11-07-25 - Playdio 2025 Is Now Full - Miss Universe Contestant Sings Death Metal And She's Beautiful Until Bret Points Out She Might Be A Fastback - John Pulled The Trigger On A New Bronco But Was Worried About The Piped In Engine Sounds From The Subw...

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode Summary: 11-07-25 – Playdio 2025 Is Now Full, Miss Universe Death Metal, and Bronco Engine Fakes

Date: November 7, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness begins with the crew celebrating Playdio 2025 being officially full and discussing this year’s lineup of local bands. However, the conversation spills into humorously passionate territory about a Chilean Miss Universe contestant who sings death metal, then takes an unexpectedly deep dive into the male fixation on the “ideal ass.” The show rounds out with John’s story on buying a new Ford Bronco—complete with baffling, piped-in fake engine noise—and a ribbing of car culture’s embrace of artificial performance. As always, the crew’s banter mixes friendly mocking, local flavor, and the kind of comedy that’s both self-aware and unapologetically “guy talk.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Playdio 2025 – Local Music Scene & The Elusive Superstar

[01:11–03:35]

• Playdio, KUPD’s local band contest, is set with 31 bands for the 2025 competition.
• John revisits former Playdio winners, discussing their post-competition trajectories:
  • Miles to Nowhere: Took their win and didn’t try for a repeat. “Typical broads. They took their win and they left. Didn’t even try for the back to back and shove it down the throat of all other local bands and musicians.” (John Holmberg, 02:39)
  • Bear Ghost: Showed promise, but internal relationship drama caused a breakup.
• John and Bret joke about the uninspiring list of new band names.

The Chilean Death Metal Beauty Queen

[04:15–13:55]

• John stuns the room by playing audio of a death metal vocalist—then reveals she’s a Chilean Miss World contestant.
  • “No, no, no, it’s not a dude. That is the most beautiful woman I’ve seen ever doing this… She’s a supermodel hot. Her name is Ignacio Fernandez.” (John Holmberg, 04:16)
• The group obsesses over beauty queen Ignacia Fernández, who fronts a prog-death metal band named Deceasus.
• Extensive, comedic debate on whether Ignacia is “the total package,” focusing on the photos where she covers her backside with her purse.
  • “She might be a fastback… You think she might be a fastback? I don’t know. It doesn’t look great in that picture…” (John Holmberg & Bret Vesely, 07:22)
• The crew’s tongue-in-cheek analysis argues that women without “an ass” know it and never show that angle—“A girl with a nice ass always shows you that ass.” (John Holmberg, 10:17)
• Bret punctures the fantasy: “No ass is a dealbreaker. Might as well be a boy.” (09:00)
• John muses on the existential significance: “You should be able to get a handicap tag if you’ve got no ass. That’s like missing an arm. How come assless people don’t get special treatment?” (John Holmberg, 12:50)
• Reflection on how social standards and Instagram culture perpetuate showing off one’s “best assets.”

Death Metal, Gender, and Judging Female Performers

[13:26–18:04]

• The hosts remark on the incongruity of a beautiful woman with a guttural metal voice, and joke about “maybe she’s a man” if her butt isn’t up to standard.
• John shares anecdotes about women dressing to display their assets and the double standard where men are called “perverts” for looking, but women deliberately wear revealing outfits.

Buying the New Ford Bronco and the Fake Engine

[20:10–38:32]

• John shares he finally bought a new Ford Bronco, creating comedic tension in his “interracial 70s relationship” garage (he now parks a Jeep and a Bronco together).
  • “It’s a DEI garage right now… Jeeps in the Bronco, they’re getting along, but there’s definitely a little tension…” (John Holmberg, 21:17)
• The discovery: The Bronco comes with piped-in, artificially loud engine noise through the subwoofer to simulate a power engine—but only inside the car.
  • “When you hit the gas, it’s making so much noise. Outside: totally quiet. Inside: deafeningly dumb.” (John Holmberg, 22:30)
  • “Why would you want your engine to blow you out of your interior?” (John Holmberg, 23:18)
• John finds this “douchebag feature” absurd, comparing it to wearing “a penis extender and actually believing you have a huge one,” or “a woman faking an orgasm” for herself. (Kyle, read by John, 39:35)
• Humorous musing:
  • “If you bought a house and it had no back door, it wouldn’t be up to code. You have to have an ingress and egress in the back too.” (John Holmberg, 16:16)
  • “Just have it do the daily affirmations. You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and people like you. I got the coolest car in the world and no one knows it but me. Isn’t that like having an invisible friend?” (John Holmberg, 32:11)
• John learns the feature can be turned off with a program called “Forscan” (Kyle, 39:35).

