11-03-25 - We Speak For Everyone Being Against Turquoise Alerts Going On At 530am On A Sunday - John Took Larry To A Suns Game - Holmberg Hosted Charity Event Still In His Halloween Makeup And Pooped His Pants The Night Before

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Episode 11-03-25

Title: We Speak For Everyone Being Against Turquoise Alerts Going On At 5:30am On A Sunday
Date: November 3, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Station: 98KUPD, Arizona

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Main Theme

The episode revolves around a hilarious and pointed group rant against Arizona’s “Turquoise Alert” waking the crew—and the entire city—at 5:30 AM on a Sunday. Holmberg rallies listeners against emergency alerts for missing persons at such early hours, discusses etiquette for mass alerts, and touches on lighter weekend stories including taking Larry McFeely to a Suns game, hosting a charity event in elaborate Halloween makeup, and a potty mishap.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Universal Outrage Over the “Turquoise Alert” (01:11–12:08, 13:19–15:34; 31:12–34:15)

• Holmberg takes the lead voicing collective fury about being woken up by a statewide Turquoise Alert before dawn on Sunday to search for a missing 4'10", 100 lb Pacific Islander girl.
• Criticizes the logic and timing of sending statewide alerts for cases most can't help with, especially at "hours that should be sacred."
• Compares the unifying annoyance to 9/11:

  "This is a big one we can unite on. This is like 9/11. If whoever hits the button for a turquoise alert does that again at 5:30 in the morning... I'm gonna crawl through the phone... I'm gonna kill you on behalf of everybody." (02:27)

• Considers the practicality and racial implications of color-coded alerts:

  "Isn't it racist to have color-coded missing person alerts? You wouldn't send out a yellow alert if an Asian went missing. I think they would. I think that's what they do. A turquoise alert." (07:09, Holmberg)

• Discusses how recipients feel:

  "You made us hate the little girl for going missing at that late at night." (07:42, Holmberg) "No one woke up and said, oh good, that happened. It was the worst thing. It was a joke." (06:26, Holmberg)

• Indignant about expecting the public to spring into action:

  "If it's a nuke coming in, don't wake me for that either. I'd rather be asleep through that." (05:32, Holmberg)

• Admits wanting the Turquoise Alert sender to "go missing" themselves.
• Listeners’ feedback includes:

  "I was so pissed when that alarm went off I started rooting for the kidnapper." (07:41, Kyle, via audience feedback)

• The team investigates if alerts can be turned off and rails against tech that doesn’t allow muting “non-essential” alerts at night.

Notable Quotes:

• "Do not wake me for people I don't know being kidnapped, stolen, whatever. I'm sorry for this being a tragic thing, but that's why we have police, FBI..." (03:29, Holmberg)
• "No one did...Not a soul looked at that and said 'Honey, wake up, we have to go look for this little girl.' Nobody did. They just got mad..." (06:36, Holmberg)
• "Don't make me hate victims by waking me at 5 in the morning." (09:50, Holmberg)
• "The only missing Samoas I'm worried about are when the girl scouts don't deliver mine…I don't want an alert for that either." (10:56, Listener Andrew via Holmberg)

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2. The Weekend: Suns Game With Larry McFeely (15:34–20:59)

• Holmberg tells a rare tale: convincing notoriously homebody Larry to join him (and Anthony, Dr. Brink) at a Suns game.
  • Larry, being extra careful, drinks only a ginger ale—explains his tummy “hurt.”

    “He said tummy out loud. Couldn’t you say it was kind of cute? …It’s not what adults do, but that’s okay.” (16:23, Holmberg)

• The misadventures at the Rah Rah Room:
  • Post-game, Holmberg gets to hang out with Suns player Royce O’Neale and his fiancée and friends, but only after Larry leaves.

    “It was the second Larry left, we’re hanging out with the Suns. …I’m in Royce O’Neale’s gang. Pretty awesome. Larry’s not. Larry left. Larry left. Because it’s Tum Tum.” (19:31, Holmberg)

• Social awkwardness as staff had been rattled by a recent firing, changing the vibe.
• Running joke: Larry may need his own “alert” if he ever goes off-grid.

  “Maybe his daughter put out the turquoise alert because he wasn’t home.” (18:05, Brett)

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3. Night of the Singing Dead: Halloween Costumes and Chaos (21:00–23:40)

• Recaps the annual event’s highlights:
  • Fans dressed as show hosts; custom jerseys with playful nicknames.

    “People had football jerseys printed up… We had Libtard for Toledo. People donor. I had Dumb Broad for mine.” (22:55, Brett and John)

  • Multiple people went as Katie Hobbs; some as Brett Vesely “in Blues Brother mode.”

    “His girlfriend was dressed as Katie Hobbs…I met him after…” (21:52, Brett)

  • Host sidetracks into audience costume creativity and “show-centric” costuming.

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4. The Charity Brunch—Hosting in Halloween Makeup (23:41–26:53)

• Holmberg hosts the Lost Our Home Pet Rescue "Sit Stay Brunch" still in elaborate “Herbert” Halloween prosthetics—a three-and-a-half-hour process to remove.
  • Amusing recounting: a donor mistook him at a distance for “the ugliest person I have ever seen,” not realizing it was makeup.

