11-17-25 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

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Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show

Date: November 17, 2025
Episode: 11-17-25 – FULL SHOW – MONDAY

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Overview

This lively Monday morning episode brings back co-host Brett Vesely to the studio alongside John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, and Dick Toledo. The crew recaps a heavy sports weekend, dives into local Arizona stories, and riffs on everything from awkward celebrity rumors to the woes of Cardinals fandom, the onslaught of Valley mosquitos, and the morbidly creative plans for their own cremated remains. Trademarked by sharp humor and uncensored banter, the show delivers its signature blend of sports, pop culture, audience interaction, and irreverent commentary—all delivered with a uniquely “morning sickness” flavor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Brett’s Return & Morbid Humor

• Brett is welcomed back after a personal absence; the crew discusses the outpouring of support from listeners.
• Brett reflects on honoring his late father's wishes to “use his ashes to clean up oil in the garage”—a request filled with dark humor and family tradition.
  • “He’s always said that since I was in my 20s.” (41:09 – Brett Vesely)
• Listener emails about creative (sometimes bizarre) uses for cremated remains follow, setting up the theme of gallows humor.

2. Arizona Cardinals’ Miserable State & NFL Recap

• Holmberg launches into pointed commentary about the Arizona Cardinals’ ongoing failures—calling them merely “losers” vs. the “lovable losers” of other franchises like the Cubs or Browns.
  • “Cardinals aren’t lovable losers. They’re just losers. There’s a difference.” (33:54 – John Holmberg)
• Speculation on future coaching shakeups, Kyler Murray’s contract “anchor,” and mounting fan frustration.
• Extended venting by listeners, who email in about quitting their fandom and coping with decades of Cardinals futility.
• The hosts mock local stadium experiences and joke about offering suicide prevention resources to long-suffering fans.
• Touch on the state of other NFL teams; banter about coaches, playoff prospects, wagering disasters, Shador Sanders’ struggles, and creative rules for franchise accountability.
  • “If you don’t make the playoffs in five years as an owner, you are forced to sell the team. You must sell the team if you cannot turn it around.” (50:00 – John Holmberg)

3. Draymond Green vs. Fans: Insults and Sensitivities in the NBA

• Recap of the altercation between Warriors’ Draymond Green and a Pelicans fan who repeatedly called him “Angel Reese”—implying Draymond plays like a WNBA rebounder and sparking a discussion about gendered slurs in sports.
• John and the crew dissect the incident’s implications, recalling Tiger Woods’ similar ribbing with tampons and golf, and question shifting standards of what is considered offensive trash talk.
  • “Is this gonna become a thing? Because you can’t use being a woman as a slur, right?” (12:57 – John Holmberg)
  • “You don’t call me a woman. It’s the worst thing you could… I thought we were all supposed to be okay with that.” (15:13 – John Holmberg)

4. William Shatner Nearly Dies (Sort Of), and Other Surrealism

• John spins a surreal tale from the previous week about nearly “killing” William Shatner, who fainted backstage before a show and then miraculously rallied.
  • “He was dead about a minute and a half… and then he turns and says, ‘If I’m booked, I go on.’” (69:50 – John Holmberg)
• The show riffs on bizarre “what-if” scenarios—including the Epstein files, graphic rumors about political figures (Trump, Clinton), and the comedic social fallout if any were proven true.
• Hilarious exchanges about old pop-culture rumors (Rod Stewart, Richard Gere, Catherine the Great) and their place in lore.

5. The Arizona Mosquito Plague

• Animated complaints about a massive, “400%” increase of mosquitoes in the Valley, with John and Brett lamenting their status as prime targets, while Brady inexplicably remains unscathed.
  • “Who’s the wise ass who dropped mosquito eggs all over this city?” (88:47 – John Holmberg)
  • “My feet look like a hot girl at a bus stop. I’m covered in bumps.” (85:05 – John Holmberg)
• The discussion turns conspiratorial, with joking reference to “the Off conspiracy” and possible nefarious big-chemical involvement.
• Listener texts describe West Nile struggles and the randomness of who gets bit.

6. Listener Interaction: Quitting The Cardinals & Morbid Requests

• Flood of audience emails—Cardinals fans detail why they finally gave up.
  • “You ask why we’re Cards fans… That’s 36 years of misery just because one guy wrote on your clothes.” (34:55 – John Holmberg, reading listener email)
• Other listeners share creative memorial ideas: becoming shotgun ammo for hunting, or having the Cardinals carry their casket “so they can let me down one last time.”
  • “I would love to have the Cardinals at my funeral so they can let me down one last time.” (57:23 – Listener email, read by John Holmberg)

7. Local Events, Band Competitions, Comedy Guide

• Discussion of the upcoming “Palladio” local band contest and past winners, with the ongoing search for the next breakout Valley act.
• The segment spotlights Valley comedy shows and ticket info.

8. Brady Report: Weird News & Disturbing Fun Facts

• The "Brady Report" delivers bite-sized news:
  • First digital download (Aerosmith), first movie for download (10 Items or Less), Colorado Avalanche NHL trivia, China’s cement output.
  • AI “threat” in children’s toys (vague warnings, no helpful specifics).
  • Statistics on mosquito-borne illness (listener smitten with West Nile).
  • Amusing smuggler’s news: a man in Tijuana caught stuffing parakeets in his pants.
  • Morose stories: fatal race car accidents, hamburger swallowing gone wrong.

9. Entertaining Oddities: Brady-videos

• Grotesque and absurd: The morning’s video review features violence, eels being eaten alive, and a woman grating cheese off her gnarly foot into a masked man’s mouth.
• Hosts react in disgust; John notes, “Watching Asians eat has gotten me two times—one was that lady eating flies, and this one was the eel.” (117:08 – John Holmberg)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Cardinals Fandom:
  “If you’re a loser and you live in Cleveland, oh my God, it’s like a prison sentence.”
  (34:18 – John Holmberg)

• On Draymond/Angel Reese Heckler:
  “Calling a man a woman, is that… the most awful thing you can say to anything? Any man getting called a woman has a right to punch that man in the face.”
  (13:52 – John Holmberg)

• On Morbid Memorials:
  “I’d like to be maybe… that weird sawdust that janitors use for puke... Be the guy who you sprinkle on the carpet and absorb all that.”
  (43:48 – John Holmberg)

• On Political Rumor Absurdity:
  “But if he’s getting blown on Epstein Island by a dude, we’re gonna start caring… The jokes will be hilarious, and he’s gonna die from that.”
  (25:33 – John Holmberg)

• On Mosquito Conspiracy:
  “It's the Off conspiracy. It's my Alex Jones off conspiracy... Some of those mosquitoes are actually little robotic drones that get inside your body, start giving you homosexual thoughts and COVID.”
  (89:12 – John Holmberg)

• On Listener Eulogies:
  “Bring the Cardinals to my funeral so they can let me down one last time.”
  (57:23 – Listener email)

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Important Timestamps

• 02:40 – Brett’s return, Shatner story setup
• 03:29 – Cardinals breakdown; losing faith in the team
• 07:17 – Chiefs, NFL playoff forecast
• 11:32 – Draymond Green & “Angel Reese” fan controversy
• 33:54 – Cardinals fans: not “lovable losers,” audience empathy
• 41:09 – Brett discusses his father’s wishes for his ashes
• 49:18 – “Hate watching” Cardinals, discussing why fans still go
• 76:15 – Sports betting, humorous takes on franchise futility
• 85:05 – Mosquitoes: “My feet look like a hot girl at a bus stop”
• 117:08 – Brady-videos, “Watching Asians eat”
• 147:15 – Mountain Man Jay’s radio career interlude
• 152:13 – Paris Hilton’s “self-made” claim mocked
• 157:13 – “Time for the genius bar” – Apple product complaint

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Tone, Language & Show Style

• Format: Freewheeling, conversational—often fast-paced, raunchy, and self-aware; heavy on sarcasm and satire.
• Language: Candid with occasional explicit terms; uses listeners' real emails and anecdotes as springboards for humor and commentary.
• Atmosphere: “Boys’ club” humor, but aware of its own transgressions and limits; blends genuine empathy (for Brett’s loss, listeners’ struggles) with irreverent wit and pithy pop culture references.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode exemplifies why Holmberg’s Morning Sickness tops Valley radio: unvarnished, unscripted, fearless in its lampooning of sports, local gripes, national idiocies, and itself. Brett’s return grounds the show with real-life poignancy, while the crew’s roast of Cardinals fandom, eternal sports heartbreak, pests, and parade of weird news—topped with truly outrageous speculation about politicians—means no subject is safe. It’s talk radio that’s anything but background noise: deeply local, deeply weird, and always spiked with caustic laughter.

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Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Brady]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Brady]

Easy legalgunbuyer do and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and you hear me all the time talking about my friends at Lost our Home Pet Rescue. We do the pick of the litter and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] Every week I head over to Lost Our Home pet rescue, and I meet a brand new beautiful animal that needs a home. The work they do at Lost Our Home is unbelievable. Not just your average pet shelter, that is for sure. They help people in a lot of situations. I look them up online. Lost our home.org and check out everything we do at 98kupd.com in the pick of the litter sections. Morning sickness. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday, the Monday before Palladio. We'll get to that in a little bit. It's 5:45. There's the morning sickness. My name is John. Hi, there's Brady. And let's bring him back. Everybody. It's Brett Besley back in the roof. Welcome back.

[Brady]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Toledo's here too. Oh, no, no. Calm down.

[Brett Vesely]

So what's new, guys?

[John Holmberg]

The ying and the yang. Yeah, you've been this, that and the other. Yeah. Good to have Brett home. He's sitting here, the room is complete again and everybody's moving right along. And now I have to hate Brett all week because the Steelers and Bears play on Sunday and that's quite a thing. So screw you and your stupid Bears and welcome back all at the exact same time. Wonderful things happen. And just a. Brett missed. I nearly killed William Shatner. And Trump. Trump blew Clinton. I think that's what you missed last week. Just. I think he's all caught up. Am I wrong? Brady said allergies. Yeah, it's pretty. Pretty much all you. You had. You had missed a good week, man. Yeah, sounds like it. Yeah, we'll get into that. I'll recap the shattering off there for you. But I told the story on Friday that nearly killed him and I've spent the entire weekend waiting for the news to break that he is no longer with us. And it's.

[Brady]

He didn't finish the tour.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but he did. The old prick went through Anaheim and I guess he's up in Napa Valley now or just finished last night. It's crazy, but I did my best to nearly kill him. I now know what it looks like to see William Shatner dead in person. I didn't think I'd ever have that in my bingo card, but there it was. Yeah, let's talk about a little football first to start. And again, I've told you for three weeks, Cardinal fans, you'll email me again on a Monday telling me I'm an idiot. But I'm telling you guys, it's never too late to jump off this sinking ship. It is just a disaster to Try to be a fan of that. It's never going to get better. And I'm telling. I also told you that you would see Slovis as your quarterback. And I'm thinking maybe in a week or two. Slovis is going to be your quarterback. In a week. I thought it would be the end of this game last, but I thought we'd be this one. I was a week off. It'll be next week when they start to see that again. What a tough sled it is to get on board as a Cardinal fan and trek all the way out there and sit in those seats and spend that money and stare at that product and say, what am I doing?

[Brady]

See a record?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Guy completed like a thousand passes. Unbelievable. It doesn't matter. A week before Brock Purdy or Mac Jones was 33 of 39 and they lost. What do you have? 44, 47, 47. 47 completed passes. It's insanity. And he's got trounced. We were at my house. My buddy Joe is there, Jose is there. The Steelers game had just ended. We're kind of just talking, you know, recapping the Steelers game. I don't know if you noticed, Brady, but the Bengals were stomped into the earth yesterday by the Steelers.

[Brady]

I did a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Did you watch a little of that?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And so we're talking and I turned and I looked up at the TV and saw the Cardinals game was. There were nine or is it 12 minutes or something like that left in the game. We're like this game's three minutes old and it's 13 to nothing. How did that happen? They did that last week. Like they're going to get trounced at home. And sure enough, that's exactly what happened. Just peppered.

[Brett Vesely]

Is this the end again? I mean, you think, oh, it's got.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, you got to fire. Yeah, you can't. Again, the. Yeah. Three years, no playoffs. And then you go. Nobody goes into a fourth. No coach goes into a fourth year with no like growth that way. Injuries or otherwise. It just doesn't matter. Start the rotation and then you lose the team to start dropping 40 points a game. You know, it's not going to. Yeah, it's start. Yeah. Keep the rotation. It's just non stop. Yeah, I think that's it. I would say if they bring it back, they wouldn't be stupid to do it, but they've got to bring back an entirely different roster. And then if you do that, you need. You got to have four or five different. Different coaching years that you've got to give this guy to say, all right, you've got a brand new roster. So it's like Gannon wasn't here. He can't do it. So he's got to go. Fresh start roster and coaches and some lucky team will end up with Gannon because that guy's pretty good. So Cardinals fans. I know, I know. But it's not going to be good. You don't. It's got to hurt quite a bit.

[Brady]

A little anchor, some weight to get rid of too with Kyler Murray.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brady]

What do you do on that?

[John Holmberg]

You know, you pay him and you suck it up for another year. Yeah, it's brutal. And I don't know next week if you and I will have our Aaron Rodgers back to Chicago matchup because he busted his hand. I saw that might be Mason Rudolph going in with the Steelers. And that's true. That's good. Well, you can be happy with that. You get tired of Aaron Rodgers. But I mean, as a Bears fan watching, I would like to come back and love to have him and just say you're not doing it again and have them get just, just trounced. But yeah, we'll see. We'll see what happens. Brady, your season's over, so it doesn't really matter. We're not going to talk about you. Enjoy your college football.

[Brady]

The Chiefs.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Looks like the Chiefs are sitting out, which I think everybody's kind of happy with. But again, if they sneak into the playoffs, they're the most dangerous team in the playoffs. Especially if they get to be like getting in, they're going to have to go like 5 and 2 or 6 and 1 just to have a sniff at it.

[Brady]

And anyone that could do it, I.

[John Holmberg]

Don'T want them in there because that would mean that they're hot going in and there they are. No, no thanks Goodell.

[Brett Vesely]

Make sure they get in. It's not a big.

[John Holmberg]

It feels like that's something that could happen. It's all mixed up. The more every football pool I'm in, the less I realize I know about this year in football. I don't. I would have never picked the Chargers to get stomped out by the Jags yesterday. In fact, I didn't. All my football pools are like, I'm. I'm not good at it. In the beginning of the year I was great. And now it's as the season as they have more evidence of who they are. I'm getting worse.

[Brady]

We did on our co pick.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, what we did. We did okay.

[Brady]

Moist boys.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're all right with the Jags. Did we go to the Jet? Well, we took the points. Yeah. Who knew that they'd win it outright by 29, let alone you gave some. They got points, if I'm not mistaken for that. It's crazy. So I don't know much of much anymore about it. I just like watching the games and trying to figure stuff out. But again, this guy says I went to the Cardinal game. It was terrible. Only good thing about the game is I got to meet some of the guys from shy. Wait a minute. Gabriel. The dudes from shy were there.

[Brady]

Who?

[John Holmberg]

What is he? What is Jared Kiso and the boys doing up there?

[Brady]

Probably just a couple of Canadians he thought could be. Yeah, they were wearing shirts.

[John Holmberg]

Give your horn a tog. Get off my back. What's wrong with you?

[Brady]

I think it's the guys.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they call you a T fer because that's the only way I know for sure it was the dudes from Shoresy. Was it Handsome Lad? I mean, who was it? Who is there? Gabriel, help. That's worth going. I mean, if you're going to meet some celebrities in the crowd. Sure. Anything to distract you from the crap in the middle of the field. Garbage. Also, that's something that's going on that may drive me away from sports forever and ever and ever. I never liked college basketball for two reasons. It's somebody else's kids playing for free. I don't go to Little League games. And then also that band, toodling band that won't stop honking out sloopy non stop during a game. It's the worst. It's tradition. Yeah, some traditions need to die and that's one of them. Nobody likes marching bands. Sittings. You're called a marching band. And the reason people like that is because you march away. You leave the room, you go somewhere. I don't like marching bands sitting down. That's a sitting band. And a sitting band better be pretty good. Well, they honk and toot and honk and toot. I was watching. I don't even remember who was playing, flipping around on espn. It was late and they were rerunning some college game and the team scored 67 points. And when they hit their 67th points, the place went crazy. Six, seven. Six, seven. Oh, yeah, they lost. No, this is something.

[Brady]

They're doing it now in restaurants.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

[Brady]

Order numbers.

[John Holmberg]

Order number six. They've been doing that like five guys. There's that viral meme that's gone out for A few weeks that this 6, 7 thing has gotten annoyingly big. Oh, but the basketball game and the band started tootling and making all sorts of noise and the fans were doing the nut juggle thing, which actually I kind of thought was funny at first when they. I don't know why that's the same part of the.

[Brady]

Yeah, I don't know that. Who started that? My football player?

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter who started it. Doesn't matter. They all need to be just reprimanded completely. But it's got to go away eventually. And again, parents, it's up to you to make 6, 7 uncool by making it cool, please. And then the GR. I went to the Suns game last night, too. It was a hell of a game. I don't know how it happened. Suns were down 20, then they were up 20, then it was tied. Every time I turned around like this, they're. They tied it. It was. There was a 20 point lead. We left basically to go hang out. When it was a 20 point lead, we're like, yeah, we'll just hang out in the RAHA room. We'll just. Me and my buddy Jordan, or we'll just sit and chat it out at the thing, watch the end of this clunker. We got down there and it was tied again. I'm like, I don't know. It was 97, 77. We get down there and it's 105 to 104. I'm like, huh?

[Brady]

Three fest.

[John Holmberg]

We took. We took a walk and then Atlanta won the damn game. But while we were on our way down, we saw what had happened in the awesome moment with Draymond Green and the New Orleans Pelicans fan, where the Pelicans fan was teasing Draymond Green a little bit about being Angel Reese, and he made a couple Angel Reese references saying, you're nothing but a rebounder. Basically, you're Angel Reese. Nice. Nice job, Angel. And he kept doing it. Well, Draymond, who is known for mouthing off, for getting in the ears of players, for chirping all game long, didn't like it and wandered over to the fan in the crowd and just barked at him and said, that's it. You can't quit calling me a woman. He's like, what? Angel Reese, the best rebounder. I don't think what Draymond expected was when he got to the dude who was chirping that he would be the shorter of the two people, the fan was as big as Draymond was, and he's like, damn, let's go. He just stood there and looked at him. All right, you wanna. You wanna go? And he was very. He's like, look, it was a little intimidating. Have Draymond Green. They interviewed him later. A little intimidating. Have Draymond Green come over and. But, you know, Draymond said it was a great quote too, because. And this is a dude. I mean, he's known for his mouth, but he says it was a good joke at first. Draymond says this, but you can't keep calling me a woman. I got four kids and one on the way. You can't keep calling me a woman. He got quiet, though, so it was fine. Now, is this going to become a thing? Because you can't use being a woman as a slur. Right? Like, if I like girl. Yeah, yeah. That's a yeah. But if you just start. See. Yeah. Is this a thing now that can get people in big trouble? Like, you call somebody gay. You know, what's wrong with being gay? Or the R word? The argument is like, ah, pretcher and retard. Like, well, why is that? You can't do that. Oh, you got the video of it. Yeah, yeah. This is great. Steph Curry, the pigeon. They're trying to be. They're trying to you. But right here, he's actually the guy on the ball. That's a big man. You don't want to see this. Yeah, he went over to the crowd and started mouthing off to a guy, and then security's fat asses start rolling over.

