11-06-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show

Episode: 11-06-25 – FULL SHOW – THURSDAY

Date: November 6, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Overview

This Thursday’s episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness captures the show's classic blend of Arizona sports disillusionment, irreverent comedy, and offbeat deep-dives into both news and personal stories. John Holmberg and crew spend much of the first hour lampooning the Arizona Cardinals’ dysfunction, delighting in the camaraderie (and miseries) of long-suffering sports fandom, then pivot to wild news items, viral stories, and R-rated pop culture commentary—with plenty of outrageous tangents along the way.

Tone: Highly irreverent, sarcastic, brash, candid, with genuine moments of empathy.

---

Key Segments & Discussion Highlights

1. Beautiful Arizona Mornings & the “Beaver Moon” (02:00-03:20)

• John sets a positive tone about Arizona’s gorgeous mornings, encouraging listeners to appreciate the landscape.
• Quote: “Look around and just go, you know what? This ain't so bad. I'm gonna make today better. Gosh. I'm motivational when the weather's right!” – John (02:25)

---

2. Arizona Cardinals Drama & QB Breakdown (03:20-16:50)

The Kyler Murray / Cardinals Saga

• Kyler Murray unexpectedly placed on “emotional IR”; speculation that the team is benching him for non-injury reasons.
• John is convinced the franchise tried to trade Murray but found no takers and is now “preserving” him to avoid drama.
• Suggests the Cardinals are prepping for “The Keaton Slovis Era” (third-string QB) after predicting Jacoby Brissett will inevitably get hurt against the Seahawks.
• Riffs on why fans are so loyal to franchises that bring them little joy—suggests fans should feel free to quit.
• Lavishes sarcasm on the Cardinals’ dysfunction as a franchise, likening sports loyalty to staying in a bad relationship.

Quote:
"Why are we so loyal? That stick giant. Nobody's ever stuck a sticker of their wife on the back of their car. But some guys will wreck brand new cars with humongous logos of their favorite football team." – John Holmberg (08:15)

Sports Loyalty Analogies

• Multiple, extended analogies comparing bad sports teams to bad relationships ("a fat pig who hasn't worked out in years"), calling the loyalty toxic.
• Quote: “The Cardinals are a big, fat woman who's not even combing her hair anymore.” – John (10:37)

---

3. Masculinity, Relationships & Pop Culture Confessions (16:50-33:59)

Viral Story: The Matt Khalil Divorce Tale

• Deep-dive into viral podcast interview where Matt Khalil’s ex-wife cites his “three Coke cans”-sized member as the reason for divorce.
• Crew riffs on what it would be like for your ex to publicly announce that as the reason—turns into a roundtable of bravado and self-deprecation.
• Pop culture digression: Kim Kardashian’s rumored attraction to “big energy” men and Pete Davidson, plus references to Tom Jones, Elvira, and the mythos of celebrity endowments.
• Extended, bawdy storytelling with mutual ribbing.

Quote:
"If there's been a divorce in history that's better, I haven't seen it." – John (17:50)

Social Media & Celebrity Relationships

• Joking about Kim Kardashian being on the prowl for men with a certain reputation; riffs on how rumors can snowball and draw in media attention.

---

4. News of the Weird: Irish Lion Sighting (37:41-46:57)

• John covers a story from Ireland where a mass of drunk locals mistake a Newfoundland dog for a loose lion.
• Multiple fake Irish call-in bits, lampooning Irish drinking culture and the subsequent chaos for local police.
• Points out how "news" is often just oddball viral content and how much of it is fueled by drunken misperception.

Quote:
“No one should ever take an Irishman seriously when they see a wild beast, because they're wrong. Their eyes are playing tricks on them.” – John (39:56)

---

5. Wedding Traditions, Gender & Body Image Satire (57:01-63:56)

• Roasts the logic and desperation behind bouquet and garter traditions at weddings.
• Lively analogies comparing bridesmaids fighting for the bouquet to moonwater “crystal” rituals and sports fandom.
• Sarcasm about body positivity, social desperation, and even the playlist/fat shaming at wedding dances.
• Mocking of the “garter belt” routine and its awkwardness for parents.

Quote:
"I've seen broads like bang into each other and stuff... they fight to catch it because they think it has, like, meaning. It has nothing. There's nothing to it. It's silly." – John (60:10)

---

6. Arizona Sports Championships & Local Fandom (50:51-56:20)

• Returns to theme of “loyalty to lousy franchises.” Points out that WNBA’s Phoenix Mercury have more titles than the Cardinals or any other local team, sparking riffs about what counts as a real title.
• Listeners and hosts trade barbs over what teams “count” for bragging rights—arena football, WNBA, community college.

---

7. Difficult Headlines: Tragic Family Story & Justice (69:01-81:24)

• Somber discussion of a tragic Arizona news story: a father who left his child in a hot car, resulting in her death, then later died by suicide before sentencing.
• John and the team wrestle with the ethics and ramifications when the remaining family expresses support for the father, examining what justice "looks like" in heart-wrenching circumstances.
• Crew maintains empathy while fielding tough listener emails.
• The rare, serious segment for this show.

Quote:
"I literally watched that, and I'm like, he shouldn't have gone to jail. If the wife's okay with it, if the mother of that child is like, look, I want him back... Who are we to say, I'll throw him in the joint?" – John (78:58)

---

8. NFL Ownership Accountability: Radical Fixes for Bad Franchises (83:01-88:19)

• John proposes a tongue-in-cheek system where fans could “vote out” NFL owners after X years of futility (no winning seasons or playoff appearances).
• Riffing on the injustice of unaccountable ownership and endless fan suffering (especially targeting the Cardinals, Bears, Browns, Jets).
• Imagines a dystopian competitive system where owners have to sell after repeated failure.

Quote:
“If you go seven years without a winning season, you should have to sell.” – John (84:06)

---

9. The Brady Report – Offbeat News & Etiquette (95:26-114:10)

• “Brady Report” delivers oddities: Maine health care system mailing death notices to living patients; the origin of “cyberspace;” inappropriate DJ behavior at weddings; copes with listeners’ jokes and soundbites from David Lee.
• More local color: listeners text in stories about Arizona wedding mishaps, expanding on earlier rants.
• Includes radio videos with dark humor: wedding fails, injuries, viral moments.

---

10. Sports Roundup with Dale Hellestrae (133:30–167:15)

Key Segments:

• Sports highlight and banter, especially about Cardinals’ locker-room drama and Kyler Murray’s tenure.
• Dale and John dissect Cowboys’ long-term culture issues, blaming Jerry Jones and the franchise’s soft/glamorous environment for lack of recent success.
• More local sports commiseration and fanduel bets for the week—trash talking and self-deprecating jokes throughout.
• Final discussion on upcoming local band contest “Playdio,” with Brett grumbling about having to listen to bad amateur music.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Bits

• On Arizona's scenery:
  “Don’t forget where you’re at, because it is. Absolutely. And you may be having a bad day, but look around and just go, you know what? This ain’t so bad. I’m gonna make today better.” – John (02:30)

• On Cards fan loyalty:
  “You don’t owe them anything… If they’ve never given you any joy, why are you still there?” – John (08:40)

• On comparing sports to relationships:
  “If you catch the bouquet, you win a treadmill. I want a man. Well, the reason you don't have one is because you don't have a treadmill. We're doing you two favors.” – John (59:13)

• On NFL Owner Thermonuclear Plan:
  “We should have some sort of way to neuter [owners] as owners and say you’re forced to sell the team. If, in fact, in seven years you have not hit every one of the... Like playoffs, second round...” – John (83:57)

• On Matt Khalil’s divorce legend:
  “If there’s been a divorce in history that’s better, I haven’t seen it.” – John (17:49)

---

Timestamp Guide

| Segment | Timestamp | |-------------------------------------|-------------| | Arizona mornings, “Beaver Moon” | 02:00–03:20 | | Cardinals Drama (Kyler IR/Slovis) | 03:20–16:50 | | Masculinity & Divorce Tales | 16:50–33:59 | | Irish “Loose Lion” Sighting | 37:41–46:57 | | Wedding Traditions Roast | 57:01–63:56 | | Local Sports Fandom, Title Debate | 50:51–56:20 | | Difficult Arizona News (Car Tragedy)| 69:01–81:24 | | NFL Owner “Ejection” Theory | 83:01–88:19 | | The Brady Report (News & Jokes) | 95:26–114:10| | Sports Roundup w/ Dale Hellistrate | 133:30–167:15|

---

Takeaways

• The show is at its sharpest bouncing from bleak Arizona sports reality to R-rated comedy, with listeners’ pain as both muse and target.
• Moments of real empathy (“law by feelings”) set against constant sarcasm.
• The hosts rely on personal stories and radical analogies to make their points relatable—whether skewering bad sports teams or commiserating over tough news.

Ideal for: Listeners who want local Arizona sports takes blended with dark, adult humor and rapid-fire banter; fans who tolerate NSFW personal stories; anyone seeking cathartic commiseration over being a long-suffering fan.

---

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brady Bogan]

Looking for the best football spot in town?

[John Holmberg]

Look no further than Hooters with wall to wall TVs, all the games, and the best specials anywhere. We have you covered.

[Brady Bogan]

Select Big Daddy beers starting at only $4 and the Hooties pick three for.

[John Holmberg]

Only $10.99 per person. It's a game changer. Honestly, where else can you go get.

[Brady Bogan]

Two beers, an appetizer, two entrees and two additional non al alcoholic drinks for under $30? Nowhere. So head to Hooters, your game day headquarters.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into MMP Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John Holmberg]

Why choose a sleep number Smart bed?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Can I make my site softer?

[John Holmberg]

Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler? Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side your sleep number setting. Enjoy personalized comfort for better sleep night after night. And now max out your savings. The more you buy, the more you.

[Brady Bogan]

Save on beds, bases and more.

[John Holmberg]

Plus get free home delivery on any smart bed with base limited time. Check it out at a sleep number store near you [e-mail] today.

[David Lee]

Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at.

[John Holmberg]

98Kupd.Com Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. It's 5:45 this the Morning Sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's big Dick Toledo. And we're off and running for a glorious morning with that great big wet beaver moon.

[Brady Bogan]

What was it called?

[John Holmberg]

Big Beaver moon. That's right, the wet beaver moon is. I think that's earlier in the year. Yes, the big beaver moon. If you get a chance before you kind of start vegging your way and Zombie. Off to work. Take a look up at that thing. It's pretty neat. It's good. Bright morning, too. Gorgeous outside. Once again, you live in paradise. I'm going to remind you on a regular basis that this is the time to be here. Yesterday I was driving down the road and the sun was setting. And I'm looking at. I think it was Papago. And like, just all the. It was just ridiculous. The colors. Oh, it was camelback. I was going down Lincoln Camelback. And it's just ridiculous. Like, everything in October in this state is absolutely stunning. Just stupid pretty. So I'm going to be the one that tells you to embrace it. Don't forget where you're at, because it is. Absolutely. And you may be having a bad day, but look around and just go, you know what? This ain't so bad. I'm gonna make today better. Gosh. I'm motivational. When the weather's right, gets hot. I understand. It's like chewing a poster. Yeah, no, we should. Nothing better than having my face on a poster. Tell you how your day can be better. Oh, put you in.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Hanging next to the cat.

[John Holmberg]

Now I'll be hanging in the tree going, at least you're not my face. And they'll be like, hey, that guy's right. Look around. It's pretty nice out.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Feel great about myself.

[John Holmberg]

It's flat. Beautiful, man. It is absolutely awesome outside. And then, of course, the story. I think every man reads this. I'll get your six o' clock word here in a little bit. Don't worry about it. I'm thinking about the story that I've gotten. Well, let's start here then. Kyler Murray is now on emotional ir. There's nothing about Kyler Murray's injury that three weeks later should land him on the ir, but he's now on the ir, which means I've been talking about the front of mine this morning. They tried to shop him. I guarantee I'm right about. They tried to shop him. The prices were not right for either side. He's stuck here. And instead of putting Jonathan Gannon in a spot to say, I replace Kyler Murray through injury, which you're not supposed to do, and to keep his psyche quiet, keep paying him and say, look, dude, we're saving your ass here.

[Brady Bogan]

We're.

[John Holmberg]

We couldn't move you, we would have moved you. He's not happy here. They're putting him on, you know, injured reserve for the time being. Now, maybe it doesn't end the season for him, but eight weeks I'M with you. They're preserving him and preserving him. It's been. He's been re. He was ready, almost ready to go last week.

[Dale Hella Stray]

They could close this deal so easy if they just added some Weathertech mats. Yeah, Rust proofing.

[John Holmberg]

The rust proofing and an Xbox.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Throwing an Xbox. This dude, he'll. He'll take less money if you give him, like, access to the Xbox world or, God forbid, you give him a tour of the PlayStation facilities or Rockstar games. Oh, my goodness. Kyla.

[Brett Vesely]

He could have went in last week. There was a chance that he could.

[John Holmberg]

Right before the game, they're like, he's inactive. It's still not quite right, but he's almost there. So now suddenly, he won't be playing for the next four weeks for sure. It won't even be eligible. And that just takes the argument off the table, for media's sake, that. That screams to me that internally there's a little bit of work. We're not playing you, and I don't want you to go crazy, but we're going to. Yeah, we're going to. And if you don't want to play here, that's fine, too. Something ain't right down there in Arizona Cardinal land. And I think Cardinal fans are like, good, the argument's over. But that made it a lot easier for Jonathan Gannon, who has placed his feet in mud by saying over and over, no, Kyler's starting. When he comes back, he's my guy. Even though clearly they've been a little bit better off with Jacoby Brissette. So there you go, Cardinal fans. You get to start over again next year.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It's a tough place. You gotta keep the value on them if you can.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, you can't. You can't risk that injury that's tweaked a little to get worse. So you definitely, like, it's not perfect, and I'm not gonna risk this. And then Gannon even said yesterday there's still a chance at the end of the season he comes back. I really hope that happens. I. Something terrible would have to be on the board. Here's my prediction for the rest of the Cardinal season especially, and I'm going to say it happens this weekend. Oh, you're going to hate me. Guys, prepare for the Tyler Slovis era, because Jacoby's going to have something happen to him this weekend. Dig him up, maybe a rib or something, and then you'll be stuck with Tyler Slovis. I think his name's Tyler. His last name Slovis. That's their third string quarterback who has now been bumped up to two. Slovis will be the most the guy that you're going to be selling your tickets to other people for for low, low prices. The Slovis era begins in the third quarter of this weekend's game.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Gets the Sea Chickens.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they got Seahawks.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Six and a half is the COVID.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they're going to cover. Well, maybe not. Depends if Jacoby can put. But the Seahawks are killing quarterbacks right now. So here comes Mr. Seahawks. Yeah, here. Oh, here come. I got. I wish I had my Russian national anthem right now. I want to test that out.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Keaton Slovis.

[John Holmberg]

Keaton, that's right.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Was he from the. He was USC quarterback, right?

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Tyler Sluck or Slough or whatever is.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I don't know who. Mr. Keegan. Keegan. Ken. Oh, that's not even a name. Keaton Slovis. No. Well, I'll get used to the Keaton Slovis era and the Seahawks will put it in. Seahawks knocking quarterbacks out last week and for the future. So, Jacoby, I don't wish injury upon you. It's just inevitable that the Cardinals will have Slovis start for a few games and then they're going to make a call to like Max hall and say, I know you haven't played for a few years. We want to come back for a couple of minutes because we got nobody left.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Hey, Skelton, what are you doing?

[John Holmberg]

Max Hall. Kevin Cobb might make a. I'm 40, but I can still do this. Maybe.

[Brett Vesely]

Where's the old coach coat McCoy.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, maybe Colton McCoy can come back for a minute. Yeah, yeah, little Colt McCoy was around. Yeah, that's not bad.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Moved on, I think. Keaton quarterback somewhere.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, is it?

[John Holmberg]

The hell is a Keaton? How do you even come up with that name? Keaton Slovis. Well, that'll happen. So count on a Cardinal fans, you're going to be cheering for Keaton Slovis. And I tell you this, there are 31 viable options. Well, wait, there's 28 viable options as franchises for you Cardinal fans to jump off this wagon. You don't owe them anything. And if they continue to stink annually and you got to start over next year, let me highly recommend moving on the. I would tell you this if it was a woman, but we just are so loyal to our sports teams in such a terrible fashion. If they've never given you any joy, why are you still there? I understand a Patriots team going through A rebuild. Steelers, packers, even the Cowboys to a certain degree. But they're getting close to Balin. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why are we so loyal? That stick giant. Nobody's ever stuck a sticker of their wife on the back of their car. But some guys will wreck brand new cars with humongous logos of their favorite football team. And when I see them, and it's my team too, I'm like, yeah. Wrecked his hundred thousand dollar G wagon with a Steelers decal on the window.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hella Stray]

By the way, Keaton, Desert Mountain Scottsdale High School.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's even worse that he wasn't good enough for me to actually go. That kid's going to be a pro someday. Good for you, Keaton. He's good enough to go pro, but.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Did his three years at usc.

[John Holmberg]

Good for you, Keaton Slovis. Never heard of you don't watch college football. Absolutely. Don't watch Pac12 football back in the USC days when they just scored 60 points, but it didn't matter.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Well, he started out at byu.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's a Mormon on top of it all. Anyway, that'll be the one. I'm. That's what I'm putting my money on. If I could go with a fanduel on that one right now, maybe underdog has that. Underdog has the higher lower quarters that Jacoby Brissette has left. And Keaton Slovis becomes the face of the franchise. Oof.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Wonder if they do. That would be a good.

[John Holmberg]

Be a nice little. A nice little offering. So I just got attacked. Screw you. I know Cardinal fans. I'm sorry. Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby. All this BS you're talking about the Cardinals, I think it's going to come back your way. Aaron Rodgers is going down. Maybe. Maybe. But wouldn't you think that a Cardinal fan yelling at a Steeler fan would say you guys are about to be in quarterback purgatory and rebuild too. We've been rebuilding. And we're 9 and 8 or 10 and 7 every year during the rebuild. It's not been that bad. You guys have never actually rebuilt anything. Who do you have more faith in figuring it out? The Steelers franchise or the Cardinals franchise?

[Brett Vesely]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

Aaron Rodgers. He's a rental. He might get hurt. And then we're like, oh, well, this season's over. That's true of all quarterbacks. But your quarterbacks get hurt and you guys are on the clock. And you are on the clock anyway. Just saying, Kyle, I understand it hurts when somebody calls your Girlfriend. A fat pig. But you're dating a fat pig and she ain't working out. The Cardinals are a big, fat woman who's not even combing her hair anymore.

[Brett Vesely]

She hasn't worked out in a few.

[John Holmberg]

Years, and she keeps expecting you to buy things for her. How come you don't have a detail of me on the back of the car? Because I don't see a future with you.

[Irish Caller]

You're not loyal.

[Brady Bogan]

You're a bad fan.

[John Holmberg]

All right, all right, I'll go. You're right. I feel bad. We're trying. I guess that's true. All right, I'll put another decal. Why didn't you do the garage floor with one of the Cardinals logos? John did it for the Stalers on his basketball court. Yeah, because they've given him joy.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm trying.

[John Holmberg]

All right, all right, I'll do it. Is it because your closet is so cardinal heavy that you can't quit? Why are you a Bears fan? Is it because you've got so much Bears stuff already?

[Brett Vesely]

You grow up that way and you stick with it.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, yeah, I think that has to end at a certain age. I get it. Yeah. I think you have to quit.

[Brett Vesely]

But we've had one.

[Dale Hella Stray]

The heritage team.

[John Holmberg]

You have had one. You know the joy.

[Brett Vesely]

I know the joy of it. In my lifetime, I've seen it. So I won.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And then it seemed like for a few years, you've. You were going to keep doing that, and then just the wheels fell off for some reason. But, man, this is talking about, you.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Know, generations in advance in a big market, Chicago, people just have cling to the teams.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't get why that's the same in baseball with you, with the Cubs for how many years, too?

[John Holmberg]

You know what I'm telling you from experience, quitting, it was great. Joy bailing on that disaster, that was toxic.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but I'm not jumping on a bandwagon. Like, what am I supposed to do? Go to be a Cardinals fan because I live here now? No, no.

[John Holmberg]

God, no. I'm not telling you to ever leave the Bears for the Cardinals. That's leaving a fat, ugly girl for a fat, ugly girl.

[David Lee]

Hey.

[John Holmberg]

I'll burn you. You remind me of my ex. Have you ever said that to anybody you wanted to spend time with? She's just like my ex.

[Dale Hella Stray]

F. No.

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing? Find something different.

[Dale Hella Stray]

The weather's warmer, so she's going to be in half shirts more often.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so hot.

[Brady Bogan]

And I'm body.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God, she's body positive. She thinks she's something. That's what the Cowboys have become. A body positive fat girl. She still walks around with swagger. I was a pageant winner in the 80s.

[Irish Caller]

What happened?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Cowboy boots?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She's like. Well, back in 93, I won Ms. America. Yeah, but you have done nothing good since. I still look good. I just gotta work on it. Yeah, now you're dating a big fat pig that used to be a beauty queen.

[Brett Vesely]

You got three people already. Keep it up. Juno's. You're going to have Kyler next year.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe he'll be good with the Steelers. It'll probably work out. I know my team's fate right now. It's not been great, but we win every year. At least it's been like it hasn't. Our pain is we keep winning and not enough. We win 10 games a year.

[Dale Hella Stray]

You know, there's going to be so much. Yeah, we're pretty much.

[John Holmberg]

We're going to win. It's just what our expectations are. No, no, no. 10 games. No, we need 13 a year. And we need to compete for Super Bowls. We're mad that our team is not winning playoff games, but we go every year. You guys have to rebuild constantly. You could call me. Juno's all you want. I'm right about this, and trust me, I've changed my tune. When I was forced by you guys, who remembered my claim against the Cubs that if the Diamondbacks made it to the World Series after two animal sacrifices, which actually are real, they went to the World Series twice after killing animals.

[Irish Caller]

That's what they do.

[John Holmberg]

I would highly recommend they throw baseballs at birds all through spring training. See if they can pull this off again because they're two for two. And I said, if they go to the World Series, and this was in May, and I'll quit being a Cubs fan because the Cubs are pissing me off anyways. The new owners, all this stuff made me mad. And then they did it, and I kind of reluctantly gave up on the Cubs. It was the most freeing thing I've ever felt in my life. I pay attention to them still, like, you know, when you get divorced. But they're still friends. I'm still friends with the Cubs. I just no longer have any sexual interest in her. I'm happy for her if she bangs other dudes.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Truly just friends.

[Irish Caller]

We're just friends.

[John Holmberg]

We're just friends. I'd love to go out with. I'll occasionally have a lunch with the Cubs during the playoffs. I'm like, I'm gonna sit down and watch my ex. I hope she does well. It's nice.

