11-10-25 - Pair Of MLB Pitchers Indicted On Gambling Charges For Fixing Outcomes - John's Theory On Certain Names Never Winning A Title - John's Neighbors Hosted An Event And Gawked At One Of The Attendees

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – November 10, 2025

Episode: Pair Of MLB Pitchers Indicted On Gambling Charges, John’s Name Theory, & Gawking Neighbors

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness blends heavy sports news with the show’s classic, irreverent banter. The team dives into the recent MLB gambling scandal involving two pitchers, explores John’s comedic theory on certain names never winning championships, and recounts hilarious residential escapades involving John's neighbors. Interwoven are candid listener stories, pop culture riffs, and a deep, running commentary on how modern sports betting is impacting the games and its players.

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Main Segments & Key Discussion Points

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1. MLB Gambling Scandal: Integrity in Sports at Risk

[10:11–22:29]

• News & Reaction: Two MLB pitchers, Emmanuel Clase and Luis Ortiz, are indicted for allegedly fixing game outcomes for sports bettors, tossing intentional balls to help cash certain bets.

  • “Emmanuel Clase and Luis Ortiz... indicted on charges that they took bribes from sports bettors to throw certain types of pitches, including tossing balls in the dirt on purpose instead of strikes.” (John Holmberg, 10:31)
  • John highlights the fears coming true since the rise of online betting: handheld devices turn everyone into a “walking sportsbook.”
  • “You now have a casino in your hand at all times.” (John Holmberg, 11:04)

• The Mechanics of Fixing Games:

  • They explore just how granular sports bets get, from “two base on balls in an inning” to whether a pitcher walks two batters.
  • Unusual betting patterns around specific events can flag investigators—“That’s a red flag. How do you know that's gonna happen?" (John Holmberg, 17:46)
  • Players, especially those from impoverished backgrounds in places like the Dominican Republic or Venezuela, may be more vulnerable to mob or cartel pressure.
  • Tension between financial opportunity and personal background: "It's not about them making money. It's about the people surrounding them." (John Holmberg, 15:56)
  • The show draws the historical connection to Pete Rose and to the 1919 Black Sox scandal, suggesting this is an old issue reborn.

• Fixing in Other Sports:

  • Basketball and football discussed as even “easier” to manipulate via player props or last-second plays (e.g., suspicious penalties to extend a drive).
  • John and crew reflect on suspicious moments in recent NFL games (e.g., Jets vs. Browns), highlighting how a single odd play can shift millions in bets.

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2. Name Theory: Can Certain First Names Be Champions?

[29:15–34:41]

• Holmberg’s Running Joke: John humorously posits that some names just don’t ever win major sports titles—singling out Cardinals QB Keaton Slovis as an example.

  • “Keatons don’t hold Lombardi trophies. You never hear: ‘That man right there is a hero. What’s his name? Keaton!’ No, he wasn’t a hero.” (John Holmberg, 29:16)
  • The crew lists Super Bowl-winning quarterback names, noting classic strong names like Joe, Tom, Ben, Jerry… but never a Keaton or Kaden.

• Bantery Debates:

  • Arguments arise over names like Eli (tough and old-school), Peyton (the exception), and modern outliers like Jalen or Lamar.
  • Hilarious riffs on the “curse” of ginger-haired quarterbacks and oddball names—“Again, no Jeeves will ever win a Super Bowl. He’ll be a butler for somebody who did, though.” (John Holmberg, 31:36)

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3. The Impact of Background: Poverty, Fame, and Entitlement

[23:02–27:20]

• Discussion on Players’ Social Circles: John warns about the pressure players face from family and friends back home, arguing pro athletes should emotionally detach from old relationships—except for charity.

  • “All the people that you think are your friends now that you’ve gotten to where you are... best advice I can give you? Don’t have those friends anymore.” (John Holmberg, 24:42)
  • Anecdote: A fan complains to John about his cousin in the NFL not “sharing the money.”

• The Trouble With Sudden Wealth:

  • Comparison to celebrities like MC Hammer—“He got tapped pretty good... He got hammered. Pardon the pun.” (Sky & John, 27:20)
  • The panel reflects on the difficulties of reconciling new wealth and old roots, especially in cultures where communal expectations are high.

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4. Fake Paternity Scandals & Listener Stories

[03:38–06:46]

• Wild Emails From Listeners:

  • Tense and bizarre stories: Listener recalls a small-town Alaska scandal involving fake paternity, manipulation, and eventual tragedy.
  • John jokes about the timeless wisdom of using “slush funds” in the world’s oldest profession to quietly handle potential paternity surprises.
  • Classic dark humor about finding “frozen condoms in the freezer” as a warning sign.

• On Paternity Drama:

  • John and Toledo share a laugh about people wanting paternity tests between John and TV-ad regular Doug Hopkins.

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5. Neighborhood Gossip & The Great Sushi Party

[34:41–41:17]

• Party at John’s: John recounts hosting a sushi charity party (although his friends did the “putting together”), where his gay neighbors stole the show.

  • “Michael says, ‘Oh, boy. Troy's wet now.’ And I'm like, oh, you guys can do that with each other...” (John Holmberg, 35:25)
  • The difference between gay and straight male relationships: How openly admiring a good-looking guest becomes a team sport, not a source of jealousy.

• Marriage Statistics & Social Commentary:

  • John cites statistics that male gay marriages are the most successful, joking that “it’s because there are no women involved!”
  • “70% of lesbian marriages end in divorce. 50% of heterosexual marriages end in divorce. 25% of gay male marriages end in divorce. It’s by far the most successful form of marriage and why—there’s no women involved.” (John Holmberg, 38:38)

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6. Valley Arts, Phoenix Theater & A Weekend Gala

[41:17–46:35]

• A Local Hidden Gem: John raves about attending the Phoenix Theater gala, describing the beautiful renovation and the vibrancy it brings to the city’s arts scene.

  • “If this gets done right, we will be a place people move to do theater. This theater is so gorgeous...” (John Holmberg, 43:16)

• Encouragement to Engage in the Arts: John and the crew encourage listeners to check it out, even comparing the theater’s sound to that of the Musical Instrument Museum, another “silent little gem.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On MLB Gambling:
  “You now have a casino in your hand at all times. Anywhere you are, for the most part, walking around, you can place bets.”
  — John Holmberg (11:04)

• On the Temptations Facing Athletes:
  “It’s not about them making money. It’s about the people surrounding them.”
  — John Holmberg (15:56)

• On “Championship Names”:
  “Keatons don’t hold Lombardi trophies… If he changes his name to like Jake. Now that’s a hell of a name. Jake Slovis. That’s a football champion player.”
  — John Holmberg (29:16)

• On Gay Marriage Success Rate:
  “70% of lesbian marriages end in divorce. 50% of heterosexual marriages end in divorce. 25% of gay male marriages end in divorce... and why—there’s no women involved!”
  — John Holmberg (38:38)

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Highlighted Timestamps

• [10:31] – MLB Gambling Scandal Details
• [17:46] – Betting Granularity & Red Flags
• [23:02] – Socioeconomic Pressures on Pro Athletes
• [29:15] – John’s Name Theory: Who Can Be a Champion?
• [34:41 & 35:25] – Gay Neighbors Gawk at Party Guest
• [38:38] – Marriage Statistics & LGBT Commentary
• [41:17] – Phoenix Theater Gala Review

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Tone & Style

The conversation is candid, irreverently funny, and highly relatable to local and national sports culture. John’s humor leans into dark and edgy territory, offset by the camaraderie and easy banter with his co-hosts. The team juggles insightful commentary with comedic exaggeration—a hallmark of Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

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Final Thoughts

For listeners, this episode offers a multifaceted ride: hard-hitting sports news, biting social commentary, signature comedy, and true-life stories, all painted vividly in the culture of Arizona mornings. Even without hearing the show, this summary provides the essence, tone, and content of what makes Holmberg’s Morning Sickness so engaging.

