11-07-25 - Vincent Emails In The He Was Just Diagnosed w/Early Onset Alzheimers - Someone Thought John Was Doug Hopkins' Son At The RaRa Room - Guys Odd Guest At Suns Game - Antonio Brown Arrested In Dubai For Attempted Murder

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – November 7, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness kicks off with its trademark blend of irreverent humor and honest, sometimes heartfelt, banter. John Holmberg, joined by regulars Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Dick Toledo, responds to a moving listener email about early onset Alzheimer's, then detours through tales of awkward social encounters at a Suns game, ongoing show in-jokes, and wild celebrity news about Antonio Brown. The tone is as always: brash, self-deprecating, and unscripted.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Vince and the Weight of Meaning ([01:22]–[13:44])

• Vince's Email:
  John reads an impactful email from Vince, a 44-year-old listener recently diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. Vince shares how the show was the first thing to make him laugh after his devastating diagnosis, referencing specific bits (“Irish guy calling the cops about the lion dog”).

• John's Reaction:

  • Overwhelmed by the emotional weight, John jokes uneasily about the pressure now placed on the show's humor:

    "I'm glad you're gonna forget that I say this, but come on, man. I show up here every day and just goof around. ... I cannot take that kind of life." – John Holmberg ([03:34])

  • He turns the situation into dark humor, riffing about responsibilities and joking about dementia care, but beneath it, the group shows real empathy.

• Show’s Philosophy:

  • The crew is both flattered and disquieted by the knowledge their comedy affects listeners on a profound level.

    "I like nihilism with my funny. ... Everything I say is sort of stupid and meant for, you know, novelty purposes only." – John Holmberg ([07:10])

  • Brady points out the mind-bending cruelty of early diagnoses (“It’s a mind screw.” [05:47]), while John wrestles with how flippant comedy sometimes intersects with real life.

• Past Listener Stories:
  The hosts recount other heavy listener stories (ALS Matt, Gary), with the show becoming an unlikely emotional outlet ("Gary’s wife's a whore" running joke resurfaces), ultimately wrestling with their impact and responsibility (and discomfort) in being a touchpoint for suffering listeners.

Notable Quote:
"I need to think of them all as just kind of gray, nameless faces going from A to B in their little tin boxes ... This ant farm doesn’t need to have feelings and bring them back to me." – John Holmberg ([12:33])

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2. Comic Relief, Show In-Jokes, and Lightening the Mood ([13:44]–[16:54])

• ALS Walk and Dark Humor:
  • The show receives a shoutout for the ALS walk and responds with their characteristic gallows humor, comparing the event to wrangling livestock.
  • John insists: “I don’t like diseases. I don’t like talking about diseases. ... And someday I will, too. Maybe I do now, and I don’t even know it..." ([15:40])

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3. Awkward Encounters at the Rah Rah Room and Suns Game ([16:54]–[25:36])

• Name Changes and Friend Transitions:

  • John’s friend Dorsey, now going by “Dean" because of continuous telemarketing gender confusion, prompts jokes about identity and “transitioning” to a new male name, with the hosts playing on social awkwardness and generational confusion.

• Waitress Melancholy:

  • The group discusses a notably sad waitress who wants to vent on the show, riffing on the odd tension when service staff break the role of cheerful server.

• The Doug Hopkins 'Son' Mix Up:

  • John shares a highlight: TV's Doug Hopkins, his friend and commercial co-star, was asked if John was his son. The two are only a year apart, leading to a long, playful riff on age, mistaken relationships, and mutual ribbing.

    • “Some guy thought you were my son in those commercials. … That’s because I look good. You look horrible.” – John Holmberg ([18:56])

• Odd Suns Game Guest:

  • The crew expresses concern over a friend bringing his best friend’s daughter’s ex-boyfriend to the game—cringing at the optics and spinning it into a bit about “adopting” young male companions for golf connections.

    • “If I told you, hey, I’m going with my best friend’s daughter’s ex-boyfriend, you’d start doing the math in your head and going, why is he even friends with that kid?” – John Holmberg ([23:01])

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4. Escaping Heavy Topics: Hand Modeling and the Need for Nonsense ([25:36]–[33:43])

• Refusing Emotional Responsibility:

  • John circles back to Vince’s email, openly grappling with being more empathetic than he wants, hating the emotional responsibility of knowing listeners’ pain.

    • “This just proves something that I hate about myself. I am an emotional, empathetic human being. Ew. I don’t want to be that. … I have feelings.” – John Holmberg ([26:07])

• Hand Modeling Riff:

  • Before Vince’s email, John was searching “how to become a hand model.” The hosts rate their own hands, joke about jewelry endorsements, and pontificate about lucrative hand-modeling careers.

    • “My left hand is an eight.” – John Holmberg ([31:28])

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5. News and Celebrity Absurdity: Antonio Brown’s Arrest ([33:43]–[41:32])

• Antonio Brown Arrest Discussion:
  • The team covers Antonio Brown’s attempted murder arrest in Dubai—predicting it, comparing it to “bingo cards” of inevitable disasters, and likening it to Ralphie May’s death, which they saw coming.
  • The conversation swings between morbid humor about news predictability and bewilderment at celebrity self-destruction:

    • “Antonio Brown arrested on murder charges ... There wasn’t an ounce of ‘Oh my God.’ ... We all knew we’d get [that call]. We just didn’t know when.” – John Holmberg ([35:52])

  • Side tangents: OJ Simpson, Bill Cosby, and knowing when certain tragedies are inevitable.

