It has to, otherwise it'll shoot by us.

[Brady]

Also, there are numerous sites that say this day they could also, we could get contact.

[John Holmberg]

Awesome. So here I am as a person who, you know, I'm not following this. It's a waste of time to follow.

[Brett Vesely]

Give me a speak and spell.

[John Holmberg]

We've done that before.

[Brett Vesely]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

Speaking spell.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

I am rooting so heavily for the news to say 31 Atlas changed direction today. Let's be honest with ourselves. It's getting a little mundane, isn't it? The day to day with the politics, this and the. You know, I just got a text from a guy I didn't know about this story and he says, you're ignoring it. I get, Yeah, I get. By the way, you guys have no idea. I get several people like, well, KPD remains silent about this, so I know that you guys are in the hands of the right wing media. And then like two emails later, your leftist views are showing you're not allowed to talk about. So there's. I get videos from people all the time who are locked in on their political nonsense all day long and start screaming at me for not having opinions on either side. There was one that was interesting today. The earnest guy that goes crazy every once in a while fired one over to me that some dude in Tennessee was arrested for texting a meme that didn't seem that threatening. And it got thrown in jail because it was against Trump and they said, oh, it was a school shooting and against Trump and all that. And he'd been in jail for 40 days. And it was essentially a meme that if that's the one they bagged him up for, it ain't that good. So. But wouldn't it be more like, don't we need that? Remember in Independence Day, the one kind of subtle move they made in that movie was when the alien spaceship showed up. They showed Iraq, Iran, us, Afghanistan, Israel, Russia all working together. The only thing that will unite humanity is a threat from somewhere else, from off the planet. We're so busy on this planet, so many movies. Yeah, yeah, we're being dicks to each other constantly. But yeah, the Tim Burton's Mars attacks, when that happened, all of Earth had to unite. And that's the only thing that's going to get us together and be human again. It will last all of five minutes. But today is a day that I actually root for and hope, and I'm not crazy. I root for and hope that 31 Atlas makes a right. Oh, it would be incredible. It would be incredible. Our focus would just. Everything stupid would stop. All this nonsense would end. All this, you know, Trump's dance and the left and the right and the. The Middle east and all this crazy things that we fight. It would just end. We'd be like, we got a huge fish to fry and it's coming towards us. We don't know what it is. I root for this so badly because I think it can fix us. That's the cure. That's my Pollyanna view breath. That's how I am as a dreamer that aliens will come here and threaten us and will finally become human beings united. It's a dream of mine. Listen to me. I'm standing on a vortex. I must have been in Sedona recently, because these are not words a normal person says.

[Brady]

The only thing that I see is, like, a couple of things. First, it's kind of cool. The term today is when it reaches the closest point to the sun. It's called perihelin.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you like that word.

[Brady]

And that's where they get their chance. If it's a ship, then they can thrust their boosters as it. It slings around like a slingshot.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you can use it.

[Brady]

If not. And it slings around. We're looking at a thing the size of Manhattan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Heading towards Earth. Well, if it makes a move. If it is Right. And there's the other thing. Is that again. If it's. I want this thing to come directly to. I want the Morgan Freeman. There's an asteroid headed directly towards Earth. What do we do there? Everybody calls each other and says, sorry about that whole thing. We were mad about, you know, if Brett and I are in. In a huge fight, a massive fight. Right. And then we have to be in a car together and we see a semi truck just spinning out of control directly at us and we can't move. I'm going to turn to Brett. I'm sorry for everything. Like, immediately. It's going to. I'm not going to sit go. You're still a dick. Like, that's not going to be. My last thought is going to be humanity. God bless. It's going to be. I don't know if I'm going to say that. That's silly. Why would God run us over with a semi truck? And our worst possible. I'm uncomfortable already. He's in my car. We hate each other. He's telling me he's a. I'm not gonna tell me. Oh, I'd say he's A Dick. God bless. Because he's Italian, he'd say that. And God bless you, Dick, though. God bless. God bless. But we wouldn't do that. We would. Our inner beauty as humans would come out in that moment going, none of what we were fighting about really mattered because, look, we're about to get malmarted, and that's what would happen. So I'm rooting in a very strange way for this thing to start coming towards, even if it is just an asteroid size of Manhattan. Then we'll learn how to fight those off together. We'll get every, every nation's brightest person to sit in a room and say, what do we do?

[Brett Vesely]

What if it's an asteroid or something?

[John Holmberg]

If it's anything, we just send the riggers up there. They'll take care of that. We've seen the movie, Brett, and it didn't work out.

[Brett Vesely]

Bruce Willis will take care of it.

[John Holmberg]

Remember, the Russians were kind of questionable. They weren't really. This is different. I think it would be awesome. So I'm rooting for 31 of SpaceX. Yeah, I'm rooting.

