10-30-25 - BR - THU - Study Finds People Low On Happiness Scale Have Poorer Health - Woman Suing Sea World For Being Hit By Duck On Ride - Family Finds Bottled Messages On Shore From WWI

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 10-30-25: Study Finds People Low On Happiness Scale Have Poorer Health, Woman Suing Sea World For Being Hit By Duck, Family Finds Bottled WWI Messages

Hosts:
John Holmberg (main host), Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Date: October 30, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" dives into strange and amusing human behaviors, from America's complicated relationship with happiness and its impacts on health, to oddball news stories including a lawsuit against SeaWorld (after a woman was hit by a duck) and a family discovering century-old bottled messages from WWI on an Australian beach. As always, the crew blends in their signature banter, gallows humor, and local color, making for an irreverent but thought-provoking Thursday morning.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. The Candy Corn Debate & Peculiar Holiday Treats

Timestamp: 03:42-04:33

• Holmberg launches a classic food rant tied to National Candy Corn Day, comparing candy corn’s popularity to seasonal foods like tamales, peeps, fruitcake, and cranberries:
  • "If candy corn was good, we’d have it all the time. It’s the same as tamales... If they were good, we’d eat them all [the time]. And peeps. Gotta put peeps in there too.” (John Holmberg, 03:42)
• Peeps making a push for Christmas is dismissed as a marketing fail:
  • “Nobody wants them, though. They’re pushing peeps on you. But they’re only good for one time a year.” (John Holmberg, 04:26)

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2. Riffing on Classic Candy Facts

Timestamp: 04:33-06:08

• Fun facts: Eminem's dropped the tan color 30 years ago; orange introduced 50 years ago; red phased out due to dye scare, only reintroduced in 1987.
  • "It took them 17 years to figure out how to make stuff red again without killing us." (John Holmberg, 05:12)
• Paranoia about red dye and harmlessness of eating candy as a kid; musings about other candies (Sprees, Skittles, Jawbreakers).

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3. Language & History Trivia

Timestamp: 06:15-07:09

• Mark Twain cited as having heard "Jesus H. Christ" in the mid-1800s. Jokes about Jesus’ “middle name” and offers like “Herbert” and "Hosanna."
  • Quote: “Did we ever know Jesus’ middle name? Did anyone keep accurate records on this guy?” (John Holmberg, 06:44)

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4. Ownership & Diversity in US Pro Sports

Timestamp: 07:09-07:45

• Noting there's not a single Black majority owner in MLB, NFL, NBA, or NHL since Michael Jordan sold his Hornets stake.

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5. Pet Costumes and Anthropomorphism

Timestamp: 07:45-09:34

• Stats: 1 in 6 Americans believe their pets actually enjoy Halloween costumes; a third plan to dress up pets.
• Amusing stories about hosts’ own dogs’ reactions to costumes:
  • “Gordon was a vampire the other day… he hated it. He would just sit in the yard and stare back at everybody like, ‘I hate you so much. Take the shirt off.’” (John Holmberg, 08:56)

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6. Happiness Scale and Mental Health

Timestamp: 09:39-11:36

• New study: People ranking ≤3/10 on a happiness scale have poorer health; benefits begin at 2.7 and increase with happiness.
• The crew discusses personal happiness scores:
  • “Where do you find joy?” (John Holmberg, 10:53)
  • Jokes about being a 2 or 3, and how annoying nines are:
    • “If you’re walking around… coming in hot as a nine...a three is going to knock you out.” (John Holmberg, 10:05)
• Darker element—very happy people sometimes hiding struggles (suicide discussion):
  • “A lot of times you hear that: This guy was amazing... happiest guy I knew... and he immediately killed himself.” (John Holmberg, 16:30)
• The group’s self-assessed happiness: Brady (7), John (4), Dick (5–6).

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7. China’s New Law for Influencers

Timestamp: 11:36-11:59

• New rule: Chinese influencers must prove their qualifications before posting about finance, health, or law.

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8. Sidebar: Listener Emails & Banter

Timestamps interspersed, e.g., 13:45–16:24

• A listener jokes about being a “nine” in happiness while driving autopilot in a Tesla, “could be a ten if…”
• Crowd-sourced jokes and quips continue as they riff on happiness and personal fulfillment.

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9. SeaWorld Lawsuit: Woman Hit By Flying Duck

Timestamp: 17:41–22:26

• News: Orlando woman sues SeaWorld for $50,000 after being knocked unconscious by a duck on the Mako roller coaster.
  • “She got Fabioed.” (John Holmberg, 17:51)
• Surprised at SeaWorld’s fast shift to rides and away from animal shows, musing on the ethics/legacy of whale/dolphin captivity:
  • “Why did you guys cave so fast? What were you doing?’ We were starving them until they did the jumps.” (John Holmberg, 22:27)

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10. Killer Whales vs. Boats—Animal Uprising?

Timestamp: 20:59–22:08

• Orcas off Spain & in the Mediterranean attacking and sinking boats:
  • “Moved up here to get away from the blacks and now they’re in the water. Oh my God, it’s eating her boat.” (John Holmberg, 21:15)
    (Note: Riffing as an oblivious caricature—typical of the show’s irreverent, dark humor)
• Jokes about the cost of a “‘yacht’”—possibly just a “double-wide.”

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11. SeaWorld—How Did They Train Those Animals?

Timestamp: 22:26–24:31

• How did humans first capture and train killer whales and dolphins? Hypothetical conversations about “taming” animals, the ethics and ingenuity (and absurdity) of the first animal trainers.

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12. History Discovery: WWI Bottled Messages Found

Timestamp: 28:01–29:03

• In Australia, a family finds 1916 bottled messages from WWI soldiers. One soldier died, the other survived; letters returned to descendants.
• Crew jokes about what would happen if similar messages today included embarrassing personal confessions:
  • “Just for the fun of it, I think I’m going to write a note about how much I used to quietly and secretly love to blow Brady Bogan on a regular basis.” (John Holmberg, 28:51)

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13. Decor Vandals & Neighborhood Unity

Timestamp: 30:34–31:56

• A Halloween hater in Seattle destroys decorations including a Bob Ross skeleton—neighbors restore the display:
  • “But I bet you even Bob Ross wouldn’t think that’s a happy little accident.” (Unidentified Host, 31:53)

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14. Brady Videos: The Truly Grotesque

Timestamps: 33:02–44:40

• The regular segment of “brady videos” includes commentary on:
  • AI-generated viral video of fat people rolling downhill.
  • Skin condition oddities, a calf with a second facial structure, and a vomiting woman in a bathtub (trigger warning!).
• Jokes about snot, bodily fluids, and viewer-submitted fails (texting while driving, workplace accidents).

