11-11-25 - If John Wins The Nobel Prize For UA Prof's Dissertation Will He Belong w/Other Famous Holmbergs - World Record For Cucumber Chopping Was Set At 64 In 30 Seconds

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: 11-11-25 – If John Wins The Nobel Prize for UA Prof's Dissertation, Will He Belong w/Other Famous Holmbergs & World Cucumber Chopping Record Date: November 11, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is a mix of heartfelt reflection, irreverent comedy, and offbeat news. The hosts pay tribute to Brett’s recently deceased father, deliver an earnest Veterans Day salute, and riff on the nature of fame—especially about the “famous Holmbergs” in yachting. Later, they lampoon the "world record" culture, with special focus on cucumber chopping. True to the show’s character, the conversation weaves between genuine emotion, topical humor, and the gloriously trivial.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Remembering Brett’s Father & Team Solidarity

• The team opens up about Brett’s absence due to the passing of his father, Kurt Vesely.
  • John delivers a heartfelt reflection about familial bonds, especially between Italian fathers and sons, relating both as a friend and a fellow son.
  • Listeners express condolences via email; listeners' memories about Brett’s dad are shared.
  • “He and his dad were the same guy. …Like you meet Brett, it's like, oh, he just chunked off a little bit of his dad and made a new version." – John [03:22]
  • Music tribute: “My Way” by Frank Sinatra selected as a wake-up song in honor of Brett's dad. [06:45]
• The team balances the somber subject with levity, sharing jokes and stories, maintaining the show's typical tone.

2. Veterans Day Recognition

• John discusses the meaning and inclusivity of Veterans Day, showing deep appreciation for military service.
  • "To everybody who's served our country, there's the letters coming in. We thank you and I have no words for how grateful I am because I am a coward. …I'm pretty sure we'd all be speaking German." – John [01:50]
  • Listener emails prompt John to honor veterans personally, referencing Harold Munger’s Vietnam service and how Veterans Day is a day of shared conversation in some families. [06:20]
• The team reflects on the tradition of writing supportive letters to deployed troops—acknowledging its value despite the tongue-in-cheek "sweatshop" comparison. [07:22]

3. The “Famous Holmbergs”: Yachting, Fame, and Sibling Rivalry

• John Holmberg addresses the oddness of sharing his name with a renowned Caribbean yachtsman, leading to a playful exploration of family legacy and recognition.
  • He humorously details his attempt to connect with “the other John Holmberg,” which ended in a curt rejection:
    • "I try that with yachting John Holmberg in the Caribbean and simply get an email back that says, no." [14:10]
  • The team investigates whether any Holmberg family members are in the Yachting Hall of Fame, with plenty of good-natured ribbing:
    • "I look like a pig. Oh, I see why he's angry. Even when you Google search sailor John Holmberg, I come up more than him." – John [14:52]
    • Observations about the lack of diversity in yachting Hall of Fame induction photos spark a series of irreverent impressions and mocking historical reenactments. [18:14 – 24:05]
  • The discussion veers satirically into issues of tokenism and diversity, especially with the induction of Absalom Boston, a Black whaler from the 1800s:
    • "They just have a drawing of him, and it's not very good. ... Stuffing him in the hall of Fame is sort of..." – John [19:15 – 19:24]

Notable exchange [23:56]

John: "Everything's in the hall of Fame because these racist whites every once in a while recognize that Negro over there seems to be here a lot. We should put him in the hall of Fame and feel good about ourselves."
[24:04]

• The banter signals both the team’s signature “push the line” humor and satirical commentary on exclusivity.

4. News of the Weird: The Cucumber Chopping Record

• Transitioning from family and fame, the hosts turn their attention to the absurd—world record attempts.

  • Recent record: David Rush snaps 65 cucumbers in half with his hands in 30 seconds, shattering the previous record of 50.
    • John: "It's the dumbest record I've ever heard." [26:19]
  • The team questions the utility and symbolism of such records, especially juxtaposed with real-world needs (“starving people”).
    • "We are the biggest hypocrites in the world that we both celebrate this and then have the nerve to ask for money, for food." – John [26:13]
  • Debate about whether animals benefit when world record food is donated to zoos (“throwing pumpkins at hippos”) and musings on cucumbers' place in animal and human diets.
    • John: "If we're gonna do this, let's just take the 60 cucumbers and give them to hungry people." [30:33]

• Some Guinness World Records trivia: slicing cucumbers at high speed, and discussion of whether hosts themselves could break such records (referencing John's prior nose-typing attempt). [27:59, 28:01]

5. Stand-Up, Local Comedy, and Listener Engagements

• Brief plugs for local comedy shows in Phoenix (Moshe Kasher, Lil Duvall, Hans Kim, etc.), and a tease about future tickets for “Holmberg After Dark.”
  • Ongoing jokes about “Listener of the Year” status. [09:06 – 09:43]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I thought about [joining the military] for a minute. I got lippy about it, and then I thought, I don't know. I would be a pretty quick study if I got captured by the enemy.” – John [01:50]
• “If you got a letter from another Brady Bogan that said, hey, I Google searched our name and we're the top two searches...let's do a convention and gather up as many Brady Bogans as we can.” – John [14:09]
• [On being out-famed by yachting Holmbergs] “Well, screw that guy. He's mean. Rude is what he is.” – John [21:27]
• “I'm noticing a trend with the way that the hall of Fame sailors all look—white.” [18:16]
• [On world record food waste] “It's just callous human nature. It’s just not good. …Cucumbers are delicious. …For zoo creatures, that's better than maybe…” – John [34:06]
• “There's still nothing better than Brady chucking a pumpkin at a hippopotamus.” – John [34:19]