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Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from my friends at New Vision Auto Glass. Six weeks and counting. My windshield is still perfect. Call New Vision Auto Glass, and after about 15 minutes on the phone, you'll get everything you need. You can get up to $375 back. Visit new visionautoglass.com to see what you qualify for. Then you get that delicious free dinner from the world famous Brazilian steakhouse Rhodesio Grill, now in Mesa and their new location in Scottsdale. There's no excuse for you not to have a good piece glass on that car. I don't want to hear it. Pick up the phone and fix it. 480-210-9090. New Vision Auto Glass, proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondbacks. Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here.

[Brett Vesely]

Come on.

[Byron]

No, no, he's not.

[John Holmberg]

He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Thank you. Miles to nowhere as we creep up ever so close to Playo, which I believe is 14 short days away. Well, 13 and a half now. Two Mondays from now, we'll be starting Plato and Toledo had a spam issue, so we normally take 30 bands for Palladio and it's first come, first served. Lawyers ruined everything. To where we used to raise money for charity and stuff, but they took it all away from us. Can't have people pay to be partisan. There's a donation. Can't have people donating. All right, fine. What do you want us to do? First come, first served. All right, fine. So we did it. And we take 30. Well, Toledo had seven or eight go to spam.

[Toledo]

The first day on Friday, I get an email from one of the bands. Geez, did you hate our song that much? We didn't even make it. Like we emailed you at like 6:10 on Monday. I'm like, I got nothing from you, sorry. And then I'm like checks band look back through and went through junk folder. There's like seven bands in there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh no. So now we have almost 40 bands for. That's 10 more cruddy bands than we expected. Yep. Better be a needle in the haystack if we amped it up to four.

[Sky]

Come on. Let's just say what seven out of eight or how many would have seven additional.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Sky]

Rather than ten More bad there may be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're right. Let's not jump up to 40. We're close. 37 or 38 of them still, that's too many.

[Toledo]

One out of ten. We should be able to find four.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's where we're. Yeah, that's what I you'd think. And we run like 1.3 decent songs out of every 10.

[Sky]

Twos more.

[John Holmberg]

2? Are you out of your mind? That are good.

[Sky]

Yeah. You said we saying four.

[Toledo]

If we have said. I said if we get one out of 10. Since we have 40. If we get four, then that's pretty good.

[Sky]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If we get four good bands out of that out of each 10, well it's a world record.

[Toledo]

And I'll just set your mind at ease.

[John Holmberg]

They're not. We'll see. Maybe.

[Dick Tolito]

Maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe you're wrong.

[Toledo]

Maybe I'm wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe you're wrong. It's crazy.

[Toledo]

We've been doing this long.

[John Holmberg]

A long time. You start getting good at it. I know what you're saying it is. Yeah. We're at 7 o'. Clock. Let me get to 7 o'.

[Sky]

Clock.

[John Holmberg]

Word to put into the ticket in the app promo box. Rich, Rich like you rich rich. That is the word for 7am can do that in about a minute. It'll open up at 7 o'. Clock. Pop that in there. Qualify yourself for another chance at $1,000. Good luck talking about those paternity things. Guy says. In my small hometown in Alaska, there was a girl who got pregnant with her dad's best friend. She was 16 and in order throwing the best friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was 16 and had to protect the situation. So she said her high school boyfriend. It was his. Oh man, that's brutal. The kid hung himself three days later. Truth came out a little while after. And somehow or another this Girl became a sympathetic figure in the community that she was coerced into this. She. She became some sort of ironic hero, and she knew everything that was going on. Oh, by the way, the old man that knocked her up was found in a lake a year later. I'm pretty sure the teen boy's dad did him in. Oh, my God.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Small town murder friend. Jimmy's gonna call you. He does a podcast about that stuff. Crazy. This one says the remedy to keep fake paternities have been happening, and they've been happening for as long as there's been a clock and there's been an answer to it. Hookers. You never once get a call from a hooker that says, guess what? I'm pregnant. They know it's the cost of doing business, and they've got a little swash fund to make slush. That's probably why they call it a slush fund, because prostitutes, world's oldest profession, making slush out of the stuff that could. It's going to hamper business. This guy says, I went back to a chick's place while she was getting changed. I got some ice from a freezer for drinks, and she had a few used frozen condoms in her fridge. Freezer. I got the hell out of there. That's a brand of crazy I would never understand.

[Sky]

Yikes.

[John Holmberg]

Says after my divorce a few years back, I tapped a girl in Sierra Vista, and two months later she called me and said she was pregnant. And I knew she was crazy when I did it. And I told her, hey, guess what? I had a vasectomy three years before I met you. So tap another. Tap another tree. How about this one? Back in the late 90s, we sued my brother in law. We had him served at work by a lawyer, and for a week and a half he was sweating before we finally sent him another letter from Dewey Cheatham. And how the best joke ever. No, not maybe to you.

[Sky]

No.

[Toledo]

That dude having gone through it. No, That's a horrible joke.

[John Holmberg]

Dying inside. So, John, this is a different topic. John and the rest. I saw your ad on the app the other day with TV's Doug Hawkins, and I couldn't get out of my head why he was so familiar, like I knew him. Then I figured it out, and it is scary. He's put a picture of Doug next to Carl Fredrickson from up the Pixar. And I'm like, you know, I've known Doug for a long time, and I think I might have made that joke not realizing how accurate it actually is.

[Toledo]

Jawline that's a.

[John Holmberg]

And just to clarify, because I didn't realize so many people had believed this. That is, Doug and I are not father and son. Just to reiterate what that person said to Doug the other day. Oh, you've been at this so long and now your son's in commercials with you and it eats Doug alive. He hasn't talked to me since Friday when he texts me something and I said, morning, dad. And he's like, I hate you. And then we haven't spoken since. So there's a chance that Doug and I are, you know, but he'll forget he's an old man. Doug and I are 13 months apart, 14 months apart. And it had to eat him alive. I. I celebrated that one in a huge way. And now you have your son in your commercials. Oh, Pop Pop. Hopkins.

[Toledo]

Another email. Asked if you would DNA test with Doug.