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Notable Quotes

• “If candy corn was good, we’d have it all the time. It’s the same as tamales. No one goes over to anybody’s tamale house in April and we’re making tamales. Bleh.” (John Holmberg, 03:42)
• “Took them 17 years to figure out how to make stuff red again without killing us.” (John Holmberg, 05:12)
• “You’re unhappy and depressed. Yeah. I think it’s probably bad for you.” (John Holmberg, 09:52)
• “If you’re walking around… coming in hot as a nine...a three is going to knock you out.” (John Holmberg, 10:05)
• “A lot of times you hear that: This guy was amazing... happiest guy I knew... and he immediately killed himself.” (John Holmberg, 16:30)
• “She got Fabioed.” (John Holmberg, 17:51)
• “Why did you guys cave so fast? What were you doing? ‘We were starving them until they did the jumps.’” (John Holmberg, 22:27)
• “Moved up here to get away from the blacks and now they’re in the water. Oh my God, it’s eating her boat.” (John Holmberg, 21:15 – in character for dark comic effect)
• “Just for the fun of it, I think I’m going to write a note about how much I used to quietly and secretly love to blow Brady Bogan on a regular basis.” (John Holmberg, 28:51)
• “But I bet you even Bob Ross wouldn’t think that’s a happy little accident.” (Unidentified Host, 31:53)

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Memorable Moments & Humor

• Pet Costumes: The deadpan description of dog responses to costumes.
• Happiness Scale Honesty: The hosts candidly (and pessimistically) rate themselves, leading to a wider commentary on happiness, contentment, and suspicion of “nines.”
• SeaWorld & Animal Rights: Satirical takes on how SeaWorld trainers "motivated" whales, darkly riffing on the company’s fall from grace.
• Absurd “Brady Videos”: Outlandish, grotesque clips spark both disgust and guilty laughter, especially the AI fat roller and “Vag Bay” segment.
• Disrupted Halloween: The restoration of Bob Ross by neighbors offers a rare “happy little” ending amid comic destruction.

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Episode Structure & Flow

• Show opens with offbeat food/holiday observations and segues through quick bits of trivia and stats.
• Transition into more substantive banter on happiness and health, giving way to major news stories (SeaWorld, bottled message discovery).
• Recurrent return to lighter, often absurd “Brady videos,” alongside running inside jokes (pet peeves, personal histories).
• Throughout, maintains fast-paced, irreverent tone, typical of the show.

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Timestamps for Reference

• Candy Corn/Junk Food Rant: 03:42–04:33
• M&Ms & Candy Trivia: 04:33–06:08
• Pet Costumes Discussion: 07:45–09:34
• Happiness Study Segment: 09:39–11:36
• SeaWorld Lawsuit Segment: 17:41–22:26
• WWI Bottled Messages Segment: 28:01–29:03
• Halloween Vigilante Story: 30:34–31:56
• Brady Videos Segment: 33:02–44:40

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Conclusion

Even as the episode veers gleefully into dark and scatological humor, the hosts never lose sight of their commitment to lampooning the modern American mind: anxieties over happiness, our obsession with pets, and the unending parade of uniquely weird news. Whether you find them offensive or cathartic, Holmberg and crew’s snarky camaraderie and willingness to “laugh at the pain” remain undiminished.

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Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Unidentified Host 1]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[Ranch House Grill Announcer]

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[John Holmer]

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[Ranch House Grill Announcer]

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[John Holmer]

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[Unidentified Host 1]

Good Thursday morning to Phoenix. Hello, world. Happy national Candy Corn Day.

[John Holmer]

Gross. Gross. And I stand by what I always say. If candy corn was good, we'd have it all the time. It's the same as tamales. I know, I know. Calm down. But tamales aren't good or there'd be tamale restaurants. No one goes over to anybody's tamales house in April and we're making tamales. Blech. No thanks. Candy corn, Fruit. That fruitcake cranberries and just that horrible tamales. Those are the four. They stick by and go. If they were good, we'd eat them all. And peeps. Gotta put peeps in there too. Peeps aren't good and we know it because they only come up at Easter.

[Unidentified Host 1]

And now they're rolling out some at Christmas. They try.

[John Holmer]

Nobody wants them, though. They're pushing peeps on you. But they're only good for one time a year.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Got a couple of basis fun facts. It's been 30 years since Eminem's nix the color tan.

[John Holmer]

Huh.

[Unidentified Host 1]

There used to be a. Oh, nixed.

[John Holmer]

I thought you said mixed.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah, got rid of. Yeah, got rid of it. They gave the public three options, three choices. Blue, purple and pink. Blue one. It's been almost 50 years since the orange was introduced.

[John Holmer]

What were they? Just because red was poison, they dropped the red.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah. Due to the red dye scare.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Red dye three or whatever it was.

[Unidentified Host 1]

They brought it back in 1987 with a different red dye coloring.

[John Holmer]

It took him 17 years to figure out how to make stuff red again without killing us. Has anybody died from M and M poisoning?

[Unidentified Host 1]

That I don't know.

[John Holmer]

Anybody had like, cancer. And they're like, how many M and M's did you used to eat before they changed it? Because I ate loads M and M's when I was a kid, so I'm sure the. Well, no. 72. You said they stopped. There weren't red ones. Well, 50 years ago it was like 75.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

So.

[Unidentified Host 1]

And then it was. Yeah. 12 years later. 87.

[John Holmer]

12 years ago. How do we make red not kill people?

[Unidentified Host 1]

And how much did that red dye? And yet in other candies.

[John Holmer]

One of my favorite candies, like, we're.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Still using it spree in our cherry chance.

[John Holmer]

Brie was a cherry chance?

[Dick Toledo]

Probably.

[John Holmer]

Well, I don't know if they had red dye. There was something weird going on with that. But they dyed the sugar so it had to be Eminem poisoning. I wonder if it's a thing.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Anything about jawbreakers. Anything that had the red thing. Yeah.

[John Holmer]

Sprees were the best. They would melt on your fingers, turn your fingers. Colors, Skittles. There are tons of red ones.

[Unidentified Host 1]

No one knows exactly when people started using the phrase Jesus H. Christ or what the H stands for. But Mark Twain, Horatio said in his autobiography that people were already using it when he was a kid. That would have been in the mid-1800s.

[John Holmer]

Mark Twain brought it up during this.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Conversation in his autobiography years ago. He said, when I was in my.

[John Holmer]

Teens, people said Jesus H. Christ.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yep.

[John Holmer]

I think it's Horatio. Did we ever know Jesus middle name? Did anyone keep accurate records on this guy?

[Unidentified Host 1]

Was it Jesus? Hosanna Christ.

[John Holmer]

Wouldn't it with a J, though?

