11-19-25 - Rock Wars - Song For Maryvale Chamber Of Commerce

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: 11-19-25 - Rock Wars - Song For Maryvale Chamber Of Commerce
Air Date: November 19, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively Rock Wars special, the crew of Holmberg's Morning Sickness (John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo) grapple with their weekly musical battle, this time taking on the quirky challenge: Pick the theme song for the Maryvale Chamber of Commerce. The team's irreverent humor is on full display as they poke fun at inner-city Phoenix, roast each other, and try to outdo one another with the most fitting (and tongue-in-cheek) musical pick. The episode is packed with their trademark comedic banter, local references, and candid group dynamics.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter and Setting the Stage

• After some brief technical ads and jokes about the freezing studio temperature, the core discussion begins around Rock Wars (06:28).
• Bret Vesely’s recent loss is referenced as the team riffs on how comedians process tragedy, with a story about John Lovitz after Phil Hartman’s death and how even sorrow becomes fodder for humor.
  • John: “Are you still milking this thing?” (02:02)
• The pressure is put on Bret to come up with the week's topic, but he’s unprepared – triggering another round of good-natured ribbing.

2. Rock Wars Challenge Selection

• After kicking around ideas (from Viagra hearings to “songs for grilled cheese weather”) they settle on the oddly specific task:
  • Best theme/hold music for the Maryvale Chamber of Commerce (04:36)
  • John: “Maryvale Chamber Commerce theme song would be amazing.” (04:36)
  • The team jokes about whether Bret, recovering from his recent challenges, should even participate.

3. Chamber of Commerce and Maryvale Jokes

• The podcast crew pokes fun at the unlikely existence of a Chamber of Commerce for Maryvale, a part of Phoenix with a tough reputation.
• Holmberg references how Clipper jerseys now sport “Visit Rwanda,” joking that Maryvale’s only harder sell as a tourist draw might be Rwanda itself (06:08).

4. Contestant Song Choices and Rationale

Brady’s Pick: “No Dinero, No Fiesta” by Dia de los Muertos

• Brady sets the mood: The Chamber wants to attract visitors for parties and holidays, so he chooses a song about there being no party without money.
  • Brady: “If you don’t pay, you don’t have a fiesta. We’re not paying. There’s no party here. Welcome to Maryvale.” (08:16)
  • John quips that it would be “hold music” for the office phone lines.

Holmberg’s Pick: “Insane in the Brain” by Cypress Hill

• John goes for broad appeal and local flavor: “Whites, Blacks, Mexicans… lets you know what you’re getting into if you go there from another town.” (09:27)
  • The group imagines it blasting from speakers on every street corner.
  • “If you’re on hold, thanks for calling Maryvale Chamber of Commerce. Someone will be with you in a minute…” (09:49)

Bret’s Pick: “Talk S***, Get Shot” by Body Count

• Bret, feeling the Chamber of Commerce is run by outsiders, picks a brutally direct song about the perils of running your mouth in the wrong neighborhood.
  • Bret: “All the white people from Gilbert over there being the Chamber of Commerce, so…” (10:42)
  • The hosts have to juggle the curses and admit: “I’m probably not gonna win because of this.” (10:43)

5. Notable Jokes, Quotes, and Memorable Moments

• Comic relief about search histories:
  • John (on Brady’s history): “Your racist search is going to be the death of you, man.” (08:56)
• Absurdity about award-giving:
  • “They just give themselves awards for tolerating being in Maryvale… Vice President of the Chamber awarded his company Best Company.” (06:46)
• Bouncing off the delay button:
  • When playing Bret’s song, the group fumbles the broadcast delay:
    • John: “My apologies to everybody involved. I think I got them both. Good Lord.” (11:36)
    • Bret: “Talk Ass, Get Shot. That’s the Maryvale theme song.” (11:59)

6. Voting and Results

• The phone lines open for a winner among the three picks. “Paul, your other blind listener” is first to call in (12:59).
  • Paul: “Oh, I am insane.” (13:17), securing a win for Holmberg’s “Insane in the Brain.”
  • They jokingly ask for a ‘sighted’ vote as well – Max the next caller also votes for Holmberg.
  • John: “Insane in the Membrane [will] come up right after this. It’s 98. There’s Rock Wars. It’s out of control now.” (14:09)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:02 – Joking about “milking” tragic events for sympathy
• 04:36 – Deciding on “Maryvale Chamber of Commerce theme song”
• 06:46 – Satire about Chamber of Commerce leadership
• 08:16 – Brady introduces his song, “No Dinero, No Fiesta”
• 09:49 – John plays “Insane in the Brain” for his pick
• 10:42 – Bret sets up his controversial choice
• 11:36 – Delay button issues and realization about air-approved content
• 12:59 – Phone voting begins; Paul chooses “Insane in the Brain”
• 14:09 – Confirmation of Holmberg’s win and show wrap-up

