10-31-25 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 10-31-25 – FULL SHOW – FRIDAY
Date: October 31, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Guest: Hans Kim

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Episode Overview

This special Halloween episode of Arizona’s #1 morning radio show is packed with musings on quirky traditions, dark historical conspiracies, haunted dolls, and the team’s raucous commentary on costumes and pop culture. Balancing macabre humor and irreverent banter, John, Brady, Brett, and Toledo dive into everything from the “phantom time” theory behind the Dark Ages, to paranormal gadgets and haunted dolls, to news of the strange, and an extended interview with comedian Hans Kim.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Halloween Vibes, Warm Arizona Style

(02:22 – 04:20)

• The show kicks off with the crew reveling in an unusually warm 88-degree Halloween, poking fun at the rest of the country.
• Holmberg talks about having his Christmas lights installed early (“You get a $200 discount if you do it early.”) and contemplates covering them with ghosts until Christmas.

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2. The "Phantom Time" Dark Ages Theory

(04:53 – 13:24)

• John shares a late-night rabbit hole: the “phantom time paradox”—a theory suggesting 300 years of the calendar (600–900 AD) may have been fabricated for political or religious reasons.
• They debate the plausibility: why would societies with good record-keeping (Romans) suddenly have a 300-year gap with zero records?
• Notable quote (06:32, John):
  “They just ditched 300 years to get to the millennium... have the thousand year reign so they could have that as the history. It’s like we reigned for a thousand years!”
• Brady adds, “Because of its negative and often inaccurate implications, many historians avoid the term ‘Dark Ages’ in favor of neutral terms.”
• The group jokes about how easy it would have been to fool peasants before widespread literacy or modern documentation.

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3. Paranormal Gadgets & Haunted Dolls

(21:18 – 31:40)

• John recounts a news segment about a woman investigating haunted dolls (notably one named “Knock Knock Harry”) with a “spirit box,” a device claiming to communicate with the dead.
• The team heavily mocks these gadgets:
  • John (22:14): “Who’s the genius who invented the spirit box? Edison? Because he saw a hole in a market that everybody was rolling their eyes at!”
  • They Google and find Frank Sumption invented the spirit box in 2002.
  • The device is derided as glorified AM radios, “the ultimate pet rock for dumb people.”
• They play YouTube clips claiming to interview dead rockstars via spirit box (Kurt Cobain, Freddie Mercury, OJ Simpson), lampooning the credulity.

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4. Costume Critique and The Office Halloween

(52:10 – 64:19)

• In-studio guest Scott Taylor debuts his annual costume. This year: “Louvre Thief” (referencing a recent art heist), but the outfit requires so much explanation that the crew aggressively roasts him.
• They reminisce about Scott’s previous costumes (Ted Lasso, Scotty Scheffler).
• John suggests more locally topical costumes (Ruby Frankie’s kid) and muses on what makes a great—or terrible—Halloween outfit in the workplace.
• Running Gags: The group relentlessly teases Scott for donning hard-to-decipher and overly complex costumes.

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5. True Crime & Real-Life Horror

(66:19 – 76:57)

• John reads a story about a man who awoke from a months-long coma to reveal his girlfriend intentionally crashed their car out of jealousy. The man’s testimony post-coma leads to her arrest, only for him to pass away soon after.
• The team muses on “coma confessions,” gendered driving stereotypes, and darkly comic relationship advice.

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6. Event Plugs & The Night of the Singing Dead

(77:16 – 80:10)

• The team previews their sold-out "Night of the Singing Dead" show, an annual event where they perform songs by deceased artists.
• They joke about elaborate costumes, musical choices, and the challenge of getting through late-night rehearsals at their age.

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7. Bizarre & Grotesque Halloween Content

(112:53 – 120:45)

• True to tradition, Brett opens “Friday videos” with over-the-top shock content (not described in detail here for taste).
• Audience messages and staff pronounce grossed-out reactions—classic for the show’s Halloween episodes.

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8. Guest: Hans Kim Interview

(121:19 – 141:52)

• Hans Kim (stand-up comedian) joins to talk about:
  • Austin’s booming comedy scene (“I refused to move to Texas... Now that I’m there, it’s great.”)
  • Growing up in a strict Korean Christian household: forbidden Harry Potter, no trick-or-treating (“Candy is the devil’s tool!”)
  • Drug use and comedy culture (“I love being able to, like, have control over what my brain is like.”)
  • AI girlfriends, cruise ships, and cultural differences in Halloween
  • His most embarrassing childhood Halloween (church “man maze” instead of trick-or-treating).
• Classic quote (137:00, Hans):
  "Super Christian, Korean household—we thought Halloween was the Devil's Day. Candy was the devil."

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Memorable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On the Dark Ages theory:
  • John (06:32): “They just ditched 300 years to get to the millennium and have the thousand year reign... we might actually be living in the 1700s.”
• On spirit boxes:
  • John (22:14): "Who’s the genius who invented the spirit box? ... Edison? Because he saw a hole in a market that everybody was rolling their eyes at, and he built these morons a toy."
• Haunted doll story:
  • John (22:38): “Then a few weeks later, I put the spirit box by him, and he just called me a bitch. I hope that’s true!”
• Costume mocking:
  • John (59:16): “You're a Louvre thief? ... You just look like a guy who robbed a Burger King.”
• On coma revelations & justice:
  • John (70:23): "[The girlfriend's] going to jail. ... Turns out he wasn't [cheating]. She nearly kills him. He wakes from his coma, tells the story that she'd been lying...dies. She's going to jail.”
• Hans Kim’s Halloween upbringing:
  • Hans (137:00): “Super Christian, Korean household—we thought Halloween was the Devil's Day. Candy was the devil.”
• On office security:
  • John (110:22): "If there’s a CVS you want to rob, I suggest 44th Street McDowell. That dude doesn't wake up."
• On spirit mediums:
  • Brett (36:17): “11 minutes of the spirit box talking with Kurt Cobain…”
• On pop culture catch-up:
  • John (145:41): “[Stranger Things] isn’t that great, but we’re dying to all have the same thing.”

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 03:00 – 14:00: Dark Ages/phantom time theory, big historical musings
• 21:00 – 35:00: Paranormal gadgetry, spirit box, haunted dolls discourse
• 52:00 – 64:00: Halloween office costumes, Scott Taylor roast
• 66:15 – 77:00: Car accident coma confession, real-life horror story
• 112:53 – 120:45: Extreme Halloween shock videos segment
• 121:19 – 141:52: Hans Kim interview
• 145:09 – 154:36: Pop culture news, Stranger Things, pop songs to erase

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Episode Tone & Language

The tone is classic Holmberg: sharp-tongued, irreverent, and fast-moving, blending sarcasm, absurdity, inside jokes, and Arizona-flavored banter. The show dances between surprisingly deep observations and gleeful vulgarity, especially around Halloween topics and office shenanigans.

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Summary for Non-Listeners

If you missed the show, today’s episode is a non-stop Halloween circus. John and the crew take listeners through weird history, haunted dolls, the stupidity of spirit gadgets, and some truly atrocious office costumes (sorry, Scott Taylor!). Paris of the morning feature jokes about time itself being a hoax, stories of post-coma justice, and why haunted karaoke is better after midnight.

They mock the latest viral trends, savor the annual “Night of the Singing Dead” preview, and cap it with comedian Hans Kim’s tales of growing up Halloween-less and finding freedom (and weed) in adulthood.

You’ll leave this episode laughing, squirming, and maybe questioning whether it’s the year 1725 or 2025 after all. One thing’s for sure: in Holmberg’s Arizona, Halloween is weirder, warmer, and way more fun.

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Show highlights:

• The "phantom time" conspiracy and history’s great gaps
• Spirit box and haunted doll skepticism
• Office costume calamaties
• Real-life horror stories
• A deep-dive with Hans Kim, covering cultural and comic perspectives
• Raucous adult humor and pop-culture riffing throughout

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

533-42-Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Brady]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the WR.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out.

[Brady]

Of state easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John Holberg]

Why choose a sleep number?

[Brady]

Smart bed Can I make my sight softer?

[John Holberg]

Can I make my sight firmer? Can we sleep cooler? Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side your Sleep number setting. Enjoy personalized comfort for better sleep night after night. And now max out your savings. The more you buy, more you save on beds, bases and more. Plus get free home delivery on any smart bed with base limited time. Check it out at a Sleep Number store near you [e-mail] today. Morning sickness the old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Friday Halloween 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. This is the Morning Sickness and we're off and running for a glorious Friday Morning on Halloween. 88-degree Halloween. Take that rest of the United States. That's. I got no complaints. Huge burp on deck though. Did wake up with Alex.

[Brady]

Cool down nice.

[John Holberg]

5:30, like 83, 82. It's going to be perfect. Get your kids all sugar candied up, load them up, toss them in bed. Nine o'. Clock. Roll out to Desert Ridge, Go see night of the singing dead. Have fun with us. Get drunk on Halloween, enjoy our evening and be done with it all. Then the holidays begin. This is it. And I weirdly, you know all the stuff that's going on got busy this busy that I'm going to these things. Got a lot, a lot happening. Pulled up to the house yesterday and saw that my Margie May lighting company had put up my Christmas lights. They're not on by any means, but they're on the house and ready to go.

[Brett Vesely]

Say don't be that scumbag.

[John Holberg]

You get a. You get a 200 discount if you do it early.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow.

[John Holberg]

So. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. My people are smart, man. So I got on that thing when I came home and it said Merry Christmas in my yard. You know the sign. Geez. And then you just look at where it's supposed to be. It's like, my God, it is just absolutely perfect for the kids wandering up. It's crazy.

[Brady]

Just put sheets over it.

[John Holberg]

That's what I'll do. Couple of fat ghosts. There's wide signs. It's all right.

[Scott Taylor]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

It's pretty crazy though. It's a. Here we are just staring into the. Seeing Christmas commercials.

[Brady]

The final stretch.

[John Holberg]

Just weird. It just doesn't seem right. But there it is. It's. This is the most like there's always the. You know, you always get to this time of year and think to yourself, this happened fast. This is a. It's a blip. A lot's gone on, but it has been an absolute blip that we're going to start here in, you know, December to remembers for Lexus and all their basic ads are coming your way. And you're gonna see those snowy commercials. And we're sitting in 90 degree. We. It's not so bad.

[Brady]

I have to figure out what to put the big red bow on.

[John Holberg]

You got your big red bow, you.

[Brady]

Know, from a couple years ago in Kirby's car. Christmas. And we found one of those.

[John Holberg]

And now it's a tradition that you have to get a gift big enough that it.

[Scott Taylor]

No.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Because vows you.

[Brady]

I'll put it on a tiny.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. The big red bow would be Retired as a one off. You don't do that. You want to make it a habit. That's like eventually just gonna buy another car.

[Brady]

Feel bad throwing it away.

[John Holberg]

Throwing it away. Put it on your house. Make your house. There you go. Make it a decoration.

[Brett Vesely]

Kirby's gonna get a Bentley under.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, Kirby's getting another car. That's basically what that means. I gotta make this work. The bow does not sit unused. Kerbert Herbs needs a big prize. That could be. Hey, man, I've had this car for a year now, man. Where's my new ride?

[Brady]

You're right.

[John Holberg]

Curvid Herbs. I've got a bow and no car. That's on me.

[Brady]

It's on a chinchilla.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. We got you a llama. I always wanted one of those, man. This is great, man. I got a lamb that's wandering around the neighborhood stoned out of the be Jesus. Look, I'm biblical Kirby, man. Walking around. It's great. I was watching this thing. You want to talk about a. A mind screwer. Speaking of biblical things, do you know why they call the Dark Ages? The Dark Ages. I learned this yesterday and then just dove into this. It's so weird. There's this German scientist, physicist, whatever he is. I don't know as a historian, all that stuff. And he's like, the Dark Ages have always been this. This blip of time between 600 and 900 where there are no records for no reason anywhere. Like. Well, other than Asia and Asia. Asia kept different time than us. So it didn't like line up with the ad thing. You know.

[Brady]

Egyptians.

[John Holberg]

No, they're nothing. Like there's nothing. So that whole Rome and all that stuff took over that area from 600 to 930. Something. There's no. There's no record. So they call it the Dark Ages. And they're like, we don't really know why that is. That they just stopped writing things down for 300 years. And this German guy has found some things that. That kind of allude to the idea that we're literally right now living in about 1730. Because he said the emperors at the time wanted to be closer to the millennium to make their reign seem like.

[Brady]

They might have speed it up.

[John Holberg]

So they just ditched 300 years to get to the millennium and have the thousand year reign so they could have that as the history. It's like we reigned for a thousand years. Historical documents at the very least. And then they had a couple things made up inside there that nobody can prove. Like there was a Viking Invasion and they thwarted off Vikings. It didn't maybe happen as like a bunch of the things that were kind of after the fact saying this is what we've been going through, can't be confirmed or anything. So they just like, meh, there's a 300 year gap. And I've never known that. I always, you know, people throw the words Dark Ages around and it's. I don't know what the Dark Ages are. I never. Have you ever looked into it? No, you just assume it's a time when I think of the Dark Ages as like way back before, you know, anybody could write anything down. We were thriving societies. That was what it was. You know, it was hundreds and hundreds of years after Caesar, which they kept great records for.

[Brady]

Right. And so they're saying they just decided the record keeping during that time, we.

[John Holberg]

Just burned it up. So by the time. They just burn a lot of it. No, there wasn't anything. You see what I'm saying? There wouldn't be anything to keep. We assume that there's a 300 year gap of no record keeping. But if they jump from 600 to 950, there wouldn't be anything. So it's like, okay, this happened in 650 and then the next day like this happened at 950. What happened? Like, oh, we weren't keeping records then, but it was because it was like a, like a month. And so they just jumped ahead. So there isn't like record keeping to destroy. There wasn't. There was no time passing then.

[Brady]

We just have a lot just before that.

[John Holberg]

Oh, tons. Caesar. I mean Rome, all of it. Like Rome 79 AD at least recording. And we have records from the first olympics which were 500 BC. We have like the numbers, it's crazy. And then you start looking, you're like, yeah, that doesn't make any sense. Why suddenly they wouldn't have anything? And then everybody just kind of got on the timeline over a year or two of telling all the peasants, oh no, no, we've jumped way ahead. That was. And also that they thought that Jesus was coming back on year 1000. They're like, that's going to happen. That's pretty much a thing. So they wanted it. Let's see if we can fool the old man and pop him back in here. And then he didn't show up on a thousand or thirteen hundred. And now it's all screwed up.

[Brady]

What kind of festival they had planned.

[John Holberg]

And they ran it. Yeah, the thousand years like they wanted to be around for. They were Kind of like me. They're like, let's just hurry this up. I think it was a bunch of John Holmberg's walking around in 6, 640 going, seems a little long, doesn't it? Like, he's been gone for a long time. I don't think he's coming back. Maybe if we just, you know, hit fast forward for a second, get to a thousand and see if he does it. And then at the end of that.

[Brady]

Question me, if I add another 300.

[John Holberg]

Years, the emperors are like, what if I just started writing nines instead of sixes? Well, people would notice. Would they? Pretty much everybody's stupid as a stump out there. I don't know if you've talked to the people, but we're the only smart ones. And there's 13 of us. If we all agree on it, this is pretty done. We just got to get like, you know, the really smart dudes that keep looking at the stars and stuff on board just keep the same month. And then at about a year's time, everybody would be just on board. And I never knew what the Dark Ages was, so I started to look into it, like, what this guy's doing. There's a few little blips in there. Like, there's a king who was the third. And they're like, would they have had the foresight to just pretend there were two others? But they might have if they had the foresight to say, let's skip ahead. But it was fascinating to me because then it's. If that ever got proven, then we're in, like, we're in the year 1700 something, and that's. That's all you need to worry about. And it's like, oh, we can start all over. It's crazy. I love it.

[Brady]

I thought there was a big fire in Ireland way back when. They lost a boatload of records. They had one of the.

[John Holberg]

Maybe other people, they wouldn't call it. If that's the Dark Ages, they wouldn't have been in Ireland. So it was. It's just weird.

[Brady]

Well, it was stuff that was brought over from our.

[John Holberg]

But you're still saying that there would be records to destroy. There weren't. If there was no time, there were no records anyway, nothing happened. It would be like me saying, all right, it's 2025 today and tomorrow. I just convince everybody it's 2350. There wouldn't be records in that time. And everybody like, what do we tell people that happen between 2025 and 2350? And be like, I Don't know. Make it up, tell people word of mouth. It. We're not. We don't have any papers or, you know, they didn't have video. They didn't even think about that stuff. It was real easy to lie is what I'm saying. And you just had to write it down and get the emperors to sign it. And they'd be like, cool, let's. Let's pull this off. Maybe they were just a bunch of jokesters.

[Brett Vesely]

They're, like, signing house papers.

[Brady]

Yeah, fine.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, okay.

[Brett Vesely]

Just whatever. Yeah, I'm good.

[John Holberg]

Maybe that was it. It's like. Maybe it was. It was like, great American title was still around there. You know what? Let me just stack papers in front of them. They'll never read this. Plus, Brett, back then, the parchment wasn't cheap, so they use a lot of stones.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that's true. Oh, man, you can imagine.

[John Holberg]

Go to a home loan back in those days. Just a. Just a room full of quarry you're sitting there carving your name into. Aah. For Christ's sake. How long am I gonna have to do this? We're not giving paper to everybody. See, that's what I do with my time. I was looking up Dark ages stuff.

[Brady]

But at the same time, even if it was written down.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Hardly anybody could read, Right?

[John Holberg]

So it didn't matter.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

So you just say. I got some peasant says, it's the. In the. Oh, yeah, 638. I'm like, man, that's 300 years ago. Are you kidding me? You didn't hear? Yeah, we jumped ahead 300 years. Would you go to sleep? Oh, no. And then they would just wander around thinking that they were. They were.

[Brady]

That, I guess, the fall of the Roman Empire. A bunch of. A bunch of the writers died so no one could write.

[John Holberg]

There wasn't anything to write. They skipped 300 years. If this is real, it's crazy. So they're just like. Just call it the Dark Ages, and the dummies won't know. And then some dude in Germany's been studying it, and when you start looking into it, you're like, hey, that is weird. Like, all they were, like, meticulous record keepers, especially because all those emperors were so incredibly vain that they wrote about themselves, and they moved a lot of calendars and times to give themselves another day and a month named after them. And they just suddenly decided to just want to have, like, a picnic for all of them for 300 years.

[Brady]

But that was in the Roman Empire.

[John Holberg]

It was. All of it just moved. That was who's in charge? So then they moved around. It's like that was where our history came from. We go to the other ones, we're like, yeah, that didn't happen then. That was in like 900. And you tell the dumb nations, like, oh, all right. They were in year 900. We missed it by 300 years. We're idiots.

[Brady]

I don't care, as long as my crops come in.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, they didn't know. It's like, if we had 300 crops, I don't think we have. Yeah, no, it's 900. And the weather, well, then stayed the same so long as they kept it October. I found that fascinating. It's like I've never known what the Dark Ages were. Now that I kind of do. And not that it's even a conspiracy. It would just be like, it says, we've been with this for years. And why would that.

[Brady]

Because of its negative and often inaccurate implications. Many historians avoid the term Dark Ages in favor of neutral terms like early Middle Ages or early Medieval period.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, they got that whole thing with the guys that break it down to a bigger time period. But there is a 300 year gap of nothing and a few things that they added in. They don't really have documents of. They just the storytelling, you know, it's weird.

[Brady]

Just like that gap in Christ's life too. You don't have much.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, he was like, born and then he was 12 and 30. Yeah, it's like, wait a minute. We had one moment where he was a kid going, I built a table. I'm pretty good at it. Hey, good on you, kid. I did a trick. He's learning some magic through a temper.

[Brady]

Tantrum at a temple.

[John Holberg]

He'd be busted up. He was. He hated the Jews, ironically. Was mad at his parents. You know, his dad was never around. He's like, basically Toledo. Oh, man. Never thought of that. Yeah, I looked into that last night and I'm like, oh, no. Have I read about this for 45 minutes at 1:30 in the morning? What's wrong with me?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, where did this come from, actually? I mean, where. Why did you start studying the Dark Ages?

[John Holberg]

Well, Brett, it's Halloween. Well, because Halloween is all these stories about, you know, what was it like here? Dark Ages, this. Where was, you know, what was Halloween like originally? All Hallows Eve? So I was reading a little bit about this stuff, and then something said, did the Dark Ages actually occur? Or is it 1730 something? I forget the year. It was in the story. I'm like, 17:30 what the hell is this guy talking about? Click. John's gone for.

[Brett Vesely]

There we go.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Because if you would ask me right off the bat, Dark Ages, I was thinking, oh, the plague, the boo bond sure wiped out.

[John Holberg]

You don't even know.

[Brady]

That was like a dark period.

[John Holberg]

These guys were geniuses. Back in 640, they'd be like, dude, dude. No one, like 2,000 years from my. Nobody's going to know what we were talking about. They don't even care. Let's skip ahead. Let's get to a thousand. That's a cool year. I want to be alive in the year 1000. So let's just. Let's lean on it. And it was like, you know what? He's right. People in the future won't even know what the Dark Ages are. And what were the Dark Ages to them. They didn't know they were in the Dark Ages. They weren't aware of it. Nobody says, ah, here in the Dark Ages. Nobody called it that. Then we made it up. And the reason it's called the Dark Ages is because the information is lacking. It's dark. They went.

[Brady]

There's something about that 300 year period.

[John Holberg]

They didn't want to write about all of them. Like, all those guys, like, just. Let's not talk about my reign as emperor. I don't really want any. I don't want any credit for it. I do it for me. Really. It's my passion.

[Brady]

They hated the Fenwick family.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. The Fenwicks will not be known through history. We'd like to be quiet. Anonymously. Running room. They write down a few. Henry 1. What do you say we go. What are you, Henry iii? Yeah, that works.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holberg]

I'll be Henry iii. In between there, we'll have some Viking. We'll have. They're not around anymore, so nobody cares. We'll just thwart the Vikings that showed up in Rome one day. And that's the big story. They've got the Viking invasion of Britain and Hadrian's Wall. Yeah.

[Brady]

That's a thousand years old. Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Well, it's like the thing when you talk about Cy Young. I know, it's weird. People lied all the time and there was no Internet or cameras. Cy Young's. Cy Young's record is the most made up stat in sports. 525 career wins, which means he pitched for 25 years and won at least 25 games every year with 60 strikeouts nowadays. Yeah. And you guys, guys who can't go four or five innings now. Yeah. Come on.

[Brett Vesely]

And they didn't have closers and middle relievers. They pitched the whole game.

[John Holberg]

John Campanero was an old comedian, and he said that he goes, what are they on the honor system at the end of a game? All right, Si, How'd you do? What'd you throw? I threw two games today and one of both, and I struck out like 10 in the first game and 14 in the second one. All right, so great work. Great work out there. Nobody was paying attention, so you could just lie. And then cameras showed up and it got harder to do. We still try, but it's really strange. Oh, this guy says, I've read about it. It's called the Phantom time Paradox. I wrote to you about it before and you ignored it. Yep. I wasn't interested when you wrote to me about it.

[Brady]

It was worded like that. Yeah.

