11-07-25 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Nov 7, 2025 – FULL SHOW Summary

Episode Overview

Theme:
A signature blend of irreverent comedy, personal stories, Arizona happenings, and listener interactions. The crew—John Holmberg (host), Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo—riff on everything from emotional listener emails and celebrity mishaps to local events and car talk, keeping the humor front and center while occasionally veering into heartwarming honesty.

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Key Segments & Highlights

1. Listener Email: Early Onset Alzheimer’s (05:00–14:00)

• Content: John reads a touching email from a listener, Vince, who was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s at 44 and credits John's show for making him laugh during a tough time.
• Discussion:
  • John is moved but comically uncomfortable with this emotional responsibility:
    "I show up here every day and just goof around... Now I'm gonna want to go know you and hang out and talk to you and maybe end up, you know, cleaning your body... Vince, it's too much pressure on me for this." (04:40)
  • The team riff on disease diagnosis, the pressures of meaning, and how jokes can impact listeners beyond their intention.
  • Recaps other memorable listeners (ALS Matt, Gary and the neighbor drama).
  • Hilarious, if dark, speculation about sex and memory loss:
    • Brady: "Does that mean when you got Alzheimer's, you can go around banging all you want because you don't remember?" (11:21)
      • John: "That's exactly right. That's how it's. A lot of times guys abuse it for that." (11:22)
  • Brady tries to lighten the mood: "Just gotta embrace it. Patch Adams." (08:11)
  • John resists: "I'm not Patch Adams. I don't like my words to have meaning..." (08:13)

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2. Comedy from Real Life: Rah Rah Room, TV’s Doug Hopkins, and Friendship (16:10–21:00)

• Story: John tells a story from the previous night at the Rah Rah Room:
  • Friend Dorsey/Dean's name change: Humor in introducing a friend now using his middle name.
  • Waitress wants to come on the podcast to ‘flame her boyfriend’ (16:12). The guys agree sad waitresses ruin the bar vibe.
  • TV’s Doug Hopkins incident: Someone thought John was Doug’s son in commercials, despite Doug being just a year older (18:15). Both are hilariously annoyed.
    • "Some guy thought you were my son in those commercials. ... That's because not. I look good. You look horrible." (18:35)
    • Brady: "It's a 20 year gap." (19:14)
    • John: "I'm gonna show up at the door. Dad!" (19:15)
  • John aims to ride this joke on future commercials—“Hopkins and Son.”

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3. Strange Friendship Dynamics & “Suspicious Relationships” (24:10–26:54)

• Odd Suns Game Pairing:
  • John reacts to a 50-year-old friend bringing his best friend’s daughter’s ex-boyfriend (a much younger guy) to a game and then the Rah Rah Room.
  • John teases the scenario wildly:
    • "I'm like, you look like you're boy-stealing." (24:19)
    • Even jokes about himself and Doug Hopkins being perceived as couple.
  • Themes: Generation gap awkwardness, bromance jokes, and social expectations.

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4. More Audience Interaction, “Meaningfulness” Anxiety, and Hand Modeling Aspirations (27:25–34:00)

• John’s struggle with audience vulnerability:
  • "I am an emotional, empathetic human being. Ew. I don't want to be that. I like not being that. But I have feelings." (27:25)
• Hand model rabbit hole: John sees an article about hand modeling (“$3K/day!”) and momentarily aspires to it:
  • "My left hand is an 8. My right hand... I've busted up..." (31:23)
  • Brady: Suggests “Knight Rider Jewelry” for rugged modeling gigs.

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5. Celebrity & Listener Drama: Antonio Brown, Ralphie May, and Inevitable Downfalls (34:00–39:32)

• Antonio Brown Legal Trouble:
  • John reflects on how Brown’s arrest for attempted murder “was inevitable,” echoing similar predictions with his late friend comedian Ralphie May’s passing.
  • "Ralphie May was my first friend I knew was gonna die. I knew why he was gonna die and how he was gonna die. I knew it." (34:52)
  • Discussion on “parlaying” big events for celebrities of declining health/mental state.

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6. Local Music, Miss Chile, and Metal: Palladio & Ignacia Fernandez (43:10–52:00)

• Palladio Contest: Local band contest updates; discussion on Miles to Nowhere, notable past winners, and amusing band names.
• Wild segue: Discovery of Ignacia Fernandez—a Miss Chile finalist who’s also a death metal singer.
  • Much ogling from the crew; heated debate on whether she has “enough ass,” with Brett (and John) launching into a detailed, comedic breakdown of women's Instagram poses and anatomy (50:00+).
  • Quote: "A girl with a nice ass always shows you that ass. Every picture, they're looking over their shoulder. They lead with it." (51:55)
  • The team spiral into a cultural analysis of butts, Instagram, celebrity body types, and Taylor Swift.

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7. Car Talk: Ford Bronco Faux Engine Noises (60:00–72:00)

• John buys a new Ford Bronco:
  • Comedy ensues when he (and Brett) discover the fake, deafening engine roar piped into the interior—purely for the driver’s ego:
    • "It's not happening outside at all. It's totally quiet outside. In the car, it's deafeningly dumb." (62:43)
  • Debate: The absurdity and “douchebag trim package” of automaker sound design.
  • John: "That's a fantasy car. In my car, the engine isn't that huge." (64:39)
  • Joking about customizing it:
    • "Every time I step on the gas, two giant cans inflate on the dashboard. I get to squeeze them for a second..."* (67:19)
  • Tech talk: You can “for scan” software to disable the fake noise.

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8. Wake Up Song and Action Ride Shop Promo (76:27–79:18)

• Wake Up Song picks: Playful banter as the crew shouts out local bike shop promotions and muses on “douchebaggery” in auto accessories.
• Song Request for Doug Hopkins: “Cats in the Cradle” for Doug Hopkins and John, furthering the “father/son” joke. (79:18)
• "That bothered Doug quite a bit. And it should, because it's not like he's looking at me saying, man, that guy looks like he's in his 20s. Nope. It just made him older." (79:19)

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9. Harlan Williams In Studio (115:30–144:17)

(The Harlan Williams block—some of the densest comedic energy in the show.)

• Gig Report: Stories from his Tempe Improv set, including a nose-shooting audience member (!).
• Is Harlan a billionaire? John brings up a rumor that Harlan is now absurdly rich. Harlan denies it (“I’m not a billionaire by any means. No.” (118:49)), but describes his billionaire fantasy: buying a vintage movie theater, seating it with animatronic mannequins, and having mannequin ushers.
• Movie project: Harlan details his new film “Wingman,” a comedy about a professional wingman with bizarre methods (e.g., using an albino koala to attract women) (136:42–139:07).
• Absurd wordplay & segment:
  • Long tangent about "eating commas," Canadian vs. American brackets/parentheses, sea cucumbers as exclamation points, etc. (132:27–135:09)
  • Words of wisdom: "Live life, don't let life live you." (143:56)
• “Closest you’ve come to getting AIDS?” Incredible segment: Harlan riffs on movie-AIDS from touching Tom Hanks (131:10+) and invents the “AIDS vampire”—a running bit.

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10. Brady Report, Science News, and Local Blues (83:00–114:17)

• Cancer Awareness Day, fun facts, and NFL trivia: Musings on football kickers and MVPs, favorite Thanksgiving sides, etc.
• More true crime/oddity stories: From cashless bank robbers and naked chainsaw neighbors to a German couple caught having highway sex.
• Science News:
  • Comet “Three Eye Atlas” possibly being “jet-propelled” and could be aliens (95:01+).
  • More jokes about aliens targeting the sun to destroy Earth.
• Viral TikTok ‘health hack’—3 by 3 by 12pm: Three “minigoals” (steps, water, protein) before lunch.

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11. Guadalupe Squares & Show Close (157:28–end)

• The Guadalupe Squares: Signature segment—a raucous Arizona-style “Hollywood Squares” with meta-humor, celebrity impressions (Trump, Shatner, etc.), local references, and live calls.
  • Square content includes: David Lee (conspiracy theories), Jimmy Fallon, OJ Simpson, Gordon Ramsay, Alien Fighter Brady, and more.
• Prizes: Tickets to see William Shatner.
• Closing absurdity:
  • Cows with accents, leftover jokes from earlier, another round of “Corey Feldman planet” jokes, and light ribbing of women’s volleyball radio broadcasts.
  • John: “Not one. Am I right? We get some. Hit the mic. In the middle of the whole game… [crickets].” (181:40)

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• John, on Vince’s emotional email:
  "I'm glad you're gonna forget that I say this, but come on, man... I can't know this is out there. Now I'm gonna want to go know you and hang out and talk to you and maybe end up, you know, cleaning your body..." (04:40)

• On being Patch Adams:
  Brady: "Just gotta embrace it. Patch Adams." (08:11)
  John: "I'm not Patch Adams. Stop it. I am not Patch Adams. I don't like my words to have meaning…" (08:13)

• On Ford Bronco’s fake engine sound:
  "It's not happening outside at all. It's totally quiet outside. In the car, it's deafeningly dumb." (62:43)

• On influencer/brand relationships:
  "I see him every day. And we got through that with flippant nonsense and laughs. And that's how you do it. Can't take that responsibility." (34:00)

• On Miss Chile/Death Metal Singer:
  "A girl with a nice ass always shows you that ass. Every picture, they're looking over their shoulder. They lead with it…" (51:55)

• Harlan Williams, on his billionaire fantasy:
  "I would buy like a vintage movie theater... I'd get mannequins. I'd put mannequins in the seats. Some animatronics. So at some points, maybe some get up and go somewhere. Some of them clap. Celebrity mannequins. And then I'd have maybe like two aisles empty for friends and family." (121:02)

• John, words of wisdom:
  "Live life, don't let life live you." (143:56)

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Episode Tone

• Language: Energetic, irreverent, self-deprecating humor with moments of real empathy.
• Vibe: A rollercoaster between goofy, raunchy “morning zoo”-style gags, local news stories, and genuinely touching audience interactions—often with John playfully rejecting any heartfelt feedback, all while subtly reinforcing community connection.
• Pace: Fast, with frequent tangents and callbacks. Joyful willingness to explore whatever topic emerges—be it pop culture, listener lives, or the inside of a Ford Bronco.

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For Listeners Who Missed It:
You’ll get outrageous laughs, a touch of heart, a vivid sense of Arizona, and the feeling you’re part of the banter at Holmberg’s table—whether you’re here for the crude jokes, the local flavor, or just for the way these guys can riff on anything and make it engaging.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Harlan Williams]

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[John Holmberg]

Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving Southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Brady Bogan]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone.

[Harlan Williams]

Who can't legally own one.

[Brady Bogan]

Tell him not to put himself at.

[John Holmberg]

Risk and come into M and P.

[Brady Bogan]

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[John Holmberg]

And he can rest easy knowing it's.

[Brady Bogan]

Not getting into the wrong hands.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state? Easy.

[Brady Bogan]

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[John Holmberg]

It's really that simple. There you have it. MMP gun guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms. It's John Holmer here from my friends at New Vision Auto Glass. Six weeks and counting. My windshield is still perfect. Call New Vision Auto Glass and after about 15 minutes on the phone, you'll get everything you need. You can get up to $375 back. Visit new visionautoglass.com to see what you qualify for. Then you get that delicious free dinner from the world famous Brazilian steakhouse Rhodesio Grill, now in Mesa and their new Location in Scottsdale. There's no excuse for you not to have a good piece of glass on that car. I don't want to hear it. Pick up the phone and fix it. 480-210-9. 9090 New Vision Auto Glass, proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondbacks. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Friday. It is 5:45 this. It's the morning sickness. My name is John Holmberg. How the heck are you? There's Brady, there's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. And we are off and running in a glorious way towards the weekend. And of course, we've got our chances to win $1,000 every single hour of the day. Let me open up my book to make sure I don't screw you guys. Remember what I'm doing. There we go. All right. Yeah, we'll have the six o' clock word. And just a little bit, just moments from now and get you all started off. Guys, I have to let you know that we're. We've got responsibilities. What? I don't like having responsibilities. Reason I got into this business, I like being a professional jackass for a living where people don't. Well, we're not like, you know, altering lives or anything. Not a doctor. Went to school for seven years, but I'm not a doctor. Got an email from this guy, and it just punches you in the guts and then also makes you go, ah, great. Human beings says dear John. I just want to let you know that you are the first person who made me laugh after being diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. I'm 44. I didn't know that was a thing. You can get it at 44. Isn't it like getting SIDS in your 20s? Man, I can't believe my situation is real. But still, here I am. When I got the diagnosis, I broke down completely. I didn't think I'd have anything to look forward to ever again. But you got me in the best way ever. When you did the Irish guy calling the cops about the lion dog and that whole nonsense thing you were doing, I just thought, man, I can still enjoy myself. I actually laughed in my car out loud. You were also the last person to make me laugh out loud very hard when you did the whole thing. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Dip McCullough. I think he said McCallops. He says McCullough. I don't remember. I don't really remember Dip name too much. But he was. That was A fun. That was a fun character. So I'm glad that helped. You said your last person make me laugh because that was the day I went in to get all my tests and ended up finding out a couple days later what was going on. So I guess I'm going to lean on you and also let you know, you guys are so much more than fart jokes. You actually make people who are in big trouble feel better about their lives. Signed, Vince. Well, Vince, I don't need this kind of pressure. I'm glad you're gonna forget that I say this, but come on, man. I show up here every day and just goof around. If Brady and Brett laugh, that's a successful day. And then the ratings come out, and hopefully those are good, too. But I don't. I can't know this is out there. Now I'm gonna want to go know you and hang out and talk to you and maybe end up, you know, cleaning your body and all. I. Vince, it's too much pressure on me for this. I know you're going through a lot, but think of me. That's too much to put on this show. I'm looking at Brady. He's got his own problems. I. Brett's got his own things going on. I'm living a carefree, happy existence here.

[Brady Bogan]

I do like this part about cleaning my body.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I'm not. I didn't ever say that to you. If you get dementia, I'm just going to stand nearby and tell you I cleaned your body, and you're going to think. And then I'm going to go out, and then we're going to go out to Mongolian barbecue, and you're going to have a pant load, and you won't even know it.

[Brady Bogan]

Mash it down.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm just going to have you squashed down on your own while you're pushing more barbecue into that belly. Well, Vince, I'm sorry you're going through that, but what you've done is nightmare fuel. I had no idea there was such a thing as early onset Alzheimer's. And you're 44. I'm very sorry you're going through that. The good news is maybe AI will solve this problem. And then you. You know, it is wild when you get.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like the second or third time I've heard that diagnosis.

[John Holmberg]

Early onset Alzheimer's.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And they.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. They've told you this three times. Keep forgetting your diagnosis. I've had it for 20 years. They just keep giving it to me.

[Brady Bogan]

But Someone has it. And right now the signs aren't there. It's just going to happen. It just.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they're predisposed to. Yeah, this. I think the. Early on. I think when they diagnose you and you go get tests, you've got stuff going on. I don't think that's one of those, hey, guess what you're going to have. I would assume if they diagnose you, they can tell you. They can tell you have a propensity or a. You're more likely to get that. So you can watch out for some things and maybe kind of slow the process, but yuck. Nobody likes. This is terrible.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a mind screw.

[John Holmberg]

It sure is. David lee here from 98 KPD. You know what caused this? The jab and the commie left. Yeah, all right, Dave. Sorry. I forgot he was political. Anyway, Vince, I don't even know how to answer that. And now you. Now there's pressure to be funny. So when you're trying to be funny, you're not. And now you're gonna sit there with Alzheimer's and go, they're not making me laugh today. Things suck again and we have an off day. Good Lord. For Vince's sake, let's just read it again. Because he probably doesn't know I actually read it the first time. Dear John now, anyway, if you've got a terrible, debilitating disease and we've made you laugh, I enjoy. Just keep it to yourself. I can't. I can't take that kind of. I can't take that kind of life. There's. It's very. You think it's nice for me to hear. I hate it. I don't. It means that something means something, and I don't like that. I like nihilism with my funny. Because then. And that. You know what this does? This means that when people complain about something that I said, they're right, too, you know? Because if you can say, oh, I made a guy laugh who had, early on said Alzheimer's, that makes me important in words. And then. So if I say something that somebody's like, oh, I've got two daughters with. Early on, you were making fun of that. I'm like, oh, no. And then. So that makes. Everything has meaning, and I hate that.

[Brady Bogan]

Just gotta embrace it. Patch Adams.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not Patch Adams. Stop it. I am not Patch Adams. I don't like my words to have meaning. They don't. Everything I say is sort of stupid and meant for, you know, novelty purposes only. Please, no wagering Vince, I'm sorry for you, buddy, but I don't know what else to do now. I don't. How do you be funny after Vince? The first email you read of the day is, vince has early onset Alzheimer's and keep it up, buddy, or I'm gonna be in the abyss of darkness forever. Unless you're hilarious. So I gotta. I gotta come up with things like dip McAllister every day till Vince can't turn. Remember how to turn a radio on? Drunk Irishman too. Like. Yeah, that was kind of a fun one. That was pretty. That was pretty fun. You know, they thought a dog was a lion and they're all drunk. We knew that it was fun. Yeah, said some bitch. We got us a new Gary. That's true. Jordan says ask him how his wife's doing, Dan. Damn you, Jordan. Hopefully his wife doesn't do well. We have als, Matt. I haven't heard from him for a while. I seen him at the three days. Oh, thank God he's still around. Although that was a month or two ago. So. Als, Matt. We had Gary, whose wife started boning the neighbor. Gary's wife's a whore. Gary's wife's a whore husband. Gary, who's no longer with us.

[Brady Bogan]

His.

[John Holmberg]

Was it Gary that emailed originally and then his friend took over because Gary got too sick to email and. Yeah, I think it was Gary.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Come on.

[John Holmberg]

She was bone with the guy from Texas, right? No, that was. I was different. Als, Matt.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. His wife straight. Yes. When he. When he was.

[Brady Bogan]

Get your fried chick.

[John Holmberg]

His first diagnosis. Get your chicken fried steak and a blowjob from. From that guy's wife because, well, that just turned into a nightmare as well. Oh, it was the neighbor. The neighbor was Gary. Gary's. Gary's. Gary went on.

[Brady Bogan]

Saved his life.

[John Holmberg]

The only reason I remember this is because it's from Breaking Bad. Gary went in a fugue state, started wander around the neighborhood and ran into the neighbor who happened to be in his driveway, not the neighbor's driveway, and Gary's driver. Right. And Gary left the house. I thought, I'm being around with his head hurting and there's the neighbors, like in his yard. He's like, what are you doing, Gary? It's like, I don't know, starts to pass out or whatever. And then they took him to the hospital. The neighbor was the hero. But what he didn't realize was until later that the neighbor was standing in the front yard to flag down Gary's whore wife when she came home to say Pull the car into my house.

[Brady Bogan]

Coast is clear.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Gary's inside sleeping because he's got his problems. Yeah, I guess he'd already had his diagnosis. And the neighbor was going to climb in the. Gary's whore wife's car, and they were going to drive down and have whore wife sex in her ultima and then come back to Gary's brain cancer like nothing had ever happened. But she got sloppy. Vince, I hope you're not married, for God's sakes. And if you are, good thing about Alzheimer's is you won't even remember any of this happening. Yeah. Now we got us a new Gary, boys, and his name is Vince. Keep us up to date, for Christ's sake. Does that mean when you got Alzheimer's, you can go around banging all you want because you don't remember?

[Brady Bogan]

It's not cheating.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. That's how it's. A lot of times guys abuse it for that. All right? Sometimes you're like, I'm sorry. I got the alts. I don't know what to do.

[Brady Bogan]

Who are you?

[John Holmberg]

Well, then you remembered to call her and tell her you're on your way. It's a weird disease. Comes and goes. Really. I think doctors can't explain it. You are 34 years old, Roger. Yeah, and I got that Alzheimer's. It's. It's gonna be a long road. Doctor said this could go on for years and years and years. Anyway, hopefully you stick around for it, because you'd be a bitch to leave, you know? That's brutal.

[Brady Bogan]

I still love you, Mar. It's Mary.

[John Holmberg]

This guy says, in addition. In addition to the drunk Irish call uber political, David Lee stuff was hilarious, too. Also, can't go wrong with Father Dale stories or Ron Wolfley's impression. That'll keep the old Alzheimer boy happy. Thanks, Doug. Yeah, I suppose that's true. We'll just keep David Lee's conspiracy theories alive. I don't know what else to. I have no idea. If you're looking at the sky, the airplanes are dropping chemtrails to make us all stupid. Nadia, KUPD is not affiliated with anything David Lee says. Except this. No fluoride. If you have fluoride in your toothpaste, you're playing with the devil's dandruff. What? Debbie Phoenix. Yeah, he's just. I want to get him on the show and just. It's unique. We have David Lee. Just give us something. Tylenol causes all sorts of things besides the illness that makes your brain go Crazy. Thanks, David. Don't take tylenol98kupd to be freed eggs. We'd have Larry set that up. Yeah, just have him come on and just go. We only know you as a shallow voice. You have feelings. And I know why Vince has Alzheimer's. Oh, no. Because he took the jab. Thanks, David Lee. But, yeah, most of all, we'll. We'll try. We'll do our best. But, I mean, it's kind of a relief when Gary left because Gary was putting some heat on us to be funny while he was dropping out, too.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We don't have to try so much anymore, you know? No. Yeah. We could take a couple of days off. I don't need to know those people are out there. I need to think of them all as just kind of gray, nameless faces going from A to B in their little tin boxes and then heading back and forth to their little wooden boxes. At the end of the day, that's all. I don't. This ant farm doesn't need to have feelings and bring them back to me. Good Christ. I already started this thing online that makes. That breaks my heart every day where somebody will tell me they put their dog down, and that happens three, four times every day. I read an email saying, hey, John, I know you love dogs and I'd love to. And I started saying, I'm going to give my dogs. My dogs are going to get fat cookies and hugs for in honor of somebody else's dog, which I love. I actually do. But it. You know, I know you guys have real lives. I just don't. I just can't think about it. Yeah. So remember, we get some good stuff out of your ALS listeners. John, Remember that als? Matt's translator called Dale an ugly, disgusting ogre that morning. That was a good part of the contest. That's true. We can get good stuff. If Vince can come down here and forget that he keeps calling Dale ugly and just does it over and over again, that'd be great.

