10-31-25 - BR - FRI - It's Natl Caramel Apple Day And Knock Knock Joke Day - Sci News On Glowing Bats, Pig Kidneys And Gluten Intolerance - Brutus Buckeye Celebrated His 60th BDay This Week

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 10-31-25 – BR – FRI
Date: October 31, 2025
Main Theme:
A raucous Halloween episode blending humor, odd science, and irreverent news with October 31st festivities—including National Caramel Apple Day, National Knock Knock Joke Day, scientific oddities (like glowing bats and pig kidneys), gluten intolerance, and Brutus Buckeye’s 60th birthday.

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Episode Highlights

1. Halloween Hijinks: AI Music and Black Cats

• AI-Generated Halloween Song (01:18–03:40)
  The show kicks off with a tongue-in-cheek, AI-generated song called “Spooky Pussy” by fictional artists Dorothy Jingle and Harry Bush, filled with double entendres and Halloween spirit.

  • Memorable moment:
    • “Spooky pussy... Oh, what a sight. Spooky pussy will give you a fright.” – AI Singer Female (02:17)

• Discussion of adopting black cats:

  • Scott: "Don’t be a dick—keep that spooky pussy around for its entire life." (03:50)

2. National Days Segment: Caramel Apples & Knock Knock Jokes

• Caramel Apple Day

  • Brady urges listeners not to refrigerate caramel apples for a month—"it doesn't protect from bacteria" (05:14).
  • Fun fact: apples in stores may have been stored for 10–12 months (07:03–07:16).
  • Scott muses: “Your grocery store is hospice for fruit.” (09:46)

• Knock Knock Jokes

  • Brady tests out a “dirty” joke:
    • “Knock knock.”
    • “Who’s there?”
    • “Mike.”
    • “Mike Latorreis.” (06:00–06:04)
    • Scott: “That’s not a joke. It’s just a dude with a bad name.” (06:16)
  • Later, another: “Mike Dick. You can just say Dick. The hell does that mean?” (08:32–08:34)

3. Strange Science News

(14:00–18:30)

• Glowing Bats:

  • “A study found bats glow green after ultraviolet light exposure.” – Brady (14:00)
  • “They decorate their webs. It helps sense vibrations.” – Brady (14:45)

• Psychopath Brains:

  • “A study on psychopaths pinpointed a key difference in how their brains are structured. There’s a part…associated with decision making and rewards…and in psychopaths, it’s about 10% bigger.” – Brady (15:02)
  • “When they do something a little risky—dopamine bonus. So they do more of it.” – Scott (15:19)

• Pig Kidney Transplant:

  • The first person to receive a pig kidney transplant had it removed after 271 days—a world record—before going back on dialysis.
  • “That was given so much hope, Brady.” – Scott (15:40)
  • “Why not just swap it out with another pig kidney?” – Hans Kim (16:03)

• Gluten Intolerance Debunked:

  • Study suggests most people who “can’t tolerate gluten” probably can, unless they have celiac disease.
  • “Unless you have celiac, gluten may not be the real issue.” – Brady (17:31)
  • “Gluten is definitely something that affects people…but it didn’t exist as a problem 20 years ago.” – Scott (17:48)
  • “Now every woman over 30 has a gluten allergy.” – Scott (18:08)

4. Bizarre News Stories

(10:43, 19:53–21:59)

• German Sausage Incident:

  • A drunken man in Germany falls out of a bar window, breaks into a butcher shop next door, and eats sausages he finds.
  • “He called the cops from inside…didn’t know where he was.” – Brady (10:43)

• Caramel Apple Logistics:

  • “I owned a logistics company. We held thousands of loads of apples…bananas are several months old, you’d be surprised.” – Listener email (09:22)

• Brutus Buckeye’s 60th Birthday:

  • Ohio State mascot “Brutus Buckeye” turns 60, breaking the world record for most people wearing birthday hats at a single event (1,923 attendees).
  • “Trust me, it’s a mean, poisonous nut. If wolverines eat it, they get sick.” – Brady (22:53, 22:55)

• Wrong-Delivered Body Parts in Kentucky:

  • A Kentucky woman receives a package containing arms and fingers instead of her medication; it was meant for the University of Kentucky for research.
  • “She didn’t get her medicine. She got…arms and fingers.” – Brady (21:55)

5. Viral Videos & Shock Humor

(23:03–36:23)

• “Radio Videos” Segment:

  • Showcases found and user-submitted shocking, grotesque, and absurd videos—often described in graphic detail.
  • Fights outside Mr. Panda buffet, viral girl fights, motorcycle accidents, and more.
  • “That was the toughest one. That was a rough one. Good for Halloween, though.” – Scott (36:46)

• Food Oddities:

  • Asian “beach squid” video—woman eats a raw squid’s eyeball straight from the ocean.
  • “She takes a bite right out of the water…that’s its eyeball! She just devours it.” – Scott (28:06, 28:31)

• Halloween-Themed Extreme Videos:

  • Graphic Halloween “horror porn” descriptions, including a woman vomiting, sneezing, and urinating into a container, then feeding it to another person.
  • “There’s more. Enough, God damn it!” – Scott (35:30)
  • “I think the show’s canceled.” – Scott (36:23)