[John Holberg]

It wasn't 1:30 in the morning after, you know, a band rehearsal. And I fell asleep on the drive home. I was tired and I missed my exit on the freeway and woke up at Colter and Camelback. I was. It did. It was not good. Thank God. There was nobody out on the freeway. But I. I remember the last thing I saw was the Bethany home half mile.

[Brady]

You woke up. It was a year later.

[John Holberg]

I woke up and there was 936. We were back in them.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

The Phantom time paradox. Thank you. T Van, I'm sorry I ignored you earlier. It is very interesting, but I had no idea. It says, how is Brett not laughing hysterically that the entire show so far has been about the Dark Ages? All right, that's enough. I'm sure your emails are.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah. Are you kidding me?

[John Holberg]

New people.

[Brady]

It's like we're in them now.

[John Holberg]

New people, 6am Code word for taking it in the app is finance. Finance is your first word for 6am today. And you get all that going. Try to win yourself a thousand bucks. It's a pretty good deal. 1000 bucks is never bad, you know, and then that's the reason. The Dark Ages, that this guy's right. That I did. I don't want to. T. Van, when did you write me about the Phantom time paradox? Because it is when you start reading about it. And then the worst thing about those stories, there's another little blue clickable line in the middle of it. You nail that. Now you're deeper into it. Then you start reading about the guys who are really studying this, and it is fascinating and seemingly probably feasible. Beyond that, they just lost everything. Like, one makes more sense than the other. The one we accept is well, they just stopped talking about stuff. And the one that is real is. Or they just skipped ahead and nothing. You know, there was no records to keep because it went from Saturday 6:35 to Monday, 9:33. And then they were just laughing their asses off, effing with the peasants. It's very neat. I like the idea of this. I've always been fascinated by that because the Bible is kind of shaky as far as details, but you go back and look at Rome's history, you know, they had tons of stuff about like, five, six hundred years before the birth of Jesus that they kept. Meticulous records, tons of them.

[Brady]

I get all those stories, you know, through the algorithm on the news thing of discoveries. Four cities that they didn't believe just, you know, existed that LIDAR talked about.

[John Holberg]

Have been discovered or have.

[Brady]

And then you go in there.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Or have they. Because they do a lot of LIDAR things and find out it's just a city that they want to be the thing or a city.

[Brady]

They had no idea.

[John Holberg]

Look, if they can get again, it's the same exact thing those Dark Ages guys were doing. They find something and they're like, okay, who's in on it? With me telling everybody we just found Babylon, it's like, I'm in. Like, even if we didn't, this is what we're going to. We're going to lie and we're going.

[Brady]

To make this for right now.

[Brett Vesely]

Just shut them up. Agree with him.

[John Holberg]

Go with it. Yeah. You filmed Babylon, so we're going to make a ton of money writing books about this. It's great. This is. John, it's way too early for this crap. You're hurting my head. We already got to deal with the Brady Report and say, that's true. I do have. It is punching over the head. Me. It's making it work. But it's Friday. We should be working a little harder in the morning. Our brain should be, you know, flying. I've only got, like, two hours under my belt after 30 hours up, two hours sleeping. So there's a possibility that some of this is just brain bubbles on my head that are bouncing around. But look, that is a fascinating thought. You can start talking to other people, you know, at your work and annoy them with it, but it is pretty great. And then you got, you know, all the stories that come up in the Halloween of the, you know, the haunts and. The haunts and spooks of the season. Come on.

[Brady]

What, me?

[Brett Vesely]

I kept quiet during the Dark Ages.

[John Holberg]

All right? The haunts and freak shows.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holberg]

There you go. I saw a thing last night also. One of the things that led me to this was a lady who's writing books about haunted dolls. And she's got one called Knock Knock Knock was Knock Knock Harry. And she gets the chills every time she goes by him. And then Knock Knock Harry, she. She got herself a. Basically a Ghostbusters machine. That paranormal. Paranormal torch or something.

[Brady]

Picks up the vibes.

[John Holberg]

And that's the. That's the one thing that I'm like, put this on tape. Or otherwise, you're just the CW frog that sings it. Hello, my baby hello, my honey. Yeah. And then when people are looking, like, if you can't make Knock Knock Harry say anything to people other than you, then what does it matter? So she's studying haunted dolls, and she's like. And I just didn't realize what was about to happen. So the Knock Knock Harry, she gets the paranormal. It's a spirit box. Like the name of the van. It's called the Spirit Box.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[John Holberg]

And you know what that is? Zach Baggins. Zack Baggins loves that.

[Brett Vesely]

Probably bought it off his website.

[John Holberg]

That fraud goes around and does that. So she puts it next to the Knock Knock Harry, and she tells the story that she's like, I got through it. And then it started to give off paranormal vibes and activities. And I said, I need to know what your name is. I need to know who you are, confirm that you're there. And the doll goes, I'm Knock Knocked Harry.

[Brady]

Hi.

[John Holberg]

I'm like, well, that seems innocuous and pretty nice. And then she's like. And he always made me uneasy. And then a few weeks later, I put the spirit box by him, and he just called me a bitch. I hope that's true.

[Brett Vesely]

I think dumb was before the bitch part. But, you know.

[John Holberg]

Well, here's the thing that Knock Knock Harry should have said. You need help. You're sick. You've got schizophrenia in Halloween. We start taking these lunatics and we put them on news stories like they're not insane. And they're sitting there with their doll going, this thing talks. He calls me names. In fact, he calls me a bitch. It's like your doll called you a bitch. And you just like, what is it, less than a pound? Finish him. This is easy. Oh, you can't cause this. Oh, no, you can't, because you want to write a book about haunted dolls in nutbag. You've seen Chucky.

[Brett Vesely]

Come on now.

[John Holberg]

Right, I have seen Chucky. And it was Funny, because, you know, if you could.

[Brady]

If.

[John Holberg]

Look, you're gonna win all the awards if you take Knock Knock Harry to Sweden and go, hey, Nobel people, I got some science up your ass right here. Watch this. And then put the doll down and turn your spirit box on. Who's the genius who invented the spirit box? Google search that. Edison. Because he saw a hole in a market that everybody was rolling their eyes at, and he built these morons a toy, and they walk around with it. It's got credibility now as a thing. They sell these for thousands of dollars. A spirit box. And this lady's buying, I'm gonna get me a spirit box. Anybody who says they gotta order it, you gotta buy a spirit box. There is a guy who wakes up every morning laughing hysterically. That his entire life, his career, he basically sold the ultimate pet rock to dumb people. Spirit boxes. He's laughing all the way, you know.

[Brett Vesely]

Going to cash the checks.

[John Holberg]

Giant check from giant checks from morons. And there is an abundance of morons. And he's like, what? What can. What can I do that's a quick buck that I can fleece morons like in the olden days and not get in trouble for it. Like, they do it to themselves. He built spirit boxes.

[Brett Vesely]

Frank Sumption.

[John Holberg]

That guy invented the spirit box.

[Brady]

Now chances are you buy them on Amazon.

[John Holberg]

Oh, how much are they? 2002. Frank Sumption. My guess is Frank Sumption is also nuts. Instead of what I wish he was, which was like me, and just, hey, look, guys, this thing talks to. And so in 2002, Frank Sumption invents the spirit box and doesn't, like, win an award or anything because there's nothing real about it. It's basically a Home Depot bucket with a couple LED lights. You go over to, you know, Home Depot, you grab a couple lights, you glue them on the side, maybe a propane tank to make it hiss. And then that's it.

[Brett Vesely]

There's moonshine. Business wasn't doing too good, so he.

[John Holberg]

Decided to switch on over moonshiner.

[Brady]

Oh, that is quick money.

[John Holberg]

Anytime. Talks to ghosts in his spirit box.

[Brett Vesely]

Died of a heart attack.

[John Holberg]

Oh, recently.

[Brett Vesely]

2014.

[John Holberg]

Oh, okay. So he only got 12 years with his invention to enjoy the rubes sucking it up. I mean, that is an unbelievable amount of dumb buying up us if you have a spirit box in your house. We were teasing Brady about his sound bowls. If you've got one of those, don't stick around for the party that's coming your way. It just get out of there.

[Brett Vesely]

Apparently uses The AM radio band. Well, they're finally using it for something.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, no one's listening. Wait, Ghosts only travel through am?

[Scott Taylor]

Yep.

[Brady]

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[John Holberg]

Franklin University makes it possible. Get the skills you need to succeed at Ohio's number one nonprofit university for online degrees. Franklin's flexible programs in business, healthcare technology and education help you earn a high quality degree faster. And our tuition guarantee lets you lock in what you'll pay from your first term through graduation. Get started at franklin.edu. franklin University makes it possible. Holmberg's morning sickness. So last Saturday, when my friends and I were going to go up in our jeeps to Sedona, I have a CB in my jeep for talking to each other while we're off roading, Right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

And so my buddy Anthony went out and bought these 600 radios. I'm going to call them spirit boxes.

[Brett Vesely]

There we go.

[John Holberg]

And. And there's some. And the. We couldn't communicate because the citizens ban CB only does like 20 megahertz. And his was like bottomed out at 125. So we couldn't do it. But you're telling me ghosts understand the hurts that they have to travel in and they can't. They can't bust out into the FM band or the citizens band or ham. They have to be on AM radio.

[Brett Vesely]

Nobody else is using it. That's right.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Because radio executives have ruined that as well. Leave it for the ghosts. Oh, Bob's. We got a lot of them. And maybe that's what people think they'll turn on like in their car. And like I hit this button and there are these really bad voices talking about Sports. That's a ghost. There's no way that any station in the world would allow that kind of poor quality to be their broadcast. And there it is. You listen to Our Sports Station 1060, it sounds more like ghosts coming through your speaker than it does actual broadcasting. That's the spirit box. Bread, apparently.

[Brady]

Oh.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that's. I'm convinced. Look at the beats per minute on this ghost. Not less than this one. This is a nine Inch Nail saw. Can anyone speak to me? Yeah, he's basically picking up truckers. That's the spirit box. Yeah, it's a Mr. Microphone. A thousand dollars.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, babe.

[John Holberg]

Be back to pick you up later.

[Brady]

No, these are 94.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, these are Mr. Microphones. This is the cheap version. How come you have to dress like Elmer Fudd to believe in the spirit box? That's two guys in a row.

[Brady]

You can go down to 20. The 26.99 spirit box has got to be.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, and then you just get a bunch recorded Jewish ghosts to come praise your purchase. That's a good idea. You could have wasted all that money on an expensive spirit box, but you got this one. God. Very nice.

[Brett Vesely]

100 bucks. You can get in. Well, you can get. You can go cheap too.

[John Holberg]

So you're telling me that to speak to the great beyond on this Halloween. It's a hundred dollars.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, nobody writes for free.

[John Holberg]

I mean, DVDs were like a thousand fifty nine.

[Brady]

1.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't cheap out if you're doing it.

[John Holberg]

Come on now. Come on. Yeah, that's not. That might as well be a Dowling Rod.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the Harbor Freight version.

[Brady]

But look at. That's a 4.5 rated 1299. You're picking up voices.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, well, because most people who believe in ghosts don't have enough money to be like citizens in the United States. That are normal for 1250. That is ridiculous. Yes, spirit boxes. But this lady's wandering around with her Knock Knock Harry doll and it's starting to call her names. And then she's going to write a book about haunted dolls and I want to know who she's. How do you find these people? Like, do you know anybody with a haunted doll?

[Brady]

Top rated spirit box.

[John Holberg]

Oh, I've got that. I have a haunted doll that calls me a too. Like you're. Go to a therapist immediately. You're insane. Spirit box. The band spirit box.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I don't like them either.

[John Holberg]

I'm not a fan of that either. They're. They're dime store. Some people love spirit box. Yeah, but they're called women. And I don't understand the. I'm not a big spirit box guy. But yeah, I don't. It's Halloween. So it'd be a good gift for somebody for Halloween as a joke. But if they started to take it seriously, it's actually pretty good. Like kind of. Let's see if my girlfriend or wife has gone nuts and you buy them a spirit box and they start playing with it and they pick up some, you know, some truckers on the i10 kind of faintly they're trying to communicate. No, that was. That was mama bear and she's just trying to find out where the next gas and puke is.

[Brett Vesely]

Just bring a spirit box at a bar and if you get some broad. Oh my God. Easy kill.

[John Holberg]

I was haunted. Easy kill. I was haunted once. Oh yeah, I've got a spirit box. You want to see my box? Yeah, show me yours. Did you hear that? Is there anyone here that wants to talk to me? He's in the cemetery. Is idiot. Why do they have to wear fishing vests for ghost.

[Brett Vesely]

His drip is not good.

[Brady]

Catch a spirit, you can put it in the pocket.

[John Holberg]

This is the least cool brother I've ever seen in my life.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, no kidding. Oh, here's one.

[John Holberg]

Why would ghosts hang around the cemetery communicate with us? Trent Rer evidently wants to talk to. Oh, it said no. We are watching. What's your name? Knock knock, Harry. Is there anyone here that likes to communicate with us? You gotta remember that most of the people in a cemetery are old, so get off my lawn is probably what? That's Nine inch Nails. They're picking up AM stations. Oh, this guy. Why would any moron think that often? Why would they hang out in cemeteries? They have access to all of it to you and show you how to do it. So the first thing you're going to need is some soundproof headphones. Then you're going to hear you which can be found on our Amazon link.

[Brady]

Then you turn it on and hold down.

[John Holberg]

Start sweeping and it'll sound like this. Whenever you hear a word coming from the spirit box, you just say it out loud while your friend outside the spirit box ask questions and then see if you can get some answers. Make sure to tag us if you try it out. We get a ton of questions on.

[Hans Kim]

What the answers method is.

[John Holberg]

So we're going to explain it to you. They don't know it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, you wouldn't even want to.

[John Holberg]

But they're going to have to blow their way through life because are you here with us right Now.

[Brady]

A correct.

[John Holberg]

Okay. Are you here with us right now? The dude even in the car? No, he didn't. He said car wreck. He said car wreck. Look up. Look up. Yeah. Oh, God. They've got a big one here. This is a full on. They've got like a speaker system. There's nothing. Has you. Have you picked up a word?

[Brady]

Visit our.

[John Holberg]

Stop visiting our graves. It says it's dead. Like you didn't know. Is there anyone here with me? Stop visiting our graves. Oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, moron. That thing don't work. You pull it off my headstone.

[John Holberg]

What kind of. What kind of dumb dip ghost actually answers the spirit box to tell you to leave him alone?

[Brady]

Do you say correct or erect?

[John Holberg]

All you had to do as a ghost. Just go. Just ignore them. Don't talk to them through their magic boxes. They'll keep coming back if you talk. Ghosts have to know better.

[Scott Taylor]

And pull out a spirit box, listen.

[John Holberg]

To what they have to say.

[Scott Taylor]

You might end up.

[John Holberg]

That one person I'd want to be friends with. Your name. I would love to know your name. What are you, Chip Z? Nuff, the one who volunteered to answer some of my questions. What is your name? I'm all here to listen, my friend Ronnie. I encourage you. You're a dickhead. Ghosts are evidently tired of you trying to talk to them. This guy. This guy's ridiculous. What is? All right, stop asking what their names are, honey. You're picking up trucker signals.

[Brady]

Never knew the spirit box existed.

[John Holberg]

Well, there it is. And it's only 100 bucks. And for morons. And there's a guy right now just sitting there going, my wife's got a spirit box. I bet she does. And I bet it's real easy to get in there. And all you have to do is kind of sort of be far enough away. At nighttime, our 10:60am station drops down to what, like 5 watts? And occasionally you'll put it up. Women. The ghost love women. Samba.

[Brett Vesely]

There's a 14 minute video, but Kurt Cobain said. Sorry. Apparently, I don't know. It's. It's an 11 minute video. It's. I don't know, what.

[John Holberg]

11 minutes of the spirit box talking with Kurt Cobain and 14, you were.

[Brady]

Accepted along with the whole Nirvana band into the rock and roll.

[John Holberg]

He's just letting him know. Oh, that's great. Okay, here with us for. Yeah. Oh, I buy it. I buy this. That's Soundgarden. That's Chris Cornell.

[Brady]

Hey, guys.

[John Holberg]

Welcome back to the channel.

[Brady]

It's me, Cody, here Today we're going to attempt to reach out to the spirit of Kurt Cobain.

[John Holberg]

And they got him.

[Brady]

It was a popular.

[John Holberg]

What are the odds? With the billions of people who have died back in the 90s, how come.

[Brett Vesely]

You didn't get Lane Staley instead?

[John Holberg]

Yeah. If you can get guests like this, what a booking agent you've got before we get Toledo. One of these guests for us. Got guys online booking, dead bodies. We can't get Henry Winkler and his birthday.

[Brady]

Sure. Who or what I'm connecting with due to the.

[John Holberg]

Come on, man. Come on. Be proactive. You know, Kurt. Kurt Cobain's available for interviews, by the way. You know, big a deal that would have been for us 90 bucks. I know we can't get our phones to work, but maybe a spirit box would be. A spirit box would actually be more technologically sound than our phones.

[Brady]

That looks like a sound design radio. It is in, like, 1982.

[John Holberg]

It's a speaker that was in houses that everybody thought it was cool to have an intercom in, like, 1978.

[Brady]

It's a cool setup.

[John Holberg]

Is it?

[Brady]

Yeah, it's the in. It's the in wall intercom.

[John Holberg]

It's the in wall intercom. They just pulled it out like the.

[Brett Vesely]

Model homes and stuff had.

[John Holberg]

They put plaster around it. And poor. Poor Kurt's talking.

[Brady]

He's.

[John Holberg]

He's just dad to be. Well, that's the new story. Also listed in the greatest 100 songwriters. This guy's breaking out his post. His posthumous resume.

[Scott Taylor]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Here on Earth, there's no guitar. Where he went. Guitar. Do you still.

[Brady]

That's a bold claim, too. That's the cleanest spirit.

[John Holberg]

Oh, super clean. There's no static. It's the Steely Dan of spirit boxes. No static at all. Guitar spirits. What a terrible group of questions. But you've got Kurt Cobain on the horn on the other side.

[Brett Vesely]

They couldn't come up with anything else.

[Brady]

People.

[John Holberg]

You play your guitar?

[Brady]

Still play guitar. Is there a reason? Anything you want me to tell Francis Bean?

[John Holberg]

Yeah, hold on a second. I'm gonna go get your daughter. Will you wait? There's no guitar where I live. Okay.

[Brady]

Maybe you recognize this?

[John Holberg]

Yeah. He kills himself again. Great. Now I need double spirit box.

[Brady]

I'd really like to know what a quiet zone is. I think it could answer some of the questions.

[John Holberg]

How many views does this have after us?

[Brett Vesely]

206,000.

[John Holberg]

206,000 people, including us now.

[Brett Vesely]

I know.

[John Holberg]

Well, there's your Halloween treat for the morning, everybody. Spirit boxes.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holberg]

Kurt. Kurt stuck around for that interview, you.

[Brady]

Know, it sounds pretty good.

[John Holberg]

I. I was conversational. I was relatively knew in radio right after he died, and I had spoken to a few people that dealt with Kurt Cobain in interviews. And he was difficult, but when he, you know, now he seems to have all the time in the world, really. And he gave this guy a good hour long interview. That's awesome.

[Brady]

I think there's a little regret. It sounds like. Yeah, same stuff.

[John Holberg]

Well, sure, yeah. He'd like to have stuck.

[Brady]

The world's a better place.

[John Holberg]

You know, maybe it's when you get Kurt Cobain on the spirit box. I wonder if they have that, you know, the PR guy that comes on and goes, one more question.

[Brady]

We've got other spirit interviews.

[John Holberg]

55 spirit boxes across the country to get to her. You've only had five minutes with him. You've gone over.

[Brady]

It would be great if it was.

[John Holberg]

Cut it off. Yeah, yeah, Kurt Cobain. Oh, we lost him now. We pushed it to the limits, boys. Anyway, the late Kurt Cobain on our spirit box. Even. Even Native Americans are emailing me going, spirit box. This is ridiculous. Sounds like pirate air or pirate radio. Air checks from the end to pump up the volume. It's Halloween, Ryan. That's what we're playing. Spirit box. 100 bucks a pop and you could possibly have a haunted doll in your house. You don't even know it. You need a spirit box to find out. We are surrounded by real dumb people who are dying for that. Literally, for that to be real. And if you. I. Please, if you've got a spirit box, just communicate with me. Internet, you choose the medium. If you have a spirit box, why bother with the email or the phone? You know, get inside me.

[Brady]

Might be something you want to try. 1:30 at night, you know, when you're.

[John Holberg]

Not sleeping, it's like Ouija boards. When I was a little kid, my sister had one and she had a slumber party. That was the one where I was making out with that pillow and that girl. Journey. The love and touch and squeeze. When I talked to you about that a long time ago. But they broke out the Ouija board and all of them started crying. And I was probably six and I was a little scared at first. Like, what do we got going on here? And one of the girls was rational and just said, somebody's moving it. Like, really? Yeah, somebody's moving the stupid thing. And even the girl, and she might have been 10, pointed down to the corner of the board and she said, parker Brothers is not gonna sell this if it's haunted. And she was religious. She was. This is against. She wouldn't play because it was against God.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Black magic. And she wouldn't touch it. But that's when I was, you know, a six. A six year old and a nine year old. Six, seven were sitting there talking about how stupid all the other people in the room might be. I was unsure. I was six. I didn't have any experience in life. I'm like, is this something we do? Is this a thing? They turn six and you can start talking to the dead. And they're like, no. But that little girl, that wise little girl, I think her name was Rachel. No, that wasn't Rachel. Rachel was the tall one I thought was cute. She looked like a horse. I don't remember anyway, but she was the one who goes, they wouldn't. She points to the corner of the thing. They wouldn't sell black magic. I'm like, this chick makes a lot of sense. I'm gonna make out with my pillow tonight and think of you. What the hell? She hated everything about the, you know, future. She's just like, God. That was it. I don't know why she was at her slumber. Mine wasn't mine. I just hung around.

[Brett Vesely]

This guy got Freddie Mercury on the horn too.

[John Holberg]

He did?

[Brett Vesely]

He did? Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Freddie. This dude booked Freddie Mercury.

[Brett Vesely]

What is Toledo doing in there?

[Brady]

The Cobain guy.

[Brett Vesely]

Cobain.

[John Holberg]

He's got Mercury and Cobain. And we've got Hans Kim today. And I'm no offense to Hans K.

[Brady]

To new ideas and new things.

[John Holberg]

I'm bumping Hans Kim for Freddie Mercury if he comes through in the box. Oh, he's come to life through the spear. That is clear.

[Brady]

See? Rub the crystals, too.

[John Holberg]

Do you still have an accent?

[Brady]

Wow.

[John Holberg]

You'd think. You think you'd have more to do up there in heaven than come back and talk through one of Those relatively unclearly.

[Brett Vesely]

467,000 views to see Freddy.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, he's as smart as the guy who invented the spirit box by doing interviews of them. Skepticism, that's a lost art.

[Brett Vesely]

Can never be 100% sure who or what is coming through.

[John Holberg]

This guy's getting some. I always think of that as the same as when people tell me about reincarnation. Like this dude got Kurt Cobain and Freddie Mercury coming through his magic Mr. Microphone. That's a pretty good guess.

