11-04-25 - Cards Win On MNF Has Us Frustrated Because We Had To Pay For ESPN To See It Further Confusing Us As To All The TV We're Paying For - Maybe We Should Incentivize People To Act On Alerts To Find Missing People

Summary

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Episode Overview

Theme:
The episode centers around frustrations with modern TV streaming services, the costs associated with watching sports (specifically the Cardinals' win on Monday Night Football), and the increasing confusion about the TV and streaming landscape. The crew also critiques public alert systems for missing persons and muses on inventive ways to improve community involvement. As always, discussions are tinged with the group's signature acerbic wit and candid opinions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Cardinals’ Win, Kyler Murray Speculation, and the Frustration of Being a Fan

• Kyler Murray Trade Watch: John kicks things off by officially announcing the self-proclaimed "Kyler Murray Trade Watch," speculating on trade destinations (Jets, Browns, Steelers, Saints, etc.).
  • "Kyler Murray still never lost inside that building. ...I'm going to officially start it. It's Kyler Murray Trade Watch. We are on it right now." – John Holmberg (01:18)
• Cardinals' Quarterback Carousel: The crew mocks the Cardinals’ repeated cycle of drafting new QBs and trading old ones.
  • "If I was a fan of the Cardinals, I would actively be on a daily quest to talk to the right people to try to get this team moved to Mexico City as fast as possible." – John (03:47)
  • "Everything they touch turns to meh." – John (04:39)
• Game Analysis and Cowboys Derision: They dissect the recent Monday Night Football game, particularly the Cowboys’ performance and their showboating despite being outplayed.
  • "Maybe the most annoying and most arrogant Cowboys team of the last 30 years." – John (04:45)
• Fan Fandom and Franchise Critique: Discussion on how hard it is to support franchises like the Cardinals or Cowboys.
  • "Cowboy fans, the Cardinals are a better franchise over the last 30 years than you have been." – John (06:39)
• Notable Quote:
  • "Jerry Jones had the quote of the year, maybe of all time: 'I've been working on $100 billion natural gas and oil deals, so I don't have time to fix Cowboys defense.'" – John (07:01)

Timestamps:

• Cardinals talk starts: 01:11
• Kyler speculation: 01:56–05:33
• Cowboys game discussion: 05:51–07:50

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2. The Modern TV Streaming Mess: Cost, Confusion, and Nostalgia

A. Losing ESPN—and Losing Patience

• John relates the hassle and cost of watching the game due to a YouTube TV/Disney dispute, leading him to reactivate DirecTV.
  • "That game cost me 40 bucks. ...I went to find the game and I'm like, where's my—where's ESPN? It's gone." – John (08:38)
  • "My bill for television is closing in on 500 bucks a month." – John (09:29)
  • Crew discusses needing multiple apps and services to get all their sports and entertainment needs met.

B. The Streaming App Rabbit Hole

• Discussion of accidentally stacking up streaming subscriptions (Philo, Fubo, Peacock, Hulu, etc.).
  • "I had like 12 or 13 different apps that were costing me 12 or 15 bucks a month. And I'm like, I don't even know I had that." – John (10:15)
  • "You always forget that. And it just renewed it." – Brady (10:15)

C. App Fatigue & Boomer Nostalgia

• Complaints about streaming interfaces, lost simplicity of cable, the pain of switching apps, finding local channels, and all the wasted money.
  • "This system sucks. This is a convoluted mess. ...Just turn the goddamn TV on." – John (14:51)
  • "TV is a nightmare." – John (16:22)
  • "We really enjoyed the old way, but you made it so awful for us that we went on to this new thing." – John (15:58)
  • "Everything's free. Get a VPN though." – John (25:06)

D. Accidental Double Paying & Tech Overkill

• The group discovers they’re double-paying for channels, including specialty subscriptions (Hallmark et al.).
  • "You're paying seven to have those Twice. I gotta do reels, which pisses me off. Cause I gotta have Peacock to have reels." – John (20:31)
  • Conversation about smart TVs (Samsung), free channels, Firesticks, and the lengths people go for every game.

E. Failed Tech Promises

• The team jokes about universal remotes and the absurdity of TV tech upgrades that ironically make life harder.
  • "No further proof than our Internet phone system that just doesn't work." – John (23:53)

Timestamps:

• ESPN/YouTube TV issue: 08:38–09:29
• Subscription chaos: 10:04–12:56
• Streaming app annoyances: 14:51–18:46
• Discoveries about smart TVs: 20:09–22:58
• Tech gripes and nostalgia: 23:53–25:04

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3. Public Alert Systems: Broken and Annoying

• The group rails against jarring AMBER-style phone alerts at odd hours, questioning whether they actually help.
  • "The only thing it did was teach Americans...system works. Shut this thing off." – John (32:33)
• Holmberg reads an email from a listener who did get up and look for the missing person after an alert, but jokes that he's an exception.
  • "You were the only one...you're not getting any. We got one and his name is Jared..." – John (33:33)
• The hosts argue alerts backfire, mostly just waking people up and encouraging many to turn notifications off rather than help.
  • "All it did was teach people to go, well, I don't ever want that to happen again. How do I shut this off?" – John (34:10)
  • "If the alert goes off then it's more then it's important." – John (37:47)

Memorable Solution: Incentivized Alerts

• The show jokingly proposes providing financial incentives or tax breaks for finding missing people—turning it into a “game.”
  • "If you find her, you don't have to pay income tax next year. ...How quick they would find." – Brady (37:20)
  • "You put a million dollars on it and not a soul is sitting in their house. We're gonna find that little angel and it's gonna be awesome." – John (38:01)
  • "Like every house is a fire station...get out, get out, dicks out, underwear, people driving in robes..." – John (38:21)

