10-30-25 - Now You Get In Trouble For Not Reacting Right When Other People Say Bigoted Things - Brady's Fall Festival Was Last Night And He Stayed Away Not Judging Reminding Us The Greek Festival Is Coming Up

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: 10-30-25 – Now You Get In Trouble For Not Reacting Right When Other People Say Bigoted Things
Date: October 30, 2025
Host: John Holmberg, with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the increasingly complex and sensitive landscape of public reactions to offensive language, particularly focusing on how individuals are now held accountable not only for what they say, but also for how (or if) they react to others’ bigoted remarks. The team also explores recent controversies involving celebrities and language, the discomfort and humor in awkward social situations, and a lively discussion on community events like local festivals and pie contests.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Hot Topic: Offense by Association

• Catalyst Incident: Kid Rock’s use of the "R word" ("retarded") during a Jesse Waters interview triggers backlash not only against Kid Rock, but also against Waters for not visibly condemning it.
• Holmberg’s Take: The absurdity of being punished for others' words or for not reacting correctly, and questioning what this means for comedy and everyday social interaction.

Quote:
"If other people saying terrible things gets people who laugh at it in trouble, why do we have comedy clubs anyway? Why do we have rap music?" — John Holmberg [05:04]

• Expanding the Topic: Contestants on "Love Island" faced criticism for their reactions (laughter, awkwardness) when the N-word was used. The team debates if it's reasonable to demand a specific emotional response to every offensive comment.

Quote:
"If we start getting in trouble for laughing at other people saying terrible things, well, that's what this whole show's based on... We can't start getting mad at each other for what other people are saying, can we? Good Christ, we're out of work." — John Holmberg [07:20]

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2. Navigating Uncomfortable Humor & Social Faux Pas

• Personal Anecdote: Holmberg recounts accidentally yelling "whore rehab" after a waitress mentioned attending rehab, leading to a humorous but awkward misinterpretation by those nearby.

Quote:
"It looked like I had yelled at a woman who was wandering away from me: 'whore rehab!'... If we're to start turning each other in for stuff, you don't even know why I was saying that." — John Holmberg [08:48]

• Satirizing Outrage: The group mocks the modern tendency to escalate minor awkward moments into full-on public complaints and pile-ons.

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3. Mocking the Cycle of Outrage Culture

• Fox News Viewers: Holmberg rib’s critics of controversial figures for seeking out reasons to be offended. "What are you watching Fox News for if you’re going to get mad?" [13:46]
• On Kid Rock: Kid Rock’s persona is discussed as being immune to pressure, "not owned by anyone." Trying to shame or cancel him only makes him double-down.

Quote:
"People like Kid Rock need to be stopped. You’re making it worse. Just keep saying it, and you’re gonna make it worse." — John Holmberg [15:33]

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4. Neighborhood Festival Antics

• Brady’s Fall Festival Experience:
  • Brady reports on the annual pie-eating contest. For the first time, he doesn’t judge due to dietary restrictions, but he humorously critiques the amateur judges’ methods.
  • Holmberg and the crew mock community events and the unspoken social consequences of not attending.

Quote:
"It's a bite of pie per pie. Then you go back and eat a slice of your fave. You were driven nuts. Were any of them...like, did you look at him and go, 'He used to be me.'" — John Holmberg [27:02]

• Greek Festival Rant:
  • Holmberg details his disdain for the neighborhood Greek Festival, especially the music and food. They compare the relentless and grating Greek music to various irritating sounds for comedic effect.

Quote:
"The music you people like, you’re wrong. It’s worse than reggae and 311 combined...it’s the candy corn of instruments. It only shows up once a year." — John Holmberg [30:04]

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5. Societal Shifts in Language Sensitivity

• "Midget" as a Slur:
  • The panel discusses double standards around offensive terms, noting that some slurs (“midget”) are socially permissible while others are not.
• Generational Lexicon:
  • They touch on shifting vernacular—e.g., how “6-7” (six-seven) became a "dictionary.com word of the year" despite being two numbers.

Quote:
"Little people have the argument that they hate that word, and us bigs are like, what are you gonna do about it?...I don't think anybody's ever been fired for dropping that M bomb." — John Holmberg [20:34]

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6. Broader Social Commentary

• On Parents and Trends:
  • Mocking “cool moms” who dress like their teenage daughters, particularly in Gilbert, Arizona.
• On Social Dynamics:
  • The social risks of being seen as anti-social or snobbish if you don’t attend neighborhood gatherings.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Responding to Outrage with Humor:
  -"Life would be so much easier if you just go 'Kid Rock’s a dick.' And then turn it and it's over." — John Holmberg [14:35]