[Brady]

I'm sorry. It was not Freddie Murphy. It was the actual queen.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, it was Queen. Queen of the dark ages. The people talk about resurrections or, you know, when they've been what they call it, the thing that they come back as another person. I forgot. I just said it and I can't even remember it. You know, Indians believe it. You come back, you've been reincarnated. Yeah. And they always are. Someone no one's ever going to say. You know, a hundred years from now, my past life, I was Brady Bogan. It's not gonna be a thing.

[Brady]

Animals sometimes, Right?

[John Holberg]

Yeah, sometimes they say that. But most of the time they were like, you know, and Queen of Scots or like they were something huge.

[Brady]

Brett, you'd bum out if you came back as a rat.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Nope.

[John Holberg]

My sister had another wacky friend who was convinced she was Wilbur Wright.

[Brady]

I have an attorney brother. He convinced his patent.

[John Holberg]

He was patent. Yeah, sure. Because you're that important that Patton would come back as your dumb ass doing nothing. Now, if you were Patton, what a waste your next life was. Why would you come back and be a whole lot less famous and good?

[Brady]

He said he went to a museum where they had a bunch of patent stuff.

[John Holberg]

Like Palm Springs.

[Brady]

Yeah. And he reached under the desk. He knew there was a date underneath there that he had carved out when he was patting. How would I know that?

[John Holberg]

Yeah. You might have read it or something years earlier. Do you think you found the date? It might have been in the things. There's a date under the desk you forgot. And they're like, you're interested in Patton.

[Brady]

Would Patton be proud of you for illegally selling penny. Penny stocks?

[John Holberg]

Is that what the guy did?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

So he was kind of a pioneer. Twice.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holberg]

Is he in jail?

[Brady]

He did sometimes.

[Hans Kim]

Nice.

[John Holberg]

Brady's buddy did time, you know, General Patton. He literally thought he was General Patton. That doesn't shock me because there are.

[Brady]

People talked about it. One particular. And this was after.

[Brett Vesely]

He's still around.

[Brady]

Yeah. He's. He's out.

[Brett Vesely]

I was gonna say we should get a spirit box and talk to him.

[Brady]

He's selling spirit boxes.

[John Holberg]

Nice. I've never once met anybody goes, yeah, I believe in reincarnation. And I'm pretty sure I've been someone else. Oh, yeah. Who Were you in 1917? I was a guy named Larry Krupke. He. He was. He was a farmer, but he started getting interested in car tires.

[Hans Kim]

I know.

[John Holberg]

Did he invent anything? No. He. He ended up choking on soup. Ow. I know. That was me, though. I was Larry Krupke.

[Brady]

Because isn't the reincarnation part of your journey that eventually they get it all right. Yeah. On the one life. Finally.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You got perfect Nirvana or whatever.

[John Holberg]

And then you're in the spirit box.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holberg]

I don't know because I pretty sure Patton like trying to do better than that in your next life. And this dude is in jail for penny stuff. He's taking the steps backwards.

[Brady]

That wasn't the finishing.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Life there.

[John Holberg]

No, no, no, no. That was. He had more work to do. He kind of set patents. The path that they were on before was really good. Yeah. It's weird.

[Brady]

Mine was wacky. I was Ed Gein for a while.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Nobody ever comes back as that. I think it was Pol Pot. I'm almost positive of it. I have a lot of dreams about Pol Pot. And I went to his house and I knew that there was a secret compartment with some notes in there. And I. I knew it's on the notes. How would I know that if I wasn't pole pot? And then again, the dude in the corner, I was Larry Krupke. Oh, yeah. Larry Krupke. That's not interest. Nobody's interested in reincarnation if you're not famous.

[Brady]

I was a larvae. It was really quick. A native ate me.

[John Holberg]

That was a fly.

[Brady]

Two days into it.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. I broke out of my maggot shell and was stomped within seconds of the flight. I don't even remember what it was like, but I was a fly. Got that right. That's silly. Happy Halloween, everyone, with your crazy nonsense.

[Brett Vesely]

Everybody's sending me. Everybody's sending me ones. This one, apparently is. This guy just messes with ghosts. They call him, like the Maryville kind of ghost hunter.

[John Holberg]

Oh, okay. By myself. What's up? Come on, now.

[Brady]

Cuff.

[John Holberg]

Dante, you here? Dante?

[Brady]

Where's Armando?

[John Holberg]

You don't know. To me, you'll know. Anybody up here. Ghetto ghost. Yeah. Look at my hair standing up. Who's next to me? That's white guy.

[Brett Vesely]

No, he's not.

[John Holberg]

When you see it, you ain't here. Wait, he's not white. His arm is super white.

[Brett Vesely]

I think it's just the camp, the light.

[Brady]

What's hiding in this room?

[John Holberg]

That place is a dump.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah?

[John Holberg]

If you were a ghost, why would you go back to that, I don't know, dump?

[Brett Vesely]

There's no way that's the cleanest one I could find. The other ones he starts.

[John Holberg]

What up, fool?

[Brady]

Come on.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, I like that guy. Finance is the word for 6am and put it in the promo code and get together. You can talk about all these Halloween things at work today. And a lot of places are having their Halloween work parties coming in as. Remember, last year was it last year or the year before when Taylor came in here dressed as Scotty Scheffler. Eight months after the incident with Scotty Scheffler, nobody knew what he was doing. I think it was last year. I don't remember.

[Brady]

He got oj. He booked oj.

[John Holberg]

He got oj. This guy got oj. Was the victim. Was he the victim, we ask you. Yeah, that's. Oh, that's oj.

[Brady]

Of course.

[John Holberg]

There you go. Oj. OJ got it done. There's no question in my mind that that was O.J. simpson. There's no. Oh, no. The spirit box. No. Summoned him. Hate for the world. I don't know why you guys are so. Jay. How you doing? Is yours truly Brady. Happy Halloween.

[Brady]

You're extra spooky today.

[John Holberg]

Hey, Brady. I noticed that. Yes, I was. Now you're gonna make Brett fall out of his chair. Hey, Brady, I went by your house the other day.

[Brady]

You did?

[John Holberg]

And now that I'm a giant haunt, I can't say the other thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Why not?

[John Holberg]

Well, it's not appropriate for. I went by a house and I saw, you know, all the decorations. Feel like Willie into Halloween. What would be scarier than me on your porch? I mean, skeletons can't hurt you. I killed people who weren't skeletons yet. They're easy. I wouldn't have had to stab it. There'd have been no evidence. Brendan, your dream come true.

[Brett Vesely]

Absolutely.

[John Holberg]

Anyway, I appreciate when you guys have me through the spirit box here on your show, and I just want to apologize that I did that interview with that other guy. I know. I got exclusivity with you, too. It's a great show.

[Brady]

Didn't Toledo try to book you before this one?

[John Holberg]

Yeah, you know, I never hear from him. I just kind of. I do cancel cameos. You never know when OJ's gonna show up. Ask Nicole. All right. That's what I'm. I'm just saying. Happy Halloween. Watch out for the haunts and spooks. Okay. All right. There you go. All right. Oj. You know, it's closing this door. That's our spirit box.

[Brett Vesely]

Ours is more believable.

[Brady]

Gary.

[John Holberg]

If I could have one thing I've done on the radio, it's to convince everyone listening that ghosts aren't real. That would be my. If I left and they said one thing John did for humanity is convinced an entire group of people that ghosts as we see them, maybe there is something as we see them, they're not real. As all the stories, most of the.

[Brady]

Ones you hear about I'm with you.

[John Holberg]

They're not real. Yeah, there might be something. We haven't figured it out yet. I'm buying one. I'm definitely gonna have one of those things. We gotta buy a spirit box. And then we'll just keep it on during the show and then when, you know, Marie Antoinette wants to pop in.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, why wouldn't she?

[John Holberg]

On the am. Sorry, you have to go Steely Dan on that one. If you don't get to fm, we're not doing it. Let's get a wake up song. Five eight, five nine, eight hundred a good one for this glorious Halloween. 2025 and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.

[John Holberg]

I have heard enough. Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Oh, my day's been made. Made. I tells you what, it's made. And it's two years in a row that this gentleman has made my day. He's. Is he coming back up? There he comes again. Come on, have a seat over here. Right here on the red mic, it's our own Scott Taylor. Now, he is the. I don't know what you do. You work at something called 2060 digital, and that is where you fleece old people out of their money for Internet sales. Is that right? It's something like that, though.

[Brady]

Like you digital solar sales.

[John Holberg]

You convince companies that they can't do something quite simple without your help.

[Brady]

It's not simple.

[John Holberg]

Well, that's what you have to tell us. Simple.

[Brady]

You try doing.

[John Holberg]

I don't want to. Exactly. It'll just happen on your own.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[John Holberg]

Prove my point. Well, you know, we'll see. We'll see. I. I don't know. I've not known what you've done for a long time. But I'm. I'm sure you're very successful. You're. You're very clean. He's here every day. So Scott is known now by us. He's the one, if you've been paying attention to the show for a while, whose picture went up as Hitler on all the walls with the word believe as a sales motive. It was Ted Lasso. But anything with a mustache and its arm up like that automatically just transferred right, to Hitler.

[Brady]

I didn't realize that picture was taken like that.

[John Holberg]

Me neither.

[Brady]

Thing I thought, I'm like, oh, oh, that's right. He was the Ted Lasso.

[John Holberg]

And to motivate our sales staff, Susan Put those pictures of Scott dressed as Hitler with his arm in the air, pointing to a sign that said believe to get all the people to harder and to fleece the old people into Internet sales faster. So then last year you showed up almost exactly at the same time. You come in, you have a morning dump and ruin the bathroom. And then you come up and last year you were in an orange head to toe orange jumpsuit. And you.

[Brett Vesely]

Huh?

[John Holberg]

And you come to the door and like, oh, and we had that same face this year, I think, oh, okay.

[Scott Taylor]

So disappointing.

[John Holberg]

And like, what are you like, you're working on the side of the road? You're dui. You're like, come on, come on. It's topical. It's topical. And investigation is. No, not this one. Last year when you were in the orange thing. Okay, I'll give you that. That was a little. And he starts to tell us it's topical. We don't know what you are. And you even like, you did facial hair or something. I don't remember what you had done, but you combed your hair different.

[Brady]

I don't know where the orange suit. And then the tell all was the name.

[John Holberg]

Well, we didn't see the name on the Right. And then he points to his back and it said Scheffler. I'm like, oh, right. When Scotty Scheffler was briefly detained earlier this year, you've made a whole Halloween costume out of that. In fact, the detainment was so brief, he made his tea time same day. Right.

[Brett Vesely]

It's amazing.

[Brady]

Still a great story.

[John Holberg]

Had Halloween been February 30, which isn't a day. Hilarious. Oh, you're getting a phone call.

[Brady]

Digital sales.

[John Holberg]

We hear you on the air. Daddy. What's going on? It is actually my daughter. Yeah, I know it is. So then you came in this year and you're in another.

[Brady]

I just thought of another.

[John Holberg]

Hold on, though. But why does he have so many side of the road work project outfits? Why do you have access to. You have another one today. You're in a yellow vest that's got the fluorescence and the glowies on it, the filet hits and jewels and jewels in a ski mask. And you stood in our doorway and we're like, what is it? Get a crown on. And you know, topical.

[Scott Taylor]

He's right.

[John Holberg]

Well, yeah, but it takes some explaining because it's not really like, we thought maybe we were a rapper, I guess. Gonna. And Ghost. Ghostface Killa.

[Brady]

I think I thought he was still, you know, bummed out about his fiftieth. Anniversary that he maybe.

[John Holberg]

I don't know.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

And it almost. When the mask is all the way down, appears that you're in blackface at work, so you have to cover up the mouth. And then none of us could guess. Thriller comes down the hall. And Thriller's like, okay. It's like. It's topical. It's in the news. You hold the crown. And he goes, oh, of course. And I'm like, well, what is it? And he goes, I don't know. I was just being nice. No one knows what Scott's costumes are, ever. But I bet you by those context clues, people have figured out I'm wearing jewels.

[Scott Taylor]

I have a.

[John Holberg]

Well, now when you say jewels, but you're not wearing jewels. You're wearing a Burger King crown.

[Brady]

Like Biggie Smalls.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Yeah. You look like. You look like the album Biggie Smalls was on or the guy who killed Biggie Smalls. But no, you are a Louvre thief. A Louvre thief on the lamb. Come on.

[Brady]

It's solid.

[John Holberg]

And your wife is going to do the same for your. In your neighborhood, your lily white neighborhood.

[Brady]

That'll help, because there is a pair now, they're a pair of criminals wearing the bling.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Can I give you option B? And it won't take much. It'll cost you five bucks. You've recently lost, what, £50? You're very thin now. Okay. You weren't big to begin with, but you've lost a lot of weight, and that's good. You know who else has lost a lot of weight in your community? My community? Yeah. Yeah. And it's topical, too. And I think if we just got some duct tape and, like, a lamp cord and wrapped it around your ankles, your wife could go as Ruby Frankie and you could go as the kid. Your neighborhood would lose their minds over that. How. How huge would that go over? So much better than this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is not. This is a little less topical, though. There's no less topical than what you're doing. She just got convicted.

[Brady]

There's no ongoing investigation.

[John Holberg]

But it's the. It was a NetFL documentary, and it's like, this isn't this Louvre.

[Brady]

You do that, you'll be bishopric.

[John Holberg]

No. Oh, my God. Yeah. Elder. Elder Taylor, my ass. Going. You're going to the top. Be Ruby Frankie, son. All the weight loss. Just stand on people's porches. Don't even ask for candy. Just ask for help.

[Brett Vesely]

All right. Videos posted on our Instagram.

[John Holberg]

We filmed. We filmed Scott standing in our doorway so proud of this.

[Brady]

Not now.

[John Holberg]

A Hulu shirt. Perfect. Get him a little Hulu shirt. Get him a Hulu shirt. And duct tape his hands up. And some tattered socks. I'm not even interested in candy. I just want some help. And then your wife comes around the corner. Get your ass back in the gun. Do you have a lesbian like friend that your wife can walk around with as her guru? And you guys can be the whole cast. Not that I can think of. You and the weight loss. You're Ruby, Frankie's son. Take all this nonsense off. This Louvre costume is terrible.

[Brady]

Horrible.

[John Holberg]

It's worse than Scheffler. What? Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah. Did you have the gold rope beforehand or did you go out and buy.

[John Holberg]

You went out and bought. You planned. All this is new. This wasn't last second. Like I just saw this in the paper.

[Scott Taylor]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

You have a ski mask. No. Your family skis? They don't. They hunt like step kids. A couple of them have ski. Yeah. All right. Well, Scott, thank you for entertaining us annually.

[Brett Vesely]

Hitler.

[John Holberg]

You're gonna win. Scotty Scheffler.

[Brady]

You're gonna win the contest.

[John Holberg]

Are we having a contest again?

[Scott Taylor]

I don't know.

[Brady]

Is there a parade of con. They used to.

[John Holberg]

Didn't she? She was.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holberg]

It was Madeline and then. Was it Rudy?

[Brett Vesely]

Didn't Mike win with his. Mike with his.

[John Holberg]

Oh. He was Mona Lisa. My friend. That was good.

[Brady]

That was pretty solid.

[John Holberg]

That would be great if Mike came and dresses Mona Lisa and you had him under your arm the whole time. But that didn't get stolen. It's the car. Okay. So what? No one knows. Mona Lisa is the loser. You just look like a guy who robbed a Burger King.

[Brady]

And Jennifer Cartwright was lieutenant.

[John Holberg]

Oh, she was Uhura last year. Yeah. With some good ones. All right. Anyway. Scott, you're the best. Thank you so much. There's old people who don't know anything about the Internet. Go. Go take their money. It's the worst costume I've ever seen. I've seen bad ones. You might as well just have a sheet with holes in it. That would have been more. At least we know. And then you could have said you're Jeffrey Epstein. Have a name tag on your sheet with holes in. I like my idea of Ruby, Frankie's son because he's from that community. I believe his wife is blonde and funny. So she'd do it.

[Brady]

I just love that it's a costume that everyone. You have to explain.

[John Holberg]

And it's not a little explanation. Come on.

[Hans Kim]

Come on.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. And he's so. And he was so proud leaving the house. Anyway, seven o' clock word this morning is tycoon. Shut up.

[Brady]

Why'd you just say it like tycoon?

[John Holberg]

Because that's the word. How would you say tycoon?

[Brady]

Yeah, tycoon.

[John Holberg]

That's what I'm saying.

[Brady]

You kind of drugged the tie.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, tycoon.

[Brady]

That's better.

[John Holberg]

It's the same tycoon.

[Brady]

Yeah, it sounds great.

[John Holberg]

Okay. Anyway, that's the word for seven o'. Clock. We should judge your costumes because I. I am brutal about it. I am. I don't let people get away from. With crud. That's got his. Every year it's worse than the year before. Every year, the Hitler year, he was Ted Lasso and that it looked more like Hitler than it did Ted Lasso because he kept pointing to things with. And a man with a mustache. Like, you're just not sure. He was. Actually, Ted Lasso was pretty good until the posters.

[Brady]

It was. I mean, a lot better. He. The.

[Scott Taylor]

Really.

[Brady]

When he came in as Scotty Scheffler, he was just.

[John Holberg]

That was. He was so proud of that.

[Brady]

That so thought it was.

[John Holberg]

Oh, he thought grand slam. He thought we'd start doing cartwheels and stuff and screaming. Scott T for king.

[Brady]

Get it?

[John Holberg]

Another one.

[Brett Vesely]

Guess. No Kings protester.

[John Holberg]

That's what we thought too. We said no Kings Pro. No Kings Day protester. Nope. He's a Louvre thief. And he. And he starts to tell us should carry a ladder around. You're like an electric worker with a. Like a monarchist who works on APS power poles. Because he's just dressed as a worker. But no. I don't know that anyone cared too much about the Louvre thieves. Did they? Did you?

[Brady]

If he had it on the vest.

[John Holberg]

Hi. Oh, bonjour.

[Brady]

Louvre.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, it's a Louvre. Bonjour. Je m' appelle thief. I don't know what the hell's going on now. There's a guy walking down the street dressed as a giant Band Aid. This is nuts. Either that or he's a terrorist. I don't know what's going on with his head.

[Brett Vesely]

He's got Scott Taylor.

[John Holberg]

He's.

[Brett Vesely]

Apparently, he can decipher the costumes.

[Brady]

Is he getting candy or not? If he came to the door, he's.

[John Holberg]

Got California King sheets on his head. He looks like Erykah Badu.

[Brady]

That's candy. Candy. Word.

[John Holberg]

I'd give him candy. What's with the. That is an excessive amount of sheets on your head.

[Brady]

I think that's a woman now.

[John Holberg]

It is yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it is.

[John Holberg]

It is. That was a woman walking down our road. Well, that's the best costume she's got on because I would have never guessed.

[Brett Vesely]

That should be Taylor's.

[John Holberg]

Scott Taylor's in second place for worst costume. But Scott says. Yeah. So people are guessing online and what they now know, he's a Louvre thief. And it still doesn't really work.

[Brady]

There'll be some chuckles.

[John Holberg]

Oh, you give him chuckles. That's the candy he gets at my house. I don't know. If Scott comes up. I would have to. I do. I make kids. Like, what are you. My mom made spaceman costume. Oh, so you're a poor kid. All right, here's some gambling. Andy, your mom made your costume? Yeah, she sewed it together. I'm poor. So Scott Taylor, who makes good money, could have like gone out of his way to. He just got some. He rolled a, you know, a guy on the chain gang and took his outfit two years in a row. He's got side of the road gear on. Oh, Taylor, what a story. I didn't know. Are we having. Was there an email that said we haven't seen one this year?

[Brady]

I don't think so.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't think so.

[John Holberg]

I don't think we can afford prizes anymore. I think it's probably something we can't do.

[Brett Vesely]

We're giving it all to you guys.

[Brady]

Are you kidding?

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Oh, that's true.

[Brady]

That's swag. Closet.

[John Holberg]

Forget it. Probably get tickets to the rodeo. I got them from I heart. It's pretty great. Anyway, make sure you've got a decent costume. That if. If the first reaction is, I don't know. And that was like his. He and his wife agreed. Like, they shook hands. We'll be luv thief. People will lose their minds. They'll lose their minds trying to guess what you are. You're like a Jeopardy Clue. Man, that was fun. Thank you. Scott Taylor. Man, that was fun. And just in the hallway staring at him in the depression, we all had that thousand yard gaze, too. And half a smile like, ah, he's in a costume and I don't know what it is. And all of it, when I looked at Brady and he's got that, you know, your mom does that thing. Or she's like, what's going on? But she's smiling at the same time. That's what you had. Brady turns into bunny.

[Brett Vesely]

My favorite is his.

[John Holberg]

Come on. Come on. He's getting mad at us. Like, it was just so. It's in the noose. The g. The Investigation's ongoing. Oh, King Jeffrey Epstein, come on. Oh, no candy free, you. Here's another Halloween King of Zamunda. Yeah. Oh, he's. Yes, yes. He's the King of Zamunda. He's Joffrey Joffer. That's who you are. And you've been detained and are doing some civil services and some work on the side of the road to get to work the ticket off. Now it makes. It's King Joffrey Joffer from coming to America after he got a speeding ticket and he's just got to do some community service. Okay. That's better than whatever the hell the Louvre thief is. I haven't. I don't know. I've even seen a picture of any of the thieves. Have you? I've just seen the story. I don't know. I got a clear cut.

[Brady]

I know when he's saying that they pulled up and they had those vests on.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. They were to plan to be workers.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. But then they put ski masks on and then put the crown on and left. I think that's pretty obvious. You're not a worker anyway. Who knows? But here in Phoenix, it's not on people's minds. Anybody who gets it is equally as weird as Scott Taylor must be. Oh, you're a Louvre thief. See, no, she's nuts, too. She's got a spirit box.

[Brady]

You forgot to hide the jewels.

[John Holberg]

Says when you have a dead wife, is her box the spirit box. Yeah. I don't know what you're doing with your dead wife's body.

[Hans Kim]

I don't know.

[John Holberg]

It's not a good question.

[Brady]

Keep that email.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Probably a good idea to keep the name. This one says John, you laugh at spirit boxes, but in 2027, you're going to have one in Brady's chair. So we can keep doing the Brady Report. It might actually be clearer. That could be done. We might have that. And then Scott said, come on, Freddie Mercury is not coming through anything called a box. That's true, too. Yeah. Freddie's gonna be the. The backdoor box.

[Brady]

Spirit sausage.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Yeah, that's it. He'll come out the spirit sauce dog. Another Halloween story I liked a lot. Father to. This is a great one. Daniel Waterman. He died in the hospital after he was in a coma for a while because his girlfriend and he were in a car accident. It was a pretty bad wreck. She was pregnant. Now he goes into a coma and he's in there from, like, I think February until just recently.

[Brady]

Was he huge?

[John Holberg]

No, she was driving and his girlfriend's name was Leah. Yeah, I said there was a terrible crash, but of course the woman was recording. Leah Mumbai Mumbi was her name. Mumby, like Gumby. They were on a highway in Florida and the car swerved in the road, crashed into a tree. And he had extensive injuries, spinal injuries, had trauma to his head, his face. He was. He's 22 years old. Meanwhile, the girl, she was pregnant, survived and has since given birth to their child. He was stabilized and was still in the coma. And then they took him to his hometown in Syracuse, New York, work. And one day, just brief it, briefly gained consciousness. Brett, you were in a car accident and sat out from life for what, three days?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

You were in a three day coma.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, three or four.