    “From a distance, I did not know you were in makeup...There is no doubt in my life that that is the ugliest person I have ever seen… I don’t know how you leave the house.” (25:54, Holmberg quoting Bruce)

  • Security at Desert Ridge mistakes him for a celebrity prankster:

    “You’re the jackass guy!” (26:54, Security, via Holmberg)

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5. The Great Pants Incident – “Pooped My Pants the Night Before” (26:54–30:20)

• Holmberg, on a steroid regimen, recounts an accidental bowel movement while costume shopping.
• Describes having to improvise cleanup at a hotel, destroy sweatpants, and coordinate a rescue (new shorts) via his makeup artist.
  • Humorous details: feeling the cold after the “bubble” didn’t just break, realizing he truly soiled himself.

    “I thought I just let a little squeeze out of the left cheek and it was a full chemical spill right there in my pants…like, it looked like I sat down and, you know, veal with a nice gravy on top.” (28:53, Holmberg) “My streak is over. It’s only been three days since I last sh*t my pants…” (29:42, Holmberg)

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6. Further Riffs: Color-Coded Alerts & Social Satire (31:12–34:15)

• Tough dialogue about why colors are used for different missing persons alerts and if it serves any function besides confusion or racism.

  “Every missing person is equal. The only race they are is missing.” (33:00, Holmberg)

  • Suggestions for “Silver,” “Jade,” “IKEA,” “ABBA” alerts.
  • Listeners’ location banter: on neighborhoods, stereotypes, and joking about avoiding certain areas (“Maryvale Alert”).

    “Every time I pass Central and I’m on Indian School…my phone goes off and says, ‘What are you doing? …Have you been abducted? Why are you going to Maryvale?’” (34:20, Holmberg)

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7. Weekend Sports Recap (34:15–36:56)

• Recaps a dramatic World Series game—“Greatest baseball game I have ever watched.”
• Steelers' win, Suns, Dodgers; jabs at Dodgers fans’ unpopularity.

  “No one likes you. But, my God, congratulations…” (36:12, Holmberg)

• Side story: Tripp’s history in L.A. and missed chance to see the OJ Simpson chase.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Do not bother me or any of these people that are listening right now ever again. Dude, who hits the button to find people. And turquoise alert, isn’t that for Native Americans? It was also insulting because Samoans and Pacific Islanders aren’t Native Americans. So you just lobbed them in there because they’re kind of brown.” (04:01, John Holmberg)
• “I wish the dude who hits the button that starts those alerts was abducted and never found. I’m not looking for him ever again either.” (06:36)
• “Maybe his daughter put out the turquoise alert because he wasn’t home.” (18:05, Brett)
• “My streak is over. It’s only been three days since I last [pooped] my pants…” (29:42, Holmberg)
• “Every missing person is equal. The only race they are is missing.” (33:00)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:11–12:08 — The Turquoise Alert Outrage
• 13:19–15:34 — More on sleeping through the alert
• 15:34–20:59 — The Larry McFeely Suns Game Adventure
• 21:00–23:40 — Night of the Singing Dead, Costumes & Audience Participation
• 23:41–26:53 — Hosting the Charity Brunch in Makeup
• 26:54–30:20 — The Pants Incident: “I Sh*t Myself”
• 31:12–34:15 — Color Alerts & Neighborhood Stereotypes
• 34:15–36:56 — Sports Recap: World Series, Dodgers, Steelers, Suns

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Tone & Style

True to Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, the episode blends Arizona-centric humor, sharp wit, playful banter, self-deprecating anecdotes, and irreverent social commentary—the tone is light, sarcastic, and candid with flashes of sincerity about public safety and community charity.

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For New Listeners

This episode is quintessential “Morning Sickness”: half hard-hitting rant, half ridiculous personal tales—offering a sense of morning radio camaraderie, local flavor, and a comic perspective on everything from public policy to pants emergencies.

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Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday November. It's 5:45. My name is John Holmberg. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Big Dick Toledo. This is the Morning Sickness and we are off and running on a wonderful monopher Brady. So much victory Monday for everybody in the room except Brady and his Bengals who managed to make a mess out of that weird ass Bears Bengals game. But Brett got the win. Nice job. Toledo got his team just clobbering last night. Suns beat the spurs and like handled them. You had the Steelers winning. We're all happy. I mean if the Cardinals. Here's a little stat about tonight. Gamblers and Dale brought it up. Kyler Murray's never in his life lost in inside Dallas's stadium. High school, college or pros so.

[Brett Vesely]

But he's not playing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, still going. So you still be in there. So he's never lost. If he's been in the room, he's never lost. So does it, does it extend to tonight? Oh yeah, I think so too. I think if he's on the sidelines, it's just him.

[Brady]

If he's dressed.

[John Holmberg]

If he's dressed, we'll get into football a little bit. Let me be the spokesperson for all of us. Everybody gather round. Down on one knee if you don't mind. City Phoenix down on one knee real quick. Have a little talk. I don't know who I'm talking to. I don't know how to do this properly, but I'm going to tell you something. I'm speaking for everybody. This is the, this is a big one we can unite on. This is, this is like 9 11. If whoever hits the button for a turquoise alert does that again at 5:30 in the morning to look for a 4 foot 10 inch Pacific Islander ever again, I'm gonna crawl through the phone, I'm gonna find him. I'm gonna kill you on behalf of everybody. You do not on a Sunday morning. You do not wake people to look for people they don't know on a Sunday morning. You just don't do it. I'm right behind you and you can't. I, I'm not getting paid for this. I'm not shooting out of bed five in the morning.