[Brady Bogan]

Was that. That was the handler, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, the handler. When she. Dale asked to rate him, and she said, like a five. You're a hideous beast of a human being. Says, could you possibly give a shout out to the ALS walk, which is happening tomorrow at Salt River Fields? All the info is on ALS Arizona Facebook page. Matt's doing great and listens daily. All right, thanks, Kyle. Yeah. Is the ALS walk just like Zach, when they put those horses on the. They bridle them up and then put that thing. And then let them walk in A circle. And they tie them to that pole. I don't think you want the als. Yeah. I don't think you want free range als, do you? That's just. You just want to keep them in a line, put them in a circle and just go. All right. I think we care that everybody go home now.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. I think they're in a bullpen.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And everyone else that doesn't have it, the als.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They just. It's like being at the bull ring. And those things you show all the time that they're like, ah, they're like caged in the bullpen. And then all the real walkers are up and down the stairs. Any way you look at it, I don't like diseases. I don't like talking about diseases. And I'm sorry that some of you have them. They're awful. And someday I will, too. Maybe I do now, and I don't even know it, but it's rough, man. And, Vince, I don't need that. I like flippant nonsense that means nothing. That's what I've based my entire existence on. And I can't have things start meaning stuff. It just doesn't work for me. My brain don't work that way. There's a waitress at the Rah Rah room.

[Harlan Williams]

Who.

[John Holmberg]

Last night we were at the Suns game. I brought my friend Dean. There's another story. Dorsey. It's a whole nother thing. He changed his name. He identifies as a different name now, but he looks exactly the same. It would be easier if he started dressing like a woman because I had to introduce him to, like 100 people. Now, I've known this guy for 20 plus years, and his name is Dorsey or was. And he didn't like it that he did all this telephonic work and people kept calling him a woman. They thought Dorsey was a lady. It doesn't sound like it, but they'd have to. He'd have to explain him not. And he got tired of it, so he switched to his middle name, which is Dean. Transition's going well, though. So he's transitioning from himself back into himself. I'm like, what did you tell your mother? You're like. You identify as a Dean. My son is transferred. He's going from male to a different male. You're sounding sane. So I'm introducing him last night, and a couple times I slipped up and called him Dorsey. And I felt like it was. I might as well said the N word. So we're at the Rah Rah room and One of the waitresses there who's really fun and usually super nice. It's just sad as can be. And then she says, and because she's young, she goes, can I come on your podcast and flame my boyfriend? I'm like, sure, if you want. I'd like to hear that. And she was all sad. And I'm like, no, you're supposed to be the drink deliverer and the fun person that smiles and runs around and Kinsey's bouncing off and then she's sad. Like, I don't want sad. You like that? Doesn't make this fun for the bartender sad. You make everybody sad. You're one of those people. Yeah, I don't like that. I like people to be fun and not. Don't bring problems to the bar. That's what the bar is for. Oh, I felt terrible for her, but she's oozing out sadness. I'm introducing Dean Dorsey to people. Oh, there was a great moment last night at the Raha Room. TV's Doug Hopkins came in and he goes, I hate you right now. I'm like, why? I just hate you. I'm like, what happened? And he says, and this, this might make Vince laugh. This was a great one. He says, you know, Doug and I are doing. He had me in one of his TV commercials. So on Sundays during Cardinals games, I'm. I'm in the commercial with Doug.

[Brady Bogan]

Pounds it pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

They're hitting it. Yeah, it's every Sunday. It's on there. So there I am saying, hey, the TV's Dou. Doug Hopkins, blah, blah, blah. And then, you know, we're talking for 12, 15 seconds, but I'm sitting next to him and we're having a conversation and somebody said to him, hey, love the commercials. Can't believe you've been doing this this long. And Doug's like, oh, that's great. Thanks. Yeah, we've been at it for long time. And he goes, and now you've got your son in the commercials. Oh, did that rob Doug? We are a year apart. Yeah, Some guy thought you were my son in those commercials. And I'm like, that's because not. I look good. You look horrible. So it works out great for me. They thought, now, that's it. Doug is now pop Popkins. Daddy Dougie. He was born in May of 1971. I'm July 1972. And so somewhere in that 14 month period, Doug made me. And now I am his son. Get him a Father's Day gift this year. Oh, my God, that's great.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a 20 year gap.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm gonna go over and just. I'm just gonna show up at the door. Dad. Yeah, Some guy again. He's. And I said, the guy was serious. He goes, he was dead serious. I had to. God damn it. I'm like, this is awesome. And then you got Kinsey the waitress. She's sad now. Doug said, now Vince is out there. He didn't remember anything, and I'm the only one doing well. It was great. Doug Hopkins did. And he's just staring at me the whole night. I felt a different Doug Hopkins last night. Like, why in the world? What's going on? I'm like, I don't look good, Doug. It's not because I look good. People think you're, I don't know, 80, 83 years old. That's it.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm.

[John Holmberg]

I look exactly normal. For me, you are. You don't look a year older. That was that or he saw you work in a room, said, that's my boy that could be proud of you, son. Thanks, Hopkins. Oh, it was the best.

[Harlan Williams]

That's cool.

[Brady Bogan]

You brought your dad up too, in the concert.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I had my dad up at the U fest.

[Brady Bogan]

Close it out.

[John Holmberg]

All right, everybody calm down. He gets. He gets triggered by big loud sounds. So let's not make him mad. I'm gonna start. I'm not gonna call him TV's Doug Hopkins. I'm gonna call him the late Doug Hopkins. Starting now. Because it's just. It's almost. He's about checking out. Oh, what a great feeling that was. It was. And then we had him up for the, you know, the Night of the Singing Dead. And he was up there and singing and dancing with us, and. I don't know, it might have been our. It's like when the, you know. Dance with my father. I should do that Luther Vandross song with him next year. Night of the Singing Dead. I'll do Dance with my Father with Doug.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Bring up earlier to a ballad for sure.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta slow it down. Yeah, he's doing bodies. I mean, his old man's body. Can't take that. Do you have what it takes to finish first? The App Store is packed with super fast, super fun racing games for every driver. From battling with your favorite characters in Disney Speedstorm to piloting one of over 400 different cars on officially licensed tracks in real racing. 3.

[Brady Bogan]

It's all right here.

[John Holmberg]

Blast down the track with no Limit Drag Racing.

[Brady Bogan]

2.

[John Holmberg]

Race and collect the latest and greatest cars in CSR. 2 Realistic Drag Racing or even take over the international car racing arena with asphalt legends and take on the toughest drivers from around the world with NASCAR manager. Just visit the app store to find these racing games and more and get ready to start your engines. Leave boredom in the dust on the app Store. Why choose a sleep number Smart bed. Can I make my site softer? Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler? Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side your sleep number setting. Enjoy personalized comfort for better sleep night after night. And now max out your savings. The more you buy, the more you save on beds, bases and more. Plus, get free home delivery on any smart bed with base limited time. Check it out at a sleep number store near you [e-mail] today. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I mean, I'm. I'm his young son and that. That takes a lot out of me. I can't imagine what it's doing to his old bones. TV's Doug Hopkins. Just like that. I don't have it on. What happened? Where's your. Oh, we have my Doug Hopkins song is not playing. Damn it. But yeah, so that was. That's the kind of stuff. By the way, the word for 6am is contest. The 6am word is contest. So hop on that. Make contest a thing and you can get it in 6am and just qualify yourself for another thousand bucks. Simple as that. Good luck. Yeah, but it messed up Doug's night. And then all the people with them were, you know, now he just looks like he's hanging out with. There was another. Another thing that happened. One of the people I know who have a friend of mine actually on the station. Interesting. And it didn't look good. I didn't realize you can't do this. It's a nice gesture, but you can't do this. One of the people I know through endorsements, I won't say the name because it seems he's not doing anything wrong, but it seems like he might be. He came to the Sun's game with a guest, and they came into the rah rah room and the guest introduced himself and I said, oh, it's nice to meet you. And then I turned to him and I said, is this. Who's this guy? Is this young kid you're with? Because he was probably in his early 20s, and the guy I'm talking to is about 50. And he goes, oh, that's my best friend's daughter's Ex boyfriend. And I'm like, what are you doing, Jared, at the game with your best friend's daughter's ex boyfriend? How did you even get to be friends with your best friend's daughter's ex boyfriend? And he goes, oh, I go over to the house every once in a while and he was there and we kind of hit it off like, nope, you can't do this. This can't be a thing. You can't just have new young boy friends that you're trolling around.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, look at him. He's a little cherub.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he was. He was an adorable young and like, you look like you're a little like you're. You're boy stealing. Nobody thinks that but you. And I'm like, nuh, daddy, why don't you go over there and dance into the spotlight for the father father son dance? But he's like, you think that's weird? And I'm like, if I told you, hey, I can't take you to the Suns game tonight. I'm going with my best friend's daughter's ex boyfriend. You'd start doing the math in your head and going, why is he even friends with that kid? It came out later that the kid works at a golf course. Course. This guy's a pretty heavy golfer and he's getting some free stuff from him. Brady would do that. Brady would definitely do that.

[Brady Bogan]

I got two or three guys already.

[John Holmberg]

They're young boys in your pen. Yeah, it's automatically right. You know what?

[Brady Bogan]

I gotta wake him up now.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing about it. I'm fine with it. You show up with the, you know, my best friend's son's ex girlfriend. I'm like, you pervert. But that's what 50 year old midlife guys do. I get it. But the boy. And then the other side is, what's the boy want to hang out with him for?

[Brady Bogan]

Well. Rah rah room. Come on.

[John Holmberg]

The rah rah room was because of me. He didn't know he was getting in there.

[Brady Bogan]

Took him along.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't know they were going to the rah rah room. They went to the game not thinking they were going to the rah room. I took him in.

[Brady Bogan]

He impressed the boy.

[John Holmberg]

Bam. And the boy I think is a captive. I even told him, I'm like, just blink twice if you need me to get you out of this because I think you're getting raped later. No, we've known each other for a while. Like, I hate how you met. I hate that you're Here together. I hate that you said yes. What did you listen to on the ride over? Gonna Huncho or Bruce Springsteen or Luther Vandross? Which. Who got control of the radio?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, maybe people think the same.

[John Holmberg]

They see you and Doug together, too. Well, that is true. I look like Doug's young twink boyfriend. You're absolutely right. Yeah, that's true.

[Brady Bogan]

You guys come rolling up with the Bad Bunny on there?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What'd you have? Bad Bunny rolling or. Or Stevie Nicks. Yeah, which one? Who got control? This is for me and Doug. It's Doug's themes. TV's Doug, my pop.

[Brady Bogan]

Pop.

[John Holmberg]

Get him. L. That was my favorite moment of the night. So, Vince, trying to ruin that. Can't take that away from events. That was great. Next commercial. If I do one with him, it's only, hey, I'm TV's Tucker Hopkins from my home group. This is my boy, John, and I'm gonna make him say that and then just confuse people into thinking that he's got a. Thanks, dad. Thanks, dad. Still any. How's it today, Pop? I wear a little hat with a propeller on it. Knock it off. No, come on. People need to see it.

[Brady Bogan]

Hopkins and Son.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yes. Yes. Doug Hopkins becomes my Sanford. I pass the business down to my boy. Anyway. That's what I need. I don't need this heavy stuff. Vince, I'm feeling for you, buddy. And this just proves something that I hate about myself. I am an emotional, empathetic human being. Ew. I don't want to be that. I like not being that. But I have feelings.

[Brady Bogan]

Yuck.

[John Holmberg]

And sometimes, and they're more than just for dogs. This guy's a stranger. I couldn't pick him out of a crowd. I'm guessing he's the one facing the wrong way, but I couldn't pick him out of the crowd. And he's got the Alzheimer's. And now I'm. I'm afraid of that. Hey, Vince. Email me back and tell me. Hi, Vince, it's John. It's kupd. Oh, boy. We gotta start all over, don't we? Email me back and tell me what the symptoms of this early ALS or Alzheimer's. You don't have the early Alzheimer's.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the whole thing that I think. Chris Hemsworth, he's got it. He's been diagnosed with it. How would you like to know that? By the way, you've got both genes. That.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's. That's different. I can handle that.

[Brady Bogan]

Develop into Alzheimer's. Now he's doing A program on Nat Geo where he's taking a motorcycle ride.

[John Holmberg]

With his dad, but he doesn't have the Alzheimer's. This dude's got it. He's got a chance. He's gonna get it later. Like, that's different. They do that with breast cancer and stuff. They look and they say, hey, you're probably gonna get breast cancer. They're like, oh, no. And then you can. That's what Angelina Jolie. She lobbed hers off before because she had the. The genetic thing to get. To get it. Even though she didn't have it yet, she cut him off. She was a preemptive strike. One of the worst ones I've ever heard in my life.

[Brady Bogan]

So I guess his dad has it, and that's what this whole program's at. He takes him on a motorcycle, right?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so he doesn't have it.

[Brady Bogan]

He doesn't have it right now, but he has the gene, but his dad does.

[John Holmberg]

So his dad.

[Brady Bogan]

Now they're doing one kind of like, last motorcycle.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. I tells you what. Yeah. All this stuff is depressing. Just win the money, Win the money, play the songs, do the fart jokes, and hope that they cure it with AI that is the best thing about AI right now. We're doing it for Indian Snoop Dogg. Bob, Brett showed me a video of Indian Snoop Dogg. Thanks, Sanjay. Yeah. And it's great. And that's what we're using AI for right now. But somebody smart is out there using. I imagine a smart guy who's using AI right now in a lab. He's got a Brett or a John next to him going, oh, you got to see this. He's like, this is not why we use AI we are using it to cure diseases, not to make Snoop Dogg one of my people. You gotta hear him say Snoop. It's for some reason, it's just hilarious. It's like being at 7:11 with Snoop Dogg. That is offensive in so many different ways. But he's gonna cure stuff because he's taken AI Seriously. There's a few people out there taking it seriously. There's another group taking it to weaponize it. A few who are using it to cure stuff, some who are using it for their own benefit. And then people like Brett and I who are using it for Snoop Dogg dog. The Indian Brady's using it. It was being used against Brady as. Because you just don't know which ones are what.

[Brady Bogan]

Trying to figure it out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Is this real?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Haywood says, oh, man, this is tough. John, you have two dads now that Doug Hopkins is involved in your life and Toledo still has none. Yeah, I'm kicking. I'm kicking his ass in the dad department. Yeah, Hopkins is was not happy about that whatsoever. I loved it. Vince, I'm rooting for you, buddy. Rooting for you. You know what I was doing before I got Vince's email? So I'm thumbing through the Internet doing some stuff before I get Vince's email which has gravitas and weight and meaning. I was looking in to try to become a hand model. I saw an article that says you can make three grand a day as a hand. This is what my brain's doing while Vince is over there struggling with what's going to happen next. One time before not hand model. I've tried a few different body part model stuff, but not hand model. I I and maybe and maybe I've mentioned that I would that's what I that when I retire from all this in a couple of years, the I got, you know, figure something out. The hand modeling. These are. This is nice. Look at it's not too big. It's not too small. It's manly and yet.

[Brady Bogan]

What would you rate it? 1 out of 10.

[John Holmberg]

My left hand is an 8.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

My right hand is a little less than it's got a couple knuckle issues from basketball. I've been not recent, but years ago I busted up my but it looks kind of. They're rugged, but they're also not. They're also classy. I think I can do it. And for three grand a day, that seems like a nice retirement gig over. You know, reach for a thing of Sunny delight and and just piss people off like Doug Hopkins room. Like. So I'm seeing you for a couple years. What are you doing now? Modeling. All right. God damn it. I'm leaving. This is it. Yeah. Your son's a model. Should be proud. You should be proud of I'm your boy. I can't be ignored. So Yeah, I started 3,000 bucks. I think I have a nice middle aged the long elegant fingers that still look like I could pick up a hammer even though I really would have probably hurt myself. Don't do that. No, I don't want to do that. My nails could I probably get a manicure and make them look even better.

[Brady Bogan]

But I could make a call maybe get you in on the Knight Rider jewelry. They're kind of.

[John Holmberg]

What's that?

[Brady Bogan]

Bigger rings like Stallone wears them.

[John Holmberg]

Knight Rider kind of biker type biker.

[Brady Bogan]

Jewelry even perfect for grabbing the handlebars.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because it looks like a guy who's like, this guy's done some stuff, but he also might be a lawyer. I look like I got weekend projects that I kind of dabble in, but I'm not gonna wreck these beauties. So that was what I got. And then Vince tells me, life means things. Life has meaning. I'm like, no, a second ago, I was almost a hand model, but then I realized that I don't have any idea how to be a hand model. Like, on Instagram. I just call myself that and start doing hand videos. You're gonna give me.

[Brady Bogan]

Start taking pictures of your hand holding stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my hands are qualified for that. Yeah. That's like this.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm holding your handle of vodka.

[John Holmberg]

That's a hand model. I could see my hands better than the guy in that picture. And that's. That might be Gene Simmons. Paul, though. Well, of course it's jewelry. That's true. It is jewelry. Like jewelry Super. That's exactly right. Brett, look at all the jewels. Yeah, you can do that. Ugly. They get a manicure. Knight Rider jewels. That is some ugly ass jewels. Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

It's badass.

[John Holmberg]

No, it isn't. And see, now that guy's got hands like me, huh? Except for he's black. Yeah, well, you know, just gotta clean up my fingernails as, you know, not make. They have to be more symmetrical. They're clean. But I think I can be a hand model. This is the kind of crap I need to think about. Not Vince tooling around with life crashing down on him. Not the waitresses at the Rah Rah Room, the happiest place in the world moping around because her boyfriend made him man. I need people to be okay around me at all times. It's just not. It's just, you know, it's not right. I don't need to know. Brady had his things. That's close. Heck, I see him every day. And we got through that with flippant nonsense and laughs. And that's how you do it. Can't take that responsibility. The other big story of the day, outside of Vincent having his issues, is that. Hey, who had Antonio Brown for attempted murder on November 6th? Probably somebody that was definitely in Dubai. Yeah. Now there was the twist. The FanDuel odds on yeah look low. We all knew we'd get the. I always look at things. I have my Before Ralphie May and after Ralphie May. Ralphie May was my first friend I knew was gonna die. I knew why he was gonna die and how he was gonna die. I Knew it. Everybody did. And I just didn't know when. So when people always say it's a new thing, people say all the times. Didn't have that on my bingo card. Well, I did. I had that on my bingo card.

[Brady Bogan]

It sped up.

[John Holmberg]

It was the tail end. No, it was a. It was about right there. I don't think there was anything that was like, wow, shockingly fast. I think we're like, yep, this is. We're right on pace here any day now. But when the call comes, you're still like, well, today's the day. I. This. I knew I would eventually get this. We all have a. A family member who's like, a drug addict or something. Like, someday the phone's gonna ring and it's gonna be the news. You just don't know what day Antonio Brown murdering somebody or being arrested for trying to murder someone was the call we all knew we'd get. We just didn't know when that was gonna happen. It was. Every day was a possibility. So yesterday, all my friends are texting me, see this? See this? I'm like, there wasn't. There wasn't an ounce of. Oh, my God. Remember when OJ killed all those people and you found out OJ's wife died? You don't think. And then when they started to give us, like, O.J. did it. We all had that feeling of like, I can't believe this happened. Like, we didn't see that coming. Bill Cosby raping people didn't see Antonio Brown in a. In a murder case. Yeah, that was gonna happen. Dubai was the twist. They had to go get him in Dubai and bring him back here. And it was part of the parlay. I mean, you'd have been good, you know, if you just took the. You know, the.

[Brady Bogan]

He was safe until Dubai says get.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The payout on Antonio Brown. Attempted murder charge, extradition. Check. Check those two. And then the. And then the location. You'd have been like, ooh, mister, by one. And Dubai. And then, of course, you miss your parlay by one. But that was the big part of the parlay. To pay it out. Would have had that, but it screwed me. But, yeah, Antonio Brown is now in custody for attempted murder. I have a feeling. Because it started as Antonio Brown arrested on murder charges, and then. And then it was attempted murder. It was for those guys he got into a fight with a while back in May, and. And they had a gun, and he started to chase people. Guy. The. The victim's name is Zul Carnian Kwame Nontambu no, they just showed. They just call him zq. Antonio snapped on him at the boxing event with, you know, some Internet influencers and then tried to shoot him with a handgun. And Brown. Antonio's like, ah, none of that actually occurred. You don't have to worry about. And then the police looked at videos and said, no, that's pretty much exactly what happened. And then there was gunshots that. And he started running. But it wasn't that they knew that he shot it. And they. Antonio Brown might be going to jail. He's only 37. But wouldn't they deal with it there in Dubai? Yeah, no, because he did it here in the States. This was a. He didn't do anything.

[Brady Bogan]

Happened in Dubai.

[John Holmberg]

No, this was back in May. And Antonio decided to head on over to UAE for some.

[Brady Bogan]

For a little while for things cool off, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

He's not exactly a lay low type. You don't go over to Dubai and sit quietly like he's gonna go over there and buy some knockoff Gucci's and Birkin bags and stuff for people.

[Brady Bogan]

Needs a little space between when he's.