[John Holberg]

Because you got bonked pretty good on a car wreck, right? Very similar story. The girl was okay and you were.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I was effed up and you.

[John Holberg]

Were really effed up. So when you came to, did you say anything? Did anybody say, oh my God, you just started going or were you slowly came around. Do you remember waking up from your 3 day coma?

[Brett Vesely]

When I woke up, I. I had like all the tubes and stuff down my throat.

[John Holberg]

Oh, no kidding?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, and they had me like. You were intubated, strapped down, because I guess when they got me to the hospital, I started swinging at people when I came to because I didn't know what was going on.

[John Holberg]

No kidding.

[Brett Vesely]

And then doctor had to strap me down.

[John Holberg]

So yours was induced?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, well, no, I was. I guess I was out. I was out at the accident. And then they. They airvac'd me to Scottsdale because at the time that was the only trauma center. And then I came to in the. In the. Or whatever. And then they strapped me down because I started swinging at everybody.

[Brady]

There's no body.

[John Holberg]

So you weren't in a coma for days?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, they will that part. They did keep me out for.

[John Holberg]

Oh, they kind of induced things. Okay, so they kept you under the whole time, but you didn't wake up, like telling tales? No, no, that's the scariest thing.

[Brady]

And the recall factor is probably minimum. Right?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I remember. I remember feeling like pain in my chest and I grabbed and I reached for my girlfriend at the time to see if she was okay.

[John Holberg]

You reached for the car?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Acted like you were still in the car?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. So you did the. The man hand seatbelt thing from your hospital bed? Yep. So you were. You woke up in the accident?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, yeah, yeah, Well, I was trying to. I was Strapped down. So I was trying to, you know, in my head, that's what I was doing.

[John Holberg]

And then you realized, where am I? What's going on? Holy cow. That's crazy. Well, this dude gets into his coma from February until a month and a half ago and basically wakes up and says they were coming back from a Super bowl party. And he didn't say this part. They were coming back from a Super bowl party. She was pregnant. They got into an argument on the drive back because he got a text from a girl, and they were just talking about the Super Bowl. And it was kind of confirmed later that that was really all it was. She'd been telling stories about how they got in the wreck. She did it intentionally. He wakes up from the coma to tell the story. She's been lying to the whole time, like, this is what happened. She crashed that car on purpose and said in the middle of it, I don't care what happens to us. Us. I'm not going to let you do this. Well, she thought he was, you know, messing around with some girl on the phone. Turns out he wasn't. She nearly kills him. He wakes up from his coma, tells the story that somehow he knew she'd been lying. He heard the whole thing, knew she'd been lying, heard what family was saying about the whole accident and everything else. Gets up from the coma and says, this happened. This is the way it went down. And this is going to make sense. Dies. She's going to jail.

[Brady]

She is.

[John Holberg]

She's going to jail. Because it turns out it's like, wait, the dead guy story makes a ton of sense since she crashed it on purpose. And she kind of came around saying, okay, yeah, that's what happened. Oh, man. How about that? He woke up from his coma, let alone proving that. Yeah, trying to prove. Well, I mean, if he gave. He gave. A couple details are like. That lines up like, her story is okay, but it's not like, why would you lose control? They weren't drunk. Whatever. But she said she's been. Now she's been charged with vehicular homicide, and she was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and reckless driving causing serious injury back in July.

[Brady]

So it's going. They're taking her to court.

[John Holberg]

Oh, she's gonna go, though. They got her. They got locked up. They're in the process of starting a legal battle to establish paternity and get the kid like the parents are. So this whole thing is going crazy. And all it was was dude waking up from his coma before he died to tell the authorities.

[Brady]

That's what I've been hearing.

[John Holberg]

She's been lying the whole time. How about that? That's some Halloween right there. That's cool. Not that he's dead and stuff, but. Yeah. Yeah. So their daughter now will be raised by the parents until it'll become legal later. But the parents are like, this is what you know. We're going to have to teach the daughter what our son was about before. You know, it's got to go through us. He'll never know him, but we can't believe he woke up to tell the truth and then went away. That's cool. Payback, mother. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. And for her to continue to like.

[Brady]

Like.

[John Holberg]

How do you do that?

[Brady]

Two things. Are we really hard to prove that she was skilled enough to do it on purpose.

[John Holberg]

Right. She would have missed the trash. Yeah.

[Brady]

She.

[John Holberg]

Well, I mean women are.

[Brady]

And then surprise it.

[Brett Vesely]

Brady's got a point.

[John Holberg]

Well accidents they're good at purposes being.

[Brady]

Pregnant and oh, you know, that's gonna.

[John Holberg]

Be the lunatic broads. They throw themselves down the stairs to make you the bad and you have.

[Brady]

To have a previous why kind of stories that that would lead to. I mean it's convincing because like you said, the hardest thing will be in the trials. One person is.

[John Holberg]

I think she fest. I think she basically said no, that's. He's right. I think she finally caved. Which is why they're like, all right, we gotcha.

[Brady]

She'd have to.

[John Holberg]

You wouldn't have to have previous anything for that. If it all lines up all right, I did it. Yeah. Well, even beyond that, forensically, if the thing he says like that's been the hole in her story the whole time now we see that makes sense. Like, you know, but she's going to the can for it. I just think it's great that he woke up to tell everybody and then they ended up dying anyway. So he got her twice. He woke up, told the story and when he dies it becomes a homicide investigation. So for it was just vehicular, you know, negligence and reckless driving for.

[Brady]

You're telling me you're talking to the super bowl to another girl?

[John Holberg]

Yeah, on the phone. And she lost her mind. But she's pregnant, she's hormonal. She's probably 20, 21. I didn't see how old she was, but if he's 22, I'm guessing they're about the same age. And she just had never dealt with anything again. It's the generation that had already been on pills for every time they have a bad feeling. So she had to actually face some real adversity, and she couldn't take it. She threw a car into a tree, man. Isn't that crazy? Did you imagine that if you woke up from your thing and you found out the girl that was in the car had been telling everybody you did it on purpose, Trying to get you, like, the worst thing ever. Like, she was mad at you, and then you wake up from your coma, and you're like, she'd been lying the whole time. That would be amazing. And dudes don't come out of comas and just, like, lie. Like, you came out shooting off facts. Like, everything's like, that makes it a complete. That's completely sensible. So the bottom line of the story is never let a woman drive. I think that's pretty much it. They're too emot. Pretty sure that's the message that's being sent here. That dude's a hero. He should have statues and stuff. Coma boy. He wakes up and solves mysteries from his coma. He just said he pretends to be in a coma while the family talks about what really happened. And then he wakes up from the coma and spills the beans. There's, like, a coma boy hurt us. I'm coma boy. That's what Scott Taylor should go as next year's coma boy Boy.

[Brady]

It's topical.

[John Holberg]

You guys were just talking about it a year ago. As soon as he ratted out his ex, he died. Brett's right. Snitching. That's where it gets you, buddy. See, yeah, you snitch, you die. But, yeah, that's crazy. So that's a good one. That's a good story. That's another one.

[Brett Vesely]

Rat dude died anyway, so he might as well have kept his mouth shut.

[John Holberg]

He didn't like the people are mad at him for rat. Naturally, apparently. Well, she was ratting live. He fixed the real rat.

[Brady]

He ruined a good family.

[John Holberg]

John, the real rat was her. She's the one who went in and covered a cow. Can you imagine? I mean, that's like Gary's whore wife. Remember Gary's whore wife going to the hospital with the nerve. With the guy she was boning while Gary was dying of cancer. She went in there to get some papers signed, and she flew to Gary's, you know, brain trauma center.

[Brady]

Her wife's trying to kill you.

[John Holberg]

I mean, we're losing a listener.

[Brady]

You don't break that family up.

[John Holberg]

Yes, you do. You destroy it. She went into that hospital and play pretended the victim the whole time telling stories how sad she was and everything else. Meantime she's. She tried to kill him. She was. She was deep down hoping he'd never wake up because that keeps her in the safe for. Like she was gonna get away with it. It's like he's the meddling kid Scooby Doo's talk. Talking about zoinks like it's the man from the coma school. But he's got stories, right? Sneezed.

[Brady]

And then there's the tree.

[John Holberg]

Then the next thing you know I said I'm a woman. I crashed into a tree. That I believe that's believable. We don't need any more facts. Thank you ma'. Am. Sorry about your loss. Coma Boy is a great costume. Go as Coma Boy tonight. That or Ruby Frankie's kids. That's Scott Taylor's only option. He has lost a ton of weight so I'd be. If he showed up at my doorstep in an old T shirt. Underwear and duct tape were in his legs. I just said you're Ruby Frankie's boy. Anyway. So yeah. Don't let them have the keys. That's essentially what we're saying. Because they will lie after they try to kill you with the car. End of story. And then it was the other thing I had there. I can't remember what went Anyway. What are you do gonna Tonight's night of the singing Dead. We're very excited. Had a rehearsal last night until almost one in the morning and I was out of gas. Out of gas. We weren't allowed to use the facility until like 10 so we were just doing a sound check so we didn't have to do it today. So we just went down there and just ran through the whole thing once and I realized that if I'm not drinking and I'm not having like a grand old time with a bunch of people at 12:30 is my limit on singing. That's it. I'm done. I want to go home. I quit. I hated it. The last 25 minutes were torture.

[Brady]

It sounds like a nightmare to me.

[John Holberg]

Oh it is. Well you being up that late is the nightmare. We were putting it out there too but it was like run throughs and doing this isn't that. And try to figure out what we're going to. It's going to be fun though. We had a. We had a blast. And so tonight hit stage about 9 o'.

[Brady]

Clock.

[John Holberg]

I think there's straggler tickets for a table or two. It's hard to get them online. So it might be worth. If you wanted to really, really go. It's pretty sold out, which is pretty great. So we're, we're. We're definitely proud of that and hopefully we can, you know, find a way to shuttle that money over to something good, like at the end of it. We'll find out what we've got in the end. But yeah, it's pretty awesome. So tonight, nine o', clock, you boys are going to be part of the thing. I got plans for you.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what I hear.

[John Holberg]

They're pretty good too. And Matt Brady's been up there as Marilyn Monroe in the past. When I was John Kennedy, you were the bee flying melon.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holberg]

So tonight, the dead cross dressing this year. Yeah, that's right. You're not going to be. Is this the first time?

[Brady]

I think so.

[John Holberg]

First time in a long time. Because weren't you Harley Quinn one year? Yep, yep. Yeah. Yeah. You always dress as a woman.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the first year. I'm not a guinea.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, you've always come. John Travolta one year. And then Paulie Walnuts.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, and Rocky.

[John Holberg]

And Rocky. Yeah, that's right. You guys are going off script, man. Not a guinea at all. You're Canadian. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Unbelievable.

[John Holberg]

All right.

[Brady]

I wonder if the background. What of the Blues Brothers. Were they.

[John Holberg]

What about it?

[Brady]

Were they Canadian? The film?

[John Holberg]

Well, they were from Chicago. Dan Aykroyd.

[Brady]

Yeah, it could have been.

[John Holberg]

That'll be fun. Yeah, we'll load that up. The Sam and Dave. One of the members of Sam and Dave died this year. So is that this year? Early this year, I think. Yeah. Pretty sure. We don't really pay attention to that sometimes. Like, hey, that's a cool song. Anybody dead in that band? And then we find them and then we do the song.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, the studio drummer that played on the third album.

[John Holberg]

How could we did that one time with. I think it was Cinderella. It's like they had a keyboardist that played there that was. We found it on Wikiped. It was like, oh, there's a guy who died in the band. He was just a touring keyboardist. He wasn't like a member. Like, that's close enough. And we found a picture and we put him on the screen and we moved on.

[Brady]

And now it's going deeper after this year. Roadies, they count.

[John Holberg]

If a roadie drops and he's prominent for like. He was the roadie for like 28 years. If he outlasted original band members. Yeah, we'll do one of those. If, you know, like Guns N Roses has some dead people. We're not doing that this year, but, yeah, it's fun. We're gonna have a good time today, tonight. Can't wait. I got four hours of makeup to do. That's going to be a treat. Four hours, prosthetics, Nice sleep time. I can't. I wish I could, but I can't. Got all those people hands touching you in that cold glue.

[Brett Vesely]

You got to be there for this. So you're going to be at the venue, like 12 hours or something?

[John Holberg]

I want to be. I'll get there pretty early, man. I got a room.

[Brady]

Do you need that much stuff to be a Louvre thief?

[John Holberg]

No, no, I'm not going to know. That was Scott. That's. That costume's taken. Everybody's going to do Louvre thief this year.

[Brett Vesely]

So jealous.

[John Holberg]

I don't want to blend in with the. I mean, that's clearly. That's number one for the year. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Taylor, it's on our socials.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Go check it out and just see how bad this costume actually is. And then, now imagine that there'll be a second one later tonight walking around his Mormon village going, we're thieves. But your skin's so white. No, no, no. We're French thieves. Oh, yes. Louis. Wrong. And Taylor's house. Taylor's gonna end up with, like, his next.

[Brady]

To see if some kids show up.

[John Holberg]

That's Lou for a little. Little Lou for them. Hey, us too. My dad made me do this. Said it was topical.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm changing my costume now. I mean, you're copying that. You know what?

[John Holberg]

You're gonna be one of a hundred. There's gonna be tons of those in there. Everybody. You saw spirit Halloween puts the signs up on the windows. We're out of Louvre thieve costumes.

[Brady]

I've got a list of the top.

[John Holberg]

Costumes, and it's up there. They probably didn't even bother putting it on there because it's so popular.

[Brady]

Adults.

[John Holberg]

It would have been better if he had, like, a bag of jewels for pets.

[Brady]

It is in the top 10.

[John Holberg]

Louver thief. No, to dress your dog.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, the bag of jewels would have been bad.

[John Holberg]

You should do Luigi Mangione.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that's easy.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, but not tonight. Or the other thing. That would be really easy for you. Yeah, just eyebrows. Eyebrows.

[Brett Vesely]

Eyebrows. And I'll run over to MMP before.

[John Holberg]

I bring a real gun. Oh, okay. And there's the shirt that says, screw UnitedHealthcare.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, man.

[John Holberg]

Oh, yeah. All those. The lunatics. Simply.

[Brett Vesely]

Scott, Taylor didn't take that.

[John Holberg]

He should have done that, man. Scott would have been the CEO. No one would have had any idea. What are you doing? I'm a CEO of the health thing. It's big news. Come on. Come on. God, you just look like a guy who's been shot. And I feel terrible that this has happened. My wife's going as Luigi. His wife would probably go as, like, the lead investigator. They wouldn't even dare touch the Luigi part. I'm a trial lawyer. Oh, man, this is worst costume ever. What do you got on the big board of musical treats for Halloween?

[Brett Vesely]

Wake up. Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And we've been talking about it for a while, but we're gonna keep talking about it because next week we're gonna be over at the brand new location on power Road in McTow. So Josh is doing it up, trying to get you guys on the bikes. He's got E bikes, you know, they're. They're trying to. Trying to get everybody on the trail. So he's got E bikes starting at like 1500 bucks and on up to 3,500 bucks demo rides. He's gonna be serving lunch. There is a poker ride as well, so you gotta get there a little bit early for that. But it's all happening at Action Ride Shop. Brand new location right there on power Road and McDowell. We will be there from 11 to 1. And check out all the socials for all the details that seem to keep coming in. So.

[John Holberg]

Okay, cool.

[Brett Vesely]

ActionRight, shop.com.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that's next Saturday. Br. Good Lord.

[Brett Vesely]

So on the list, coffin cats, vampires, curse, suicidal tendencies, aquabats, ministry. Louis Armstrong coming in with a strong suggestion.

[John Holberg]

All right, we're not doing that song. No, he emailed me specifically. Yes, we played it last year. We should play it again. No, we shouldn't. Louis Armstrong did a song for Halloween called Spooks, and Brett and his people think it's hilarious, and it's not. It's a Halloween word that certain people have ruined.

[Brett Vesely]

Michael Jackson, Slayer, Edgar Winner, Rob Zombie, misfits, Spirit box. But it seems like there was tons for typo, as it always is.

[John Holberg]

Wow. Black number one. They're the Halloween band. All right. Might as well just go. We'll go cliche on the Halloween. Nothing wrong with that. At least you recognize it, unlike Taylor's costume. Yeah, it's. It's dopey. I wonder. Yeah, the. I didn't. I. Last year, like 13 or 14 people came dressed up for Halloween, and I didn't know we were doing that.

[Brett Vesely]

Would it have Changed anything.

[John Holberg]

No, I'm not. I'm not getting up earlier to get in costume. I mean, mine would have been worse than Taylor's. You know, Next year I'm coming as Scott Taylor.

[Brady]

Come on.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that'll be it.

[Brady]

I remember Jill Short came as Florence Henderson. Just spot.

[Brett Vesely]

That was good.

[John Holberg]

Oh, that's right. Yeah, she was. She's the Brady mom. All right, Brad. Just Louis Armstrong. The other night, about 12 o', clock, I thought I'd go downstairs just to check the lock when I heard something in the house. I don't mean a mouse. I swear. They was spooks. Spooks? No, because you laugh at it.

[Brady]

Scary song.

[John Holberg]

He was scared of the ghost.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

You've ruined it. It's a great song. Let's do some typo. Negative. It's black number one. Little mascara. It's Halloween song. It's 98.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holberg]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. There's mammoth right there. That's the spell. It is 749. That's right. Brett, get it ready. AI has involved itself. And before we get to the radio report, AI has got itself all prepped up and ready for Halloween. So we'd like. It's about black cats and stuff. Yeah, right. And it's a song called. It's about scary black cats. I'll just let it play itself. AI, Halloween has. It's our first one, right?

[Brett Vesely]

It's by Dorothy Jingle with Harry Bush on.

[John Holberg]

Okay, Dorothy Jingle and Harry Bush, the AI artists have decided to release a awesome Halloween song. Thought we'd share it with you guys. Happy Halloween, everyone. Ghouls and ghosts are out tonight. There's things that howl and things that bite. But the one thing that will haunt you guys. Is what's right here between our thighs. Spooky pussy. Oh, what a sight. Spooky pussy. We'll give you a fright. Better come prepared this Halloween. Cause it's the hairiest pussy you've ever seen.

[Brett Vesely]

Boo.

[John Holberg]

Spooky pussy. It's scary and it's on the proud. And in its grip you'll wail and howl. You'll never forget what you saw. It's a hoo ha boo ha la. Spooky pussy. Oh, what a sight. Spooky pussy will give you a fright. It'll slink down on you nice and slow. But when it latches to your face. It won't let Go Spooky. Oh, there's only one thing you can do. So will you eat it or will it eat you? It's a beautiful thing. Well done. Thank you very much.

[Scott Taylor]

All right.

[John Holberg]

Happy Halloween, everybody. AI joining into the party. And made us giggle. Oh, those black cats. Dangerous. But they're not. And right now is the time of year everybody adopts them and then lets them go. So don't be a dick. Keep that spooky around for its entire life.

[Brady]

Adopt one.

[John Holberg]

Adopt one today. They're the best cats in the world. Hard to adopt black cats. It's very true. It's like a low percentage of them getting adopted. It's because people are weird.

[Brady]

Weird.

[John Holberg]

Spooky. By. What was it? Harry Bush.

[Brady]

And that was Kate someone.

[Brett Vesely]

I lost it.

[John Holberg]

Oh, that's Kate, Mary Bush.

[Brett Vesely]

And somebody jingles.

[Brady]

That's right, Connie Jingles.

[John Holberg]

It's a classic, AI Next year the whole show will be AI no question about it. So embrace it while it's still fun before it tries to kill us. It's time. Same with the Brady Report. It's time for the Brady Report. Support. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] that, my friends, is where you get shade. And you want it. It's 88 degrees on Halloween. You're gonna sit on that patio with all that candy melting. If you got sun all over, you gotta find a good spot for your place on your patio to sit and watch all the ghouls and goblins come up to your door tonight. All pro. Shade can make sure that your space that you want shaded is. It's like having an extra room. It's square footage on your home. They'll put blinds up. They'll cover those windows east, west exposure of that ceiling.

[Brady]

Done.

[John Holberg]

They'll knock that right out. Plus it blocks those UV rays, which are the ones you want to knock out. Easy peasy. Just call them right now. Get online. All pro. Shade.com Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. Happy Halloween.

[John Holberg]

We've made it. Boo.

[Brady]

Happy National Caramel Apple Day. Make sure caramel apples or caramel apparently don't put them in the refrigerator and eat them a month later. Why some people do that? It doesn't protect from bacteria. The apple will.

[John Holberg]

Apple's rot.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

You can't.

[Brady]

Although they storm for years before you hit the shelves.

[John Holberg]

Candy apples are stored for years.

[Brady]

Apples.

[John Holberg]

Apples are stored for years for like.

[Brady]

A year or two.

[John Holberg]

Really? Are you making that up?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holberg]

I'd like some backup on that.

[Brady]

And it's a national knock knock day.

[John Holberg]

Check that out.

[Brett Vesely]

What am I checking out?

[John Holberg]

Knock knock jokes. National knock knock knock knock. Okay.

[Brady]

Who Mike?

[John Holberg]

Mike who?

[Brady]

Mike Latoris.

[John Holberg]

Jesus. What the hell? That's the joke. Just the dudes with a bad name. We need 40 work weeks. It's the 40 work weeks again.

[Brady]

He's Friday.

[John Holberg]

That was your best knock knock joke joke. Mike Lus. I get it. That's not a joke. It's just a guy in the other door telling you who he is. Just an unfortunate name. It's national knock knock joke.

[Brady]

I looked up the 50 dirty knock knock jokes.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. And that's.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the best one you find out of 50.

[John Holberg]

Well, it made me laugh because it's not a joke.

[Brady]

I know Scott would love that one.

[John Holberg]

Oh, Scott would love it. And he's probably going to tell that in his terrible costume tonight. What's the punchline exactly? Just the dude's name. Yeah. Oh, I see. Oh, all right. Mike, I'll be with you in a second.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm going to listen to Izzy.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. That was weird.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts. By the way. Apples stored for 10 to 12 months before.

[John Holberg]

No kidding? Yeah. That's crazy. Why did you know that? Is it something someone told me it.

[Brady]

A couple years ago?

[John Holberg]

It might have been you talking about it here. It might have been me been Brady telling Brady stuff.

[Brady]

Do you talk to yourself like that? Sometimes.

[John Holberg]

By the way, would, would, would Mike Literis be a good costume for Scott to wear around? I think maybe you should go around as that knock knock character on the other side of the door. In Brady's world, he could be Mike.

[Brady]

His wife could be the last name Literis.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, her name was Literis. My name is Michael and it's my wife. Literis. Mike. Bedroom. Gotcha. That's right. I prefer Michael.

[Brady]

A full moon on Halloween is not common. It's not a common occurrence. It only happens every 18 to 19 years. The last one was in 2020. The next one will be in 2039. This year the moon will be about 70% illuminated.

[John Holberg]

This might be the weirdest email I've ever gotten. Funny how you play a dumb AI song, but you won't play Piano man by Billy Joel.

