11-12-25 - John Learns What Jelking Is And Tries It - Entertainment Drill - WED - Scott Hamilton Putting Together 70s/80s Super Group For Cancer Fundraiser

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD)

Episode: 11-12-25 – John Learns What Jelking Is And Tries It – Entertainment Drill – Scott Hamilton’s 70s/80s Super Group for Cancer Fundraiser
Date: November 12, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively installment of Arizona’s irreverent ‘Holmberg’s Morning Sickness,’ John Holmberg, along with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, take listeners through a raucous blend of banter, pop culture news, and offbeat personal stories. The key themes today run from bizarre men’s health fads (hello, ‘jelking’) to the juxtaposition of wild pasts and new religious fervor, celebrity feuds, and the unveiling of a classic rock super group for charity. All the while, the show maintains its tongue-in-cheek, provocative style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. “Jelking”: John’s Hilarious Introduction and Painful Experiment (01:19–05:18)

• What is Jelking?
  John shares his morning internet rabbit hole: jelking—a purported method to increase penis size by manually stretching and tearing tissue. He cheekily describes the act as “kind of treat[ing] your penis like...one of those things that puts frosting on a cake. Squeeze from the bottom, work your way to the top, the cone.” (02:12)
• Online Algorithms:
  John jokes that one click led to his news feeds now being filled with jelking content:
  “You can’t give me jelking again, but I’ll let you know how it’s going. Cause right now it just hurts.” (03:18, John)
• Comparisons with Penis Pumps:
  John recaps past mishaps with a penis pump for a “joke” that—temporarily—worked:
  “The thing was massive. When I popped that glass tube off...it was as big as the tube. It was crazy...the recovery wasn’t any fun at all, but it worked for the day.” (04:28, John)
• No Plans for Sharing Pics:
  He jests,
  “I’m not going to post pictures or anything, but if it starts flopping around a little harder, my pants start feeling funny, I’ll let you know.” (03:45, John)

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2. Entertainment Drill: From Papal Movie Tastes to Celebrity Life Swaps and Feuds (07:49–15:19)

Pope Leo’s Favorite Movies (07:49–08:27)

• A running gag—what films would ‘Pope Leo’ enjoy? John bets on Chicago-centric classics, but the real list is wholesome (e.g., “It’s a Wonderful Life”).
  “I would imagine Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Uncle Buck, Brewster’s Millions...” (07:55, John)

Jenna Jameson’s Pivot to Christianity (08:57–10:54)

• The hosts marvel at the adult film star’s spiritual trajectory:
  • Converted to Judaism in 2015, now proclaims Christianity.
  • John’s take:
    “Now she’s a pious jerk who tells you that everything she made her name on was bad and you shouldn’t do anything fun.” (09:11, John)
  • Satirical reflection on people who regret their wild pasts:
    “Don’t do anything I did. I’m like, what you did? Sounds awesome...oh, we were doing coke off of Bubbles the monkey...Now it’s so much better with Jesus. You don’t seem as happy.” (10:03, John)

Euphoria Stars' Political Rift (10:57–11:42)

• Reporting on a rumored falling out between Zendaya and Sydney Sweeney due to political differences: “Sydney’s a righty, isn’t she?...Zendaya’s the other way...she was outed as a registered Republican.” (11:11, John and Brady)
  • John opines on the immaturity of dropping friendships over differing views:
    “If you can’t be grown up enough to talk to somebody like that, you’re a jerk.” (11:42, John)

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3. Scott Hamilton’s Cancer Fundraiser: The 70s/80s ‘Super Group’ (12:10–13:56)

• Event Overview:
  Figure skating legend Scott Hamilton is assembling members from Journey, REO Speedwagon, Loverboy, Kansas, and Chicago on Nov 23 for a cancer fundraiser.
• Skepticism & Rock Antics:
  John is wary:
  “They’re not showing up. Members of those members...I fell for this once before...a member of each band and none of them had ever played together before. They got through half of Suffragette City when they realized we don’t know any songs.” (12:39–13:13, John)
• Performer Details:
  Mike Reno of Loverboy to appear with his wife; John Elephante formerly of Kansas will do a solo set.