[Brady]

I would love to sit here and say, I agree with you, Joe, but sometimes there has to be a line.

[John Holmberg]

That be crossed either. And calling a man a woman, is that lies? That is the most awful thing you can say to anything. Any man getting called a woman has a right to punch that man in the face. Eventually, they're going to have to build barriers around the basketball court. That's pretty soft right there.

[Brady]

Second one.

[John Holmberg]

Hockey or what? I mean, yeah, man. Like some glass thing, some partition to keep it. So that booting them up. No, he just talked to him, said, could you keep it down? There are rules if you've ever sat on the floor. They say, no cussing, no pictures. You know, a lot of times they'll, you know, I'll be experiencing that. Friday, you're going on there sitting down front. Are you behind the benches? That's even more rules.

[Brady]

No, a buddy of mine that I did something for says, hey, I just want to say thank you. And he's like, that's nice.

[John Holmberg]

You get some seats down low. That's awesome. The. They do tell you, though, just sitting there. I sat behind the sun's bench. Like, no cameras. Know this. You can take pictures before the game, but if a huddle's going on, you'll get removed for this, this, this, and this. Don't talk to the players. Don't talk to anybody that you see that. Just don't. And it's like, okay. And some people do, some people don't. You're sitting behind the sun's bench. You're not going to get a lot of barking. But they're. They're soft. They'll turn on you. And you got to remember they're like 24 years old. They're not exactly. All the brains haven't. They're still mushy up top.

[Brett Vesely]

So you got to keep your phone in your pocket and stuff like that. When you're sitting, you're in the fishbowl.

[Brady]

It's really not the most comfortable.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't. You can't. You're not supposed to. You can have your phone out, right? But you can't like to go taking photos. They'll just. They'll ask you to go, oh, and there's no cussing, which is ironic because that's all that's going on on that bench and on the floors. Like, you're not allowed to, as a fan, cuss. And it's fine. It's fine. But they can like crazy and at you if. If they don't like. Like you say something about their game, they can turn on you and ask you to be removed. It's like, they're very soft. Very soft. But that was kind of cool. And Draymond went over and was. The dude was as big as him. And then the security sat out. He stayed. And then Draymond later said, oh, it's all right. He got. He got quiet, so things were cool. But you don't call me a woman. It's the worst thing you could. I thought in this day and age that that was like, we're all supposed to be okay with that. And I. I also thought that NBA players loved the WNBA and to be compared to one of their highest rebounders would be a compliment, but evidently it's not. It's just really insulting to be called a WNBA player when you're in the NBA. And I say hahaha to that. It makes me happy that the whole.

[Brady]

Thing is that that particular one would get him.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, it's pretty good one. When you look, you don't want to be compared to anybody in the wnba. That's rude. They're horrible at basketball. He's worked really hard to not be.

[Brady]

I know, but that would be the least of my. I mean, like, you know, you're not necessarily.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, but until. Until you are on his. In his shoes. Pretty. You don't know what it's like to be compared to a woman. It's a man's worst nightmare. Evidently, the dude must. I want to know what the jokes were to get him that way, because that had to. Yeah. There had to be some other thing in him. Yeah. If it's a funny joke at first, nice job, Angel. But I think that's what it was. It was the Daryl. Eventually, he snapped.

[Brady]

Good.

[John Holmberg]

Good rebound there, Angel. And the better part was it was in New Orleans, the home of Angel Reese. She went to lsu.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like, they love her down there. And still she's used as a punchline for real basketball. Oh, it's fantastic.

[Brett Vesely]

That fan's gonna be on a talk show.

[John Holmberg]

So we're gonna be at team door. Good, good. Victorious one liners called. Yeah.

[Brady]

I don't know the Runway.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know what the jokes were. It could have been that one Brady. That wouldn't have made anybody mad. Lingerie, your thongs in your ass. Something along those lines. You can't really cuss, but my God, I just found it to be like, oh, no, there's gonna be the W word. You can't compare a woman. Yeah. Because R word. You can't say your R word. Because it's like, why is it that's bad? It's like. And the homo F word. We used to call each other that constantly. And people were like, well, why is that a bad thing? Why would that be a despair. Why would he be upset if you called him out? I'm like, have you seen what those guys do to each other? Of course he'd be upset. If you're not interested in that activity, that's a huge insult to be compared to that. Just a bad word. But now to compare a man to a woman, I mean, it could be a slur. At this point, people are going to start losing their jobs. The Godfather. There's a great line in the Godfather. Stand in my office, sitting here, crying like a woman. You throw like a girl. All these things we do as men that make us feel good at all. You're nice. And golf. Nice shot, Nancy. When a guy misses, you know, duffs one or hits it a few yards.

[Brady]

Or if your wife's name Tiger woods.

[John Holmberg]

Was notorious for out driving you and then giving you a tampon. He would reach into his pocket and hand you a tampon on, you know, friendly games. He would do it in in PGA events. I forget who the guy.

[Brady]

Other players.

[John Holmberg]

Jones. Yeah. He'd say a nice drive and he'd hand you a tampon like you dick. Tiger. Why? Because you hit like a woman. John Holmberg's Morning Sickness the 98 KUPD hey, it's Larry McFeely. And if you live in Arizona, you already know this state was built for Toyota. Whether you're chasing the sunrise up in Sedona, cruising through downtown Phoenix, or my favorite, camping in the forest, there's a Toyota that fits your kind of adventure. The Tacoma and Tundra are rugged and reliable for desert trails. The Camry is smooth, efficient and perfect for your daily drive. And the 4Runner is Arizona's off road legend. Wherever the Arizona road takes you, make sure you're driving a Toyota. Visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com toyota let's go places. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about FanDuel. It's NBA tip off week, and FanDuel is your home for live betting. FanDuel is giving new customers $300 in bonus bets if your first $5 bet wins. So just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to sign up today and play your game with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the N21 plus in present in Arizona. First online real money wager only $5 first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus Fetch, which expires seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text NEXT STEP to 53342, Homeburg's morning sickness. If some soft player like Draymond Green is out there and Tiger hands him a a tampon and he tells the press and that Tiger's got to explain why he said hitting like a woman is a bad thing for a man. It is. You punch like a girl is the last thing a guy punching wants to hear. Women can punch.

[Brady]

Now he's got a garage full of maxi pads. From the other player. From the other players.

[John Holmberg]

He's got loads of them because he's way behind now. But you know what? In his day, he started that. Yeah. You can't imagine anybody else. You can sit and say, yeah, now he's 50 so he doesn't hit it as far. Well, good. He got his.

[Brady]

The tradition continues.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Six o'. Clock. The word. The final day of giving you guys a chance to win Money is today. VIP is the 6 o' clock code word. This is a goof day, Brett. We had a day disappear so we had to redo it.

[Brett Vesely]

This thing's empty.

[John Holmberg]

There's one more. Well, there's the big book we had Toledo have to look them up. VIP is the 6am word. That's not really a word. VIP. Throw it in there and make it a thing. And that's something. There it is. You got them all. So you can do it. One more day of this silliness. We'll do it. Six, seven, eight and nine. I'll tell you a word you can pop into the glorious Take it in the app promo and we'll be done with the guys in the suits and they're incredibly colorless and meaningless contest that we can now finish up and make the bombs go out. It was a real success with every one of our stations. Creativity means doing the same thing in multiple places. That's what they would say who didn't have an option. Although I do like giving money away. So I will give them that shake of the hands to the Bob's terrible contest. But it does work because money's involved. VIP for 6am and type it in like a man. Don't be some broad typing with their big old nails messing it up with VOP and things like that. Come on, keep it together. Brad. It's good to have you back. All the well wishes. All the well wishes came in and we didn't have anybody giggling at all at things last week that normally got giggled at. Which is, you know, I think at one point Brady so many words said. Yeah.

[Brady]

Every time they're like, it's just weird.

[John Holmberg]

Brady brought up beans like a hundred times. No one laughed. There was a thing about guys digging like literal diggers. No one. That didn't happen. So it's good to have your incredibly annoying laugh back when we're trying to explain what normal things are. Also last week we. We were at the end of the week under the impression that there was a chance that Trump had blown Bill Clinton on Epstein island. And now Trump has gone full 180. He must have read all of it. I look pretty good here. Go ahead. And he released. They're gonna release the Epstein things if it isn't for hired another hundred attorneys. Get on and something's going on to now it's like Just go. Which is what he said he wanted to do in the first place. And Clinton's in there, and Clinton's responding to it. And they're going to. To me, for him to release these says that he's got somebody that's going to look really bad who's a Democrat in this mix. They found something on Clinton or, I don't know, Obama or something. Yeah, there's going to be something. They're like, oh, I'll take the punches, get it out there. Let them explain themselves, too, because I'm tired of this. Something has to come out of this or just all for nothing. It's like Geraldo's vault.

[Brady]

I think if. If it's on Clinton, I don't think that does much damage, really.

[John Holmberg]

I think we know Clinton likes getting blown. Yeah. And again, they're probably like that.

[Brady]

Let's hope that's it.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Clinton would just be personally embarrassed. Yeah. Only because legacy is. Yeah. He has to go away completely if he's in another blowjob scandal. We gave you one good one, and you kind of rode that out.

[Brady]

He's gotten out of all of them but one.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he got well financially. He's paid a lot of people. But the. The BJ one with Monica, it was uncomfortable. Nobody had ever really gone through that before, but I think he came out with flying colors. Pardon the pun. I should. I'll say that another. He got out of that pretty. I'm not gonna say Scott clean either. He, you know, we don't care. We don't care.

[Larry McFeely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

At this point ended up we don't care. So. But if he's getting blown on Epstein island by a dude, we're gonna start caring. And that's what I think. And the only way Trump releases that is of Clinton's.

[Brady]

It was a D. That wasn't Trump.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But Trump might have, like, I cooked it. I watched it. Like, that's even better. And again, I'm here for the joke. So I want that to be even truer than I did Friday when William Shatner told me there's a chance that that was real. I want it to be more true that Trump was in the room. Well, there was a mouthful of Clinton and some fella on Epstein island that. That I will pray to Brady's God for all day long. It was. That's the world we live in. That's the possibility of that. So if Clinton gets a boy job. Yeah. I think all of us are going to be like, all right, all right, all right. Let's the jokes will be hilarious, and he's going to die from that. There's no way Bill Clinton gets exposed.

[Brett Vesely]

Kill himself.

[John Holmberg]

No, but it's hard to stop. He's too old to have. You can't be that old and have gay blowjob stories, you know, come out. It's not a.

[Brady]

There goes all the bridges, huh?

[Brett Vesely]

Or she's going to kill.

[John Holmberg]

Hillary will definitely kill him. But, I mean, there's. You can't. I mean, I'm 53, and if I had hidden boy jobs in my past and I was trying to desperately to hide them, and I'd done a pretty good job for, oh, these many years, and then Brett finds a video of me getting a boy job and releases the damn thing. My heart would stress, Brady, you couldn't take it if you had a day with a boy and you'd not. Oh, yeah, that was years ago. No, you died. You've denied it the whole time. And then we got to watch you getting a serious boy job. It's gonna. Your heart's gonna stop. He's in his 70s. Mid, mid late 70s. Bill Clinton can't have this happen. I mean, we all would. I give him a break. I've seen his wife. Oh, yeah, I'd rather. I'd rather be. I'd rather. I'd completely rather be a homosexual than I would get on that.

[Brett Vesely]

You should call Obama and ask him about that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Obama's gonna be ones like, once the report come out, because more than likely, like, Michelle was getting a boy job, too, from him. Right. Oh, my God. You just made me picture it. So it's all fun in games until two dudes start blowing each other and tape and then try to hide it. I think it's great. I liked it better when William Shatner made me act it out for him. I think that's the highlight of my life. I didn't know that that was gonna happen. Besides the no birth of my first child, that was the best day of my life. And I still. It's gonna vacillate between not having kids. That's the best day of my life. And having William Shatner tell me to pretend to be Trump and Clinton blowing each other. And that just made me happy. I just. It's a. It's a good day. But our president is going to release those, and that means that something horrible is in that for someone else. Because if it's him, he'll get rid of it. If it's someone else, he'll gladly spotlight it. And I have a feeling it's going to be weird and I'm hoping it's going to be weird. I don't even care if it's sexual. Like I would like. I would rather have it be like Clinton and Obama doing coke off of a. Off of a wiener or something. I think that would be even better that that's in there somewhere. That then there's some photo of it. I don't want any of the sex traffic people to be involved. I want those two to have just played touch tips together. Any of them. If maybe a triad like, you know, Trump gets in there and lays his hog across. So they just had a contest to who has the biggest one and Michelle wins it. I don't care. I just want something silly.

[Brady]

There's a party room where that all goes down. It's like an orgy where all the.

[John Holmberg]

Presidents have wieners out.

[Brady]

There's gatherings after dinner and you wonder.

[John Holmberg]

You know, history repeats itself. That's very Roman.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That used to happen all the time in the. You know, the Roman dudes would go Greek and stuff on each other and that was kind of accepted back then, I guess.

[Brady]

And you would. You'd hear it every now and then. Whether it's the professional magic dancing parties.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Diddy parties.

[John Holmberg]

That kind of power. Yeah. He started to kind of dabble with stuff that's taboo. I think it's great. I find it to be what I want in this life. I want us to have the Roman council and find out that these dudes are just wild. You know, there's been a lot of politicians that have been discovered. You know. Remember that dude in Minnesota that was tapping toes underneath.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Bathrooms, white stairs. Yeah. Just trying to get glory hold in a. In the airport. I mean we sit and think, oh my God, he tried to get a glory hole job at an airport. Think of the things he was getting successfully. That's the time he got busted. I don't think. And he tried to play it off like I didn't know I have a wide stance when I pee. I didn't know that touching feet with another dude with bad. And like every. That is the most. The etiquette of touching in a bathroom strangers is everyone knows that this dude's been getting away with it great stuff all the way around. So I'm proud of everybody who releases the Epstein files to us. And even prouder if it turns out that Clinton and Obama released blew each other in some sort of weird lemon.

[Brady]

Party and two weeks later start hearing stuff. Take it takes a while to read the Thousand.

[John Holmberg]

Because it seems like they can put a 20,000 page bill together and everybody knows it. These Epstein files said, just read them.

[Brett Vesely]

Weren't they trying to release those a couple months ago? And then I was, no, no, no.

[Brady]

We'Re gonna do that.

[John Holmberg]

They've been back.

[Brady]

Yeah, Big press announcement.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're gonna do it. It's all coming out. Yeah, there's nothing in these. And then they find a couple of them. Like, wait a second. Page three million. Clinton gets blown by Trump. It's like, what? We gotta release this. People need to read this.

[Brady]

Does that say Bubba?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Bubba. And then. And then Epstein's brother went on TMZ and said, no, no, no, Bubba's a different guy. It's like that. Wait a minute. If he is, who's the Bubba then? Because somebody's blowing Trump's blowing Bubba. Oh, it's just a dude saying, I've got pictures and blowing Bubba. But who's Bubba if it's not Clinton? Anyway, the world would be a better place if we all had non AI photos of presidents and former presidents blowing each other. Isn't that what we're shooting for, though? You know, unity lines. Blow a guy. I think that's what they've said in the past. It's on our money. Something like that.

[Brett Vesely]

It says, blow a guy in there.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, that's what he Plurvasuna means. Blow that fella. Yeah, read your money. You get on there. Yeah, I think it does. I think it says, e pluribus unum. And look at. Look, dudes blowing each other. It's on the dollar. On the bottom of the dollar, it says $1. And there's little, you know, there's a little spider in the corner and then the eye above the pyramid. And then that dude blowing that guy. And the. You got to search for it.

[Brady]

But it's all in there.

[John Holmberg]

It's in there. It's all in there. It's all part of it. VIP is the 6am word. You want to hop on that thing and get involved. Get yourself one last shot at $1,000. And then we can stop saying take it in the app. Because today is the. Today's the goof day. Also, we had a computer issue. This is like day five. We had to redo it today. It was supposed to end Friday, but there was a computer goof day. So we're going to try again. You guys might recognize I've done these words before. Yeah. Because it was a computer shutdown. So according to the legal department, we have to do the amount of days we said we were gonna and we have to do the words we said we're gonna do or somebody out there can read the rules and get mad that they entered it and then we'd owe everybody a thousand bucks. So I gotta do that. It's a makeup. No, we're not paying. We'd rather shut the doors and give everybody who says that they text a thousand dollars. So good luck. You won another thousand today. We're all proud of you Cardinal fans. I want to hear from you. We get a wake up song. I don't know how you're doing it. Maybe I just. We should have some sort of a. Like a suicide prevention or something for the Cardinal fans. I mean, what's keeping you a Cardinal fan? That's what I want to know. What is making you say someday? Because it's not going to happen.

[Brady]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

It's not going to happen.

[Brady]

Well, but I'm saying, don't you think.

[John Holmberg]

Being a Cubs fan and I was wrong. How many times have I said I was wrong? It wasn't worth it. They won it. And it's like, oh my God, I wasted all that time. And then I realized, oh my God, you don't have to do this. I understand if a team is giving back, but here. And the other thing about a Cubs fan, somebody. We were talking about this on Thursday with a friend of mine. You were the lovable losers. You had an identity that was like, oh, it's kind of a thing. It was. It was a badge of honor to be a Cubs fan because it showed you were tough. Cardinals aren't lovable losers. They're not lovable. They're just losers. There's a difference. You're being a Jets fan is the same thing. You're not a lovable loser. You're just a loser. And it sucks.

[Brady]

They're a step ahead of the Browns.

[John Holmberg]

Browns are just losers. Browns are. Browns are the closest thing to the lovable loser because they're just pathetic and sad. It's like children with men. It's just a. It's band you also in the end of it, you gotta. At least the Cubs lived in Chicago. There was stuff to do. If you're a loser and you live in Cleveland, oh my God. It's like a prison sentence.

[Brett Vesely]

Starting to feel sympathy for Browns.

[John Holmberg]

You can't. Browns fans are in some sort of a weird sci fi movie that they're not allowed to leave. They live in Cleveland, Ohio. I know Brady will defend that. That's a nightmare for everyone else on the planet. Not in Cleveland. The only people who like Cleveland are people who are in Cleveland because they have to convince themselves it's okay. Same with, like, Gila Bend. Gila Bend's actually really nice in the fall, says no one. Except for the residents of Gila Bend forced to live there. You can leave sometimes you can't leave Cleveland. You got to work there and stuff. It's time to go. But Arizona, you're not lovable losers. You're not. It's not adorable by any stretch. Although Kyler has his moments of being kind of the cutest thing in the world because he's so little. You just want to hug him. I don't know. Just kind of a strange.

[Brady]

There's a little excitement yesterday for the Brownies with Shador.

[John Holmberg]

You know, that wasn't exciting. Brady, he's terrible at football.

[Brady]

Should do it.