Timestamps:

• Alert annoyance & listener email: 31:51–34:10
• Continuing alert debate & "game" idea: 34:55–38:33

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Highlight | |-----------|----------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:18 | John Holmberg | “It's Kyler Murray Trade Watch. We are on it right now.” | | 04:45 | John Holmberg | “Maybe the most annoying and most arrogant Cowboys team of the last 30 years.” | | 07:01 | John Holmberg | "Jerry Jones had the quote of the year, maybe of all time: 'I've been working on $100 billion natural gas and oil deals, so I don't have time to fix Cowboys defense.'" | | 09:29 | John Holmberg | "My bill for television is closing in on 500 bucks a month." | | 10:15 | John Holmberg | "I had like 12 or 13 different apps that were costing me 12 or 15 bucks a month. And I'm like, I don't even know I had that." | | 14:51 | John Holmberg | "This system sucks. This is a convoluted mess. Before, when we just had channels and numbers…" | | 16:22 | John Holmberg | "It is. It's a nightmare. It is. And I, you know, I'm in it. Everybody's in it. It's almost like you had to be." | | 20:31 | John Holmberg | "You're paying seven to have those Twice. I gotta do reels, which pisses me off. Cause I gotta have Peacock to have reels." | | 32:33 | John Holmberg | "The only thing it did was teach Americans in general. Oh, system works. Shut this thing off." | | 37:26 | John Holmberg | "You get a year off of income tax. Now you're going to find all of them." | | 38:01 | John Holmberg | "You put a million dollars on it and not a soul is sitting in their house. We're gonna find that little angel..." | | 39:01 | Brett Vesely | "No, it just made us pissed." |

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Section Time Guide

| Segment | Timestamps | |-----------------------|------------------| | Cardinals & Kyler | 01:11–07:50 | | Cowboys/Cards MNF | 05:51–07:50 | | TV Streaming Mess | 08:38–14:46 | | App Fatigue / Nostalgia | 14:51–19:59 | | Smart TVs/Samsung | 20:09–22:58 | | Universal Remotes/Fatigue | 23:53–27:49| | Public Alerts & Rants | 31:51–38:33 |

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Tone and Style

• Conversational, sarcastic, and openly frustrated with modern inconveniences.
• Self-deprecating, with boomer/old-man jokes about nostalgia for "the old way."
• Sardonically inventive (e.g., turning public safety into a game with incentives).

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TL;DR

This episode delivers classic "Holmberg's Morning Sickness": sharp takes on Arizona football, brutal honesty about the state of modern TV and streaming, and rants against pointless tech “progress” and public alert systems—all laced with biting humor and candid camaraderie. Fans get both entertainment and a relatable look at the aggravations of being a sports fan and a consumer in 2025.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It is 5:45. This is the morning Sickness. My name is John. There's Brady. There's Bob. Brett. Big, big Tilly. Don't. We're off and running. Area buttons are in place. Ordering okay. We're good. How about that? Like we come back today to the Cardinals swagging home from Dallas. Kyler Murray still never lost inside that building. Whether he plays or not and they show up, it is. I'm going to officially start it. It's Kyler Murray Trade Watch. We are on it right now. That is a thing.

[Brady]

Would they have won with Kyler Murray?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. They didn't. Doesn't really matter. So you look at it and you say, all right. The soft benching to keep him from having a more hamstring or shoulder or any sort of issues before they trade him. Today's the trade deadline and I wouldn't at all be surprised if Kyler Murray ended up on the New York jets or, you know, somewhere else. Somewhere that's a quarterback needy. There's definitely a market for him right now because he play defense.

[Brady]

Maybe the Bengals get him.

[John Holmberg]

Well. No. Well, he'd play better defenses. He still can't play it, but that doesn't make him any different than anyone on your team. It's a. Yeah. So that would be the official thing again. Cardinal fans, greatest option ever. You might get out of the Kyler Murray deal and get something back. Because I know Cardinal fans hate him. Just hate him. And I, as an outsider looking in, haven't, haven't thought it's his fault outside of his little mental breakdowns. The dude is such an amazing athlete. He's just got.

[Brady]

Maybe Cleveland will go for him.

[John Holmberg]

Cleveland. Cleveland's on the list too. I saw the Steelers, but that was more of a. If you. If the Cardinals can. If you want to pay for. They still have to pay him because it's all dead cap money. So it would be, you know, what's prepaid already goes towards the cap. So they still. The Cardinals would still pick up most of what's owed. It's worth a shot for somebody if I'm. But I'm not giving you more than like a fifth or sixth, which is brutal to get Kyler Murray that maybe a desperate team would give a 3. The jets are stupid as a stump. Cleveland is stupid as a stump. But they've been through the deshaun Watson thing. Maybe you get a third. Maybe. But I wouldn't be surprised to see if somebody stepped up and dummied up an offer for him. New Orleans, they're down there just throwing anybody who can throw it. It'd be interesting to see him go somewhere else. But Jacoby Brissette is now the future. And guess what, and Brett said it last night in our text thread, do the Cardinals draft a quarterback again next year? They start over again. I don't know how you people do it. I don't know how you're fans of it. I don't know how you do it. If I was a fan of the Cardinals, I would actively be on a daily quest to talk to the right people to try to get this team moved to Mexico City as fast as possible. It makes the most sense. They're already card the Cardinals. You get them down to Mexico City and they just. The NFL be like, you know that Phoenix market is too big to not have a team. Eventually we get something. Got a good stadium. Everything else just get the bidwells and Everybody else out. If I was staring in November again at drafting a quarterback again, it would be brutal. Brutal. Everything they touch turns to meh. But I will say this. Last night's game, they played until the fourth quarter, they played good. And then it was just see who could screw it up less, faster they beat. What I have to say is maybe, and this is saying a lot, maybe the most annoying and most arrogant Cowboys team of the last 30 years. I don't know what that team has so much swagger for. They're. They're. A dude ran for. What was his name? Bam. What's his name? The running back for the Cardinals nine yard run on second down. And you know, first down, 10. They incomplete pass. Nine yard run on second down and the dude who tackled him, stood over him and flexed like you just got gashed for nine on a run play on. On second and ten. What do you. And he flexed. He walked over. They're giving each. I'm like, dude, you're. They're gonna get. They're getting a first down for next play. First down. Kobe Brissette is 4,000 pounds. He's gonna push forward. He's getting that yard.