[Brady]

What can your boys do?

[John Holmberg]

Suddenly Elon Musk is like, all those people burning up Tesla's like, what can you. Oh, you need me now, huh? Okay, okay, I'll do that. But they say first they have to find out the intentions. If they're, you know, benign and they're coming towards us with no, you know, it's like, all right, we don't know what it is, though. And then signals.

[Announcer (Comedy and Event Promos)]

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[Announcer (Comedy and Event Promos)]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Downtown At Stand Up Live, you've got Moshe Kasher and the pride of Jacksonville, Florida, Lil Duvall performing Desert Ridge up north features the very funny Hans Kim. And Eastside at the Tempe Improv has two entertaining comedians with Alvin Kuwait and Basim Youssef. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to [e-mail] and tempe improv.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

I am rooting for this in my lifetime. I would like that kind of altering moment, this day to day thing. I say this all the time to people. I said I was talking to somebody yesterday. I was like, I'm fine with the way things are going. It's good, you know, it's nice. But this is a long movie. People who say life is short aren't paying attention. It's a long haul. You get a lot of time on this planet. If you're lucky, you get a lot of time. You, you know, you might drop out tomorrow, but for the most part, I'm 53. It's a pretty good, you know, amount. If I've seen this, I've seen that, you know, there'll be more coming, but from here on out, not really going to make much of an impact. So I'd like something to happen that makes it awesome.

[Brady]

Imagine that. I mean, 300 years ago, whatever. Like, it's a long time. Average age 35, you know, people ending. So 35 years was a long time. Yeah, it's probably further back, but.

[John Holmberg]

But it's.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's now we're doubling it.

[John Holmberg]

Look, 80 years, you can get pretty much everything you want to get done in 80 years. I'm pretty sure that that's a reasonable blip in the grand scheme of things. It's nothing but for you to live that. Credits can roll on this movie any time. And I'd be like, that's fine.

[Brett Vesely]

So when is this thing supposed to hit us?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know, you're always so violent for this. It's not, it's not necessarily supposed to hit us.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, what's it supposed do a drive by today?

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, today we'll know whether it's going to make a left and we're getting company.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Or it's just going to go, oh, it's a thing. The thing about 31 Atlas, since Jeff started to talk to me about it and made me curious because he's really smart, so I trust his brain. And so I started to read about it on Sunday, it basically came out of nowhere. According to scientists, it was an asteroid or a comet or something that like we've. This is, this is interstellar. It blipped out of the blue and they're like, what's that like? And scientists don't like that in the things they're super familiar with. And they were super familiar with the area and then it showed up and they're like, what's that? Like this doesn't happen. Like it's pretty patterned space. Like it's got a nice. Oh no again, we're. We're idiots.

[Brady]

It's only the third one we've ever seen.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And we don't know where they're coming from. And so we don't. We're not sure. And that comes from the idea that we think it's what we've seen twice before. If it isn't, it's behaving like that. But all things traveling through wood.

[Brady]

It's amazing. It. It disappeared for a month.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Circling the sun.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. And it's. It's a strange kind of like we don't know what this thing's doing. It's. It has no pattern. I'm. I'm. I'm wishing upon wish. Oh, it's up past 7 o'. Clock. I gave her the word. I did. No, I didn't. Confetti. Confetti. And that's what I want to shoot in the air when I find out. 31 Atlas turned and put its signal on and made a left. That'd be like Mercury. It would have to like turn left at Mercury and then like kind of straighten out of Venus and start heading right towards us. And then you just, all of a sudden your radio will be like, hey, it's Larry McFeely. It's 11 drink. We are Gardock. We're on our way in. Please have treats.

[Brady]

It's the first I've heard it called. 31 Atlas.

[John Holmberg]

31 Atlas. Yeah. It's been around for a bit, but it's the one that they've been looking at going, what is that? And I love what is that? Because what is that? Can lead to awesome stuff. It's interstellar. We've recorded since our. This guy said since our detection started nearly 10 years ago, the object is going behind. The sun will not be visible till Christmas. So a change in course would not be known until be ready. But they say if it does, it has to do it today in order to be on course at its speed. So let's hope that when it peaks around the sun again you'll be like, sweet Jesus. It's in a weirder spot, and it's doing loop de loos and all sorts. It'd be awesome. Everybody always thinks that, and I do, too. That when the aliens do come here and. Chief, please, come on. I've only got, like, maybe 15 years left before I'm gonna check out on my own. I don't make something like that happen. I want to be on the planet for either the alien invasion or the end. Otherwise, I'm just an ant in the farm that kind of meandered around at a certain amount of time. I always think of my grandpa. I say this all the time. Born the year of the 1919 Chicago Black Sox. Died in 2005, the year the White Sox won the World Series. A huge White Sox fan for all 85 of his years.