[John Holmberg]

Sanders went out there and proved why he's a fifth round pick. He's terrible at football. And the coaches have been saying he's not good enough to play and he had to. And Brown's fans are like, what the. We got two rookie quarterbacks and they both suck. What in the world?

[Brady]

Futuristic football coach. Just send them all.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what this is. We're going to lose because of him. That's my team. So, yeah, if you're a Browns fan, you can quit. But there are no lovable losers in football. The Browns are the closest Cardinal fans. There's not, there's no badge of anything you're loyal to nonsense. And I am a Cubs fan. I, I, I was wrong. It. Let me tell you, it wasn't worth it in the end when they finally won. It was. I was happy to kind of walk away and go, what? Why did I do that? But at least I had kind of a joke and a wink with it. Cardinal fans, it's like just, it's like going. And it'd be like every Sunday you're gonna have cerebral palsy for eight hours. Why are you doing this to yourself, man? Yeah, I woke up on Sunday. It's football season. I've got palsy. Like, you can stop. Nah, I'm gonna keep doing it. You can cure yourself of it. No, I'm gonna keep the palsy. At least Sunday. Mondays and Thursdays throughout from September until February. December.

[Brady]

The coolest thing would be at least I watched it in the mobile home in the end zone.

[John Holmberg]

You get those, you know, those weird little storage facilities that they put plates and tables in and make you sit and watch the game from the worst angle ever. Charge astronomical amounts of money anyway. What are you gonna do at 6? 18 Cardinal fans. I feel for you. I just. I just know there's a cure for it. And it's any other team you'll see one day when they get there. They're not gonna ever. You're gonna be dead. And there's no satisfaction in your football life. You'll be dead, Jeremy. You'll be dead. And they'll still not have anything. You'll be dead. It's true. 585-9800. That is the phone number to try to get it all back to normal on this Monday for you. And we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. It's out of control now. 98. It's John Holberg here for my friends at 4 Fanduel. The greatest thing ever to hit sports since sports itself in the NFL. The Sundays are here now. They're making it even better because this week FanDuel's bringing the bonus. That's right. Right now, all customers can get 50 profit boosts on any NFL bet. However you play your game. FanDuel's got your back with something extra in your account. Visit fanduel.com kupd and download the app and get in on the action before kickoff from our friends at FanDuel. 21 plus in present in Arizona. Opt in required bonus issued is non withdrawable profit boost tokens. Restrictions applied including any token expiration and max wager amount. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342.

[Larry McFeely]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com.

[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. There you go. Miles to Nowhere is your final week of proudly being the. The. The band of the year, so to speak.

[Brett Vesely]

We gotta do this again.

[John Holmberg]

Palladio's winner last year, Miles to NowHere and their one year of being our wake up theme song, which was fantastic work. The next Monday, somehow another. Here we are again with Palladio. The local band competition we do annually simply to try to find that needle in a haystack. And we do every year we find a couple bands. They're like, this is fun. They're good. And last year, every show we've had, every live show, this is what I'm Going to do going into it, Brett, Every live show we've had for Plato has been something I would have paid money to see. The winners. The five. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The five that we have that. The live show over it and we'll do it again at Copper Blues next Tuesday night. Every single year we have it, we walk away saying, I would have paid for that.

[Brett Vesely]

But getting there.

[John Holmberg]

Getting there is a struggle. But that's worth it. That's what makes it so valuable. Blood Eagle army and oh my Lord. Let's not bring up all the. The messes. 40 bands this year. We got 10 extra because Toledo screwed something up. Oh, yeah, his emails took all of this first 10 submissions and stuffed him in spam. And so we put the. The 31st 30 in there. And then they're like, how come we're not on the list? He's like, well, you didn't submit anything. And then he went to his spam and noticed in timestamp. Oh yeah, we're first ones in. So there it is.

[Brett Vesely]

God damn it.

[John Holmberg]

So I know goddamn Toledo is pretty common around here. The six o' clock word, by the way, is over. So we'll get to 7 o' clock one in just a little bit. Brett was just telling us off here and I, like, I. I want to definitely say that I have the outpouring of. Of appreciation for you was fairly impressive. The. The emails came flying in. You have become beloved in and amongst the people. It was very nice to read and very nice to know that in the past five years, in those short five years, you have become a fan favorite. And that was kind of a cool thing to see. You just said something that I thought was awesome, is that you're smart. You didn't know your dad was cremated and you don't know what you're gonna do, but he suggested use him to clean up oil in the garage.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, we're all car guys, so he's all, hey, what am I gonna do with it? You know, who cares?

[John Holmberg]

I think that's actually beautiful.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm a car guy. Clean up some oil with some oil dryer.

[Brady]

Body's gone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but is that just. Why not. Does he have any metal parts? No, they just clunk them out and clean up some oil. And that was his fine. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And it's funny because he told me that when I was in my 20s, even like way back in the day, he's always said that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And then I was talking of his buddies right before he passed, like two days before he passed. And his buddy's like, this is going to sound kind of morbid, but your dad told me this. I'm like, he's been saying that for 30 years. And he told me again, so I'm.

[John Holmberg]

Like, all right, that's fantastic. That. That was it.

[Brett Vesely]

That was it.

[John Holmberg]

Said, go ahead.

[Brett Vesely]

He was more worried about, you know, he's like, you know, whatever. Religious, whatever. But he's just like, I'm more worried about my soul. What am I gonna do? The body's gone. Who cares? What am I gonna do?

[John Holmberg]

I cooked it. That's the thing for me. I'm like, yeah, it's the body's whatever.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If you need it later, you'll find out you screwed up. Oh, well. But I love the idea of. Of cleaning up some oil dry and then just sweep them up and make your garage floor great again. That is the most beautiful thing ever.

[Brady]

Rod caps do a burnout.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that's. That's brilliant too.

[John Holmberg]

Some famous oil. Yeah, some like, real oil. Oh, man. That you burn out on his ashes.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, geez. I don't know about that. That seems horrible. So, like, wouldn't you rather have it, like, there's an oil leak and caps and they got.

[Brady]

The crew's gotta use. Pat it down.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Either one, sweep it up.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's awesome. When you said that, I'm like, that's the coolest thing I've ever heard. I think that's great. So. Because all I said was, is they're going to be a service. Like, I don't know what we're gonna do. It'll be.

[Brett Vesely]

But, you know, either after Thanksgiving sometime, if we, you know, figure it out.

[John Holmberg]

Flippantly mentioned.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

His wishes were to be kitty litter.

[Brett Vesely]

He's always said that, like, literally since I was in my 20s, he said that.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, you're serious?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Your dad's friend's like, I don't want to bring this up. Right. Like, trust me, I've heard it since 12. Oh, yeah. That's nuts. All right, well, it's. That's pretty awesome.

[Brett Vesely]

But I gotta say, it was. It was amazing. Like, the. The outreach that everybody, like. And I will get to everybody. I'm, you know, I'm just getting back to emails and stuff, so I'll email everybody back. But thank you for everybody for reaching out and thank you guys. On Tuesday, I heard it. We were listening while we were waiting, and then. Then the Wake up song came on and I was like.

[John Holmberg]

Started to get all of us. Like, we played My Way and I'm like, geez, Louise, this is.

[Brady]

Larry came in dripping.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Larry was crying, right? He's over. Listen. He's still all stuffy from the. The tears.

[Brett Vesely]

My buddy was driving to work, and he's just like.

[Larry McFeely]

I was in my work truck crying like a.

[John Holmberg]

On the way to work, and it happened. Well, it was. It was an interesting outreach. Like, people to flying into my emails, like, what's Brits? What's Brit's email? I want to tell, like, God, that's awesome. Do it. I'm sure.

[Brett Vesely]

Thank you, everybody. I really appreciate it.

[John Holmberg]

Very cool. And I love the idea. Now I want to follow in his footsteps and become oil dry or something, you know? You know what I'd like to be? Maybe. You know that weird sawdust that janitors in high schools use for kids who puke?

[Brady]

The phobia is that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right. You have. You know the name of it.

[Brett Vesely]

How do you know the name?

[John Holmberg]

Well, because he probably threw up. We need more Vauban.

[Brady]

I did it again working at Kings Island.

[John Holmberg]

He had a lot of vogue. I don't know if I can listen to you. Talk to me.

[Brady]

It was orange.

[John Holmberg]

This is tough. You need to snot out. That sounds just uncomfortable as hell. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Sawdust of Bill Johnson's Big Apple back in the day.

[John Holmberg]

Instead of that on the ground, Just a bunch of guys. Ashes who loved eating. But yeah, the Vauban. To be a. To be the guy who you sprinkle on the carpet and fix up. And I absorb all that. Does it absorb? I would imagine it's ashes.

[Brady]

Takes the odor out. The Vaux band does.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sort of. It makes more.

[Brady]

And they made it orange so people would walk off the rides. They wouldn't step in it.

[John Holmberg]

Can't step in the vomit. But that stuff was. I never found that to be a more pleasant smell. It was just the dirt.

[Brady]

It just hugs you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Don't stomp here. Yeah. It was just a mound of like, we. Nobody's picking this up until this becomes a shovelable thing. Maybe that's it. Just include me in some Vauban. I've been trying to figure out what I want done. I've. I've often said just take my body and drag it behind a car for a little while. Like just married and stuff. Just abuse the hell. I have no issues with that. I've no. Like, my corpse doesn't.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, well, that was my dad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

He's just.

[John Holmberg]

What are you gonna do? I'm not. I'm not using it.

[Brady]

That's why you go with go through the cremation.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. But just throw me off of something just for fun. Like, you know when Letterman used to throw things off of that building?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Me, I'm fine with that. Just to see what happens. It would be gross, but hilarious. Or just ride me around until you can't take the smell anymore and then put me somewhere and we're done. I'm fine with that. I. I love. You know, he liked cars. So sprinkle me down on that. That's awesome.

[Brett Vesely]

True story.

[John Holmberg]

That's awesome. I like that too much. Anyway, so it's good to have you back. That's for sure. I get in a lot of emails from Cardinal fans that are quitting. You know, I've caused a lot of public school teachers to quit their jobs. I think I'm. I'm getting through to these pieces. I emailed you earlier this season and told you that I quit the Cardinals. And oh my God, how much more fun I'm actually having on Sundays watching football and not caring that the Cardinals effing suck. It's the same crap every effing year. Bye. Bye. Bidwell's thanks for nothing signed Ron and he's happy again. I'm sure he pays attention and it hurts a little. But this guy says, you ask why? Why? We're Cards fans. I'm a fan because Cards had Neil Lomax back in the late 80s. I saw him shopping at Target on Baseline and McClintock. I was nine. He was nice enough to give me an autograph and sunk in right there. Oh, Jesus, that's brutal. That's 36 years of misery just because one guy wrote on your clothes. Can't imagine. Mark says, John, I've been going since Sun Devil stadium days just in this bad one way relationship. You can take the Cardinals out of Tempe, but you can't take the Tempe out of the Cardinals. Will I change? No, I won't. And I don't know why I am a cuck in a football relationship. It's my life, I guess. I'm a cuck for the Cardinals and I watch them get f week after week, year after year. And I keep showing up, trying to make take my emotions out of it. And it works for some weeks. But other weeks I'm like, is this my relationship? Why am I okay with them getting effed every week while I sit back and watch? Yeah. When there's all sorts of other available like relationships.

[Brett Vesely]

So basically Cardinals fans are like cucks.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they're huge cuffs he said it right there. They're banging away on the. It's just so sad. And again, I was a Cubs fan, I understand it. But let me tell you, as a reformed Cubs fan, find your way out. It's not that. It's not that nothing happens to you. You know, you're still a loyal human being. You're still a decent, different person. I'm loyal to the Suns to a certain degree, but they're no different. They're just a mess that ends up breaking your heart later. So I get involved to a certain point to where I realize, well, this thing doesn't pay off. It's a slot machine that you can have fun at, but in the end, you've lost all your money and there's nothing to show for. Just lets you play for a while. Just have to walk away and say, I just don't care. And that's hard. But how in the world can you keep going back week after week, year after year, to watch what we saw yesterday and the week before? They were carbon copy games. They were just like, how bad can they get?

[Brady]

It kind of defines why some cities are accused of being fair weather fans where it's hard to be a loyal fan.

[John Holmberg]

But no one, that's the thing with, with the Cardinals. No one would accuse you of that because they would understand why you've stopped showing up. You know, LA gets a wrap of being fair weather because they're spoiled. They've got championships. They show up in the third inning of a baseball game, they leave early, it's like, eh, we'll be there when it matters. Carnival fans, I don't know why you show up. My friend is a Chiefs fan and he went to the Cardinals game yesterday and Jordan met me for the Suns game after and he said, I'm on my way. I'm like, the game, the game just ended. You're still there. And he goes, yeah, we stayed for the whole thing. I'm like, why in the. Would anyone who's not a fan stay for the whole thing? Because I just had to see how bad I got. Like, yeah, okay, I guess that, I guess that's watching a fire to watch the building collapse.

[Brett Vesely]

Hate watching.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's just brutal. So I'm not trying to be mean to you Cardinal fans. I'm telling you that there's, there's help out there for sure. This guy says it's been a rough year for sure. A glimmer of hope too. That's what made it worse three times. So far the opposing teams have had more fans in the stadium that Niners, packers and Toledo's cuck army.

[Brady]

It was loud.

[John Holmberg]

At least. The Warning is playing halftime this week and the jags don't have 30,000 fans outside of Florida. That is kind of a draw. You've got a nice halftime concert with three hot Mexican girls that are.

[Brett Vesely]

Can I buy tickets just at a halftime show?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Do I have to go to the whole damn thing?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Can I just end up in the middle of that?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And there's no real arguing back. Like, you can't yell at other teams unless you're yelling at a Jets or Browns fan. But no jets or Browns fan is going to tell you guys, you can quit. They're in the same boat as you. I'm telling you, there's options. And until the Bidwells are done with this thing, nothing's going to change. There's been one constant with why the Cardinals? Throughout time, one constant has been attached to them. You can change all the faces and all the names on the field and everything else. The word Bidwell is still there. And so long as that's there, it is attached to what you watch every week. It's time somebody said something again. My plan a couple weeks ago, that if you don't make the playoffs in five years as an owner, you are forced to sell the team. You must sell the team if you cannot turn it around. The fans deserve something and there'll be plenty of guys doing it again. You don't have to get out of football, but you just can't own this team anymore. You can move over and buy another team that's going through what you're going through. But right now the Cardinals would be one year removed if they do it again from being on the bubble. And I guarantee you, and I've said this with my plan, not one owner would ever sell. Not one owner would ever sell because they would be imperative that they get in the playoffs every couple years. And again, if you only made it once in seven years, you have to sell, too. So it has to be a consistent kind of comeback. You can't just be one every five years. You make an appearance and you're out. No. Well, we got a. It's a good plan.

[Brett Vesely]

How many owners. How many owners the Browns would have.

[John Holmberg]

Or something like that? Never stop swapping ownership. But I tell you right now, Jimmy Haslam and the Browns would have a playoff team if that was the rule. You have to make a playoff. You have to. And then in seven years, you have to have won One playoff game in those seven years. If you have not if you're. If you only went once in seven years and you lost the game you were in, you have to sell, you know, if you're constantly making the playoffs, okay, that's close enough. You can keep the team, but you better get it together. This guy says he quit the Cardinals back in 93. I was an original season ticket holder, and they didn't even try 93. The whole family gathered around the table and called BS dad went back to the Bears and we chose our own teams. Go Broncos. I believe he's a Bo Nicks believer. Joy. He's got joy now. This one says, I quit the Cardinals entirely. They were always my second go to after the Lions. I've been done with them since Kyler put that dumb effing shirt on. Yeah, he's talking about the Michael Vick Murray. Showing us who he was was the last straw. I'm a Bidwell cuck no more. Happy Monday, America. Yeah, here's another one. Guy says, my brother passed away and his request was to be put inside of ammo so he could still go hunting with the kids.

[Brett Vesely]

I've heard that, too.

[John Holmberg]

I've heard people say, how much can you get out of that? Quite a bit, right? He says every time they fire a shot for him, every year, they put one in the air for him.

[Brady]

Like a shotgun shell, I guess, with the powder.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty cool. Yeah, that's pretty neat. I like that one, too. I put on my list as well. Yeah, I like when people come up with creative ways to do that.

[Brett Vesely]

People said you could use yours as a kitty litter and send it to us or Home Pet Rescue, since you're all about the pets.

[John Holmberg]

That's a great idea. You know, I wouldn't mind also taking all of my skin off and making beds for the animals or rawhide chews or something.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's a little Jane gum there.

[John Holmberg]

But what's bad about that?

[Brady]

Take a little bully stick.

[John Holmberg]

Make bully sticks out of me. You know, that's a wiener. I wouldn't be as impressive as those bully sticks would, but, you know, one of the smaller dogs could have a nice day with that. I think that's fun. That's a good idea. I'll consider that. I was at a the. This sounds terrible. I think it's the last gala I'm going to. But I was there Saturday at the Biltmore for Gabriel's Angels, and it was beautiful. That was great. They had a. A short rib Brady. Normally it's you know, dry chicken, the short rib was amazing, incredible food. And Gabriel's Angels was an outstanding event. And I got to meet all these people. They do great stuff for like kids who've had issues and something go wrong and they, the dogs come. It's like these soothing moments with the pets and it's, it's a great charity. It's an awesome charity. But that, that food, I couldn't get over it. It makes you want to, makes you want to donate more when they feed you that well. Glorious. So I went to that. And then also, I have to say, Megan's sister Stephanie and her husband Sean lost their dog this weekend. Hannah. And Hannah is an awesome, beautiful girl. And they moved to California. That was the only friend they had in California was bringing Hannah along. And they lost Hannah. Hannah was probably about 12, I'm guessing, and they lost Hannah this weekend. So if you've got another one. It's just like I do when people email in some hugs and some cookies in honor of Hannah, who is just an awesome dog. Just so sweet.

[Brady]

Buy the dinner for Ted by the celebrity chef.

[John Holmberg]

No, I knew the guy. Did you know the guy?

[Brady]

Yeah, I know you wouldn't bid on it because he was a two time winner on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he was on some TV series. Yeah, yeah. They said, oh, you can literally have the Food Network in your house. I'm like, I do and I don't ever watch it, so let's not. Yeah. I didn't. You know of him or did you?

[Larry McFeely]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you don't know him.

[Brady]

I do know him.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, who is it?

[Brady]

His name's Robert. Yeah, he's. He had sauce. South Chicago sauce, it's called.

[John Holmberg]

Ah.

[Brady]

And I went over to his house one day because he guy's backyard has every cooking, outdoor cooking apparatus you could think.

[John Holmberg]

So this was like the hall of fame.

[Brady]

It was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He went over there and just toured another man's yard and some guy was.

[Brady]

He was cooking up a 800 wagyu.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady]

Steak that seems to try. While they were trying to see how good it really is, one guy bought a couple of them.

[John Holmberg]

$800.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

For steak. You can't tell the difference on that.