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4. Celebrity Recovery and the ‘Holier Than Thou’ Syndrome (13:59–14:49)

• Liam Gallagher credits his reunion tour for saving his life, citing newfound sobriety.
  • John’s recurring issue with reformed hard-livers scolding others:
    “I’m not saying it’s good. I just don’t like these people that turn their lives around and then tell everybody else how wrong they are for taking that path. I know it’s not a good path. Everybody who does it knows.” (14:21, John)

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5. Honoring Joe Walsh: Blunt, Classic Sickness Observations (14:49–15:48)

• Wichita renaming a street for the Eagles’ Joe Walsh.
• John’s playful suggestion:
  “Just calling Joe Walsh Way Rocky Mountain Way. They wouldn’t do that in Wichita.” (14:49, John)
• Good-natured riffing on Joe’s appearance:
  “He looks like if Bill Maher was trying to become Joe Walsh...his tongue doesn’t work.” (15:04, John)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Jelking:
  “You basically kind of treat your penis like one of those things that puts frosting on a cake.”
  —John Holmberg (02:12)

• Algorithm Self-Deprecation:
  “You can’t give me jelking again, but I’ll let you know how it’s going. Cause right now it just hurts.”
  —John Holmberg (03:18)

• On Religious Conversions:
  “Whoever’s dicking her, she believes in his way.”
  —John Holmberg, re: Jenna Jameson (09:31)

• Celebrity Sobriety Shaming:
  “I just don’t like these people that turn their lives around and then tell everybody else how wrong they are for taking that path.”
  —John Holmberg (14:21)

• On Celebrity Super Groups:
  “They got through half of Suffragette City when they realized we don’t know any songs.”
  —John Holmberg (13:12)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Jelking Riffing & Experiments: 01:19–05:18
• Entertainment Drill (Kickoff): 07:49
• Jenna Jameson’s Conversion: 08:57–10:54
• Zendaya/Sweeney Feud: 10:57–11:42
• Scott Hamilton’s Super Group: 12:10–13:56
• Liam Gallagher’s Sobriety: 13:59–14:49
• Joe Walsh Honored: 14:49–15:48

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Tone & Style

The tone is unapologetically loose, irreverent, and quick-witted, as hosts mock themselves, celebrities, and “polite society” in equal measure. Listeners are treated not only to pop culture news but also to the unique lens of the ‘Morning Sickness’ perspective—brassy, unfiltered, and always entertaining.

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Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[B]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[C]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[D]

He's evil.

[C]

Sitting right here.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

No, no, he's not.

[C]

He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. There you go. I like that one. Limp Bizkit. John Gordon, sitting across there, wonders if Limp BizKit is using AI to write their songs now because they're back. It's an interesting point. Ban just kind of show up again after toiling around with nothing, and then they're like, hey, that's pretty good. Where'd that come from? And making love to Morgan Wallen is something that I would put in an AI thing and go write a song about this Limp Bizkit style. And it would do it. And only Limp Bizkit would be like, we're gonna sing it. We're gonna do it. John makes a great point. It's all collapsing. God damn it. Watching Pluribus screwed me up. I can't do this. To myself, everything's an algorithm. Everything's all messed up. And I'm getting an algorithm about Jelking. Do you know about Jelking? I looked into it one time.

[E]

I do not.