[Brady]

Evidently, that's the, you know, one play. It seems like teams need to celebrate after every. It's not every changes the whole.

[John Holmberg]

That's a coach that. He didn't hit him hard. Yeah, he just tackled him. It wasn't like a. No, I'm just a blistering shit.

[Brady]

Agree with you. The celebration thing after.

[John Holmberg]

No matter where, it's the Cowboys. The Cowboys were worse last night. They were. They were on the sidelines laughing, having the time of their lives. I watched a guy miss a tackle and instead of get up and run after the dude, he got up and ran back to where the huddle was going to be. I'm like, this is a team of just swagger, dick egos that are, you know, terrible. They're not a good football team at all. They're off game. Yeah. Their offense is just dudes who are looking to celebrate between Pickens and CD Lamb. And I think Dak Prescott's good, but I mean, this is. That is a tough team to watch. So when you watch them lose, it's awesome. I don't even have a horse in this race. I hate the Cowboys because I hate all the other teams. But man, they're easy to hate when they're down. Like it was like 27 to 7 or something. Like, I don't even know what the score was. They're getting their asses kicked. They're on the sidelines high fiving a guy who just made a catch on the sidelines, and they're all laughing like, that was like, they're ahead by 15. No sense of urgency. I'd be again if I was a fan of either of those teams. And you got to remember as a Cowboy fan, as bad as it feels to be a Cardinals fan, the Cardinals have been to a Super bowl in the last 30 years. That. That. Ouch. Right? Ouch. Cowboy fans, the Cardinals are a better franchise over the last 30 years than you have been. You're a more lucrative one. But then Jerry Jones had the quote of the quote of the year, maybe, maybe the quote of all time said, oh, what are you going to do about the defense to fix it up? And he did. The. I've been. I've been working on $100 billion natural gas and oil deals, so I don't have time to fix Cowboys defense. Oh, the fans loved hearing that. I'm sure it's like, I'll get to it when I get to it, But I got $100 billion over here in oil and natural gas. It is brutal. Says the Cowboys should trade for Kyler so they could win their home games. That's a good idea. John Evans. I like that. That's smart. But it was fun to watch a Cardinals team that just meh. They're competitive, that's for sure. And they have been since Jonathan Gannon got here. But now Kyler Murray is on the block. Do they trade him? Will they trade him? Who gets him?

[Brett Vesely]

I was saying last night, Marvin Harrison actually looked good last night.

[Mike King]

Whoa.

[John Holmberg]

This guy comes because he's playing a team that doesn't have any defense at all. And they had a. In the first half, he had his career. It was the best game he'd ever had. And we played two quarters. Meanwhile, I'm watching the Cowboys celebrate. Like, and it wasn't, like, Giant celebrations. It's those moments where you, like, get back to the huddle. What are you smiling for? It's. It's like Dale always says that, the body language thing. What are they happy? What are they so happy about? Dude, you flexed over a guy who just gassed you for nine yards, and you just flexed on him because you tackled him and it was a basic tackle. It is easy. Hate the Cowboys. Really easy. So nice job, Cardinals, and you got your win. And I watched a little bit of the Scott Van Pal. By the way, that game cost me 40 bucks. Not in bets or anything. YouTube TV. I didn't realize had lost ESPN and ABC and all that on Thursday. I hadn't paid attention to any of that. And I went to find the game and I'm like, where's my. Where's espn? It's gone. And then I looked. I'm like, oh, yeah. They had that dispute with Disney and they were supposed to come back for a day and didn't. And now I don't even know. Now they don't have a channel. Now I don't have Suns games. I have to fly nagle my TV for that, to get that. Because you don't have channel three. I don't have ABC or ESPN. And you know what hasn't happened? YouTube TV hasn't cut me a deal. They haven't come back on. Sorry. We're losing all these channels because of our internal disputes. We're gonna drop you about 25. But not once have they said, let's make it easier on you, guy paying for everything. Now that we're in a fight with Disney.

[Brady]

Evidently, it's less expensive, it seems like, because my neighbor said the same thing on Saturday. He's like, I gotta switch. I gotta go back.

[John Holmberg]

I bought Direct I last. Last night I got on DirecTV again, and it was like 54 bucks to just sign up and do the thing. I'll get the $84 a month package. And now I've got both. So now I'm spending another $80 on TV. My bill for television is closing in on 500 bucks a month. Oh, that's when you add it all up and people are like, oh, you said, oh, do your math on that. Get a little rocket mortgage or not. Rocket mortgage. Rocket money thing. And find out, because it'll track your apps for you. Go. Here's what you're paying in TV. And I'm like, 460. And now I'm over that and paying.