[Brett Vesely]

What?

[John Holmberg]

But I don't care if she does. That's what I'm saying. Some people have that breath. Some people have friendships with their ex. It's almost like we've got kids together. I've got a closet full of memories. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they were a waste of time before.

[Brett Vesely]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

It says. So Kyler Murray is the Deandre Ayton Colin Kaepernick of the Cardinals. Yeah, he absolutely is. He is. Okay. Just a weirdo who's kind of banged himself out of it. I'm just. I'm trying to be realistic for you Cardinal fans. And I'm telling you, it's not so bad when you start seeing this stuff. And just when you are. When you are considering buying. Buying a Keaton Slovis jersey.

[David Lee]

Maybe I should get one of these. Kid look pretty good in that last game.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to get excited for him because nobody's got tape on him. He'll come out and throw for 250 yards in a game. Be like, hey, we got something here. And then he'll become Max Hall. Trust me, you guys would be happier. It's true. Six o'. Clock. Word is $d o l l a r. That's what you need. I just want to give that little pep talk to Cardinal fans out there. It's not going to be easy, Slovis. Then you got to play Matthew Stafford later and it'll be the Slova Stafford battle. And you're gonna see what it could be like and what it is. It's not easy.

[David Lee]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

And then the flip side on the NFL. Brady and I were talking about this off the air. I pray to God that someday it's not gonna happen. Brady's guy, all of us that I know, a man whose wife goes public with the reason they got divorced. And it wasn't because they couldn't get along. It's because the dude's dick was, as she describes, maybe three Coke cans long. It's like having three Coke cans in a row. Yeah. Her name is Haley Khalil.

[Dale Hella Stray]

What do you expect?

[John Holmberg]

Look at that. Yeah. And she dated Matt Khalil and she said he's a big man. And they tried everything they could to have sex together, but couldn't because his size was so enormous that it just. She just couldn't do it. And it wasn't even about her body. She is just one of them normal vaginas. And he had. She said it was like trying to shove two Coke cans stacked on each other. And she goes, no, actually probably closer to three. Three Coke cans. And she's going public with it. And if there's been a divorce in history, that's better. I haven't seen it.

[Brett Vesely]

I'd come strutting in that courtroom like George Jefferson. Moving on up, man.

[John Holmberg]

Your honor, I'm just gonna let my ex wife tell everybody why we're getting divorced and why it's. They can't be reconciled. Go on, honey, please.

[Irish Caller]

His dick is so big. Your honor.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, go ahead, tell him, baby. You guys can't get along long enough because of his big wiener.

[Irish Caller]

We both want to be physically pleased and it's just impossible. He's got that gigantic giraffe neck.

[Dale Hella Stray]

They tied the knot in 2015.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She's been trying to jam it in there for. For nine years. She's like, you can't do this, man. Nine years. Couldn't even like babies come out of women. And that's what it's like. She said it was like giving birth. You just get it. Just miserable. And then add the. Add in the fact that you know, he's tapping into the bottom of her lungs. It's the best thing I've ever heard anyone talk about with divorce. If I ever heard your ex wife say, I loved Brett, I wish I could have stayed with him, but his dick was so huge that we had to get divorced to be like, rest my new best friend.

[Brett Vesely]

I wouldn't be with you guys. I'd be in the movies.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you would. Why would you be here sitting up.

[Brett Vesely]

This early in the morning?

[John Holmberg]

I would sit you down in the office and go, I gotta let you go. What's the matter? Your dick's too big to work here?

[Brady Bogan]

What?

[John Holmberg]

That's what my wife said. I know you need to move on with big dick dreams, but what.

[Dale Hella Stray]

How did they.

[Brett Vesely]

She knew going in.

[John Holmberg]

She thought eventually she could. It's a ball glove.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Married for a couple years.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're breaking a ball glove with a baseball. You're breaking a ball glove with a softball. This dude was a Hyundai. And it was just stretch it out or what? Something around it. She needed to go home and put a thing of canned yams in there and just tie a string around it and walk around all day.

[Brett Vesely]

Butterball turkey or something?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, something in there. One of those family sized pack of beans, you know, and just sit down on that and just go, this is the lot I've chosen. And loosen that thing.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Up.

[Irish Caller]

Couldn't do it.

[Dale Hella Stray]

She got into it at, you know, basically 23, right around there. Now she's 33.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And for the first year or two, they just like, oh, she's just so tight. And then it's like, no, it's you, man. This thing. And then she probably watched some porn and said, why are all these little wienered guys making so much money? She was young. She thought it would work itself out. And then after a while she's like, I'm not enjoying this at all. This dude's a airport windsock.

[Brett Vesely]

I got on the flip side of it, though. Now any dude seeing her is going to be like, whoa.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Now, that's the problem. Now, maybe there was a nice payout to make her comfortable with that.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But, yeah, she's got a. She's got a. Got a cavern. She's got. She's got to wear in that cavern. That still wasn't big enough. Yeah, it's going to make you and I bounce around like we're playing pinball. Yeah. So that's a great story and congratulations to Matt Khalil, who's going to die of a heart attack as the blood flow to that. And here's where I say, and this is. This has happened in the past. Enter Kim Kardashian. It's been a while since we've had her banging somebody barrister, but every time. Well, not yet. She can't pass test. Every time there's a big wiener rumor, she comes poking her head in the door. Remember Pete Davidson?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

All the rumors about him the same way, too. Who isn't? Kate Beckinsale?

[John Holmberg]

Beckinsale likes a big one. I don't know if she likes the harmful size, but she likes a big one. But Kim Kardashian always pokes her head around the corner, goes, somebody says, somebody in here's got a bde. Matt. Clues like, yeah, how you doing? It's like, hi, I'm Kim Kardashian. I can take your wad. And then he's like, wow, Pete Davidson. The only reason he dated her was Kim Kardashian said out loud, rumor was he had a big one. And I was into some BD energy at that point and I needed it, so I tested it out. She didn't care about his personality. And then there he was for a couple months hosing that till she was like, all right, that's enough of that. Somebody's ready for it. If I was a matchmaker, Kim Kardashian, Matt Khalil, they're the couple of 20, 26. She's gonna poke her head in there. She's gonna look around going, hey, I got four kids. Two of them came out of me and two of my paid to keep this thing together. You want to see it?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Kardashian threw Pete off so bad, he bought a stat 9 ferry.

[John Holmberg]

After they broke it off, Colin Jost, he bought a boat. And he. And he and John Collins. Jost did that because it was like, man, get my BDE out here. Maybe Rose with it. But was he aft. Was.

[Brett Vesely]

Was she after.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Ariana Grande.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

She was one of the ones.

[Brett Vesely]

So he destroyed her, too.

[Brady Bogan]

Then.

[John Holmberg]

Evidently, she took that like a chat. I heard her do interviews about it, and she was like, it's great. When I saw it, I was like, all right, it's gonna take some work.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Damn.

[John Holmberg]

Ariana said in an interview that the mouth was off. She got a big mouth, too. She's like, I was just not gonna happen. Yeah. Those are the types of stories no one will tell about me ever, ever, ever. You leave me. You never have that. I couldn't be with him anymore. He was just too big. And dudes will take that. We'll take a life of no sex if the reason why is well known that it's like, I'll kill you with it. It's too dangerous to bang me. That's it.

[Irish Caller]

Hey, Matt.

[John Holmberg]

I heard about your wang. Sorry. Yeah, I know. It's a tough, tough life. You want to see it? Yes, I do. Here it is. Three Coke cans, just like she said.

[Dale Hella Stray]

You want the Khalil drill?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Can't have it. You gotta be pretty huge for that. I've. I'm having a sex doll made. It's about the size of an elephant. I'm gonna start nailing that. And then the worst part about it is this story will be the greatest thing that's ever happened to Matt Khalil. Because women love hearing that the last girl couldn't take it. They're gonna be the one. It's the best trick ever on girls is to say, no one's ever made me finish from oral.

[Irish Caller]

What I could. I'm great at it.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't. No one can do it. It's not that great.

[Irish Caller]

I'll show you that.

[John Holmberg]

Worked at Tony Roma's, like, four times. Telling girls that I don't. That I like it, but it's. There's. I've never been able to.

[Irish Caller]

Oh, really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Can't. I can't finish. You can try, but I can't finish.

[Irish Caller]

Oh, you'll finish with me.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think so.

[Irish Caller]

You'll see.

[John Holmberg]

And girls that didn't even like me, like, this is working. And then I'd be like, oh, oh, oh. Hey, you are good at it.

[Irish Caller]

I told you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Who won here? Showed me. Oh, did he not give the word? Dollar. I gave it up. Dollar. Yeah. Toledo came in with the word communist.

[Brady Bogan]

Word.

[John Holmberg]

Word. Toledo. Dollar is the six o' clock word. Yeah. So that's a pretty good one. But the Kardashians gonna come in and Matt Khalil's gonna get every girl's. Like, I heard your last girlfriend couldn't take it. I can. And they're going to try, and a lot of them will fail. But you know who's going to win that fight every time? Matt Khalil. Congratulations, Matt. You're today's man of the Year. That is a great one. And he looks like he's out of breath carrying that thing around if you ever look at a picture of him. But, yeah, she went on some podcast to talk about, like, why she got divorced. And that's a good woman right there. It's tough to let that go.

[Irish Caller]

Just couldn't take the size. He's just so.

[John Holmberg]

Anything else wrong with the marriage?

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[Irish Caller]

Just felt like I was getting hit by a Peterbilt every single day, and I had to go.

[John Holmberg]

She'S pretty, too.

[Dale Hella Stray]

And then it gets into that mix. Halle Bailey.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Halle Bailey. Halle Berry. Halle Berry. There's too many of these people with similar names that are getting famous. Her name is Haley Berry, you know, Halle. Halle Bailey Bailey. Then there's a Halle Berry. Then there's a Haley Berry. That's too many of these, and I don't know which one's what. But none of them can take Matt Khalil's prank. Her name is Haley Khalil, but they keep going back to her maiden name. I just stick with the Haley Khalil. That doesn't confuse me as much because.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Maybe she sticks with that as her influencer name or handle if she's still doing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's doing Instagram. She even said she looked up doing, like, lipo on his wang.

[Dale Hella Stray]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they were kind of try to.

[Brett Vesely]

Did he agree to this?

[John Holmberg]

Suck some out of the way.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Here's where the divorce.

[John Holmberg]

He's like, I love you so much. I'm willing to talk about it, but it ain't happening.

[Irish Caller]

We need to shrink it.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. We need to grow you. Such a great story. She said the doctor said he was like, 0.01% of the male population on the planet. The doctor is even like, let's take a look at this, see what we can do. Your wife probably could stretch out and maybe. Holy smokes. Nope. No way.

[Brady Bogan]

You gotta divorce that woman.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna kill her. Doc, I gotta. I would go to every doctor in the world. It could be Johns Hopkins. Got a problem. Let's see. What is it? Yeah, we can't do anything about that. We gotta cut it. What's the problem? What are you bitching about? What do you want? Think you're a woman? We could dice this up. It would look like, you know, a smorgasbord of, like, multiple pieces of sausage. What are you thinking here? Could you take a little off the top? I'm gonna punch you square in the nose, macalew. You're living every man's dream.

[Dale Hella Stray]

You think the women are Eventually. Are you that former Viking with a giant dong?

[John Holmberg]

We can't go out says, don't forget he's got a brother named Ryan who played in the NFL. John burning question. Is he hung too? Or is it now one of those examples where the lesser brother has to hear about this now? That's true. Like, Ryan Khalil is now in the locker room going, yeah, I didn't get one of those.

[Brett Vesely]

And his locker guys are like, damn, what happened to you, bro?

[John Holmberg]

Your brother took all of it.

[Brady Bogan]

Shared a woman.

[John Holmberg]

He sucked up. Even the next dude's Wayne.

[Brett Vesely]

This is like twins.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. I'm the Danny DeVito penis. He's the Arnold one. And she went on. It's like, we tried everything. It was impossible. Unless she didn't mind crying every time. He was like, two Coke cans on top of each other and maybe even a third. And then the host of the lady was just her. Like, they were loving it. They were just thinking, that's awesome, instead of just going, oh, you poor girl. They weren't even emotionally supportive of this girl who had just been bone tomahawked in the center of her life. They had a baby. He put a baby in her. His sperm came out the size.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Sperm was like a kindergartner. It just walked in here. Yeah, it would be like a. A broken hose, for God's sakes. Anyway, congratulations, Matt Khalil. Reading that story was fantastic. Pretty good stuff. There's a body positive one out there, too, called Haley Belly, evidently. I don't know about her, but she's evidently a big, fat Halle Berry. Haley Berry. Haley Belly. I Don't know what's going on out there with this name. This one said John. Do you ever see the story about Elvira, the time she was with Tom Jones and she ended up in the hospital because of his crank? That has been a rumor about Tom Jones because he used to wear those tight pants on purpose, and it didn't look like he stuffed his pants. Although that I remember. My mom liked Tom Jones a lot. And we were watching, you know, he goes on stage and starts that, huh. Not unusual to be my mom's.

[Irish Caller]

Like, oh, he is just a dream about.

[John Holmberg]

And I remember being a little kid and kind of being mad because I didn't realize your mom was a human being. And she wasn't supposed to, like, she didn't have desires. So I found it creepy. So I was like, five, and we were watching tv, and my mom flipped out about Tom Jones. I'm like, you're not supposed to like anybody but him. Like, I got. And my dad's sitting there going, tom Jones. You know that's fake, right? And I didn't get that part until later. And then you realize that down his leg was this mammoth piece. It shouldn't have been on tv. Like, it was an outline of a. Of a wiener. And he almost killed Elvira with it. And I bet you Elvira's been around the block. That thing wasn't. That thing wasn't, you know, showroom fresh when she was banging Tom Jones, but.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Well, she flipped. Scared her from men.

[John Holmberg]

She went lesbian.

[Brett Vesely]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I heard Elvira did.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I didn't know that.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I think she's had a partner for a while.

[Irish Caller]

No kidding.

[John Holmberg]

Since when? When she got old.

[Dale Hella Stray]

After Tom Jones.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Tom Jones destroyed it. I'm not doing that twice, but Was she older when she. I didn't know Elvira was a lesbian. Yeah, no kidding, huh? Way to go, Tom Jones.

[Brett Vesely]

Somebody's saying that Matt's already remarried.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we have her wife. His wife's on the line right now. Ms. Khalil, are you there? Yeah, that's her. That's her for sure. That's authentic. Her mouth doesn't work anymore. It stretched her lip muscles out. She has to only eat soup, and it ain't pretty.

[Dale Hella Stray]

His brother Ryan looks like he's been married since 2008.

[John Holmberg]

She's. She's not going on any podcast.

[Irish Caller]

Ryan's fine. Should have had that one.

[John Holmberg]

That's Matt Khalil's new wife. And. Is that his infant? That's what it's A boy. Good Christ. Lucky little bastard. And he's got a pretty wife.

[Brett Vesely]

The other one might have been a little bit better, though.

[John Holmberg]

The other one was pretty.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, look, she's crying.

[John Holmberg]

Of course. She just finished lovemaking. It's traumatic. Sorry. Oh, there she is. Feeling that baby. That might not be a baby bump. That might be in. He's in her right there. That's. That's not it. She's not pregnant. He's just behind her. Oh, my God. Yeah, she's. She's got. She looks scared.

[Brett Vesely]

She's like Bruce Willis's girl in Pulp Fiction almost.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Adriana or whatever.

[Irish Caller]

Blueberry pancakes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there she is, kind of naked. That's pretty good, man.

[Brett Vesely]

What does that just say?

[John Holmberg]

I think Matt Khalil might be an ass man, and unfortunately, that's never gonna be an option for him. She's very pretty. Good for you, Matt.

[Brett Vesely]

Somebody wrote, I love them. Stretch marks. So attractive. That's from him.

[John Holmberg]

It is. He wrote that about his own life on a post.

[Brett Vesely]

Somebody wrote that?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Oh, it's from him. I see what you're saying. I thought he'd posted that. He likes a woman with stretch marks. That means she's trying. Yeah, she's pretty good. But you could park a sedan in her. Matt Khalil, today's new hero. And all you guys. All you guys who've been divorced and never had a. Your wife, go call Troy Hayden at channel 12.

[Irish Caller]

I want to talk about Brady Bogan and our relationship.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Tonight at 5, Brady Bogan's ex wife comes clean.

[Irish Caller]

Brady's.

[Dale Hella Stray]

We.

[Irish Caller]

It was so big.

[John Holmberg]

We couldn't stay married, and you'd be like that. I'm not suing anyone. I'm just gonna let her go. Let her talk it out. It's good therapy. And maybe it is her way of making it so he'll. You know. All other women find him repulsive, but he's moved on.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It's amazing that.

[John Holmberg]

There's the ax. Yeah, the X is pretty good.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Haley Bailey. Halle Bailey.

[John Holmberg]

Halle Bailey. Whatever. Khalil, Just say Khalil has held off.

[Dale Hella Stray]

For three years on this story.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, she had to recover, Brady. Yeah. The surgery scars had to heal before. Yeah, she's got it. She's got to basically tell everybody. I've. I've sprung back. I was in traction for two years, and then I had to start walking again. I had to teach myself to walk and talk again. Yeah, she's pretty good. And she does Instagram videos. Huh? That's her job. She's one of those there. She's eating noodles. They just fall right in. Mouth of hers. It's like a snake. Anyway, it's a great story.

[Brett Vesely]

Big mouth, too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she does.

[Brett Vesely]

Whoa.

[John Holmberg]

Still not enough. Still just not enough. Yeah, she needs a mouth like that thing from Alien. He's got to open up and have another mouth in it.

[Brett Vesely]

It's like the Deck park tunnel.

[John Holmberg]

You can build Margaret T. Hansen her head. Homeless guys just on her ears walking around going, where are we, man? What's going on? The. The word for six o' clock is $D, O, double L, A, R dollar. Knock that out. Maybe you'll get a thousand of those dollars right there. That's your six o' clock promo code. Where Give us a Wake up song. 585-9800. We'll scream it together. It's 98, Kupiti. Sorry about your wank.

[David Lee]

Wake Up, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

He said fully erect. 98.

[David Lee]

Still streaming. Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com thanks.

[John Holmberg]

Miles to nowhere. That's Katie and the Hobbs getting us kicked off here. Once again, the seven o' clock word is coming your way in just moments. Get ready for that. Our conversation about Matt Khalil created conversations in people's homes. Guy emails in and says, my wife was listening with me and told me, don't you worry, I'm never going to divorce you because of that. And then people are mad at me about saying, you should leave the Cardinals. Now I'm just saying it's, you know, you don't have to look at my situation and get mad. The Steelers have more anything for a long time. You're right. But which franchise has given more joy to the fan base? I ask you that. Which one has you? You're going to draft another 21st pick and be average again next year. Maybe you're right. You're going to draft second or third again and strike out again. How often can this franchise disappoint you?

[Dale Hella Stray]

And if you look at the history.

[John Holmberg]

Of their history proves for the Steelers, right? The drought is pretty reasonable. You know, we have a long. Right now, it's been like, wow, it's been a long time since we've been to the Super Bowl. We've been there eight times. This franchise gives back. The Cardinals are like a wife that, like, makes an announcement that she hates blowjobs. Whoa. To everybody. And you're like, wait a second, is my wife screaming that she'll never do that? Yes, I will never do that this one says, john, you said it a while ago with the Suns. I want them to win so bad so I can finally be done with it. 40 years of their crap and I'm ready to be over it. Yeah, it's a. Sports has us. Chael Sonnen got me years ago when he said that after a while you're just cheering for laundry and they just keep asking for more money. What are they giving you? It is great joy. There is a lot of fun to it, but, man, when a franchise just can't do it. And Justin, I understand your pain. Justin emails quite a bit. He says, john, I enjoy this show well enough. You're certainly better than any other show in the Valley. But every time you tell us Cardinal fans to switch teams like a woman, I count the days left on your contract. Go eff yourself and God bless Justin. That's true, Justin. I accept that. I understand it's emotional and I'm tapping a nerve, but I'm just trying to open your eyes. Just trying to open your eyes a little bit to the idea that this franchise is going to continually let you down. I know this from being a Cubs fan. I'm like one of those dudes who was an addict and got aids. And now I'm telling you, hey, here's how you avoid that. And they cured my aids, but I had AIDS for a long time and now I'm trying to help folks out. I know you don't want to hear it. You gotta live your life and go to the clubs and maybe get AIDS too.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Your eyes have been opened.

[John Holmberg]

But I'll just say, when a franchise is toxic, when they finally win the big one, it doesn't feel good. Oops, sorry. It doesn't feel good. Just makes you go, all right, I can walk away now. Now I know what that is, and it wasn't that great. Wasn't worth the wait. You think it is, but it's not. That Cubs world championship was more of a relief. It was almost like, remember the day you signed divorce papers? You're like, oh, this is over. It's exactly how it felt. And you try to fake like, yay.

[Irish Caller]

This is the greatest day ever.

[John Holmberg]

Like, I'm not feeling anything extra. This is. I just want to go to sleep. Pretty amazing. I saw a story this morning, made me laugh hysterically. And it made me realize that it should be in the news probably every day. And I'm surprised it's not in Ireland. There were a bunch of phone calls to the local police department.

[Irish Caller]

Hey, I gotta look out the window there.

[John Holmberg]

And I seen my.

[Irish Caller]

There's a loose lion outside.

[John Holmberg]

All right, all right, have another drink. All right, have another one. Have another one. Calm her down over there, Ray. You're good. Click, PHONE RINGS Good eye.

[Irish Caller]

Just looking out the window there. Saw lion, loose lion walking about. All right, all right, that's enough. This jokes. This joke's going on long enough now. That's enough.

[John Holmberg]

Click, PHONE RINGS hi, police department.

[Irish Caller]

There's a loose lion. Rock walking about. Yeah, you gotta probably go look at this.

[John Holmberg]

People think there's a loose lion. Usually a bunch of Irish drunks. Somebody cut their dog like this. And Irish drunks thought it was a lion walking the streets. He just had a haircut. Clearly the Irish have never been to a zoo or remember it. My guess is the latter.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It's a dwarf lion.

[Irish Caller]

Yeah, it's like tiny little lion, but I still ain't going outside. It's got a mane.

[John Holmberg]

What do you think it weighs?

[Irish Caller]

I don't know, six stone?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's. Wait a minute. What? It's only like £90.

[Irish Caller]

Yeah, I didn't say it was a killer line, but it's lying nonetheless.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It's a baby.

[Irish Caller]

It's a lion out there. It's a little wee lion walking about, not letting it. Not going out there. I've got 14 kids. What do you think? When I have 14 kids out there.

[John Holmberg]

Lying, eat it weighs about 10 pints.

[Irish Caller]

Yeah, I don't know what he looks like. You take down about nine or ten pints.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It's a wee lion.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a great big lion.