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6. Wake-Up Song & Closing Banter ([41:32]–[41:49])

• The show invites listeners to pick a “wake up song” to shake off the heavy talk, suggesting tracks like “Everclear, Father of Mine” and “Cats in the Cradle” as nods to their own running jokes about absent or unlikely fathers ("Doug ‘Pop Pop’ Hopkins").
• John closes with:

  “Let’s get a wake up song. Maybe for Vince, maybe for Doug Hopkins, my pop pop. … A good one. We’ll scream it together.” ([41:32])

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Memorable Quotes

• John, on comedic responsibility:
  “Now I’m going to want to go know you and hang out and talk to you and maybe end up… cleaning your body and all. … Vince, it’s too much pressure on me for this. … I can’t take that kind of life.” ([03:34])

• Brady, on coping with disease:
  “It’s a mind screw.” ([05:47])

• John, on audience anonymity:
  “I need to think of them all as just kind of gray, nameless faces... This ant farm doesn’t need to have feelings and bring them back to me.” ([12:33])

• John, on being mistaken for Doug Hopkins’ son:
  “Some guy thought you were my son in those commercials. ... That’s because I look good. You look horrible.” ([18:56])

• John, resisting emotional closeness:
  “This just proves something that I hate about myself. I am an emotional, empathetic human being. Ew. I don’t want to be that.” ([26:07])

• John, on hand modeling:
  “My left hand is an eight ... My right hand is a little less... but they’re also classy.” ([31:28])

• John, on anticipating Antonio Brown’s trouble:
  “Antonio Brown arrested on murder charges ... There wasn’t an ounce of ‘oh my God’... We all knew we’d get [that call]. We just didn’t know when.” ([35:52])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Listener Vince's Alzheimer's Email & Show Responsibility:
  [01:22]–[13:44]

• ALS & Listener History, Gallows Humor:
  [13:44]–[16:54]

• Rah Rah Room, Commercial Son Mix-up:
  [16:54]–[25:36]

• John's Hand Modeling Aspirations:
  [25:36]–[33:43]

• Antonio Brown Arrest, Celebrity Disaster Talk:
  [33:43]–[41:32]

• Wake-up Song, Closing Segment:
  [41:32]–[41:49]

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Tone & Language

The episode is a whirlwind of dark humor, personal reflection, local anecdotes, and brash honesty. The Holmes Sickness crew doesn’t shy away from uncomfortable truths, but always uses humor as both shield and sword—reflecting, deflecting, and processing even the heaviest of news through their unique comedic lens.

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For New Listeners

Even if you’ve never tuned in before, this episode gives you a clear window into what makes HMS stand out: smart, raw sarcasm, an ability to touch (and avoid) emotion at the same time, and an always-unfiltered look at the wild stories of everyday life, Arizona style.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

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[98 KUPD Announcer]

Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] Good morning, everybody.

[John Holmberg]

Hello there. Welcome to Friday. It is 5:45. This is the Morning Sickness. My name's John Holmberg. How the heck are you? There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Big Dick Toledo. And we are off and running in a glorious way towards the weekend. And of course, we've got our chances to win $1,000 every single hour of the day. Let me open up my book to make sure I don't screw you guys. Remember what I'm doing. There we go. All right. Yeah, we'll have the six o' clock word and just a little bit, just moments from now and get y' all started off. Guys, I have to let you know that we're. We've got responsibilities. What? I don't like having responsibilities. Reason I got into this business, I like being a professional jackass for a living where people don't. Well, we're not like, you know, altering lives or anything. Not a doctor. Went to school for seven years, but I'm not a doctor. Got an email from this guy and it just punches you in the guts and then also makes you go, ah, great. Human beings, says dear John. I just want to let you know that you are the first person who made me laugh after being diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. I'm 44. I didn't know that was a thing. You can get it at 44. Isn't it like getting SIDS in your 20s? Man, I can't believe my situation is real, but still, here I am. When I got the diagnosis, I broke down completely. I didn't think I'd have anything to look forward to ever again, but you got me in the best way ever. When you did the Irish guy calling the cops about the lion dog and that whole nonsense thing you were doing, I just thought, man, I can still enjoy myself. I actually laughed in my car out loud. You were also the last person to make me laugh out loud. Very hard when you did the whole thing. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Dip McCullough. I think he said McCallops. He says McCullough. I don't remember. I don't really remember Dip name too much, but he was. That was a fun. That was a fun character. So I'm glad that helped. You said your last person make me laugh because that was the day I went in to get all my tests and ended up finding out a couple days later what was going on. So I guess I'm going to lean on you and also let you know, you guys are so much more than fart jokes. You actually make people who are in big trouble feel better about their lives. Signed Vince. Well, Vince, I don't need this kind of pressure. I'm glad you're gonna forget that I say this, but come on, man. I show up here every day and just goof around. If Brady and Brett laugh, that's a successful day. And then the ratings come out, and hopefully those are good, too. But I don't. I can't know. This is out there. Now I'm gonna want to go know you and hang out and talk to you and maybe end up, you know, cleaning your body and all. I. Vince, it's too much pressure on me for this. I know you're going through a lot, but think of me. That's too much to put on this show. I'm looking at Brady. He's got his own problems, but Brett's got his own things going on. I'm living a carefree, happy existence here.

[Brady]

I do like this part about cleaning my body.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I'm not. I didn't ever say that to you. If you get dementia, I'm just going to stand nearby and tell you I cleaned your body, and you're going to think. And then I'm going to go out. And then we're going to go out to the Mongolian barbecue and you're going to have a pant load and you won't even know it.