Additional Notable Segments

• The crew quickly detours into why some female comedians and Instagram stars exaggerate their posing to show off their butts.
• Light riffing on car engines, muscle cars, why V8s are dying out (thanks, Greta Thunberg and emissions regulations), and men’s persistent desire for status-signaling engine growls.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Playdio ambition:

  • “Typical broads. They took their win and they left. Didn’t even try for the back to back and shove it down the throat of all other local bands and musicians.” — John Holmberg (02:39)

• On Miss Chile death metal singer:

  • “She is a supermodel hot… If she came in second, I wanna see what won.” — John Holmberg (04:16–05:18)
  • “If that glorious girl says I want to sing in your death metal band, you’re like: yup, you’re in. You’re gonna make us famous. For just a minute, anyway.” — John Holmberg (07:21)
  • “You ruined her. Even girls with nice asses can’t stop turning around in pictures...” — John Holmberg (10:17)

• On artificial car features:

  • “It’s play pretend time inside the car… We’re not doing anything special, we’re going 14 miles per hour, and it’s going to sound like we’re in an F19.” — John Holmberg (26:48)
  • “If your brain is so easily fooled that you need that noise in your car to think you bought a big engine, you’re an insane person.” — John Holmberg (25:49)

• On male/female double standards:

  • “Any girl that takes a straight-on picture knows something’s wrong back there.” — John Holmberg (17:45)
  • “Your boobs are out and you’re wearing a Baymax dress. You look like a singular human being with… That is your skin. And we’re not allowed… But you’re the one trying to get your areola to peek out the top.” — John Holmberg (19:04)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Playdio 2025 lineup and reflections: [01:11–04:00]
• Miss Chile death metal segment: [04:15–13:55]
• The “No Ass” debate and Instagram culture: [08:16–12:50]
• Car Buying Story – Ford Bronco and engine noise: [20:10–38:32]
• On the psychology of fake engine sounds: [23:58–32:32]
• Turning off the fake engine, tech details: [39:32–40:15]

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The Original Tone

As always, the gang delivers their takes with an irreverent, sometimes self-deprecating humor. Their commentary is part affectionate ribbing, part genuine observation on cultural trends, and always hyper-aware of their own “guy-ness.” From the highly specific conversation about “what makes a woman hot” to their puzzlement at the absurdities of modern car manufacturing, Holmberg and company keep the banter rolling, rarely missing a beat (or a punchline).

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For New Listeners

This episode is a great showcase of HMS’s blend of local Arizona flavor, sharp observational humor, and intentionally unfiltered male perspectives—packing real-life anecdotes, pop culture riffs, and outlandish metaphors, all with a self-aware wink.

If you want to hear:

• What a morning show thinks about music competitions actually “making” a band,
• Why a Miss Chile semi-finalist who sings death metal set off a debate on Instagram beauty strategies and “ass science,”
• And how fake car engine noises break the masculine psyche,

…this is the episode to tune into!

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

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[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] thank you quite kindly there miles to nowhere. It's Katie and the Hobbs boy, winners of last year's Playdoh. And I'm holding in my hand this year's, this year's Palladio 30. The Palladio slots are all full. There are 31. Actually, we got 31 bands in 31 of them. And it will begin the week of Thanksgiving. The Monday of Thanksgiving week we start Plato, our annual attempt to find the needle in the haystack in music locally, to try to be the ones that break that band and give them some extra spins and some time and some promotion and so far been a couple. Christopher Shane popped. We got him going a little bit, except for he's still saying it. My night of the singing dead as a guest. So it hasn't gone too crazy for the guy. We had the guys from Bear Ghost. That looked like promising for a little while until they started fighting with each other and then they broke up. That was a fun good ready to go band. Like those guys were gonna explode. And then one of them started yelling at another one about most time as girls and relationships and they accused one of doing Terrible things. And then next thing you know, there's no bear goes. But now, right now we got Miles to Nowhere. It's been a few of them. I've been waiting to go and they just haven't happened.

[Brett Vesely]

Are they going for a repeat? Did we know?

[John Holmberg]

Let me see. Are they on here? It would be nice if they were. Yeah. If not. Oh, I've gone through 21, page three. Let's see if they're there. If not, Miles to Nowhere is a one time winner. No Miles to Nowhere on this list. They did not get in. They did not submit for. They didn't go for. Typical broads. They took their win and they left. Didn't even try for the back to back and shove it down the throat of all other local bands and musicians, man. I'm looking for great band names.

[Brady]

We would know if there's a fallout.

[John Holmberg]

With Miles to Knower.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, they're fine with the email. They're still chatting with us and stuff. DJ Bathsheba. That's kind of a good band name. Otherwise I'm not, not blown away by any of the band names yet.

[Brett Vesely]

Nobody took any of the names we've been going through all year long, huh?

[John Holmberg]

I like Lady Strange and the Rights. Yeah, none of that. I don't know. Anyway, that's pretty cool. So Pledio is going to get ready to go here in a couple of weeks. If you can believe it. We're just a couple of weeks away, Thanksgiving right around the corner and we can start hearing stuff like this where, you know, this is. You're going to like this when I, when I reveal it's not my type of music.

[Brett Vesely]

Dude's got a good voice.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, it's not a dude. That is the most beautiful woman I've seen ever doing this. Not because she might be the most beautiful woman I've seen ever, period. And she's doing this. She is a. Listen to that. I mean, this is supermodel hot. Her name is Ignacio Fernandez, but It's ignacia.fdez. she is a unbelievable. She is in the Chilean Miss World pageant. She's going for Miss Chile to be part of Miss World. And if you go to Ignacia Fdaz, you will see one of the most stunning women you've ever seen in your life. And just know that she sings death metal pretty damn well. Look at the pictures of Ignacia. Beautiful Fernandez Meese. Did she win? I hope so because if she came in second, I want to see what.

[Brett Vesely]

I want to recount.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, No, I want to see what's better in Chile than that.