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Important Timestamps

• 01:12 – 03:22: Brett’s father’s passing, condolences, and reflections on loss
• 05:45 – 07:24: Veterans Day tributes, personal military stories, and tradition of writing letters to troops
• 13:20 – 18:38: The “Famous Holmbergs” segment—yacht race fame, rejected outreach, and family comparisons
• 18:14 – 24:05: Diversity and tokenism in the Sailing Hall of Fame, Absalom Boston satire
• 26:13 – 34:19: Cucumber chopping world record: critique, absurdities of “record culture,” food waste debate, and animal feeding gags

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Tone & Style

• The episode balances sincere emotional content (loss, gratitude, national service) with irreverent, boundary-pushing comedy and local color.
• John is both heartfelt and biting, often undercutting sincerity with self-deprecation or observational humor.
• The group maintains a tone that’s quick, bantering, and satirical, unafraid to lampoon serious subjects for effect.

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Summary Takeaway

Listeners can expect the full spectrum: tributes to family and veterans, an extended riff on what it means to be “famous” in your own life, comic dissection of absurd world records, and a running undercurrent of self-aware irreverence. In classic HMS fashion, even the most trivial news is fuel for a mix of sarcasm, empathy, and over-the-top speculation—with a steady drumbeat of camaraderie and listener interactivity.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[B]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[A]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[B]

Easy. LegalGunbuyer do. And he can do it all online. It's really that simple.

[A]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms. It's Brett Veseley from Homework's morning Sickness. Now, I've always been the kind of guy that takes care of my own lawn. That's until I found Divine Design Landscaping. These guys aren't your typical mow and blow landscaping company. They do amazing work. And it's just what I needed to finally throw on the towel and let the experts take over. If you've been unhappy with your landscaping or sick of trying to do it yourself, well, it's time to get a hold of Divine Design Landscaping. These guys handle everything. Lawn care, irrigation tree, low voltage lighting, 3D designs. Get a free quote at DivineDesignLawnCare.com that's DivineDesignLawnCare.com.

[C]

Sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here.

[A]

Come on.

[C]

No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. There they are. That is Katie and the Hobbs. Miles to nowhere. You know them as Miles to Nowhere. We call them Katie and the Hobbs because she sounds like Katie Hopps. That's the as simple as it gets. Starting off Tuesday morning, Veterans Day, and Happy Veterans Day to all of our veterans and everyone. And active service members. Boom. I don't know if that's the. We've talked about this before with Veterans Days. You're a veteran if you're still like you are a veteran if you're in. Right?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So, yeah, you get to. You get to do it active and veteran. But either way, to everybody who's served our country, there's the letters coming in. We thank you and I have no words for how grateful I am because I am a coward. I don't know that I would have had the guts to sign up and do that kind of stuff. I thought about it for a minute. I got lippy about it, and then I thought, I don't know. I would be a pretty quick study if I got captured by the enemy. Pretty sure we'd all be speaking German. How to hand it over. Quite a lot of secrets to save Johnny Skin, that's for sure. Anyway, and then Veterans Day. It's also for those who tuning in a little later than normal. Guy just said, I. The time change screws him up because he's in another. He's in the Midwest. So now it's an hour earlier for him to hear us. And I'm not sure how anything works with time. So he's got. He's like, I saw. I missed the first little bits. And he said, well, where's Brett? I hate even saying it multiple times like some sort of a. But it's fair to let all you guys know we're a team. We.

[A]

We.

[C]

Brett's dad passed away last night. He's been battling illness for. It hasn't been a long time. It's been a few months, as always. Diagnosed a little bit ago, and it just grew and got worse and did not. Did not recover. But the. The. The positive side, I guess now is that there's no more suffering and there's not going to be any more stress and everything else. Like Toledo said when he just lost. You just lost your mom a month and a half ago. Yep. And it was the same kind of feeling, like, oh, I don't want to see her go through this anymore.

[E]

Such relief.