6. Side Conversations & Callbacks

• Phone Addiction Solution:

  • A man invents a six-pound iPhone case to curb smartphone usage; so far, only $17k of $75k Kickstarter goal raised.
  • “The idea is it’s so heavy, you can’t use it very long!” – Brady (12:26)
  • “It would pull your pants down all the time.” – Scott (13:43)

• Listener Emails and Host Banter:

  • “Funny how you play a dumb AI song but not ‘Piano Man’ by Billy Joel.” – Listener email (08:03)
  • “Everybody loves Billy Joel. But it’s not the point. It’s just the Jews.” – Scott, tongue-in-cheek (12:02)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On AI Music:
  • “Happy Halloween, everybody. AI joining the party and made us giggle.” – Scott (03:28)
• On Caramel Apples:
  • “Don’t put them in the refrigerator and eat a month later.” – Brady (05:14)
• On Science News:
  • “A study found bats glow green after ultraviolet light.” – Brady (14:00)
  • “Gluten is definitely something that affects people…but it also didn’t exist as a problem 20 years ago.” – Scott (17:48)
• On Brutus Buckeye:
  • “It’s a mean poisonous nut. And if wolverines eat it, they get sick.” – Brady (22:55)
• On Shock Videos:
  • “That was the toughest one. That was a rough one.” – Scott (36:46)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• AI Halloween Song: 01:18–03:40
• National Day Banter: 05:06–08:00
• Apple Storage Reality: 07:03–09:22
• Science News (Bats, Brains, Pig Kidneys, Gluten): 14:00–18:30
• Brutus Buckeye’s Birthday: 19:53–22:59
• Shock Video Roundup & Extreme Halloween Content: 23:03–36:46

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Tone & Style

The episode leans heavily into dark holiday humor, irreverent banter, and a “shock jock” style. Hosts blend crude jokes, outrageous video descriptions, and oddball trivia, keeping energy high and pulling no punches with language or adult content.

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For New Listeners

• Expect a fast pace and a blend of news, science, and viral video commentary.
• Segments jump rapidly between silly, scientific, and gross-out humor, often with callbacks and in-jokes.
• Not for the squeamish, but fans of outrageous morning radio will feel right at home!

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Transcript

[Host]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

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[Brady]

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[Scott]

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[Mike King]

I'm Mike King from the podcast Profiling Evil. A place where true crime meets behavioral science. I spent my career investigating serial predators and studying the psychology behind them. Here, we don't just talk about what criminals did. We explore why they do what they do. We expose manipulation and control Control. Look at how offenders select their victims and uncover the ways that they try to avoid detection. You can find profiling evil on your favorite podcast, platform.

[Scott]

Sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. There's mammoth right there. That's the spell. It is 749. That's right. Brett, get it ready. AI is involved itself in. Before we get to the report, AI has got itself all prepped up and ready for Halloween. So we'd like. It's about black cats and stuff, right? And it's a song called. It's about scary black cats. I'll just let it play itself. AI Halloween has. It's our first one, right?

[Host]

It's by Dorothy Jingle with Harry Bush on.

[Scott]

Okay, Dorothy Jingle and Harry Bush, the AI artists have decided to release a awesome Halloween song. Thought we'd share it with you guys. Happy Halloween, everyone.

[AI Singer Female]

Ghouls and ghosts are out ton.

[AI Singer Male]

There's things that howl and things that bite.

[AI Singer Female]

But the one thing that will haunt.

[AI Singer Male]

You guys is what's right here between her thighs.

[AI Singer Female]

Spooky pussy. Oh, what a sight. Spooky pussy. We'll give you a fright.

[AI Singer Male]

Better come prepared this Halloween. Cause it's the hairiest pussy you've ever seen.

[Scott]

Boom.

[AI Singer Male]

Spooky pussy.

[AI Singer Female]

It's scary and it's on the crown and in its grip you'll wail and howl. You'll never forget what you saw. It's a hoo ha boo ha ooh la la. Spooky pussy. Oh, what a sight. Spooky pussy will give you a fright.

[AI Singer Male]

It'll slink down on you nice and slow. But when it latches to your let go. Spooky. Oh, there's only one thing you can do. So will you eat it or will it eat you?

[Scott]

It's a beautiful thing. Well done. Thank you very much. All right. Happy Halloween, everybody. AI. AI joining into the party and made us giggle. Oh, those black cats. Dangerous, but they're not. And right now is the time of year everybody adopts them and then lets them go. So don't be a dick. Keep that spooky pussy around for its entire life.

[Brady]

Adopt one.

[Scott]

Adopt one today. They're the best cats in the world. Hard to adopt black cats. It's very true. It's like a low percentage of them getting adopted and it's because people are weird. Spooky. By who? Is it Harry Bush?

[Brady]

And that was Kate Someone.

[Host]

I lost it. Oh, that's Kate, Harry Bush and somebody jingles.

[Scott]

That's right.

[Brady]

Connie Jingles.

