11-11-25 - Sad News As We Learn That Bret's Dad Has Passed Away - Making Bold Prediction About The Suns Early In Season - UofA Science Professor Naming A Dissertation On Aliens The Holmberg Conundrum After Our Discussion Last Week

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode Title: 11-11-25 – Sad News As We Learn That Bret's Dad Has Passed Away – Making Bold Prediction About The Suns – UofA Science Professor Naming A Dissertation On Aliens After The Holmberg Conundrum
Date: November 11, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Dick Toledo (Bret Vesely not present)
Main Theme:
A blend of sincere reflection, offbeat humor, and irreverent deep dives, this episode centers on the sad news of Bret Vesely’s father’s passing, wild NBA Suns predictions, and Holmberg's offhand theory about aliens inspiring an academic dissertation—the “Holmberg Conundrum”—at the University of Arizona.

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1. Opening & Bret Vesely’s Loss

Tone: Thoughtful, irreverent, supportive.

• Announcement of Bret’s Absence ([01:18]):
  • John Holmberg opens with the fresh, somber news that co-host Bret Vesely's dad had passed away peacefully in his sleep just hours earlier.
  • Hosts reflect on their bond with Bret, sharing both warmth and trademark dark humor.
  • "We've grown quite close to him... If you can tolerate some Sambuca, raise him up in Brett's dad's honor and in Brett's family's." – John Holmberg ([02:10])
• Finding the Right Tribute ([02:13]–[04:42]):
  • Attempts at a toast spiral into jokes about terrible liquors and pouring out Ragu in Italian fashion.
  • "We show our pets more dignity than we... our loved ones." – Brady ([04:09])
  • Emphasis on wanting to keep things light for Bret, encouraging listeners to send him jokes and memes for catharsis.
  • "Everybody always emails me and says... you guys were the first ones that made me laugh after this happened." – Holmberg ([05:21])

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2. Veterans Day Letters Tradition

Nostalgic Mockery Meets Local Tradition

• The hosts revisit their tradition of reading children’s Veterans Day letters sent from Arizona schools ([06:29]):
  • Playful moaning about bad handwriting and the infamous “Tang high on the plex” letter from years past, now a recurring inside joke.
  • Banter about the possible age of the original “Tang high on the plex” kid, pondering if he’s now an adult ([08:44]).
  • "They're reading at a fourth grade level. They're full of themselves right now... I'm gonna get a house soon." – Holmberg ([07:46])
• John admits that, even as a morning show veteran, reading those letters is both hilariously bad radio and irresistibly funny.

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3. Sports Segment: Suns Prognostications

High Energy, Classic Jinxing, and Locks of the Week

• Phoenix Suns Talk ([11:14]):
  • Excitement after a dominating Suns game, especially Grayson Allen’s 40+ point night.
  • "All I've learned in the last couple weeks is that Grayson Allen hated Kevin Durant." – Holmberg ([12:28])
  • Hosts suggest Durant’s departure “freed up” other players and improved locker room vibes.
• Bold Predictions & Show Bets ([15:06]):
  • Kevin Ray (Suns broadcaster) inspires optimism about the Suns’ playoffs prospects.
  • “If the Suns go to the finals, I will cut off a toe. Not the big one—that's for balance. How about my fourth toe from the left on my left foot?" – Holmberg ([15:11])
  • The prediction quickly transforms into less-gory wagers—tattoos, specifically a “311” tattoo if the Suns make the Finals.
  • “I'm actually going to root against the Suns. I'm going for season tickets to root against them.” – Holmberg ([16:11])

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4. Listener Engagement & Veteran’s Day Promo

Community Shout-Outs and Comedic Cynicism

• The 6:00 a.m. word for winning $1,000 is announced: “prize.” ([17:11])
• Discussion of listener emails expressing gratitude for the show’s role as comic relief through hard times.

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5. "The Holmberg Conundrum": From Radio Bit to Academic Paper

Aliens, Academia, and Human Arrogance

• Wild Theory Gets Recognition ([17:40]):
  • A retired UofA astrophysicist emails John, crediting the show’s recent musings about alien contact as inspiration for serious study.
  • If aliens found our solar system, why visit Earth? Wouldn't they go for the sun instead?
  • Professor asks permission to name his dissertation “The Holmberg Conundrum — The Arrogance of Humanity and Alien Encounter.”
    • “When you theorized that a spacecraft would come and blow up the sun long before it would ever search for a planet with life is so spot on…” – Prof. William H. (read by Holmberg, [18:31])
  • Holmberg and the group riff: “We're the Corey Feldman of space. We think we're famous... but we're not.” ([19:32])
• Philosophical Back-and-Forth ([20:00]–[21:44]):
  • Hosts debate if aliens would care about humanity or just use the sun as a “supercharger.”
  • Holmberg: "If they're hell-bent on destroying stuff, there's the way to do it.” ([20:10])
  • Group jokes about being “the mountain goats of space” or the “merryvale” (a less-desirable suburb) of the universe ([32:45]).
  • “Do you want to meet trailer trash? Because we're space trailer trash... we're going to order the cheapest thing on the menu and embarrass them.” – Holmberg ([31:13])
• Theoretical Extensions:
  • Would the aliens be explorers (like Columbus) or conquerors, repeating historical cycles of colonization? ([33:13], [36:28])
  • “Everything is cyclical and we here on Earth don't have any way to discover anything anymore. Somebody has to discover us.” – Holmberg ([36:28])

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6. The "Holmberg Conundrum" as an Academic Legacy

A Joke Turns Real, Kind Of

• Holmberg jokes about Nobel Prize ceremonies, attending if the paper wins: ([23:00])
  • "If, in fact, you do win any prizes for that, I get to at least go to the ceremony because it's technically mine."
• More banter about whether the professor is reputable or an eccentric (“Wild Bill”), and whether Tucson scientists can be trusted ([29:27], [42:05]).
• Playful promises: “If the Holmberg Conundrum wins a prize, I’ll buy everyone listening a house. While supplies last.” – Holmberg ([43:47])
• Mock T-shirt slogan idea: “You owe me a house, bro. The Holmberg Conundrum.” ([43:58])

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7. Cultural Satire & Tangents

Barbecue Boredom, Car Envy, Colonial Analogies

• Stories about awkward “dad” and “MBA” conversations at the Suns game—brisket, smokers ([48:55]).
• Extended riff on encountering Aborigine history in Australia and colonial metaphors for alien contact ([33:32], [35:06]).
• “We gave it to him. We’re morons. We’ve seen this.” – Holmberg, likening colonial history to possible outcomes of alien contact ([35:06])

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8. Finale & Notable Quotes

Signature Absurdity, Sincerity, and Recaps

• Listeners are reminded (playfully) that the only word that matters for the prize is “prize” with a Z, not “pride.” ([46:33])
• Closing callback: “If the Holmberg Conundrum gets going, everybody gets... I will. Okay. 6:24am 1111 25. If the Homer conundrum wins a prize at all, I'll buy everyone a house while supplies last.” – Holmberg ([43:47])
• Final references to “Tang high on the plex” and the prospect of the show’s legacy becoming scientific canon.
• Signature irreverent sign-off about not worrying about aliens, the internet, or human priorities ([45:29]).