[Brady]

Mash it down.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm just going to have you squashed down on your own while you're pushing more barbecue into that belly. Well, Vince, I'm sorry you're going through that, but what you've done is nightmare fuel. I had no idea there was such a thing as early onset Alzheimer's. And you're 44. I'm very sorry you're going through that. The good news is maybe AI will solve this problem. And then you.

[Brady]

You know, it is wild when you get. It's like the second or third time I've heard that diagnosis, early onset Alzheimer's. Yeah. And they.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. They've told you this three times, forgetting your diagnosis. I've had it for 20 years. They just keep giving it to me.

[Brady]

But someone has it. And right now the signs aren't there. It's just going to happen. It just.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they're predisposed to. Yeah, This. I think, the. Early on. I think when they diagnose you and you go get tests, you've got stuff going on. I don't think that's one of those, hey, guess what you're going to have. I would assume if they diagnose you, they can tell you. They can tell you have a propensity or a. You're more likely to get that. So you can watch out for some things and maybe kind of slow the process, but. Yuck. Nobody likes. This is terrible.

[Brady]

It's a mind screw.

[John Holmberg]

It sure is.

[98 KUPD Announcer]

David lee here from 98 KPD. You know what caused this? The jab and the commie left.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, all right, Dave. Sorry, I forgot he was political. Anyway, Vince, I don't even know how to answer that. And now you. Now there's pressure to be funny, so when you're trying to be funny, you're not. And now you're gonna sit there with Alzheimer's and go, they're not making me laugh today. Things suck again and we have an off day. Good Lord. For Vince's sake, let's just read it again. Because he probably doesn't know I actually read it the first time. Dear John Now. Anyway, if you've got a terrible, debilitating disease and we've made you laugh, I enjoy. Just keep it to yourself. I can't. I can't take that kind of. I can't take that kind of life. There's. It's very. You think it's nice for me to hear. I hate it. I don't. It means that something means something, and I don't like that. I like nihilism with my funny. Because then. You know what this does? This means that when people complain about something that I said, they're right too, you know, because if you can say, oh, I made a guy laugh who had early on said Alzheimer's, that makes me important in words. And then. So if I say something that somebody's like, oh, I've got two daughters with. Early on, you were making fun of that. I'm like, oh, no. And then. So that makes everything has meaning, and I hate that.

[Brady]

Just gotta embrace it. Patch Adams.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not Patch Adams. Stop it. I am not Patch Adams. I don't like my words to have meaning. They don't. Everything I say is sort of stupid and meant for, you know, novelty purposes only. Please, no wagering. Vince, I'm sorry for you, buddy, but I don't know what else to do now. I don't. How do you be funny after Vince? The first email you read of the day is, vince has early onset Alzheimer's and keep it up, buddy, or I'm gonna be in the abyss of darkness forever. Unless you're hilarious. So I gotta. I gotta come up with things like dip McCallister every day till Vince can't turn. Remember how to turn a radio on?

[Brett Vesely]

Drunk Irishman, too.

[John Holmberg]

Like that one? Yeah, that was kind of a fun one. That was pretty. That was pretty fun. You know, they thought a dog was a lion and it's. They're all drunk. We knew that it was fun. Yeah, said some bitch. We got us a new Gary. That's true. Jordan says ask him how his wife's doing, Dan. Damn you, Jordan. Hopefully his wife doesn't do well. We have als, Matt.

[98 KUPD Announcer]

I haven't heard from him for a while.

[Brett Vesely]

I seen him at the three days. Oh, thank God he's still around. Although that was a month or two ago.

[Brady]

So.

[John Holmberg]

Als, Matt? We had Gary whose wife started boning the neighbor.

[Brett Vesely]

Gary's wife's a whore.

[John Holmberg]

Gary's wife's a whore husband, Gary, who's no longer with us. His. Was it Gary that emailed originally and then his friend took over because Gary got too sick to email and.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I think it was Gary. Yeah.

[Brady]

Come on.

[Brett Vesely]

She was bone with the guy from Texas, right?

[John Holmberg]

No, that was. I was different. Oh, that's Matt.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, his worst straight. Yeah, when he. When he was.

[Brady]

Get your fried chicken.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, his first diagnosis, get your chicken fried steak and a blowjob from. From that guy's wife because, well, that just turned into a nightmare as well.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it was the neighbor.

[John Holmberg]

The neighbor was Gary. Gary's. Gary's. Gary went on.

[Brady]

Saved his life.

[John Holmberg]

He went up. The only reason I remember this is because it's from Breaking Bad. Gary went in a fugue state and started wander around the neighborhood and ran into the neighbor who happened to be in his driveway, not the neighbor's driveway, and Gary's driver, right? And Gary left the house zombie and around with his head hurting and there's the neighbors, like in his yard. He's like, what are you doing, Gary? It's like, I don't know, starts to pass out or whatever. And then they took him to the hospital. The neighbor was the hero. But what he didn't realize was until later that the neighbor was standing in the front yard to flag down Gary's whore wife when she came home to say, pull the car into my house.

[Brady]

Coast is clear.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Gary's inside sleeping because he's got his problems. Yeah, I guess he'd already had his diagnosis and the neighbor was going to climb in the. Gary's whore wife's car and they were going to drive down and have whore wife sex in her ultima and then come back to Gary's brain cancer like nothing had ever happened. But she got sloppy. Vince, I hope you're not married, for God's sakes. And if you are, good thing about Alzheimer's is you won't even remember any of this happening. Yeah. Now we got us a new Gary, boys, and his name is Vince. Keep us up to date, for Christ's sake.