[Brady]

He made the sacrifice.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't see a championship. And his whole life working at a steel mill, pumping six kids out into the world, loving on Shirley Skaggs, his wife. They had a great world. Just. That's it. Chewing red men, watching the White Sox. That's what he loved the most. Never got the joy of a championship. Not once. His time on this planet was wasted. Nothing. He's gone. He didn't get to see an apocalypse. He didn't get. Almost in the 40s. You can see that explosion was pretty cool.

[Brett Vesely]

Lots of Cubs fans, same way.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Cubs fans. How many of them came and went?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, possibly two generations worth.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, and I say that like that's a meaningless thing, but to him, it was the most important thing every year. The socks are going to do it. 83 with Kittle and what was the. The Steve Trout and Lamar Hoyt and Greg Lesinski and Carlton Fisk and that team. He was. He beaming. It was Tony Larussa's first management. He was beaming. They get bounced by the A's or something. I don't remember who beat them.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't either. Be honest.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was 83. So it would have been the Orioles.

[Brett Vesely]

Winning ugly.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, winning ugly because their uniforms were weird. And anyway, Miguel d' Arte says. Hate to break it to you, Whitey, alien invasion already happened. They're called Mexicans. Well, well, Miguel. Exactly right. Call ice. We've got. We've got an interstellar group of Mexicans heading towards us. And of course, they're hiding behind the sun. That's what those people do. It's crazy, but. Yeah, I like that. This guy says it's. I think if fake news fear porn is real, then this Stunt would be done to make us unite. And if we unite as a globe, doesn't that push some new world order theory? See, and this is where we do get. We're so skeptical. You're not. Tommy's not wrong. Is that. Look at 9 11. As a nation, we were united for 48 hours and it felt amazing. Then the first guy says, we need to nuke the hell out of whoever did this. We could have figured out who did it. I don't care. Turn the whole area into a glass factory. They're nothing but trouble. I gotta have it. And then the fights. 48 hours later, I saw Daniel Alper, as we know. So, yeah, maybe it is a scam. Maybe it's some news fake scam to say, you know what? When you calm the masses down, it is control over the population. They kind of got that already, but it's a little out of. You know, they used. They used to use religion to control the dummies and say, oh, the sky wizard, he's a coming for you if you don't behave. And then people behaved a little better until they figured out, oh, they're faking it. And then they kind of drifted off, did their whole. Sodom and Gomorrah thinks that nobody turns into a pillar of salt. That's all hooey. They had to write a second book and all that. So now maybe space aliens, when NASA says, hey, they're coming for us, will shape up for a little bit. And I think that would be nice. I think it's a nice message. Even if it is fake, then I hope it isn't. I want to be on this planet when that. And that would give me like, I got to see how this ends. I got. I get. Right now my curiosity is basically kind of. I'm, you know, we're in the. We're in the treadmill. We're sitting here going, I'm pretty much enjoying this. This is nice. But I don't want a tragedy. But I would like something crazy to happen while I'm here. Aliens would be high on the list. A deity returning. That's two. I love that. The violent nature of the Bible at the end. I'd love to see that. An old fire and everything is exploding. Snap of a finger, people are dropping dead. And it's like, man, this thing, this beautiful book sure does end ugly. It's kind of like a 1960s farce movie where everything kind of builds up to the big car chase at the end where you got gorillas and people driving and hitting Palm trees and coconuts hitting other people in the head, starting that domino effect. Crazy. The mad, mad, Mad, Mad Mad world movie at the end when Tony Curtis is everybody's flying around. Cannonball Run was the exact same thing. At the end it was just chaos. That's based on the Bible. I want that. So Atlas 31, I cheer for you. I hope and I pray to Brady's.

[Brady]

Gu.

[John Holmberg]

That that happens and we find out soon. This guy says my grandmother on my dad's side. Very cool man. Always chewed red man. And as a kid I would make them open up that pouch to smell it because red man smells delicious. But you know what red man doesn't do? Taste delicious? Pop Popeye let me have some of his red man once. And I was probably six, taught you it's Indiana. Six year olds can chew. And he gave me a little tiny bit of that and put it in my mouth and I spit that out within a half a second and then got real dizzy and felt terrible. And I didn't try it again until playing some baseball. And all the kids in the team replaced the big league chew with Copenhagen. And like five of us were throwing up all over the practice. It was horrible.

[Brett Vesely]

Sandlot all over.