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Episode Tone & Style

Chaotic, irreverent, and quick-witted, the episode is a showcase of unfiltered morning radio humor and group camaraderie. The hosts spare no one (including themselves), blending local in-jokes, social commentary, and relentless ribbing.

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Notable Quotes

• John (regarding comedic minds and grief):
  “Comedic mind is… weird. Are you still milking this thing?” (02:02)
• Brady (on his pick):
  “If you don’t pay, you don’t have a fiesta… Welcome to Maryvale.” (08:16)
• John (on Chamber of Commerce award-giving):
  “They just give themselves awards for tolerating being in Maryvale…” (06:46)
• Bret (on his song choice):
  “The only thing they can think of… is Body Count’s ‘Talk S**, Get Shot’.”* (10:42)
• Paul, the blind caller (on winner):
  “Oh, I am insane.” (13:17)

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness delivers a raucous, tongue-in-cheek musical competition, loaded with local sarcasm and the kind of humor only a group of close-knit radio personalities can serve up. For anyone who’s never listened before, this episode offers a perfect snapshot of their style: musically adventurous, fearlessly irreverent, and always in on the joke.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[C]

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[D]

We've got ourselves a rock wars ahead of us. Brett technically won last week because we honored you.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

Through all your str I heard a great story. You know, you've recently gone through a loss y and somebody sent me a story of Ed o' Neal from his on Modern Family. And of course, he was Al Bundy, and he was talking on Kevin Pollock's podcast about how weird comic minds are and how weird the. The comedic mind is. Yesterday, Trip, was it yesterday or the day before? We were walking out together, Brett and.

[A]

I. Oh, day before.

[D]

And Trip called. Brett, come in here for a second. Hey, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss. And it was very nice words. I kind of caught it on my way by. Didn't hear what you guys talked about. You said some things. He related back. And as we're leaving, we're walking down the stairs. I turned to Brett and I said, are you still milking this Thing. And of course, he laughed. Then somebody sent me a video of Ed o' Neal talking about John Lovitz. And he said, I saw John Lovitz two days after Phil Hartman was murdered at a. At a. It was Tiffany's in Beverly Hills. And he said, I never go in there. He goes, but there he was inside. I was buying a gift for somebody, and he said, there's Lovett's. And he walks over and he said, you know, Phil Hartman and John Lovitz were brothers, like, beyond close. John Lovitz has told me and several other people on interviews and everything else that it took him about two weeks to stop throwing up. He was physically sick from Phil Hartman's death, but two days after that, he had something to do. And he's in the Tiffany's. And Ed o' Neill said he wandered over to him, said, hey, John, I'm so sorry for. For Phil, you know. And Lovett goes, what? He goes, you know Phil? And he said, what are you talking about? I said, I just wanted to come over and say I was sorry for. For all that for Phil. Levis goes, what are you talking about? And he goes, the murder. And he goes, oh, that immediately went right to the darkest joke you can tell. So while Brett was in mourning last week, you know, we dealt with it. We gave you a suicidal tendency song and you won, technically. But now, enough milk in it, man.

[A]

That's it.

[D]

We're moving on. In honor of the comedic brain, you don't get any more freebies, pal. We're coming down to the nitty gritty. I don't care who else you know get sick. I know.

[A]

Toledo's wife. Come on, everything's free.

[D]

Come on, hook it up. But I'm just saying no more tragedies will get you free. I'm hoping you've had a couple you won last week. Do you have a topic for us? You don't have one yet. Oh, you son of a bitch. And he's milking it some more.

[E]

Unbelievable.

[D]

Still too soon to yell at him.

[A]

Let's see what were. When we talked about this, we talked about Brady's page that came up.

[D]

You could talk about Viagra hearing, Chamber of Commerce of Marale.

[A]

There you go.

[D]

No, don't just jump on that. And you especially. I'm not. That's not a topic you're allowed to be part of.

[A]

No, we'll do that.