[Irish Caller]

I'm calling about the lion, though.

[John Holmberg]

Where are you?

[Irish Caller]

If I don't hear the sirens coming soon in that Irish.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wait, I'm gonna get upset. So, yeah, police in Ireland had to investigate a vid and people were sending videos.

[Irish Caller]

I told you, look, it's a lion.

[John Holmberg]

And from a distance, the other drunk Irish cops, like, I'll be.

[Irish Caller]

Blarney, blarney, blarney, it's a lion. Faith in Begora, whatever that is.

[Dale Hella Stray]

County Kerry.

[Irish Caller]

Yeah, whatever, whatever. Faith and Begora means there is one.

[John Holmberg]

So even the drunk cops in Ireland went out and investigated, found out it was a Newfoundland with a haircut.

[Irish Caller]

Nothing to be afraid of, just a great big dog.

[John Holmberg]

And also, nobody's talking about in the news story why the Newfoundland was free to roam. Oh, yeah, his owner was drunk at home, passed out and the door was open. It's Ireland. No one should ever take an Irishman seriously when they see a wild beast, because they're wrong. Their eyes are playing tricks on him.

[Irish Caller]

Looked outside, I'm pretty sure there's a woolly mammoth walking about here in Kilkenny. Kill Cork.

[Dale Hella Stray]

John O'Reilly.

[John Holmberg]

I got him outside.

[Irish Caller]

He's out there. He's walking about.

[John Holmberg]

Woolly mammoth, no doubt about it. And it's just a dog with a stick in its mouth to get big tusks.

[Irish Caller]

Giant. Only the tusks look like wood. They're not white.

[John Holmberg]

So he should have been brushing that.

[Irish Caller]

Turned out it was just a. That damn Newfoundland got out again, started carrying a stick around, thought it was a woolly mammoth. Been reading about that one.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever it means.

[Irish Caller]

Faith in begora.

[John Holmberg]

But it made the news, which made me just say weird. We've got plenty of news. I think we've got too much news that when in Ireland, one of them sees a lion, we report it. They see that stuff every day.

[Irish Caller]

There's unicorn on my neighbor's roof.

[John Holmberg]

I believe that's the chimney. Nope. It's got horn on top. Smokes. It blows smoke out. Yeah, you're just seeing things. Go back to bed, Seamus.

[Dale Hella Stray]

After so many calls, they have to report on it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. How many times the cops get calls. And that made me realize that the Irish dispatch has to be the hardest job on the planet.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, to keep a straight face. Well, I mean.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they're drunk too though. Well, that's true because it would be.

[Irish Caller]

Definitely like, kill, Kenny, kill, Court, kill. Can I say, driving for a police department. How are you? Yeah, I'd just like to report a. We got ourselves a gigantic pterodactyl is sitting on my neighbor's house right here. You don't say.

[John Holmberg]

She would never question it.

[Irish Caller]

Could you describe the pterodactyl? Yeah, it's like a pterodactyl. I mean, how do you describe it? I've seen pterodactyls in the. Remember when you were in school and stuff? Hey, that's what says great big wings. Does it have a. Is it neat looking? Oh, yeah, it's neat. It's pterodactyl. I mean, yeah, of course it's neat. Are you guys gonna come investigate the pterodactyl? We're gonna wait till morning. The last time we did that, light reflected back and it just turned out to be a puddle that you saw your face in. Some sort of weird thing. Hey, that's true, but all right. We'll wait till tomorrow. So far.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[Irish Caller]

You know what, let's meet at the pub and talk about it. Gotta ask you real quick before we send Out a squad. What are you doing tonight? About six pints in. It was over at the Cute Kidney Killed Court Kiddo.

[John Holmberg]

Port Pub.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[Irish Caller]

Why don't you sleep this one off and if the terry doctor still there in the morning will come by. Yeah, it's probably for the best.

[John Holmberg]

I'll have a pint and go to bed.

[Irish Caller]

Don't forget to brush your teeth with a pint. Of course I'll brush my teeth with a pint. I'm a human being, for Christ's sake. We have crest over here. Brett, that. Now I'm on the phone with Brett. How you doing?

[John Holmberg]

Hey, how you doing?

[Irish Caller]

Yeah, we crest over here. It's Guinness flavored. Hey, we're all alcoholics is what he's saying.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Yeah.

[Irish Caller]

The lady on the phone's talking about how we're all alcoholics. We see things and then we call the police about it. Yeah, that's what we do. We're Irish.

[John Holmberg]

We're drunks.

[Irish Caller]

It's like being in Boston all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I laughed hysterically. I'm like. The news picked this up.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It goes silent a lot of times for like a minute. How long was out?

[Irish Caller]

Kill kitty. Killed court. Kill Perry. Police Department. Can I help you? I forgot why I called you. Well, that's all right.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Just give it a minute.

[Irish Caller]

You'll figure it out. Have a pint.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'll probably have a pint.

[Irish Caller]

Look out the window.

[John Holmberg]

There it is.

[Irish Caller]

There's a lion loose in my neighborhood. Yeah, we've gotten calls about that. How big is it? I don't know. It's too big to be a dog, too small to be a horse. To lion. We'll send somebody over once he sobers up.

[John Holmberg]

Now we're gonna need that stupid. And it's on the news. It's on Channel 10, for Christ's sake. In Phoenix. Bunch of drunk. And they never mentioned that they were drunk. Of course they were drunk. They say Irish, so I guess they do kind of mention it. And you know, the night before. That's a pretty big dog you got there, you know, it'd be hilarious.

[Dale Hella Stray]

What's that?

[John Holmberg]

We shaved it up to look like a lion.

[Irish Caller]

Let it out.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. It would drive the neighbors mad. I bet you they'd think it was a real lion.

[Irish Caller]

I bet we make the news.

[Dale Hella Stray]

He's the one that called. He shaved it up.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Forgot he did it.

[Irish Caller]

Ate me.

[Brady Bogan]

Dog kill.

[Irish Caller]

Can he kill Court? Kill Perry? Can I help you? Yeah, there's a line out there. Remember the one I Told you about it. Just my dog's missing. Now, I'm not great with math, but I'd have to say, did you recently cut your dog to look like a lion?

[Dale Hella Stray]

I.

[John Holmberg]

You following?

[Irish Caller]

I don't get what you're saying, lass. I think you're looking at your dog. You're saying that I have a lion for a dog? No, no, not really.

[John Holmberg]

They made the news and it's nationwide in America. And I'm like, we've got too much information circulating in this world that drunken Irish phone calls to the cops are now news here.

[Brett Vesely]

I'd get it if it was around St. Patrick's Day. We still got a little time for that.

[John Holmberg]

Imagine if it was St. Patrick's Day. They'd all burn the town down. And their little grass roofed houses.

[Dale Hella Stray]

And don't worry, there's. There's a reason to drink there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're plague infested rat homes. That's all Ireland is. Green grass and drunks and plague. If you haven't guessed, I only like one country in the whole world. Australia. Yeah, the usa. But yeah, the cops came out nothing but a dog. Don't worry about it. Lots of adrenaline. We could all lay down.

[Irish Caller]

You know, the adrenaline sobered me up.

[John Holmberg]

I know. We need to go back to the pub and fix this. Hey, I got one question for you, and I don't want to be a guy who accuses you of animal abuse. How come this dog has. It's not got a fresh bowl of beer in front of it?

[Irish Caller]

I give him water.

[John Holmberg]

You are abusing that animal. Pour some Guinness in there and treat this dog like an Irish dog. That's the rule of the Irish Humane Society. It has to have shelter and it has to have a fresh bowl of beer in front of it at all times or else they're gonna take it away.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that what lost our home does for the Irish setter?

[John Holmberg]

The Irish setter's coming. I. I'm lost again. Hey, I don't know where my owners are and I don't have a chip. I sold it for a beer. Come on in. We'll put you in your shelter again. I just need a place to crash. It's not lost or home. I'm just currently lost from my home. Could you call my owners? I'll do the pick of the litter today. If it's an Irish setter, I'll be like, this one's not like here for real reasons. Trust me, man, I gotta find my way around. But to the Irish setters, we show up being really drunk all the time. We don't even bark. We just kind of make make noises. This guy says, I spent most of my life as an Irish drunk and had to give it up for physical health reasons. John. But I laugh at every Irish joke there is because they're all true. And I've never been offended when I was drunk or even now sober. The filthy Irish.

[Irish Caller]

You've seen us, right?

[John Holmberg]

It's not a stereotype. They don't have Alcoholics Anonymous over there. They just have alcoholics. That's it. They don't care about the keeping it quiet. It's a race, trust me. My old boxing trainer Ray was great at drinking. Terrible at being drunk, though, but great at getting there. He could put him away fast and then you'd find him in your house somewhere, get Ray over, and he thought he left. Worst night of my life. We had a few people over hanging around. Ray broke my ribs because he walked up to me, goes, Johnny, you're getting.

[Irish Caller]

Pretty good at that boxing there.

[John Holmberg]

I've been doing a good job training. I'm like, awesome. Always on the ready. Like, thanks, Ray. Want another beer? Of course I want another beer. And as I'm cracking the beer, he hauled off and hit me in the ribs so hard.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, why?

[Irish Caller]

I still always gotta have those elbows up, don't you? We're not fighting, so.

[John Holmberg]

My ribs were black. I couldn't breathe. I'm walking down the hall, turning lights off, and I look in the, like, Jesus Christ. And it's Ray on my computer ordering a hooker. Look at this one. She'll meet me at Circle Cage on, I need a ride. I'm like, no.

[Dale Hella Stray]

And a couple of quid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And he actually did need money. And then two days later, hey, I got a cancel. Like, why? Got a court appearance. For what?

[Irish Caller]

I got wrapped up in some nonsense marinette night of your party.

[John Holmberg]

Like, a little bit. Yeah. It was that night. Was it the prostitute at Circle K?

[Irish Caller]

She might have been involved.

[John Holmberg]

Like, oh, God, I need 1,500American dollars. No, Johnny would be doing me a huge one.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Good for it.

[John Holmberg]

He'd be doing me a huge one.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have to tell me that. Giving you 1500 bucks is doing you a huge one. I can't breathe. You broke my ribs.

[Irish Caller]

Did I do that?

[John Holmberg]

I should had your elbows down. We weren't fighting.

[Irish Caller]

Yeah, but if we were to broke your ribs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you did. Anyway, so it doesn't matter. You want money now? I got medical bills.

[Irish Caller]

By the way, you have like five.

[John Holmberg]

Lions in Your backyard. No, I'm hanging up. Seven o'. Clock. Code word this morning is boss. B O, S S boss. Like Brady boss. K U p D. I'm entering B O S S boss. And I have to say a quick hello to the gang over at Lifted Trucks. I was there yesterday because they've got a Bronco. I'm looking at those Broncos. I think they're kind of neat. So I took a gander at one yesterday and the sales guy came out and I gave him my license to test drive it. And then everybody came out and they're big fans of the show. And then one of them's like, oh, man. We were just talking about our favorite Guadalupe Squares characters. I'm like, you guys need better conversations. This is terrible. And then you roll. And then he goes, you're here. It's like, this is so cool. We've been listening for blah, blah, blah. And they go on. I'm like, this is very nice of all of you. GM Comes out. They're all listeners. It was amazing. And then the one guy says, is Brady with you? Like, we've been standing in the parking lot for eight minutes. Where do you think he would be?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Open the trunk.

[John Holmberg]

Is he in the car? We'll search it. I bet you Brady's in there. Did you just inflate him or what? How does it work? Like, yeah, no, Brady's not with me. It's. Why would he. It's seven o' clock on a Wednesday night. Why is Brady. Well, just. I didn't know. I didn't know if you guys were always together. No, we're not. It's weird, but they were awesome. They were really cool and they got a lot of cool stuff over there. So it was very nice of them to come out and say that and be nice to us. And I have to go back over there a little later today because they're special. Ordering one from another store to come over to see if I like that one. Those are neat cars. I actually really like those. This guy says a Cards fan. John, Real moment here. The Mercury have three titles. Let that sink in. The WNBA has more title wins than the Cardinals. Let this sink in. The WNBA has the most titles in the city of any, including college sports team.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I think I can hear the cheers coming.

[John Holmberg]

Title nine just vaginally exploded. It was a lesbian tsunami when I said that. They have more titles as a professional sports franchise than any Arizona anything at all. Including Mesa Community College, which won that weird thing over Rick's college every few years in the 70s. And they used to have a banner up at Mesa Community College says, like, five time world champions of Division 43 NCAA knockoff football. And then it said, defeated Rick's College. And if you've defeated Rick's College, it's in Idaho. It's the best moment I've ever had about Ricks College was not when I went to Mesa Community College to recognize there is a Ricks College, but Napoleon Dynamite had a shirt that said Rick's College on it. So I was like, oh, my God, it's real. For years I thought MCC just made up championships against, like, barber schools and Ricks College and stuff like that. But no, they actually did win some stuff.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Stuff.

[John Holmberg]

And they. Prior to that, they were the big ones. But for the most part, you're looking at the Mercury is the best run franchise. And they were in it again this year, by the way. Those Mercury fans are being treated to quite the payoff for their investment. Now they have to sit through girls basketball, which is just brutal. But I will say they're delivering to their fan base. And the Diamondbacks, to a certain degree, delivering to their fan base. Not winning a lot, but getting you there and competing CT's in you. 2023 was a shocker, but they got there. And the franchise tries. The Cardinals, I don't know what they're doing. Every time they try, they're bad. It gets worse the more they try.

[Brett Vesely]

This guy said that you should have. You should have teleported Brady like you did to Bull for us.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you guys want to talk to Brady? Hold on a second. Brady, I need you to come by here.

[Irish Caller]

But I'm at home having dinner.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I need you to come by anyway. Could you just.

[Irish Caller]

Yeah, fine.

[John Holmberg]

Hit the button.

[Irish Caller]

All right, I'll see you in a second.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, guys. What's up? Lifted trucks.

[Irish Caller]

It's Brady Bogan standing in the parking lot here from Brady's Morning Cup.

[John Holmberg]

Nice whips.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Whoa.

[John Holmberg]

They've got a teleporting mach and it's lifted anyway. Yeah, it's kind of. Kind of creepy, I guess.

[Dale Hella Stray]

The Rattlers had seven championships, but I know it's on the bubble.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't count. That's not even a sport. That's just a hobby. That's like pickleball, this guy says.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but the Mercury doesn't have any actual competition where every other sports franchise does.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna go ahead and say that it's hard to. I'm defending them. It's. It's hard to say that there isn't competition. When everything's so awful, but they're so equally balanced at being sucky that it is fair competition. Yeah, but I mean, it would be different if the Mercury were so incredible like Michael Jordan compared to the rest. They're not.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah. Everybody was like. It was like they're like the Globetrotter.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And they're just running circles around them. It's pretty. When you watch a WNBA game, you're like, they're all terrible at it together as teams now there's some individuals that are pretty good, but as teams, they're all pretty equally. So the competition, as poor as it is, is still even. So you can't say that they're walking into the finals every year just because they're that much better. That's not the case. The Rattlers have seven. But I mean, come on, I don't even know where they play the Arena Bowls. Like where. Where's their stadium?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Oh, are.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You don't know either. Who are they out at the old hockey. No. Rattlers. Yeah, I think field hockey.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

But we're not sure as Dale isn't.

[Brett Vesely]

He announced something. Yeah, right.

[John Holmberg]

Hilarious. It doesn't quite count, by the way. Rick's college is now byu, Idaho. I didn't know that they bought him. So Rick says no. So now they got to take that down over at mcc. Went out of business.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Stop donating.

[John Holmberg]

Kept losing MCC at stuff. And like we're not a real thing now.

[Brett Vesely]

Everybody's sticking up for the rat.

[Brady Bogan]

Was they got 10.

[John Holmberg]

They have 10. Seven a second ago. They've won three since we started this.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, come on.

[John Holmberg]

They're that good. They don't count. And if you're hanging on to that, that's proof it's even worse for you as a Cardinal fan. Well, the rattlers have 10. We're not all useless. Like, kinda. I'm not hanging my hat on Rattlers championships to represent the state when you've got all the major sports safe for hockey here in the town. If the Rattlers are your crown jewel, your crown sucks, that's all. And I'm not saying I don't understand your loyalty. I get it. I'm just telling you this franchise does not leave you in a good position regularly. So it may be time to sit back and say what's best for me. Am I cheering for laundry out of habit or do I really love this team? You're not going to be that loyal to anything else. Did the Mercury get all those titles with that giant tranny we had to rescue from Russia. Yeah, I know there's some pent up frustration there with Mercury Championships. I don't know if Brittney Griner got a championship with the Mercury. I don't pay attention to it that close. I know they got a few years ago. I don't know if Brittany ever walked with the trophy. I think she did once and they had that pathetic parade in the middle of summer that nobody went to. And I don't even think they closed the roads. I think they just took a city bus with the Mercury on it down the street, plopped a couple of the lesbians on top and then drove it around for 10 minutes.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Got a championship, then win international after that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. And then just I'd try to get one and. Yeah, I don't know. I think the thing I remember most about the, the Mercury championship was this. There's the bus coming down the road. There it is.

[Irish Caller]

Move that bus.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Jesus. The workers need to get back in. Just clogging up traffic. This one says so. The Steelers are like a bridesmaid. They haven't been a bride for a bit, but at least they get to go to the bridal party. The Cardinals are the fat bitch that's never been married. Dives for the bouquet, hoping for some luck with three picks at. This is exactly correct. The fat broad that keeps diving at that or that ricocheting garter. One of these years I'm gonna nab that.

[Irish Caller]

I'm next.

[Dale Hella Stray]

The. The bouquet.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They throw a bouquet and then what's the garter do for the men? Oh, is that for fellas? Yeah, yeah. I never ever stood up for that. I've never been so desperate to want to use wizardry and magic to try to marry Someone.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I've got 35 of them.

[John Holmberg]

Did you ever stand there and try to catch one of those?

[Dale Hella Stray]

I've been in the crowd before.

[John Holmberg]

Really? Did you try? No, I found that pathetic.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Usually in the back, you go up there.

[John Holmberg]

I've seen broads like bang into each other and stuff. Bang and rolling and trying to kill each other over that. Like it has some sort of scientific backing.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Right. You've probably seen some tumbling.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I've seen people like diving.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And stuff like that. I'm like, what are you doing?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like, like, you know, like Stephen Hawking said, if you catch the brocade, it is a 97 chance of marriage in the next year.

[Irish Caller]

I'm tired of paying my own bills. I'm getting that thing.

[Brett Vesely]

I've also seen it where I. I can't I don't have proof, but it kind of looked like it. After the bouquet. Some. A big. And caught one. And then when they did the garter afterwards, the guys just separated like Moses.

[John Holmberg]

How it works?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Well, because you do it.

[John Holmberg]

Because you gotta do the picture and he didn't. Nobody wanted to catch it. If it hits the ground, the fat one hit the ground, too. Wouldn't it be great if there was like.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Sometimes it's an inside deal.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Where the girl catches it intentionally. And then they have the guy come in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And they try to throw it directly.

[Dale Hella Stray]

To her date for him.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett Vesely]

I've seen him fire it. Those guys were like the temptations.

[John Holmberg]

Doing a side move and stuff. You don't want anything to do with it. Wouldn't it be great if there was, like, if you tried to convince him. If you catch the bouquet, that's great. You're next to get married. But if the garter hits the ground, you're going to disintegrate in your sleep.

[Irish Caller]

Is that real?

[John Holmberg]

As real as you. Catching that bouquet means your fat ass is getting married soon. If you catch the bouquet, you win a treadmill. I want a man. Well, the reason you don't have one is because you don't have a treadmill. We're doing you two favors.

[David Lee]

You're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

I could find a fella.

[David Lee]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe in one of your roles. Put that bouquet. You're eating a bouquet. What are you, a hippopotamus? Put that down.

[Brady Bogan]

It just smelled so delicious.

[Dale Hella Stray]

There's just stems.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What happened to it? You ate it. That'll happen. Yeah. I've been there before when the fights happen over that. And I'm like, do these women actually believe that's gonna. That's like the moon juice that we were talking about yesterday. It's like they had.

[Irish Caller]

I put my water outside. So the full moon energized it.

[John Holmberg]

Like, you're the dumbest person on the planet.

[Dale Hella Stray]

One girl doesn't know it's supposed to be an inside catch and she catches it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Fight breaks out, give it to Debbie.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. But again, why? How stupid are your brains to believe that that's something worth fighting over? You actually, they fight to catch it because they think it has, like, meaning. It has nothing. There's nothing to it. It's silly.

[Irish Caller]

You kind of guess who's next?

[John Holmberg]

Not you, Chunks. Trust me. They put a ring over your finger, your finger would fall off in three days. It would be like castration.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I drink moon water. I'm gonna get it for sure.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That is so sad. Just pay your own bills. Quit being that desperate publicly. Do you have a wedding coming up? I might want to kind of go watch that. I do videotape the thing. I haven't seen it in years.

[Brett Vesely]

You know? I mean, some of them are still doing it, but a lot of the. The newer brides and stuff. I'm not doing that.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not throwing it. Stupid fat girl will hurt someone because I have to have a fat.

[Brett Vesely]

Didn't pay insurance for that.

[John Holmberg]

So one of my bridesmaids has to be fat so I look at least better than one. And so. And she's gonna hog out and kill the other cute ones.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Some of them don't even make it out there. They're so hammered.

[John Holmberg]

They should probably change it. They should probably. Like. I. I want to tell all women that it's. There is math behind this. And if you get crushed by the fat girl trying to catch the bouquet, you're next to get married. It's like Cinderella's shoe. You're the cute little one that couldn't fend off the pig. And then guys will feel sorry for her. Maybe Prince Charming will come help you. I saw the behemoth of a woman trample you to get to the flowers. Are you okay?

[Irish Caller]

I'm not. I didn't realize that was gonna happen.

[John Holmberg]

I'd like to dance with you.

[Irish Caller]

I. My spine is broken in half because of Brunhilda. Killed me again.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Married.

[David Lee]

That fat bitch is crazy.

[John Holmberg]

So sorry this happened to you.

[Irish Caller]

Are you who I think you are?

[John Holmberg]

You mean the one.

[Irish Caller]

Oh, hey.

[Brady Bogan]

That's my fellow.

[Irish Caller]

Why is he talking to you? You're crippled.

[John Holmberg]

And rather being a cripple than you. You're disgusting. Science and technology could probably fix her spine. You're always going to be huge. You have no effort or energy to not be. I'm eating Ozempic. See, there's the problem. You're not supposed to eat it. Yeah, I want to watch that. That's the only part of weddings that I enjoy is the. When people make complete asses of themselves over the folklore and tradition that has no backing at all. There's no scientific need to try to kill each other over that. And dudes who catch garter belts are equally funny.