• On Pie Judging:
  -"They were eating the whole piece of pie. You weren't coaching?" — John Holmberg [27:47]
  -"It's a bite of pie per pie. Then you go back and eat a slice of your fave." — John Holmberg [27:53]

• On Greek Music:
  -"It sounds like if you got Bruce St. James from KTAR falling down a cliff. That's Greek music. It's awful." — John Holmberg [32:01]

• Ultimate Satirical Observation:
  -"I missed the good old days when we could all yell that at each other and everybody just be like, I didn't like that. And then you moved on with your life. Now you don't like something and you scream and yell it on social media." — John Holmberg [18:23]

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Timestamps of Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:46 | Local traffic nicknames & confusion – Freeway humor | | 04:29 | Jesse Waters/Kid Rock controversy: the "R-word" incident | | 05:15 | "Love Island" and reactions to the N-word—guilt by association | | 07:48 | Tennis anecdote—teenagers blasting explicit rap music in Gilbert | | 08:48 | "Whore rehab" story – accidental social awkwardness | | 13:45 | Holmberg's satire on being offended by Fox News/Kid Rock interview | | 15:31 | Kid Rock immune to outrage & why attempts to "cancel" him are futile | | 20:33 | The “midget” slur vs. others—double standards in social consequences | | 24:03 | Commentary on “cool moms” in Gilbert | | 25:59 | Brady’s Fall Festival & pie-eating contest—traditions and humorous critiques | | 29:53 | Discussion of Greek Festival, cultural observations, and environmental impact | | 32:04 | Greek music despised—extended comedic rant |

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Tone and Style

The conversation is characterized by irreverence, sharp satire, banter, and a refusal to embrace outrage culture. Holmberg leads with acerbic wit, challenging modern sensibilities while the rest of the cast play off his provocations. Moments of local color and relatable neighborhood satire keep the tone both subversive and relatably Middle American.

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Conclusion

This episode is a classic snapshot of "Holmberg’s Morning Sickness": using local events and national controversies as a lens for broader social satire. Listeners are left pondering the futility of outrage, the need for common sense in humor and reaction, and the importance of not taking oneself—or one’s neighbors—too seriously.

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For listeners: If you appreciate incisive, boundary-pushing humor and keen social observation, this episode encapsulates the show’s core strengths—while reminding everyone that sometimes, the most sensible response is to “move on with your life.”

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Byron]

Hello there.

[John Holmberg]

Welcome to Thursday. This week is blowing by. It is 5:45 this. It's the morning sickness. My name is John Holmberg. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett wandering in. There's big Dick Toledo. Off we go for a glorious Thursday morning here in paradise. Perfect morning out there. Absolutely stunning. Get out, wander around. I was down at the H and H ranch and I drove in. That car accident on the i10 is no joke. I don't know if it's cleared out yet, but the one heading west right there at the mini stack. I've lived here for a thousand years and I don't know which stack. There's the big, the maxi stack, the mini. I don't know what.

[Byron]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[John Holmberg]

It's that one stack. The other stack. Woof. That stack is. But this is the mini stack.

[Brett Vesely]

But the medium stack.

[John Holmberg]

There's a. There's a. Yeah, there's a moderate stack.

[Byron]

Like pancakes stack that's just right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We got pancake freeways. I don't know where the mini stack, mini stack is. The one where the 200, 2 and 10 kind of merge and then the stack is the 17. Okay. All right.

[Brett Vesely]

The one right after the tunnel.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think it's a big stack. It's a lot of stacks. But that little mini stack, had I driving by, there's a lot of looky loose heading east, looking over into the west lanes to see why there's no cars over there. And then you find that, you know, see all the cops, their cameras set up and like, oh, boy, somebody didn't make it. So it's. It's no joke. It's probably all cleared out by now. Hopefully. I was on there about an hour ago, so it was not good. So be careful. It always a reminder to be careful.

[Byron]

Pain when the stack is packed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. When the stack is backed up, you can't, you know, you got to get back to the stack just flowing. I don't know. Every time I see that, I'm like, which is the stack? Which is the mini stack? The baby stack. Just call it the 200, 2 and 10. We'll get it then. I remember when I first started in radio, the traffic guy's name was Dennis McBroom. And I throw it to Dennis and he'd be like, two car pile up on the Red Mountain freeway and then over on the old western shindig freeway, like he had. Every one of them had a name. And I'm like, dennis, I gotta tell you, man, I've. I've lived here a long time. I don't know what you're talking about. It's foreign. It's like you're speaking Cobalt Man. That's what I mean. I'm like, numbers, buddy, numbers. Nobody, nobody says, you know, you take the Red Mountain Freeway to fit you. I don't know what that is. The Maricopa Freeway. Red Mountain Freeway. The.

[Byron]

The back in that day, the 51.

