11-04-25 - More Debate On What Heaven Would Be To All Of Us vs What Brady Is Trying To Tell Us It Is

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 11-04-25

Episode Title: More Debate On What Heaven Would Be To All Of Us vs What Brady Is Trying To Tell Us It Is
Date: November 4, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Summary by Section

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, the crew dives into an imaginative, irreverent debate about the nature of heaven. John Holmberg and Bret Vesely envision a personalized, wacky afterlife shaped by your wildest desires—time-travel, riding dinosaurs, meeting the Rat Pack—contrasted sharply against Brady Bogen’s more traditional, spiritual vision. Their cheeky banter explores what makes paradise appealing and who’s got the better sales pitch: John’s wild ride or Brady’s guaranteed serenity?

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Porsche, Portia, and Motorhead Tangent

• (01:11–02:23) The episode kicks off referencing a prior conversation where Brady was credited for his takes on heaven and hell—with special mention of the lack of masturbation in either. The group jokes about what’s truly heavenly, riffing about Tripp Reeb’s love of Porsches and an overabundance of Motorhead music on the station.

2. John and Bret’s “Disneyland of Heaven”

• (02:23–04:32)
  • John lays out his vision of heaven as the ultimate experience park:
    • You can relive any point in history, like "riding a dinosaur," or visit historical events such as "the plague—just dick around and observe."
    • Time is limitless: "Every day, I get to visit a new place."
  • Quote: "I want my heaven to be like a great big Disneyland, only real." – John (03:23)
  • The crew fantasizes about jumping through time and making deals with futuristic Porsches—humorous juxtapositions that keep the tone light and playful.

3. Contrasting with Brady’s Heaven: The Big Sell

• (04:30–08:10)
  • John and Bret challenge Brady to outline his vision, suggesting his is less fun, more “floaty” and non-specific, especially compared to their theme park universe.
  • John imagines everyone having their own “roller coaster of life” ride—literal highs, lows, and loops.
  • Quote: "Brett's roller coaster of life, where it's an actual physical roller coaster of your highs and lows.” – John (07:48)
  • Brady counters that, in his heaven, the emotional experiences are guaranteed because "I have a God behind mine" (08:10), but John is relentless in pitching the excitement of his own afterlife.

4. Satirizing Religious Texts and Heaven’s Marketing Problem

• (05:26–06:01, 08:21–11:42)
  • The crew jokes about how reading the Bible is less appealing than living out wild afterlife fantasies.
  • Quote: "No one's ever read the Bible…I personally believe no one's ever read the Bible." – John (05:22)
  • John lampoons the lack of marketing in religious promises:
    • "That's how you sell heaven, my friend…you put them in there with a bunch of gang members eating rigaton. That's pretty awesome." (12:56)
    • He imagines drawing converts just by promising time travel, celebrity meetups, and eternal fun.

5. Heaven as the Ultimate Historical Meet-and-Greet

• (09:40–12:32)
  • Bret fantasizes about "going back to the 60s and going to Vegas with Sinatra, Dean Martin and the Rat Pack," having cocktails, and even conjuring Margot Robbie into the party.
  • Memorable Moment: The hosts construct a mock scene where Bret is welcomed into the Rat Pack, with Dean Martin crooning "that's amore" and Frank Sinatra declaring him his best friend (12:10–12:18).
  • Brady tries to reclaim the concept by saying, "That's the amazing thing about it. It's really not sold all that much. But yet we are…still excited." (11:37), but the crew keeps emphasizing their “better sales pitch.”