[C]

But we are heavy hearts today here on the show because our buddy Brett is going through it and you definitely feel it. Italian families, especially. Holy smokes. Dads and sons, moms and sons. But there is a, you know, not to say that it's more or less than anybody else, but they have a. An emotional bond. They're the same person. He and his dad were the same guy. And so Kurt was just an incredibly cool guy. I knew him not super well, but well enough to, you know, hang out a few times. And I'm glad I got that chance because he was a really nice guy and he's Brett. He's the same. Same dude. Like you meet Brett, it's like, oh, he just chunked off a little bit of this guy and made a new version. Yeah. I mean, you talk about apples, trees, this. He's just a branch of the tree. Wasn't even an apple that fell off of it. But all the emails are coming in so nice. This guy says, all right, time to crank up a little AI Sinatra for our man Brett today. And I think that's great. Bailey, who's one of our the guys that sends us those horrible videos that Brett gets to show you, says, brett's been my guy for the last few years, so I'm thinking about him heavily today. I loved all the stories about his dad over the years and I felt like I knew him personally. We all love you, Brett. The best addition to the show we could have ever asked for. That's truth, Bob. Thank you, Bailey, for sure. This one says, hearing about Brett's dad made me sad. This morning reminded me of my story. Passing away in your sleep can't be all that bad. That's just how I want to leave the world. My grandfather did it. He died peacefully in his sleep, not crying and screaming like his passengers. Thank you, Reylo. Wow. I like that one. Says, maybe you can bring Eric into Phil for the week. Move that on. Anybody else think that My Way is the only song we can play this morning? I never met Brett's dad, but I've heard nothing but good fun things. I think that's the right thing to do. Rip Papa Vessel. Yes, you got it. I think that's the. That's for sure. Going to be the wake up song today for sure. And then this, this is a good one here for Veterans Day. It says not sure if you've said anything for Veterans Day. No, wait, it's 702. The word is luck. L U C K L U C K Guys, come on. Grow up. Luck. Put that in the 7am promo box on your app. Take it in the app and then you might win a thousand bucks because we got money and you can take it in the app. We heard you. This one says John. Not sure if you've said anything for Veterans Day. I haven't. I didn't listen to the first 15 minutes, however, about a posthumous Happy Veterans Day for my dad, Harold Munger. Volunteered to go into the army in 1963-1966. Went to Vietnam for a year, served in the 1st Air Cavalry. Today was a day that he and I shared, both having served our country. We would always talk on this day, and it's something I miss not being able to do since his passing. Would be cool if you could give him some appreciation. Not that you owe him anything. Oh, I disagree completely, Cranston we owe him greatly for putting the uniform on and doing the thing that I never had the bravery to do. So to Harold Munger. Cranston Munger and I went to junior high together. He emails and, oh, that's his. That's him. And I had no idea his dad name was Harry Munger, which is also a great band name.

[F]

Was that your password?

[C]

Cranston Munger for years. Cranston Munger 69, exclamation point. Because I thought if you just took the. No one is going to guess. Weirdest name in high school, weirdest classmate in high school. Name was my password for years. And then, of course, everybody starts making you change your passwords and you start forgetting how many six nines I have after Cranston. And then you're like, well, this is just getting out of hand. So I did Cornell Troop 6 9, because he was the other one with a crazy name. I had to go through my yearbook to find password names. Like, that's a wacky name.

[D]

Now you got ET Pancake.

[C]

ET Pancake's up there. That's right. We talked about him yesterday. But I will forget that because I can't put a face to ET Pancake. I didn't ever know him. I knew Cranston. And thanks to you, Cranston, and your dad for serving today. I think that's a fantastic thing, says John. Don't forget on this Veterans Day. Never forget the kind child in Phoenix writing letters to those overseas. Tang, hi on the Plex. To all of us on this Veterans Day. That's right. Brett Tang, hi to the Plex. The letters will come your way shortly. From those kids that we force to make. It's almost like we're. We have a sweatshop. Every November, we make kids write letters to the troops, and we send them out. This one says, instead of getting a 311 tattoo, if the Suns do win a championship this year, why don't you just give away your jeep on the air? One of your jeeps. All right, that's better. Winner has choice. The winner either says John, has to get a. I'll do a thing, and if you want to win one of my jeeps, I'll give one of those away. If the Suns win a championship, pretty safe bet. Now, I've said this before and ended up giving away a bunch of cub stuff, but I think that's. I think that's fair. I'll give you guys one of my. Oh, man, that's painful to say that that's giving away one of my kids. But I like that one. Also, Sean has brought up something. How do we get tickets to your Homework After Dark show? Oh, it's coming up in December, I believe the 12th. And tickets should be right around Thanksgiving or maybe a week before, so probably next week, I would guess they go on sale and we'll give you hints about who's going to be there. We've been told, because he's making a sneak run in for this, that it kind of might be a contractual thing that we can't really promote who's with us.

[F]

Yeah. Cause you're affecting their other ticket sales somewhere else.

[C]

Yeah. So if you say, oh, I can see him here, I don't have to go to this. So he's just gonna, quote, show up. But it's very well planned and let's just say it's a good one. It's a real good one. Homburg after dark will be December 12th. This is. How do you get tickets to the show? We'll let you know, Sean. Don't worry about it. And actually, Sean Rockefeller, you have a space on the stage as our Listener of the Year two straight years in a row. Do we have another Listener of the Year candidate this year? I think Sean's always going to get it. I mean, Haynes could do it, but no one would see him. He's so small.

[F]

The physicist, maybe.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[F]

I mean, you're ignoring the big news of the day.