[John Holmberg]

It was. It was exactly. The sandlot is real because there's plenty of guys who've done that. And then I tried it again later when I was like 19 and took to it for about six months and then realized that I was carrying a milk jug of my spit around. It was just gross. Find random ones are gross. My buddy Andy spilled his all over the place. And it's apartment carpeting not built for tobacco spit. There was contests. People like to spit who could fill up the jug faster. It was gross.

[Brady]

Well, back in the day when they dumped the spittoons.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. My boy Andy found a girl. She had a twin sister and they were beautiful and she liked to make out with them while I had a dip in.

[Brady]

Ah.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, well, she'll swallow anything. I guess that's the positivity.

[Brett Vesely]

Mason native.

[John Holmberg]

I think that was the one. Also. No. You surprisingly, no. Mesa close. But she. Her twin sister was really hot. And then. And that was when I first started kind of seeing the girl I was seeing. And we were having regular sex, both of us, Andy not together, but Andy and I. And he had a girlfriend kind of for the first time that was really giving it to him and I was too. And you know, you got to explore a little more than you did initially. And I remember Andy coming to me and he goes, hey, have you noticed that, like, does yours have, like. Does the thing on top like a. Does it look like a really small penis? Nope.

[Announcer (Comedy and Event Promos)]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holmberg here.

[John Holmberg]

Shaylon away from my friends at New Vision Auto Glass. Brady just had his windshield replaced. Toledo just had his windshield replaced. And Brett evidently got jealous because his windshield got cracked on his drive to work the other day. New Vision Auto Glass, they're your best friends. They'll fix that ugly busted glass, then give you up to $375 back, and you'll get dinner at the world famous Brazilian steakhouse, Rodizio Grill. Go to new visionautoglast.com, see what you qualify for, then get it fixed. Call 480-210-9090. New Vision Auto Glass, proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondback sickness. And he was really concerned about that because he's like. And like yours does. He goes, yeah, it's real big for a girl part. Look at that. I don't. And, you know, that was before the Internet and everything. Like, Playboy didn't really focus in on that, so you didn't get to see that. But if you got close enough, you'd be like, wait a second. That thing looks like a little wiener. And then we started laughing about that because mine was normal and his wasn't. And he stayed with her for a while and made out worth her. Worth his red man.

[Brady]

And she moved back to Thailand.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Then she said, gotta go. Bye. Bye. Sucked up some of that spit out of his mouth, and took off. She was. She was getting free Copenhagen for, like, six months. That's great. This guy says, John, I literally watched the physicist on Joe Rogan yesterday, and it's Three Eye Atlas. Oh, I didn't know that. It's Three Eye Atlas. I didn't. I thought it was 31. Okay, he said he corrected Joe a bunch of times, too. All right, I didn't know that. I'm. I'm learning by reading it looks like a 31 to me. In fact, it does say 31 in the article. I'm looking at three eyes. Fine. Whatever it is, head towards us, and that way we can. Man, I tell you what, Brady, you watched the video this morning while we were in the office together, and I was watching It. Before I left work today, I went at the house and Elijah Wood from Lord of the Rings. By the way, the word is confetti.

[Brett Vesely]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

I did it again. Confetti. I just got one. Confetti is the seven o' clock word. C O, N F E, T T I cone fetty. Take it in the app, get it on there right now and qualify for your thousand bucks. Anyway, Elijah Wood crashed a wedding. I don't know what he's doing over there. They're not filming another one, are they?

[Brady]

I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

For Christ's sake. Frodo Baggins goes over to New Zealand.

[Brady]

Maybe there is another spin off. I don't know. They are doing the Lord of the Rings spin off.

[John Holmberg]

But down there in New Zealand, they're traveling that. Just do it in Oregon, for God's sake. Save some money.

[Brady]

They built that whole.

[John Holmberg]

And it's still there.

[Brady]

Shire is still there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And Oregon. That's a good point.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's Brett's right wing. Yeah. That was his politics coming out there. Hippies. Yeah, It's a little far. So they have weddings at Frodo Shire. Right. In New Zealand. And so I'm watching this thing on the news and they showed this. This couple. And then there's Elijah Wood, who I always think is also Katy Perry. If you look at their faces, there's really no difference. I'm pretty sure that's the same person. I know I'll wreck it for you.

[Brady]

But they run the same.

[John Holmberg]

They both run like girls. I saw that, too. Brady. Elijah does not run like he's ever played a sport in his life or been afraid. Like his run was.

[Brady]

It's a theater trot.

[John Holmberg]

It is, yeah. He is jogging back on stage for the final bow. It's. I think what Brady's trying to say is it's a pretty gay run. Katy Perry might run a little more manly. If they're not the same person. That. My theory is that they're the same person. If you look at Elijah Wood next time and then look at Katy Perry, you could easily put some heavy makeup on Elijah and go, that's the same person. Especially in that spaceship when she was kind of not 100% like gravity. Anyway, so they had the wedding out there at Frodo's set in Matmata Matamata, New Zealand. And there's Elijah and he rolls in and crashes the wedding with a film crew and all this stuff.