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Notable Timestamps & Quotes

• Bret Vesely’s Loss Announced – [01:18]
  • “We start the show miserable... just got word that Bret’s dad passed away last night...” – Holmberg
• Veterans Day Letters & "Tang High on the Plex" – [08:15]
  • “Tang high on the plex is 18? Shut your mouth.” – Holmberg
• Suns Toe/Tattoo Bets – [15:11–16:11]
  • “If the Suns go to the finals, I will cut off a toe... Eh, I’ll go back to tattoos.”
• Holmberg Conundrum Email – [18:31]
  • “I’d like to title it the Holmberg Conundrum: The Arrogance of Humanity and Alien Encounter.”
• Space Trailer Trash – [31:13]
  • “Do you want to meet trailer trash? Because we’re space trailer trash.”
• “You owe me a house, bro” – [43:58]
  • “Would that be our next T-shirt, please? 'You owe me a house, bro.' The Holmberg Conundrum.”

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Episode Takeaways

• A blend of real emotion and gallows humor in dealing with loss as a community.
• Bold sports fandom and bets mix good-natured cynicism with giddy hometown pride.
• Wild theories and comedic monologues seamlessly pivot into real-world impact, as a flippant take on alien contact morphs into an academic paper.
• The show’s unique angle: equal parts self-mocking, Arizona-centric, and defiantly odd; every topic—serious or silly—gets the HMS treatment.

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For those who missed it:
This episode perfectly encapsulates [Holmberg’s Morning Sickness] at its best—irreverent, heartfelt, local, and just clever enough that you might find yourself referenced in a Nobel lecture for something you once screamed at the radio.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[B]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[A]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[B]

Easy. LegalGunbuyer do. And he can do it all online. It's really that simple.

[A]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms. It's Brett Veseley from homework's morning sickness. Now, I've always been the kind of guy that takes care of my own lawn. That's until I found Divine Design Landscaping. These guys aren't your typical mow and blow landscaping company. They do amazing work. And it's just what I needed to finally throw on the towel and let the experts take over. If you've been unhappy with your landscaping or sick of trying to do it yourself, well, it's time to get a hold of Divine Design Landscaping. These guys handle everything. Lawn care, irrigation, tree, low voltage lighting, 3D designs. Get a free quote at DivineDesignLawnCare.com that's DivineDesignLawnCare.com.

[C]

Sickness.

[D]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here.

[A]

Come on.

[D]

No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It is 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady. Brett's not here today and Toledo is here as well. We start the show miserable. Just got word that Brett's dad passed away last night, but in a peaceful way, in his sleep. So literally just got that a couple minutes before the show started. So definitely our brains aren't on mine. At least. I don't know isn't 100 in this today. I'm thinking about Brett, who again, like I said yesterday, has just been an absolutely positive breath of fresh air for this entire room for the last five and a half years. So we've grown quite close to him. I would say. Wouldn't you say, Brady?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And do you think.

[B]

I mean, what's the proper toast? Sambuca.

[D]

Yeah, let's. Yeah, let's drop. God, you know what? I don't love them that much. Let me just go that far. I'm not going to toast him. If you. If you can tolerate some Sambuca, raise him up in Brett's dad's honor and in Brett's family's. Brett, Mathias and the gang over there going through this. But, yeah, Sambuka is a tough one. I'm not gonna. Huh? Malort. Jesus Christ. I mean, this is. I thought we were gonna do a tribute here, boys. Malort and Sambuca.

[C]

I said, go have a Malort with your dad. He goes, we probably will.

[D]

Yeah. God. Yeah. Well, I'm just glad his dad isn't here to see that, for crying out loud. But, yeah, Malort and Sambuca.

[B]

What?

[D]

What's. We need a better toast. Either way, we're thinking about you. And that's proof right there. We're thinking about you. Now. I'm thinking some negative stuff right now, and I shouldn't be, but, yeah, it's. It's never fun. And that news just happened for us. And I don't know what time that they found out, but Matthias just text me about 10, 15 minutes ago and. And let me know that that was it. And, you know, you get to these situations and you just. You plop down into nonsense and say, I'm glad it happened that way. I guess of the worst inevitable news you can get. I guess the passing peacefully in the middle of the night is what we all kind of.

[C]

I felt guilty because I was so happy that my mom was gone when.

[D]

Well. And that's what your mom was going through, the COPD in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just. It's just yuck. And you just feel for the person. You know, I never.

[B]

You know, when they're in the final stretch.

[D]

Yeah, it seems so.

[B]

I mean, there's a lot of similarities. But you. You want them like my dad. Like, I don't want it to drag out.

[D]

Yeah. I would never equate this to an animal. But you kind of do. I've not been through the. The big whips of, you know, parent. Parental loss, but we do that so much for our dogs. We see them suffer and we're like, we just have to end this. Like, it's gonna hurt, but I want this to be over for them. And so I've said it before. We show our.

[C]

Our Pets more dignity than we. Our loved ones.

[D]

Yeah. And so, yeah, they're going through it. I'm not gonna drink sambuca, though.

[C]

Yeah, no.

[D]

God had to like something other than sambo.

[C]

Nice bourbon.

[D]

You know what we can do?

[C]

There's some nice tequila in the other room.

[D]

Little ragu. A little ragu? I said throw a little ragu in a cup and throw that in. Bread will be thrilled with that. Mama's gravy. I mean, the best you can do. Just anything in honor, if you can take the sambuca or the malort, which. Good Lord, do you not have taste buds?

[C]

We do have a jar of ragu as well in the other room.

[D]

You know what? We'll pour out some raghu for homie. Yeah, it's just. It's just cruddy news. That's. That just sucks. So. To Brett. We love you, kid. And just. He'll be back when he's back. People already just blowing up my emails and my phone saying, tell Brad. You guys can tell him to be Vesley. And is it V E S L E Y V E S E L V E S E L E Y. I always screw his last name.

[C]

No, not L E Y. V E.

[D]

S E, L Y. That's why I get the E screwed up every time. V E S e, L. Yeah, Vaselli. If I get it right one of these days. I've known him for a long time, and I always ask him, how do you spell your last name? I screw up that last D all the time.

[C]

If it wasn't in my phone, I'd probably screw it up every time, too.

[D]

V E S E L Y B V E S E L Y. And you can pass on your well wishes to Brett because I'm sure he'll. He'll love. He'll love that. That would be a nice thing. Just say, and even though, you know, throw a bomb at him, hit him in the head with a little joke, make the guy laugh. You know, a couple of those Internet memes that Brett seems to be such a fan of. Now's the time. Yeah, no, now's the time. I mean, if there's any. Look, everybody always emails me. In 25 years of doing this, everybody always emails me and says something like, you guys were the first ones that made me laugh after this happened. I. I got a laugh out of this. It made me. You know, and they get a kick out of it. And so you always get that one dude who's the jackass that says, hey, knock, knock, or something stupid, right? After you're like, I just give you the worst news of my life, and it's cathartic. Let me tell you that. It can help out. So to Brett. Cheers. And we get right to that. Also to Veterans Day. I mean, Veterans Day is here upon us. And you've got the letters from the kids. I assume. We'll do those in a little while. The only time I ever say that with any sort of happiness, you've got the letters from the kids. Normally, I think that's the worst radio thing in the world. We read letters from the kids.

[C]

The worst would be having the kids read their own letters.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Oh, God. I don't ever want to hear one talk. But the. Wait a minute. Somebody just said, how about some ceviche? Brett's Italian is ceviche from yesterday's conversation.