[John Holmberg]

I should just in case, because it is. I mean, the age disparity visually is. There is a possibility. He looks. Yeah, it's great. That's one of my favorite things that's happened a long time. And then with all that's looming around us, Alex had a nice letter. Alex worked here a long time ago. Said, I will tell you this. I think Brett's father must have been a great man. I don't know how Brett feels about me. I drove everyone nuts when I worked there, but Brett was always great to me. Had a chance to get me in a crap ton of trouble for no showing a concert I was supposed to be at. And Brett never once ratted me out. I came clean to him after clearly lying about everything that had happened. And he told me he wouldn't tell anyone and he never did after that. He even helped me make my first voice track and produce some stuff. I respect the hell out of Brett so much and him showing me what type of stand up guy he is shows that his dad must have been awesome as well. Thoughts with Brett? That's awesome. Thank you, Alex. That's very nice of you. And also kind of makes Brett a bad guy in the email in a weird way. It's like you can lie, commit crimes, and he'll never tell on you. What a guy. I agree. I agree. Yeah, Brett's going through it right now and I don't know. I don't have any information. I don't necessarily want to spill the beans. I want to die. Hope it. I hope that there's a lot more time with the two of them together, Brett and his dad, but that's no fun. People gonna Throw it at Kevin Falcone, who called us the day after his father passed and said he needed some jokes. He needed. And we just started to make fun of him and stuff. He said it was great. So we said, I'm gonna. And if you want to. You know what, Just fire off a nice letter to Brett [e-mail] A lot of people have been through this.

[Toledo]

Not good listeners. Were great. When I was going through it with my mom, I gotta. I gotta be honest.

[John Holmberg]

You just had it happen.

[Toledo]

And even Paula.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Paula even stepped up. Didn't know that. That she's back, by the way. She's fucking torp. You've been through it. Yeah, people have been through the. The yuck of it all. It does help to have this silly show.

[Toledo]

Have you called your parents lately?

[Dick Tolito]

Just.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna call my dad and get a paternity test today. I'm gonna make that happen. My mom.

[Toledo]

It's going through the show is what we're saying.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Everybody seems okay. We'll see. I know my dad could be laying under a horse getting knock on wood or is there.

[Toledo]

Is there any wood in this?

[John Holmberg]

My dad could be getting.

[Sky]

Find out who my.

[John Holmberg]

He could be getting CPR from high yellow right now. Who knows? We'll find out.

[Toledo]

You get that call from your stepmom?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, it's not my stepmom. Her name's Shauna. She's a nice lady, but she's not. She's not my mother. And then we had the gambling thing in baseball or in basketball a few days ago. Now in baseball, it's kicked up with two over pitches. Right? Big pitchers.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Emmanuel Class A class. And Luis Ortiz. Indicted on charges that they took bribes from sports bettors to throw certain types of pitches, including tossing balls in the dirt on purpose instead of strikes to ensure successful bets. Everything sports was afraid of with this handheld betting thing. The online betting is starting to happen five years after it started there. It's now that it's kind of permeated every major market of sport. And it's. Hey, we're not having too many problems. The vast majority of us use it properly for losing. But there was the element that once gambling became handheld. And everywhere you are, you are now a casino. You have a sportsbook in your hand at all times. Anywhere you are, for the most part, walking around, you can place bets. And if you happen to be with people who play the game, friends, whatever, and they owe you this or you owe them that, next thing you know, you can start to manipulate it. We're starting to see that these two guys for Cleveland aren't slackers. They're not slugs. This was a another one where it's like, what do we need to do? And he's dirt and a few balls. Cleveland didn't have a great year. They were good, but it wasn't like they were class. Yeah, but they tanked it at the end. So, I mean, they were. They were potentially really good. And then at the end of the season, like, what happened to the Indy Guardians? And. And then you start to wonder or they. Is it. They throw in games. Baseball still has the if you gamble and we catch you, you're out on baseball. You're done for good. Ask Pete Rose. It done for good. I don't know who would risk that or what kind of money they're in, but the mob is back, everybody, and in a big way. Because again, once. Once it ends, they say sp and you cannot get professional athletes to do this unless you're holding something over them. It's not the average Toledo that can make, you know, a guy for the Diamondbacks throw a game just so the two of them can make a few hundred bucks. This is big stuff. This is OSCE money.

[Announcer]

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[Sky]

Well, that.

[Toledo]

And like Dale aside, I know that when you do hit that big parlay, like say you hit that plus 4,000 parlay one time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Think about the scrutiny on every big win that it's going to come down right now I've had a couple of big. You're going to have a red flag on your big win.

[John Holmberg]

I've, I've won. It depends on your bet.

[Toledo]

No, I know.

[Dick Tolito]

That's what I'm saying.

[Toledo]

My history, they're going to look at it.

[John Holmberg]

My history of $100 bets, because that's usually just so I can do the math, is long and I lose a lot. And I've had a couple. I won 28 grand once and 14,000 because I build lottery tickets.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Mostly for basketball. I have like 14 piece parlays and I was just goofing around on it. And when I win it, I just use that as gambling money. So it's just like free money. It very rarely goes back to the big one. Did. But a couple of.

[Toledo]

You're not withdrawing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I've hit a few monsters. But I mean, for the most part it's like, all right, let's just whittle this down slowly. Over the last few years, probably five really good five figure hits off a hundred dollar bets. And I've had a couple of stupid ones. When I hit those big ones, I'm going to put a thousand bucks down on a hockey game just to see what I can do. And it goes away. And you're like, well, it was free money, but had that been happening a lot? And you start looking at guys that are betting, you know, $25,000 out of the blue on a thing and the guy. And he hits it. It's like that guy doesn't like. That's weird.

[Toledo]

Like he's not on the ninth player.

[John Holmberg]

Off the bench and it was off a weird shot.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Weird thing to say. The pitcher's gonna walk two in an inning. It's like, really? He's gonna two base on balls and you put 25 grand on that and he did it. That's a red flag. So we don't know what's going on with that. There's. It says there's. Of course they're protecting the players, which is even worse. They say there's no credible evidence Luis knowingly did anything other than try to win games with every pitch and every inning. He looks forward to fighting these charges in court. The problem is this sounds terrible. A lot of the people that play in major league baseball come from some of the poorest places there are. So it Isn't about them making money. It's about the people surrounding them. And look, Mexico, I know you guys will get mad at this. That country's not on the up and up.

[Toledo]

Mexico, Dominican.

[John Holmberg]

And then you can start getting some stuff together to get your family involved with bad people as you grow up. And then later you owe them. It's not about just taking a paycheck and cutting it. And here you go, cartel, because that they can do anytime they want. You owe them on the hold to say, let's keep this legitimate so you can pay everybody and why don't you dirt a couple of them? Why don't you plunk a guy or do something. Do something that we know for sure. Tell us what you're going to do.

[Toledo]

The only time we're going to ask, right?