[Brett Vesely]

It'd be Herbert.

[John Holmer]

Herbert. You like Herbert.

[Unidentified Host 1]

But we've thrown the.

[Byron]

We've.

[Unidentified Host 1]

We've thrown the H in there in the. I don't know when.

[John Holmer]

Right.

[Unidentified Host 1]

But that's the point of the story.

[John Holmer]

No one knows. That's the earliest recollection is Mark Twain saying, I think I've heard it before.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah. There are no black majority owners in the MLB and NFL, NBA and NHL. Not one Michael Jordan. Used to be.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. The Charlotte Hornets. Right.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Sold majority stake to the Charlotte Hornets in 2023.

[John Holmer]

What about magic Johnson's not majority on any of his stuff. He's Dodgers. That's. That should change, probably. There isn't one black owner in the NFL. I guess not. They're all just rednecks around.

[Unidentified Host 1]

16% of us, 1 in 6 think that pets actually enjoy dressing up for Halloween. A full 40% think they're either. They either like it or at least don't mind. I feel our way. Ziggy doesn't seem to mind, but he likes wearing short shirts and stuff.

[John Holmer]

Does he go get him himself. That's how you know if a dog likes it. Dog will go get you a leash.

[Unidentified Host 1]

He'll.

[John Holmer]

He'll go get his shirt.

[Unidentified Host 1]

He'll bite the shirt, like, and bring it over there. And, like.

[John Holmer]

He'll bring it to you, like, put this on me.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah. If the shirt is not, like, we could say. We haven't been able to say, go get your shirt. But if there was one, like, there's a little stack of them.

[John Holmer]

He'll go over there, he'll go pick a shirt.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

And he brings it up like I'm cold or something. Gordon gets dressed up a lot. Gordon was a vampire the other day. And it's. I don't think he likes it at all. Sometimes he wears this old man sweater.

[Unidentified Host 1]

And Ollie's just kind of indifferent. You put it on him, he's like, yeah.

[John Holmer]

And on football Sunday, I used to put on my dog Jack Raphael Ham. I would get a number 59 Jack Ham jersey.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

For Jack to wear. And I'd have to tie it up so. Because otherwise it went past his pee pee, and he'd pee on it. And then it just turned into this weird kind of sexy halter top on a dog. This little, you know, knot on the back of it. It was around his chest, like it Looks a little gay. And he hated it. He would just sit in the middle of the yard and stare back at everybody like, I hate you so much. Take the shirt off. He was fine. Bustle wear anything. I could put like armor on bus. And he'd just walk around laughing like, that dog is funny all the time around.

[Unidentified Host 1]

A third of Americans are planning on dressing up their pets for Halloween.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, it's official, we've lost it.

[Unidentified Host 1]

New study found that if you're happiness scale of 1 to 10 and being the happiest. Sure, if you're hovering around a 3, it could affect your health in a big way.

[John Holmer]

You're unhappy and depressed. Yeah. I think it's probably bad for you.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Research shows that loving life comes with lots of health benefits. Less likely to get sick. You're happy and content.

[John Holmer]

More likely to get punched in the face by a sad person though, if you're really kind of out and out too happy. If you're walking around, you know, coming in hot as a nine in the happy scale and you're letting everybody know it, a 3 is going to knock you out.

[Dick Toledo]

If you're giving yourself.

[Unidentified Host 1]

They're saying the three is.

[Dick Toledo]

Call it a one.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

What is the scale?

[John Holmer]

Because he's even thinking to himself, I'm a three. This is bad, but I know it could get worse.

[Unidentified Host 1]

So the study found that on average the minimum number before you see any health Benefits is a 2.7. That once you're above that, basically a 3 or higher.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Host 1]

You'll see more health benefits the higher you go from there.

[John Holmer]

Well, yeah, you're going to get better. As you get better when you're miserable.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, you're getting anybody that's willing to go, oh, I'm a 2.2.

[Unidentified Host 1]

I'm about a 2. 6.

[John Holmer]

I hate my wife. I hate those kids. My house sucks. My job's the worst. I'm ugly. I'm about a three. Where, where do you find joy?

[Dick Toledo]

What is joy?

[Unidentified Host 1]

I don't know.

[John Holmer]

Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm a two.

[Unidentified Host 1]

The next game.

[John Holmer]

I guess you've talked me out of being a three. That's the optimist in me and you just killed that. I'm a one. I guess things could turn around. Is there a rock bottom answer? I wanna, I wanna go to this study. Hey, pal, on a scale of 1 to 10, how happy you think you are, I'm a 9. I'm going to knock you out. You're just annoying. I just punch you. I'm a two. Hey buddy, don't come in so happy Hot on a two. You don't know my day.

[Unidentified Host 1]

China has rolled out a new law requiring influencers to prove their qualifications before posting about topics like finance, health or law. It'll be interesting on how they qualify them, but they're gonna like you need to verify before you post on something.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Host 1]

What makes you qualified?

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo from the Morning Sickness for our new friends at Underdog and with the NBA season now underway, Underdog is the best place to get in on all the action. Because playing on Underdog is easy. Just pick whether your favorite player or players will go higher or lower on stats like points, assists, rebounds, steals and get your picks right and you can win up to 5,000 times your cash. Just download the app today and use the promo code HMS to score $100 in bonus funds or bonus entries when you play your first $5. That's promo code HMS Underdog make picks win money must be 18 plus, 19 plus in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games, 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where Underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms dfs.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Mar. Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call the 24.7HOPE line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY to 467369.

[John Holmer]

It's John Holmer here for game day men's health being in shape, it's not easy. In fact, it's not fun. The older you get, the harder it is to stay in shape. Excuses get in the way a lot of the times, but sometimes our bodies just stop cooperating. You don't produce the same way you did 10 years ago. And that's true no matter how old you are. And when you hit 50, forget it. You really feel the difference. But since I wasn't showing signs of gains with my workouts, we looked into peptides and I'm feeling a massive difference. Medically supervised, completely safe, my energy is great. If you think you need a little help like I did, just go to gamedaymen's health.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness Guy says.

[Dick Toledo]

I'll be a dick. I'm so happy right now. I'm in my Tesla, driving in the HOV lane, going 100 miles an hour in auto drive mode.

[John Holmer]

Nine out of 10 definitely a nine out of 10. I'm not going to give you a 10 because you could be getting a BJ.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

That's the only thing missing. So you do. I just made him go, oh, so that's a nine.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, I'm turning around.

[John Holmer]

I'm going back. I'm gonna get one of those. This one says Brady's an idiot. I googled Jesus H. Christ and AI gave me a full explanation and then he didn't get into it.

[Brett Vesely]

You want me to look it up?