[John Holmberg]

Knocking out tweets and being like wildly racist against his own people. There's something wrong with that cat. But, yeah, nobody, nobody was surprised by this. Antonio Brown, come on. I've been talking to my dad last. I mean, Doug Hopkins last night. And he was like, yeah, we all knew that was coming. I'm like, of course we did. Not a soul didn't see this. We just didn't know the day Ralphie's was. I remember when I got the call, said, are you all right sitting down? I'm like, oh, boy, what happened? And Joel, who owns the comedy clubs in town, goes, ralphie passed away last night. And my first words were, okay, today's the day. And it still stung because you lose your friend. But you knew, someday this was going to be the call I'm going to get. And it was exactly as you imagined it. Ralphie, you know, massive heart attack and got found. That's exactly what we knew would happen with him. Now the fanduel on Ralphie was what was his last meal. And I'd have won that too, because it was Jack in the box. And that's full circle because one of his first famous bits was Jizzack and the B Ox. When he'd go, he was going in there.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought it was like Fruity Pebbles or something. I thought he was having.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, he had. Well, they went to Jack in the Box the night before. He probably ate something in the morning, too. But the Jack in the Box was the big, like, drive around the middle of night, grab some Jack in the Box, take it back to the house, and he. And his. His opener.

[Brady Bogan]

Because I thought Hicks. Hicks or hick.

[John Holmberg]

Flair.

[Brady Bogan]

Spic flair.

[John Holmberg]

That was the opener. Yeah. Yeah. He was the one who found him. But they didn't hear Ralphie fall down outside. It was, you know, it's not good, but you knew it. Antonio Brown's another one. I would have won the parlay on Ralphie had I guessed the right date. October, blah, blah, blah. This year. Jack in the Box. In the system. When they got him, like the shark. License plate, boot. Jack in the Box. But, yeah. And then I kind of realized, oh, I have people in my life that I know. I had a buddy named Grant years ago. He bucked that trend. We didn't used to say if Grant dies. We'd say when Grant dies. It was semantics. But nobody actually realized that. That was. Well, when Grant dies, we're all going to have this, though. And he was in his 20s, but he was abusing himself so badly. We're like, there's no way this guy can sustain this life. We're going to get to call someday. Nope. Grant's thriving, lives in Ohio, still around, doing great. Yeah. And I saw him a couple years ago, and he's still redlining life. He's still throwing it out there, burning that thing all the way up. So if you've got that friend today, maybe check in with him and have some meaning in your life, like Vince is making me do. Thanks, Vince. Now I got to do some Irish Scottish character later today. That's hilarious. Or Vince's Alzheimer's gets worse. It's not fair. You're putting too much pressure on me. I might as well have been diagnosed with something. All I want to do is quit this job and be a hand model. Don't you people understand? Laying your problems on me ain't right. Let's get a wake up song. Maybe for Vince, maybe for Doug Hopkins. My pop pop. We do Everclear, Father of Mine. Maybe for Doug. Cats in the Cradle from Ugly. That's pretty good. I like that. For me and Doug Popkins. Yeah. Give us a Wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Still streaming, Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail]. Thank you quite kindly. There Miles to Nowhere. It's Katie and the Hobbs boy, winners of last year's Playdoh. And I'm holding in my hand this year's. This year's Palladio 30. The Palladio slots are all full. There are 31. Actually we got 31 bands in. 31 of them. And it will begin the week of Thanksgiving, the Monday of Thanksgiving week. We start Pallio, our annual attempt to find the needle in the haystack in music locally. To try to be the ones that break that band and give them some extra spins and some time and some promotion. And so far been a couple. Christopher Shane popped. We got him going a little bit, except for he still sang it my Night of the Singing Dead as a guest. So it hasn't gone too crazy for the guy. We had the guys from Bear Ghost. That looked like promising for a little while until they started fighting with each other and then they broke up. That was a fun good ready to go band. Like those guys were gonna explode. And then one of them started yelling at another one about most time it was girls and relationships and they accused one of doing terrible things. And then next thing you know, there's no Bear goes. But now, right now, we got Miles to Nowhere. It's been a few of them. I've been waiting to go and they just haven't happened. But are they going for a repeat? Did we know? Let me see. Are they on here? It would be nice if they were, yeah. If not. Oh, I've gone through 21, page three. Let's see if they're there. If not, Miles to Nowhere is a one time winner. No Miles to Nowhere on this list. They did not get in. They did not submit for. They didn't go for. Typical broads. They took their win and they left. Didn't even try for the back to back and shove it down the throat of all other local bands and musicians. Man. I'm looking for great band names.

[Brady Bogan]

We would know if there's a fallout.

[John Holmberg]

With Miles to Nolan.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, they're fine with email. They're still chatting with us and stuff. DJ Bathsheba. That's kind of a good band name. Otherwise I'm not. Not blown away by any of the band names yet. Nobody took any of the names we've been going through all year long, huh? I like Lady Strange and the Rights. Yeah, none of that. I don't know. Anyway, that's pretty cool. So Palladio is going to get ready to go here in a couple of weeks, if you can believe it. We're just a couple of weeks away, Thanksgiving right around the corner and we can start hearing stuff like this. Where, you know, this is. You're gonna like this when I. When I reveal this. It's not my type of music. Dude's got a good voice. No, no, no, it's not a dude. That is the most beautiful woman I've seen ever doing this. Not because she might be the most beautiful woman I've seen ever, period. And she's doing this. She is with him. I mean, this is supermodel hot. Her name is Ignacia Fernandez, but it's Ignacia fdz. She is a unbelievable. She is in the Chilean Miss World pageant. She's going for Miss Chile to be part of Miss World. And if you go to ignacia.fdez, you will see one of the most stunning women you've ever seen in your life. And just know that she sings death metal pretty damn well. There you go, Brady. Look at the pictures of Ignacia.

[Brady Bogan]

Beautiful.

[John Holmberg]

Fernandez. Did she win? I hope so, because if she came in second. I want to see what. I want to recount. Yeah, no, I want to see what's better in Chile than that.

[Brady Bogan]

The top one says semi finalist.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't it happen already? What are they tabulating votes with hand count? The survivor. Yeah. She's spectacularly pretty. And then she makes that noise for fun, like that's what she does. And at first it's just her singing. And this is on the stage at the pageant. She's got the sash and everything. It doesn't match up. It feels like. AI do the judges like this in pageants? I wouldn't think so neither. I mean, she could do anything. Pretty much though let me just say right now Cladio's canceled. She wins. Ignacia F dez.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, right in the jingle.

[John Holmberg]

It was in her. She sang this for the semifinals in the talent portion And I guess November 9th they had that. So it'll be this weekend for the finals. They have like a three day pageant. She's stunning. That picture. Good lord, man. Is she in a band? I. I'm not sure. It looks like she fronts a Chilean progressive death metal band called Deceases. D E. Let me take a look at that. D E C E S S U S. Deceases.

[Brady Bogan]

Book them now, Larry.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Why are we not having a u fest with the headliner? Deceases. She's spectacular. This would. I mean, you would sell out just on the idea of. Let's take a look at that. Good Lord, man. And she's not, like, fake looking. She looks great. And I think it's naturally pretty.

[Brady Bogan]

I keep waiting for a picture of her with Cliff Kingsbury.

[John Holmberg]

Covering her ass with a purse, though. So I'm not. You think she might be a fast man? No. I don't know. It doesn't look great in that picture. And that purse is in the way. Like, she did that on purpose. There's been a couple that I've noticed that the purse is covering. She may not have a manufactured ass. Is that her singer? Let me see. Okay. Deceased live. I can't hear. Those dudes that are in that band are the smartest guys in the world. Oh, yeah. I have no idea what's going on there. And when they say that, that drummer's.

[Brady Bogan]

Taking all the fumes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. If you're sitting there thinking in front of her, if that glorious girl says, I want to sing in your death metal band, you're like, yup. Can you do it? I think so. Good enough for me. You're in. You're gonna make us famous for just a minute. Anyway. We're getting extra attention. It's glorious. That's not her. That's just her putting on mascara and stuff. She is stunning. She's stunning. AI has not made a better one yet. This is a real one. There she goes. I like that. Brett looked at this angelic human figure and said, I don't know if verse is covering her ass. And I'm with him on that. If it's just not good back there. Yeah. Eventually being South American, you know, like. Yeah, she's down there. Chile. Right. Across the streets. Brazil. Right. I can find a reasonable replica of you with an ass, but I got the rest of it. Yeah, Stunning. It's pretty spectacular. But if she, you know, that's a deal breaker. No ass is a deal. Might as well be a boy. You're right, Brett. Damn. I don't know. I think, Brett, she's got. I'm not saying I can't.

[Brady Bogan]

She has some hips.

[John Holmberg]

She's got a waist. Brett. Might be. I don't know. Might have no butt. Oh, that's a shame. I'm hoping I'm wrong. I'm looking for reasons here. Even though there is no possible chance that it will ever even be in the same room as us. Oh, absolutely not. We are hoping for her sake as a human being that she didn't get robbed of an ass with all those amazing features. Oh, she's at the gym. This is a good, good chance to See, maybe never ever turns around. She knows.

[Brady Bogan]

Hiding it.

[Harlan Williams]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe she's doing a commercial for some sort of a salve that grows an ass watch. Never turns around. I'm trying. That's right. You ruined her. I mean, even. That's like. Yeah, even girl. Because girls with nice asses can't stop turning around. In pictures. A Kingsbury's girl always. She always turned around and, like, shoved it at you. A girl with a nice ass can't not show it to you. Whitney Cummings and all the comedians never watch a girl comedian who thinks she's got a nice ass. They turn their back on the audience constantly. Whitney Cummings special on Showtime. She's in tight jeans, complaining about tight jeans. The other one, Eliza Schlesinger. Same thing. The things I have to do to get ready. And then she turns around. Every time she turns around, arches a little ass goes up. She can't not do it. A girl with a nice ass always shows you that ass. Every picture, they're looking over their shoulder. They lead with it. And the ones who don't have one. Yeah. Usually wear big long coats or sweaters around their waist. Country where the asses are too good.

[Brady Bogan]

And there's too many good surgeons over there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know about chili surgeons. Everything is like, props up. Yeah. Like if you know, Brett ruined it. Way to go. Hey, it ain't my fault. I didn't give her no ass. You just pointed it out. Well, I couldn't even have fun with that picture for a few minutes. Off record going, I don't know. You're gonna be holding on. It was gonna be like she got hit in the back with a shovel. But the rest of her is stunning. Absolutely, spectacularly pretty. Except that ass problem. That Brett. Point.

[Brady Bogan]

Still invited to you fest.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just if she turns around, the crowd will leave. Oh, Brett was right. And we. And that's the first thing we would do. It's like, oh, we got deceases. And like, I don't even know if they're good or not. I don't care. Then they get on stage and we're backstage and we watch her go up. And I look at you like, let's go get something to eat. Ah, there. That's a little side and it's covered. She's not comfortable with it. Boy, oh, boy. Yeah, we're pigs. There's no question about it. But this is what men talk about. It's beautiful, but she's got no ass. I remember there was a years ago There was a girl that I wasn't even, like, with or dating or anything like that, but I was with her, and she was very pretty. And I was talking to her, and she left. And that friend of mine saw us talking, and he came over and he goes, what are you doing? It was. Who was that? And I told him, like, that's this girl that does this thing at Roma's, and she's maybe gonna work. I don't know if I knew her in school. And then he says, too bad. Like, what? Because I thought, yeah, she's a friend. I'm not doing anything with her. And he goes, no, no. Too bad she's got no ass, because the rest of her is great. And that was when I realized, oh, I'm not the only one. I'm not the only one who feels that way, thinking it's might as well be crippled. It should be. You know what? You should be able to get better parking. You should be able to get a handicap tag. If you've got no ass. I think that's a thing. That's like missing an arm. How come assless people don't get special treatment? They're essentially amputees or birth defects. That's pathetic. Got a couple people emailing. I think I found one. Here's one here. I got it up here. It looks pretty. That's the one I'm looking at, too. It's all right. It's not what I was expecting. I wanted it to be better. That's not that Latin ass. Yeah, I'm with you. Ah, I got another one. I don't know. Brett ruined it. She doesn't have an ass. Well, she.

[Brady Bogan]

Curveless parking.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Where the lines are even straighter. I mean, this one accommodate you, right? She's pushing it out there, and it's still not. Ah, damn it. You can see the lean Brett you took. You went to the Grand Canyon and went, yeah, but when the sun sets, the shadows. I don't think it's that great. I don't get the big deal. I mean, I'm not saying that she's like Taylor Swift body, but, well, that's my look. I have a better body than Taylor Swift. I. I'll never understand the Taylor Swift thing. I just do not get it. Saw her new stuff the other day on TV with that Lifetime thing of a showgirl or whatever she's doing, and I'm watching, and I'm like, man, you're okay. And everybody's losing. She looks so beautiful. She is perfect. Her hair I'M like, I'm not seeing that. And then I realized, oh yeah, I'm a guy. Guys don't think Taylor Swift is hot. Girls do. Women think Taylor Swift is hot. I don't get it. I was expecting Shakira type. Yeah, I wanted that too.

[Brady Bogan]

You know she's a 10 for a billionaire.

[John Holmberg]

Who? This one Taylor T. Swizzle I get for a bit. Oh, she's got the billion dollars and still her body's like. Yeah, but that's how perverted we are about asses. All right, they're bitching. What's the word? Oh, I'm sorry, Don D O N. Don? Like Don Corleone? Yeah, like Don Corleone.

[Brady Bogan]

Seven o'. Clock. What is done.

[John Holmberg]

All right, what's wrong with this girl? It's got no back door. I mean, you know, if you bought a house and it had no back.

[Brady Bogan]

Door, it would be.

[John Holmberg]

It wouldn't be up to code. You're not allowed. You have to have an egress ingress in the back too. All right, Don Dominic just said for Latin ass, check out Valerie K. All right, so you know, this is not what we're supposed to start. Oh, it's not? No. We can look though. We're definitely gonna look, but I'm just saying. All I was saying is decisis was this incredibly beautiful woman singing death metal and it's surprising to see. And it turned into Brett going, yeah, but she ain't got no ass. I'm like, okay, I didn't. I just thought it was an interesting look. And now you've ruined it. And it's true, man. She's kind of fake looking though. This one says, yeah, we are pigs ass or not, John. But they all throw it out there for us to look, so if they've got it, they flaunt it. My girlfriend's got a big ass. Every picture we take she has to turn around. She knows what butters the bread. And yeah, if you've got a girl with a nice ass, they all have a move they make to twist their hips. I bet you miss new booty does it all the time. Throws her hip up, ass towards the camera and looks over her shoulder. Absolutely. She's earned it. Yeah. Oh my God, that chick. That's just ridiculous. Yeah, that's. Jesus Brady would feed her pumpkins at that zoo. It's like we got hippo. But somewhere in between that and the deceased singer, I guess just like a porn star or something. Any girl that takes a straight on picture knows something's wrong. Back there. Yeah. And it is true to look at it like that. Thank you, Scott, for that. Is that if they're out there putting tight pants on and flaunting it, it's our job to go, that one's better than that one. Because that's the game they're playing, not us. With a voice like that and no ass, maybe she's a man. There was two ladies last night at the Rah Rah Room having dinner. Me and my friend Dean Dorsey. Dean, I won't do it. Is. We're looking. And they were sitting there in their.

[Brady Bogan]

Dee Dee Randall.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. Their breasts were in these, like, halter tops, and they were huge. And the one was packed into her dress. And we called her Baymax because she had a white dress. So she looked like that Pixar character that was kind of inflated underneath all that. But she was fine. But her boobs were out. And I. When I'm like, dean, look over there. And the one was pulling down her shirt to just get above the areola. And then she's looking at us like we caught her because she wanted more boob to show more heaving. More heaving breasts needed to be showing. And I'm like. And I get mad when we're, like, judgmental and sexualized. Come on. Your boobs are out, and you're wearing a Baymax dress. You look like a. You look like a. A singular human being would like, that is your skin. And we're not allowed. We have to peek because if we were perverts. But you're the one that was, like, trying to get your areola to peek out of the top, but not. And we were just standing, like, five feet from her going, I'm watching this. And her friends doing the same thing. They're doing that thing where they reach into there. Yeah. And they kind of peel it up a little bit and make it so the nipples just about to. They know what they're doing.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe the adhesive that was holding up the.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't have any adhesive. Uncomfortable things were moving around. They were scooching around pretty good. There was no adhesive, but it was just tight enough that she could move it. And then the dress would hold in right as. And it was like, it started to be a little sunset of skin there. Where the discoloration where the areola begins. Started like it's starting. And we were getting kind of upset about it. Like, just whip them out.

[Brady Bogan]

Six tables around them. All ordered chicken. Oh, the chicken breast.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna have the breasts. Get the steak Pound it out. I don't. I just want. That's chicken breast. And a glass of milk. And a glass of milk. Some chicken breasts.

[Brady Bogan]

Can I get two.

[John Holmberg]

Can I get. If I get mashed potatoes, will you put them in a nice mound? Like a mound of mashed potatoes and breasts. Do you have a pepperoni back there? Just one. I just need one.

[Brady Bogan]

Top it.

[John Holmberg]

Put it on top of my mashed potatoes. Why are you ordering all that silly food? I don't know. Duh. Because I got two giant cans staring me in the face, and if I look at them, I'm gonna lose my job. Yeah, it was. It's crazy. So I pulled the trigger yesterday, Brady, And I got myself one of them new Ford Broncos. And I like it. So now, basically, my garage is a. What color is it? It's blue and white. It's an interracial 70s relationship because everybody with a Jeep is like. Like Bronco. It's. It's. Guess who's coming to car dinner. It's basically, you know, Catherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy have invited Sidney Poitier over, and the Jeeps are now like, oh, oh, would you look at that? A Ford Bronco in my morning sickness. Morning sickness. And so the Jeeps in the Bronco, they're getting along. Everything's fine. But there's definitely a little tension in the garage.

[Brady Bogan]

I need some training.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? Some acceptance. It's a DEI garage right now, and definitely a couple of black and white. You're in there looking at him go. Blue and white, huh? Ford Bronco. Look at this. Look at this guy thinking he can walk in using our garage. Did you see the sign outside?

[Brady Bogan]

Have to see how he crawls.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. See what you can do. So there is a talk to Jeep people. Like, I can't believe it, man. It was. It's like I. It's like I sold out. I'm a race trader in the 60s. You're one of them. Not one arn. It was very odd feeling to talk to Jeep people at. That's what go. You didn't get rid of any of your Jeeps for that, did you? I'm like, no, I got. I'm hanging on to them. But what I will say to the Ford company and Brett told me, this isn't uncommon. The dumbest feature in the history of cars is happening inside that Bronco, and I'm getting it turned off. When I. We test drove it yesterday. And when I got in it, Megan drove it. And when she got in it to pull out this unbelievable. It's like a Harley Davidson started inside the car. And I looked at the sales guy and I'm like, what the kind of engine is in this thing? And he goes, I don't know. And we couldn't hear each other so loud. Like, Jesus, we're going eight miles an hour. And it's like. I think it's a helicopter. I'm pretty sure we hit a button. And this is a helicopter. It's making so much noise. And he goes, I've never. I've never driven in one of these. I didn't know. And I'm like, I drove the four door last night. It didn't have this engine. So he's looking through the papers like, did this get a modified Super V12? What is this thing? And he goes. And then he reaches back and he touches the back and he goes, it's the subwoofer. And I'm like, is that a problem? Because every time you hit the gas that. He goes, oh. They pipe in crazy loud engine sounds into the car. Because I hung my head out the window.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm like, give you that performance feel.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, it's not happening outside at all. It's totally quiet outside in the cars. Deafeningly dumb. And they're like, yeah, you can turn that off. You just have to. There's a little thing that Ford has. It's like, if you. Why would you want your engine to blow you out of your interior? I get it. If you had. If you wanted to be one of those dickheads that ruins people's lunches on nice days with a big engine outside. But why are you doing that to you now?

[Brady Bogan]

You're not doing that. You just have the party on the.

[John Holmberg]

Inside doing it to you.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a who the people that want the loud pipes.

[John Holmberg]

And I looked, and you know what it's called? It's the. You know, like that. It's the douchebag trim. It's the. Yeah, they call it the Badlands douchebaggery. They have it. It's. If you want to. If you want to annoy yourself with gigantic engine noise. That's not real, but the truck is awesome across the board.

[Brady Bogan]

But it's only. It's on all the Badlands.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's just in a few of them. I have the heritage one. It's really cool. Like, I love everything, but I drove it. I'm like, well, you can't even have a conversation in this thing. It's just. It's yelling at us inside the car. That's for married guys sitting in the seat next to them. Strong point, broad muffler. All you're gonna hear when it's over is, that car's ridiculous. So God damn loud. I'll wait until he's done driving it and then I'll start ear beating him. It's the dumbest feature ever. And I tell Brett and he's like, oh, yeah, they've been doing that for a while, putting the car engine sound that doesn't exist in the speakers. And it's so loud that you can't have music on. It's louder than the music. So, like, if I'm listening to Black by seven Dust and it's just, you know, voices call and I get a green light, call out my. Okay, that's not the I'm. That's a fantasy car. In my car, the engine isn't that huge.

[Brady Bogan]

Sometimes you battle the wheels just as much. The humming.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you've got the top down and stuff. I'm like, you know, Mickey Thompson's were notorious for deafening you outside the car. It was unreal, but it's the dumbest feature ever. And it's extra. Like, you people pay extra.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't touch it, man.

[John Holmberg]

It's great for resale to have pretend time inside the car. Oh, yeah, you can turn it back on, but I'm shutting that off. It's the silliest thing I've ever seen in my life, and it's in a lot of them. And you said that our buddy Ted had it in his sports car. Yeah. Yeah. Well, if he had a sports car, shouldn't the engine already make that noise? Well, they want you to feel it inside. It wasn't loud outside. Why not just do it to like a, you know, a Yaris.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that sports car with a four cylinder?