[John Holmberg]

We can throw this, we can do this, this and this. And tell us what you're up to. And you start to manipulate your way because you've got 35 people, not just one behind you going, I know your uncle, I know your mom, I know your abuela, I know all this stuff. Dominican Republic is a just an absolute dump if you're not at the resorts. It is, it's Haiti. It's the same island. And some or another Dominican just. You divide that mountain in half and one side is this glorious destination, the other side's a dirty AIDS infested mess. It's the same island. It would be like dividing Glendale in half and saying one's glorious and the other isn't it. It's still that.

[Sky]

Donated some money for the Dominican repose for those areas that needed help.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Sky]

Because it's like prove that I dirty the balls and got. Well, you, you got this money from this person.

[John Holmberg]

You prove it by saying, how in the world did this specialty bet hit like five times? And why are there five or six fifty thousand dollar bets on that? Right. No one bet.

[Toledo]

You all of a sudden just started making in the last.

[John Holmberg]

So they've got some weird ones now.

[Sky]

Again, I didn't know you could bet on.

[John Holmberg]

You can bet on anything. You could, you can walk up and make a bet.

[Toledo]

If you bet on the pitch, you can play pitch ball or strike.

[John Holmberg]

You go to. Yeah, you can go to a sports book personally and just go, I want to build this. And they'll go, all right. They'll find ways to say this guy's going to walk two batters this inning.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Okay, dummies bet. And if he does, that's. That is a red flag because how do you know like, that's a really weird one. So you start looking at. And I'm not saying that they were walking people, but he's doing things to keep anything from happening. You know, if the other bet would be like, let's say Toledo's playing for the, for the Mariners and I'm pitching and we know that Toledo's, you know, two plus hit or a hit during the game. If we're like, we can bet against you having a more than one hit or something like that, I can make that happen. I'm in the eighth inning. I'm coming in to close this thing. I'm not going to give him a pitch to hit. I'm going to walk him.

[Sky]

I've asked multiple friends of mine that still live in Cleveland, including my brother. Are you part of this deal?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, you think he was in one got back from.

[Sky]

I haven't heard from my brother.

[Toledo]

But the one of these times you're going to go fishing and somebody's going to go, yeah, I was in on that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, your brother's going to be like, yeah, and I need bail money. Yeah. Either way, it's kind of strange, but it's. A U.S. attorney is in on it. So it's heavier than just like some guy going, hey, whoops. They've been investigating this. They say that Ortiz and Class A have betrayed America's pastime. Integrity, honesty and fair play are all we're looking for in the DNA of professional sports. And when corruption infiltrates the sport, it brings disgrace not only to the participants, but the damage to the public trust. I also go back to plucking 16 year old poor families out of the worst countries in the world and saying you guys were surrounded by gang members, cartels, all sorts of stuff, and everybody. That's not true of all of them. It's true of some of them, though, and it isn't true of all of them. But it only takes a couple and you get those guys out of the doctor. I mean, David Ortiz is a legend and they shot him eight times down there and he's still doing baseball. I mean, you go back down there and mess around, they're not screwing around with like hand slaps in those areas. And then you start realizing these guys mean business. I better do what they say. It has nothing to do with your paycheck. It has everything to do with them telling you what to do. It doesn't surprise me in baseball as much as any, like basketball was shocking. Basketball, it's an easy game to fix, but baseball is probably the Hardest to fix. We talked about it on the podcast to do with Hell Australia and Dave Nash. Baseball is probably the hardest one to get gamblers to say do this. Don't realize if you get in a pitcher, you know, dirt and a few baseballs or walking guys or hitting people. Totally different.

[Toledo]

I don't know.

[Sky]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

As far as player props go, I think it's probably one of the easier ones.

[John Holmberg]

You think?

[Toledo]

Because if I'm betting, you know, Cody Bellinger to go hitless as good and I can convince Cody Bellinger just swinging with it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you could talk to him to do it. But I mean, what's the value of it to Cody?

[Toledo]

No Cody Bellinger bad example. Find somebody from Venezuela or, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Some place that has a family, somebody.

[Toledo]

That'S got a little something on the.

[John Holmberg]

Line that the whole reason that you.

[Sky]

Were in the lineup.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, the whole reason you're in the majors is because this group propped you up down there. Like you'll get us some other day. So what the mob used to don't worry about it. You go win. We'll talk to you another time. And then five years down the road going, hey, if it wasn't for us, you wouldn't be where you are. We owe you or you owe us. It's weird but yeah. Baseball and basketball, all these sports are having these problems with. With this and it's. It ain't pretty, man. It's going to. It's going to screw up a lot of stuff.

[Sky]

Yesterday the Jags game, seven seconds left. It was one and a half points minus one half.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Sky]

And he gets tackled. Ball flies in the air.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Run back for a touchdown.

[John Holmberg]

Football super easy covered football super easy. You start looking at what the under over is when there's like a Rams.

[Toledo]

Phillies or Phillies Rams Eagles game earlier in the year same way it and.

[John Holmberg]

It affected the but all you need is a defensive holding which is an automatic first down and you can control.

[Toledo]

The drive and you're in field goal.

[Sky]

Range to Cleveland some make some money when the guy went off sides with there is fourth down and they did.

[John Holmberg]

You watch the Cleveland Browns and Jets game?

[Sky]

I saw no, I. It was red zone and it was.

[John Holmberg]

On the red zone.

[Sky]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They actually put it up there.

[Sky]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Because it was the last the only one that watched.

[John Holmberg]

Man. That's immediately I got to turn this off and go find something to do around the house. Anytime that they focus in on Jets Browns it's a bad morning for football. That should be that they should just send out a Newspaper article about that one. The most unwanted game in the history of sports. Jets and Browns. Somebody tried to say it last night at game day. It was Chris Rose. And he goes, exciting Jets, Browns game. He's a big Browns fan. And he goes, we'll just tell you the score. Yeah, there's no reason to do highlights of those two.

[Toledo]

Their special teams coach should be fired today.

[John Holmberg]

Well, everyone should just quit. You're a Browns coach or player. Just quit your job. But yeah, it's a weird thing. They said the betting was unusual. Said so. They saw a bunch of unusual betting just skyrocket on a thing whenever this guy would pitch. And like some people starting to win a lot on this. And it's a trend. It's. Yeah, it's. People don't like to see the reality of it, but when you pluck poor. It's Britney Spears. You can take the girl. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you can take the girl out of the woods. You can't take the woods out of the girl. She's still a hillbilly. All the success ever. She still does hillbilly stuff, tons of it. And it's getting worse as she gets older because she's detached from her roots of life. She has no identity. The only thing she identifies as is a lunatic hillbilly. That's true of everyone. You go back to the Dominican Republic and pull this kid out of poverty and plop him down and give him a ton of money. He's still got that in him. That's still there. You can't. That's why they always say that in basketball is a big one, too. And they're like, you know, came from the mean streets, this and that. And then you're surrounded by like a whole bunch of those guys and you start paying them and you feel bad and you know you made it and they didn't. So they always tell them, abandon your friends. That's a rookie symposium move in the NFL. Get rid of all your friends. Oh, I can't do that. It's like, forget where you came from. Give back through charity. But forget the people that, because they're going to take from you. All of them will see your success as theirs, too. And you will have to be emotionally detached from that. That can't be done. It's a suggestion, but it's very difficult to do. I had that guy come up to me a couple veterans days ago wearing a Ravens hat. I said, the Ravens? And he goes, yeah, my cousin plays for him. Like, oh, yeah, he was a punt returner. He Played for was a. Like, a fifth wide receiver. And I said, how about that? Your cousin plays for the Ravens. I said, well, that's pretty cool. Even though he's a Raven, that's pretty cool. And he goes, yeah, you'd think so. Like, what do you mean? He goes, I didn't see any of that money. And I just remember telling him, I'm like, you didn't earn any of that money. He goes, well, you think the family would be taken care of? Like, how far down the line?

