Holmberg’s Morning Sickness — October 31, 2025

Episode Theme:
A Halloween morning episode that dives into history’s mysteries, modern paranormal scams, and the business of haunted stories — all with sarcastic banter and quick-witted ridicule. John Holmberg and his crew explore the “phantom time” theory about the Dark Ages, lampoon paranormal technology like the Spirit Box, and eviscerate ghost-chasing culture, all while tying it back to Halloween lore.

1. Halloween & Arizona Life

• [01:18–03:06]
  The show opens with jokes about Arizona’s summer-like Halloween weather and early Christmas prep.
  • “88-degree Halloween. Take that rest of the United States.” — John
  • Brady lampoons his own early Christmas lights installation:
    “I got Margie May lighting company… Merry Christmas in my yard… kids wandering up. It’s crazy.”
  • Conventional banter about red bows on gifts and Arizona’s commercialism.

2. The Dark Ages & the ‘Phantom Time’ Hypothesis

• [04:44–14:31]
  Holmberg shares a late-night rabbit hole: the wild historical theory that the Dark Ages (roughly 600–900 AD) never happened and Western history “jumped forward” 300 years at the whims of medieval rulers — the “Phantom Time Paradox.”
  • John explains:
    “We’re literally right now living in about 1730. … There’s a 300 year gap and I’ve never known that.” [06:07]
  • They recap the theory — that kings “fast forwarded” to make their reigns look more significant.
  • The team is fascinated by evidence: meticulous Roman record keeping, this mysterious blank era, the millennium obsession, and how easily history can be manipulated when “no one could read.”
  • “It was real easy to lie is what I’m saying.” — Brady [10:19]
  • John encourages listeners:
    “You can start talking to other people at your work and annoy them with it, but it’s pretty great.” [20:01]
  • Notable quote:
    “If that ever got proven, then we’re in the year 1700 something. … That’s all you need to worry about. And it’s like, oh, we can start all over. It’s crazy. I love it.” — John [08:15]

3. “Spirit Boxes” & Haunt-Tech Scams

• [20:51–34:03]
  Holmberg recounts Halloween stories involving “haunted” dolls, spirit boxes, and the modern scam of paranormal equipment.
  • Brady retells a book author’s story:
    “She gets the chills… so she got herself a Ghostbusters machine… a spirit box.” [21:23]
  • The group roasts the concept:
    “That paranormal torch or something.” — “Just put it on tape, or otherwise you’re the CW frog — if you can’t make the haunted doll talk to anyone but you, what does it matter?”
  • Spirit boxes are exposed as glorified AM radios, their inventor (Frank Sumption) mocked for “selling the ultimate pet rock to dumb people.”
    • “There is a guy who wakes up every morning laughing hysterically that his entire life… he basically sold the ultimate pet rock to dumb people.” — Brady [24:12]
  • John:
    “Apparently uses the AM radio band. Well, they’re finally using it for something.” [25:48]
  • The team listens to online “spirit box” videos, ridicules believers, and marvels at spirit box prices ranging from $20–$100+.

Notable Segment: “Kurt Cobain, Freddie Mercury & OJ Simpson on Spirit Box”

• [34:36–49:10]
  They lampoon YouTube “spirit box interviews” purporting to channel Kurt Cobain and Freddie Mercury, with thousands of views.
  • “With the billions of people who’ve died… how come you didn’t get Layne Staley instead?” — John [35:22]
  • “This guy’s got Mercury and Cobain… and we’ve got Hans Kim today!” — John / Brady [41:33]
  • Spirit boxes are equated with Ouija boards and other childhood paranormal fads.
  • The show creates mock “OJ Simpson” spirit box bits, complete with zingers about haunts and murders.
    • “I killed people who weren’t skeletons yet. They’re easy.” — “OJ Simpson” (joked by cast) [48:09]

4. Grifting & Gullibility: Haunted Dolls, Past Lives, and Reincarnation

• [40:47–46:20]
  • Reincarnation tales are mocked — everyone who claims a past life was always a famous figure, never an ordinary person.
    • “It was a guy named Larry Krupke… a farmer… choked on soup… That was me.” — Brady [44:35]
  • Brady shares relative’s and friends’ claims of being Patton or Wilbur Wright in a past life, poking fun at their delusions and life choices (including jail for penny stocks).
  • Quick bit about "ghetto ghost" videos and other spirit box personalities on YouTube.

5. Conclusion: Ghosts (Probably) Aren’t Real

• [49:52–50:11]
  John wraps with a tongue-in-cheek mission statement:
  • “If I could have one thing I’ve done on the radio, it’s to convince everyone listening that ghosts aren’t real. That would be my… If I left and they said one thing John did for humanity is convinced an entire group of people that ghosts… aren’t real as all the stories.” [49:52]
  • The rest of the cast agrees that most ghost stories are baloney, and suggest buying a spirit box just for fun to prank each other on air.

Memorable Quotes

• On the ‘Phantom Time’ Paradox:
  “We’re literally right now living in about 1730. … There’s a 300 year gap and I’ve never known that.” — John [06:07]
• On Paranormal Scams:
  “He basically sold the ultimate pet rock to dumb people. Spirit boxes. He’s laughing all the way, you know.” — Brady [24:12]
• On Spirit Box “Communications”:
  “Why would ghosts hang around the cemetery? … Get off my lawn is probably what they…” — Brady [31:11]
• On Reincarnation Claims:
  “It was a guy named Larry Krupke… a farmer… choked on soup... That was me.” — Brady [44:35]
• On Ghost Skepticism:
  “If I could have one thing I’ve done on the radio, it’s to convince everyone listening that ghosts aren’t real…” — John [49:52]

Key Timestamps for Major Segments

• Introduction & Arizona Life: [01:18–03:06]
• Phantom Time Paradox / Dark Ages Discussion: [04:44–14:31]
• Spirit Box & Haunted Doll Scams: [20:51–34:03]
• Spirit Box YouTube Ridicule (Kurt Cobain, Freddie Mercury, OJ): [34:36–49:10]
• Claims of Famous Past Lives & Reincarnation Jokes: [40:47–46:20]
• Closing Thoughts on Ghosts Not Existing: [49:52–50:11]

Tone & Style

• Sarcastic, skeptical, riff-heavy morning show atmosphere
• Quick-witted, off-the-cuff mockery of paranormal claims
• Playful but pointed skepticism, especially targeting Halloween credulousness

Overall:
A playful Halloween episode using history, pop culture, and paranormal “science” as comic fodder to lampoon human gullibility, with lively back-and-forth banter and plenty of quotable cynicism perfect for the holiday. If you missed the show, you missed an epic roast of historical revisionism and ghost-hunting grifts — but you didn’t miss any real spirit contact… unless you count OJ Simpson.