[D]

Nope. Nope. How about the best song for grilled cheese weather? That's better than what you're going to do with the Mary Villain. All right, we'll give Brett a couple more minutes.

[A]

Damn it.

[D]

And he's got to come up with a topic. Come on, man. Be prepared. You're back.

[A]

Maryvale Chamber Commerce theme song would be amazing.

[D]

All right. I do like that. Okay, but you're not allowed to play.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[E]

All right.

[A]

Well, I will sit this one out. I just want to see what you guys come up with.

[D]

We'll let Toledo play. No, we'll have you do it.

[C]

He's in.

[E]

Already got a song.

[D]

A theme song.

[A]

I got married. I just gotta narrow it down.

[D]

Harry fail. Chamber of Common and Doja cat is not. You can't. Even though that song is hilarious. Maryvale Chamber of Commerce. A song that they play on their website or in their lobby or the hold music. The hold music when you call. Why would you call them? It's 9:31. If you want to help out Holmberg at 98kupd.com you can text 97936. Rockwars is next. Don Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98kupd why choose a sleep number?

[F]

Smart bed.

[G]

Can I make my sight softer?

[D]

Can I make my sight firmer? Can we sleep cooler?

[F]

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[D]

Homburg's morning sickness. It's time for the weekly battle of musical supremacy known as Rock Wars Music battle. It's brought to you by our friends over at Mo Money Pawn. Eventually I'll find it. There it is. Shorter long term collateral loans from $10 to over a hundred thousand dollars American money. No credit needed and top dollar paid. The entire process just taking several minutes. Nice job, guys. Momoney pawn.com it's too cold near to do that.

[A]

It is. There was our teeth chattering.

[D]

AC just kicked in and Tripp's calling us. I had a conversation with him a week ago. I don't like it when it's like below 70 anymore. And I hate it when it's above 72. Like, oh Jesus, he's reached that age where if it's not 71 degrees, I piss myself. He's yelling at us. It's freezing in here. Again, our AC is broken, but it's not broken in the wrong way. It's too good, and it shouldn't even be on. All right, Brett's talk earlier, we talked about the Clippers having visit Rwanda on their jerseys this year. Don't. If the word don't was above it, it would make sense if the Clippers were making some sort of statement. But then we started talking about Chamber of Commerce in Rwanda. Would be the. The only. Only job harder would be Maryvale to try to get people to do tourism in Maryvale. So they have to have hold music. They have to have a chamber of commerce. We looked it up. It's a bunch of Gilbert Mormons. We can't figure out. They just give themselves awards for tolerating being in Maryvale. Was the vice president of the Chamber of Commerce, awarded his company best company, and he was. Yeah. Another renegade of Maryville. It was the company of the. And for the 12th month in a row. Imagine that. Brett, who would you like to go first for our Chamber of Commerce of Maryvale theme song?

[A]

I'm interested to see where Brady's going.

[D]

Me, too.

[E]

All right, well, I think they want to throw some, you know, their step up, their Fourth of July, the special, the holidays. They want to throw some bashes in Maryville. They want to encourage people to come out there.

[D]

Here we go.

[E]

I went with a group, Dia de los Muertos. That's. It requires money. So no money, no fiesta.

[D]

That's their theme song.

[E]

On hold.

[D]

Is it like our company? No money, no fiesta is the way they say it. No money, no budget. This or on hold, you hear no money, no fiesta. Nobody fiesta. I kind of like this. It appeals to the president and the tourists, basically saying if you don't pay, you don't have a fiesta. We're not paying. There's no party here. Welcome to Maryvale. All right. Kind of like that. No money, no fiesta. Brady, I don't know how you found that, but well done. I know you didn't know about that song until three minutes ago.

[A]

We talked about searches earlier. Your racist search.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Going to be the death of you, man. That actually on Wednesday.

[E]

Metal Mariachi.

[D]

If he's on the Epstein files, they're going to think Jeffrey Epstein was the good guy. Yeah. What's this? Lactating women. Cripples having sex?

[A]

No, it'd be attractive. Cripples.

[D]

Yeah. Good look. Yeah. Yeah. Cripples with pretty faces doing it. Cripples. Lactating. And cows.

[A]

Bulls.

[D]

Yeah, and bulls killing Mexicans. All right. Would you like me to go next? Yes. Mine appeals to everybody in Maryvale, no matter what. Mine's the diversity program. It appeals to whites, blacks and Mexicans and also lets you know what you're getting into if you go there from another town. Hit it.

