Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show

Episode: 11-06-25 – FULL SHOW – THURSDAY

Date: November 6, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Overview

This Thursday’s episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness captures the show's classic blend of Arizona sports disillusionment, irreverent comedy, and offbeat deep-dives into both news and personal stories. John Holmberg and crew spend much of the first hour lampooning the Arizona Cardinals’ dysfunction, delighting in the camaraderie (and miseries) of long-suffering sports fandom, then pivot to wild news items, viral stories, and R-rated pop culture commentary—with plenty of outrageous tangents along the way.

Tone: Highly irreverent, sarcastic, brash, candid, with genuine moments of empathy.

Key Segments & Discussion Highlights

1. Beautiful Arizona Mornings & the “Beaver Moon” (02:00-03:20)

• John sets a positive tone about Arizona’s gorgeous mornings, encouraging listeners to appreciate the landscape.
• Quote: “Look around and just go, you know what? This ain't so bad. I'm gonna make today better. Gosh. I'm motivational when the weather's right!” – John (02:25)

2. Arizona Cardinals Drama & QB Breakdown (03:20-16:50)

The Kyler Murray / Cardinals Saga

• Kyler Murray unexpectedly placed on “emotional IR”; speculation that the team is benching him for non-injury reasons.
• John is convinced the franchise tried to trade Murray but found no takers and is now “preserving” him to avoid drama.
• Suggests the Cardinals are prepping for “The Keaton Slovis Era” (third-string QB) after predicting Jacoby Brissett will inevitably get hurt against the Seahawks.
• Riffs on why fans are so loyal to franchises that bring them little joy—suggests fans should feel free to quit.
• Lavishes sarcasm on the Cardinals’ dysfunction as a franchise, likening sports loyalty to staying in a bad relationship.

Quote:
"Why are we so loyal? That stick giant. Nobody's ever stuck a sticker of their wife on the back of their car. But some guys will wreck brand new cars with humongous logos of their favorite football team." – John Holmberg (08:15)

Sports Loyalty Analogies

• Multiple, extended analogies comparing bad sports teams to bad relationships ("a fat pig who hasn't worked out in years"), calling the loyalty toxic.
• Quote: “The Cardinals are a big, fat woman who's not even combing her hair anymore.” – John (10:37)

3. Masculinity, Relationships & Pop Culture Confessions (16:50-33:59)

Viral Story: The Matt Khalil Divorce Tale

• Deep-dive into viral podcast interview where Matt Khalil’s ex-wife cites his “three Coke cans”-sized member as the reason for divorce.
• Crew riffs on what it would be like for your ex to publicly announce that as the reason—turns into a roundtable of bravado and self-deprecation.
• Pop culture digression: Kim Kardashian’s rumored attraction to “big energy” men and Pete Davidson, plus references to Tom Jones, Elvira, and the mythos of celebrity endowments.
• Extended, bawdy storytelling with mutual ribbing.

Quote:
"If there's been a divorce in history that's better, I haven't seen it." – John (17:50)

Social Media & Celebrity Relationships

• Joking about Kim Kardashian being on the prowl for men with a certain reputation; riffs on how rumors can snowball and draw in media attention.

4. News of the Weird: Irish Lion Sighting (37:41-46:57)

• John covers a story from Ireland where a mass of drunk locals mistake a Newfoundland dog for a loose lion.
• Multiple fake Irish call-in bits, lampooning Irish drinking culture and the subsequent chaos for local police.
• Points out how "news" is often just oddball viral content and how much of it is fueled by drunken misperception.

Quote:
“No one should ever take an Irishman seriously when they see a wild beast, because they're wrong. Their eyes are playing tricks on them.” – John (39:56)

5. Wedding Traditions, Gender & Body Image Satire (57:01-63:56)

• Roasts the logic and desperation behind bouquet and garter traditions at weddings.
• Lively analogies comparing bridesmaids fighting for the bouquet to moonwater “crystal” rituals and sports fandom.
• Sarcasm about body positivity, social desperation, and even the playlist/fat shaming at wedding dances.
• Mocking of the “garter belt” routine and its awkwardness for parents.

Quote:
"I've seen broads like bang into each other and stuff... they fight to catch it because they think it has, like, meaning. It has nothing. There's nothing to it. It's silly." – John (60:10)

6. Arizona Sports Championships & Local Fandom (50:51-56:20)

• Returns to theme of “loyalty to lousy franchises.” Points out that WNBA’s Phoenix Mercury have more titles than the Cardinals or any other local team, sparking riffs about what counts as a real title.
• Listeners and hosts trade barbs over what teams “count” for bragging rights—arena football, WNBA, community college.