[C]

Dr. Bill H. Which has been several emailers and Scott Haynes himself have emailed in, say, I love Dr. Bill Hitler's work. He did just sign it Bill H. He may be Hitler, a Hitler disciple or family member. And then he's really liked what I've had to say. I still can't believe there hasn't been a paper on this yet. Of note. Or if he's maybe just a bad scientist and he doesn't know. Neil DeGrasse Tyson had to have thought there's an arrogance to humanity that believes aliens are actually looking for us. Has to have talked about this somewhere, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

With like, great knowledge of the Three Eye Atlas that it wouldn't come for just us. I've watched Neil DeGrasse Tyson explain how hard it would be to find us.

[F]

Well, that was the one I was watching too, where he's like, look, here's a wide view of.

[C]

It's nothing but clutter.

[F]

Three different galaxies.

[C]

Space is a junk drawer.

[F]

We are somewhere in there.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And then he's like. And here's. And he puts a little pin next. Here's Earth. And you're looking like there's a slew of dots. Like, all you see is it's not spaced out very well. God did fairly poor planning for interstellar travel.

[E]

Maybe space.

[F]

Waymo is great.

[C]

Maybe it's gonna take forever. I don't have the ways thing. Megan has a thing on her ways A. I don't like riding with her when she's driving. And you change the voice.

[F]

Nate Bargazzi for a little while.

[C]

Okay. Hers is Mike Airman Trout from Breaking Bad. And, like, for no reason at all, it's because it sounds like trip. It bothers me. Like trips in the car. And he calls her, like, smiley or doll face, like it's a Dashiell Hammett novel. We're trying to get through traffic. You're gonna want to avoid Lincoln this morning. Smiley. What did he call you that for? I don't know. There's a little accident coming up here on 7th Street. You're gonna want to find a way around it. Turn that off. There's a man in the car. We don't need that. Yeah, but he really lets me know when there's traffic. I can see. That's how I know there's traffic.

[F]

Nate would say stuff like a police have been reported ahead. Maybe they heard about my family or something.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. They try to make it, but it's bad jokes. Terrible. Also, with the homeburg conundrum going into the annals of science, it says, is it there yet? It's in the brains of scientists that counts. Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And you hear me all the time talking about my friends at Lost Our home pet rescue. We do the pick of the litter and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] Every week I head over to Lost our Home Pet rescue, and I meet a brand new beautiful animal that needs a home. The work they do at Loster Home is unbelievable. Not just your average pet shelter, that is for sure. They help people in a lot of situations. Look them up online. Lost our home.org and check out everything we [e-mail] in the pick of the litter section.

[G]

All right, HMS podcast time again. It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week downtown at Stand Up Live. You've got Moshe Casher and the pride of Jack, Jacksonville, Florida. Lil Duvall performing Desert Ridge up north features the very funny Hans Kim. And east side of the Tempe Improv has two Entertaining Comedians with Alvin, Kawhi and awesome Youssef. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[C]

This is F that other Holmberg in the Caribbean. Tyler says, what's that dude ever done besides live in the Caribbean? He's won a lot of yacht races. I'll look him up, see if he's still alive. Okay, so we wouldn't know who he was if it wasn't for you. Anyway, you have some dude writing a goddamn dissertation about your simple idea. Makes you pretty smart. That other home bird can blow it out his ass. Yeah, yeah, yacht. And John Holmberg's never had scientists follow his way. Maybe he has. I just don't know. But it's not known. D John Homurg hates me. Wouldn't you, Brady? If you got a letter from another Brady Bogan that said, hey, I Google searched our name and we're the top two searches for. For Brady Bogans. Yeah, let's do a convention and gather up as many Brady Bogans as we can.

[D]

We'd be best friends.

[C]

You guys would be best friends. I try that with yachting. John Holmberg in the Caribbean and simply get an email back that says, no. No other words. Not even like, hey, that sounds interesting. I'm too busy. Just no. He took time to respond, but with two letters, it took him all of half a second ago. N O. And maybe he's googled me and he doesn't like, as he would say, the cut of my jib. Well, he can screw himself.

[D]

I say, yeah, but I'm big fans of yachting.

[C]

I like the yachting. Hi. As you can tell, my name is also John Holmer. He just hated it. No, miserable. Could have been sea salt smelling pig.

[D]

Preparation for a race, but at least you could say that.

[C]

All right, if he's in mid preparation for a race, don't answer my email at all. The no was worse. Is that him? Look at the Jesus. The guy's got a set of cans. He looks like Ricky Gervais ate Ricky Gervais. That's John Holmberg, the world famous Holmberg sailing family. Look, next to him is me next to Abby, bag sweating. This is why he doesn't like me. I look like a pig. Oh, I see why he's angry. Even when you Google search sailor John Holmberg, I come up more than him. Why is he dressed like Gilligan?

[F]

I think that might be his son.

[C]

He And I both have gynomastia. His are fat, though.

[D]

That was in California. There he was.

[C]

He's over in Laguna.

[D]

It said.

[C]

Click on that again.

[D]

Rick Newport.

[C]

He's in Newport Beach. John Holmberg Archive Balboa and Newport Yacht Club hall of Fame sailor. Is he in it or did he just go to a thing? Is he a Hall of Famer? Oh, man. National Sailing hall of Fame celebrates with Balboa and Newport Harbor Yacht Clubs. Is he on the board?

[F]

Peter Holmberg.

[C]

Peter Holmes.

[D]

Another.

[F]

That might be his son, I think.