[Brady]

What did you think happened?

[John Holmberg]

I thought someone was at my house banging in the. That's the only time I want that alert to go off is if they're like, hey John, somebody's breaking into your house. Do not wake me. For people I don't know being kidnapped, stolen, whatever. I'm sorry for this being a tragic thing, but that's why we have police, FBI, that's why we have don't bother me till 8 or 9 exactly. 8 or 9 o' clock early. Do not do that.

[Brady]

At 5 in the 5:23 it went off. I looked up, I'm like, oh, I just slept in for work. That's how much it threw me for. And Ronnie's like, no, it's Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

No, I knew, I knew it was, I was aware of the day. I understand that completely because that makes tons of sense. I thought nukes were coming in at us. Four foot ten inch, hundred pound Samoan, the smallest Samoan of all time. No, I can't find that. They're the easiest ones to hide. Do not bother me or any of these people that are listening right now ever again. Dude, who hits the button to find people. And turquoise alert, isn't that for Native Americans? It was also insulting because Samoans and Pacific Islanders aren't Native Americans. So you just lobbed them in there because they're kind of brown. It's also a racist thing. Five in the morning. You do not ask me to look for anybody. Don't. Ever again. Every person in the world. There are people with, you know, post traumatic stress disorder, heart issues, medical prayer. You can't have that alarm go. If that is a jarring noise, don't do it again. Apple or anyone else in charge of that. Those mother. Did they find the kid?

[Brett Vesely]

No, we're still looking.

[John Holmberg]

We're still looking. So that didn't even waited a couple hours. So it didn't even work?

[Brady]

No, I thought at least they could have just done it to Mesa and Gilbert because that probably has the heaviest population.

[Brett Vesely]

No, I live in Mesa. You're in Gilbert.

[Brady]

What do you get?

[John Holmberg]

Why are you asking the Mormon factor now you get eight. Eight o' clock is the.

[Brady]

There's a lot of jet.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, then send it to LDS phones only. Do not send it to me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'll go this far if it's a nuke coming in. Don't wake me for that either. I'd rather be asleep through that. Why are you. I would rather just not wake up and have the noise get me. The hell was that? And then it's over. I do not want anyone to jar me awake at five in the morning ever again to do a job that we have people being paid to do. That would be like Larry calling me 10 years ago at 12:30 in the morning, just as, you know, just coming over to my house and just like banging on the door. Chuck, wake up. Brett didn't show up for work. That's not my job. I am not a look for the Pacific Islander guy at all, let alone 5am on Sunday hours later. Yeah, I'll get up after.

[Brady]

A good chance you won't remember that alert after you fall asleep again.

[John Holmberg]

No one. No one woke up and said, oh, good, that happened. It was the worst thing. It was a joke. You don't ever do it.

[Byron]

Go out there.

[John Holmberg]

No, no one did. Not a soul looked at that and said, honey, wake up. We have to go look for this little girl. Nobody did. They just got mad and started. Probably a lot of people wishing that terrible things happened. I wish the dude who hits the button that starts those alerts was abducted and never found. I'm not looking for him ever again either.

[Brett Vesely]

You didn't grab your keys and jump right in the jeep and go looking or what?

[John Holmberg]

No, no. The only thing. Look, if it was like that alert when I said you got to see this 900 pound Samoan on the loose running down the freeway and it's by my house. Maybe, but the smallest of all Pacific Islanders. 4 foot 10 inches, 100 pounds. That's a Samoan midget. I want to see it, but I'm not gonna look for that. She'll be like behind a bus bench and you won't see her. A giant Samoan maybe, but not at 5 in the morning. It was horrible. It says, isn't it racist to have color coded missing person alerts? You wouldn't send out a yellow alert if an Asian went missing. I think they would. I think that's what they do. A turquoise alert.

[Brett Vesely]

Wait till 8.

[John Holmberg]

At least we've got a missing Samoan. So what? Said all of us. You made us hate the little girl for going missing that late at night. It says I never got an alert. What the hell? Maybe it was only alerts the whites because I'm native. Aiden. Yeah? You're not alerting them. Wait a minute. Turquoise alerts aren't hitting the native population. Aiden, I need more information. Oh, if the Indians didn't get it. Oh my God. This one says Kyle says I was so pissed when that alarm went off I started rooting for the kidnapper. I'm not gonna lie, Kyle. I'm not gonna lie. I thought the same thing. I wanted the kidnapper to go right over to. Who does that? What job is that? Where is that button? Where is the. I don't know because I'm gonna go sock that guy right in. Missing person at five in the morning on a Sunday? They'll still be missing at 8. Wake me then. Say, dude, three hours ago we didn't want to say anything. There's some kid missing. Like, well, I saw the fugitive. Tommy Lee Jones knows the average foot speed of a man. Put a three hour window on that. We could get probably. We can get to California by then. Put everybody on it. Don't alert me for that nonsense. I almost killed somebody.

[Brett Vesely]

Josh wants to know if there's a jade alert for the Asians.

[John Holmberg]

I almost spit my drink out. We go jade for Asians. We can't go yellow. I like jade for Asians.