6. The Debate’s Conclusion: Whose Heaven Wins?

• (12:33–13:38)
  • Bret declares himself “sold” on John’s heaven, highlighting the appeal of laughter, good food, and celebrity camaraderie.
  • John jokes that if heaven were marketed his way, “I’d be religious if that’s how they sold it.” (13:04)
  • Brady concedes, “Some much better heaven,” but insists on his own version's merit, albeit with less conviction.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I want my heaven to be like a great big Disneyland, only real.”
  – John (03:23)

• "If you can imagine it, it can happen. I just invented something: Brett's roller coaster of life, where it's an actual physical roller coaster of your highs and lows.”
  – John (07:48)

• "No one's ever read the Bible…I personally believe no one's ever read the Bible."
  – John (05:22)

• "That's how you sell heaven, my friend…you put them in there with a bunch of gang members eating rigaton. That's pretty awesome."
  – John (12:56)

• "Brett, can I give you heaven for a second, please? Please tell me if just in the middle of the night…Dean Martin just looks at you and goes, ‘that's amore. Brett. You're my best friend.’"
  – John (12:10)

• "Stop jerking off. That's one of your rules. Okay, I stopped listening."
  – John (13:18)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:11 – Tripp Reeb’s take on heaven and Porsches
• 02:23 – John's Disneyland vision of heaven, dinosaur time travel
• 03:51 – Plague era adventure fantasy
• 04:30 – Selling “better” heavens; roller coaster metaphors
• 05:26 – Bible reading debate
• 07:48 – Roller coaster of your own life description
• 08:10 – Brady’s version: “God guarantees the good feelings”
• 09:40 – Meeting the Rat Pack in heaven
• 11:37 – Marketing heaven: laughter, adventure, and famous friends
• 12:10 – The imaginary Rat Pack scene: "that's amore"
• 13:04 – “I’d be religious if that’s how they sold it.”
• 13:38 – End of debate, mock ad break

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Tone and Style

The discussion is irreverent, loaded with playful mockery, and filled with friendly jabs—especially directed at Brady’s attempts to “sell” heaven. John Holmberg’s style is especially animated, quick-witted, and sarcastic, while Bret is the eager sidekick, and Brady the good-sport straight man. The humor is self-aware, often poking fun at religious clichés, with a dose of Gen-X nostalgia and a little absurdist invention.

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For those who missed the episode:
This show is about what makes heaven appealing—and how most of us would choose adventure, laughs, and endless options over a vague, floaty afterlife. If you want existential debates with a side of time travel and Rat Pack nostalgia, this is a classic HMS episode.

Transcript

[Brett Vesley]

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[Ranch House Grill Announcer]

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[Sean]

Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] There you go. A little mammoth for you. That there's called Spell the Spell. I'm going to rip up this 8 o' clock word. Get ready for the 9 o' clock word so I can qualify you again. Tripp Reeb just came in here, gave Brady credit for his earlier talk about his knowledge of exactly what heaven is like, which only Brady knows, evidently, and also exactly what hell was like, which is still disappointing a lot of people online. And in neither place there is masturbation and Trip loves Portia's just got another one. It's pretty awesome too. And Brady just told him there aren't any of those in heaven either because you wouldn't need one. But what if Tripp basically told Nephi? Yeah, he just basically, where do they sell them then? Because that's where I want to go. Porsche Heaven. German Heaven. Look out. Yeah, so Tripp said the best part of that whole conversation was at the end you played Motorhead and I'M like, yeah. And then he said the greatest phrase ever. Said, we don't play enough Motorhead.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Sean]

So expect a lot more Motorhead. Until Tripp goes, what's with all the motorhead? Larry said, I'm putting it in right now. Yeah, Larry's heard it across the hall. More Motorhead immediately, sir. Yeah. One week. Larry, you've lost your mind with the Motorhead. No one likes that stuff. We'll get that all together. Yeah, I was talking, like, I think, like, yeah, he likes Porsches. He should be able to get all of them. I want my, like, Brady. And you can tell me this, too, because I'm still on this conversation with everybody on it. You get into these deep, meta conversations, and I would like my heaven to be that I get to see all the stuff that I didn't get to live through, like, what's coming up. And then I get to play with that. And then every day, I get to visit a new place. So I'm like, all right, it's Tuesday. I'm going to. I'm going to travel over to the dinosaurs. I'm going to ride a dinosaur. Brett, you want to come with me? Dinosaur? Because we're already dead, so it's safe.