[C]

All right, one time, I looked at this. Jelking, J, E, L, Q, I, N, G. And Jelqing is where you basically kind of treat your penis like one of those things that puts frosting on a cake. Squeeze from the bottom, work your way to the top, the cone. And there's a penis influencer that's real. He's on Instagram, and he's introduced Jelking to people and showed the results that he grew, like, an inch by Jelking. So you grip kind of hard on the bottom and then work your way up. And so by doing that, you tear the fibers of any sort of. You stretch them out, the meat. But basically, it's. You know, your penis is an organ. It's not a muscle. So they're like, this can't work because you're still micro tearing the fibers around it. And they'll come back bigger and stronger, just like anything else in your body if you rip it and rebuild it. So it's basically this. It's Jelqing. So I looked at it once this morning. I had, like, nine different articles on Yahoo and my news feeds about Jelking. I'm like, all right, I clicked on this once. You can't give me Jelking again, but I'll let you know how it's going. Cause right now it just hurts.

[E]

Well, it's like. I guess it's similar to the guys that would hang weights.

[C]

Oh, sure. That makes sense, though, that you're just tugging it down to the earth. But this thing is supposed to, like, tear the fire, and then it comes back a little bit more like. It's like dick Peptides your hand. You're like, oh, And I'm trying. I am. Look, I read it, and I'm like, I wonder if that's. And it just flat out hurts. I'm not going to lie to you. You take the base and you give it a good squeeze, and you kind of start to move it. Yeah, it's. We walk away like you just got Reiki'd in a bad spot. But I'll let you know. I'm not going to post pictures or anything, but if it starts flopping around a little harder, my pants start feeling funny. I'll let you.

[E]

Which was worse, joking or the penis pump?

[C]

Penis pump was really bad for a minute because I. Something happened to the air release. So I was trapped and I had to manage to get my finger in there to make the air come out. Because if that air release doesn't work, you're just. It's just.

[E]

Isn't that like cutting it off air joking in a way?

[C]

No, because it's one solid unit of. It's. I mean, it's a similar process of swelling it and breaking it. And you do. Look, I've used the penis enlarger for a joke. And then I walked away going, that was no joke, at least for the day. The thing was massive. When I was. When I popped that glass tube off of there, it was as big as the tube. It was crazy. And then a few days later, he was, like, sitting there panting with his hands on his knees. What'd you do that for? Like, it was. It was. The recovery wasn't any fun at all, but it worked for the day anyway. I digress. It's 9:54. We'll have an entertainment drill in just a little bit. We'll explain joking as the time ticks by. We'll wait over the holiday break, though. Forget it. I'm going to come back a beast up.

[D]

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[C]

Holmberg's morning sickness. All right, let's go. It's time for the entertainment drill and we can run. A guy says, john, you're so emotional about. Of course it's an emotional thing. Brett's dad was, you know, healthy as a horse a couple months ago. It's very, very tough time. So it is an emotional time. People feeling bad. Don't feel bad about me. I'm. I'm okay. And again, if you want to send a nice message to Brett B. Vesely. V E S V E S E L Y. There you go. That's right. V E S E L Y. And you can email him and say something nice. A lot of you are, he's very appreciative. It's 1001. It's time for the entertainment drill and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] that's the home of tactical black self defense training. Their 25th anniversary is coming up. I've been telling you about their deal. 89 bucks for one month of training. You look at their schedule and said, I'm going to do that one and that one and that one and that one. You'll get your money's worth. Four. Sure. Let's say you do three classes a week for four weeks of the month. That's 12 classes. I'm pretty sure you can do the math on that faster than I can. But that is cheap right there. That is inexpensive. If you just did three classes. If you did more than that, you're getting into like five and four dollars a class. Come on, get all over this thing and you guys will be thrilled with what you get. You get results pretty fast. You're going to get mental results right away. You'll hop on this thing immediately and it is a crawl, walk, run. The people in the classes aren't there to show you show you up. They're there to help you up. And you are becoming a sheepdog along with them. The more of those we have, the less wolves have a chance because there are less sheep for them to attack. Don't be a victim. Learn how you are actually presenting yourself as one and not even realizing you're doing it. They'll show you that right away. Reactdefense.com that's the home tactical black Brady. Entertain me.