[John Holmberg]

Well, a lot of them are, yeah. If your brain is so easily fooled that you need that noise in your car to think you bought a big engine, you're an insane person. It is kind of funny. I could. I mean, I tell you, every time the gas got hit, I laughed. I couldn't stop giggling. It was death metal. It would just boom. Like, this guy thinks he's angry, but it's not real. It was exactly what the car did. And so I picked up my friend Dean in the car and I said, in a second, the dumbest thing in the world's about to happen. Because he's like, this thing's awesome. Like, I really like it too, but in a second, you're gonna. The dumbest thing's about to happen is that when I hit the gas. It's gonna be play pretend time inside the car. We're not doing anything special here. It's. We're going like 14 miles an hour. It's going to sound like we're. We're. We're in an F19. And he goes, what? I'm like, you'll see. And I hit the gas, and he just goes, oh, my God. I'm like. And I'm like, don't worry about it. No one else can hear that. We're not pissing anyone off. That's just for us inside the car. This cacophony of nonsense is just for us for no reason at all. It was hilarious. But you got to go drive it. Just go take it around and you'll. You'll laugh hysterically. I had to turn the subwoofer off to make it less. Because when the subwoofer's all the way.

[Brady Bogan]

Up, it picks it up more.

[John Holmberg]

It's not picked up. It's in it. It's designed to be. It's not. That's what I thought at first. Like. Oh, it's. It's accidentally grabbing engine noise. No, no, no, no. It's designed to do it. And it's. And it's. You can do bass and treble. Like, you can make it different. You can make it clean. Remix your exhaust. Yeah, it's got a full equalizer. Nice. I want to take your truck for a ride. Go take it for a drive. Here, I'll give you the keys. Go nuts. It's hilarious. But, yeah. So, to Ford and all the Ford people. Great vehicles, but, man. Oh, Chevitz, that's a stupid feature.

[Brady Bogan]

You'd rather have the Porky's horn on it?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Well, yeah, I'd rather. Yeah, I'd rather just drive around with it, but only inside the car so no one else can. Yeah, I'm a jackass in turret, but I don't like other people to know it. So it's a feature. If you have any Mexicans in the car, it won't piss off Mexicans outside. And you can just play that. You get a play to who's in your car. Well, if you're going to do that feature, every once in a while when I hit the gas, just have, you know, some hot girl pop up on the screen and go. Everyone in the world thinks you've got the biggest Johnson. Oh, thanks. There's a party going inside this cab here. Nobody knows it but me. Just call me Matt. Khalil. I haven't seen one like that since I did it with Matt Khalil. That's first gear. The car just talk to you and does crazy. If you're gonna do phony fantasies, why not? You know, Every time I step on the gas, two giant cans inflate on the dashboard. I get to squeeze them for a second. Then I go back down and they're like, these are for you. Okay, this is great. Oh, man, here we go. It's the. It is. It is without question, like, the one thing I'm like, can I. Was it lifted trucks? Those guys are awesome, by the way. And I'm over there, I'm talking to him like, I will buy this. Except if you can't turn that off, if that stays on, if there's no getting around this, you're keeping this car. And they scrambled on the Internet. I was like, yeah, there's a thing. You can get it to reset it and make it go away. I'm like, because that is. I'm like, who do people come in and ask for? Like, I don't want to buy a car with a big engine, but I want the inside of it to make it feel like I did.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, everyone knows it's the inside.

[John Holmberg]

You can't hear that.

[Brady Bogan]

Obvious.

[John Holmberg]

I stood outside of it and the engine revved and you just can't hear it.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like, have that car and don't realize that it's over the speaker.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. But it would be really funny if they're sitting at stoplights just going. And that's all you're hearing outside. But in the cars. It's the dumbest feature I've ever, ever heard. And it made me laugh forever. They don't make V8s anymore. I didn't know that. So they stopped. Like, Dodge won't make a V8. The hemis discontinued. And it's probably some. You know, they turbo.

[Brady Bogan]

Put a turbo on the.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's great. Yeah, they got the twins. So Greta Thunberg ruined it for V8s. And then some crazy politician said we've got to make it. So V8s are nearly impossible to build without all this other stuff that Boggan bound. Anyway, this guy says it's because douchebag drivers can't get over it. Doesn't have have a V8. It is dumb, but it's plenty fast. And I'm not buying that car for speed. You don't buy a square car for speed. That's just anti. You know that's against your brain. You drive a square vehicle. It's like it's not aerodynamic at all. You're not getting speed, Brett.

[Brady Bogan]

What about the Mustang five O's? Isn't that the engine? I thought that was a five liter.

[John Holmberg]

Imagine those cylinder. Yeah. Those guys exhaust on them. Yeah. They still may have a little bit of help with them. I'm not sure inside. Yeah. That is the weirdest thing ever to me. Just have it do the daily affirmations. You're good enough, you're strong enough, and people like you. I got the coolest car in the world, and no one knows it but me. Isn't that like having a. An invisible friend? Kind of. It is like. Yeah. It's your snuffle up. That's what I'm gonna call the car now. It's Snuffy. I'm just gonna name it Snuffy because it does things just for me inside the car to make me feel like I've done something I haven't.

[Brady Bogan]

It's still the. It's still on the outside, more or less, but it's like having those Tonka trucks that you just hit the switch on.

[John Holmberg]

What's a ton. Like the toys.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, the toy. You hit the switch, and it makes the sound of the engine.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like a little kid's toy. It has a little speaker on it. Make you think. But that's because it's a child, a grown man who understands that the car's lying to me. Me. It was very funny. Still a cool car. But I'll shut that off. There's no need for that. And then. But I want to be able to turn it back on for comedy purposes because, damn it if it's not hilarious. He said, My C8 has the same thing, John. First thing I did was turn it off. Said, actually, the motor is strangely quiet when not in douche mode. Yeah, it is. It's complete douche mode. I don't like anything about bubbly, loud, screaming engines ever. I don't. You know, they're kind of neat for a second. Like, I do like, the Wrangler 392 has a Super big growl, and it's neat, but it's purposeless. And I can't imagine spending $112,000 on a car I want to take out in the woods. You know, that's why the. The Jeeps are for real stuff. And the Bronco is like a pretty. It can. It's capable, but I'm just not going to do anything to it.

[Brady Bogan]

Remember that, that Roush Mustang? Yeah, that Sanderson gave me a drive for a day or two and we'll got to try it.

[John Holmberg]

That was a real engine, but it is douche mode. When you've got one is fine no matter what. But if you've got like five or six guys and it's the motorcycle people I'm talking about and the Harleys and they think people like it, no one likes it but you. So in a weird way, it's nice to do that. Say, look, you like it, so we put it in your car and you're not going to bother other people.

[Brady Bogan]

It fills that void.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it fills the void of needing to ruin people's lunches on patios on 78 degree days. And yet. And you know you can. And you can even roll the windows down and think everybody's hearing it. No one is. And you're not wrecking people's days. But yeah, the engine is actually really. It's really nice. And I don't know if that's a. Some guys are like, yeah, pussy. Like, I know. Nice. I like a nice quiet ride. I'm not interested in the car being so loud. I hate it. It's just silly. I like a nice quiet ride. Good pickup. It's got all that. I just don't need it yelling at me from the inside. I already got that. It's called the wife. Does it have the quiet the wife package? Oh, wait until you get a load of this. The engine never stops screaming. I'm saying that's what's great about it. There should be a button though. When she's in the car. It's like, sorry, it's the engine. She wouldn't know if the engine does that. Doesn't do it when I drive. What are you gonna do? I have it in sport mode or something.

[Brady Bogan]

Get a heavier foot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Sorry we can't talk. It's just annoying. Yeah, it is. It's tough when you hear things you don't like to hear in the car, isn't it? You're a jackass. The word for 7am is don D O N. So hop on that and you might win yourself a thousand dollars. Talking about the guy who has the early onset Alzheimer's. This guy says, hey, Homer Simpsons, Homer Simpsons. I'm not dying of any disease or anything, but if the Brady report flops, I'll have the worst day. It's impossible for me to calm down or console every time Brady has a bad Brady report and nothing's funny. I got home I'll get mad. I'll start yelling at the wife. I might punt a pet. It sends me into blind rage. For the sake of my family, please keep doing what you do with the Brady Report, Nate Spitler. You got it, Nate. We'll. We'll hop on that right there, make sure that the Brady Report doesn't let you down. Just in case it's the last one. Yeah. This one says, I've got the 91 Bronco with a V8, and the 2021 has more horsepower than my V8 Bronco did back in the day. Yeah. Yeah. They've changed those things. Those V6s are. Oh, yeah. Much bigger than the old V8s.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Turbocharged and everything, so. But now we play pretend they're making the noise of the old car. Why don't you just do that in your car? Just do it yourself. Like put some baseball cards in the sp. Yeah. It is essentially baseball cards in the spokes inside the car. Really weird.

[Brady Bogan]

I got that engine, but I don't do that with the aviator.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't put it in the Lincoln doesn't have the douche mode. Surprising. A lot of Lincoln drivers like to think they're not in a Lincoln, you know, like life hasn't passed them by and they're not some sort of family. So we put this douche mode in here, and it starts screaming like you're riding on a motorcycle. And then there's a fan blows right on your face, makes you feel like you're outside. It's not a convertible, but we put all these fans in it to blow your hair around, make you pretend you're in one. Anyway, so long, fantasy boy. But, yeah, it was. They said the car stereo guys can turn it off, so. Boys over there. Yeah. Oh, okay. We'll just go to our guys. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Yeah, I guess that. Yeah, I'll get it turned off. I'm not really worried about it. Guys are creative. We'll take care of it. Okay. We'll. We'll go over there later. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Give you a new speaker.

[John Holmberg]

Make it louder. Make it seem like I'm. You know what I want? I want it to sound like I'm in a jumbo jet. Could you make it so when Ron.

[Brady Bogan]

Capps is hitting the gas?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, let me see. I want a funny car sound. I want. I want to be deafened by my interior.

[Brady Bogan]

Can we point the speakers out?

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. That's rude. Only me. I'm. I'm the only one that needs to fantasize about this. And I also do. I kind of want to make and also want to think maybe I'm a Duke boy. So if we could get that all done, it's it. And I just started and I couldn't. Like, who wants that? And he goes, you'd be surprised. I'm like, I really would. The douche factor is strange. It is really strange. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats today? All right, Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And of course we talk about it. We've been talking about it all week long. We're going to be out there tomorrow. Oh, I'm good. I'm just reading something. We're going to be out there tomorrow from 11 to 1 o' clock. Over there at the new power Road and McDowell location. We're at the Haas trailhead. Want to get you on a bike. And they got all kinds of bikes in all kinds of different price ranges. If you need just something to cruise around, commuter bike, you know, around the neighborhood, ride around the kids or the, you know, canals, whatever, they got you covered over there. Plus right now, if you want to hit the trails, they got full suspension bikes in all kinds of price ranges. They're trying to blow out some of the demos and everything else starting at like 1500 bucks for full suspension, which isn't too bad. Yeah. And you can buy. You can ride it before you buy it. So they got demo rides going on, and Josh and the boys are going to be serving you guys lunch again. You and I will be hanging out there from 11 to 1 tomorrow at the brand new. Good. See all the stuff out there? It's going to be great. I might wind up buying another one. Kyle says it perfectly. Maybe it'll make car noises. Maybe they'll put that on our bikes. Now says. What it sounds like you're describing is like if you wear a penis extender and actually believe you have a huge one, or the car might as well just be a woman faking an orgasm. It is. It's faking a V8 orgasm. That's essentially perfect. That's exactly right. Yeah. The guy said the thing to turn it off is a program called for scan. Yeah, I was looking that up yesterday. Evidently you can. For like 25 bucks, you can get it and kind of shut it off. It doesn't make any sense. But you got to drive it, take it out during the break. You'll just giggle your ass off it like that. It's all fake anyway. It's 7:12. You got the what song do you want? Yeah, so we got Ugly Kid Joe, Cats in the Cradle for you and Doug. My dad, Doug Popkins. Yeah. Mud Vein, Skid Row, Nine Inch Nails, new one, Austrian Death Machine. Who's your daddy? Oh, Rammstein Avenged Seven Full Creed Queen, Fat Bottom Girls for Miss Chile. Oh, yeah. Poor girl. Anthrax Ghost, Here Comes a Son ac, DC and Stained Austrian Death Machine, who's yous Daddy for me and my. My old man, Doug Popkins. God, a great story. And he hated every second of it. Just hated it. And to whoever said that to Doug, and it wasn't even something I prompted, it just happened. And he had. And he told me, thank you for making my year 2025.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't think anything of it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was pretty great. I. It bothered Doug quite a bit. And it should, because it's not like he's looking at me saying, man, that guy looks like he's in his 20s. Nope. It just made him older. And I think that's fantastic. I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna get him some Metamucil in a diaper later today and make sure Pop Pop's taken care of. Doug Popkins. And you can see dad and I and commercials during the Cardinals game this weekend. Or. Yeah, they're playing. Oh, yeah, they. Are they on the buy or. No, they're playing the Seahawks. Yeah, Seahawks. Yeah. Doug and. Or Daddy and I will be up there on our commercials during the Cardinals Game on Channel 10. They should love that every second. You got it? Ready? Got it. All right. Austrian Death Machine. Who is your daddy and what does he do? It's 98, KUPD, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[Brady Bogan]

98.

[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com There you go. That is Limp Bizkit, and that's new stuff from them, and it's great. I actually have grown to love that song. Making Love to Morgan Wallen. That is the name of that song. And it's fantastic. Brett, you just took the fake orgasm out for a ride. It's ridiculous. Brett just took the Bronco for a thing. Just. Just to. It's. It's dumber than I explained. It's ridiculous. Yeah, it's. You know, I've heard them before in other cars, and they're not that loud. And I'm. Look, I'm a classic car guy. I'm a hot rod guy. I ride a Harley. That's insane. It's louder than Too Much and It's inside only. It's just for the driver to be annoyed.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, it's too much the whole time.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, it's. It's hilarious. But it's, you know, if you have a nagging wife in the passenger seat, it's great. It drowns her out. Yeah, there's no. And she's not going to want to ride in that. Nope. Yeah, I can't get in that car with you. I can't hear a thing. Oh, well, I'm driving it, so there's nothing. You either get in or you're right on top. I want to say hello to someone before our friend Erica from Incredible Stella is out there and she's dropping off another. She does the thing where she actually will deliver the dog from her rescue to an approved house. That's got it. She's doing that again. She's doing a great thing. So nice job, Erica. And Incredible Stella is one of my favorite. Not even a shelter, it's just a program and Erica runs it. First things first. Read the story on Incredible Stella on their social media pages and stuff and find out why this thing still exists. Because it's actually beautiful. And then the people who are running it are awesome folks, too. So nice job. Erica's out there listening right now, getting this love. Give it back and get that puppy where it belongs. She's done amazing stuff with a lot of dogs that wouldn't have had a chance otherwise. She's dedicated her whole life to this. You should see her. Her whole house is now built for these dogs. It's amazing. So nice job, Erica. It's time now for we'll get that word out too. At 8am we're gonna throw that your direction just a little bit, so get ready for that. In the meantime, let's get ready for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends over there at All Pro shade. AllProChade.com gonna make it right for you. You got for pets even you got an area like a dog run or something, and they hang out there and the sun's directly on. It's amazing. The dogs will find that you can get a nice shady awning there. And they'll make it look nice, not like you just plopped some sort of a shady structure into a corner. It doesn't belong. They'll make it look like it's part of the house. They'll make it look like it belongs. It actually adds property value and it's great. And right now, you get that thing from All Pro Shade they'll throw in a heater so you can enjoy your evenings that turn into nights. And as it cools down a little bit, you can turn that heater on and sit under that beautiful awning the entire time and enjoy the sunset. Not have it bang you right in the eyes. How about that? Allprochade.com they're giving back too. It's pretty great stuff. Brady reported.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. We've made it.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy National Cancer Awareness Day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, all right. Super aware of it. Oh, yeah, you're aware of it? Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

It's got his crucial catch hoodie on today. Brett does.

[John Holmberg]

Do you? Oh, yeah, you got your. That's the bears one. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

A couple of basis fun facts. Astronauts is a compound of two Greek words. Astro meaning star and knots meaning sailor.

[John Holmberg]

Star sailor. That's gay though. They had to come up with something other than star sailor to put these words together.

[Brady Bogan]

Was a guy named Percy Greg. In his 1880 sci fi novel across the Zodiac, the main character uses a spaceship called the astronaut to journey to Mars.

[John Holmberg]

Originally it was called Star Sailor and his journey to Mars. People like Star Sailor. Nobody's gonna read this. It's. What years was it? It was the 20s.

[Brady Bogan]

1880.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Jesus. Some twink floating around above us in space. They'd have lost their minds. They'd have just thrown rocks at anything that flew over them. Might be one of them star sailors come down here and perform the. The anal on us. Maybe that's why they call them astronauts, is because the star sailors of the past always came down and probed. You got hit by one of them star sailors last night. God damn it. Hi. We're star sailors. Can we land here? Get your goddamn PP shaped rocket off my planet.

[Brady Bogan]

Elephants. Elephants only need two hours of sleep a day, which is the least of any mammal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, so Lizzo's up 22 hours a day. A lot of talking. Running it hard. Well, not running, but she's not doing any running and not making anything hard.

[Brady Bogan]

You'll probably nail this one.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

A kicker earned the NFL MVP award in 1982.

[John Holmberg]

82 was either rich, Carlos, Raphael, Septien, Matt Barr. Trying to think of kickers from the 80s. Haiti. Oh, was it the Redskins guy? Was. And he had glasses. Number three. Damn it.

[Brady Bogan]

He went 20 out of 21 field goals that year.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's gonna kill me to hear his name. You will kick yourself. Number three. I'm not sure if it started the K. I'm screwed. I can't remember. It's Gonna. What is it for the time I say Ah. Come on, John. It's right now your tip of your tongue. Oh, I'm so.

[Brady Bogan]

You ready? You want it?

[John Holmberg]

Give me your first letter of his last name. M. Mark. Damn it.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, you're on it.

[John Holmberg]

I can't remember his name. Mark something. Ah, Go, Mark.

[Brady Bogan]

Mosley.

[John Holmberg]

Mosley. Damn it.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, people yelling at them.

[John Holmberg]

Also, I believe 82 was the strike seat season, so Mark Mosley won that because the Redskins, and that was a team name back in the day, they.

[Brady Bogan]

Were saying it must have been a mediocre season.

[John Holmberg]

I think that was the strike season, I think, because 21 out of 20 or 20 out of 21 was not like a massive. Even back then.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And so I think he was one that stuck around. So the NFL rewarded him by saying he played all, you know, all the games you could play. It was a shortened season. Pretty sure that's right.

[Brady Bogan]

From Campbell's release, their annual poll on Thanksgiving sides, we're looking at. Looking forward to the most.

[John Holmberg]

The top five Thanksgiving sides.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, mashed potatoes. Stuffing number two this year. Stuffing's number second year in a row.

[Brady Bogan]

Stuffing was number one.

[John Holmberg]

Stuffing. That's the only time you eat stuffing. Cranberries, too. If somebody broke stuffing out at, like, a Fourth of July party, you'd think they were insane people. People. Yeah. You know, if you. If you had a bowl of stuffing.

[Brady Bogan]

It'S cold weather food.

[John Holmberg]

Well, beyond that, Thanksgiving food, because you're always getting it. Thanksgiving and Christmas. If you ate it in February, you'd be nuts. If somebody said, happy Valentine's Day and pushed a bowl of stuffing onto the table, you'd be like, what the hell is this? I'm the same with pumpkin pie, though, too. It's the only time you eat it. It's holiday food. If I broke out a pumpkin pie for you for my birthday in July, you'd be like, john's lost his mind.

[Brady Bogan]

Stuffing number one, mashed potatoes. Two. Sweet potatoes. Three. Mac and cheese, four. And green bean casserole number five, Campbell's. Got to get some action in there.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, our friend Scott, the Uber rapist, just text in Brady and said he's riding around with an Uber and they're listening. Oops, I gave his game away. Sorry. Studley's in there riding around. Yeah. Uber driver listening to us with Snyder in the backseat. He's known as the Uber rapist. Enjoy your trip. He seems normal, but he's heading down.

[Brady Bogan]

To Van Buren again.

[John Holmberg]

He's heading down there to find another Uber driver to drop off for dead. Enjoy the ride. He sits fired over. Hey, I'm in an Uber listening to you clowns. Great. Thanks for checking in, Scott. The Uber rapist.

[Brady Bogan]

Police in Northern California are investigating an armed robbery at a U.S. bank this week. It happened around 4pm in the afternoon. There were five thieves. Sounds like it was an orchestrated operation, but there's a difference between that and being sophisticated because this bank is cashless. So it's unclear if the thieves managed to actually steal anything. Maybe they moved out the computers and TVs. How is the bank the appliances in the back room?

[John Holmberg]

You go in and you're like, you want cash in the break room? They say no.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Gnome was hurt. The Rover. The robbers drove off Ropers. The Ropers drove off in a relatively new Honda crv.

[John Holmberg]

Helen and Stanley robbed the bank. Brett Norman Fell and Audrey Lindley robbed a bank this morning.

[Brady Bogan]

Helen was at the Up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she was at the Nice Thing. Dead. We had a lady dressed as the Ropers. Was Larry the getaway driver or what? Oh, yeah. Larry. Yeah. Larry Dallas, the upstairs neighbor. The up. Upstairs neighbor. The Ropers. Maybe that was where Furley came in. Got caught. Robin Banks. I'm your new landlord. Where are the Ropers? Mr. Furley? Yeah. Hot car.

[Brady Bogan]

Paul Severinson is 66 years old. He's from Minnesota and he's been charged with disorderly conduct in connection with alleged nude displays outside his residence in the city of Lake Crystal, Minnesota.

[John Holmberg]

That's your old neighbor, Bob Ray, the naked neighbor.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, this Bob Ray took it to the next level. The last report was when they called the neighbors, called the police because Paul was out chainsawing.

[John Holmberg]

Chainsaw?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, that's dangerous.