[Brady]

For the rocket money thing.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if I pay for that. It's just that I don't know it's worth it because it made me dump Philo Fubo. I had like seven or eight things that I did the trials for.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they got them. And then for some reason forget to cancel. You always forget that. And it just renewed it. So I had like 12 or 13 different apps that were costing me 12 or 15 bucks a month. And I'm like, I don't even know I had that. It's not even on the home screen. And it's a killer. So now I have to add this other one because you know, if you're going to fight about it and you're going to get rid of espn, you have to realize that when you charge extra for espn, when it goes away because of your dispute, you got to take that off my bill. We'll get it back. We'll get it back when, like, prorated. Every day has to have value. Every day has to have another seven or eight bucks off.

[Brett Vesely]

@ least they probably would if you sat on hold with Kevin, you know, for about an hour, and then, oh, yeah, we'll give you her $15 back.

[John Holmberg]

Funny you say that, Brett, because I called last night to. I was furious. I was like, when is this? Why am I. So I called him like, look, I want the football package and just cancel everything else. Oh, no, no, no, no. You have to do. You have to be a subscriber for the entire. And the football package is an added piece. And I'm like, no, no. It's a la carte tv. You guys made that. You're the ones who came up with that idea. You give me just the football packs. No, no, no, no, no, no, sir. No, sir. That is. I'm like, all right, let me talk to somebody else then, because I'm. I want to build. I want something done. And he goes, okay. And I get on hold, and I got that thing. There are callers ahead of you. The hold time is 25 minutes, so about 12, 15 minutes.

[Brady]

Callback option.

[John Holmberg]

No callback option. So I just left the phone on the thing and on the speaker, and I'm walking around doing what I'm doing, and. And I got DirecTV. So I got the game on. So I'm. You know, they hit me, and then it. Like, 10 minutes in. Your call is still very important to us. Your hold time is 25 minutes. I'm like, it was 25 minutes 10 minutes ago. How's it still 20. I turned me into Mad Dog Russo. How Is it still 25 minutes? We've been on for 10 minutes. I went nuts.

[Brett Vesely]

Kevin went on his lunch break.

[Brady]

So, yeah, some other Mad Dog was on there unloading.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's gonna go longer. They told me everything I needed to know.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That I wasn't the only one calling up, going, what the hell's going on?

[Brady]

Is one of the big reasons you keep the YouTube is because of the squad box?

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Brady]

You know, it's football. People like that. You don't have that option on some of the other.

[John Holmberg]

The easiest thing right now to get football. It's the easiest package for food. I don't even know where else you go for the football package for the NFL ticket. I know you can just go. You go to Hulu and grab that, and they got. I've got Hulu. And then you can get, you can order the whole package. Or is it one of those things where you can do both?

[Brady]

You could do just if you just want Red zone or both, I just.

[John Holmberg]

Want the goddamn game. They got it because the last time I checked Hulu, there were blackouts on certain ones that weren't owned by NBC or abc. Something happened where like, you can't get this game unless you have this because it's a local that I'm like, well, God damn it.

[Brett Vesely]

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[Byron from MMP Guns]

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[Mike King]

Own one.

[Byron from MMP Guns]

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[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron from MMP Guns]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I want it to be easy again. I liked channels. Okay, Boomer? Yeah, Good. Just. Just because you think technology's won something. This system sucks. This is a convoluted mess. Before, when we just had channels and numbers and you had a system that had all the same ones with the. Occasionally, like, you know, DirecTV satellite would get into. Or Dish would get into a fight with A and E, and you'd lose that for a second. No, this new way sucks. And by the way, I don't like clicking on an app and watching it go, which profile do any of. Like, I'm watching now? Just turn the goddamn TV on.

[Brady]

I think Cox is sitting like, hey.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Well, they're.

[John Holmberg]

You know what?

[Brady]

We got the whole pack.

[John Holmberg]

And you know who they are? They're radio. They're run by morons. The radio executives and Cox executives should get better, get back together and go, yeah. Had everybody buy the balls. And we really pooch on this one, huh? Everybody ran away from us, and our system was the better system. We just didn't know how to sell it. We don't know what we're doing. Yeah. Cox is sitting back saying, our thing still works.

[Brady]

Check us out again.

[John Holmberg]

But, yeah, and we'll give Cox credit, because the people from Cox are like, you're gonna end up spending more money with this new way than you were with us. Like, yeah, but we hate you. You're radio executives. You've screwed up something free and easy. We really enjoyed the old way, but you. You made it so awful for us that we went on to this new thing. It's weird.

[Brady]

The stream nightmare.

[John Holmberg]

It is. It's a nightmare. It is. And I, you know, I'm in it. Everybody's in it. It's almost like you had to be. You got sucked into the web and at first, cutting the cord. Good idea. I was getting killed by DirecTV, and they weren't offering much of anything. And when they lost, you know, exclusive access to the football, you're like, well, there's no point for this.

[Brett Vesely]

So is it cheaper now that. Because you're just streaming DirecTV, right, you're not putting the dishes back up and all that kind of stuff, or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's cheaper than it was before, but it won't be. Eventually. They'll get in a fight with Disney, too, probably even. Yeah. I don't know. I just know that I'm paying more for TV now than I was back when I was mad at DirecTV when I cut the cord. Because they were like. And when I cut the cord, I called DirecTV. I remember calling, and I'm like, hey, I'm gonna go ahead and chop it. And they're like, why? I'm like, you guys don't offer the NFL package anymore. It went to YouTube, so I'm going to that. Is that the only reason? I'm like, yeah, well, you've been a valuable customer since 2002, so we'd like to make you this offer. And it was like, 12 bucks. I'm like, you're gonna knock off a few hundred dollars for me monthly just to keep me around? Well, you're such a valuable customer. Like, if I was so valuable, how come you never called me with this offer on your own? Like, if you guys love me this much, why didn't you ever call and say, hey, we realize everybody's cutting the cord. We're gonna give you a break for sticking around? Like, I'd have stayed. I don't like being. I don't like that. I don't like. You know. Oh, so it's like, what women always do.