[Sky]

You're a cousin third removed.

[John Holmberg]

Your one first cousins get nothing. I win the lottery. None of my cousins are getting a call, a paycheck, nothing. Not even aunts and uncles. I can give money to my dad and my mom, and I have to. I feel obligated to give you guys something because the show's over. So go figure your lives out, because I'm not here anymore. I'll drop down for you guys, and that's it. Anybody that expects more, that's it. Cousins. So they tell them when they get into the sports is like, hey, all the people that you think are your friends now that you've gotten to where you are, and it's immediate, and you're 23, best advice I can give you don't have those friends anymore. Oh, man, I can't do that. Yes, you can, because guess what? You don't live there anymore. The whole goal of being there was to leave if you're. I never understood that whole thing. I got to get back to where, you know, I can't forget where I came from. That's true. But that's called charity. And occasionally you come back when they name a street after you and you tell everybody, stay off drugs. And then you go back to your mansion in the good part of town. Nobody ever hits the, you know, the bigs. I made a. I got a big contract with the Orioles. I'm gonna go live in the projects where they filmed the Wire. That's not a thing.

[Announcer]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com the.

[Dick Tolito]

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[Toledo]

And here's how it works.

[Dick Tolito]

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[John Holmberg]

You move out, you're in Annapolis or you're up on you. You gotta commute to get back downtown where you used to live. Nobody does that. Who in the world would ever have poverty, make money and then say, I'm gonna stick around here just because that's my roots where I'm from. Look what happened to MC Hammer, for God's sake.

[Sky]

He got tapped pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

He got hammered. Pardon the pun. It's brutal. So, yeah, you take poor out of poor countries. Come on. Sky says, how about that second game the other night with the Suns and Clippers? Two offensive fouls on Booker. Basketball is the easiest game in the world to fix. Referees will do it. Players will do it. They've already had a problem with it. We're going through another one. But, man, this baseball thing, it just said to me, all right, Brett's people, they're starting to infiltrate. And they're not just Italian anymore. They're Jewish, they're Dominican, they're Mexican. They're all involved. And everybody's got the Internet, so it's real easy to start making a mess.

[Sky]

Stop the online betting, and go back.

[John Holmberg]

To the way it was, the way it used to be. Oh, man, it is. They're loving every second of this because you can actually, on the fly, make these bets. And I think that's pretty awesome. Once the guys in the game. You get into the game against Toronto, if you don't walk the first two, we have a problem. I'm gonna put like a hundred thousand dollars on walks or on guys getting hit or It's. It's crazy. So that's not a good thing. And that's coming that direction. I wonder if it's here. What if the Cardinals are tanking? Kind of looked like it yesterday. Did we see a Slovis sighting? Was my prediction. Slovis played. I told you guys, get used to your Slovis because he's coming in.

[Toledo]

I mean, I think there was. It was actually like six minutes left, but yeah, they were kind of like, all right, on this one, Slovis will.

[John Holmberg]

Be your quarterback before the year's over.

[Toledo]

I give Passion Shipley some credit because for most of the fourth quarter, they're like games within reach. It's. It's three scores, granted. It's three touchdowns and three two point conversions.

[John Holmberg]

You were getting killed. They're.

[Toledo]

They're within. They're within range.

[John Holmberg]

And they thought that Clovis. Slovis was going to be the one to do it. I don't know. His first.

[Toledo]

He didn't say that.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Toledo]

They're preserving Keaton.

[John Holmberg]

K E D O. Keaton Slovis.

[Toledo]

Eden Slovis.

[John Holmberg]

Keaton. No, I wouldn't even draft Keaton Slovis. I know he's from around here, but Keaton's don't. Keatons don't hold Lombardi trophies. They just don't. You never hear like, man, that man right there is a hero. What's his name? Keaton. No, he's not a hero. Somebody else. He was near it, but he wasn't. Yeah, Slovis, you're. Somebody's going to wear a Slovis jersey. And here's the other thing. Cardinal fans, you're going to have friends coming soon that are going to start saying, we've got to go with Slovis. It's going to. You're going to be so blinded by how bad this team is that you're going to think that Slovis is an option. And I just tell you, Max Hall, John Skelton, you've been through this before. Slovis will play. And to the Slovis family, congratulations. He's in the bigs. But Keaton Slovis can't hoist a Lombardi just because of his first name. If he changes his name to like Jake. Now that's a hell of a name. Jake Slovis. That's a. That's a football champion player.

[Dick Tolito]

Props for Keaton Slovis.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, take a look at those. Will he play? Won't he play? Keaton Slovis.

[Toledo]

Will he throw a pass?

[John Holmberg]

Uh, oh, yeah. No, I'm good. Keaton Slovis is a. It's not a. It's not a.

[Sky]

Lower money. Yesterday, some prop bets on the side.

[John Holmberg]

Probably like Jacoby would fall down 114 times. Under over. Yeah. Keaton. You named your kid Keaton, you just named your kid to be a non champion. Sorry. I can tell by names. If anybody's gonna win it, look at the names in football. Super bowl champs. The weirdest one is Peyton. Yeah, that's it.

[Sky]

The softest one.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's just a soft girl's name.

[Toledo]

Eli is a little weird.

[John Holmberg]

Eli's a tough, badass, Civil War name. Oh, yeah, Eli's great. Every time I picture Eli, they've got those big, like. Do those mutton chop things like. Civil War generals are named Eli. Eli's a badass dance.

[Toledo]

Dan Fouts, Dan Marino.

[John Holmberg]

Dan never won one. Neither of those guys want them. Stands are okay, but you got Jim's and John Steves. Yeah. Steve's and Joe, Tom, Ben, Jerry. Aaron. Yeah, they're all Aaron.

[Toledo]

When you say Russell, that makes us up.

[John Holmberg]

But Aaron on first blink, Aaron, That's a champion's name. Aaron's okay. It's better than Keaton.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I agree there.

[John Holmberg]

You set your child in motion with this name. His fate is sealed by his name. Again, no Jeeves will ever win a Super Bowl. He'll be a butler for somebody who did, though.

[Toledo]

Let's see. Sam. Sam Bradford. No, no, Sam's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It makes me a friend said, speaking of tanking, how was the Steelers game? Jordan, my friend who's a lippy.