[Brady]

It looks like there's about 15 pews.

[John Holmberg]

On each side and they're all Dressed up.

[Brady]

Not a huge wedding, but I won't.

[John Holmberg]

Say all of them. A lot of them are dressed up in Lord of the Rings stuff. And the people getting married are Lord of the Rings fans and the pastor guys. Probably a friend who decided to dress up. He's Gandalf. He kind of thing going on. And I thought to myself, this is. There is no possible way that marriage ends. And it isn't because Elijah Wood crashed it. Although I do find it odd that Elijah Wood is just, like, revisiting Frodo's house. Like, life must not have worked out if you still have to go back every once in a while.

[Brady]

And I know why he kind of trotted in there in a way, because.

[John Holmberg]

He'S like, I'm interrupting the wedding Instagram.

[Brady]

I want to get in and out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And he popped in. He popped out. And he was in town like, we got a wedding at your shire. And he's like, oh, we got a crash. It's great for him to have done that. But I started thinking about this couple and if you have anyone in your life, I mean, guys. Guys tolerate an awful lot about wedding planning. It's the woman's day. Right. And so we, you know, I'll speak for most men. We find the entire event a bit silly. The wedding part, we're into the marriage part, you know, but the entire show, most dudes could do without that. I think most guys would be like, yeah, let's family and do this. But to make.

[Brady]

You're doing it for your wife.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're only doing it because she wants this. She wants her dress, and she wants to be a princess for a day. Guys don't have that. Like, that's nice. I'll put. We wear the same suit as everybody else. Like, we're not trying too hard to be different. And it's not our. And we know that at. Somehow or another, the union of two people is not about one of them. I don't know how that. I don't know how that worked out. But when they're. They're big and shiny, it's for her. And she's feeling like, you know, the belle of the ball and she's Cinderella, and that's fine. But if you find a girl who plans a Lord of the Rings wedding and you're like, yup, you are never going to find anyone else. You are perfectly matched. That is the most matched you can be because you'll never look at that person again and say, I'll just find another one of you. You're not going to do it. It's like marrying a billionaire. You better stick to this. They are going to get. That is the only time I've ever said there's no chance of divorce. Here. They agree on a Lord of the Rings wedding immediately. You know, that dude is either just gonna cave constantly or he's into it. Cause there's no way the guy.

[Brady]

That's true for McDonald's wedding.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, because there's too many competitors. You catch him at Wendy's and he starts liking those fries a little bit better. And the next.

[Limitless TRT and Aesthetics Advertiser]

What happened?

[John Holmberg]

I thought we were McDonald's people. Wendy's got good fries. You head to Waterburger, hit those French fries and that burger once, and you're gonna start regretting your McDonald's wedding. Yeah, there's too many competitors. It's very specific. The Lord of the rings.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, I've DJed one that was very similar to that.

[John Holmberg]

You did?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah. And they came. They came riding in on those. Those stick horses and stuff like that into the ceremony.

[Brady]

Monty Python.

[Brett Vesely]

Very similar. Seriously? Yeah. The guy had the big wizard hat on and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

No way.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I used to have pictures of it. I got it.

[John Holmberg]

So it was like a larp wood. Yeah. No way. It ends.

[Brett Vesely]

And they. They all drank out of the little leather mugs and everything else. And it was.

[Brady]

It's.

[Brett Vesely]

It's entertaining.

[John Holmberg]

But there's no way you'll be DJing either of those people's weddings again. Unless one of them dies. Yeah, there's no kids way. No. Yeah, their kid. They're chill. They'll see them again when their children get married to another weird nerd that is. It's actually the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Because if it's just the guy that's into it, he. There's no way a woman's gonna forego the great big wedding gown just to appease a guy's love for Lord of the Rings. They're not getting along. If the woman wants Lord of the Rings, the guy might do it. But he ain't footing the bill to rent out Frodo's pad. This was. This is the most perfect match I've ever seen. How in the world did you fight at home? You fight over something. Like, you don't clean the Shire. Like, I don't clean the Shire. I work all day. You clean the Shire. You know what we're talking about? A shire. Why are we mad at each other?

[Brett Vesely]

I have a job.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm on a quest every day for more Money and food while you sit here in the Shire and complain. But then you're like, wait a minute, what are we doing here? Lord of the Rings. We'll just turn Lord of the Rings on. That's the blowjob for them. And they both are into it and they'll never die.