[E]

Little FYI, I know you're wondering what Pope Leo's four favorite movies are.

[C]

I would imagine Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Uncle Buck, Brewster's Millions, and let's see, Eight Men Out.

[E]

Okay, not bad. It's a omen one through three.

[C]

He likes the almond, that does Rosemary's Baby. No, I went Chicago centric.

[E]

It's a Wonderful Life, the Sound of Music, Ordinary People and Life is Beautiful. That's the latest one in 1997.

[C]

The other life is Beautiful is a phenomenal movie. I don't know why people think It's a Wonderful Life as I've expressed that to you. It's about. I know, paranoid schizophrenic bipolar man tried.

[E]

To ruin it for my mom.

[C]

It isn't tried to ruin it. It just tried to show her what she was actually watching. Watching a delusional schizophrenic who has.

[E]

It's basically telling her what it was.

[C]

Yeah, Delusion, grandeur. Who believes that if he wasn't alive the world would be worse off, which is what they put you in nut houses for.

[E]

The other religious story is Jenna Jameson now is a Christian. Oh, and her, she's gone from the adult film career to now being sharing Jesus.

[C]

Now she's a pious jerk who tells you that everything that she made her name and was bad and you shouldn't do anything fun.

[E]

But that is most recent because in 2015 she converted to Judaism.

[C]

Oh, she was a Jew.

[E]

She was in a relationship with an Israeli businessman, Lior bitten.

[C]

So whoever's dicking her, she believes in his way. She's dating a Catholic or a Christian.

[E]

Yeah, I don't know if she's in a, you know, relationship. The only one, it could be just with Jesus Christ.

[C]

Maybe Jesus Jesus finally got her. Yeah, well everybody was going to get her eventually.

[E]

She did go through, you know, addiction with her battle with alcohol, drugs.

[C]

She's been through a lot. I have a family member that loved everything about their drug induced party in ways and I mean had what seems to be the time of her life. Studio 54. The 80s were a blur. The 70s were even blurrier. When she talks about it, it's like, oh, one time I was dancing with Brooke Shields and Michael Jackson. It was just this crazy night. God bless. Don't do anything. I did. I'm like, what you did? Sounds awesome. What were you doing? Oh, we were doing coke off of Bubbles the monkey. I'm like, ha ha ha. Don't try that. It's horrible. Like what? Your life sounded great. It used to be. Now it's so much better with Jesus. You don't seem as happy. You don't tell the stories of your like last weekend like you do the days of Studio 54. Like, she beams. Lights up. Oh, listen to this great tale I have of when I was a bad person. And they're like, what'd you do last weekend? We went to church and hung out at some picnic. Doesn't sound half as fun as what you were doing.

[E]

Picnic, you said.

[C]

Yeah, well, that maybe that's why you.

[E]

Like Zendaya and Sydney Sweeney or became fast friends on the set of Euphoria. But that honeymoon period looks like it's over. They hate each other, evidently over political differences.

[C]

Sydney's a righty, isn't she? She's coming out kind of heavy Trump, I think.

[E]

Kind of. And Zendaya is the other way. But after the American Eagle jeans ad, she was outed as A registered Republican, and a few months ago, attendees of her mother's 60th birthday party were wearing red hats and blue Live Matter shirts. So a source said they can't be friends. I is refusing to do the press for the new. The latest season of euphoria now with.

[C]

Not with her. Not with her and her views that aren't exactly in line with what yours are. And both of them, if you can't be grown up enough to talk to somebody like that, you're a jerk. By the way, William has just emailed, says do Gene Simmons turning Jenna Jameson into a Jew. What's wrong with you people? This is exactly how that would sound, though, if you were interested. Hello, I'm Gene Simmons from kiss. And you're a Jew now. Oh, no, you're not. Oh, you're a Jew now. Oh, I've taken it out. You've got Jew in you now. You don't.