[Toledo]

Jordan.

[John Holmberg]

Jordan will never hold the championship. Chicks. Now, if his last name was. He was named after a champion, which is even worse.

[Toledo]

Jordan Palmer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Couldn't even be in the league long. Yeah. Anyway, he gets mouthy about things. He's one of those guys who makes fun of other teams when they're down, like when they have a bad game. He's one of those types of people, you know, a woman. So he does that. He just said, how about the tanking game of the Steelers? I think. Hey, look, you look at that one. You got to think somebody was on the take on gambling. I don't know what the hell was going on on that field last night. They can do anything, but at least no one on the team's name is Keaton. And I'm just talking quarterbacks. You could have. This is that. This is that Ginger arguments, like, it's very difficult to be a Ginger and hoist the Lombardi.

[Toledo]

Shush, Sam.

[John Holmberg]

Not gonna hoist. You know what? They can screw around because they're. They're Warlocks. They can screw around. Yeah, yeah. They're. They're like, ooh, he's got a little power. And then when the Warlocks time comes due and the crossroads are met, they get beat by a gym or a tom who have dark Hair.

[Toledo]

Get rid of Gino. We got one playoff game.

[John Holmberg]

The Seahawks will lose. Well, I mean, Matthew will beat them. Stafford, you got a lot.

[Toledo]

Find out this weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I mean.

[Toledo]

Jared.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, even Jalen. Jared won a Super Bowl.

[Toledo]

Golf. No, no, he hadn't won it too. Yeah, he won.

[John Holmberg]

Jared's close, but he's. He ain't gonna win anything. It's. It's. You've set it in motion with real man's names. Kaden Keaton.

[Sky]

Out.

[Toledo]

Jalen, Steelers third string quarterback is a winner.

[John Holmberg]

Jalen's a good name. It's a good modern kind of like. All right, I'll give you that one. Jalen doesn't sound.

[Toledo]

Feels like more of a defensive lineman name than it does a quarterback.

[John Holmberg]

It's a. Yeah, there's going to be a few that'll surprise you. Like Lamar, unfortunately. Pretty good kind of modern. Let's move forward. Could do it. Lamar could, but I don't think he will. Joe's a great one. It's good. Colin Drew. Colin never won one, did he? No, he lost. The Ravens got him. And he lost to a Joe. Yep. Yeah, I can tell you right away with a Steelers third string quarterback's name is Skyler Thompson because he's keeping us from ever having a chance because he can't even be the third string quarterback and have a lumbar. You can't have anybody named Sky. Kerry Collins lost badly. Yeah, very badly. And he was drunk. He doesn't even remember. Yeah, about this. I'm right about this.

[Sky]

Could Baker break through?

[Toledo]

Baker's enough of a unique name.

[John Holmberg]

Probably sort of a manly.

[Toledo]

Yeah, because it's not. There's not a lot of Baker.

[John Holmberg]

It's sort of a manly gay name. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Like if you met a Baker at the gay bar, you wouldn't be surprised. But he'd be a tough. He'd be a tougher gay guy. I'm Baker. Look. Oh, this guy's a top.

[Brett Vesely]

Trevor.

[John Holmberg]

Did he win a championship?

[Toledo]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

You're just going through the.

[Toledo]

Well, he won a national title.

[John Holmberg]

That's not football. Pop Warner doesn't count anyway. Yeah, you get into that kind of stuff and it's a. Speaking of gays, I hung out with my gay neighbors a lot this weekend.

[Toledo]

Did you go driving with them again? That was a great story.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It got better. It got better. So last week when they're driving together and they're yelling at each other about how bad one drives versus the other, they weren't mad. They were like together in road Rage together in like, get around this. That kind of stuff. Instead of having a wife tell you're going too fast, grabbing your arm and stop. Oh my God, you're gonna get a skill. They don't do that. They don't do that there. It's every man for himself. And it was. It was refreshing. So I'm with him this weekend. We had a thing, kind of a work, sort of a weird work event. Friday trip bid on some giant in house sushi party and won it months ago, like thousands and thousands of dollars to a charity. And he won the sushi party for my. And it was amazing. But it was basically, he said, we're gonna have it at your house because I don't have enough room. I'm like, all right. I'm like, but I'm not doing a thing. Like, you and Jen put this together, I will open the doors. And that's it. Because I don't want to be on the dole for who I invited who I didn't. I'm not playing that game. And he goes, yeah, fair enough. And he didn't do anything either. He just put it on Jenny cheese. Yeah, he had no. That was for football. Didn't have to bring any food. Anyway, it was the night of the charity thing. Our my gay neighbors were at the dinner table. So anybody that was at the charity table that we were at got to be. Got to go. So. Well, not everybody, but the people that Jen remembered and I don't. And I said, I'm not doing this. I'm not. Nobody's getting on me for this. So the gays were there, and at the end of the night, we're playing pickleball and we're doing all sorts of stuff, put everything to use, and everybody's having a nice time. And at the end of the night, my friend Joe, who I haven't seen in a long time, called and said, hey, I'm close by. Do you want to grab something? Like, I actually got people over here more than welcome to come by. He goes, okay. He was at the Grand Canyon basketball game because he's friends with a guy who coaches for Youngstown State. So he's like, I got a couple people. So like 12 people showed up at probably at like 11:30. We were all wrapping it up. So I'm like, all right, this thing's going to keep going. So we're hanging out back there. One of the guys that showed up was. You remember the. When in Bugs Bunny cartoons, they drew the Roman guy and he was like, big Schnauzer. But it wasn't big. It was just Roman. It was a Roman nose. It was a perfect nose. And it was a perfect. And he was. This dude shows up, and he's just. He's in great shape. He's got the Roman face. His face is a little bit wet. Like he just got out of a magazine. Like, he just climbed out of a magazine. It looked. It was almost shiny. And you notice, like, oh, there's a. There's a young, handsome young man right there. Troy and Michael tripped all over themselves. And here's the thing I heard when he walked by, and this could never happen to a heterosexual couple. Michael says, oh, boy. Troy's wet now. And I'm like, oh, you guys can do that with each other. Goes, oh, he's so hard for that kid right there. And they were happy about it. Like, he's so hot. And they just talked about. And he'd follow him around, and I'm like, just openly flirting and playing with a guy who may or may not even be gay. They were just enamored with the way it looked. And I just thought to myself, boy, oh, boy, how much easier it would have been for us guys if we allowed that in our marriages. And things like that hot girl comes in and just turned to your wife and go, man, I am gonna. I would love to just place my face between those cans and blow. What's wrong with you? You didn't see her. She's hot. Women couldn't handle it. Two dudes seeing a dude that both of them would nail became dudes. Like, strong dudes. Buddies high fiving. The kid dropped something, went to tie his shoe or something. The two of them were like. He did that. They were clapping together. All right. Like, the married. I'm like, this is. This is better. And it goes back to the statistic. 70% of lesbian marriages end in divorce. 50% of heterosexual marriages end in divorce. 25% of gay male marriages end in divorce. It's by far the most successful form of marriage and why there's no women involved. The worst one is when two women are involved.