[Brady]

You know what, Sean?

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You can have that.

[Sean]

My heaven's awesome.

[Brady]

You can have that.

[Sean]

But I get to do stuff yours. You kept taking everything away, saying, I'm just gonna be happy, like, but I won't be. Like, why won't. Why can't I play with all the toys? I want heaven to be like a great big Disneyland, only real. And then I'm gonna like, hey, Brett, let's go to the plague. And, like, oh, yay. Let's do that. Cause Brett will probably die at the exact same time. So we'll go down to the mess around the plague. These people are a mess. And then we just know we've got 24 hours in the plague. Just kind of dick around and observe. And then we leave. It's just like being at Disneyland. And then we go to tomorrow.

[Brady]

One of those bird masks on, like, during the plague.

[Sean]

Yeah. I don't know what. Yeah, there's big Graven's crow. Yeah. Awesome.

[Brett Vesley]

And then we go to plutonium or a DeLorean.

[Sean]

We just go Tomorrowland. Yeah, we'll go over there, and we actually see what. What Ford is up to in, like, 20 years and 40 years and 80 years. We see Tripp. Hey, guys, I came here to Tomorrowland, too. This is a 3512 Porsche 911. And I just picked it up for a pretty penny. I'm gonna sell it. Only one made sure to be the only one that actually does my heaven and comes back with more money. I made a couple of sweet deals in the future. How'd you do that? I don't know.

[Brady]

I just sold Barabbas.

[Sean]

I just. I went back and I. I popped in and I told him, like, you know what's missing from your time? A Carrera. He's got a Porsche dealership. Dealership in Babylon. What are you building there, sir? You'll see. I'm gonna make a quick buck off these idiots. It's a fun idea. Brady sucks. There's no jerking off. I grew up Christian. And I don't know if Brady's ever read the Bible. The only thing he said that was accurate this morning is there's a heaven and a hell. All right. Thanks, Joe. Gross. Well, he was accurate about something he listened to. I personally believe no one's ever read the Bible. I have to go on that. I don't think anyone who says they've read the Bible has actually read the Bible ever. Save for the dudes in the dresses. I know. You've never read the Bible. I know. No, but nobody has. You've never read the Bible.

[Brady]

Beginning to end.

[Sean]

Yeah. You've never. Right? That's reading the Bible.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Sean]

If you said to me, I don't know if you've ever read where the Red Fern Grows, like, well, not from the beginning of the end, but I know about parts. No one's ever read it.

[Brady]

Yeah, I've read parts of the Bible.

[Sean]

Right.

[Brady]

That's how you.

[Sean]

And yet it's the book that dictates every aspect of your future. But it's just not worth sitting down and reading. It's too hard.

[Brady]

You don't spend that much time on your future. You just know it's bright.

[Brett Vesley]

It's looking bright.

[Sean]

What are you, Timbuk3?

[Brady]

Yeah. It's so bright. I gotta wear shades.

[Sean]

You gotta wear shades. I understand. 9:00am Code word. The code word this morning is big shot. All one word. Big shot. B, I, G, S, H, O, T. Just like Billy Joel said. You got to be a big shot, didn't you? That's the 9am code word. You pop that in there, you get yourself all decked out and ready to go for your thousand dollars. You can win a thousand bucks from us right here by playing along. Take it in the app. We'll give you this nine o' clock word. You know it by now. I mean, if you haven't figured out by now, you're dense. You're not spelling any of these words right. If you're like, what's going on? There's a few of them. Trust me, we got a few. But, yeah, we'll make. We'll make sure you're covered on this thing. Thousand bucks going to somebody, and it's happened three times already, and we're just going to keep doing it. The winner most recently was Randy Troja sec. Troja sec. Or Troja sec. I don't know if the J is that way. Congratulations, Randy. You got your thousand bucks. And maybe it'll be you today, 9am Big shot. Hopefully you got all four words we gave you this morning. Fitz will give you five more starting at two. We're handing out money because we love you and that makes ratings happen. See how it works? Perfect. We are going to name John and Brett's heaven. John and Brett's Excellent Adventures. I think that's awesome. I think that is. My heaven's a much better. Who would you buy? If you're. If you're buying a heaven, which one do you want? Brett? Mine are dumb.