[Brady]

The top one says semifinalist.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't it happen already? What are they tabulating votes with? Hand count? The Survivor. Yeah. She's spectacularly pretty. And then she makes that noise for fun, like that's what she does. And at first it's just her singing. And this is on the stage at the pageant. She's got the sash and everything.

[Brett Vesely]

Thing.

[Brady]

Please.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't match up. It feels like. AI, did the judges like this in pageants?

[Brett Vesely]

I wouldn't think so neither.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, she could do anything. Pretty much, though. Let me just say right now, Clado's canceled. She wins. Ignacio. F des.

[Brady]

Yeah, right in the jingle.

[John Holmberg]

It was interesting. She sang this for the semifinals in the talent portion. And I guess November 9th they had that. So it'll be this weekend for the finals. They have like a three day pageant. She's stunning.

[Brett Vesely]

That picture.

[John Holmberg]

Good Lord, man. Is she in a band?

[Brett Vesely]

I. I'm not sure.

[John Holmberg]

It looks like she fronts a Chilean progressive death metal band called Deceases. D E. Let me take a look at that. D C E S S U S. Deceases. Tell you, man.

[Brady]

Book them now. Larry.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Why are we not having a you fest with the headliner? Decisis. She's spectacular. This would. I mean, you would sell out just on the idea of. Let's take a look at that. Good Lord. And she's not like fake looking. She looks great and I think it's naturally pretty.

[Brady]

I keep waiting for a picture of her with Cliff Kingsbury.

[Brett Vesely]

Covering her ass with a purse though. So I'm not.

[John Holmberg]

You think she might be a fastball? I don't know. It doesn't look great in that picture. And the purse is in the way. Like she did that on purpose.

[Brett Vesely]

There's been a couple that I've noticed that the purse is covering.

[John Holmberg]

She may not have a manufactured S. Is that her singing? Let me see. Oh, oh, hang on. Click. Decis live. I can't hear. Those dudes that are in that band are the smartest guys in the world. Oh, yeah. I have no idea what's going on there. And when they said, that drummer's taking all the fumes. Oh, my God. If you're sitting there thinking in front of her, if that glorious girl says, I want to sing in your death metal band, you're like, yup. Can you do it? I think so. Good enough for me. You're in. You're gonna make us famous. For just a minute. Anyway, we're getting Extra attention. It's glorious.

[Brett Vesely]

That's not her.

[John Holmberg]

That's just her putting on mascara and stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

She is stunning.

[John Holmberg]

She's stunning. AI has not made a better one yet. This is a real one. There she goes. I like that. Brett looked at this angelic human and said, I don't know if hers is covering her ass. And I'm with him on that. If it's just not good back there.

[Brett Vesely]

Eventually being South American, you know, like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's down there. Chile, right. Across the street's Brazil.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

I can find a reasonable replica of you with an ass, but I got.

[Brett Vesely]

The rest of it. Yeah, stunning.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty spectacular. But if she, you know, that's a deal breaker. No ass is a deal. Might as well be a boy. You're right, Brett. Damn it. I don't know. I think, Brett, she's got.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not saying I can't.

[Brady]

Some hips.

[John Holmberg]

Brett. Might be. I don't know. Might have no butt. Oh, that's a shame.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm hoping I'm wrong. I'm looking for reasons here.

[John Holmberg]

Even though there is no possible chance that it will ever even be in the same room as us, we are hoping for her sake as a human being that she didn't get robbed of an ass with all those amazing features. Oh, she's at the gym. This is a good, good chance to see. Maybe she never, ever turns around. She knows.

[Brady]

Hiding it.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe she's doing a commercial for some sort of a salve that grows an ass. Watch out behind you. Never turns around.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm trying, right?

[John Holmberg]

You ruined her.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, even. That's like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, even girl. Because girls with nice asses can't stop turning around in pictures.

[Brett Vesely]

Kingsbury's girl always.

[John Holmberg]

She always turned around and, like, shoved it at you. The girl with a nice ass can't not show it to you. Whitney Cummings and all the comedians never watch a girl comedian who thinks she's got a nice ass. They turn their back on the audience constantly. Whitney Cummings special on Showtime. She's in tight jeans, complaining about tight jeans. The other one, Eliza Schlesinger. Same thing. The things I have to do to get ready. And then she turns. Every time she turns around, arches a little ass goes up. She can't not do it. A girl with a nice ass always shows you that ass. Every picture they're looking over their shoulder, they lead with it. And the ones who don't have one.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Usually wear big long coats or sweaters around their ways. The country where the asses are too good.

[Brady]

And there's too many good surgeons over there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't know about chili surgeons.

[Brett Vesely]

Everything is, like, propped up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Like, if.

[John Holmberg]

You know, Brett ruined it. Way to go.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, it ain't my fault. I didn't give her no ass.

[John Holmberg]

You just pointed it out. Well, I couldn't even have fun with that picture for a few minutes. Off record, I don't know. You're gonna be holding on. It's gonna be like she got hit in the back with a shovel.

[Brett Vesely]

But the rest of her is stunning.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely, spectacularly pretty. Except that ass problem that Brett points.

