11-14-25- Was The Shatner Fall In Slow Motion For John And Shatner Broke News That New Epstein Files Rumor Is That Trump Blew Bill Clinton

Summary

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Episode Overview

Theme:
A surreal and darkly humorous look behind the scenes of a night with William Shatner, culminating in a wild series of conversations about celebrity falls, aging, and the hilariously unverified rumor that, per the newly released Epstein files, Donald Trump performed oral sex on Bill Clinton. Holmberg and the crew riff on generational divides, male pride in aging, media-driven divisiveness, and the outlandishness of modern public life — all in trademark irreverent, no-holds-barred HMS style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. William Shatner's (Almost) Catastrophic Fall

• Holmberg recounts helping 94-year-old William Shatner after he stumbled and fell at an event.
  • The fall is compared to a slow-motion, cinematic disaster ("like watching those Las Vegas casinos get imploded" - Frank, 02:23).
  • Holmberg reflects on the awkwardness of helping a famous elderly person vs. a family member, citing his own experiences with elderly friends pushing against limitations ("The more you tell a man you can't do this, the more he's going to do it..." - John, 04:28).
  • The dilemma of performing first aid on someone so old — would CPR help or hurt? ("You'll turn them into mummy dust..." - John, 06:20).

“It was like watching those Las Vegas casinos get imploded. Now it’s almost beautiful.”
— Frank (02:23)

“If it was your grandma, if it was your grandpa, you would have more immediacy to touch, grab, do whatever… I was an interloper.”
— John (03:54)

2. Shatner's Attention Span & Absurd Phone Habits

• Shatner is described as completely enraptured by his phone, tuning out mid-conversation, leaving others to joke about what you can get away with saying when he's not listening.
  • ("When he’s on the phone, he’s not… Oh, he’s not here. We can talk about anything we want." - Frank, 07:15)
• Leads directly to Shatner stumbling on a wild tabloid headline.

“He’s also addicted to his phone....when he’s on the phone, he’s not here. We can talk about anything we want.”
— Frank (07:15)

3. The Outrageous “Epstein Files” Rumor - Trump & Clinton

• Shatner, totally deadpan, claims to have just read that ‘Donald Trump blew Bill Clinton’ in the latest Epstein files.
  • The crew launches into riotous, improvised impressions of Trump and Clinton in compromising situations — and riff on the comedic and political implications if such a thing were true.
  • They jokingly analyze the potential impact on history, the media, and the Hall of Presidents animatronics.

“I think I read something just now that says Donald Trump blew Bill Clinton.”
— Shatner (as recounted by John, 07:48)

• Multiple satirical skits imagine Trump and Clinton’s ‘secret affair,’ replete with phone sex, tie-gifting, Bill Clinton’s infamous blue dress, and Vladimir Putin as keeper of ‘compromising photos’.
  • Notable impression lines:
    • “This is a great party, Bill.” — Frank as Trump (12:46)
    • “I want you to blow me right now.” — Frank as Clinton (08:34)
    • “Maga: Make America Gag Again.” — Frank (24:32)

4. Media, Politics, and the Art of War

• John unpacks the idea that modern media is designed to pit everyone against each other, politicians included.
  • Cynicism toward all sides: “I honestly think the news and the media is designed to make us fight. The politicians are all in on it together.” (17:20)

5. Hall of Presidents Conspiracy Theory

• A Disney insider story suggests Trump’s animatronic in the Hall of Presidents was originally Hillary Clinton in disguise, due to expectations she’d win the 2016 election.
  • “If you look very closely, the face of Donald Trump’s animatronic is Hillary Clinton. They wigged it and made it up.” (16:18)
  • Crew jokes about updating the animatronics if salacious rumors were true.

6. On Aging, Caregiving, and Male Ego

• Holmberg reflects on helping aging male friends, noting generational pride and the peculiar frustrations of watching elders attempt risky behavior to prove themselves.

7. CBD/THC Gummies, Food Mishaps & Surreal Conversation

• Shatner interjects at one point that “they’re banning gummies” mid-conversation, throwing everyone for a loop — another example of the night’s randomness (21:41).
  • John complains about ordering an inedible, fishy-smelling Thai basil dish, which becomes another surreal detail in the night.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the unreality of the night:

  “Does it feel like a weird dream? Doesn’t seem right. All strange. And if it’s Trump blew Clinton, that just takes last night and throws it in the trash and says hey Holmberg, Earth’s calling. Hold his beer.”
  — John (23:14)

• On wishing wild stories were true:

  “I’m not political enough to be upset… How much better the world would be if Trump blew Clinton? That would be awesome.”
  — John (25:37)

• On media and rumors:

  “Every time there’s a kickoff, we have a holding penalty… He’s got pictures of the Rooneys blowing each other. That’s what I think was the thing. But extortion?”
  — John (11:55)

• Regarding the viral potential of a Trump-Clinton photo:

  “I want to see Sean Hannity react to it. I want to see Rachel Maddow react to it. I want to see the after effects of one photograph that’s real of Clinton and Trump having oral sex. I do.”
  — John (29:40)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|---------| | 01:23 | Introduction of Shatner's fall, slow-motion disaster imagery | | 04:17 | Conversation about helping elderly friends and male pride | | 06:20 | Humor about CPR on elderly people (“mummy dust”) | | 07:12 | Shatner addicted to phone, misses conversation | | 07:48 | Shatner claims he’s read that “Trump blew Clinton” in Epstein files | | 08:19 | Crew’s first Trump/Clinton erotic improv | | 10:04 | John’s musings on the surrealness of witnessing Shatner’s fall | | 11:33 | Jokes about Epstein files, Russian kompromat, and Steelers extortion | | 12:46 | Improv: Clinton and Trump banter at an Epstein party | | 16:01 | Hall of Presidents animatronic story (Trump’s face was Hillary’s) | | 17:20 | John’s media critique: the divisiveness of cable news | | 21:41 | Shatner suddenly declares “they’re banning gummies” | | 22:21 | Thai basil/food mishap story | | 24:32 | “Maga—Make America Gag Again” and parodies of political phone sex | | 27:03 | Satire about Putin, kompromat, and nuclear war over blackmail | | 29:40 | John fantasizes about media reactions to an actual Trump/Clinton photo | | 32:45 | Listener jokes about “Presidential Daisy Chain” as a band name | | 34:15 | Song requests inspired by the day’s weirdness (“Falling to Pieces” for Shatner) | | 36:12 | Musings about Disney Hall of Presidents memories |