[Brett Vesely]

He's trying to be politically correct.

[John Holmberg]

It's even better. This says, you know, you can turn those off. Can you? I didn't know that. I thought it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I found out yesterday and I turned everything off. I don't care if a nuclear bomb's gone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I thought the emergency alerts kind of went over everything from what I.

[Brett Vesely]

Read it, like, if it's a presidential thing, it'll go through no matter what.

[John Holmberg]

But if it's like what I read on the Internet, I'm like, how do I turn this off? And I said, you can't. Oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

And then they get. Of course you get the Tom. This is why Android users have auto sleep mode. It does the alert shut off. Way to go, Apple. I.

[John Holmberg]

Way to go. We are itards. You're right.

[Brett Vesely]

No, because my wife's an app. An Android user.

[John Holmberg]

And hers. She got hers too. Damn it. God damn it. Yeah, this one said, I wanted to give the chic that's gonna buy that little girl some money. I didn't go that far. That's terrible. And it's terrible to do. Did they find her? That's her already found the story. I. I'm not. It's not there. I hope somebody finds her. The tragedy of it is terrible, but don't make. Don't make me hate victims by waking me at 5 in the morning. I didn't know you could turn that off. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Well, that's a beautiful thing. This one said I don't have my alerts off. I'm Native American and Mexican and I never got one. Oh, well, then I'm speaking for all the people who did. I thought those things because when I went on Google, I'm like, how the hell do I turn these off? I'm with you. Even if it was nukes, I do not care. Five in the morning on a Sunday, I do not care.

[Brett Vesely]

Pesci and Pacino are about the only ones. I want missing person alerts.

[John Holmberg]

And it has to be close, man.

[Brett Vesely]

De Niro can wait. I'm good.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If dinero. I'm not around anymore. I'm lost. Turquoise alert. Oh, we have like a ragu alert for this one. Says, the only missing Samoas I'm worried about are when the girl scouts don't deliver mine. Andrew. Yeah, and I don't want an alert for that either. It was jarring. Yeah. I went on Google right after. I'm like, how do I shut that off? And it said on the super emergencies, it's you can't do it. But maybe that was just presidential. Like, what does that. I look and I also, you know, here's the other thing. I didn't shut that alarm off because I'm a decent human being. If I'm awake in the daytime and there's something going on and that alarm goes off, I'm like, oh, if I can help, I will. But I didn't know they were going to abuse me while I slept. Reasonable times. I'm nine to five. Nine even on a Sunday. And nine's a little early. Nine to five. You can ask me to help the police and FBI to find some people that just got nabbed. But. But off hours, do it yourselves. That's enough. I'll keep my alarms on just in case, but nothing better than being like a grocery store in public place. One of those goes off on a monsoon or something and everybody's. Everybody's phones goes crazy and all you hear is God damn it.

[Brett Vesely]

Everybody's trying to get their phone out of their pockets.

[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness Medicate. KU pd.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Bret, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

I feel a little lazy about the whole thing. And it went off 5:23. And then later that morning, you know, about an hour later or so wake up. I don't look in into it anything.

[John Holmberg]

Oh no, no, no. Brady, it's you. Are you're not being paid for that.

[Brady]

What am I open for again?

[John Holmberg]

I just remember I got enough on my plate than to take on the job of the FBI for human trafficking at 5 on a Sunday.

[Brady]

I got Halloween to take.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you got to take that. You got a big day, man. You've got a big day. I had a lot. I had a long week, a big weekend. I needed some sleep and come around on Sunday morning, and it would have been nice to just roll right in and wake up with a care in the world. No alarms. It's a beautiful thing. I've been living a life of no alarms most of this year. Beautiful thing. And that thing just exploded me. This one said, john, did you hear? Or Brett, did you hear John's heavy hint? He said he wishes the person responsible for the missing persons button would then go missing themselves and maybe never be found. Never be found, he says, Brett, never be found. Make that happen. Jonathan is right. That was brutal. All right, well, I'm gonna fix it, but I'm glad I could make it. I could be a spokesperson again. I'm not trained. I'm not. I have no training for people seeking. I'm, you know, I don't know how to look for stuff. I don't know what you expected me to do. I didn't even look out the window. And normally, like on the freeways and stuff, when they have an alert and say, this person's missing and here's the license, I'll look at the cars around me and I'm like, nothing. And then I'm done with it. Like most people, we pass it. We look. Is that a. What kind of. Oh, it's a Hyundai Elantra. No, not driving by any of those. I did my part. I'm not. I didn't even peek. I didn't even peek to see if she was laying in my yard. Nothing. I angrily went right back to sleep rooting for the bad guys. And I don't think that's the goal. Kevin says, have you ever been to a sports event? When that goes off, it actually is kind of cool. No, but that would be neat. I would like to like to go to a Suns game. And by the way, talk about missing persons out and about. I went to a Suns game last night with Larry McFeely. No way. I know, I know. He left the house, you guys.

[Brady]

Is he off this week?

[Brett Vesely]

Did you bring Devin Booker to his house?

[John Holmberg]

Are you sure?

[Brett Vesely]

Were. Were you at the arena?

[John Holmberg]

I did, yeah. The Suns did have to agree to all move to Larry's place? No, Larry left the house, got dressed and stuff and went downtown to hang out with me and a couple of guy, Anthony and Dr. Brink.

