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A
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's Brett Vesley from Homebridge. Morning sickness now. I've always been the kind of guy that takes care of my own lawn. That's until I found Divine Design Landscaping. These guys aren't your typical mow and blow landscaping company. They do amazing work and it's just what I needed to finally throw in the towel and let the experts take over. If you've been unhappy with your landscaping or sick of trying to do it yourself, well, it's time to get a hold of Divine Design Landscaping. These guys handle everything. Lawn care, irrigation, tree work, low volt vintage lighting, 3D designs. Get a free quote at DivineDesignLawnCare.com that's DivineDesignLawnCare.com Come on down to the Ranch House Grill.
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Comfort food is your next meal. Pork, chili verde, chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great. Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving Southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road.
A
Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?
C
Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into MMP Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.
A
Okay, but what if he lives out of state?
C
Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.
A
There you guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.
B
It's John Holmer here from my friends at New Vision Auto Glass. Six weeks and counting. My windshield is still perfect. Call New Vision Auto Glass and after about 15 minutes on the phone, you'll get everything you need. You can get up to $375 back. Visit new visionautoglass.com to see what you qualify for. Then you get that delicious free dinner from the world famous Brazilian steakhouse Rhodesio Grill now in Mesa and their new location in Scottsdale. There's no excuse for you not to have a good piece of glass on that car. I don't want to hear it. Pick up the phone and fix it. 480219090 New Vision Auto Glass, proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondbacks. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online@98kupd.com Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday November. It's 5:45. My name is John Holmberg. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett, there's big Dick Toledo. This is the morning sickness and we are off and running on a wonderful monopher Brady. So much victory Monday for everybody in the room except Brady and his Bengals who managed to make a mess out of that weird ass Bears Bengals game. But Brett got the win. Nice job. Toledo got his team just clobbering last night. Suns beat the spurs and like handled them. You had the Steelers winning. We're all happy. I mean if the Cardinals. Here's a little stat about tonight. Gamblers and Dale brought it up. Kyler Murray's never in his life lost in inside Dallas's stadium. High school, college or pros. So.
A
But he's not playing.
B
Yeah, still going. He'll still be in there. So he's never lost. If he's been in the room, he's never lost. So does it, does it extend to tonight?
C
Oh yeah.
B
I think so too. I think if he's on the sidelines, it's just him.
C
If he's dressed.
B
If he's dressed, we'll get into football a little bit. Let me be the spokesperson for all of us. Everybody gather round. Down on one knee if you don't mind. City Phoenix down on one knee real quick. Have a little talk. I don't know who I'm talking to. I don't know how to do this properly. But I'm going to tell you something. I'm speaking for everybody. This is the, this is a big one we can unite on. This is, this is like 9 11. If whoever hits the button for a turquoise alert does that again at 5:30 in the morning to look for a 4 foot 10 inch Pacific Islander ever again, I'm going to crawl through the phone. I'm going to find you. I'm going to kill you. On behalf of everybody. You do not on a Sunday morning. You do not wake people to look for People they don't know on a Sunday morning, you just don't do it right behind you. And you can't. I. I'm not getting paid for this. I'm not shooting out of bed five in the morning.
C
What did you think happened?
B
I thought someone was at my house banging in the. That's the only time I want that alert to go off is if they're like, hey John, somebody's breaking into your house. Do not wake me. For people I don't know being kidnapped, stolen, whatever. I'm sorry for this being a tragic thing, but that's why we have police, FBI, that's why we have. Don't bother me till 8 or 9 exactly. 8 or 9 o' clock early. Do not do that.
C
At 5 in the 5:23 it went off. I looked up, I'm like, oh, I just slept in for work. That's how much it threw me from. And Ronnie's like, no, it's Sunday.
B
No, I knew, I knew it was. I was aware of the day. I understand that completely because that makes tons of sense. I thought nukes were coming in at us. 4 foot 10 inch, 100 pound Samoan. The smallest Samoan of all time. No, I can't find that. They're the easiest ones to hide. Do not bother me or any of these people that are listening right now ever again. Dude, who hits the button to find people. And turquoise alert. Isn't that for Native Americans? It was also insulting because Samoans and Pacific Islanders aren't Native Americans. So you just lobbed them in there because they're kind of brown. It's also a racist thing. Five in the morning. You do not ask me to look for anybody. Don't ever again. Every person in the world. There are people with, you know, post traumatic stress disorder, heart issues, medical prayer. You can't have that alarm go. If that is a jarring noise, don't do it again. Apple or anyone else in charge of that. Those mother. Did they find the kid?
A
No, we're still looking. We're still looking.
B
So that didn't.
A
Waited a couple hours.
B
So it didn't even work.
C
No, I thought at least they could have just done it to Mesa and Gilbert because that probably has the heaviest population.
A
No, I live in Mesa, you're in Gilbert.
C
What do you get? Why are you asking the Mormon factor?
B
No, you get eight. Eight o' clock is the.
C
There's a lot of jet.
A
All right, then send it to LDS phones only. Do not send it to me.
B
Yeah, I'll go this far. If It's a nuke coming in. Don't wake me for that either. I'd rather be asleep through that. Why are you. I would rather just not wake up and have the noise get me. The hell was that? And then it's over. I do not want anyone to jar me awake at five in the morning ever again to do a job that we have people being paid to do. That would be like Larry calling me 10 years ago at 12:30 in the morning just as you know, just coming over to my house and just like banging on the door. John, wake up. Brett didn't show up for work. That's not my job. I am not a look for the Pacific Islander guy at all, let alone 5am on Sunday hours later. Yeah, I'll get up after.
C
A good chance you won't remember that earlier after you fall asleep again.
B
No one, no one woke up and said, oh good, that happened. It was the worst thing. It was a joke. You don't ever do it.
C
Go out there.
B
No, no one did. Not a soul looked at that and said, honey, wake up. We have to go look for this little girl. Nobody did. They just got mad and started. Probably a lot of people wishing that terrible things happened. I wish the dude who hits the button that starts those alerts was abducted and never found. I'm not looking for him ever again either.
A
You didn't grab your keys and jump right in the jeep and go looking or what?
B
No, no. The only thing. Look, if it was like that alert when I said you got to see this 900 pound Samoan on the loose running down the freeway and it's by my house maybe, but the smallest of all Pacific Islanders. 4 foot 10 inches, 100 pounds. That's a Samoan midget. I, I want to see it, but I'm not going to look for that. They're. She'll be like behind a bus bench and you won't see her. A giant Samoan maybe, but not at 5 in the morning. It was horrible. It says, isn't it racist to have color coded missing person alerts? You wouldn't send out a yellow alert if an Asian went missing. I think they would. I think that's what they do. A turquoise alert.
A
Wait till 8.
B
At least we've got a missing Samoan. So what? Said all of us. You made us hate the little girl for going missing that late at night. It says I never got an alert. What the hell? Maybe it was only alerts the whites because I'm native. Aiden. Yeah. You're not alerting them. Wait a minute. Turquoise alerts aren't hitting the native population. Aiden, I need more information. Oh, if the Indians didn't get it. Oh my God. This one says Kyle says, I was so pissed when that alarm went off, I started rooting for the kidnapper. Not going to lie, Kyle. Not going to lie. I thought the same thing. I wanted the kidnapper to go right over to. Who does that? What job is that? Where is that button? Where is the. I don't know because I'm going to go sock that guy right in the nose. Missing person at five in the morning on a Sunday? They'll still be missing at 8. Wake me, then say, dude, three hours ago we didn't want to say anything. There's some kid missing. I'm like, well, I saw the fugitive. Tommy Lee Jones knows the average foot speed of a man. Put a three hour window on that. We could get probably, we can get to California by then. Put everybody on it. Alert me for that nonsense. I almost killed somebody.
A
Josh wants to know if there's an A Jade alert for the Asians.
B
I almost spit my drink out. We go jade for Asians. We can't go yellow. I like jade free.
A
He's trying to be politically correct.
B
It's even better. This says, you know, you can turn those off. Can you? I didn't know that. I thought it.
A
Yeah, I found out yesterday and I turned everything off. I don't care if a nuclear bomb.
B
Yeah, I thought the emergency alerts kind of. You went over everything.
A
From what I read like, if it's a presidential thing, it'll go through no matter what. But if it's like what I read.
B
On the Internet, I'm like, how do I turn this off? And I said, you can't. Oh my God.
A
And then they get, of course you get the Tom. This is why Android users have auto sleep mode. It does the alerts shut off. Way to go, Apple.
B
Itards. Way to go. We are Itards. You're right.
A
No, because my wife's an app, an Android user and hers, she got hers too.
B
God damn it. God damn it. Yeah, this one said I wanted to give the chic that's going to buy that little girl some money. I didn't go that far. That's terrible. And it's terrible to do. Did they find her? That's her already found the story. I, I, I'm not, it's not there. I hope somebody finds her. The tragedy of it is terrible. But don't make, don't make me hate victims by waking me at 5 in the morning. I didn't know you could turn that off. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Well, that's a beautiful thing. This one said, I don't have my alerts off. I'm Native American and Mexican and I never got one. Oh, well, then I'm speaking for all the people who did. I thought those things because when I went on Google, I'm like, how the hell do I turn these off? I'm with you. Even if it was nukes, I do not care. Five in the morning on a Sunday, I do not care.
A
Pesci and Pacino are about the only ones. I'm on missing person alerts, and it.
B
Has to be close, man.
A
De Niro can wait. Yeah, I'm good.
B
Yeah. If Daenerys. I'm not around anymore. I'm lost. Turquoise alert. Oh, we have like a Ragu alert for this one. Says the only missing Samoas I'm worried about are when the Girl Scouts don't deliver mine. Andrew. Yeah, and I don't want an alert for that either. It was jarring. Yeah. I went on Google right after. I'm like, how do I shut that off? And it said on these super emergencies, it's, you can't do it. But maybe that was just presidential. Like, what does that. I look and I also, you know, here's the other thing. I didn't shut that alarm off because I'm a decent human being. If I'm awake in the daytime and there's something going on and that alarm goes off, I'm like, oh, if I can help, I will. But I didn't know they were going to abuse me while I slept. At reasonable times, I'm nine to five. Nine even on a Sunday. And nine's a little early. Nine to five. You can ask me to help the police and FBI to find some people that just got nabbed. But. But off hours, do it yourselves. That's enough. I'll keep my alarms on just in case, but nothing better than being like a grocery store in public place. One of those goes off on a monsoon or something and everybody's. Everybody's phones goes crazy, and all you hear is, God damn it.
A
Everybody trying to get the phone out of their pockets.
C
I feel a little lazy about the whole thing. And it went off 5:23. And then later that morning, you know, about an hour later or so, wake up. I don't look in. Into it. Anything.
B
Oh, no, no, no, Brady, it's.
C
You were.
B
You're not being paid for that.
C
What am I getting my Eyes open for again.
B
I just remember I got enough on my plate than to take on the job of the FBI for human trafficking at 5 on a Sunday.
C
I got Halloween to take that.
B
Yeah, you gotta take that. You got a big day, man. You've got a big day. I had a lot. I had a long week. A big weekend. I needed some sleep and come around on Sunday morning and it would have been nice to just roll right in and wake up with a care in the world. No alarms. It's a beautiful thing. I've been living a life of no alarms most of this year.
A
Beautiful thing.
B
And that thing just exploded me. This one said, john, did you hear? Or Brett, did you hear John's heavy hint? He said he wishes the person responsible for the missing persons button would then go missing themselves and maybe never be found. Never be found, he says, Brett. Never be found. Make that happen. Jonathan is right. That was brutal. All right, well, I'm gonna fix it, but I'm glad I could make it. I could be a spokesperson again. I'm not trained. I'm not. I have no training for people seeking. I'm, you know, I don't know how to look for stuff. I don't know what you expected me to do. I didn't even look out the window. And normally, like on the freeways and stuff, when they have an alert and say, this person's missing and here's the license, I'll look at the cars around me and I'm like, nothing. And then I'm done with it. Like most people, we pass it, we look. Is that a. What kind of. Oh, it's a Hyundai Elantra. No, not driving by any of those. Well, I did my part. I'm not. I didn't even peek. I didn't peek to see if she was laying in my yard. Nothing. I angrily went right back to sleep rooting for the bad guys. And I don't think that's the goal. Kevin says, have you ever been to a sports event? When that goes off, it actually is kind of cool. No, but that would be neat. I would like to like to go to a Suns game. And by the way, talk about missing persons out and about. I went to a Suns game last night with Larry McFeely. No way. I know, I know. He left the house, you guys.
C
Is he off this week to bring.
A
Devin Booker to his house?
B
Are you sure?
A
Were you at the arena?
B
I did, yeah. The Suns did have to agree to all move to Larry's place. No, Larry left the house, got dressed and Stuff and went downtown to hang out with me and a couple of guy, Anthony and Dr. Brink. And Anthony.
C
Was he shaking the whole time?
B
Larry was fine. He wasn't even like a scared wet puppy at all. No, he was everything. It was fine.
A
Do they have Midoriya in the Rah Rah?
B
Well, he didn't ask. He wasn't drinking. Well, his tummy hurts. We had a ginger ale. It was a little bit embarrassing, but still. We went to the Rah Rah room and Larry had a ginger Alex and said his tummy hurt and that's okay. He was out of the house. It was amazing. Might have been a little bit gayer order than the Midori. Say my tummy hurts. Can I have a ginger ale, Michael? Okay, that's. I guess that's all right.
A
Did he say tummy too?
B
He did. He. He said tummy. He. Wow. He said tummy out loud. Couldn't you say kind of cute? It was adorable. It was adorable. And me and Ryan, we.
C
We.
B
We looked at him. That's all right. That's not what adults do, but that's okay. You're out of the house. And I had to explain, you know, the sommelier, Ryan was like, is he really serious about ginger? Does he want some bitters in it? And I'm like, you're not his grandmother. Just make him the ginger ale. And you don't have to worry about his tum Tum after this.
C
But he had a ginger ale and oatmeal.
B
And then Anthony wanted to have dinner. So Anthony treated us to a dinner at the Rah Rah and Larry got a full experience there, even though the vibe was a little off because there was a recent dismissal and certain people thought it was their fault. Certain people didn't. So Larry was. Larry was privy to everybody being on there, being on their toes, that there's impossible culling down there.
A
Jonathan wants to know. He didn't know that the. The Rah rah room had PB&J on the menu.
B
Restless PB&J. Larry did get that PB&J. And it was good. It was fun. Getting Larry out of the house was shocking. And he told me as we left because Larry's always diligent about work. Don't forget the code words tomorrow. Bye, Larry. And there it is. Six o'. Clock. Monetary is the first code word for this morning for your app. Get on the app and put monetary in the six o' clock box and you got that thing together and you can be on your way to winning another thousand dollars. Which is as easy as it gets if you can just spell a word. Monetary. M, O, N, E, T, A, R, Y.
A
Maybe his daughter put out the turquoise alert because he wasn't home. I don't know.
B
That would have not surprised me. We're looking for a slight Jewish boy who, drinking a ginger yarmulke alert, goes.
A
Out and, you know.
B
Right. With his hand on his tum tum. Yeah, yeah. It was fun, though. Larry was great. We had a good time. And the spurs got clobbered last night by the Suns, which was unre. I got to hang out after the game a little bit with Phoenix son Royce o'. Neal. We got to, his girlfriend was standing directly next to me at the bar and I'm talking to my buddy and she said something and we started to talk about the game. She goes, well, I'm. I'm Royce's fiance. I'm like, how about that? And so we started to chat her up a little bit and see what's going on. And Royce o' Neal comes wandering in with some of the sons and we end up hanging with the boys after the game. Larry had already left when the Suns came in. Larry, the second Larry left and we're hanging out with the Suns. We've got, you know, everybody's having fun again. The vibe of firing was out of the room. It was, Larry was. Larry's like, boy, it's different than the way you normally express. I'm like, it is a little different. And I'm not gonna lie to you. It's kind of quiet in here tonight. Something happened and we had found out that earlier in the day there'd been a Halloween weekend. Yeah, there'd been a head lobbed off in the staff. So the staff was kind of on that. Oh, you know, when there's a firing.
C
What do we do?
