Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 10-30-25

Episode Theme:
A nostalgic and irreverent stroll through Halloween candy history, odd viral headlines, and sarcastic takes on recent news, including missing monkeys in the South, a controversial 'Take Your Kid to Work Day' incident, and Trump’s casual musing about nuclear testing.

Tone:
Playful, provocative, full of inside jokes, and loaded with the familiar chemistry of Holmberg, Vesely, Byron, and Toledo.

1. Nostalgic Halloween Candies: Disappearing Treats & Why They’re Gone

[01:08 – 19:01]

Main Discussion Points:

• Dominance of Mainstream Candies:

  • Modern Halloween has boiled down to the big names: Reese’s, Snickers, Kit Kats, Twix.
  • The forgotten "tiers" of candy—nougat-based or oddball brands—are fading fast.
  • John: “We’re down to the basics now... variety bags, the good stuff. And then you get to ‘tier 3’—the nougat-based ones, the stuff nobody really wanted.” [01:26]

• Old School Candies:

  • Discussion sparked by an article, “13 Old School Halloween Treats Unrecognizable to Today’s Kids.”
  • Brutal memories revived: wax-wrapped peanut butter kisses (“those are pretty much non-existent”), homemade popcorn balls, wax fangs/lips (now only in specialty stores), and bizarre items like “Nickel Nips” (wax bottles with flavored liquid).
  • John: “If Brett ever got this, he’d still be on somebody’s porch laughing... There was a candy out there... The Tootsie Roll people made Nickel Nips.” [03:39]
  • Group confusion and laughter about the names.
  • Byron: “I remember the bottles... but not being called that.” [04:30]
  • The process: bite through wax, drink syrup, chew the wax. “It was gross.” [04:46]

• Other Infamous Candies:

  • Chick-o-Sticks: “Only 90-year-olds eat Chick-o-Stick.” [05:10]
  • Sugar Babies vs. Milk Duds: “Just a poor man’s Milk Dud… Sugar Daddies rip your teeth out.” [05:54]
  • Modern failed fads: Sour Krabby Patties, Necco Wafers (“might as well eat chalk”), Mallo Cups, Boston Baked Beans, candy dots on paper, and candy cigarettes.
  • Memories of candies themed around adult behaviors: “They were training kids to eat acid and smoke… Candy cigarettes and candy acid tabs.” [07:00]

Notable Quotes:

• John (about candy cigarettes and childhood):
  “Are we less healthy today than when we were getting this? …We were chewing on fake cigarettes and cigars and pounding Nickel Nips... Practicing guzzling alcohol. Now this group of kids is supposed to be unhealthy?” [07:12]
• Byron: “How is candy corn still a thing?” [08:09]
• John (on Necco wafers): “That’s... just eat some chalk!” [08:48]

Listener Emails & Nicknames:

• Listeners emailed in about Chick-o-Stick’s jailhouse popularity and “Dick Downing,” a listener with a much-mocked name.
• John: “The best exercise they’ve ever gotten” (on making old people walk for tables with wrong names). [13:50]

2. Side Tangents & Emails: Listener Interactions

[13:50 – 19:01]

• Holmberg and the crew riff on goofy listener emails and names, poking fun at haters and typo-ridden first-time messages.
• Memorable moments include Holmberg’s stories about tormenting elderly restaurant guests with fake name calls and conversations about old candy in jail commissaries.

Notable Quotes:

• Byron: “Chicko sticks were the bomb and still are,” poking fun at emailer Scott’s typo (“chicken sticks”) [16:53]
• John: “Chicken sticks with a bomb still are when they’re fresh. …You shouldn’t be allowed in a car, let alone driving it.” [17:03]

3. News Oddities:

Escaped Test Monkeys in the South

[20:05 – 24:26]

• Recap of a recent news story: Police in Mississippi shot several escaped research monkeys, allegedly with STDs, after a truck accident.
  • Crew humorously debates what you do if you see a “STD monkey” on the loose.
  • Byron: “Were those Tootsie Rolls with the flavor centers?” [07:52]
  • John: “If you were in New Orleans, you got to kill that thing. I’m not gonna hang around and try to make friends with it—it’s an STD monkey.” [21:20]
• Another farcical incident in Texas: Someone’s pet monkey escaped inside Spirit Halloween, causing chaos.
  • Byron: “Well, it got away from him.” [21:53]
  • “People thought it was a decoration until it started screaming.” [22:23]