[John's Wife]

So it took losing me for you to realize how much you cared.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right, bye, DirecTV. And now I'm kind of like, hey, DirecTV, you still up? Hey. Sup? You up?

[Brady]

How's that looking?

[John Holmberg]

You up?

[John's Wife]

Oh, you're texting me again.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, up. DirecTV. You up. What you doing, girl?

[Brett Vesely]

It's like DirecTV lost all that weight and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, kind of like DirecTV look good again.

[John's Wife]

I know I got a little fat and full of myself.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you did. Look at you now, though. I've been boning YouTube TV for the last couple years. I've been enjoying it. But she's getting a little bit like you used to be. Plus, she's got all these friends at the house all the time. Peacock and Hulu and I don't know who. I don't know where anything is. The TV sucks now, Period. End of story. My friend has a.

[Brady]

Got seven separate Hallmark streaming fees. Not that many.

[John Holmberg]

But I just. You have. You. But you pay for the Hallmark thing.

[Brady]

Oh, I think there's one that we're paying for.

[John Holmberg]

Boy, oh, boy, That's a double check. No, that is a hard foot down.

[Brady]

At platinum gold package.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't. You don't pay extra for Hallmark anything. Oh, that just keeps those. Those movies are horrible. You pay for those.

[Brett Vesely]

Never know when Hot Frosty 2 is gonna be hitting the waves.

[John Holmberg]

No. Getting close to hot Frosty too.

[Brady]

Get it in the summer.

[John Holmberg]

Now you are paying for home.

[Brady]

I'll double check.

[John Holmberg]

I know we have to cancel it.

[Brady]

We have two of them.

[John Holmberg]

Two Hallmarks.

[Brady]

Yeah, there's two packages, but they might include it in the all.

[John Holmberg]

Look, hold on. You go to a specific Hallmark icon and click on it rather than there's two of them. Like, it's not part of, like, the YouTube package. Because there's Hallmark on.

[Brady]

No, there. There is a Hallmark on there.

[John Holmberg]

You are paying for Hallmark on its own for all exclusive access.

[Brady]

I might. I've been able to find the. Cancel that through the Hulu.

[John Holmberg]

You cancel that.

[Brady]

They might have two.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. By the. You as a man, better call Kevin. Cancel that and just say, hey, if anybody wants to watch Hallmark around here, I don't know what you've got. If you've got Direct, if you've got YouTube TV, if you've got whatever one. There's a Hallmark channel on there. That's all we do here. We don't pay extra for Hallmark around here. Hot Frosty 2 doesn't get money. Oh, that's. That's painful. Are you looking?

[Brady]

I am.

[John Holmberg]

How do you find it?

[Brett Vesely]

Seven bucks a month, apparently.

[John Holmberg]

Your subscriptions. How much?

[Brett Vesely]

Seven bucks a month. But you get 50 channels.

[John Holmberg]

You get 50 Hallmark channels.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it's all the different ones. So it's right here. So you get a E History.

[John Holmberg]

What's this one? This app?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. Whatever.

[Brady]

We're not friendly. We have that. I don't know if we're paying for that.

[John Holmberg]

Probably you're paying seven a month for that. To get everything that's already on. Another thing. That's all I get. All those on YouTube, all those channels that it shows. There isn't one on there that I don't get.

[Brett Vesely]

I got the Reels channel.

[John Holmberg]

So you're paying seven to have those Twice. I gotta do reels, which pisses me off. Cause I gotta have Peacock to have reels. Because reels isn't on YouTube TV. So I go to Peacock for that $9.

[Brett Vesely]

I switch over to Samsung TV for that.

[John Holmberg]

Samsung has reels?

[Brett Vesely]

Yes, the Samsung TV has it. You know those Samsung channels up in.

[John Holmberg]

The 2000s, 2000 things.

[Brett Vesely]

That's how I watch OP live every day.

[John Holmberg]

Damn it. I watch it on Peacock. Canceling Peacock today. Only reason I have Peacock. Never do. I go to the Peacock thing. The other one. The other reason I had Peacock was for that. That movie about those Mormons that were giving each other hand jobs. And it's great. The perfect neighbor or whatever. I forget what it's called. It's a. It's a. I called the guy Brother B with Scott Taylor. We work with him. He's a. It's an awesome miniseries. It was the only thing on Peacock I ever watched. And then I found that. God damn it. That's on the Samsung. Yeah. All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's all the Samsung channels.

[John Holmberg]

Samsung's almost got too much. Yeah. All right. Son of a. I didn't know. All right. So I got to cancel Peacocks. It's just too hard. Somebody said, get a fire stick. I had a fire stick. And it was nearly impossible because it kept not working. It would work same.

[Brett Vesely]

I had to.

[John Holmberg]

It was awful. The technology. Maybe there's.

[Brady]

I'm sure the generation has. Stop. Like, there's a new fire stick that has.

[John Holmberg]

Dude gave me one at one of our events and said, try this. And he. And it had all the sports packages and everything. A friend of mine has an app or a website he goes to that is some sort of illegal. It's every sport in. I mean, we're talking in the world.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I forget what it is.

[Brady]

I hear about these things.