[C]

Am I the only.

[F]

The famous Holmberg sailing family?

[C]

Is that what that said?

[F]

That's what a couple articles have said.

[C]

What the happened to my family?

[F]

Yeah, your dad built some pretty important stuff.

[C]

Yeah, but he's never been in a yacht club with the famous Holmbergs. Like. That's like a dance troupe.

[F]

Maybe he's in the Construction hall of Fame last summer.

[C]

No, you went by my dad.

[D]

I went by the Newport Yacht Club.

[C]

Well, that doesn't mean anything.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

He'S just an unnecessary aside to the story involving. Why'd you shoehorn yourself into this thing, for God's sakes?

[D]

I'm closer to him than you are.

[C]

Oh, you're not. It's just proximity. That's a. You don't know. Maybe. I was at the Safeway with him.

[D]

You weren't in the.

[C]

No, neither were you.

[D]

He was there that day.

[C]

You weren't there. You drove by.

[D]

I boated.

[C]

Look, I've driven by when the Diamondbacks are playing. It doesn't make me one of them.

[D]

I boated by my rental boat, all right?

[C]

That's stupid.

[F]

Peter Holmberg is in Maroon up here.

[C]

This the famous Holmberg sailing team family? Family.

[D]

That's his brother.

[C]

It's a whole gaggle of him. Does he spell it PT Petr, like the Swedish Peter?

[F]

No, no, no, no. It is P, E, T, E, R.

[C]

And they're over in there in Balboa. And he's getting in the hall of.

[F]

Fame hall of Fame class. Joins the 114 current inductees of the.

[C]

Famous Homburg sailing family.

[F]

10 make it 124.

[C]

Ever in the hall of Fame is John. John and Peter. Are they the only brothers in the Yachting hall of Fame? Good Christ. This is a pretty good Holmber. This guy's got something going on here. Maybe he had every right to dismiss me. I just have some scientists taking my wacky Corey Feldman idea and making a paper out of it. This dude's in the hall of Fame for Stuff. In fairness, I could be in the Radio hall of Fame. I've turned it past. Yeah, I don't want to be part of that. Have you seen who's in it? What a bunch of dicks.

[F]

They sell tickets to the National Sailing hall of Fame.

[C]

Man. That's a very narrow audience. Look at this.

[F]

20, 25 inductees.

[C]

I'm noticing a trend with the way that the hall of Fame sailors all look white.

[F]

Yeah. There's not a.

[C]

There's a lot of diversity. This is not a DEI sailing group over there in Balboa. Not a lot of sailors, but I bet you their crews have some. Man, oh, man.

[F]

Oh, here we go.

[C]

Alphabetical. Oh, there's one.

[D]

Oh, there we go.

[C]

I don't even think that's real. It's a. It's a drawing of a guy that's not a. I think absolute. What was his name?

[D]

Absalom.

[C]

Show me that one again. Go back, Rich. I think he was on page one. No, I don't want a homework. Go to page one. I want to see Absalom. He's on the bottom there. Screw that. There he is. Absalom F. Boston. And it's just a drawing of him. And I have to think to myself, he wasn't. Oh, he got inducted in 2022. It's like, we don't have any black guys.

[F]

And then he's from the Veterans Committee because he was dead in 1855.

[C]

They just have a drawing of him, and it's not very good. And also, I have a feeling he wouldn't have been allowed in the Balboa yacht club in 1855. That's pretty good guess on my part.

[D]

He's a whaler.

[C]

Yeah. So stuffing him in the hall of Fame is sort of.

[F]

He crewed in and he piloted an all African American crew in 1822.

[C]

Oh, there were loads of all African American boats in the 1800s. Loads of them.

[F]

Not whalers.

[C]

I don't know that those guys called that sailing.

[F]

Sure it was.

[C]

I'm pretty sure that human transportation. I'm not sure that those guys are like, what do you do in Africa? Oh, I'm a sailor. That's how I got here. Nope.

[D]

They said they chase whales.

[F]

And.

[C]

I'm sure anything. I'm sure they were on those boats voluntarily. All black guys in the 1800s are like, oh, we love boats. Every time somebody gets me on when good things happen. Peter William Holmberg was inducted in 2023.

[F]

Is the most famous sailor in the Caribbean.

[C]

He's the other 1 yeah, he's St. Thomas. U.S. virgin is. Oh, by the way, Brady, I've been to St Thomas and the Virgin Islands. Closer to the homebrews than you'll ever imagine. I've been by their house anyway. Yeah. Is the Amistad in the Sailing hall of Fame? Because that's clearly a diversity move. And this year here at the Balboa Sailing Yacht Club, we use our diversity and our equity program to welcome in all the members of the Amistad, who unfortunately couldn't be here today due to death. But let it be known we included them. And that makes us good whites looking for other pictures. Isn't that right, Con Francis Findlay and Gregory Vance Fisher. We're good whites, aren't we? The best of all whites. That Armistat was one hell of a sale.

[F]

There's another Gilligan, one of his brother.

[D]

John is all bent out of shape that he's not in the hall of Fame.

[C]

Well, he's. Yeah, John. Maybe he is, though. We don't know.

[F]

He wasn't listed.