[Hans Kim]

What?

[John Holberg]

Junior What?

[Brady]

Why?

[John Holberg]

There's lots of songs we don't play. Right.

[Brett Vesely]

The listeners need four day work.

[John Holberg]

I can't believe they play that AI spooky song. And I don't get to hear Piano man today. These guys. The headless Knock Knock Junior.

[Brady]

Who's there?

[John Holberg]

Mike. Mike who? Mike. Dick. You can just say Dick. The hell does that mean?

[Brady]

The Headless Horseman isn't actually linked to Halloween. Many people associate Halloween with a legend of Sleepy Hollow. But the original Washington Irving short story doesn't mention Halloween even once.

[John Holberg]

Does any of a pumpkin for a head.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holberg]

Why it's tied together.

[Brady]

It's the 1949 Disney movie the Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad that first made the connection between the two Halloween. In the story Vanna White hasn't actually flipped a letter in almost three decades.

[John Holberg]

Touched them. It's pretty amazing.

[Brady]

They changed it in 1997.

[John Holberg]

This used to actually spin the board forward. This guy says Brady is right about the apples. I owned a logistics company. We hold thousands of loads of apples. Same thing with potatoes. And also bananas are several months old. You'd be surprised how many fruit items are that old. And they put them in a room with gases. Yeah, gases and air free and kind of preserve them unnaturally and then haul them to the store where they've got like a week to live. So essentially your grocery store is hospice for free fruit.

[Brady]

Well but that's wild that they can keep hold the bananas. Because you buy bananas at store. They. You got a week or two. Yeah. Because that's what I'm saying.

[John Holberg]

They're exposed. They got air. The air. They have an air free room.

[Brady]

Did you miss that part?

[John Holberg]

Yeah. We just.

[Brady]

No, I know but I'm just. It just. It's wild that the air they can create that atmosphere that keeps them just.

[John Holberg]

Man, it's air free room of gases. Like they pump it nitrogen I think is what. What counteracts all of it. It's a clean room. It's weird. Can't just take them off the tree and haul them over to somebody. Gotta.

[Brady]

Well you can but it's a limited market.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. It's just weird though to think that. That they're just in some room now for.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Next apple I eat probably won't be. It just now got picked and if I eat one next Halloween happen around Christmas.

[Brady]

This 28 year old guy in Germany is facing charges after he got drunk at a bar, fell out a window, landed in the courtyard of a butcher shop next door, then broke in and started eating some sausages. It happened Wednesday night. Cops showed up after he called from the inside of the butcher shop around 10.45pm he said he was hurt, didn't know where he was. No word on his injuries but the ambulance got him. The hospital doctors checked him out. Manager of the shop said the building had been torn the awning. He fell out of the window of the bar and the door to the shop was damaged. They said he grabbed two sausages from their fridge. It's not clear if they're cooked or not. Police say he may face charges.

[John Holberg]

That's right. Had he cooked them, certainly would have faced charges because it's a waste. This guy says that that Billy Joel guy called Fitz yesterday at 5:00 and asked him for Billy Joel and started to talk about Billy Joel. So he's been on a Billy Joel bender for.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, your people really want to hear some.

[John Holberg]

Why are they my people?

[Brett Vesely]

You know who else wants air? Billy Joel.

[John Holberg]

Everybody loves Billy Joel, but it's not the point. It's just the Jews, I guess. Nobody likes him otherwise you tell them Italians. I think he's one of yours. Oh, are you sure yours is he? Oh yeah, he's Swedish.

[Brady]

You're about that.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

All right.

[John Holberg]

He feels Italian to me.

[Brett Vesely]

Ask is from New York.

[John Holberg]

I know he's got Jewish heritage, but yeah, he's got the whole. Huh. I didn't know you couldn't like him otherwise.

[Brett Vesely]

Ask Gene Simmons.

[John Holberg]

I'll tell you, I do like Billy Joel.

[Brady]

See, a guy in California launched a Kickstarter for a new iPhone case that weighs. Weighs six pounds.

[John Holberg]

That's too much.

[Brady]

The idea is it's so heavy you can't use it very long. Got the idea by strapping his iPhone to a five pound dumbbell to cure his phone addiction.

[John Holberg]

That's smart, except for you're gonna just get super strong. Right?

[Brady]

The one, the dumbbell dumbbell version didn't work because it blocked his camera.

[John Holberg]

And your pockets.

[Brady]

The official version he made is six pounds of stainless steel. If you want to remove it, you have to use an Allen wrench and remove four different screws. Used a 3D printer for the prototype. He's looking to raise $75,000 on the initial run. So far he's got a little over $17,000 and he's only doing it as an iPhone version.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, Samsung people can stay weak and scrawny all they want. We're gonna get huge US blues.

[Brady]

Each case will cost around $210.

[Brett Vesely]

I bet you don't get free shipping on Amazon with that.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, it's not a bad idea, but it would pull your pants down all the time.

[Brady]

That's a chunk of stainless steel.

[John Holberg]

It's really good for women. They get their forearms and their. Their biceps all cranked out. Their fingers are going to be mess massive.

[Brady]

And now it's Time for some science news. Hello my friends. Professor Brady Mogan here with your science news. Study found bats glow green after they're exposed to ultraviolet light. Study came out on Wednesday and found that some spiders build complex decorations too. Well that's good a put decorations. They decorate their webs.

[John Holberg]

Did you finish the bat part of this story?

[Brady]

Yeah. Well the bat, they exposed them to ultraviolet light and they actually glowed green a little bit.

[John Holberg]

I thought you said it.

[Brady]

Also the other part of it was.

[John Holberg]

That was the same study.

[Brady]

They do it all study.

[John Holberg]

These guys got high as a kite, just started screwing around in a really.

[Brady]

Ugly delight at insects and bats. The webs are decorated because it helps sense vibration to find their prey.

[John Holberg]

Is that decoration or is that just structural?

[Brady]

I think it's just putting in like a piece of leaf. A study on psychopaths pinpointed a key difference in how their brains are structured. There's a part of their brain associated with decision making in rewards. In psychopaths it's about 10% bigger that they.

[John Holberg]

When they make a choice.

[Brady]

Rewarding part. Yeah.

[John Holberg]

They get more dopamine.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holberg]

No kidding. So when they do something that might be a little bit risky.

[Brady]

Dopamine bonus.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. So then they do more of it.

[Brady]

Okay. Surgeons in Boston removed the pig kidney from the 67 year old guy who had it transplanted back in January.

[John Holberg]

That was given so much hope. Brady.

[Brady]

271 day run.

[John Holberg]

Which is a new record for pig kidney owners.

[Brady]

Yeah. So they took it out. He's back on dialysis.

[John Holberg]

Go for the record, man.

[Brady]

You didn't have another one on standby? Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Can't keep this up.

[Brady]

I evidently got to wait. Wow.

[John Holberg]

For a pig to die in a car accident.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Till they.

[Brady]

If you're going in to take the one out, just swap it out. You're already in there.

[John Holberg]

Right? That's true.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Why you gotta wait in food News? Okay. I don't have those answers.

[John Holberg]

Think if anybody would have any sort of information it's the dude who's waiting for a kidney.

[Brady]

So far all the ones that have gotten it.

[John Holberg]

The pig kidney.

[Brady]

Yeah. It seemed like that's the longest run.

[John Holberg]

Right. That's why you said that. But 271.

[Brady]

The lady that I saw in the documentary that had it, she had it for like a hundred.

[John Holberg]

But that was not what he was saying. He said let's. Let's. While he's opened up. While we take the. Let's put another one in. Let's just keep recycling them. I don't think you're gonna make something up.

[Brady]

They're not gonna take any chances if.

[John Holberg]

Why?

[Brady]

Because his body started rejecting it, so they're figuring if we put another one in there, it could reject it.

[John Holberg]

What's the difference? It's already rejecting it. If they did that with you, would you be like, take it out and don't put anything else in me, or, let's try and. Another one.

[Brady]

I'd go with a. A human one, then after the pig one.

[John Holberg]

Sure. That's preferred. You'd rather have a human die than a pig? Yeah. Brady would rather have a teen die in a car accident, take that kid's kidney, than this pig. That makes sense to me, too. But if they had an extra pig kidney and you started to reject yours, would you be like, throw that one in there, get another year out of it?

[Brady]

Don't know if he can right away.

[John Holberg]

Maybe you didn't ask.

[Brady]

A study found that most people who think they can tolerate gluten, who can't tolerate gluten, probably can. They're just having a bad reaction to something else in their food. So unless you have celiac disease, gluten may not be the real issue.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, gluten's a weird one to me because I. I know it's hold two thoughts at once because it's going to contradict itself, but they could both be true.

[Scott Taylor]

True.

[John Holberg]

Gluten is definitely something that affects people for sure, but also didn't exist as a problem 20 years ago.

[Brady]

Problem? Yeah. I was gonna say gluten's been around since week.

[John Holberg]

I mean, you had to get diagnosed with something like, there's something in food called gluten. You got to watch it. And it was rare. And now every woman over the age of 30 has a gluten allergy.

[Brady]

Talk to Brett's people.

[John Holberg]

You guys put gluten in all the food?

[Brady]

Oh, it's in everything.

[John Holberg]

Oh, and all their food. Yeah. There's no Italians with gluten in shoes. Nothing good, right? No, you. Would you just tolerate the tummy ache?

[Brady]

What would you do if you had gluten intolerance?

[John Holberg]

I think it does.

[Brett Vesely]

I had somebody that had that when I was trying to make pasta.

[Brady]

Really?

[John Holberg]

They just get. They get it.

[Brady]

They wanted you to make what?

[Brett Vesely]

Tried to make it without plastic pasta? Yeah, it's. We're no longer together.

[Brady]

Let's get out.

[John Holberg]

Oh, it was your ex. You got divorced?

[Brett Vesely]

Yes.

[John Holberg]

What do you mean you don't want gluten? I added extra gluten. This gluten, the burning, means it's working. Yeah, I. I find it to be very real that gluten things exist, but I also find it to be almost psychosomatic that the more you hear about it, the more you think gluten is a problem.

[Brady]

That's a big thing. They also. I saw, I think it was a couple weeks ago. Doctors are recommending introducing the kids, young infants to peanuts earlier in age, which.

[John Holberg]

Stuffing peanuts and babies just to see what happens. Well, it's like Alka cell turning birds.

[Brady]

Turn on the allergy.

[John Holberg]

Maybe Holmberg's morning sickness. I don't like when doctors say, let's see what happens.

[Brady]

Do it.

[John Holberg]

That's your science news. Brady came up with a band name. He didn't even realize it in there. Young infants. As opposed to those elderly infants, those wise old infants that wander around.

[Brady]

Toddlers too late.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that's not an infant anymore. One of them old infants standing on his. Get off my lawn. Wow.

[Brady]

The Ohio State University celebrated Brutus Buckeye 60th birthday this week. Doing that, they broke a world record record. 1923 people showed up.

[John Holberg]

It was girls.

[Brady]

Brutus, Buckeye's birthday party on Wednesday. And they broke the record for most birthday hats in a single event.

[John Holberg]

What's. Wasn't it all girls at some weird girls school? They had like 1300 girls dressed in party hats. 1300 party hats to celebrate Brutus and her in the book 1923, Brutus is only 60. Yeah, it's just the mascot. The Buckeye obviously was a thing before. Was Brutus. Buckeye a thing until the suit? Or does the suit build like when your dad was Brutus?

[Brady]

The original Brutus, I think was a big, you know, like buckeye ball with two legs.

[John Holberg]

But it wasn't called Brutus.

[Brady]

Yeah, I thought they called him Brutus.

[John Holberg]

Well, then it would have been an older mascot because they're celebrating 60 years of Brutus the mask.

[Brady]

Yeah, maybe it was just the Buckeye probably.

[John Holberg]

Oh, the word for 8 o'.

[Brady]

Clock.

[John Holberg]

Sorry, everybody. My bad. Provide. That's the 8 o' clock code word for the app. And you get it in there and take our money because you can take it in the app. Thousand bucks in your hands if you get it. Register right now. Provide is the 8 o' clock word. Sorry, I was. I was late.

[Brady]

This lady in Hopkinsville, Kentucky, was waiting on her medications to arrive in the mail. Mail package shows up. Children's hop up. It's not my medication. It's some fingers and some arms. I said, oh, sorry. We mixed. Mixed up the packages. Those arms and Fingers are supposed to go to the University of Kentucky for studies.

[John Holberg]

Yep, that's right.

[Brady]

Not for consumption.

[John Holberg]

For the lunchroom.

[Brady]

So the county coroner came over there and picked up the package and said, sorry, you're gonna have to wait on your drugs.

[John Holberg]

She didn't get her medicine.

[Brady]

She got.

[John Holberg]

Who got the medicine?

[Brady]

They got it straightened up.

[John Holberg]

But who got her package?

[Brady]

They didn't say.

[John Holberg]

Didn't say. Just could have been the University of Kentucky.

[Brady]

Yeah, they've. She got a Roxy. They've evolved it because it looks like a giant pile of.

[John Holberg]

That looks like the. The doo doo emoji. The old buckeye. Oh, my God. That's just a ball of blackface.

[Brady]

That guy went rogue. He went solo.

[John Holberg]

And there's just the nut. But maybe his name wasn't Brutus back then.

[Brady]

Yeah, it says his name was brutus from. From jump. Well, 1965.

[John Holberg]

That's 60 years.

[Brady]

Yep. Came out for my birthday day.

[John Holberg]

That's right. A racist looking mascot was born the same day as Brady.

[Brady]

Wow.

[John Holberg]

It's the stupidest mascot. If you remember all of Brady's artwork.

[Brady]

Trust me, it's a mean poisonous nut.

[John Holberg]

It's a mean poisonous nut. And if wolverines eat it, they get sick.

[Brady]

I'll die.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. All right, got a couple of news.

[Brady]

Couple of girl fights. This is the first one.

[John Holberg]

We're in the streets of a of Toledo. Mr. Panda is the name is a buffet store that they're fighting outside of. And it is a large African American woman beating the tar out of another large African American woman. And the shirts are coming off. I hope not. Yes, they are. Oh, now we've got a large African American man fighting a large white woman. Or no, she's African American as well. It's four of his pants just fell off. Now there's a fifth large. Incredible. Mr. Panda has got to have a salad section.

[Brady]

Look at the one lady just walking out, catching somebody.

[John Holberg]

This is like Texas Grill when somebody chokes. Pretty normal. Mr. Panda. That sale did not go as well as you'd hoped.

[Brady]

Next chick fights a lot better.

[John Holberg]

Ah, I was wrong about having diversity. I hate it here. Now. I've seen this one. This one is.

[Hans Kim]

That's good.

[John Holberg]

Okay. Oh, there's hot girls.

[Brett Vesely]

Nice.

[John Holberg]

Finally, hot chicks throwing each other around in a low ceiling department and they can barely keep their feet.

[Brady]

Their one move, they grab.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, because they know it'll come off.

[Brady]

She's got a double.

[John Holberg]

Oh, my God, this is so hot. Not one man helping games. Oh, they're punching each other in the face. Oh, My God, just Daisy duke shorts and hair extensions getting thrown all over the hot girl room. This sorority, it's like the room is Lionel Richie's all night long video. They get to a certain point they just all fall down for no reason. Good Christ. Those shorts though.

[Brady]

Good fight.

[John Holberg]

Oh man, that's good stuff.

[Brady]

Not really punching as much as she is tapping with her fist on her.

[John Holberg]

Well, she went right to the hand job move. She doesn't know how to do anything else with her fist.

[Brady]

Yeah, the one that grabs.

[Brett Vesely]

She can get by with that.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, she's good.

[Brett Vesely]

She don't need a degree.

[John Holberg]

She wins that fight.

[Brady]

Next one's got a motorcycle and pretty much.

[John Holberg]

Oh, he just. Oh, he misses the turn and. Oh my God, his whole body just.

[Brady]

That his eyeball dead limp came out.

[John Holberg]

Oh, Jesus. You see an eyeball.

[Brady]

Something came out of him.

[John Holberg]

He died sitting up.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holberg]

How about that? He looks comfortable.

[Brady]

Dead guy standing up yesterday.

[John Holberg]

Oh my God. Yeah, he's done. That's his neck just. He's internally decapitated.

[Brady]

His jaw or something came off.

[John Holberg]

Something fell off of him. Well, it's no wonder sleeping. Last night I went over to grab Pedialyte at the. I love Pedialyte. And I went over to get some at the. Oh no, at the CVS here on 44th street and McDowell. And inside I walk by, there's a candy display of like Reese's Peanut Butter. There's like some weird Halloween. It's really small. As you first walk in to your.

[Brady]

Right, one of those cardboard displays full of stuff.

[John Holberg]

It's. Yeah, but it's got like, it's got like plastic spiders and like a bunch of weird stuff and then like a hairdryer. It's just CVS and it's. So I'm. I go in and I kind of see to my right. Cuz I heard and I'm like. I turned over and I see the security guard standing there with his arms to his side.

[Brady]

It's amazing.

[John Holberg]

And I walked over and grabbed the Pedialyte and I'm like, I got to go take another look at that. I'll put, I'll give the. I gave the video, put it out.

[Brady]

Sleeper.

[John Holberg]

And the dude is security for. Is it a CVS or Walmart or Walgreens?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know, cvs.

[John Holberg]

So I'm, I, I walk by him again and I'm like, I gotta just film this. So at first I just kind of casually walked by my phone upside down just to get. He's gonna wake up. And then I just Spent a few minutes just walking around him while he literally. His pants were falling off.

[Brady]

I thought it was like a spirit Halloween decoration that was gonna jump out at you.

[John Holberg]

And I went over to tell the girl he was guarding, like, the only employee at the CVS. It was like 9:30. And I said. I said, hey, your security guard. And as I looked over, his eyes were up and he's looking around. He just started laughing. He was out for. I was in there for six. He was out there when I walked in and just woke up as I was leaving. I'd already checked out. I did everything, and I'm like, I gotta tell her.

[Brady]

Not propped up on anything either.

[John Holberg]

He was standing. Yeah. Wasn't leaning on anything.

[Brady]

Wake me if you need anything.

[John Holberg]

Snoring. The video I took wasn't very good because I was afraid that he was gonna just erupt into alertness, but he was done. So if there's a CVS you want to rob, I suggest 44th Street McDowell. That dude doesn't wake up. The door dings when you walk in. He does. He had a rough go. And by the way, not to judge a book by its cover. Didn't look fleet of foot either. He didn't look like he was like. You could really probably snatch and grab from that CVS pretty easily.

[Brady]

The last one is another Toledo street food adventure. This is beach squid.

[John Holberg]

Ah. What? An Asian lady with a squid on a beach squeezing.

[Brady]

It's.

[John Holberg]

Is that its eye?

[Brady]

I don't know. What is that?

[John Holberg]

She's reaching into a hole and it looks like a. Oh, she takes a bite out of. Of it. Right out of the water she ate. That thing's high. It's got to still be alive.

[Brett Vesely]

Your videos go too far, Brady.

[John Holberg]

Oh, my. I agree.

[Brady]

Please, this has got to be AI. I don't think it is.

[John Holberg]

It looks like a melted marshmallow in her mouth.

[Brady]

Why do you go there?

[John Holberg]

God, why do you take trips to that question I asked that I was at. Yes, it was. Was it giant?

[Brady]

It's called Toledo Beach.

[John Holberg]

Oh, my Lord. I don't even know what part of the squid that is, but that's its eyeball. She just devours it right out of the ocean. Okay, get it off.

[Brady]

Mukbang video.

[John Holberg]

Oh, my God. Is it over? Good.

[Brady]

Food porn indeed.

[John Holberg]

Oh. All right, Brett, Friday, go.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it sure is.

[John Holberg]

Oh, boy. Happy Halloween, everybody. Here we go.

[Brett Vesely]

Start. We'll start off a little mild, all right?

[John Holberg]

Start here with a black licorice gigantic sex toy going into a woman's. This thing is Two feet long. It looks like a twisted vine of a alien. A ficus tree going in her. She spins, spinning it for her pleasure. She's not fat either. Wow. That noise is repulsive.

[Brett Vesely]

Sound is what?

[John Holberg]

Shelves.

[Brady]

Wow.

[John Holberg]

All right. How long does she do this? Two more minutes.

[Brady]

That's.

[John Holberg]

She's spinning that thing around like she's drilling down for water. Oh, wow. That's enough.

[Brady]

Wow.

[John Holberg]

That's her butt. All right, that's one good kickoff. Happy Halloween. To get again.

[Brady]

All right, well, we know what's coming here.

[John Holberg]

All right, there's a pan on a hot plate.

[Brady]

Is it the omelet?

[John Holberg]

It could be the omelette. I've seen something similar. So he's waiting for the pan to heat up.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, you read the beginning of it.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, yeah. There's a naked, fat, naked lady with a yogurt cup full of a man's junk. And she's stirring it up, taking a little nibble. She's taking a little nibble. She's eating it with a fork. She's stirring it. She's whisking it. She's whisking the eggs. Is that a Snickers underneath for later?

[Brady]

I don't think there's eggs in there.

[John Holberg]

She is so fat and so gross. She'll eat anything. She's like the Mikey of porn. She's pouring it in. No, no butter. It's gonna stick.

[Brady]

No, it's just straight up.

[John Holberg]

She's gonna wreck that pan when she cleans it. Oh, she's got her little wooden spatula.

[Brady]

She's.

[John Holberg]

The seed is bubbly. Oh, you know, it made less than you thought. It's nice. It's a crispy, golden brown.

[Brett Vesely]

Brown.

[John Holberg]

She still. She likes it. She likes her eggs over hard. Oh, it's now on her plate. And now the fat lady is blowing the heat off of the seed eggs that. Oh, she takes a little bite. How's it taste?

[Brady]

Hot omelet. York let herself eat.

[John Holberg]

She does look like New York. She's eating worse. Oh, my Lord.

[Brady]

Chewing.

[John Holberg]

This is what you eat at Mr. Panda, by the way. That's why the fight. Oh, my God. That's it. She just devours.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

She made a seed omelette.

[John Holberg]

Cooked, eg. Okay, that was gross, too.

[Brett Vesely]

We were sent out. Since it is Halloween, here's some horror porn for you.

[John Holberg]

Okay. We're in a crazy basement. Looks like some sort of serial killer's basement. Two people enjoying each other's company.

[Brady]

Couch or the floor.

[John Holberg]

Two people very much in love. They're in a dungeon of Some sort. Oh, she turns around into some sort of. Oh, she's an AI Zombie. It cuts to Evil Dead. Evil Dead, Yeah. All right, that's a good cut. Oh, now she's, like, pretending to be a zombie and she's. The ring. Oh, my God. Did he just have sex with that thing? Oh, she's going back in. Wow, they're really into the costumes. Her eyeballs are in. Incredible. All right. I don't know what I'm looking at. Spooky. But it's making me kind of excited. All right, that was weird Halloween porn. All right, guy landing up. Use a variety of different techniques to.

[Brady]

Spread their seeds as far as possible.

[John Holberg]

This won't be good.

[Brady]

One of the most remarkable is this one.