[John Holmberg]

Was called squaw peeking at Mountain Parkway. That's what I told him. Whore Mountain Parkway would have been. Now I know you want me to remember the names of the freeways. You better start giving them fun names like Horror Mountain or R. Word Way. And speaking. We're getting into a dangerous area here. Brady just talked about this to me off there. And there's another thing going on where now if you laugh at or don't respond properly to somebody saying a word that other people don't like, you can get in trouble. Jesse Waters getting a little heat. Two people from the show Love island are in trouble because what'd Jesse do? Well, Jesse had Kid Rock on, and Kid Rock said the R word. Not Redskins.

[Brett Vesely]

No, the other.

[John Holmberg]

The retarded.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And Jesse Waters didn't.

[Byron]

The hat he was wearing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He said. Yeah. He said, your hat is a little. And he said, yeah, I know. I look a little bit retarded. And Jesse Water goes, jesse, you can't call yourself retarded. And then. So he got a letter from the president. Yeah. Special Olympics said, you're not even qualified, basically, is what they were saying to Kid Rock, which is sort of offense. You are now not going to be in the Special Olympics anytime soon. And I would argue that Kid Rock might pass the test on a couple of occasions of getting in there. So Jesse Waters, though. And Kid Rock said it. Jesse Waters didn't clutch his pearls and storm off the set. So they're getting mad at him for not losing his mind. The two people on Love island heard somebody call a couple of contestants the N word.

[Byron]

And they.

[John Holmberg]

And they laughed. And one of them is a black guy, and he laughed, and they're like, why'd you laugh at that? He's like, what? That was just a really. And then another one. I think the other girl that left was white.

[Byron]

She goes.

[John Holmberg]

It was really. I think she said, hella awkward. Which makes me hate her anyway. But it was. It was awkward. And it would be. If Brett and I standing there and somebody bangs out the N bomb and we're just adjacent to it, two of us are gonna be like, there's. We're gonna laugh. And it's not like, this is great. It's a laugh like, oh, what's gonna happen? It's uncomfortable if we start getting in trouble for laughing at other people saying terrible things. Well, that's what this whole show's based on. I'm in trouble if other people saying terrible things gets people who laugh at it in trouble. Why do we have comedy clubs anyway? Why do we have rap music? I giggle at some of the stuff that happens in those songs because Doja Cat. Doja Cat's hilarious. She says that thing. Go ahead, listen to a couple of Doja Cat. What's the one that we always talk about? I can't remember. S ain't. Yeah. Ain't S word.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And it takes you by surprise when you first pop that on your stereo. It's hilarious. She's basically mad at every guy that's ever dated her. And she's. She's like these. This.

[Brett Vesely]

Tell them how it is.

[John Holmberg]

She says, I'll replace the N word with gentlemen. But she says, gentlemen ain't all up in your crib. All up in your fridge. Gentlemen ain't. And you sit and go, oh, she's mad at somebody. That. That's funny.

[Byron]

On Monday, Kirby had a tennis lesson.

[John Holmberg]

Good Lord, she did it.

[Byron]

The court next door, two young girls, Gilbert's finest, are hitting tennis balls. And those songs are blazing. They had a speaker out there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, it's in Gilbert A tennis Almost. Yeah. That's hilarious. It's funny.

[Byron]

White as can be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Gilbert tennis clubs.

[Byron]

I've never heard so many N bombs.

[John Holmberg]

And you can't help it.

[Byron]

And they had it, you know, you could hear it, you know. Six quarts.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, look, if I hear that, I'm laughing because I'm uncomfortable. Especially first off, if I'm at Gilbert Tennis Facility for teens. I'm already looking for other stuff to do and I'm. If the music happens to be catchy and there's a lot of slurs in it, I'm looking around at everybody else and I'm laughing at their reaction. I'm not laughing at the word.

[Byron]

It was very entertaining.

[John Holmberg]

Kid Rock can't say he looks like the R word, which is a thing. It's a real thing. It doesn't mean he was Kid Rocks on our word. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. Brett's following. Brett's following the ball. Yeah. I mean, the guy is one. So if he. I mean, what happens if you ask somebody who's got the thing and you say, what's going on with you? And they're like, oh, I'm with hard. I'm like, ah, how dare you? Then you have to storm away. Even if they are actually the R word, it's a word. It's a real thing. He wasn't doing it to disparage others. He was doing it to say, yeah, I look a little bit like, you know, I might not have my full mental capabilities. That's when I have this hat on. That's not as funny as saying I look like an R word. Although maybe it would be if you delivered it properly. Either way, we can't start getting mad at each other for what other people are saying, can we? Good. Christ, we're out of work.

[Byron]

Good to know that letters are still coming in, too.