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Show’s Language, Tone & Atmosphere

• Irreverent, off-the-cuff, wildly inappropriate humor
• No sacred cows: politics, aging, celebrity, and pop culture are all fair game
• Incisive social commentary wrapped in dark absurdism
• Frequent impersonations and improvisational skit work
• Self-aware: the hosts openly acknowledge and parody the surrealness and unreliability of modern news, plus their own compulsion for mining everything for humor

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Summary Takeaway

This episode of HMS is a perfect storm of irreverence: a real-life brush-with-disaster (the Shatner fall) leading straight into unhinged, R-rated political improv inspired by a deeply dubious pop-culture rumor. The crew push boundaries with impressions and scenarios that lampoon the political and media landscape—while also reflecting on aging, caregiving, and the absurd ways news, fame, and rumor define American life in 2025. As ever, nothing is too outrageous for the HMS brand of morning radio.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not.

[Frank]

He's not evil. He's just a bit rude.

[John Holmberg]

98 the eve of PT for miles to nowhere. Thank you Katie and the Hobbs, your rain of glory for the Palladio championship of last year. Closing in on the lame duck month that we will have for you as you will be replaced by someone new. Milestone. We're not in this year's play deal. So that theme song only has four weeks left. How about that?

[Ethan]

40 bands this year.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. Hopefully we can get one good people emailing me about my William Shatner night. Calendo and I are texting back and forth already. And by the way, thanks to Rob Churchill who has recreated Frank and me helping William Shatner up off the ground through Grok. So it is pretty good. Like it's me and I. Me and I. Frank with William Shatner face down on the ground and we're trying to pick him up and it's. It's a nice reenactment. So it's a Rescue 911 reenactment Frank said it best. He said it was like watching those Las Vegas casinos get imploded. Now it's almost a beautiful. Like the crumb collapsing. Oh yeah. Alex says, man, John, besides Lincoln, had Shatner not rallied, you would have witnessed the second most famous theater death of all time. You'd be a TMZ millionaire. Life would have changed forever. John Holmberg Wilkes Booth. I didn't kill him. This one said, I watched my grandmother take a fall a few years ago, seemingly in slow motion. Was your fall in slow motion? It took forever from the start of the stumble to the actual smack on the concrete. Somehow no one around could get to her. Did his fall feel like it was in slow motion as well? I'm telling you, he. There were three warnings before or I should have just, I mean, hindsight, obviously, I should have just grabbed him and said, oh, stop. The, the stumble out of the elevator was jello legged and I thought he was fooling around.

[Ethan]

I thought that's how you get assault charges.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. And then the next thing you know is like, look, get your hands off me.

[Guest or Caller]

Who is this guy?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I was goofing around.

[Guest or Caller]

I was playing old man joke.

[John Holmberg]

And yeah. So I kind of, I had my hands up, like, should I grab? Should I. He's fine. And then down he went. And it was, it was like a look, I, I was Frank and I talked about. He's like, hey, save the story for when I can be there. And I'm like, I can't. Like, it's all I'm thinking about. I'm reliving that tumble over and over and over. It's so weird. And again, if it's your. Like I told Brady, if it was your grandma, if it was your grandpa, you would have more immediacy to touch, grab, do whatever. Like, okay, we got to take care of everybody. Hands off. I was an interloper.

[Ethan]

I was just definitely one minute to go or whatever. I'm, you know, if it was my dad or something that fell down, like, all right. Are you sure? Well, no, like, you know, I'm always.

[John Holmberg]

A big believer in man being a man.

[Ethan]

Yeah, but you want to you. I mean, natural instinct right off the bat. Oh, most people, it was like you'd pick that person up to get them out of the way.

[John Holmberg]

Not 94. And that's the thing. Like, I had my, my, my old people friends Paula and Fred and Fred passed away a few years ago, but when he was 90, he wanted to barbecue. He's in the backyard. He's like, Damn it, I'm going to barbecue. And I remember Megan and Paula were there going, we can't. He can't be around that. And I'm like, he's fine. The more you tell a man you can't do this, the more he's going to do it. They tell him he can do it. Like, yeah, Fred, you can barbecue, you're fine. And I would be the one. And he's like, yeah. And then he'd flex a little and then you'd see him kind of go, but maybe I can't. So the more you tell him I believe in you, the more he recognizes his limitations. But when he hears constantly, especially his wife going, you can't do that anymore. You are not healthy enough. You are not good at that. Any man, any age is going to go to hell with you. Watch this. So we're at Fred's house one night and he's like, I'm doing the steaks. And oh, John, go watch him, Please go help Fred. He said, never. And I go out and I'm like, you doing all right, buddy? Like, I'm fine. I'm like, they're making me come out and check on you now and again. Don't. But I, I know you're good. And he goes, I appreciate it. They were good. And like. So if you need anything, just go, hey, John, help. And I'll come out and we won't tell him anything else. You got it? So I go back inside. Is he okay? He's doing great. Steaks look good. And then you just hear he's bringing the stakes back in. And he ate all over the backyard, steaks everywhere. And I'm like, God damn it. They were right. Should have never let him work the grill. But yeah, so when it was, when it was last night, when it's him, it's like he wants to go. Somebody said, what if he'd have gone, I can't breathe.