[Brady]

I mean, it's good, but yeah, it's. It's like a bottle of wine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Silly. Well, that's. Yeah, yeah. He had something that you bid on and he'd come to your house and cook for you. I didn't know who he was, but when they said Food Network, I'm like, oh, talentless knob. Anybody can do what he does. And that's what I always think of. Maybe he's not, but that's what I thought. I hate the Food Network. I hate it with a passion. It's just. Especially Guy Fieri. If Guy Fieri judges your food. Fantastic garbage. He has the palate of a two year old. Whoa. That car I thought was coming at the building. Jesus. I think everybody heard that through our speaker. Seven o' clock. Word is roll. R, O, L, L. Roll. That's the word you want to put in there for the final day to take it in the app. Seven o' clock is roll. You find it on there. You put the promo code for 7:00am R, O, double L, and you make it a thing. And you make one. A thousand bucks. It's your last day to qualify, and then we'll do it. That'll be it. This guy says, I'm a Browns fan. You know my story, John. This guy's been trying to convert over to be a Steelers fan since he said years and years of sucking. And I stuck with him. And they finally bounced Baker Mayfield for the dude with rape charges. And that was it. I was out and I haven't looked back. I hate the Browns now, and it is freeing. You can walk away. There is help available. This one says, since we're talking about both the Cardinals and the day you die, I'd like it when the day comes. For me, I would love to have the Cardinals at my funeral so they can let me down one last time. Lower you into the ground. Yep. I like that quite a bit. John, as a Cowboys fan, I'd give my left nut for the rule that you keep recommending. If it had been in place all along, Jerry Jones would have been gone in the early 2000s. I don't know. They made the playoffs a bunch of. But if you can't, you know, Cowboys are another one. They keep squeaking into the playoffs, so save Jerry's job. But I guarantee you, Jerry Jones, we can't ever put a Super bowl on it. That's too much to ask. But if you can just be competitive every couple years, these owners would do it. You relegate. And soccer's got this figured out in Europe, if you don't make it out of the bottom three, you just go to a cruddier league. They downgrade you to a cruddy league, and then the top three from the cruddy league move into your spot. John Holmberg's morning sickness. Kupd.

[Larry McFeely]

All right, HMS Podcast. Time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. All right, Josh Johnson in the Flowers tour is going to be downtown at Stand Up Live, east side of the Tempe Improv. Tony Rock is performing. And up north of Desert Ridge Improv, you have Langston Kerman. And next week for the holidays, Dion Cole, Eric Griffin and Greg Fitzsimmons are coming to town. For the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and Tempe Improv. Looking for the best football spot in town? Look no further than Hooters with wall to wall TVs, all the games and the best specials anywhere. We have you covered. Select Big Daddy Beers starting at only $4 and the Hooties pick three for only $10.99 per person. It's a game changer, honestly. Where else can you go get two beers, an appetizer, two entrees and two additional non alcoholic drinks for under $30? Nowhere. So head to Hooters, your game day headquarters.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness and the owners can't stand it. The relegation thing in soccer is unreal. It's outstanding.

[Brady]

It is. It's amazing. Still, you know, there's got to be a little bit of revenue loss. But it, those teams are the cities they're in, oh, they lose a loyal.

[John Holmberg]

Ton of money because the TV rights and all that. So you lose a lot of money when you get relegated out a lot because you're in the beat, you're in the minors, basically, you're in the second class league and you're fighting to get back into the bigs. The premier league is you don't want to be in the second league. And it's pretty awesome to watch that. You're like, these teams are fighting to not be in last. They have to get out of that three spot or they're going away. And owners lose money. And when owners lose money, your teams do better. I promise you that if we could hold it over the bidwells over there to one year, not make a penny, they you'd start seeing some action over there. Not necessarily good. They'd just be trying a little harder. They wouldn't be resting so easily on stupid stuff. By the way, to everyone who knows me, there's no reason to email me or text me a picture of myself on the commercial with Doug Hopkins during the game saying, is this you that nobody's going to impersonate me. Nobody wants to look like this. If the name is under the bald head, it says John Holmberg Yeah, pretty safe to assume that. Did I just see you on tv? You are sending me the picture. What do you think happened there? What are you doing on that? I'm on a commercial with Doug Hopkins. Is that really you? No, it was a guy, an unfortunate tard who looks enough like me that we hired him. This poor bastard has nothing to live for, so we gave him. Why would I do that? And quit texting me like I don't know about. About it. Saw your commercial on tv. Look, right? I was there. I know you're on a commercial. I don't want to look at pictures of myself. Stop that. I told Troy Hayden that yesterday. He goes, hey, look at that. You're looking pretty good. And I'm like, no, no, I'm not. Thank you. That's nice of you. And I said, but why do people. They don't do it to Troy. Hey, saw you in the news last night. It's like, of course that's what he does.

[Brady]

Is that you?

[John Holmberg]

Is that. Is that really you? Did you just deliver that fire story? Did you know that baby that got hit? No. I mean, what the hell's wrong with you? Just couldn't believe it. Saw you on tv. And they send pictures of me to me. The last thing I want to see is me looking back at me and you. And by the way, if you're going to take one of the pictures, could you at least take one where I'm not blinking or I'm not in mid. You know, like I look like Sloth or like, just a goofy, like, kind of like I'm half alive. Take a nice picture. I know they're hard to get, but don't do that. I tell Hopkins that all the time. I'm like, the people do think even his commercials, like, hey, I saw your spot. And they send a picture of it to him to, like, prove it, like, stamp it. It's very strange.

[Brett Vesely]

You're watching tv.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. But I don't know. Like, I feel like they're trying to let me know I'm in it. Did you know about this? Like, no. Doug and I were just. Just talking one day about if he likes real estate. And then I told everyone to sing the jingle, and I didn't know they were taping it. Turned into a commercial. Of course I knew I was in it. There was a script. It was all on purpose. And I'm sorry, I'm mucking up your tv. The good news is the Cardinals are so bad that by the time that commercial runs, no one's watching that game anymore. Most people had turned it to the Broncos and Chiefs at that point because it was like, 44 to nothing. That's brutal. If you sat through the whole Cardinal game yesterday, you deserve some sort of an award. You're a crazy person. Now, let's get back to the Epstein thing, because Trump blowing Bubba is very funny. And people. I didn't follow this up. I just. I think it's. I only wanted something to be real. And I've already gotten emails from people going, you know, it's just a political football. It's like, look, I don't care. I know what it is, and I don't care. I want the blow jobs to be real. And when they say he's blowing Bubba, I wanted it to be Clinton. Turns out it's not. I just found out that Bubba is a horse that Jizwell, Max, Lane, whatever her name is, had, and they called it Bubba. And then so they're saying that maybe Trump blew Bubba, and that's Putin's got pictures of Trump blowing Bubba. Now, I want that to be real. If it's the horse's name and Trump blew a horse, and somebody can prove that, AI will prove it, but AI is going to make all this happen, right? Well, all weekend, I saw Trump and Clinton together. There was one where it was my favorite one of the weekend. Trump had a mouthful of water. He just took a sip, and he did that thing where we kind of swell your cheeks out and kind of swish the water around, and it's a still shot that just said, this is Donald Trump and 60 million Bill Clintons. And I'm like, God damn it, that's glorious in a mouthful. But if there's a horse involved in this, I couldn't have imagined that. I also want that to be true, and that's not because I'm politically against one side or the other. I just think that would be better for my existence if. If we had. You know, remember in the 90s when Clinton had to go on TV and explain what he'd done, and it was just a man and a woman enjoying each other's bodies. If there's a horse involved and our president has to go on TV and explain that I've lived a full life, that would be pretty much the exclamation point on this existence. Just go, at least I got to live through the President blowing a horse. I mean, that is. And I know it's not real. I know it was just a joke. So bear with me on this one. But tell me it wouldn't be a better world if Sean Hannity had to go, so we blew a horse. Like, he had to defend that for a little while. Like, he had to be like Tucker Carlson and those guys, he blew a horse. I mean, like, what's the big deal? Yeah, I want that. And MSNBC screaming, he blew a horse. And the fight then would be okay, he blew a horse. I want that to be real.

[Brett Vesely]

Imagine Gutfeld starting to show off with that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and the somber nature of that final press conference when Nixon's known for the I am not a crook.

[Brady]

It's the day. This is the end of this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then I am not a crook speech was a pretty big deal at Dizzy. I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Pretty big deal. I have been caught in a lie. Big deal. Even people who weren't president when that dude Jimmy Swagger, or whichever one was like, I have sinned you, because he was. Now imagine, I did not blow that horse. Okay, here we go. We're off and running now. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. But let's get. And then the evidence comes out.

[Brady]

Five minutes about how, yeah, that horse.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't do that. That's just weird and against it. I'm a good man.

[Brady]

What a gate.

[John Holmberg]

And then about two months later, I'm like, he might have blown that horse. And then somebody comes forward with a. I don't know, it would be a saddle with a stain on it, I guess, and somebody's been storing in a closet. Oh, the blanket. That's it. The blanket that goes under the saddle and it's got DNA all over it. Awesome. And then you got to come back and go, all right, I blew the horse. But. But as a man, I have made mistakes. I'm like, oh, my God, my life is complete. And I know Trump people would absolutely love it. You know, the Trump haters, the no Kings people. If he blew a horse.

[Brady]

Does surprise me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they would. I knew this. Okay? Nobody knew this. Of course, of course, of course, of course. Anyway, it's not a thing. But if it was, wouldn't the world be better? I've been a big one for not doing any of the Epstein files, because it's in the hands of people who are going to manipulate it, cheat it, lie it, and do everything else. You're not getting the truth, so it doesn't really matter what gets released. And also, there's only going to be things that are designed to tear something else down. If the horse blowjob thing happened, I think we'd all just shake our heads and start over. It's the Etch A Sketch. We would Etch a Sketch, the whole deal. Just erase it, shake it, and be like, all right, that's enough. Is now a scandal that can't be topped. That is a scandal that cannot be topped. Throughout time, there's never been a king of England. They're like, he's, you know, King Joffrey the horseblower. It's never been a thing, but damn it all, that's the. That's the best one. Said, play the Sarah McLaughlin music and just show pictures of Trump and ponies and stuff and have it go by and raise money for abused animals. Yeah, the world's better that way, I think. I love that. But it's all anybody was talking about and hearing. You know, again, I'm living in a simulation that I heard about this for the first time when William Shatner told me he thinks that's real. And then we had a nice conversation about it. It's pretty awesome. And again, Brett, you missed it, but Thursday night, William Shatner died in front of me and then resurrected himself. And we did it. Yeah, we did a show. He fell down, passed out and fell down in front of me walking to the stage to do the show Thursday night. Died. Just stood over him, you know, caliendo, help him.

[Brady]

Or those famous words.

[John Holmberg]

And then. And then after about a minute of laying there dead, he just heard, pick me up. That's real. Calienda wants to come in on Tuesday just to get it off his chest, what he saw, because we. We can't stop. We've been texting each other since, you know, Friday morning, pick me up. And then I had lunch with Kevin Rowe Friday afternoon. I told him the story, and he text Caliendo, pick me up. And then Frank just started to send him voice messages. One of, Kevin, I've been in a wreck, I need a check. It's great. It was the weirdest night of my life. But that was off the heels of talking to William Shatner about Trump blowing Bill Clinton. He then died in front of me. Me. We picked him up, he went out and did an hour show. It was pretty. It was pretty spectacular. And then I got the video of the night of Thursday night. I got that Friday evening from the producer. He sent it to me. He goes, here's the video of the show. And I got to watch it from the other side. Not the I'm afraid he's dying side, but from the audience side. It was a pretty good show. It was a pretty entertaining night.

[Larry McFeely]

But.

[John Holmberg]

He was dead about a minute and a half. And then he looks at me after he's being wobbled up in all jello on Brett, and he turns and he says, if I'm booked, I go on like, yeah, but I think you're dead. The shot must go on. And it did. Gave me a little wink and off we went. That was amazing. And I still relive it over and over. It's crazy. But let's get into the world of horses being blown by. By leaders of the. You seem like that's something you're not interested in.

[Brady]

That's crazy.

[John Holmberg]

It would be amazing. I don't think.

[Brady]

I don't. I don't discord it anymore. Just count the fact that it could happen.

[John Holmberg]

But that's the scariest part, isn't it? Is that it's not out of the realm of possibility. Is that your brain's like, you know what, though? Don't just throw it out.

[Brady]

Because I'm still people for the most part.

[John Holmberg]

Like, no, probably not. Yeah, but the words for the most part came out of your mouth.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Which means there's a shred of possibility that lives inside of your brain that says, would I be surprised if a politician blew a horse? And I think all of us are like, I don't think anything can surprise me anymore. That might be the one that's left. And what if. Because you know the rumor about Mick Jagger and David bowie through the 70s, but what was the. Rod Stewart had to have a bunch of horse stomach pumped.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Pumped out. And I was like 7 years old when I knew that that was something that someone told second graders. You like Rod Stewart. You're gay. How come he has stomach pumps and it was just nothing but horse semen? And I'm like. I don't even know what any of those words mean. Richard Gear in the gerbal. Richard Gear in the Gerbal. What more is there out there that we're like, maybe. And then that was how I found out the Richard Gere thing is how I found out that the gerbil thing is real. That's a legitimate practice. Or was. I don't know if that's still going on.

[Brett Vesely]

You've seen the stuff we got now.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. But we've never had anything this dude's doing. But this is the world we're in.

[Brady]

I gotta check to. Was there a story out that you can no longer buy gerbils and civilization in San Francisco?

[John Holmberg]

See, I think that maybe that Was, too.

[Brady]

After that. After that story came out.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if that was the protective nature of, you know, PETA to make sure. Well, we'll just limit it to this place here. This seems to be happening a lot here. And they just did it in Palm Springs. All you'd have to do is drive Sacramento and get a gerbil and then drive it back in. It's not like anybody's gonna stop you, but that's how. But that, in our lifetime, was something that our grandparents never had to deal with. They never had to sit there and think that their favorite. The worst they worried about was their favorite star might be gay. But they kept it under, you know, under wraps. Our favorite stars might have gerbils in their asses. And we deal with that like it's not that unusual. Oh, yeah, he's one of them guys. He's got a gerbil up his ass, and it didn't even stop his career. Richard Gere, Pretty Woman.

[Brett Vesely]

After the gerbil.

[John Holmberg]

That's usually a rumor that destroys a man. He did okay with it, and that's getting it done. You got Draymond Green. Doesn't even want to be called a woman. Poor Richard Gere. So we live in a world where the horse blowing thing is very much a possibility because we've heard some stuff. The Rod Stewart one was weird. I still remember where I was when I heard that, and it was at Osuna Elementary School in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Me and a kid named David were out on the. Like, next to the basketball court. And you know what we were doing? Because we were borderline hillbillies in Albuquerque. We took magnets to school, and we would go along the dirt and pick up this weird magnetic iron that lived in the dirt, and we'd store it in coffee cans, thinking that it was going to be valuable. We had no idea, but. And then somebody came over and called us homo. F word. Like, what are you talking about? Because David was singing a Rod Stewart song. And then the. Then the older kids, the fifth graders told us, third and fourth graders that Rod Stewart had a belly full of horse stuff. And that was.

[Brady]

Dude, you think I'm sexy?

[John Holmberg]

Huh? Well, yeah. No. I remember laying on each other singing, if you think I'm sexy. Yeah, of course. It was awesome. It's a great song. But that's how you learned that. So. So in our lifetime, I don't think my grandpa ever said, you hear about Gregory Peck? He had a stomach pump from goat got goat piss all through. Nobody thinks that that Was never a thing. It is for us. So the next logical step is a politician blowing a horse. We got video everywhere. So fingers crossed, everybody.

[Brett Vesely]

No, Big Mike is not a horse. Okay? Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. So, John, back in the day, Catherine the Great had a rumor. She used to bang her horse, okay? But they didn't have cameras back then. So the worst you'd have gotten was like, a tapestry of that act. And you can deny that all day. It was easier to lie back then. I say, hey, did I see you banging that horse? Like, oh, don't be ridiculous. I'm Catherine the Great. I think I watched you bang a horse. Prove it. I drew it. It does. Loving. There's no such thing as cameras. You can't prove anything.

[Brady]

Yeah, but the painting of the wall.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I painted it on the wall, and I made a tapestry, and I drew it in pencil. Nothing anybody could have drawn that. It's AI. That was the AI of the day. I just drew Brett blowing a horse. That doesn't prove anything. But cameras, man. Eyewitnesses, cameras, they're everywhere. And I'm just fingers crossed, hoping. Did I get the 7am word? I didn't roll is the word for 7am R, O, double L, 7am roll. I did give it. I think I did. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[Brett Vesely]

Wake up. Brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course. And, well, now it's time to hit the trails. And now it's time to start thinking about the winter gear as well. So if you want to. You want to hit the trails. Well, the new Action Ride Shop right there on Power Road, McDowell is the place to be. And of course, you want to hit the. Hit the slopes going up north. We're supposed to get snow this weekend. There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Supposed to come tomorrow. Supposed to come this past weekend, and nothing happened. It's beautiful.

[Brett Vesely]

But Action Ride Shop's got everything. You snowboarder, skiers, whatever you want to do, head on over to Action Ride shop at the OG store on Gilbert Road in Southern.

[John Holmberg]

Actionrideshop.com 25 years ago when this show started, Brady, did you ever think it'd be like. And then in a few years, hopefully, we'll be talking about the President blowing a horse, and everybody be like, maybe, yes. Yeah, we never saw that. No. Much like the horse. We never saw that coming. Somebody says, I don't think that Hillary blew the horse, but I think she got knocked up by. Because I look at Chelsea Clinton and I think, there's some horse in there. Yeah, there's some possibilities. You want to make fun of. Chelsea's face. That's.

[Brett Vesely]

Bill got blown by one.

[John Holmberg]

What? Bill got blown by one. She was. She was horse shaped. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, she was.

[John Holmberg]

She wasn't that big. Maybe Shetland pony, but definitely a couple other candidates. Who's that for?

[Brady]

Clinton. That were horse.

[John Holmberg]

That were horse like. Yeah, that. Paula Jones had a horse face. Big time horse face. But at least she wasn't horse sized. Monica was.

[Brady]

I just remember seeing thick.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

12 or whatever they were.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, he had a few. It was. He had a. He had a hillbilly look about him. He liked that. The sugar cubes is a good idea. I'm just carrying these around in case somebody brings me some tea or a horse. God, I hope all of it's true. And I know people are like, this is stupid. It is. But this is what we're talking about because it's in the news and we're not sure how far to take it. All right, what do you got up there on the list?

[Brett Vesely]

We got a couple for Draymond. Aerosmith, Crying offspring. She's got issues. And then everything for the cards. The three doors down. Loser. Corn blind for the fans. Helmet. I know. Slipknot disaster piece. Megadeth in my darkest hour for cardinals fans. Megadeth liar. For Bidwell. Ozzy suicide solution for cardinals fans. My curse from kill switch.

[John Holmberg]

Engage.

[Brett Vesely]

Five minutes alone for Bidwell because these cards fans are a little pissed at him. And stone sour. Absolute zero for the Cardinals.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I like my curse. Let's do a little kill switch. My curse for cardinals fans. And I'm trying. I'm trying to help you out, guys. Let me get you ready. On a Monday. A great song. This is your own problem. It's tough, man. I can't imagine it. That has to be awful to watch. It's just got to be miserable. And Brady's a bungles fan. It's not even close to being that bad. And that team's nearly impossible to watch. Although it was awesome watching my big tight end Darnell Washington truck. Everybody on your defense in one play. Which was just the best thing I've seen in a long time.