[Brady]

And Anthony, Was he shaking the whole time?

[John Holmberg]

Larry was fine. He wasn't even like a scared wet puppy at all. No, he was everything. It was fine.

[Brett Vesely]

Do they have Midoriya in the Rah Rah?

[John Holmberg]

Well, he didn't ask. He wasn't drinking. His tummy hurt, so he had a ginger ale. It was a little bit embarrassing, but still. We went to the Rah Rah room and Larry had a ginger Alex and said his tummy hurt and that's okay. He was out of the house. It was amazing. Might have been a little bit gayer order than the Midori. Say, my tummy hurts. Can I have a ginger ale? Okay, that's. I guess that's all right.

[Brett Vesely]

Did he say tummy too?

[John Holmberg]

He did. He. He said tummy. He. Wow. He said tummy out loud. Couldn't you say kind of cute? It was adorable. I'm not gonna say it was adorable. And me and Ryan, we. We looked at him. That's all right. It's not what adults do, but that's okay. You're out of the house. And I had to explain, you know, the sommelier, Ryan was like, is he really serious about ginger? Does he want some bitters in it? And I'm like, you're not his grandmother. Just make him the ginger ale. And you don't have to worry about his tum tum after this. But he did.

[Brady]

He had ginger ale and oatmeal.

[John Holmberg]

And then Anthony wanted to have dinner. So Anthony treated us to dinner at the Rah Rah and Larry got a full experience there, even though the vibe was a little off because there was a recent dismissal and certain people thought it was their fault. Certain people didn't. So Larry was. Larry was privy to everybody being on there, being on their toes, that there's a possible culling down there.

[Brett Vesely]

Jonathan wants to know. He didn't know that the. The Rah rah room had PB&J on the menu.

[John Holmberg]

Restless PB&J. Larry did get that. PB&J. And it was good. It was fun. Getting Larry out of the house was shocking. And he told me as we left, because Larry's always diligent about work. Don't forget the code words tomorrow. Bye, Larry. And there it is. Six o'. Clock. Monetary is the first code word for this morning for your app. Get on the app and put monetary and the six o' clock box and you Got that thing together, and you can be on your way to winning another thousand dollars, which is as easy as it gets if you can just spell a word. Monetary. M, O, N, E, T, A, R, Y.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe his daughter put out the turquoise alert because he wasn't home. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

That would have not surprised me. We're looking for a. A slight Jewish boy who, drinking a.

[Brett Vesely]

Ginger yarmica alert, goes out and, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Right. With his hand on his tum tum. Yeah, yeah, it was. It was fun, though. Larry was great. We had a good time. And the spurs got clobbered last night by the Suns, which was un. I got to hang out after the game a little bit with Phoenix son Royce o'. Neill. We got to. His girlfriend was standing directly next to me at the bar, and I'm talking to my buddy, and she said something, and we started to talk about the game. She goes, well, I'm. I'm Royce's fiance. I'm like, how about that? And so we started to chat her up a little bit and see what's going on. And Royce o' Neal comes wandering in with some of the sons, and we end up hanging with the boys after the game. Larry had already left when the Suns came in. Larry. The second Larry left, we're hanging out with the Suns. We've got, you know, everybody's having fun again. The vibe of firing was out of the room. It was. Larry was. Larry's like, boy, it's different than the way you normally. I'm like, it is a little different. And I'm not gonna lie to you. It's kind of quiet in here tonight. Something happened, and we had found out that earlier in the day, there'd been a Halloween weekend. Yeah. There'd been a head lobbed off in the staff, so the staff was kind of on that. Oh, you know, when there's a firing, what do we do? You know, when there's a firing in your office and you're kind of like, ooh, it's a weird kind of day. It was that way. And then as the night progressed, well, once Larry left, everybody started like, yay, it's okay. Everybody's gonna live. But it was fun. Got Larry out of the house. Has not happened in a long time. And I will say that I've been down there a million times, hung out, and Kevin Ray will come by, and we'll all chat about the game. It was a great game to talk about, plus, you know, football all day. So a lot of sports talk. But that's the first time that I've ever been there. And the Phoenix Suns hung out with me. And it was the second Larry left. And like, you should stick around. Kevin Ray's gonna come down, we'll all have. And he left. And then the next thing you know, you know Mark Williams and the crew standing there hanging out with us. And then at the end of it, Royce like, you coming back Thursday? And I'm like, well, you have to. You're playing, right? He goes, yeah, just, you know. And his brother was there. He goes, keep an eye on my boy. All right. So I'm like, I'm in the crew now. I've been Royce o' Neill's gang. Pretty awesome. Larry's not. Larry left. Larry left. Because it's Tum Tum. But, you know, the game was already over and he was done. He got. He's got his lift. He's like, I'm gonna go. I'm like, no, stick around. The fun's just beginning. And not kidding, that door couldn't have hit Larry in the ass faster. And it's like, is he gone? And then confetti and people and just. It was great anyway. But I got him out of the house.

[Brady]

Must not have been in a waymo in a while.

[John Holmberg]

Who, Larry? Yeah, he got to a lift. He did a lift, which maybe he might have waymoed home. But he lifted in because he wanted to get there fast. It was. It was very strange.

[Brady]

And for those loves those way most.