[Guest or Caller]

I did mouth to mouth.

[John Holmberg]

Would I have done it? I don't know. What am I, a huru?

[Ethan]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

You think so?

[Ethan]

Well, first of all, if he could speak.

[John Holmberg]

He can't. He can breathe, but he's like, I think he's choking to death. Or he's going full Shatner. I don't know what's happening.

[Ethan]

Compressions for sure.

[John Holmberg]

I've been told by doctors not to give 94 year old CPR. You'll turn them into mummy dust. You're not supposed to push on their bones like that.

[Ethan]

I've heard.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't do it.

[Ethan]

I've heard the opposite. That compress away. I mean like if you got a.

[John Holmberg]

Fractured rib, are you doing that? I'm not doing that. I am not pushing on a sternum of a 94 year old man haphazardly. That's for an EMT. Well, you'll break them in half. Not doing it.

[Ethan]

Yeah, I'm not pushing like where I think I can break the rules.

[John Holmberg]

How do you know they're made of mummy dust?

[Ethan]

I guess there's one way to find out.

[John Holmberg]

Blow them up and the next thing you know and all their spirit leaves and they're just a pile of sand. But yeah, it happened. And oddly enough, 20 minutes earlier than that, we're all talking backstage and he.

[Guest or Caller]

Goes, oh my God.

[John Holmberg]

And he's also addicted to his phone. William Shatner will, right in the middle of talking to you, he'll just pick up his phone and he's gone. And you can say, Frank and I are sitting there with Ethan, we're talking and Shatner's totally interested. And then he's on his phone and Frank was in the middle of telling him something and he just went away and he was, he asked him a question and he's gone in the phone like a child. And Frank looks over at the producer, Ethan, he goes, when he's on the phone, he's not. Oh, he's not here. We can talk about anything we want. He is not here right now. It's like we can say anything is. Yep.

[Guest or Caller]

And then he goes, oh my God.

[John Holmberg]

What is it?

[Guest or Caller]

I think I read something just now that says Donald Trump blew Bill Clinton.

[John Holmberg]

What? What page are you on?

[Guest or Caller]

The Epstein files. They're out. That Donald Trump has ever. It says here he's blown Bubba. Bubba's Clinton, right? Like, yeah, I haven't read anywhere past that, but can you imagine?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're making me do it now. So we had a nice long conversation about what it would. And then he enjoyed the impression of Frank and I doing Clinton and Trump in oral sex.

[Frank]

That's fantastic.

[John Holmberg]

Let's do that on stage. No, he'll be the Trump, you'll be.

[Guest or Caller]

The Clinton and the two of you will engage in oral copulation. Do it again.

[Frank]

That was fun.

[Guest or Caller]

I want you to blow me right now.

[Frank]

Not gonna do it. Very busy. Although you do like the blowjobs.

[Guest or Caller]

This is entertainment.

[John Holmberg]

This is exactly why I'm doing the show.

[Ethan]

And as you're doing it, halfway through, he goes back to the phone again.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. He's like, that wasn't as good as the first one.

[Frank]

Now do this. Bill Cosby.

[John Holmberg]

So we started to come up with the idea of putting him in movies he doesn't belong in, like William Shatner and Raging Bull, where just. He's the Joe Pesci character. He's just standing there in his Kirk outfit. I thought you did. You. My wife.

[Guest or Caller]

Who are you?

[Frank]

Why are you.

[Guest or Caller]

Why would I ever have even imagined such a. Answer the question. Did you.

[John Holmberg]

My wife?

[Guest or Caller]

Where do you get the balls to ask me that?

[John Holmberg]

This is dinner.

[Guest or Caller]

It's not working.

[Ethan]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. It's not working. I don't want. What is he doing?

[Frank]

I don't understand the question.

[Guest or Caller]

What do you mean?

[Frank]

Did I.

[Guest or Caller]

Of course I did. I mean, she was a beautiful lady.

[Ethan]

That'd be great to have those auditions.

[John Holmberg]

Like big stars. Yeah. Anyway, so it was. That was the night and it was fun. So, yeah, there were a lot of Rescue 911 jokes and everything else, but it was crazy. And I just, I, you know, I wonder what, like, you know, in an alternate universe, if he. If. If there was a medical emergency, how, like, would I do the TMZ thing? Would I go on with. I want to be Frank. The good news is I had a real celebrity there that I would be like, you're doing all the TV stuff for this. I'm not going and doing this. Like, he'd be.

[Ethan]

They'd probably push you aside and, let's talk to Frank.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. That's why I would love every second of that. And Frank would probably go, no, we're doing this together. I'm like, I'll sit next to you, but I'm gonna look like your lawyer. I ain't peeping. I ain't saying a word. And then my brain's all like, well, what about lawsuits? And, you know, like, if you pick him up and break it. That's why I don't pick up 94 year olds. Like, if he fell and his ribs were broken and he's like, pick me up. And you pick him up and you make it worse. Didn't touch him. Everybody else just tugging on the old man's arms, getting him up. We got jackets. I had a hold of his vest a little bit to keep it going, and up he went. Anyway, sorry. I'm going on and on about it, but it is so in my brain, and my brain just keeps redoing it and redoing it and redoing it. And it's weird. It's such a. I mean, TJ Hooker, Captain Kirk dropping dead right in front of you for a few seconds. Your brains like, what's happening on Wednesday nights? I used to turn on ABC to watch TJ Hooker for Heather Locklear. And now the dude. And it is dead in front of me for a second night, and it's on me.