[John Holberg]

It's called Ecbalium and it's a relative. He's pointing to cabbage or cucumbers. Cucumber. For several weeks now there's a guy putting a finger in someone's body up inside the pods. Until now, they're as taught as a. Well, guy putting his finger in a girl's butt. While Sir Richard Attenborough, or David, whatever he is, starts to talk about it. He nudges the cucumber. Fascinating. Attenborough starts laughing. That's clever editing. Was that on BBC? I'm pretty sure, yeah.

[Brady]

I would say best one.

[John Holberg]

That was pretty excellent work. Something shot out of that girl's butt about two feet. And then Attenborough left. All right, she's. This is a naked lady who's throwing up and sitting on a. What is that? What is wrong with this? This is K pop, right? This is.

[Brett Vesely]

I think so.

[John Holberg]

She's sitting on something and it's creating some sort of a gigantic puking out all of this frosting. Then she. She's making her lady. She's making her lady bits. Breathe.

[Brady]

Jesus. What the hell?

[John Holberg]

It was like a £90 Asian girl who had a Sarlacc pit. Crotch pit. Oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know if I can.

[John Holberg]

That thing can find trash ruffles.

[Brett Vesely]

So we'll just end with this.

[John Holberg]

Oh, it's Scott Taylor. Somebody in a ski mask. This is what Scott is for. Hell, she's gagging herself till she throws up what looks like cream corn into a. Oh, somebody's gonna eat that. Oh, this is gonna get worse. Oh, what's going on over in those Asian countries? Okay, she's revealing her nose a little. Oh, now she's farmer's blowing into the puke bucket. There's a farmer's blow done yet? Into the puke bucket by Scott Taylor's costume. And now she's pulling her pants down. Now she's pulling her pants down. I think she's gonna probably pee in the puke bucket as well. All the bodily fluids available are going into this pitcher. She's now peeing. There's that. All right, all right, we get it. You enjoy peeing a lot.

[Brady]

Smoothie queen.

[John Holberg]

She's shaking it up.

[Hans Kim]

All right.

[John Holberg]

It's a good mix. Oh, no, Brett.

[Hans Kim]

No.

[John Holberg]

It's puke. It's not. And it's the lady, and it's all going out of her. This is.

[Brett Vesely]

This is only part one. Here's part two.

[John Holberg]

Do we play what happens next? Or is she all by herself? No, got one other right. Oh, she's going to poop in it, isn't she? She shook it up. It's about 5 to 6 ounces of vomit and snot. I'm not.

[Brady]

I'm not believing this.

[John Holberg]

Okay, now she's got the picture top open. Her mouth's getting too close to that picture top not to do what I think's going to happen next. She's about to ingest everything. Oh, she's going to pour it in another guy's mouth.

[Brady]

Share with a friend.

[John Holberg]

Oh, she's pouring it into a guy's mouth. Oh, God. Oh, crap. I can't watch.

[Brady]

I can't watch.

[John Holberg]

There's more. Enough. God damn it.

[Scott Taylor]

No.

[Brady]

Wait a minute.

[John Holberg]

You're missing it. Oh, she's wiping it off the guy's face and putting it back in. Almost like noodles. Where did the noodles come from? This is the worst episode of Squid Games I've ever seen.

[Brady]

Oh, there you go.

[John Holberg]

Oh, she's feeding it all. I can't. Come on, man. There's like seven seconds left. Oh, all right. Happy Halloween, everybody. I think I pulled something. I think the show's canceled. Delete. Oh, my God.

[Brady]

God.

[Brett Vesely]

They walk amongst us, too.

[John Holberg]

Asians.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, them too.

[John Holberg]

Wow. Provide. Provide is the eight o' clock word for the promo code. My sweet Lord.

[Brady]

That was the toughest one.

[John Holberg]

That was a rough one. It's a rough one. Good for Halloween, though. We created this.

[Brady]

George Harrison needs to be brought into it.

[John Holberg]

Huh?

[Brady]

My sweet Lord.

[John Holberg]

Sweet Lord.

[Brett Vesely]

That's because he just watched that video.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Day 24. Yeah. I gotta go. PD, light up. Refresh this.

[Brady]

Hans Kim.

[John Holberg]

Hans Kim's gonna join us a little bit. We'll talk to him. He's doing Halloween up there. It's Desert Ridge, right? Or at the Ridge Improv. He'll be there. You can go see him and then pop over to. No, you can't because it's sold out. But we'll be the ones you hear outside of the improv starting about nine. Hans Kim. We're gonna be in here in just a little bit and we'll show him that video and we'll see. See what? He thinks it's 98.

[Brady]

Hey. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.

[John Holberg]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. All right, here we go, everybody. Look at this. We just were the classiest operation in all of America. America. I would say probably. Hans Kim is here. He's at the Desert Ridge Improv tonight and tomorrow. One show tonight and I'm kind of responsible for wrecking that. And then Saturday you've got two shows because I have a band show next door. I'm the one that made it so you don't have to do a late show.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah. Thank you.

[John Holberg]

You're welcome.

[Hans Kim]

Halloween.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Friday late show. Nightmare Drunk Pikachu heckling you.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holberg]

Wait a minute now. I want to cancel my show. I have an idea.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

I want to do something else. Yeah, that's. Yeah. Halloween shows. Probably. I never thought of that.

[Hans Kim]

Or probably it's not really a stand up holiday.

[John Holberg]

No. No, it isn't. It's kind of more of a great.

[Hans Kim]

For children and family and then the.

[John Holberg]

People who do leave hate Halloween.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah. Why would you dress up and go sit in a dark room where you're not supposed to talk to anyone?

[John Holberg]

Because you're a psychopath. Yeah. And I would like to see that too. Your show is going to be great tonight.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

That's going to be awesome. Hans Kim, if you want to go Desert Ridge Improv Doc. Yeah. We were just talking off there. You live over in Austin. Is that where you stand now?

[Hans Kim]

Yes.

[John Holberg]

And all of comedy has moved to Texas.

[Hans Kim]

Yes.

[John Holberg]

Isn't it amazing now?

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Did you think that when you started, like, I'm going to end up in the heart of Texas.

[Hans Kim]

No, I. I refused to move to Texas. I just was like, why would you move there? You're going to get shot.

[Brett Vesely]

Really?

[Hans Kim]

It just seems like unnecessary.

[Brady]

Wild west.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah. Now I'm there. It's great.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

I don't want anyone to know about it.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. That's kind of how I feel about here. They won't shut up.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah. They're telling everyone about it.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. They. And they stopped touring. So now everybody has to go to. Yeah. It's the worst. So, yeah, they've made Austin kind of a thing where it's going to turn into a bunch of buttholes eventually. Just hanging around, wrecking what used to be kind of neat. Yeah, that's what I feel about Phoenix. Every time we're on tv, I encourage all of the residents to, like, do La Cockaroo horns that and, like, just have ice running around like, we're just a madhouse.

[Brady]

Nothing safe.

[John Holberg]

So all those people from Buffalo don't move here. We don't want that Philadelphia and Buffalo moving in. Where are you from?

[Hans Kim]

I'm from Seattle.

[John Holberg]

Oh, okay.

[Hans Kim]

So that's like. We consider you guys neighbors because we have no one else. And our Mariners play down here, the Peoria, for the spring.

[Brady]

Spring training.

[John Holberg]

Do you ever come down for that?

[Hans Kim]

Never. No.

[John Holberg]

You need to schedule. Schedule shows.

[Hans Kim]

Is it fun? You get to meet the play. It's better than going to an MLB game.

[John Holberg]

You get to play. They'll just put you on the field. If you show up, you're a Mariner for a day. Anybody gets a ball, you catch a ball, you're in. It's awesome. It's like Savannah bananas. Everybody's a player. I don't know if this is a.

[Hans Kim]

Dragon into Phoenix prank, you guys.

[John Holberg]

It is. You should come out. We'll get you out on the field. Everyone will love it. No, it's spring training is amazing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

If you're a Mariners fan, you must go.

[Brady]

It's like Fan Fest.

[John Holberg]

But I wouldn't go to their. Their stadium. There's, like, nine other ones. You go see the other teams, watch the Mariners on the road, because technically, on the road's 35ft, so. Yeah, it's good. Have you been a Mariners fan your whole life or just this year?

[Hans Kim]

Did you jump on this year? Are they good this year?

[John Holberg]

See, you're not a fan. They almost went to the World Series.

[Hans Kim]

Oh, yeah. They lost the last thing.

[John Holberg]

You can't. Spoken like.

[Brady]

He's an Austin wrestler.

[John Holberg]

He knows baseball, though. They lost the last thing. Like. Yep, that's exactly what it says in the record book.

[Hans Kim]

The playoffs. Everyone who isn't in the World Series lost the last thing.

[Brady]

They were so mad. If we would have won that one thing.

[John Holberg]

Baseball. Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

Baseball historians boils down to.

[John Holberg]

That's what I remember Vince Gully used to do. Like. And then the Yankees lost the last day. I'll be right back. Hans Kim is at Desert Ridge Improv tonight. Tell us about you. What is it? What should we know about Hans Kim? Kim?

[Hans Kim]

I'M Asian?

[John Holberg]

No. Just in case it's the radio. I don't see color or anything else or here. I can't. I can't. Not at all. Is being Asian difficult in comedy?

[Hans Kim]

I mean, there's not a lot of us.

[John Holberg]

It's just Bobby Lee and Bo's still in the mix.

[Hans Kim]

I mean, she was when I was coming up.

[John Holberg]

She's a legend.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, she was in Atlanta. She was, like, the big, you know, Korean. She was, like, artsy and respected artistically, so that was cool for Koreans. Oh, we can be clowns.

[John Holberg]

You guys were worried that you couldn't be until she. We want to be, but not sure people are accepted.

[Brady]

Just anger is the only expression. No comedy. Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Were you growing up? Were you like, somebody's like, I want to be a comedian. Me?

[Hans Kim]

No. That was like moving to Texas for me. I was like, why would anyone do that?

[John Holberg]

What did you want to do?

[Hans Kim]

Just, like, be rich?

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

I was a kid. I didn't know anything.

[John Holberg]

You didn't know anything. You just thought, eventually, why don't we listen to the.

[Brady]

What was the point? Plan?

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Becoming rich.

[Hans Kim]

I don't know. I think because I was Asian and I was, like, good at math, I was like, maybe I could math. What? My way into money.

[Brett Vesely]

Math.

[Brady]

Some money.

[John Holberg]

You're Asian. Who's good at math?

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

You're just lying to us.

[Hans Kim]

I know you don't see race, but.

[John Holberg]

I do see math.

[Hans Kim]

You should.

[John Holberg]

So you thought you'd be good at math? You thought, I'll be. I'll be an Asian mathematician. Yeah. Just a mathematician. Oh, no kidding?

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Okay.

[Hans Kim]

That's super Asian.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. That's exceptional Asian.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So I can only imagine what they thought when you, like, go into comedy.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

Well, that's the thing is, like, before I told them I was into comedy, I was heavily into marijuana use, which is legal now.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

Ten years ago, it was, like, you know, the same as cocaine.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

So then they found, like, marijuana in my possession, and then they were like, oh, thank God that you're not doing marijuana. You're just doing comedy. Is that the double whammy, then?

[John Holberg]

Do you still smoke?

[Hans Kim]

Yes. You like it Last night? Yeah.

[John Holberg]

You just love it. Big fan. What is it about that for you? Because I've tried to be someone who loves it, and I just don't. And everyone gives advice, and I'm not trying. I was horrible at. I got paranoid. I wanted to kill things. I was. I got, like, mean. Not, like, outwardly mean, but internally mean. Like, I literally have a diabetic cat. And I had to give the diabetic cat a shot. And I couldn't when I had 50 milligrams of gummies in me because I thought I was going to stab it. My body was just like. Just hit it, hit it with a needle. And I'm like, what's wrong with you?

[Hans Kim]

Violence.

[John Holberg]

I had a violent. Yeah, I had violent weed rage. No. I even looked it up. And also the other thing that would happen to me, the minute I knew I was high, it felt like my thumb switched hands. That is a real thing. So I try to text them, like, nope, these are on the wrong hands.

[Hans Kim]

I don't know if you're doing marijuana.

[John Holberg]

I think that's PCP maybe. I don't know. Bad weed, man. I don't know what was going on, but it was very strange. I wanted to throw my boss out a window because he made me smoke out of a bong.

[Brady]

And he did.

[John Holberg]

And I thought about it. I'm like, he's trying to kill you. My brain just kept saying, he's trying to kill you. That's what's happening. You need to get rid of him. Like, I don't think this is good for me. So what do you do that could convince me that I'm doing it wrong?

[Hans Kim]

I would recommend not. I don't want to smoke around you.

[Brady]

You're making a good choice.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, I think that's it. Should I try something else? Other drugs?

[Hans Kim]

Drugs are a hell. Heck of a thing.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Are you, like, what drug? Ayahuasca. You ever do that?

[Hans Kim]

No.

[John Holberg]

You want to?

[Hans Kim]

I would. Yeah.

[John Holberg]

I'll meet you at 4.

[Hans Kim]

You guys have ayahuasca prescription?

[John Holberg]

No. I would love to try something. I'm just afraid of all of it, and my reactions have never been positive.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, I don't.

[John Holberg]

I think I noticed that's pretty popular.

[Brady]

In the comedy world.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. The acid mushrooms.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holberg]

Being scared. Have you ever done, like, mushrooms and stuff?

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, of course.

[John Holberg]

And you like that?

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, Yeah. I think it's what I like about drugs is that if I'm feeling. If my brain is in a certain mode and a mood, I can just change it. So, like, I. I love being able to, like, have control over what my brain is like, you know, like, if it's in a funk, I can just.

[John Holberg]

You can turn it off.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

So it's like a light.

[Brady]

Turn it off.

[John Holberg]

Turn it a different direction. Yeah, you can steep. Yeah, yeah. And when, like. Is it when you're depressed or you're, like, just overly stressed or something or you just can kind of bail out. I can't have that. Yeah, they make me worse.

[Hans Kim]

Oh, it makes the stress.

[John Holberg]

It causes incredible amounts of stress. Like I can't move. I don't like not having my thumbs on the right hand.

[Brady]

It made me hungry the one time.

[John Holberg]

That wasn't the drug. He's still high, evidently.

[Brady]

Been high for years.

[John Holberg]

Do you have a lady friend?

[Hans Kim]

Yes, I live with my girlfriend now. She's in California for Halloween.

[John Holberg]

Oh.

[Hans Kim]

I think it's not a great place cuz everyone's dressed up there all year round.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, you don't know when it's Halloween. Yeah. What is she. Is she going to go out? Is she going out for Halloween?

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, she's going to Disneyland right now and then she's going on a cruise tomorrow. She's a cruise person.

[John Holberg]

Like she's a cruise person or works for the cruise people.

[Hans Kim]

Oh, no.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, she likes cruising. You're dating an 80 year old woman. Congratulations. Florida.

[Hans Kim]

She's Jewish.

[Brady]

She's on a Viking cruise a month from now.

[John Holberg]

She just. She just. How did you meet a cruise person? Are you a cruise person?

[Hans Kim]

No, I've never been.

[John Holberg]

You've never been? And she goes alone?

[Hans Kim]

She goes with her mom.

[John Holberg]

Have you met her yet?

[Brady]

This is all online?

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, she's online. Yeah, she's virtual.

[John Holberg]

The manti ta girlfriend is back, so. Yeah, that's not bad. Well, you have an AI and I.

[Brady]

Send her money for the cruises. It's working out good.

[John Holberg]

I would like. The AI girls are coming. Well, that sounded dirty, but you know what I mean. The AI girls, they'll be here soon. I should. We saw one. Yeah, I think we just walked.

[Brady]

Watch that.

[John Holberg]

But is that something that you're worried about AI? Because it's friendly to us now. I'm looking at AI right now as like a drug dealer. Like everything's fun and they're doing funny songs and wacky videos and then pretty.

[Hans Kim]

Soon, I mean, real girls are pretty mean.

[John Holberg]

That's true. It's a good point, I think.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

I mean, AI is better.

[Hans Kim]

Is what you say, more girls, the better.

[John Holberg]

I say real or fake.

[Hans Kim]

Real girl.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Would you ever own a doll if it had like an emotionless AI doll? If they brought those to life?

[Hans Kim]

I mean, I don't even have a Fleshlight now. I don't think I'd be an early adopter.

[John Holberg]

I think I'm in line for it. I think it would be kind of fun to just have that in the closet as a.

[Hans Kim]

You could press A button and it just like compacts and then you could have it, you know, because the thing that would annoy me.

[Brady]

Storage.

[John Holberg]

Storage space. Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

I live in an 800 square foot apartment. Right.

[John Holberg]

You can't have some clogged, some human body clogging that up. You learned that the hard way. Yeah. The fun thing is I've always thought of like, it has to be self cleaning because there's nothing worse than banging your doll and then like taking it out back with a garden hose.

[Brady]

Filthy.

[John Holberg]

You stuffing it in there while the neighbors are watching.

[Brady]

And that looks good to the neighbors.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. You can't.

[Hans Kim]

Responsible doll owner.

[John Holberg]

Well, you don't want to go back in there a couple days later if you haven't mopped up. Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

It's green and black.

[John Holberg]

I don't know about that.

[Brady]

The mold.

[John Holberg]

Oh, I get what he's saying.

[Hans Kim]

That's when you have to do what that girl did on the video and just stretch it out.

[John Holberg]

Just start opening it up and seeing what falls out. Yeah. Would you date a girl that could do that? Butterfly effect. I mean, maybe.

[Hans Kim]

I think all girls can do.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

I think they just choose not to because no one wants to look at their genitals in that way.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. They like to think about it as a pretty magic.

[Hans Kim]

Right?

[John Holberg]

Yeah. And some of them aren't pretty. And I think. Do you think girls know. Do you think you have pretty genitals? I mean, no one's asking.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, mine are too, like big or small, but they're not like crazy. Unless you're like Harvey Weinstein and he.

[John Holberg]

Has a weird one.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, it was apparently like rotting off.

[John Holberg]

Oh, my God. Tell me the story. How do you know. How do you know this?

[Hans Kim]

I thought it was common knowledge.

[John Holberg]

Nope. You're breaking the news.

[Hans Kim]

He had like, gangrene. Gangrenous growths on his penis.

[John Holberg]

How?

[Hans Kim]

Diabetes, I guess. Yeah, he's like an old, out of shape man.

[John Holberg]

That happens.

[Hans Kim]

I guess maybe he like injected a pump into it. I'm not sure.

[John Holberg]

I'm.

[Hans Kim]

I'm just like speculating.

[John Holberg]

You're gonna get sued.

[Hans Kim]

I. The good name of Harvey Weinstein.

[John Holberg]

Look out. He's very litigious. He's in court all the time right now. You're going to make people go, oh, poor Harvey Weinstein. It's coming off. I didn't notice. I didn't know that.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, it was bad.

[John Holberg]

No kidding.

[Hans Kim]

Didn't have a penis.

[John Holberg]

Stop it. Yeah, I knew that. They said that it was weird in the, in the, in the court transcripts. They're like he had a strange pain. I didn't hear gangreness or, you know.

[Brady]

Kept those details out.

[John Holberg]

Chipping.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah. The lesson. Power.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. At what point do you see a doctor. Doctor for that?

[Brady]

Well, obviously he went to. It's too late.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. I think I'd hide it for a while. I don't think. I think I'd wait for it to fix itself. And then probably like, oh, this is going fast.

[Brady]

We keep this out of the trial.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Wow.

[Brady]

Or he could have the argument, how could I do this with this thing?

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that's true. Maybe he made it worse on purpose to go, you think I'm showing up? Come on. I'm not a sex monster.

[Hans Kim]

It's like trying to get rid of the weapon of the crime.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Have you ever had a std?

[Hans Kim]

No.

[John Holberg]

No. What's the closest you've ever come to having aids?

[Hans Kim]

I think I, I, I. One time I. I did a wipe after sex, and then it just sort of like.

[John Holberg]

Oh, God.

[Hans Kim]

Kind of like became white. But then I wiped it off.

[John Holberg]

What? You. Wait a second.

[Hans Kim]

I had a little.

[Brett Vesely]

Extra.

[John Holberg]

Oh, God. You had a little thing on there and you wiped it off and it popped.

[Brady]

Yeah. And in my mind, it went away.

[John Holberg]

Wait, it popped and you're like, that's gone. And if it doesn't come back. I don't need to talk to anyone about this. Kill them on the radio.

[Hans Kim]

It was just, like, unhygienic. Oh, it wasn't like an st. You had a pimple? Yeah, pretty much. It was like a ingrown cyst. Like on the bathtub when you. You don't wipe it.

[Brady]

The ring.

[John Holberg]

You had a ring around your will. Don't laugh at that. I didn't laugh. Great shame.

[Hans Kim]

Years old.

[John Holberg]

How old?

[Scott Taylor]

22.

[John Holberg]

And you didn't know?

[Hans Kim]

No.

[John Holberg]

You weren't supposed to have dirt on it.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, I was like.

[Brady]

It had to be. Lack of cleaning.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Scott Taylor]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Well, that's what he's saying. Yeah. And then you popped it.

[Hans Kim]

A little fermentation.

[John Holberg]

You just wiped the. Was it probably painful?

[Hans Kim]

No, no, it was just like a scum. It's like scrubbing bubbles, vaginal fluid.

[John Holberg]

Oh, jeez Louise. It was post everything. So you just wandered around with that on there for like a trophy, just fermenting? Yeah. Just letting it soak in.

[Hans Kim]

Having some probiotic.

[John Holberg]

That's gross. What do you do for Halloween normally when you're not doing shows? Are you a big Halloween guy?

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, last year I got pretty wasted on 6th street in Austin.

[John Holberg]

Nice.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah. Just dressed up as Napoleon.

[John Holberg]

Cool.

[Hans Kim]

Around Asian Napoleon.

[John Holberg]

That's confusing to everybody.

[Hans Kim]

Scum on his dick.

[John Holberg]

The greatest band name I've ever heard in my life.

[Brady]

It's a match.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holberg]

And then so you got. So you were Napoleon last year. Did you go by yourself or who was with you?

[Hans Kim]

My girlfriend was some sort of red devil.

[John Holberg]

Okay. Yeah. You didn't even ask. Yeah, yeah, she just. She showed up. That was enough.

[Hans Kim]

Halo or Spikes?

[John Holberg]

Oh, she had the horns coming out of her head.

[Hans Kim]

She was Satan.

[John Holberg]

That's it. And then you guys just ran amok in Austin.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, we just ran around.

[John Holberg]

What's your favorite Halloween as a kid? Do you remember? Did you have a weird one? Every kid's got like one that we're like. This was a. I just gotta wait till next year and regroup.

[Hans Kim]

We grew up super Christian in our Korean household and we thought Halloween was.

[John Holberg]

Like, you know, you don't practice the Devil's Day.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, the Hogwarts, you know, we thought Harry Potter was bad too.

[John Holberg]

Harry Potter was out. You weren't.

[Brady]

Yeah, I just able to see those movies growing up.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, the books. I was. I was a little before the movie.

[John Holberg]

Really? So you, you read the books like Playboy? Like they were porn. Yeah. You had to hide from your parents. What would they have done had they known you were a Harry Potter guy?

[Hans Kim]

They would have just been disappointed.

[John Holberg]

Oh, that's it. Oh, that's worse.

[Hans Kim]

It's the Asian guilt.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that's actually worse.