[David Lee]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Did they still do the thing where the groom performs oral sex and then peels off the belt from her thigh in front of her parents?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. I always found that to be a.

[John Holmberg]

Bit awkward as well.

[Brett Vesely]

Especially because, you know, her dad's going this.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus Christ. He's right.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, you're paying for it now, right.

[John Holmberg]

In my daughter's honeyhole. Christ on a crutch. What do I do next? Guess what he's gonna be doing in an hour. Finishing the job. Well, I never liked you, but what.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Song you playing during that?

[Brett Vesely]

Depends. Everybody picks something different.

[Dale Hella Stray]

The burlesque one?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not Eat It. No, you should play Eat It. Just cue it right up to. All right, Brian's gonna go down and get that garter belt, so get those legs open, ladies, and I'm gonna play a special song for this moment right here. Ryan, get on those knees and get ready. Ladies and gentlemen, here's the beautiful bride. Get that garter belt off. We gather the guys back here and. Okay, here we go. He's ready. That isn't Eat It. Is that Eat It? No, even better.

[Brett Vesely]

The computer was screwing up there.

[John Holmberg]

Either way, it's a Weird Al singing Eat it and let the dude lose it right there. Never be like, what the hell? Oh, it's the weird owl one. It's encouraging cunnilingus. This is how you have to introduce this. All right, everybody gather around. The bride's about to get down on his knee, bury his face. And that guy over there is Daughter's honeyhole. Knock it off. Sorry. Bruce, you're a great dad. Turn this off immediately. Well, let's just face reality, Bruce. He's going down on her. How come you're always such a fussy young man? All right, all right. The DJ's fired. Father of the bride's not happy, but he's facing reality right now. Just eat it. Can I really eat it?

[Brady Bogan]

Like, right in front of everybody?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Irish Caller]

God damn it.

[John Holmberg]

I told you when we got divorced, you were going to create this problem.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Your plate. So eat it. You can use that twice during the wedding.

[John Holmberg]

Please, dinner, sir. Do this at the next one. I'll pay you whatever they cancel. I don't know how much you make. I don't know how much you make for a wedding, but if you pay this and they kick you out immediately, I will cover your. I will cover your losses. But I have to have video proof that you played Eat It. And you got to call the dad over. It's always my favorite time of the night to bring the dad over by his beautiful young angel right before the new husband goes down on her in front of everybody, there's a special theme song I always play. Just Eat It. That's great, Said John. What you're saying is true. My wife's Hog Bridesmaid. Caught the one at our wedding. Yeah. They always go for it. They're the ones who are most desperate. They're taking folklore and chance and superstition, and they're packing it all up in one hopeful thing. Pigs are funny at weddings because they get sad and happy at the exact same time.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It's like an Oklahoma drill.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[David Lee]

Oh, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just get out of her way.

[Dale Hella Stray]

You're gonna get leveled.

[John Holmberg]

Find the pig and let her stand up front. Don't try to shoot it over. The bride's always trying to shoot it over them.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. They don't want.

[John Holmberg]

Try to shoot it to the girl. You don't know.

[Dale Hella Stray]

They do the reverse throw. It's the. No, look.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, just. I know.

[David Lee]

I'm gonna.

[John Holmberg]

Pig's gonna kill someone. The other Kyle Pierce just suggested that right as eat it is ending play. Wap. Just let the dad know he's lost complete control over this bro. Yeah. There's Eden. It's a good solo. Yeah. Anyway, I'm gonna talk to that DJ over there about this. You realize that was my daughter, sir. Yeah. You realize what he's gonna do to your daughter in about an hour? God damn it. Remember your wedding night. Okay. All right, that's enough. Sir, I hate to break it to you, but asses in play tonight. God damn this junkie. Just play the goddamn Prince song I.

[David Lee]

Told you to play and leave.

[John Holmberg]

You mean sugar walls? No, you've got to go.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I got yelled out by a grandmother at a wedding. You're playing the devil's music. Dead serious. I'm like, well, that's what the bride and groom. It's her list. Take it up with your grandson.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I just tell her, you know what, lady?

[Brady Bogan]

You.

[John Holmberg]

It isn't your day. Go sit down.

[Irish Caller]

No one's gonna pay you.

[John Holmberg]

Fine. No one's gonna lay you. Go lay down.

[Irish Caller]

Oh, you're disgusting.

[John Holmberg]

Next thing you know.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh.

[Irish Caller]

Oh, the dj. Oh, it was a will they, won't they? And then I did it.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Seals and Croft is a double band.

[John Holmberg]

It could be. Does the DJ ever get any action at a wedding?

[Dale Hella Stray]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I know you don't know, but you know, DJ stuff. You've not done it.

[Brett Vesely]

Not necessarily at a wedding. Nah, not really.

[John Holmberg]

That's not worth it because you got.

[Brett Vesely]

You know, afterwards, you got to, you know, get all your gear and everything else.

[John Holmberg]

So you can't just leave it till later.

[Dale Hella Stray]

No, but you can have the bridesmaid help you pack up.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Yeah. You could put it on her back and hold her DJs. Yeah, you could tie it to her back and haul her down to the.

[Brett Vesely]

Bottom of the can like a burrow.

[John Holmberg]

Go. Yeah, you just be. I need. I. Hey, before the wedding's over, I'd love some help from somebody who's got some sturdy bass. I'm looking at you, lady, with that bouquet half eaten.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I like the way you caught the bouquet.

[Brett Vesely]

Bouquet in one hand and a half a cake in the other hand.

[John Holmberg]

Like how. Where am I supposed to carry? Well, I got some rope if I can just tie it to you like a pack mule. That wouldn't be the first time. I imagine that's true. I really like you surprised me with your, you know, lateral movement when you went after that bouquet. Yeah, I used to play volleyball. Yeah, I bet. Till what, you killed some people? How'd you know?

[Brett Vesely]

You play this one too?

[John Holmberg]

The word is out.

[Irish Caller]

Better treat me right.

[John Holmberg]

Cause I'm the king of cellulite. You can't play fat at someone's wedding.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Now, I need you to take this crate out to the white van.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You want to just tie it to my back? Yeah, that's what we're gonna do. You're just.

[Dale Hella Stray]

You know what?

[John Holmberg]

Hold still. You're stubborn as the thing I'm making you look like. Then the other story. Did you guys see that? This is transitioned from hell. But the Arizona guy, that he's killed himself because he was facing sentencing for killing his two year old daughter in the car. He left her. Oh, it's terrible. But then I started reading about the story. His kids, he left him in the car all the time. Like his excuse. And this is there is a reason why he's in bigger trouble than normal. There are texts from his other kids saying, you got to stop leaving us in the car. Oh, man. And he's like, well, I leave you out there because you're usually like asleep and stuff. And I leave the air on. He thought he wake you up. He thought he left the air. And what he is is lazy. So what he did after he left the two year old in the car is just inexcusable. He said he left the air on. It was July. He goes inside and he plays some video games and then watches some porn. So, you know, he went in and he was tugging it. He wanted to be left alone. If the kid woke up, he'd have work to do. So if he leaves it in the car with the air on, it'll be okay. He can get what he needs to get Done, Done. But he did it for a while. And his wife. There's texts from. It's terrible story. His wife was like, will you please stop leaving the kids in the car? And he's like, I, they're fine. The air's on. Like, I just, I'm going in for a little time. And he would leave him out there on purpose. Well, the air shuts off. This one goes. And then his text is, oh, my God, I killed her daughter. I can't believe this. And his wife text. Yeah. And his wife's like, I told you to stop leaving them in the car. Unbelievable. The wife was like standing by him saying, look, he made a terrible, terrible mistake. But you know, he's a pillar of the community. He's a good guy. This was just really something he did that was so stupid. And the judge to his credit is like, I don't care. Like, how many texts did this guy need to hear to say, stop leaving kids in the car?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know, in July, two year olds. I don't get it, but it's a terrible story. So then yesterday, they find him dead. He killed himself in his car. They think it was carbon monoxide poisoning. And he did it. He killed himself in there. Just miserable. But I mean, when you read about it, you're like, oh, my God. The wife stood by him. Like, how many times would you leave someone in the car, even with the air running? That's two. And then the older daughter suing him was suing him too, for like, you've destroyed my life and then you killed my little sister. So. So yeah, his daughter's 18 and she sued him for emotional distress because she's like, you killed my sister. I went through trauma because he used to leave me in the car all the time with the air on and his second degree murder. But I started to wonder if your wife is standing by you. Like the state can, like, can't they just sit back like she wanted him back, like he's still gonna raise the kids and like, I want him in my life and stuff. If the wife's forgiving, you can't the state. Yeah, wouldn't that be a thing? Where they're like, geez, I guess this like, nobody, like, no family is trying to get him thrown in jail. Like, these are those moments where I think you can actually say, yeah, the murder part, they're getting him on is horrible, but if everybody involved is like, we're okay with it. Do we want to clog up?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Horrible accident.

[John Holmberg]

But it wasn't an accident. That's the worst part. It was an. On purpose. It was. Yeah, it was a terrible decision.

[David Lee]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That led. That was inevitable. You can't do that. It's insane. And this one says John Chris was the guy who did it. His name is Christopher Schultes. I think I'm saying that right. So John Chris was my nephew. He was not what the media has portrayed. I can't imagine they would portray him in any other way.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I mean, it just sounds so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but the porn. The porn's the worst part.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because he left the kid involved. Well, yeah. He went inside to go watch porn and play video games.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, okay. I heard it was just like, you know, playing PlayStation.

[John Holmberg]

He did something like that. And then. Okay, then maybe he didn't tug it, but he watched some porn. And it is. And his wife was an anesthesiologist. Like, they weren't like some weird, downtrodden, struggling thing. He just had this.

[Dale Hella Stray]

He was the falmy, basically.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. You know what? I don't know what he did, but, I mean, still, this story's tragic, but you involve porn in it, and everybody turned on the dude, like, oh, he's an awful person. But then you look back, and he's been doing this to the other kids. Evidently, according to the other kids, you got to stop leaving us in the car and stuff like that. And it's very weird, and reading is just so tragic and so strange. But the wife even said, look, he. He's a good dude. We need him. We need him back. And everybody's like, no, he's getting a jail cell. And I don't know how to feel about that.

[Dale Hella Stray]

You know, that's amazing that she feel that way, because I think she would. Even though she would want to feel that way, you're still going to hold that other person.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It's hard to say you're to blame.

[John Holmberg]

He is to blame.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Right. And how can I, you know?

[John Holmberg]

And she's like, look over that. We lost our daughter. We need to be in this together kind of thing. And jail's not going to help, but, man, that's a tough one. And I don't know Ty, who's emailing me saying it's his cousin. They said he was mentally in prison, as we all are now as a family. I can't even imagine, Ty, what you guys are going through that now, the daughters, and now that Christopher has done himself in. I mean, this is not.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I mean, there's people who say he's. He's in hell. Even if he doesn't go to jail.

[Irish Caller]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean he's going to have a tough go, but he's, I mean jail wasn't. He obviously wasn't facing that. So he took himself out and made more tragedy for a family. It was like, please just we're. We're going to move on. And the state kind of was like, no. And they kind of have to be. But still this.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I want to tell you weird story, John. You were planning, you know, which is not true. But. But you're like, you're gonna have a couple of kids job, but if you leave them in the car.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hella Stray]

You're gonna go to jail. You should understand that.

[Irish Caller]

Oh yeah.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It's gonna happen. And so.

[John Holmberg]

And he still did it.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And he'd been doing it for. With the other. According to the, you know, the court stuff. But it is a very.

[Dale Hella Stray]

And I understand the ones that are, I mean, that are horrible that they. Either way, some people can't forgive regardless. Like, we had a guy in our neighborhood that happened to the kid.

[John Holmberg]

He forgot. I had a friend named Troy who. His wife was out of town and he got take the kids to school duty and he dropped the daughter off, turned the radio back on, started to drive the kid, the other one, the younger one to preschool and then kind of got lost in a song and started to head to work out of habit. And he came in just white as a ghost. I'm like, what happened to you? And he goes. Pulled into the parking lot and as I opened the door, the last thing I heard right before I shot it was daddy. And I looked in the back and he's like, oh my God. I didn't take him to daycare. I was going to leave him out here. He was so quiet. Benjamin was his name. Said it was so quiet. I didn't even realize that I'd forgotten because I kind of got distracted. I knew I had to get to work. I was running a little late, turn the radio on. Dancing and singing, doing his thing. And he gets in and he's like. The last thing he heard is shutting the door. Daddy, had he not heard it, turns around, walks right in, would have been the end of it. And his. He was ghost white. But yeah. And then you got all the people who are speculating saying basically. And this guy emails and says, I bet the wife knew what was going to happen and they planned this together. I don't know. I don't know if you're going to plan killing a kid like that. That's. That's not. I don't think that's factual. I think that's what. That's when you start getting into.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Well, if that was the case, it doesn't match up with the other kids before.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Dale Hella Stray]

That they're doing the same thing that if you go in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This one says the mom's just as stupid for letting it happen. From wanting her back. Means it's okay and they're both dumb. I don't know if that's. I don't want to put that on anybody because I've. You know, that's the scariest thing in the world to forget something in your car. And it's a lie for.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I forgot, you know, Kirby. But I did a couple times pull up in front of the store.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hella Stray]

And I could. I would watch the car. Kept the AC on.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Dale Hella Stray]

You left them in there like five minutes.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, two year olds. One thing I don't understand, when five year olds and six year olds get stuck inside cars, that one gets me because I was left in a car a lot.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just open the door.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Sometimes you tell your mom, go, I don't want it. I don't want to go in the store.

[John Holmberg]

I'd crawl around, pretend I was driving. I get in the front seat, screw around. My always tell me, just don't put it. Don't adjust the seat.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That was my mom's biggest complain.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Mess with the steering wheel.

[John Holmberg]

Don't. Well, I could play with the steering wheel. She didn't. Yeah. She'd have to leave it on with the air conditioner. Yeah. Don't touch this. The. The prindle. Don't touch it. And don't mess with the goddamn seats. And then she'd go in and get butter or whatever. I was a little kid, she'd send me in the store and she'd wait in the car sometimes. Go get some butter. And if you come back with Olio, I swear to God you're going to live at the store for the rest of your life. I can't read.

[David Lee]

Just.

[John Holmberg]

It's Olio. It's an O. Okay. Inevitable. And I do they still make Olio. What is that? Olio. My mom would get so mad.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I haven't seen it in a while.

[John Holmberg]

She'd have to storm back in and go, my dumb kid bought Olio instead of butter and I was too lazy to get out of the car and sent him in. Well, we were in there. But I like kids 6, 7 years old. They should never be stuck in a car. They should figure it out like windows and being able to open. They got those child safety things.

[Dale Hella Stray]

You could pull up the lock.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. I used to be able to open the door. I knew how to get in and out of stuff. But now you can't even leave a kid in there. They'll all go. It's terrifying. But that poor bastard. I feel terrible for that family.

[David Lee]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

It's. It's just awful to see. But, yeah. And now. I don't know. And now he killed himself because the state put the heat on him to be, like, responsible for this in prison when they could have just let him back to the family and let him live in his own. Like you said, let him live in his own hell. Just being out and about and try to adjust through life that away. Prison wasn't going to help this guy, I don't think, Unless they found out he did this absolutely on purpose, which he did intentionally do, but not. He wasn't trying to harm the kid. But that is pretty stupid stuff. You are pretty stupid to do that. But, man, now the whole family. We've got a guy emailing his friends with him. The whole family's in the tragedy now. And this guy said. And by the way, the guy whose family member said, thank you for helping me yesterday. All of you distracted my mind. Well, sorry to bring it up today, Ty. I know it's. But it's a big story. It's a big thing in the news, and it's wild. And I don't know how. I literally watched that. And I'm like, he shouldn't have gone to jail. If the wife's okay with it, if the mother of that child is like, look, I want him back. I need him in my life. He's a good man. This was just a terribly stupid thing. Who are we to say? I'll throw him in the joint? I know it's bad, but he's already living with that. We're always talking about prisons having too many people. There's absolutely. He's not gonna. He wasn't gonna make it. And he didn't even make it to jail. Imagine, had they put him in there, he would have been done the first week. And people judge so quickly on those things, but it's pretty dumb. And the porn thing is what put it over the top. Because it does look like, I'll just leave the kid in the car going, nobody will bother me. And I'll get one off.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Video games, tough.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Add that spice to it.

[John Holmberg]

Add a little that to that. It's like, oh, this guy was just neglecting. This one says f that guy. It shouldn't matter if you left your kid in the car. Go feed the homeless. You leave your kid in the car for any reason, especially in an Arizona summer, your kid dies, you're going to jail. And I see that side, too. I totally agree with that, Josh. But if the mother of that child is your wife and she's like, I need him back. I need to get. He's the one I need to have with me to get through this, this. Because now you think about it, that mother, the wife lost her baby and her husband. That's a tough one. That's going to be.

[Dale Hella Stray]

And you know, on the other side, it could. This could have happened even if he didn't go to jail.

[Brady Bogan]

Well.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. But for sure now that.

[Irish Caller]

Well, she lost.

[John Holmberg]

She was going to lose him going to jail and she lost him now for good. Like, he's. Oh, it's crazy. Story is nuts.

[David Lee]

It's just brutal.

[John Holmberg]

It is. Yeah. I know that's not a fun one to go out on. Get that lion in Ireland back. But that story is just jaw dropping. That's got so many angles. It'll be a great Dateline episode. And unfortunately for the families, they got to relive that over and over with Keith Morrison coming up in the future. It's 7:30. A boss is the word for 7am this morning. B O S S. Brett, what do you got on the big board of.

[Brett Vesely]

Musical Tree Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. Don't forget this Saturday, the big blowout rental demo bike sales going on. Bikes starting at 1500 bucks and I'm talking full suspension. They're gonna have E bikes there you can demo. You can, you know, ride them before you buy them. They're also gonna have, you know, be serving you lunch and also a poker ride at Hawes. So go to actionrideshop.com for all the details. Follow them on the socials. And we'll be out there on Saturday from 11 to 1. That is the power road and McDowell location. It is Action Ride Shop.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna do the ride that morning or you just go out?

[Brett Vesely]

No, I'm just going hang out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Where are they riding? Just host.

[Brett Vesely]

Just Australia.

[David Lee]

It'll be fun.

[John Holmberg]

Damn it. Thinking about. But I am. Well, I got a plumber coming to the house at 7am on Saturday, so it's gonna screw that up. Yeah. But I'll be out there at 11 with you. I want to see those new pivots.

[Brett Vesely]

All Right on the list. We got Stone Sour's Love gun for Matt Khalil, Ozzy, Mud Vein, Beastie Boy, sure Shot for Mack Live, AC dc, Big gun for Macalil Deftones, Coffin Cats, Drop Kipped Murphy's for the Irish and Twisted Sisters, Burning Hell for the Bidwells.

[John Holmberg]

Cardinals fans waking up. They're angry and they should be.

[Brett Vesely]

They should be.

[John Holmberg]

You should start marching against the Cardinals. Like have a march.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Get D. Snider out here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We should have a fan election every year to either continue the reign of or end the reign of ownership every five years or so where the fans get the vote.

[Dale Hella Stray]

A decent term.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Season ticket holders get to vote on whether or not the owners can stay in charge.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Coaches, basically it three years maybe for.

[John Holmberg]

The Cardinals if they're lucky. Yeah, they should. We should have some sort of way to neuter them as owners and say you're forced to sell the team. If in fact, in seven years you have not hit every one of the like, playoffs, second round of the playoffs at least once. Three winning seasons in seven years. Otherwise you lose the franchise and some other billionaires got to swoop in and you can go buy another one. But you can't have this one anymore.

[Brett Vesely]

Can you imagine Jerry Jones? No, that's not gonna happen.

[John Holmberg]

Jerry wins every year. So it wouldn't be like Jerry has some bad years. But I mean, if you go seven years without a winning season, you should have to sell you.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, winning season. I thought you meant playoffs.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if you go to the playoffs, like if you get in the second round, it starts a new seven years. Yeah, that's a good idea.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Well, the Cardinals have not gone that.

[John Holmberg]

They're in the playoffs five years ago.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So the bid wells.

[Dale Hella Stray]

But you're talking about winning season, Right?

[John Holmberg]

A couple years. If you have two overall number one picks, you have to sell your franchise. And you didn't trade for them, you earned them.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Also heard the argument about what about dynamic ticket pricing. If your team's like the jets and you've lost seven in a row, how.

[John Holmberg]

Are the jets owners not forced to?

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Ticket prices are going down with every loss.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you are three years in a row in the top five of the lottery because you earned it, the fans can kick you out.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

And they increased their season ticket prices last year. I mean, for this year.

[John Holmberg]

Unimaginable. But I think that's a good plan. At least put some heat on these dudes that are pulling billions. And again, they can buy because there's going to be A couple teams a year that lose owners. So if this dude wants to come in and put an influx of money in and he just lost the Titans franchise but now he's got to own the Cardinals. Maybe he steps away and goes I can't own football unless it's my titan. I'll get back in when the next donors get kicked out. You can buy back later but you got to take a break for seven years. And if this new guy starts winning, he gets to keep them.

[Dale Hella Stray]

That's what's crazy though. The people that have owned them like to bid wells and yeah if you look at like but as fuel as a company it's made some decent money.

[Irish Caller]

You're kidding me.

[John Holmberg]

Ridiculous. Return on investment for the bid wells. And what is their responsibility to keep knocking you guys down? We should be the board as fans and vote out the powers that be. At least suspend them for seven years and a new owner has to come in. You're not allowed to own a team for five years. Damn it. And then they'll work really hard. I don't want to lose this franchise that things bringing in two and $3 billion a year if I lose it and I just get cut off dead dry. And that its parameters are very clearly set. If a player doesn't perform, he's cutting. The owners are Coach, coach. Everybody gets fired except the owners.

[Dale Hella Stray]

And they're let off the hook if all of a sudden they aren't winning or the team down the brace. Okay, we'll go to another market.

[John Holmberg]

You go five years without a winning season. We're voting on it. Seven years. You're automatically forced to sell by the league. But that's pretty good. That's really good. Because if those five years you can't do anything to at least get a nine and eight year out of it.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

How many years of Bears going on winning seasons?

[John Holmberg]

I had a winning season with Trubisky the first year they had yeah, 10 wins. That was what, six years ago. They haven't had one since.

[Brett Vesely]

I have to look.

[John Holmberg]

And futility would be rewarded less if the owners were going to lose their franchise. Because you would have loved to have seen that Hallis lady. You were begging for her die. Yeah, burn in hell. That's what he the owner of the Bears. He wanted to burn in hell. Imagine if it's like okay, we got one more year and then we at least get new blood in the top. They might be worse but at least we can start fresh with new eyes.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Titans have 2018.