[John Holmer]

Yeah, exactly. What would you rank yourself on? A happy scale, Brady. Like a real happy scale. Not your rose colored glasses. Like what is real? The one that sits in the bathroom goes, I gotta make some changes. Like that guy.

[Unidentified Host 1]

I'd put it about a. About a seven.

[John Holmer]

You're a seven and a half scale.

[Dick Toledo]

Which in his pretty good scale we as we know means he's probably closer to eight or nine.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. I think I'm around four. Four Steelers stuck. I'm struggling with that.

[Dick Toledo]

I got, yeah, probably about five or six.

[John Holmer]

I like a lot of things I'm not ecstatic about much.

[Dick Toledo]

Really?

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

I like my dogs. They make me happy. So they'll like a murmur on them that's like. But I mean like things make me happy. It's just not. I'm not running around going, isn't this great? Like I see like I get annoyed real fast.

[Brett Vesely]

Like Ed.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Downstairs ed's probably an 8 or a 9. Half time you just want to take a swing at him and there's no reason.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know if that's a genuine nine.

[John Holmer]

Nope.

[Dick Toledo]

I think it presents it as a nine.

[John Holmer]

That's what a nine is. That's what you just think. You look at. You look at truly annoyingly happy people as a normal person and you're like, what's this? What is he doing? And you get angry. Super happy people, they're annoying.

[Unidentified Host 1]

I met Ed's wife over the weekend.

[John Holmer]

Probably a nice lady.

[Unidentified Host 1]

They're high school sweethearts and they are.

[John Holmer]

Bothers me too.

[Brett Vesely]

Jesus.

[Unidentified Host 1]

It's almost still like their high school sweetheart.

[Dick Toledo]

It's almost still like they're not quite.

[John Holmer]

What? They start doing homework together. What?

[Unidentified Host 1]

Making out.

[John Holmer]

They were making out.

[Brett Vesely]

She was wearing a letterman jacket, class ring on her chain.

[Unidentified Host 1]

She's.

[John Holmer]

Can't stay long. Got to go to the. The sock. No, I. And I like Ed, but I just like when he's too happy or too kind. You're like, you're up to something. Nobody trusts a happy guy. Yes.

[Unidentified Host 1]

This can't Be real.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, exactly. Because. No, because. Have you seen outside?

[Dick Toledo]

What do you hide?

[John Holmer]

Like there's. Have you. Do you have the Internet? What are you so happy about? You can be moderately okay, but the second you start telling everybody you're nine, you're just not paying attention to the world.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Which is wild because a lot of times you hear that this guy was amazing.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Happiest guy I knew. Yeah.

[John Holmer]

And that's immediately killed himself. Yeah, right, right, exactly. They're the ones who are putting on a show.

[Dick Toledo]

Wow, that took a dark turn.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Well, the owner of the Buddy.

[Dick Toledo]

I forgot about that.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah. First time you meet him, everyone say, what an amazing guy. And like, there were a couple that's like, this can't be real.

[John Holmer]

Right. He offed himself. This one says, Brady, you're no. 7. Maybe if you had another kidney, but until then, you're a four buddy, just like the rest of us. That's right. If you don't have all your organs, you can't be a static.

[Unidentified Host 1]

But I guess that's the way I looked at it too, because I did when you asked me that, like. Well, there's a part of the missing the kidney, but then I. The happiness comes that I feel fortunate.

[John Holmer]

To where I'm sure.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Sure it could have been a lot worse. Surgery pretty bad though, right?

[John Holmer]

Yeah. I mean, you still tool around with.

[Unidentified Host 1]

One, but the functioning of the kidney could be worse.

[John Holmer]

Sure. You know, it could be worse. So is your life philosophy.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

In that category, that should be. Hey, things could be worse, so enjoy.

[Unidentified Host 1]

It while you got it.

[John Holmer]

I suppose that's an annoying message, but.

[Unidentified Host 1]

There's this woman in Orlando, Florida. She's suing Sea World after she was enjoying the Mako roller coaster and a duck flew in her face and knocked her out.

[John Holmer]

She got Fabioed.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

That's a good roller coaster too.

[Unidentified Host 1]

She wants 50 grand at sea World.

[John Holmer]

Oh, no kidding.

[Dick Toledo]

If it's the one in San Diego, they have one called the Mako.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah, that's probably the same one.

[John Holmer]

Wow. I didn't even know they had roller coasters at SeaWorld.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, they got a bunch of rides.

[John Holmer]

Now because they're waiting for all the whales to die because they can't have.

[Unidentified Host 1]

No, they started rolling in the rides a while back because of the.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, because they got it coming up. Well, they also got to kill all the whales.

[Unidentified Host 1]

They. They have a lot of shows, but they're.

[Dick Toledo]

They have a lot of shows.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, they're grandfathered in. You're allowed to have whale shows till those whales shows that's what I'm saying. You can have, like I say, shows. Not the jumpy stuff, but, like, they're in tanks still. Because I can't let them go.

[Dick Toledo]

That's the only thing you can. It's like an aquarium now, because they don't. They don't perform it.

[Unidentified Host 1]

They do the dolphins, right? And dolphins, they do walrus, maybe.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. How badly were they beavers? How badly were they beating those animals that they just said, all right, we'll stop. Because if you weren't, I think it.

[Dick Toledo]

Was the video of that gal being taken down by her ponytail.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah. The trainer.

[John Holmer]

No, that's not it.

[Dick Toledo]

You don't think so?

[John Holmer]

They didn't care about the humans. That wasn't why they were like that. Something's wrong with the whales. And they're like, you're right, we better stop. Because most of the time, if I was a dog trainer, and they're like, we're shutting you down. I'm like, I'll show you what I do. It's not bad. Like, if I wasn't doing anything horrible and somebody tried to shut me down and be like, no, no, no, you've got. You're. You're wrong. And I would show you. This is how we train them. And it's totally great. It's humane, and they love it. But SeaWorld got the heat for a while and then finally just said, you're right, we're horrible.

[Unidentified Host 1]

We got to stop wherever it was. And I know that the. The documentary, it was at Spain or whatever, the court, you know, they just didn't have good areas that they're keeping.

[John Holmer]

The little five. Bankroll. That's the eight o' clock word. Bankroll. Get on that. Take it in the app. Put Bankroll in the 8 o' clock promo code. Maybe $1,000 like our friends Ryan and Eric have already done. Yeah. SeaWorld just kind of caved in, and everybody's all right. That's. That. Can we have caved quickly? They did, and it was no more new sea creatures. The one when they die, it's over.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. I don't know what they do now because they still have a rescue program.

[John Holmer]

Well, the rescue thing is different. But they're supposed to rehabilitate them. Right. And then put them where.