[Brady]

But you kind of knew. I mean, early on when Burrow went down.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter. It's just fun to watch that team suck because they're so good at it. And Burrow, you know, the. The only thing he got.

[Brady]

The Flacco honeymoon period. Might. Might be.

[John Holmberg]

I think maybe it is. I think maybe he had his little blips and then it might be time to say goodbye to JoJo.

[Brady]

But then it'll be a mystery. See if a Aaron Rodgers gets some miracle work.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, who cares? I don't. My team doesn't matter. They'll come back. They'll be fine. The Good Friendship franchise. It's just tough to be part of a franchise, you know? Only has brief windows that open and close like the Cardinals. And if they don't go through it, it's just going to be continually sucking for like a decade. I can't even grasp it. It's got to be awful. And that's why we'll play this for you Cardinal fans. It's my curse. Kill switch engage. I'm so sorry for your Mondays. Your Mondays all suck. It's 98. It's out of control now. 98. It's John Hol. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins dot com. I just sat down with TV's Doug Hopkins and we did some TV commercials while we're watching football. So you get to see me sit next to Doug and somehow or another make Doug look pretty. And I'm happy to do it, too. I bought and sold houses using Doug Hopkins. So I've been through the process and he's the real deal. He is not going to cancel or change the game with fine print contingencies. Simple cash offer and the deal is done. Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing Hopkins. Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu.mo. and don't just study tech. Live it.

[Brady]

Annex the region from the Ukraine. In 2014, he came out in support of it. He even helped. He held up a banner at the show that said Crimea equals Russia.

[John Holmberg]

She's. She is from Crimea.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And. And she wanted Russia to take them back.

[Brady]

Sounds like it.

[John Holmberg]

Interesting.

[Brady]

But he divorced her in 2019, so.

[John Holmberg]

Then he went back. So now today he hates Crimea, I'm sure.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

It's like, you know when you date your ex girlfriend and you find out she was from Wisconsin. You hate Wisconsin. For no reason. Or whatever football team she liked. I hate that. Yeah, that makes sense. People listen to Fred Durst to the point where in 2025, things he said 12 years ago still have political weight.

[Brady]

And I guess that 2012, he also described Putin as a great guy with clear moral principles and a nice person. But again, hey, look, people are saying.

[John Holmberg]

Hitler was Time magazine man of the Year, and nobody got mad at Time magazine 10, 12 years later, like, well, you swung and missed on that one, gang. Plenty of times that somebody's been like, he's pretty cool. I like this guy. And then they find out later he's not that great a guy. IDI Amin was everybody's favorite. Getting keys to cities and being named the official king of Scotland, of Uganda. Scotland. Loved the guy. Can't. Yeah, I don't know. So anyway, the resurgence of Fred Durst, you know, Putin withstands. Standing, seemingly kind of like him again. He dumped her back in 20. Yeah, but back in 2012, we all hated Fred Durst. So everything he said, you're like, and now there's something about Fred Durst that seems likable, like he's in on the joke now. He's no longer the arrogant Fred Durst that he. Maybe he is, but it's coming across different. And he's kind of fun now. I'll give him a little grace on the Putin swing and miss in 2012. I might have said some things about Putin back in the early 2000s that today wouldn't age well. You know, who knows? But I don't think we can hold Fred Durst to his thoughts from 13 years ago, can we?

[Brett Vesely]

If you're really going after Fred Durst for your political.

[John Holmberg]

I will never listen to another Fred Durst thing again in my life, because long time ago, he said something nice about Putin. I don't know. I don't know anything about it. He married a woman who's from the area, so, I mean, he had some kind of insider info, more than just CNN and Fox.

[Brady]

And there were plenty of comments like, yeah, he did it for the nookie.

[John Holmberg]

All right, that's not enough. Don't do that. Another thing I wanted to talk about before we get to the Brady Report. It has been confirmed, and I don't. Are you a mosquito guy? Do you get bit?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, not as bad as my wife. She gets slammed, I think.

[Brady]

You're saying the mosquitoes have been.

[John Holmberg]

It's. There's a 400. 400% increase in mosquito like calls. Megan just sent it to me because she Goes, you're not alone. I can't be outside with socks on and not get bit in the feet. And I don't know why my feet are the target, but they are the target. I get devoured. My buddy Joe comes over for Steelers games and we have to put this clear lotion all over our bodies. The second the weather gets perfect, they attack just us, but they said Maricopa County, a vector control division. Awesome place to work. I think it monitors and deals with mosquito populations. Say they've increased 400% compared to last year. That's crazy.

[Brady]

It is amazing there. I mean, walking the dogs at night, it's a pain. You got.

[John Holmberg]

Do you get. Are you all cutter?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I never did that as a kid living here. I've never had to wear mosquito juice as a kid here, I always smelled like off. When I was a child living in Indiana and West Virginia and all that, I never ever, ever had to wear it here. That was one of the benefits of living here. We got rain then we had puddles. We had. We had more monsoons then we do now. What's changed? Why are they here?

[Brady]

That same question.

[John Holmberg]

People like, oh, it's different. We had a big rainy season. I lived here. Brett, you and I both used to.

[Brett Vesely]

We used to have real monsoons.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We used to play in the canals when they drain them and that's mosquito heaven. There were none. Nobody ever got mosquito bites.

[Brett Vesely]

Woodland park was a drainage thing and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we did it on. Brady has parties in his storm drains. That's used to never have mosquitoes down there. It's constant. I can't go outside after if it's four in the afternoon. If I'm not coated. Say it, John, say it. If I'm not coated in a white liquid goo, I can't. I can't be outside.

[Brady]

And they'll still it like twice. But growing up every now in the summer in Ohio, growing up in Ohio this summer, they'd have those trucks go by and fog.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They exterminate the town. Just these huge things, of course. And they're doing that here now. Now what changed? Who's the asshole is what I'm asking. Who brought the mosquito eggs and said this would be fun? Because they weren't here when I was a kid. They didn't live here. You'd have to go out to like farmland kind of far off Gilbert to even like kind of go, hey, I think I just got. I got hit by a mosquito. They don't live here. And now they're everywhere. And I'M the target, and I hate it. I got one on my hand right now. Now it's the worst. Can't stop scratching. I got holes in my neck because I'm just digging into my neck, and my feet are. Look like I got. My feet look like a hot girl at a bus stop. I'm covered in bumps.

[Brady]

I must be getting them just in time or something. It's not like they're. They're on the leg, and I'm. But I haven't had a mosquito bite in a long time.

[John Holmberg]

But then you're not getting targeted. They're very. The Are all.

[Brady]

I mean, like.

[John Holmberg]

But you're not getting hit. Yeah, they're very. Like, they pick and choose their victims.

[Brady]

I mean, I've still smacked a cup on my leg, and there's.

[John Holmberg]

You don't get bit.

[Brady]

There's blood.

[John Holmberg]

Megan's never been. The whole time. She could stand right next to me. I get people at my Steelers games, two or three of them. Like, I just. They don't bother me. Trip never gets bothered. They always say it's typo blood. It's not true because he's typo. Also, I don't know what it is, but it's 400 increase. They had 1500 complaints last year. It said it's out of control. Right now, they're at 6,000. So far, just people calling, going, hey, can we do something about this? This is my yard's.

[Brady]

Fog us, please. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Fog me. Yeah. Destroy the planet a little bit. Make my life easier.

[Brett Vesely]

They do in our neighborhood because all the houses get irrigation. And then behind us, there's a big park with a big, like, pond.

[John Holmberg]

Storm backyard.

[Brady]

Smell like citronella, too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm burning these giants sticks. They're. They're massive outdoor sticks that are, like, just. They. They emit smoke like I'm electing a pope.

[Brett Vesely]

It's still nothing, huh?

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, that helps. But I have to have it with me. I have to walk around, like, I'm sure.

[Brady]

So I bought a ceramic egg that you put the citronella thing in it. And it says on the box, 250 square feet. Covers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it doesn't.

[Brady]

Seems to be working out.

[John Holmberg]

One of those. Yeah, because you're not getting bit at all.

[Brady]

You walk around the. You know, underneath the patio.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you don't get bit.

[Brady]

Bit.

[Brett Vesely]

Does Ronnie get bit?

[John Holmberg]

You're not getting stung.

[Brady]

No, no one is.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, and you guys are jerks, and I hate everybody like you. I need to be around people of my own ilk. That you don't understand. If you're not a target of these bastards, then you can put out all the citronell you want and say it's working. If you're not. I'm not kidding. If I go outside 20, 25 bites later, I've got to try to figure out how to soak my feet in hot water so I can function. My legs are scabs. I'm just scratching like crazy. Who's the wise ass who just dropped mosquito eggs all over this city? I've lived here for years, was never a problem.

[Brady]

Ever.

[John Holmberg]

It was a joke to buy off. When I was a kid I didn't even know they sold.

[Brady]

Now you can get the off skin.

[John Holmberg]

Tastic smell like I think they're behind it. I think you get into a city this size, off people are like we're missing the whole market of Phoenix. Go drop some eggs on those people. And the next thing you know everybody's got off in house. Now that was never a thing when I grew up here.

[Brady]

Mother conspiracy.

[John Holmberg]

It's the off conspiracy. It's my Alex Jones off conspiracy.

[Brett Vesely]

There we go.

[John Holmberg]

They did it. They dropped the contrails down here on the. It was a mosquito free zone and now look at you. I tell you what, some of those mosquitoes are actually little robotic drones that get inside your body start giving you homosexual thoughts and covet.

[Brady]

Our neighborhood has been been mosquitoes, crickets and the desert toads.

[John Holmberg]

Got a lot of that going on. Well, you live by that storm.

[Brady]

Plagues.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah man, the plague. You got the plague and you listen to you. You sound horrible. Yeah, he's got the plague, but yeah. Good Brett, you get. You get hit too.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, not as. Not as bad man.

[John Holmberg]

I can't function like this, but I get hit. Yeah, basically the. The article says you're not imagining it. This is new and there's a lot going on. That's horrible. Can't go anywhere. I watch people at Madison, they have those soccer games for their kids. I drive by and I'm literally on the stoplight watching people hose. I feel like I'm back in Indiana.

[Brady]

Are there banners off banners in the soccer field?

[John Holmberg]

You know what? I'm gonna start paying attention. Did they sponsor this? God damn off people did it. You deep mother are doing this to us. You should probably go get some of that bug spray. It's the big deet.

[Brady]

Bought it last week.

[John Holmberg]

Why are you buying it? You don't get stung.

[Brady]

I just don't like there. You're getting bit.

[John Holmberg]

You said you didn't No.

[Brady]

I get bit, but I don't get a mosquito.

[John Holmberg]

Confusing.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

In other words, I don't get the. The lumps like you'd get a mosquito bite.

[John Holmberg]

How do you know?

[Brady]

Because I'm smacking them off my legs.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't mean you're getting bit. Hit. Just hanging out.

[Brady]

Well, there's. You hit one of those blood.

[John Holmberg]

That's just yours. That's my blood. You're juicing all my blood out of them. Trust me. I got one flying around my house, like right now. It's like a bat. He's been sucking blood out of me constantly.

[Brett Vesely]

Jurassic mosquitoes.

[John Holmberg]

He'll fly by the tv. Jesus Christ. What was that? He's got, like, lights on him now. He's so big. He's huge and I can't catch him. The little bastard is awesome.

[Brady]

He's pretty quick.

[John Holmberg]

He's been alive for like eight weeks. Sucking the life.

[Brady]

Super Skeeters.

[John Holmberg]

Sucking the life out of. Boy, I know that phrase. Just like a pony. Yeah. No, it's. It's huge. And encephalitis and all the stuff that they carry and all this, they're. When you smack them, the blood is them blowing up. All the blood they sucked out of the last guy. Me.

[Brady]

I'm thinking they've been on my calf for a while and then.

[John Holmberg]

No, you would feel that.

[Brady]

Oh, no. I mean, I. I feel them.

[John Holmberg]

But you don't.

[Brady]

That night, the needle's in there, they're.

[John Holmberg]

Sucking, and you get no response from.

[Brady]

That and no residual effect.

[John Holmberg]

And what do you care?

[Brady]

Because it still itches. It's still. I mean, not.

[John Holmberg]

He is the most confusing person I've ever met in my life. Brad.

[Brady]

A fly. Like a deer fly. So worse, the bite there.

[John Holmberg]

Can we go back to your house and do stuff with your dad right now?

[Brett Vesely]

I'd like a week be less confusing.

[Brady]

Born to tad down. But it never. It doesn't leave a. It doesn't leave a bump later.

[John Holmberg]

But you. But it itches.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Well, then what do you care? That you're getting stung?

[Brady]

That you know you're getting stung?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but if it doesn't do anything.

[Brady]

It'S the tree and the forest sucking away on my leg.

[John Holmberg]

So it's just the pure disgusting biblical nature of the sucking that you know. Yeah.

[Brady]

I mean, they're still on you.

[John Holmberg]

All right. They on you and they're sucking.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Even though there's absolutely no effect to it, you still cover yourself in mosquito juice, for sure.

[Christian]

Really?

[Brady]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

Strange thing.

[Brady]

You know, if I I don't have a horse tail that I can brush them off.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but if you don't know they're there or you don't know that, you know they're okay, but they're not doing anything. It's like having nothing.

[Brady]

It's like, oh, no, they're. They're sucking.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, but you don't have a response to the sucking?

[Brady]

Well, like you come in and you say, look at the mosquito bites.

[John Holmberg]

Bumps in the itching. I'm doing many of those.

[Brady]

But they're still biting.

[John Holmberg]

Well, my point is, is if there's no feeling afterwards, what does it matter that they bit you?

[Brady]

Because they keep coming back. Yes, but I don't have to deal with.

[John Holmberg]

You don't understand what I'm saying. If you get bit by something and it doesn't do anything to you.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Does it matter?

[Brady]

It still irritates when they're so.

[John Holmberg]

It's itchy jabbing you so you get itchy.

[Brady]

Not, it's not itchy. You just know something's jabbing you.

[John Holmberg]

I don't ever feel them biting me. I feel them when they're gone on when the welts start.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, I'll see them sometimes and.

[John Holmberg]

You know, if you get lucky and you see one.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, sure.

[Brady]

Got any. Anything.

[John Holmberg]

But I do that because it's going to hurt. If I let it stay on my arm, I'm gonna have a scab where I peel.

[Brady]

What do you think about the. The diseases?

[John Holmberg]

I don't think about that. I just. I. It's too late for me. I go outside, I've got 20 different bites. I got one just now on my finger in this building. I get. I get, get. It's constant. They love me. I'm so sugary sweet. I'm delicious. And I've known that for years. But. But if I was getting stung by something and it didn't leave anything I'm.

[Brady]

Not doing, you still swat it off because it's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but I mean, that's like a fly. I don't put. Yeah, but I don't put anything on me to keep flies away.

[Brady]

But that's the nice thing about the spray. They don't fly around you.

[John Holmberg]

Then. You're confusing, but I'm still interested in your talk. It's very strange. Ian Schwartz, Channel 3 weatherman, just said, get this, a powerful indoor insect trap. These things work for the indoors, leaving on at night. I know a lot about these ancient efforts, and I've tried just about everything. So he's one, too. He gets it's it's miserable to be a mosquito target. It is.

[Brett Vesely]

Send me that link, Ian. I need that too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It is brutal. And by the way, to Ian Schwartz, you. You ruined my weekend. It's gonna rain Saturday. And so they moved the Fall League championship baseball game from Saturday to Friday to avoid the giant storms.

[Brady]

Well.

[John Holmberg]

And now it's not gonna rain till I was gonna put the top back on the car and all that I'm getting. It's not gonna rain till tomorrow. You guys screwed up my whole weekend. I think weathermen had like a picnic plan they didn't want anybody to go to except them and Horton and Ian and all those guys got on. You bastards wrecked everything with all your lies.

[Brady]

Look out. It's coming Saturday and Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

Like 2:30. It started to drizzle a little and then it rained some. But it wasn't like this epic downpour they kept talking about. Evidently that's coming tomorrow. We'll see.

[Brett Vesely]

It's about time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Anyway. Well, Brady, you're one of the lucky ones that still wears deet. Even though you're not affected by these bastards. It's like taking AIDS medication. You don't have any shades. It's true. Do you get bit? Toledo. You don't either.

[Christian]

Not really.

[John Holmberg]

Both you do. You wear deet.

[Christian]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Because you don't get bit. Right. That makes sense what he just said.

[Christian]

But they're annoying, John.

[John Holmberg]

I know they're annoying. It's just very odd. I just don't like them being around yourself. Yeah, I know. I get that. But they don't do anything to you, so it doesn't matter.

[Brady]

Have you been hit much? In Mesa. You see? Are there more mosquitoes?

[Christian]

No, flies.

[John Holmberg]

You're more worried about the suckers. Like you just don't like something touching you. Yeah. Even if you feel it or not.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Look at his face. Very strange. Because I. I wish I had your disease. Which was? Nothing happens to me when they bite me. Because then I just go about my business. I wouldn't smell like off every day. It's not a cologne. It stinks.

[Christian]

Yeah. They have different scents.

[John Holmberg]

I know. And they all stink because deep down they all stink. And some are oily and gross. I have. They love me so much that I put this weird lotion on and I coat it on thick and I can see them in it. Like burrowing through the lotion. Must suck. Sweet sweet home bird blood.

[Brady]

Worth it.

[John Holmberg]

It is that they die in the swamp. But they can't get enough. I am phenomenal to the taste. Ask anyone. Come over here and lick me.

[Christian]

Wait a minute. The Christian on the show claims he's getting immaculate mosquito bites.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, yes, that's what we're hearing. And he still fights them off. You're wasting DEET 759. The 8 o' clock word is show s h o w. That's the second to last of the words we'll be giving you to take it in the app the last day of it. Show S H O W. That's the 8 o' clock word. And you can do it right now on our app. Find the promo box, put show, and maybe we'll give you a thousand bucks. It's that easy. Simple stuff. In the meantime, Mr. Pristine bite over here is about to give you the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at AllProchade. AllProchade.com is the place to go as you cover up that patio and sit outside in the mosquitoes covered in DEET with your citronella candles. But you know what? At least you don't have that glare knocking you down. Another thing that the shades do is protect the paint. And you know, if you've got pavers and stuff, put that shade out there, there. The sun's damage doesn't do anything to the table, to the chairs, to all your stuff. It gives a little more life. If you've got teak furniture, for God's sakes, get a shade for that. It's amazing what the sun can do to your stuff. And if you shade it, the sun's fighting a little harder to do it. You're going to get some more life out of your patio furniture as well. Amazing deal going on right now. You get a motorized shade or blind right there, they'll throw in a heater on top of it, an outdoor heater so you can sit and enjoy the nighttime weather when you don't need the shade. It's perfect. AllProchade.com that's where you go.

[Brady]

Brady Reporter Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Brett Vesely]

Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Butter Day and National Homemade Bread Day. A couple of baseless fun facts. Aerosmith became the first major artist to release a song as an exclusive digital download. It was in June of 1994. The song was Head first was available as a 4 megabyte WAV file to CompuServe subscribers. Took about 60 to 90 minutes to complete the download.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, just got a text from Ian Schwartz, weatherman at Channel three. It said yes, sorry, we were way off on that huge Bust on the storm. You should give some money back. Your paycheck this week should go to charity. Horton McLaughlin rolling fund.