B
You know, when there's a firing in your office and you're kind of like, ooh, it's a weird kind of day. It was that Holmer's morning sickness. It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about FanDuel. It's NBA tip off week and FanDuel is your home for live betting. FanDuel is giving new customers $300 in bonus bets if your first five dollar bet wins. So just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to sign up today and play your game with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA, 21 plus and present in Arizona. First online real money wager. Only five doll deposit required bonus issued is non withdrawable bonus bets which expires seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms@sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 533-42. All right, HMS podcast time again. It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week downtown at Stand Up Live, you've got Moshe Casher and the pride of Jacksonville, Florida, Lil Duvall. Performing Desert Ridge up north features the very funny Hans Kim and East side of the Tempe. Improv has two entertaining comedians with Alvin Kawhi and Bas Yousef. For the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridge improv.com and tempy improv.com Holg's Morning Sickness. And then as the night progressed, well, once Larry left, everybody started like, yay, it's okay. Everybody's gonna live. But it was fun. Got Larry out of the house. Has not happened in a long time. And I will say that I've been down there a million times, hung out, and Kevin Ray will come by and we'll all chat, chat about the game. It was a great game to talk about, plus, you know, football all day. So a lot of sports talk. But that's the first time that I've ever been there. And the Phoenix Suns hung out with me. And it was the second Larry left. And, like, you should stick around. Kevin Ray's gonna come down. We'll have. And he left. And then the next thing you know, you know Mark Williams and the crew standing there hanging out with us. And then at the end of it, Royce, like, you coming back Thursday? And I'm like, well, you have to. You're playing, right? He goes, yeah, just, you know, and his brother was there. He goes, keep an eye on my boy. Like, all right. So I'm like, I'm in the crew now. I've been Royce o' Neill's gang. Pretty awesome. Larry's not. Larry left. Larry left because it's tum tum. But, you know, the game is already over. And he was done. He got. He's got his lift. He's like, I'm gonna go. I'm like, no, stick around. The fun's just beginning. And not kidding, that door couldn't have hit Larry in the ass faster. And it's like, is he gone? And then confetti and people and just. It was great anyway, but I got him out of the house.
C
Must not have been in a waymo In a while.
B
Who, Larry? Yeah, he got into a lift. He did a lift, which maybe he might away mode home. But he lifted in because he wanted to get there fast. It was. It was very strange.
C
And for those loves those waymo.
B
Yeah, I love those waymos. But he had to hurry. I told him, because at like five, I'm like, game starts. So there's no waymo time from where you live to the. It'll take forever going surface streets. All in. So he lifted in. He got there on time. We had nice. It was nice. It's a lovely evening. But getting him out, it's fun. Speaking of lovely evening, what a weekend. It was great. Night of the Singing Dead on Friday night was absolutely a blast. We couldn't have had more fun. All the people, all the costumes. Some of my favorite things that happened on Night of the Singing Dead Friday was seeing the people in costume dressed as usual. And there were multiple Brett Vesely's, which a guy had shirts made. It was pretty great. Yeah, he looked. I looked at from the stages. I looked out at everybody. I would see that and I'm like, Brett stressed as a blues brother. When did he change back? And then I'm like, wait, that's a suicidal tendencies hat. Oh, yeah, the lopes.
A
He had every girlfriend was dressed as Katie Haas.
B
I know, it was fantastic. I met him afterwards and we were talking. It was awesome. And then I go in there. Another Katie Hobbs. Yeah, like there were a couple Katie version. Yeah, yeah. Well, geez, Brady, that was rude. I didn't know we were judging. Okay, okay. There was a she don't like me. Oh, no, no. There's a clear winner and loser in Brady's costume contest. We didn't know Brady was judging, but yeah, that was a few of those. It was fun. It was just a fun night all the way around.
A
Campaign stickers made with Katie plus Brett and. And ones for Matthiak. Katie, Brett's grandma with Katie Hobbs name on.
B
Yeah. It was costumes that made me laugh, but it was fun. It was a great time. Let me rewind.
C
I did not see the second.
B
All right. No, you don't have to. You made it. You made the mess.
C
Because I knew the first.
B
Don't make me put an alert out for your pride because you said it now you got to live with it.
A
How about the football jersey?
C
Realized.
B
Did you see football jerseys? Amazing. People had football jerseys printed up with. What was the guy that had mine on?
A
Juno's.
B
Juno's on the back of his jersey, which was.
A
We had Libtard.
B
Libtard for Toledo.
A
I had Dumb Broad for mine. I was like, I want that jersey.
B
I need that one. I liked all of them. I'll take Junos and wander around with that. People ask questions. It's a former Steeler great named Janase. That was great. The show went really well, and we had a blast doing it. And CB Live opened up just for us for that and. And just crushed. So it was so much fun. And we did a nice thing. And then. And the makeup, you can see all the pictures and videos. I'm sure we have them up. Was done by a girl named Annie Domi, and she's amazing, and she did a great job. And then I had to host on Saturday. At the end of the night, I had to sleep in that giant thing because it takes about three and a half hours to get all that off properly. And I'm like, I'm not. I'm tired.
C
Diving in.
B
I've got to get up and host this brunch tomorrow. And it hurts. Like, my face turned bright red. While you scrub it off. I'm still getting some off now. I just did it right there. I can roll the glue. It's still on my face. There's nothing you can do for, like, a few days of just washing and washing. I can't scrub anymore. It hurts really bad. So I did the. The Lost Her Home Pet Rescue Sit Stay brunch on Saturday. I hosted that with. With the makeup on. And it was. You know, it was Herbert from Hilarious Family Guy. And it. It was pretty great to see Herbert wander out. I got a call after the event from a guy named Bruce who had very nice things to say. Now, if you've seen me in the makeup, you know what I'm talking about. It. Go ahead and hit our Instagram and our Facebook and take a look at what I looked like, because this story will make more sense. Bruce calls me up. He's a donor. He's one of the board members, I believe. And he calls me, and he said he wanted to do something nice. He had really nice things to say. It was amazing call. And then he said, I have to be honest with you. He goes, when I first walked into the event, I saw you in the corner in the sound stage talking to Letitia, who is this amazing auctioneer lady. She's incredible. So I'm talking to Leticia, and I'm in the full makeup. And he said, I just stared because from a distance, I did not know you were in makeup. And he said, I'm not kidding when I tell you I said to the person next to me, there is no doubt in my life that that is the ugliest person I have ever seen. And he said, the guy next to him staring at what? That guy over there. I don't know how you leave the house. I don't know that I would if I looked like him. And they had a conversation about it because they were far enough away to see this thing was standing in the corner. And it's so realistic.
C
If you didn't say anything.
B
If I didn't. I was half. And I didn't want to wondered, is that a real human being? The makeup is so good. When I was walking around before the show on Friday, I took the walker out and just started to walk around Desert Ridge, and a security guard stopped me and he goes, eh, man, it's Jamaican. I know who you are. I'm like, do you do. I've seen you on tv. You have? Yeah. You're that guy that goes around dressed like an old man and makes fun of people. Like, no. Yeah, you're that jackass guy. And I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not Johnny Knoxville at all. It was great. It was a lot of fun. People didn't know. And even more fun was prior to getting the makeup on, I was driving to Target to buy a robe, and I. I accidentally. Myself in the car because I've been on prednisone for a week, and that makes you poop like a goose. And so I was. I thought I just let a little squeeze out of the left cheek, and it was a full chemical spill right there in my pants. And I only had a pair of gray sweatpants. Gray. It would have been perfect had I been in makeup. I wasn't. I was just me with a pantload of. And I had to figure out in the middle of a very busy day how to get. I was at Desert Ridge. I went to. I was going to the Target to buy a robe and slippers for the costume, and I dumped them midway through, and I'm like, I have. I can't go home. I don't have time. So I had to go over to the hotel across the way. I put a T shirt in the back of my pants and mopped up some of the gravy. Oh, God. Ran into there, checked in, got a room, and then showered up and then started to wash my pants in the sink. Well, they were light gray sweat shorts. They were ruined. Like, it looked like I Sat down and, you know, veal with a nice gravy on top. It was. And so I. And luckily, the makeup girl, Annie, calls, and she goes, hey, I gotta stop by Target real quick. Oh, my God. Thank God. Buy me this. Buy me this. But she got me short, so I covered. But I haven't done that in a while. My streak is over. It's only been three days since I last my pants, and then prior to that, it's been years. So I had one of those. I'll just let a little out. And then I sat there, and I'm like, you know how sometimes you do that and it's a bubble and you feel like, did I just. And then hope it's, Did I just. Am I sitting in my own. And then the boop happens. And you're like, nope, we're good. We're clear. I did the. Oh. And I kept waiting for the bubble to break. And I realized as I moved, it sloshed or something. It was, like, made a. Like, I squished it, like, temperature change. It was. Well, no, you know what was weird? It was cold, like, almost immediately, because I lift it up. Oh. And I sat back down, and I'm like, the bubble didn't break. And then. And then the air conditioner was on, and I'm like, it's getting cold. There's some liquid in there. And I didn't want to reach in and find out I was wrong. So I just kind of did that scooch thing and realized. Realized, yeah, John, you just. Your pants, and there's nothing you can do about it at this point. And you have a light barrier of sweatpant material and ass. That's it. That they were meeting. It was rough. It was a rough one. Then I had to somehow. Another. Yeah. In the car. And. Oh. And then because of the chaos of stuff in the T shirt in the back to cover up, I left my Jeep just running in the parking lot. And I go inside, and I'm clean up. I showered, I get everything washed. Annie shows up after she's shopping, and she goes, is your Jeep. The black Jeep out there? And I'm like, yeah. Why? She goes, it's running. I'm like, it is. She goes, yeah, you left it. I've been in it for, like, an hour and ten minutes now, just washing my ass. That's been on. Evidently, the whole. I'm like, I am a moron. They're off to a rough start on Friday, but it ended up being great. It's a great one. But A lot of fun. And then the turquoise alert happened Sunday morning, and I'm glad to be your spokesperson. A lot of people are screaming. He said, this one said, what did that family do? And I think. Isn't that Brett's old neighborhood for the girl that got missing was sort of close to you. Dobson and Broadway, Florida North.
A
Yeah, I was Dobson and Basin, Guadalupe.
C
But, yeah, close enough.
B
Yeah.
A
I don't live over there no more. Ain't my none of my business.
B
Kind of where you were now people go missing. Not there no more. Not there no more. I mean, I hope they find a kid, but that was just unacceptable. It says, you might want to give that guy a history lesson about Mexicans and Native Americans. No one told him about conquistadors, and that's how you became Mexicans. That used to be Native Americans. Weren't native to. Yeah, it's true. And I don't know what kind of color we have for that. And if that. I don't need a history lesson for every missing person that goes by. But if you go missing, just put missing person alert. Why do we have to have a color on it? Is it more important to find someone in the turquoise than it would. What's the one for me? Alabaster. Like, what is my color missing? White guy.
A
It's an IKEA alert.
B
Silver. Yeah. Do I get. Yeah. What is Swedish alert? Do we get a yellow and blue? Do we get a Stockholm syndrome alert? What is the Swedish alert?
A
An ABBA alert?
C
Yeah.
B
Yeah, that's it. That's it. Mamma mia. Someone's missing. They just. They shoot out an ABBA alert for Swedes when we go missing. Maybe. I don't know, but I boy wanted to punch every wall in the house when that happened. And you know what? I went right back to sleep. And I hate to say it. I've never heard of a missing kid before where I'm like, oh, that's tragic. But her. I'm tired, and I'm right back to sleep. A terrible, terrible human being for that. And we have to come up with that. I think that somebody needs to say it's racist. Is that on the ballot tomorrow is to get the racist color coding of missing people off?
C
It is now.
B
Yeah. Brady would have to be like, you'd be your borderline silver alert.
C
Oh, yeah.
B
You got to be pretty close to a silver because, I mean, medical issues. You got 55 up. I don't think it's down on. I think silvers are. I think it's dependent on age and Medical condition. I don't think 55 is a Silver Alert. I think that's AARP. You can get in there if you're 50, 70 up. I think you'd probably be. I think you'd be on the category. I don't know. I don't know really, but I think you're in that. You're in the Silver Taint. I don't know what would be to be less than a Silver Alert. Just missing person, and that's what it should be for everyone. I firmly believe that every missing person is equal. They're not a race. The only race they are is missing. And you do have to give me their description, but I don't care to have, like, you know, Maryvale alert. And I'm like, oh, I see. I know what I'm looking for here. Just say there's a missing person.
A
I'll never be over there.
B
And then I'm never going to look for them in Maryvale. But if they're missing from Maryvale, I'll keep my eyes open. Like, you shouldn't be here. What are you doing out of Maryvale? It's true.
A
That's a Maryvale alert. Do not go any past Central and nothing east of Central. Do not alert those people.
B
Every time I pass Central and I'm on Indian School and I get close to, like, 20th Avenue, my phone goes off and says, what are you doing? You're. Are you missing? Have you been abducted? Why are you going to Maryvale? My phone went off a hundred times when I golfed in Grand Canyon University. Like you realize where you are, John, this is out of. I. You know, I don't want to be on Friend Find or anything, but I know where you are and turn around. I'm supposed to be here. Phone. I'm going, no, no, no, you're in Maryvale. I'm sending out an alert. John's going, he's been kidnapped. Phone's sitting there calling me every once in a while. Do face id. Blink twice if you're okay. Yeah, it was a very strange one. So, yeah, it was a weird weekend, full of fun, frivolity. You know, the Halloween was great and I'll do it again next year, but nearly got ruined. And then when the Steelers won, I'm just. I'm just. Oh, and that World Series baseball game, to recap the whole thing, it's the greatest baseball game I've ever watched in my life. The thing almost ended four times. Bases loaded, bottom of the night, and the play at the plate was a hair The Blue Jays were a cleat away from being world champions. I mean, literally, the catcher's foot came off of home plate and tapped back down. It's like a tenth of a second before it almost ended on a review. And I swear to God, if the World Series would have ended on a review, I'd never watch baseball again because it was awfully darn close. But that was the best baseball game I have ever watched with that kind of consequence on it. And Tripp came to my house yesterday, and Dodger coat, or had that full, you know, the Dave Roberts jersey. His Dodger head, he was full on Super Dodger. And Dodger fans everywhere. No one likes you. But my God, congratulations, because that was fun to watch. But Dodger fence, you still. Deep down, people are smiling because the game was so good. We still hate you. We still hate Dodge.
C
He going to the parade today?
B
He should. I don't know if Trip's a parade guy unless it's for him. Yeah, unless he's, like, in it. I don't think Tripp's gonna. You know, Tripp had an opportunity years ago. He lived in Los Angeles running KROC to the stars. And he's like, you know, I was right there on the 405 when OJ went by. Like, really? And he goes, yeah. We were down the road, and, you know, everybody's talking about it. I'm like, he's coming up from Orange County. That's gonna be about another 20 minutes. We could go set up shop up. I'm like, did you go see O.J. and he goes, I'm not standing on the side of the road to watch a car go by. Like, why did you tell me the story then? Can you imagine? Because I could have, but I didn't.
A
Imagine Trip at the parade. I'm not hanging around a bunch of cholos around here.
B
This is the East LA section. Where is the Bel Air part of the. Oh, right. That's where the Dodgers will end up. And we'll all golf and have fun. That'll be better than a parade.
A
He'd have his one button on top of his jersey.
B
Buttons. Oh, delay, Holmes.
C
He stuck around the office that day making sure don't miss commercials.
B
Go Joyers. Yeah, the OJ Thing, he was like. It was right down the road. And he's like, well, we're gonna go watch O.J. go by. Like, you didn't do it? No, we saw the people on TV who were doing it, and we didn't want to hang out with them. They made me sick. So it was pretty. Yeah. So I don't think he's gonna go to the Dodgers parade unless his friend Dave Roberts calls and says, you want to ride in it. That would be pretty cool. It was a great weekend, awesome time. And now here we are. November Platio is just a few days away. We'll get to that in just a little bit. In the meantime, monetary is the word you want to put in the promo code this morning to start your day off. 6 o'. Clock. You got another 20 minutes for that one. Then we do it again at 7 o' clock and you might win a thousand bucks. It's just as easy as that. The money is sitting there and you can take it in the app. Go to our app and make that happen. Now let's get a Wake up song. Five at 5, 9, 800. Give it to us good and strong. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98 Kubt. It's John Holmberg here. For my friends at FanDuel, the greatest thing ever to hit sports since sports itself in the NFL. The Sundays are here. Now they're making it even better because this week FanDuel's bringing the bonus. That's right. Right, right. Now all customers can get 50 profit boosts on any NFL bet. However you play your game. FanDuel's got your back with something extra in your account. Visit fanduel.com kupd and download the app and get in on the action before kickoff from our friends at FanDuel. 21 plus in present in Arizona. Opt in required bonus issued as non withdrawable profit boost tokens. Restrictions applied including any token expiration and max wager amount. See terms@sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 533-42-to all right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com thank you very much Katie and the Hobbs. That is miles to nowhere. For another few weeks. They are going to be our theme song and then we go playo 2026. It's going to happen the week of Thanksgiving, the Monday and Tuesday of Thanksgiving. And I think I don't Know we're ready. You can submit your. Oh, man. Where. Where do you put it on the website? You can go to 98kupd.com if you want to be in Playdio this year. It usually books up pretty damn fast. And the winners get all the attention. Like Miles to Nowhere got all year long, they wrote, and Miles to Nowhere can win again. That's happened before. It could happen.