[Dick Toledo]

Where do they rebuild?

[John Holmer]

And they could make a killer whale.

[Unidentified Host 1]

I think in San Diego, there's a big pen where they Rehab. Rehab.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, it's on the bay.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

Think of this, though. Of course, the killer whales, how fast did they acquiesce to the tricks they're killer whales.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Amazing how fast they.

[John Holmer]

Well, I know. I mean what were we doing to make them go, hey, jump or else?

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know. We pissed off enough of them that they've taken down a few.

[John Holmer]

We took their food away.

[Unidentified Host 1]

They were. It seemed like they're treat trained most of them.

[John Holmer]

They're food motivated. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

When they had the dancing chickens at Rawhide with the electric, they're saying they.

[John Holmer]

Were electrifying the water and Shamu just kept jumping out like it burns. Every time he got out of the water he'd scream that. And we couldn't understand whale. And look at him go. He's just enjoying the hell out of himself out there. That's Shamu. And know that his back fin being off is not a sign of frustration or sadness. There he goes.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, this is what's happening now. They're attacking boats and sinking.

[John Holmer]

Good. Well, that's their job.

[Mo]

Same pod reportedly attacking another boat.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, think that.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh my God.

[Mo]

It's the latest in a series of aggressive.

[John Holmer]

Oh my God. I've never seen such a thing here off Long Island. What is that? We moved up here to get away from the blacks and now they're in the water. Oh my God. It's eating her boat.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yep.

[Mo]

And Last year this128,000 yacht was taken down by a pot of orcas in the Mediterranean.

[John Holmer]

All of a sudden I felt a really looks like someone who owns a hundred and twenty eight thousand dollars yacht. By the way, it sounds impressive because the word yachts, but that's the cost of a trailer.

[Unidentified Host 1]

That's 18 foot entry fee.

[John Holmer]

It isn't a yacht so much as it is just a hobbyist's boat. Oh my God. A yacht. It's not a yacht. It's a double wide. No, it's a yacht. It's a floating yacht. We got hit by killer whales. The whole pod.

[Unidentified Host 1]

The lady that wants the 50k from SeaWorld. The lawsuit also claimed that the Mako roller coaster disoriented birds and increased the risk of collision.

[John Holmer]

How high is this thing and what is the.

[Unidentified Host 1]

What kind of magic is the coaster doing?

[John Holmer]

The birds are like, I'm hitting that.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Whoa.

[John Holmer]

Tired of these people having that much fun. Birds are three and people on that roller coaster are nines and birds are taking them down. Yeah, I'm curious about SeaWorld. I want to talk to a SeaWorld executive and just go. Why did you guys cave so fast? What were you doing? We were starving them until they did the jumps.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Well, there were multiple attacks on trainers. And then one guy jumped the fence.

[John Holmer]

Nobody cares.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Go joy swimming.

[John Holmer]

That's the risk. That's the cost of doing business with killer whales. Some of the trainers aren't gonna make it. I like that. There was a dude who first said, I bet you I could train that thing to do stuff. Yeah, you crazy? You're gonna try to make him do tricks. I'm gonna ride it. All right.

[Unidentified Host 1]

You can't ride that.

[John Holmer]

Leon, hang on to this first thing. I'll be right back.

[Unidentified Host 1]

We've been doing it with dolphins. Let's.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Well, that's another one of the first ones are like, I'd like to ride those. I wonder if they'd let me do it. Like, water ski. What came first? Water skis or dudes just dragging around on dolphin backs? I bet you a dolphin guy that's. That to me is human ingenuity. Like, we saw killer whale and said, I'm gonna tame that thing and I'm gonna make it do tricks. And then people will pay for my amazing killer whale. And then somewhere along the line, they're like, we need more of these. And then went and captured them.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Great white.

[John Holmer]

That's one thing right there. Now, that would be an impressive SeaWorld.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Show, but the Capturing a killer whale.

[Dick Toledo]

Is also pretty impressive. How do you trick them to go into. It's not like getting your dog into a kennel.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Well, the biggest thing on the cookies.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Go and chum into the water and then you slam the door behind them.

[Unidentified Host 1]

And I got.

[John Holmer]

I gotta start doing jumps.

[Byron]

Right.

[Dick Toledo]

And then how do you calm them down if you've like.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Well, you take. You take the natural, like, kind of kill urge when you're feeding them. Like, I don't worry about my.

[John Holmer]

But still food. You can do that with wolves too. And they get trusting of you, but they still.

[Unidentified Host 1]

We eventually did that.

[John Holmer]

But you can't domesticate, you know, for dogs for the most part.

[Unidentified Host 1]

It's Brady from the HMS Crew for Game Day Men's Health, the valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did and schedule a complimentary appointment, which is quick and easy. You'll meet with a board certified. Certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you. Whether you need more energy, medical, weight loss or sexual health treatments. Game Day Men's Health Clinic is a true game changer. Go to gameday phoenix.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. Get back in the game with Game Day Men's Health.

[Michael]

This is Michael with Restore My Civil rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my second second amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation today.

[John Holmer]

Holmberg's morning sickness. The wolves coming out of the wild. It took 50 generations of took a while coyotes before they could make it to where one wouldn't like default back to coyote. Natural feelings. 50 generations before. Like, we can't trust these things. It's in them.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Doesn't take too long for dogs to.

[John Holmer]

Oh, yeah, yeah. When they go feral and start picking it out. But they're not in as good a shape as like that. But like a killer whale born in captivity. I suppose you could start training them when they're real little.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, that's probably what it is.

[John Holmer]

SeaWorld was up to some something. I never understood why we paid top dollar to go to a place to have somebody just throw water on us. Like, it was like you walked out of there, so it was stinky.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Well, they love those. Yeah. Well then on top of that, I mean, the rides, you get those log rides.

[John Holmer]

But still SeaWorld was like, hey, this fish's toilet is going to get splashed on you if you're in the front row.

[Dick Toledo]

About this text. You guys said this, but they actually had to stop doing shows with the whales because of what the whale that took the trainer down. It was the trainer's fault. She was not where she was supposed to be. My daughter interned with her and was training and working with her when that happened. My daughter is still one of the head trainers at SeaWorld. OSHA made it so that they can't do whale shows unless they can get a whale out of the tank within 30 seconds. And that's not possible. So they don't get in the water with anymore. In case there's an emergency, like somebody falls in the water, you got to get that whale out of there. If they can't do that in 30 seconds, into another pen.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Wait, no show.

[John Holmer]

If you're in the water, the whale will eat you.

[Dick Toledo]

No, it's.

[Unidentified Host 1]

They just want it out. Ocean. Ocean.