[Dick Tolito]

It's Nick Toluto from Homer's morning sickness. For our friends at FanDuel who want you to know that every NFL Thursday is your chance to hit the jackpot with FanDuel. And that's because with FanDuel's Thursday touchdown jackpot, you can win a share of $2 million in bonus bets each week. And to get in on this Thursday's action, all you have to do is place an anytime touchdown scorer bet before the game kicks off and if your player scores the first or last TD of the game, you'll win your bet plus a share of bonus bets bets 21 plus and present in Arizona opt in must apply profit boost token on select market prize pool to be split equally among all eligible participants who made the correct first or last TD pick Bonus issued is non withdrawable bonus bets which expire 21 days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text next step to 533-42.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmerg here from the Morning Sickness to talk to you about my friends at Trajan Wealth. A man who had quite a bit of money and a whole bunch of stuff decided to write up on his computer his will and trust. The day before he passed, he rewrote the entire the old document was deleted and the new one was timestamped by the computer. One day before he died, the court told the man's son that the document wasn't legal. Call the team at Trajan wealth. Sit down and take care of this so your family doesn't go through anything awful. Getting a plan together is so much easier than procrastinating. Call 480-990-3300 Trajan Wealth Legal Services are offered through Trajan estate law firm, LLC. Holmberg's morning sickness Jim Jeffrey said, yeah, 100% more women. 100% more women.

[Toledo]

Worst divorce rate.

[John Holmberg]

Horrible. Cut that in half. Still pretty bad. Eliminate it completely. These guys are getting it together. And why? Because they can look at other stuff that they both admire and go, you know what if you don't. That I'm going to. Oh, just drove me nuts. And to that Roman man.

[Toledo]

Can't find the Roman character. But this is the. This is their Marine depiction.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, kind of that. But there was the Roman dude that they used to draw. The nose is like, it sticks out a little and then goes straight down. He had that very same face. And I'm and I was like wondering what the hell's going on. And then of course, he's like, we have a dirty Lebaron situation. We have a chocolate LeBaron. And I'm like, no, no, no, nobody's chocolate Lebaroning anything. What are you two talking about?

[Sky]

Like a hybrid, Like a Greek nose.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that Greek kind of. Yeah, that. God knows in the back they have.

[Toledo]

They have.

[John Holmberg]

It's in their bedroom. Yeah. Yeah. You reach up and turn the, the overhead light off in the old LeBaron, make the chocolate LeBaron. Michael even said that last night. He goes telling. He's telling my friend Mark about the dirty LeBaron. And Mark started laughing and he said. And he said, you know about that, right? And I said, do I know about it? We've made it public knowledge. Like your chocolate LeBaron story is part of. Oh, my God. Really? I'm like, yeah, chocolate LeBaron, white interior dude who didn't met a musil up the night before. You're shooting that wedding fondue all over the inside of a white lebaron. Yeah, we know all about it. I hate you, Humber. Like, yeah, I know, but don't tell me those stories. Those are rich. Rich in Americana. So, yeah, I was proud of the boys. It was fun hanging out with them this weekend. We had a nice time. Then I went to the. By the Way, the Phoenix Theater had their annual gala. And I go to that because I have gay neighbors and we do things for each other when it comes to charity stuff. They go to my dog stuff, and I go to this one for them. And it is the best event in the city. I mean, and you know, you got. 80% of the people involved are homosexual. And they know how to decorate and put on a show. And the food was. Most of these things, the food's not very good. The food was incredible. And they just rebuilt a theater in downtown Phoenix nobody even knows about. No, no, no. Nobody knows about it. The Phoenix Theater is right there with the Phoenix Museum. So as you're going down central, you see the Phoenix Museum. Right behind it is the Phoenix Theater, and it's Arizona Theater, Phoenix. It's beautiful. And it's the oldest theater. It's. It's like 120 years old. The other one, it's beautiful and it's old. They just had to up the new one. They just built a brand new one for like $40 million, all privately funded and everything else. And I was in there on Saturday. We are inches. If this gets played right, it's gorgeous. If this gets done right.

[Toledo]

Is that it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Is that the right one?

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Phoenix Theater. If this gets done right, we will be a place people move to do theater. This theater is so gorgeous. The old one was classic. This thing is unreal. And you. I mean, if you ever go see it. But the problem's going to be if you don't have good people, it's going to shrink them. Bad shows will look really bad on this giant stage, this beautiful new facility. It's pretty amazing. So that was a great night. And it was just an amazing night of, you know, the food's incredible. The stuff they put together is. And I think it was like. It was this thing where you feel like just poor as can be because everybody that goes by you has billions like it is. So they are into the arts and then the acting. But if you get one bad actor up there that does the high school thing with too much hands and way too much talking like this, that theater is going to shrink them. But if you get a chance to go to the Phoenix Theater, do yourself a favor and take a look, because nobody knows about.

[Sky]

That's the big thing is the lineups that they have every year. And that fundraiser that they do is a big chunk of keeping it going.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's all of it. It's massive. It's all privately funded stuff. And the lineups they have aren't local. It's not like they're bringing.

[Sky]

Yeah, they have to put the right dates and.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they have to have the right. Well, the people that do the shows here, they put on. It's the theater company. So it's this group that does all the shows. And then occasionally the big ones come into town and they'll go to Gammage or whatever this place is going to be. It. It's unreal.

[Sky]

And it's the. The season tickets.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can get that, too.

[Sky]

But it is big.

[John Holmberg]

It is unreal, how amazing it is. And it's. You know, then the Herberger family's involved in all this, and they are big on the arts. It. It's. It's a silent little gem we've got in this town that nobody really even knows about. And they'll do, like, musical art performances. I wouldn't be surprised if you see some sort of major artists playing this room. It is acoustically perfect. That and the Mim are the two nicest rooms I've ever seen for sound. If you've ever seen us. And that's the other thing no one knows about in the city. The theater at the Instrument Museum up there on Tatum. Yeah, go see a show there. Do yourself a favor and just. Anybody. It doesn't matter if you like the music or not. Whoever's performing there, you have not heard anything better than that. We're this. That's the culture of the city, that after a while it gets a little bigger. We've got a little. And that theater is going to change some stuff. So it was a great. It was a great.

[Toledo]

Here's all the updates. It's saying, oh, it's, it's.

[John Holmberg]

And when you sit in it, you're like, this is the nicest thing I've ever seen. This person said, I saw Frozen there and it was like a live movie. It was awesome. Yeah. And it, it feels huge. Yeah, they have. Frozen is going on. I don't know if it's still going on now, but they do that kind of stuff.

[Toledo]

I'm listening on their, their website. The next one coming up, of course is Christmas Carol.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, go see it. Just to see the room. It's beautiful. So thanks to my, you know, ties to the gay community, I got to be part of the theater gala. I had to wear a black tie and all that.

[Toledo]

Your ties to the gay community?

[Dick Tolito]

You are the gay community.