[Christian]

You get it right, you get the whole fund.

[John Holmberg]

And they're all in cahoots. There isn't one channel that goes. Those idiots at Channel three say it's gonna rain tomorrow. They couldn't be more off. All of them said the same stuff.

[Brady]

The Morgan Freeman movie, 10 items or less was the first film that was legally available for downloading in 2006.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Brett Vesely]

Never seen it, never heard of it.

[Brady]

There's only one NHL team that's won every time they've made it to the Stanley cup finals.

[John Holmberg]

How many times is it?

[Brady]

Three? Three. Zero.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that would be their Florida Panthers.

[Brady]

Incorrect.

[John Holmberg]

No Tampa Bay Lightning or two.

[Brady]

Nope.

[Christian]

Vegas.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it might be the Bruins.

[Christian]

Vegas is only one now.

[John Holmberg]

The Bruins are way back. They went along early days. Vegas has only been Colorado.

[Brady]

Bingo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The avalanche. They got three of them.

[Brady]

1996, 2001 and 2022. From 2011 through 2012, China produced more cement than the US did throughout the entire 20th century.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

Damn.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they have nine cities bigger than Chicago. There's some stuff going on. You don't realize how many until you put it in perspective like that. They have nine Chicago sized cities. That's ridiculous. And that's. You know. And then probably. I don't know how many. They probably have 20 or 25 Phoenix sized cities. The place is packed with Chinese people. They're everywhere. And they need concrete.

[Brady]

Someone did another list of things that happened 10 years ago this week. Charlie Sheen announced he was HIV positive on the Today show. Said he knew about. He's known about it for four years. And he had been paying people to keep it a secret to the tune of 10 million bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady]

Jared from Subway was sentenced to 15 years in prison same week.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. We found out about Charlie Sheen's aids and Jared in the same week.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

How about that?

[Brady]

He'll be eligible for parole 2029.

[Christian]

John, use your logic, man. Brady's got that dirty blood. The mosquitoes ain't gonna do that. He's got one kidney.

[John Holmberg]

But again, that is true. I didn't think of that. You get that nasty unfiltered blood running through you like.

[Brady]

But it's been that way even while I had.

[Christian]

But you don't get welts.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Tumor before. Yeah, yeah. They don't like. But you got the look.

[Brady]

It's been a long time since I had a mosquito welt.

[John Holmberg]

Then you still protect against it. Yeah, that's weird. That is weird.

[Christian]

Do you use that citronella a lot? Because I don't think that works at all.

[John Holmberg]

It's like buying locks for windows on the 20th floor.

[Christian]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

John Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The 98 KUPD. It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Boy, that team at Doug Hopkins office is amazing. Not only will Doug Hopkins buy your home for cash as is and get that deal done lickety split, his team is unbelievable. So if you've got a place that needs a ton of work, Doug will help you out by making that cash offer as is. Or he'll list your place if it's already perfect. All you have to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com I had a friend text me the other day and he was skeptical. He was like, there's got to be a catch, man. Math is absolute. It can't lie. So we went to the computer, put his info in the little [e-mail] and found out that his loan, which he owes $523,000 over the next 27 years on, could be paid off in eight years and he will save 389,000 in interest. That's insane. You should be skeptical, ask questions. Then you'll see for yourself. It's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com.

[Brett Vesely]

Sickness so Janella don't work for you guys like those torches and all that kind of stuff work for you?

[John Holmberg]

I have to walk.

[Brett Vesely]

I haven't, I haven't used it.

[Brady]

It has on my patio. I gotta really.

[Christian]

I just never seen it work.

[John Holmberg]

But again, how do you know you don't go to bed and go, I got bit a bunch and every now.

[Brady]

And then I hit the lawn with the anti the insect removal. Like I think ortho or someone makes it and you put it on, throw.

[John Holmberg]

A little seeds on there.

[Christian]

Brady's skin is so tight, mosquito can't penetrate it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's it. It's breaking mosquitoes.

[Brady]

Goes pachyderm. It's like an elephant or I do.

[John Holmberg]

Like though that he's got all of the things I need for a guy who gets no bites. Yeah.

[Christian]

To your point, how do you know what works?

[John Holmberg]

How do you know if you're not affected? How do you know it's working off skin tastic.

[Brady]

Fantastic.

[John Holmberg]

But how do you know? You don't know if it matter. If you didn't wear it, it would be the same.

[Brady]

Put it on.

[John Holmberg]

But that's the point we're making.

[Brady]

It's work.

[John Holmberg]

If you go outside and you don't even know when they sting you or bite you.

[Brady]

No, I do. I know you don't because I'm always smacking my leg.

[Christian]

I think it's psychosomatic.

[John Holmberg]

Me too. Because if they don't leave a welt and it doesn't itch, who cares?

[Brady]

Get off me, Skeeter.

[John Holmberg]

You're weird. Yeah, I wouldn't put any defensive stuff on, but who knows.

[Brady]

We've got a warning from a non profit called a public interest research group. They released the 40th annual trouble and Toyland report. In the past they focused on things like choking hazards. But they say AI is emerging as a new threat to look out for for kids toys. They tested a bunch of toys that use AI to have full on conversations with kids. And some of the conversations weren't exactly pg.

[John Holmberg]

AI is going to start molesting your kids.

[Brady]

Some of these toys talk in depth about sexually explicit topics, will offer advice on where a child can and find matches like book matches.

[John Holmberg]

Like light and fire matches.

[Brady]

Yeah, light and fires and knives and act dismayed that leave kids to fear stuff. Basically these toys are talking and giving topics such as what toys are there. And that's the thing about it, they don't list the toys.

[John Holmberg]

They don't. This was your choice to tell the story.

[Brady]

One toy they tested even recorded 10 extra seconds after kids stopped talking. So there could be privacy issues too.

[Brett Vesely]

What toys?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, what toys is though?

[Brady]

Gotta check out the the list on PIRG which is the public interest receipt Research group website.

[John Holmberg]

So you don't have any other toys listed or the AI sites that these kids are going to?

[Brady]

Yeah, they're just giving you the site.

[John Holmberg]

That will molest your children and also teach them where the matches are.

[Brady]

And if you missed out on the bear rest that Starbucks was putting out, it was a 2995 cup limited time they blew out of them. Walmart's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

What's that?

[Christian]

I didn't know that was real. I thought that was a joke.

[Brady]

Yeah, no, they made these glass cups that were called Bears blue cap. They went nuts for them. Well Walmart has done their version of it. It's basically the same bear with a blue cap on it. Yeah, and you can get that for 22 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody said Brady, are you using mosquito stuff? Everybody's struggling to wonder why. Because you're worried about aids?

[Brady]

No, not so much that it's the other diseases.

[Christian]

Not so much, but a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Is it in there?

[Brady]

I don't think mosquitoes are.

[John Holmberg]

Just in case. Like, if I was with Charlie Sheen and we were in my backyard, I would definitely be covered in deep. Just in case one of the ones that gets him gets on me. If you, Magic Johnson and Charlie Sheen are walking through kind of a wet field, killed. Oh, I better be covered in mosquito stuff because whatever's being taken from those two and given to me, I ain't taking that chance.

[Christian]

Stay out of the water.

[John Holmberg]

He's got that fresh tip going in and out of those two. Yeah, right into me.

[Brady]

That's good. I. I deed up.

[John Holmberg]

I did up a lot.

[Brady]

How about this?

[John Holmberg]

My walk with Sheen and Magic John.

[Christian]

Please take caution with mosquitoes. Back in July, my. My wife was number 18 in Maricopa county who got West Nile virus.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to that it caused.

[Christian]

Spinal meningitis and encephalitis. She was in the hospital for a month, rehab for a month, then had to learn to walk, talk, etc. She's still recovering from it. Please be careful. See, I think we're trying.

[John Holmberg]

I'm trying and it doesn't matter, right? Like, I can't. I can't get away from them. They destroy me. I'm not kidding. 20 bites a day if I'm outside for a few seconds. I go out to play basketball pretty much every day. I have to be coated. I'm basically lubed up like a hook. I'm head to toe. I'm just covered in gel.

[Brady]

I've got a quick smuggler's news story.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Hello, my friends. These are stories about people carrying contraband and getting busted. We call it the smuggler's news. Jesse Angus Martinez was stopped at the border. Tijuana, Mexico. The US Border. Officers noticed a bulge in his crotch. Wasn't drugs. He was smuggling two parakeets. Yeah, actually they. They shot the parakeets up to numb.

[John Holmberg]

Them or to kind of keep them dead. Yeah, they shatnered him. I like to call that shatnering.

[Brady]

Seen as corpse a lot. I forget the. Here's a picture of the.

[John Holmberg]

Adorable crotch parakeets.

[Brady]

Between 1998 and 2008, more than 8,000 of the green and orange parakeets were captured by border patrol.

[John Holmberg]

So they're getting good money.

[Brady]

How many more that are coming through?

[John Holmberg]

How many are they not catching? Yeah, they still like the little bird.

[Brady]

If he's convicted, which looks like there's a pretty good chance he. He's looking at a fine of up to two. $250,000. 20 years in prison.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. 20 years for smuggling a couple of baby parrots in.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is it that bad? Well, look at.

[Brady]

Look at how those lovebirds have done. Well, they're great, though.

[John Holmberg]

Like, they didn't do any damage. Maybe they're the reason we have mosquitoes.

[Brady]

That's your smuggler's niche.

[John Holmberg]

Jumped out of it. Yeah, I don't think anything happens with that. I know you don't want to bring in foreign, you know, things, but it's too late.

[Brady]

There's a guy that was pulled over for drunk driving. James Howard, 53, in his Chevy Suburban. It was swerving. He then slammed into a Volkswagen, which had two passengers in it. The highway patrol officer who arrived at the crash scene reported seeing Howard in a large Budweiser beer can in his right hand, which then he moved into the center console. Officer finally said, what's in the can? The reason why a guy swerved. He was filling the can with urine. He was peeing, trying to drive. Slammed into the Volkswagen wagon.

[John Holmberg]

He just got open Budweiser cans to pee in in his car. He was drinking, too.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There's definitely, like, a. Well, it's double use.

[Christian]

He got a serial killer peen. He can make it in that little can hole.

[Brady]

That's why it's all over the place, probably.

[Christian]

Oh, so it was all over the place. I missed that.

[John Holmberg]

I tried to pee in a Gatorade bottle once on my drive from Phoenix.

[Christian]

Oh, is this the vacuum story?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I filled up the hole once. I popped the big boy out of there. There. It started to float around like I was in space. The weirdest thing I've ever dealt with. 90 miles an hour on the i10 just outside of Palm Springs, I peed. And I realized that day that what you put in your body comes out in the exact same amount. So if you drink 12 ounces of Gatorade, you're going to pee 12 ounces of Gatorade plus what you had in there before. So I got to the top, and I had to clamp up because my tip. My tip was in. My tip was in my own drink. And I'm like, Jesus. And then I went to rip it out real fast. And as I did that, it vacuumed out. A bunch of water just started to float and spill all over the inside of my Dodge Ram. Spilled pee Everywhere. And all I was trying to do is cut a little time. Ended up pissing all over myself. Might as well just go on. And then, you know, you've got a two or three bottles of pee you have to get rid of. Stupid.

[Brady]

Got a 22 year old Greek kid fighting for his life in the hospital after he swallowed an entire hamburger for a joke. This happened last Thursday. They didn't name the dude, but he's on a ventilator right now. He was taken to the intensive care unit at the G Genomatis hospital in Korapi, Greece.

[John Holmberg]

You did a one time to burger?

[Brady]

A friend who was there at the time said he. Yeah, he said the entire burger and.

[John Holmberg]

Just go back it. Yep. I don't even think that's possible.

[Brady]

Challenge. Well, yeah, it didn't go well. Said he got up, he kind of ran away for a second.

[John Holmberg]

Then he started to choke to death. You can't do that. Your body's not supposed to do that.

[Brady]

Then he passed out.

[John Holmberg]

The big problem, did they reach in and pull it out.

[Brady]

He made a move to come back to his buddies, trying to, you know, shake it out of there.

[John Holmberg]

Was it a.

[Brady]

It sounds like it was bigger than.

[John Holmberg]

A slider, but your body would even allow you to do that.

[Brady]

And the big problem is, you know, now he's on the ventilator. Is the oxygen deprivation to the brain.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. How is. How big is this guy's mouth to get a whole burger in there, let alone his throat? Think about that. Even a cheeseburger from McDonald's. Shove the whole thing in your mouth. Stop. Yeah, yeah, you're Greek.

[Brady]

They're thinking he stopped breathing for a full two minutes.

[John Holmberg]

Did he win the challenge? That's all that's important here.

[Brady]

No, the.

[John Holmberg]

Now the guy's paid up. Damn it. Was it at least on TikTok so he could go viral?

[Brady]

That's what I was wondering if it was that grinder.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's definitely on grindr. And he is the most popular grinder boy ever.

[Christian]

John, beware of Gatorade bottles. My platoon sergeant was peeing in a Gatorade bottle in our tent in Afghanistan. He dropped it and it fell flat on the bottom. When that happened, it shot right back up full on. Hit him in the open mouth.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, that didn't happen in my world. I just had pee floating around inside the car. I was go. It's the weirdest thing. You look at a lid of the hole in a Gatorade bottle and you think that I'll slide right in there. And for some reason, your body's like, oh, we're going in. And then you plump up a little bit while you're peeing. I'm like, oh. So I filled the hole. So it was a. It was a pull, and some weird scientific thing happened. It wasn't a splash. It literally floated around for a second and then fell down on me.

[Brady]

Same thing happened with me with a straw. I mean, I filled the straw, and.

[John Holmberg]

You put your penis in a straw. That's nice. You said you didn't like sucking.

[Brady]

That wasn't. That was.

[John Holmberg]

We get it.

[Brady]

I got a couple of radio videos. First one's a little WWE John Cena. Oh, audio.

[John Holmberg]

This annoying John Cena thing that everybody's putting at the end of videos. They introduce them after somebody gets smacked.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Hit by a car, something, something.

[Christian]

No, no, you'll like it.

[John Holmberg]

No, I like. I like them. I'm just getting a little tired of the cena thing happening.

[Brady]

Yeah. I hadn't seen one in a while. Yeah.

[Christian]

Come on, now.

[John Holmberg]

It's not gonna work. Toledo's computer's broken.

[Brady]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

There we go. There it is. Way to go. All right. Here we. Oh, it's. Where are we? Oh, Jesus. What is that thing? Holy smokes. It's some sort of weird. A horse. I don't know. It's got a. I don't know what that thing is. And it kicks some kid in the head. It just jumps straight up in the air and kicks a kid in the face. Oh, man. I don't know where we are there, but cancel my plans to Ghana.

[Brady]

This is at Dale's gender reveal. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it is. It's covered in pink powders and. And it kicked the blue side. So it's a girl. It's a mean, angry girl. Girl.

[Brady]

What's for breakfast?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. We're in one of Toledo's favorite eel in a cup. It's. Oh, God. It shot out of the cup. And she's eating it. Right out of Houston.

[Brady]

In the Chicago Bulls championship jersey.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like watching Asians eat.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Hold it. Damn it.

[Brady]

Look at that thing coiled around. Look at it, John.

[Christian]

That thing's fighting back.

[Brady]

Oh.

[Brett Vesely]

That works.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, get it off.

[Brady]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

I'm working on it. Stop looking at it twice. An Asian woman eating has made me throw up. I don't know what it is about my bigotry that I don't like watching Asians eat. Look at.

[Christian]

Come on, now.

[John Holmberg]

You travel to that. You pay to go be with that.

[Brady]

I did that.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. You do.

[Brady]

You gotta eat one of those next. No.

[John Holmberg]

An Asian woman never. No, don't do that. Don't take Brazen the eel. You're gonna be hungry for it again an hour later. Oh, for Christ's sake.

[Brady]

This is an old.

[John Holmberg]

It's just a shell like tip for those who listen to me puke. It was a shell. She put some Brady sauce in it and then an eel shot out of there. This is why porkop was closed. And it went right into her mouth. And she started. And it's long and she is in a Bulls championship jersey. So they got some of the legit stuff over there. Wow.

[Brady]

This happened in 1977 South Africa Grand Prix. This guy's car basically stalls on the side of the road.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Larry McFeely]

Zorsi's shadow stopped opposite the pits and a Marshall crossing the track with a fire extinguisher.

[John Holmberg]

A dude tried to run across, crossed.

[Larry McFeely]

The shred extinguisher struck Price's head, causing fatal injuries. But the car continued at full speed until it crashed.

[John Holmberg]

The dude that got hit hit the driver in the head and killed him too.

[Larry McFeely]

Process. The race continued. Shadow stopped opposite the pits and a Marshall crossing the track with a fire extinguisher was struck and killed instantly by Price's car. The extinguisher struck Price's head, causing fatal injuries, but the car continued. Continued at full speed until it crashed at Crowthorne corner.

[John Holmberg]

So the other dude who hit the guy with the fire extinguisher got hit by the fire extinguisher. He died immediately.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then his car just went into a wall. Holy smoke.

[Larry McFeely]

Was struck and killed instantly.

[John Holmberg]

What kind of plan did they have back then for Rex to just have dudes foot Traffic across the 200 mile an hour freeway? Race cars. That's insane.

[Christian]

How do you lose situational awareness?

[John Holmberg]

How don't they have a yellow flag? Well, then they drive a dude out to the wrecked car. I guess I've been there a while.

[Brady]

You're gonna cross the road. They're coming at you at 200 miles per hour.

[John Holmberg]

I can do it. Where's my fire extinguisher? I need something to anchor me down a little bit too. Slow me up. That dude got clipped by a cargo in 200 and his fire extinguisher hit the dude that hit him. That's in. Yeah. That had to be the day. They're like, from here on out, we're just driving to the wrecks.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And we're going to slow everybody down.

[Christian]

Go directly to it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm not Going to have you guys running across the road, use our radios.

[Christian]

To tell people there's something on.

[John Holmberg]

Did they not have CVS back then? 77. Everybody in America had one.

[Christian]

I think so. All right, your last one's not coming up.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

No worries, Brett.

[Brady]

He's back.

[John Holmberg]

He's back, everybody.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, they're not.

[John Holmberg]

They're.

[Brett Vesely]

They're a little mild today.

[John Holmberg]

That's okay. So he's us back in.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

I just watched an Asian eating a living eel and it made me puke.

[Brett Vesely]

This one's more of a funny one.

[John Holmberg]

All right, there's a girl with her legs crossed. This might be a boy. The guy comes in the room, she's. Oh, Jesus Christ. She's got a beautiful body, but her face. Oh, that's funny. Her face is completely deformed. But that body was. You watch her eat. No, I couldn't watch that. I couldn't watch that thing eat. There's no way I could watch that woman. Let me see that again. Go back to that other one and then pause it on the lady's face. I gotta see that because I looked away right as her face popped up. The body's outstanding. Great legs, good shape. Dude walks in the door of pause. All right. Oh, my God. It looks like a rat. It looks like she's been crossbred with a rat. She's got little tiny front rat teeth.