[Brett Vesely]

Does that mean when you got Alzheimer's.

[John Holmberg]

You can go around banging all you.

[Brett Vesely]

Want because you don't remember?

[Brady]

It's not cheating.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. That's how it's. A lot of times guys abuse it for that.

[98 KUPD Announcer]

All right?

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes they're like, I'm sorry, I got the alts. I don't know what to do.

[Brady]

Who are you?

[John Holmberg]

Well, then you remembered to call her and tell her you're on your way. It's a weird disease, comes and goes. Really? I think doctors can't explain it. You are 34 years old, Roger. Yeah, and I got that Alzheimer's. It's gonna be a long road. Doctor said this could go on for years and years and years. Anyway, hopefully you stick around for it because you'd be a bitch to leave, you know, that's brutal.

[Brady]

I still love you, Mar. It's Mary.

[John Holmberg]

This guy says, in addition. In addition to the drunk Irish call uber political. David Lee stuff was hilarious, too. Also, can't go wrong with Father Dale stories or Ron Wolfley's impression. That'll keep the old Alzheimer boy happy. Thanks, Doug. Yeah, I suppose that's true. We'll just keep David Lee's conspiracy theories alive. I don't know what else to. I have no idea.

[98 KUPD Announcer]

If you're looking at the sky, the airplanes are dropping chemtrails to make us all stupid. Nadia, KUPD is not affiliated with anything David Lee says. Except this.

[John Holmberg]

No fluoride.

[98 KUPD Announcer]

If you have fluoride in your toothpaste, you're playing with the devil's dandruff.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[98 KUPD Announcer]

Debbie Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's just. I want to get him on the show and just. It's unique. We have David Lee. Just give us something.

[98 KUPD Announcer]

Tylenol causes all sorts of things besides the illness that makes your brain go crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, David.

[98 KUPD Announcer]

Don't take Tylenol. 98 KUPD to be freed eggs.

[Brett Vesely]

We could have Larry set that up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just have him come on and just go. We only know you as a shallow voice. You have feelings.

[98 KUPD Announcer]

And I know I've been to his Alzheimer's. Oh, no. Because he took the jab.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, David Lee. But, yeah, most of all, we'll. We'll try. We'll do our best. But, I mean, it's kind of a relief when Gary left, because Gary was putting some heat on us to be funny while he was dropping out, too.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

We don't have to try so much anymore, you know? No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We could take a couple of days off. I don't need to know those people are out there. I need to think of them all as just kind of gray, nameless faces going from A to B in their little tin boxes and then heading back and forth to their little wooden boxes at the end of the day. That's all. This ant farm doesn't need to have feelings and bring them back to me.

[Brady]

Good Christ.

[John Holmberg]

I already started this thing online that breaks my heart every day where somebody will tell me they put their dog down. And that happens three, four times every day. I read an email saying, hey, John, I know you love dogs and I'd love to. And I started saying, I'm going to give my dogs. My dogs are going to get fat cookies and hugs for in honor of somebody else's dog, which I love. I actually do. But, you know, I know you Guys have real lives. I just don't. I just can't think about it. Yeah, so remember, we get some good stuff out of your ALS listeners. John, remember that ALS MATS translator called Dale an ugly, disgusting ogre that morning? That was a good part of the contest. That's true. We can get good stuff. If Vince can come down here and forget that he keeps calling Dale ugly and just does it over and over again, that'd be great.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John Holmberg]

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[98 KUPD Announcer]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Was that. That was the handler, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, the handler. When she. Dale asked to rate him and she said like a five. You're a hideous beast of a human being. Says, could you possibly give a shout out to the ALS walk, which is happening tomorrow at Salt River Fields? All the info is on ALS Arizona Facebook page. Matt's doing great and listens daily. All right, thanks, Kyle. Yeah. Is the ALS walk just like when they put those horses on the. They bridle them up and then put that thing and then let them walk in a circle and they Tie them to that pole. I don't think you want the als. Yeah, I don't think you want free range als, do you? That's just. You just want to keep them in a line, put them in a circle and just go. All right. I think we care that everybody go home now.

[Brady]

Yeah. I think they're in a bullpen.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And everyone else that doesn't have it.

[John Holmberg]

They'Re walking the als.

[98 KUPD Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They just. It's like being at the bull ring. And those things you show all the time that they're like, ah, they're like caged in the bullpen. And then all the real walkers are up and down the stairs. Any way you look at it, I don't like diseases. I don't like talking about diseases. And I'm sorry that some of you have them. They're awful. And someday I will, too. Maybe I do now, and I don't even know it, but it's rough, man. And, Vince, I don't need that. I like flippant nonsense that means nothing. That's what I've based my entire existence on. And I can't have things start meaning stuff. It just. It just doesn't work for me. My brain don't work that way. There's a waitress at the Rah Rah room who. Last night we were at the Suns game. I brought my friend Dean. There's another story. Dorsey. It's a whole nother thing. He changed his name. He identifies as a different name now, but he looks exactly the same. It would be easier if he started dressing like a woman because I had to introduce him to, like 100 people. Now, I've known this guy for 20 plus years, and his name is Dorsey or was. And he didn't like it that he did all this telephonic work and people kept calling him a woman. They thought Dorsey was a lady. It doesn't sound like it, but they'd have to. He'd have to explain him not. And he got tired of it, so he switched to his middle name, which is Dean.

[Brett Vesely]

Transition's going well, though.