[John Holmberg]

Something East. Whatever. And all it does is just, like, it's on your phone. You can load it on your phone and then, you know, airdrop it up onto your tv and it's. It. All it does is your phone just tells you, like, you've got, like 6,000 viruses in the last two seconds. Like it's. And I don't care about that at all. I don't know that a virus has ever bothered me. If you get your identity stolen. That was gonna happen either way.

[Brady]

They still have those universal boxes that it gets everything.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It took me 25 minutes to turn the TV on because I had to get DirecTV back up and running. And it was a pain in the ass.

[Brady]

There you go.

[Brett Vesely]

1845 and 1846.

[John Holmberg]

That's real.

[Brett Vesely]

46 is PD.

[John Holmberg]

Lie or live.

[Brett Vesely]

PD and reels is 1845 on Samsung TV.

[John Holmberg]

And it's the real shit. It's not that delayed thing that just shows last week's episodes.

[Brett Vesely]

That shows the live ones, too.

[John Holmberg]

God damn it.

[Brett Vesely]

And they just keep showing them all over.

[John Holmberg]

Here's another thing. I'm. I'm a. An employee for now of Hubbard Broadcasting. They own the real.

[Brett Vesely]

Why don't we get a deal?

[John Holmberg]

We should just have it sent to our homes.

[Brett Vesely]

Get on the phone with Jenny.

[Brady]

Nah.

[John Holmberg]

You'll pay. I'll end up buying the network.

[Brady]

Be on hold the Next operator.

[John Holmberg]

I'm pretty much done. Done making those phone calls. But anyway, yeah, I'm just. What a pain in the ass TV is. I'm crotchety old man. And I get. You know what really bugs me and I know that they know it is that younger people are like this grandpa, TV's too hard. Like you don't know. Cause you don't know when it was simple. You don't know how dumb you are to think that just because it's on your tablet 12 times it isn't technologically better. No, nothing. No further proof than our Internet phone system that just doesn't work.

[Brady]

Are you still. Do you still have the DirecTV station.

[John Holmberg]

Numbers known like if I think about them every once in a while if I pick up the old remote. Yep, I have my old remote still has numbers on it. And it's just been retro to work for this. And I'm like, I'll 212. Yeah, I'll still bang into the 212 for the NFL Network. And two, one, two. I'll even text a friend of mine like 212 when something stealery is related. We both. Neither of us have direct anymore, so we just know to go to NFL Network. So true. There's that south park episode where they did a. A retrofitting of the entire school security system and it was just a catastrophe. And every time you'd hit a button, Lionel Richie's All Night Long would play for no reason. And that was to. And then sprinklers would go off when you wanted a fire alarm. And it was. And then you had to keep upgrading package after package. Like, oh yeah, if you didn't want Lionel Richie to come on all the time, you have to get to the platinum plus and that's another 12. All right, let's do it. That's. We got to have it right now.

[Brady]

I'm gonna go home and audit my system today. I spend the whole day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, geez.

[Brady]

Frank the Tank looking for a gym membership.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, audit.

[Brady]

I gotta spend all day to figure out what's the best.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good idea. It's good for an internal television audit day to look and just go, when in the hell is the last time I watched Philo? I've seen all the reruns of Taxi. I need to see Gamble is the word for 6am this morning. If you're getting on that thing, hop on the app and go in and put gamble in this promo code and gamble away. And this conversation always turns into some back alley weird thing. I'LL go to my emails and start hearing, man, I get you free sports at crack Stream Ma. And I'm like, I'm not. That's more stuff. Everything's free. Get a VPN though. Crackstream Ms. That's been suggested to me. This guy says Sling TV has almost everything DirecTV has, but no local channels. I like the local channels. I like it a lot.

[Brady]

Reason why I went to. To get some of the local channels. Someone said you could do an HD antenna.

[John Holmberg]

That's a pain. It's another thing I gotta. I gotta switch out of this to go to that. I just turned the channel. God damn. It used to be so easy. Hey, what's. When's Jeopardy. On three Boom. Three enter. Three enter. We eliminated all the channels now. Oh, why whatever, Boomer. Like you don't have a good answer outside of whatever. Boomer. Or Nice job, grandpa. Old people working remotes. Hilarious. Like, you're an idiot. You don't. You guys are social. You don't even know how to work your life. You call me that? This dude mad@directv. You're an idiot. You've ruined everything. This generation has ruined everything. Morning sickness. Hol's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Are there such things as universal remotes anymore? I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't either. I have one. I have a. I have a universal remote that covers that.

[Brady]

You can. You're able to go back and forth to the different.

[Brett Vesely]

It covers your Apple tv.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's all that, really. So, yeah, and it's my old remote. My guy just came in and reprogrammed it. Is reprogrammed the whole thing. And that's. Yeah, it covers everything. I just don't need the numbers anymore. But it's just a bunch of buttons you got to figure out. This guy says, I got Paramount plus and Peacock Basic for free for being a Walmart employee. So Hubbard should offer something like that to you guys. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

This guy's a comedian, huh?

[John Holmberg]

You cheap. Mother wouldn't offer us anything like that. Yeah, it's garbage. Yeah, it's tough. We should all get that stuff. And then I find out that I've got like doubles of things and I'm paying for this. And I got two of those. I got three of these.

[Brady]

And it's kind of 350 news channels.

[John Holmberg]

I can watch Pittsburgh's local news. I can't watch Arizona's Here's Abroad. This one says it's called self control. Only $32 a month for only Netflix prime, and 30 for Wi Fi.

[Brett Vesely]

Jana, that means no football.