D
There were some that tried to jump the gun last week and over the weekend.
B
Yeah.
D
Opens today, 6am today.
A
Today's the day.
B
So you still have your Katie Hobbs sticker on your shirt.
C
Yay.
B
All right. Nice job. Big fan. Nice work. Yeah. So get on that Platio is right around the corner. My Halloween, my. Like I said last week, my Christmas decorations are the front yard. The guys put everything in there, so it's all ready to be lit up. And we're only three weeks away, if you think about it, from lighting up for Christmas. It's hard to believe, but here it sits upon us with all that. I also, my. My neighbors Michael and Troy, my gay neighbors, went to night of the singing. Dad, they get to go. And that was pretty fun. And they're great people and did the Halloween thing. And then the next day, they went to the. To the sits Day lunch with us. The Lost Our Home charity event. And Michael drove and Michael drove with Troy in the passenger seat. And it made me wish I was gay again. Because what you don't understand is it's just two dudes, right? We all have the stereotypes of gay couples being white us. And they're not. We're driving down Lincoln, and a dude in a truck is in the middle lane, and he's kind of wobbling a little bit, and he's getting in the way. And it looks like he's coming into our lane a little bit. And Michael screams at the top of his lungs, get the out of the way. And then he honks. Now, normally in this situation, I would hear Megan from the passenger seat. You would hear Ronnie, you would hear Mathias. You're gonna get us killed. Stop it. What are you doing? Troy goes, yeah, mother. Get out of the way. The both of them were on the exact same. There was no nagging from the passenger seat. What does Troy then say to Michael? Gun. It hits the gas in his car, which has a massive engine in it. And we just go flying. Make a crazy left. Get around this guy. And I'm like, this is how it's supposed to be. I would have been. Somebody would have been crying had this happened. This Is the most amazing men are. They're still men and they're in the front seat being men. They weren't afraid of road rage. They weren't afraid of it. There were two of them. They weren't afraid of any. You're gonna get a shot. I don't wanna die is all we hear. You're driving like a maniac. Michael was going down Lincoln at a speed limit's like 40. He's going about 75 miles an hour, just blazing, and it's riddled with cameras. And not a single peep from the passenger seat from his gay husband. Troy, who seemed totally great, was flying down the road. And I'm like, this is how it's supposed to be. The driver's supposed to get support from the passenger. Not constantly told how bad they're doing. And it made me realize that if on any occasion Michael was too drunk to drive and Troy took the wheel, the exact same style of driving would happen going back. It wouldn't be a 30 mile an hour turn signal festival of stopping at yellow lights and good Christ, ladies, this is how. Ride with gays. Ride with gays. It's my new program. Ladies need to take rides with gay couples and realize that these gentlemen are exactly what we want. If it wasn't for the filth and disgust of being a homosexual, I would absolutely climb on board. It was amazing. They were ready to fight together anyone that got in their way on the road. Oh, tear to my eye, Brett. Tear to my eye. And I thought to myself, it would be just like if Brett and I were riding down the road and something happened. And I know Brett would be in the pasture saying, going, what's this smoke doing? Like, I don't know. We took. Gun it. Take him down. We get right, we're to take him down. You watch out for that. Just turn left and get up. Get away from him. You don't know how you. You're gonna get us killed. Nag, nag. You're going too fast. Magnag. Why do you. You're gonna. Oh, the light was yellow when you sped up. Nag, nag. Troy was encouraging them to run stop signs and is the greatest navigator of all time. We don't have that. We just don't have that.
A
You guys are following them over there, huh? Your guys are following him over the back seat.
B
Oh, okay. Loving every second of it. I've never heard it. I've never heard it in a heterosexual couple. I've never been in the backseat of a car when a heterosexual couple and the dude acts up driving. She. There's no. No. She's just gonna tell him he stinks the whole way the whole time. She's gonna tell him. You're not. You're gonna get us killed. Nobody wants to hear that. But those two. And I just said it out loud when the incident was over. I'm like, that's how it's supposed to be. That's how. That's what love looks like. That's what love. Love looks like that.
C
They'll go down together.
B
They'll go down to get. Literally, and probably did later that day without end. Oh, here's another thing that happened that this makes you want to be. Listen to this one. All gussied up and ready to go to the big brunch. We go by. We get out of the neighborhood, and you have to go by Granada Park. And at Granada park, there is. This is a fairly spectacular site. On the weekends, sometimes there are people who oil up and do this kettlebell routine together. There's four of them, and they're the most spectacular physical human beings that you'll ever see. And the work they're doing is amazing. There's a girl and I think three dudes. Michael and Troy again. Michael driving. Troy, passenger seat. Megan I in the back. I'm marveling at what's going on in the front seat as the true embodiment of what a loving relationship looks like. And then I picture the after effects. I'm like, oh, it's just too much. It's too much hair, too much poop. We go by Granada park, and Troy goes, whoa, look at that. And it's just built. Dudes working a kettlebell now. I saw the girl that was with them. Them. And I'm not allowed to say, whoa, look at that. I gotta be careful. I gotta. I can't be. Look at the. Megan, look at that on that one. Troy says it, and Michael goes, oh, yes. We pass it. And Michael turns his car around so we could go by a couple more times and eyeball the hot dudes and the girl working out. Try that with your wife. Try that one. You see a group of hot chicks just working out in the side in the. Try spinning her. I'm gonna turn around and take a look at that again. And the two of them were like, yeah, this is awesome. And I'm like, you're allowed to do that? Oh, yeah. Why wouldn't we? You guys are. Because you're both interested in the same things. This is the most amazing love I've ever seen in My life. Try that with your wife later today. See a hot girl and do a U turn to go drive by her a couple more times. See how it goes. Cause Troy and Michael both got hard and I think gave each other old fashions on the drive over to the thing just for having seen the same kind of hot Stu.
D
Can't be done.
B
Can't be done. Try today with Ron.
C
Megan was silent the whole time.
B
Well, she laughed, but I looked at her. I'm like, this is how it's supposed to be. If I see a girl in a bikini that's amazing, like these dudes were, I'm not allowed to go. I'm going to drive by that a few more times. I'm in huge trouble. Every. Every one of us be like, why are you doing that? Didn't you see her? That was a piece of amazing. They high fived and drove by the hot dudes, like several times and realized they have the same interests. They both find the same things beautiful. If Brett is driving with Mathia and there's a gorgeous girl working out, oiled up with three other gorgeous girls, and they're on the side of the road in the grass doing kettlebells, Brett cannot pull the car over to stairs here. Can't do it. Brett and Matthias, pretty reasonable. Cannot be done. Ladies, you got to be cool. Like the gays. Let us have those moments. And I'd like, I'd allow it.
A
But it's creeper, too. If we turned around and we're sitting there driving back and forth twice looking at some broad.
B
If you and I were in a car.
A
That's what I'm saying.
B
No, it wouldn't be. If there were hot girls oiled up on the side of the road working out, you and I would turn around and drive by a couple.
A
Oh, no, absolutely. But I'm saying, I mean, it's only.
B
Creeper if your wife wouldn't be creeper.
A
Like, you know, calling the cops or something. But two gay dudes looking at another dude, that's okay. They get to pass on that.
B
But two dudes in a car looking at hot girls doing the exact same thing, Totally fine.
A
I think it's different.
B
Dude and his wife. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
No, no.
B
Can't happen. Never seen anything like it. It's marvelous. It was marvelous. Try it today. Brady tried. Even with Kirby.
C
I wouldn't dare.
B
You wouldn't even think about you. I didn't either. I didn't either. Wouldn't even think about it. I mean, it was an agreement. That was Unspoken that Michael was going to slow the car down and turn around and we're going to go back and look again and then take it all the way down and drive around. Go ahead. They got three looks. Have you ever tried it when a girl at your restaurant that's hot walks by your table and your eyes move. I saw that. Oh, sorry. I don't think I had something. She. She was drooling. Her. She had. I think she's retarded. You have to lie. Oh, that ugly girl that walked by. I don't know what you're talking about. I saw that she was pretty. I know. Can I follow her around for a little bit like Michael and Troy would do? Ugh, you're gross. Like, yeah, Michael and Troy are right. Telling you, man, they're onto something. If you could just eliminate the hair and the. All the that comes with it. It's better. It's a better world. It's more open. It's more honest. Men and women, heterosexuals always talking about how they just want honesty from each other. I saw it. I witnessed it. I witnessed what honesty looks like in a relationship. Like the fullest. I find that person wildly attractive. I'm going to drive the car by and look again and I'm going to I everybody in the park. And they did it and they celebrated it. And Megan thought it was hysterical. I'm like, if I did that, nothing but trouble in this car. Well, that's because you're a pervert. What the hell? How did. They're the per. Do you know the perversion that goes on in their house? Not even close to what they are. As far as perverts go, it's just me and who I am. You're taking away things I want to do. Just drive by and stalk good looking people at the park every once in a while. Just get a couple of extra peeps in. If you want to drive around and look at hot girls, you can do it by yourself. No, it's more fun with somebody else. So, Brett, you and I will have to do it later today.
A
All right.
B
Go to by the park.
C
Sunday, kettlebell. Saturday.
B
Sunday. But it was Saturday. They're out there every other weekend. It's an amazing thing. I walked the dogs there once and I just stopped and stared at that. They have this. It's almost Cirque du Soleil. They're flipping the bells around to each other and they're. It's amazing. And the workouts looks outrageous. And the girl that's there is an incredible condition. But the Dudes are all oiled up and ready to go. Pretty outstanding.
A
Is that the same day as Jew baseball too?
B
Jew baseball happened Saturday afternoon. This was earlier in the day. This was like 10:30, 11. Jew baseball starts about 1.
A
And I've been out there in that wool at 1.
B
Dude. It was a hot Jew baseball day. And I know that they played Hasidic Jew baseball this weekend because the World Series had everybody all amped up for baseball. Hasidic Jew baseball is the greatest. Granada Park Saturdays.
C
Any cricket still at all on the.
B
Huh?
C
There used to be a cricket game.
B
I've not seen a cricket game at Granada park, but I've seen Jew baseball. Jew baseball in the full gear is just a spectacular that you can't help but turn around and look at. You can be late for something and go, did I just see what I think I saw? Is that a bunch of Hasidic Jews playing baseball? Sure enough. All of them in the wool, in the white shirts. The wool, the hats. It's amazing. But I was pretty. I was. I was taken aback by the whole. Gay behavior doesn't happen for us. Could you imagine trying that? Did you see that Messiah? What? Incredibly hot chick. I'm going to turn around and look at her again. I mean, what happens to you? Do you get punched? Do you. You're not getting any. Nothing's gonna happen for you, Matthias.
A
Usually pretty casual, but I wouldn't flip.
B
The car back around.
A
No, no, no. But.
B
Oh, the casual thing is, yeah, she's.
A
Like, oh, yeah, she does have a great ass.
B
I got all that too.
C
But try.
B
Try driving by a second time. Try getting out of your seat when somebody good looking goes by and going, whoa, it can't happen. The gays are doing it all day.
A
Crandall just said, if you ever get caught doing that, just tell the wife life that when the hot one walks by, that. That outfit would look so much better on you.
B
Oh, that's nice. Yeah. See, we have to come up with lies. We have to lie to them to make them feel like we weren't crazy. Those gays, I tell you, they're up to something and it ain't so bad. I know Brady thinks what I'm talking about right now is wildly against God.
C
And it is.
B
Might be a better way.
C
I know what would happen if I circle back around. What would happen just out of the option. You just. You're not. You don't do it.
B
You don't do it. But you want to. Deep down, you would love to take a second look and Have a nice.
C
Discussion with your wife.
B
Yeah, but that. Yeah, right. And then like look at the, look at the on her. My God, she's so young. Oh, you can't win this fight. You're done. Michael and Troy basically wanted to get out of the car and go over there together. Just watch. And then what do they do? They get back in the car. Hand jobs. Because we're both all riled up. Fantastic work, gays. Excellent job with that one. Then you just realize it's just a couple of dudes being dudes deep down. Until they do that God abomination thing that Brady talks about. Just the nightmare that ensues afterwards, which is just. Yeah, you're not going to win that ever her. It's terrifying. I was all for it. I couldn't. I couldn't get over how much says so John now. No gays would want you knowing you can't control your bowels. Hahaha. Yeah, very funny, Jesse. Although when I did tell the gays, that story didn't bat an eye. They're used to it, you know, sometimes leaks out of them and they're fine with it in the worst possible moments. Just where it lives. So you can expect a few mistakes.
C
Takes when plowing.
B
Yeah, yeah, when you're plowing. I mean you can't metamucil every day. You brought your gut after you go.
C
By a group of kettlebell.
B
Oh, forget it. Yeah, you might not have had your metamucil.
C
I'm not prepped.
B
Yeah, I'm not care but I'm going in. I know that's where lives but I'm. I don't mind it today. Good stuff. Proud of them. The seven o' clock word is air. H E I R as in air or heiress. But we're just doing air. H E I R is the 7 o' clock code word. You can get on board that thing, go crazy winning a thousand bucks from us as we buy your love. Kyle says, I sat next to Troy and Michael Friday night at the show and I got to tell you, I've never wanted to be gay more in my life. I almost started checking out other dudes with them the whole time. All they did was look at asses and talk about him. Just an aside. Michael can drink. He's the swallower. Oh, Michael can drink all right. Yeah, they sit together and talk about hot dudes that they see in there. There was a guy last year who had a. His costume was a. It was UPS guy, but he had his penis in a box like he was Delivering a. It was dick in a box and ups. It was a good combination. And they fell in love with him together. And they were like, it's. Is he gonna be there tonight? I'm like, well, maybe. I don't know. I think he's ours. Like, you think he can make the conversion? Oh, yes. He was really interested last year. I'm like, two of you talking about, this is exciting. I hope this happens. And you get in the car and like, he didn't show up. But there was a kid named Jason there. Wow. And they both loved Jason equally. Neither of them were slapping each other, going, we quit talking about how hot that guy was. What about me? Confidence was soaring. Just wanted another B hole in the room. That's all. I couldn't do it. I was born this way. But God damn it, if they don't have a better plan. Try it. Try it today. Take Matthia to lunch today and just go, this waitress is hot. I think. I think I'd probably that. Because that's what they say to each other. Oh, my God, Troy. I still want to. That guy in the Jason mask. And then Troy's like, me too. Try that with Ronnie today. This waitress is hot as Ronnie got a heart on and I want to use it. Why are you doing this? Because I want to wait. Don't you think she's. I gave it. Yeah. Toledo comes in with a sign says, word adverse morning sickness 98. Can you please?
D
It's Dick Toledo from the morning sickness. For our new friends at underdog, and with the NBA season now underway, Underdog is the best place to get in on all the action. Because playing on Underdog is easy. Just pick whether your favorite player or players will go higher or lower on stats like points, assists, rebounds, steals, and more. Get your picks right and you can win up to 5,000 times your cash. Just download the app today and use the promo code HMS to score $100 in bonus funds or bonus entries when you play your first $5. That's promo code HMS. Underdog make picks win money must be 18 plus, 19 plus in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 plus in Colorado for some games, 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia. And present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms. Underscore. Dfs underscore.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org in New York. Call the 247 Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text to 467-369.
B
Why choose a sleep number? Smart bed.
C
Can I make my site softer?
B
Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler? Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side. Your sleep number setting. Enjoy personalized comfort for better sleep night after night. And now max out your savings. The more you buy, the more you save on beds, bases and more. Plus, get free home delivery on any smart bed with bass, limited time. Check it out at a sleep number store near you or@sleep number.com today. Homburg's morning sickness. Everybody's all distracted. You seem uncomfortable with my conversation, Brady.
C
No, I don't. I just know that challenge. She might go, oh, I go for it.
B
She might tell you. What if that's what they did and we've just been on our. Like, they're like, yeah, I think she's.
C
Well, I'm just saying, for me in particular, maybe like, oh, it's guaranteed he'll get shut down.
B
Oh, so she's playing.
C
Playing the fanduel bets.
B
Call that bless.
C
Go for it. All right.