[C]

Yeah, he's not. Well, screw that guy. He's mean. Rude is what he.

[F]

There you go. William Starling Burgess. Look at this guy.

[C]

What year did he go in? 2013, but he was around in the 70s. He was born in 18 oh, 1878 to 1947. I'm William styling Burgess. I sail. They ever meet that Absalom Boston? Yes, he's in the bottom of the boat rowing. No, no, no, that's not sailing. Doesn't count. He's in the hall of Fame.

[F]

Not on my boat.

[C]

No. There's no modern day Runyon, people. Come on. There's a guy's name Runyon up there. There's no blacks on that thing.

[F]

Briggs.

[C]

Boy, is that an exclusive group of Ann. That's got to be a rough.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And he's a drawing person of color. I don't think Absalom.

[D]

He was on the boat and they told him to get in with the rest of the crew. Crew in the small thingy. To go after the whale.

[C]

Yeah, you're big on the whale. That never happened. Absalom was not a whaler. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah. You just read the Internet. That doesn't mean anything. That is the boat cruise way of saying, what's that slave's name we used to like?

[D]

Kind of a little accident.

[C]

Yeah, there was an accident all right. He got on the white boat for the whalers and they. Well, he's a Hall of Famer because he made it off of that.

[D]

Need you to go out There and chase.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, that's right. You want me to take this here boat, chase up a whale and her.

[D]

Whale towards our ship?

[C]

Wait, hold up. With nothing but a sheet, there's William Beale D. Pinkney. Oh, my goodness. Lifetime achievement award. Enthusiastic trendsetter. He just had a lot of energy. You want me to chase a what now? A whale, Absalom. I don't even know how to. That's just a sheet and a stick of wood. That's right. I'll get out there and grab that whale. We're hungry. I tell you what. If you even make this thing go 30ft, we'll put you in the hall of Fame. That ain't for people like me, sir. Well, it will be if you do your job, Absalom. I'm doing a very crude watercolor of you right now. We'll put it up on the walls. It's the worst painting I've ever seen of a guy. Anyway, we all pink.

[D]

They serve eight years in the Navy. Yeah, and then went on to be a limbo dancer.

[C]

Okay, none of this is sailing.

[F]

Highlighting.

[C]

Everything's in the hall of Fame because these racist whites every once in a while recognize that Negro over there seems to be here a lot. We should put him in the hall of Fame and feel good about ourselves.

[F]

Two out of 124?

[C]

Yeah, and all the rest of them are named Stu. That's a group I wouldn't want to be a part of.

[F]

Franklin J. Wood.

[C]

Yeah. Anybody got any good drawings of Absalom? Are we just gonna stick with this children's watercoloring? That's good for Absalom. Why don't you all get, like, there's dudes from what? Rear Admiral Stephen Luce is from the 1700s. They actually have a photograph of him. Can't get one at Absalom.

[G]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. For the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey.

[H]

It'S Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO. And, Wayne, if my car has an extended warranty, do I have to take it back to the dealer for service?

[I]

No, Larry, if you have an extended service contract, you can use it at any amco.

[H]

It's nice to have other options.

[I]

I'll say Amco has dealership quality rental cars, no hassles, and faster service.

[H]

Amco does more than just transmissions, right Right.

[I]

If you need car repairs or hear, feel, see, smell, or even think you have a car issue, call Amco first.

[H]

Just Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and.

[A]

A whole lot more.

[C]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[F]

Founder of the United States Naval War College.

[C]

You have to understand, John, we didn't have color photography back then. Oh, I see. Oh, I see.

[D]

So.

[C]

So you want me to chase a whale? Yes, but not like you normally do. Not a big, fat white woman. A real whale.

[E]

Sea creature.

[C]

Not that one over there. But she's. She's attractive. Oh, only to you. We don't get it. We simply don't get it. What do you see in her?

[D]

Here's your stick to poke it with.

[C]

Yeah, I don't want to put a.

[D]

Weapon in your hand.

[C]

Yeah, we can't give him a weapon. They'll turn on us. Give him his sheet and his stick of wood. And his other stick for fighting. Oh, he's poking the fat white woman again. Absalon, come over. That is not the whale we want you to hunt. I'm making waves, man.

[F]

Absalom, we've talked about this.

[C]

Get on the boat.

[D]

And no singing.

[C]

That ain't a boat, man. Hall of Fame, Absalom. The only thing I learned from that was Even in the 1800s, Black families named their kids weird stuff. It's the only time I've ever heard the word Absalom. In fact, it should be our word at 8 o'. Clock. But 7 o', clock, it's luck. How about that? Luck. Speaking of weird stuff, I saw a story this morning and you might have seen this, too. Brady. Thanks. This would be exactly in a Brady Report story that a guy named David Rush, who has broken a billion world records for Guinness Book, has done another one where. And it's the dumbest record I've ever heard. And all I think to myself is, we are the biggest hypocrites in the world that we both celebrate this and then have the nerve to ask for money, for food, for places. He snapped 250 cucumbers in half in 30 seconds. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. 65 cucumbers in half and 30 seconds, obliterating the previous record of 50.

[F]

Snapped him with what?