[Guest or Caller]

Your simulation is awesome.

[John Holmberg]

It's awesome.

[Guest or Caller]

Whatever.

[John Holmberg]

This is my AI. You can't beat that. It's crazy. And then, of course, my simulation was William Shatner talking to me about Trump and Clinton blowing each other. And I. And I wrote it down. I'm like, well, I'll talk about that on the show tomorrow if that's real. I just didn't assume that my night was gonna get weirder then. That was the weirdest part up to that point.

[Guest or Caller]

I believe I just read a story where Trump blows Clinton that's in the Epstein emails.

[John Holmberg]

And we're like, no, it's not.

[Guest or Caller]

Yes, it is.

[John Holmberg]

And he holds his phone up like, what algorithm are you on that you're getting those?

[Frank]

I just saw.

[Guest or Caller]

It just popped up. I mean, how do you. How do you not click on that? Epstein files, who's Bubba? And did Trump perform oral sex on Bubba? Who's got pictures? They said Putin has the photos and.

[John Holmberg]

That'S what it does. That came out in the Epstein files yesterday. Somebody, Jeffrey Epstein's brother actually, in one of the emails says, ask Putin if he's got pictures of Trump blowing Bubba. And we're all kind of like contemplating. Like, as weird as that Epstein thing is, you assume it's like, oh, my God. We say that all the time. It's like, okay, somebody's got pictures of that guy blowing somebody. That's why he's still there. We do it with the Steelers all the time because we got Danny Smith or our special teams coordinator, who's insane, and the gum chewing guy, and all the Steelers fans are kind of like, why is he so regarded? Like, every. Every time there's a kickoff, we have a holding penalty, there's always something. Why is he, like, the greatest special? He's got pictures of the Rooneys blowing each other. And that's what I think was the thing. But extortion?

[Guest or Caller]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But as strange as the whole Epstein thing is, we started rooting for that to be true.

[Frank]

Or if I get down on my knees. This is a great party, Bill.

[Guest or Caller]

It sure is, Donald. And all these girls are underage, so I'm half hard. But I also realize that I can't touch any of them. So let's blow each other.

[Frank]

That is A great idea. I've got to get down to my knees.

[Guest or Caller]

I'm going to blow you right now.

[John Holmberg]

In front of all the tweens.

[Guest or Caller]

Hit the floor.

[Frank]

Hit the floor.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna hit it hard. I'm gonna do this right and I'm gonna get it.

[Frank]

Look how good I am at it.

[John Holmberg]

I know you're good at it.

[Guest or Caller]

You've got those weird lips like a fish. Aha.

[John Holmberg]

You're nailing it.

[Guest or Caller]

Great work.

[Frank]

I'm trying as hard as I can. Glag, glag, Glug.

[John Holmberg]

Homburg's morning sickness.

[Frank]

Do you want me to put the blue dress on?

[Guest or Caller]

I love the idea of that too.

So we stained just for you.

[John Holmberg]

Up until that moment where he fell, that was the most surreal fake thing that I could have ever imagined again. I always think of my dad and I'm like, hey, dad, you know William Shatner's.

[Guest or Caller]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Last night, in a room with just three people, I, I, I pretended that Trump was giving Clinton oral sex to the satisfaction of Bill Shatner. And he was laughing hysterically. That's. That didn't happen. It did. That's my life. And then he died.

[Ethan]

It's one of those stories that no one will believe you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no one's going to buy that. It's called, yeah, seven o' clock word. Damn it. This stupid game. Deposit is the seven o' clock word. Thank you, Richard. Supposed to be the last day, but the computer broke on the second day of doing it, so we got to do another one on Monday to make.

[Guest or Caller]

It because stupid aws.

[John Holmberg]

Well, because the lawyers get all mad if you said you were going to do it for a certain amount of time and that's the amount of people you have to do it. So they get scared. So we got to, I think we should just give word after word after word all day away, but we're not doing it. 7am Deposit.

[Guest or Caller]

I think we should give Monday's words out today as well.

[Frank]

Well, it got specific.

[Ethan]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

So they have to do it seven, so that's fine. So get on top of that deposit and put it in the seven o' clock box. Maybe win yourself a thousand dollars. Here's. Somebody took pictures of the night last night. Said, great night last night, John. I had no idea. Yeah, well, it's a thing. But what if Trump blows Clinton? Does that change anything?

[Ethan]

As far as what?

[John Holmberg]

Everything.

[Guest or Caller]

In our world, the power dynamic is a little shifty.

[John Holmberg]

Does that make it so cnbc, MSNBC and Fox can look at each other and go, sorry, I guess we're all the same. If Trump blew Clinton at the time.

[Ethan]

Trump did it, he was a Democrat funding at the time and that converted him.

[Guest or Caller]

That would be Fox also, by the.

[John Holmberg]

Way, I found this out yesterday from one of the entertainers. There was a guy backstage who's in the business and he's worked at a lot of places and he said he's got friends at Disney. Here's another little tidbit I learned last night that's insane that in 2017, because I made the joke, I said, well, if Trump blew Clinton, that's gonna change the hall of Presidents at Disneyland in a huge way. Like we gotta make them do some animatronic stuff. Cuz that's. You can't ignore it. That's the elephant in the room. If it were to have turned out and probably didn't happen, so don't email me, probably didn't have, but if it did, let's say it did. That Trump once blew Bill Clinton. That's the world we're in now. You couldn't go to the hall of Presidents and have them stand up, Bill.

[Frank]

Clinton, number 45 and number 47, Donald Trump.