[Brady]

Still invited to you festival?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just if she turns around, the crowd will leave. Well, Brett was right. And we. And that's the first thing we would do. It's like, oh, we got decisis. I'm like, I don't even know if they're good or not. I don't care. And then they get on stage, and we're backstage, and we watch her go up, and I look at you and, like, let's go get something to eat. Ah, there, it's covered a little bit outside, and it's covered. She's not comfortable with it. Boy, oh, boy. Yeah, we're pigs. There's no question about it. But this is what men talk about. She's beautiful, but she's got no ass. I remember there was a. Years ago, there was a girl that I wasn't even like, with or dating or anything like that, but I was with her, and she was very pretty, and I was talking to her, and she left, and a friend of mine saw us talking, and he came over, and he goes, what are you doing? It was. Who was that? And I told him, like, that's this girl that does this thing at Romas, and she's maybe gonna work. I don't know. I knew her in school. And then he says, too bad. Like, what? Because I said, yeah, she's a friend. I'm not doing anything with her. And he goes, no, no. Too bad she's got no ass, because the rest of her is great. And that was when I realized, oh, I'm not the only one. I'm not the only one who feels that way, thinking it's. Might as well be crippled. It should be. You know what? You should be able to get better parking. You should be able to get a handicap tag if you've got no ass. I think that's a thing that said. That's like missing an arm. How come assless people don't get special treatment?

[Brett Vesely]

They're handicapped to me, essentially.

[John Holmberg]

Amputees or birth defects? That's pathetic. Got a couple people email and I think I found one.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's one here. I got it up here.

[John Holmberg]

It looks pretty. That's the one I'm looking at, too.

[Brett Vesely]

It's all right. It's not what I was expecting.

[John Holmberg]

I wanted it to be better.

[Brett Vesely]

That's not that Latin ass.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm with you. Ah, I got another one. I don't know. Brett ruined it. She doesn't have an ass. Well, curveless parking. Yeah, yeah, where the lines are even straighter.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron from MMP Guns]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron from MMP Guns]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from my friends at New Vision Auto Glass. Six weeks and counting. My windshield is still perfect. Call New Vision Auto Glass, and after about 15 minutes on the phone, you'll get everything you need. You can get up to $375 back. Visit new visionautoglast.com, see what you qualify for. Then you get that delicious free dinner from the world famous Brazilian steakhouse Rhodesio Grill, now in Mesa and their new location in Scottsdale. There's no excuse for you not to have a good piece of glass on that car. I don't want to hear it. Pick up the phone and fix it. 480-210-9090 New Vision Auto Glass. Proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondbacks. Holmberg's morning sickness. I mean, this one accommodate your eye. She's pushing it out there. It's still not. Damn it. You can see the lean Brett you took. You went to the Grand Canyon and went. Yeah, but when the sun sets the shadows. I don't think it's that great. I don't get the big deal.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, I'm not saying that she's like Taylor Swift body, but.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's my look. I have a better body than Taylor Swift. I'll never understand the Taylor Swift thing. I just do not get it. Saw her new stuff the other day on TV with that Lifetime thing of a showgirl or whatever she's doing. And I'm watching, I'm like, man, you're okay. And everybody's losing. She looks so beautiful. She is perfect. Her hair, I'm like, I'm not seeing that. And then I realized, oh, yeah, I'm a guy. Guys don't think Taylor Swift is hot. Girls do. Women think Taylor Swift is hot. I don't get it.

[Brett Vesely]

I was expecting Shakira type.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I wanted that too.

[Brady]

You know, she's a 10 for a billionaire.

[John Holmberg]

Who? This one Taylor T. Swizzle I get for a bit. Oh, she's got the billion dollars and still her body's like. Yeah, but that's how perverted we are about asses.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, they're bitching. What's the word?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm sorry. Don. D, O N. Don?

[Brett Vesely]

Like Don Corleone?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like Don Corleone. Seven o'. Clock. What is Don? What's wrong with this girl? It's got no back door. How are you. If you bought a house and it had no back door, it would be. It wouldn't be up to code. You're not allowed. You have to have an egress ingress in the back too.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, Dominic just said for Latin ass, check out Valerie K. All right.

[John Holmberg]

So, you know, this is not what we're supposed to start.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it's not?

[John Holmberg]

No. We can look though. We're definitely gonna look. But I'm just saying. All I was saying is deceasis was this incredibly beautiful woman singing death metal, and it's surprising to see. And it turned into Brett going, yeah, but you ain't got no ass. I'm like, okay, I didn't. I just thought it was an interesting look and now you've ruined it. And it's.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, she's kind of fake looking, though.

[John Holmberg]

This one says, yeah, we are pigs ass or not, John. But they all throw it out there for us to look, so if they've got it, they flaunt it. My girlfriend's got a big ass. Every picture we take, she has to turn around. She knows what butters the bread. And yeah, if you've got a girl with a nice ass, they all have a move they make to twist their hips. I bet you miss New booty does it all the time. Throws her hip up, ass towards the camera and looks over her shoulder Absolutely. She's earned it. Yeah. Oh, my God, that trick. That's just ridiculous. Yeah, that's. Jesus. Brady would feed her pumpkins at that zoo. It's like we got hippo. But somewhere in between that and the deceased singer.

[Brett Vesely]

I guess it's like a porn star or something.