B
Try that later today. Take Ronnie out today, find somebody in the restaurant and go. You think I still got it? What are you talking about? If I wandered over to that girl right now, what do you think my odds are? I'd score and see how little confidence she has in the one she's chosen? I've been able to pick up a chick. What do you think she would laugh.
C
I'll take that bet. Hang on. Let me call 10 of my friends, see if they want to get in on this.
B
You think that she has no confidence that you could still. That you can still go fishing?
C
No, I think.
B
Yeah. You're not sure?
C
I. I mean, I.
B
She's not. She doesn't think you. She's not even worried. Worried that you. That you'd be out there fishing?
C
Yeah, she's probably not worried I'm out there fishing.
B
No, but I mean that you can fish like you're pulling. You're rotten. Real or useless? Like, she's like, yeah, good. Go lay on top of them and let them know what a misery I go through. I'll show you. Then you have to go slink back to the table. Later when she was right, you were right. She said she was gonna call the cops. So, John, you were in the new rideshare Gay Mo program. I tell you what, if it's a gay couple driving around. You're gonna get there faster and there's gonna be no complaining. And there's a little bit of high fiving. It's sort of super gay. Fast and furious. They drive fast, they're excited about making noise.
C
And only one stop.
B
Yeah, Try using the horn with your wife.
C
The gaze.
B
Oh, use your horn with your wife. Stop it.
A
Oh, I do all the time.
B
I'm always. You're on the horn. See, I'm not a horn guy. Cause I don't like getting yelled at.
A
Nah, I don't care.
B
You're gonna get a shot. You're with his. Oh, total parent. You see the news the other night somebody honked and the guy shot him. You can't. You're gonna be road rage. I'm like, no, no. Gays weren't afraid of any road rage. I think Troy started dig around in the glove box for his gun. I think we were gonna be the ones that killed someone. Catch up to that mother. I'm gonna shoot him in the face. Make these gays mean business. No nagging, no nothing. It says, well, super case. Super case of the Monday. Since you just solved all marriage issues and put all those couples counselors out of a job. It's true. Give it a try. Ride with gaze and then look at your wife and go, huh? Should be more like them. So what you really want is me to be quiet when you gawk at other women? Yeah, precisely. That's what I want.
C
Really?
B
What if I do it to other men? Okay, I know you do. I'm not good looking. I hope you look for good looking. I hope this wasn't your end goal, like, visually, like you stopped finding other people attractive after me. You're insane. Go get your eyes checked. There's no way Ron isn't looking at other guys. You can't be the pinnacle of physical beauty to her. To where she stopped noticing. Come on.
C
It's a rare thing. I am.
B
No, you're not. No, you can. No, you're not. I would find it refreshing if you're driving around in the car and the wife says, whoa, did you see that? And turns around and there's just a bunch of dudes oiled up doing kettlebell workouts. I'm like, good on you. Still a little. The pilot light is still lit down there. Good. Because it is just not lit for you that much after a few years of marriage.
C
That's why it doesn't go over as well.
A
What?
B
For you.
C
I mean that. No, it's a Pilot light's not lit. In other words, there's not much going on between the relationship, but then the other person is just looking.
B
Well, if it's. If it's relationship, pilot life, yeah, that's one thing. If it's hers and she shut her down for you, but then she's like, man, look, I'm excited for that. I think that's great.
C
But I think it's tougher for guys on that to say, watch.
B
I love that. I got no problem with it. It makes me. It makes me know you're alive.
C
I don't think that's the majority.
B
Makes me know you're alive.
C
Where you're kind of wired.
B
I saw it with the gays.
C
I can look. You can't.
B
No, I saw it with the gays. It got them excited for each other to see Hawkins things. It's great stuff.
C
Was impressive.
B
Loved it. Every second air is the word. H is the word for seven o'. Clock. You win $1,000. Try to be more impressive to the ladies. Do all that kind of stuff. I don't know when the Sun's games all turned into the Phoenix Open, but you should get yourself down there for a game this year.
C
It's.
B
You want to talk about putting on a show. The display is unbelievable, men and women. It's got to be three hours just to get ready to go to this. You're getting ready longer than this game lasts. People are decking out for very average basketball. The Suns are not a great team, but, you know, starting to get like. You're not in T shirt and jeans much anymore. These are like people in, like, designer clothes. And I don't know when that happened to sports because it doesn't. Diamondbacks don't have that. That Cardinals don't have that. Suns do. And I don't know what happened there, but basketball has become a fashion show and it's kind of strange. I don't know why that's happening, but it is a thing. It's a look at me party. Especially down close. I don't think anybody who sits down close just goes dressed like. I go. If you're on the floor, something's going on. Like. Like, I think everybody thinks they're going to have a Pamela Anderson moment, that the cameras, they're going to get discovered. I think there's a huge I'm going to get discovered moment because it's. It's just flat weird. Like you can't go through and not see people. Like, where are they going after this? There has to be A gala after the game to be dressed like this to watch the spurs and Sons play. Either that or I think because there is no barrier between the players and the fans in basketball, you're like literally sitting on the playing field that I think some of them think that the players will notice and marry them, which is really, I think most women's dream is to have it all just kind of picked up by something like they know where the millionaires are. I've seen the Phoenix Open. It's essentially the same thing as turning around and looking at other dudes. They go through the Phoenix Open, they put on an incredible effort. And I think it's just to maybe in case, catch one of the millionaire's eye. And then like, it's not a lottery.
C
They still have a choice of 500,000 men. Yeah, but it's the driving off in their Honda.
B
It's. Yeah, it's the lottery. It's more of a. I'm gonna use this thing as currency today and I'm gonna see if I can cash in so I don't have to work anymore. And I think that's what Suns games have become because the players are all on the court, they're all millionaires and you are within like feet of them without a wall or anything like that. I think that's what's going on. I think that there's a. And plus the seats down low are super expensive. So if you don't land a player, you might get one of those rich dudes that's hanging out down there. But it's very strange what's going on now. It is.
C
They stepped up that club a little bit, didn't they?
B
The Annexus Club and the Rara Room and the Mick clubs and all the clubs down there. Yeah, it stepped up and it is husband hunting. It's weird. And tip of the cap, because I would use mine for currency too if I was a woman. I'm not going to go 100%. I'm not going to go humping some job every day and stressing out. If you're a good looking lady, you can. Somebody will pay for your life. That's a good move. And that's my theory. If you're really hot and you're working hard, you've got herpes because nobody will pick. It's, it's, it's got to be the case. No, I've always used this example. Whenever they open a a Twin Peaks, go to the opening, go to the first two weeks of a Twin A Hooters used to be this way. Any place that opens and it's like, hey, we got a new Twin Peak. Go to it the first two weeks. You've never seen more beautiful people.
A
Strip club's the same way.
B
Same. Wait a month, go back. None of the good ones are there anymore. The C team's still there. But the hot ones that were there the first weekend to kick it off realized somewhere along the way, this is a lot of work and I'm beautiful. I don't have to do this. And they won't get frazzled. Then you get the ones who kind of. They got a kid, they can still pile into a pair of Daisy Dukes, but you don't want to see it out of there. The cans that used, they stay on the schedule. Oh, they're safe. They stay well. They're going to be the hardest workers.
C
Yeah.
B
But if you ever see a really hot one at the Twin Peaks, and I mean like a really hot one and she stays for a long time. Herpes.
A
She's got the bumps.
B
She's got the bumps. Like, there's no reason for her to work that hard. There's no reason for a girl that hard, three or four kids to work that hard. Yeah, those are STDs as well. Yeah. She's loaded with something that makes it so nobody will take her away and sweep her off her feet. It's a thing. If I see a great looking lady working too hard, first off, I admire it. Hard work is admirable. But if I see or like I see work, that's something. But like really grinding it. Like, oh, those herpes are really flared up right now because she is, she is putting in the effort and it's sad. It's sad to me. Sad to see a beautiful woman working that hard. I don't like it. I, like most men like to see a woman somewhere between like a scale of 1 to 10. Like I see like the highest I want to see working is a stick. I want to see him working real hard. She's earning it. She's proven she's an earner. Getting it done. Really smoking hot ones at a Twin Peaks. Oof. Man, that son of a bitch that did that to you should be in jail. Wrecked it for all billionaires. You were on a path, lady. I always worry it's the same as my bus stop theory. See a great looking girl at the bus stop. She has exhausted all options on rides. She can't find even a dude at her work to flirt with that'll come pick her up. She's taken the city bus. That thing down south is a tattered mess. It looks like a joke cigar blew up in there. It's terrifying. Covered in diseases, she's got them all. And more than likely she's 26 and she's got a nine year old. She got herself back in shape, but she's still got to take the bus because that guy in high school wrecked it. My theories hold true, Brett. It's a fact. Now let's take this show turnaround and look at those chicks again. And they think we don't do that together. Like if you and I were driving down the road, I'm like, did you see that? No. What? It doesn't matter what road we're on. I'm u turning right and I'm breaking all the laws just to go back so Brett can get an eyeful today too.
A
I appreciate that.
B
I know. Cuz we're men.
A
Yes.
B
Try that with your wife. Not going to go over well. Oh, he always stops the car and drives by the hot girls a second time. You're getting killed. You're getting killed. Why don't you just go have sex with that girl at the park? Oh yeah, I forgot. Was gonna you were going to use it as retaliation.
A
A lot less annoying than this conversation.
B
Yeah, exactly. Maybe I'll try it.
A
Bumps or not. Jesus.
B
I was at dinner once with a couple and the waitress came over and you know, waitresses are nice. They're supposed to be. They paid to do. They're getting paid to be nice to you. So me and my friend are kind of joking around and we're being fun. The waitress is laughing and I noticed that my friend's wife was not happy at all. And so the dinner's going on and everything seems fine, and then she finally turns and she goes, goes, I think we should get a new server. You know, server's not good. No, I'm tired of her trying to my husband. And I'm like, what's going on? That came out of nowhere. And she goes, every time we go out, he tries to be Mr. Fun and the waitress tries to him. I'm like, no, no, no. That's what waitresses are designed to, like, be fun back. She's not doing that. She's look, she's at the other table laughing too. I know what it looks like when a woman wants to my husband like, oh geez, just eat your salad and shut up. Got weird.
C
Why? He doesn't have fun with me.
B
Got weird fast. Now four dudes at the table. It just Progresses to more fun. We all know you're not supposed to the help. That's weird. God damn gays ruin my weekend Having parties again. Yeah, the gays ruined my weekend again. God, why did you curse me with all this heterosexuality? Arg. I think it was Bill Burr that did that. Broke down the divorce rates. The lowest divorce rate in the divorce spectrum. Gay men, second lowest. Heterosexual couples, highest divorce rate by far. Lesbian marriages. Why? There's two women involved.
A
Too broad.
B
You can't do that. It's terrifying. God damn it. Being straight stinks. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?
A
All right, Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And well, you and I are going to be out there this Saturday for the big. Trying to kick off the season, basically getting you guys some great deals on some bikes. Smoking deals on bikes. As a matter of fact, Josh got all kinds of giveaways going on as well as they're doing a poker ride and everything else out there at the Haas trailhead. And of course it's gonna be at the brand new location right there at power Road. And McDowell will be there from 11 to 1, but the shindig starts at like 8:30 in the morning. And he'll have lunch and drinks and everything else.
B
Poker run, they're doing all that. And plus Josh is getting rid of all the bike. He's got a whole new shipment of next. I didn't know. I didn't even know bikes did that. Oh yeah. A new ship, like cars of new bikes, they gotta unload the 25s. Yeah. And so he's going to have great prices. This is a great time to get in on this and buy that stuff. So. And plus, yeah, you got your. The other stores got its winter gear starting up, so the Action Ride Shop's got you covered now.
A
And you can ride them too. Like you can try before you buy demo, you know. So that's a Action Ride Shop. This Saturday, the list. Mega death, 6am, mud vein, avenge, Sevenfold, Airborne, Metallica Ministry, Jane's Addiction, Offspring, Motley Crew, Godsmack, gnr, Butthole Surfers. Who was in my room last night for Michael and Troy from the conversation from the show.
B
Apparently not doing Butthole Surfers. It would be fun. And I have seen it. I've been at their pool parties and one of the dudes brought in a young twink. He was Asian guy and he left. And when he left to go get something, it wasn't going away for good. He left to go like CVS and Grab the, like, floaties or something. I don't know. He couldn't swim. I'm not sure. But he came. While he was gone, all the gays were gathered up on who was.
C
Who was mine.
B
Yeah, it was a lot of that. But they all agreed he was everybody's. It was just, who's going first? I'm like. And I don't know that it ever happened. It was just. The conversation was, you know, no way. This is my house. That's mine first. And they're like, not over. Over my dead body. And then they started joking. Okay. I don't think they actually do it, but you're allowed to talk about it.
A
We should play seek and destroy then for that scenario.
B
It's fun. It's a fun game. A pool party with a bunch of couples, and you start talking about which girl has the greatest ass. Pool party's gonna end in punches. So much fun. But just ride with them. Gameo's a good idea. You get a gay couple that drives you around. A, you're gonna get there real fast, and B, you might get into a fight. You realize it's a bunch of dudes. You'll be fine. They're angry drivers. Like tailgaters, too, which is kind of not surprising. They're right up your ass. But it's still. I don't care. Whichever one you want to go with there.
A
Bert, we banned the one, so.
B
Well, you could do it if you want. Who's in my room? We haven't heard the butthole server. All right, let's do it.
A
All right.
B
Butthole servers. It is off of our. Our talk.
A
I think I have to pull it up. I don't think that's an.
B
This guy says, man, I was at the game last night too. You're right. Everybody suddenly thinks it's Los Angeles at the Suns game. They're getting decked out. The team's not much, but it's getting worth it to see it. Like the Phoenix Open. You get to go see Wemby and all the people that show. No, I think it's been going on a little bit for, like, it's the Phoenix Open now. This is a husband hunting event. The Suns game. Girls going together to a Suns game and just walking around round. It's weird.
A
So it's. It's like preparation for the Phoenix Open. Yeah, like, they're getting their work in beforehand. It's like. Feels like spring training.
B
It's very much like spring training, but. But the weird thing about spring training is you don't get access to the players. I think these girls walk around. They walk by the benches. They're walking around in the. But they're trying to get the attention of the rich guys who have the front three rows. It is. It's a spectacle at this point. It's very strange. And the dudes are doing it. Dudes are all in suits and stuff. Like it's 1930. Crazy. We'll do it here. It's Butthole Surfers. Everybody who was in my room last night, I got no issue with this. Haven't heard this in a long time. I had. I had asked to. Jake Rowland, who was in charge of the kids at Dobson High School, asked me to go home when I had a Butthole Surfer shirt on.
A
Oh, really?
B
Yeah. What are you wearing? Butthole Surfers. You need to go home. You can't have that on at school. I'm like, all right. So I went home and came back.
C
With your ZOG shirt.
B
Came back with a Varnay shirt. Yeah. You're not supposed to have that either. It's the Butthole servers, everybody. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect, 98 K U P T. Still streaming morning sickness online@98kupd.com. There you go. That's Marilyn Manson right there. The Beautiful people, if you're interested in. It's the song that reminds me of that. The new Nine Inch Nails. Give it a good long listen. Yeah, it's great.
A
I like that song.
B
The new. That new. All their. It's really good. Didn't think I'd say that because. And they're coming back in March. March. Did they do a lot of the new stuff in the last one?
A
No.
B
No. I think that's what the march is going to be. It was. It's really good. That kind of. That song kind of reminded me of that vibe that comes off of it. Dig it. No problem with that. It's 740. That means that air is now going to be. It's your last chance for the seven o' clock word. If you haven't put it in the promo code box, you need to because it's ready to go for you right now. And that'll shut down in a couple of minutes. So keep trying. If you haven't done done it. And then at 8 o', clock, we'll give you yet another word to close out 8 o'. Clock. That way you can keep qualifying and bam, boom. Somebody's going to get another thousand bucks. That's how it Works. We just keep giving money away because that's what you do when you love people, you hand them cash. We'll have more of that as the day goes on. So I'll do 8 o' clock in just a little bit. 9 o' clock again, and then Fitz will start again at 2. And we'll just keep this thing going so you can take it in the air. I want to say thanks to all the people that did show up for the thing on Friday, but also real quick, lost our home pet rescue. I think I did my math right. I think they got pretty close to $300,000 at the sit Stay brunch, which is massive. And you start going through what happened to them this year with 15 air conditioning units and like four of them just died. They had their. Their sections of their dog run that somebody came by and replaced all the turf because that happened. They got hit by the Microbird first in September. That storm that came through, I guess that was October. Is that water pipe? Water pipes broke. They had plumbing issues. They lost their. You know, that was like Jody the. The princess, the queen, the one that runs the whole thing said, this is the year the building fought back. And so all this money that went in that they'd already covered, you know, insurance helps and all this other stuff, but they needed donations this year, not only to help the animals, but to make sure that the facility was up and running. Running. It was an awesome event.