[John Holmberg]

So he's transitioning from himself back into himself. I'm like, what did you tell your mother? You're like. You identify as a Dean. My son is transfer. He's. He's going from male to a different male. You're sounding sane. So I'm introducing him last night, and a couple times I slipped up and called him Dorsey. And I felt like it was. I might as well said the N word. So we're at the RAH rah room and one of the waitresses there who's really fun and usually super nice, it's just sad as can be. And then she says, and because she's young, she goes, can I come on your podcast and flame my boyfriend? I'm like, sure, if you want. I'd like to hear that. And she was all sad. And I'm like, no, you're supposed to be the drink deliverer and the fun person that smiles and runs around and Kinsey's bouncing off and then she's sad. Like, I don't want sad. You like that? Doesn't make this fun for the bartender. Sad. You make everybody sad. You're one of those people. Yeah, I don't like that. I like people to be fun and not don't bring problems to the bar. That's what the bar is for. Oh, I felt terrible for her, but she's oozing out sadness. I'm introducing Dean Dorsey to people. Oh, there was a great moment last night at the Raha Room. TV's Doug Hopkins came in and he goes, I hate you right now. I'm like, why? I just hate you. I'm like, what happened? And he says, and this, this might make Vince laugh. This was a great one. He says, you know, Doug and I are doing. He had me in one of his TV commercials. So on Sundays during Cardinals games, I'm. I'm in the commercial with Doug.

[Brady]

Talk pounds it pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

They're hitting it. Yeah, it's every Sunday. It's on there. So there I am saying, hey, the TV's Dou Hopkins, blah, blah, blah. And then, you know, we're talking for 12, 15 seconds, but I'm sitting next to him and we're having a conversation and somebody said to him, hey, love the commercials. Can't believe you've been doing this this long. And. And Doug's like, oh, that's great, thanks. Yeah, we've been at it for long time. And he goes, and now you've got your son in the commercials. Oh, did that rob Doug? We are a year apart.

[98 KUPD Announcer]

Yeah, some guy thought you were my.

[John Holmberg]

Son in those commercials. And I'm like, that's because not. I look good. You look horrible. So it works out great for me. They thought, now, that's it. Doug is now pop Popkins. Daddy Dougie, he was born in May of 1971. I'm July 1972. And so somewhere in that 14 month period, Doug made me. And now I am his son.

[Brett Vesely]

Gotta get him a Father's day gift. This Year.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God, that's right.

[Brady]

It's a 20 year gap.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm gonna go over and just. I'm just gonna show up at the door. Dad. Yeah, Some guy again. He's. And I said, the guy was serious. He goes, he was dead serious. I had to.

[98 KUPD Announcer]

God damn it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, this is awesome. And then you got Kenzie the waitress. She's sad now. Doug said, now Vince is out there. He didn't remember anything, and I'm the only one doing well. It was great. Doug Hopkins did. And he's just staring at me the whole night. I felt a different Doug Hopkins last night. Like, why in the world? What's going on? I'm like, I don't look good, Doug. It's not because I look good. People think you're, I don't know, 80, 83 years old. That's it. I look exactly normal. For me, you are. You don't look. You're older. That was that.

[Brett Vesely]

Or he saw you work in a.

[John Holmberg]

Room, said, that's my boy that could.

[98 KUPD Announcer]

Be proud of you, son.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, Hopkins. Oh, it was the best. Cool.

[Brady]

You brought your dad up to the concert.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I had my dad up at the you fest.

[Brady]

Close it out.

[John Holmberg]

All right, everybody calm down. He gets. But he gets triggered by big loud sounds, so let's not make him mad. I'm going to start. I'm not going to call him TV's Doug Hopkins. I'm going to call him the late Doug Hopkins. Starting now. Because it's just. It's almost. He's about checking out. Oh, what a great feeling that was.

[Brett Vesely]

That was.

[John Holmberg]

I know we had him up for the, you know, the night of the Singing Dead, and he was out there and singing and dancing with us and I don't know, might have been our. It's like when the, you know, Dance with my father. I should do that Luther Vandross song with him next year. Night of the Singing Dead. I'll do Dance with my Father with Doug.

[Brady]

Yeah. Bring up earlier to a ballad for sure.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta slow it down. Yeah, he's doing bodies. I mean, his old man's body. Can't take that. I mean, I'm. I'm his young son and that. That takes a lot out of me. I can't imagine what it's doing to his old bones. TV's Doug Hopkins, just like that. I don't have it on. What happened? Where's your. Oh, we have my Doug Hopkins song. It's not playing, damn it. But yeah, so that was. That's the kind of stuff. Oh, by the way, the word for 6am is contest. The 6am word is contest. So hop on that. Make contest a thing and you can get it in 6am and just qualify yourself for another thousand bucks. Simple as that. Good luck. Yeah, but it messed up Doug's night. And then all the people with them were, you know, now he just looks like he's hanging out with. There was another. Another thing that happened. One of the people I know who have a friend of mine actually on the station. Interesting. And it didn't look good. I. I didn't realize. You can't do this. It's a nice gesture, but you can't do this. One of the people I know through endorsements. I won't say the name because it. It seems he's not doing anything wrong, but it seems like he might be. He came to the Sun's game with a guest, and they came into the rah rah room and the guest introduced himself. And I said, oh, it's nice to meet you. And then I turned to him and I said, is this. Who's this guy? Is this young kid you're with? Because he was probably in his early 20s and the guy I'm talking to is about 50. And he goes, oh, that's my best friend's daughter's ex boyfriend. And I'm like, what are you doing, Jared, at the game with your best friend's daughter's ex boyfriend? How did you even get to be friends with your best friend's daughter's ex boyfriend? And he goes, oh, I go over to the house every once in a while and he was there. And we kind of hit it off like, nope, you can't do this. This can't be a thing. You can't just have new young boy friends that you're trolling around.