[John Holmberg]

Any girl that takes a straight on picture knows something's wrong back there.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it is true to look at it like that. Thank you, Scott, for that. Is that if they're out there putting tight pants on and flaunting it, it's our job to go, that one's better than that one. Because that's the game they're playing, not us.

[Brett Vesely]

With a voice like that and no ass, maybe she's a man.

[John Holmberg]

There was two ladies last night at the Rah Rah Room having dinner and me and my friend Dean Dorsey. Dean, I won't do it. Is. We're looking and they were sitting there and they're Dee Dee Randall. Yeah, exactly. Their breasts were in these, like, halter tops and they were huge. And the one was packed into her dress. And we called her Baymax because she had a white dress. So she looked like that Pixar character that was kind of inflated underneath all that. But she was fine. But her boobs were out. And I'm like, dean, look over there. And the one was pulling down her shirt to just get above the areola. And then she's looking at us like we caught her because she wanted more boob to show more heaving. More heaving breasts needed to be showing. And I'm like. And I get mad when we're, like, judgmental and sexualized. Come on. Your boobs are out and you're wearing a Baymax dress. You look like a. You look like a singular human being with like. That is your skin. And we're not allowed. We have to peek because if we. We're perverts. But you're the one that was, like, trying to get your areola to peek out of the top, but not. And we were just standing like five feet from her going, I'm watching this. And her friend's doing the same thing. They're doing that thing where they reach into there.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they kind of peel it up a little bit and make it so the nipple's just about to. They know what they're doing.

[Brady]

Maybe the adhesive that was holding up the.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't have any adhesive. Uncomfortable things were moving around. They were scooching around pretty good. There was no adhesive, but it was just tight enough that she could move it and then the dress would hold in right as. And it was like it started to be a little sunset of skin there with a discoloration where the areola begins. Started like it's starting. And we were getting kind of upset about it. Like, just whip them out six tables.

[Brady]

Around them, all over chicken. Go the chicken breast.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna have the breasts.

[Brady]

Get the steak.

[John Holmberg]

Pound it out. I don't. I just want chicken breast. And a glass of milk. And a glass of milk. Some chicken breasts.

[Brady]

Can I get two?

[John Holmberg]

Can I get. If I get mashed potatoes, will you put them in a nice mound? Like a mound of mashed potatoes and breasts. You have a pepperoni back there? Just one. I just need one.

[Brady]

Stop it.

[John Holmberg]

Put it on top of my mashed potatoes. Why are you ordering all that silly food? I don't know, Duh. Because I got two giant cans staring me in the face and if I look at them, I'm going to lose my job. Yeah, it was. It's crazy. So I pulled the trigger yesterday, Brady. And I got myself one of them new Ford Broncos. And I like. So now basically my garage is a. It's color, is it. It's a blue and white. It's an interracial 70s relationship because everybody with a Jeep is like Bronco. It's. It's. Guess who's coming to car dinner. It's basically, you know, Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy have invited Sidney Poitier over and the Jeeps are now like, oh, oh, would you look at that? A Ford Bronco in my. And so the Jeeps in the Bronco, they're getting along, everything's fine. But there's definitely a little tension in the garage. I need some training, you know what, Some acceptance. It's a DEI garage right now. And definitely a couple of black and whitey are in there looking at him go. Blue and white, huh? Ford Bronco. Look at this. Look at this guy thinking he can walk in using our garage. Did you see the sign outside?

[Brady]

Have to see how he crossed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. See what you can do. So there is a. Talk to Jeep people. Like, can't believe it, man. It was. It's like I. It's like I sold out. I'm a race trader in the 60s. You're one of them. Not one arn. It was very odd feeling to talk to Jeep people, if that's what. You didn't get rid of any of your jeeps for that, did you? I'm like, no, I got. I'm hanging on to them. But What I will say to the Ford company. And Brett told me, this is an uncommon. The dumbest feature in the history of cars is happening inside that Bronco. And I'm getting it turned off. We test drove it yesterday, and when I got in it, Megan drove it. And when she got in it to pull out this unbelievable. It's like a Harley Davidson started inside the car. And I looked at the sales guy and I'm like, what the kind of engine is in this thing? And he goes, I don't know. And we couldn't hear each other so loud. Like, Jesus, we're going eight miles an hour. And it's like we're. I think it's a helicopter. I'm pretty sure we hit a button. And this is a helicopter. It's making so much noise. And he goes, I've never. I've never driven in one of these. I didn't know. And I'm like, I drove the four door last night. It didn't have this engine. So he's looking through the papers like, did this get a modified Super V12? What is this thing? And he goes. And then he reaches back and he touches the back and he goes, it's the subwoofer. And I'm like, is that a problem? Because every time you hit the gas that. He goes, oh. They pipe in crazy loud engine sounds into the car. Because I hung my head out the window, I'm like, give me that performance feel. I'm like, it's not happening outside at all. It's totally quiet outside. In. The car is deafeningly dumb. And they're like, yeah, you can turn that off. You just have to. There's a little thing that Ford has. It's like, if you. Why would you want your engine to blow you out of your interior? I get it. If you had. If you wanted to be one of those dickheads that ruins people's lunches on nice days with a big engine outside. But why are you doing that to you now?

[Brady]

You're not doing that. You just have the party on the.

[John Holmberg]

Inside doing it to you. It's who.