[Scott]

Connie Jenkins. The classic AI Next year, the whole show will be AI no question about it. So embrace it while it's still fun before it tries to kill us. It's time now. Same with the Brady Report. It's time for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] that, my friends, is where you get shade and you want it. It's 88 degrees on Halloween. You're going to sit on that patio with all that candy melting. If you got sun all over, you got to find a good spot for your place on your patio to sit and watch all the ghouls and goblins come up to your door tonight. All pro. Shade can make sure that your space that you want shaded is. It's like having an extra room. It's square footage on your home. They'll put blinds up. They'll cover those windows east, west exposure of that sun. They'll knock that right out. Plus it blocks those UV rays, which are the ones you want to knock out. Easy peasy. Just call them right now. Get online all prochade.com Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. Happy Halloween. We've made it.

[Scott]

Boo.

[Brady]

Happy National Caramel Apple Day. Make sure caramel apples, more caramel. Don't put them in the refrigerator and eat a month later. Why some people do that? It doesn't protect from bacteria. The apple will.

[Scott]

Apple rot?

[Brady]

Yeah. Although they storm for years before you hit the shelves.

[Scott]

Candy apples are stored for years.

[Brady]

Apples.

[Scott]

Apples are stored for years for like.

[Brady]

A year or two.

[Scott]

Really? Are you making that up? No, I'd like some backup on that.

[Brady]

And it's a national knock knock day.

[Scott]

Check that out.

[Host]

What am I checking out?

[Scott]

Knock knock jokes. National knock knock, knock knock. Okay. Who?

[Brady]

Mike.

[Scott]

Mike who?

[Brady]

Mike latorreis.

[Scott]

Jesus. What the hell? That's the joke. Just the dude with a bad name. It's the 40 work weeks again.

[Mike King]

He's Friday.

[Scott]

That was your best knock knock joke, Mike. Literally. I get it. That's not a joke. It's just a guy in the other door telling you who he is. Just an unfortunate name. It's national knock knock joke.

[Brady]

I looked up the 50 dirty knock knock jokes.

[Scott]

Yeah? And that's the one.

[Host]

That's the best one you can find out of 50.

[Scott]

Well, it made me laugh because it's not a joke.

[Brady]

I know Scott would love.

[Scott]

Oh, Scott would love it. And he's probably gonna tell that in his terrible costume tonight. What's the punchline exactly? Just the dude's name.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Scott]

Oh, I see. Oh, all right, Mike, I'll be with you in a second.

[Host]

I'm gonna listen to Izzy.

[Scott]

Yeah.

[Brady]

No.

[Scott]

Yeah. That was weird.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts.

[Hans Kim]

By the way. Apples stored for 10 to 12 months before.

[Scott]

No kidding. Yeah. That's crazy. Why did you know that? Is it something someone told me in a couple years? Might have been you talking about it here.

[Brady]

It might have been me.

[Scott]

It might have been Brady telling Brady stuff.

[Brady]

Do you talk to yourself like that? Sometimes.

[Scott]

By the way, would. Would. Would Mike Literis be a good costume for Scott to wear around? I think maybe you should go around as that knock knock character on the other side of the door. In Brady's world, he could be Mike. His wife could be the last name Literis. Yeah, her name was Literis. My name is Michael and it's my wife, Luscious Mike Letros. Gotcha. That's right. I prefer Michael.

[Brady]

A full moon on Halloween is not common. It's not a common occurrence. It only happens every 18 to 19 years. The last one was in 2020. The next one will be in 2039. This year the moon will be about 70% illuminated.

[Scott]

This might be the weirdest email I've ever gotten. Funny how you play a Dumb AI song, but you won't play Piano man by Billy Joel.

[Host]

What?

[Scott]

Junior? What?

[Brady]

Why?

[Scott]

There's lots of songs we don't play. Right?

[Host]

The listeners need four day work.

[Scott]

Can't believe they play that AI spooky song. And I don't get to hear Piano man today.

[Brady]

These guys, the headless horse.

[Scott]

Knock knock at junior.

[Brady]

Who's there?

[Scott]

Mike. Mike who? Mike Dick. You can just say Dick. The hell does that mean?

[Brady]

The Headless Horseman isn't actually linked to Halloween. Many people associate Halloween with a legend of Sleepy Hollow. But the original Washington Irving short story doesn't mention Halloween even once.

[Scott]

Does any of a pumpkin for a head.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Scott]

That's why it's tied together.

[Brady]

It's the 1949 Disney movie the Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad that first made the connection between the two Halloween. In the story Vanna White hasn't actually flipped a letter in almost three decades.

[Scott]

Touched them. It's pretty amazing.

[Brady]

They changed it in 1997.

[Scott]

This used to actually spin the board. This guy says Brady was right about the apples. I owned a logistics company. We hold thousands of loads of apples. Same thing with potatoes. And also bananas are several months old. You'd be surprised how many fruit items are that old. And they put them in a room with gases. Yeah, gases and air free and kind of preserve them unnaturally and then haul them to the store where they've got like a week to live. So essentially your grocery store is hospice for fruit.

[Brady]

Well but that's wild that they can keep hold the bananas because you buy bananas at store they you got a week or two.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah because that's what I'm saying.

[Brady]

They're exposed.

[Scott]

They got air. The airs. They have an air free room.

[Hans Kim]

Did you miss that part?

[Scott]

Yeah, we just.

[Brady]

No I know but I'm just. It just. It's wild that the air they can create that atmosphere that keeps them just.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott]

It's air free room of gases like they pump nitrogen I think is what.