[Brady]

I mean, look at him. He's a little cherub.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he was. He was an adorable. And like, you look like you're a little. Like you're. You're boy stealing. Nobody thinks that but you. And I'm like, nuh, Daddy, why don't you go over there and dance into the spotlight for the father, father, son dance? But he's like, you think that's weird? And I'm like, if I told you, hey, I can't take you to the Suns game tonight. I'm going with my best friend's daughter's ex boyfriend. You'd start doing the math in your head and going, why is he even friends with that kid? It came out later that the kid works at a golf course. This guy's a pretty heavy golfer. And he's getting some free stuff from.

[Brett Vesely]

Brady would do that.

[John Holmberg]

Brady would definitely do that.

[Brady]

I got two or three guys already.

[John Holmberg]

They're young boys. In your pen. Yeah. It's automatically ready.

[Brady]

I got to wake him up now.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing about it. I'm fine with it. You show up with the, you know, my best friend's son's ex girlfriend. I'm like, you pervert. But that's what 50 year old midlife guys do. I get it. But the boy. And then the other side is, what's the boy want to hang out with him for?

[Brady]

Well. Rah rah room. Come on.

[John Holmberg]

The Rah rah room was because of me. He didn't know he was getting in there.

[Brady]

He took him along.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't know they were going to the Rah rah room. They went to the game not thinking they were going to the Rah rah room. I took him in.

[Brady]

He impressed the boy.

[Brett Vesely]

Bam.

[John Holmberg]

And the boy, I think is a captive. I even told him. I'm like, just blink twice if you need me to get you out of this because I think you're getting raped later. No. We've known each other for a while. I'm like, I hate how you met. I hate that you're here together. I hate that you said yes. What did you listen to on the ride over? Gonna Huncho or Bruce Springsteen or Luther Vandross? Which. Who got control of the radio?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, maybe people think the same. They see you and Doug together, too.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that is true. I look like Doug's young twink boyfriend. You're absolutely right. Yeah, that's true.

[Brady]

You guys come rolling up with the bad bunny on there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What'd you have? Bad bunny rolling Or. Or Stev. Yeah. Which one? Who got control? This is for me and Doug. This is Doug's themes. TV's Doug Hawkins. My pop, Pop. Get him, Luther. That was my favorite moment of the night. So, Vince. Trying to ruin that. Can't take that away from me. Vince, that was great. Next commercial, if I do one with him, it's only. Hey, I'm TV's Tug Hopkins from my home group. This is my boy John. And I'm going to make him say that and then just confuse people into thinking that he's got a. Thanks, dad. Thanks, dad. Silly. How's it today, Pop? I wear a little hat with a propeller on it. Knock it off. No, come on, people need to see it.

[Brady]

Hopkins and Son.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yes. Yes. Doug Hopkins becomes my Sanford. I'm passing business down to my boy. Anyway, that's what I need. I don't need this heavy stuff. Vince, I'm feeling for you, buddy. And this just proves something that I hate about myself. I am an emotional, empathetic human being. Ew. I don't want to be that. I like not being that. But I have feelings.

[Brady]

Yuck.

[John Holmberg]

And sometimes. And they're more than just for dogs. This guy's a stranger. I couldn't pick him out of a crowd. I'm guessing he's the one facing the wrong way, but I couldn't pick him out of the crowd. And he's got the Alzheimer's. And now I'm. I'm afraid of that. Hey, Vince, email me back and tell me, hi, Vince, It's John. It's kupd. Oh, boy. We gotta start all over, don't we? Email me back and tell me what the symptoms of this early ALS or Alzheimer's. You don't have it. Early Alzheimer's, that's the whole thing that I think.

[Brady]

Chris Hemsworth, he's got it. He's been diagnosed with it. How would you like to know that? By the way, you've got both genes that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's. That's different. I can handle that.

[Brady]

Develop into Alzheimer's. Now he's doing a program on Nat Geo where he's taking a motorcycle ride.

[John Holmberg]

With his dad, but he doesn't have the Alzheimer's. This dude's got it. He's got a chance. He's gonna get it later. Like, that's different. They do that with breast cancer and stuff. They look and they say, hey, you're probably gonna get breast cancer. They're like, oh, no. And then you can. That's what Angelina Jolie. She lobbed hers off before because she had the genetic thing to get to get it. Even though she didn't have it yet. She cut him off. She is a preemptive strike. One of the worst ones I've ever heard in my life.

[Brady]

So I guess his dad has it, and that's what this whole program's at. He takes him on a motorcycle, right?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so he doesn't have it.

[Brady]

He doesn't have it right now, but he has the gene. But his dad does.

[John Holmberg]

His dad.

[Brady]

Now they're doing one. Kind of like, classic motorcycle.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. I tells you what. Yeah, all this stuff is depressing. Just win the money, win the money, play the songs, do the fart jokes, and hope that they cure it with AI that is the Best thing about AI Right now, we're doing it for Indian Snoop Dogg. Bob Brett showed me a video of Indian Snoop Dogg.

[Brett Vesely]

Thanks, Sanjay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and it's great.

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[John Holmberg]

Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler?