[John Holmberg]

You don't watch football. You don't get it. You don't get it. Rods, get back in the kitchen. Get back and go to your cooking channel and learn something and make it for me and get off my ass. TV is a man's deal. It's like working the barbecue and you.

[John's Wife]

Tell me I don't ever work the bar.

[John Holmberg]

You shouldn't work the barbecue. You should stay away from television. All you have is Netflix. So you just watch Bridgerton over and over again. Netflix has stuff, but I bet you she watches friends reruns like 18 hours a day.

[Brett Vesely]

Jackie says, get the super box on Amazon. You get every football, baseball, and basketball game. You only pay one time.

[John Holmberg]

How many. How many hoops do I have to jump through just to watch television?

[Brady]

I'm checking out super boss.

[John Holmberg]

Don't do it, Brady. Don't do it. You're gonna fall for it. You're a very susceptible man. You'll jump right into this. What we need to do is fight for it to kind of go back to the same way. Just go back to give us the option of the old way. We were wrong. We were wrong about the whole cord cutting. We were wrong about. Satellite TV is a pretty good system. We're sorry. Can we say it now? Can we say we're sorry? It's like, you know, if Teslas, which are better technology, we're ramming into walls all the time, people be like, well, I guess the old way's better. It's like, no, no, no. The technology of a Tesla, Yeah, we understand that the potential of it is better, but we screwed it all up. I like Apple, the Apple tv united all my televisions. That's kind of cool. It gives me little warnings, like when there's a good game on, like during the World Series, your pain is like, hey, by the way, end of the game coming up here, you should check it out. Apple's been awesome. Pay for that too. Got all. Got all sorts of stuff going on.

[Brady]

Yeah, we're all. All Apple.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's outstanding. But it just makes it so I have to get. Ah, it drives me nuts. Gamble is today's 6 o' clock word. Hop on that thing, get on board and gamble away. But all this bitching and crying and all I'm thinking to myself was, the cowboys took it in the trunks last night. Kyler Murray's probably gonna play for someone else. Could have been that. Could have started the whole show that easily. Can't get it. Can't be done.

[Brett Vesely]

And today's the deadline.

[John Holmberg]

Today's the deadline. Yeah. We'll see. I don't know if they'll pull it off. It has to be the right offer. But. And I. And I have a feeling when Kyler goes somewhere else, you're gonna. He's gonna. He's not gonna be crazy good, but he'll.

[Mike King]

He'll be.

[John Holmberg]

He'll be something.

[Brett Vesely]

Is he gonna be there and Justin Fields. Because he's probably going to the Jets.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if you go to the jets, you automatically stink. It's over. Like, there's no coming out of the.

[Brady]

There'll be more scrambling.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You. You want. You have to go to the jets, then leave the jets to be good. You can't be at the jets and be all right. I don't think the jets are buyers so much right now. They might be trading out everybody on their team. We'll see. But there's a couple of teams. I'm looking at a couple of teams that are like, we don't. We have swung and missed on quarterback a couple of times. We just need somebody to steady the ship while we look again. And I think New Orleans is a great one. Really good one. I'd like Kyler, just for personal reasons, to get traded to Miami to see if we can make him lazier. As you go down to Miami and you start realize Kyler, get it. It's going to be great. Remember yesterday we talked about the. That alert that went off at 5:24 in the morning on Sunday to get us to go look for a. Essentially what was a midget, but turned out they were wrong about the height. So it said it was 4 foot 2 inches. On a few people's alerts, it was a 4 foot 10 inch person. That's still a little tiny person. It's hard to find those, but they stand out. But it shouldn't have been that hard to find, right? And it pissed everyone off. And like I said yesterday, the only thing it did was it didn't help the community. It basically taught everybody how to turn off the alerts.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what it did to me.

[John Holmberg]

Really. Maybe turn mine off. I didn't know you could turn these off. I turned mine off.

[Brady]

I haven't.

[John Holmberg]

You should. Well, you're not. And again, so in the news last night, there's a guy going, well, the people that were annoyed by it weren't going to help out anyway. That's just. That's your system, you dick. And I said, there's nobody who's ever said after you Hear that cacophony of noise at five in the morning on a Sunday As a ruler. Honey, wake up. There's a missing Indian we have to go have. We have to find him. Like nobody's ever looked at us with a strange missing Indian outside somewhere we don't know. Well, we're gonna go look for him. Get up, put your clothes on. Let's go do this.

[John's Wife]

Yes, you're right, honey. It's time to go look for missing Indians at 5 in the morning on a Sunday. Thank you, phone.

[John Holmberg]

So the only thing it did was teach Americans in general. Oh, system works. Shut this thing off. This guy emails, this Jared guy says, john, when you said yesterday there were no, no people out there who get an alert on their phone and would wake the wife to go out and look, you're wrong. I don't have a wife. But Sunday when I got my alert, I got up and I went to work. I live by your old elementary school, Roosevelt. And by the way, that's creepy. I may have mentioned that a few times. But still, for you to know and put it in your back pocket, I want security.

[Brady]

So you didn't get up?

[John Holmberg]

Yes, I live by Roosevelt elementary and it's very close to where the young woman who was missing was last seen. So I got up and drove around seeking her out. I'm a former security guard. I have some training. I don't get involved. If I see something, I just add eyes to the watch. Signed Jared.

[Brett Vesely]

That's not that many people get up that early in the morning on a Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

So let me tell you something.

[Brett Vesely]

First of all, knock it off.