[John Holmberg]

2018 was your last winning Season. Yep. This would be the year that you bounce them.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

And luckily they're trending in the right way.

[John Holmberg]

And this would be the year. This would kind of suck for you. It'd be like, yeah, she died.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, she's dead.

[John Holmberg]

And look what happened. Teams five and three. I. I should be the commissioner or something.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Titan's got to be pushing that, dude.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, no, because in 20 made the AFC championship.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Is it 20?

[Unknown Band Organizer]

20.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, 20. 20 or 20. Maybe it's 19. 19 or 20.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

And the Browns made the playoffs what, four years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Browns have been in it. Your team, Cardinals have been in it. Yeah. Most everybody has. The Saints start an eyeball that owner, the Dolphins. Jesus Christ, they're terrible.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Annually the Raiders, McDaniel's first season, they had a winning year.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. But three years ago, the Raiders have been a nightmare.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

They were in the playoffs with Carr four or five years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Were they? Barely. Okay, so that's tight. So. Yeah. So it would be tough to have the guy lose it. So. And then you'd start to realize, okay, in a 14 year span, you've made the playoffs twice.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

I think you should shrink your window to five years.

[John Holmberg]

Three or three. Three.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Winning season, not saying playoffs. Winning season. Give me a 9 and 8. You gotta go 9 and 8.

[Brett Vesely]

The Raiders were in 2021.

[John Holmberg]

2021. They popped in season.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Yeah. There's a couple teams that have squeezed in there that. But the Jets. Jets haven't been in it since 2015. And Woody Johnson longer because who was.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

The quarterback when they went 2010.

[John Holmberg]

That was the year they went to the AFC championship game. The Steelers beat him 11 and 5.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

That wasn't with Pennington.

[John Holmberg]

No, it was Mark Sanchez.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Oh, that's butt fumble.

[John Holmberg]

Stabby stabby Marshall.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah, yeah, it went from butt fumble.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so they're 15 years without a playoff appearance. How many? That was their last winning season, woody.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh my.

[Brett Vesely]

2010.

[John Holmberg]

Why are jets fans alive? Just quit anyway.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Well, they got the fire Sale happening right now.

[John Holmberg]

There's not the worst part. Not a lot to say. 15th on the 15th anniversary as a Jets.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Hang your hat.

[John Holmberg]

As a Jets fan, you may be.

[Dale Hella Stray]

They're basically doing it.

[John Holmberg]

Crazy Eddie Sale. You're getting rid of your four years ago problem, which was we've got like nine first round draft picks. Two years you got to pay those guys coming in four years all at once. You're not going to be able to do it. What do they do? Lesson learned. Let's trade all these guys for first round draft Picks. They've got five in the next two years, they're going to do it again.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

It's a crazy guy with a shotgun and used cars.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. So even if they hit on every draft pick, which is a nightmare for a team with five draft picks, and they traded them. But that's my point. If you miss on one quarterback, all these guys are going to be like, well, we've had great years. And then their fifth year, they're going to want money. And you're like, like, sorry, guys.

[Dale Hella Stray]

My point is that this would be the year to transition out. Sell.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. You got to bounce them now. You got all these draft picks.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

It was eight years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Terrible. Yeah. They'd be bouncing their second group out like, you too. Everybody's got to go. I like my plan. I like it a lot. It's 7:39. Let's get to it. We'll do the.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's do Burning Hill.

[John Holmberg]

Burning Hell.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

It's going along with the conversation we're talking about right now.

[John Holmberg]

Twisted Sister.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

From Peewee's big adventure. Burning Hell. I've got no issues with that. Do you have it?

[Brett Vesely]

If not, I'll get it.

[John Holmberg]

D. Snyder and the boys dancing around the Warner Brothers lot while Peewee rode his bike past him.

[David Lee]

It was great.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody load it. There it is. Burning Hell. That's what we'll do. It's a Twisted Sister. For the ownership groups, it's 98 KUPD.

[David Lee]

Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

He said fully erect. 98k.

[David Lee]

Still streaming. Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] means I got.

[John Holmberg]

Two things to do. We got to get to the Brady Report and of course tell you the 8 o' clock code word to take.

[David Lee]

It in the app.

[John Holmberg]

It's a club. The eight o' clock word is club. Can't do it for another minute, I would guess, but club is the word you're looking to pop in there. Club. And you'll be all done with that simple stuff like that. Mike says, john, I work. I woke up in an altruistic mood this morning. Law by feelings. And we can't fight the rich people. Are you feeling okay? Yeah, I know I did have a law by feelings moment with that kid in the car thing. You've been hanging out with Big Dick a lot after work, haven't you? The red always wins. Step back. Yeah, I'm not going commie.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm just.

[John Holmberg]

Law by feelings is not. That was just kind of that moment where I felt just Terrible for everyone. I did have an empathetic moment. And I know that's off brand, but.

[David Lee]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes I do have human emotions and it even confuses me. That's why I had to bring it up to you guys. It's tough. I apologize. I'll turn back into an asshole now. I apologize. Feel really bad about it. I feel really guilty. It is altruistic. You're right. What was I thinking? Thank you for straightening me out. I appreciate that. It's time now. While you're typing the word club in, by the way, I got a. An email about our big voice guy.

[David Lee]

Take it in the app. Money I carry for David Lee.

[John Holmberg]

People still think that's me. It's not me. And he's like, I went on to find that guy. And he goes, this dude is like, all about politics. I never once gotten to know David Lee. And evidently his Instagram and his Facebook are all like.

[David Lee]

And that's exactly why Trump is our God.

[John Holmberg]

Like, he's. He loves Trump a lot. Evidently I didn't back this up by looking. Cause I don't care. This dude's like, he is as right wing as they get. Please, David Lee, don't.

[Irish Caller]

You know that guy who says, take it in the app. And the deep voice man, he wants this and that. He's for government shutdown.

[John Holmberg]

Like, oh, no. He's just the guy that says, take it in the app when we send him a check. Don't make him more than that.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Great.

[Brett Vesely]

Toledo's gonna resign now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. Now Toledo and his wife can't even listen to the station anymore because communism.

[David Lee]

Toledo's wife is a communist.

[John Holmberg]

I'll have him read that, I betcha.

[David Lee]

And it's second. You don't even have to pay me for that one, Johnny. One thing you'll never get from Homeberg's morning sickness. Commie, Bullpedey, Tempe, Phoenix, Moscow.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, so don't do that. Don't make him a political figure. He's barely even human to me. He's been a cartoon voice in my life for the last 25 plus years. There's nothing cooler than. Nothing cooler than meeting that dude. I'm John. I do the morning show. Love everything you do, David Lee. Oh, that's awesome. You always sound like that.

[David Lee]

I sound like this all the time. Especially when I'm campaigning against commie Mum Dunny.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, don't do that. Be meaningless. Be shallow for me. Say Westwood One in Wrangler jeans.

[David Lee]

Westwood One. Wrangler jeans.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yes.

[David Lee]

Wrangler Jeans is owned by commies.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, David, don't do it. But I don't even want to look. I put my blinders on. I had half my mind to go. Gotta check that out. Gotta see what he's spewing and then leave it alone.

[David Lee]

Joe Biden's kids are.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, stop.

[David Lee]

At least AOC is not listening. No, no, don't.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe she is. We'll take them all.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Jimmy Kimmel.

[David Lee]

Jimmy Kimmel said die in a fire. 98 Tippy Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

No, stop it. Tato 2. Let's get ourselves a Wake up song. Or no. We already did that, didn't we? Let's get ourselves a.

[Brady Bogan]

What do you do? What would Brady do?

[John Holmberg]

No, no. A Brady Report. That's what happens right about now. Brady Report is brought to you by our friends at AllPro Shade. AllProchade.com I just found out from another commercial from All Pro Shade. Ron Wolfley told me this.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That if you get a. A winter awning, they'll give you a heater.

[Brett Vesely]

Heater.

[John Holmberg]

You get a heater thrown in. My spot says, oh, does it?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Ron Wolfley Spot does too. And I heard him talk about it like, hey, that's pretty neat.

[Brady Bogan]

David. If you want a heater, All Pro.

[John Holmberg]

Shade will fire a heater over here. We're friends with those guys. I'm glad we're in cahoots with them. They know All Pro Shade like we do. Great group of people over there, great group people over here. And great group of people at All Pro Shade. And that's awesome. If you do some work right now and you put a. A little shady acre back there in your yard, they'll throw a heater in for the winter months. So your outdoor room that is now shaded from the sun beating you in the eyes also can stay warm, which is fantastic. What a great deal. AllProchade.com Best in the business. Check them out today and put some shade on your life. Brady Report it.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, world.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Happy National Men Make Dinner Day.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not our jobs.

[Dale Hella Stray]

National Nacho Day should have been national joke today.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it is. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your husband making dinner. Your husband making dinner? Who? You're divorced.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It's also Pat Tillman's birthday.

[John Holmberg]

Happy birthday, Pat Tillman. Right around there. Right around Veterans Day.

[Dale Hella Stray]

A couple of basic fun facts. The term cyberspace was coined in 1982 by a writer, William Gibson. He featured in his 1984 sci fi novel Neuro. Neuromancer he said cyberspace sounded like it meant something, or it might mean something, but as I started it in the red Sharpie on a yellow legal pad, the whole thing came to light. But he goes, it absolutely means nothing.

[John Holmberg]

No meaning. He created the created, made up word. What's the word again?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Cyberspace.

[John Holmberg]

Cyberspace has no meaning. Yeah, cyber, something, space, something together.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Nothing interesting, but it sounded good in the novel.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds awesome.

[Dale Hella Stray]

For the state of Texas to have the population density of New York City, every single person in the world would have to live there.

[John Holmberg]

It's that big. So Alaska would be like four, like four times the Earth's population, because Alaska's.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Have the density of New York City.

[John Holmberg]

Three times bigger than Texas. It's humongous. How about that? By the way, the dude that scooped and scored the fumble on Monday Night Football for the Cowboys just died. Marshawn Nealon just passed away. I'm trying to follow this as it pops in front of me here, but he's the guy who the. The fumble happened and he scooped it up. It was on the block kick, the block punt. He's 24 years old, Marshawn Neyland. He just died.

[Dale Hella Stray]

And they don't know.

[John Holmberg]

They're not reporting why or what happened, but it said, yeah, he's passed on. And his. His agent just put out a press release. It's very. Yeah, I don't know. Left no details. There's nothing. It just says, my friend Marshawn Nealon passed away last night. I watched him fight his way from a hopeful kid at Western Michigan with a dream to being a respected professional for the Dallas Cowboys. He poured his heart into every snap, every practice, every moment on the field. Normally, if it's like a car accident or something, Ian Rapaport would know or one of those insiders. Yeah, it's just a report from his agent that he passed away, which tells me that. Oh, boy, those.

[David Lee]

You know what it is, Johnny?

[John Holmberg]

What is it?

[David Lee]

David Lee vaccinations.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. David Lee. Come on.

[David Lee]

Don't take the jab. 98K video, Phoenix mascara.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe we should put Alex Jones and David Lee in the show together. Can you imagine that?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. My throat would be killing me.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Speaking of vaccinations, I was meeting with my nephrologist yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no.

[Dale Hella Stray]

He and I asked him about the shingles thing. He's like, oh, yeah, I got it. He goes, he and I are the same age.

[David Lee]

Don't do it.

[Dale Hella Stray]

But make sure you do it on the. The weekend, because you might be in bed on the first shot.

[John Holmberg]

There's no shot. It makes you sick.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It can. He goes. It did for me. I got the. You know, it's flu.

[David Lee]

Like, make sure you just get yourself a coffin and lay in it if you're gonna start taking these vaccines.

[Dale Hella Stray]

But the kidney is functioning even better now.

[David Lee]

Kidney's doing great, Brady. But if you take the jab, it's.

[John Holmberg]

Gonna fall out just like the other one. And also, the jab's gonna make your kidneys. Homosexuals.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Take it in the jab.

[David Lee]

Don't take it in the arm. Take it in the app. Don't take that jab, Brittany. Don't do it, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

We have to also understand that everyone who talks like this is crazy.

[David Lee]

That's right. Listen to RFK Jr. Brady. Don't take the vaccine.

[John Holmberg]

Right. He can't do it.

[David Lee]

We'll be right back with more crazy, gravelly people after this. Crazy, gravelly people. Tempe Fader.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Weezer's first gig ever was in 1992, when they attacked on a bill as the late night closer for Keanu Reeves, dog star.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, nice. Wow.

[David Lee]

Liberal propaganda from Keanu Reeves. Doesn't surprise me. Tempe Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Everything's a legal idea.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Earlier, we were talking about Brett DJing the weddings, and a couple of weddings I had DJed as well, so I'd.

[John Holmberg]

Like to have been there for that.

[Dale Hella Stray]

In October. Basically put out seven ways were rude at weddings without realizing it. Some of the ones are kind of what we touched on, but right off the bat, according to the Huffington Post, monopolizing the couple's time. Well, it's like they got to see a lot of people, but if you're over there, sure. Taking it, making a spectacle that includes big things like proposing at someone's wedding. Just getting too drunk.

[John Holmberg]

Making it about you.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Even some. Something like upstaging them on the dance floor can be seen as a rude.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just. You know what? Just try to get out of there. Eat the chicken and go home.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Stealing flowers. Don't take the centerpiece without asking first.

[John Holmberg]

Don't steal. That's a little.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Using it for something else.

[John Holmberg]

Don't steal things.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah. Requesting songs. It depends on the wedding, but a lot of couples make playlists now and put a lot of thought into it. So if the DJ says no, just drop it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Over sharing during toast. Don't share something that's embarrassing about the couple unless they think you'd be cool with it.

[John Holmberg]

You know, since Ryan's childhood rape, I always thought that maybe I would be the guy Toasting him at his wedding. Stop. Rewind. What? Oh, did you guys didn't know? Yeah, he was raped as a kid. Yeah. Anyway, by his uncle. He's here today. Ryan, Uncle Terry. Welcome. Anyway, he's got big thumbs. Ask Ryan.

[Brett Vesely]

So, Carolyn, you got rid of the bumps. Congratulations.

[John Holmberg]

And ever since Carolyn had her herpes diagnosis, we thought she'd never get married. But Ryan, he plows right through him. He doesn't care. He must have him too. Anyway, shalom.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Taking photos during the ceremony. Yes. Your iPhone 17 camera is great. But they've paid a photographer to shoot the pictures.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So don't.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah, don't get in the way. Actually ruin what the photographer is trying to do.

[Irish Caller]

When Betsy and I were in college together and she first experimented with cunnilingus with me, I thought she was gonna stay that way. But it's good, Ryan, that your wife.

[Dale Hella Stray]

The last one's pointing out something that went wrong.

[Irish Caller]

Chow down on the ass. Pretty Well, I was gonna say she's an analingus expert and I'm sure Ryan.

[John Holmberg]

Knows that you've never done that to me. I was young.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Huzzah.

[David Lee]

The bride eats ass.

[Dale Hella Stray]

The last one's pointing out something that went wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Do you think it every hour for those of you who don't know in radio we have to have a thing that says the cities are license in our tower or something. I don't even know how it works.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I think that's it. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And every hour on the hour or closest this show close as you can get. You're supposed to say. That's why David Lee every always comes.

[David Lee]

Out and goes 98 KUPD Tempe Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Once it's usually right if you know it's top the hour. I always wonder if he does that at home.

[David Lee]

I have to set my alarm for 4am Temple Phoenix past the mashed potatoes.

[Irish Caller]

It must be seven.

[David Lee]

Top of the hour at the house.

[John Holmberg]

Where's your mother?

[David Lee]

She should be home. Then at 7:03, Tempe Phoenix and then.

[Dale Hella Stray]

An occasional gravedigger, the Pope live at.

[David Lee]

The airport kiss the tarmac.

[John Holmberg]

Supercross. Supercross.

[Irish Caller]

This weekend Dad's having a dream. He dreams about work a lot.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Who'd you dream about? Bubba Stewart.

[David Lee]

Bubba Stewart defending his title in his Wrangler jeans. Tempy Phoenix just.

[John Holmberg]

He just. He talks in his sleep.

[Irish Caller]

David, you're talking in your sleep again.

[David Lee]

Larry McFeely wants you to win Valley Toyota dealers Donald Trump is Jesus Tempe.

[John Holmberg]

Phoenix still on his wife.

[Brett Vesely]

Will you go down Tempe Phoenix.

[David Lee]

Are you interested in taking any app?

[Irish Caller]

David, you're talking in your sleep.

[David Lee]

No, I'm not.

[John Holmberg]

Tempe Phoenix.

[Dale Hella Stray]

A new report says that the average person has two different places at home that they consider my spot. Yeah, this might be the couch.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't know if I have a spot. The dogs do.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Usually I do. Like I'll. You sit in the same chair.

[John Holmberg]

Got a spot for Steeler games.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And we all do. Everybody's got their own chair. I don't have a my spot. Dinner table.

[Dale Hella Stray]

And then watching people still have dinner tables.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I'll never lose my dinner table.

[Brady Bogan]

Honestly.

[John Holmberg]

Have never sat at my dinner table table. It's probably. Well in this house, especially because.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Don't you have a formal dining room as well?

[John Holmberg]

That's a dinner table, isn't it?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Well, you have one in your kitchen.

[John Holmberg]

No. How many tables do you need?

[Dale Hella Stray]

People have like the. The breakfast.

[John Holmberg]

The breakfast kitchen. Yeah, I've got like a.

[Brett Vesely]

And then you have a formal in there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, I. The dinner table.

[Dale Hella Stray]

We just have a great room which has all three, basically.

[John Holmberg]

Kitchen tables everywhere you can. Just anywhere you go, you could have a meal.

[David Lee]

Tempe Phoenix. Timber Phoenix. Everything at table two. Tempe Phoenix. Now here comes Cammy mom, Danny's husband.

[Irish Caller]

Hi, Richard.

[David Lee]

David, how are you?

[John Holmberg]

Did you rob from the rich last.

[David Lee]

Night or just go straight to bed? Chimpy Frieda.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Just my wife.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, hi, Lair bear. This is nothing new, by the way. David, you know, he's. He's always been a right wing. I had no idea. I don't want him to have human characteristics. I've never looked into him past the voice on the air. I just want him to be that. I don't even want him to be real. I want him to be AI. But I didn't know. Is he really full on, right? I mean, he's.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I'm.

[John Holmberg]

He's not like a wacko or anything, but, you know, I mean, but people are emailing me about it. I'm like, oh, I don't want to know. Yeah, I mean, he's always been like that. And he's always been very supportive of.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, Larry, the.

[John Holmberg]

The stuff that you guys do over there.

[Brady Bogan]

That is love, really.

[John Holmberg]

He loves us.

[Brady Bogan]

It is really cool.

[David Lee]

It's really great. Larry, you're doing a great job over there.

[John Holmberg]

He's got to know. Yeah, when he was in the hallway.

[David Lee]

That time, it did sound like it was kind of.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It could have been allergies.

[David Lee]

No, it's not allergies Brad. It's the jab. The goddamn vaccine. Communists. Can't be. Phoenix Morning sickness Medicate. KUPD Hol's morning sickness.

[Dale Hella Stray]

There's a health.

[David Lee]

There's three or four places I'd like to take Toledo's work. Tempe Town, Lake Tempe, Phoenix. Lake Pleasant, Tempe, Phoenix.

[Dale Hella Stray]

There's a healthcare system in Maine. It's apologizing after sending letters to 531 patients and hospitals and healthcare clinics telling them they're dead.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, geez.

[Dale Hella Stray]

The letter expressed condolences, included information on how their next of kin could resolve their estates.

[John Holmberg]

They address the letter to the dead person?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah. The company said, well, that's a glitch in itself. That's what they're saying.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, I mean, like, even if they have a notice of death, why would you send it to the dead guy? Even if it's a goof and the guy's not really dead, you'd still send it to a family member.

[Brett Vesely]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

Like, it wouldn't say, D. Brady Bogan death notice. Here. You should read this. You're dead. And if it's written in first person, it's not a mistake.

[Dale Hella Stray]

There's where the glitch was. It shouldn't have been addressed to that person specifically. Should have been to the family. But they're not even dead to begin with. So they said. The company is a non profit called Maine Health. Spokesperson says there was an error in its computer system that led to this mistake. We're sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry about that. You're not dead. We had to remind you. Get up. You're not really dead. Bailey Eats. Or emails in and says the Bride Eats Ass is a great band name. I hope that's one of our Bailey. Bailey is definitely a guy.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

They haven't gotten into Playdoh yet. By the way. There's only about five spots left, so if. If Bride Eats Ass is planning on getting in, you better get your stuff in quick.

[John Holmberg]

The Billy Joel guy just emailed in and made me laugh. He asked for Billy Joel constantly, and.

[David Lee]

I don't get it.

[John Holmberg]

And it makes me laugh. Junior, you're making me laugh. And it says, enough of the old voice dude trying to fill time in the show. If you need content, play Piano Man. Dying to hear Billy Joel, but he.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Listens every single day.

[John Holmberg]

No, here's the thing. I think that's going on. I think what's going on with him is he's got a bet with a guy who says, I'm gonna make KUPD play Piano Man. And I'm just gonna harass them until one of them caves. And he'll win, like, a thousand bucks from his first.

[Brady Bogan]

You cannot get those guys to do it.

[John Holmberg]

And he's like, I watch this. So he's been diligent about, like, everything we do. He hates. Until we play Piano man all the time. It's hilarious.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

What's considered a win? Do we play a few bars?

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no. The whole song. I think he's got a bet with the dude that we'd have. Just tell us, J.R. the whole thing. Because I love. I love what you're up to here, because it's all day. You're the best listener we've got.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Google says Christmas music search searches are way up over the past week. Specifically the phrase, when does Christmas music start on the radio?

[John Holmberg]

Started this week. Over.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Yeah, I was gonna say started last Saturday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hella Stray]

And then they polled people, asking them, when should it start? The most popular answer was after Thanksgiving. But there's a list of, like, 12 stations around the US that have already started.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

No stations. The Alexa in our house, you have that. Holiday music. No, it's not time yet.

[John Holmberg]

The most popular isn't yours.

[David Lee]

Alexi. Alexi the Russian live from Moscow. Play godless Christmas music.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Google says the top trending Christmas songs over the past month. Oh, Holy Night, Deck the Halls, and the Little Drummer Boy.

[Brett Vesely]

They haven't got to Mariah yet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, it's coming.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Hey, every December 31st, she cashes a huge check.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, props to her for that.

[John Holmberg]

It's. That's how you make it all. You get that Christmas song. You'll never stop making money.

[Brett Vesely]

George Michael's one's pretty big, too, right?

[John Holmberg]

It's a great song.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Last Christmas or Last Christmas, I gave you my heart.