[John Holmberg]

And then you'd have to have them go like at least hold hands or something for the satisfaction of the audience. Because everyone at that moment would be like that one blew the other. The one in the blue tie blew that. The one in the red tide blew him. We'd all say it. So let's just make it happen. So we're making that joke and a guy says he's an Australian guy. I have a friend here who works at Disney and they were so convinced that the Hillary Clinton was going to win, they had already built the door and he said so they just kind of worked it out to be Trump. He said, so if you look very closely, the face of Donald Trump's animatronic is Hillary Clinton. And they wigged it and they made it up and it's basically goes. And you can't unsee at night. Once you see it, it is seen. Like, how about that? Now I want to go to the hall of President and maybe since that first 2017, they've redone and built a real one. But now I want to see that. But I kind of root for that kind of stuff now. Again, I'm here for the jokes. I don't believe politics is as angry at each other as they want us to be. They want us to be mad. It's the age old, you know, art of war. You basically divide and conquer and it's.

[Ethan]

Amazing when it's been released, too, that supposedly you're like that, right? There's been a lot of names mentioned and all this.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody knows anything. It's all. It's all this weird, gray stuff. But, yeah, I mean, I'm not here. I honestly think that the news and the media is designed to make us fight. The news and the media is in cahoots. The politicians are all in cahoots to make it seem like we all need to fight. And they're making backroom deals constantly. So I'm not really buying into any. That's why I kind of live in the middle of this thing. I'm like, I don't really want to get in bed with either side here. I don't think either of them are doing anything that different. And if it turns out they start blowing each other, that just proves my point. And I kind of. I kind of hope it happened. And I kind of hope there's more evidence that would be that now, if it is true. It kind of goes back on what Trump was doing a couple months ago, before it all was weird when he started to say during the campaign, we're going to release those files. I'm not worried about any of that. If you blew Bill Clinton and Epstein's house or on the island, the last thing you do is start even joking about releasing those files. Because deep down, you know, somebody said.

[Ethan]

There were any files left, right?

[John Holmberg]

I mean, and then you'd burn them, but whatever. You'd never once start in your campaign.

[Frank]

We're totally going to release those files. Nobody is going to be more transparent than me.

[John Holmberg]

If you blew Bill Clinton, you're not going to go cavalierly running about saying you'd make something up.

[Frank]

Some of the things that were discussed in those files, national security and can't.

[John Holmberg]

Be brought out, and then you get rid of everything as president. But he. But I don't. I don't think he blew him, but I hope he did. Deep down in my brain, I'm kind of like, that would be a pretty great for this show. I mean, come on. That's months of just Clinton just laying in bed thinking, the best blow job.

[Guest or Caller]

I ever had was Donald Trump. I don't know what to do about that.

[Frank]

He haunts my nights.

[Guest or Caller]

I loved having him in my mouth.

[Frank]

One of the greatest days ever.

[Guest or Caller]

Having him in my mouth was amazing.

I'm gonna call him. We don't agree politically, but that mouth.

[John Holmberg]

It'S like a crazy woman. She's the worst person ever. But, my God, in Bed. She's. She's fantastic. I keep going back to.

[Ethan]

They're gifting each other ties.

[Guest or Caller]

Yeah, I got you a tie.

[Frank]

It is very sweet, Bill. I appreciate that.

[Guest or Caller]

Do you want to come over?

[John Holmberg]

Sup? Midnight, the phone. Sup.

[Frank]

You up?

[John Holmberg]

I'm up.

[Frank]

What's going on?

[Guest or Caller]

I just wanted to say hi.

Ah, that's very sweet.

[Frank]

I appreciate the hello. That's very nice of you. Very nice. What are you doing?

[Guest or Caller]

I'm just laying in bed thinking about you.

Oh.

[Frank]

Oh. What are you thinking?

[Guest or Caller]

I'm thinking I can't get any harder.

[John Holmberg]

Than I am right now.

[Frank]

Prove it.

[John Holmberg]

Fix.

[Frank]

Or it's a lie.

[Guest or Caller]

Shannon Sharp sent me some real sparks.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good one.

[Frank]

Great picture. What an angle. I didn't think men got bigger as they aged.

[Guest or Caller]

I didn't either, but I think you do that to me. That's the biggest I've been since I was a teenage boy.

[Frank]

You're just like a teenage boy. You're insatiable. I would love to feel you in my mouth right now.

[John Holmberg]

I want this to be real so much. And Vladimir Putin's like, I have all of the pictures. He hacked the phone. That's what they want. That's why the Clintons and Trump were so mad at Russian interference. Those were the two that were losing their minds over. Because if it's true what Jeffrey Epstein's brother said, the Russians, like, they're mad at them all.

[Frank]

They're going to make everything up. Everything's going to be made up. If they say anything, it's all lies.

[John Holmberg]

I agree with them for the first time ever, it's all lies.

[Guest or Caller]

If the Russians say, oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

Let's just take for example, that we.

[Guest or Caller]

Did something dirty together, that's all lies. We all know that, right?

[Frank]

Exactly. Bill and I agree. Goddamn Russians. Interference, two minutes.

[John Holmberg]

So let's keep our fingers crossed that we live in a world where eventually that. Well, I mean, AI is going to make the picture. But it's again, how surreal. Does it get that I'm in a room with William Shatner?

[Guest or Caller]

I believe I just read something where Clinton got blown by Trump.

[John Holmberg]

Is this real? Can't be real. Is it real? And he holds his phone, and then Shatner's sitting there, he's talking, he goes, they're banning gummies. And that came out of left field. We're all just sitting there doing our thing.

[Guest or Caller]

They're banning gummies. Who? The government, Everybody.

[John Holmberg]

There's no more gummies.

[Guest or Caller]

I need my gummies.

[John Holmberg]

Like, you're on gummies. Well, yes.

[Guest or Caller]

The THC gummies are good ones.