C
So realize when those washing machines go out.
B
Oh, how much that they're doing. I've. I go in there all the time. We tried. We were. I knew those washing machines were going. We tried really hard to find somebody that sells those at reasonable industrial ones. I had called Eric Bryan at Precision, and I was like, man, I'll try. I'll see what I can get on that. Because it's just a special humongous industrial washer and dryer there's died. So then you fall behind for a day and you're falling behind. And so. So they had a tough year. And that. That luncheon did an amazing thing. So pretty awesome that they did that. And a lot of great stuff went out the door. This guy says, my last. Just based on what we were talking about at my last job, I worked with a young black kid, and he was always funny. He was talking to a girl out of state that he had banged, and she was asking him for money. He said, I'll never forget the wise words that came out of his mouth. Bitch, you're sitting on money. Money that I Fell out of my chair laughing because he couldn't be more right. Exactly. There's money down there if you need it. Don't beg, use it. This guy says John, about the Sun's game went on Halloween. Let me point out first that my wife is one of those rare women that doesn't only look at other women, but she points them out to me. I won sweet tickets for Friday night's game. And during the game my wife couldn't help but notice that the women at the game were just walking, they weren't sitting down. And at one point she leaned to me and said, what's with all the whores? And when I started laughing and I had to explain to her what you've been saying. They're trying to land a rich dude and they're flaunting whatever they can to get attention. It took her a minute to process this. And then my cool wife just says, well, good luck with that whores. And I realized how much I love this woman. That's a good one right there.
C
It's like a roller rink on the inside. Yeah, they'll change it up at the half. Reverse skate.
B
They reverse around. Try the other way. Every angle is a good angle. They just walk around dressed to the nines. It's a different experience than it once was. Just going, the mad House of McDowell never had hot people in it.
A
Oh, look at the hood. Nobody's going down.
B
Oh my God. Yeah, but Zincanto has a beautiful, you know, million dollar homes really.
A
But, but surrounded.
B
But close, close, close to the other side. Only place to eat was a Wendy's. He didn't have clubs at the old one. I feel sorry for the, the Sons, the former Sons like Tom Chambers and Kevin Johnson. They had to work really hard to go get groupies. No one, they go all the way to Scottsdale. Now the groupies show up to the Sons. It's pretty fun to watch the Millionaire. We're going to have to come up with a name like the Millionaire Walk or the Millionaire March or something like that. Because these girls get up and they start looking around for rich dudes. I saw a 79 year old man with a maybe a 30 year old Asian woman dressed as some sort of weird cowgirl. She had a cowboy hat and a leopard skin tight shirt on pair of shorts. This dude could barely. He was shuffling along like Biden, holding hands with her and I'm like, that's spectacular. Her walk worked. She did the whore walk and she got one. Yeah, they'll take care of you. Just go to a son's game and hoard up some. Somebody will set the hook and reel you right in. It's a beautiful thing. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our friends over at All Pro shade. AllProChade.com is where you go when you need all your shady work done. You got a back patio that needs some shade, they'll take care of it. You got a window that gets hit by too much sun, they'll take care of it. They got a TV on your back patio that's getting glare. They'll take care of it. They'll make the sun your friend, not your enemy and make your house an even better place. It ups the property values. It's just a nice feature to put on your place place and make your back patio an unbelievable thing. Or your front depends on where you want to do it. You got too much sun somewhere. They'll take care of that for you. They've been doing it for over 20 years. They're the best in the business, so check them out all prochade.com Brady reported.
C
Good Monday morning to you Phoenix. Hello world.
B
Hi.
C
Happy National Sandwich Day. No particular kind and give someone a dollar day.
B
No just one dollar? Yep. And just one someone not give everyone a dollar day. Just pick a guy, give someone a.
C
Buck, give him a buck if I've.
B
Got a dollar or her if I have a dollar on me. That would be so embarrassing.
C
A couple of basis fun facts. The LA Dodgers won the World Series.
B
That's right.
C
And that'll be sixth straight year, six straight years that a Will Smith has won a World Series ring.
B
There's a guy named Will Smith on all the last six teams.
C
The catcher for the Dodgers won in 2020, 2024, 2025 with the Dodgers.
B
Right.
C
Then there was a pitcher relief pitcher named Will Smith. Bounced around throughout his career. Won three straight rings with three different teams.
B
In the years the Dodger hasn't the Dodgers haven't won it since 2020, the years off.
C
So he won with The Braves in 2021, Houston Astros in 2022 and the Rangers in 2023.
B
How about that?
C
I think we've done this one before. There are four NFL teams that have won every super bowl they've played in.
B
The teams that have won it every time they go yeah well again multiple times that they've had to.
C
There's two that have gone. They're 2 0. Oh and then the other two are 1 0, so.
B
Geez, that's a tough one. Are the Colts one? Did the Colts get one? Did they lose back in Bears and they lost. They lost one in the 70s. Oh, yeah, because Joe Namath beat him. Geez, that's a tough one. The Chiefs. No, they've lost but two? It's hard when you get to just two. The Eagles have. No, they lost to the. The. That's a tough one too.
C
You got your most hated team.
B
Oh, The Ravens are 2 and 020. They don't even count as a team. It's just some rogue gang that ruins the streets of the NFL. Man, I'm trying to just go down the list. I don't know, there's a couple of them.
C
Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
B
That's right.
C
Then the ones that are 1 0.
B
You named one tons of one and. Oh, those.
C
Well, there's said there's only four. That's it all or undefeated Super Bowls one you mentioned.
B
Okay, I can't remember Defeating the Colts. Oh, the jets. Yeah, they're 1 0. The only time they went. That's true.
C
The other one is with the coach. Sean. It's New Orleans Saints.
B
Oh, Sean Payton.
C
Yeah. Yeah. Peyton. Banana slugs can have bigger junk, way bigger junk than humans. A banana slug is about 6 to 8 inches, and when it's fully engorged, the junk is around six to eight inches.
B
No kidding. Wait, a banana slug is six inches long?
C
Yep.
B
And so's its dick.
C
Yep.
B
Man, A banana slug has the same size wiener as the average man.
C
That's correct.
B
Have women figured this out yet?
C
I don't think so, because we're gonna.
B
See it on one of Brett's videos soon if they do.
C
But then, you know, it might not have the girth of the slug body.
B
So it's a thin pencil. Six inches. Hate, I hate to say these words, Brett, but look that up. I need to see that.
A
What a slug. Crank.
B
Yeah, you heard me.
C
Banana slug.
B
Okay, give me a banana slug wiener on that screen over there. Six inches of us. That's a hundred percent of its body. Be like me having a six footer.
C
Yeah, because we knew in the past. Penis trivia questions or fun facts? The bat is a third of its body.
B
Sometimes they fly around with it out. And then that corkscrew thing off a duck. Remember the duck, Wheat? Yeah, they're duck wieners. They look like spiral pasta as well as a pig. Pigs are corkscrewed as well. Yeah. There's the banana slug. Where's its Wiener.
A
Brett, I think that's it right there.
C
That's. Hey, that's just hanging right there.
B
That's not six inches.
C
Well, it's not engorged yet.
B
Oh, it's just. That's.
C
Rub it three times.
B
There's some banana slug porn. Porn. There they are doing it.
A
Oh, here we got a YouTube video.
B
Oh, cool.
A
We might have a commercial though.
B
That's all right. Or. Who's sponsoring that?
A
Oh, it's a six part series too.
B
I'm Doug Hopkins and I want to buy your home. Like Jesus. Doug. Who placed this ad? It's a six part series. This is. All right, here's the banana Spotify again. I think it was two, maybe three days ago. Spotify was right in this area.
C
Done.
B
Okay, get to the rat killing lady. If you're gonna do a banana slug sex video, I don't need to hear about your Spotify account. Let me move back. Are we still okay? Here they are. Now they're all. They're kissing.
A
Poor players.
B
I don't know. They're kind of boring.
A
Hour later.
C
Jeez.
B
One hour later to join me. Now does this lady not have a job? Moment when both tubes are available to.
C
See as they're gradually pulling apart.
A
It's got two clothes cranks.
B
Look at that view. I've seen yet. Oh, you freak. And I'm so glad they're getting business finished before the sun actually hits here. Why? They dry up pretty damn cute. Yeah, there's a guy with her. Did you hear that? Yeah, about 10:15. Okay, this is two people watching banana slugs do it.
A
Feel like I'm watching one of Brady's videos on Instagram.
C
Mine are so much more exciting.
B
Not. But if I make too much of a presence though Brady would have it pixelated. They don't need to see. This is banana slugs against God. I didn't see a wedding ring business.
C
I blur their faces.
B
Ay, say hi. Yeah, there is. There are some clouds. You can't see them here. Why are you giving a weather report? Yeah, there's a six part series of that particular couple watching banana slugs mate.
A
Yeah, here's the BBC. They did.
B
This will be a good up to 30 centimeters. I left when they have any. This fellow looks like he's being choked. Slugs in the world. Oh yeah. They are almost exclusively found in ancient wet woods. What are we doing? Cut to the rat killing. There's the.
A
Oh, nice.
B
There he is. Is an irresistible invitation to another ash black slug. Yeah.
C
Uh.
B
Oh.
C
Ash Hap that ash. Yeah.
B
Yeah. Bang that ass. Black ass. Once the pair reach the treetops, they become more intimate. Oh. Their tentacles are exploring to make sure that they're suitably matched. Listen to that noise. Slugs are hermaphrodites. Each equipped with both male and female sexual organs. Right. What's with all this soup chowing noises? Preliminary is complete. An overhanging branch provides a hold for the consummation. Yeah. Get to it, man. Come on. Together they hang down as one. Well, they're doing it in the wheelbarrow position. They're upside down.
A
Since they got both parts today. Flip a coin and who's getting water?
C
What? Right?
B
Yeah. They're Hermes. They can do everything they want. Look.
C
Look at that thing.
B
Is that the dork? Holy smokes. It looks like soft serve ice cream. It's huge. Entwining it together, each becomes as long as the rest of its owner's body. Oh, my God. And now it's like a tasty freeze.
D
This look like a twist.
B
Like a vanilla and a delicious blizzard.
D
Yeah.
B
Oh, look at that thing. Wow. He is banging the lights out of that slug. Each slug now passes a packet of sperm. Yeah, it's dirty. I'm gonna watch this later. At home. There's a new thing is massive though. Jesus. It just shot way out of him.
C
There's a new report out about the 10 friendliest states in America. And it compiled travel data from domestic and international visitors, social media happiness scale. In the end, Hawaii's number one.
B
They're the happiest state.
C
Yeah. The friendliest state.
B
Oh, friendliest.
C
Nevada to California. Massachusetts, Arizona.
B
We're in the top five.
C
Illinois, Utah. Yep.
A
Massachusetts. They must not have kind of Boston.
B
Boston's not friendly. Hey, kid. That's not a good greeting. Tommy. Yeah, Tommy. What's up, Tommy? Sup, kid? Park your car over there. Come on in here. We'll go over to the chairs. Oh, God. Just hearing them sounds unfriendly.
C
Last year I found New Jersey is one of the rude estates.
B
Yep, it's filled with people from New Jersey. That's why.
C
There'S a small dog who went missing from a family's home in Mississippi about five years ago. Got reunited with the family, turned up in Florida about 520 miles away. The dog was a chihuahua wiener dog mix named Penny who's been taking care of it. She was found two weeks ago dodging traffic on the city street.
B
It's been running the life of a.
C
Stray person who found her at her microchip scanned and the owners are. We're in Mississippi, they called him. And believe it. Why is it that he made her way all the way back?
B
I find it that my brain just.
C
There's some. There's some missing questions that you're talking about.
B
Like, yeah, for five years somebody's taking care of a choice Chihuahua. I have a strange vibe though when you said Chihuahua from Mississippi that I don't really. My head doesn't really wrap around that. Like, I don't picture anyone in Mississippi having a Chihuahua. But then again, I don't picture any Mexicans coming to America for a better life and going to Mississippi. I'll just go back home. Yeah, I mean, I'd rather be in Mexico. I got to be honest. I got a scholarship to Ole Miss. That's the only way that makes sense. Fence. For what? Landscaping, gardening, horticulture.
C
There it is. We got an Indiana.
B
Maybe, I don't know, but I just don't think of a lot of. Maybe even the Chihuahua escaped. Mississippi went to Florida. He wasn't missing. He left more work.
C
41 year old Indiana man named Joseph Corbat. He was spotted in Ace hardware store on Saturday with a noticeable, noticeable bulge in his crotch area.
B
Holmberg's morning sickness.
C
Police were called and they stopped him as he was walking out.
B
They cleaned that one up.
C
Yeah, they noticed Joseph was packing. Admitted that it was too big. Well, it ended up being a Milwaukee M18 router inside his pants. It's worth about 200 bucks. He initially claimed that he wasn't stealing it. He's planning on going back inside to pay for it. But later then he admitted he stole it. He was going to sell it himself.
B
Sure.
C
Use some of the money to pay some bills.
B
Most people stuff things they want in their pants and just continue shopping. I'll pay for this later. Oh yeah, this guy's not good. He just looks. He looks down waited on.
C
Give a dollar.
B
He's. Nobody's approaching him with money. You give him a dollar, he's gonna ask for 10. He just looks like a dude who is absolutely down on his lock. He's about to snap.
C
We had more action in Mississippi. You see the lady shot one of the monkeys?
B
Yeah, some ladies. Those missing monkeys.
C
Five kids. Kids spotted the monkey in her yard.
D
Not today.
C
Monkey.
B
Yeah, I'm shooting one. I'm telling you, I. I love animals. But if there's a. If there's a news alert of STD monkeys loose and I see a monkey in Mississippi, I'm pulling the trigger.
C
She said it got about 60ft from her home. I did what Any mother would do to protect her children.
B
Totally agree.
C
Shot at it. It just stood there. And I shot again. Backed up and that's when he fell.
B
It was. You were doing the work of the scientists anyway. You just killed it faster. It's a lab monkey. You know what? Those running around your backyard, they.
C
The initial. I mean, we did the story last week when it came out. And the truck driver said they're all riddled with.
B
Yeah, they weren't, but still herpes and hepsy.
D
So that's when they slammed those monkeys shooting them.
B
Yeah, that's right.
C
Another one was captured live. And then there's. There's still one missing again.
B
And shoot it if you see it because I would love to hear that 911 call too. Kids, get in the house now. Mama's got to go shoot a monkey in the backyard. And then get on the phone.
C
How you doing?
B
My name's Gladys. How are you? I just shot a monkey. One of them diseased STD monkeys in my yard down outside.
D
You're welcome.
B
You're welcome. Is there a reward? By the way, have you seen my Chihuahua? It's been going for a long time.
C
We've got an Arizona Superior Court judge just recently resigned over the weekend. It was Judge Christine Schaff Olson. She was in Prescott 1:30am she'd been drinking and the police were called to area because she was sitting on a. Basically a bus bench. After she was whizzing and as the police were arriving, she's pulling up her pants and it's Whiskey row.
B
It happens, broad.
C
Big deal.
B
You. You can't govern and piss on a bench.
C
It wasn't that far away from the courthouse.
B
Right. She was probably getting ready for work the next day, cleaning up. What was her name?
C
Christine Schoff Olson. S, C, H, double A, L, Schaff Olson. Hyphen Olson.
B
There's video of her pissing or getting.
C
Arrested basically as the cops approaching her up.
B
And what are you gonna do? The 8 o' clock word is upon us. It is play. Pla.
C
What am I gonna do? I gotta go.
B
I gotta go, man. Could do it.
A
Play.
B
That's the 8 o' clock word. If you want to get involved in that. When you pop it in that promo code for 8 o' clock and you're on your way to another chance at a thousand bucks. Beautiful.
C
It's been gone for 24 years, but Coke is bringing Mr. Pibb back.
A
I don't know.
D
It was gone.
C
It says PIB Extra.
B
Yeah.
C
Now they're bringing back Mr. Pitt the.
B
Original Mr. PIB is back. Sweet.
C
And it'll have 30% more caffeine than.
B
PIB Extra so it will kill you.
C
Saying has an intense sweet cherry flavor, hints of caramel and lingering spicy finish.