[John Holmberg]

It's good stuff. It's a good song.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Got a couple of radio videos. We might have done this first one before, but it's a. Someone getting run over by a truck.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you just can't tell anymore. They've all blended together. Is he on a moped? They all look alike.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Another slow crushing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Oh, the truck. Probably doesn't know where the guy is. Oh, boy. Yeah. Okay, I'm getting more Marshawn Neyland news. He was involved in a car accident and fled the scene. Then he made calls to his family and took his own life. Oh, gee, there's some rumor of that. I don't know if that's true or not. How crazy is that? Wow, that's bananas. Why are you laughing? You're Reading something else.

[Brett Vesely]

I've been reading a bunch of stuff.

[John Holmberg]

The man killed himself after a car. That's a Brett. Yeah, that's what happened. It was a suicide. That's exactly right.

[Irish Caller]

Those are the details.

[John Holmberg]

No more questions.

[Brett Vesely]

Everybody send you their one liners now? Yeah, some I can't print off.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. This is not something David Lee would say. You never know what Brent says. He looks at his wife and says, I am. I can't get through this.

[David Lee]

I am so gonna stick it in your Tempe Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't even make sense. But I just like that he says going to.

[David Lee]

I am so seriously gonna do this. You have no clue. Omg.

[John Holmberg]

I'm so gonna stick it in your Tempe Phoenix.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Where are you heading for Vacation.

[David Lee]

Tempe Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

For all.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Daisy, isn't it Dewey Humboldt.

[John Holmberg]

Is Dewey Humboldt there?

[Dale Hella Stray]

I think it is.

[John Holmberg]

No, they're Tempe Phoenix.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

One of them's. One of them's Dewey Humble.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're Mesa feeding. Yes, that's right. They're like licensed there.

[Brady Bogan]

They're not Dewey Humble.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe that's Katie us.

[John Holmberg]

That's.

[David Lee]

No. You know who Dewey was, Brady? He's a presidential candidate back in the day who espoused communism.

[John Holmberg]

Of course.

[David Lee]

He's trying to say Dewey defeats dream of truth.

[Brett Vesely]

Where was he from?

[David Lee]

Tempe Phoenix.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Riverside Kearney.

[David Lee]

Riverside Kearney. 92.7 Oldies. Dewey Humboldt. Of course you're thinking of Humboldt. That's the weed capital of the world, you hippie.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

No idea.

[John Holmberg]

Did Lisa get mad at you for announcing her communism?

[Unknown Band Organizer]

I don't think she's aware yet.

[David Lee]

Of course she's not aware. She's unaware. She's 100% unaware, my friend. She's a communist.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Her co workers haven't informed her yet.

[David Lee]

Her co workers are also communists. Public school teachers.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry.

[David Lee]

Go ahead, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta get rid of.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Get to the crushing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, geez. Guy just walks right on. What's he doing? He walks. Oh, he walks right under the tires himself. The truck's going one mile an hour.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah. It wasn't like.

[John Holmberg]

And he walks into the flatbed and goes under the tires.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

It's that frame. It's one of those that picks up like the dumpster.

[Irish Caller]

So it's.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Yeah, rails.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Oh, gotcha. So the wheels are out.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is he not seeing at exact eye level? The thing he walks into and then falls under the tires.

[Dale Hella Stray]

He's like, I'm sitting safe. I'm next to the rail. I'm just putting my hand on it to guide me What? No idea. That the twin tires.

[David Lee]

He's drunk.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. I didn't know there were Irish. Chinese people.

[Dale Hella Stray]

And then this one I'm trying to figure out is this AI. But it comes from the.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

I think this one's a dark one. Because we'd have heard about it.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah. Oh, this is from the dark web.

[John Holmberg]

It's one of those spinny Ferris wheel type things. It's a. And a girl just fell out of.

[Dale Hella Stray]

A roller coaster, Flipped in the reverse hill. There's the. There's a body. It looks like.

[Brett Vesely]

I think it's pretty good AI if that's the case.

[John Holmberg]

But not really, because she falls out through the barrier.

[Brett Vesely]

No, I mean with the body.

[John Holmberg]

There's the body.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what I was talking about.

[Dale Hella Stray]

If that is the body, the shadow. I don't know. But it's.

[Brady Bogan]

But.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, it lifts up, but it's the.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Wrong place for the body because this is the second hill.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah. Maybe that's not a body, though. But it looks like it.

[David Lee]

No, it's probably a body. But it's not the girl that fell out. It's a vaccinated patron of the park.

[John Holmberg]

Where did it happen? The body's too big. I don't think that's real.

[Brady Bogan]

It's pretty real looking.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't need that.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. And why would it go halfway?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah, I don't think that's.

[John Holmberg]

Why would it go halfway up a roller coaster hill and then go backwards at the same speed? Next one's a.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Another quality leg break.

[John Holmberg]

Richard.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Found this one.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

All right, I got this one. Hey, it's not showing up. Hang on. Give me two seconds.

[David Lee]

Share the wealth, Richard. It's a communist phone that he uses for Internet.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we're in a little. Is this a teenage soccer club? Who dives for a soccer ball?

[Dale Hella Stray]

The plant.

[John Holmberg]

And planted his leg in the grass. And it dives in and sticks. And his leg bends backwards like a flamingo.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Somebody actually sent this to me because of the music and said, is this what happened? So here. Listen to the music.

[John Holmberg]

Is this what happened? He turns into. He turns into Thriller.

[David Lee]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

He sticks his leg in the ground. And it doesn't slide. It stays and it bends.

[Brady Bogan]

Flamingo.

[John Holmberg]

This is what teamwork looks like. They're carrying the cripple off the field now. Oh, my God. He's pretty happy about it. He snapped his knee backwards. Wow. That's brutal. All right. Yikes. I didn't like watching that. Made that crunch. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[Brett Vesely]

We'll start off easy by the way.

[John Holmberg]

While we're waiting for Brett, club is still the word for am for your.

[David Lee]

Take it in the app program.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Guys.

[John Holmberg]

Just sitting out here enjoying the day with a pig. He's on a back backyard and some. Oh, a pig got hit by lightning. That can't be real.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know if it is or not. I'm just saying.

[John Holmberg]

The pig sleeping and a dude sleeping and a pig gets hit by lightning. Why would the pig gets hit by lightning?

[Irish Caller]

Instant bacon.

[John Holmberg]

But there's a big pole right there. And the clothesline that's pretty well for AI that would be pretty detailed to have a clothesline and poor people stuff. But the pig just asleep on this guy's back patio.

[Irish Caller]

I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at that country he's in.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that might have been his wife.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, here's some action. Ride shop action.

[John Holmberg]

We're on a staircase. Guy's walking backwards on a staircase. Here comes a guy on a bike. He shoots down a staircase into an open elevator. And I don't know that he was supposed to.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

No, I think he pushed the door open on the elevator.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but there's no elevator in it. He goes down the shaft.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Well, yeah. If the elevator door is closed, there wouldn't be an elevator there.

[Dale Hella Stray]

His hands.

[John Holmberg]

It wouldn't open until the elevator got here. We'll pause it.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

He hit it and opened it.

[John Holmberg]

You don't. But the door doesn't open unless there's an elevator there.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It looks open.

[John Holmberg]

That's an open shaft.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

He knocked it off its rails is what I'm saying. The door his for forcing him hitting it open.

[John Holmberg]

It's open.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

I don't think so. I think he hit it.

[John Holmberg]

It's then they'd be swinging. I don't know. I don't think there's a door. I think it's under construction. I don't even think there's an elevator.

[Dale Hella Stray]

There's a side ladder there.

[John Holmberg]

Either way, that was stupid if that guy even try that. Because what's the alternative? The doors are closed and you just mash into it. All right, here we go.

[Brett Vesely]

Speaking of weddings.

[John Holmberg]

Bride climbing into a sports car. Race car. Brembo.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

She's biggin.

[John Holmberg]

She's not a small girl. But in fairness to her, the car is very small. Which giving the perception that she's much larger than she is.350.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

She didn't fit in that recaro seat.

[John Holmberg]

All right. She is not huge in an F350, but she would still be big. Oh, it's a bro let's go. It's a British car.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Oh, are they gonna roll?

[John Holmberg]

She's in the passenger seat. Looked like she was driving. Well, there's no way with all that weight on that house.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Yeah, she's gonna fly out.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

He just crashes it. The wedding is off. Oh, bricks didn't work. Whoa.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

What was that?

[John Holmberg]

Now we're in India, the worst country in the world. Might be a stand. We may be in a stand. It may be India or a stand. There's a big pile of poop and a guy somersault in it and then back through it, and now he's just playing in it, and no one seems to mind. They're celebrated. It's a humongous pile of possible cow, maybe elephant poop.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm going elephant.

[John Holmberg]

That's too Indian. Bathed in it.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I'm going a.

[John Holmberg]

Have you seen elephants? Have you seen India?

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Not that liquid.

[John Holmberg]

Have you seen India?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Only on video.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, they curry there, so, you know, even the elephants.

[John Holmberg]

That's all you need to know that that was real. All right. That's not it.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what happened when the plumber shows up.

[John Holmberg]

Up.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Matt Kil.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's a.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Wait.

[John Holmberg]

I got a plumber coming. This is going to happen to me Saturday. Oh, he got a plunger. Put a plunger on a woman's bald head. She's very sexy as spiderwebs around her areola.

[Brett Vesely]

That's going to be you today.

[John Holmberg]

And then pipeling expert is the name of the plumbing company. And he's got a plunger on this bald lady's head while he gives her loving. He's. She seems happy, like she's holding the plunger on. Now it is stuck to her bald head. And now he's. He's unclogging the drain onto her face.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

You're on the 202. Look at the office building.

[John Holmberg]

It does. It looks like they're just leaning over.

[Dale Hella Stray]

A fruit frosting on the 202.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Seems to be sprinkling on some people.

[Brett Vesely]

Speaking of sprinkling.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's a girl who's doing something at a store, and she's on.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Back off.

[John Holmberg]

She's on a. Oh, man. She just starts squirting on this guy's face, and she's at, like, a thrifty ice cream counter. She said sex burger.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It's a convention.

[John Holmberg]

Her name is Sana Milano. Oh, God. And then she peed in a jug, and the dude drank it, and then Chris Daughtry drank it and she kissed him. And. Yeah, I don't like any of this. All right. Well, that was weird. And I'd never been to an ice cream parlor that had that option. 32 flavors.

[Brett Vesely]

We'll just finish here. I don't really know what to say about this.

[John Holmberg]

This is a person on some sort of contraption of gravity boots or something. She's bent over and a lot of gravity peeing outside of her. It's going right through her pants. With great sports, that's not pee at all. It's like milk. And she's got crazy boots on. Big giant boots.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know what this one is.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

So what is she supported on?

[Brett Vesely]

She's stuck in, like.

[John Holmberg]

Looks like she's stuck in like a big wall hamper. Is that what it is? But it's in an alley.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. I don't know what weird.

[John Holmberg]

She's. Yeah, she's in like, Andre the giant shoes with a.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Like a Inspector Gadget jacket.

[John Holmberg]

I'm pretty sure one of the pieces of graffiti on the wall says Al Barto. Was this in Simpsons episode I missed.

[Dale Hella Stray]

The other one says yo piece.

[John Holmberg]

Huh. Some of it's in Japanese on the wall, too.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Figure out what she.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know what that is. So there you go.

[John Holmberg]

I know that's going to cost a lot of money. Get that fixed.

[Brett Vesely]

So think about that video when your plumber shows up today.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we'd be there at 7am on Saturday. Got a big. Got a big project. But he shows up. Expert pipe layer better be on his shirt, too, because if I see a.

[Brett Vesely]

Plunger mark on your head when we get to action ride shop, I'm going.

[David Lee]

To be questioning homework's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Unh.

[David Lee]

Like kdkb, we don't tolerate any of that commie. Except Toido's wife.

[Irish Caller]

Hi, Richard.

[John Holmberg]

There you go, everybody. That.

[Brett Vesely]

What's the word again?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's club.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

C, like the cracker club. You get on that thing. You got 10 more minutes. With that, you can pop yourself into the 8 o' clock promo box and.

[David Lee]

Take it in the 80s.

[John Holmberg]

It's 8 31. There goes your Brady report.

[David Lee]

Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

He said fully erect.

[David Lee]

Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at.

[John Holmberg]

98Kupd.Com Dale's gonna come in and talk a little sports. Although something very weird going on in sports now. I'm trying to to trying to find out about. But Marshawn Nealon passing away is not cool. That's a tough year for the cowboys. They're a disaster. That's a Mess of a franchise. But this is not. It's not a good thing if what I'm reading is real. And I don't want to go crazy reading what I'm reading. But evidently they're thinking maybe he killed someone with his car, took off. Took off, and then couldn't deal with what was about to happen to him. And then it. Nuts. Let's get some fun stuff. Palladio is right around the corner. That is literally, what, 19 days away. Oh, boy. Yeah. Getting awfully darn close to Palladio. So Palladio will be here for those of you who don't know local bands or just bands who have no following, really. They're. You're not famous yet. Are trying to get some time on the air and win the Plato contest. Winner of Plato gets what, 2,500 bucks? 2,000. 2,000. Now we've dropped the price. I don't think. $2,000 and some studio time. We're going to get involved in there, and hopefully that's enough to get you over to the, you know, to go do our theme song for next year. I am going to be sad that Miles to Nowhere is not doing our theme song. People on email are grown to love that theme song. And we'll have a new one starting in January, and it'll be decided the week of Thanksgiving on the show when we play nothing but your music for two days. There are five slots still available. It's first come, first serve. So you guys can drop off your stuff and get that together and just be ready to go for Platio 2025/6. Larry, here is your answer. Oh, but what. Tempe is the city of license. Doesn't matter where the studio is located. FCC rules state call letters followed by city of license. Okay, so Tempe Phoenix is where we have. Larry got all worried that we were breaking the law there. I'm wrong.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

So are we holding two licenses then? Because we say two cities.

[John Holmberg]

No, Phoenix is where the tower. Phoenix is where. Where we broadcast. Yeah, yeah. So we come out of the tower off the mountain, and Tempe is where the license is. Because we got worried there for a sec. We're not in Tempe anymore. Are we going to get in trouble?

[David Lee]

Tempe Phoenix, you're not getting trouble for that later, but you will get in trouble for pushing that COVID vaccine on everybody. Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, get involved in Palladio. Hop in this thing, get your band together, get a nice recording. To D. [e-mail] Correct?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Correct.

[John Holmberg]

And people have figured that out somehow over the years. And if with five slots remaining, some of you guys are going to get in this thing last second. Now, Brett brought up an interesting point a little bit ago. Oh, AI is going to play a part in this, this year. Will we get an AI band and will we know?

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Fair point.

[John Holmberg]

It's a very fair point. And then when we ask them to show up live jokes on us, they won't be there. And that's fine, they can't win.

[Brett Vesely]

But we've had a couple that couldn't perform like they did it. And like, I'm a one man band. I can't do it, you know.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Well, I don't want to spoil it, but there is, there is a band of two people that said that we both worked office jobs. There's no way. I'm not thinking that we'll make it, but if we do, there's no way we'll be able to perform.

[John Holmberg]

Well, then you can't win because that's part of it. But we'll still get it together. Plato right around the corner. Very excited about who wins this year and who we have to spend next year with every single morning until the next show. I know, Brutal.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Two days.

[John Holmberg]

It's always, man. See, I don't look at it that way. Yeah, more positive. No, I, I love it.

[Brett Vesely]

You're lying.

[John Holmberg]

Not lying. I find the. I am a hate watcher. The worse it is, the better I feel.

[Brett Vesely]

By day two, we're all like, no.

[John Holmberg]

By day two we are a little bit like, come on, is anybody talented? Yeah, but still a little bottom line. I enjoy it because people are putting their best foot forward and they're trying. You know, some of them shouldn't try. I agree.

[Brett Vesely]

Just burn their instruments.

[John Holmberg]

But strap on the. This is no way to fill these last five slots.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

And Brett, you are.

[Brett Vesely]

Bring the good stuff.

[John Holmberg]

I'm with you on that. But they think they are, which makes it even better. We'll find out what we have with Playdoh this year. Brett's already angry. We got 20 days. Also next week. There's still some tickets available for the thing I'm doing with William Shatner next Thursday. That's next Thursday. It's a week. Is it the 13th?

[Unknown Band Organizer]

13Th?

[John Holmberg]

It's the 13th. So it's next Thursday and that's going to be a blast. William Shatner comes to town, he shows the Wrath of Khan and then everybody watches the movie. And then afterwards, Q A with. I'm moderating it with Frank Caliendo. This year who just wants to be up there and hang out with William Shatner and we ask him some questions, he tells these stories, they're magnificent stories. And it only lasts about an hour. So next Thursday, from 7 until 10 o', clock, we'll have William Shatner on stage. And you can still get tickets for that at the Orpheum Theater. Yes, and you go to Orpheum Theater events and things like that.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Google or Freedom Theater, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

And yeah, you'll find Tempe Phoenix. Google that and get that together. I'm telling you, even if you're not a huge William Shatner fan, watching this guy with his history, I mean, this guy was in the original Twilight Zone. He was in. He was on TV in the 50s. I mean, it's remarkable how long he has been in this world doing what he's doing and how many different iterations of William Shatner there have been and how much stuff he's done. Just last year he shot off into space for real on the Blue Origin, remember? I mean, the guy has got stories and so he comes loaded for him. And he's 94 years old and he's got more energy than anybody I know. It is crazy.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

The other you go to his website, williamshatner tour.com.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and my goal with this is to, by the end of the night, say the words without being corrected. Thanks a lot, Bill. That's it. I just want to be on the Bill page because right now he's Mr. Shatner. And last time he said, call me Bill, and I'm like, all right, but I can't. I have to call you Mr. Shatner.

[David Lee]

I don't understand why.

[John Holmberg]

I think we're friends now. Aren't we friends? I want to be with you. No, no, no. I'm gonna leave now. And he gave me some sound advice about like, mattresses and life and all this other stuff while he ate in front of me and never offered any of it. We're having dinner with him this year. I'm gonna have dinner with you. Wait, did get to share dinner last time? I'd like to stop. No, we're gonna do it at the Orpheum. It's going to be brought in, he won't go out. So we're gonna have dinner delivered from wherever we want, which is the cool thing. So maybe Rah Rah Room will do it, but then we get to do that. So that's next Thursday, Bill. William Shatner will be on stage with me and Frank Caliendo after you watch Wrath of Khan. Trust Me on this one. It is a night of entertainment. You will not be disappointed. It's awesome. The best. The best gig I'll ever get because it's. Do you want to hang out with William Shatner all night? Check that. Yes. And then you get to host this thing he does for an hour. And I'm like, okay, what are my responsibilities? You ask him a couple of questions and he tells 20 minute stories about each question. Question. I don't do anything. I just sit and laugh, occasionally throwing a jab. And now Caliento's going to be up there. I'm just getting a great seat to the Williams Shatner show. I get to sit next to him. Well, you're nothing more than a crowd member. Do something. And I will. It's going to be great. So get your tickets to that too. That's going to be a blast. So just a little housekeeping here as we clean it up. It is silly. Well, there the outside seats are they. Last time it was the same thing. The middle was all gone. Gone. Most of the front was gone. And then the back balcony is all sold. The balcony is sold out. Holy smokes. Thing is packed up. So there's some seats left. Highly recommend you get involved in this. And if you're just. If you're. Huh.

[Brett Vesely]

I've never been to the army.

[John Holmberg]

You haven't? You should go. It's pretty neat. It's that. You know what's sad about that?

[Unknown Band Organizer]

You saw nothing more or.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, I've only seen comedy shows. And the Shatner thing at the Orpheum. Oh, actually, no, that was it. That was all I've seen there it is a crown jewel of downtown Phoenix that no one knows about.

[Brett Vesely]

Kind of hidden too. I mean, like, you know, I know it's right there on the street, but it's not on like, you know, Washington.

[John Holmberg]

And the sign is kind of quiet.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And the theater is beautiful. It was designed in the 20s by 1920s homosexuals. There's no question in my mind. Curtains, paintings on the wall are all like flamboyant crazy. I didn't even know they had gays in the desert in the 1920s that weren't in Egypt. They were here. Here. Figured the Cowboys in the 1920s wouldn't have tolerated that. But they designed this thing and it is stunning and the sound's amazing and it's just. It's a great place. So when you get there, you'll see this. And the Shatner thing is going to be a blast. We got that going. So get it all ready. Get your tickets and we'll see you there. That's it. It's 9 o'. Clock. Your word for 9 o'. Clock. Gotta lick my finger. Whale. Whale. Like the mammal, not like the screaming whale. Whale. That's your 9 o' clock code word.

[David Lee]

To take it in the app. That's it.

[John Holmberg]

Dale hell is going to join us in just a little bit. We'll talk some sports on a weird sports day.

[David Lee]

It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

He said fully erect. 98.

[David Lee]

Still streaming home birthday morning sickness. [e-mail] oh, baby.

[John Holmberg]

It is Thursday morning. It's 9.

[Brett Vesely]

There we go.

[Brady Bogan]

10.

[John Holmberg]

Are we already yelling at what happened?

[Brett Vesely]

He's bitching about the music.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I mean coming. That's headache music.

[John Holmberg]

That was a great song. Royal blood British. You're not even okay. Nothing about you.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Cultured.

[John Holmberg]

You're cultured. International Dale Hellistrate joins us once again for a glorious Thursday morning check of the sports world and whatever the hell's going on with Dale. Sports report is brought to you by diamond coatingsaz.com I never read about their details. They did my basketball court. They did Brady's. They did your pavers and your garage floor, which is awesome. And the best part about it is if you look on their website, you can see the video of my court. They did it so I don't have to do this over and over every year. The stuff they have is UV stable so the sun doesn't fade or yellow. Yellow. The colors, it's going to stay that way for a long time. Plus, for a guy like me, the thing that matters most, in and out. They were in and out of there in a few days. That was a big job. I hate when that stuff lingers for days on end. Diamondcoatingsaz.com if you want to go there, they'll do your garage, they'll do your pavers, they'll do any floor you've got and they'll make it look better.

[Brett Vesely]

This one just got sent over to look at this.

[John Holmberg]

We got. Oh, yeah. There's a whole bunch of weird.

[Brett Vesely]

What's going on.

[John Holmberg]

Eric Spolster's house burned down.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This guy for the Cowboys. I mean, it's speculation. They don't have any details of it. He dies. He had a huge game on Monday where he blocked the punt and returned it for a touchdown. They find him dead, but there's no real details yet. There's speculation that he was in an accident, something terrible happened and he went home and killed himself. That's what I've read a few times. I'm like, if that's real.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Then he was probably drunk or on drugs or doing something he shouldn't have been doing that made the guilt hit him to have to leave the scene in the first place.

[Brady Bogan]

Before we get into all that, I do have one bone to pick.

[Irish Caller]

What a day.