[Brady]

How did the. How did the characters turn out after? You know, you read the books first, then all of a sudden you see a movie finally.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Did they match up with the description? Like Hermione?

[Hans Kim]

I mean, it's been so long now, I don't even remember what.

[John Holberg]

It's all the weed. So your parents didn't let you have trick or treat?

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, so we had this church retreat thing that we did. So we got all. I was like older. I was like 15.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

So I was in charge of like the kids and we had like different activities that were in devil related. And one of them was a man maze where we blindfolded children and they would crawl around in a maze. And there were like seven children and I lost track of one and then I just see her like crawling off into the corner of the room. It's. It's just she bumped into a wall and I. That was one of the funniest things.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that was it. So it was just kind of allowing kids to crawl around blindfolded. Like Jared's house. That's better.

[Brady]

Festival.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. That's weird. And then it just ends.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah. There was no.

[John Holberg]

There's no payoff. No candy. Everybody takes their blindfolds off and goes to bed. Yeah.

[Hans Kim]

It's an Asian church.

[John Holberg]

It was. Was it an Asian Christian church?

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

So was that traditional or. Well, I'm not. I didn't say that. I was thinking it, but I didn't say that.

[Hans Kim]

We use half the blindfolds the white church would use.

[John Holberg]

Why do you got to do that? You're gonna lose him. That's. He can't take those kind of jokes.

[Hans Kim]

I know you guys are gonna say this when I leave.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holberg]

Oh, we're gonna. Well, not necessarily on the air. We're gonna say a lot of bad stuff, but. Oh, you're gonna take a beating. But still. No, that's hilarious. But I didn't. I don't know that that's. And then just. Okay, put your blindfolds on and crawl. And then. And then that's it.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

That's Halloween to you.

[Hans Kim]

That's your apple bomb. Yeah. It was a very church controlled activity. So we don't.

[Brady]

Did all of the stuff like that would happen at a Halloween party without acknowledging the Halloween.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah. Candy. Why is candy the devil?

[John Holberg]

Yeah, it sounds great. Because he's a temptress. Sugar tempter.

[Hans Kim]

Shouldn't the puppies also be the devil?

[John Holberg]

It's an excellent point. Our puppy satanic is a great. That's a great. We should do a thesis wondering whether or not that's a religious gift from the devil. Are you still a religious person?

[Hans Kim]

No, not at all. Gone.

[John Holberg]

You left it completely.

[Hans Kim]

I'm not even Korean anymore.

[John Holberg]

Is that right? You didn't believe in that either.

[Hans Kim]

I transitioned to Chinese.

[John Holberg]

Is there a. I don't know. This. This is going to sound stupid. Is there a difference? Like to say in Korean. Everybody's Korean from Korea. But north and south is just the dividing line. Is it important to note south to people?

[Hans Kim]

I mean, not to Koreans. I'll just assume. And if you are North Korean, you hide it.

[John Holberg]

You don't say. So that's kind of what I was getting at. If you. If you escape North Korea. Yeah, yeah. You went. Yeah, it's like a Bostonian Korea. If you went to Seattle and you're like, yeah, we're from Korea too. Like, oh, yeah. What part? Near the middle. The middle. Way down by the southern. What's the city in? The bottom. We're next to that.

[Brady]

I'm in the keys.

[John Holberg]

Because I don't know that you'd meet. I don't know anybody. Korea. Keys. The keys. Oh, my God. The sailing. It's amazing. Have you ever been. Do you ever go back?

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, I've been there like 14 years.

[John Holberg]

No kidding. You like it?

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, I love it.

[John Holberg]

I hear it's gorgeous. I hear Soul's an amazing place.

[Hans Kim]

It's. It's like, you know, someone actually built the streets on purpose.

[John Holberg]

It's not, like, functional.

[Brady]

The design is.

[John Holberg]

Wait a minute. What? It's really clean. There are no homeless people in Seoul.

[Hans Kim]

There's like seven.

[John Holberg]

No kidding. That's a good number.

[Brady]

And they have permits.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, and houses. So they're fine.

[Hans Kim]

They all do their homework on the streets.

[John Holberg]

That's. I want to go. That's one I want to go to. I don't want to go to, like, Tokyo or anything in other Asian countries because they're too, too crowded. And I know Soul's big, but it seems kind of like almost an American blueprint.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, they. They took the American idea of fun.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, they are.

[Brady]

Damn.

[Hans Kim]

The Japanese did not.

[John Holberg]

No, they're very serious, Wildly serious people. And don't even start on China. We don't know what they're up to. But it ain't fun, that's for sure. That's awesome. Hans Kim is at Desert Ridge Improv tonight and tomorrow, if you want to go down there. Desert Ridge improv.com Hans, fix the world. If you were in charge of it one day, right away, we'll. Would you do first?

[Hans Kim]

I would, you know, make everyone smoke weed.

[John Holberg]

Everyone except me.

[Hans Kim]

Crop dust.

[John Holberg]

Not necessarily a good idea. And crop dust, people.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[Brady]

If you're not.

[John Holberg]

We're going to crop dust. You would just smoke weed and fart on strangers.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Or real crop dust.

[Hans Kim]

No. Yeah, real crop dust.

[John Holberg]

Like from the plane. Not like just walking around a mall and knocking kids down.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Not like what you do. No. I didn't know if that was. Because when you're high, you're not flying crop dusters. Not a good idea.

[Hans Kim]

Yeah, you're gonna have to wear a gas mask.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, for sure. Hans Kim. Thank you. It's nice to meet you.

[Hans Kim]

Thank you so much for having me.

[John Holberg]

Hans Kim, everybody. It's 98.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holberg]

I have heard enough of this. Up Homberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Tripp is in here because he looked at Brad as a commoner, blue collar type, and he's making him do Blue collar work. Do you want us to ask? We can make it happen. Like right now. You sure? It's. It's. We'll pay for it. Not I will. You will, but I'm saying. All right. Brett will pay for it. All right. Never mind. You can pay for that. You'll be all right. See? Come on. It's a good match. Treating you well. Get you something? All right. Never mind. Tripp had a little car issue we wanted to. You sure we can have it? You're.

[Brett Vesely]

I think I know somebody.

[John Holberg]

Hour Trip, you got a guy?

[Brett Vesely]

I think I got. You got a text into him right now.

[John Holberg]

We could have done. Brett's got a guy, but we've got like the guys. Like the whole city would be proud to help Trip Reeb, if you're interested. I'm stranded and I need to help. Brett's the first person I thought of.

[Brady]

Pinch.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Who do I know in menial blue collar labor town? Oh, it's Brett Fesley. Perfect. All right, well, never mind then. That'll work like that.

[Brady]

There's a guy I know can move stuff.

[John Holberg]

We're gonna try to help out, but I don't know. He doesn't want your help, Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm already working on it.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, or our help, I suppose. Well, I. Stop. You got a guy.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm texting him right now.

[John Holberg]

Trip had a little car issue. Has to get some people on that. He turned to Brett. He walked all the way through. He's never done that before. I know. I was all the way through. I'm like, well, there's nothing I can do. Once he crosses the halfway point of this room, it's his and Brett's fired. And I don't know what. This is going to shock me.

[Brady]

Need you to pack your stuff.

[John Holberg]

You strike me as the type of man who has dirty hands because, well, your hands are dirty. I'm very observant. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail]. that's the home of tactical black self defense training. If you want to involved in that, well, you should first of all, get in better shape. That's a good thing. Everybody's going to be talking about getting in better shape starting in January. Start now. You're hoarding all that candy around the house. For the next couple weeks, you're going to be wrappers in every nook and cranny of your home. Stop it. Get in shape. And you can do it in a good way. And you can start Becoming a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep. Like that security guy last night at cvs, he was so comfortable and confident that he can sleep through security, security and just work it. But man, you never know. And don't judge a book by its cover because I looked at him like, how did this guy get a job as a security guard? What's he gonna do? And you realize that most security is just two more eyes. Two more eyes and a quick, A quick phone call, which we can all do. You can be your own security guard and then that way there's two in the room at all times and one might be sleeping. You never know. Just like last night makes you nervous. But you be your own security guard. That's kind of how that works. And you can be security guard for your whole family and actually learn some skills that will apply if needed. If not, you're just getting in great shape with a bunch of great people. And that's what I love about it. Reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[Brady]

Netflix released its full trailer Stranger Things Season 5. And in less than a day, it racked up nearly 8 million views. The first four episodes will be released on November 26th.

[John Holberg]

I have to say that I think the way TV works now with all this, you know, hype on, you know, full series being released in a day that things are getting more interest, interesting to people because of commonality rather than quality. Stranger Things is okay.

[Brett Vesely]

I lost it in the second season.

[John Holberg]

It's good. I'm not going to say it's not, but it is not insane, hype worthy except for, for. And it just screams to me that we want commonality. It's like, oh, is Stranger Things the thing? Then I'm going to get in on that so I can talk to people. I think it's a way to communicate that we've lost completely. So we jump on stuff that may not be that. The Ed Gein thing. Everybody watched it.

[Brady]

It's okay.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, but it wasn't like, like everybody like this crazy thing because we are dying to have something in common again, like just at work or whatever else everybody wants. And I like Stranger Things, but Brett and I'm the same as you. I'm like, second one in. I'm like, ah, I don't care.

[Brady]

And I'm at. It's season five, Right. It's too many seasons now.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

If I'm too far behind. But, but I think it's one of those shows that if you can.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, but you, you say that thing.

[Brady]

You'Re too far overwhelmed.

[John Holberg]

You're too far behind because you feel. It makes you feel like you missed it even while you're watching it. Yeah, you want to be jump in part of the. The it thing. And it's. It kind of sucks because, you know, that was one thing. Tv, music and all that stuff used to do. We all like it or hate it. We all knew about stuff. Now people say stuff to you. Like, I don't even know what that is. Like the devil. What's that? Six, seven, six, seven. Nobody knows what the hell that is. But it's this, this lost kind of every. It's not even generational. It's. Everybody's on a different page. So when these things come out, I'm like, stranger things. Isn't that great? But we're dying to all have the same. Same thing.

[Brady]

Yellowstone creator Taylor Sheridan is developing a live action Call of Duty movie.

[John Holberg]

Oh, he'll pen that in 20 minutes.

[Brady]

It's already done. He writes, but if it's anything like. I mean, there's not too many lemons in his.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that's another one, though. None of them are great. They're good. They don't seem over overly brilliant. They're good, though. But everybody loves them. And you put his name on it now and it's like, oh, this month we all have to watch.

[Brady]

Jesse Eisenberg is donating his kidney to a stranger in need in December.

[John Holberg]

You.

[Brady]

Well, you got to be. I, I wouldn't qualify.

[John Holberg]

Nuts. Because he's Jewish.

[Brady]

Well, I could. If I could reach out and say, look, you can still hold on to your kidney for two more years.

[John Holberg]

You can? Yeah. Really? You have to send it off.

[Brady]

But he's doing it through the National Kidney Foundation. It's a. There's a family voucher program.

[John Holberg]

Wait, I can just go to them and say, I don't know who's getting it. Hack it out. Yeah, that's bananas. Why would you do that?

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[Brady]

Someone asked if you could delete one song from Existence, what would it be?

[John Holberg]

Wow. I mean, you got.

[Brett Vesely]

Margaritaville.

[John Holberg]

Margaritaville's on the list. Some of those door songs could go 311. I know. I'm trying to think of a single song.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm trying to think of one that's.

[John Holberg]

Just that lime in the coconut one makes me mad, so I think I'd.

[Brett Vesely]

Have that Baby shit shark.

[Brady]

Oh, that's number six.

[John Holberg]

Baby shark is.

[Brady]

I never knew who did Baby shark. Pink phone.

[John Holberg]

Okay. Nobody does. Maybe Corey does. He's into that stuff.

[Brady]

Someone Needs. But because of the Ozempic commercial. But Magic by pilot.

[John Holberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, if I hear that again. I'm down with this one. The 1-877-cars for kids.

[John Holberg]

Oh, those are like songs for.

[Brady]

I know. They. They put it on.

[John Holberg]

Okay, so if that's then JG Wentworth's thing. And mainly because it's hypnotic, it. Once you hear it, it's in your brain for days.

[Brady]

Number one was the Christmas Shoes. New song. I don't.

[John Holberg]

What's that?

[Brett Vesely]

I'll see if I can find it.

[John Holberg]

Dead Mom Thriller says Dead Mom.

[Brady]

Number two. Most Last Christmas Wham.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, it gets played a lot. What is Dead Mom Thriller? Good God. He has got some.

[Brady]

The Christmas Shoes is by Dead Mom.

[John Holberg]

Or is that a different song?

[Brady]

Dead Mom.

[John Holberg]

Oh, it is about a dead mom. Oh, it's a sad. You said it was such glee.

[Brady]

Hey, soul sister.

[John Holberg]

Hold on. He had such a huge smile on his face.

[Brett Vesely]

He's got the Harvey haircut still. Come on.

[John Holberg]

And he's just chanting, dead Ma. This is it.

[Brett Vesely]

I.

[John Holberg]

This is the Dead Mom Christmas Shoes.

[Brett Vesely]

Christmas time Christmas song.

[Brady]

Apparently.

[Brett Vesely]

Unless there's a song I'm missing. I don't know.

[John Holberg]

So Corey. This is a dude's mom dies and he has her shoes and he. And Christmas reminds him. So he dresses up like his mom, like Ed Gein, and wanders around the house at Christmas. Is that accurate? Oh, sorry.

[Scott Taylor]

So it's like.

[John Holberg]

Is this it?

[Scott Taylor]

Yeah, this is the right song. It's a ballad about like, this young kid who's having his mom die in the hospital. And he's all like, oh, my life's going to come crap. So this random stranger who's the one sitting here says, here, here's some money for some new shoes. So while he's gone, though, the mom passes away. So she doesn't. He doesn't see his mom die.

[John Holberg]

Oh, he leaves to go get some Nikes.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holberg]

And his mom dies while he's.

[Scott Taylor]

Oh, hey, kid, you're going through a tough time. Here's some money to distract you while she takes the bucket.

[John Holberg]

What a selfish little prick.

[Scott Taylor]

Hey, he got the money.

[John Holberg]

And who in the hospital says he.

[Brady]

Got drawn for the.

[John Holberg]

The new Jordans? That's true. So that's why. That's why. Yeah, that's it. He got the Jordan threes that were.

[Scott Taylor]

And the narrator. And the narrator might be Jesus. They don't really narrow it down.

[John Holberg]

Oh, Jesus. Actually performing.

[Scott Taylor]

Might be. Might be. That's what you asked.

[John Holberg]

I've never heard Jesus actually sing before. This is Interesting. Is that him? So the stranger knew this kid's plight the whole time. Yes. And then goes in and goes, I'm gonna buy you some.

[Brady]

Kids shouldn't be there for the mom.

[John Holberg]

Why?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John Holberg]

That is exactly when the kids should.

[Brady]

Get out of here. Buy some shoes.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, you don't need to see this. She coming back.

[Brett Vesely]

Boy, they dropped the flu game.

[John Holberg]

Jordans.

[Brett Vesely]

And he's like, I'm out. I'm going to get these things.

[John Holberg]

Got a line on them for 350.

[Brady]

Some other songs on the list all summer long. Kid Rock, My Humps, Black Eyed Peas, Mambo Number five.

[John Holberg]

Oh, there's a good one.

[Brady]

Achy Breaky Heart. Imagine we built this city.

[John Holberg]

Just getting at it. Kind of annoying. I could talk. Tolerate him again.

[Brady]

Moves like Jagger.

[John Holberg]

There's that Kesha song there for a minute.

[Brady]

I hate milkshake.

[John Holberg]

Which one? No, that was. That's Kellis.

[Brady]

That's Kellis.

[John Holberg]

That's right. You know what I'm saying?

[Brett Vesely]

Tick tock song.

[John Holberg]

Tick tock.

[Brady]

I know you're gonna check this out. Alice Cooper and Chris angel are teaming up. Welcome to my. Welcome to our new nightmare Las Vegas show. It'll be in November 2026. Actually, the. The tickets go on sale in November. November 4th. The shows will be in March of 2026.

[John Holberg]

So next week, tickets for Chris angel and Alice Cooper. Yep.

[Brady]

Limited engagement March 6th and 7th.

[John Holberg]

Horrendous looking crowd.

[Scott Taylor]

The biggest trip of all. Tried to make their careers.

[Brady]

The. The poster.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Facing off.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. They're face to face. So. Yeah, I think Cory's right. This is a. It's not at Sphere or anything.

[Brady]

And 21 pilots will perform in honor of the White Stripes at the Rock and Rock Hall Ceremony and Sound Garden will also perform, joined by Taylor, Mo Thompson, Brady Carlisle and Jerry Cantrell.

[John Holberg]

They're gonna. They're gonna say it's Brandy Carlisle. You're so into yourself.

[Brady]

What did I say?

[Brett Vesely]

Brady Johnny Strong. Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Bring somebody who's gonna.

[Brady]

Sounds. That'll be my next cross dressing Brandy Carlisle.

[John Holberg]

It's better than Scott Taylor's costume. At least I. I might guess Brandy Carlisle if you came in dressed like that. All right, there you go. That's your entertainment drill. And we've got ourselves a Guadalupe Squares coming up. The Cl. Close out Halloween. Are you a big Halloween guy?

[Scott Taylor]

Yeah, I usually just hang with the family, but that's it.

[John Holberg]

Are you coming tonight to the show? To Justice Thriller?

[Scott Taylor]

I have a game tonight.

[John Holberg]

Unbelievable.

[Scott Taylor]

What game?

[John Holberg]

Rising NAU Football. NAU Football.

[Scott Taylor]

It's a Friday game all year. It's very funny.

[John Holberg]

You should just not do it and see if anyone notices.

[Scott Taylor]

Oh, they'll know.

[John Holberg]

No, they won't.

[Scott Taylor]

We have contacts that'll call Chris and bother him.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, the spirit boxes won't go off.

[Brady]

What if you ran audio from a previous?

[Scott Taylor]

I don't run, Brady.

[Brady]

That was a good one.

[John Holberg]

He jumped on that thing. It's 929. Give it to us. We need a girl, we need a boy. 585-9-800. And we'll play those Guadalupe squares next.

[Brady]

Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holberg]

I have heard enough of this Homburg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. All right, it's. Look at this. Friday is already almost out of here. We got our Halloween everything. People dressed up at work, doing their thing, running around up and down this. You didn't dress up today, Corey.

[Scott Taylor]

I did not know.

[John Holberg]

Why?

[Scott Taylor]

Because I'm not only gonna be able to celebrate. I don't only have a costume anyway.

[John Holberg]

What would you have gone as?

[Scott Taylor]

My default usually is cow. Cowboy.

[John Holberg]

All right, isolate that. We're gonna play that in May and it won't make any sense, but it'll be awesome.

[Scott Taylor]

I'll save it for June.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, why not? Oh, that's a good idea. Save it for the month after. I see what you did there, the pride thingy. Why cowboy? You just like.

[Scott Taylor]

I think it's just funny because, like, cowboys usually have an exaggerated swagger when they walk into the tavern.

[John Holberg]

You know, yours is over the top. You'd be like. Like. You could do a good, like, Woody.

[Scott Taylor]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

From Toy Story. Yeah. Yeah, that would be.

[Scott Taylor]

Be too bad.

[John Holberg]

Isolate that, too. You could do a good Woody. I default to cowboy. These are all good isolation quotes. What are we giving away today? What do you got on that thing over there? You're still trying to get a flatbed for our boss?

[Brady]

I got it.

[John Holberg]

Got to handle it. Yeah, I got to handle it.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, I just got to talk to him about it. Where do you want it for Q and A?

[John Holberg]

Oh, we're going to the Shatner thing. Okay, cool. You get to come to the William Shatner Wrath of Khan Q and A that I get to host on the 12th of November. I'm excited about that. Calendo's joining me out there. It's going to be me, Ma, Bill, Bill Shatner, that is, and of course, Frank Calando. And we're going to everybody gets to watch Wrath of Khan, the second Star Trek. Have you seen it?

[Scott Taylor]

No.

[John Holberg]

Oh, Corey, you got to go to this. And then William Shatner does an hour of amazing entertainment. I kind of moderate. And Frank and I are going to goof around up there with him. It's going to be awesome. Tickets to this are great, and it's at the Orpheum theater on the 12th.

[Brady]

Oh, cool.

[John Holberg]

We're giving those out. You can grab tickets still, too. I think they're still available. It is worth it. I went to the one I hosted the one in 2020. God, I had to be 2017 now, something like that, seven or eight years ago. And it was. I had high expectations and he exceeded them greatly. He's 94 years old and he's got more energy than I've ever met. And that was when he was so. He was 88 when I saw him last. It was six years ago. The dude's ridiculous. So that'll be cool. All right. Tickets for that, I do believe. That's it. Here's your host of The Guadalupe squares, Mr. Corey Thriller walls. Corey.

[Scott Taylor]

Thank you, Chancellor. Let's begin. The top left square here, Peter Steel. Starting off.

[John Holberg]

She's in love with herself. She likes the dark. Are you familiar with Peter Steele? I've heard story. Thriller Walls. I've heard the name, yes, Because I used to be singer of a band called Typo Negative, known for great hits, chicks and beating up Deftones. I hate Deftones. Bring me Deftones Now Vaporize Corey. I will turn into vapor and fly around the room to make Thriller nervous. Here we go. I am back now and I am thirsty. Corey Thriller Walsh, will you go get me a Diet Pepsi?

[Scott Taylor]

You trust me to deliver drinks?

[John Holberg]

I'm bad at that. I don't want it opened. Just the can. It will be shaken up and exciting when I finally pull the trigger. Oh, yes, yes, I hear the siren song. For it is my music on the milk white neck. The devil's mark. What happens to my throat when I sing? It's All Hallow's Eve. The moon is full. Oh, we'll see. Trick or treat, Brady. I bet she will. The accent you are wondering about, Corey, is Pennsylvania Midnight. Oh, it's my favorite person with Nosferatu. Brady. You should go as Nosferatu. Monster ain't got nothing on you. I don't know what we want now. It gets really difficult. It's too early in the morning. Happy Halloween, everybody. No. Take me to Deathtones. All right, all right.

[Scott Taylor]

Now over to the top, middle square. Of Bill Cower and Billy Dee Williams together.

[John Holberg]

There's a reason we're here today. It's Bill Tower. Hi, guys.

[Brady]

It's good to see 55 years ago.

[John Holberg]

55 years ago, a movie. A movie came out, a football movie. But it wasn't about football. It was about friendship, Brady. It was about camaraderie. So we're being best friends with a guy, and that guy, you know, has something terrible happen for him.

[Scott Taylor]

What was that?

[John Holberg]

It's called Brian's Song. And it makes. It makes a football man like me, my wife, V. My daughter Megan, a little emotional. And I like to introduce the star of the movie. Unless you don't count your James Gunn, Billy D. Williams. Billy D. Come on in. How you doing, Coach? He is a cope 45 for you. I love you, Brian Piccolo. See, that's the line in the movie that gets me every time.

[Brady]

What's up, Lando?