[John Holmberg]

I love those waymos. But he had to hurry. I told him, because at like five, I'm like, game starts at six. So there's no waymo time from where you live to the. It'll take forever going surface streets. All in. So he lifted in. He got there on time. We had nice. It was nice. It was a lovely evening. But getting him out, it's fun. Speaking of lovely evening, what a weekend. It was great. Night of the Singing Dead on Friday night was absolutely a blast. We couldn't have had more fun. All the people, all the costumes. Some of my favorite things that happened on Night of the Singing Dead Friday was seeing the people in costume dressed as us.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

And there were multiple Brett Vesely's, which a guy had shirts made. It was pretty great. Yeah, he looked. I looked at from the stages, I looked out at everybody. I would see that. And I'm like, Brett's dressed as a blues brother. When did he change back? And then I'm like, wait, that's a Suicidal tendencies hat. Oh, yeah, the lopes he had everything.

[Brett Vesely]

His girlfriend was dressed as Katie Hobbs.

[John Holmberg]

I know. It was fantastic. I met him afterwards and we were talking. It was awesome. And then I go, and there's another Katie Hobbs. Yeah, like there were a couple. Katie Hobbs. Yeah. Yeah. Well, geez, Brady. That was rude. I didn't know we were judging. Okay, okay. There was a she don't like me. Oh, no, no. There's a clear winner and loser in Brady's costume contest. We didn't know Brady was judging, but yeah, that was a few of those. It was fun. It was just a fun night all the way around.

[Brett Vesely]

Campaign stickers made with Katie plus Brett and. And ones for Matthia. Katie, Brett's grandma with Katie Hobbs name on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It was very show centric. Costumes that made me laugh. But it was fun. It was a great time.

[Brett Vesely]

Let me rewind.

[Brady]

I did not see the second.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have to. You made it. You made the mess.

[Brady]

Because I knew the first.

[John Holmberg]

Don't make me put an alert out for your pride because you said it now. You got to live with it.

[Brett Vesely]

How about the football jerseys?

[John Holmberg]

Realized football jerseys. Amazing. People had football jerseys printed up with. What was the guy that had mine on?

[Brett Vesely]

Juno's.

[John Holmberg]

Juno's on the back of his jersey, which was.

[Brett Vesely]

We had Libtard.

[John Holmberg]

Libtard for Toledo. People donor.

[Brett Vesely]

I had dumb broad for mine. I was like, I want that jersey.

[John Holmberg]

I need that one. I liked all of them. I'll take Juno's and wander around with that. People ask questions. It's a former Steeler great named Janase. That was great. The show went really well and we had a blast doing it. And CB Live opened up just for us for that and just crushed. So it was so much fun. And we did a nice thing. And then. And the makeup. You can see all the pictures and videos. I'm sure we have them up. Was done by a girl named Annie Domi. And she's amazing and she did a great job. And then I had to host on Saturday. At the end of the night, I had to sleep in that giant thing because it takes about three and a half hours to get all that off properly. And I'm like, I'm not. I'm tired.

[Brady]

Diving in.

[John Holmberg]

I've got to get up and host this brunch tomorrow. And it hurts. Like my face turned bright red. While you scrub it off. I'm still getting some off now. I just did it right there. I can roll the glue. It's still on my face. There's nothing you can do for like A few days of just washing and washing. I can't scrub anymore. It hurts really bad. So I did the the Lost Her Home Pet Rescue Sit Stay brunch on Saturday. I hosted that with, with the makeup on. And it was, you know, it was Herbert from Hilarious Family Guy and it, it was pretty great to see Herbert wander up. I got a call after the event from a guy named Bruce who had very nice things to say. Now, if you've seen me in the makeup, you know what I'm talking about it go ahead and hit our Instagram and our Facebook and take a look at what I looked like because this story will make more sense.

[Dick Toluto]

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[Comedy Announcer]

All right, HMS podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week downtown at Stand Up Live. You've got Moshe Kasher and the pride of Jacksonville, Florida, Lil Duvall performing Desert Ridge up north features the very funny Hans Kim and Eastside at the Tempe. Improv has two entertaining comedians with Alvin Kuwait and Basim Yousef. For the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com Desert Ridge improv.com and Tempe improv.com.

[John Holmberg]

Bruce calls me up. He's a donor. He's one of the board members, I believe. And he calls me and he said he wanted to do something nice. He had really nice things to say. It was amazing. Call. And then he said, I have to be honest with you. He goes, when I first walked into the event, I saw you in the corner in the sound stage talking to Leticia, who is this amazing auctioneer lady. She's incredible. So I'm talking to Leticia and I'm in the full makeup. And he said, I just stared because from a distance, I did not know you were in makeup. And he said, I'm not kidding when I tell you, I said to the person next to me, there is no doubt in my life that that is the ugliest person I have ever seen. And he said, the guy next to him staring into the. What? That guy over there. I don't know how you leave the house. I don't know that I would if I looked like him. And they had a conversation about it because they were far enough away to see this thing was standing in the corner. And it's so realistic.

[Brady]

If you didn't say anything.