[C]

No.

[D]

We can do that anyway. Yeah. So we get those letters from those kids. It's. It's the Harris that does it. Right. And every kid in the school.

[C]

Harrison.

[D]

Yeah. Every kid in the school drops a thank you note to the veterans. And then we get hold of them. I don't know how we get hold of them. Are we supposed to mail them for us? What?

[C]

Yeah, they do them for us.

[D]

All those kids color and write letters so we can make fun of those years. Bad. The school system is.

[A]

It started.

[B]

I'm a tradition.

[C]

It started because they wanted to do the letters. And I said, oh, you got to get me some of those letters.

[D]

Because we were stuffing those letters in with the. We dropped those boxes when we were. When we had a war. We would fill the boxes of stuff to send to the troops for the holidays.

[C]

To the Arizona troops.

[D]

Yeah. And there was. And then. So the kids are just doing this.

[C]

Kids are just doing it now. And then we get them to Margie at ma' am and. And she distributes them with fan task.

[B]

What's the grade average again? Is it third or. I thought you were talking gpa.

[D]

Yeah, these kids are running about a three, eight. Brady. They're pretty bright. Third grade, three through six.

[C]

I think it's. I think it's awesome. Yeah, three through six.

[D]

They're reading at a fourth grade level. They're. They're full of themselves right now. They're feeling a little. They're, you know, they're flexing on the other kids in the second grade, but that's all right. You know, one of them. I'm gonna get a house soon. I'm reading pretty good third grade.

[C]

You should see how I do fractions.

[D]

Yeah. You See fractions so far past that. I'm fifth grade in that stuff. Well, we'll see what they can do. And a lot of them. Look, I think if we made Brady write a letter to the troops and stuffed it in there, you wouldn't know. I mean, there would be a little bit more cohesion to the words. But that hand might not be a.

[C]

Tang high on the plex.

[D]

Tang high on the plexus. That's where this all began. And that was like, eight years ago when some kid wrote a letter to the thing and for some reason ended it with the phrase Tang on the plex. And it was our 67 for, like, five months. We had no idea what it meant, but it couldn't be like it was a good thing. It's like, look, whenever something good happens to you, Tang high on the plex. So that's how we felt about it.

[C]

We talked about it, like, maybe. Maybe a month ago or so. That kid, I think, is graduating this year.

[D]

Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. Tang high in the plex is 18. Yeah. Come on here. That's by.

[C]

By time.

[D]

Yeah, I guess he was probably.

[B]

His grade average was.

[D]

Well, he's still in fifth grade, right? Tang high in the plex is not. He hasn't advanced, like, educationally. He's still stuck where. Tang high in the flex again. What if Tang high in the plex. Like, I want to meet him. Does he know he's Tang high on the Plex? Does anyone know him?

[B]

He started 6, 7.

[D]

He's the kid who's got that going. He's getting all six, seven royalties. Come on.

[C]

Yeah, come.

[D]

Liver spots are just blowing up off my arms. Tanghai on the plex. Can't be 18. He's, like, 13. Maybe I don't even want him to be a teenager because we did Tang high on the Plex. Was that the old building?

[C]

I think it might have been the first. Because that might have been the first year here.

[D]

That's nine years ago.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, for Mother. We've been doing this too long. At certain point, Tripp even asked me that if. Do you still want to keep doing morning radio? I'm like, what are you talking about, old man? I'm. Look, we're doing this together.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. No, but why? What? Do you not want me here? No outlets. I just can't imagine wanting to do that for 30 years. Well, I couldn't imagine it either.

[A]

And here I went.

[D]

Are you firing me in the worst way ever? No, I want you to stay. But, man, don't you hate waking up. All right, I'm leaving your office. Yes. Folgers. Yeah. Yeah. The best part of waking up is going back to sleep anyway. I had to put some gum in my mouth because I'm dry.

[B]

He knows where you lie in the mornings.

[D]

No, he knows. He knows. I am an un. I'm a reluctant morning man. It's my dad's curse. My dad cursed me to be a morning person. He cursed me 3am Summertime, probably 15 years old. So we'll go back.

[C]

You're not throwing up weights at 3am though, right?

[D]

He was. I was away. Oh, no. He loved it. He loved alarms to wake him up. He loved being awake really early. He's a farm guy, so he'd wake up, see me on the couch, still awake from the night before. What in the hell are you doing? This is not how the world works. Like, it is too, old man. I'll make this work. It's not how it works. You'll see. And then I think he did a thing like a Stephen King novel. I curse you thinner. And I'm like, what? And then I had to start waking up at 4 in the morning every day for a quarter of a century. I'm fine with it now, but because I figured out how to stay up all night and make this work.

[C]

Been a year about that on that schedule.

[D]

I'm back and forth with it. The last few weeks have been so crazy with my daytimes, I haven't been able to get naps. So I'm kind of back in the. I'll fall asleep at, like, 11 and then wake up at, like, 2 and try to. I'm only getting three or four hours at a time. It's working great. And I'm still brilliant, by the way. I have proof of that right now. I'm gonna read something to you guys. Oh, yeah. In five minutes, I'm gonna give you the code word for taking it app. It's going to be good stuff. I was at the Sun's game last night, and Kevin Ray came down. We started talking afterwards, and I got all amped up. I got. I got to calm myself down. They looked so good, but the Pelicans are so awful. They look so good with their, you know, getting healthy again. And these guys play really hard, and they're fun. And he came to. Kevin Ray came down to my friend Mark Stebbings. And I heard Mark go, you think? I'm like, what are you two talking about? Kevin thinks this team's got a legitimate shot to be a High end playoff team. They play. Oh, no, not now. No, don't do this.

[C]

High end. So like one of the top five, top five income.

[D]

It's because they do play really hard. And if they can get some chemistry together and stay healthy.

[C]

I notice they go on runs. Every time I look at the score, it's. It's like tied. They're, they're down two and next thing you know, they're up 20.

[D]

All I've learned in the last couple weeks is that Grayson Allen hated Kevin Durant. That hat. That's it. Because he scored 40 something points last night. He couldn't stay, couldn't miss. He had 18 in the first quarter. I think it was incredible. I was hitting everything and I'm like, this would have never happened if Kevin Durant was out there. He hated Kevin Durant. He just always gave him the ball and stood around like, I hate that guy.

[C]

He's like, I have to give it to you.

[D]

I think Kevin Durant's nickname here was the black hole. Cause once the ball went to him, it disappeared. It was. But they all look happy. Like Kevin Durant's gone. And I don't know if he was just kind of a. He was the best player on their team for three years, but they just seem happy again. Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and you hear me all the time talking about my friends at Lost Our home pet rescue. We do the pick of the litter and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] Every week I head over to Lost Our Home Pet rescue and I meet a brand new beautiful animal that needs a home. The work they do at Lost Our Home is unbelievable. Not just your average pet shelter, that is for sure. They help people in a lot of situations. Look them up online lostorhome.org and check out everything we [e-mail] in the pick of the litter section.

[E]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Downtown at Stand Up Live, you've got Moshe Casher and the pride of Jacksonville, Florida, Lil Duvall performing Desert Ridge up north features the very funny Hans Kim and Eastside at the Tempe Improv has two entertaining comedians with with Alvin Kawhi and Basim Yousef. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's.