[John Holmberg]

You get an actual letter last night at the Rah, rah room. I, I. A couple people were very uncomfortable. There's a lady named Susan there. I was at the Sunscape. My buddy Anthony. And we're talking, and Susan is a. She's a waitress there. We. She waited on you and I once. Oh, yeah. She's got her hair pulled back so tight that it looks like her. Her head's gonna pop off. I don't know how she lives like that. Like, her head is tighter than mine, and I don't have any hair. Like, it is. It's tight, but it works, you know? And she comes up and she goes, hey, I haven't seen you. Feel like she took the whole, like, off season off. So it's been. I haven't been here since the last NBA game. And I'm like, yeah. And I said, well, we were here a couple times for concerts and didn't see and wondered if you'd quit. And she goes, no, I had to go to rehab. And I laughed and I said, whore rehab. But I hadn't realized that she'd already walked away. So I just turned to no one and said that out loud. And other people looked at me like, what? Like, sorry. It looked like I had yelled at a woman who was wandering away from me. Whore rehab. Yeah. And I just told the lady next to me. I'm like, it's a drink. I wanted a drink. It's called the whore rehab. But it made other people uncomfortable if we're to start turning each other in for stuff. You don't even know why I was saying that. Heck, Susan didn't even hear it. Whore rehab's funny because if it was there, there'd be, like, a line around the block of dudes, like, just waiting for whore rehab to open up. Oh, that was the best. 28 days I'm cured of whore. And then the door swings open, and it's just like, the paparazzi. Hey, baby, how you doing? Welcome. Yeah, back to society, eh? Yeah, they're all from the 20s.

[Byron]

Did you hear that bald guy yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Talking about sex addiction, shouting out, yeah, I know who he is. He works at that kupd. He says terrible stuff a lot. And he said he just screamed at a woman. Whore rehab. Like, that's what she needed. That's not what it's called. Sex addiction's very real. So are whores. I'm not saying she was one, but I was laughing at it. She's the one who made the rehab joke. Isn't that making fun of drug addicts and alcoholics?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, we should Write a letter.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna write a letter to Mr. Rah Rah, and I'm gonna put a stop to all these terrible conversations that I'm having. You know, it's like a reunion back in that thing. Anyway, we were down there just goofing around. I'm like, let's get out of here, Anthony. I just screamed whore rehab in the middle of a restaurant. Can't. Can't be doing that kind of stuff. Someday I'll learn. I don't know if I ever will, to be honest, but someday I'll try and learn. But if you hear somebody say, evidently, the proper reaction is to lose your mind and start telling everybody they're stupid, that's the best thing to do, is to call people safe names. When you hear someone else say something terrible and, I don't know, everybody else doesn't react properly. And actually, Max says he was saying his Halloween costume was going to be wearing a Covid mask and he was going to go as a retard. That was kid Rocks. I didn't see it. I just heard that Jesse Waters is in trouble because Kid Rock made that rather great comment. It's funny. That is kind of hilarious. Yeah. What are you gonna be for Halloween? Covid. I'm gonna wear a Covid mask and go as a retard. All right, I'm laughing. Now I'm in trouble. That's morning sickness. 28.

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[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. I don't want that to be.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm writing a letter.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. How do you get angry at that? And what are you watching Fox News for if you're. That you're gonna get mad. Like that's gonna make that. That channel makes everybody mad. Eventually Kid Rock and Jesse Walters talking. Eventually one of them's gonna say something that has got to be uncomfortable to somebody. Yeah, you're. You're asking for it. You. If you're in charge of the Special Olympics, don't watch any Kid Rock interviews ever. Don't watch Kid Rock. Don't listen to a ba with taba. That's what half of your athletes are singing as they're running. Okay, I've gone too far. At least that's what it sounds like when they run their lips. Bob. You can't help it. When I run, I sound like that. I can't.

[Byron]

Barely came up the with the song.

[John Holmberg]

That could be it. He might have been at one of the events like what are they saying? And then it just happened that way. Anyway, be careful because now you can evidently get in big trouble for that. But yeah, if you're in charge of something like the Special Olympics, don't watch Kid Rocks interviews. Don't. Just don't. There's no better advice I can give. Always got to be mad at some. Everybody's always going to be mad at something. Life would be so much easier if you just go Kid Rock's a dick. And then turn it and it's over. Because now I didn't watch it. I'm not sitting there staring at Jesse Waters show every day. But now I know about it. And people like me are dangerous when you get to know that kind of stuff. Because I won't. I won't stop telling people. You see that? That's pretty funny. You could have let it go. You bring attention to It. And is anyone at all surprised that Kid Rock uses the R word?