[Brett Vesely]

Neck down.

[John Holmberg]

Great. Neck down is amazing.

[Christian]

She might not be Asian. You might be able to watch.

[John Holmberg]

You know what's crazy? She spent money on a little tummy tattoo to be sexier, but not once did she go to the dentist and fix what's going on there there. She could have taken the 100 bucks there and said, at least give me two more. Whatever nation she's from, dentistry is not expensive.

[Brady]

That's an easy fix.

[John Holmberg]

It's like a dollar. She's got nice cans. She's in great shape. She's got a little f toy tattoo on her, on her hip and that face. And then the guy comes in, he pulls a bag out of his. Cuz that's what you do. I think. Yeah. How dare she even buy a bikini. Bikini. And no money should be spent on that girl anywhere else except that mouth. All right, sorry, go ahead.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, there's a bicycle action here.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody on a bicycle riding down the road, flying down the road, getting on a wheelie, Getting. Always flying down a hill. He's standing on a. On his seat. He's doing a stand up wheelie. He's got the stand up wheelie he's going a thousand miles an hour down a hill, doing a wheelie, standing on the seat, making the turn, trying to. Oh, he's going right into a house. Oh, he missed the truck.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we ran into a cement wall. Oh, my God.

[Christian]

Curves always mess them up.

[John Holmberg]

Did the guy who get a stolen bike back what?

[Brett Vesely]

It's pretty messed up.

[John Holmberg]

Fred's back, everybody.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, we've seen this one before. Let me just.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Oh. Oh, no. I don't like this at all. The shallow bomb. It's Terry Crews with a vagina. That is the biggest woman I've ever seen. Muscular.

[Christian]

She might have a china down there.

[Brett Vesely]

And there's no finish. This is just.

[John Holmberg]

There's a finish. All right. It is two giant D cup breasts on Terry Crews and also a vagina. And remember the rumors about Terry Crews being gay for a minute or getting raped by that guy? And he got upset about it. He actually brought up something that happened to me. Yeah, there is a little china thing going on there. There's a. There's a three incher hanging off that lady. Wow. I don't see the problem. She looks good to me. All right, all right, here we go. All right, here we go. Hey, hold my beer, Ted. Lasso. Momo. There's a guy spinning a bike. Jesus Christ. You know when you lift up your bikes, the back tire and you spin that, you spin the pedals anyway and the. And the wheel just goes and goes and goes and goes.

[Christian]

You did a version of that with a member of this shoe.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Two hill. He's just lifted up the back thing and then pulled his pants down and put the spinning wheel in his ass crack. That's just awful, people. That's part of the Epstein files. By the way, Clinton and Trump were doing that, too. I spin the wheel real fast and you put your butthole on it.

[Brett Vesely]

Little grade of cheese for you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's a lady grating cheese off of her foot into the mouth of a guy who's wearing a ski mask mask. She's chunking off all of the dead skin from the bottom of her foot into his mouth.

[Brady]

Oh, delicious.

[John Holmberg]

God. That's all I got today, man.

[Brett Vesely]

I've got tons of emails still to go through, so there may be more in there.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sure you're going to have plenty to give back. Yuck. Well, there you go, everybody. I'm going to throw up on you. Show is the word for eight o'. Clock. S H o W you the second to last one we Got one more at nine. Be ready for it. Maybe walk away with a thousand bucks. I'm going to go clean up my mouth because it is puke filled. That was disgusting. Asians. I'm sorry, but watching you eat has gotten me two times. One was that lady was eating flies. And when I say that, I don't mean the Asian version. I mean real flies, not french flies. And this one was the eel. There goes your Brady report, everybody. It's 98. It's out of control. Now.

[Brady]

Come on down to the Ranch House Grill.

[John Holmberg]

Comfort food is your next meal.

[Larry McFeely]

Pork chili verde, chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great.

[John Holmberg]

Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix.

[Larry McFeely]

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[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. I'm living this. This simulation is broken that. I am actually in conversation with about four people on email debating whether or not it was Clinton or a horse that Trump blew. And one dude just sent me a video of Alex Jones saying he had proof that Trump. Trump had sexual relations with Clinton about seven years ago. Not that they had relations that Alex Jones was talking about it seven years ago. It's irrefutable. I got proof of it right here in my hands. I'm gonna play it in a little while, but I've got proof that Trump and Clinton are homosexual lovers.

[Christian]

All you got to do is click here.

[John Holmberg]

I got it figured out. No, I've got the. I've got the link and if you wanted, I can give it to you. But I'm warning you, you open this up and you're in the. You're in the hole, man. They're coming for you. What if Alex Jones called that shot?

[Christian]

He's been Jose Canseco.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Would we let him off the hook for the billion he owes the Sandy Hook people if he can get this one, right? Nope, I don't think so. But still, that was a rough. That was a rough but. But if he wins, you're like, maybe.

[Christian]

He gets another income stream.

[John Holmberg]

No, but maybe you start thinking to yourself, hold on a second. Maybe he wasn't wrong about anything. Thing. I'm telling you, man, I got video of it to Brady. I've been talking about it for a long time.

[Brady]

You and I compound that.

[John Holmberg]

Which one?

[Brady]

He walked through the one reporter that had artwork that Epstein had.

[John Holmberg]

I was at his house. Epstein's home had, like, Clinton and dresses. Yeah, Clinton knows on the dresses. They had cameras everywhere. Everywhere was cameras. And I seen it. I've seen Trump on his knees with a mouthful of bill, and I've been saying it for years. People call me crazy, and I'm the one who has to take the slings and arrows, but I'm willing to do it to stop the homosexual agenda. Brett, what if he's right? What if he wasn't just making stuff up and he's poor bastard. Wouldn't you feel bad if, like, he's been screaming this the whole time and it turns out, like, wow, he was right about that. I told you guys. You called me crazy. I know how I felt when we had a promo kit. I caught stealing, and I told everybody, hey, he's stealing. It's like, he would never do that. And everybody yelled at me, and I'm like, I watched him do it. I was Alex Jones for video. I watched him steal. He's taking it right now from a charity. He's a good kid. I saw it. Ah, you.

[Christian]

If only you could have caught the bigger thief years later.

[John Holmberg]

And then we caught him because he had. He lied about something. And they were like, ah. And I was exonerated. It felt great. If I had seen Trump blowing Clinton.

[Christian]

That sideswiped my car and was like, that's right.

[John Holmberg]

He lied about that, too.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He was a horrible person.

[Brady]

Was it your green truck?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You scraped your paint all over my. I don't know that that actually happened, bro. He's the one I told you I saw caught stealing. Nobody fired him for it.

[Christian]

You didn't tell me you're telling everybody else.

[John Holmberg]

I was screaming in the hallway, hey, kids outside stealing vcrs. It was back in the day when we needed VCRS for poor people. But you dropped them off. People dumped off all their stuff. I know how it feels. Homeburg me. Shout from the rooftops and everybody giggles. Now, try saying you saw Trump blow Clinton once. People call you crazy. Anyway, so I'm in a debate on this, and this guy's got. I've got video of Alex Jones saying that exact same thing seven years ago ago. That was a thing seven years ago. That should have gotten more legs. I've been right about it all. The contrails, the gay frogs, this. What if that's true, too? Gay frogs. They're sent here with their juices, and they get in your house. And then Brady's got frogs around his house. You didn't have them before. Did you Have a bunch of gay frogs? They go popping around your house. Next thing you know, everybody in your house is a homosexual. Have you noticed there's a lot more of them lately? It's the frogs and the contrails. They want us gay. We don't make more people. Alex is starting to make sense. That's scary. That's horrifying. But if you've got the video of him talking about that seven years ago, I have to take. I have to sit down and just go. There's a thing. Anyway, the Guadalupe replay was when we first discovered that Trump may have blown Clinton. And it got out of hand quickly. Quickly. And it was a lot of fun. Shatner's in there. 70s. Detective Brady's in there. We don't even know what it is, but here's your Guadalupe replay, everybody. We're late. We're really late. My fault. I don't know how that happened. Thought we were doing well. We're not. It's time for what Would Brady Do It? Brought to you by our friends at MMP Guns. MMP Guns has Arizona's largest inventory of firearms, farms, prices and service. That's just hard to beat. MMP guns.com inside Mo Money Pond, 12th street in Indian School. And 100 off. Is that right?

[Brett Vesely]

100 off. Yeah. The AR class or the Glock platform class right now through the end of the year. So good Christmas present.

[John Holmberg]

Great ones. Bray. Let's get right to it as you solve the world's problems quickly because we're. We're running behind. Says dear Brady, married for seven years. Just found out my husband was cheating on me for six of them with a lesbian woman who looks like A short man. Does this mean I was married to a gay?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

Well, that was quick.

[John Holmberg]

It just means that he's into little dudes.

[Brady]

He's with a woman. Wasn't a dude.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but I mean, you know. You know, we. So was that.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Lady we saw earlier was technically a woman.

[Brady]

That woman could be doing everything. Very adventuresome. That's my thought.

[John Holmberg]

You think that this little fella.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is because she's an ugly little man. Man. That she is willing to do anything. You are so you. Emily, you need to step it up, is what Brady's saying. The little lesbian man is giving up the back door. Yeah, probably. That might mean he's gay if he's pumping a little boy.

[Brady]

Girl could be leaning that way.

[John Holmberg]

Back door.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, man.

[Brady]

Get to work.

[John Holmberg]

Don't get that butch haircut, though.

[Brady]

Six years, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Don't do that.

[Brady]

I don't think he's staying in that. That relationship.

[John Holmberg]

Seven years for six. Six out of the lesbian woman on the side side.

[Brady]

You're pretty. Not pretty much. Not quitting that.

[John Holmberg]

And you can also say he's been outsourcing this. Things. Doing things. Doing things to her that you didn't want to do.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He's thinking of you, the little lesbian. He think of what he's doing. He's closing his eyes and rag. Doling that little weird lesbian boy.

[Brady]

Because how are things going right now?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it's still like, if she's like, oh, I don't like BJ's and I don't like doing this, but I do like. And he's like, okay, that's fine. He's not going to subject you to that. So we let this weird lesbian boy do it.

[Brett Vesely]

You're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

You're welcome. He outsourced the jobs you don't want to do. She's like a Mexican. She's doing the jobs you won't do anymore. Or at all.

[Brady]

And that's why I was asking, like, well, it is interesting because the marriage is great. It's been fantastic.

[John Holmberg]

We're fine. He's happy. He's got that weird thing.

[Brady]

Thing.

[John Holmberg]

And also you have to ask yourself, are you being kind of bitter about what he's doing on the side because it made you mad. So you look over and go, ew, she's ugly. Yeah. You just pick her up. I wonder how much short hair doesn't mean he's gay, though. Your question, does it? Is he gay? No, of course not.

[Brady]

What's the term on the. The short haircut, the get you Know the divorce cut.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, you get that breakup hair. Yeah, you do the haircut when you break up. Up. Dear Brady, I was wondering if a pizza oven is a good idea for my backyard remodel. I'm looking at one and it's 7, $500. The closer I get to the actual install, the more I wonder how much I'm going to use this. I'm going to leave it up to you, Brian. Pizza.

[Brady]

You don't use them as much as you think you do.

[John Holmberg]

You don't use them at all. Yeah, it would.

[Brady]

You'll use it the first couple of times. And you know, you have kids if you have kids.

[John Holmberg]

Kids, right. Or you won't have kids because of a pizza oven. Let's clear that, that terrible sentence. You can't get pregnant in a pizza oven. I mean, you can, but it takes two.

[Brady]

You have a fun pizza night. And if you don't have kids, you have. You invite some friends over. Let's make some pizzas. And it's about one.

[John Holmberg]

God, that's gay.

[Brady]

Two times.

[John Holmberg]

Let's make pizza. They deliver pizzas. It's a mess is what it is. And then cleaning it up sucks.

[Brett Vesely]

Pain in the ass.

[John Holmberg]

It's a pain in the ass.

[Brady]

Ass.

[John Holmberg]

I say, absolutely.

[Brady]

It's a good selling point. But you really don't use them as much as you think.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Dear Brady, if I broke up with someone five years ago and she still texts me to yell at me every once in a while that everything in her life's gone wrong since we broke up, I've blocked her. She actually emails me and then writes letters to the house talking about how bad her life is now. Deep down, I sort of actually like this. But my current girlfriend doesn't understand why I don't get a restraining order. I say it's because it makes it look like I care and actually don't, so I'm just gonna leave it up to you. How would you handle this, Jared?

[Brady]

I, I don't see it as a threat now, but I, I would, you know, think about my girlfriend. Definitely keep that, try to keep in tune with that saying. All right, you have to believe me on this. I mean, nothing's happening.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know that she thinks it's going to be a rekindling of love.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I think she's just like, why do you allow this? You can stop it, you know, with a restraining order or whatever, put her in jail or if it starts getting.

[Brady]

To the point where, I mean, I, I, I think it would be okay, Writing the ex back. The ex girlfriend. The one I'm in a relationship right now?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's going to drive her crazy.

[Brady]

Well, she's. If she's sounds like she's bananas already.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying. Contacting her is going to make it worse.

[Brady]

But I don't know if you can. I mean, by doing that, then you can. And if she takes it, if it goes worse, then you get the restraining order.

[Brett Vesely]

So she's. She's pissed off at him because her life went to crap after him.

[John Holmberg]

After they broke up. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Just text back.

[John Holmberg]

Good. Yeah. Yeah. That's another thing you should. I'm so glad your life sucks. That's what I would do too. I'm so happy that your life sucks without me. That means I won the breakup. You lose her, make her hate you, and then. Then if she does the thing next which is coming at you, you. Then you get the restraining order.

[Brady]

That's what I was saying.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Just writing the letter off.

[John Holmberg]

Hit her hard. Don't write a letter back going, I'm so sorry for Blah, blah. Just hit her hard and go, oh, you don't know how much joy I get every time you tell me your life sucks without me. Because I think maybe that would be like, well, now I can't write.

[Brady]

I think there's a pretty good chance at getting that reaction no matter what.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but.

[Brady]

But I think what I was saying is like, you get saying, not saying, I'm sorry I did this to you. No, it's just Zane, sorry I. Stop writing me.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't do that. That's gonna. I would tell her, like, what I think that's good. Yeah. You just hammer her with, oh, keep writing me.

[Brady]

Guarantee.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

By saying, I want more off.

[Christian]

Good.

[John Holmberg]

I want more. I'm not apologizing. I'm glad your life sucks. Bring it.

[Brady]

But wouldn't that be harder to get the restraining order if she produced a letter like that?

[John Holmberg]

Let me just like, look, text back, thanks for your answer.

[Brady]

Yeah, you're eggy her up on.

[John Holmberg]

That's fine. I think she would probably be like, ooh, my letters make him happy that I'm miserable. You're pathetic ass writing me letters. My girlfriend and I lay your letters down and make love on them. That's what I'd tell her. And then send her a picture of my wang like in the hand of another just going, we're talking about you and I'm hard as a rock.

[Brett Vesely]

I replaced the tube sock with your letter.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I use your Letters. I use your letters to wipe off my new girlfriend's mouth. Mouth. Is that too far?

[Brady]

Maybe a little.

[John Holmberg]

Here's one of your letters before. And here's one after. Hot Dannon. Just send her pictures of her letters covered in your man.

[Brady]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

These are great suggestions, Brad. I've missed you. Brady would never come up with the idea of on some girl's letters. Milk those things and send pictures back. Oh, that's glorious. Hey, I'm all out of letters. You want to write me another crazy, pathetic I'm loser letter? I got a. I got another batch I need to shoot on my new girlfriend and we got to towel it off somehow. Nothing better than using your tear soaked papers. I'm enjoying that. I hope somebody writes me a letter soon. Dear Brady, my family is evidently going to stage an intervention for my brother on Thanksgiving. I don't think it's appropriate to do and ruin everybody else's holiday. He does have a huge drinking problem. I suggested let's do it Friday. Can we enjoy the turkey in the games? The family thinks he's going to wreck Thanksgiving if they don't do it on Thanksgiving. I also think that not inviting him would have been an option. But they already did that. They're mad at me for not wanting to participate. Now it's a big problem. What would you. You do the intervention.

[Brady]

What is the intervention person that's with you?

[John Holmberg]

Don't they have a family? Like, there's got to be an intervention doctor. He's showing up on your Thanksgiving. They should be closed. There shouldn't be interventions on Thanksgiving. Wednesday or Friday.

[Brady]

I guess it's. I mean, I mean, I know the goal is to have close friends and family around you. You on the intervention.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody's flying in and it's a good way to fool them. Yeah. To think that they're just going to a Thanksgiving party and then. But I would.

[Brady]

I'd give those people. I think I'd give my relatives or loans a heads up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they all know that. He clearly knows then if they want.

[Brady]

To make it happen that day, you would know if no one's coming over.

[John Holmberg]

Thanksgiving, you don't have to go.

[Brady]

I. I think you could pass on. But at the same time, if you. You care about that person, you do.

[John Holmberg]

But it's Thanksgiving. I care more about my turkey and my stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

Boozy don't wreck it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, boozy's wrecking it now. Now 13 people have to sit around and play boozy sad games because one dude can't control himself. I say you don't invite him to Thanksgiving and say we're having it on Friday. Everybody have a good Thanksgiving Friday.

[Brady]

Unless this guy's ruined Thanksgivings in the past.

[John Holmberg]

That's why you'd have an intervention as a dude. They're afraid to have family function.

[Brady]

I would have no problem on that.

[John Holmberg]

That, like, usually the intervention is because.

[Brady]

Gonna take care of Jeff.

[John Holmberg]

Right. The interventions come because family functions have been ruined so often. It's like, look, we can't. We gotta. We can't even face the holidays right now, so. Or that. Do it on Thursday with the promise that once he's off to Malibu to go to his rehab that day you have a big Thanksgiving. The next day you're gonna miss out on football. Well, but.

[Brady]

Yeah, the night game.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You got good games. Really good games.

[Brett Vesely]

Do it earlier.

[Brady]

You know, one game.

[John Holmberg]

Game. The Lions are good.

[Brady]

Because it'll probably be. I would go. Yeah, I do it early.

[John Holmberg]

It's a great game. Yeah. So get. The Lions are actually relative. Like, they're good, they're relevant.

[Brady]

Which game you want to miss and.

[John Holmberg]

Hope it only lasts for like a halftime. Yeah. And turn the TV off because you can't side eye a game while you're.

[Brady]

And I would do it Thanksgiving only because. Pretty much have the rest of the weekend after that.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

They got leftovers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Rather than doing on Friday or Saturday.

[John Holmberg]

Is true.

[Brett Vesely]

I think Boozy's selfish. I wouldn't. No way.

[John Holmberg]

I think you should. I think you should give your brother a heads up. Go. Hey, by the way, Thanksgiving's an intervention and he won't show up. Yeah.

[Brady]

There you go.

[Brett Vesely]

I love that.

[John Holmberg]

Like. Well, I guess we just gotta eat. He didn't come.

[Brady]

We're doing our part.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And we. I did my part. I'm here. But, you know, where's the knife? Let's get to work.

[Brett Vesely]

Somebody here's got a suggestion.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good one. I like that. Intervention's brutal. Can't they effing let the brother have fun till the end of the year and maybe help them out on the new year? Why are they doing it on Thanksgiving?