[Hans Kim]

What counteracts all of it.

[Scott]

The clean room. It's weird. Can't just take them off the tree and haul them over to somebody got a.

[Hans Kim]

Well you can but it's a limited market. Yeah.

[Scott]

It's just weird though to think that. That they're just in some room now for.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Scott]

Next apple I eat probably won't be it just now got picked and if I eat one next Halloween happen around Christmas.

[Brady]

This 28 year old guy in Germany is facing charges after he got drunk at a bar, fell out a window, landed in the courtyard of a butcher shop next door then broke in and started eating some sausages. It happened Wednesday night. Cops showed up after he called from the inside of the butcher shop around 10.45pm he said he was hurt, didn't know where he was. No word on his injuries but the ambulance got him. The hospital and doctors checked him out. Manager of the shop said the building had been torn. The awning. He fell out of the window of the bar and the door to the shop was damaged. They said he grabbed two sausages from their fridge. It's not clear if they were cooked or not. Police say he may face charges.

[Scott]

That's right. Had he cooked them, certainly would have faced charges because it's a waste. This guy says that that Billy Joel guy called Fitz yesterday at 5:00 and asked him for Billy Joel and started to talk about Billy Joel. So he's been on a Billy Joel bender for.

[Host]

Well, your people. I really want to hear some.

[Scott]

Why are they my people?

[Host]

You know who else wants to hear Billy Joel?

[Scott]

Everybody loves Billy Joel. But it's not the point. It's just the Jews.

[Mike King]

Yes.

[Scott]

Nobody likes him. Otherwise. The Italians. I think he's one of yours. Oh, are you sure yours Is he? Oh, yeah, he's Swedish.

[Mike King]

You're about that.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

All right.

[Scott]

He feels Italian to me.

[Host]

Ask is from New York.

[Scott]

I know he's got Jewish heritage, but yeah, he's got the whole.

[Brady]

Huh.

[Scott]

I didn't know you couldn't like him otherwise.

[Host]

Ask Gene Simmons. I'll tell you, I do like Billy Joel.

[Brady]

See, a guy in California launched a Kickstarter for a new iPhone case that weighs six pounds.

[Scott]

That's too much.

[Brady]

The idea is it's so heavy you can't use it very long. Got the idea by strapping his iPhone to a five pound dumbbell to cure his phone addiction.

[Scott]

That's smart, except for you're gonna just get super strong. Right.

[Brady]

The one, the dumbbell dumbbell version didn't work because it blocked his camera.

[Scott]

And your pockets.

[Brady]

The official version he made is six pounds of stainless steel. If you want to remove it, you have to use an Allen wrench and remove four different screws. Used a 3D printer for the prototype. He's looking to raise $75,000 on the initial run. So far, he's got a little over $17,000.

[Scott]

Morning sickness, 28k home birds. Morning sickness.

[Brady]

And he's only doing it as an iPhone version.

[Scott]

Yeah, Samsung people can stay weak and scrawny all they want. We're gonna get huge US blues.

[Brady]

Each case will cost around $210.

[Host]

I bet you don't get free shipping on Amazon with that.

[Scott]

Yeah, it's not a bad idea. But it would pull your pants down all the time.

[Brady]

That's a chunk of stainless steel.

[Scott]

It's really good for women. They get their forearms and their Biceps all cranked out. Their fingers are going to be massive.

[Brady]

And now it's time for some science news. Hello, my friends. Professor Brady Mogan here with your science news. A study found bats glow green after they're exposed to ultraviolet light. Study came out on Wednesday and found that some spiders build complex decorations too.

[Scott]

What?

[Brady]

They put decorations. They decorate their webs.

[Scott]

Did you finish the bat part of this story?

[Brady]

Yeah. Well, the bat, they exposed them to ultraviolet light and they actually glowed green a little bit.

[Scott]

I thought you said it.

[Brady]

Also the other part of it was.

[Scott]

It was the same study.

[Hans Kim]

They do it all.

[Brady]

Same study.

[Scott]

These guys got high as a kite, just started screwing around in a really.

[Hans Kim]

Ugly light at insects and bats.

[Brady]

The webs are decorated because it's help sense vibrations to find their prey.

[Scott]

Wow. Is that decoration or is that just structural?

[Brady]

I think it's just putting in like a piece of leaf or.

[Scott]

Oh. Oh.

[Brady]

A study on psychopaths pinpointed a key difference in how their brains are structured. There's a part of their brain associated with decision making. In rewards. And psychopaths, it's about 10% bigger that they.

[Scott]

When they make a choice. Rewarding part.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Scott]

They get more dopamine.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Scott]

No kidding. So when they do something that might be a little bit risky. Dopamine bonus. Yeah. So then they do more of it.

[Brady]

Surgeons in Boston removed the pig kidney from the 67 year old guy who had it transplanted back in January.

[Scott]

That was given so much hope. Brady.

[Brady]

271 day run.

[Scott]

Which is a new record for pig kidney owners.

[Brady]

Yeah. So they took it out, he's back on dialysis.

[Scott]

Go for the record, man.

[Hans Kim]

You didn't have another one on standby?

[Scott]

Yeah. Can't keep this up.

[Brady]

I evidently gotta wait.

[Host]

Wow.