[E]

Figure skating legend Scott Hamilton is putting a party together on November 23rd. It's a benefit cancer fundraiser.

[C]

He's been through it a couple times.

[E]

And only he could reunite a 70s and 80s super group. You ready for this? Members of Journey, REO Speedwagon. Lover boy.

[C]

Wait, he's building a super group?

[E]

Kansas, Chicago, all these bands that night.

[C]

But they're not showing up. Members of those members.

[E]

Right?

[C]

Yeah, those bands are not going to be there. I fell for this once before, you.

[E]

Know, Kevin Cronin, Big Boys.

[C]

You get some good ones, I'm sure some names in there. But don't fall for this because they don't know any songs. Ricky Rackman told me I was going to go see Rat, Faster, Pussycat, Cinderella, and someone else over at after the gold rush for $9. And it was going to charity. Well, it was a member of each band and none of them had ever played together before. They got through half of Suffragette City when they realized we don't know any songs.

[E]

Evidently they're gonna do, you know, an All Star Jam and then some will play separately. Like Mike Reno from Lover Boy is performing with his wife, Catherine St. Germain. And there's so many new members of Chicago.

[C]

I'd rather go to church with Jenna Jameson.

[E]

But John Elephante, formerly of Kansas, he's doing some solo.

[C]

Did he start the restaurant over there at Fashion Square? Elephante?

[E]

Might be.

[C]

I don't think so.

[E]

I. I think. Let me confirm it.

[C]

I don't know. Just.

[E]

No, he did not.

[C]

Ceiling tiles. Suggest. Ask again later.

[E]

That's my Gemini. The ceiling tiles.

[C]

Yeah, it's pretty good stuff.

[E]

Liam Gallagher from Oasis says the reunion tour saved his life. Because there's about time that I sorted my thoughts, the bad thoughts, and got my head clear. Sure, I stopped drinking, smoking, and snorting, and they were sacrifices that needed to be done, but you had a lot.

[C]

Of fun going into it. I'm not saying it's good. I'm just saying I don't like these people that turn their lives around and then tell everybody else how wrong they are for taking that path. I know it's not a good path. Everybody who does it knows.

[E]

And I'm sure that's gonna go over really well with their gigs in South America. Stop doing cocaine. They might not make it out of there. Finally, Joe Walsh is having a street renamed in his honor. His hometown of Wichita, Kansas.

[C]

Joe Walsh Boulevard. Fast Lane Joe Walsh Way. I'm just calling Joe Walsh Way Rocky Mountain Way. They wouldn't do that in Wichita. Well, he deserves it. He's done so much. He's hard to watch. He looks like if Bill Maher was a. It was a trying to become Joe Walsh. Like he looks like a guy in makeup being Joe Walsh. And his tongue doesn't work. It's hard to watch Joe Walsh. Have you seen that John when his. When he talks?

[E]

Because he had a. He had a list.

[C]

Tongue sticks out kind of originally. Yeah, he's got a little speech thing, but it hangs in the middle of his mouth. It's kind of gross. Anyway, still can name a street after him. And I'm glad that Jenna and Jesus are together. I've been waiting for that one. I'm gonna Google search that on pornhub later today. I bet you AI will build that for Jenna Finds Christ. Oh. Oh, I am gonna do that.

[E]

Joe Walsh Street. It's. What's with your mouth?

[C]

Yeah, a dangling tongue. Boulevard Larry's coming up next. He's got himself the glorious, excellent adventure money. It's sitting in your hands. He and Valley Toyota dealers are trying to give you three grand. He'll tell you how, just moments as we continue to buy your love for ratings. You gotta do something this Christmas. Music's about to start, and that kicks our ass every year. It's nonsense, but Larry will help you. Money will fix that. Larry's gonna try to give it to you. In the meantime, you guys have yourselves a hell of a Wednesday, and we'll see you tomorrow right here on the morning sickness. Hello. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[E]

No membership fee.

[C]

I have heard enough of this.