[John Holmberg]

Make the real good ones.

[Guest or Caller]

Yeah. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Is that a great idea?

[Guest or Caller]

It helps with your eyesight.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right?

[Guest or Caller]

I don't do crazy amounts of drugs. No, just. It's good for pain.

[Ethan]

It is.

[Guest or Caller]

They're banning them.

[Frank]

I.

[John Holmberg]

What am I gonna do?

[Guest or Caller]

I have to start bail gummies.

UFC fighters are pushing for that because that's a big thing. Recovery, apparently.

[John Holmberg]

The CBD ones, for sure.

[Guest or Caller]

Is it banning CBD gummies? I need CBD gummies that. If it do anything to you.

[John Holmberg]

And there I am just eating Thai basil, which I've never had before and frankly, never will again. It was. Bill was right. When you open up that thing, it's like, whoa, somebody needs to clean the goldfish tank. What is that smell?

[Ethan]

That's a tough one to bring in. Let alone that you're not.

[John Holmberg]

Or there's.

[Ethan]

You gotta.

[John Holmberg]

It's horrible.

[Ethan]

Eat what they.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, we ordered it. They gave us a menu yesterday or day before and said, pick something. So I picked one, and it was just clams and shrimp and goldfish. I think koi. Oh, man. Opened it up and you're daring. You ever been in somebody's house and their fish tank's dirty?

[Guest or Caller]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That is exactly what the smell was when I opened the thing. And I'm like. And that's when Shatner goes, it smells.

[Guest or Caller]

Like a goldfish tank. What am I eating? I didn't order this. I would have never ordered this.

[John Holmberg]

And Ethan's like, you ordered that?

[Guest or Caller]

I don't believe I did. I need a burger, a steak.

[John Holmberg]

It was. Yeah, it was not good, But I won't eat that again. There I was just sitting there. It's the whole thing. Does. It feels like a weird dream? Doesn't seem right. All strange. And if it's Trump blew Clinton, that just takes last night and throws it in the trash and says, hey, Holmberg, Earth's calling. Hold his beer. But I would like that very much. I have to say, I'm not a. I'm not political enough to be upset if. If anybody. If anybody starts to blow. What's that? Yeah. The phone rings in the middle of the night.

[Guest or Caller]

Hello?

[Frank]

I can't quit you.

[Guest or Caller]

I can't quit you either. I don't know what's going on with us, Jack Twist.

[Frank]

I don't either. Let's go fishing together. I'll bring the tent, you bring the truck. I'll spit in the palm of my hand and we'll finish this deed.

[Ethan]

My large hand.

[Guest or Caller]

I think Putin's got satellites watching us do all our dirty.

[Frank]

It would be terrible if he did. And then all we have to do is go on TV and say, those damn Russians interfering again in our love. That's what people aren't getting.

[Guest or Caller]

I love you so much. You fill my mouth like nobody else I know.

[John Holmberg]

And you.

[Ethan]

I.

[Frank]

Maga make America gag again. I'm ready. I cannot wait.

[John Holmberg]

I'm on the phone.

[Frank]

Get back in.

[Guest or Caller]

I was in Brady's bullfrog portal. There's no better sound than you. Kind of choking, sounding half retarded.

[Frank]

I love that.

[Guest or Caller]

I love when that happens. I love every second of it.

[Frank]

You mean like this?

[Guest or Caller]

Oh, my God. All right, I gotta go. Hillary's coming.

[John Holmberg]

Hillary's coming.

[Frank]

That's a sentence no one's ever said before.

[Guest or Caller]

I love you so much. You're my favorite person alive. All right, I gotta go on TV and act like I hate you so no one's on to us.

[Frank]

I'll see you on Saturday.

[Guest or Caller]

Is Hillary Boo Radley in the corner.

[John Holmberg]

Just watching the terror the whole time?

[Guest or Caller]

I saw your new ballroom. Oh, did you? I want to see your ballroom from the inside.

[Frank]

Oh, I'll show you my ballroom.

[John Holmberg]

Will.

[Frank]

Will it fit your party?

[John Holmberg]

My big balls bouncing left and right.

[Guest or Caller]

Like the ACDC song. I see what you did. Almost wanting sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Upd Holmberg's morning sickness. I want it to be real. And the fact that it isn't, or the fact that I don't want to be friends with anybody who doesn't want that to be real. Let me just say that if you're like, oh, that's silly. I don't want. Oh, come on. How much better the world would be if Trump blew Clinton. That would be awesome.

[Frank]

That's ridiculous. And they have some sort of. What are you? Some sort of sick pig?

[John Holmberg]

Like, have you seen Earth? It's not me. Yeah, of course I want that to be real. My jaw would hit the ground. Bruce Jenner's a woman.

[Frank]

O.J.

[John Holmberg]

Simpson killed people, and Bill Cosby went to jail for drugging and raping. It's not me. This stuff happens.

[Guest or Caller]

John. Looking at pictures of Carter's funeral, it makes me. Makes a lot more sense. Why Trump, Obama and Clinton were all.

[John Holmberg]

Buddy, buddy, best friends.

[Guest or Caller]

I want to introduce you to somebody who's here right now.

[Frank]

All right. Who is it?

[Guest or Caller]

You're going to love this. Here's the phone. Hey, Donald. What's up?

[Frank]

Barack. Really?

[Guest or Caller]

Yeah, I'm here with Bill, and I don't know if you've met my wife, but he's not the only one in the White House who can handle a dick.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really?

[Guest or Caller]

Yeah. Big Mike's been training me, and I hear you've got a package.

[Frank]

I think we're about to have a lemon party. And one of the lemons is chocolate.