[Brett Vesely]

Thanks, osha.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, OSHA put some, you know, requirements on them.

[John Holmer]

They're already in the water. That's the point of the show.

[Dick Toledo]

Gotta be able to move them quickly to another pen.

[Unidentified Host 1]

And you can't have those gates where they open up to put them in the outdoor pen. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

So you saw Jaws 3?

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Well, I know how I got that. Jaws 3D and the pens were not good enough. So they just whip the whale and try to get it to go into the. They had to.

[Unidentified Host 1]

I think it's like when things. You know, in the circus with the lions.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Host 1]

They have those cages. Something goes wrong.

[John Holmer]

I think Brett's right. I think that water was electrified. And they were special suits that didn't conduct electricity. And those whales were just getting shocked to the beach. Jesus. SeaWorld.

[Unidentified Host 1]

This family in Australia was cleaning up a shoreline in Wharton beach when their daughter found a bottle containing letters. They opened up the bottle in two letters. One was from Malcolm Alexander Neville and the other was William Kirk Harley. They were soldiers serving in World War I, 1916.

[John Holmer]

Found the bottle.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah. When they got on the ship and getting deployed, they.

[John Holmer]

Was it a note about how the two of them had turned gay during the war and now they're going to tell their great grandkids. Your grandfather wasn't a hero so much as he was a homosexual back in the time. And that wasn't. Okay.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Track down the relatives.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Host 1]

And they got him the letter back. The one guy died in. In the war. The other one survived.

[John Holmer]

Just for the fun of it, I think I'm gonna write a note about how much I used to quietly and secretly love to blow Brady Bogan on a regular basis. In 100 years, it'd be like calling Kirby's kids.

[Unidentified Host 1]

This would be a new entry on your Wikipedia page.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. I wouldn't care about me so much, but just Brady has his daughter and his daughter would be like 80. Hey, man, they found a note. My dad's old co worker wrote. Evidently used to hum on my old man quite a bit, man.

[Unidentified Host 1]

We can speed it up. Just lob it in Tempe Town.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, yeah. See if you find a message in a bottle, it says, I like to secretly blow Brady all the time.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, that'll get found sooner. Just don't. They drain that every once in a while and clean it?

[John Holmer]

Yeah. I don't know if they drain it. I think sometimes there's a leak.

[Unidentified Host 1]

I don't know if they can.

[John Holmer]

I don't know about the clean clean in Tempe Town Lake anytime soon. The Italians would lose their minds. There's some guys with something plenty deep enough for the Italians. If you promise not to clean it. Yeah, as long as you guys aren't going down there with still driving me.

[Unidentified Host 1]

There's a giant coin floater in there.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, that's a message in a bottle. That must have come all the way from Rural Road. I'm just gonna chuck it over. I'm gonna head over to Tempe Marketplace and just throw my. My Brady blowjob message into the Tempe Town Lake. And future generations can go. There used to be sort of pseudo celebrities in town. And evidently, behind the world's back. They gave each other oral pleasures every day. I gotta call his daughter. Hey, man, what's going on? Remember your father? Yeah, it's been a while. Oh, man. What's up? John Hobart used to blow him on the reg. Did you know? Here's the letter. It's proven. There's pictures of him and it's great.

[Unidentified Host 1]

It's a fact. Like a good Bogan. She'll say. No, I don't think that was.

[John Holmer]

Oh, man. No. They were just napping.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Man, There's a Halloween hater in Seattle. He walked up to someone's yard display on Tuesday and torched it. Kicked over a casket. Tossed a skeleton dressed like painter Bob Ross set on fire. Oh, and he started tossing more decorations on top. It almost spread to the house, but thankfully the neighbors chased him off. Put the fire out. He's lighting clear if the cops have any leads. But the story does have a happy ending. A bunch of neighbors came over the next day and helped to clean up. They brought over some new decorations. Bob Ross has been restored.

[John Holmer]

Good.

[Unidentified Host 1]

There he is. Skelly.

[John Holmer]

Bob Ross. That's the worst Bob Ross I've ever seen.

[Unidentified Host 1]

But you look at it, you think that's Bob Ross.

[John Holmer]

No, I don't. I look at it. Just looks like a chair.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, that doesn't.

[John Holmer]

How does it look like Bob Ross? It's a skeleton with a curly wig on. It's not even an Afro. Bob Ross's hair wasn't that long. Is he painting?

[Unidentified Host 1]

At least.

[John Holmer]

He'S sitting down. When did Bob Ross ever sit down? That's a terrible Bob Ross. It looks like Bette Midler.

[Unidentified Host 1]

But I bet you even Bob Ross wouldn't think that's a happy little accident.

[John Holmer]

Well, you don't light Bob Ross on fire and have him come out of a truck smiling. I am so hell bent on the idea of multiple bottles all over the world. Wherever I go, I'm gonna drop a bottle that I blow Brady and just like on it. Here's a crude drawing of Brady's favorite position. Reverse cowboy Brady. I'm a reverse cowboy. That's my nickname. In the secret society of John and.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Brady, Bunny ends up finding one in Lake Erie.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, it's in her pool. There's a bottle in our bathtub. John's leaving these everywhere. I just want that to be. I want history to be rewritten by some sort of dated 2001 miraculous, stupid thing. He didn't want to tell his parents he was a homosexual, so I. I took care of his credible desires and his appetite for blow jobs.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Got a couple of Brady videos.

[John Holmer]

He also loved a finger in his bottom. Yeah.

[Unidentified Host 1]

First one's a new. Real quick.

[Dick Toledo]

First of all, for. I don't know if you guys saw this already, but somebody said in they have a retro candy box that they got delivered to their house just yesterday.

[John Holmer]

It's got all the sugar babies, razzles, candy smokes, and the acid pack.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Chuckles.

[John Holmer]

Chuckles are. They're jelly sugar. Oh. Oh, they're so good. Chuckles.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holmer]

Oh, Chuckles are. Chuckles were good.

[Dick Toledo]

I remember the caramel creams. Wasn't a big fan of those either.

[John Holmer]

I like those that had the.

[Dick Toledo]

The marshmallowy or whatever.

[John Holmer]

Cream pie.

[Dick Toledo]

Sugar.

[John Holmer]

It's a sugar bowl. That's kind of a cool thing. You order that online?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, apparently. Retro candy box, huh?

[John Holmer]

Okay. The candy cigarettes were good. They're just not good for kids. Like, candy. Heroin. It would be the same thing. And which was liquor made. They taught you how to do cocaine with that stick, and you dip it out of the coat.

[Dick Toledo]

That one had fun. Dip.

[John Holmer]

Okay, here's got a new one.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Wart. A new wart man. I don't think I've seen this guy.