[Byron]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No. So we're trying to stop Kid Rock. You know what you're gonna do when you try to stop Kid Rock from saying that? Make him say it a lot more. Because he's. He's fearless and he doesn't. He's not owned by anyone. That's the most dangerous kind of person. He's got a we. He's got enough money off of the Bawa Taba and the other stuff that he did in that song with Sheryl Crow. And he's going to be all right for a long time. And now he doesn't have to answer to anyone. So aside from dressing up as a Nazi or just dropping N bombs, which wouldn't really surprise me either, he's not afraid of the Special Olympics being mad at him. It's. What? Is he going to not get tickets to the big event he wasn't going to anyway. People like Kid Rock need to be stopped. You're making it worse. Just keep saying it, and you're gonna make it worse.

[Byron]

Would tough guy use it at our event, Our Olympics?

[John Holmberg]

He wouldn't go there. He's not gonna be there. If he's there, he's a contestant. He's finally admitted it.

[Brett Vesely]

If there's no strippers or Bud Light there, he's not going.

[John Holmberg]

Is the Bud Light. He's back on the Bud Light again? I think so.

[Brett Vesely]

I think so. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It might be a Coors guy.

[Byron]

He did welcome it back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You know, he likes it. It's good. You couldn't keep those two apart very long. Even a tranny spokesperson couldn't keep Kid Rock from wrapping his lips around that. Anyway, I think I got it. That was the interview.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. If I can. If the computer sides are.

[Byron]

I just remember seeing the picture of him and his hat.

[John Holmberg]

I want to see Jesse Waters reaction that people are mad at him. Like, and that's the thing they can't get mad at. At Kid Rock. So they have to get.

[Commercial Announcer 1]

So my whole family is doing Scooby Doo.

[John Holmberg]

My son's gonna be Scooby Doo. I'm Shaggy. So I'm gonna kind of dress like you. Big baggy clothes. I'm just gonna have a little flask while I walk around there. You go undercover, bro. Guess what I'm gonna be. What? Guess. An Amrabi Fauci and Waters died laughing because they can't get mad at Kid Rock with his Jesus hat on. He's got a hat says Jesus on with the Fish. Of course. That's the. Okay. Ah, silly. He's got a hat that loves the Lord and then he calls himself an R word. This is exactly. Look.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the funniest Kid Rock's been.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like, ever. You're. He had no sense of humor when Toledo interviewed him. Toledo and him did not get along. Walked in and asked him a couple questions. And Bob says to Toledo, is this how it's gonna be the whole time? Because I had written some rather puzzling questions. I ain't got time for this. Toledo's like, yeah, that's pretty much it. And he goes, yeah. And he left. Toledo was just standing there by himself. Cause Bob Richie didn't want to talk to Dick Toledo, which makes it even better. But, eh, what are you gonna do? Yeah, that's not something. And Jesse Walter's getting in trouble, silly. So be careful out there. I missed the good old days when we could all yell that at each other and everybody just be like, I didn't like that. And then you moved on with your life. Now you don't like something and you scream and yell it on social media and you try to get full organizations in your corner. Of course, what do you expect? Like when you say, oh my God, you hear Kid Rock said the R word. And then the president of the Special Olympics has to react if. Stop watching him. Oh, that's yesterday. What's today? The 6:00am Word to start off today is check. Check, ch, e, c, k. You get that 6:00 clock word in there and you qualify and you might win yourself a thousand bucks. We're starting early, we're starting off and we're getting this done. And I'm supposed to do this. I've been bad about this. I didn't know. But I. Hold on. I'll find the page eventually. Supposed to say who the winners are.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's my fault. I. It was 100. My fault.

[Byron]

Graham going out to.

[John Holmberg]

I cannot seem. There it is.

[Byron]

Maybe. Maybe we didn't.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. Eric Parsons, who emailed us, and Ryan Alvarez got a thousand bucks. So we're handing out money to those two right away. We'll get another winner shortly and we'll throw that name on that list as well. So congratulations to Eric and Ryan and maybe one of you guys this morning if you get that thing in there. Check is the word at 6am so hop on that thing. Get her done. I remember about a month ago or so. Oh, this one's. Damn it. Scott Haynes Just texted and he's mad, and he said, I forgot to tell you guys have been disqualified from ever appearing at the midget tossing events I host. For making fun of me. That's right. Scott's a very small man, and he's well known for his midget tossing events where he is the. He's the star.

[Byron]

He's got the record.

[John Holmberg]

Not allowed to do that. I've always found that funny that. That's. I've said this before, but I. I feel like the only slurs that. I mean, little people have the argument that they hate that word. And us bigs are like, what are you gonna do about it? Like, we don't. We don't really care that they get upset about it. We only get upset when we could get our ass kicked. You know, nobody's ever been. I don't think anybody's ever been fired for dropping that M bomb. You try to say M word. It's too close. Sounds like you called him the M word. The N word. No, no, the M word. All right. That's too much. Just. No, we're not mad at that. Is he gonna fight you? Because I'd like to watch that poor guy. Sorry. Scott, your people have been through so much.