[Brady Bogan]

Not sure if he's carving up a bear.

[John Holmberg]

You know what's going to happen? You know, the McCullough people are going to have to put a warning on the side of the box. Now, don't do this naked on your chance. Don't do this naked. And here's the guard for if you do.

[Brady Bogan]

Neighbors reported several times. He's been in the yard doing yard work.

[John Holmberg]

Naked. Yeah, they have reported several times.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. The last one was the chainsaw.

[John Holmberg]

This is your neighborhood. This is what happened in your neighborhood.

[Brady Bogan]

How many chances would you give Troy and ask Brady?

[John Holmberg]

I would laugh hysterically. Troy, Michael, were chainsawing outside. I'd assume it's. They would. And plus, by the way, they're gay, so it would be like a most amazing ice sculpture would come out of that.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, but yeah, that's What I'm saying maybe Paul was doing some carving.

[John Holmberg]

Naked. There's a big problem there when you don't say the word naked after a guy doing some carving in the front yard. Now that's just good old fashioned man sized work. I see what you're saying with Brady, though. He'd be over there with his, sipping on his coffee, what's going on? Because he's used to it. He grew up with a naked neighbor. It's not. It's not a thing. You just ignore it. You send your mom over. That's the one thing that they did when Brady's naked neighbor was in the window tugging on his pod. And Brady won't admit that that was true. But there's no reason to stand in the window and not tug the putt. And why don't you send your weak, small mother over to the naked man's house and have her straighten it out? And she did.

[Brady Bogan]

Bah.

[John Holmberg]

Put some pants on, for crying out loud.

[Brady Bogan]

Kids playing in the yard.

[John Holmberg]

I know. That's why I'm jerking off in the window. You're not seeing. Why aren't you doing the math here? Bunny bath. Put some pants on when you masturbate to the kids. Disgusting. I'm gonna stand in that full length window. I'm gonna masturbate naked to those kids any way I please. It's my house. It's America. God damn it. All right, sixth time. Come on. We don't want to flash the red and blues here in the neighborhood.

[Brady Bogan]

People will talk.

[John Holmberg]

Please put some pants on. And you guys sent your mother over. That's the best part. Bunny.

[Brady Bogan]

I wasn't even around.

[John Holmberg]

You were. You were. You were around. You told us about it.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I know, but I wasn't there. When? The day it happened. I was.

[John Holmberg]

The one day it happened.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Where she went over.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. When they'd had enough of it. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I just heard about it.

[John Holmberg]

You were adjacent quite often. You knew that. He was.

[Brady Bogan]

I was in the house.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Across the window. American beauty. Whacking across. But you. He was. It was not the first time.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. It was the second time.

[John Holmberg]

Well, multiple times. Bunny told me. It was a lot.

[Brady Bogan]

I was like. All right.

[John Holmberg]

Bunny told me. When she went over, it was like there had been reports. And the other neighbors on the other side of the house moved away. Remember? Because of him. Nobody ever did anything about this. Just Bunny went over and told him, put some pants on. If you're gonna jerk after the kids. You're in the window.

[Brady Bogan]

They can see you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Torp.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't go over there and beat some ass.

[Brady Bogan]

He did.

[John Holmberg]

He.

[Brady Bogan]

He went over there with my mom.

[John Holmberg]

But my mom's like, I've got it, Torp. You'll just. Torp's another version of Brady. He doesn't get angry. Went over there with the Cuban army behind him and you know, took care of business over there. He's like, hey, Bob, what's going on over that window? You get your pants down doing that pud tug and what the heck's going on up there? And then he didn't come home. Where's dad? Oh, I'll be right back. Knock on the door. There's Bob, Ray and Torp naked playing euchre. Hey, it's actually pretty freeing. Bob's teach me a lot about standing in windows without my pants on. Look, now there's two puds to look at.

[Brady Bogan]

Tell them stories. World War II. There I was in the tank. Yeah, naked.

[John Holmberg]

Either way, a naked neighbor is a one time only deal. The police come immediately. You don't give that guy multiple chance. And you certainly don't send over the smallest mom in the neighborhood. Neighborhood? I'll take care of this.

[Brady Bogan]

She and Kathy went over there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Who's Kathy?

[Brady Bogan]

That was the neighbor next door.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the one that moved away because of too many pud tugs up in her window?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, they stuck around for a couple.

[John Holmberg]

Years until they couldn't take it anymore.

[Brady Bogan]

Like areas.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. Put a sign in the yard. And you know what? Call my dad, Doug Hopkins. He'll. He'll buy that house from you as is. Even if you got a pug tugger in the window next door, please put.

[Brady Bogan]

That in the next spot.

[John Holmberg]

Pud tugging. No. Oh, that. He.

[Brady Bogan]

My dad.

[John Holmberg]

My dad. It is. It's my TV dad, Doug Hopkins. Oh, it's driving him nuts. I know. It's eating him alive. But somebody thinks I'm his son.

[Brady Bogan]

My dad.

[John Holmberg]

It's awesome. That's my daddy. Yeah. That's the first time you've ever said that. It is.

[Brady Bogan]

And now it's time for some science news.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Hello, my friends.

[Brady Bogan]

Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news. The interstellar comet Three Eye Atlas. They're still going with the theory. Might be aliens?

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

Probably not.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe.

[Brady Bogan]

But it looks like it's picked up more speed than it should have while slinging around the sun.

[John Holmberg]

I saw that guy on TV the other day saying it's, it's. They think it's got a jet propulsion or some sort of mechanical propulsion acceleration because it stopped having A tail for a minute and got faster.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. So it could mean the person it hit its boosters.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They're like. Yeah, that's what they think. It hit its boosters going right before it went behind.

[Brady Bogan]

Clark hit a button. He's got your engine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Check it out, guys. It's. You don't hear it out in space, but we do in here, so it's cool. That's my car, man.

[Brady Bogan]

The other reason is it also sped up. If the sun just burned off the outer layer. So the comet still makes sense, too. They'll know more once.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

It gets past the sun's glare because we're still.

[John Holmberg]

The guy was saying that there could be a goof.

[Brady Bogan]

Tough time seeing it.

[John Holmberg]

It might not be a comet, but it might be a rock. Wait a minute.

[Brady Bogan]

We missed it by that much.

[John Holmberg]

It's just a rock. Well, no, because it's not behaving like a conference. There is, but like comets have tails and gases and stuff that don't that keep it evident. I don't know much about when it.

[Brady Bogan]

Comes out of the sun's glare. They're saying it. It should have a lot more gas around it and maybe a tail.

[John Holmberg]

And that's what the guy said. Hyperdrive too, and he'd be gone.

[Harlan Williams]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And it might not come out from behind the sun. It might have gone into the sun, wormholed it, and it's going to blow it up from the inside. Here's the fun thing about this Three Eye Atlas that nobody's talking about. I talked to my buddy Brink about it up in Sedona, and he started to kind of hit me on stuff. And I said, why do we. Why are we so arrogant to think they're coming for us? Think about. About this. You get to a new galaxy and you're evil warlord aliens who have nothing but destruction on your mind, and you're blowing up all of space. What do you do? You find this little tiny planet or you blow up its sun. Morning sickness medicate KUPD Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

I think they want to go by Earth just because. Enjoy some of the seasons.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's because.

[Brady Bogan]

No, you think it's such a little fall. They've heard it.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a second. It's like when a fat girl from Buffalo moves here to get rid of that boyfriend and then realize she misses snow and leaves. Yeah, I miss the seasons. That's what the aliens miss, the seasons.

[Brady Bogan]

A good rainy day.

[John Holmberg]

If I'm. If I'm an alien warhawk and I'm flying around. I'm like, there's a galaxy. Let's that up. We're not going to the little tiny planet with these dumb fleshy ants. So you're saying they're Gilbert goons.

[Brady Bogan]

They just want to mess with mess.

[John Holmberg]

Catch kid. The no, I'm saying I blow up the galaxy. I'm not come if it's Earth I'm after. I'm not gonna land on it to kill them. I'm gonna screw up their whole system. And maybe they don't have the technology to blow up the sun, but I bet they do and they just blow ups. And then we find out that's what supernovas are as these dicks just drive around and invert the galaxies into dark matter. But yeah, so I'm. Because they think, have you ever seen that thing Neil Degrasse Tyson did about finding Earth?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. He goes, here's what it would look like if you flew. And I forget from where. From where? He goes, this is how you're coming into our galaxy. And then he goes, and here's us. And it is the smallest dots, the clusters of stars that you see Jajillion lights. And he said, here's us. And he goes, you'd fly right by it. You'd never even know there was anything on it. He goes, there's no possible way they know we're here unless they got the blips from us. And even then, that was coordinates.

[Brady Bogan]

Find out where we were. We picked up the one flashlight, but.

[John Holmberg]

That was coordinates from the sixth camp out. When we threw out the coordinates, we've moved millions of miles from there. Well. And we're spiraling through space at a million miles an hour. So if it were to find us there they are. It would be. They're going to blow up our sun. We're so arrogant to think that we're known. And we're like, we. You know who we are. We're the Corey Feldman of space. We think we're famous. Yeah, we think we're famous. We're strutting around space like everybody knows us. And really they just blow up the sun. We're the comeback kings. We are the comeback kings. And they'd be like, corey Feldman, planet is annoying. Blow up its sun. They're not coming for us, you arrogant pricks. They're coming to kill our galaxy. If they, they, they're going to land on our planet, they're going to take it. That means they don't have any resources. We're fools. I bow to them now, but I have a feeling that if they don't come out for it's. What is it? December 20th? That thing's supposed to show up on the other side of the sun.

[Brady Bogan]

Swing by if it doesn't. You've heard of these BUC EE's?

[John Holmberg]

If it doesn't. Yeah, it's pro. By the way, my friend Dean wore a shirt that said Bucky's established. It was like he had a shirt that said ask me about BUC EE's. Everybody said, When's that open? You have a buc ee shirt?

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, someone sent me one.

[John Holmberg]

Of course he does. That makes sense.

[Brady Bogan]

Earlier this year.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And every time I have it on, not take anything of it, people talk.

[John Holmberg]

About it like this.

[Brady Bogan]

They love it now. I wear it all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's has a shirt says Ask me about Buc ee's.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

It's on its way to Buckeye.

[Brady Bogan]

Buc ee's. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is it an Ohio thing? I don't know. I think.

[Brady Bogan]

No, but I'm saying it's like that. It has a cult following.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's ridiculous. Everybody knew about some brisket they serve and they all lost their minds for it at the game last night. John, stop stepping on Brady, man.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm gonna join his Starship Troopers platoon.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's Roughnecks, let's go. Huah. They're coming for us because we're the Corey Feldman of space. Pretty popular group here. Gonna get a big crowd of aliens that are. They won't find us. They'll blow up our sun. If that thing doesn't show up in December, that means it's wormholed its way into the sun's anus and we've got maybe a month to live.

[Brady Bogan]

Australia has so many solar panels now that they're giving away free electricity. They don't want to waste any of it. So starting next year, millions of Australians will get three hours of free electricity per day.

[John Holmberg]

How do they choose?

[Brady Bogan]

You don't even have to have solar panels on our house.

[John Holmberg]

Just everybody gets some or. You said millions.

[Brady Bogan]

Millions, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Not all of them. Just a credit.

[Brady Bogan]

None of the aborigines get it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're sin treated airbos. Just keep churning your wells in your stupid windmills. Airbos. We're using the sun's power.

[Brady Bogan]

A study found ground up sunflower seeds might be the next big thing in vegan meat. It's high in protein and they claim it tastes better than the current options out there. And in dinosaur science, we've never been able to I guess scientists haven't been able to figure out tell the difference between male and female dinosaurs.

[John Holmberg]

Forgot about that. Time out, Brady. Word. Eight o'. Clock. The word is ratings. Word indeed. The word is ratings. Ratings.

[Brady Bogan]

Now they think there's a way to tell. Studying a study found looking for fractures in the backbones might offer clues of dinosaurs. Dinosaurs were so big that females may have suffered spinal fractures while mating.

[John Holmberg]

They think they did a doggy style.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, the male on top.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. All right.

[Brady Bogan]

Snapping spines.

[John Holmberg]

Reverse T. Rex girl. Yeah, I guess that would make sense because even the guy would have to lay back down if she rode him. And it would still screw up one of their spines on rocks. John, do you ever think if Brady realizes how close to being featured on.

[Brady Bogan]

That Abducted in Plain Sight documentary he.

[John Holmberg]

Was living next to Bob Ray?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think he realizes.

[John Holmberg]

Brady dodged so many Dateline episodes just whistling and being happy and wandering around as the. The wanderer. There's nothing about you the that I.

[Brady Bogan]

Mean clown with an axe the other day.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, these woods are scary, Bob Ray. I gotta walk back alone naked. How do you think I feel in the windows? Look at Bob Ray doing his little window shop. And he doesn't know that we can see him. And that's why he's masturbating and facing us. Otherwise no. No one would do it. Hey, would you look at that? It's a human head. Oh, well, I'm gonna go get a grilled cheese at McDonald's, cuz I believe they'll be happy about that. Nothing McDonald's employees in the 70s like more than the special order from a child. You ate boogers, semen, and saw murder after murder and you don't even know it. Just don't even know.

[Brady Bogan]

Bad man. Well, presented to you as a grilled cheese.

[John Holmberg]

Say it again, Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

What? It's not that bad man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what he would say with this song. I said cheese. Grilled cheese. Semen and boogers is good.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh my God.

[John Holmberg]

All right, off topic. But guys, please call Brady's space army the gravy seals. Oh yeah, Gravy seals would be great. They'd make an offering of food. The fat one in the middle thinks we're going to eat his sausage, kill him and blow up their son. What are you doing that for? You are still smiling. Why do you still smile? I just said we're going to blow up your son. Wear your pants off. Are you the Bob Ray of space? I've seen you. Who is Bob Ray? Oh, the weirdo next Door that tugs his alien putt. Yes, we have one of those. How did we find you? Please enjoy our sauce. Please move. I'm going to blow up your saddle.

[Brady Bogan]

Another naked story. Couple got busted going 90 miles per hour on the autobahn. German couple, 37 and 33 years old. Nearly caused a massive pile up. Swerved in front of a truck to get off, went and did the three lane change over to get off his exit. Yeah, but they're clocked at 90 miles per hour.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

Caught in the act while driving. Did not specify what they were doing.

[John Holmberg]

What do you think it was? What kind of car was it?

[Brady Bogan]

Didn't say the car either. Had to be a self driving.

[John Holmberg]

If it was a Tesla, they were doing it. If not, it was a mouth hug.

[Brady Bogan]

I wonder how how many Teslas there are in Germany on the road.

[John Holmberg]

Seven.

[Brady Bogan]

Like it's the same U.S. seven, seven. That's what I figured.

[John Holmberg]

It's about what you thought. Yeah. That's the number I gave you and that's what you figured. That makes sense.

[Brady Bogan]

John, I fully believe that Brady has.

[John Holmberg]

Been protected as part of a political deal made during the Cuban revolution.

[Brady Bogan]

No one touches Bogan.

[John Holmberg]

It's that no one touches him. And it's got. When you watch Damien the movie the Omen, you're kind of like hey, I know that kid. No one's really allowed to say anything to him. Nothing bad happens around them. It's all mopped up.

[Brady Bogan]

The latest health hack making the rounds on tick tock is 3 by 3 by 12pm huh. The idea is you do three mini goals before noon to jump start your day. So if you can get in 3,000 steps, drink about a third of your daily water, goal and eat roughly 30 grams of protein all before lunch.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

They say in general that will help you hit your numbers and potentially lose a little weight.

[John Holmberg]

No. Then you just don't eat the rest of the day. That's why you lose weight.

[Brady Bogan]

No, you try to do that by noon and then. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Eat lighter. Well yeah, it doesn't matter when you do it. If you're eating lighter, you're gonna lose weight. Right. That's the key. It is smart though to jump start. Basically they're saying jump start your your day with breakfast.

[Brady Bogan]

So the stuff that you consume later, you're on a higher metabolism.

[John Holmberg]

It's breakfast. That's why breakfast is important. That is true. Calories in is. It's very true. If you don't. If you eat breakfast in the morning and keep it easy, body goes in.

[Brady Bogan]

A higher level it helps.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because your body gets amped up. And, yeah, there is truth to the idea of getting it going early. I'm terrible about breakfast. I eat crap for breakfast. Not literally.

[Brady Bogan]

You got two quick brand new videos. First one is man versus truck.

[John Holmberg]

I know who wins this. This is very rare.

[Brady Bogan]

This is actually policeman versus.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, we're on the side of a dirt road, or we're on the side of a road, and it went dirt, and now the truck's turned around and it's coming right back towards. Oh, there's a guy who's. He's chasing the truck. He's got. Oh, he just got clobbered by a guy doing donuts in the side of the road. Well, that was just dumb. That dude just. Was that a road rage? That's not a cop. So he gets up. He had a billy club, but he's got a safety vest on. He gets out of his car to attack the dude driving phone or driving like a maniac, and the guy just runs him over. There you go with that escalation thing again. All right, that's not what you thought you're about. This is your last 17 seconds. Enjoy your legs, man. Oh, boy. I don't like. All right, there's a guy laying down. Oh, there's a dude spitting in a sleeping guy's mouth. His mouth is open. He's asleep, and his friend is spitting a loogie into his.

[Brady Bogan]

That's justifiable homicide.

[John Holmberg]

That's justifiable homicide. I hope this is the video before the dude that gets run over by the truck, because that guy. Guy deserves it. Deserves every moment. Oh, my God. Into a sleeping friend's open mouth. And he didn't wake up. No.

[Brady Bogan]

And it just shot down the oyster. Went right down the throat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right, that was tough. All right, Brett, you're up. All right, you're up. Oh, that was hard to watch. All right, we'll start off with this one. Trying to figure out what this is. Oh, Jesus. Somebody with scissors or. No, like, pliers. What are we clipping? Are those teeth? Oh, my God. Those are just pliers pulling out teeth. Oh, my God, guys. Just pulling teeth out with pliers.

[Brady Bogan]

He's just got.

[John Holmberg]

But he's. He's not. Not pulling them. He's breaking them off. I turn the volume down. I don't know how. Yeah, he's breaking off the teeth. Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

Punishment.

[John Holmberg]

It's the appetizer portion.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe that's the way that the dentist operates in that country.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's a fetish video. It's punishment. All right? He didn't. He just took those pliers and just busted them front teeth. Just busting them off while he held them by his eyeballs. Oh, my Lord. What happens if we don't figure out our benefits today? That's right. You gotta get your. Yeah, most companies ready to get your health benefits reinserted. So that's what our lady will come up here. Just break your teeth out.

[Brady Bogan]

This truck doesn't look like this guy's gonna.

[John Holmberg]

Big truck hauling some wood. Drop the wood onto a BMW and inside the BMW. Here comes. Here comes the camera inside the BMW and it has smashed the driver. Is that a woman coming? Was, I guess. Oh, those are pipes. That's not wood. You're right. That's like steel pipes landed on top of the car. The biggest fear you have is an unsecure load on top of the car next to you and it rolls on there. Okay, speaking of that, here's a tattooed. Okay, we've got a clamp on a set. Time out. Here, let me help. This is going to be a tough one for me. Good luck. There's a clamp on a scrotum. There's a false hole above the scrotum that's been man made. And we're putting some sort of weird silver clamp into it. There's a hook on the scrotum that's about to insert itself into while he gently. Okay, that's pushed all the way in. Oh, my God. Just under the anus is a man made hole. And then on the scrotum there's a hook. And then on the penis there's one of those cow nose things that come out as urethra. And it came out. And the.

[Brady Bogan]

Or is it a different thing?

[John Holmberg]

Where is that?

[Brady Bogan]

But maybe it is attached a little.

[John Holmberg]

Bit because it's a long video. All right, so now we're. Now we're taking another clip into. That's a cotter pin.

[Brady Bogan]

John, you got to.

[John Holmberg]

That is a cotter pin. That's right. You got a cotter that. It'll slide out of your urethra. Always remember that. Always remember that. Do it yourselfers.

[Brady Bogan]

So he's putting the cotter pin in.

[John Holmberg]

The trailer to the. Get the cotter. All right, now. Oh, it's tattooed me with stuff hanging out of it. And then. So. Wow, look at that snow. Yep, that's me. That's me. That huge crank that he's got carrying around his. Awesome. And so he's got some weight hanging off the top of his Penis. Is this Germany? It's gotta be. Yeah, I think so. Wonder how many Teslas these guys have seen.

[Brady Bogan]

That's eight. Knock up to eight.

[John Holmberg]

Now. He's just standing there naked. That's. Yeah, that's the Bob Ray clamp they call that. He's just standing in a window naked for no reason. Yikes. All right, keep it moving. All right, here we go. All right. Oh, here's a gangrenous giant black penis covered in some sort of disease. Disease.

[Brady Bogan]

Maggots.

[John Holmberg]

And those are maggots crawling around. He's gyrating. He's gyrating. I think I'd rather hear the maggots than that language. Water's running.

[Brady Bogan]

Use it on him.

[John Holmberg]

Making won in the back. What is that noise? Moving. No microphone, I'm pretty sure.

[Brady Bogan]

Look at.

[John Holmberg]

Look at him moving. He's not running. Look at him moving. They're having a field day with this guy's genitals.

[Brady Bogan]

I think it's a faucet running.

[John Holmberg]

Where is that? Somewhere I will never go.

[Brady Bogan]

Any meat.

[John Holmberg]

All right, all right, then we'll just end with this. There we go. All right, here's a lady with a. It's a penis pump in her butt. And now she's rosebudding. She's pulled it out, and there's a rosebud involved. And as she's spreading it to get more rosebud to show, and she's. What's going on here? Now she's dripping something. I don't know what that was. That was kind of gross. And she just sucked it back in. Oh, it's back out. It's back out. And there's water or some sort of fluid, like some sort of body. You're gonna want to get that checked out. I think you got a loose hose. And that's what it seems to be. Look, the check engine light is on on this lady.