[John Holmer]

Before, but this dude is head to toe.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Warts. These things are draping. It's like grapes.

[John Holmer]

Hey, guys. It's been a while since you've seen Jay Leno, but evidently I'm coated in watts now. It's old denim. He's in a 100 denim outfit. Did he just pop one?

[Dick Toledo]

I think so.

[Unidentified Host 1]

The nerve.

[John Holmer]

The nerve. He just squeezed one of his 10 million warts, and he got one. He's itchy. Said, you see this? You see? That's the news. I moved down to Mexico, and I turned into a wart man.

[Unidentified Host 1]

What's your happy skill, sir?

[John Holmer]

Well, I was at 10 until I woke up one morning covered in warts, you know, And I said, mavis, this is not good.

[Dick Toledo]

And the first lady in the country. Why do people in the comments think it's okay to laugh at A medical.

[John Holmer]

Condition because a dude's sitting in like a city square scratching his warts and then pops one that's looking at it, wipes it on his shirt.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Oops, I dropped it.

[John Holmer]

And then you know what I said right after that? But he said, one down. And I wiped it on my denim. And I just, you know, I turned myself into bubble wrap. I tried to get all of them.

[Dick Toledo]

But my question is, he's got, like, ear pods in. How does he.

[John Holmer]

Does he know air? Yeah, I guess when you start hearing.

[Dick Toledo]

Nope, nope, nope, there it is.

[John Holmer]

There it is. Through that sea of warts, I can now listen to Highly suspect.

[Unidentified Host 1]

This was an AI video that cracked me up. It's kind of. Remember that cheese rolling thing they do every year?

[John Holmer]

Okay, so they just fat people up and just gigantic fat people that's lying down a huge Irish hill. Look at. Oh, my God. Is AI the best thing that's ever happened to humanity? Look at the size of these hogs that the AI has created. Oh, my God. Oh, man. Look at the size. It makes me wish it was real. That's the worst part. H's morning morning sickness.

[Brett Vesely]

It's Brett Vesley from Holberg's Morning Sickness for Game Day Men's Health. Let's look, guys don't want to talk about or even think about things like testosterone replacement, erectile dysfunction, weight loss, or even peptide treatment. You figure, hey, I'm just getting older. It is what it is. Don't believe me? Then you really need to check out Game Day Men's Health. They're your go to men's health experts. Everything is done in house. None of this go here for a consultation, then go over here to have your labs done, then back again. I don't know about you, but that's a huge waste of time. So check them out online@Gamedaymen's Health.com John.

[John Holmer]

People are talking about Verlo Mattress in Glendale. No, I'm sure they are, Larry. They love the fact that you can mattress being made and that you can unzip and tune up your mattress. I love the side sleeper pillows. So do I. And they carry seven different side sleep pillows. Yeah. Did you know also they offer free delivery with a mattress purchase? I did. But I think it's even more important to know that right now they're offering a free adjustable base with the purchase of a V5 or better mattress. Larry, there's so many reasons to pick the right mattress for your body at Verlo Mattress in Glendale. It's made in the USA Family owned and operated by an Arizona native. That's Verlo Mattress in Glendale. Homburg's morning sickness. Look at the size of that wheel. And the lads charging after it. Oh, the red bearded fellas gone. He's down. The lads charging after it. All right, that's enough fat people rolling because I could watch that all day.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Back to real.

[John Holmer]

Oh, all right.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Calf with a tongue on the side of his throat.

[John Holmer]

Oh, a calf that's got another mouth growing out from its face under its ear. And its tongue is.

[Unidentified Host 1]

There's an eye, too.

[John Holmer]

It's got a second face popping. It's adorable. If it wasn't for that. But that. Yeah, that's the nation. I expect that's. Do they. They still have to make them drink their poo water. Yeah. No wonder those people do yoga all the time. I need to be relaxing every day if another one of my cows has grown a second face. They haven't had any nuclear incidents in India other than Bhopal, and that seemed to get everything. It's the only place we see double face nuclear. I thought it was battery.

[Dick Toledo]

That was like battery acid or something.

[John Holmer]

Oh, was it?

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

Either way, it affected all their cattle and stuff. Because the only nation you see that all that stuff happens regularly and they don't seem surprised by it is that acid.

[Dick Toledo]

But it was chemical, whatever it was.

[John Holmer]

Oh, it was a chemical spill, Right.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Fired up for the NBA.

[John Holmer]

Kevin Durant got the ball stolen. Maybe it was a space. Oh, and then the guy sm. Oh, God damn it. Okay. A guy for Brooklyn. That's a lot going on. Falls down onto the court. Yeah, it's clowny.

[Brett Vesely]

And he.

[John Holmer]

And when he falls down, he exhales. And then a lot of snots. Did you see that?

[Unidentified Host 1]

Okay, it's almost like he looks over. Are you seeing this?

[John Holmer]

That is a full loogie coming out of his right nostril. Those poor kids that have to come out and smell, push that around, because when they get sweat on the ground, they got a mop. Ugh.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Looks like it was slipping around on the floor pretty good. Oh, Playing into it. It was like bouncing.

[John Holmer]

Snot. Is.

[Unidentified Host 1]

I think that was a Just a cocaine.

[John Holmer]

I can tell, probably. I can take pus. I can take juice, man. Juice, poop. Any other snot. People start eating that or swimming around in that, I lose it. All right, Brett, what do you got? All right, that's gross.

[Brett Vesely]

Like, today.

[John Holmer]

So.

[Brett Vesely]

We'Ll start off with this.

[John Holmer]

Oh, geez, lady.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Was.

[John Holmer]

Oh, that sounds. Man. Those are a set of testicles It's a man dressed as a lady. And he's got something in his butt. He's being whipped with a cat o' nine tails.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Yikes.

[John Holmer]

And whipped on the sack. He's got right under the back of his balls. See, now this is where you ask me, what's your scale of happiness? And I get around an 8.

[Brett Vesely]

Some broad on TikTok while she's driving.

[John Holmer]

Oh, she's driving and texting and she's got cameras everywhere. Oh, we're drifting off into the wrong lane. She straightened it out on the stop sign. Oh, she stopped. All right. Good on you. Kid sees the stop sign, she's texting and driving like a pro. She's making a right. She's heading down this country road. 2 lane road. Back on the texting, though. She just can't stop sending that message. Yes, I want you 10 o', clock, meet me at. And then. Oh, she's drifting. Now we got oncoming traffic on the two lane. Oh, boy, this is taking a long time. She's drifted off to the right.

[Ranch House Grill Announcer]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[John Holmer]

And she starts crying. Your own fault, dummy. Yep, gotta race to the D. And.

[Brett Vesely]

We'Ve seen these kind of videos before.

