Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – 11-17-25

Episode Title: On His Deathbed Bret's Dad Said To Use His Ashes To Soak Up Some Oil In Garage
Air Date: November 17, 2025
Host(s): John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Location: 98 KUPD Arizona

Main Theme

This episode blends offbeat humor and irreverent musings about mortality, football fandom misery (with a focus on Arizona Cardinals supporters), and a running, absurd riff on the current state of political scandals—culminating in John Holmberg’s gleefully surreal desire for a world in which a U.S. President is credibly accused of “blowing a horse.” The show’s characteristic mix of dark humor, personal anecdotes, listener emails, and riffing on collective cultural dysfunction is on full display.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bret’s Dad’s Dying Wish: Ashes for the Garage

• Bret Vesely opens up about his father’s recent passing and unique end-of-life wish: to have his ashes used as oil-dry in the family garage, given their mutual love of cars.
  • Quote: “He was more worried about… his soul. What am I gonna do? The body’s gone. Who cares?” (03:29 – 04:18)
  • John Holmberg and others riff on creative post-mortem ideas, such as being used as janitor sawdust (Vauban) in schools, or ending up as chew toys for puppies.
  • John: “Now I want to follow in his footsteps and become oil dry or something. Maybe... that weird sawdust that janitors in high schools use for kids who puke?” (06:14 – 06:29)
  • Bret: “His wishes were to be kitty litter. He’s always said that… literally since I was in my 20s.” (05:13 – 05:15)

2. Listener Outpouring & Community

• Bret expresses gratitude for listener support, highlighting KUPD’s community feel.
  • Bret: “It was amazing, like the outreach that everybody... thank you for everybody reaching out.” (05:28 – 06:12)
  • John jokes about the show’s influence: “I’ve caused a lot of public school teachers to quit their jobs. I think I’m getting through to these people.” (08:18 – 08:22)

3. Arizona Cardinals & NFL Fan Misery

• Long segment about the futility of being a Cardinals fan; listeners compare it to an abusive relationship they can’t leave.
  • John reads emails:
    • “I’m a cuck for the Cardinals and I watch them get effed week after week… I keep showing up…” (09:56 – 10:14)
    • Brett: “So basically, Cardinals fans are like cucks.” (10:06 – 10:08)
  • Discussion of how fan loyalty leads to years of suffering and disappointment.
  • Brady contrasts “fair weather fans” in other cities with Arizona’s masochistic loyalty. (12:17 – 12:26)
  • Discussion about Cardinals’ home games being overrun by opposing fans (13:08 – 13:47)

3.1. John’s NFL Ownership Relegation Plan

• Holmberg revisits his idea: NFL owners who fail to make the playoffs in five years must sell their team, similar to soccer’s relegation.
  • John: “If you don’t make the playoffs in five years as an owner, you are forced to sell the team…” (14:12 – 15:19)
  • Imagines how often teams like the Browns would have swapped owners.
  • Suggests that financial risk would motivate improvement: “When owners lose money, your teams do better…” (23:59 – 24:10)

4. Creative Memorials & Listener Ideas

• Listeners write in with unique post-mortem wishes, e.g., putting ashes into ammo so a deceased hunter could “go out with the kids.”
  • Brady/John riffing: turning themselves into chew toys or animal beds posthumously: “Make a little bully stick. Make bully sticks out of me…” (17:22 – 17:24)
• Emotional aside: condolences for a lost family dog (Hannah), tying back to the show’s pet rescue charity involvement. (17:56 – 18:32)

5. Absurd Political Discourse: The “Trump Blowing a Horse” Meme

• Surreal conversation about the latest wild political rumor (that Trump was accused of “blowing a horse”), springboarding from references to Epstein files and internet memes.
  • John cheerfully wishes it were true: “If there’s a horse involved and our President has to go on TV and explain that, I’ve lived a full life…” (28:15 – 28:25)
  • Brady, dryly deadpanning: “I don’t discount the fact it could have happened.” (35:56 – 36:15)
  • John: “What if…would I be surprised if a politician blew a horse? …I don’t think anything can surprise me anymore. That might be the one that’s left.” (36:18 – 36:31)
• The conversation broadens to classic celebrity urban myths (Rod Stewart’s alleged stomach pumping, Richard Gere and the gerbil), reflecting on the insanity of modern rumor culture and lack of boundaries.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Football Fandom Misery:
  “How in the world can you keep going back week after week, year after year, to watch what we saw yesterday and the week before? …It’s just got to be miserable.” (10:06 – 10:15)

• On Death Wishes:
  “I have no issues with that. Like, my corpse doesn’t—oh well.” (07:43)

• On Absurd Political News:
  “Tell me it wouldn’t be a better world if Sean Hannity had to go, ‘So… he blew a horse.’ Like, he had to defend that for a little while.” (28:25 – 29:02)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:29 – 05:28]: Bret’s dad’s philosophy on death & detailed family stories on cremation wishes.
• [05:28 – 06:12]: Listener outreach and discussion of show’s community.
• [08:18 – 10:15]: Cardinals fan emails, football misery, and “cuck” analogies.
• [14:12 – 16:44]: NFL ownership relegation plan and discussion about why bad franchises persist.
• [17:06 – 18:32]: Creative memorial ideas; listener’s ammo-ashes story; emotional online pet memorials.
• [27:50 – 36:31]: Extended riff on Trump/horse meme, political scandal escalation, and celebrity rumor history.
• [41:44 – 43:10]: Kickoff for weekly playlist and further jabs at Cardinals misery.

Additional Highlights

• Listener Participation: Numerous emails and stories from fans about quitting (or sticking with) their football teams, all laced with self-aware humor.
• John’s Rant: About people texting him screenshots of his TV commercials, with exasperated ranting about how he doesn’t want to see unflattering photos of himself. (25:31 – 26:37)
• Playful Banter: Repeated throughout, reinforcing the morning show’s blend of juvenile humor, local color, and surprising moments of sincere camaraderie.

Conclusion

This episode is a near-perfect capsule of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: mordantly funny, self-deprecating, and unapologetically weird—rolling together midlife reflections, sports despair, and jaw-dropping political satire. It’s a full-spectrum ride for loyal listeners and a fascinating glimpse for new ones, from “ashes as kitty litter” to the fantasy of a televised horse-gate scandal. The tone is irreverent but grounded in genuine personal emotion and strong community connections.