[John Holmberg]

You were the only one get 20 or 30 blarts. You're not getting any. We got one and his name is Jared and he's the only one who did that. Not one person got up on Sunday. And then the dude who's running the system is like, we know everybody. We pissed off most of everybody. But those people weren't going to help anyway. Then why are you firing off the system? Just, you know, make me, you know, make it a screen ting. I don't have to wake up at 5:30. I didn't even look. Honestly, I didn't even look out the window. I just laid there like, well, this is interesting.

[Brady]

The timing is because it finally got the official green light at that time.

[John Holmberg]

Because just when it happened, just when somebody and a government official and someone, you know, reports it legal, official just said, ding. Buzzed everyone. But it did. All it did was teach people to go, well, I don't Ever want that to happen again. How do I shut this off? And there could be a missing Indian in your front yard. And you won't get an alert anymore because they, they screwed. They, they Chicken Little, the whole thing. And you won't even look out the window, go, there she is. Like if she was standing there and get it right. If, look, a 4 foot 2 inch or 4 foot 10 inch, whichever one you put out there because you put two out, a 4 foot 10 inch person stands out. Oddly enough, just walking around at 5 in the morning, somebody's gonna see that. And so they were kidnapped and taken away. We still don't have her, right?

[Brett Vesely]

Like no, she's watching news this morning.

[John Holmberg]

She's on a boat, she's in the, she's in the Mediterranean somewhere way out there, maybe even the Gulf. She's out.

[Brady]

Hope you're wrong on that.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not ready. I know it's. You don't like reality and stuff, but yeah, she's definitely Property of Chic something something right now that just happens. It's not a good thing. But that's what's going on. If it couldn't find her, then what was I going to do? And the alert just stopped. Like we only got it at 5:30 in the morning. And then for two days we didn't care. We're just yelling about the alert. The news didn't do anything about the missing girl.

[Brady]

How do you find out?

[John Holmberg]

What if she's, you know, other than.

[Brady]

Hearing it from the news?

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe you get another alert.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, if they wake me up at three in the morning. That one. Rest easy. I was. We caught her all right. But I was asleep. I can go back to sleep now. I didn't even have to get up really, to be honest with you. Yeah, they might as well just have the thing in the sound, just be cats fighting. It would be equally as annoying. Oh God, there's a missing kid. Yeah. People emailed yesterday said I was rooting for the kidnappers. And that's not the vibe you get five in the morning on a Sunday. Two days of that. But the arrogance of that guy. To go on the news and go, if you were mad about it, you were going to help us anyway. You mother claims of this tv.

[Brett Vesely]

Exactly. And now I never will help.

[John Holmberg]

Now you lost me as ever potentially help. In fact, this morning there was a thing on the freeway that said looking for something. I just closed my eyes. I didn't even read. I just drove right under him. Like I'm not even going to look for that they might be right next to me. I'm not looking and it's also kind of out of my pay grade. No, I supposed to follow him like I see it. All right, where are you? Well, I'm over here on McDowell and I'm at the McDonald's door. Should I leave or like what do I. You're in the drive through. Yeah, there's two cars ahead of me. It's been a minute. I want my. I want my burrito.

[Brady]

Where do I send my gas receipt?

[John Holmberg]

They turn left, but. Yeah, I don't know what to do. Yeah, I. I'm not going to leave this line. Sir, please help. Nah, I don't like this at all. She's out there. She's by the McDonald's. Thank you for your tip. Also might not have been her. I don't know. Just. It's dark outside. I haven't eaten. Tell me what you did. Well, the alarm went off. My wife and I diligently put our clothes back on and ran to our car and started to search for a midget Indian.

[Brady]

If you find her, you don't have to pay income tax next year. Okay, how quick they would find.

[John Holmberg]

Boom. You get a year off of income tax. Now you're going to find all of them. Yeah, make it a game like a Mad Mad world or something. Every missing person has a $100,000 bounty on their head if you find them.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what we do at the Easter keg. The only reason getting up at three in the morning to go look for something is because we're giving you something.

[John Holmberg]

Prize at the end other than just feeling okay about yourself. That's exactly right. Every single one. If the alert goes off then it's more then it's important.

[Brady]

So that means there you get the steak and put 10 grand on it.

[John Holmberg]

10 grand. You put a million dollars on it and not a soul is sitting in their house. We're gonna find that little angel and it's gonna be awesome. If that. If it. If that alarm goes at five in the morning and there's. That means. All right, game on. Million dollar prize. Go find this one.

[Brady]

Like every house is a fire station.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, everybody be out. Get out, get out. Dicks out. Underwear, people driving in robes like Fred.

[Brett Vesely]

Flintstone surfing down the back of that dinosaur jumping into your car.

[John Holmberg]

You'd hear everybody in their neighborhood's car start at the same time. Go out, find that million dollar Indian. Now you pay for your tv. Perfect. I just think it's awful. I think that strange anybody would think that we were going to find her that way, and we didn't. So. Also, the alarm system doesn't work because it didn't make us all peep it out.

[Brett Vesely]

No, it just made us pissed.

[John Holmberg]

Hey. Just annoyed us and I turned it off anyway. 6:00am Code word is gamble. This morning, Gamble is the one to go to. If you want to grab that, run with it and put it in the six o' clock promo code. Meantime, let's get us a wake up song. 585 9, 800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPT. Wake up, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98 KUPT.

[Mike King]

I'm Mike King from the podcast Profiling Evil. A place where true crime meets behavioral science. I spent my career investigating serial predators and studying the psychology behind them. Here, we don't just talk about what criminals did. We explore why they do what they do. We expose manipulation and control, look at how offenders select their victims and uncover the ways that they try to avoid detection. You can find Profiling Evil on your favorite podcast platform.