[John Holmberg]

Go.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm driving over here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You guys are selling this Playdoh thing. Yeah. I mean, your people are volunteering to play music for whatever the hell they're playing. Music.

[Dale Hella Stray]

A lot of bands looking to make it.

[Brady Bogan]

And I hear the sour puss of.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he hates it. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it's terrible.

[Brady Bogan]

And I mean, if you're trying to sell something, he should be on top of his.

[Brett Vesely]

Why don't you come in for it, Dale? You want to listen to it too.

[John Holmberg]

You're bitching about Royal Blood, who's a massively good band.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't like your music. Now you're bringing us a country. You should have a country group be your theme.

[John Holmberg]

Christ.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Southern rock is about.

[Brady Bogan]

But these are guys that aren't known. Brad. They give him a chance.

[Brett Vesely]

You're bitching about Royal Blood and you haven't even heard the stuff that we have to suffer.

[John Holmberg]

What makes this show better than all the others?

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

When we feel like something is we just say something. We're not going to play pretend that Brett enjoys.

[Irish Caller]

He did.

[Brady Bogan]

He didn't actually say it. He actually. It was a tone of voice and the I could see how say it. I could see how he was sitting when he was saying that.

[John Holmberg]

I say it.

[Brett Vesely]

I dread it.

[John Holmberg]

He dreads the playo. I love it because I I, I love the idea of something sucking so bad that you get to kind of envelop yourself in how somebody thinks this is worth your time.

[Brady Bogan]

No, see, I, I, I hate I was thinking that you're you're for the little people. Give people a chance to help them be. Isn't this defined?

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

Some garage band that diamond in the rough. Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

And there are some good bands that come out of it. Like our, our winner last year.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't like listening to crap. I think it's hilarious areas. And the needle in the haystack will reveal itself if it's out there. So that's what that's why we do it.

[Dale Hella Stray]

And for some of the bands, it's a good little reality check in a way.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hella Stray]

They take away some of the feedback.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

We're not Guys are the judges oh, yeah. Oh, God.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And don't talk your stuff. You're the one bitching about.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're the one who said Ozzy was terrible.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

So don't even start going you Dale.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Exactly right. Brett whining and crying about Ozzy the whole time. He's mad at you for unknown.

[Brady Bogan]

These are nobodies and they're trying to be somebody.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

I cheer for those.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Now let's talk about the real stuff in sports today. Matt and Ryan Khalil and their huge three coke canned penises. Did you see the. The podcast about Matt Khalil? Do you know him for. It was a defensive line or an offensive. He was an offensive line climbing desert mountain. No, that. That's the quarterback. That's Slovis. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This guy. His ex wife went on a podcast. And this will never happen to you either. If Brooke comes to her senses someday and finally goes and comes on this show and says, I hear to talk to John about Dale. Oh, she would actually say, I'm here to talk about my new fiance John, about Dale. She would say, I left him because I didn't like Dale. Not what this lady said, which is, I left him because we couldn't have sex.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Sex.

[John Holmberg]

His penis was like three Coke cans stacked on top of each other. Is that the greatest divorce you've ever heard in your life?

[Dale Hella Stray]

She tried to even actually get lipo done.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

They tried to liposuction some of it out so she could be more comfortable.

[Dale Hella Stray]

She was proposing that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. You imagine that.

[Irish Caller]

Wouldn't it.

[John Holmberg]

Wouldn't it be worth divorce for Brooke to spread that tale? Like she calls up Mark Curtis over at Channel 12 and says, I'm getting divorced from Dale and I got some things I want to say.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I didn't say she goes to Troy Hayden.

[John Holmberg]

Troy. And well, he's friends with both of them. But we could. We could get that to happen. And then maybe even Ian Schwartz, who would like his mouth would drop to the floor.

[Brady Bogan]

There are four guys in here that I can promise you will never, ever, ever have that issue.

[John Holmberg]

It was too uncomfortable. Now, hold on, hold on. Saying the words it was uncomfortable having sex with a. Might happen, but not for the same reason.

[Brady Bogan]

Right. Because of the size of your mouth.

[John Holmberg]

For you, it would be like, this is just uncomfortable. I don't like anything that's happening. He's crying very hard. For me, it would just be like, when does this end? Like, I hate every second of it. For Brady, it would be like, oh, yeah, sex.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It's acorn in my side. I just.

[John Holmberg]

It was Brett, maybe. I don't know. Matthias seems like, you know, she's comfortable with you. That away.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Three Coke cans. You ever see one of those in the locker room?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, the closest Michael Irvin. Yeah, closest.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And it's not that.

[John Holmberg]

Did anyone ever challenge Michael Irvin in that department in the locker room? It was just his for good.

[Brady Bogan]

Let him go on his way. Just let him go on his way. Every once in a while. You can distract him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I think I've told you before, I'd say, but, Michael, you look like you put on a few pounds. I mean, they all suddenly get all up. Yeah, but his.

[John Holmberg]

But you're talking about his penis.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes. It's just. Again, let. Let those guys enjoy their glory.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They have to.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Nobody outworked Michael's penis.

[John Holmberg]

No. It was strong. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Did I ever tell you the story about. About my grandson? And it's. It's a. It's a clean story. It's a fun story. Don't turn it dirty.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you're the. Oh, it's on the precipice of Michael Irvin's dirty.

[Brett Vesely]

Hold on.

[John Holmberg]

Your transition was speaking of Michael Irvin's dick. Have I ever told you about my grandson?

[Brady Bogan]

Don't turn it dirty.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

No. So we're taking care of one weekend, and it's my turn to get him ready for bed. He takes his bath. All of a sudden, he stands up in the bathtub. He goes, papa, do you have a wiener? And I went ask. Don't turn it dirty, Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

So I said, I'm not gonna say anything.

[Brady Bogan]

You almost did.

[John Holmberg]

I'm turning my mic off. Turn it off. Turn your mic off. I'll turn. I'm turn.

[Dale Hella Stray]

And grandpa said, well, yes, I do.

[Brady Bogan]

And I said, why, yes, I do. And. And he looks at me, goes, my wiener's bigger than yours. And I'm like, where's this coming from?

[Brett Vesely]

I'm turning my. This is too easy.

[Brady Bogan]

I've got you for a few years, son. And I asked my daughter, so where did that come from?

[John Holmberg]

And.

[Brady Bogan]

And she said that she's gonna bath one night. And she. He said, look at my wiener, mom. It's big, isn't it? Because I didn't want to ruin his confidence.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, Brooke just texted me and said that you're stacked like two Tootsie Rolls. So that's not bad. That's pretty good. It's not cocaine side by side.

[Brady Bogan]

It's not. It's not side by side. Not the length. It's the girth, Johnny.

[John Holmberg]

So that side by side, tootsie rolls. All right. I suppose, if you're proud of that.

[Brady Bogan]

No, those big. Those big ones.

[Dale Hella Stray]

A jumbo.

[Brett Vesely]

The joke ones.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's impressive. Yeah, I just. I remember that there's just moments when, you know, like when Sam Cassell came in the locker room when I was covering stuff and his touch the ground and spun like a. It's just. I don't know that I'd be a comfortable athlete.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you. When you. When you noticed it, did you immediately, like, make an awkward turn away?

[John Holmberg]

He yelled at everybody. His towel fell off while he was yelling at the team with the press in the room.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

So he came out of the showers while we're all talking about the sons who were at the time, 0 and 1212, yelling and screaming. And he comes out and started to scream. I don't care who's in here. I'm the only mother who cares about this team. I'm the only mother cares about winning. And he goes on and on. And his towel fell off. And he was so mad that it started to swing left to right and then started to do full rotations because his body was gyrating all over.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Hit four guys.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't hear a thing at their locker. I didn't hear anything.

[Brady Bogan]

So you didn't turn away?

[John Holmberg]

I stared at it. It was marvelous. Everybody did.

[Brett Vesely]

Dale, did it sound like a chopper landing at the 4,007 7 or what?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there was that. It was a very str.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't care.

[Irish Caller]

I'm standing with my junk out and everything.

[John Holmberg]

What? I can't hear you. I can't hear you. Sam, slow down. It was so big.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Wanted to jump over it swinging.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, I grabbed it. We got him and Michael Irvin. We did double Dutch for a half an hour. It was insane. And I'm like, all these other guys in here are bad. And then. And. And Kevin Durant just did an interview where he said he had body image issues. And I'm like, that's a penis thing. You're seven feet tall. You're in great shape. Why are you telling a magazine? It's like, I really have some serious body image problems. The only reason you would is because you had a locker next to Sam Cassell for a little bit.

[Brady Bogan]

Right? And you. You probably have a Holmberg issue. Maybe I would.

[John Holmberg]

Trust me. We all. Sam. Because I could still be packing. Nice. Cassell rolls up and I'm like, when did they hand those out? How did I not. How did I miss that? It's incredible. So, so it's, you know, you had to walk around in there with your pinky.

[Brady Bogan]

Wait, isn't that a weird thing about it? Isn't that a weird concept? Just grown dudes walking around naked, taking a shower in a big, big, giant ones. Yeah. Big shower.

[Dale Hella Stray]

And singing.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. You know, just talking. You know, you sit there showering.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, what are you doing after, you know, after we get out of here, after meetings, it's everything that's like, it's normal.

[John Holmberg]

It isn't. It's the least normal thing in the world. And it's everything you try to avoid in everyday life. And yet in sports and in athletes, athletics, it's like, let's get naked.

[Brady Bogan]

But I'll tell you, when it gets bad is I go to this gym up, up north, and there's these old guys who, I promise you they're wise to not allow them to walk around naked around their house. But they walk around. The log was like, I have told guys, cover yourself up.

[John Holmberg]

Put something over them.

[Brady Bogan]

Nobody wants to see that.

[John Holmberg]

Shaven.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Their patents like that leaning over this. And I think they're like, dale, do.

[Dale Hella Stray]

You have a wiener?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's something, there's some validity to the idea they're not allowed to be naked at home. Yes. And so they just. They have to be naked somewhere.

[Brady Bogan]

Somewhere.

[John Holmberg]

So they wander around each other.

[Brady Bogan]

I, I, I have gone into the steam room a couple times. There's been a guy just sitting there with a towel underneath his butt. Sitting there. I said, put that towel on yourself.

[John Holmberg]

See, but there's the problem. You're going into a steam room with strangers. You're going to see some dicks.

[Brady Bogan]

You've never been in a steam room?

[John Holmberg]

Not with other people.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yuck.

[Brady Bogan]

What? You're rich enough that you have a steam room at your house?

[John Holmberg]

Actually, I do. So. Yeah. Get any questions about that? Yeah, I got a sauna in there.

[Brady Bogan]

Do you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's awesome.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

But it's an individual house.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, when I come over, you're not.

[John Holmberg]

Allowed in that side. You're allowed in the public domain area.

[Brady Bogan]

There's that door I heard you talk about. If you try to go out of the.

[John Holmberg]

You get shot. Yeah. There are people on the other side. Well, armed guards. That's the real part of the house. And then there's the area where you hang out.

[Brett Vesely]

You let the commoners go in there. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

The homeless come on.

[John Holmberg]

The, the soup kitchen.

[Brady Bogan]

So to speak.

[John Holmberg]

They come in, you have your pizza and you get out and then, you know, I'll allow you in there. And if you start wandering around on the other side, there's some trouble. So it's on that side. Like what, you're not coming over to use my sauna anyway?

[Brady Bogan]

No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't do it. But by the way, do you see the gift I left you last Thursday?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Of course I did. You didn't see the picture I sent back?

[Brady Bogan]

No, I never got.

[John Holmberg]

Dale gave me his Baltimore Ravens beanie and it's proudly draped over the back of my office toilet. Yeah, it's on. It's on the handle.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought you put it on Adolf Hitler or something.

[John Holmberg]

No, Adolf Hitler's not in there. Technically, it's just the COVID of a book. Yeah, it's just. And you know that Hitler's in my bathroom, so stay out of my bath.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I've been in there a couple times.

[John Holmberg]

You haven't.

[Brady Bogan]

It's relaxing.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a thing. I want to talk about the Cowboys, even though they're going through a thing today, Monday night's game. This is like. This goes back to what you've been saying the whole time about them being soft and stuff. And then we'll get into the Kyler Murray thing. Also the that team had swagger in a game where they were down almost the entire time. Bad. They were tackling guys after nine yard runs and high fiving each other and it wasn't like they were mean mug. And one dude flexed over the running back for the Cardinals. The Cardinals came into your building and slapped you silly from jump and your high powered offense and all this. And they're on the sidelines laughing and high fiving and joking. You're down 24 something to the Cardinals who are in a complete shambles and they came into your building. Did this. Is that coaching or is that just something that you just have to clean house? You can't fix that.

[Brady Bogan]

That is. Again when you talk about. We talk about the Jets. I guess maybe we're off there. When we were talking about the jets and how from the top everything gets permeated by what the top is. If it's good, good smelling stuff comes down. If it's bad like the jets, it's bad smelling stuff comes downhill. It's the Cowboys ownership. It starts with Jerry Jones who has audacity. Last week to go, yeah, I know we can fix our defense, but there's $100 million in natural gas out there. That a billion dollars in natural. Natural gas that I'm making phone calls on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And that's fine. Yeah. But then hire a dude to do your football stuff.

[John Holmberg]

You're basically saying out loud, I don't.

[Brady Bogan]

Have time to do my job and I don't care.

[John Holmberg]

And screw you. The fans will show up.

[Brady Bogan]

And I've told you this before. Their PAGS facility, it's a Taj Mahal. It's gorgeous, but it's also like a zoo. They allow tours to come through. You're going from one meeting to the weight room or the lunchroom. And there's 40 people walking through Oogland and Oglim, but there's mahogany. I promise you, John, if you walk into that locker room, it's cleaner than your house has ever been. And that doesn't speak of football, does not speak of putting your hand in the door. Dirt, knocking the crap out of somebody in front of you.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. So you go from that, and it's gorgeous. Yeah. Nothing speaks football.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

To the stadium, which is even worse, which is even more ostentatious.

[John Holmberg]

Look at you.

[Brady Bogan]

Look at that.

[John Holmberg]

And reading words from a big word book.

[Brady Bogan]

Brett, spell that for me. D, A, L, E. But you go to the stadium, it's even more plush.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And guess what you do when you walk out of the field to play a football game? You walk through a bar.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You walk through a bar to a stinking bar. Nothing talks about football.

[John Holmberg]

And get treated like a superstar. The fans will not stop filming you and taking your paparazzi in.

[Brady Bogan]

And so it starts at the top, permeates down. Nobody's gonna be held. Nobody's held accountable. I promise you, if that was the 90s and I'm not, I kind of the old guy on the. On the front porch, but I'm really not.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're not wrong.

[Brady Bogan]

But if that happened in the 90s, somebody would have you up against a locker after the game telling you that's not.

[John Holmberg]

On second and 10, the Cardinals ran a basic sweep and got nine yards. And it wasn't like a well blocked or any guy just didn't have anybody hit him. Nine yards in corner, takes him down, stands over him, gives a little flex and high fives the other guy. Instead of like, we just gave up nine yards.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

They're getting three more downs.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

For sure.

[Brady Bogan]

It's. It's a tough watch for those.

[John Holmberg]

It can't.

[Brady Bogan]

Former people.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And as fans, it's like, you get to the point where you're like, this has to Change now. And they're not going to until the owners go, I came up with this this morning. Every seven years, if your team has not made the playoffs, the league forces you to sell yourself. Somebody else said, sell for what you bought credit for. You can't profit. You've been profiting the whole time off. You're giving back because the fans are the ones who are getting screwed. And for seven years, you haven't had a winning season.

[Brady Bogan]

You wonder if somebody put that into the rule book, just how serious Jerry would become.

[John Holmberg]

No one would go seven years. None of those guys would be like, I can't lose this cash cow.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And it's because of Jerry Jones that these teams have so much value. But it's also because of that a lot of these owners just sit back and steal the money.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

The Bidwells would be in the mix, but we're. I know it'll be a couple of. Couple of years off to having that. You've got to get rid of it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Can you imagine going to year seven?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you would. You, you'd spend all the money. If you're in year seven, the league gives you another 25 million for the cap because you're in your bad year. Go grab some free agents because you're in year seven. If you don't make it happen this year, you're gone. And you, you're not banned from the NFL. You can buy another team that's going through the same thing, but you can't have this one for.

[Brady Bogan]

Because think about it. Here's the deal. We talk about the jets in Cleveland all the time.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Always.

[John Holmberg]

Cleveland jets, never ends.

[Brady Bogan]

Cleveland Jets.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, guess what? The jets have gone further than the playoffs more recently than the Cowboys have. They played in championship games 10, 12 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

15 years ago was their last winning.

[Brady Bogan]

1995 since the Cowboys got to the NFC championship game.

[John Holmberg]

But they make the playoffs all the time. Steelers the same way. Make the playoffs all the time. They got to get further. But that franchise is now in that up. Oh, we're not very good for a long, long time thing.

[David Lee]

It's bad.

[John Holmberg]

All right. I like my theory. I think it would work. Instead of relegating like they do in soccer, you just. The owners can't stay. The Bidwells would have to go. And if you go 14 years and you only got two, you're automatically out forever. If you're only one for two seven year spans, that's it. That's. That's two generations, for God's sakes. You're out.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I tell you, if the government. We gotta go to break.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we'll go to break. We'll go to break right now. You keep that thought in your head if it's possible. Possible. There's nothing else in there. Dale Hellister is joining us right now, brought to you by our friends at Diamond Coatings az. We'll talk some more sports next.

[David Lee]

Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

All right. We are in the heart of Dale Hella Stray's visit with us on Thursdays. He comes down here. Brought to my [e-mail] and they'll take care of your needs for your floor, flooring, pavers, garage, patio, whatever you want to.

[Brady Bogan]

Basketball court.

[John Holmberg]

Basketball court. Your sports house. Oh, they'll paint your house inside and out, too. They told me about that last time they're at the house. I didn't even know that part. Diamondcoatingsaz.com we'll get to our fanduel picks in just a moment, but we were just talking about the Cowboys and their swagger and all the silliness and how bad franchises stay bad for a reason and relegating this to that and getting rid of owners. There's also the quiet soap operas that go on. We got one right here in town. Yes, I have for years said that Kyler Murray got the short end of the stick. Every time I watch the Cardinals with.

[Brady Bogan]

Is there a pun there or no?

[John Holmberg]

He is short, that's true. But he's the best athlete on the field every game. Like that guy's incredibly athletic. Size is a little bit of a problem. Yeah, he's got the strongest arm of a quarterback. He's Dan Marino. Strong, a quick flick. He's 65 yards. Whenever he just decides to dream it, it's a big arm. What we can't see as fans is what is wrong with him mentally. The Cardinals have now taken a guy who almost started Monday and placed him on ir, which tells me two things. There's a problem inside between either Gannon and him or ownership in him. And he's being cordial about it. And so are they. Or they tried to ship him. There were no bites and they had to come back and go, kyler, you're not playing. And we're gonna have to do something about that to make this easier on us and you. We don't want to embarrass you. How's your foot? And at that moment, kind of with a wink and a nod, Tyler goes, it's bad.

[Dale Hella Stray]

It's a boo boo.

[John Holmberg]

It's a bad one and it's not here.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. You know, it's, it's the, the whole trade thing that's fascinating.

[John Holmberg]

I think they tried to unload it.

[Brady Bogan]

Because what could you possibly think you could get for a Kyler Murray when.

[John Holmberg]

You saw the prices of the other players getting traded? You saw Scarner going for two first rounders to a franchise that should not have done that. Their problem was not corner, although it wasn't deep. They got better. But that was a big swing.

[Brady Bogan]

It was a big swing.

[John Holmberg]

The Cowboys getting Quinn and Williams for a lot.

[Brady Bogan]

But by the way, did you. The thing, I said this on Monday on our other show on, on the main event, the fact that. Did you see the, the goal line play where the Cardinal quarterback is. The name Jacoby does the quarterback sneak. Yeah.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

The Cowboys had, first of all, just a four man front.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And. And the defensive tackles were on the inside shoulders of the guards. So there's a natural hole right there in the middle. But what they did was they slanted out, out to the B gaps.

[John Holmberg]

So they left him.

[Brady Bogan]

The two guards are wedging in with the set. They had nobody to block. It's like, come on. Was that the defensive call? Because both defensive tackles did it. I don't care if you had Aaron Donald in his prime. Doesn't matter if you say, hey, you're in this gap. Slat outside on a quarterback sneak. He's not going to make the tack. It makes no sense.

[John Holmberg]

You're going right over.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's just Matt Eberfluss, the defense in Dallas.

[Brady Bogan]

It's just, it's.

[John Holmberg]

How much do you think. And you see said, oddly enough, Troy Aikman went through this with the Cowboys when they had to go to him and say, we got two options here. You're either still hurt or Berline's our guy. Cuz Berline was winning and Troy was struggling that year. That was early on.

[Brady Bogan]

No, he, he had a great start of the season. Hurt his knee.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. So he was going to be out for a month.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. That. You couldn't put guys on IR back then because you put him on IR and they're gone for the, for the prison.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. And so Steve comes in, we win one game, we win two games, we win three games, win four games. Now Troy's getting started, getting healthy. Now he went five games.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Now Troy's healthy. We won five in a row. And Jimmy went to him and said, we're sticking with Steve. It was There were like two or three times in Jimmy's tenure there in Dallas where it was a razor's edge of whether he's going to lose the locker room really not in.

[Brett Vesely]

In.

[Brady Bogan]

In 1990. When I got there, Steve Walsh, Troy Aikman locker room divided really. They wouldn't make a decision on who was the guy. And because you had bunch of universal Miami guys, they finally settled on Troy. We went on to.

[John Holmberg]

Was Irvin on Walsh's side?

[Brady Bogan]

Irvin was.

[John Holmberg]

They played together in Miami quietly.

[Brady Bogan]

I think he knew Troy was the.

[John Holmberg]

Better quarterback, but he couldn't bail.

[Brady Bogan]

He. He didn't want him a yell and screamer. Yeah. Against you. So. So almost lost lock room there. And then when the Troy Steve Berline thing we now we've won six in a row going into the playoffs. Yeah. Troy's been healthy for two weeks and Jimmy decided we're going to stick with Steve for the Wildcat game against Chicago in Chicago, and we beat them. So now we won seven in a row with Berline. Troy's been healthy for three weeks and boiling hot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And again, he. He kept. He was professional.

[John Holmberg]

Troy keep it together. Did he talk to you about it?

[Brady Bogan]

Yes. Oh, yeah. He's furious.

[John Holmberg]

I hate that Jimmy Johnson.

[Brady Bogan]

And he made calls to Lee Steinberg and said, I want out of here. Really. You know, I can't stand it here. I need to get out of here. Whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

And then we went up to Detroit and that was the year Barry Sanders had that run. You'll see on all the highlights tour, all 11 defenders had at least one chance at him.

