Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – 11-03-25 – MONDAY RECAP

Episode Theme: A wild, irreverent mix of Arizona morning musings, animal trivia (yes, especially a lot of slug anatomy), news off-beat and local, commentary on pop culture and sports, and the show’s trademark raucous banter. This episode is a classic forays into bizarre biology facts, odd news (escaped monkeys, missing Chihuahuas, public urination by a judge), and comedic reactions to wacky video clips, all delivered in the unfiltered style of John Holmberg and the crew.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Event Recaps, Gratitude, and Charitable Success

• Sit, Stay, Brunch for Lost Our Home Pet Rescue:
  • Holmberg starts off with praise for the fundraising event, surpassing $300,000 to keep the shelter going after a year plagued by disasters (AC breakdown, turf damage, microburst storm, plumbing issues).
  • Quote: “This is the year the building fought back.” – (Jody, rescue director, relayed by John Holmberg) [02:40]
  • Insight: The hosts show genuine warmth and involvement in local animal causes, sharing the behind-the-scenes struggles of nonprofits.
  • Timestamps: [01:56–03:36]

2. Observational Comedy: The Social Scene at Suns Games

• Discussion on "Whores" Walking the Arena:
  • Inspired by a listener email, Holmberg and crew riff on the dating dynamics at Phoenix Suns games, where women are “dressed to the nines” looking for rich men.
  • Quote: “We’re going to have to come up with a name like the Millionaire Walk or the Millionaire March… Just go to a Suns game and whore up. Somebody will set the hook and reel you in!” – John Holmberg [05:35]
  • Timestamps: [03:36–06:55]

3. Fun Facts & Bizarre Animal Biology: BANANA SLUGS

• Banana Slug Reproductive Facts:
  • Brady: “Banana slugs can have, uh, bigger junk—way bigger junk than humans. A banana slug is about 6 to 8 inches, and when it’s fully engorged, the junk is around 6 to 8 inches.” [10:19]
  • Group falls down a rabbit hole watching a nature documentary and weird YouTube/internet clips of slug mating.
    • Reactions to slug penises: “Holy smokes. It looks like soft serve ice cream. It’s huge!” – John Holmberg [16:34]
  • Banter veers into comparative anatomy (bats, ducks, pigs), then delighted/disturbed breakdowns of nature show audio.
  • Memorable Moment: “Is that the dork? It looks like soft serve ice cream. It’s huge.” – John Holmberg [16:34]
  • Timestamps: [10:18–17:12] (including the deep-dive into documentaries and odd noises)

4. US Friendliness Rankings

• Brady shares the top “friendliest states” list:
  • Hawaii is #1, Arizona makes top five. Crew makes fun of Massachusetts’ inclusion, riffing on gruff Boston greetings.
  • Quote: “Boston’s not friendly. Hey kid, that’s not a good greeting.” – John Holmberg [17:55]
  • Timestamps: [17:25–18:16]

5. Odd News Stories

A. Lost and Found Chihuahua

• Recap: Penny, a small dog missing for five years from Mississippi, found 520 miles away in Florida.
• Commentary on unlikely journeys and local demographics (“I don’t really… picture anyone in Mississippi having a Chihuahua. And I don’t picture any Mexicans going to Mississippi for a better life.” – John Holmberg [19:11])
• Timestamps: [18:27–20:02]

B. Man Steals a Power Tool…in His Pants

• Story: Indiana man tries to smuggle a Milwaukee router in his crotch, fails to convince police he planned to pay.
• Holmberg: “Most people stuff things they want in their pants and just continue shopping. ’I’ll pay for this later!’” [20:44]
• Timestamps: [20:02–21:10]

C. Mississippi Monkey Mayhem

• Mother Shoots Escaped Monkey:
  • Woman sees an “STD monkey” (from last week’s news) in her yard and shoots to protect her kids.
  • Quote: “If there’s a news alert of STD monkeys loose and I see a monkey in Mississippi, I’m pulling the trigger.” – John Holmberg [21:23]
  • Banter on possible diseases, mother’s reaction, and imagined 911 calls.
  • Timestamps: [21:10–22:33]

D. Arizona Judge Resigns After Public Urination

• Judge Christine Schaff Olson:
  • Found urinating drunk near courthouse, caught by police pulling up pants.
  • Brett: “Nasty broad.” [23:12]
  • Satirical chat about stress relief for judges, naming, and her resignation.
  • Timestamps: [22:42–23:40]

6. Pop Culture and Product Revivals

• Mr. Pibb Returns: Coca-Cola is bringing back original Mr. Pibb (with 30% more caffeine).