[Byron]

Do they still use that as a racing car term?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, midget cars.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. It's a good question.

[Brett Vesely]

So, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do they. They don't call them little.

[Byron]

Little cars.

[John Holmberg]

Little.

[Byron]

Little cars.

[John Holmberg]

Little people car racing. They're just. Yeah, I forgot about that. That's true.

[Brett Vesely]

Wikipedia. Midget car racing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Didn't they have midget peewee football, too? Like, midget. Like when the. That was when I was. Yeah, but they had midget league and then peewee and then something else. Oh, really? Yeah. That might have just been a West Virginia thing. Not shocking, anyway. Well, I don't know what's going on, but I just know that 6, 7 is something you can say constantly.

[Byron]

Word of the year.

[John Holmberg]

Word of the [e-mail]. congratulations to Six Seven again. About a month ago, I went on a tirade about six, and it was the same week, like, a week after south park did the exact same show. It's like I wrote it and went on. And then you watched the South Park. I'm like, well, that's everything I just said. All the jokes are the same. Where did you guys get that? And it's because it was. And then you got to keep it, so making it the dictionary word of the year, even though it's two words, kind of R word. And then watch it. I know. And then we know. You watch it. I can say it. You get in trouble for not responding properly, and. Yeah. So then you make adults have to say that it's cool. So dictionary.com, making it cool and us saying six, seven to each other. Parents, this is on you. I said it over a month ago. Put it in the parents. Six, seven. Your kids, when you say, good night, honey. Six, seven. Stop it, you guys. That's ours. They're gonna hate it. Hate it. They're gonna look at you and go, they stole our six, seven. And then some idiot will come up with seven, eight. Because six, seven means just as little as anything else. Then they'll try seven, eight. Parents. You don't like it, you do it. Remember years ago, that brilliant dad that was tired of his daughter wearing those Daisy Duke shorts? He's like. And she's like, I can do this if I want, dad. He's like. So he put him on and took her to school and had his ass hanging out of these Daisy Dukes. And I don't know if that girl wore them again ever. And he said, every time you wear them, I'm gonna wear them. You're right. These are great. Stop it, dad. Which is why I don't understand how Gilbert works. Most kids hate when their moms think something's cool. But moms and Gilbert work so hard to look and dress just like their daughters that I feel bad for teenagers in Gilbert because they got to try to shake their mom because mom's looking at them.

[Byron]

Can't top their mom sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes won't know they're trying. But their hands and everything else those.

[Brett Vesely]

Moms are rolling around with, I mean.

[John Holmberg]

But they're wearing all the same clothes, and no kid wants to be dressed like their mother. But moms do that. Gilbert's the worst. You go out to Gilbert and you're like, oh, my God, she's. She thinks she looks 17. She just looks ridiculous. It was in full force last night at the Suns game. That's turned into the Phoenix Open in the biggest way. Like, these women are going to together. No dudes with them. And they're dressed up like they're going to Scottsdale bars after the Open. I'm like, what is going on here? And then you start looking. You're like, that's a mother and her daughter, and they're both dressed like whores.

[Commercial Announcer 1]

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[John Holmberg]

Whoa.

[Brett Vesely]

Wayne, did you hear that?

[John Holmberg]

Sounded like a monster. Not a monster, Larry.

[Brett Vesely]

Just a car in need of Amco.

[John Holmberg]

Grinding, clunking, screeching those noises mean trouble.

[Brett Vesely]

So what do you do when your car sounds haunted?

[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

So this Halloween, don't fear the road. Fear missing out on great Amco service.

[John Holmberg]

Google Amco for your nearest location.

[Commercial Announcer 1]

That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and.

[Brett Vesely]

A whole lot more.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. And they like it. The attention is. And they're just on their phones the whole time. Didn't watch a blip of basketball last night?

[Byron]

Last night was the fall festival, John.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, did you get to go into the storm drain?

[Brett Vesely]

Nice.

[Byron]

Did not judge the pie eating the.

[John Holmberg]

First year that the storm drain pie eating contest did not fall in your lap. Oh. Did you tell everybody that you would love to, but.

[Byron]

Yes, I said I can, but I can't do the. You know, there are. There are 11 entries this year.

[John Holmberg]

Dietary restrictions.

[Byron]

What I could do is if the judges come down to the final two, all taste the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Byron]

You were to decide the winner.

[John Holmberg]

That's big. Yeah. Was it that. Who was that lady who made that horrible apple pie last year? Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Was she there?