[John Holmer]

But we're in one of these textile factories and there's a guy sitting there as a humongous spinning wheel behind him of paper.

[Dick Toledo]

Which one is gonna get it?

[John Holmer]

And he's pushing. He's. There's a guy up top that's on the other side of the spinning wheel. This guy's getting too close.

[Byron]

He's gone.

[Brett Vesely]

He's gone.

[John Holmer]

They just made paper out of him. Oh, it spun him around a couple times. Is he still in there? Where'd he go?

[Brett Vesely]

I think he's down here now.

[John Holmer]

Oh, this thing is going a million miles an hour.

[Dick Toledo]

I think parts of him are still in there.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, he's screwing. Screwing up paper. Oh, they're pulling him out the side. That's not good.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, I don't think that's gonna work.

[John Holmer]

No, I think he's going to clock them out. Yeah, boss gonna get mad if we got to pay his family any extra. Right. Oh, there he is. They just took the roll off.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Oh, he shook it off.

[Dick Toledo]

Did he get up?

[John Holmer]

Is he in there?

[Unidentified Host 1]

No. Oh, what's left?

[John Holmer]

Oh, that's what's left of.

[Unidentified Host 1]

It's just.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, there's just chunks of dude all over the place. What. What are they making there with that horrible machine?

[Unidentified Host 1]

It does look like.

[John Holmer]

Got to be a better way. Yeah, there's got to be a Way than the death spinner. You know, there's no safety at all around that thing. You just put your foot on it.

[Brett Vesely]

You've seen what country it was in.

[John Holmer]

We don't need any safety. If we're too stupid to not hit it, then we will survive. Otherwise.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's a hillbilly trying to get his.

[John Holmer]

Motorcycle in the back. Loading it up in the back of his truck. Got on the ramp. Little ladder. Ramp. Darn. Darn it all. Installed it. I gotta try to ride it up. Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm take some clothes off here. Thinks the problem was I was wearing too many layers. Horse, get rid of this coat. Gonna hop right on the bike. He is gonna jump. I know how to ride one of these. Not my first day. That's why I'm filming it. He's trying to. He's got the double ramp.

[Dick Toledo]

He's going into the house.

[John Holmer]

He's gonna jump his truck. Yep. Oh, no. He's going right into the. He fell out of the truck because he crashed into the back of his own truck. Truck. And he stood up. Dismount. Solid.

[Brett Vesely]

Now he's got to call Shane Orlando to get that truck.

[John Holmer]

That's all right. Shane will take care if you. If you're an idiot. Shane doesn't care.

[Brett Vesely]

And here's what happens.

[John Holmer]

There's a bunch of Palestinian people making a human chain off. They're in a crosswalk. I don't know if it looks like Spain or France or something or new. Oh, and a car. Just the cars just, like, don't care. Oh, my God. Just ran them over. And we'll just end with this. There was a Jew driving by. Didn't like that protest. Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

And we'll send with this for no apparent reason.

[Mo]

Oh, I gotta lose this baby fat.

[John Holmer]

Oh, God. Oh, it's a fat lady in a bathtub throwing up. Oh, what is going on? Oh, she's bathing in her own. You missed the good one there. Why is this woman doing this? No idea. It's a fat lady in a bathtub. Just look at the chunks. I was. I saw her. I saw her. Oh, you mean the puke. Oh, you puke. Okay, let's take another look at the third one. The third one's the one to pick. There's one that's just kind of the.

[Unidentified Host 1]

That's the water.

[John Holmer]

The open. That's just the water she's taking to get. Oh, nice. Look, Brady, you turn. This is a good one. That's the strongest.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Oh, God.

[John Holmer]

And look at the chunks.

[Unidentified Host 1]

That aren't her collecting in the bay. The vag bay?

[John Holmer]

Yeah, because she's sitting crisscross applesauce. So she's collecting in her little. I like vag bay. That might be a good band name too. Oh, my God. All right. Oh, my God. By the way, this guy says, I saw the video of that girl who crashed her car a little bit ago. She had rented that car from a private person who thought they could make some money by renting cars to people. It was the owners who put the camera in for liability. She tried to claim somebody ran her off the road. Like, well, let's take a look at the tape.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Oh, there's video?

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Oops.

[Dick Toledo]

Then she did that cry again.

[John Holmer]

Then she did that Scooby Doo noise when she. So it's like, let's get out of here, Scoob. We're caught in a lie, right? Told you not to lie, Shaggy. Like, you always lie, Scoob.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Unbelievable. On that two lane county road, cars are going 50.

[John Holmer]

That's fine. I'm good at texting and driving, but I'm not gonna do it on that road. Yeah, it's 8:29. I tried for a long time to be good person who didn't text and drive. I am. I can't not do it. Sometimes a funny joke pops up. Brett will send me something and I've got a response that if I don't do it right now, the world laughs a little less. The word is bankroll.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Can't wait to hear.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't have any video for that very reason. If I die, it's not going to be on videotape. I'm not offering that up. I don't even like social media. I won't have one of those, let alone.

[Unidentified Host 1]

So if you wreck, it's a fender bender or you lose control the side of the road and it's from texting. Yeah, just off yourself. Right.

[John Holmer]

Then if I'm on video. No. First off, I destroy the cameras. I'm like, oh, God, I just look like a jackass. That's my fault. No, I'm not loading my car up.

[Unidentified Host 1]

Brett, I need your help.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, that's who I'd call Brett Scrubber. The scrubber. I've done a lot of dumb stuff, starting with made my whole car a camera. I'm a pen. I got this.

[Unidentified Host 1]

I'll be there in 20 minutes.

[John Holmer]

Why would you incriminate yourself driving around with your own cameras? So I get $9 off a month for insurance. That's just gonna get you. It's 8:30. The word for 8 o' clock is bankroll. Bankroll. That's the one you put in the 8 o' clock box. You got about 10 more minutes of that 9 o'. Clock. We give you another one and you guys can get it together and win by taking it in the app. A thousand bucks and all you got to do is qualify. It's simple. We're not making you do much, but a little bit. Help us out there. Tell a friend, download the KUPD app, get the Bob's off our back. It's 98 KPD. There goes your birdie report.

[Unidentified Host 1]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually.

[John Holmer]

No membership fee. I've heard enough of this. It's John Holbert here. Time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins dot com. I just sat down with TVs Doug Hopkins and we did some TV commercials while we're watching football. So you get to see me sit next to Doug and somehow or another make Doug look pretty. And I'm happy to do it too. I bought and sold houses using Doug Hopkins. So I've been through the process and he's the real deal. He is not going to cancel or change the game with fine print contingencies. Simple cash offer and the deal is done. Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing.

[Mo]

Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu mo and don't just study tech, live it.