[John Holmberg]

If I didn't, I would. Half of. I didn't want. Half the crowd would have wondered, is that a real human being? The makeup is so good. When I was walking around before the show on Friday, I took the walker out and just started to walk around Desert Ridge, and a security guard stopped me, and he goes, eh, man, it's Jamaican. I know who you are. I'm like, do you Do. I've seen you on tv. You have? Yeah. You're that guy that goes around dressed like an old man and makes fun of people. Like, no. Yeah, you're the jackass guy. And I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not Johnny Knox fella at all. It was great. It was a lot of fun. People didn't know. And even more fun was prior to getting the makeup on, I was driving to Target to buy a robe, and I. I accidentally. Myself in the car because I've been on prednisone for a week, and that makes you poop like a goose. And so I was. I thought. I just let a little squeeze out of the left cheek, and it was a full chemical spill right there in my pants. And I only had a pair of gray sweatpants. Gray. It would have been perfect had I been in makeup. I wasn't. I was just me with a pantload of. And I had to figure out in the middle of a very busy day how to get. I was at Desert Ridge. I went to. I was going to the Target to buy a robe and slippers for the costume, and I dumped them midway through. And I'm like, I haven't. I can't go home. I don't have time. So I had to go over to the hotel across the way. I put a T shirt in the back of my pants and mopped up some of the gravy ran into there, checked in, got a room, and then showered up and then started to wash my pants in the sink. Well, they were light gray sweat shorts. They were ruined. Like, it looked like I sat down and, you know, veal with a nice gravy on top. It was. And so I. And luckily, the makeup girl, Annie, calls, and she goes, hey, I gotta stop by Target real quick. I'm. Oh, my God. Thank God. Buy me this. Buy me this. But she got me shorts, so I was covered. But I haven't done that in a while. My streak is over. It's only been three days since I last my pants. And then prior to that, it's been years. So I had one of those. I'll just let a little out. And then I sat there and I'm like, you know how sometimes you do that and it's a bubble and you feel like, did I just. And then hope it's, Did I just. Am I sitting in my own. And then the boop happens. And you're like, nope, we're good. We're clear. I did the. Oh. And I kept waiting for the bubble to break. And I realized as I moved, it sloshed or something. Like, made a. Like, I squished it. Like, temperature change. It was. Well, no, you know what was weird? It was cold, like, almost immediately because I lift it up. Oh. And I sat back down, and I'm like, the bubble didn't break. And then. And then the air conditioner was on, and I'm like, it's getting cold. There's some liquid in there. And I didn't want to reach in and find out I was wrong. So I just kind of did that scooch thing. And real realized, yeah, John, you just. Your pants. And there's nothing you can do about it at this point. And you have a light barrier of sweatpant material and ass. That's it. That they were meeting. It was rough. It was a rough one. Then I had to somehow or another. Yeah. In the car.

[Brett Vesely]

And.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. And then because of the chaos of stuff in the T shirt in the back to cover up, I left my Jeep just running in the parking lot. And I go inside, and I'm clean up, I shower, and I get everything. Annie shows up after she's shopping, and she goes, is your Jeep. The black Jeep out there? And I'm like, yeah, why? She goes, it's running. I'm like, it is. She goes, yeah, you left it. I've been in there for like an hour and ten minutes now, just washing my Ass that's been on. Evidently, the whole. I'm like, I am a moron. They're off to a rough start on Friday, but it ended up being great. It's a great one, but a lot of fun. And then the turquoise alert happened Sunday morning. I'm glad to be your spokesperson. A lot of people are screaming. He said. This one said, what did that family do? And I think, isn't that Brett's old neighborhood for the girl that got missing was sort of close to you. Dobson and Broadway, Florida North.

[Brett Vesely]

I was Dobson and Basin, Guadalupe. But, yeah, close enough.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't live over there no more. Ain't my none of my business.

[John Holmberg]

Kind of where you were now. People go missing a great shot.

[Brett Vesely]

Not there no more.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, I hope they find the kid, but that was just unacceptable. It says, you might want to give that guy a history lesson about Mexicans and Native Americans. No one told him about conquistadors, and that's how you became Mexicans. That used to be Native Americans weren't native to. Yeah, it's true. And I don't know what kind of color we have for that. And if that. I don't need a history lesson for every missing person that goes by. But if you go missing, just put missing person alert. Why do we have to have a color on it? Is it more important to find someone in the turquoise than it would. What's the one for me? Alabaster. Like, what is my color missing? White guy.

[Brett Vesely]

Some IKEA alert.

[John Holmberg]

Silver. Yeah. Do I get. Yeah. Do we get a yellow and blue? Do we get a Stockholm syndrome alert? What is the Swedish alert?

[Brett Vesely]

An ABBA alert?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's it. Mamma mia. Someone's missing. They just. They shoot out an ABBA alert for Swedes when we go missing. Maybe. I don't know. But I boy wanted to punch every wall in the house when that happened. And you know what? I went right back to sleep. And I hate to say it. I've never heard of a missing kid before where I'm like, oh, that's tragic. But her. I'm tired, and I'm right back to sleep. Terrible, terrible human being for that. And we have to come up with that. I think that somebody needs to say it's racist. Is that on the ballot tomorrow is to get the racist color coding of missing people off?