[Byron]

I forget her name.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's easy to forget. She's got no creativity sister. She might as well get a job as a radio executive. She's so uncreative.

[Byron]

But there is one, and then the other lady that always puts in at least two pies. She's.

[John Holmberg]

She won again. What flavor was the winner last night in your storm drain pie contest? That's annual storm drain pie eating contest that Brady goes to.

[Byron]

There's a couple of different versions of apple pies. There's an apple crumble.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

An apple pie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you just had to walk around there.

[Byron]

Chocolate. I just had to. I just circled the table like a shark.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And. But a shark with its jaw wired shut. You and what one don't know.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

You don't even know who.

[John Holmberg]

You just. You had to get out of there. Masturbate, like, immediately. I got you. I can't stick around for this. Oh, my God. Sorry I made on your pie. So he was just. Who was the judge?

[Byron]

Four people I didn't recognize. One guy had his iPhone out making.

[John Holmberg]

Notes, taking it seriously. Not like you just tasting walks. The. Brady's a professional. He doesn't need to know.

[Byron]

They were rookies too, because they were taking a piece of each. I'm like, you're not gonna make it.

[John Holmberg]

They were eating the whole piece of pie. You weren't coaching.

[Byron]

No, I wanted to.

[John Holmberg]

It's a bite of pie per pie. Then you go back and eat a slice of your fave. You were driven nuts. Were any of them, like, did you look at him and go, he used to be me? There's a little portly 30 year old.

[Byron]

There's a lady I didn't know standing next to me, and she's making a couple comments. And next thing you know, we're both.

[John Holmberg]

Making comments about how the judges suck.

[Byron]

They're just not doing it right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Was she a portly woman?

[Byron]

And I go, I bet you a couple of these judges are greased right now.

[John Holmberg]

You think they were. They were taking payouts.

[Byron]

Yeah. Lita Olson.

[John Holmberg]

What do you get out of the. The storm drain pie eating contest? What is like the. What's the.

[Byron]

Usually it's like a gift certificate.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, no, I'm saying like, as a. As a person who attends. Is it just to hobnob with neighbors?

[Brett Vesely]

God, who wants to do that?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it sounds awful. Yeah.

[Byron]

You mean though the reason why they gather house.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Byron]

It's just in a dunking booth this time.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so it's a Pratt event.

[Byron]

No, nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Hello. There's a nothing. That's true. That sounds terrible. And it's well attended, I'm sure, because if you don't go pretty well attended, you're whispered about. For it becomes the Brett and John of the neighborhood. They don't attend any of the functions. And then the gossip in the neighborhood gets going. People and like you and that fat lady were talking about the judges and that's pretty good.

[Byron]

She wasn't fat.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the way. Were you making fun of other judges?

[Byron]

She's a full figured guy.

[John Holmberg]

All right. See, that's what I'm talking about. Well done.

[Brett Vesely]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Either way. Yeah, that's fun. Brady's going to that. What every year. For 10 years or so you've been the judge and now somebody else has to do it.

[Byron]

19 years of fall festivals and only. Yeah, about 10 of them were the judges.

[John Holmberg]

You've gone to it 19 years in a row.

[Byron]

How long I've been.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you go every year at a certain point. You're like pretty much clogging up my road for this. Oh, I'd move before I'd go to another one. They have that Greek festival in my neighborhood every year at that.

[Byron]

Yeah, I might go to that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, nightmare. And Greeks. I've said it every year. The music you people like, you're wrong. It's worse than reggae and 311 combined.

[Byron]

Oh, that should be event you should go to because, you know, your nose would be small.

[John Holmberg]

I would look the average. I would look like I had a. I had some rhinoplasty before the big Greek off. Oh, it's just like he's got a cute nose. Every year it just clogs up the neighborhood clogs up and smells like feta, smells like ruddy food. And then that weird instrument that no one ever plays outside of Greek festivals, which tells you exactly what you need to know. It's useless. It's the candy corn of instruments. It only shows up once a year and don't really like it, but you just tolerate it. It's the fruitcake.

[Byron]

Are they breaking plates there at all?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I've never been. I'm not going to it. Have you? The music is so awful. Authentic Greek music. And it goes through the whole neighborhood. The church is a. I don't know, half mile, maybe less than that from my house. And it's just pomp and man. It is just from 5 o' clock until 11. It's the worst. Did you find any this crap? No. This is. This is just. This is absorbed with a Greek or something, isn't it?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This one's already.

[Byron]

This one's jamming out.

[John Holmberg]

Recognizable. Oh, they're definitely.

[Byron]

Every 45 minutes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think they have to play this every once. This is like dance like a pop. Yeah, this one makes sense. But then they get into that weird. Whatever that. It's Festa now. These are instruments I recognize. It still isn't good, but. And it's live music.