[D]

Morning Sickness and he went nuts last night. If Grayson Allen can become a 30 points every once in a while guy, let alone 40 plus, you've actually got a team that can do some damage. Not necessarily win a champion. They're not beating Oklahoma City or anything, but come on. Crazy. So Kevin got us all amped up last night with this insanity of, you know, championship talk or at least a run. No, no, no. Beta. Look, nobody expected them to.

[C]

How many games in army?

[D]

10, something like that. Somewhere around seven or eight. Either way, don't. But in 2021, Kevin reminds us, everybody expected that to be a seven or eight seed, and it ended up going to the finals, winning 60 plus games like. God damn it. So Kevin. Kevin Ray came in with his Pollyanna nonsense.

[C]

Flag this show.

[D]

Yeah, flag it. All right, we'll do it. I'm not. Okay, I'll say it.

[C]

I'll do predictions.

[D]

11, 1125 at 5:58am if the Suns go to the finals, I will cut off a toe.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[D]

I'm not going to do tattoos anymore. That's silly. That's. I will cut off a toe. Not the big one. That's for balance. How about my fourth toe from the left on my left foot?

[C]

Yeah. Because I think you need your pinky, too, don't you?

[D]

For balance?

[B]

I thought the pinky was important.

[D]

I don't want the pinky. P and big are huge. Four is, I think, kind of dopey. Although my fourth toe is long.

[C]

I can't flex that one, man.

[D]

My. My. My toes. 2, 3, and 4.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Are as long as my middle finger and third finger. All right, let me change that. I thought maybe amputating something would be good, but maybe. I got to go back to tattoos. All right, I'll go back to tattoos.

[C]

What about just a knuckle of the toe?

[D]

Just the top part? Yeah. That's sort of like Vietnamese torture, isn't it? That's just dumb. Yeah.

[B]

And the tattoo.

[D]

Yeah. Of a foot without a toe is a 311 tattoo. Okay. There it is. If the sun's on your toe. No, no, on my chest. Oh, their logo. Brady's.

[B]

Right.

[D]

A big one. Nip to nip, they call it. I'll go nip to nip311 if the Suns go to the finals. Jesus Christ. I'm actually going to root against the Suns. I'm going for season tickets to root against them. I feel bad because last night I told Kevin Ray because me and the boys went. A bunch of us, like a whole bunch of friends were. Happened to be at the game and they're all Rah Rah room members. So I'm like, well, head in after the game. We're sitting there, I'm just like, hey. I text Kevin, I'm like, game's overhead. The Rah Rah room. And he was probably 30 minutes later than the game ended. So right as it's ending, we're wrapping up, we're all done, and Kevin comes in, orders a drink. We talk for a few minutes, like, all right, Kevin, we're all gonna go. What are you guys doing? I just got here. It's like we're leave behind dry friend. And it was so sad that all of us just tailed off and just saw sad Kevin alone at the bar in his suit, looking so nice and, you know, trying to convince people the Sun's are championship team. He will argue with me that he said that, but he got us all fired up together. Be careful with your words, Kevin. Right. We're not that bright. Or are we? Listen to this email. Oh, the word. Six o' clock word. Here it is. Prize. It's prize. This glorious Veterans Day prize. And put that in the 6am promo code box on your app. You can win a thousand bucks. It's just that easy. We buy you love. Listen to this crap. You never thought this would happen, by the way. You're going to be like, I, I never. No way. Yeah, and I'm saying the same thing. Dear John, I'm a retired astrophysicist and I've worked in science departments. Watch this.

[C]

No way.

[D]

Watch. Watch this. And worked in science departments my entire life. I listened to your show because you're a lot more brilliant than you give yourself credit. He's probably right. I like to consider. Well, I'll let him say it, but.

[C]

Have we researched his accreditation?

[D]

No. Since then, I actually did not do any of that. His. My humility is the strongest thing I've got. So I let him say all those words. I mean, I'm too humble to do it. Really super humble. People always compliment me on it, and I know deep down how humble I am. Anyway, it says when you theorized that a spacecraft would come and blow up the sun long before it would ever search for a planet with life is so spot on. I started a study here at my department at U of A. You guys hadn't thought of that yet? Because I'm considering a full paper on this, and if you'd allow it, I'd like to title it the home Bird Conundrum. The arrogance of humanity. And Alien Encounter.

[C]

Yes, yes, by the way.

[D]

To both of you guys.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

Screw us. You'll be on in perpetuity, it says.

[D]

Or something of the like. I will name that whether you agree to this or not. I just wanted to be courteous. You make me laugh a lot. It's wildly appreciated. In my world, scientists are a dark people. I wish Brett was here to hear like that would. That would have thrown Brett to the floor. Many of us not that funny at all. However. Signed William H. The Home Bird Conundrum.

[C]

Can you guys rename Sodomizing Linda?

[D]

Yeah, it's not just called the Home Bird Conundrum. It's one of those PA that This is why I always got seized. Yeah. It's because mine were always like red sock and then. But this is always like a cool title, like the Homework Conundrum. The arrogance of humanity. An Alien Encounter. Come on. And if you weren't listening the other day, I basically said, we are the Corey Feldman of space. We think we're famous. We're kind of known, but we think we're famous enough that people would come to us.

[C]

We're known. We've been telling people we're here for how long?

[A]

50 years.

[D]

We've been running around Corey Feldman. Ing this thing screaming out to the rest of space, hey, notice me. I'm Corey Feldman. I'm famous. And the rest of space is like, I'm not going to the Corey Feldman planet. That's dumb. Let's go blow up its sun.

[B]

But think about it on the other side. That we assume that we're the ones throwing it out there, and there could be another planet, whatever that's been throwing it out for thousands of years, of course, picking up.

[D]

Of course there's something else doing stuff like that. But if they're like, we're big on this Three Eye Atlas thing that's behind the sun right now to the point now where they found something else next to it.

[C]

Saw that last night.

[D]

Yeah. They got some other thing now that Something rays.

[C]

Something about the gamma rays.

[D]

I don't know. I'll talk to Bill over in Science. Yeah, yeah. And, oh, they've got all sorts of stuff tied to Three Eye Atlas that they're trying to scare. But they keep saying it as if we're the target. If they found the sun, they wouldn't have to go around it. They go. They'd go next. They're only going to use the gravitate. No, we'd have to use that. They got here.

[C]

What if the sun is there? Supercharger Anyway, they gotta wait 20 minutes for. For this to charge.

[D]

What we're talking about right now is the Holmberg conundrum. It's a well known science. It's a. It's more of a view. It would be awesome if this like. And but here's the other thing. Why haven't scientists thought of this? You guys are that arrogant too, that it took some jackass on the radio to say, they're not coming for us. They blow up the sun. For if they're hell bent on destroying stuff, there's the way to do it.

[B]

And for all we know, that thing could be the dolly steamboat. It's giving a tour around the sun.

[D]

For people and we're the mountains the whole time. Yeah, that could be.

[C]

That's actually very funny.

[D]

That would be awesome. If you look out the right side of the spacecraft, you'll see some Earth people. They're the mountain goats of space. They don't do.

[C]

How long we got on this? Jesus, get me back.

[D]

Ah. All they serve is M and Ms. God damn it. When did this end?

[C]

Glark John and Glark Brett are on that ride.

[D]

I guarantee you. I love you. Arizona's playing on that one too. Because it's design to put. I think the dolly steamboat's designed to put you to sleep. And then somebody rifles through your pockets and you go out and you're like, what happened?