[John Holmberg]

Some of them had sometimes had two couple of fans. He's still running.

[Brady Bogan]

He's still guy. Yeah. And he's still running. And then they brought Troy in late, but somehow, some way, they patched it up early in the off season.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

And Steve was, you know, super cordial about it. He said, hey, I'm not the starting quarterback. Somehow, some way, we're just winning games. It's Troy's team, but we keep winning.

[John Holmberg]

Why take out the hot hat, Right?

[Brady Bogan]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

So Kyler being sat on the IR now. Yeah. To me is basically it's a soft benching. And the idea is that he will not be here.

[Brady Bogan]

I think you've seen Kyler Murray for the last time. Unless all hell breaks loose.

[John Holmberg]

So the quarterback for the Cardinals is going to be Kendrel Sloven or whatever his name.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Slovis.

[John Holmberg]

Ken Desert Mountain High School Keaton Slovis, inevitably. Because going back to Dale's patented for phrase, Arizona fans Can't have nice things. Jacoby Brissette might be playing well, but something's going to happen where his rib pops or something this weekend. And Slovis to the rescue.

[Brady Bogan]

They're gonna be up 21 to 10 on Seattle with five minutes left and something's gonna go wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Something stupid will happen and they'll be like, Slovis is the answer. And you're gonna deal with Slovis going out the door. Yes, it's gonna happen.

[Brady Bogan]

And that's the thing though. The whole, the whole interesting thing is how do you figure out the, the salary cap ramifications and all that, that disaster because. But you know, Denver shown, hey, you can do it. You can get rid of Russell Wilson and eat $60 million for a couple years.

[John Holmberg]

You'll be fine.

[Brady Bogan]

And if you get the right quarterback, you can still make the playoffs.

[John Holmberg]

And that just goes to tell you that payroll means nothing to the owners at all. They're capped for other teams reasons. You get that huge. These guys don't lose a penny on this.

[Brady Bogan]

No, they don't lose. They don't lose. It's just what, it's what cap you do.

[John Holmberg]

You can't do anything to your right. Your roster gets screwed. Right. But you can dead money that they can play with it. And they did. Denver did a great job. Just had to eat it for a year.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes. And now again, now can you talk Bidwell into saying, hey, this isn't our guy. Plus the fact that, that we said it off the air. The fact that there's been no NFL coach who's gone through three full years, not made the playoffs and come back for a fourth game. And that's third year. This is his third year, you know, and it certainly does not look like they're on a playoff.

[John Holmberg]

Although they played well against the.

[Brady Bogan]

They did. But again it's, it's Cowboys.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you're not proud of your Cowboys right now. Now.

[Brady Bogan]

Disgusting.

[John Holmberg]

You screwed up our bets last week in a huge way by saying, hey, what if only one guy wins? All the rest of us should pay. Well then Brett wins. The only one on our bet last week. So now we all got to throw 33 bucks his way to cover the hundred dollar bet.

[Brady Bogan]

I still have an issue with it.

[John Holmberg]

I still have an issue with stale Brady. I'm the Jew, of course. And it's going to be pulling teeth.

[Brady Bogan]

I can give you my phone. I don't know how to get the apple money out of here. Jesus Christ.

[John Holmberg]

We all listened last week. Don't act like you get.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I didn't listen to him. He called me fatty.

[John Holmberg]

Well, of course you did. But you heard it, so you did listen. Because you're right.

[David Lee]

He did.

[John Holmberg]

So you heard some of it.

[Brady Bogan]

I do have a little bone to pick. The fact that Brady was going to pick against his Bengals, but. But Brett already did, so you made.

[John Holmberg]

Him take a. I'm never taking any of you to Vegas. You're hindsight losers.

[Brady Bogan]

But we said. But you said.

[John Holmberg]

We lost.

[Brett Vesely]

And Brady's fine.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Pay up.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's not. He's paying, too. And because he sat here and said, all right, fine. Whether he was listening or not, you were in on it, and now you're bitching that you. Well, we. You didn't say anything when the bet was going on.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Just. If you bet against your team, you should pay.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no, no.

[Brett Vesely]

That was on the text.

[John Holmberg]

That wasn't on the air. He's adding more. And I don't mind that one either. I like more bets. It's more fun.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll. We'll keep it simple. If. If you're the only guy gets it right and the other three idiots lose you money, you get money.

[John Holmberg]

I'm the only one losing money here. Let's calm down. But let's. Yeah, but still. I'm. But I'm the one not complaining. Let's keep going.

[Brady Bogan]

You wipe your rear end with 100.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't it great? Yeah. I had a five in my pocket the other day. I burned my. My pants. How embarrassing. What was that doing? Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

Who.

[John Holmberg]

Who put this joke? 1. Do they still make ones? Kidding, of course.

[Brady Bogan]

For pennies.

[John Holmberg]

I'm kidding. I would never have a five in my pants. That was a joke. Everybody, it's time to go down the list and find out what we're picking this week. Your Bears are five and three, looking for six wins in a row.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no, we.

[John Holmberg]

Or is it five?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, we lost the one.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

Last week.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Lost to the Ravens. Oh, that's right. Five out of. Okay, that's right. It was two weeks, but here.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's. I'm sorry. Yeah. Two weeks ago.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's right. I forgot about that. But you got six wins. Staring six wins in the face. Who do you got this week?

[Brett Vesely]

Giants.

[John Holmberg]

In Chicago. In Chicago. The limping Giants taking the Bears to go Sticks and. It's okay, man. That's a tough one for me because they're. They're that team that was lose a game like this.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it's the Bears. It's a crapshoot. Either way, it doesn't matter. But I'm.

[Brady Bogan]

The other thing I think you should throw in there is you should lose double if you pick against your team at home.

[John Holmberg]

Calm down and lose like you did last week. Oh, no, you picked. You picked the Cowboys.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, I did pick the Cowboys week before. You picked.

[Irish Caller]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Who did Cowboys have this week?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow. Hang on, I'm.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I got it. They're on a buy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they're on a buy.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

So you get to pick.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so you get to pick. We'll let you pick the Cardinals and Seahawks.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, well, Seahawks.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Take Seattle. Brady, you have to pick a prop bet because your Bengals are on a buy for your Seahawks and Cardinals.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I gotta go prop bet on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just see why. You just have to pick a guy, pick a touchdown, who's scoring a touchdown, and through the whole game, take your Ohio State boy. Oh, yeah, Marvin. No, the other ninja. Yes, Myth. Ninja.

[Brady Bogan]

The guys, they already got a thousand yards.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Smith Ninja.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I'll go with him.

[John Holmberg]

Intention for a touchdown.

[Brady Bogan]

Way to go out on the ledge.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, yeah, glad I could help that. I said, you got to pick a prop bet. I was like, I gotta.

[Irish Caller]

I gotta build a rocket to the moon.

[John Holmberg]

No, you just have to pick an Ohio State receiver that everybody's talking about. It's easy. That's a simple one. Are you okay with.

[Dale Hella Stray]

With that?

[John Holmberg]

What are you looking at him for? Why are you so confused?

[Dale Hella Stray]

Just tell me where I need to bet.

[Irish Caller]

Well, there we go.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, we're on a time crunch here, Mr. Stares at the walls.

[Dale Hella Stray]

You said I'll pick the Cardinal game.

[John Holmberg]

Well, because I didn't realize the Cowboys were on. On a buy, so I'm actually got a buy, too. That's what my point was, jackass. That's why I gave you the Cardinal game. No, this is Brady being.

[Brady Bogan]

Is he pouting?

[John Holmberg]

Contrarian. Just basically not running with the punches because he realized, okay, Dad's got to pick that pouting. You got to dance on your feet a little bit. I'm good at it. So we gave you the Cardinal game. All you had to do is pick a prop bet. I gave you the easier of the two. It's a chance the Cardinals could shock the Seahawks. Jackson Smith Ninja is going to get one. You know that.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Jamar Chase was going to get one.

[John Holmberg]

We thought so, but you might have put. You might have put the kibosh on. And now you owe Brett 33 bucks, jackass. My Steelers are in Los Angeles against the Chargers, and they Never play well on the road. Statistically horrible. Going out west. On the road. Out west? Yeah. If they go west of St. Louis, it's bad news. Okay, so I'm gonna go ahead and say the Steelers will win this, but I'm taking. I think it's three points. I'm gonna take those points. I think I'm gonna take the point.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah, I have it. Three and a half.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'll take the Steelers in the three and a half. Ah, screw it. I'll go straight up. I'm going straight up. Steelers.

[Brady Bogan]

You gotta go straight up. I mean, otherwise our bet's gonna win is 100 bucks. You're right.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Unknown Band Organizer]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

You're right. I'll knock that.

[Brett Vesely]

What's his bet? Go for it.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't put it in yet, Brady. Did you?

[Dale Hella Stray]

No.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I'll put it in there.

[Brady Bogan]

And fight. Bray's already on. It's a selfish thing.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I've already studied and everything. And the sports guy doesn't know whose team.

[John Holmberg]

God forbid you ask Brady. Hey, do a quick prop bet on that.

[Irish Caller]

Well, that would require knowing some of those guys.

[John Holmberg]

You had two Ohio State players just jump on right. Right away, Marvin and you know the.

[Brady Bogan]

Odds would go up if you took Marvin.

[John Holmberg]

It's true. Do you want to make that change?

[Dale Hella Stray]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You want to go with Jackson Smith? Ninja.

[Brady Bogan]

I, I, I do. I do. Like Pouty Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Pouty Brady is a blast. He thinks, he thinks it's some sort of forceful thing. It's adorably. It's the cutest thing in the world.

[Brady Bogan]

It, it.

[John Holmberg]

See, when you get a little grumpy, we all think the teddy bear is going to rage. And it's so cute.

[Brady Bogan]

The world against him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, so do you just want to go over and poke him in the tummy? You're mad. It's 9:50. We got an entertainment drill coming up. Hopefully that bet hits Brett. Congratulations for being the only winner last week.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Anything else? Anything else in sports you want to cover before I hit the button?

[Brady Bogan]

Did I hear you guys talking about championships in the Valley? Oh, what brought that subject up?

[John Holmberg]

Well, because I was saying it's time to bail out on the Cardinals.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, it's time to bail out on all of them.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

You got your boy again. Questionable tonight. Jalen Green. I don't know what's going on. How many stinking times he could be questioned.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what's going on.

[Brady Bogan]

And then not suit up at 4. 45.

[John Holmberg]

The Suns are. You're Just waiting for them to win it so you can stop watching.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, the thing. The thing about the Suns is if Jalen Green comes back, when he comes back, then that means probably my favorite player, Con Gillespie, is going to get less four times.

[John Holmberg]

But if it's. If. If he pulls out the same number. Numbers. And it's a bigger problem. Jalen Green's better than Colin.

[Brady Bogan]

He's better, but does he play with the same energy? No.

[John Holmberg]

That's enough. Knock it off.

[Brady Bogan]

Who said that in the other room. Oh, there's Dale.

[John Holmberg]

Time. We've got time. You're done here, Dale. We'll do the entertainment drill. Next stop.

[David Lee]

Arizona's most powerful rock radio.

[John Holmberg]

Station, the Said, fully erect.

[David Lee]

Still streaming. Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] temporary felix. I'm saying that all day.

[Brady Bogan]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. We got to do our podcast today, huh, Dale? I forgot about that. It's Thursday. Got a podcast, the world's greatest sports podcast, starring me, John Holmes, on that. And then permanent guest. Dale is a permanent guest. And there are others.

[Brady Bogan]

You can't call it Holmberg and Hella Stray. Or more likely, Heli and Homie.

[David Lee]

Oh, that's super KDKB 93.3.

[John Holmberg]

We could call it Helly Homie Nashi Holmberg. I think that's got a ring to it.

[Brady Bogan]

Or the ego on this guy.

[John Holmberg]

Not ego. I just want people to listen. So the more we mention you, the less that is going to happen.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll say.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg. Actually, you said it last week. Tripp came in, poked his head in right before we started the podcast. And Dale had asked him, was like.

[Brady Bogan]

So how do you think it's going?

[John Holmberg]

Tripp goes, I think it's. I think it's fine. And then he starts to talk about how I'm hosting it, and. And I've taken over, and he's throwing. And Tripp goes, well, if you want someone with talent to lead the show, then that's your option. And then there's you, and then there's the crazy him. And Dave's like, what about me? And he's like, yeah, you're entertaining. But I said, talented. And so he just walked out of the room. And it was a pure assessment. Dale kept trying to say he was the eye candy.

[Brady Bogan]

I am the eye candy. That's why we need to get cameras in there, Johnny.

[John Holmberg]

It's candy.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, immediately, listeners, viewers will go up.

[John Holmberg]

What do they call those things? Warheads. Sour warheads. I think that's the candy we're Talking. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You're.

[John Holmberg]

You're.

[Irish Caller]

I.

[John Holmberg]

Candy corn.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of people like candy Corps candy corn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of old ladies.

[John Holmberg]

Lot of weird old ladies. Gum that candy corn if that's what you're into. Oh, the gumming thing almost sold me. I almost talked myself into that. It's time now for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail]. it's the homo Tactical black. And you can go there. 89 bucks for the month. I was trying to remember the price. 89 bucks for a month is their price. They're rolling it back to that price for their 25th anniversary, which begins in January of 2026. They're getting you all already put that in a stocking. You got to think about that soon. Get it as a gift or get it for yourself. Become a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep and start believing that you are more than you've ever imagined. And you can do it right there on day one. And that price is unbelievable. All the classes they offer. Boom. 89 bucks. You'll get that taste for a month. And I bet you go back for more. It's a beautiful thing. Reactdefense.com the Home Tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[Dale Hella Stray]

There was a mini radio revolt among the Miss Universe contestants on Monday after official insulted the intelligence of one of them, the pageant director. By the way, this year's Miss Universe pageant will take place in Thailand. Oh, so the director is Thai and he insulted Miss Mexico. Fatima Bosch basically called her dumb dummy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wow.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Because he. He asked her to promote the host country, which was Thailand.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[Dale Hella Stray]

She didn't do a good job.

[John Holmberg]

She didn't like it there.

[Dale Hella Stray]

You need to do a better job if you're going to compete in this pageant, dummy. And kind of rift her. So she got up with some other lady contestants and they started to walk out. He put out an apology.

[John Holmberg]

Is she hot enough to be snotty? That picture not in that photo. Jeez. Oh, she wasn't gonna win anyway. She's a dummy for thinking she had a chance.

[Irish Caller]

But you think you're gonna win this contest looking like you, you dumb. You dummy.

[John Holmberg]

And she's like, hey, I'm gonna win.

[Irish Caller]

This show, eh, player?

[John Holmberg]

I miss Mexico.

[Irish Caller]

I swam all the way to Thailand.

[John Holmberg]

To win the this.

[Brady Bogan]

I told you that teammate of mine in Buffalo who was. Who said he's dating Miss Nebraska. Oh, and we're all excited to meet her when she came up to visit. I won't name names.

[John Holmberg]

Ms. Nebraska 1987.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. It was 19.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we can look her up there.

[David Lee]

There's an Internet.

[Brady Bogan]

85 or 86. And. And she came up and we met her. Yeah. And I said, I. I don't even know if you could be Ms. Scottsdale.

[John Holmberg]

You told her that?

[Brady Bogan]

No, I thought that. John, I'm not you. I wouldn't have done that.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

If you give me a name.

[Brett Vesely]

Mindy Zimmerman.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, that's 87.

[Brady Bogan]

I know. It's probably 85. 84 or 85.

[John Holmberg]

Ms. Nebraska. And you didn't think she was good looking?

[Brady Bogan]

No. She's short.

[Brett Vesely]

Julie Pasty Musburger.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. You're looking live at my daughter.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, you're just looking. Okay. I, I could tell. But anyway, it's interesting how some of these girls like. Again, she wouldn't have been top 10, Ms. Scottsdale.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

Back in.

[John Holmberg]

In the early 80s, even today. Is that her? Let Lori.

[Brady Bogan]

No. How about 80 go 83? 84.

[John Holmberg]

Are you sure it's Nebraska?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, well, that's where the. Where the guy's from.

[John Holmberg]

He said, is that her? Ugh, those are all Miss Nebraska's. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Ms. Nebraska knocks your socks off. Is that her? 83.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Kristen. Man, that's a dude.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, is it Kristen something?

[Brady Bogan]

Dale. It might be crisp. Kristen sounds familiar.

[John Holmberg]

This is it. This we found. Founder Kristen Lowenberg.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Olsen. Oh, that's.

[John Holmberg]

Remember, tonight is kind of special. The beer will pull. What's with the lesbian hair?

[Brady Bogan]

I I. That was the style back then. Johnny.

[David Lee]

Let it be.

[John Holmberg]

Lowenburg.

[Brett Vesely]

Did she have that hair?

[Brady Bogan]

I remember her hair being blonde when I met her, but she's obviously made up in this.

[John Holmberg]

Was she running away like most women? So you only got to look at her for a second. From mine.

[Brady Bogan]

She was dating one of my linemen. Me. We're out to dinner. Couldn't run away.

[John Holmberg]

No way. All right, we'll go with that one. It's a good story, Dale.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah, well, don't get it confused. The next story. Miss Piggy might be getting her own movie finally for the month. And it looks like Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone are producing it.

[John Holmberg]

Cool. Some money.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Most likely will be the stars in it. To the voices.

[John Holmberg]

Miss Piggy deserts her own shot. She's very funny. Miss Piggy's look. You can say it's a kid.

[Brady Bogan]

Are you being serious, Miss Piggy?

[John Holmberg]

Frank Oz as Miss Piggy was always subtly and nuanced. Dirty, hilarious. Go back and watch an old Muppet show and occasionally watch Miss Piggy tell a joke and then walk off you're like, that was, that was a punch.

[Brady Bogan]

You are a walking conundrum.

[John Holmberg]

Piggy threw a shot there.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought, oh, k me.

[John Holmberg]

She was always all sexy up. It was dirty Miss Piggy. She was. She was always juiced up. She's a moist ham. Brady's getting hard.

[Irish Caller]

I need her.

[John Holmberg]

I know, I know, I know.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Oprah's favorite of her annual favorite things was just rolled out for the Christmas season. One of the things that she liked was a two thousand dollar espresso machine and a indoor pizza oven made by uni, which is about 700 bucks. Dale has another Christmas list to announce.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, Dale, what's your Christmas list?

[Brady Bogan]

Is it Oprah's Gwyneth Paltrow's goop holiday gift guy?

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't know what this is and it's gonna, it's gonna hit you. Go ahead.

[Dale Hella Stray]

What are some of the items?

[Brady Bogan]

Includes six vibrators. Johnny, what's a vibrator?

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, the thing that. It's the thing that puts in your mouth.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Yeah. Don't chip your teeth out.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow, wow, wow.

[John Holmberg]

So she gets some enjoyment.

[Brady Bogan]

It's that time of year again, John. For Gwyneth Paltrow's goop holiday gift guide. Like how would you even know about this?

[Unknown Band Organizer]

Goop.

[Brady Bogan]

Puts this out. How would you know that?

[John Holmberg]

I'm aware and I read and the world happens and I pay attention.

[Brady Bogan]

Holiday gift guide. It includes six vibrators, which is six more than you'll find on Oprah's favorite things list. Some of the other naughty things list includes $195 sex pillow.

[John Holmberg]

What's that? That's a good one.

[Dale Hella Stray]

For brook Stocking stuffer.

[John Holmberg]

Is it with the pillow or.

[Brady Bogan]

It says for pillow. And twelve eighty five dollar kinky advent calendar that comes with a paddle, handcuff, wristlets and a restraint tape.

[John Holmberg]

Do you ever get handcuffed and paddled? No. Why not?

[Brady Bogan]

I. I got, I got, I got issues with that.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Brady Bogan]

I got claustrophobia if you tie my hands together. That's like being claustrophobic.

[John Holmberg]

You don't like that?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Get handcuffed?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, sure. Been paddled.

[John Holmberg]

I love it.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, not from your dad.

[John Holmberg]

Whoever wants to paddle, I'm in. If you're a paddler, I'm getting paddled. I got no beef with that. That's great.

[Brady Bogan]

Other highlights includes a orgasm balm. Oh, massage oil. Candle. Yes. It's a wax melt. It turns into a massage oil. Intimacy chocolates.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Good stuff on.

[John Holmberg]

What's the last one?

[Brady Bogan]

A pelvic. Clock. Exercise device. I have no.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that would be. I would imagine, something that goes.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Velvet clock. She needs two hands and a face.

[John Holmberg]

All right, all right.

[Brady Bogan]

So. So the most expensive thing on the list is a gold and diamond chain bracelet for $39,800.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty nice.

[Brady Bogan]

And the cheapest thing, John, is a $12 bottle of OG Hot Girl Chili oil. Yeah, why don't you. That could be a stocky.

[John Holmberg]

The pelvic clock, I'm guessing, is something that you carry that goes off and running. Reminds you to do your kegels.

[Brady Bogan]

You're guessing that?

[David Lee]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You put that in there.

[Brady Bogan]

Does it go inside you?

[John Holmberg]

Probably. And then it goes. And then you got to squeeze it. Oh, no, there it is. Oh, no, it's underneath the bag. Oh, it's on a clock at all. And you just roll it and do some, like, exercises. Hip exercises. Yeah, but. Yeah, but why do you need a. Like, that's just an alarm on your.

[Dale Hella Stray]

Phone timer where it zaps.

[Brady Bogan]

You use your iPhone for that.

[John Holmberg]

Something's in there. Like. Oh, and then you tighten up and your pelvis gets tight. All right. That's pretty good stuff.

[David Lee]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She has candles that are scented, like her vagina. The Gwyneth, pal. That's why I know about Goop, their company.

[Brady Bogan]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You have a lot of time.

[John Holmberg]

Whole house can smell like hush puppies if you want. Or Long John Silver's kitchen. Let's go home.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

That's it, Dale. Thank you very much. Dale's here. We got our fanduel bed in. Everything's covered. Nobody's doing anything tonight. You're going anywhere. No, we're all good.

[Brett Vesely]

Not tonight.

[John Holmberg]

All right, we're all clear. Larry's gonna try to give you $3,000. Listen to Larry. Fine. Exactly. Find out how you can do that through the excellent adventure with Larry and Valley Toyota dealers. We're done. We're out of here. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Right here in the morning Sickness, Arizona's.

[David Lee]

Most powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

He said fully erect.

[Dale Hella Stray]

I'm Mike King from the podcast Profiling Evil. A place where true crime meets behavioral science. I spent my career investigating serial predators and studying the psychology behind them. Here, we don't just talk about what criminals did. We explore why they do what they do. We expose manipulation and control, look at how offenders select their victims and uncover the ways that they try to avoid detection. You can find Profiling Evil on your favorite podcast platform.