[Brady]

The people that want the loud pipes.

[John Holmberg]

And I looked, and you know what it's called? It's the. You know, like, it's the douchebag trim. It's the. Yeah. They call it the Badlands douchebaggery. They have it. It's. If you want to. If you want to annoy yourself with gigantic engine noise that's not real, but the truck is awesome across the board.

[Brady]

But it's only it's on all the Badlands.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's just in a few of them I have the heritage one. It's really cool. Like, I love every so. But I drove it. I'm like, well, you can't even have a conversation in this thing. It's just. It's yelling at us inside the car.

[Brett Vesely]

That's for married guys. They don't have to listen to the broad sitting in the seat next to him.

[John Holmberg]

Strong point, broad, muffler. All you're gonna hear when it's over is, that car's ridiculous. So God damn loud. I'll wait until he's done driving it and then I'll start ear beating him. It's the dumbest feature ever. And I tell Brett and he's like, oh, yeah, they've been doing that for a while. Putting the car engine sound that doesn't exist in the speakers. And it's so loud that you can't have music on. It's louder than the music. So, like, if I'm listening to Black by seven Dust and it's just, you know, voices call and I get a green light, call out my okay. That's not that I'm. That's a fantasy car. In my car, the engine isn't that huge.

[Brady]

Sometimes you battle the wheels just as much. The humming.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you've got the top down and stuff. Unlike, you know, Mickey Thompson's were notorious for deafening you outside the car. It was unreal, but it's the dumbest feature ever. And it's extra. Like you people pay extra.

[Brady]

Don't touch it, man.

[John Holmberg]

It's great for resale to have pretend time inside the car. Well, yeah, you can turn it back on, but I'm shutting that off. It's the silliest thing I've ever seen in my life, and it's in a lot of them. And you said that our buddy Ted had it in his sports car.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if he had a sports car, shouldn't the engine already make that noise?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, they want you to feel it inside. It wasn't loud outside.

[John Holmberg]

Why not just do it to, like a, you know, a Yaris?

[Brady]

Is that a sports car with a four cylinder?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, a lot of them are, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If your brain is so easily fooled that you need that noise in your car to think you bought a big engine. You're an insane person. It is kind of funny. I could. I mean, I tell you, every time the gas got hit, I laughed. I couldn't stop giggling. It was death metal. It was just like this guy Thinks he's angry, but it's not real. It was exactly what the car did. And so I picked up my friend Dean in the car, and I said, in a second, the dumbest thing in the world's about to happen. Because he's like, this thing's awesome. Like, I really like it too, but in a second, you're gonna. The dumbest thing's about to happen is that when I hit the gas, it's going to be play pretend time inside the car. We're not doing anything special here. We're going, like, 14 miles an hour. It's going to sound like we're in an F19. And he goes, what? I'm like, you'll see. And I hit the gas, and he just goes, oh, my God. And I'm like, don't worry about it. No one else can hear that. We're not pissing anyone off. That's just for us inside the car. This cacophony of nonsense is just for us for no reason at all. It was hilarious. But you got to go drive it. Just go take it around and you'll. You'll laugh hysterically. I had to turn the subwoofer off to make it less, because when the subwoofer is all the way up, it.

[Brady]

Picks it up more.

[John Holmberg]

It's not picked up. It's in it. It's designed to be. It's not. That's what I thought at first. Like. Oh, it's. It's accidentally grabbing engine noise. No, no, no, no. It's designed to do it. And it's. And it's. You can do bass and treble. Like, you can make it different. You can make it clean.

[Brett Vesely]

Remix your exhaust.

[John Holmberg]

It's got a full equalizer.

[Brett Vesely]

Nice. I want to take your truck for a ride.

[John Holmberg]

Go take it for a drive. Here, I'll give you the keys. Go nuts. It's hilarious. But, yeah. So to Ford and all the Ford people. Great vehicles, but, man. Oh, shove it's. That's a stupid feature.

[Brady]

You'd rather have the Porky's horn on it?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Well, yeah, I'd rather. Yeah, I'd rather just drive around with it, but only inside the car so no one else can. I'm a jackass in turn, but I don't like other people to know it. So, yeah, it's a feature. If you have any Mexicans in the car, it won't piss off Mexicans outside. And you can just play that in the play of the crowd. You get to play to who's in your car.

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[John Holmberg]

Can I make my sight softer? Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler?

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[John Holmberg]

Well, if you're gonna do that feature every once in a while when I hit the gas, just have, you know, some hot girl pop up on the screen and go, everyone in the world thinks you've got the biggest Johnson. Oh, thanks. There's a party going inside this cab here. Nobody knows it but me.

[Brett Vesely]

Just call me Matt Khalil.

[John Holmberg]

I haven't seen one like that since I did it with Matt Khalil. That's first gear. The car just talks to you and does crazy. If you're gonna do phony fantasies, why not? You know, every time I step on the gas, two giant cans inflate on the dashboard. I get to squeeze them for a second. Then they go back down and they're like, these are for you. Okay, this is great. Oh, man, here we go. It's the. It is. It is without question, like the one thing I'm like, can I Was it lifted trucks? Those guys are awesome, by the way. And I'm over there, I'm talking to him like, I will buy this. Except if you can't turn that off, if that stays on, if there's no getting around this, you're keeping this car. And they scrambled on the Internet. It's like, yeah, there's a thing. You can get it to reset it and make it go away I'm like. Because that is. I'm like, who do people come in and ask for? Like, I don't want to buy a car with a big engine, but I want the inside of it to make it feel like I did.