[Brady Bogan]

There's no place. Yeah, that's. What's her name from the Muppets.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, what's her name? Janice. Janice? Yeah. The one with the giant lips. Yeah. Janice is trying to get. Oh, it does. Now that's all I see.

[Harlan Williams]

Gross.

[John Holmberg]

Now that's all I see is Janice's lips coming out of this lady's butthole. Oh, Toledo. You've ruined the Muppets. Turn it off, Kirby. Yeah. This is for you. All right. There you go. That's it. That's it. Thank you very much. Yuck. The great Harlan Williams is coming in here. Yeah, he's in the kitchen. Awesome. Harley's in the kitchen. Ratings is the 8 o' clock promo code word. Put it in there, take it in the app. The promo code is ready to go. Ratings is the word you put in for 8 o' clock and qualify yourself for another 1,000American dollars from your best friends at 98 KUPD. We'll talk to Harlan next. Arizona's most powerful rock media stat. He said fully erect. Still streaming, Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com watch your mouth or we're gonna take money from you. Tarlin Williams is joining us right now. He's at the Tempe Improv tonight and tomorrow. Already there. Last night. How was last night?

[Harlan Williams]

It was great.

[John Holmberg]

It went well.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, there was like. It was almost sold out. Yeah, we had a great time.

[John Holmberg]

Beautiful.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, there was a really weird guy. I was talking to him, and I said I was talking about guns. And as a joke, I just said to this guy, I said, have you ever been shot? And he goes, yeah. And I go, what are you talking about? He goes, I was shot right through the nose.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. You have a nose like mine. You can't miss it.

[Harlan Williams]

But. But before that, I was asking him if he had a deviated septum. And he said, he did. And I said, well, did the. Did the shooting in your nose clear it up? And he goes, no. And I said, dude, that deviant, if you can't shoot it out, it ain't going away. Like, it was the most bizarre. That's why I love talking to the crowds. I had some lady.

[John Holmberg]

This was on stage.

[Harlan Williams]

This was last night.

[John Holmberg]

I thought you were just saying, like, out randomly chatting with the guy.

[Harlan Williams]

This was during the guy in the audience of the. And then some other lady. I said, what do you do, ma'?

[Brady Bogan]

Am?

[Harlan Williams]

She goes, oh, I do CAT scans. And I said, you ever work with dogs?

[John Holmberg]

Let me ask you this. How does the question, have you been shot? How does it ever pop up after? Do you have a deviated septum? How did that happen?

[Brady Bogan]

No, no, it came up. Cause you were talking about guns.

[Harlan Williams]

Well, I asked him about the deviated septum first, right? And then I think some guy yelled something out about guns. So then I started talking to the crowd.

[John Holmberg]

I have a gu.

[Harlan Williams]

And there was some guy in the back who said he had, like, 15 guns. And then so I just, as a goof, I went back to that guy on the fry, said, hey, you ever been shot in the nose? And he goes, yeah, in the nose. They're like. I didn't expect him to say yes.

[John Holmberg]

But that's Was it self inflicted in an attempt to fix the.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, he said he got in a fight and some guy pulled a gun on him.

[John Holmberg]

Could you tell? Was his nose messed up?

[Harlan Williams]

I couldn't see because of the lighting.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, but he blocked the shot?

[Harlan Williams]

No, he said it went right through the.

[John Holmberg]

The.

[Harlan Williams]

Through one side and out the other. Like the top part of his nose? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Holy smokes.

[Harlan Williams]

And I thought, if that doesn't clear up a deviated septum, dude, you're gonna be.

[John Holmberg]

Was that how he found out he had one? I've got two pieces of bad news for you. You've been shot in the nose. And I know you knew that, but you also have a deviated septum we can't fix. Or it caused. That's pretty amazing. Harlan's at the Tempe Improv. Go tell them how you've been shot tonight and tomorrow, tempeimprov.com I had another comedian tell me that. I said. He said, who's the. Who's the people you like when they come in? I'm like, I always enjoy Harlan. You're on a short list of people. Like, good. Harlan's coming. This is going to be Easy Friday. Whenever you're here, it's always good.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then he said, oh, Harlan's a billionaire now. You know that. And I said, why is he still doing comedy? Because if you had a billion dollars, I like, would you still do it?

[Harlan Williams]

I would, actually.

[John Holmberg]

You would still.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Hump morning radio. He wouldn't be here. You would not show up.

[Harlan Williams]

I would.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna cuss at you. No, you.

[Harlan Williams]

I would.

[John Holmberg]

I would make it so you didn't. You're not invited if you're a billionaire.

[Harlan Williams]

No, I would. It's all part of the.

[John Holmberg]

He thought you were a billionaire because of your cartoons and the. And the stuff you're doing. And I'm like, is. He goes, oh, he's invested his money. He's got a billion dollars.

[Harlan Williams]

Can I ask who it was?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Harlan Williams]

Well, I mean, I'm not a billionaire by any means. No.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Harlan Williams]

No. No, not a billionaire.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

A comedian with a. Maybe. Chappelle is.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying. And I was like, there's a possibility. You're. You're clean.

[Harlan Williams]

No, I'm good. Like, I've done.

[John Holmberg]

You've done very well.

[Harlan Williams]

Vested. Well, I'm doing. I'm doing good, but nowhere near a billionaire.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not mad at you if you are. I'm mad that you're here. Oh, no, because A billionaire that wakes up to do this.

[Harlan Williams]

Well, here's the thing. Even if you're a billionaire, if you're doing a certain job that requires pieces of the job. Yeah. And pieces of the job in comedy means getting out to the, the, to the audience.

[John Holmberg]

Just.

[Harlan Williams]

If I'm a billionaire and I just sit in my basement and I don't reach out to the public, well, then I'm not, you know, they're not really going to be. It's like, oh, let's go see. You know, they could go see Elon do stand up. He's going to be a trillionaire.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I would see.

[Harlan Williams]

So he's the funniest guy in town. But no, you know, changes perspective. Yeah. It's like all of this is part of the job. So if you're going to do the job, you got to stuff you do all of it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I would have answered that if I was you is of course I'm a billionaire. Because the, the change in your audience would be remarkable.

[Harlan Williams]

What do you mean?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they'd just be incredibly good looking women.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. I'm a billionaire. Actually, I didn't want to say it. I didn't want to say it, but.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was actually, it was two comedians. It was Craig Gas and Adam Ray. Oh, they both think you're a billionaire. Craig Gas. He's not famous.

[Harlan Williams]

I don't know Craig, but Adam's my buddy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Adam, he's a billionaire. He's got maybe. And Adam may have said it in like, like, like you just killed it with everything.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, maybe.

[John Holmberg]

I think Craig actually believes you have a billion dollars. Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

According to the.

[John Holmberg]

No. How much does he have on the.

[Brady Bogan]

Incredible celebrity net worth.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do you hate that?

[Brady Bogan]

It's estimated your net worth is 3.5 million billion.

[John Holmberg]

As of 20 billion. You read that? There's 3.5 billion. Did you have a rocket? Let's just run with it.

[Harlan Williams]

I am the rocket.

[John Holmberg]

That was not only a movie. Movie.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It was foreshadowing for your life.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Harlan the Rocket Man. If you had a billion dollars, what would you do? What's the first thing you think you'd do?

[Harlan Williams]

I would buy like a vintage movie theater. Like an old, like, like a Majestic. Yeah, like the ones we grew up in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I didn't grow up in a movie theater. We had a home.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, you did? Oh, well, if you ever wondered why I smell like popcorn, I grew up in a movie theater.

[John Holmberg]

That's where it is.

[Harlan Williams]

And I have stains all over the place back of my head. I don't even know what that was.

[John Holmberg]

I do.

[Harlan Williams]

That's billionaire talk.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know. That was the Fred Willard.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, Fred Willard.

[Harlan Williams]

I don't even know what that meant. I really regret it.

[John Holmberg]

Always sit in the back row of those theaters.

[Harlan Williams]

I shouldn't be talking like this as.

[John Holmberg]

A billionaire, but you're going to lose your money.

[Harlan Williams]

I would get, like the type of theaters that I went to as a kid, like the classic big screen, you know, And I would refurbish it, make it nice, have the snack bar. And I'd get mannequins. I'd put mannequins in the seats.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Harlan Williams]

And I'd have some animatronics. So at some points, maybe some of.

[John Holmberg]

Them, they get up and go somewhere.

[Harlan Williams]

Some of them clap. Or maybe I'd have like some celebrity mannequins. And then I'd have maybe like two aisles that were empty from friends and family so I could watch movies with.

[John Holmberg]

So it's a theater room.

[Harlan Williams]

It's a, it's a cheater? No, it's like an actual theater.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's.

[Harlan Williams]

That exists. Not building a theater on my billion dollar house. Separate, like, buy an existing old theater that's run down.

[Brady Bogan]

Guys, you want to see a movie today?

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Like somebody's over to the theater.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, just have your own movie and have like a guy in the snack bar and popcorn and like. But you're so rich. You can, you can have that experience.

[John Holmberg]

And go to the lobby.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, I love that.

[John Holmberg]

I like that the mannequins get up and sit down and move around. Do the black mannequins talk during the movie? Oh, yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

Have to make it real. Right. Of the homeless mannequins eating their own legs. I don't. Isn't that what they do?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what is happening in your billionaire man theater.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, they're homeless. They get hungry, they need to feed.

[John Holmberg]

Then you'd have to have an usher mannequin to get them out. And then a mannequin police to John.

[Brady Bogan]

You couldn't take it.

[John Holmberg]

Control the chaos.

[Brady Bogan]

The piped in eating sound.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

Popcorn.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Have you been to a movie packaging? Do you still go to theaters? Nobody does.

[Harlan Williams]

I, I, well, here's the thing. I loved going to the movies. I would go like at least once every week or two weeks whenever the.

[Brady Bogan]

New feature would come out.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, I loved it. And now when I go to the movies, which is a lot rarer. Yeah, it's really rare. Unfortunately, because I loved it. I am met with, like, people on their phones, people being belligerent, people talking.

[John Holmberg]

Dinner.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There's forks and knives now. I hate it. Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

I don't want to be watching Predator 5 and smelling lasagna. Like, I don't want to be watching a horror movie with zombies and some guy's having a casserole next to me.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it's just weird.

[Harlan Williams]

You can hear the forks and knives. It feels like you're on an airplane. Airplane. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I hate it. I can't stand. I. I have. I have that. I hear everything. Even when you're reaching in a bag. How come no one can get the one they want out of the bag in a movie theater?

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, right. Which crinkling.

[John Holmberg]

Half an hour to get.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't you see what you're causing?

[John Holmberg]

A licorice. You're making all that. Oh, it drives me.

[Brady Bogan]

The coffer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And there's always a guy who gets a cold in the theater. You know what wouldn't happen? Harlan's Theater. Because there's nobody in there. That's real.

[Brady Bogan]

Type one of those.

[John Holmberg]

And then have an usher come and remove him, and everybody goes, that's.

[Harlan Williams]

That's good. I went to the Man's Chinese Theater, the famous one in Hollywood once with my buddy Fred Beasley, and he was this real Canadian hoser guy, you know? And they had this thing where you could order, like, hot dogs and all your stuff, and out in the condiment counter. Excuse me. They had jalapenos. They had, like, sliced jalapenos in a. In a big, deep.

[Brady Bogan]

Like a jar pin.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. No, it's like a. Like a container. Yeah. And so I got my. They put the hot dog in this little, like, cardboard thing. They lay it in the carrier. Yeah. So I took the hot dog out and I filled it with jalapenos. And then when I went in, I slid it under Fred Beasley's seat. So the whole movie, like, this reek of jalapenos. Like, halfway through, he's like, what the. I couldn't stop laughing. And he stormed out of the theater. He was so mad. It was so good.

[John Holmberg]

In the classic Man's Chinese Theater, you pranked and ruined. Like, it was just an ad. Beasley went storming out, and you want to own your own theater with hijinks like that.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We used to lick Whoppers. Remember Whoppers? Oh, wow. Chuck them at the screen. Because somehow or another one of my friends figured out if you lick them, they stick and they do and he hit once. We were at Richard Pryor's movie Critical Condition.

[Harlan Williams]

That's hilarious.

[John Holmberg]

And no one was there. And we are. We bought three boxes of Whoppers. I mean, just 90 mile an hour heaters into the screen and they'd stick for half a second and then just roll down.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, that's hilarious.

[John Holmberg]

At the time of our lives.

[Harlan Williams]

I love that.

[John Holmberg]

Double features from there on. Just Whopper nonsense. It was awesome. Yeah, I missed the movies.

[Harlan Williams]

That would have been fun to challenge yourself. Like if you went to see the Omen.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

And the scenes where Damien's rottweilers came up with the glowing red eyes. And you just tried to hit the eyes. Satan's Rottweilers had Whopper eyes. It's like just like triple the scare.

[John Holmberg]

It kind of three Ds out a little bit like. Like glaucoma.

[Harlan Williams]

Rottweiler Whopper eyes from hell.

[John Holmberg]

Harlan Williams. See, it's always something. It's always walking down a path. I didn't expect Harlan Williams at the Tempe Improv this weekend. If you want to head over there. Tempe improv.com. somebody asked me this a while ago and it sticks in my head. Is the. You know how interviewers always have. Sometimes they have like a sign question. Yeah, I'm working on this one. Tell me what you.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, here we go.

[John Holmberg]

What's the closest you think you ever came to getting aids? Ah, because everybody's got like a. Oof. Shouldn't have done that.

[Harlan Williams]

I think it was that time when I was in Haiti and I was having sex with a monkey.

[John Holmberg]

That's everybody's answer.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. Someone came in and pulled me off the monkey and it was a flight attendant from Air Canada. And he jumped in and picked up where the monkey left off.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Harlan Williams]

I think that's where Vade started. So I was there right at the beginning.

[John Holmberg]

It made my brain wonder when I was asked.

[Harlan Williams]

Interesting. Yeah, I don't.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, how close do you think you've ever come?

[Harlan Williams]

Excuse me?

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Harlan Williams]

I think your question just radically changed a little.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta work on the question and.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, that's the answer to AIDS with that question.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I wonder that because nobody's even concerned about like STDs. Like maybe you got. You got dodged those. But like, when's the granddad?

[Harlan Williams]

Well, the problem is you may have been close to it, but how would you know?

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Harlan Williams]

Like you could have been with someone who, I don't know, was maybe infected with it or had whatever. And you might have been with Them and not got it. If you had sex with someone with aids, you didn't automatically get it. From what I heard, that's true. So you could have been with someone and not known, but you don't have sex with someone, roll over, light a cigarette and say, do you have aids?

[John Holmberg]

You don't? I don't smoke. I don't smok smoke. So that part of it's gone. But I do ask right to the age question.

[Brady Bogan]

Could I borrow a needle?

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, like, so how would you know? That's kind of a weird question.

[John Holmberg]

It is, but I had an answer because I had a guy walk down an alley once with his pants on that actually screamed the words, I came here from Los Angeles to give you the aids.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, wow.

[John Holmberg]

And so it did have an answer, the aids. Jay Pharaoh had one too, where he had a guy on a. On a train or subway turned to him and said, said, you're not going to get off this train without my aids.

[Harlan Williams]

Well, maybe he was just trying to help him out of his seat.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just added essence to things interpreted.

[Harlan Williams]

Nothing wrong with aiding someone. Let's go, guy. That's. That's neighborly.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, maybe Jay and I misunderstood.

[Harlan Williams]

There's a lot of misinterpretations.

[John Holmberg]

Partially new gentlemen were just trying to get us up out of our chairs.

[Brady Bogan]

Do you like lemonades?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Are delicious.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, I think that's a hard one to know. Yeah. Unless someone actually says, hey, I'm gonna bite you. I'm gonna give you aids. Like I'm an AIDS vier or whatever, which is vampire for aid. And the. That's about AIDS viers is that they can get you night or day. It doesn't have to be nighttime.

[John Holmberg]

The sun doesn't affect the AIDS virus.

[Brady Bogan]

They don't vaporize.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's an old. That. That. As you said, that old chestnut. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Garlic doesn't work.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, garlic, they're just.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're just AIDS virus.

[Harlan Williams]

AIDS virus.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And they bite.

[Harlan Williams]

They bite and suck, apparently.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, they suck all. You don't want to catch one of those. They're hard to spot, too. PD Holmberg's morning sickness. I watch a lot in that Geo.

[Harlan Williams]

They're hard to spot until your face breaks out with AIDS scabs.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Harlan Williams]

Then, you know, then you're spotted all over.

[John Holmberg]

It must have been an age.

[Brady Bogan]

That's all you see in the reflection of the mirror.

[John Holmberg]

It didn't make you think that question because to me, I'm like, ooh.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, I think I have the answer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Okay.

[Harlan Williams]

Now, it's a bit of a hypothetical answer, but it's an answer nonetheless. It's sort of valid.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Harlan Williams]

I was at a. Years ago, I was at a. I guess, I think it was an Emmys party or something. I can't remember. Some. Some kind of showbiz party in Beverly Hills or something. And I was there, and there's a whole bunch of celebs there, you know, the red carpet and everything. And I was milling about, and Tom Hanks was there who had fake AIDS in Philadelphia.

[John Holmberg]

You almost got that.

[Harlan Williams]

And I did a movie for him through his company called My Life in Ruins.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Harlan Williams]

His. His company, they produced it, and his wife was in the movie.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Harlan Williams]

So he knew of me and I knew of him through that. And so I walked up to him at that event and we shook hands and talked for a little bit. So I shook hands with Tom Hanks, who had AIDS in Philadelphia. So it was like movie aids.

[John Holmberg]

You had movie aids, potentially. Got the movie.

[Harlan Williams]

That's the guy with aids. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

For that movie that had aids.

[Harlan Williams]

Right. Good job.

[John Holmberg]

The guy who had pretended to have aids.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

So I. Yeah, but might be worse. I'm close to pretend aids, which you'll find in every playground across America.

[John Holmberg]

Pretend aids.

[Harlan Williams]

Kids love it. Oh, they love to play pretend.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

I'm gonna be a fairy. I'm gonna be a cowboy. I'm gonna be aids. I'm gonna be dead by recess. Good Lord.

[Brady Bogan]

Fun game. When's the next recess?

[John Holmberg]

This is a good fun play.

[Harlan Williams]

Pretend I'm an aids. I'm aidsy. The AIDS fairy. God, what is happening here?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you ran with it, and I appreciate it. See, this is why I like you.

[Harlan Williams]

I'm gonna lose my billionaire.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're gonna. You're gonna lose a comma if you keep it up.

[Harlan Williams]

I'm gonna. Oh, commas, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, you hate those.

[Harlan Williams]

I. I love them. I eat them.

[John Holmberg]

You eat commas.

[Harlan Williams]

I eat commas.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that means.

[Harlan Williams]

You've eaten them, too.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Harlan Williams]

Have you ever had a shrimp cocktail?

[John Holmberg]

They're little commas.

[Harlan Williams]

Those little pink. They're little. The commas of the sea.

[Brady Bogan]

Think about that.

[Harlan Williams]

They're delicious.

[John Holmberg]

I've eaten a lot of. What are the commas?

[Harlan Williams]

I love eating grammar.

[John Holmberg]

What would be the bananas?

[Harlan Williams]

Bananas aren't a comma.

[John Holmberg]

That's not. Well, he has poor handwriting. He is bad. Yeah, they're a parenthesis.

[Harlan Williams]

They're a parenthesis or a bracket. You call them parentheses or brackets.

[John Holmberg]

We call them parenthesis. Brackets. Are square.

[Harlan Williams]

But a bracket's also parentheses.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it can be. Sure. I'm not fighting with you, Donnie. Would you look that up?

[Harlan Williams]

I feel like there's a fight happen. I think there's a bracket fight happening.

[John Holmberg]

In the middle of a bracket.

[Harlan Williams]

I think we should step into the parentheses and go at it. Sounds like an MMA event. And they're stepping into the parentheses. Aidsy and whatever your name. Herpesy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I like it. Pepsi, Herpes, whatever. Yeah. Bumpy. I like that. Yeah. Is it Canadian to call them brackets?

[Harlan Williams]

I think maybe that's what it is. They call. Do you guys don't call them brackets.

[John Holmberg]

Parenthesis. Parenthesis.

[Harlan Williams]

Parenthetic. I don't want to come off as a dumb billionaire.

[Brady Bogan]

Brackets. More square.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The brackets are the ones that are.

[Harlan Williams]

Squared off, but either way, called them brackets. That's weird.

[John Holmberg]

The brackets would be toast.

[Harlan Williams]

Maybe it's a Canadian thing.

[John Holmberg]

What's the exclamation point of view? The sea.

[Harlan Williams]

Maybe a. You see cucumber that just did a shart. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just has something trailing.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. Am I allowed to say that?

[John Holmberg]

I think so. Because it's sort of a word. Yeah, it's like brackets and parentheses. It's not really the.

[Harlan Williams]

It's the Canadian version of AI Version of it.

[John Holmberg]

Brackets are punctuation marks used to enclose and add information.

[Harlan Williams]

There it is. I was right.

[John Holmberg]

Curly brackets. Parenthesis. No, I was right. Square brackets are what's up there. Parenthesis are the things I'm describing.

[Harlan Williams]

They don't mess with a billionaire.

[John Holmberg]

Then curly brackets. You don't have enough money to change this, I think.

[Harlan Williams]

Damn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Your value just went down, Harlan. Thanks for playing, but we have to. We have to tell you that you didn't win the game, too. Yeah, There you go, princess. Either way, I don't. And now it's. Now we're eating emojis and like. Yeah, that's it. Do you. Are you a text guy or are you a call guy?

[Harlan Williams]

I do both. I find I don't call as much anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Call it a. All.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, it's sort of rare.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

It's almost alarming when your phone rings, it's emergency only.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

If you're calling me.