[Byron]

Window.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what it is. I don't know what it sounds like. Somebody's just like trying to strangle a. Like a chicken or something. Sounds like if you got Bruce St. James from KTAR falling down a cliff. That's Greek music. It's awful. Yeah, I couldn't do it. I don't like. I like events that are. I don't like Bush League park neighborhood.

[Byron]

That's a major league event there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and it. Yeah, and it's not, though. It's. It's, you know, bounce houses and really little roller coasters. It's in a stage. It's awful.

[Byron]

Would you like it to be more, like, authentic where, you know, new naked games?

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, but now that you bring it up.

[Byron]

Greek Olympics.

[John Holmberg]

You went Greek Olympics? This is in there. But instead of that guitar, it's. It's whatever instrument they're honking into. Sounds like the Star wars cantina when they get going. Oh, it's awful. And then they just start slopping that lamb meat onto everything. And then everything's got olives. It stinks. The Greeks are wrong. Their music, it's. It's the. It's like what Jewish music sounds like, only worse.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But I don't like bargain basement parking lot.

[Byron]

You don't like a parking lot hero?

[John Holmberg]

I don't like. Well, I don't. Nope. No, sir. I don't like parking lot carnivals. I don't. And I don't want, you know, put.

[Byron]

That leg up there and shave it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and there's flies. It's an Indian bazaar. You're outside and you're. They've got the meat on a. That's just hanging off the duck. I don't know what that instrument is. With Greek music. They're wrong. This one says it's like.

[Byron]

Like a clarinet, maybe or something.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's like. It's like if Michael J. Fox started the clarinet. That's what it says.

[Brett Vesely]

Like this.

[John Holmberg]

It sounds. Yeah, there it is. Oh, it's never in. Is that a clarinet? I think it's like an oboe or something. That's it. It sounds like an orchestra tuning up. And this goes on for four and a half hours every October for three days. Yeah, three days.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

Man.

[John Holmberg]

They're wrong. The Middle east listens to this and goes, what are you doing? Why that thing there it is. That's. Whatever that is. It might be a clarinet or some sort of French horn or something. I don't know what the hell that thing is. And they lose their mind and it's never ending. It's the same once they go. The guy goes on and goes, okay, get ready for six hours of uninterrupted nonsense. And then they just go, fried cheese for everybody.

[Byron]

It's like a modified harmonica, I think.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what it is. Awful. And it is. It starts slow and then they start running in circles and it goes that. Dude, it's awful. Her. It's that thing that I have to go in the house.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds like Kirby's band recital.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they always have this stupid festival right as the weather's nice enough to have your windows open. Then they attack the inside of your house.

[Byron]

You got the smell of oranges and flaky.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that is, but probably awful. What is that? Are you trying to make me have anxiety attacks now? My wife. That's awful. Yeah, I don't like those. I don't like neighborhood gatherings with local Greek bands and pies made from home. Have you guys seen that meme going around? It says, this is why no one should eat it. A potluck. And the lady's cutting the carrots with her mouth. I think I sent it to you guys.

[Byron]

Yes, I've seen that.

[John Holmberg]

Cuz that's how people do it. Gross. And then you got the gyro thing. That's just disgusting. Anyway, it's called the. Oh, the. The instrument has a name called Greek Aeolus. It's a Greek Aeolus. And James says. Kid Rock says that Greek music is like Italian music, only played by retards. Okay, that's enough of that. I'm not allowed to boo to you. James supposed to get angry at you for saying that.

[Byron]

I forgot there. The. The pan flute too. What? That's.

[John Holmberg]

They're into that. It's the Middle east and we accept it.

[Byron]

Named after the Greek God Pan.

[John Holmberg]

Not real creative.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's see what the next hit.

[John Holmberg]

Coming in at number five on the Greek top 40. What is that? What is going on? Is he having a seizure?

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, are you guys doing this tomorrow night?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're going to if that guy's dead. Yes. To be happy. I can't take it. Everybody's like, you gotta go to that. And I'm like, A, I don't like olives. B, I don't like lamb. C, I don't like parking lot parties. D, Am I done yet? Why are you saying I should? Oh, you would love it. Would I? Hair lip at 6:18. Let's get ourselves a wake up song, shall we? 585-9-800. A good one. As we wash away this. People flock to it though. So I'm in the minority authority on that deal. You get it to us good and strong. We'll scream it together. It's 98 Kup. Hey, it's not weird.

[Byron]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Downtown at Stand Up Live, you've got Moshe Casher and the pride of Jacksonville, Florida, Lil Duvall performing. Desert Ridge up north features the very funny Hans Kim and Eastside at the Tempe Improv has two entertaining comedians with Alvin Kuwait and Basim Youssef. For the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Men.

[John Holmberg]

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