A
Wasn't it like a Dr. Pepper type thing, if I'm not mistaken?
B
Yeah.
D
Dr. Pepper knockoff.
B
Try to seduce me with the ingredients of it. Mr. Pibb.
C
We had a legend. Passed away over the weekend. Dwayne Roberts. He invented the frozen burrito. Billionaire Dwayne. He stuck it in the fridge. 88 years old. Cold.
B
Yeah. But you put it in there and you have to figure out a way to get it hot in a minute. So there's some sort of chemical he stuffed in that thing to make it so the frozen burrito metal didn't melt in the. The most amazing thing about the frozen. He's pretty awesome. The frozen burrito, to me, as a kid, even I remember getting those in those little packages. And I always wondered how come they weren't wet. There's something in them that made it so the microwave just heated it and didn't turn it into a. You could go frozen and put it in the microwave and it would come out okay. You didn't have to defrost it or anything.
C
Fun fact about Dwayne. His stepchildren, Doug and Casey Reinhart both appeared on MTV's the Hills. And he also developed the Mission in Hotel and Spa on Riverside, California.
B
I don't know what that is. Riverside. Who stands there? His kids were beautiful. Because he had the burrito money.
C
There's the Riverside. Yeah. I'm not real.
B
Those are those amazing moments in life where you realize, you know, sometimes you don't even think about it. But you're like, somebody had to invent Little Debbies. You know, Somebody had to invent the oatmeal cream. Not the one on porn. Don't do that. Yeah, not those. The snack cake. Because the guy who invented cream pies never got credit for it. I think it was volte. And then they gave her a rosing cream pie. Thanks a lot, Voltaire. Enough dirty talk. Oh, you should have seen. Was everywhere. We had to change the hay bales.
C
I'll bring it to you.
B
I'll show you a drawing. I made a crude tapestry to prove I am the inventor of the cream pie.
C
Copyright.
B
Copyright Voltaire. I didn't even know Voltaire was British. Voltaire, Inventor. That's how I picture the cream pie being announced out of it. Have you tried the cream pie, ma'? Am? Oh, Voltaire.
C
You Fifthy Beast got a couple of.
B
Pretty videos, but somebody had to invent Little Debbie's. Somebody had to just go, what's this goop and such frosting? Slap it between two oatmeal cookies. And like, man, this is spectacular.
D
Twinkie money. All that Twinkies.
B
Somebody had to invent that. Go through the store all the time. And I look and I'm like, these are all invented inventions. Everything I'm looking at is an invention.
D
So are there two inventors? You got the guy that made the Twinkie invented it. Then you got a guy that made the machine that makes the Twinkies.
B
Like, yeah, like. Like the dude who made them at home was like, taste this. And another guy's like, I went in. I went in. We're selling these. And then he went home.
C
First the machinery, and then the guy came up with the form. You know, basically, hey, let's do this.
B
You think they built a Twinkie machine before making pastries?
C
Maybe beforehand.
B
And. Yes, but that maybe foamy, weird thing.
C
And does the same one make the cupcakes and that.
B
That you're saying like the one that shoots the juice in a long john. Yeah, but it can't be because it's a three pronged attack.
C
It's a different shape.
B
The bottom of the Twinkie is a three pronger. Long johns are a single shot. Yeah.
D
And it does it. Like he said, it does it from the bottom.
B
Yeah.
D
Not from the.
B
Somebody had to invent.
D
Not from the banana slug end.
B
A specific Twinkie moon machine. God damn it.
C
First one's for you and Brett. Little Halloween fallout here. It's a quick cute one. You all think it's cute?
B
All right, It's a kid dressed as a Ninja Turtle for Halloween. And a little girl is in the background. Ninja Turtle is in the way. Oh, and he just smashes the little girl in the face with his Halloween bucket.
C
Seeing that Cute.
A
All right.
C
Oliver, Oliver.
B
Oliver. He hit her hard with his pumpkin that was gonna have candy in it in a couple hours. That's good stuff.
C
Oh, first class Pakistani train.
B
Or on the side of a train. Yeah. Dump. Pulls his pants right up. Barefoot. Climbed right on the tree with rust ass like the rest of them.
C
He gets back in the truck. Train. Packed house, too.
B
Pull your shirt down. What are you, Madonna?
C
He didn't want to get on his shirt.
B
It would put it. He's done pooping. Look at that train. Look at the humanity.
C
Anyone else?
A
Anyone else?
B
Timeout. We're not supposed to judge that. We're supposed to not Be bigoted towards that. There are 800 people standing in one train car and one of them just took a huge outside the train before he got on. And nobody said, get off.
C
Don't mind me.
B
Not one person said, hey, no. And I'm not. I'm supposed to go. Everybody's the same. Nuh, we're better than them. That's disgusting. I'm not saying all Pakistani people take public before transportation, but I'm saying the ones in Pakistan do. And everybody seemed okay with it. Try that today at a bus stop. Take a huge dump at the bus stop and then go, I'm getting on and see how many people even on the gross bus. Do stop. Get off. You're not getting on there. You call the police when somebody takes a dump. The scariest part of that video was how many people were just absolutely a okay with him getting in there.
D
No objection.
B
Not one person even said in Pakistani, gross, man.
C
Next one's one of the finest bull fighting stadiums. Look at how well built that is.
B
Yeah, this thing is.
C
Let's let the rogue bull bull be led by some horses into the crowd.
B
And not this impact the bull is running towards. Again, just citizens running all over the bullring. There's hundreds of people in the stadium and in on the field. This thing's collapsing, Right? And then they're gathered all in one.
C
The one guy just got plowed. Come around again.
B
Yeah, I think the bull is. I think it's a terrible idea to have hundreds of. It looks like disco demolition and a bull watch the back. Oh, he just kills a guy. He just kill. That guy's done. And again, people cheering. They wore hats to this. There's like a festive vibe.
D
This is a sun's night, like.
B
But no, they are.
C
They're dressed.
D
Everybody's looking for their moment.
B
This would be like if the Kentucky Derby didn't have boundaries. Yeah. You just let people walk around on the track. This bull is going a thousand miles an hour. And there's people everywhere.
C
Fiesta.
B
And that's part of it. There are people calling happen. All right. We're not supposed to judge that. We're Americans. We are better than all of this.
C
The last one is the Jaden Daniels.
B
Oh, God. You got the video of Jaden. Jaden Daniels. Oh, my God. Left arm. His arm is.
C
This is tough.
B
Oh, you got the slow Mo Brady. What is it about Redskins quarterbacks on Monday night football and Sunday night Football? If they don't, they get exploded. Daniel Done for the season after this. Well, at least it's his non throwing arm. Right. Oh, my God. Did you. As Seahawk fans support and celebrate breaking. That was gross.
D
I felt bad for.
B
Yeah, that was gross. Really bad. I don't. I wouldn't want to be the quarterback of that team this year because they're all injured up. Yeah, they're going to get. They're going to get a high draft pick, and that's the best thing in Washington that happened. That dude's elbow.
D
You got faith in Mariota?
B
No, they get a couple too many Oregon quarterbacks playing football right now. They're everywhere. It's like five of them. All right, Brett, what do you got?
A
All right. It's not bad for a Monday. We'll start off. We'll start off with this.
B
Guy jumping a motorcycle and he. He misses. Yeah. I don't know what they're gonna say. I'm scared to turn it up, but, yeah, Pee Wee did not hit the jump. Well, I mean, Peewee, the bike kind of hit the ramp, and then peewee flew off of everything. Yeah. Peewee does more jumping than.
D
The bike was a little heavier than Pee Wee thought.
B
You know, if they had jobs, we wouldn't have gotten that video. So I'm so happy that midday peewee jumps Saturday. No, mid. No, it wasn't. Midday peewee jumps were totally on the docket.
A
This is what happens.
C
You want to come over?
B
I saw that neighborhood. Nobody had a job. You see the houses? One job for sure. They didn't have take keeping up the lawn.
C
They got paid on that one.
B
Yeah.
C
Finally. We got.
B
Finally get these weeds out of the front yard and live a decent life.
C
Now, we always.
A
You know, we've always talked about, like, the guys from MMP bringing over the flamethrower and stuff.
B
Yeah.
A
Well, you always wonder what kind of use you can get out of it.
B
Oh, you got a bad guy on a porch. He's kicking the front door kind of lightly. Doesn't look like he's gonna make any damage there. But the ring camera's picking him up. Opened up the. Oh, and a guy comes out with a flamethrower lit. Don't come back, he says, that was great. Who has a flamethrower that ready?
A
I'm getting one.
B
I have one for weeds and stuff, but not that strong. Yeah. Whoa. Don't come back. Yes. That was intimidating, that last line. If I was a director, that'd be like, cut. All right, we need you to be a little bit tougher.
A
I need to call that guy for his next commercial.
B
Stay away. Don't come back.
A
How about this?
B
Okay, here's a. What the hell am I looking at there? Girl had a growl like a tiger. What is in her bottom? What is that?
C
It's just clear butt plug.
B
It's a clear butt plug. And it falls out. And then it makes it snoring. That's a Brady before dropping ass. Yeah, she's farting through a. Like a tube. Well, Merry Christmas, everybody. Use your Christmas wrapping tubes for that later. Well, that was weird. Thanks, Brad. That one was odd.
C
This is.
A
We've seen people like this at you fest.
B
We're at a concert. A little. A drunk dude's losing his mind. Just swinging at security. Oh, now he's. He banged into a fence. He's tearing the fence down. He sprung himself forward. He landed on somebody else.
A
Security.
C
All right.
B
Is he all right? He's dead. Did he just have a full wig out? Security took him down.
A
All right, next, some fighting for you. Some street fighting.
D
Oh.
B
Couple dudes in the room. One guy's got a stick.
C
This is the head one.
B
The other guy is hitting on the same. He's hitting a guy with a stick and. Oh, he just clanks him in the back of the head with the stick. He's not done. He goes over as the guy's down, and he's gonna keep hitting him. Oh, oh. Just beating the tar out of him with that stick. Oh. It's not gonna end well for the man without the stick. That's a good fight.
C
The first couple, he goes, oh, yes.
B
Thick guy is gonna win that. If you're gonna defend with punches and a block and take care of that stick and get inside. Hide there. All right, next one.
A
How about this?
B
The naked redhead in a crowd of people at a pool party. She's got a jump rope in her ass. This is amazing. Let me explain what's happening here to people. She has got the handle of a jump rope in her behind, and then it goes all the way across the backyard. A girl in a thong is jumping rope, and the other guy is making the rope go, and it's not coming out. She's got a firm grip with her butt on her side of the jump rope.
D
There's a conversation going.
C
Yeah, right. Yeah.
B
Yeah. And everybody else is just chilling, completely enjoying the party. Yeah. Not a lot of people are even really noticing that a girl is one half of a jump rope team with it in her ass. I even think of this stuff again. Inventors. And if they had jobs, jobs, they wouldn't have time to think. It's I love the unemployed. All right, we're in a gym. All right. It's just a bar.
A
What happens next?
B
We're in the gym. Okay. They just showed. Okay.
C
So I think. Hold on.
B
Taking the bar time out.
C
Yeah.
B
All right. That did sound kind of ominous. So there's. We're in a workout gym. They just showed some dumbbells. Some barbells.
D
And that's a big dude.
C
Or is the guy taking the whole.
B
Big dude's coming in dumbbell?
D
I think he's delivering.
B
I think he's gonna shove a dump. Brady says the dumbbell's going in a person. Yeah.
C
Yeah.
B
That's your guess. All right. Toledo.
D
Yeah, that was what I said.
B
That's what you think.
C
Oh, I thought you meant a bar.
B
Basically, I think it's gonna be some sort of a weird dude lifting another dude onto it. Like they're like. It's a sexual workout. Much more than that. No, it's okay. It is. Turns into a girl, surprisingly. She's peeing and.
D
Hold on.
B
She's got a five pounder in her bottom.
D
Timeout.
B
Yeah.
D
That's a bait and switch because those.
B
Barbells weren't in the first picture. That's the. Those are the.
C
That was the teaser.
B
Yeah. That were just a gym. She's just peeing and playing with a five pounder. Maybe a two pounder, one of those colorful ones chicks like to play with. That was the noise when it came out of there. It gets weirder every day. Everything's so strange now. What was that? She did the thing like you do.
A
Yep.
B
Only it was her bottom and a dumbbell. Always wash the weights when you're done using them. You know, wipe them down.
C
Yeah.
A
You never know.
B
Now they provide those bleach wipes for a reason. Use them. Some people might be working out their inner anus. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady report. It's 98. Oh, by the way, the word is play. P, L, A, Y. The word is play. For 8 o'. Clock. Get it in there. Maybe you want a thousand bucks. Arizona's most powerful rock media station. He said fully erect. You got 10 more minutes or so to put the word in for the code. Play is the word. A lot of people asking me, play. Hey, get on that deal and run it. Just answering emails and talking about this. That the Dodgers winning the World Series angers a lot of people. People. But it was such a great game. It was such an amazing baseball game. Yeah. That. I mean, you can't complain at all. You get that. You get that Entertainment value. I just feel. Look, and. And a lot of people are saying those. I believe you're calling them snow monkeys and making fun of Canadians for trying to steal our World Series. And I think that's the one thing that made me happy, was that Canada.
D
American.
B
Yeah, Canada got nothing. I'm not a Dodger fan by any stretch, but let's keep it usa. You know, they were the representation of the United States. Toronto won the American League, ironically. And I know they're North America, but that's ours too.
C
One of the Canadian commentators, it's funny to hear his reaction because he's like, so they were a much better team than what the Dodgers were. And then he. Were they drops an S bomb.
B
Yeah. Were they recapping? Were they. Because the Dodgers have a trophy and you don't.
C
Yeah. They seem to have two shots to close it out.
B
Remember when it was. Was 4 to 3 in the ninth inning? Remember when you had the bases loaded with one out in the ninth, it was 4 to 2 and that Japanese kid came in and shut you down? It was an amazing game. But, yeah, I'm happy that Canada got nothing. And I don't know that I hate Canada so much, because I don't. But I also don't like them when we play them. And they've become kind of our new Russia. Growing up, Russia was the enemy. Drago versus, you know, Rocky and stuff like that. We could very easily put a Russian nemesis in a movie movie. And everybody was on the same page. I think Canada has taken their place. I think if when the USA and Canada play hockey together, it's angry, you know, we get like, really fired up for that. And when Toronto tried to have a World Series, we don't like that. So I think if you made a new Rocky and you did it like a Canadian fighter would be the one you'd have to like. That's the international battle that makes us angry. Drink. We're kind of like, I don't know, they're just so small and weak and poor compared to us. And yet they're smug.
C
They.
B
They rolling their eyes at our way like, you guys. If it wasn't for us, you'd only be speaking French and then German. You'd have lost all the wars. Just. How about a. A, A nice you're welcome and keep your smug Canadian crap to your yourself. Sorry. I'm a little bit bitter still about this whole Blue Jays coming close thing. And I hate the Dodgers, but I'm better than Canada winning it all. We got ourselves a Guadalupe replay. Now, the reason I bring that up is because Vin Scully's in the Guadalupe Squares Friday lamenting the Dodgers losing. Like he was convinced they weren't going to get through the weekend. And not only that, he thought they'd lose. Friday night. It was the end of Dodger baseball. They got him. And of course, it was knock, knock joke day, all the Halloween treats. And President Trump was there in his costume for Halloween. So let's relive the Halloween version of The Guadalupe Squares. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98 still streaming. H's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com it's time now for the most moral man in all of Phoenix to give you a chance to hear how your life could be better. He's going to fix it. Brady Bogan sits across from us in judgment every day with the Lord by his side. And you write letters and say, brady, I'm an idiot. And he says, why? And then Brady would fix it. Now you get everybody's opinion and what would Brady do? But Brady's is the one that's probably the least interesting but yet most correct. And it's brought to you by our friends at MMP Guns. MMP Guns has Arizona's largest inventory of firearms, prices and service that's hard to beat. Says so right here. And they got a new thing going on, right? Yeah.
A
Right now through the end of the year, they're taking 100 bucks off of all their builders classes. So you want to build yourself an AR, a Glock style pistol, 100 bucks.
B
Off right now, right off the bat, just for their holiday pricing.
A
Absolutely.