[C]

Just his hands.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

He just broke cucumbers in half and threw them away. And they're like, hey, give to Eunice. There's a lot of starving people out there.

[F]

Is there a time limit? Yeah, I wonder if.

[C]

30 seconds.

[D]

Karate chop.

[C]

30 seconds. Well, it's Got them all lined up on the edge of a table and you just go down. I didn't see the actual footage, but yeah, you can go down the line and chop one at a time.

[F]

You gotta have a listener that can break that record.

[C]

You'd think so, but then you start thinking about how hard it would be to. To hand chop. You ever try to break a cucumber in half cleanly?

[F]

No.

[C]

Honestly, no one would ever do that. So that seems like a pretty reasonable record.

[D]

At 60, you gave the nose tapping on the keyboard a pretty good run.

[C]

I did, actually. Pretty good job.

[D]

And it was.

[F]

Oh, that's right.

[C]

Yeah. You use your nose.

[F]

Did you ever type out anything?

[C]

No. You just went down in order, right? Did I did the Alphabet?

[D]

I think so. I have them.

[C]

No, you do the Alphabet on your keypad with your nose. And I think I had two mistakes, but that was my first try, and I was within the time range.

[D]

Get this record.

[C]

The cucumber one?

[D]

No, I think the keyboard one. If you went back, I bet you we'd get that one.

[C]

Yeah, I might have to train for that a little bit harder. Let's see if the record's still the same, but we're busting up cucumbers like nobody's business.

[F]

And then, like, people losing their SNAP benefits and wasting.

[C]

And I gotta watch this. And then some guy goes on, goes, watch this. Here's a bunch of food I'm gonna throw away after. And they act like they give it to a shelter after. Who wants crusty up? You ever seen a cucumber after, like, two minutes without. When you crack it in half and it just sits out, they become muck. They get that gelatinous, weird kind of goo. They almost look like a slice of tip and picklet. What? Oh, yes. All right, you. He's already on Today making them pickles. I just think that playing with food is counterintuitive to the idea of starving people in our own country with the snap. Like you said, SNAP benefits, and nobody's eating, and how do we do this? And our kids are starving and blah, blah. I saw another one the other day with a woman, was about 285 pounds, arguing with the guy, saying, why are you marching in this? My kids are starving. And then he said, why don't you give some of them your food? Because clearly you're not. And she goes, what's this all about? And then it was going to be a huge fight, and the guy walked away. You can't be fat and go to marches for starving. You Just have to be more self aware. You're always starving. That's why you got your problems. You can't see a group of really fat people and feel like, man, they need food. It's just not visually, it's not a thing. You never went to Africa and said, hi, I'm Sally Struthers and I'd like you to donate to chubby Africans of the Sahara. It's not a thing. They're, they look, they look fat, but they're really actually very hungry. There's only so much food to go around and they need to stay plump. But this guy's chopping up cucumbers and it is kind of an impressive idea, I guess, of going to cut cucumbers in half with your hands for 60 and 30 seconds. That's tough. It's not easy. But it seems like, I mean, Brady doesn't think it's a waste because he doesn't consider cucumbers edible.

[D]

But you drop them off at the local zoo as well.

[C]

Okay, is that better than hungry people?

[D]

The food going to waste?

[C]

No, no, the hungry people, though, I mean, you could not chop them in half and just give them the bundle.

[D]

You're saying you don't want humans to consume with the animals.

[C]

Okay, but I'm saying what I'm saying actually is not that stupid, is I don't want people chop them in half and then go, if we're gonna do this, let's just take the 60 cucumbers and give them to hungry people. Let's cut out the whole chop it up and break a record thing instead and let's just give the food to people who need it rather than goof around like this. But it is a thing and that's what makes America great. Except for we're now complaining that we've got too many hungry people.

[F]

Although there are a few cucumber records. Norman Johnson of Blackpool College, Lancashire, UK, set a record of 13.4 seconds for slicing a 3 30cm cucumber. 3.8cm in diameter. 22 slices to the inch. 264 slices. He.

[C]

That's pretty good.

[E]

In 13, 4. 13.4 seconds.

[C]

So I just got sent the video. The dude breaking the cucumbers, he, they're, they're lined up on a table and he grabs them and cracks them in half with his hands. And he got to 67. Two were incomplete. So the official record, 65. But again, let's not sit back and go, we could give it to the zoo creatures. Why don't you just give the cucumbers to the people who are hungry to start with.

[F]

Well, did he do it blindfolded maybe?

[C]

No, it's not blindfolded.

[D]

Okay. But if they're buying those cucumbers for the animals to begin with and then.

[C]

We'Re cracking them in half. Okay, I suppose if you're going first and are cucumbers really a staple diet for a lot of zoo animals? Sure. Is that just made up? Throw it at them and they'll eat it. Kind of like when you give pumpkins vegetables. Yeah, yeah. When you chuck pumpkins at hippos, that's, you know, that's what they normally root around watermelons love.

[D]

Crush them.

[C]

They love them.

[F]

There it is.

[C]

Because that's in their homeland.

[F]

Yeah, that's the bad picture to put on there.