[Brady]

Star wars same thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Probably pretty damn 100. Yeah. Yeah. If you can. If you can get a woman into movie character at her wedding and it's the same like, that's their blow jobs. It will. And they're never. 20 years from now. It's like, my wife doesn't want to watch Lord of the Rings with me anymore. It's not gonna happen. They're gonna always want to be part of it. And they're gonna watch everything. Everything that is related to it. They've got constants.

[Brady]

I went to a Disney one where they Every table was a character from Disney DJ'd one of those two.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, see, that one, to me has to be more specific to a thing. Like, it can't just be like, everybody loves all because some Disney movies stink. And you can have conflict. But the Lord of the Rings people.

[Brady]

Don'T have Disneyland more than. I mean, they had that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, go to Disneyland.

[Brady]

So everything was about but that.

[John Holmberg]

That couple.

[Brady]

Their kids are all going to.

[John Holmberg]

That couple is living in a dangerous Cinderella. There were. You know, it can. It can vacillate between Ratatouille and the Princess and the Frog. Like, it can go all over the place. And then you have an argument over whether or not, you know, brave was good. And now you're in a fight. Lord of the Rings, it's set in stone. Every word spoken in that is gospel to those Lord of the Rings fans. That's the most beautiful wedding I've ever seen. But yeah, they have the ability to rent Frodo Baggin's house. So I think that's what you're looking for. Like, if Brett ever found And I know Matthias pretty close. But if she was willing to dress up like Cathy Moriarty and you were willing to dress up like Robert Zeniro from Raging Bull and have a wedding, there's no chance that's ever gonna fail. Like, if she's willing to put the. And be. If she was willing to be Carmella and you were willing to be Tony and have a Sopranos wedding. That's never gonna fail, ever.

[Brady]

Bachelor party at the Bada Bing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, forget it. But you've got this amazing union of people who have. Are willing to forego the typical wedding and, and have their lives kind of crash around the idea that they, they're kind of, I don't know, autistic towards one singular thing.

[Brett Vesely]

This guy's buddy had his. His friend and his wife had a Harry Potter wedding. Same type of thing. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No possible way that ends.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

You can't fight. You'll never find another one.

[Brady]

Or both are into it. Because I don't think like the Lord of the Rings wedding. I don't think the guy is like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You just go ahead and line that up.

[John Holmberg]

Right. They're both in on it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And there's no way it ends. There's no way that one of them's going to sit the other down someday and go, I don't like Lord of the Rings anymore. It's not going to happen. It's John Holbert here from my friends at New Vision Autoglass. Six weeks and counting. My windshield is still perfect. Call New Vision Autoglass and after about 15 minutes on the phone, you'll get everything you need. You can get up to 375. $5 back. Visit new visionautoglass.com to see what you qualify for. Then you get that delicious free dinner from the world famous Brazilian steakhouse Rhodesio Grill, now in Mesa and their new location in Scottsdale. There's no excuse for you not to have a good piece of glass on that car. I don't want to hear it. Pick up the phone and fix it. 480-210-9090. New Vision Auto Glass, proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondbacks.

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[John Holmberg]

Homeberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Today we have the lamb spread.

[John Holmberg]

Tasting right, remembers the food from it well.

[Brett Vesely]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Weirdo. You're weirder than that.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that the same people that go as couples to the Renaissance festival too? Okay, yes. Dressed up to the nines and it's always.

[John Holmberg]

And then 20 years from now, you see him again and they're still together. And she's £600 and he's £500 and they don't care.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They'll roll around on each other and look terrible doing it. And it doesn't bother them because deep down they know they're never going to find another one like that. You can't just go, well, I'll just have another Lord of the Rings wedding. It means too much. Find somebody who likes your favorite movie.

[Brady]

Could be traveling with Renaissance. Then.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It's years later making wax hands.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you've got wax hands with each name and a date on them and they're next to each other on any shelf in your house, you're staying together forever.

[Brett Vesely]

Their wedding picture hasn't. Each holding a turkey leg.

[John Holmberg]

The ones dressed as a queen who's overweight. And the dude's got but a weird kind of like, strange mustache that didn't really fill in. It's. You're staying together forever. You can't find somebody more matched to you. Don't blow this. It's never gonna happen. There's no possible way ever that she's gonna just go, you know what? I've changed my mind about Lord of the Rings. And now I'm a De Niro and Scorsese fan. And the whole thing wouldn't.

[Brady]

Unless there's someone inside the Guild that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. An infiltrator that suddenly she's watching. You know, boys in the hood and stuff like that. You know, like. Well, I thought we liked Lord of the Rings.

[Brady]

I used to.

[Brett Vesely]

Sir Keyshawn changed her over some guy.

[John Holmberg]

Dressed up as Robin Hood. I don't even understand what I'm doing, but this bitch seems to like when I dress up like Peter Pan. So.