[Brady]

Yeah, everyone knows it's the inside.

[John Holmberg]

You can't hear that obvious. I stood outside of it and the engine revved and you just can't hear it. It's.

[Brady]

People have that car and don't realize that it's over the speaker.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. But it would be really funny if they're sitting at stoplights just going. And that's all you're hearing outside. But in the cars. It's the dumbest feature I've ever, ever heard. And it made me laugh forever. They don't make V8s anymore. I didn't know that. So they stopped. Like, Dodge won't make a V8. The Hemi's discontinued. And it's probably some, you know, they.

[Brady]

Turbo. Put a turbo on the.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's great. Yeah, they got the twins. Greta Thunberg ruined it for V8s. And then some crazy politician said, we've got to make it. So V8s are nearly impossible to build without all this other stuff. The parking bound. Anyway, this guy says it's because douchebag drivers can't get over it doesn't have a V8. It is dumb, but it's plenty fast. And I'm not buying that car for speed. You don't buy a square car for speed. That's just anti. You know, that's against your brain. You drive a square vehicle, it's like it's not aerodynamic at all. You're not getting speed, Brett.

[Brady]

What about the Mustang five O's Isn't that the engine? I thought that was a five liter.

[John Holmberg]

Imagine those things.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, those guys lost on them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

They still may have a little bit of help with them.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not sure inside.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That is the weirdest thing ever to me. Just have it do the daily affirmations. You're good enough, you're strong enough and people like you. I got the coolest car in the world and no one knows it but me. Isn't that like having an invisible friend?

[Brett Vesely]

Kind of. It is like snuffle up, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's your snuffle up. That's what I'm going to call the car now. It's Snuffy. I'm just going to name it Snuffy because it does things just for me inside the car to make me feel like I've done something I haven't.

[Brady]

It's still. It's still on the outside, more or less, but it's like having those Tonka trucks that you just hit the switch on.

[John Holmberg]

What's a. Like the toys?

[Brady]

Yeah, the toy. You hit the switch and it makes the sound.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like a little kid's toy. It has a little speaker on it. Make you think. But that's because it's a child, a grown man who understands that the car's lying to me. It was very funny. Still a cool car. But I'll shut that off. There's no need for that. And then. But I want to be able to turn it back on for comedy purposes because damn it if it's not hilarious. He said, My C8 has the same thing, John. First thing I did was turn it off. Said, actually the motor is strangely quiet when not in douche mode. Yeah, it is. It's complete douche mode. I don't like anything about bubbly, loud, screaming engines ever. I don't. You know, they're kind of neat for a second. Like, I do. Like the Wrangler 392 has a Super big growl. And it's neat, but it's purposeless. And I can't imagine spending $112,000 on a car I want to take out in the woods, you know, that's why the Jeeps are for real stuff. And the Bronco is like a pretty. It can. It's capable, but I'm just not going to do anything to it.

[Brady]

Remember that, that Roush Mustang?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That Sanderson gave me a drive for a day or two and we'll get to try it.

[John Holmberg]

That was a real engine, but it is douche mode. When you've got one is fine no matter what. But if you've got like five or six guys and it's the motorcycle people. I'm talking about the Harleys, and they think people like it. No one likes but you. So in a weird way, it's nice to do that. Say, look, you like it, so we put it in your car and you're not going to bother other people.

[Brady]

That void.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It fills the void of needing to ruin people's lunches on patios on 78 degree days. And yet. And you know you can. And you can even roll the windows down and think everybody's hearing it. No one is. And you're not wrecking people's days. Yeah. The engine is actually really. It's really nice. And I don't know if that's a. Some guys are like, yeah, like, I nice. I like a nice quiet ride. I'm not interested in the car being so loud. I hate it. It's just silly. I like a nice quiet ride. Good pickup that's got all that. I just don't need it yelling at me from the inside. I already got that. It's called a wife. Does it have the quiet the wife package? Oh, wait until you get a load of this. The engine never stops screaming.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what's great about it.

[John Holmberg]

There should be a button, though. When she's in the car, it's like, sorry, it's the engine. She wouldn't know the engine does that. Doesn't do it when I drive. What are you gonna do? I have it in sport mode or something.

[Brady]

Got a heavier foot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Sorry we can't talk. It's just annoying. Yeah, it is. It's tough when you hear things you don't like to hear in the car, isn't it? The word for 7am is don d o n. So hop on that and you might win yourself a thousand dollars. Talking about the guy who has the early onset Alzheimer's. This guy says, hey, Homer. Simpsons. Homer Simpsons. I'm not dying of any disease or anything, but if the Brady Report flops, I'll have the worst day. It's impossible for me to calm down or console every time Brady has a bad Brady report and nothing's funny. I got home, I'll get mad, I'll start yelling at the wife. I might punt a pet. It sends me into blind rage. For the sake of my family, please keep doing what you do with the Brady Report. Nate Spitler. You got it, Nate. We'll. We'll hop on that right there. Make sure that the Brady Report doesn't let you down. Just in case it's the last one. Yeah. This one says, I've got the 91 Bronco with a V8 and the 2021 has more horsepower than my V8 Bronco did back in the day. Yeah, they've changed those things. Those V6s are. Oh, yeah. Much bigger than the old V8s, all.