[Brady]

It is now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Brady would have to be like, you'd be your borderline silver alert. Oh, yeah. You got to be pretty close to a silver because, I mean, medical issues. You got 55 up. I don't think it's down on. I think silver, sir. I think it's dependent on age and in medical condition. I don't think 55 is a Silver Alert. I think that's AARP. Get in there. If you're 50, 70 up, I think you'd probably be. I think you'd be in the category. I don't know. I don't know really, but I think you're in that. You're in the silver taint. I don't know what would be to be less than a silver alert. Just missing person, and that's what it should be for everyone. I firmly believe that every missing person is equal. They're not a race. The only race they are is missing. And you do have to give me their description, but I don't care to have, like, you know, Maryvale Alert. And I'm like, oh, I see. I know what I'm looking for here. Just say there's a missing person.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll never be over there.

[John Holmberg]

And then I'm never going to look for them in Maryvale. But if they're missing from Maryvale, I'll keep my eyes open. Like, you shouldn't be here. What are you doing out of Maryvale? It's true.

[Brett Vesely]

That's a Maryvale alert. Do not go any past Central and nothing east of Central. Do not alert those people.

[John Holmberg]

Every time I pass Central and I'm on Indian School, I get close to, like, 20th Avenue, my phone goes off and says, what are you doing? You're. Are you missing? Have you been abducted? Why are you going to Maryvale? My phone went off a hundred times when I golfed in Grand Canyon University. Like, do you realize where you are, John? This is out of. I. You know, I don't want to be on Friend Find or anything, but I know where you are and turn around. No, I'm supposed to be here. Phone. I'm going, no, no, no, you're in Maryvale. I'm sending out an alert. John's going, he's been kidnapped. Phone's sitting there calling me every once in a while. Do face id. Blink twice if you're okay. Yeah, it was a very strange one. So, yeah, it was a weird weekend, full of fun, frivolity. You know, the Halloween was great and I'll do it again next year, but nearly got ruined. And then when the Steelers won, I'm just. I'm just. Oh, and that World Series baseball game, to recap the whole thing, it's the greatest baseball game I've ever watched in my life. The thing almost ended four times. Bases loaded, bottom of the nine. And the play at the plate was a hair. The Blue Jays were a cleat away from being world champions. I mean, literally, the catcher's foot came off of home plate and tapped back down. It's like a tenth of a second before it almost ended on a review. And I swear to God, if the World Series would have ended on a review, I'd never watch baseball again because it was awfully darn close. But that was the best baseball game I have ever watched with that kind of consequence on it. And the. And Tripp came to my house yesterday, and Dodger coat, or had that full, you know, the Dave Roberts jersey. His Dodger head, he was full on super Dodger. And Dodger fans everywhere. No one likes you. But, my God, congratulations, because that was fun to watch. But Dodger fence, you still. Deep down, people are smiling because the game was so good. We still hate you. We still hate Dodgers.

[Brady]

He going to the parade today?

[John Holmberg]

He should. I don't know if Trip's a parade guy unless it's for him. Yeah, unless he's, like, in it. I don't think Tripp's gonna. You know, Tripp had an opportunity years ago. He lived in Los Angeles running KROC to the stars. And he's like, you know, I was right there on the 405 when OJ went by. Like, really? And he goes, yeah, we were down the road, and, you know, everybody's talking about it. I'm like, he's coming up from Orange County. That's gonna be about another 20 minutes. We could go set up shop up. I'm like, did you go see O.J. and he goes, I'm not standing on the side of the road to watch a car go by. Like, well, why did you tell me the story then?

[Brett Vesely]

Can you imagine?

[John Holmberg]

Because I could have, but I didn't.

[Brett Vesely]

Imagine Trip at the parade. I'm not hanging around a bunch of cholos around here.

[John Holmberg]

This is the East LA section. Where is the Bel Air part of the. Oh, right. That's where the Dodgers will end up. And we'll all golf and have fun. That'll be better than a parade.

[Brett Vesely]

He'd have his one button on top of his jersey. Button. Odali Holmes.

[Brady]

He stuck around the office that day making sure don't miss commercials.

[John Holmberg]

Go, Doyers. Yeah, the OJ Thing, he was like. It was right down the road. And he's like, well, we're gonna go watch OJ go by like, you didn't do it. No. We saw the people on TV who were doing it and we didn't want to hang out with them. They made me sick. So it was pretty. Yeah. So I don't think he's gonna go to the Dodgers parade unless his friend Dave Roberts calls and says, you want to ride in it. That would be pretty cool. It was a great weekend, awesome time. And now here we are. November Platio is just a few days away. We'll get to that in just a little bit. In the meantime, monetary is the word you want to put in the promo code this morning to start your day off. 6 o'. Clock. You got another 20 minutes for that one. Then we do it again at 7 o' clock and you might win a thousand bucks. It's just as easy as that. The money is sitting there and you can take it in the app. Go to our app and make that happen. Now let's get a wake up song. Five at 5,9800. Give it to us good and strong. We'll scream it together. It's 98K but he wake up Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about FanDuel. It's NBA tip off week and FanDuel is your home for live betting. FanDuel is giving new customers 300 in bonus bets if your first five dollar bet wins. So just visit fand fanduel.com kupd to sign up today and play your game with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA, 21 plus and present in Arizona. First online real money wager only five dollars. First deposit required. Bonus issued is non withdrawable bonus Fetch which expires seven days after receipt restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 533-42.

[Comedy Announcer]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. For the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com Desert Ridge Improv and tempeimprov.com.