[John Holmberg]

I'm tied to it. I'm tied to it. You know what I'm saying? I'm in.

[Toledo]

Just saying. Don't sell yourself short.

[John Holmberg]

Terrible at decorating, but I'm working on it.

[Sky]

Time for season tickets.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I might. Well, that's an awful lot of theater. It's an awful lot of gay to handle. I can, I'll do a show or two, but I'm not going on like eight. I've still got, I still struggle to go to all the Suns games, for God's sakes. And I want to do that. The code word is rich for a couple more minutes here for 7 o'. Clock. Speaking of rich, what do you got for a wake up song? Which by the way is brought to you by our friends at Action Ride Shop. Another thank you to them. I was out there Saturday at the store up there on Power and McDowell and hanging out with everybody as they got rid of the bikes and did this thing and you know, barbecue and all that.

[Toledo]

Bike blowouts.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was a big bike blowout sale we got. Some of them blew out. I met people and brought their dogs and hanging out with that kid, that Kevin kid who wants to do radio, which is a brand new 15 year old saying he wants to get into radio. And I'm like, he's nuts. And he seemed fun. We had a great time riding bikes, goofing around, hanging out there. So thanks to Josh and the gang up at Action Ride Shop, they're getting rid of those bikes. They're bouncing a bunch of them. They got a whole bunch of new ones. Plus the original store is getting ready for the winter wonderland that is coming. The rest of the country's getting sucked in with snow starting today. Probably get a nice little bounce up.

[Sky]

Kind of cool to see a couple of football games.

[John Holmberg]

Awesome. Some flurries in November. You got Colorado will get it. So ski season's upon us. And get prepared for it over at Action Ride Shop right there a little bit north of the 60 on Gilbert Road. Grab that for your ski needs. And if you want to go biking and there are snow bikes as well if you want to hop on that. They'll get those taken care of. Action Ride Shop will cover you all day long. Toledo, what do you got?

[Toledo]

Dead memories for the fake paternity test. All that goes along with that. Ladies and gentlemen, for the Cardinals. Revolting Cox, do you think I'm sexy? The Joker for the Cardinals. Adidas by Korn. Stranglehold for lion by Ted Nugent. Lies by Corn for the Lion. Today is the 56th birthday for Sesame street. So somebody asked for a rainbow connection.

[John Holmberg]

Not bad for a wake up song. Is this Marines Marine birthday. Marines. Somebody said Pulse of the Maggots for the Marines. There you go. I like that one. Throw that bomb in there. Do a little slipknot. The Marines will enjoy that. Happy birthday, Marines. Veterans Day tomorrow. That the Army's birthday or is that. I don't remember when the Army's birthday is close, but the Marines are. I don't even know how old. They're the oldest ones. They're out there for a bit. So.

[Sky]

November 10, 1775 was the.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty good. They got going before we did. Excellent job. So, yeah. Happy birthday, Marines. If you were a Marine, thank you for serving veterans out there. You're gonna have your day tomorrow. Should have our letters to the veterans. Did you get a hold of those yet?

[Dick Tolito]

Yes.

[Toledo]

She was asking me about it last week, so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we should. Letters the veterans from. The kids will. We'll read those poorly written letters with all the emotion in the right place. We'll do a pulse of the maggots there.

[Toledo]

Give me a second. Okay, pull it up. I thought it was in the system.

[John Holmberg]

It's not.

[Toledo]

It's not.

[John Holmberg]

What the. Oh, that means I got to do some work. I got to make sure that the cursing is right taken out. That's all right. I've been listening to a lot of slipknot lately.

[Toledo]

Oh, what's going on?

[John Holmberg]

I just like them. Sounds good to the machine. By the way, the. The Bronco that I bought. All that engine noise I was complaining about in the speakers. I think I like it. Yeah, I think I kind of like it. Rich rode with me on Friday. It's Jill downstairs. Got in the car with me for those who don't know. I bought a Bronco. And the interior, the V8. 1971 V8. Engine noise is pumped through the speakers in your car to make it feel like you've got one. And it's horrifyingly loud and unnecessary because I have a subwoofer. If it was just regular speakers, I don't think it would be as bad. The sub eats it up.

[Toledo]

And just from now on, when you.

[Dick Tolito]

Show this to people.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

You have to do the first thing. You have to have them stand behind your vehicle as you drive away.

[John Holmberg]

And hear nothing.

[Toledo]

And hear nothing. It's.

[Dick Tolito]

It's a flutter. It's a.

[John Holmberg]

It's a nice engine.

[Toledo]

It's not even anything loud at all. And then get in it and hear.

[Dick Tolito]

You tear out of here.

[Sky]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

I took Jill from sales for a ride on. On Friday and we got out to 52nd street, which is just outside the parking lot, and she started screaming, stop it. Stop it. Make it stop. And I'm like, it's ridiculous. She goes, I'm going deaf. I'm saying she covered her ears. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. And I'm dying laughing. But now I took the top off. I think I'm. I think I like it. I think I might keep the crazy noise. I think that might be something I do. It's dumb, but I think I kind of like the dump. I will say this. The windows are over tinted. I can't see out of it. It's one of the reasons I took the top.

[Toledo]

I didn't notice.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they're black. I think they're illegal. I'm not sure I have legal window. I don't know. I don't. Do we have legal or illegal tent in this state?

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Sky]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do we? Yeah.

[Toledo]

Your front windows can't be. I think it's 30%.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I know the windshield is nothing. Oh, this thing is 90. I look out my window and I just see me.

[Toledo]

I didn't mean. I mean your driver and passenger.

[John Holmberg]

If I look to the left, it's just me. It's a mirror. It's giggly, but yeah. So I think I'll just keep it. It's dumb. And you. You heard it.

[Announcer]

It's.

[Toledo]

Oh my God.

[John Holmberg]

It's insanely stupid.

[Toledo]

I really thought you were over playing it, like over emphasizing it. It is. It is cartoonish.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's so loud. Yeah.

[Sky]

I gotta hear this.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, well, now that the top's off, it's not as bad, but it's. It's pretty funny. Anyway, so I've. I've busted up some eardrums. Oh, it's a top off. It's great. Let's do it. It's Slipknot. Pulse in the maggots. Happy birthday, Marines. It's for you. It's 98K upd.

[Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Toledo]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. It's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Boy, that team at Doug Hopkins office is amazing. Not only will Doug Hopkins buy your home for cash as is and get that deal done lickety split, his team is unbelievable. So if you've got a place that needs a ton of work, Doug will help you out by making that cash offer as is. Or he'll list your place if it's already perfect. All you have to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing Hopkins 1-800-sale now. It's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness for lifechangerloan.com I had a friend text me the other day and he was skeptical. He was like, there's got to be a catch, man. Math is absolute. It can't lie. So we went to the computer, put his info in the little [e-mail] and found out that his loan, which he those $523,000 over the next 27 years on, could be paid off in eight years and he will save 389,000 in interest. That's insane. You should be skeptical. Ask questions, then you'll see for yourself. It's not magic. It's just math. Lifechangerloan.com.