[John Holmberg]

Please make that a real thing. Please, Brady, pray to your God right now. Open it up. I don't know. How do you. How do you get him on the line? How do. Dear Brady's God, please, for crying out loud, let two politicians from my lifetime that are still alive have blown each other and the Russians have the photographs.

[Frank]

Please let this happen.

[John Holmberg]

I know it embarrasses the nation, but come on.

[Ethan]

Picture.

[John Holmberg]

Next war, guaranteed it would be civil. The Russians would giggle the whole. Do you think we'd attack him? Putin is like, I'm going to release the photos of you sucking on Bill Clinton.

[Frank]

If you do that, I'm going to nuke the whole place. I'm not letting that happen.

[John Holmberg]

No. Any better. Let me kill Ukrainians all, like, every day.

[Frank]

If I let you kill Ukrainians, will you give me everything you've got of me blowing Clinton?

[Guest or Caller]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it's pretty good leverage, you have to admit.

[Frank]

Oh, no. I'd use it against you.

[John Holmberg]

There's no question.

[Frank]

You're right.

[John Holmberg]

For a while there, we had you, like, with just women pissing in your face. That was a big deal. But this, I mean, come on.

[Guest or Caller]

Good times. Good times.

[Frank]

I remember that. That was a great day. And I would allow those photos. That makes me a man. But the second that Bill Clinton entered my skull, I have to say, that.

[John Holmberg]

Would be bad for me. Okay, so let me kill Ukrainians. Like, just get off my back.

[Frank]

We'll have a summit. Make me look good.

[Guest or Caller]

That power dynamic. So Trump was on his knees.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Guest or Caller]

Well, that was the first time.

[John Holmberg]

And then. And then the film hit Toledo hard. Then we did a swap a roo.

[Guest or Caller]

Men and women do 69. We did a big fat 11.

[John Holmberg]

Two straight lines, parallel lines intersecting like train tracks with our one and one.

[Guest or Caller]

And the other McDonald's wrappers strewn all over the floor.

[Frank]

We were jammed together like weird little Legos. My clicky went in his hole and his clicky went in mine. Lego presidents. That's what they call it.

[John Holmberg]

I want that to be real. And I don't know how much it's going to. I doubt it, but I do. I'm rooting for that. I'm not going to lie. I'm rooting for that. I'm living in A simulation that I can't explain. So if I can somehow wish this into the ether, I. I want to see Sean Hannity react to it. I want to see the people who are nuts on either side. I want to see Rachel Maddow react to it. I want to see how people spin that. I want to see the after effects of one photograph that's real of Clinton and Trump having oral sex. I do. I do. So much further than when you couldn't run for president because you had sex with a hot girl back in the 80s, remember when Gary Hart was going to be president and then he had sex with an incredible hot girl on a boat. He can't be president. We can't have these types of scandals. But now it's being bandied about that maybe a couple of presidents along the way blew each other. I don't see how. You know, a lot of evidence, but, yeah, it's out there.

[Guest or Caller]

I guess Clinton's pictures with Jennifer Flowers just weren't. Weren't as cool.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I guess not.

[Ethan]

And then, you know, he was kind of the first that. That after the Gary Hart thing that was able to maintain the Clinton.

[John Holmberg]

It was the very next election.

[Guest or Caller]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Gary Hart was 88, and in 92.

[Ethan]

Clinton's like a check to Paula.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Paula Jones.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Guest or Caller]

Watch this.

[John Holmberg]

Grand.

[Guest or Caller]

I'm gonna nail everybody, and I'm still gonna win.

[John Holmberg]

Gary Hart's a pussy. In fact, while I'm president, a billionaire mogul real estate in New York's gonna.

[Guest or Caller]

Blow me, and then he's gonna be president. This is all messed up.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody knows what's going on. You go back, history repeats itself. The ro. Those dudes are all blowing each other. The power dynamic. You know, Magic Johnson talked about how you get so powerful and so famous that regular sex bores you and you start getting into stuff you'd never imagine because it's so easy to get.

[Ethan]

So you just approve this corporate purchase, this big, you know, deal to make a building downtown or.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Well, I don't know if he's blowing people for deals. I think it just gets to the point where you just get so much juice that you're like, I can go anywhere I want. Sex is easy. One would be really difficult. I wonder if I could get Clinton to blow me.

[Guest or Caller]

I wondered the same thing because it's so easy. I go outside right now and go, come here. I want a blowjob, and I get one.

[John Holmberg]

Except for.

[Guest or Caller]

Unless it's Hillary, and I don't ask her that.

[John Holmberg]

J. Todd says Trump was a Democrat you know, back then. And then he switched to Republican. I guess Bill left a bad taste in his eyes.

[Ethan]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

That's a beautiful thing.

[Guest or Caller]

It's gross.

Anyway, Texas says you think Trump's on the horn on that. Red to Moscow. Hey, Pooty Put. Can you throw a couple more bombs out? Maybe start another war? I need a distraction.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, I've been sent a photo of the Hillary Trump. They've updated it.

[Guest or Caller]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

So that was the Hillary one and now it's the real one.

[Guest or Caller]

It looks like.

[John Holmberg]

It looks like they fixed it. That's the new.

[Guest or Caller]

Oh, wow.

[John Holmberg]

That's the new one.

[Guest or Caller]

The first one looks like the dude that they have on now doing Trump.

[John Holmberg]

This is Hillary. Look at it.

[Ethan]

Totally.

[John Holmberg]

There's nothing, nothing about that that looks like Donald Trump. Except for they do have the hair, but that is.

[Ethan]

It's trouble with Hillary's eyes.

[John Holmberg]

And then they rebuilt him. I believe he's standing in front of Rutherford B. Hayes. Anyway, seven o' clock word is deposit. If you want to throw that in there, it's pretty good. Kyle said, why stop at 2? Let's get ourselves a presidential daisy chain and have Putin release that one. You got Clinton, Trump, Obama, Big Mike. Just one massive daisy chain, by the way, presidential daisy chain. Pretty good band name.