[Brady]

Honey, why do you want a hellcat?

[John Holmberg]

Ain't this a bitch? I'm wearing tights. I think Frodo would want a hellcat if he knew about him.

[Brady]

You've had Prius for years.

[John Holmberg]

Look at me. I look like Dave Chappelle in many tights. I'm running around, I'm banging this bitch. You think she like from Lord of the Rings? All I gotta do is dress up like a crazy person. We just going to watch. Hey, sit and watch one of my movies now. Well, you dress like that, we. I be up like Peter Pan or whatever you want me to do, but. Robin Hood.

[Brett Vesely]

Prince of the Hood.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. That's a good one. Why these walk around so much. Just sit down, take a break. I'm going to take my tights off the chafe. Yeah, it's. That's. And I don't Think she's going to be interested in that guy? I gotta be honest, because Lord of the Rings, I don't think there were any black people. I think that's the other side of this wedding is there's two massive racists getting married there because they want to live in a world with just nothing but tiny whites. They don't ever really want to be in a world that doesn't have just people who look like them. Maybe, maybe orcs or something or some like animal that can talk. But let's just keep the. The. Let's keep everything pretty lily white. I'll take some littles.

[Brady]

But the spin off, there's some color in the Shire.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, in the shows? Yeah. Look, Brady, I'm a man. I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Brett Vesely]

That'd be like all in the family in the Jeffersons.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Norman Lear had ideas for.

[Brady]

He does look like George Jefferson.

[John Holmberg]

Does he run a laundromat in the Shire by chance? Jefferson Cleaners.

[Brady]

Wheezy, I'm on Rings of Power. That's the one.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, George. Tough day out there in the Shire? Wheezy, clean up this shire.

[Brett Vesely]

His daughter in law's a zebra.

[John Holmberg]

He's horrible. That's why I love him.

[Byron]

Jenny.

[John Holmberg]

Jenny. That's right, Lionel used to it. Jenny Solano, come on in here now, show it. Be easy on him now. Quiet down, Wheezy. I gotta talk to the boy. We gotta go find a ring. Jawa. Ja, Have a ring. Gonna buy you a nice ring there, wheezy. Yeah, Brady's. Jefferson's of the Rings. I don't recall the bet. Lord of the Rings. I don't remember that. Me, I would watch that. I would watch it a lot. I might have a wedding based in that. Lose my job because the makeup, but I would do it. Lord of duh. Rings, as Scott Haynes is called. Oh my goodness. I don't remember that. But yeah, it's two races got married and Elijah Wood was a witness. Would it be better if we lived in a world like that?

[Brett Vesely]

What do you mean?

[John Holmberg]

Like living underground in grass huts with disease rampant and monsters. What's wrong with you? It's a thing I'm telling you right now. But congratulations to them because you will never divorce someone who you both agreed, a man doesn't want to be part of wedding planning at all. But I'll tell you right now, if Matthias said, brett, we're going to have a raging bull wedding, you would have a man so interested in his wedding day, it would be ridiculous. A Ridiculous. And spare no expense. No, no. It's gonna be some or another. You're gonna do it in black and white, too. It's gonna be amazing. I just wanna. I want you to help me pick out the silver patterns. You know what? I trust you. For our Raging Bull wedding, what we should do here is have the knives.

[Announcer (Comedy and Event Promos)]

Should have.

[Brady]

Now you're in.

[John Holmberg]

Now you're totally in. Totally in. Yeah. Racists love Lord of the Rings. I think that's true because they look at a place and just go, man, what a utopia that is. Just whites, nothing but whites. It's true. The closest thing you had was Gandalf the Gray. Just a little under the weather at 7:31. The word for 7 o' clock is confetti. Hop on that, put that in the promo code for 7am and get yourself qualified for another thousand bucks. In the meantime, Brett, tell me what you got on the big board of musical treats. Wake up.

[Brett Vesely]

So I'm brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course, and, well, Josh and the boys over there, they're. They're trying to hook you guys up with tons of sales coming up for the big event we're doing on November 8th. We're going to be out at the new location on power Road and McDowell Raft, the hawse Trailhead. He. He's got full suspension bikes starting at 1500 bucks, all the way up to 3500 new bikes. I mean, you know, so he's taking care of you guys. Plus he's got, you know, all the entry bikes on sale, so if you just want to cruise the neighborhood, stuff like that. You want it? They got it. Plus they're going to have demo rides too, so you can try it before you can buy it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Is Pivot going to be there?

[Brett Vesely]

I. That's what he said. He's working on it. I can't confirm 100. Yeah, I'll definitely be there, but more details coming, so just go to actionrideshop.com, follow them on all the socials, and they'll update you even faster than we can.