[C]

Well, he's got one. He's handed. He put it right over his wiener. And it looks like he's breaking the tip off. And he's got a good hard grip down at the base. That's a good tug. What he's up to. You gotta fast forward past his ping ponging. And then he gets to the cucumber split. He goes to this Italian show all the time. Evidently this guy's like a thousand records and busting cucumbers up. That's not Italian, that's Japanese. This is a TV show in Japan.

[F]

I think it's Spain or Spain, wherever.

[C]

The hell it is. When will the aliens come? This is. We're out of ideas.

[F]

He's losing pace.

[C]

Well, he got 67 and then two of them were incomplete. That's the rest of the video where they go back and they judge in the Guinness. Guys like these two are still combined by a fiber. 65. But the record was 50. He clobbered it.

[F]

Brady's right, you know, Some. Some zoo is lucky. Zoo is standing by, ready to receive a boatload of halved.

[C]

And meanwhile, unlucky people who are hungry had to watch that and go, you're giving it to the hippos. Do they even eat cucumbers?

[D]

Sure.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

That's where it's cool. And it goes right to a couple of restaurants.

[C]

And the guy goes, I eat cucumbers. Like, yeah, go get a job. I just think it's hilarious that we try to be empathetic towards starving nations. And then occasionally we do stuff like this. Let's do anything.

[E]

Occasionally.

[F]

We do this all the time.

[C]

But when he busts them, he just chucks him on the ground. Yeah. Useless. Useless, useless, useless. I would have. I would have eaten that well, it's still laying on the ground if you want it. Deadbeat. Anyway, very carefully done. Rolling ankle on the cucumbers he's throwing all over the place. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's just.

[C]

It's callous human nature. It's just not good. Cucumbers are delicious. Well, Brady's right. Just cut the tip off and pickle it. For zoo creatures, that's better than maybe.

[F]

The dirtiest thing you ever said on this show.

[C]

There's still nothing better than Brady chucking a pumpkin at a hippopotamus. The hippos look at him like, whatever. What is it? It's a pumpkin. You know, native to your region. Yeah, we have tons of these down in Brazil. Which pumpkin? Lousy with pumpkins in the Amazon.

[D]

They can't wait till the fall. I mean, they're big into the.

[C]

They love Halloween. It's tough a lot of the times. I understand in Sao Paulo that you can't keep a pumpkin on your. On your porch because hippos will come. They just can't. They smell them out like truffle Colombia.

[D]

Now you got a population of 3, 000 hippos or something.

[C]

Yeah. Because of Pablo. Pablo Escobar had the hippos up. And God forbid he finds the pumpkin patch in October. Hippos just wandering rogue all over, eating. Eating pumpkin. That's the. My favorite part of the zoo is watching you do that. And everybody's kind of like, is that. Is that okay? What are they gonna do about it?

[D]

Loaded with vitamins.

[C]

Yeah, sure. That's what we tell ourselves. Because that's why, you know, it's great.

[D]

For your complexity too.

[C]

Skin, complexion, complexion. Complexity would make it. That's different completely. It probably does make them bipolar, though. What do you got on the. But we don't even need a big board of musical treats just to sponsor. Today's tribute to our friend is brought to you by our friends at Action Ride Shop. Action Ride Shop, where Josh and the boys are out there waiting for you to come by and start your new hobby or continue your hobby or restart your hobby of getting out on those trails on a bike and tooling around out there. Action Ride Shops got everything you've ever wanted. They're on Power and McDowell. That's the bike shop that is just absolutely astonishing. They've got some stuff out there, man. Revert upside down forks. That dude. It's just a different world when you go out and see what bike advancements are and Josh can explain it to you. All the guys out there are excellent at it and they'll take you on rides. They do rides all the time up there too. Also, with the winter season right around us and we should be a couple week or so away from getting snow up north. The ski season's ready to go and that's where Action Ride Shops got you covered as well. Get up there and rent your equipment early right before the snow hits and you'll be ready to go for when it does. Just north of the 60 on Gilbert and also Power and McDowell, it's our friends at Action Ride Shop. As we have discussed earlier, our friend Brett has lost his father in the overnight here and you know, so again, this is kind of looming over us as we cut through this show today and get to the end of it. But thinking about Brett and everything that's going on over there, I think it's only appropriate that Brett's people and Brett himself gets a little love for this one. This is for Kurt Vesely, the glorious patriarch of the Vestley House. It's called My Way by Frank Sinatra and I think they'll both love this one. Yep, Frank is getting on the Wake up song for you, Brett. Nice job, kid. It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.

[E]

It's nick Toluto from Homer's Morning Sickness for our friends at FanDuel who want you to know that every NFL Thursday is your chance to hit the jackpot with FanDuel. And that's because with FanDuel's Thursday touchdown jackpot, you can win a share of $2 million in bonus bet bets each week. And to get in on this Thursday's action, all you have to do is place an anytime touchdown scorer bet before the game kicks off. And if your player scores the first or last TD of the game, you'll win your bet plus a share of bonus bets 21 + and President Arizona opt in must apply profit boost token on select market prize pool to be split equally among all eligible participants who made the correct first or last TD pick. Bonus issued is non withdrawable bonus bets which expire 21 days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text NEXT STEP to.

[G]

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