[Brett Vesely]

New Year's resolution. There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Some people just new you. I don't know, silly. Anyway, there you go. That, my friends, is exactly what Brady did. And he solved all your problems. Especially the one where you get to spunk all over your ex girlfriend's letters. It's 90th. It's out of control now. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness to talk to you about my Friends at Trajan Wealth. A man who had quite a bit of money and a whole bunch of stuff decided to write up on his computer his will and trust. The day before he passed, he rewrote the entire thing. The old document was deleted and the new one was timestamped by the computer. One day before he died, the court told the man's son that the document wasn't legal. Call the team at Trajan Wealth. Sit down and take care of this so your family doesn't go through anything awful. Getting a plan together is so much easier than procrastinating. Call 480-990-3300. Trajan Wealth Legal services are offered through Trajan Estate Law Firm llc.

[Brett Vesely]

It's Brett Vesley from Holmberg's Morning Sickness for Game Day Men's Health. Now guys, are your energy levels a little lower than they used to be? I mean, look, you're not alone because I'm right there with you. And never being able to go to sleep early like Brady sure took a toll on me. And of course, like all of us, I'm like, eh, I'm just getting older and I'll just have to deal with it. So join the thousands of other Phoenix men, including myself, and hit up gameday Men's Health today. Just go to gameday Men's health dot com. That's gameday men. Get back in the game and start concentrating on your health with Game Day Men's Health.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty cool. It's disturbed right there. Voices. It's 9:45 here in the morning sickness and we are about to do the entertainment drill. Before we do that, I wanted to bring this up. Look at this. We're talking about the end of the year already. My Christmas lights are on. For crying out loud. Stand up live. December 12th. Clear your schedule. The tickets are on sale sale right now. Copper Blues will have a Pre party at 8:15 and we'll go on stage at 9:45 for the third Homeburg After Dark. Happy endings. 2025. That's us. We're gonna have. Man, we had. I tell you, we had Jay Farrell booked that was going to be awesome. And then Jay had to cancel because he got a huge offer from someone else in mind. Yeah, take that. I was going to say judging by the line that we had last week year at the place. Maybe get there around 6 o'.

[Christian]

Clock.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe that's. Oh, that's true. We had that weird line last year. You're right. And then Adam Ray screwed us last year cuz he tried to get over in time but couldn't make it. And then somebody flipped the switch. I got screwed on that one. Last 15 minutes of last year's show pissed me off. But the whole thing up to then was great. This is how it works. You go to After Dark, we're going to have our, our party going on. Brett will have the top 10 videos that we've watched all year up on the screen. And that is a thrilling moment. I'm working Powerful Closer. I'm working on our guest of the year and I had a chat on Friday and there's a very good chance that we can fly this person in, but it's going to be tight cuz he's got a morning thing. So I can't commit to that. We've got good guests though. We're going to have good people there. On top of it all. You get to see those videos and just screw around with his PO. The guy that I challenged to lose like 150 pounds and I'd give him him a minute of stand up for every pound he was less than a certain weight. He's looking like he might be able to do it. He's pretty funny. Standard tickets are $19.79. VIP reserve seats are 29.79. Get a little extra with that. All the proceeds from this are going to the Arizona Humane Society and it's brought to you by our friends at Lerner and Row. I had lunch with Kevin the other day and I thought Kevin had had bad days in plastic surgery. I'm looking at him and I'm like, I gotta. I might say something. This is terrible what he's done to himself. Turned out he ran into a wall playing with his kids and broke his nose. And he had to shoot commercials that morning. So he had some cover makeup on so he didn't know his nose was busted. And I'm like, his face is a disaster. What's he done? Is he going to Mexico with what happened? And he's like, I'm surprised you didn't say anything. I'm like, what am I supposed to do?

[Brady]

Do?

[John Holmberg]

He goes, yeah, I turned, ran away from my kid and turned and smashed into a door frame. Oh, like nose first, high five. I would have blown the door frame open with my nose. Anyway, so thanks to Kevin and Lerner and Row, also Happy Endings. Euthanasia on board. Dr. Mike, one of the greatest group of people you'll ever meet doing a job that. It's amazing. These people are amazing human beings and I love it. Happy endings. Euthanasia will be part of Homburg's happy endings. Holberg After Dark 2025. So thanks to them as well. And they gave special donations to the Humane society for this as well. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you. And we're ready to go. Tickets on sale. If you want them right now, you can go to where it would be. Is it on our page? 98kupd.com There you go. That's where you grab them. 98kupd.com we'll see you at Homeburg after dark. We got the entertainment drill coming up next. It's 98 John Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The 98 KUPD Holmberg's Morning Sickness. It's time for the entertainment drill and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] that's the home of tactical black self defense. There's Mountain Man J. There's Mountain Man J. He's in the building. What's he doing here? Are you not allowed to be here? Come on in. We'll allow you on the radio, unlike that last place. Get over here. Are you going to get in trouble for.

[Brady]

For this?

[John Holmberg]

Okay. No, not at all. I saw your truck pull up, and it says Mountain Man J on it. Yeah, I'm solo now. Yeah, you're all by yourself. I mean, you're. You're gone from the old. The show. What happened? Mountain Man J. From the mountain. They named the station after you. Yeah, I'm. I'm no longer there. What happened? That's a long story. I want to hear it. Go. Really? Yeah. I don't want to get in trouble, though. Can you get in trouble? Probably, yes. Okay.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Aren't you just Jay now? Yeah, I'm just Jay. I'm. I'm Toyota J. Call me Toyota J. I'm still working with them.

[Christian]

Them?

[John Holmberg]

You don't look Asian, but I'll call you Toyota J. So you're not allowed to talk about how awful Beth was to you because, you know, you still get money. Oh, you're probably not even supposed to be on the air right now. Really? Why? I don't know if you're. If they're giving severance, they might get mad. Well, whatever it was, just blink twice. Did Beth hit you? No. No. Okay. No. Beth is my babe.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I still love her. Okay, well, we're still good. You're still. Okay, that got creepy real fast. Okay, well, you know, but there's other. Don't. Aren't radio executives the worst? They're all idiots. It is a tough Thing. Yeah, but, you know, I was on radio for four. I've only. This was my second job. I was minor league baseball, and then. And then I did radio, so I don't even know what to do then. I was an idiot on Beth and Friends, so now nobody's gonna hire me. So now I just screwed myself. We'll hire you. Sure. Why not? Can I do the. Do I have hiring power at all? Which is. Put him back on. Was this a job interview? Yeah, it's going to. Well, thanks. You're doing great. Well, yeah. All right, now get off my show. Okay. Are you. Do you want to get. Do you want to stay in radio? Yeah, I mean, I want to keep going. I want to make money. Yeah. That's the thing. I mean, I can't. So you don't want to be in radio? No, I would love to be in radio. All right. Well, cool. Well, good luck to you. Hopefully there's a landing spot. Is that why you're wandering around our building? Yeah, I've known Jen for a long time, so. But she can't hire anybody, so it's just a no. But she's a friendly face. Just foot in the door, too. Come see me. I was like, heck, yeah, He's a genius. All right, well, good. Well, good luck to you, man. Well, appreciate to see you wandering around our halls. Look, it's mountain man J. Larry. Got any openings? No, that's right. It's former mountain man J. Toyota J. Sorry, I didn't mean to put you on the spot. He participated quite well. He's just walking around the building. I like when people who get screwed by radio just show up at other radio stations When I was a kid. I used to like that. I remember how much fun it was when Bruce Kelly got fired by Casey's department the first time. There were multiple ones of those. And then he went over to Y95, and the whole thing was just like, oh, everybody's switching their stage. That doesn't happen in radio anymore. Like, it was a big deal when somebody moved somebody.

[Brett Vesely]

He goes to power, too. I can't remember.

[John Holmberg]

I don't remember. I just remember that being a thing. Y95. And then they canned him, and then he went back to zzp and then he whipped his dick out at Disneyland and. All right, there we go. Here comes the phone call. Jay didn't do that, did he? He didn't whip your wiener out at anything, did you? We've had that pro. Okay. We've had that problem with other radio people in the past. That's what the last guy said who did it though.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So it's the same exact story. It'll all come out in the wash eventually. Anyway, it's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by reactdefense.com that's the home of tactical black self defense. You want to get in on their 25th anniversary special which is going strong. 89 for a month of training. And that is an outrageously good deal. Deal. Considering they have stuff going on multiple times each day. You can do all of it. You can pick and choose. What you do three, four times a week should cut it. And you guys are going to get in great shape and learn a lot about how becoming a sheepdog is a better way to live. Stop being a sheep. That's it. Keep the coyotes at bay, the wolves at a distance and start being smarter with your life. Reactdefense.com the 25th Anniversary 89 for a month of training special goes on right, right now for the first 100 people that pop in on this thing. Get on it. It's the home of tactical black Brady Entertainment.

[Brady]

Paris Hilton would like you to know that she is self made. She.

[John Holmberg]

She built herself.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The Hilton. She's not familiar with that.

[Brady]

Ever since I was a teenager, I wanted to be independent. I didn't want to have to ask my family for anything.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Christian]

But it really helped all the money that they had in the bank.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Everything I've done, I've done on my own own.

[John Holmberg]

She started at zero.

[Brady]

I do come from, you know, I do come from a name.

[John Holmberg]

He had a foot in the door.

[Brady]

I think that helps a little bit also.

[John Holmberg]

He's so stupid.

[Brady]

Jesus Christ.

[John Holmberg]

You took a D on video and it made us all in.

[Brett Vesely]

And it was terrible.

[John Holmberg]

And it wasn't good.

[Brett Vesely]

It was terrible.

[John Holmberg]

But she looks better now than she looked then.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But hopefully she can.

[Brett Vesely]

She compares now than she did then.

[John Holmberg]

I think she was terrible. Hopefully.

[Brady]

That was Kylie Jenner.

[John Holmberg]

She. Kylie Jenner.

[Brady]

She compares her situation to Kylie. Kylie Jenner who's also claimed to be self made.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Kylie got to a billion dollars. But it doesn't mean that she started with nothing. Nobody's truly self made. You all get a little hand in there. I mean you can start at zero. Yeah. If it wasn't for your folks, like you lived with them for a long time.

[Brady]

So majority of the time that's the case.

[John Holmberg]

It's how you approach or are ambitious with what you do have. Maybe Paris didn't have much Much. But her dad kind of knew some people. And maybe, you know, having best friends with Lionel Richie's daughter doesn't hurt that you can kind of get into places that most people can't. But that's not her fault. Nobody wants to hear that. I think that's the bigger problem with her name.

[Brett Vesely]

She got him whatever she needed to anyway.

[John Holmberg]

No one wants to hear a Hilton saying, I did this with no help. It's like, okay, we're all struggling out here with Holmbergs and Vestlies and Toledos and Bogans, which have a little bit bigger hill to climb, but doesn't mean you don't deserve it.

[Brett Vesely]

Our first car wasn't a Bentley or something, you know?

[John Holmberg]

I mean, come on. Came from. Well, yours was impressive.

[Christian]

1873 Subaru.

[John Holmberg]

Now, I will say my first car was a Bentley, but it was because I named it after Paul Benedict from the Jefferson. It was a Jeep, but I called it Bentley.

[Brady]

Here's a list of dead people who did terrible things while they were alive.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's the only time you can do it, really, Brady? Yeah.

[Brady]

Unless you're. Unless you believe in ghosts, and I don't.

[John Holmberg]

And I don't think they've ever done anything terrible.

[Brady]

Number one was Steve Jobs. Screwed over his best friend, left his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant. Refused traditional cancer treatment in favor of New Age cures until it was too late.

[Christian]

Refusing cancer treatment.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's on him. What a jerk.

[Brady]

Jesus. Then used his money to jump to the head of the organ donor list.

[John Holmberg]

That is kind of a dick move. Yeah, for a guy who needs a kidney, that kind of probably.

[Brady]

James Brown made the list, but I.

[John Holmberg]

Would do it, too, if I had the money to jump the list. And here's the other thing. Brady doesn't have the money to jump the list, but I watched his eyes light up when my doctor friend who's the transplant specialist says, have him call me. I can help with that. And you were like, I got an in. Brady loves knowing the owners.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Free meal and a tour of the kitchen. And a kidney. I'll jump that line.

[Brady]

James Brown made the lift.

[John Holmberg]

And what are the odds Brady's gonna meet the person that he jumped over in the kidney line?

[Christian]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Very.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Very minimal. You won't know who is third leap right past him.

[Christian]

What if that person, like, wins the lottery and comes after Brady?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you just lean over and look at him in his wheelchair and go, him's gotta get mines.

[Brady]

Coco Chanel had Nazi ties during World War II. And was openly anti Semitic. Hugo Boss was an actual Nazi.

[John Holmberg]

Made the uniforms.

[Brady]

Paul Walker, friend at the time of his death.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Jasmine Pilchard. Gosnell was 16 when he started dating her. He was 33.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And his previous girlfriend he also dated was 16.

[John Holmberg]

He was big on that. But he was so handsome that the parents didn't care.

[Brady]

Alfred Hitchcock. Emotionally abusive and sexually inappropriate with his actresses.

[John Holmberg]

Tippi Hedren especially. Yeah, which one was she? She was one of the Birds. She's Melanie Griffith's mom. Oh, okay.

[Brady]

Yeah. John Wayne, Open racist and white supremacist. According to this. Who is also. Also, he didn't believe in equal rights for women.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean, according to this? He was. He was loud about hating Indians. He did a Playboy interview once. It just said he was pretty happy with what happened.

[Brady]

Selling this movie.

[John Holmberg]

It's way after those were out. Or he's like 74 when he's like.

[Brady]

But then his best friend was an Indian in the movie.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he got paid. He was. Yeah, he was getting paid. He's getting paid.

[Brady]

And by the way, the other two, Gandhi and.

[John Holmberg]

But hold on, before you go on anymore about the John Wayne, before you dig your heels in, the best friend in the movie that was an Indian was a white dude in red paint. They didn't hire Indians for movies then. I think the one guy Dances with Wolves won awards for being the first show about Indians that actually had Indian actors. They used to paint him red Iron Eyes.

[Brett Vesely]

Cody.

[John Holmberg]

He was Italian.

[Brett Vesely]

I know, that's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

So they didn't like hiring the Indian.

[Brett Vesely]

About Ted Williams. Did he make the list?

[John Holmberg]

Teddy Baseball.

[Christian]

Yeah, he was a notorious, horrible race racist.

[Brady]

They highlighted just a couple of the Kennedy family was on there.

[John Holmberg]

They killed a lot.

[Brady]

And it just says, where do we start? Gandhi, Mother Teresa. Where others. There is more.

[John Holmberg]

Let's go back to Steve Jobs. Apple, right?

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm in a big thing with Apple right now because I downloaded the update and now my phone won't take a charge.

[Brady]

Charge. Oh, and they got in trouble.

[John Holmberg]

Pissing me off. This phone is not old. Draining quickly when they do the updates. Yeah, but they do the updates and they make your batteries less so you have to go get another phone. Yeah, and I just got this thing like eight months ago. And right now, after the update, every time I plug in, I get what used to be a day and a half. I'm down to about three hours. Oh, it's blowing. And I got nothing running. I've checked it all it's passing me off.

[Brett Vesely]

Time for the genius bar.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think I got to go throw one of these at a genius. I'll send Toyota J over there. He'll know what to do.

[Brett Vesely]

He's got nothing else going on.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. He's got a free day. Some of us have jobs.

[Brady]

The NFL released the halftime performances for Thanksgiving.

[John Holmberg]

I miss Brett a lot. He's mean and in a fun way. He's got nothing else to be.

[Brett Vesely]

Got a new ride to take on.

[John Holmberg]

It's good.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So we got Jack White. He'll be performing in the Detroit Lions Green Bay packers game.

[John Holmberg]

Ford Field for Thanksgiving.

[Brady]

Post Malone with the Dallas Cowboys. Kansas City Chiefs matchup might be a.

[John Holmberg]

Better game than I thought going into it. The Chiefs are kind of cooked.

[Brady]

And Lil John for the Ravens Bengals game.

[John Holmberg]

That's the night game.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In Baltimore, rooting for those cruddy ass Bengals. Those dumbass Browns had them. Had them yesterday, too. And they just let him out there for. Cuz. Shador Sanders doesn't know which way to face.

[Brady]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

I didn't watch that game.

[Brett Vesely]

Was he that bad?

[John Holmberg]

He was horrible. He was bad. He was horrible.

[Christian]

Like you said earlier this morning. Now you see why he's.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's a fifth round pick for a reason. And the reason that they're like, no, he's doing good. He's coming along. We're fine. Why did we trade Flacco again? But yeah, that's. He's in trouble. Come on. You expect him to be like, daddy, Daddy. He's a third stringer now. Poor Dion has to watch his son fail. You know what I think's gonna happen? Dion's gonna be the coach of the Browns. Because everywhere Shador's been with Dion coaching, they've done well because he was at that school in Mississippi. And then they moved over to Colorado together and they did very well both times.

[Christian]

Yeah, but they also. I was hearing him talk about it this morning. They plucked Pat Shermer and made him OC his second year in Colorado.

[John Holmberg]

So. So that whatever Dion did that would do. Whatever made Shador. Okay. But whatever they were doing was working.

[Christian]

No, no.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Christian]

I'm saying he's picking whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Dion and Shador together. Come on now. That's my son.

[Brady]

Well, at least he'll be coaching. Who?

[John Holmberg]

Dion or Shador? Shador is going to have a job for.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Shador is like Paris Hilton. He's in. That's it. We're done. The Homburg After Dark tickets are on sale right now. 98kupd.com let's sell those out in a minute. Shouldn't be hard to do that one and help out the Humane Society. We've already given them a check, which is nice from the happy endings euthanasia and also learn earn row. So we're already off to a great start. That show's going to be a blast. December 12th. Get your tickets now. Larry's coming up next. Fitz will get you through the rest of the day, giving you those code words for the last time. Win a thousand bucks, Larry will get you Toyota money. Jay's here. Maybe they'll double that. Who knows? And we're done. You guys have yourselves a fantabulous Monday. We'll see you tomorrow in the morning sickness. Hello. It's out of control now. Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg here for Game Day Men's Health. The gang at Game day Men's Health, they're just awesome. Toledo and Brett have been talking about them for a while, and they got me curious. So I checked it out, and boy, am I glad I did. First thing I noticed was the office. It's not a sterile, weird doctor's office. It's more like walking into a cool man cave. They do so much more than just trt, hgh, peptide therapy, medical weight loss, some sexual health treatments for ED issues. Sometimes being the best you can be requ Requires a little help. Get your t score, create a plan, and get back in the game. Go to gamedaymenshealth.com It's John Holmberg here, seeing clear as a bell. Thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. If you're squinting or cleaning glasses with that little microfiber rag all the time, well, just knock it off. I was in the same boat as you. Then I went to the Schwartz Laser Eye center, sat down with Dr. Jay Schwartz, and in one visit, Dr. Jay Schwartz had a plan for me that allowed me to ditch needing glasses to see. It's as easy as opening your eyes. Give them a call. 480-483-4830, eyes. And then head to the Schwartz Eye center, the official eye center for your diamondbacks and sons.