[John Holmberg]

I assume someone's more age related, though.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, you have.

[John Holmberg]

It's age related.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, age. I'm sorry. Finally he's getting in on it. I. Yeah. I don't know what it is.

[Brady Bogan]

Older friends.

[Harlan Williams]

No, I think even older friends, it dissipates.

[John Holmberg]

My dad is 78 since, like, thumbs ups and fist emojis. And I'm like, when did that start? He's a teen girl. He's going through his second childhood and he's identifying as a girl.

[Harlan Williams]

It's bizarre. Yeah, no, it's very weird. And I still have a landline.

[John Holmberg]

You do?

[Harlan Williams]

For what?

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Harlan Williams]

Because at my house I have an electric gate. And so the gate, when they built it years ago, is connected to a landline. So you can control it so you send somebody in.

[John Holmberg]

Most billionaires have that release the hounds.

[Harlan Williams]

But yeah, so I still talk. I actually. Talking on a landline, to me it's like comfort food. It's like meatloaf and potatoes. Like, I love sitting on when I have to do a call where I know I'm going to be like, catching up with a friend or family. I'll get on the landline. It just. There's something.

[John Holmberg]

Is it got the curlicue cord?

[Harlan Williams]

No, no, it's a cordless. Yeah, but it's just. There's something really comforting about the landline. You're not worried about any dropouts or. Or any glitches or anything?

[John Holmberg]

It's weird to talk to someone else on a landline.

[Harlan Williams]

No, you don't.

[John Holmberg]

Well, then it might drop out.

[Harlan Williams]

Well, mine will.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I see. So you don't take responsibility.

[Brady Bogan]

Plug in the cordless.

[Harlan Williams]

You what?

[Brady Bogan]

Charge?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Plug in the cordless.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. No, I always have it charged.

[John Holmberg]

We're killing his meat and potatoes. He's loving this. And we're throwing up scenarios that ruin it for me. Sorry about that story age. I apologize. Apologize. Harlan Williams at the 10pm what movies are you doing right now? What do you. What's busy in Harlan?

[Harlan Williams]

I just am about to release a movie that I wrote and directed called Wingman.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Harlan Williams]

It was 15 years in the making and we had two false starts to get it done. And then just about a year and a half ago, we finally.

[John Holmberg]

You got it.

[Harlan Williams]

We got it greenlit. We got the money, we shot it. So I wrote it, directed, nice, starred in it, Russell Peters, Jamie Kennedy. Holy cow, Kayla Wallace from Landman is in it. And it came out really good. So we're just settling up the distribution deal right now. And it should be coming out, they're telling me, possibly around February.

[John Holmberg]

What was the holdup?

[Harlan Williams]

The holdup was just everything. The billion dollars, funny people editing this changes to the script.

[John Holmberg]

So are some of the scenes showing in 2010 and some shot in 2020?

[Harlan Williams]

No, no, it was all shot at the same time. It was just the assembly and it was like, you know, finding the right Distribution. A lot of work.

[John Holmberg]

A ton of work.

[Harlan Williams]

Like, a lot of people go, I'm gonna shoot a movie. And they shoot it, and then they realize, oh, wait, now we gotta find a way to get it out to the world. And, you know, hopefully that's getting easier with the, you know, digital media. The era we're in now where people can get stuff out on their own. A. But it's still tough if you want to get it out there to the.

[John Holmberg]

Theaters and to the people in one big hit.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. So Wingman.

[John Holmberg]

What's it about?

[Harlan Williams]

It's basically about a professional wingman. Like, this guy loses his fiance like she's a runaway bride, and he hires this wingman to help him get new girls and realize that doesn't work. And then he asks him to help him get his fiance back. So I play this wingman who's just got crazy methodologies to pick up girls. Really unorthodox stuff. Like, I keep an albino koala under the car seat of my car because albinos are so cute. They're the number one panty dropper. And he goes in, and before he goes in, he goes to KFC and buys fried chicken and rubs it on his neck to attract women. To attract the fat one away from the hot one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the wingman. Oh, that's genius.

[Harlan Williams]

So he's there to help. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Really smart.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. So it's all about this nutty. He's sort of like a wingman, but he'd be the Ace Ventura of wingman.

[John Holmberg]

Over the top.

[Harlan Williams]

Over the top.

[John Holmberg]

Did you test any of these theories for the movie? Like Daniel Day Lewis style?

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Are you a method actor?

[Harlan Williams]

No, I just went for it. I just saw what are the craziest things this guy could do.

[John Holmberg]

And wouldn't it be pathetic, though, if that did work? If rubbing chicken on you and fat girls did follow you around.

[Harlan Williams]

Who says it wouldn't?

[John Holmberg]

We've never tried it.

[Harlan Williams]

Everyone loves fried chicken. That's right.

[John Holmberg]

And if you get to rub it all over. Yeah. You might get Brady to follow around.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm already. I'm already on to you.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You've got the trailer out and everything. That's got f words. That's the wingman.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, no, that's not mine. That. I think there was another movie called Wingman done years ago, but this isn't mine. Our trailer isn't out yet. Nothing. Nothing's out yet.

[John Holmberg]

This is the fake wingman. Yeah. This is what you don't want to see.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. This was one that I think Was done back in the 90s by someone. But yeah, this isn't not good at all.

[John Holmberg]

Let's get rid of that.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Oh no, I can tell you. But that awful.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if we saw. Yeah, yeah, that movie is.

[Harlan Williams]

I feel good about it. We did a few test screenings and people were laughing from joke 1.

[John Holmberg]

And how nerve wracking is that?

[Harlan Williams]

It's really weird because it's your. Everything is you, everything's mine. And I even edited the damn thing. So it's just like it was. It's all you, but you just go, hey, you do your best. And I really feel without being trying to be braggadocious based on my knowledge of film and my history, I look at it and go, it's at least good to start. And if people like it beyond good, I would never push it into bad category. Like, I know structurally you're not mad. Yeah, I'm actually quite proud, I feel. And based on the test screenings, we did three so far and they went really, really well. And so.

[John Holmberg]

So when you do the test screen screenings and you see, oh, that joke's not hitting or that just doesn't. Yeah, didn't. And the audience is reacting. Do you go back and get rid of it?

[Harlan Williams]

No, we didn't alter anything. And they weren't test screenings for people's opinion. They were film festival screenings. Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh.

[Harlan Williams]

So when I say test, I mean I got to see the reaction in.

[John Holmberg]

Front of real audiences and that's got to be just. I couldn't do it.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, it's nerve wracking. But I gotta be honest because I. My actors were so good and everyone delivered and the look of the movie is so good.

[John Holmberg]

Awesome.

[Harlan Williams]

That I went in feeling like. I know this is good at ground level and if it goes above that, hooray. But so I wasn't that nervous because I felt like there's.

[John Holmberg]

You were proud of it to go in.

[Harlan Williams]

I feel like it's. I know enough to know that it's good.

[Brady Bogan]

And since you did so many jobs on it.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Credits. When the credits roll. Are you there like 400 times? I am on catering everything.

[Harlan Williams]

I did a lot, even to the point where we had such a low budget. I wrote some original songs.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna ask you still doing your music? It's in the movie.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, I. We did some original songs.

[John Holmberg]

You were with the Barenaked Ladies guy for a while, weren't you?

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. This was done separate. This was done here in LA with. With the. The Guy who did the music for the whole movie and we wrote some original songs. So yeah, it's really exciting. So watch for Wingman coming out hopefully in February.

[John Holmberg]

You like Howard Hughes? I am billionaire who makes movies.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's pretty awesome. Now, next thing you're gonna get a plane and you're gonna start a big wooden plane.

[Harlan Williams]

Was it the cedar goose? Spruce goose.

[John Holmberg]

I like the cedar.

[Brady Bogan]

Cedar duck.

[Harlan Williams]

See, that was the sequel.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Howard wasn't good on. On rhymes or really alliteration. So he just had the cedar duck.

[Harlan Williams]

The demented sparrow, and then the prideful.

[John Holmberg]

Flamingo, the balsa condors.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Would it have the same impact if it was called the prideful Flamingo instead of the Spruce Goose?

[Harlan Williams]

I think it would do well on Pride Day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I think it has its time for sure, but I don't know that people would visit it annually to go see.

[Harlan Williams]

Visit it annually or annually?

[John Holmberg]

Annually.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

I mean, you got. Flamingos are bizarre.

[John Holmberg]

That's a weird thing.

[Harlan Williams]

Well, nature's so cruel. You watch the Discovery Channel or Animal Planet and everything's getting killed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

And you gotta figure, what chance do you have in nature when you're born pink?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

To be hidden and you're just standing around on one leg. Yeah. Your legs look like this when you're standing. I mean, what does a flamingo even sound like? Quack, quack.

[Brady Bogan]

What are they?

[John Holmberg]

They're just gay ducks.

[Harlan Williams]

I think they're gay ducks. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I think they are flim point homosexual ducks.

[Harlan Williams]

They're pink. One legged quack.

[Brady Bogan]

And it bends reversed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Harlan Williams]

I saw one in chaps the other day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. They can literally bend over backwards. So I think there's some. Their theory holds. Harlan Williams, Tempe Improv Tonight and tomorrow, Tempe improv.com leave us with words of wisdom as you already have, but please change the world for us.

[Harlan Williams]

All right, guys. Life goes by quickly. I always say this. This is my motto. Live life, don't let life live you. Okay, so grab what you want in life. Live it. And don't let life. Life take you on its journey. You take life on its journey by your standards and your. Your dreams.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Don't grab what you want, though. That was the Me Too movement. It got a lot of fun.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just grab. Grab what? Ask first, then grab what you want. Yeah, yeah. Don't Cosby up that life dream.

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah, the Me Too movement.

[Brady Bogan]

You gotta understand who you're talking to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You can't grab whatever you want.

[Harlan Williams]

My dad had no idea about the.

[John Holmberg]

MeToo movement, but he just kept doing it.

[Harlan Williams]

He didn't get. He didn't have a clue. He goes, who the hell is this Chinese girl? Me, too. I want to get in on this.

[John Holmberg]

She seems.

[Harlan Williams]

No idea. Quack, quack. Oh, and check out my podcast, the Holland highway on YouTube. Every Tuesday, we put out a new episode.

[John Holmberg]

Who's the guest now?

[Harlan Williams]

This week, it's coming up as Sal Volcano.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I love it.

[Harlan Williams]

The Prankster. And I pranked him real good. Like, he's not an easy guy to prank.

[John Holmberg]

Jalapenos.

[Harlan Williams]

I got him. No, not jalapenos.

[John Holmberg]

Quack.

[Harlan Williams]

I got him really good. So that's coming up this Tuesday, and it's a pretty cool prank I played on.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Fantastic, Marlon, always.

[Harlan Williams]

Thanks for having me, guys. Great to see you.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks for waking up. Now go roll around in your money. It's Harlan Williams, everybody. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98. Still streaming. Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com I'm actually sad that the Warning aren't huge. They need to be. And they are. Like Brett said off there were talking about they're. They're gigantic everywhere but the states. And I don't get it. That's just good rock music right there. And I'm not a girl rock band guy. Fantastic stuff from the Warning. No complaints there. The word for 9am is shot caller. Shot caller. It's one word. Pop it in there. Maybe win yourself 1000American dollars. Take it in the air. That's the way we do it. It's 9:22. It's time for the entertainment drill. And it's brook to you by our [e-mail] that's the home of Tactical Black. Get on out there and start celebrating their 25th anniversary, which is right on par with us. We're going to do the same thing next year. Year they are as well. They're hitting their 25th anniversary the ground running, and they're going to drop those prices for a month. 89 bucks for a month of training is unbelievable. Look at their schedule and realize that if you went to every class, it would cost you less than a buck, I think, to go to all the stuff they offer. They've got things constantly happening. $89 is going to get you just a foot in the door and you'll look around and go, I want to do this all the time. Why? Because you become a master of yourself. You start becoming a sheepdog. More sheepdog on the streets means less wolves. The wolves will have a harder time picking out sheep if there's more sheepdogs. And that's what we're looking for. You become better at defending yourself. You become more aware, which is the key to the whole thing. Then of course, if it does go sideways and everything goes pear shaped, you'll have some sort of concept of what you're capable of, what you're good at and what you do in situations that kind of happen to you and they might. You just never know. Probably won't. But there ain't no harm in being prepared. Reactdefense.com 89 bucks for their 25th anniversary kickoff. That is awesome. Get that month in. Right now it's the home of tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, according to the star to bloyd. Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton are reported living separate lives these days. A lot of their friends think the magic is starting to wear off.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. Blake and Jimmy are going to break up or. I'm sorry. I got very scared. It was.

[Brady Bogan]

But I am wondering.

[John Holmberg]

Jimmy Fallon and him are gonna break.

[Brady Bogan]

Still gonna have.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. This is just the worst news in the world for. For one person.

[Brady Bogan]

Do some time on Jimmy's show.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

I've never heard so sad.

[Brady Bogan]

Tell me something.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what's going on. I want to be happy. I want to tell jokes, but I can't do it.

[Brady Bogan]

Sorry. I shouldn't be laughing.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, Jimmy. We shouldn't pretty much. We may never laugh again. We may be done laughing for the rest of eternity. Let's go have a couple drinks. We gotta have already had a couple of. Once more. Blake and Gwen are not together.

[Brady Bogan]

Blake done with his box.

[John Holmberg]

What does that mean? Brady? Oh my God. I can't believe this is happening tonight on the show. Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani are scheduled. We could have to replace one of them with Justin Timberlake and I. I don't want to do that. I'm gonna crack a bottle. Just gonna sit there and with Higgins and we're just gonna drink on the show tonight and contemplate the potential.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't you think it was a good run? 10 years.

[John Holmberg]

It's an amazing run. But it's not enough. Sorry, can't take it. Jimmy Fallon's a happy man. The death of their relationship is something I cannot deal with.

[Brady Bogan]

Who's your musical guest tonight?

[John Holmberg]

Blake Shelton. He's always a musical guest.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, good.

[John Holmberg]

If Gwen Stefani doesn't Come on. He's gonna bring someone else on, and it might be Keith Urban, and he's going to one, too. I don't understand what's happening in the world anymore. I think it's time I step away. I'm the only talk show that's not getting canceled. This can't happen to me. I'm gonna leave now, Freddie, and hopefully I'm gonna go throw some pennies in a. Well, maybe Blake and Glen will come to their senses on my show tonight.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's do it.

[John Holmberg]

We've got Greta Thunberg tonight.

[Brady Bogan]

Doom Goblin.

[John Holmberg]

The doom Goblin. And we're gonna play Yahtzee together for about an hour and just talk about Blake and Gwen. I gotta go. I can't believe it's happening. Freddy, you're still there. Watch yourself, okay? I can still look at you and find fun. Okay, there's Fred. You brought fun back. It's almost like that guy that emailed earlier that's got early onset Alzheimer's. You're the first person that made me laugh.

[Harlan Williams]

You didn't even try.

[John Holmberg]

It's great stuff, Freddie. Guys, nice job. Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

There he goes.

[John Holmberg]

Tough one for him. He's out the door. That'll be tough for him if Blake and Gwen aren't there, because that's me. No show tonight. That's his. Phil.

[Brady Bogan]

Timothy Chalamet is on the COVID of the new issue of Vogue magazine, and people are giving them crap because it's the worst cover they've seen. He's in a fake space background around in his outfit. I don't think it's quite as bad as what they're saying it. But he's also talking about the interview, that he was pretty pissed he didn't get the Oscar for the Bob Dylan movie.

[John Holmberg]

Who got it?

[Brady Bogan]

Don't know. I thought he got.

[John Holmberg]

He got one of them because I remember maybe it was a Golden Globes. He got the Golden Globe for best actor. Yeah, it was just last year.

[Brady Bogan]

It says just the worst backdrop. AI. It looks bad. Bad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It kind of does look.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like sixth grade science class poster 24. He's refreshingly confident, that guy. He. He. Thrillers. Nodding. It's like when he talks about, like, he's like, I know it sounds better. I'm going to be the greatest that's ever lived. And I'm like, I heard Shia Labouf say that. Be careful.

[Brady Bogan]

Sydney Sweeney trained for two and a half months. The play boxer Christy Martin in our upcoming movie. Christy.

[John Holmberg]

She looks great.

[Brady Bogan]

And she says, I really want to Have a real boxing.

[John Holmberg]

She wants to fight. But Christy Martin's got to be 40, right?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I don't know if. Yeah, that would be she.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't it weird?

[Brady Bogan]

Too old. I thought she was. I thought fight someone equally.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you don't know the story of Christy Martin, she was, like, the very first actually great female boxer, and she really was physically fit, sound boxer, went through hell, abused, almost killed. And so the answer Sydney Sweeney has is after doing this and getting so close to Christie, I'd like to start hitting her. Well, that always ends with Christie.

[Brady Bogan]

Says she wants to be her promoter.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she doesn't want to.

[Brady Bogan]

She already has a couple of fighters in mind for her to.

[John Holmberg]

It's a movie about domestic violence. Violence, pretty much. And then Sydney Sweeney wants to fight the lady. It's about. I don't think that's a good idea. As long as he rips tops off. Yeah, eventually. Now let's just girl fight. Let's just hope that the. The producers and directors have the wherewithal to know why we would go to a Sydney Sweeney boxing movie, and that's to see her cans pop off in the shower or something. There has to be a topless. And she loves showing them, she says, so she knows that that's where her bread is buttered. So butter. That's Brett. Adrien Brody beat us Chalamet for the brutalist. Oh, that's right.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, ComicBook.com put together a list of the 10 most iconic quotes that everyone knows from movies. And it's interesting because it's.

[John Holmberg]

Dude, where's my car? That's got to be top 10.

[Brady Bogan]

Number 10 was Avengers Assemble.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

From the Avengers. End game. Nerd.

[John Holmberg]

Put this together.

[Brady Bogan]

Comic book.

[Harlan Williams]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

They're trying to be. They're trying to be, like, topical.

[Brady Bogan]

Number nine. The first rule of fight club is you don't talk about Fight club. Number eight. With great power comes great responsibility. From Spider Man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right. The comic book people are in on there.

[Brady Bogan]

Number seven. Houston, we have a problem. From Apollo 13. Number six. I see dead people. Six sense. Number five. Toto. I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

[John Holmberg]

All right, starting to get into some real stuff here.

[Brady Bogan]

You shall not pass Lord of the Rings. The Fellowship of the Rings. I'll be back.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Terminator.

[Brady Bogan]

Number three. Number two from Dr. No.

[John Holmberg]

Bond. Bond. James Bond. And number one, I think they should make Schwarzenegger Bond. They keep looking for a new Bond, and they keep wanting diversity. Why not have.

[Brady Bogan]

I think, is one of the broccoli still alive?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The family, they.

[Brady Bogan]

They want a nobody.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they want somebody who's never heard of. They sold it to Amazon? I think so. I don't know how much pull she still has. I want Schwarzenegger to give me 70 year old bond.

[Brady Bogan]

They might have sold to him with that condition that they still picked him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'd like a drink. Over here they get to be shaken and unstead, if you don't mind. Hello there. My name is Bon. James Ban. He wouldn't do a very good job of like the classic lines. No, are you kidding? I want Pacino to do it. Pacino would be incredible.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, I'm a spy for the British people or something like that. And I'm thirsty as well. I'd like a martini shake and not stir. Also the name is Bond. For anyone curious. James Bond. And you've got a great ass. See, Works. It does work. I like that a lot. I think that would be pretty good. Hey everybody, let's solve some British magic mysteries. What do you say? Let's solve them. We'll get out there and do it right now. I don't know. I don't know if we're British enough. I don't. What are you doing here? I mean all your movies. What about Pesi? Yeah, I'm here too. I'm the bad guy. Where do you get the balls to ask me about British mysteries?

[Brady Bogan]

He's holding a cat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's petting that bald cat. What are you looking at? What? What are you doing? What's your name? Name? Oh, it's Bond. It's James Bond. We went over this. Anyway, I'm gonna take over the earth. He explained to me what the earth is. What are you saying? Taking over the earth. That's what I'm doing.

[Brady Bogan]

He's Blofeld.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's right. I'm blowfilled. This is my cat. Want to pet my ball? Who? We're getting a little blue. That's why they call me that. Anyway, I turned him into Billy Crystal. Crystal. All right. Well, there you go. That's the entertainment. Jolly. Yeah, I would like that. Other bonds like famous people being. But I don't want to go the nobody route like real bonds that are famous that you wouldn't expect to be Bonds would be more Gene Simmons.

[Brady Bogan]

Could be a good Bond.

[John Holmberg]

It would be an amazing Bond. Jew. Bond. Stocks and Bond. That's what that would be. Stocks and Bond. My name is Bond. Drew Bond. I mean James Bond. That would be a good one. Timothy Olant. Somebody's even said that. Just that he's on the list for that. That kid's gonna be massive. Austin Butler would be an incredible bond. That dude is great at stuff. Could still be Elvis, but it would be good. It's 9:32. We've got William Shatner tickets to give away for next Thursday night for the William Shatner Q and A that I'll be hosting with Frank Kendo. And we watch a Wrath of Khan before. Oh, Star Trek 2, Wrath of Con Khan. Then the great William Shatner comes out and does his hour and it's unbelievable. So we got tickets to that. We'll give those away. If you're a girl or a boy, we need one of each of those things. And we'll play the Guadalupe squares next. 585-9800 is the number we'll catch on the Squares next. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said Fully Erect. Still streaming Hberg's morning sickness [e-mail] it is just that time right now for the Guadalupe Squares. And here's your host of said squares, Mr. Thriller wall.

[Harlan Williams]

Thriller.

[John Holmberg]

Chancellor. Let's begin. The voice of 98kupd, David Lee.

[Harlan Williams]

How you doing?