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[98 KUPD Announcer]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

And that's what we're using AI for right now. But somebody smart is out there using AI. Imagine a smart guy who's using AI right now in a lab. He's got a Brett or a John next to him going, oh, you got to see this. He's like, this is not why we use AI. We are using it to cure diseases, not to make Snoop Dogg one of my people. You gotta hear him say Snoop. It's for some reason, it's just hilarious. It's like being at 7:11 with Snoop Doggy. Defensive in so many different ways. But he's gonna cure stuff because he's taken AI seriously. There's a few people out there taking it seriously. There's another group taking it to weaponize it. A few who are using it to cure stuff, some who are using it for their own benefit. And then people like Brett and I who are using it for Snoop Dogg dog. The Indian Brady's using it. It's being used against Brady. That's because you just don't know which ones are what Trying to figure it out. Yeah.

[Brady]

Is this real?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Haywood says, oh, man, this is tough. John, you have two dads now that Doug Hopkins is involved in your life and Toledo still has none. Yeah, I'm kicking. I'm kicking his ass in the dad department. Yeah. Hopkins is was not happy about that whatsoever. I loved it. Vince, I'm rooting for you, buddy. Rooting for you. You know what I was doing before I got Vince's email. So I'm thumbing through the Internet doing some stuff before I get Vince's email which has gravitas and weight and meaning. I was looking in to try to become a hand model. I saw an article that says you can make three grand a day as a hand. This is what my brain's doing while Vince is over there struggling with what's going to happen next. One time before not hand model. I've tried a few different body part model stuff but not hand model. I I and maybe and maybe I've mentioned that I would that's what I that when I retire from all this in a couple of years the I got, you know, figure something out. The hand modeling. These are. This is nice. Look at it's not too big, it's not too small. It's manly and yet.

[Brady]

What would you rate it on one out of ten?

[John Holmberg]

My left hand is an eight.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

My right hand is a little less than it's got a couple knuckle issues from basketball. I've been not recent but years ago I busted up my but it looks kind of they're rugged but they're also not they're also classy. I think I can do it. And for three grand a day that seems like a nice retirement gig over you know, reach for a thing of sunny delight and and just piss people off like Doug Hopkins room like so I'm seeing you for a couple years. What are you doing now? Modeling. All right.

[98 KUPD Announcer]

God damn it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm leaving. This is it. Yeah. Your son's a model. Should be proud. You should be proud of I'm your boy. I can't be ignored. So Yeah, I started 3,000 bucks. I think I have a nice middle aged long elegant fingers that still look like I could pick up a hammer even though I really would have probably hurt. Don't do that. No, I don't want to do that. My nails could I probably get a manicure and make them look even better.

[Brady]

But I could make a call maybe get you in on the Knight Rider jewelry. They're kind of. What's that Bigger rings like Stallone wears them.

[John Holmberg]

Knight Rider kind of biker type biker.

[Brady]

Jewelry even perfect for grabbing the handlebars.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because it looks like a guy who's like, this guy's done some stuff, but he also might be a lawyer. I look like I got weekend projects that I kind of dabble in, but I'm not gonna wreck these beauties. So that was what I get. And then Vince tells me, life means things. Life has meaning. I'm like, no, A second ago, I was almost a hand model, but then I realized that I don't have any idea how to be a hand model. Like, on Instagram. I just call myself that and start doing hand videos. You're gonna give me.

[Brady]

Start taking pictures of your hand holding stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my hands are qualified for that? Yeah. That's like this.

[Brady]

I'm holding your handle of vodka.

[John Holmberg]

That's a hand model. I could see my hands better than the guy in that picture. And that's. That might be Gene Simmons. Paul, though.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, of course it's jewelry.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. It is jewelry line. Jewelry Super. There. That's exactly right. Brett. Look at all the jewels. You can do that Ugly.

[Brett Vesely]

They get a manicure.

[John Holmberg]

Knight Rider jewels. That is some ugly ass jewels. Wow.

[Brady]

It's badass.

[John Holmberg]

No, it isn't. And see, now that guy's got hands like me, huh? Except for he's black. Yeah, well, you know, just got to clean up my fingernails as, you know, not make up. They have to be more symmetrical. They're clean. But I think I can be a hand model. This is the kind of crap I need to think about. Not Vince tooling around with life crashing down down on them. Not the waitresses at the Rah Rah Room, the happiest place in the world moping around because her boyfriend made him mad. I need people to be okay around me at all times. It's just not. It's just, you know, it's not right. I don't need to know. Brady had his things. That's close. Heck, I see him every day. And we got through that with flippant nonsense and laughs. And that's how you do it. Can't take that responsibility. The other big story of the day, outside of Vince having his issues, is that. Hey, who had Antonio Brown for attempted murder on November 6th? Probably somebody that was definitely in Dubai. Yeah. Now there was the twist. The fanduel odds on yeah look low. We all knew we'd get. I always look at things. I have my before Ralphie May and after Ralphie May. Ralphie May was my first friend I knew was going to die. I knew why he was Going to die and how he was going to die. I knew it. Everybody did, and I just didn't know when. So when people always say it's a new thing, people say all the times. Didn't have that on my bingo card. Well, I did. I had that on my bingo card.

[Brady]

It sped up.

[John Holmberg]

It was the tail end. No, it was a. It was about right there. I don't think there was anything that was like, wow, shockingly fast. I think we're like, yep, this is. We're right on pace here any day now. But when the call comes, you're still like, well, today's the day I. This. I knew I would eventually get this. We all have a. A family member who's like, a drug addict or something. Like, someday the phone's gonna ring and it's gonna be the news. You just don't know what day Antonio Brown murdering somebody or being arrested for trying to murder someone was the call we all knew we'd get. We just didn't know when that was gonna happen. It was. Every day was a possibility. So yesterday, all my friends are texting me, see this?