[B]

I remember buying drinks for everyone.

[D]

Yeah, People who've been human trafficked come out of that thing a little more cognizant of what's going on than you. Bill Cosby's victims walk down the hall of the hotel going, I kind of have my wits about me. You leave the dolly steamboat kind of confused about your whole life. Like, you literally are like, we're going to stop by a Home Depot on the way home, get a rope and a bucket. I might kick the bucket out from under me.

[B]

Today you're also picking up wood to make your Pima Indian ladder to lean.

[D]

Up against your house. Put it up again.

[B]

It's the epitome of a first time visitor to Arizona.

[C]

Get your Coca Cola, you pick up Lake Deadwood.

[D]

Yeah. Well, you get your dumb ladder that ends up holding an Indian blanket somewhere in your house and then a Coca pelli nearby. And you're.

[C]

Do you actually have to strap it with leather?

[B]

Oh, if you want to be authentic, for sure. Love you, Arizona.

[D]

To your right, the boring humans. Yuck. Anyway, the Homer conundrum, It's sort of a thing.

[B]

That's cool.

[C]

Oh, it's being studied.

[D]

It will be studied. Voice. It's being written about and could potentially someday win a Nobel Prize. Okay, that's the deal, Dr. Bill. If, in fact you do win any prizes for that, I get to at least go to the ceremony because it's technically mine.

[C]

Wouldn't you be. If you go to that ceremony, you'd be back home with your piece people. If nobody away in Sweden.

[D]

Yeah, that's actually. That's true. I go back to Stockholm and hang out with the folks. Pear and Brit.

[B]

Yeah, we do some yachting with the other. The final. The other Homeburg. He would acknowledge you.

[D]

Oh, he might actually say hello. Yeah, the other John Holmberg. Yeah, he does not like me. It's. It's like me in the mirror. The other John Holberg doesn't like me.

[C]

It turns away.

[D]

Yeah, the other. The other John Holmberg looks at you go, you're disgusting. And that John Holmberg in the. In the Caribbean, I tried to email him. Just started John Holmberg convention and he quickly shut it down very fast. But I can go back to Sweden and get my. Yeah, my award for the Holmberg conundrum. It bothers me a lot, though, that they haven't thought of that. Or if they have, they haven't really done any, like. Because I've watched that one dude from Harvard, he's gone on every show about Three Eye Atlas, and all he's talking about is visiting us. They're visiting us. They have to go behind the sun to get the gravitational slingshot. And I'm like, they got here.

[B]

Yeah, they passed us. Well, they could have.

[D]

Well, no, no, no. It depends on what you're coming at us.

[B]

I thought they were slinging back around to do another pass by.

[C]

Yeah, but he's right toward us. They came in from one another.

[D]

It would slingshot at us. So you have to kind of get. They got next to the sun and then they whip it. But if they got. If they got that far, they don't need slingshots. That's what we did with the moon because we didn't know what else to do. Why would they travel through all of space and then use our stupid technology? I bet you they got stuff they can get. Not our technology, because they're not coming for us. They're looking at the galaxy. They don't know we're here. They're looking at the galaxy. And if they have explosives on the mine, if they're basically Indiana aliens, they're coming with their tannerite and their silliness. And they're gonna blow up the sun. Or they're just that you'd see stuff start to blow up on the way in. Hillbillies don't plan it. They just throw it out the window. So if they're hillbilly aliens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They throw the space over. They're just gonna go, pew, pew. What's that?

[C]

Gas on the beach, right?

[D]

Yes. They pour gas on beaches and run from it with the gas can in hand. That's a hillbilly alien. So if they're coming for us, the homburg conundrum states quite clearly, they wouldn't blow us up. They'd blow up the sun. Now the big question in the Holmberg conundrum, Are they like the Japanese warriors of World War II where they were willing to self sacrifice to explode up a galaxy?

[B]

They've been the chosen crew.

[D]

Yep. Or is it some type? This is also probably. Let me help Dr. Bill out. This is probably also part of the Homer conundrum that maybe it is some sort of a sacrifice that they were sent across space as punishment to, you know, to blow up, to just die in the sun. Like throwing them in a volcano and stuff.

[C]

Yeah, it's their honor. What do they call that?

[B]

Sacrificial.

[D]

Sacrificial? Yeah, they get rid of them to, like, have fertile women. I don't know. Yeah.

[C]

Joe versus the volcano.

[D]

Whatever it is, they're tiny and they're out there by the sun and stuff, and they're starting to see propulsion. I'm rooting for it. I kind of hope it happens. I think it would be neat. I want to be on the planet when the next phase happens.

[E]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey.

[D]

It'S Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO. And Wayne, if my car has an extended warranty, do I have to take it back to the dealer for service?

[A]

No, Larry, if you have an extended service contract, you can use it at any amco.

[D]

Well, it's nice to have other options.

[A]

I'll say AMCO has dealership quality rental cars, no hassles, and faster service.

[D]

Amco does more than just transmissions, right?

[A]

Right. If you need car repairs or hear, feel, see, smell, or even think you have a car issue, call Amco first.

[D]

Just Google Amco for your nearest location that's amco double A MCO transmissions and.

[A]

A whole lot more.

[D]

Holmberg's morning sickness again. I've said it a million times. I don't want to be like my grandpa. Born the year the White Sox won the tainted World Series. Died just before they won it again in 2000.

[C]

Excitement.

[D]

Never saw anything except for Hitler. Was like.

[C]

And I was gonna say he was.

[D]

Like 10 or 11. Did he appreciate it? I don't think so.

[B]

Maybe they got word about the giant gold vein they found in China.

[D]

You got some of the rare earth minerals that they're here for, Perhaps. And that's the other part of the homebird conundrum, as it's been called now, Brady, for several minutes, the. We think that our. Do you ever see those things where the scientists say, well, if they ever came here, it would be because they. They are like us. They wrecked their planet and they want our resources. They're here to mine our resources. I'm like, oh, yeah, they love the gold we made up. And I know helium and, you know, stuff that we have under the earth that I don't understand. It's all written in the Homer conundrum. You guys can read about it soon. It's like, they know that that's here. They might look at it and go, hey, that's pretty close. Let's see. But that one dude from Harvard keeps popping up on TV talking about how he sees jet propulsion.

[B]

The colleagues think of him at Harvard.

[D]

Well, that guy, yeah, they love him. He's like a head of the whole department. And he runs around on TV as the spokesperson for this three eye atlas. And he always. He's the only one. Well, no, he always cushions the blow and says, look, there's some weird stuff going on here, but it's probably just a rock. But it is acting kind of strange. And then he'll go on and on. And then he even says, if it is aliens and they do come here like, you arrogant pile of garbage. Why do you think that we're.

[A]

We're.

[D]

Corey Feldman. Nobody's coming to this show. This is going. We can book this at the marquee and keep our fingers crossed that we can at least get enough people to get close to the sound guy. But I've seen it. There's not many interstellar show out there.

[C]

Somewhere that's saying, hey, you gotta go see these, and it'll double the attendance.

[D]

Here's the other. Yeah, there's like, yeah, there's a morning show in space going, you guys haven't seen this Crap. When you see humanity. Oh, my God, are they lame? And that's the thing. There's. And it's also a group of people you don't want coming here if there are fans. Because then there's Corey Feldman's fans in a spaceship on the way. Right? Yeah. The Homer conundrum is very deep.