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. Thriller. Thriller. Walsh is here today. Temporary Fish. Phoenix. Moscow. Thriller. Where do you lie Politically? Wherever you want me to. I want you to tell me the truth. Where do you lie? Whoever you think is winning the world. You are correct. Your mother took a lot of Tylenol. Baby. Thriller. That's very possible. I never asked her. That's very possible. Do you have any theories you want me to help you with? Well, they're all true. Are there any theories? It's an excellent point. I like this kid quite a bit. Phoenix. Did he take. Did you take the jab? I had to. I had to. You had to? Why did you have to? Cuz Obama said so. Sheep boy. Would she be an improvement at this point, half wise? Probably. So what do you think about where Barack Obama was born? Clearly in the Middle East. Am I wrong? That wasn't there, man. I think that's probably true. And don't get me started about Hunter Biden's laptop. Oh, you want just a laptop? There's a lot more with him.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't worry.

[John Holmberg]

The laptop is bad news. For the bad news.

[Brady Bogan]

Go for a moonwalk.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, if we ever went to the moon, maybe we could. But I don't think we were ever there. False word. Tempe Franix. All right, now over to our top middle square. Jimmy Fallon still look best fallen. Oh, my God. I'm feeling a little bit better. Thrill. I feel. Okay, we got a couple new guests on the show tonight. We got RFK Jr. Oh, my God. We've got Alex Jones. Oh, no. What's happening? Who's handing me this note? I am. Get your show in order. Okay, tonight on Fallon, RFK junior Alex Jones and Mary David. Larry in my Wrangler jeans. Tappy Ferdicks. Okay, we'll do it. We're gonna go crazy. Right wing to defeat Gutfeld. I can't stand that Joe Biden. Call me Mom. Downey, it's the president of New York now. And I just won't live there anymore. We're moving the show to la. Screw it, we're moving the show to Texas. Okay, there you go. That's better. Yeah. Are you a communist? No, no. Have you ever been a communist? No, but jab vote for the Zohan. He lived at his parents house for free this weekend and stole their food. That's commie stuff. No hook for Zohan. Better be careful there, Fallon, or the Clintons will try to kill you. Well, hope the show goes well for you. But now over to our top right square President Trump. That's exactly right. Had a rough week this week. Didn't do well. Really didn't do well in the. In the off year election. It's because. You know why Trump wasn't on the ballot? All those Republicans won when I won. Is that right, Brett? That's exactly right, sir. Thank you, Brett. I was on the ballot last year and look what happened. Everything was red, like Toledo's bedroom. Everything turned bright red. Commie red, they say. And then. And of course I'm not a commie. And now this shirt not on the ballot. And look what's happened. Hey, it's gone haywire.

[Brady Bogan]

We're afraid of tariffs.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. Tariffs, tariffs, tariffs. Come in, Mandani. I'm gonna have to deal with that for a while as he just ruins New York. New York was, Brett was the most populated city in America. And you now it's. Now it's the 18th largest one. Everyone's already moved out. They're already gone. That's exactly right. They're all moving to Florida. They're moving to Florida and they're down there in Texas. They love Texas. Texas is a great place to live. Got that wheelie governor. I like him. I like the one that wheels. It's like. It's like Magneto is in charge of Texas and that makes Me excited because I like movies.

[Brady Bogan]

You got a nice spot in Florida.

[John Holmberg]

I got a Mar a Lago. Brady's talking about Mar a Lago. It's a great spot down in Florida. And you know what's great about it? Commie Free since 93. That's what we say. Never had a comedy who. How's your golf stroke going? Golf is good. The stroke is. How's your stroke going? Thank you.

[Brady Bogan]

Good one.

[John Holmberg]

They're all good ones, Brady. I got nothing to do. Government shut down. I'm just writing material. We lost a lot of elections, a lot of them. Jack Schitterelli didn't make it to the top spot in New York.

[Brady Bogan]

Your guy.

[John Holmberg]

That's my guy. I liked. I liked him. I know Jack Shitarelli. I like him a lot. I know him very well. Good guy. Great guy, actually. Really good guy. All right. Well, excellent. Jack Schiarelli. It's just fun to say. Try it at home. Do it in your car.

[Brady Bogan]

So close.

[John Holmberg]

Do it in your car. Jack Cittarelli. Should have been something you vote Citterelli. Always do. All right, now over to our middle left square, Fellow Bronco owner, O.J. simpson. Hey, how you doing, Juice? Did I know somebody on this show bought a Bronco?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, John did.

[Harlan Williams]

Can I borrow him?

[John Holmberg]

Good luck with that. That is synonymous with chopping the woods at all.

[Brady Bogan]

Everyone's driving it.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody's out there driving that Bronco like they forgot. New York said they'd never forget. And they. They elected Middle Eastern Islamic. They got the building. And now people driving Broncos like it's fun again. People forget everything. And I tell you what. I wouldn't get the Bronco to save my ass. That thing bad news. Easy to spot on the freeway too. I thought it would be a little not fast, that's for sure. I kind of wish I had that loud sound like John's has inside. Because then the cops wouldn't have heard AC Telling everybody where we were going. I might be. Still. Anyway, so you got a problem with the lady? They buy that woman a Bronco. There's plenty of storage space, right? Gotta send that message. And there's no blood on this Bronco yet. But they're. As my experience is, they all eventually get a little bit bloody.

[Brady Bogan]

Should John wear driver gloves?

[John Holmberg]

Always wear gloves, I'll tell you that. Wear gloves everywhere. And Lee, I know where you put them at the end of the day. You never take your gloves off and just chuck them in Kato's room. Kato a title too. We all know that.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what I've heard.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you chuck him up there and you hit Kato's building. You think that he would ignore it, but then he goes and finds your bloody Bronco gloves. And next thing you know, your Bronco is being towed away. I'm just saying, that's how Broncos work. Yeah. Enjoy your Bronco John. It should be a good fight. You gotta kill somebody. I'm just saying. All right.

[Harlan Williams]

Pick me.

[John Holmberg]

All right, over to the middle square, we have alien fighter Brady. That's right. MI Atlas is coming. Oh, my Atlas. I didn't know if you meant airst. Yes, I am. I am Atlas. I'm a man. Yeah, they're coming to get us. And I think I'm gonna fight them off. Are you on my team, Thriller? Sure, we're both human.

[Brady Bogan]

Well.

[John Holmberg]

We'Re both missing a word. Okay, we're both down a peg. We're both down a peg for sure. I'm gonna kick ET's ass. Well, he barely walks. He's like me for better. Phone home and say goodbye. Cause that's the last time you're gonna talk to those people. You little prick. Flying your big ship around here. I know you got bad plans. Am I? Atlas comes in my house for my brisket. Forget it. I will offer them some gravy, but if they don't eat it, I don't trust them. That's how it works. You take on ET can you take a xenomorph? A xenomorph? Yeah, I gotta do some studying. What the heck? Is that from Alien? Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, you're right. Those are the scarier ones. Yeah, but they're never here, are they? They're always up there. For now, I'm not going up there. The only thing happens up there is your anus gets probed.

[Brady Bogan]

There's bad barbecues.

[John Holmberg]

That's like going on the second floor of Bob Ray's house. House? You ever get off terra firma? The next thing you know it's bad news. I'm Brady Wan Kenobi. May the forks be with you. Bring it on, alien bitches. I'm your nightmare in shining armor. Oh, gosh. All right, well, good luck to you there, Brady. I'm Flush Gordon. I got a lot of juice flowing through this body. Flush. Dun, dun, dun, dun, Gordon. All right, go ahead. I hate aliens, man. Middle right square. Now over to Gordon Ramsay. I am sitting next to the dumbest man in the world. You're going to offer them gravy without any polenta or potatoes? Just gravy why wouldn't I? That seems like something they would like. I love gravy. I like sauce. You've got to dip it in something. Donkey. Happy birthday.

[Brady Bogan]

Go, Go.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. Thank you, Brady. I love my new nickname from Brady. Go, Go. He calls me Go, Go in the cutest way. He's not a donkey anymore. He's cute. He's adorable. We all love him. Poke him in the belly immediately. Thriller. I'll wait for the 15 minutes it takes you to cross the room. Have you ever considered being a chef? No, not good. I'd get in the way. Yes, like every other job you've got. All right, well, over now, that's about enough of that, Ramsay. Now over to the bottom, middle, bottom left square. Brady, secret square. Give us a hint. Hi, guys.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm 50 years old.

[John Holmberg]

I'm an actress.

[Brady Bogan]

I was an American pie. But let's talk sharknado.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I know you.

[Harlan Williams]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Your boobs out. Her boobs fall out of her shirt sometimes. All right, now do the bottom, middle, square. William Shatner ahead of the show. I believe that this game hybrid. Hey, we're playing. We're playing the game today with tickets to see me. Isn't that wonderful?

[Brady Bogan]

Next Thursday.

[John Holmberg]

Tickets for me. They're going to see me.

[Brady Bogan]

It's cool you came out here so early.

[John Holmberg]

Came out early to see me. I look in the mirror every morning and do a show for an hour. There I am. Look at him. Sexy. How about Homburg and Caliendo? They'll be up there as well. But me, I have never been on a show. A game show, but I've done plenty of game shows. But I've ever been on one where the prize is actually me.

[Brady Bogan]

I wanted to thank you for the teleporter.

[John Holmberg]

You're very welcome. Shall I send you away?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Where's Brady? Oh, I'm over here at Bulldog Spas. I believe it's Bullfrog. That's right. Bullfrog Spas. Because a bulldog would sink. That's a bad mascot for water park. I think we should teleport it back over. Brady, would you like to see two tickets to me?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You can't have them. You could just see the tickets. They're for someone else. Tickets to me? Thriller. Have you ever seen me before? I have seen you. Yes. Live. Not live. On a stage. Yes. Where? I think it was just I saw footage of some Comic Con. Fascinating. Yeah, You're a great storyteller. Of course, I could listen to you all day, but people don't want to. They want to hear me telling stories about who?

[Brady Bogan]

Me.

[John Holmberg]

And I will do exactly that. Stories about me?

[Brady Bogan]

No, stories about Scotty.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell a story about Scotty as it pertains to me. Pov. Shatner's point of view is the more important point of view. When you ask Shatner, if you were to ask Scotty his point of Scotty pretending to me, it would be Scotty's pov. Nobody pays for Scotty. They pay for me. What aren't you understanding here? Prize is to see me. This game should be over. Everyone should go. And of course, Caliendo and Holmberg were Peter as well.

[Brady Bogan]

Couple of Mamby Pambies.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, Mamby Pambies standing next to me. Denny Crane. All right there, sir. Now over to the bottom right square, our Lord and Savior Tripper. Yeah. Oh, yeah. How are you doing this morning, Thriller?

[Harlan Williams]

I'm doing all right.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna come down here and do the NAU game on Sunday? Oh, actually, it's a Saturday. His job is a dare and he won't quit. I put things in front of him. I can't believe he shows up and does ladies volleyball on the radio. Radio Thriller and the guy shows up. You should take calls during the lady volleyball game. We have ladies basketball. I want to know the perverts that listen to lady volleyball on the radio. On AM radio. Oh, there's no one I want to know personally that ever says the phrase, hey, did you hear that volleyball game on the radio the other day?

[Brady Bogan]

Of all five?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That guy's got bodies in his shed. Or maybe he drives a truck with a house built on the back of it. I know who that is. Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. All right, who's on the line, then? Got Scott and Lori. Scott, are you there? Right here.

[Brady Bogan]

Come here.

[John Holmberg]

You're not. You're Lori. And you do this every time. Stop it. Lori, you're there, obviously as well. Yep. All right, Lori, pick a square. Go ahead. Let's go with alien fighter Brady. That's right. You want to find aliens with me, Lori? Oh, yeah. Let's do it.

[Brady Bogan]

Heck, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What's your weapon of choice against the alien intruders? Probably my.22. That wouldn't even stop a kid. You mean to tell me that somebody that traveled intergalactically in a spaceship, the best thing you've got to stop them is a.22? We don't know, do we? Now, I'm gonna put you in a gold bikini and tie on a chain, and you're gonna stand next to me and I'll be Brady the Hut. And you'll be Princess. You'll be Princess Leia. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

There. And then you'll take the top off. Take your top off. Oh, boy. Yeah, Lori, take them off. And then we're gonna do a sequel called Return of the Jerky. Oh, that's right. We're gonna go back to that little Russian guy shack on the side of. What is that? Wrecker Road, and we're gonna grab us some jerky. We're gonna eat it for strength against the aliens. All right, I got a question for you. All right. Fighting aliens with a.22. We're gonna lose. Canadians consume more Mac and cheese than any other country per capita. True or false? It's called Kraft Dinner there. Did you know that? How do you know that? Cause I know food, man. You know Canadian food? Yeah. And I've been to Canada and I ate too much macaroni and cheese. And if the aliens came while I was up there doing that, I'd be Barf Vader because I got so sick on Canadian crappy Mac and cheese. It was horrible. Kraft dinner, they say, would you like some Kraft Dinner?

[Harlan Williams]

Eh.

[Brady Bogan]

Brackets.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. Okay. And you go eat the Kraft Dinner, and you're like, this isn't American Mac and Cheese. And they say, no, it's Kraft Dinner. You can tell the difference. Yeah, you can't. Is your palate and your leg the same? Both useless. Kraft dinner. I'll say that.

[Brady Bogan]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

They eat a lot of that stuff. Okay, you're saying true now. Lori, do you agree or disagree with true? True.

[Harlan Williams]

I. I disagree.

[John Holmberg]

Incorrect. Circle to the center. Told you, Lori, it's food. It's food in Canada. You think I haven't been to Canada and eaten today? Cuz I have. You could teleport there. I could go there. Watch this. I'm going to.

[Brady Bogan]

Hold on.

[John Holmberg]

Hi, are you Bob Evans or Torn Tom? Tim Hortons. Do we have for national tones, please? Okay, I'll be right right back. Okay, here's your Tim Hortons poutine donuts. Oh, thank you. Oh, man, that's good. Is it all right? No K. All right, over to Scott here. Make a choice. I go with Trump.

[Brady Bogan]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta go with Trump. Said America many times. Every Friday now. Gotta go. Did you vote for me there, man caller? Yeah, you did. Because you're a man. Did your wife vote? Do you have a good wife that listens?

[Harlan Williams]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And she's not like Toledo's wife. Call Me, mom, Danny.

[Harlan Williams]

I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. When she has her period. It's the big Red Sea, they call it over there. It's the Red Sea. It's the red tsunami. Really? She just bleeds it out. It's like when Moses. What was that? The red parting of the Red Sea. That's what happens at Toledo's house when he spreads legs. It's getting too far, I admit it. It's that time of month. It's time to part. Kami Mumdani's Red Sea. And that's what Toledo has to do. That's right. That's right. Walk right through. Walk right through. You walk right through it. Because it's everybody's. It's communist. Everybody gets a swing. All right, question for you, sir. A cow's moo has an accent based on where in the world that was raised. True or false? So, Pepe Lepus, cows that used to say lay moo. That was ra.

[Brady Bogan]

Real.

[John Holmberg]

I think that might have been real. I'm asking you, man. Sometimes the period is spotty. And I believe we call that spotty. Mom Dani, she's a spotty commie. That one made me a little ill. Not going to lie. That kind of got gross. All right, I'll say that a cow's moo is a cow's moo. I've heard an Indian moo, and afterwards it didn't say my friend or no, no, no.

[Brady Bogan]

Was his name Moo?

[John Holmberg]

His name may have been Moo. Moo the cow. Then he'd say, what's your name? And he'd say, moo. And it was like a trick, but it wasn't anyway. All right, so you're saying. I'll say that's false. I think all cows sound the same. All right? And I know that sounds racist, but they do. They don't look alike. All the. No, they're different. There's big ones, the horny ones, and the non hornies, the milkies. I like the milky cows. I like a milky cow. I like a cow. The black and white, the Holsteins. Big fan. Black. Black and white cows love trump. They're the best trump steaks. Black and white cows. I eat the black cows first. I love to eat a black cow. As I understand it, black cows won't eat each other. The black cows, the black bulls don't eat the black cows. That's a rumor.

[Harlan Williams]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how true it is, But I watched CB4 and they made that joke, and I'm like, that Must be true. I don't know. All right, sir, so you're saying false now, Scott, do you agree or disagree? Agree with false. I agree. Incorrect gets the square. All right. Wow. Going back to Lori here. Make your choice. All right, let's go with Trip. Read Trip Reeb. Okay? Yeah. How are you, Laurie? And fantastic. Lori, I've asked you before and I don't remember. What do you do for a living? I stay at home and take care of the house. Oh. Oh. What does your husband. Husband do? Nothing. I'm not married. Who's paying for stuff? I can tell you who. Toledo's Kami Mumdani. The government is paying for you, isn't it? You get government loans, don't you? Something like that. She's on the go. I see how it works. You just take care of the house. Nice work. Is the house taken care of? Yeah, it is. And when I say the house, I mean, you know, is it taken care of. Do the carpets match the drapes? No. Has the lawn been mowed? In a minute. None of your business. It isn't any of my business, but I'll make it my business. Yeah. She lives alone. She doesn't go anywhere. She's got commie money. You can help her out. I'll help you. You. Question for you, sir. You can rob from the rich if you want. Talking to yourself actually improves the efficiency of your brain. At True or false. H. Do you have a backyard cuz I'm a turf monster. Yeah, turf monster. A dot com. Talking to yourself, doc? What makes your brain more efficient? True falls. Yeah, you get to know you. Yeah, I see Larry doing it all the time. I think he might need help. Yeah, he's efficient to a degree. Yeah, go ahead. All right, though. So you're saying true now, Laurie, do you agree or disagree with true? I agree. Correct. Well, there you go. Gets the square. Now, Scott could take Gordon Ramsay for the block.

[Harlan Williams]

Doesn't do it.

[John Holmberg]

Of course. You have to take me for the block. You'll kill someone otherwise. What are you doing, donkey? I ask you.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What's the last meal you had? Oh, you need protein. Granola bar. Granola bar is not gonna do it for you. Chicken. Chicken granola bar. That sounds. Throw it down. Shut it down. Who made chicken granola? Who's doing it? You're going to get us closed down. Next thing will be Porkopolis. Nobody wants that. All right, go ahead. Okay, question for you here. More than 200,000Americans are injured each year carving pumpkins. True or false? Hey, Laurie, it's Trip again.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Hi. Hi. Hey, by the way, I don't know if you need a good coding, but I'd like to help you out with my friends from desertcoating. AZ.com advertising is more important than dirty. I'll do in your house. I can't believe he did that. Red Brady's joke. Unbelievable. You're going to get us killed. Kez's ratings went through the roof just then. I'll say. Did you ask yet? I did. Yes. Okay, I know what you've asked me is false. I don't remember what. Okay, so you are saying false. Now, Scott here for the block, do you agree or disagree with false? I disagree. Then you're incorrect. Exit's a square. She's the winner. Lori wins. Lori. So what does she want? Thriller. Yes. I want to know what she's won. What does she want? She's won tickets. Tickets to me. Tickets to me. She must love you, sir. Aye, thanks. She does what? I have no idea what that says. Brady's handed me a note that I think Michael J. Fox would like write better. What does that say?

[Brady Bogan]

Trip. Miss Music.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Trip. Well, that Trip Mass. It looked like Trip Moss music like it was a Spanish lasers at. Yeah, here comes Peter Cottontail hopping down your bunny. Is that Christmas? I don't know, but I'm going in. All right, let's get out of here. Trip's a pervert. Cows have accents. That's real. Yes, according to Toledo. Yeah, according to this. The sheet that Toledo wrote by hand. Huh? Must be some commie answer. That's a common. Yeah, his wife made him say that. Yeah, it's the. It's the DEI cow program, friend. I gotta hear that. That's not real. That's kind of the life, though, getting born as an Indian cow. They won't hurt you. Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? They won't hurt your cats or the Indians? No, like, just saying, like, you know, they praise, you know, cows. They love cows. Yes. So you think that changes their accent? No, what I'm saying is, like, if you get born as one, then you have a nice life as an Indian. As an Indian, it might make sense.

[Brady Bogan]

Different. Different.

[John Holmberg]

Keep saying a four day work week. Yeah. All I know is both the Indians of India and the cows of India in the drinking water. So I'm not interested in either one. Kevin the cow, huh? Yeah, my friend. You are very late on your payments, my friend. Moo, Moo, moo, Moo. Yeah, but that time it's mooster card. Yeah, you've been hanging out with Brady. You too? Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

Good one, Cory.

[John Holmberg]

Take a very slow, unhealthy lap.

[Harlan Williams]

Holy.

[John Holmberg]

Although it made me laugh because it was so stupid. Nice job, Corey. Corey will be doing women's volleyball over on the 1060. Whatever. Nobody. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. It could be women sewing. It's not gonna get a single listener. Not one. Am I right? We get some. Hit the. Hit the mic. In the middle of the whole game, there's another shot. Miss two girls down, and they just come on the air and go. Is anyone listening at all? And I guarantee you your phones do not light up. No one. Oh, we get people on the app, though, Though. Call me. No one's on the app. You think they're making it harder on themselves to listen? We have solid app numbers. 2, 6, 0, 10 60. Call me if you're out there. I think I'm alone. And that phone stays dead dry. No one's listening to that. Please, by all means. From Sanjay. Sanjay, our Indian friend says I love eating cow. He's not a real one. I know. It's a guy with. With a. Looks like Johnny Quest's partner. All right, that's it. Larry's coming up next. He's got money for you guys. $3,000, in fact, part of Larry's excellent adventure as we just hand out money like crazy all damn day. While Corey goes down to a radio station that still thrives playing women's knitting circles. Tonight on Katie West. Ladies drinking wine. Five o', clock, Tim Be freedom. All right, that's it. We're good. We're done. You guys have a good one. We'll see you on Monday right here in the morning sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

Bye.

[John Holmberg]

Arizona's most powerful ROC radio station. He said fully erected.