B
Holidays coming are here, Brad, M&P. Guns.com that's where you go, Brady. Are you ready to solve everyone's life? All right, here we go. Well, this is a tough one. Dear Brady, I. I have to say that I think it's time I told a good friend of mine that he's just not funny. He does wacky dances and hoots and hollers like it's 1960. Like he's on Laugh In. He's loud and he's bouncy and people laugh because he makes the room uncomfortable. And he's so sweet. I like funny. Don't get me wrong. Wrong. He's a great guy. Super positive. Maybe too much, but it's time he was told. He's just annoying. Stop touching people. He's so nice and so sweet, but I think he really thinks people enjoy his brand of humor. And I'VE heard from other people that they just don't. How do I tell a friend that what he's doing is actually sad?
C
Stop being a friend.
B
You think you don't want to be friends with him, but what if you really like him?
C
Like, well, I mean, come on. How long has this guy been friends with him?
B
You can be friends with somebody and then socially they get really uncomfortable and awkward.
C
If you were really friends with them.
B
Yeah.
C
You'd be able to address that, no problem.
B
You could tell somebody that. I'd have a hard time.
C
Look, you. You need to stop doing that.
B
People don't think you're funny. Yeah, I don't know if you could do that. I don't know if he'd take that. I don't know if a person. Like I've always said that.
C
You know, it just sounds like. How important is that friend friendship to you?
B
If it is very important.
C
I mean, if he's losing people because it. Or it's making harder for your other friends to hang out.
B
Here's the thing.
C
That's when you talk, if you've got.
B
The one guy who turns into wacky clown in and amongst a group, you're like, oh, is he going to start in? Is he going to be that dude that won't stop? That he just swinging at every pitch? He's normal most of the time, but in a group he tries to be the life of the party and he's just not. I've always said this. I remember saying this with my friend Colin years ago about a girl. Girl who? Remember Wild Whitney Brady.
C
Yeah.
B
And everyone thought she was funny, but no one thought she was funny. And she'd walk around Brett at work with her fingers in her armpits all the time. Just in the middle of a sentence, you and I could be saying, oh, Brett, I'm so sorry that your dog passed away yesterday. It's rough. And she'd come up and go, when I get nervous, it's my armpits like this. And then she'd walk away. She'd do like a Saturday Night Live thing.
A
Oh.
B
And she. She was like that guy from Airplane that just shot on John scene and made a joke.
A
Yeah.
B
And then would leave. And I remember I told her, I'm like, hey, I'm not saying I know you well enough for this. I loved saying this to her too. I'm like, you're confusing high energy with funny. And you're wrong. You're just annoying people. So don't. Because she would come over and do a bit. And it was, it didn't matter if she was invited into the conversation or not. She just kind of involve herself sometimes and with high energy nonsense and nothing was funny. It's like, oh, that you. So people just tolerated it because her heart was in the right place. She wanted to be fun, but what she was was just over the top anxiety and no one liked it.
A
And you were the first one.
B
I told her like, I didn't like her though, so I didn't care. So I went over and I told her, I'm like, look, you're confusing energy for entertainment. And there's a big difference.
C
And I could tolerate it. I mean, it is what it is.
B
Most people did.
C
I'm like, I, I, I think people will learn. They gotta learn on their own. Because I don't think I also do, you know, bothers me, the people that feel, oh, I'm, I'm the person that.
B
Needs to tell this person, no, I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that. If somebody's like, if you're driving me.
C
Nuts, I don't think it's funny.
B
Yeah, but it is.
C
Well, who are you being the comedy chairman?
B
There's comedy chairman. There's a comedy chairman? Yeah, there's, there's, there's definitely a comedy chairman chairman. You know that more than anybody. When we used to have a guy in this building that would try to involve himself in the jokes and it would piss you off.
A
All right, which one was it?
B
Oh, yeah, who is it? I'll write the name down.
A
All right, well, I know you can't say it.
B
I'll write the name down. But I remember when he left the room after he said exactly the same thing I just said, trying to be funny. And you go, it's just different when he says says it. And I'm like, what Just rubs me the wrong.
C
I know. That's not comedy though.
B
Well, that's right. So you were the comedy police.
C
That's no, that guy's not funny anyway at all.
B
Zero.
A
He's right though.
C
Acid.
B
This is the. See, look, he's getting mad again. This is the point. He thought he was funny. Oh, he's wrong. He thought he was funny and you. And what did I do? Hated him. You giggled.
C
Yeah, that's all right.
B
And then he'd leave the. No, you weren't. I mean, yeah, you took it out on us. He'd leave the room, that guy. You know, some people say it just doesn't, just rubs you the wrong way. Like I'm with You. I'm with you. He's not funny. And so you were the comedy chairman once. You knew, and you were right.
C
Well. But there wasn't anything funny about some of the comments.
B
He thought he was hilarious.
A
I don't think I've ever heard him.
C
Say, I was not the comedy chair.
B
You wanted someone to say something. You should have, because you said it to me. And you were right. I was more than happy to do it. If you just said, somebody's got to get in that guy's ass. I'm like, I'll be your huckleberry. Was gonna punch him. Wow.
C
No, no, no, not by me. I go, we'll find out.
B
Yeah. He'd come in and make a little.
A
Around to find out.
B
Here's the thing. I. I would make like a. Like a fat joke or something, and then a few seconds later, he'd come into the studio and make like, pile on. And Brady'd laugh at it with us because it's a safe space. You know that. And then he'd come in and you just see Brady just. And he'd leave. Yeah, I just don't need it when he's.
C
I don't need it.
B
I don't need it from him. It was great. So there are people that sometimes do need to be told. You realize at least with. Let's say, you.
C
At least with Brady you haven't seen in years or whatever, and comes up. So what are you trying to get up to?
B
Yeah, that.
C
In front of a bunch of people that know.
B
Which is what this guy's asking. He's like, look, he's missing the mark.
C
One thing.
B
He's missing the mark. So there are comedy chairmen. And I know it bothers. Yes, there are. There are comedy chairmen.
C
They miss the boat a lot of.
B
Times, and usually they're threatened because.
C
No, wait a minute. Oh, no funny guy in this group.
B
No. Then. Then you're not funny if you're. If you're worried about that. But if you need to talk saying.
C
If the other guy's worried about.
B
You're concerned you're confusing funny with ass.
C
Just make sure he gets that straight.
B
You're doing exactly what I'm talking about. About confusing energy with comic ability. And there are funny people, and there are people who think they're funny and somebody who is funny, and I'm going to go ahead and say us can go up somebody who's not and go. You realize you're just pissing everyone off. Right? And that would be just fine. And you can walk Away. Oh, John thinks he's the comedy chairman. I am. When it comes down to people who aren't funny, who are annoying you or what. Brady's going to punch you. I think it behooves you to go, hey, Brady's thinking about swinging at you if you come in the room again and start making fat jokes on top of us.
C
Not. It's not.
B
Oh, you were. You were not after. I know you weren't really going to attack him physically.
C
The point is it potentially will happen and they'll find out.
B
But here's the thing that it did. It would set you off.
C
It would. He'll say it to the. You know, you say to a certain person, yeah.
B
But it would set you off into a certain mood. Outside of. Once he left, he'd wrecked you for a few minutes like you were mad at him. So you.
A
It.
B
It changed your attitude for at least a while. I'm not saying you to physically assaulted a man, but it did make your next few minutes a higher climb.
C
Yeah.
B
And it certainly wasn't going to take.
C
A swing at him.
B
It took you off your game. It took you off your game because you were thinking about how much you hated that guy when he'd leave the room. And I would find it hysterical. All but I'd have been more than happy to if it started to continue to be a problem. Go over. Go. Hey, you know, he does not think you're funny at all. So when you come in and start joking, it pisses him off. So be careful.
C
And there are other things behind it.
B
Too, because, well, you just didn't think he was funny.
C
Well, he's a mole.
B
I don't know. We never really had a mole. That was just. That was never confirmed. That was an easy mark to say he was a mole. He was never a mole. But it was definitely something that used to drive you nuts. And he'd leave the room and man.
A
But Brady's right in this case because knowing that person, you know who I'm. Yeah.
B
But the fun of it all was Brady's just going, this is fun. You guys are great times. I like it in here. Hey, fat ass. It's just different when he does it. And then it was over. Like the fun was over. So. Yeah, there are like, it.
C
It.
B
It would have done a lot.
C
Yeah. The delivery, the intention is they confused.
B
Their energy with funny. And some people just aren't. So I don't think it's a bad thing to occasionally go. Do you realize you're. You're more just making People upset you're bothering folks. Don't do the wacky dances anymore. Stop it. No, not you, Larry. You know who we're talking about. Yeah, nobody thought he was funny.
A
Exactly.
B
He thought he was a funny person. He wasn't. And you heard Brady's even still calling names. Well, there's a mole anyway. Brady still all pent up, angry anger about that. I found it.
C
Accusations fly.
B
Oh, yeah, it was great. Somebody just asked, what's the code word for nine? It's elite. No, I'm not saying you go around going, you're just not a funny person. That's wrong. You wait. You gotta wait for a person.
C
Friend. You know how to tell if you're.
B
A friend and your friend's driving people nuts and you're struggling to take that person out anymore because it's like, oh, they're kind of embarrassing or a little bit off. You know, everybody's got that one, one friend. Brett's over there thinking of Brady wanting to punch her. That's hilarious. Oh, it was great. Oh, when he came in and it was just, you know, it was random. He wasn't in here a lot. I think I could watch Brady be like, hey, John, have a good weekend. And you just hear in the back, hey, Brady. Oh, is he here, that guy? Just, you know, when he says hello, it's just different than another guy's hello.
C
It's a dark cloud that walks into the room.
B
Yeah, I didn't feel the dark cloud. You did. You just did not care for his branch.
C
No, there's nothing. There's. The room does not light up.
B
It didn't light up or. Or dim down.
C
There's nothing.
B
Yeah, I didn't find him funny, but I watched him think he was. And I watched it bothering me.
C
Yeah. Once you knew something that was rubbing.
B
The wrong way, I thought it was like, oh, this is not going to go the right way. Because he didn't.
C
I don't know what his deal was.
B
Because it just seemed like he thought he was on. Yeah, I think he thought he could just pop in and sit and hang with us and it would be like, he's just one of the guys. He wasn't. You know what he was, was he was using the nword.
C
Like, whoa.
B
What? Yeah, basically we were a group of people that could use it. You know what I mean? And then he came in. He's the white kid that hangs out with black guys and thinks he can say all they can say.
A
It's like Malibu's most wanted over there.
B
And then you realize, hey, man, you're not. You're not in this crew. You can't do that. And so he kind of popped. He would. He would elbow his way into our little group and try to be part of it. And you're like, you're not a part of it. Oh, it was fun to watch Brady get mad. You're gonna like this one, right? So, yes, there are. There are comedy chairmen in and amongst groups.
C
If you're going to address it to your buddy, just make sure you go about it the right way.
B
Yeah, yeah. You gotta calm down in public settings. You're driving people nuts. Ah, come on, it's for fun. I know it's for fun, but it rubs people the wrong way. I mean, you can still be funny. You just don't. You're over the top. If he's vaudevillian and crazy, you gotta be. You gotta calm down. Pull it back.
C
It can help you out sometimes too, because you get to this dude this second times. You could be the. What is it? Progressive commercial where, yeah, you're rich. Like, hey, yeah, you're doing it when.
B
You'Re doing the wacky dances and you're losing your mind publicly and that just. It's a cry for help really, more than anything else. Nobody laughs at the wacky dance, man. Out of the blue, that guy, I know who you're talking about. He drives me nice nuts. Die in a fire.
A
Send Brady over there to handle it for you.
C
He'd do it.
B
Yeah. Hey, I'll tell you what, chief. Keep it up. This one says, all right, all right. Leave Toledo alone. It's true. Morning sickness. Holerg's morning sickness. Like if Toledo started to do like bits on the air, we'd be like, what are you doing doing? You're not funny. We all do it to him. Is not funny. Like you would. How would you describe Toledo? Hilarious. You're gonna laugh at me even saying that. So they're a comedy chairman. He's a nice guy, he does a good job, he plays along, but I wouldn't, you know, like, have him open for Bill Burr anytime soon. This one says Brady, my ex husband is marrying a 23 year old woman. He's 52 years old. Old pig. She wrote it. I didn't say it. She's very pretty and she's very nice, but so what? He's a pig. He wants to invite me to the wedding. We have to get along because we have kids 14 and 17. We got divorced because I lost my confidence. I gained some weight from A medical issue with my knees, and I haven't been able to get the weight off because I can't work out. I feel gross, and frankly, I just shut off. Anyway, he moved on. Our kids do not want to be part of this pervert father way wedding. I don't think they should have to go. The kids don't want to go, and he says I'm poisoning them against him. I don't want to keep being a bad guy, but we hate what's happening to their gross, perverted dad. Pig. What would you do, Allison? Oh, man.
C
It's definitely a tough wedding to go to. Yeah, I, I, I think, you know, there's a part of me saying, try not to poison it. I understand that. But not attending, you don't have to go.
B
Yeah.
C
And, you know, for the kids now, if the kids are feeling that same way.
B
Well, she said the kids don't want to go, but what if Dad's like, they better go, and they're gonna. And if the kids even say they don't want to, they're 14 and 17. You got to do what mom and dad say. Yeah, but Mom's saying no, and Dad's saying, yeah. Yes, there's the issue.
C
Dad's got to be a little more sensitive about that. Rolling that out on the kids. You know, you could say, it is what it is and let them. Let them adjust a little bit first. I want you to be the ring bearer. I want you to. Yeah, don't ask that on that.
B
They're new moms.
C
You have to understand where they would. They might have a tough time with that.
B
Yeah. Might be rough. Especially because Mom's fat and can't walk around because bum knees now. And now he's got this new piece.
A
And David said maybe she stayed on her knees, she'd still be married.
B
That's right. Maybe she.
C
But if there's a wedding.
B
Oh, that poor woman emailed, asked for help, and gets hit with Vasquez on the email. You son of a.
C
If there's a wedding wedding you. You want to attend to see a potential explosion happen.
B
Yeah. If you're on the guest list for this.
C
Couple of Chardonnays under the belt.
B
Absolutely. I would break my rule of no more weddings for this one, because that's gonna happen. Something horrible is going to happen. Once the alcohol gets flown, the reception is where you want to go. The wedding itself. Who cares?
A
DJ services here.
B
Brett will do it for free. Free. I'll show up and do it for free then. God damn it. I need to borrow your stuff.
C
Extra time on the toast.
B
I will DJ that want to toast.
A
I'll open mic.
B
I don't even know. Yeah, it's. Yeah. Anybody who has anything to say, please. I gladly help out with that wedding. That sounds incredible. But, yeah, the kids. If. That's the tough one, though. If Mom's like, you shouldn't go. Your dad. You are poisoning him. Even from your email I'm reading, you called him a pig four times. You may not realize it, but you're poisoning.
C
Yeah, well. And she's. You know, just step away if you can.
B
Well, she can't. Brady, your knees will break. She's got a wheel away.
A
That's what sounds like she.
B
Yeah. Sounds like she blew it.
A
Sounds like she's the pig.
B
Yeah.
C
Slowly step away.
B
Slowly. Be very careful.
A
Tell her to put down the Cheetos.
B
Yeah. It says this lady is a pig herself. If the roles were reversed, she'd be bragging about how she got some young guy and her kids loved him and probably true. It is different. There's a double standard.
C
And it's weird. I mean, you know, that's a tough one to begin with, inviting your ex.
B
Well, the mother of your kids and stuff. You gotta play pretend everything's okay. She doesn't have to go. And if he really wants the kids there, he has to talk to him. But if Mom's throwing.
C
I was, you know, to him, I'd say, you gotta understand why they might not want to go.
B
Your dad's gross. Your dad's this. She's. You're definitely spewing some venom around the house. That's right. For sure. So maybe be nicer. Maybe find a treadmill.
C
It's too fresh.
B
Said six years older than his son. Stepmom. Porn man. It's happening. It's coming. That's right, Daniel. We're all thinking the same thing. This one says, dear Brady, I got a bartender fired by making a complaint to a manager. And I love this place, but I'm worried. Now the other employees think I'm a rat. Should I ignore it or talk to the staff about what happened? Signed to Tony.
C
I don't think there's anything. I. I think the more you bring it up.
B
If you make a complaint at a restaurant and you come back and that person's gone, you should worry for a little bit till you get a vibe on the staff of how close everyone was to the person that got fired. Especially if you were the one that.
C
Feels like you might have serious power.
B
Yeah.
C
If your complaint was the one that's like, oh, you did that?
B
Yeah.
C
You know, you must be spending some money over there.
A
Bars and restaurants are a knitting circle, though. It's just the rumor's gonna get out of hand and out of control. You're screwed.
B
You think?
C
I think you might have to find a new place.
B
Yeah.
A
Unless they really hated that person that got s canned. But he screwed other than that.