[C]

And they're gonna find out we're not all like Corey Feldman.

[D]

How about that? That's pretty awesome. I think.

[B]

What if they're close talkers?

[D]

This guy says, do you really trust a guy like that, though? A scientist in Tucson. Can he be that smart? I do believe that U of A has a massive. Like their rovers down there. And yeah, Mars in conjunction. They did need biosphere.

[C]

They helped out with NASA with that.

[D]

All these are failures still going on, isn't it? It's a tourist attraction.

[C]

It's nothing more arcosante.

[D]

It's like people. Day three of the biosphere. People started having sex and breaking out. Yeah. I don't know. And didn't. Yeah, some dude buy it. And like on the outside, on the inside, complete mess. It was like this building. This is basically. We're in the biosphere. It barely works. The air conditioner sucks. And we all want to leave once the show's over anyway. Interesting enough though, to sit and think to ourselves that that's possible, that they'd come here. But we are so brilliantly arrogant. And I don't like that one thing. That guy's right. I don't trust that the scientists heard me say something and go, you know what? He's right. I don't like really smart people saying that's a novel thought when it seems so simple. I'm sure they've thought of this before, right? I'm sure they've thought of, like, how they could blow up sun. But they think that they're like. They think that they. We're so stupid. They think we think that aliens want to meet us. Do you want to meet trailer trash? Because we're space trailer trash. If they're flying all the way over here, that's the Rolls Royce, and you're driving a Yugo. We're going to. We're going to be the. We're going to. You remember old Jer who used to work here? Yeah. That's who we are to the aliens. Like, they're gonna want to go to like, steak 44. And they don't want to take us because we. We can afford Applebee's if we've got a coupon.

[C]

We're Gonna. We're gonna order the cheapest thing on the.

[D]

Embarrass them. They're gonna come here, and we think that we've got something going on. But have you seen their car? It's pretty awesome. Like, I go to the rah rah room, and there's some high pressure on some of these dudes. When you go get your car to walk past all those Bentleys, those things are trash compared to what's coming.

[C]

What's the worst car you've seen coming.

[D]

Out of the Rah rah Rah? Probably mine. The white Jeep or black Jeep or the white Jeep. Yeah, probably the white. It's a 2013 Rubicon, in fact. Yeah. 12 years old, a dude parked my Jeep. And they give you the keys at the end. He goes, man, your Jeep is loaded up. I'm like, oh, you off road. And he goes, that thing has got some secrets on it. And I'm like, yeah, it's kind of got some hidden gems in there. Kind of makes it a. A good crawler. I said, I'm not good at it because I don't know how to fix it. So I have to go with people who know what they're doing. He goes, yeah. And then he hits the button to start the engine. And in that parking garage, my engine just went, oh, my God. Whitey's proudest. No, Whitey's proud. And I walk towards the deal, and I look and I realize that the 392Rubicon V8 is parked next to me, and it's a white one. He was talking about that one the whole time. He thought that was mine. I'm like, this is the wrong key. You gave me the wrong key. He started it for me and hands it over. I'm like, this isn't my car. Oh, sorry. You're the cruddy one. Like, no, it's still good.

[C]

After you'd just gone through and I.

[D]

Was sitting there telling him everything about, yeah, it's got to get this isn't that. And then a calculator and a. And a chai rod, and I don't even know any of this stuff.

[B]

It's been through some terrain.

[D]

Yeah, it's been.

[B]

It seems miles on it.

[D]

It's seen some man.

[C]

John F. You. I refuse to believe that we live in the merry veil of space.

[D]

We are. We are the merryvale of space again. If a Rolls Royce pulls up in your driveway, do you sit back and go, oh, we gotta straighten it up? Or do you go, hey, maybe they'll take us over to Chili's, because that's what the aliens are gonna think outback at least. I think Brady's feeling bad about this. You look at me as if you've got the opposite opinion, that we are quite reasonable and. And something desirable. But you love neighbor talk.

[B]

I. I think it's Christopher Columbus of the alien world coming to discover this island.

[C]

Yeah, you're excited about it.

[D]

So he's gonna come slaughter us.

[B]

Yeah, they'll bring some disease. Fall in love with ranch dressing. Something like that.

[C]

Look at you with a dark outlook.

[D]

How did ranch dressing get all mixed up in this? Just because Americans are fat.

[B]

Cause there's a hillbilly factor.

[D]

Oh, there's a hillbilly fact. You think that they'll come over and adapt to our ranch dressing way.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

What's gonna happen is they'll show up and do what we did to the Native Americans and what Australians did to the Aborigines. And whatever they have as sugar and white flour will be poured onto a super proud and fit group of people. Again. Go back and look at the Aborigines before the Australians got there. And it wasn't like when they started to bother them. There's photographs like, Australia's not that old. There's photographs of what happened to the Aborigines in a matter of 15 years. Alcohol, sugar and flour. And when I was in Australia, the tour of the Aborigine village, the cute tour guide girl goes. And we took a page from the American colonists and introduced alcohol and sugar to the natives. And within few months, they were no longer as vital and vibrant as they once were. And you're like, what, you took a page from the Amer? We did that. And you guys said, hey, good idea. Fatten them up, make them lazy and drunk, and then we can force them into, you know, undammed water retention zones and then break the damage. Here's your new land. It's filled with water. It's great. It's good. It all dammed up for you. It's great for. Well, you can do agriculture and everything. We're giving you a bit of space for Australia. We're just going to take the coastline, if you don't mind. That's our coastline. Didn't understand you there, savage. All right, off we go. And then they just undo the big.

[C]

Rock in the middle.

[D]

The day. The day that they're like, all right, we are all set up here. I think they talk like ours, too. We are all set up. We are ready to go for more. Great Aborigine stuff. All right, open her up. And then they just flooded them out with 25ft of water. It was terrifying. And then they'd do it again like down the road. Yeah, your friends up there met with some bad luck. Shouldn't happen to you. Why don't you get down in this giant pit, have some more sugar. These are called Liquor Maids. You guys are gonna love these. Maybe the last group got flooded. Did you do that? No, mate, we wouldn't do that. No. And they flooded them too. And it was like the eighth tribe before. They're like, all right, that's enough. No more liquor made and no more moving. We're sticking it. We're staying here. By the way, that rock is called Uluru. Not anymore. My name's Ayers and I've named the rock Ayers Rock. It's mine. Go stand in your retention basin. That's what we'll be. We'll be the Aborigines and the Native Americans. When they come over and they introduce us to something, they're like, what the hell is this? And they'll go, it's Glockmark. Jesus Christ, it's better than liquor made. And then we get fat and lazy and diabetic and we sit and stare at these colonists who just ravage us. And we're like, oh, we gave it to him. We're morons. We've seen this.

[B]

Just the ones that are living off the grid survive.