[Scott]

For a pig to die in a car accident. Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

If you're going in to take the one out, just swap it out. You're already in there, Right?

[Scott]

That's true.

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah. Why you gotta wait in food News? Okay. I don't have those answers.

[Scott]

Think if anybody would have any sort of information it'd be the dude who's waiting for a kidney.

[Brady]

So far all the ones that have gotten it.

[Scott]

The pig kidney.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Scott]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Seem like that's the longest run, right?

[Scott]

That's why you said that. Yeah, but 271.

[Brady]

There's a lady that I saw in the documentary that had it. She had it for like 100.

[Scott]

Yeah, but that was not what he was saying. He said let's, let's. While he's opened up while we Take that. Let's put another one in. Let's just keep recycling them. I don't think you're gonna make something up.

[Brady]

They're not gonna take any chances if.

[Scott]

Why?

[Brady]

Because his body started rejecting it. So if we put another one in there, it could reject it.

[Scott]

What's the difference? It's already rejecting it. If they did that with you, would you be like, take it out and don't put anything else in me, or let's try another one.

[Brady]

I'd go with a human one, then after the pig one, but if that's.

[Scott]

Sure, that's preferred. You'd rather have a human die than.

[Hans Kim]

A pig you buy?

[Scott]

Yeah. Brady would rather have a teen die in a car accident. Take that kid's kidney than this pig. That makes sense to me too. But if they had an extra pig kidney and you started to reject yours, would you be like, throw that one in there. Get another year out of it?

[Brady]

Don't know if he can.

[Scott]

Yeah. Right away, maybe. You didn't ask.

[Brady]

A study found that most people who think they can tolerate gluten, who can't tolerate gluten, probably can. They're just having a bad reaction to something else in their food. So unless you have celiac disease, gluten may not be the real issue.

[Scott]

Yeah, gluten's a weird one to me because I. I know it's hold two thoughts at once because it's going to contradict itself, but they could both be true. Gluten is definitely something that affects people for sure, but also didn't exist as a problem 20 years ago.

[Hans Kim]

Problem.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

I was going to say gluten's been around since week.

[Scott]

I mean, you had to get diagnosed with something like, there's something in food called gluten. You got to watch it. And it was rare. And now every woman over the age of 30 has a gluten aller.

[Hans Kim]

Talk to Brett's people.

[Scott]

You guys put gluten in all the food?

[Hans Kim]

Oh, it's in every.

[Scott]

Oh, and all their food. Yeah. There's no Italians with gluten issues. Nothing good, right?

[Sleep Number Advertiser]

No.

[Scott]

You would you just tolerate the tummy ache?

[Hans Kim]

What would you do if you had gluten intolerance?

[Scott]

I think it d. No pasta.

[Host]

I had somebody that had that when I was trying to make pasta.

[Brady]

Really?

[Scott]

And they just get. They get it.

[Hans Kim]

They wanted you to make what?

[Host]

Tried to make it without plastic pasta? Yeah, it's. We're no longer together.

[Brady]

Let's just.

[Scott]

Oh, it was your ex. You got divorced.

[Host]

Yes.

[Scott]

What do you mean you don't want gluten. I added extra gluten to this gluten. The burning means it's working. Yeah, I. I find it to be very real that gluten things exist, but I also find it to be almost psychosomatic that the more you hear about it, the more you think gluten is a problem.

[Brady]

They also, I saw, I think it was a couple weeks ago. Doctors are recommending introducing the kids, young infants to peanuts earlier in age, which.

[Scott]

Stuff in peanuts and babies, just to see what happens. Well, it's like Alka selecting the allergy. Maybe I don't like when doctors say, let's see what happens.

[Brady]

Do it. That's your science news.

[Scott]

Brady came up with a band name. He didn't even realize it in there. Young infants. As opposed to those elderly infants, those wise old infants that wander around toddlers too late. Yeah, that's not an infant anymore. Yeah, One of them old infants standing on his. Get off my lawn. Wow.

[Brady]

The Ohio State University celebrated Brutus Buckeye 60th birthday this week. Doing that, they broke a world record. 1923 people showed up.

[Scott]

It was girls.

[Brady]

Brutus. Buckeye's birthday party on Wednesday. And they broke the record for most birthday hats in a single event.

[Scott]

What's. Wasn't it all girls at some weird girls school? They had like 1300 girls dressed in party hats. 1300 party hats to celebrate Brutus and her.

[Brady]

In the book 1923, Brutus is only 60.

[Scott]

Yeah, it's just the mascot. The Buckeye obviously was a thing before. Was Brutus. Buckeye a thing until the suit, or does the suit build like when your dad was Brutus?

[Brady]

The original Brutus, I think, was a big, you know, like, buckeye ball with two legs.

[Scott]

But it wasn't called Brutus.

[Brady]

Yeah, I thought they called him Brutus.

[Scott]

Well, then it would have been an older mascot because they're celebrating 60 years of Brutus the mass.

[Brady]

Yeah, maybe it was just the Hawkeye, probably.

[Scott]

Oh, the word for 8 o'. Clock. Sorry, everybody. My bad. Provide. That's the 8 o' clock code word for the app. And you get it in there and take our money because you can take it in the app. Thousand bucks in your hands if you get it. Register right now. Provide is the eight o' clock word. Sorry, I was. I was late.