  • Holmberg: “So it will kill you.” [24:16], “Don’t seduce me with the ingredients of Mr. Pibb.” [24:29]
  • [23:57–24:34]

• Death of the Frozen Burrito Inventor (Duane Roberts):

  • Tribute with musings on frozen burritos, snack food inventors, and machine engineering.
  • “Somebody had to invent Little Debbie’s… man, this is spectacular.” – John Holmberg [27:44]
  • [24:34–28:09]

7. Viral Video & "Pretty Videos" Review Segment

• A series of escalatingly weird or wild videos:
  • Kid in Ninja Turtle costume hits a little girl with his Halloween bucket (cute!). [29:09]
  • “First class Pakistani train” – man defecates trackside, gets on train, nobody objects (“We’re better than this!” – John Holmberg [30:17]).
  • Bullfighting arena—crowd chaos, bull rampages, people injured.
  • Bizarre gym videos: woman peeing with a dumbbell in her butt (“Always wash the weights when you’re done using them!” – John Holmberg [39:16])
  • Party stunts: jump rope inserted in odd places at a pool party.
  • Security videos: flamethrower used to scare off would-be home intruder (“Don’t come back!” – [35:02]), concert chaos, stick fight.
• **Banter is gleefully immature, often explicit, with running jokes about American superiority, inventiveness, and “the unemployed” having too much time for party tricks.
• Timestamps: [29:01–39:16] (highlights change quickly between clips)

8. Closing Jokes: The Snack Cake Machine Paradox

• Discussion: The philosophical question: did the snack (Twinkie, cupcake, etc.) or the machine come first?
  • “Somebody had to invent a specific Twinkie machine. God damn it.” – John Holmberg [28:49]
  • Timestamps: [27:44–28:49]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Bitch, you’re sitting on money.” – Story relayed by John Holmberg from a former coworker about entrepreneurial, um, suggestions [03:05]
• “It’s a six-part series of that particular couple watching banana slugs mate.” – John Holmberg [15:00]
• “They’re Hermes. They can do everything they want.” – On slug hermaphrodites, John Holmberg [16:31]
• “Is that the dork? Holy smokes. It looks like soft serve. Ice cream. It’s huge.” – John Holmberg [16:34]
• “We are better than them. That’s disgusting.” – John Holmberg, comparing American and Pakistani public hygiene [30:17]
• “If there’s a news alert of STD monkeys loose... I’m pulling the trigger.” – John Holmberg [21:23]
• “Somebody had to invent Little Debbie’s. ... These are all inventions. Everything I’m looking at is an invention.” – John Holmberg [28:01]

Useful Timestamps by Segment

• [01:56–03:36] – Animal rescue charity recap
• [05:16–06:55] – Observations on Suns games & “Millionaire March”
• [10:18–17:12] – Banana slug trivia & video reaction
• [17:25–18:16] – Friendliest states banter
• [18:27–20:02] – Missing Chihuahua story
• [20:02–21:10] – Power tool theft
• [21:10–22:33] – Escaped monkey, Mississippi shooting
• [22:42–23:40] – Arizona judge urinates in public
• [23:57–24:34] – Mr. Pibb’s return
• [24:34–28:09] – Frozen burrito inventor, snack cake invention discussion
• [29:01–39:16] – Viral/Bizarre video review (“pretty videos”)
• [28:49–28:51] – Snack cake/Twinkie machine paradox

Tone & Style

• Originality: The episode, as always, is raw, irreverent, packed with ridiculous asides and a “boys club” energy. The tone is gleefully informal, with shock-jock humor, absurdity, and relentless riffing from all hosts. Any educational moments are usually delivered with a wink or double entendre.

Takeaway

If you missed the show, you missed a hilariously meandering celebration of the weird, the wacky, and the Arizona-local. Whether you came for sports, were fascinated (or horrified) by animal trivia, or stayed for the off-color video commentaries, this episode served up all of HMS's signature unpredictability — from banana slug anatomy and local charity tales, to monkeys on the loose and snack-food philosophical inquiries, with memorable one-liners at every turn.