[D]

I kind of like your theory though, Brady, that it's the Columbus thing because everything is cyclical and we here on Earth don't have any way to discover anything anymore. Somebody has to discover us. Put this in the Holmberg conundrum. This is a good page. The Brady byline. It's like. But don't let him write it because nobody will ever be able to. It's left handed and I think he's right handed. But yeah, that they come over because now the next cycle, the circles of history, it repeats itself. Has to be somebody else coming here. And then the, you know, the dominoes start to fall where they just take all of Earth and all of humanity and kind of imprison us and make us eat liquor made and smoke tobacco and drink their alcohol, which is much stronger and more powerful. The side by side photos. You've never felt worse sitting in that. It's a glorious rainforest and it's a. It's a six or seven thousand foot just lush green hill and they put this gondola in it that rides you down from the top of the hill, down to the coastline of the most beautiful beach you've ever seen. And on that beach, in a huge facility, is the Aborigine Historical Center. And an Aborigine stands there in the gear while the video plays and points out his ancestors. And like, man, that's a. That's. The NFL would have gone crazy for you guys. Ripped just, just Beasts of Men. And then, you know, 1908, picture that same group, not the same people, but like one generation later. And they were fat and messed up. And like, you brought us sugar, lots of it. And white flour. And you're like, oh, that's what we've got. We like that. Liquor mates and something called Spree. We loved them. We got fat on sprees, you pricks. Anyway, watch a video and then we'll go throw boomerangs. And that's exactly what we did with my day. It's one of my more confusing days in life. I learned History of the Aborigine people. And I cried at the movie, like, this is tragic. And then I went outside and threw boomerangs with one. He taught me that. He's how we hunt mate. And for some reason they have accents like that, too. He's how we hunt mate. See that out there? It was like a little 3D. Rap it, dude. Whips it takes the rabbit's head right off.

[C]

It's Nick Toluto from Homer's morning Sickness. For our friends at FanDuel who want you to know that every NFL Thursday is your chance to hit the jackpot with FanDuel. And that's because with FanDuel's Thursday touchdown jackpot, you can win a share of $2 million in bonus bets each week. And to get in on this Thursday's action, all you have to do is place an anytime touchdown scorer bet before the game kicks off. And if your player score first or last TD of the game, you'll win your bet plus a share of bonus bets 21 + in President Arizona opt in must apply profit boost token on select market prize pool to be split equally among all eligible participants who made the correct first or last TD pick. Bonus issued is non withdrawable bonus bets which expire 21 days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text NEXT STEP to 53342.

[E]

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[D]

Homburg's morning sickness boomerang isn't designed to come back. It's designed to slice something in half and then you go get it and if you miss, it comes back. That's the whole goal of the boomerang. Which was pretty cool. I didn't know that. I thought it was just a toy. It's not. It's a hunting device. It's like a big knife. Floats through space, knocks things dead, knocks them right out and then falls next to the thing. You get your boomerang back. If you miss, it comes right back. It comes back to you. The way they throw it, the way I threw it was. Is about 45 yards. You had to go get your boomerang close. And I didn't hit. Hit anything. You're not very good at this, mate. You can throw it real far though. Yeah. And then I would throw it and I'd hear nar nar nar. And it's just a dark guy in a. In a loincloth. Like why don't you put some jeans on? Let's act like this isn't like cuz we're not back in the part. He. Watch this. Watch me. Little 3D rabbit falls over.

[B]

Cool.

[D]

Now you troll more like. That one's gone. I don't know what you did there. I've never seen anyone throw it straighter. It's designed to turn around. It's not even hard. Look, the ladies are doing it. Well, that's not right.

[B]

It's like Mad Max. And they finally get it to their hand and cuts all the fingers off.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Well, he had that bladed one.

[C]

That's awesome.

[D]

And I thought that was just for movies.

[C]

That was the kid that had that one.

[D]

Yeah, the bladed one was all. You can't catch it. People try to catch it. You don't want to try to catch one. The real ones are heavy. They're not those. And then of course, what did I do? I went back and I'm going to buy one of these. I'm going to get good at and I'm going to fly back here. I'm a show.

[C]

Bought the one off the.

[D]

In the airport and it's Got the writing on it, says whammo. Yeah, it's. Yeah. Frisbee. Yeah. Anyway, that's what we are, is the Corey Feldman of space. And thanks to Bill over there, Dr. Bill 8 over at the U of A. And I don't know if it was Tucson. U of A. To be fair to the guy that says, you trust this guy? Scientist in Tucson. Maybe he's up here at the U of A downtown.

[C]

There you go.

[D]

Doing papers based on my brilliant thoughts. You never know.

[C]

Maybe we could audit his class. Is he teaching or is he.

[D]

I don't know. I'll email him back. I just got real excited. About me? Well, yeah, I didn't really say. I just figured I'd respond.

[C]

Don't you want to be there as it's presented?

[D]

No, but what if it's really stupid? What if he's like a bad scientist? Well, what if. What if at the end of it.

[C]

He'S like, let's see your resume, Dr. Bill.

[D]

Yeah, what if he says. And that's it. That's what I've come. What if Dr. Bill is known for the dude who just comes up with wild nonsense.

[C]

Kid raises his hand in class, come up with this nonsense. Well, I was listening to morning show.

[D]

I'm Dr. Bill. Shut up, Wild Bill. Let me finish. I've got a new one. Oh, crap. Stupid tenure. We gotta listen to him. And he goes off on this, you know, dumb idea, and then everybody boo. We've wanted to fire him for years, but he's legacy. Or maybe he's gone crazy or something and he's retired because they made him. He still pops up with papers now and again based on what he heard on the Morning Show. I was listening to Homebrew's morning sickness. Boo. Sit down, Dr. Bill. You're wasting everyone's time again. No, they're going to blow up the sun. Here we go. Could happen. Anyway, the word for this morning is prize. I'll stick to what I know, given you guys money in an attempts to buy ratings, which makes everything better for me, and that's fine. I'm gonna start buying houses for people if this. If the home bird conundrum gets going, everybody gets. I will. Okay. 6:24am 1111 25. If the Homer conundrum wins a prize at all, I'll buy everyone a house while supplies last.

[C]

I was just gonna say everyone, right?

[D]

Everyone listening to a point that comes up to me and says, think you owe me a house, bro. Then I know you were listening and also paying attention.

[C]

Would that Be our next T shirt, please.

[D]

You owe me a house, bro. The home bird conundrum. And then we'll start a real homework conundrum. I don't have enough money to buy all you people houses. I'm assuming this thing falls flat on its ass, it's like flipping a pancake. It ain't going anywhere. Dr. Bill thinks so. Doctor. Hey, look, Dr. Bill's down there doing all sorts of impressive stuff. I got to get a last name on him. But that's another thing. You didn't really include information about it.

[B]

You'd wonder if it really was like an advanced civilization far beyond our stuff.

[D]

Well, if they get here, they are right.

[B]

Come in there. I got scissors. Cut.

[D]

Cut.

[B]

The Internet. Cut power. No sell.

[D]

Well, yeah, but they wouldn't have to do that if they've got a ship that can get here.

[B]

They got the scramble buster.

[D]

Why, there's the Homer conundrum. The arrogance to assume that they have stuff. It was the thing.

[B]

And that's what. That's what I was saying originally. Everyone thinks.

[D]

Everybody thinks that they're going to use our things or they're going to be so worried about our Internet they have to cut it down. They're not worried about our Internet. We. We can scramble the Internet that. You don't need scissors for that. We have planes that do it now.

[B]

One across the line where they say there's seven main lines that, you know, China's been dragging anchors on ships. Oh, yeah.

[D]

To get the fiber optics under the ocean. Brady, they can just show up and scramble our. Our feeds.

[B]

Right?

[D]

Yeah. They don't need any scissors or an anchor.

[B]

I was joking.