[Brady]

This lady in Hopkinsville, Kentucky, was waiting on her medications to arrive in the mail. Package shows up, she opens up, up. It's not my medication. It's some fingers and some arms. They said, oh, sorry, we Mixed up the packages. Those arms and fingers are supposed to go to the University Kentucky for studies.

[Scott]

Yep, that's right.

[Brady]

Not for consumption.

[Scott]

For the lunchroom.

[Brady]

So the county coroner came over there and picked up the package and said, sorry, you're gonna have to wait on your drugs.

[Scott]

She didn't get her medicine.

[Brady]

She got.

[Scott]

Who got the medicine.

[Brady]

They got it straightened up.

[Scott]

But who got her package?

[Brady]

They didn't say.

[Scott]

Insane. Just could have been the University of Kentucky.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, they've.

[Brady]

She got her oxy.

[Hans Kim]

They've evolved it because it looks like a giant pile of.

[Scott]

That looks like the doo doo emoji. The old buckeye. Oh, my God. That's just a ball of blackface.

[Brady]

That guy went rogue. He went solo.

[Scott]

And there's just the nut. But maybe his name wasn't Brutus back then.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, it says his name was brutus from. From jump.

[Brady]

Well, 1965.

[Scott]

That's 60 years.

[Brady]

Yep. Came out for my birthday.

[Scott]

That's right. A racist looking mascot was born the same day as Brady.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Scott]

It's the stupidest mascot. If you remember all of Brady's artwork.

[Brady]

Trust me, it's a mean poisonous nut.

[Scott]

It's a mean poisonous nut. And if wolverines eat it, they get sick.

[Brady]

I'll die.

[Scott]

Yeah. All right.

[Brady]

Got a couple of radio videos, a couple of girl fights. This is the first one.

[Scott]

We're in the streets of a of Toledo. Mr. Panda is the name of the buffet store that they're fighting outside of. And it is a large African American woman beating the tar out of another large African American woman. And the shirts are coming off. I hope not. Yes, they are. Oh, now we've got a large African American man fighting a large white woman. Or no, she's African American as well. It's four of his pants just fell off. Now there's a fifth large. Incredible. Mr. Panda has got to have a salad section.

[Hans Kim]

Look at the one lady just walking out, catching somebody.

[Scott]

This is like Texas Grill when somebody chokes. Pretty normal. Mr. Panda, that sale did not go as well as you'd hoped.

[Brady]

Next chick fights. A lot better.

[Scott]

I was wrong about having diversity. I hate it here.

[Brady]

Now.

[Hans Kim]

I've seen this one. This one is good.

[Scott]

Okay. Oh, there's hot girls.

[Mike King]

Nice.

[Scott]

Finally, hot chicks throwing each other around in a low ceiling department and they can barely keep their feet.

[Hans Kim]

Their one move, they grab their hair.

[Scott]

Because they know it'll come off.

[Brady]

She's got a double.

[Scott]

Oh, my God, this is so hot. Not one man helping. Oh, they're punching each other in the face. Oh, My God. Just Daisy Duke shorts and hair extensions getting thrown all over the hot girl room. This sorority, it's like the room is Lionel Richie's all night long video. They get to a certain point, they just all fall down for no reason. Good Christ. Those shorts, though.

[Brady]

Good fight.

[Scott]

Oh, man, that's good stuff.

[Hans Kim]

Not really punching as much as she is tapping with her fist on her.

[Scott]

Well, she went right to the hand job move. She doesn't know how to do anything else with her fist.

[Brady]

Yeah, the one that crashed.

[Scott]

Yeah, she's.

[Host]

She don't need a degree.

[Scott]

She wins that fight.

[Brady]

Next one's got a motorcycle and pretty much.

[Scott]

Oh, he just. Oh, he misses the turn and. Oh, my God, his whole body just.

[Hans Kim]

Eyeball dead, limp.

[Scott]

Oh, Jesus. You see an eyeball?

[Hans Kim]

Something came out of him.

[Scott]

He died sitting up.

[Mike King]

Yep.

[Scott]

How about that? He looks comfortable.

[Hans Kim]

A dead guy standing up yesterday.

[Scott]

Oh, my God. Yeah, he's done. That's his neck just. He's internally decapitated.

[Hans Kim]

His jaw or something came off.

[Scott]

Something fell off of him.

[Brady]

Sleeping.

[Scott]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Holberg's Morning Sickness. 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Last night I went over to grab Pedialyte at the. I love Pedialyte. And I went over to get some at the. Oh, no, at the CVS here on 44th street and McDowell. And inside I walked by, there's a candy display of, like, Reese's Peanut Butter. It's like some weird Halloween. It's really. As you first walk in, to your.

[Hans Kim]

Right, one of those cardboard displays full of stuff.

[Scott]

It's. Yeah, but it's got, like. It's got, like, plastic spiders and like, a bunch of weird stuff. And then, like, a hairdryer. It's just CVS and. And so I'm. I go in and I kind of see to my right because I heard and I'm like. I turned over and I see the security guard standing there with his arms to his side.

[Brady]

It's amazing.