7. Difficult Headlines: Tragic Family Story & Justice (69:01-81:24)

• Somber discussion of a tragic Arizona news story: a father who left his child in a hot car, resulting in her death, then later died by suicide before sentencing.
• John and the team wrestle with the ethics and ramifications when the remaining family expresses support for the father, examining what justice "looks like" in heart-wrenching circumstances.
• Crew maintains empathy while fielding tough listener emails.
• The rare, serious segment for this show.

Quote:
"I literally watched that, and I'm like, he shouldn't have gone to jail. If the wife's okay with it, if the mother of that child is like, look, I want him back... Who are we to say, I'll throw him in the joint?" – John (78:58)

8. NFL Ownership Accountability: Radical Fixes for Bad Franchises (83:01-88:19)

• John proposes a tongue-in-cheek system where fans could “vote out” NFL owners after X years of futility (no winning seasons or playoff appearances).
• Riffing on the injustice of unaccountable ownership and endless fan suffering (especially targeting the Cardinals, Bears, Browns, Jets).
• Imagines a dystopian competitive system where owners have to sell after repeated failure.

Quote:
“If you go seven years without a winning season, you should have to sell.” – John (84:06)

9. The Brady Report – Offbeat News & Etiquette (95:26-114:10)

• “Brady Report” delivers oddities: Maine health care system mailing death notices to living patients; the origin of “cyberspace;” inappropriate DJ behavior at weddings; copes with listeners’ jokes and soundbites from David Lee.
• More local color: listeners text in stories about Arizona wedding mishaps, expanding on earlier rants.
• Includes radio videos with dark humor: wedding fails, injuries, viral moments.

10. Sports Roundup with Dale Hellestrae (133:30–167:15)

Key Segments:

• Sports highlight and banter, especially about Cardinals’ locker-room drama and Kyler Murray’s tenure.
• Dale and John dissect Cowboys’ long-term culture issues, blaming Jerry Jones and the franchise’s soft/glamorous environment for lack of recent success.
• More local sports commiseration and fanduel bets for the week—trash talking and self-deprecating jokes throughout.
• Final discussion on upcoming local band contest “Playdio,” with Brett grumbling about having to listen to bad amateur music.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Bits

• On Arizona's scenery:
  “Don’t forget where you’re at, because it is. Absolutely. And you may be having a bad day, but look around and just go, you know what? This ain’t so bad. I’m gonna make today better.” – John (02:30)

• On Cards fan loyalty:
  “You don’t owe them anything… If they’ve never given you any joy, why are you still there?” – John (08:40)

• On comparing sports to relationships:
  “If you catch the bouquet, you win a treadmill. I want a man. Well, the reason you don't have one is because you don't have a treadmill. We're doing you two favors.” – John (59:13)

• On NFL Owner Thermonuclear Plan:
  “We should have some sort of way to neuter [owners] as owners and say you’re forced to sell the team. If, in fact, in seven years you have not hit every one of the... Like playoffs, second round...” – John (83:57)

• On Matt Khalil’s divorce legend:
  “If there’s been a divorce in history that’s better, I haven’t seen it.” – John (17:49)

Timestamp Guide

| Segment | Timestamp | |-------------------------------------|-------------| | Arizona mornings, “Beaver Moon” | 02:00–03:20 | | Cardinals Drama (Kyler IR/Slovis) | 03:20–16:50 | | Masculinity & Divorce Tales | 16:50–33:59 | | Irish “Loose Lion” Sighting | 37:41–46:57 | | Wedding Traditions Roast | 57:01–63:56 | | Local Sports Fandom, Title Debate | 50:51–56:20 | | Difficult Arizona News (Car Tragedy)| 69:01–81:24 | | NFL Owner “Ejection” Theory | 83:01–88:19 | | The Brady Report (News & Jokes) | 95:26–114:10| | Sports Roundup w/ Dale Hellistrate | 133:30–167:15|

Takeaways

• The show is at its sharpest bouncing from bleak Arizona sports reality to R-rated comedy, with listeners’ pain as both muse and target.
• Moments of real empathy (“law by feelings”) set against constant sarcasm.
• The hosts rely on personal stories and radical analogies to make their points relatable—whether skewering bad sports teams or commiserating over tough news.

Ideal for: Listeners who want local Arizona sports takes blended with dark, adult humor and rapid-fire banter; fans who tolerate NSFW personal stories; anyone seeking cathartic commiseration over being a long-suffering fan.