[Brady]

See this?

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, there wasn't. There wasn't an ounce of. Oh, my God. Remember when OJ killed all those people and you found out OJ's wife died? You don't think. And then when they started to give us, like, O.J. did it. We all had that feeling of like, I can't believe this happened. Like, we didn't see that coming. Bill Cosby raping people didn't see Antonio Brown in a. In a murder case. Yeah, that was gonna happen. Dubai was the twist. They had to go get him in Dubai and bring him back here.

[Brett Vesely]

And it was part of the parlay.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, you'd have been good, you.

[Brett Vesely]

Know, if you just took the. You know, the.

[Brady]

He was safe until Dubai says get out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The payout on Antonio Brown. Attempted murder charge, extradition check. Check those two. And then the. And then the location. You've been like, ooh, mister, by one. And Dubai. And then, of course, you miss your parlay. By one. But that was the big part of the parlay, to pay it out. Hook would have had that, but it screwed me. But, yeah, Antonio Brown is now in custody for attempted murder. I have a feeling. Because it started as Antonio Brown arrested on murder charges, and then. And then it was attempted murder. It was for those guys he got into a fight with a while back in May, and they had a gun, and he started to chase people. Guy, the. The victim's name is Zul Carnian Kwame Nontombu. No, they just call him zq. Antonio snapped on him at the boxing event with, you know, some Internet influencers and then tried to shoot him with a handgun. And Brown. Antonio's like, ah, none of that actually occurred, you know, afterward. And then the police looked at videos and said, no, that's pretty much exactly what happened. And then there was gunshots that. And he started running. But it wasn't that they knew that he shot it. And they. Antonio Brown might be going to jail. He's only 37.

[Brady]

He's like, he's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But wouldn't they deal with it there in Dubai? Yeah, no, because he did it here in the States. This was a. He didn't do anything.

[Brady]

Happened in Dubai.

[John Holmberg]

No, this was back in May. And Antonio decided to head on over to UAE for some. For a little while for things cool off, I guess. He's not exactly a lay low type. You don't go over to Dubai and sit quietly like, he's gonna go over there and buy some knockoff Gucci's and Birkin bags and stuff for people.

[Brady]

Needs a little space between when he's.

[John Holmberg]

Knocking out tweets and being like wildly racist against his own people. There's something wrong with that cat. But yeah, nobody, nobody was surprised by this. Antonio Brown, come on, have him talking to my dad last. I mean, Doug Hopkins last night. And he was like, yeah, we all knew that was coming. Like, of course we did. Not a soul didn't see this. We just didn't know the Ralphie's was. I remember when I got the call, said, are you all right? Sitting down, I'm like, oh boy, what happened? And Joel, who owns the comedy clubs in town, goes, ralphie passed away last night. I found. And my first words were, okay, today's the day. And it still stung because you lose, you know, your friend. But you knew, someday this was going to be the call I'm going to get. And it was exactly as you imagined it. Ralphie, you know, massive heart attack and got found. That's exactly what we knew would happen with him now the fanduel. And Ralphie was what was his last meal. And I'd have won that too, because it was Jack in the box. And that's full circle because one of his first famous bits was Jizzack and the B Ox. When he'd go, he was going in there.

[Brady]

I thought it was like Fruity Pebbles or something. I thought he was having.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, he had. Well, they went To Jack in the Box the night before. He probably ate something in the morning, too. But the Jack in the Box was the big, like, drive around the middle of night, grab some Jack in the Box, take it back to the house, and he. And his. His opener.

[Brady]

Because I thought Hicks. Hicks or hick.

[John Holmberg]

Spic flair.

[Brady]

Spic flair.

[John Holmberg]

That was the opener. Yeah. Yeah. He was one who found him. But he didn't hear Ralphie fall down outside. It was, you know, it's not good, but you knew it. Antonio Brown's another one. I would have won the parlay on Ralphie had I guessed the right date. October, blah, blah, blah. This year. Jack in the Box. In the system when they got him, like the shark. License plate, boot. Jack in the Box. But, yeah, and then I kind of realized, oh, I have people in my life that I know. I had a buddy named Grant years ago. He bucked that trend. We didn't used to say if Grant dies. We'd say when Grant dies. It was semantics. But nobody actually realized that that was. Well, when Grant dies, we're all going to have this, though. And he was in his 20s, but he was abusing himself so badly, we're like, there's no way this guy can sustain this life. We're going to get to call someday. Nope. Grant's thriving, lives in Ohio, still around, doing great. Yeah. And I saw him a couple years ago, and he's still redlining life. He's still throwing it out there, burning that thing all the way up. So if you've got that friend today, maybe check in with him and have some meaning in your life, like Vince is making me do. Thanks, Vince. Now I got to do some Irish Scottish character later today. That hilarious or Vince's Alzheimer's gets worse. It's not fair. You're putting too much pressure on me. I might as well have been diagnosed with something. All I want to do is quit this job and be a hand model. Don't you people understand? Laying your problems on me ain't right. Let's get a wake up song. Maybe for Vince, maybe for Doug Hopkins, my pop pop. We do Everclear, Father of Mine, Maybe for Doug.

[Brett Vesely]

Cats in the Cradle from Ugly Cats in the Cradle.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good. I like that. For me and Doug Popkins. Yeah. Give us a Wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up.

[98 KUPD Announcer]

Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

He said fully erect.