[Scott]

And I walked over and grabbed the Pedialyte and I'm like, I gotta go take another look at that. I gave the video and put it up. And the dude is security for. Is it a CVS or Walmart or Walgreens?

[Host]

It's a cvs.

[Scott]

So I walk by him again, and I'm like, I gotta just film this. So at first, I just kind of casually walked by my phone upside down just to get. He's gonna wake up. And then I just spent a few minutes just walking around him while he literally. His pants were falling off.

[Hans Kim]

I thought it was like a spirit Halloween decoration that was gonna jump out at you.

[Scott]

And I went over to tell the girl he was guarding, like the only employee to CVS. It was like 9:30. And I said. I said, hey, your security guard. And as I looked over, his eyes were up and he's looking around. He just started laughing. He was out for. I was in there for six minutes. He was out there when I walked in and just woke up as I was leaving. I'd already checked out. I did everything. And I'm like, I gotta tell her.

[Hans Kim]

Not propped up on anything either.

[Scott]

He was standing there, wasn't leaning on anything.

[Brady]

Wake me if you need anything.

[Scott]

SNORING the video I took wasn't very good because I was afraid that he was going to just erupt into alertness, but he was done. So if there's a CVS you want to rob, I suggest 44th Street McDowell. That dude doesn't wake up. The door dings when you walk in. He didn't. He had a rough go. And by the way, not to judge a book by its cover, didn't look fleet of foot either. He didn't look like he was like, you could really probably snatch and grab from that CVS put easily.

[Brady]

The last one is another Toledo street food adventure. This is beach squid.

[Scott]

Ah. What? It's an Asian lady with a squid on a beach. Is that its eye?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[Scott]

What is that? She's reaching into a hole and it looks like a. Oh, she takes a bite out of it. Right out of the water. She ate that thing's eye. It's gotta still be alive.

[Host]

Your videos go too far, Brady.

[Scott]

Oh, my God. I agree.

[Brady]

This has got to be AI.

[Hans Kim]

I don't think it is.

[Scott]

It looks like a melted marshmallow in her mouth.

[Brady]

Why do you go there? God?

[Scott]

Why do you take truth to that?

[Hans Kim]

I was at.

[Scott]

Yes, it was.

[Brady]

It's called Toledo Beach.

[Scott]

Oh, my Lord. I don't even know what part of the squid that is, but that's its eyeball. She just devours it right out of the ocean. Okay, get it off.

[Brady]

Mukbang video.

[Scott]

Oh, my God. Is it over?

[Host]

Good.

[Hans Kim]

Hashtag food porn indeed.

[Host]

Oh.

[Scott]

All right, Brett, Friday, go.

[Host]

Yep, it sure is.

[Scott]

Oh, boy. Happy Halloween, everybody. Here we go. Start. We'll start off a little mild, all right? Start here with a black licorice gigantic sex toy going into open house. This thing is two feet long. It looks like a twisted vine of a ficus tree going in her. She's Spinning it for her pleasure. She's not fat either.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Scott]

That noise is repulsive. Sound is what sells. Wow. All right, how long does she do this? Two more minutes.

[Brady]

That's.

[Scott]

She's spinning that thing around like she's going to town. Like she's drilling down for water. Oh, wow. That's enough.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Scott]

That's her butt. All right, that's one good kickoff. Happy Halloween again.

[Brady]

All right, well, we know what's coming here.

[Scott]

All right, there's a pan on a hot plate.

[Brady]

Is it the omelette?

[Scott]

It could be the omelette. I've seen something similar. So he's waiting for the pan to heat up.

[Host]

Well, you read the beginning of it. Yeah, yeah.

[Scott]

There's a naked, fat, naked lady with a yogurt cup full of a man's junk. And she's stirring it up. Taking a little nibble. Taking a little nibble. She's eating with a fork. She's stirring it. She's whisking it. She's whisking. Whisking the eggs. Is that a Snickers underneath for later?

[Brady]

I don't think there's eggs in there.

[Scott]

She is so fat and so gross. She'll eat anything. She's like the Mikey of porn. Skip ahead a little bit. She's pouring it in. No, no butter. It's gonna stick.

[Brady]

No, it's just straight up.

[Scott]

She's gonna wreck that pan when she cleans it. Oh, she's got her little wooden spatula. The seed is bubbly. Oh, you know what? Made less than you thought. It's nice. It's a crispy, golden brown. She still. She likes it. She likes her eggs over hard. Oh, it's now on her plate. And now the fat lady is blowing the heat off of the seed eggs that. Oh, she takes a little bite. How's it taste?

[Brady]

Fat lady, hot omelet.

[Hans Kim]

Bjork let herself.

[Scott]

Yeah, she does look like Bjork. She's eating worse. Oh, my Lord. This is what you eat at Mr. Panda, by the way. That's why it goes the fight. Oh, my God.

[Brady]

That's it.

[Scott]

She just devours.

[Host]

Yeah, she made a seed omelette.

[Scott]

Cooked eg. Okay, that was gross, too.

[Host]

We were sent out. Since it is Halloween, here's some horror porn for you.

[Scott]

Okay, we're in a crazy basement. Looks like some sort of serial killer's basement. Two people enjoying each other's company.

[Hans Kim]

Couch here, the floor.