[Guest or Caller]

Solid.

[John Holmberg]

That's a really good one, actually. Presidential daisy chain's pretty solid. Put Deposit in the seven o' clock square for your promo code and you'll get it together and maybe this crazy world we're living in will turn into what exactly we want it to. Toledo. We got the. The big Board of Musical Treats brought to you by Action Ride Shop. Get on over to Action Ride Shop. It's gonna snow this weekend. That's awesome. 75% chance of rain down here in November almost always means a little snow up north, which also means they're going to start producing fake snow. The ski season is here and Action Ride Shop's got you covered. They've got everything you'd ever want for skiing, snowboarding, and all the outdoor snowy stuff. And you can go rent it, you can buy it, you can do whatever you want. But just get there and get ready for the ski season that's coming up. That's north of the 60 on Gilbert. Or they have bikes like I've got Pivot makes an amazing snow bike. Big fat, like it's a Pivot less fat. If you can get a hold of. Josh can get you one. It rides in mud and snow and I've yet to take mine in snow, but it's taking a heavy sand and it cruises right through. Also a great climber. So many bikes for snow riding. So many bikes for trail riding. We've got great weather down here.

[Guest or Caller]

Every time you say snow bike, I think about those three wheels. Better off dead. No, the paper boy on that bike with skis.

[Ethan]

I mean that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's $3. I would love. Give me like $3. The. Yeah, I. I'm all in on those snow bikes. The snow ski bikes too. Those little sit down tribe that you can ski down hills. Josh can get you all that action. Ride shop's the place to go. So hop on it. They're over there on McDowell and Power and also just north of the 60 on Gilbert. Actionrideshop.com what do you got?

[Guest or Caller]

Rich Throat Goat. From what Impetus for the President Trump and Bill for the President.

[John Holmberg]

I like it.

[Guest or Caller]

All the small things for Trump Falling to pieces by faith. No more for the Shatner Tumble.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's a great song.

[Guest or Caller]

Turbo lover for Trump. And.

They'Re not gay.

They just dabbled because turbo's not gay. They're just turbo at the time.

You know, I need a flow job.

[John Holmberg]

You know what no one would believe.

[Frank]

Watch that Bill if you blew me.

[Guest or Caller]

And we could get away with it too.

I think you're right.

[John Holmberg]

No one would believe it.

[Frank]

You know what?

[Guest or Caller]

Let's try that out.

[Frank]

It's. I'm not gay. But it's too good. I want it. I like. It's too good a story to keep it in our back pocket. And it'll be our secret.

[Guest or Caller]

I'm gonna unzip my pants now and I think you should blow me.

[Frank]

I'm gonna blow you.

[Guest or Caller]

You're gonna blow me?

[John Holmberg]

I am gonna blow you.

[Frank]

I don't know where to start. Do I do hands first.

[John Holmberg]

I've got.

[Frank]

My hands are great big.

[Guest or Caller]

So am I. So they're gonna look small.

Couple others came in mud vein not falling for Shatner. 6:00am this is gonna hurt for the President.

[John Holmberg]

How about that? I like the falling to pieces as faith no more. We'll go with that one. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not living in a real world right now. That is weird though, looking at the pictures. Meghan said that to me. The pictures of Hillary Clinton, Trump. I mean they didn't. They built a Hillary Clinton. They were convinced that after the election they were going to have to put Hillary on that stage in the hall of Presidents. And damn it all if she lost. They revamped it. Didn't I I didn't.

[Ethan]

I've never heard a show, a comedy show with the hall of Presence. The guy was doing. I'll look it up.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Ethan]

I think this guy had a play, like with the hall of Presidents.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there used to be a thing I used to play.

[Ethan]

Spoof.

[John Holmberg]

I used to play all the time. When. Because in the Orlando one, it's all of them and they get up and introduce themselves.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And there used to be a thing on the Internet. I used to play it constantly. Of all of them said the wrong. Yeah, it was all, you know, Ruth of A B. Goose. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy Swift. Like nobody. None of them were real names and unknown. A guy stood up, was unknown and everybody claps like that was the President. We forgot and don't know.

[Guest or Caller]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

That was. That's the only one I know. But the hall of Presidents is pretty neat.

[Ethan]

And that's in Orlando. Is in.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they have it at Disney. Well, I don't know because I haven't been back for. I remember Disneyland was the one where Lincoln got up and talked to us when I was a kid. This was 1983. We went to Disneyland. 83 or 4. And you go to that thing for the first time. And the ladies and gentlemen, President Abraham Lincoln. And the curtain draws back and he's just sitting in that chair, false, gone seven years ago. And he starts doing the Gettysburg Address and then starts talking to us. And then he gets up. At the time, I couldn't believe what I was looking at. Like, is that a man? And it was fake.

[Frank]

And then.

[John Holmberg]

And then they did all of them at Disney World. I don't know if Disneyland now has all of them the way Disney World does, but at Disney Land, it was just Lincoln. So they probably have changed it since. But man, oh, man.

[Frank]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It was the coolest thing I've ever seen. And they've made it better since, so. But they made Hillary and then put a wig on it. Said, no one's close enough to know. We'll fix that later. All right. This is from my friend Bill Shatner. It's Faith no More. Falling to Pieces. It's a hell of a song, too. It's your Wake up song. The word for four more minutes at 7am is deposit. Stick that right there in the box at 7 o', clock, take it in the app, go to our app and make that happen. It's Faith no More, everybody. It's falling to pieces. It's 98 KUPD.

[Guest or Caller]

It's not weird.

[Ethan]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.