Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Harland Williams In-Studio (Tempe Improv)

Date: November 7, 2025
Host(s): John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Guest: Harland Williams (Comedian)

Episode Overview

This episode features comedian and actor Harland Williams, in town for performances at the Tempe Improv. The conversation, driven by Holmberg and the morning crew, explores Harland's recent experiences on stage, wild crowd interactions, his thoughts on wealth and comedy, nostalgia for movie theaters, and Harland's forthcoming film project. The tone is playful and irreverent, with classic Harland Williams absurdity throughout.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Harland's Tempe Improv Experiences

• Harland recaps a bizarre audience interaction from his show: asking an audience member if he'd ever been shot led to a story about being shot through the nose (01:36–03:32).
  • Quote: “If you can't shoot out a deviated septum, it ain't going away.” – Harland Williams (01:13)
• Harland describes his love for riffing with the audience and shares another moment involving a CAT scan technician and a wordplay joke about working with dogs (02:24–02:37).

2. “Are You a Billionaire?” Banter

• The crew jokes about rumors among fellow comedians (Craig Gass and Adam Ray) that Harland is a billionaire due to his reputation for smart investments and successful side ventures (04:09–04:41).
  • Quote: "Well, I mean, I'm not a billionaire by any means. No, really? No, no, no. A billionaire? Maybe Chappelle is. That’s not me.” – Harland Williams (04:44)
• Harland explains his commitment to comedy, saying even if he were a billionaire, he’d still do stand-up and radio to connect with audiences (05:12–05:54).
  • Quote: “If I’m a billionaire and I just sit in my basement and don’t reach out to the public... they’re not really going to be... it’s like, ‘Oh, let’s go see Elon do stand up.’” – Harland Williams (05:12)

3. What Would a Harland Billionaire Spend His Money On?

• Harland describes a fantasy of buying and restoring an old movie theater, complete with mannequins and animatronics to replicate the classic experience (07:00–08:42).
  • Quote: “I would buy, like, a vintage movie theater… refurbish it, make it nice, have the snack bar, and I'd get mannequins... celebrity mannequins.” (07:00–08:15)
• The group riffs on the theater being populated with animatronic homeless mannequins for realism, and joke about the sounds and smells of modern cinema versus nostalgia (08:45–09:52).

4. Movie Theater Nostalgia and Pranks

• Harland and the hosts share stories of old movie-going mischief: pranking friends with hidden jalapeños, and throwing sticky Whoppers at the screen for fun (12:27–14:01).
  • Quote: “We bought three boxes of Whoppers. I mean, just 90 mile an hour heaters into the screen, and they’d stick for half a second and then just roll down.” – Brett (13:10)

5. Absurd Interview Questions: Closest to Getting AIDS?

• Holmberg introduces his new “signature” interview question about risky life choices and absurdly asks Harland the closest he’s come to catching AIDS (14:23–19:19).
  • Quote: “I think it was that time when I was in Haiti and I was having sex with a monkey.” – Harland Williams (14:30)
• This launches an extended bit about “movie AIDS” (from shaking hands with Tom Hanks), pretend AIDS, and vampire metaphors, mixing edgy comedy with wordplay (17:00–18:11, 18:38–19:08).

6. Wordplay: Commas, Parentheses, Seafood, and Canadianisms

• Harland riffs on eating “commas” (shrimp) and debates grammar terms (brackets vs. parentheses), spinning these into a bizarre but hilarious tangent (19:27–21:24).
  • Quote: “Have you ever had a shrimp cocktail? Those little pink … they’re commas of the sea.” – Harland Williams (19:37)

7. Texting, Landlines, and Modern Communication

• Conversation shifts to the decline of phone calls in favor of texting, with Harland expressing nostalgia for talking on a landline because of the comfort and reliability (23:45–24:20).
  • Quote: “Actually talking on a landline, to me it’s like comfort food.” – Harland Williams (24:04)
• He elaborates on still having a landline for practical (electric gate) and emotional reasons.

8. Harland’s Film Project: ‘Wingman’

• Harland announces he’s about to release a new comedy feature film, ‘Wingman’, which he wrote, directed, starred in, and even composed music for (25:04–30:05).
  • The film took 15 years from conception to production, stars Russell Peters, Jamie Kennedy, and Kayla Wallace.
  • Quote: “I wrote it, directed, starred in it… It came out really good. We’re just settling up the distribution deal.” – Harland Williams (25:11)
• Premise: A runaway groom hires a highly unorthodox "professional wingman" (Harland) to both find new women and possibly win back his ex.
  • Comedic highlights include an albino koala and rubbing fried chicken on oneself as a pickup strategy.
• Harland expresses pride in the film and excitement about test screening responses (29:17–30:05).

9. Animal Tangents: Flamingos and Nature

• The discussion spins off into nature weirdness, including why flamingos have it rough and absurd made-up animal names for airplanes (31:01–32:04).
  • Quote: “What chance do you have in nature when you’re born pink?” – Harland Williams (31:34)

10. Harland’s Philosophy and Podcast Plug

• Harland leaves on an optimistic note:
  • Quote: “Live life, don’t let life live you… Grab what you want in life. Live it, and don’t let life take you on its journey. You take life on its journey by your standards and your dreams.” (32:18–32:38)
• Plugs his podcast "The Harland Highway" and promises a special prank episode with Sal Vulcano (33:04).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you can’t shoot out a deviated septum, it ain’t going away.” (01:13)
• “If I’m a billionaire and I just sit in my basement and don’t reach out to the public... It’s like, ‘Oh, let’s go see Elon do stand up.’” (05:12)
• “Have you ever had a shrimp cocktail? Those little pink … they’re commas of the sea.” (19:37)
• “Live life, don’t let life live you.” (32:18)
• On AIDS vampires: “The tough thing about AIDS vampires is they can get you night or day… It doesn’t have to be nighttime.” (16:42–17:04)

Important Segment Timestamps

• Tempe Improv Show Stories – 01:28–03:38
• Billionaire Rumors/Comedy Motivation – 04:09–05:54
• Movie Theater Fantasies & Manniquins – 07:00–08:42
• Movie Mischief Nostalgia – 12:27–14:01
• AIDS Question Bit – 14:23–19:19
• Grammar Wordplay – 19:27–21:24
• Texting vs. Calling – 23:45–24:20
• Harland’s Movie ‘Wingman’ – 25:04–30:05
• Flamingos/Nature Tangent – 31:01–32:04
• Parting Wisdom/Podcast Plug – 32:18–33:14

Tone and Style

The episode is filled with surreal humor, irreverent wordplay, and campfire-style storytelling. Harland Williams’ whimsical, random-comedy energy pairs with the morning crew’s playful antagonism, making for a fast-paced, laughter-filled hour. As always, the tone veers into the absurd in true Holmberg’s Morning Sickness style, but with enough genuine insight that listeners get a real sense of Harland’s creativity, outlook, and career energy.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a wild, wholly entertaining ride through stand-up stories, comedy rumors, the weirdness of modern communication, and the labor of making comedy films. Harland’s off-the-cuff wisdom and surreal spin on everyday topics makes it an engaging listen for comedy fans and anyone curious about the inner world of touring comics.

For more from Harland Williams, check out “The Harland Highway” podcast (YouTube, new episodes Tuesdays).