[Scott]

Two people very much in love. They're in a dungeon of some sort. Oh, she turns around into some sort of oh, she's an AI Zombie. It cuts to evil Dead. Evil Dead, yeah. All right, that's a good cut. Oh, now she's, like pretending to be a zombie and she's. The ring. Oh, my God. Did he just have sex with that thing? Oh, she's going back in. Wow, they're really into the costumes. Her eyeballs are incredible. All right. I don't know what I'm looking at. Spooky. But it's making me kind of excited. All right, that was weird. Halloween porn. All right, guy landing up. Use a variety of different techniques to spread their seeds as far as possible. This won't be good. One of the most remarkable is this one, the lady. It's called Ecbalium and it's a relative. He's pointing to cabbage or cucumber. For several weeks now there's a guy putting a finger in someone's butt. Inside the pods, until now they're as taut as a. Well, put his finger in a girl's butt. Well, Sir Richard Attenborough, or David, whatever he is, starts to talk about it. He nudges the cucumber. Fascinating. Attenborough starts laughing. That's clever editing. Was that on BBC? I'm pretty sure, yeah.

[Brady]

I would say best one.

[Scott]

That was pretty excellent work.

[Brady]

BBC.

[Scott]

Something shot out of that girl's butt about two feet. And then Attenborough left. All right, she's. This is a naked lady who's throwing up and sitting on a. What is that? What is wrong with this? This is K pop, right? This is. I think so she's sitting on something and it's creating some sort of a gigantic. She's puking out all of this frosting. Then she go, Jira. She's making her lady. She's making her lady bits Breathe.

[Mike King]

Jes.

[Scott]

Oh, my God.

[Brady]

What the.

[Scott]

It was like a 90 pound Asian girl who had a sarlacc pit.

[Brady]

Crotch pit.

[Scott]

Oh, my God.

[Host]

I don't know if I can.

[Scott]

That thing can find truffles.

[Host]

So we'll just end with this.

[Scott]

Oh, it's Scott Taylor. Somebody in a ski mask.

[Brady]

What? He was.

[Scott]

This is what Scott is probably. She's gagging herself till she throws up what looks like cream corn into a. Oh, somebody's gonna eat that. Oh, this is gonna get worse. Oh, what's going on over in those Asian countries? Okay, she's revealing her nose a little. Oh, now she's farmers blowing into the puke bucket. There's a farmer's flow into the puke bucket by Scott Taylor's costume. And now she's pulling her pants down now. She's pulling her pants down. I think she's gonna probably pee in the puke bucket as well. All the bodily fluids available are going into this pitcher. She's now peeing. There's that. All right, all right, we get it. You enjoy peeing a lot.

[Brady]

Smoothie queen.

[Scott]

She's shaking it up. All right. It's a good mix. Oh, no, Brett, no. It's puke, it's snot, and it's the lady, and it's all coming out of her.

[Host]

This is. This is only part one. Here's part two.

[Scott]

Do we play what happens next, or is she all by herself?

[Brady]

One other.

[Scott]

Oh, she's gonna poop in it, isn't she? She shook it up. It's about 5 to 6 ounces of vomit and snot. I'm not.

[Brady]

I'm not believing this.

[Scott]

Okay, now she's got the pitcher top open. Her mouth's getting too close to that pitcher top not to do what I think's gonna happen next. She's about to ingest everything. Oh, she's gonna pour it in another guy's mouth. Here she is pouring it into a guy's mouth. Oh, crap.

[Brady]

I can't watch. I can't watch.

[Scott]

There's more. Enough, God damn it.

[Mike King]

Wait a minute.

[Brady]

You're missing it. Jacket on this side.

[Scott]

I got to turn around. Oh, she's wiping it off the guy's face and putting it back in. Oh, looks like noodles. Where did the noodles come from? This is the worst episode of Squid Games I've ever seen. Oh, there he goes. Oh, she's feeding it over. I can't. Come on, man. There's like, seven seconds left. Oh, all right. Happy Halloween, everybody. I think I pulled something. I think the show's canceled.

[Brady]

Delete.

[Scott]

Oh, my God.

[Host]

They walk amongst us, too.

[Scott]

Patience.

[Host]

Yeah, them too.

[Scott]

Wow. Provide. Provide is the eight o' clock word for the promo code. My sweet Lord.

[Brady]

That was the toughest one.

[Scott]

That was a rough one. It's a rough one. Good for Halloween, though.

[Hans Kim]

We created George Harrison needs to be brought into it.

[Scott]

Huh?

[Hans Kim]

Sweet Lord.

[Scott]

Hi, Sweet Lord.

[Host]

That's because he just watched that video.

[Scott]

Yeah. Say 24. Yeah, I gotta go. PD light up. Refresh this.

[Hans Kim]

Hans Kim.

[Scott]

Hans Kim's gonna join us a little bit. We'll talk to him. He's doing Halloween up there. It's Copper Blues, Desert Ridge.

[Brady]

Right.

[Scott]

Or at the Ridge Improv. He'll be there. You can go see him and then pop over to. No, you can't. Because it's sold out. But we'll be the ones you hear outside of the improv, starting about nine. Hans Kim, we're gonna be in here in just a little bit and we'll show him that video and we'll see what he thinks. It's 98. Hey, it's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[Scott]

I have heard enough of this.