[D]

I know. So still, that's the homework that they would be worried.

[C]

Got us Internet and space. Yeah. Starlink is everywhere.

[D]

They're still running those most stupid cables through the ocean.

[C]

I don't understand that.

[D]

Here's the thing we don't have to worry about. We don't have to worry about aliens coming here. Worrying about. Well, they have the Internet. We have to worry about. No, they don't care about anything we've got.

[B]

No, but this, our society, without electricity, Internet and phones, there'd be a little meltdown.

[D]

You think that's going to be more.

[E]

You're.

[D]

You losing the Internet is going to be more than the hovering cloud of alien.

[B]

Well, according to all the studies that they talk about that people can't give up their phones, of course.

[D]

But, Brady, if you looked up in the sky and saw a massive spaceship, would you be like, oh, I can't get tmz. I throw my phone at the spaceship. I throw my. I don't think we're that dumb. Although the Bogan conundrum has started. I don't think we'd be like, hey, my phone doesn't work. Do you think it's because of the giant thing that hovers above us now? And every hour on the hour goes, block me, stagger, frock D, mop up. And they've. They've, you know, discerned that that means that you have 10 minutes to live. People are saying, pride is not working. It's prize. Tamara Prize with a Z.

[C]

Pride is our sister station.

[D]

Yeah. That Katie. KB would do Pride. Yeah, they just shoot down the space aids and just. They'd rain down space aids on us. And then we would have our phone and the Internet. We're not worried about getting.

[C]

Check that dude's last name. You sure it wasn't Nye? I've seen that guy.

[D]

He's a comedian. Bill Nye's not even a real science either way. Anyway, he's writing a paper and it's got my name on it. And that is the furthest I've ever gone in college. So take that. Prize is the word at six o'. Clock. So I'm hearing.

[C]

To get in line first. First in on the house. My name first.

[D]

All right. Put it down. Buy you a goddamn house. An average one, too. Not like a dump. I'll get you whatever. The median price of house going like, think it's like 440 right now.

[C]

You'd be in San Tan Valley.

[D]

That's right. I'll move you out in the edges, but I'm going to get you a nice place. Place. If this thing wins any prizes or awards that are of note, if I start seeing any money out of the home, it's a paper. If I get to go to Sweden and didn't just wave and it came from me, said we were the Corey Feldman of space. And this guy started. He thinks I'm. He thinks I'm amazing. It's great.

[C]

John Holmberg turned out to be a great philanthropist with his winning show.

[D]

I'll be sitting there doing a peace prize. You know who I'm taking with me? Tang Hai on the plex. We're gonna sit there and go, you're pretty brilliant. You came up with something pretty amazing. And. And look at me.

[B]

That's the name of your farm.

[D]

Yeah, in the plex. But yeah, the aliens aren't coming here to cut out. To cut out our Internet. Everybody can call Me F down show up. They would be not impressed, that's for sure.

[C]

John, I don't want to rain on your parade, but that doctor has to be in Tucson because they have the Steward Observatory there.

[D]

Yeah, I know that.

[C]

Supposedly it's a big deal for the space sciences. They wouldn't be downtown because he'd have to drive to Tucson every day just to see the space.

[D]

Let me put this. If you're a smart man, and he evidently is, and you're a tenured professor. Doctor of science and astro. I don't know what he does. Sure.

[C]

Throw it in there. Astrophysics.

[D]

Sure. Okay. Probably quantum. Yeah, all of it. Would you live in Tucson if you didn't have to? I'd drive down to Tucson just for work and come back to reality. So smart. They got offices in downtown Phoenix now, and you can telecommute. I think scientists would figure this out first. So if I'm him him, I would only trust him if he's like, I love it down here. Like, you're not a good scientist.

[C]

Wake up, people. John Holmberg just told you that pox blankets are coming from the aliens.

[D]

Yes, they are. Don't take. Think, Brady. Don't take their gifts. Brady. I met a double Brady last night. We were joking around. My friend Mark brought three of his friends from college to the game last night, and they're all equally business dudes. They're MBAs. We called them the MB gays because they were just four dudes and pastels talking about daddy daughter days and boring stuff. And so we joked. Me and Jordan joked with him, was like, Jesus Christ, what are you two doing? And there was a. A song that was. I think it was Coolio that was playing Fantastic Voyage. Yeah. So it's going. And one of guy goes, oh, this jam's awesome. Tried to hire him for my wedding. Almost pulled it off too. But then he died. Like, that'll do it. That'll slow it down. Down. And then he breaks out his Pandora and one of the stations he's created is hip hop barbecue. And he's shaped just like Brady. So I'm like, oh, I got to get out of this. And he's like, what? And I'm like, this conversation I know is going to end up more boring than anything. It's either going to be about routes to work, food, or weather. And you guys are. Your MBAs, you're dressed like MBAs, your converse. You laugh at dumb stuff. And I started joking and then I made a very. Like, I went into a character and I'm Like, a lot of people like to whisper the. The word Traeger around here. And that's the smoker I used to have. But I've graduated onto another thing. Joking that their conversation was this boring. And then there's a lull, and the guy goes, I don't have a Traeger anymore. He started. He literally took that and followed through with more barbecue. He was very serious. When you joked about barbecue, about correcting you, I'm like, dude, I didn't. I didn't do that, too. And also, you wouldn't slow and low. The way you said. I'm like hypothetical. Making fun of exactly what you're doing. You're Rick from Progressive. Now paused again. Last barbecue, we didn't even have brisket. I'm like, will you stop your. You can't have. Have. You don't know how conversations work anymore. Drink for Jan. Yeah, you are lost in suburbia. But he was very funny about it. And then when you talk about barbecue, we'd get. Jordan and I were. We were on the floor. We were dying. This guy would, like. We'd joke about how boring conversations about barbecue are. And then he'd be like, well, if you get the right smoker, though, I have a. And any. And then five minutes later, he breaks out a picture. This is a smoker. And it was some. It looked like an old. Like, it looked like an old mill from the 1800s. It was this big, giant box with a tube on top of the smokestack. And I started laughing. I'm like, no one, And I mean no one on this planet finds this conversation interesting.

[B]

You're.

[D]

You're new. You just got here. We don't know you, and you're talking about this. This is. You got to stop.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Wait until you have my brisket.

[D]

I don't want it. Because if it comes from. With this. It was hilarious. He was very nice, though. We had a good time last night. All right, prize, if you want that. Prize Z. That's how you get on that and put it in the promo code. Meanwhile, get us a wake up song. 585 9800. A good one to start this day off strong. It's 98k, but wake up. It's not weird.

[C]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[D]

I have heard enough of this. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness, and it's time to talk about FanDuel. It's NBA tip off week, and Fanduel is your home for live betting. Fanduel is giving new customers $300 in bonus bets if your first five dollar bet wins. So just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to sign up today and play your game with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA 21 plus and present in Arizona. First online real money wager only $5 first deposit required. Bonus issued is non withdrawable bonus Fetch, which expires seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. C [e-mail] gambling problem call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342 feed a family, make a kid happy and win a new car. It's the 25th anniversary of Operation Santa Claus, presented by Sanders and Ford, Sanders and Lincoln, U haul and ABC15. Make a donation of food, new toys, child size clothing or money and you could win a new Ford F150 truck or Lincoln Corsair SUV. For more info go to givetothecloth.com Lincoln and ABC15.