[John Holberg]

It just gets really tough. He's not Lando today, Brady. I'll be Lando if you want me to be, man. I'll do whatever you want for a buck. I'm 90 years old, Coach G. I don't know what I did yesterday. You asked me to, remember? 55 years ago. You were out of your mind, man. Could you just for a second there, if I lay down and act like I'm dying, lean over the top of me and tell me you miss me. Instead of saying Brian Piccolo, say Coach Cow. That would mean the world to me. I'll do whatever you want there. Lay down, buddy.

[Brady]

Look at me.

[John Holberg]

I'm dying. I'm dying. I don't know what to do, and I feel terrible about it. I'm gonna miss you, Coach Cower. Oh, that got me. That got me right here. Right in the old ticket as a Pittsburgh Stiller. That meant a lot to me. The only thing I wish is a Bron Piccolo was a Stiller, not a Bear. Cause I really don't care when bears die. But that got me. This guy's an emotional train wreck. He cries at everything. He's a Colt 45. Throw. I'm gonna see if I can straighten out there and walk.

[Scott Taylor]

I never know till we try.

[John Holberg]

Where are you from?

[Scott Taylor]

Here.

[John Holberg]

Let's get you there.

[Scott Taylor]

Over now, to the top right square.

[John Holberg]

President Trump.

[Scott Taylor]

How are you, sir?

[John Holberg]

I didn't like Brian Piccolo. I didn't care for him. I thought the end of the movie was perfect. Like, good. That guy's not around anymore. I didn't like him. I didn't care. For me was. He seemed kind of cocky. You know, he had a black roommate. I don't know what he was trying to prove back then, but that was not kosher back in the day.

[Brady]

So you don't like fullbacks?

[John Holberg]

Didn't. You're not even going to ask me about my costume? I got a costume dressed up as Xi Jingping. Oh, here I am. I knock on doors. Ping pong. Ching Chong Charlie. How are you? I'm Gigi Jingping making. No more tales. No more accent breeze. No tales. Gigi, that's. I just spent time with him already. I've got the impression down pat. Do you approve of that Giging? Yeah, he said great. He's actually said great work. And I said ping pong and he'd laugh for we laugh. He's a great guy. Good leader, great country. Good leader, great guy. Xi Jing. That's why I dressed up like when they looked. A little scotch tape and a pot belly, which I already had. I didn't. I just went right after the Xi Jingping.

[Brady]

What are you handing out for?

[John Holberg]

Well, I'm just. Just going to play my tune right now. I'm handing out Tal. Oh, give Tali. Me give you Tali for Halloween. Oh, I'm going to play this outside when all the kids march up to the White House lawn for happy harroween and be surprised when I answer the door. Asing thing. What if they think you're Miyagi? Well, that would be wrong. But you know what? Who cares? Close enough. I say Miyagi. Listen to that. That's their national national anthem. No, no. It is. Yeah, we changed it. I told him I would tear up them 150 if they didn't change immediately to Carl Douglas's Kung Fu Fighting. I want him to win every gold medal from here on out. And now, representing this country of China, the diving team that wins every time would just be kung Fu Fighting. I'd make them play the whole. The whole damn thing, and I would do my dance. You like the ping?

[Scott Taylor]

He seems very confident.

[John Holberg]

He's a confident man. He's a good leader. He's a good leader.

[Brady]

How's his golf game?

[John Holberg]

Surprisingly pretty good. He's a good putter. He's got a handshake's a little weak. It's a little. It's a little weak.

[Brady]

That's unfortunate.

[John Holberg]

Small hands, very small. Little Asian. Not like my big American meat hooks. Oh. I shook his head. He's like, oh, song. I said, sorry about that, G. It's an American headshake and it's just 150% heavier than it needs to be. You can take that off. And they just shouted at me, no, that is. And I said, okay. And we made a deal. All right? I bought teu. It's ours.

[Scott Taylor]

Straight up, the whole thing.

[John Holberg]

They can have Tik Tok. I got teu. So you get really tiny furniture now for a very, very low price.

[Brady]

Trump move.

[John Holberg]

Trump move. I like that Br. We're going to sell steaks from China. What can go wrong? I think mail order steaks from Xi Jing's house. I think that's loaded with lead. Whatever they're loaded with, the discount is worth it. And that's the flavors in the lead. Toledo. We all know that. Yeah.

[Scott Taylor]

Art of the deal. Come on.

[John Holberg]

The art of the deal. No talies. Okay, now over to Breeze Breeze Breeze. He said. I said, I don't understand. I need a translation. Oh, no, no translation. Please, please, no, tell us. And I said, okay.

[Brett Vesely]

We're good leaders.

[John Holberg]

Sorry, I'm off on a pain.

[Scott Taylor]

I understand. Very important business. Over now to the middle left square, Vin Scully getting ready for more of the World Series.

[John Holberg]

It's time for the last Dodger baseball game of the year. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. It does not look good. You can turn it around.

[Brady]

What's Your score prediction?

[John Holberg]

17 1. The overlords from the north with that wacky Vladimir Guerrero are gonna whack home runs all over the Dodger. They're cooked. Goose is done. The Dodger dogs are finished. And I suppose we'll just have to wait till next year to go back to the World Series, which we seem like we're in every year. It'll be raining poutine in the streets of Toronto tonight. Oh, I just pictured it. Little known fact, poutine is actually vomiting rice. Canadians suck it up like nobody's business. A lot of Asians, Asians in Toronto.

[Scott Taylor]

Just you wait.

[John Holberg]

Oh, I like the Asians of Toronto. I like the Asians. I'm dressed, like, into Toronto. Yeah, I like that. I'll play there. National Japana, I like to call it. No, you look up there, you're not sure. Did I. Did I fell asleep on the plane and did we go further than I thought? Cuz I think I'm into Japan. It's cold Japan. That's what I call it. It's just cold sake.

[Scott Taylor]

Okay, over now to the middle square. Knock, knock joke day, Brady.

[John Holberg]

That's right. That's right. Thriller. It's Knock knock joke. International Knock knock joke day. Okay, so knock knock. See what I'm doing there.

[Scott Taylor]

Yes.

[John Holberg]

Taj.

[Scott Taylor]

Taj who?

[John Holberg]

Taj Madick. It's been ages. Get one. Thanks. Other gid me. Knock, knock.

[Scott Taylor]

Who's there?

[John Holberg]

Ice cream.

[Scott Taylor]

I scream who?

[John Holberg]

I scream for you all night long if you'd open the door. Knock knock jokes are Kirby and mine's favorite way to pass the time.

[Scott Taylor]

You say that in front of your daughter.

[Brady]

Yeah, Yeah.

[John Holberg]

I don't get most of them. She has to explain them. Knock, knock.

[Scott Taylor]

Who's there?

[John Holberg]

Ben. Ben who? Bend down and worship this booty. That's my knock knock joke. Only gets one day.

[Scott Taylor]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Pretty strong stuff, though. Cory, I know you're gonna be using these all weekend.

[Brady]

Kirby give you the D's at the NAU game?

[Scott Taylor]

Yes.

[John Holberg]

Hey. Knock knock.

[Brady]

Corey.

[Scott Taylor]

Who's there?

[John Holberg]

Hal who? I'll let you touch my. You open the door. I see my other side of a door. The whole thing is about the greeting. That's where you get the doorknob and.

[Scott Taylor]

Use it as a hole.

[John Holberg]

What? Good Christ, man. Oh, my God. Knock knock.

[Scott Taylor]

Who's there?

[John Holberg]

B.

[Scott Taylor]

B who?

[John Holberg]

Behind you. Bend over. All right. Mine are all real dirty.

[Scott Taylor]

No, there's a pattern there.

[John Holberg]

Knock knock jokes. That's what I do.

[Brett Vesely]

Four day work week sounds.

[John Holberg]

No, no, Brett. That's what we do. A knock knock joke day. Do you want a good one, Brett?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

How about this one for you? All right. It says that. Knock, knock.

[Brett Vesely]

Who's there?

[John Holberg]

Well, I got a good one. I got a funny way to start. Are you ready?

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holberg]

Knock, knock.

[Brett Vesely]

Who's there?

[John Holberg]

Or that's not how it goes. It's designed to confuse you. Got doorbell ditched. Wow. Later.

[Brett Vesely]

That's it.

[John Holberg]

Late.

[Brady]

What's Izzy doing?

[John Holberg]

Let's switch over.

[Brady]

She's talking.

[John Holberg]

Talking about poop with Brad Pear.

[Scott Taylor]

That's possible.

[Brady]

Knock, knock joke that.

[John Holberg]

You'll use them all, I promise you. They're great jokes.

[Scott Taylor]

All right, over now to the middle. Right square. Adam west here.

[John Holberg]

That's right, old chum. I'm a little concerned about. Hello, Brady. I'm a little concerned about Halloween. I'm seeing an awful lot of people dressed as Batman. But I don't think it's the costume that I used to wear. It's some sort of hybrid of the Batman I made famous. And I particularly like the one I made good. So I believe it's time for us to bring back the Batusi. If in fact, you're going out as Halloween Batman today. Remember, he wore light blue with panties over the top and a yellow belt. Anything else is a Crude copy. Some sort of plagiarism? Plagiarized Chinese madman's dream come true to steal money from you at the Spirit Halloween store. Did you say a crazy Chinese man hero? I'm g jingping for Halloween. Harrowing. I can't say it very well. I'm not very good at it. Holmberg's morning sickness. There it is. The Batusi. Oh, yeah.

[Scott Taylor]

I love that you always had a dad bod.

[John Holberg]

What are you talking about? That, yes, sir, is an amazing physique. Cory. Look at the chiseled jawline on that superhero. Why is a quarrel like a bargain? Oh, well, what master taught you to read? The answer is it takes two to three make it. It's time to take her to the dance floor, poison her drink and do some sort of spastic dance with my eyeballs. The Batus.

[Brady]

Corey.

[Scott Taylor]

No, I've seen it.

[John Holberg]

Corey, when you trick or treat tonight, go to each and every door, knock on it, tell one of Brady's jokes, and then break into the Batu seat.

[Brady]

No, no, no.

[John Holberg]

People will love every second of it.

[Scott Taylor]

The cops will see me shortly if that happens.

[John Holberg]

That's exactly right. And my plan will be complete. Cory will end up behind bars where he belongs.

[Scott Taylor]

What have I done?

[John Holberg]

That's fine by me.

[Scott Taylor]

Okay.

[John Holberg]

Happy Halloween, everyone.

[Scott Taylor]

Your body's going limp, but okay. Now over to the bottom left square.

[Brady]

Brady. Secret square.

[Scott Taylor]

Give us a hint.

[Brady]

All right, stop. Collaborate in this. It's my birthday. You're not gonna miss it.

[Scott Taylor]

You're allowed to stop.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

I'm 58.

[John Holberg]

We got it over.

[Scott Taylor]

Now, bottom middle square, Ozzy Osbourne.

[John Holberg]

What was in that mess over there? What was the end of that? It was too. Tonight. Night of the singing. That is happening tonight. I make an appearance at that. You see. Hey, Corey.

[Scott Taylor]

Yes.

[John Holberg]

Oh, yeah, I'll be out tonight. I'm going to be out of the concert tonight, singing out there in Copper Blues.

[Brady]

We ever do the Secret Square song tonight?

[John Holberg]

You know, he's still alive, unfortunately. We've been doing vanilla. We do Vanilla Ice all night long. I'm going to. I'm going to jump through a spirit box, Brett, and get inside of John's body and we'll gonna do. We're gonna do Aussie songs all night long, Brady. We're gonna make it be great night of Night of the things dead. Because of course I died earlier this year in July. And I'll be coming back as a headless bat.

[Brady]

Oh, awesome.

[John Holberg]

If you need help with that, I know a guy. Oh, yeah. Peter Steve. Very, very Halloween script. I'm dead now. The prince of darkness comes back for Halloween for his dead. Now see, it's tonight at night of the singing dead. Which starts me, Ozzy Osborne, right? Yes, yes, dad. She's going to be there.

[Scott Taylor]

She's live.

[Brady]

She could be.

[John Holberg]

She might show up soon. She bought a ticket to the guy doing a show about me.

[Brady]

She's big with pets.

[John Holberg]

Or the khabisa. Could be very, very much. The pet charities would be a wonderful thing for us to be. Sharon. Sharon. Sharon is a pumpkin. And I'm Peter people. Peter. Peter's a pumpkin eater. Oh, Peter Peeper. I like Peter Peeper. The pumpkin peeper. I just look at it.

[Scott Taylor]

Over now to the bottom right square. Our Lord and savior trip read. How you doing, sir?

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Hi. Hi.

[John Holberg]

You see my pickaxe?

[Brady]

That's cool.

[John Holberg]

And my helmet? Oh yeah. I'm Toledo's dad.

[Scott Taylor]

I thought you were.

[John Holberg]

And now I'm Toledo's dad. For real. Hey, gotta get. Get milk.

[Scott Taylor]

You find the truck? Smokes?

[John Holberg]

Yeah. No, whatever it was, you didn't hear it and you still haven't. Yeah. Hi, I'm Toledo's dad. Oh yeah. There's Toledo. Let me hide. Yep. Hey, Brett. Yeah, I needed a flat bed pickup truck. I got a date tonight.

[Brady]

What?

[John Holberg]

I found a big one. All right.

[Brady]

I know a guy.

[John Holberg]

You got a guy? I got a guy.

[Brady]

Winch or no winch.

[John Holberg]

Oh man, we're gonna need a winch. And I'm gon needed like seven trained SeaWorld employees to come pour water on her on the drive over to the house.

[Scott Taylor]

What? 500. 600.

[Brett Vesely]

What are you doing?

[John Holberg]

Amateur hour. All right, all right. £600. That's baby compared to what this dude's doing. Yeah, only man comes to another man needing a flatbed truck when he's got himself a monster on jack. Oh yeah. She broke down in the Starbucks parking lot, rolled her ankle and they can't get her up a. That's the only reason you need a truck like that at 9 o' clock in the morning. So I'm running with it. All right, who's on the line?

[Brett Vesely]

Sam and Valerie.

[John Holberg]

Oh, oh. Sam, are you there?

[Brady]

Yes, sir.

[John Holberg]

Valerie, are you there? Yes, I am. All right, Valerie, you're a girl. Go ahead, pick a square.

[Brady]

Let's go.

[John Holberg]

Knock, knock joke, Brady. All right, Everybody loves knock knock jokes. Hey, Valerie, I got a good one. Ready? Ready? Okay. All right, here we go. Knock knock. Who's there? 9 11. 911 who? Hey, you said you'd never forget 911 jokes. My wheelhouse. That's a good one. I like that one. All right, how about this one? Knock, knock. Who's there? I eat mop. What? I said I eat mop. I eat mop. Who? Disgusting. I've seen her on Brett's videos. Anyway, thanks for calling in, Valerie. A knock knock joke day.

[Scott Taylor]

All right, question here for you.

[John Holberg]

Happiest day a man can be alive.

[Scott Taylor]

All right, here, Brady. In Japanese.

[John Holberg]

Japanese. Dirty knees. Look at these. No talents.

[Scott Taylor]

In Japanese, the word for hunger translates to lonely mouth. True or false?

[John Holberg]

Ooh, man, I got one of those. Hey there, lonely mouth.

[Scott Taylor]

Hunger.

[John Holberg]

The word for hunger means lonesome mouth.

[Brett Vesely]

Huh?

[John Holberg]

True or false in Japan? I don't think that's true. That's weird. I know they're weird and stuff, but that's really weird. That's really weird.

[Scott Taylor]

Alrighty then. Brady's saying false. Now, Valerie, do you agree or disagree with. With falls?

[John Holberg]

I disagree.

[Scott Taylor]

Incorrect. Then sorl gets the center.

[John Holberg]

Actually, the word is no choo choo. No, that's when they're hungry. No, that's not at all. Brady's right. I just looked it up. I looked on true social, Truth social to Google truth Social. And it said. How do you say hungry in Japan? And it said no choo choo. And I said, okay, Brady's right. Brady's good.

[Scott Taylor]

All right, now over to Sam here. Make your choice, man.

[John Holberg]

Mr. President. All right. No tales. Mr. President. President Xi Jinping. That's what I am today. President Xi Jinping. Do you have any questions for me, Sam, about the deal I just made with China? That's going to be. It's going to. It's a lot of people saying it's maybe the best deal ever made. I would agree. I think Xi Jin agrees. I support you all the way. Thank you very much. I support your support. And also Gigi Ping. So don't drink the coke. That's all. I'll tell you, I played a little joke on Xi Jinping. Me Chinese little jokes, man.

[Scott Taylor]

All right, question here for you, sir.

[John Holberg]

I pissed in his coke. I don't remember the rhyme, but I pissed in a man's glass. I had a Brady. Knock knock. If he wants that one. Oh, yeah, go ahead. Knock knock. Go ahead. Knock knock. Who's that there? Emerson. Okay, Emerson who? Emerson.

[Scott Taylor]

Not boobies you got there.

[John Holberg]

I like it. I like it a lot. Very good. Approved. Giging joke. Approved. No killy killy. You get to live. That's right. Government control. All right, let's go ask my question.

[Scott Taylor]

No worries. Men who Experience morning wood are less likely to die from harm. Heart disease, true or false.

[John Holberg]

I know if I didn't get wood right off the bat to start the day, I'd want to be dead. So, heart disease or otherwise, it's a great cause of depression to look down and see your flaccid mem. Just. Am I right, Brady?

[Hans Kim]

You know.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holberg]

Oh, yeah. So I'll say Brady's dick doesn't get hard in the morning at all.

[Scott Taylor]

You're saying he's more likely to.

[John Holberg]

It's a re. A Neuter. Ging said that. Not me. My character.

[Scott Taylor]

I. I see.

[John Holberg]

I'm in Halloween. Character. Brady as Gigi. Yeah, Gigi looking. I do. I look great. It's the right shade of orange. I look sort of like a La Mangelo tangerine. And it's good. I'll say that's probably true. Yeah. Your heart's not gonna work much longer if your dick's not hard when you wake up.

[Scott Taylor]

All right, then you're saying true. Now, Sam, do you agree or disagree with true?

[John Holberg]

I'm gonna agree. Correct. Sam knows a good hard one. He's familiar.

[Scott Taylor]

All right, now, Valer, you could do the secret square for the block.

[John Holberg]

Ooh. Let's go with trip instead. Oh, okay.

[Scott Taylor]

All right.

[Brady]

Word to your mother.

[John Holberg]

I gotta tell you, Valerie, if you don't know the secret square today, you might need institutional normalization.

[Scott Taylor]

Well, sir, I might. Women love you, sir.

[John Holberg]

You know it's true. She. She didn't want to go over there. Yeah, that's true.

[Brady]

Cool.

[John Holberg]

Trip. Yeah? How many men would it take you to get in the back of my flatbed? Geez, I don't even know what to say to that. Yeah, well, you got a lonely mouse because I got a flatbed.

[Hans Kim]

No.

[John Holberg]

Nothing but time to kill.

[Scott Taylor]

All right, I got a question here for you, sir.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Scott Taylor]

The Voyager spacecrafts travel more than 22 million miles away from the Earth each day.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. And you know who the pilot is? Toledo's dad. Yeah. Yeah, I'll say that's probably. That seems a little quick. Okay, I'll say that's false.

[Scott Taylor]

All right, so you're saying false. Now, Valerie, do you agree or disagree with False.

[John Holberg]

I agree. Correct.

[Scott Taylor]

X gets the square on that one.

[John Holberg]

Go, Doyers.

[Scott Taylor]

All right, so, Sam, the secret square is available. Do you want it?

[John Holberg]

Yes, sir. For the win.

[Scott Taylor]

Who could it be for the win?

[John Holberg]

Brady.

[Brady]

Check out the hook while my DJ Revolves it.

[John Holberg]

Thank you. Very well done, Sam. Brady.

[Scott Taylor]

That was Brady who was talking.

[John Holberg]

But who's the who's the character he is playing? Give him another clue.

[Brady]

Yo, Kiss.

[John Holberg]

I can't hear him. You can't hear him? Oh, Vanilla Ice. Yes, yes, you can hear. There is. Well done. Get out of here. The Halloween squares are over before President Trump gets canceled. For God's sakes, what's going on there? Why would I get canceled? I'm best friends with him. Rhett likes Xi Jinping, the character a lot. Brett, for some reason, started to play Coldplays Yellow and I didn't know why, but look at the stars. He wants me to sing it. I'm not gonna do it. Have they shine for you? I'm a very good singer. People don't. Because they were all yellow. We all live in. Never mind. My name is Xi Jinping. You could do that. At the Night of the Singing Dead, half of them are gone. It's true.

[Scott Taylor]

What's your bet? Who's the last one standing?

[John Holberg]

The Beatles? I don't know. Probably. I'll say Ringo. Of course. Ringo seems to be.

[Brady]

Cockroach.

[John Holberg]

The cockroach. Paul's a liberal cuck. Tired of his nonsense. So, yeah, I'll get out of here. All right, we're going. I gotta go there.

[Scott Taylor]

Nice to have you, sir.

[John Holberg]

Get out. Costume was convincing, though. They looked. It looked exactly like him. Yeah, that hair dye, it looks really good. Let's get out of here, shall we? Halloween black. Yeah, Chinaman Black hair color. That was the last thing Craig Gast did to his hair before he shaved it. I. We saw him at a baseball. I was at a baseball game with him and I noticed under his hat that his hair was opaque. And I said, what. What color is that on your head under the bed? And he started laughing and he goes, it's Chinaman black. And I. For a second, I'm like, is that real? Clairol's Chinaman Black? But then he's like, it looks horrible. I'm like, yeah, you need to. It's time to go. We're done. Larry's coming up next. You've got a nothing this week.

[Scott Taylor]

And I use a knife.

[John Holberg]

And that's not like I said. Yeah. And then everybody else, we're going to be at Night of the Singing Dead tonight. Copper Blues, CB Live at Desert Ridge Straggler. Tickets available at the door, but not many. It is pretty much sold out. So everybody who bought them, thanks. Thank you. We'll make it worth it. We're gonna have a great Halloween party tonight. If you want to try to drag ass up there, we'd love to see you and screw around up there together. That's it. Brett will be up there. Brady will be up there dancing and singing Toledo. You can do it too, if you feel like it. It's up to you. I'll have Toledo dressed as a hobo during down under or something. I don't know. You just come as an Australian.

[Brady]

You got a koala outfit, dressed like.

[John Holberg]

A bogan dressed up. The funniest thing in the night. I'm gonna to tell you this. Chris. Chris from Christopher. Shane. Chris. Key six is going to come up and do a song with us. And he's dressed as a bear. And just to let you know, I'll be dressed as Herbert from Family Guy. So those two singing hunger strike is going to be visually hilarious. There's going to be a lot of moments where you're like, this is. This just looks like I'm having a horrible dream. The song, like, you know, Herbert singing bone crusher. It's gonna be interesting. I. I want. I actually want to watch the video. We'll see, though. That's it. All right, we're done. Have a great one. We will see you on Monday right here in the morning sickness.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.

[John Holberg]

I have heard enough of this.

[Brady]

I'm Mike King from the podcast Profiling Evil. A place where true crime meets behavioral science. I spent my career investigating serial predators and studying the psychology behind them. Here, we don't just talk about what criminals did. We explore why they do what they do. We expose manipulation and control, look at how offenders select their victims and uncover the ways that they try to avoid detection. You can find profiling Evil on your favorite podcast platform.