[Brett Vesley]

Brady's.

[Sean]

Well, come on. Yeah, exactly. I don't know if I preface that properly, but that seems to know you. My heaven.

[Brady]

You're kind of kind.

[Sean]

Yeah, you're stupid. Stupid. Brady's heaven.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, sell me Brady.

[Sean]

Yeah, give me. Give him the pitch. Pitch him.

[Brady]

I don't want to sell you. I don't want you there.

[Sean]

Okay. In mine, there's, like, roller coasters.

[Brett Vesley]

Why would I want to be there? He doesn't want me there.

[Sean]

This is another thing about my heaven. If you can imagine, it can happen. I just invented something. In John Heaven, it would be Brett's. Everybody gets one. But we'll just use you as the example. Brett's roller coaster of life, where it's an actual physical roller coaster of your highs and lows, and you get to see them as you go through.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, man.

[Sean]

There's like loop de loops. Like your divorce is a big loop de loop. And then it climbs way high.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Sean]

And then you get all the bumps and bruises along the way, but it's a ride. Your life becomes the Brett ride, and you get to see it as you go through. Brady, do you have anything better than that?

[Brady]

Yeah, all of that. That he's saying the feelings that you experience from that is going to happen and it's guaranteed because I have a God behind mine.

[Sean]

So do I, John.

[Brady]

No, you don't.

[Sean]

No, no. I'm talking about your heaven. I'm talking about your heaven, dumbass. I'm saying, oh, my own heaven. I'm sell. No, no, I'm selling your heaven. I don't believe in God, but I'm selling your heaven. If there is one. This is what I would want it to be. I would want your God to have invented this thing I'm talking about. And Brett's roller coaster of life would be awesome. John's roller coaster of life. Incredible. And then you get to relive those moments ago, man. Tough one. And then sometimes. And then you'll go back and see that girl you banged that you really kind of forgot about, like, whoa, that was fun. You just go around that turn, then you do a spiral. Brady just says, yeah, you need to.

[Brett Vesley]

Talk to his marketing guy.

[Sean]

My guy's better. I have a better PR agent. You're going with my advertising from way before his. His sucks. I had Brett at. Do you want to go ride dinosaurs on this heaven?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Sean]

What? There's lawsuits in heaven? Not in my heaven, buddy. My heaven. There's no lawyers. They don't make it.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, your people aren't there. False advertising.

[Sean]

Jews didn't get in. The Jews didn't get in. We just invented it. It's 904. We got the hot releases coming up in a little bit. My heaven rules, Brady. Heaven is. Your heaven is hell. Brady's super buffet. Like, you're telling me that it wouldn't just be awesome to experience it or go back in time? Anywhere you want to go and go have a meal. That's heaven.

[Brady]

It take me forever to decide, right?

[Sean]

Hey, buddy, you've got forever.

[Brett Vesley]

So I can go.

[Sean]

There you go.

[Brett Vesley]

So I can go back to the 60s and go to Vegas with Sinatra, Dean Martin, and the Rat Pack and.

[Sean]

Just chill out, just be near, have.

[Brett Vesley]

A couple cocktails, and I'll put that.

[Sean]

In your heaven, too. You come to me and you go.

[Brett Vesley]

Margot Robbie comes walking in.

[Sean]

I want to have an excursion. I'm like, what do you.