[C]

Were you trying to get crazy with this scene?

[A]

Don't you know I'm local?

[D]

If you're on hold, thanks for calling Maryvale Chamber of Commerce. Someone will be with you in a minute. They've probably been. Oh, yeah, and I just want to hear this. After yesterday especially. Oh, I love it. You got a black guy and a Mexican guy in the van. This should play on the speakers of every street light 24 hours a day in there. All right, there you go.

[A]

Like on that Arizona Asians page as we're watching that. It would be playing above the stoplight always.

[D]

Yeah, always. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[A]

Hang on a second. I need to.

[D]

Oh, yeah, I gotta.

[A]

Yeah, I gotta pull the lyrics up and stuff, so.

[D]

And make them big, so I've got time.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Well, you start to me.

[D]

Are you starting right at the beginning? Yeah. Okay, good.

[A]

All right, hang on a second. Let me.

[D]

Because you've evidently got a lot of curse. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That's. I'm probably not gonna win because of this. So me. You got all the white people from Gilbert over there being the Chamber of Commerce, so the only thing they can think of that's going to be happening in that neighborhood is from Body Count. Talk s Get shot.

[D]

Wait, don't take the lyrics away.

[A]

I'm going to get him. I'm going to get him.

[D]

All right. Because he starts right away. I know the first line. Okay, here we go. Okay.

[A]

Didn't go?

[D]

No, I got to start. All right, hang on. Oh, boy. Jesus, you're playing with fire over here.

[C]

Talk.

[A]

Damn it.

[D]

I missed the first one. Act hard. No, Jesus. I missed the second one. I did a terrible job.

[A]

I told you you weren't gonna be able to do that one. So anyway, that's where I'm going with Finger.

[D]

Hit the button. My apologies to everybody involved. I think I got them both. Good Lord. Talk s. Get shot. Brett, none of your selection was even mentioned on the air. According to people listening, all they heard was I would choose. So that's Brett's choice.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Talk Ass. Get shot.

[A]

That's the Maryville theme song.

[D]

You're not wrong. And given more time, I think I can do this. Who wins?

[A]

Some echoes there. I like yours, though.

[D]

Thank you.

[E]

Thank you.

[D]

Will it be Brad Will it be Brady's? No Dinero, no fiesta? By who?

[E]

Dia de los Muertos.

[A]

Man, look at that.

[D]

Will it be Body count Talk s Get shot? Or will it be Insane in the Brain by Cypress Hill? We'll just take a call. How about that? 585-9800. The call. The call applies with one call. Says it all. I think that's Lerner and Row. I want to thank them for being part of this. If they are. Yeah, if you want to vote and fix it. 585 9, 800. You're going to wait for the delays to kick in. Who will win? The who will win Rock Wars.

[A]

Shouldn't be much delay. We delayed twice.

[D]

I know. We got. That's right. We're actually probably right on it.

[A]

Huh?

[D]

Here we go.

[A]

Hi, there.

[D]

Who's this? It's Paul, your other blind listener. Paul, you're blind as well. You were the one that called and kind of said you were following me around. That's right. All right. I remember. I've been looking for you. And I know you can't say the same, but. All right, Paul, who wins Rock wars this week? Oh, I am insane. Yeah.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Thank you. My thumbs survive it. Thank you, Paul. The blind guy. Very appreciative. Have a great day. There you go, Paul.

[E]

Tell you later.

[D]

Did it. He managed to get to the phone for. Well, that's just rude. That's just a dick thing to say. Can the blind be a final decision? Let's just make sure that we got it right and go to another. Hi, there. Who's this? Oh, this is Max. Max, go ahead and give us a vote as well. Just. We need a cited vote and a blind vote. Yeah, you got it, Chancellor. That's me again. Oh, there you go. This is simple. I don't have that button. Simple stuff. Thank you. So nervous about my buttons on Brett's song. All right. Insane in the Brain. Take a break. We'll come back with the winner. Me. Brett's done milked his tragedy long enough. That's mine. Now we're coming down to it. Only a couple more weeks of Rock Wars. And, Brady, thanks for being here for all of them.

[E]

Not a chance.

[D]

It's 9. 51. Insane in the Membrane will come up right after this. It's 98. There's Rock Wars. It's out of control now. 98.

[G]

Not great with finances.

[D]

That's okay.

[G]

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