B
All right. Finally. Dear Brady, I'm in a weird situation with my wife. My wife and I have been married for 11 years. It's great. We both have good jobs, make good money, good sex life and my affairs opinion. Since we've been married, neither one of us have had any close friends. I don't go hang out with the boys. She doesn't go postinos with the girls. We just like being with each other. The only close friend that she has is her cousin's wife. They both love working out. They're in the gym together a lot. They go running together. Maybe just take that last emailer down to the gym with these two and get her back on the ball. Get My wife is a physical therapist, athletic trainer and she needs to be in good shape for a job. I got lucky. My wife's cousin is kind of a jerk. Treats his wife lousy. Not too respectful of her feelings. So she hangs out at my house a lot. No big deal. From what my wife has said, her friend knows a lot more about sex than my wife does. She's into more stuff. My wife has always been the type of girl where sex happens in the bedroom. Nothing super adventurous, but it satisfies me. Recently I noticed my wife is way more sexually active. Not sure what change. She's more adventurous at night. Night during sex. Recently opened the back door. She's giving me a lot of daily mouth hugs. Wow, life's been good. I got out of bed the other morning and my wife was already up and had been to the gym. And I make my way to the couch and her friend is over and they're kind of cuddling friends. Husband wife's cousin had been pretty mean to her that morning. So she was crying on my wife's shoulders. So I see my wife and her snuggling under a blanket. My wife lifts the blanket and says, come over here. And suddenly the three of us are cuddling. I'm getting excited because my wife's ass is rubbing against me. She knows what she's doing, but her friend is right there. Nothing happened. After a few minutes, her friend got up and left and had to go to work. Is my wife and her friend throwing me hints? Am I reading too much into this? Are women just that different that they can cuddle together? We don't do that. Do you guys do that? Do I have a shot and a menage a trois here? Do I let this progress naturally? Do I bring it up to my wife? I'm interested in actually doing it? Do I have something to worry about? What would you say, Brady?
C
Yes, they are wired that way that they can snuggle without having the adult women. Yeah.
B
Snuggling under a blanket, sure. No, no.
C
And the other thing. Don't assume there's.
B
Okay, yeah.
C
You're reading into it because it's a trap.
B
But let's get back to this. You think you come home, Ronnie and her friend are under a blanket holding each other, that that's okay or normal?
C
No, I think to them they could say, yeah, that's normal.
B
You would walk in and go, okay, that's. You would.
C
First of all, it's always cold at the house with blankets and jackets. But not all the time.
A
Blankets.
B
Sharing it. You don't share blankets as adults unless something else is going on. Ask your Uncle Jack. Yeah, maybe. Maybe we're asking the wrong guy about this.
C
I'm just saying I think she could be getting randy with you, but I don't think it's an invitation for the two of them. I wouldn't read into that.
B
Really? Ronnie and her hot. Ronnie and her hot friend lift the blanket and say, get in with us. You just think that's a fun cuddle. That's an invitation, man.
C
Okay, go for it.
B
Don't you think you would see that as just friends laying on each other? I mean, seriously.
C
I mean, if that's what he's looking. No, that's what's happening. Yeah. I don't know.
B
How would you. How would you react if.
C
Ron, I'm just telling you that. I mean, you're. The way you're describing it.
B
Yeah.
C
And the way it actually, you. You know, you're putting more into it. Can girls snuggle like that under a blanket? Yes, they can. Without it being sexual?
A
I don't know about.
B
I don't see that at all. Adult girls, adult women. Ronnie and a friend could snuggle under a blanket and you'd think that was just friendship.
C
Yeah. You would? Yeah.
B
If you came home right now and Ronnie and her friend were snuggling under the same blanket.
C
Depends on what friend you're talking about.
B
You know, you think there's a friend that you'd be like, yeah, that makes sense.
C
That came over and any friend.
B
You wouldn't find that peculiar, like right away. There's something more to that. You can sit and hold someone the second you're under blankets together and you're cuddling. That's intimacy. That's different than just like friends being there for each other.
C
Yeah.
B
There's a line crossed there, laying down.
C
If it's strong enough. I mean, the.
B
If. If anything, one of them is distraught, so you'd cover that one in a blanket and maybe hold them. But that's not intimate snuggling. And also the blanket doesn't lift up for more people to join.
A
Your.
B
Your wife is telling you that she's more than friends with this girl, and she's going to try to show you comfortable enough to.
C
That's to invite him into the mix.
B
A lot more than just a. And you really. I don't. I'm struggling with that one. I don't think the general.
C
Oh, yeah, no, the general answer as far as can women do that without it turning into sexual. I gotta get it on with you. But it doesn't have to be wired differently that way.
B
I don't think so. I don't think they're wired differently.
C
They're very nurturing to each other.
B
Yeah, but nurturing and snuggling are two different things.
C
Under blankets, we interpret it as, oh, this is nurturing. You know, random person. Person. If they were doing that to their girlfriend and then they turn around and do it to you, that's a ghost sign.
B
Yeah, but under a blanket. If Maia was under a blanket with a girl, you came home, you'd be like, what's going on? It's like we're just snuggling.
C
She had a tough day at work.
A
No, no.
C
But then. But then says, come over here. Maybe there's something.
B
Even if they didn't.
A
Well, she did say, come over there.
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
But it's. I just don't think that grown women snuggle under the same blanket. I just don't. I don't think they're. They're not wired that differently. This one says, goddamn rose colored glasses, Brady, open your effing eyes. Yeah, that one's not.
C
She got riled up. Riled up? Yeah.
B
Even still, I'm worried more.
C
She started flirting with him more so I don't know about the. I would think I'd want a little more feedback out of the other girl to know that saying. Oh, okay. This is the next step.
B
Your wife she's turned out she's getting lesbified.
A
Should be a title nine soon.
B
Yeah. The girl that's upset with her husband has come over. And your wife is a target now. And it's working. I don't. I don't buy into the idea that women can just.
C
They're wired towards him.
B
Huh.
C
Which is a good sign.
B
She's still in on it. But that's, you know, it's a little bit of a.
C
She's going through an adventure phase. Maybe, Maybe.
B
But I don't think women can snuggle under blankets together and there's not something awkward or. That's not normal. That's just not normal. Because even you'd say, I don't.
C
You don't see it too often.
B
You don't see it at all. If you see it, something else is going on.
A
This guy says, say nothing but remain hopeful and prepared.
B
Yes, that's exactly right. I wouldn't breach it. I'd be like, hey, what's with the cuddling? You two just sit and lay under blankets together? That's. There's more to the story here. No, we just like to cuddle in the daytime. No, Nobody. No adults do that. That's not an adult move. This guy says, are the girls cousins? No, it's the girl. I think it's her cousins. Marriage, a friend. Yeah. Anyway, walking to my wife cuddling a hot friend be like, what the hell are you two doing? Can I get in on this? Can I be a Toledo and cuck this situation? At the very least, yeah. That's pretty much. That works anyway. That's strange. Stop cuddling with friends. You're adults. That stops at a certain age. There you go. My goodness. You guys have some issues. There it is. It's 98 KUPD. That's what Brady did. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98K still streaming Holmberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com. How did that happen? How did we manage this, Boys? It's right on time. This machine. That's how we run an operation around here. It is time for the entertainment drill. And that entertainment drill is brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com. i tell you about this every day. I tell you something going on at React Defense. Listen to this. They're celebrating 25 years. Years in 20, 26. That's pretty awesome. And they kick off their 25th anniversary. Celli bracion. They're going to roll back their prices. One month of training 89 bucks for the first 100 people that get on board. Reactdefense.com you're gonna get an Unbo. That's like 60 cents a class. If you want to go to the classes, you're not going to go to all of them. That would be ridiculous. But they have a lot of them to choose from. So the of the month is ridiculously priced at 89 and gets you a little taste of what react defense Tactical black is all about. First 100 people get on that will have it in their hands and it will start a new you. I bet you almost all of them come out of there saying, wow, I need to keep this going. It's a perfect time to get it started and get yourself on track. The holidays are right around the corner. You might as well start a new regime of staying in shape and doing your thing. I think it's all awesome if you do it. Reactdefense.com is where you go. First 100 people. It's a hundred bucks for the month. That's awesome. Good luck to everybody who gets there. I Hope you're not 101. The 100 people that get it are going to go pretty quick. Reactdefense.com that's where you go. It's the home of Tactical Black Brady Entertainment.
C
We got a little friction going on at Stranger Things.
B
Okay.
C
Before the new season rolls out, Millie Bobby Brown allegedly accused David harbor of bullying and harassment.
B
Here we go.
C
She filed a formal complaint before filming the final season and had a personal representative with her when they filmed the finale.
B
She strikes me as a one of those you'd walk on eggshells around. Maybe it's just that generation. Well, she's got the face, though. She's got the look like when you look at her, you're kind of like, ah, I better mind my p's and q's here. She looks like a tattle.
C
According to one source, there are pages and pages of accusations. The investigation went on for months. The nature of the allegations were not sexual.
B
No. And that David.
C
David's had a tough role on that side.
B
He seems fun, though. I think he like, he hosted Saturday Night Live and he's just got big energy and he's kind of. He's in that Santa Claus movie and he seems like a person that's kind of.
C
Maybe his wife, Lily Allen.
B
Yeah, they're strange.
C
Wife.
B
They're all done.
C
Oh, yeah, he had fun. All right.
B
Sure, sure. No, he has sex with lots of people and he seems like a guy that he's a man's man. And then he's going to get you in trouble. He's a trip to Mexico. But that, that, that combination of Millie Bobby Brown's face and fun philandering guy and that was a oil and water. She looks like a rat tattle though, don't you think? Like I kind of look at her like if she was in the office, she'd be like, ooh, think about it.
C
She's what, 12?
D
When she started on this show and then became something because of it, she never had to experience anything he's gone through.
B
True. But she also looks like the type of person like you're like, don't talk about politics around her. She's gonna get mad. Like she can't have a conversation without getting angry. She's a turnberg. And if you even said Greta Thunberg stupid, she'd get furious and like file paperwork.
C
Another doom goblin.
B
Yeah, she's sort of got doom goblin face. Not as bad as Greta does. I like when Greta tries to sexy it up every once in a while.
C
Forbes released a list of the highest.
B
Have you seen that? No. Google it. Oh my God.
D
Sexy Greta Thunberg. I'm not putting that in my history.
B
You're going to change how you see her for a second.
D
It's AI, I tell you right now.
B
You'D be out in some sort of weird sailboat going over to Europe to yell at leaders. If the way she's got her cans out in that one one picture, they're somewhat impressive.
C
So Forbes released the list of the highest paid deceased celebrities of 2025. Michael Jackson number one again.
B
Still number one.
C
105 million.
B
Elvis, Marilyn.
C
Elvis dropped down. Elvis takes in 17 million a year.
B
Rough year for Elvis.
C
Dr. Seuss however. 85 million.
B
Wait, Elvis was 17 and Dr. Seuss is 85? I guess that's true because there's always a new batch of children that'll need the read the books.
C
And there's a tie for third. It's the Pink Floyd members Richard Wright and Sid Barrett. 81 million each.
B
Did there something. Did they do something re release or something.
C
Or was there a tour?
A
Barrett wasn't on any of the big.
B
He was on the good ones. But he was a founding member. Maybe they sold the rights.
A
Oh, I think they might have.
B
They might have sold the rights like Apple or something.
C
And that could have taken kicked in this past year. Notorious B.I.G.
B
80 million because he was a founding member. So I think he probably had ownership of the name Sid or the family.
A
Or whatever Tupac on the list.
C
He was not in the top 10. I don't even have his rundown. But Miles Davis still takes in 21 million. Your boy Jimmy Buffett, 14 million. Bob Marley, 13 million.
B
Bob Marley still 13. He had a movie out, too, so his was a little bigger.
C
Prince, 11 million. Arnold Palmer, 11 million.
B
Palmer and Prince. Never thought those two would be comboed together. That's like iced tea and water, isn't it? It's not the same thing. You gotta have some lemonade in there to make it tasty. But Arnold Palmer and Prince are tied. And who brings up the most money for dead people?
D
Shocking that Marley's making more than both of them.
B
Is Arnold Palmer because of the A T. Has to be.
C
That's a. That's a chunk of it, yeah.
B
What else would it be?
C
He's got his own golf line clothing.
B
Does he?
C
Yeah.
B
Does anyone wear it? Or is it just really old men?
D
Here we go. Ceiling tiles.
C
I don't see it too often.
B
You don't see it too well. I don't either.
C
Brad checks the time. Yep.
B
Yep.
C
Little John has released an album of guided meditations featuring remixed versions. Versions of his hits like Turn down for what? And. Yeah. And Get Low. He's got other guts on there. He's basically remixed them for meditation for him. He says, there's a time in my life where there's lots of stuff going on and meditation and saying affirmations help me get back into a positive mindset.
B
You can sound bold. Turn down for what? Skeet Skeet, Skeet, Skeet. Yeah.
C
Have it.
B
You can sound bold right there. No, I got it. Yeah, you can sound. That's. Some people will meditate to turn down for water. We play that every time TJ gets a sack. That is not a relaxing song by any stretch. If you're turning to Little John for stress relief. How about you are stressed? Man, that is. That is not the first place I go. I gotta hear this. All right. Toledo's got it. Here we go. Is he gonna talk first or he's gonna play the song?
D
Ad's gotta be played first, apparently. Come on, now.
B
That's not gonna work. Oh, get a Reba. Reba McIntyre selling cat food or something. Perfect.
D
Lead into a Little John.
B
I think Reba McIntyre is Morse the cat reincarnated. I'm pretty sure it's the same. Same thing.
C
Well preserved.
B
She is incredibly preserved. What are you think, Richard? What happened here? Is it gonna happen or not? Yeah, we just clicked on realtor.com. well, this is just an interview. There's a time in my life where the locks people really well too. To do nothing for. He ain't playing it. Damn it. If you're not gonna play the song, I don't want to hear it. Yeah, if you have to, click on. All right, More done here. Yeah, we're too hard. Darn it. Larry's coming up next. You guys can Google that yourselves. We don't have a crew that can. $3,000. Larry's got it. The Excellent Adventure is starting now. So we're trying to give you. Is that it?
A
Some silence.
C
If you're feeling stressed out or your life is just a little out of whack, it may be time to take a deep breath, relax, and say yeah to life.
B
And he's stealing money is what he's doing.
C
Wow.
A
Hey, props to him if morons are.
B
Going to do it. Anybody buys that you've been. You've been robbed. Larry's Excellent Adventures back. Big red radio and Valley Toyota dealers want to give you $3,000. The Excellent Adventure is here. You can listen to Larry at 11:00am and what is that? Oh, my God. That's 51 minutes away. He's going to give you the code word to enter again, just like what we're doing. Only now Larry's trying to give you three grand. Thousands of dollars going out the door here. So listen to Larry and try to find out how you can win $3,000 from Larry, us here at 98 KUPD and the Valley Toyota dealers. Easy peasy. The Excellent adventure begins soon.
D
Yes, I'm out tonight for the Monday Night Football.
C
Yeah.
D
The Twin Peaks at Tempe Marketplace.
B
There you go.
D
Be there until about halftime. From bang time to halftime. 5:30 till about 7:30.
B
All right? Right. Is it a newer one? A newer one?
A
What?
B
Twin Peaks.
D
It's the newest one, I believe.
C
Oh, yeah.
B
Awesome stuff, right?
A
Holds.
C
We were there a couple weeks ago.
B
Yes.
C
All right, get on there.
D
Go see proximity to asu.
B
It's right there. Go see Toledo tonight over in Tempe. Watch the Cardinals. Go Cardinals. Everybody have a great day. We'll see you tomorrow on the morning Sickness. So long, Arizona's most powerful rock radius. He said fully erect.
C
I'm Mike King from the podcast Profiling Evil. A place where true crime meets behavioral science. I spent my career investigating serial predators and studying the psychology behind them. Here, we don't just talk about what criminals did. We explore why they do what they they do. We expose manipulation and control, look at how offenders select their victims and uncover the ways that they try to avoid detection. You can find profiling evil on your favorite podcast platform.
This lively episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness finds John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo ribbing on everything from football recaps and sports superstitions to the jarring experience of emergency phone alerts, relationship dynamics (especially among their gay friends), and the peculiarities of adulthood. The tone is irreverent as always, mixing biting sarcasm with Arizona-centric observation, inside jokes, and plenty of self-deprecation.
Summary prepared for listeners who missed the chaos, laughs, and Arizona-centric satire of Holmberg's Morning Sickness of Nov 3, 2025.