‘Take Your Daughter to Work’ Goes Wrong: Neurosurgery Edition

[24:29 – 32:55]

• Doctor brings 12-year-old daughter into brain surgery, lets her use the cranial drill “to create a hole in the patient’s skull.”
• Crew discusses the absurdity/ethics of ‘take your kid to work day’ in high-stakes jobs.
  • John: “If it was my dad...he used to do construction, sometimes he’d blow up a mountain to build a stadium. But surgery? That’s a little different.” [26:37]
  • “Sometimes people take their kids to work and their jobs suck... sometimes it’s brain surgery and a 12-year-old is holding the drill.” [29:01]
• John remains unapologetically hostile to the idea of bringing kids to the radio station for “take your kid to work day.”

Notable Quotes:

• John: “There are jobs where you can sometimes... but they tried that here... nobody does it because I dump so hard on ‘take your daughter to work day’.” [31:05]
• “The only person that likes it is that frigid lady…never had enough personality to land a man to put a baby in her…she loves other people’s kids because she never, nobody ever filled her up.” (a particularly biting Holmberg riff) [31:36]

4. Trump, Nukes, and Spectacle: “Should We Sell Tickets?”

[34:11 – 43:41]

• Trump muses publicly about restarting above-ground U.S. nuclear bomb testing, since “everyone else is doing it.”
  • John jokes about making it a public event—“He’d sell tickets to this, I guarantee it.” [34:28]
  • Crew riff on “Blow up Epstein Island!” and other sarcastic suggestions for test sites (Tucson, Portland, Cuba).
  • Imaginings of a “nuke show” with crowd barriers, safety goggles, food trucks—it’s “the new Burning Man.”

Notable Quotes:

• John: “You get into some steel room and then just jump in a refrigerator like Indiana Jones.” [38:12]
• Byron: “Trump’s not gonna just test them quietly. His ego’s way too big. He’s gonna make it a show.” [39:36]
• Byron:”You’d be blown away!” John:”That’s right.” [45:01]
• John: “Heath bars are like the Steak 44 of candy; you can’t have it all the time, but it’s precious when you do.” [19:42]

5. Musical Treats & Bow Wow Wow Rabbit Hole

[45:14 – End]

• With a flurry of Halloween-related song suggestions, Bow Wow Wow’s “I Want Candy” video triggers a discussion about the lead singer Annabella Lwin.
  • Realization she was only 15 when the famous video came out: “Can’t watch that video anymore—I feel creepy as ever. Who knew?” [48:33]
  • Banter about overlooked ‘80s icons and the ridiculousness of which pop figures were idolized.

Memorable Moments Recap

• On childhood candies:
  John: “Nickel nips are more plump and larger than your regular nips. That’s right. You get those flat nips, nobody likes those.” [08:25]
• On prison snacks:
  “Chicko sticks were popular in the jail commissary…everyone who’s been in jail is now telling me!” [19:01]
• On the kid in brain surgery:
  John: “So, she drew a dot on the person’s head that needed drilling and they put the DeWalt through the dude’s skull.” [29:00]
• On Trump’s nuke show:
  “He’s gonna make it a show. Burning Man this weekend—and in the distance, we’re gonna throw a mushroom…It’s gonna be great!” [39:15]

Key Timestamps Guide

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------|-----------------| | Halloween candy nostalgia & “weird” old treats| 01:08–19:01 | | Listener emails and riffs | 13:50–19:01 | | Escaped test monkeys in Mississippi | 20:05–24:26 | | 'Take Your Kid to Work' surgery scandal | 24:29–32:55 | | Trump’s nuclear test ticket event joke | 34:11–43:41 | | Musical treat picks (“I Want Candy” riff) | 45:14–End |

Final Thoughts

• The episode is both a trip down memory lane and a showcase of the HMS team’s irreverent voice, with no topic too silly or taboo—from ancient candy oddities to doomsday event planning.
• For a full dose of podcast chemistry, tune in to hear their banter and deep dives into nostalgia, news, and biting social commentary.