[John Holmberg]

What are we going out there at like 11 in the morning?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, 11 to 1. And I believe they're going to be doing kind of like a. A poker ride, too. So that's cards and everything else.

[John Holmberg]

Next Saturday? Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

So you're looking for a bike, man. Action Ride Shop's the place to go.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

ActionRide Shop.com. all right, on the list, Coffin Cats making an appearance. Bad Omens, Apocalyptica for this broad that keeps Complaining. We don't ever play them. Black Sabbath, Danko Jones, Parkway Drive. Wishing wells for the Vortex Tool. Agnostic Front. Gotta go for the show tonight over at the Nile.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Power Man 5000 Supernova goes pop for 31 Atlas 3i.

[John Holmberg]

We just learned it. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Live freaks for the Lord of the Rings. Weddings. David Bowie. Deep Purple.

[John Holmberg]

No, the space.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I took the Steve Miller Space Cowboy off there already, so.

[John Holmberg]

Man, we just played some live a little bit ago. But Freaks is such a cool song. I'll let you choose.

[Brett Vesely]

I kind of like the Supernova goes pop for all the three I.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever. It's called the Atlas Machine.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Powerman 5000 supernova goes pop. We can do that one. Make that right. All the while, you guys shove the word confetti into that little box that is on our app. Take it in the app. Shove your word in the box, and confetti will be the one. You do, and you can get yourself qualified for a thousand bucks giving that away like crazy. Because that's a beautiful thing to do. It's a beautiful thing to do. This guy said, holy crap, John, you're right. Gandalf the Gray is the closest thing to a not white in Lord of the Rings. Except once he came back as better and more powerful, more pure. He was Gandalf the White. Yeah, It's a racist movie. You were a little off color. You were questionable. But when you come back, awesome. Your nickname is the White. It's a fact. I didn't like any of those movies.

[Brady]

There's some dark orcs.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I know, but they're monsters, for God's sakes. I mean, that's how racist that thing is. It's like you've never seen those. World War II.

[Brady]

They are making up for it on the Rings of Power.

[John Holmberg]

I would not want to place that into the people of color category in Lord of the Rings because that's like those drawings in World War II of the Jews. This is what they look like with their horns and their claws and it's like. Well, they're representing people of color. The monsters. Mm. That's more racist.

[Brett Vesely]

Lords in the hood.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Lords in the hood.

[Brett Vesely]

Sir Tray Lord Furious.

[John Holmberg]

Sir D. Wick.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, Sir Doughboy.

[John Holmberg]

I'd watch that for days. Give me the mother arrow, Trey. I'm sorry, Gollum got your little friend, Chris, but I don't want to see you end up in a wheelchair.

[Brett Vesely]

Keep thy babies out of the restraint.

[John Holmberg]

I'm so sick of living in Shires. We gotta make that movie.

[Brett Vesely]

That's gotta happen when Marlon Wayne's coming. We need to talk to him about this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm so sick of living in this shot. Yo, baby, why don't you give me them skins? The hobbits what I smell on you? You've been one of them hobbits. Come on, dad, just cut my hair. You've been a hobbit. Boy, that's great. I hope you blasted him. No, no, no. Don't say that, because that just contributes to more hobbit on hobbit crime. I want to do the whole movie.

[Brett Vesely]

Now we wasting that. You got to be a hobbit doing the lottery.

[John Holmberg]

Buy hobbit lottery ticket. Ah. Brad and I are gonna go in a room and write this real quick. Ready? Take over. All right, let's do it. You got supernova. All right. There you go. Is that it?

[Byron]

Started already?

[John Holmberg]

There's your wake up song, everybody. It's Power Man 5000. It's 98. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brady]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. It's John Holmberg here for my [e-mail] oh, my goodness. My backyard is perfect now that I've turfed it. No mud, no maintenance, no sprinkler repair. No sprinkler. I have a lower water bill, and I have a yard that looks perfect all year long. But that's not all. I've got a putting green, I've got a basketball play court. I've got an unbelievable situation. And I owe it all to turf monsters. If you can dream up a backyard that you've always wanted, Turf monsters is the place to call turfmonstersaz.com hey, gang.

[Brett Vesely]

It'S Brett Vesli from the wildly successful Morning Sickness to tell you about quality car stereo. If you have a motorcycle, UTV or a boat, any fun or even not so fun mode of transportation, quality car stereo can make that sound system fantast stick.

[John Holmberg]

You took me down there, Brett, and I was blown away at what's available. And most folks think their cars can't have new sound systems because of those super fancy displays.

[Brett Vesely]

Actually, it's easier than ever to upgrade your system. But don't just go anywhere. Go to quality car stereo on Sauceman and Baseline in Mesa.

[John Holmberg]

Or check out the website qualitycarsterioaz.com.