[Brady]

Without the gout?

[Sean]

Yeah. You come back in and you say, it has to be time. As you say, I just. Can you make heaven for a day where I get to go play with Sinatra and the boys in Vegas? And it's just going to be a natural happenstance where I'm there and they're. They're like, I like this kid. I want you to come with me, baby. I got this kid. He's going to tag along with us. What do you say about that, Dino? Hey, if he Wants to drink with us, he can. What's your name, son? Brett Fessley. I told you like him. Let's get him out of the town. And then you guys have this big fake AI adventure together and you come back and you're like, holmberg, your heaven is awesome. Have you tried my heaven? Where there's no food or jerking off? I'm back on John's team. You're insane. My heaven rules. And if I can think of a better heaven.

[Brady]

What you're describing is. Yeah, you've described heaven.

[Sean]

You didn't describe it very good. Yours was just. You just get floating around. Yeah, you do. I've been talking to people like all morning about this. They hated your heaven, man. Scrap it. Scrap it. Rebuild. Because already the riding dinosaurs going to the plague trips by in the 3212 Porsche already. Awesome. You're making me excited. That should have been in the book. None of this. And Logar begat blah Bleet and loophole. You can't understand that. If he's like, dude, listen, if you're nice to me the whole time you're down here, you get a roller coaster and a time travel pass. Riding dinosaurs.

[Brady]

That's the amazing thing about it. It's really not sold all that much. But yet we are.

[Sean]

No, we're not.

[Brady]

Still excited.

[Sean]

No, we're not there.

[Brett Vesley]

My just text me and says, I think I just heard you explode on the radio.

[Sean]

Yeah, because of that D. Martin thing. Yeah. How awesome would it be? Brett, can I give you heaven for a second, please, Please tell me if just in the middle of the night you're having some rigaton. You're having a good. It's a good plate. A good thick mama sauce. Good plate. Chowing down a rigaton. And you just hear, hey, buddy, pass the salt. Don't you mind?

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, man.

[Sean]

And then he just looks at you and he just goes, that's amore. Brett. You're my best friend. I just finished again. You're my best friend.

[Brett Vesley]

I just finished again.

[Sean]

And then Frank goes, how dare you, Dean? He's my best friend. Hey, guys. I thought he was my best friend. So Sammy. You know what we call Sammy around here, don't you, Brett? This is heaven.

[Brett Vesley]

Hours of laughter.

[Sean]

Yeah, just non stop. Hey, I wouldn't use that word too often. Hey, even in heaven, man, I can't catch a break up here, man.

[Brett Vesley]

Sold. Sold.

[Sean]

The best part of it all, Brett. There's no Joey Crawford. Who the hell is that guy? Oh, I'm sorry, Brady can't top it. No, you can't.

[Brady]

Some much better heaven.

[Sean]

That's how you sell heaven, my friend. You put them in there with a bunch of gang members eating rigaton. That's pretty awesome.

[Brett Vesley]

Frank and Dino.

[Sean]

I'd be religious if that's how they sold it. Just the. All the book has to say is. Listen, dudes, check out what you could like. We're gonna give you a roller coaster, like a time travel pass. Whoever you want to meet, you can meet. You get to hang out with them.

[Brady]

Jesus. I have a marketing guy for you.

[Sean]

Yeah, we have excursions. Oh, I'd be doing better than Joel Osteen, that's for sure. Stop jerking off. That's one of your rules. Okay, I stopped listening. Let's get to the hot releases in just a little bit. Brett. Just dead. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[Brady]

98. I'm Mike King from the podcast Profiling Evil. A place where true crime meets behavioral science. I spent my career investigating serial predators and studying the psychology behind them. Here, we don't just talk about what criminals did. We explore why they do what they do. We expose manipulation and control, look at how offenders select their victims and uncover the ways that they try to avoid detection. You find Profiling Evil on your favorite podcast platform.