[Brett Vesely]

Turbocharged and everything, so.

[John Holmberg]

But now we play pretend they're making the noise of the old car. Why don't you just do that in your car? Just do it yourself.

[Brett Vesely]

Like put some baseball cards in the space.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It is essentially baseball cards in this boats inside the car. Really weird.

[Brady]

I got that engine, but I don't do that with the Aviator.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't put it in the Lincoln doesn't have the douche mode. Surprising. A lot of Lincoln drivers like to think they're not in a Lincoln, you know, like life hasn't passed them by and they're not some sort of family. So we put this douche mode in here, and it starts screaming like you're riding in a motorcycle. And then there's a fan blows right on your face, makes you feel like you're outside. It's not a convertible, but we put all these fans in it to blow your hair around, make you pretend you're in one. Anyway, so long, fantasy boy. But, yeah, it was.

[Brett Vesely]

They said the car stereo guys can turn it off.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Boys over there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, okay. We'll just go to our guys. Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Yeah, I guess that. Yeah, I'll get it turned off. I'm not really worried about it.

[Brett Vesely]

As are creative. We'll take care of it.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, well, we'll go over there later.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Give you a new speaker and make it louder. Make it seem like I'm. You know what I want? I want it to sound like I'm in a jumbo jet. Could you make it so when Ron.

[Brady]

Capps is hitting the gas?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, let me see. I want a funny car sound. I want to. I want to be deafened by my interior.

[Brady]

Should we point the speakers out?

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. That's rude. Only me. I'm. I'm the only one that needs to fantasize about this. And I also do. I kind of want to make. I also want to think maybe I'm a Duke boy. So if we could get that all done, it's it. And I just started and I couldn't. Like, who wants that? And he goes, you'd be surprised. I'm like, I really would. The douche factor is strange. It is really strange. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats today?

[Brett Vesely]

All right. Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And of course we talk about it. We've been talking about it all week long. We're going to be out there tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

I'm good.

[Brett Vesely]

We're going to be out there tomorrow from 11 to 1 o' clock over there at the new power Road and McDowell Location Route, the Haas trailhead. Want to get you on a bike. And they got all kinds of bikes in all kinds of different price ranges. If you need just something to cruise around commuter B, you know, around the neighborhood, ride around the kids or the, you know, canals, whatever. They got you covered over there. Plus, right now, if you Want to hit the trails. They got full suspension bikes in all kinds of price ranges. They're trying to blow out some of the demos and everything else starting at like 1500 bucks for full suspension, which isn't too bad. And you can buy. You can ride it before you buy it. So they got demo rides going on and Josh and the boys are going to be serving you guys lunch again. You and I will be hanging out there from 11 to 1 tomorrow at the brand new.

[John Holmberg]

Get to see all the stuff out there. It's going to be great.

[Brett Vesely]

I might wind up buying another one.

[John Holmberg]

Kyle says it perfectly. Maybe it'll make car noises. Maybe they'll put that on our bikes now says what it sounds like you're describing is like if you wear a penis extender and actually believe you have a huge one or the car might as well just be a woman faking an orgasm. It is. It's faking a V8 orgasm. That's essentially perfect. That's exactly right. Yeah. The guy said the thing to turn it off is a program called for scan. Yeah, I was looking that up yesterday. Evidently you can. For like 25 bucks you can get it and kind of shut it off. It doesn't make any sense. But you got to drive it. Take it out during the break and you'll just giggle your ass off it like that. It's all fake anyway. It's 7:12. You got to. What song do you want?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, so we got Ugly Kid Joe, Cats in a cradle for you and Doug.

[John Holmberg]

My dad, Doug Popkins.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Mud Vein, Skid Row, Nine Inch Nails, New one. Austrian Death Machine, who's your daddy? Oh, Rammstein Avenged Sevenfold Creed Queen Fat Bottom Girls for Miss Chile.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, poor girl.

[Brett Vesely]

Anthrax Ghoster Comes a son ac, DC and stained.

[John Holmberg]

Austrian Death Machine, who's your daddy? For me and my. My old man, Doug Popkins. God, a great story. And he hated every second of it.

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Just.

[John Holmberg]

Just hated it. And to whoever said that to Doug, and it wasn't even something I prompted, it just happened. And he had. And he told me, thank you for making my year 2025.

[Brady]

I didn't think anything of it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was pretty great. I. It bothered Doug quite a bit. And it should. Cuz it's not like he's looking at me saying, man, that guy looks like he's in his 20s. Nope. It just made him older. And I think that's fantastic. I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna get him some Metamucil in a diaper later today and make sure Pop Pop's taken care of. Doug Popkins. And you can see dad and I and commercials during the Cardinals game this weekend. Or. Yeah, they're playing. Oh, yeah. Are they on the buy or. No, they're playing the Seahawks.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Seahawks. Yeah. Doug and. Or Daddy and I will be up there on our commercials during the Cardinals Game on Channel 10. They should love that every second. You got it? Ready? Got it. It. All right. Austrian Death Machine. Who is your daddy and what does he do? It's 98, KUPD, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98.