11-21-25 - BR - FRI - It's Natl Stuffing Day Though We Debate It - Pepperoni Is Spelled Differently By Italians - Sci News On Mistletoe And Kissing History And On Ancient Art - Brady's Monkey Joke Thuds In Smuggler's News Story

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Episode Summary

Episode: 11-21-25 - BR - FRI - It's Natl Stuffing Day Though We Debate It - Pepperoni Is Spelled Differently By Italians - Sci News On Mistletoe And Kissing History And On Ancient Art - Brady's Monkey Joke Thuds In Smuggler's News Story
Air Date: November 21, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Overview

In this raucous episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, the crew dives into the absurdity of “National Stuffing Day,” debates food traditions, explores quirky holiday science—from the origins of kissing to new findings on mistletoe—and unpacks a medley of weird news, from Italian-American food etymology to ancient erotic art. Classic HMS irreverence is on full display, punctuated by banter, jokes, and wild video reactions, culminating in a particularly thudding punchline from Brady during “Smuggler’s News.”

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Segment Highlights

1. National Stuffing Day & Thanksgiving Traditions

[03:45–05:42]

• Brady greets the audience and notes it's National Stuffing Day.
• John is indignant: “How's today National Stuffing Day? That's Thursday. You don't jump the gun here.” (03:53)
• The group debates the merits—and timing—of serving stuffing before Thanksgiving, with John proclaiming, “Stuffing is special…you don't eat stuffing any other time of the year.” (04:16)
• Discussion veers into personal Thanksgiving menus, the delegation of cooking responsibility, and humorous family anecdotes.
• John: “Turkey’s just Cobb salad. Cobb salad, no dressing. No bacon.” (05:38)
• Playful ribbing about health, family roles, and diet.

2. Fun Food & Sports Facts

[06:06–07:55]

• Brady drops trivia:
  • Al Michaels is the only broadcaster to call all four major US sports championships.
  • Of 14 “dot-com” Super Bowl advertisers in 2000, only 4 are still active.
  • Pepperoni's Italian spelling (“peperoni” - bell peppers) vs. the American version.
• John and Brady wrangle over the correct number of P’s in “pepperoni,” with John refusing to back down:
  • “I bet you a billion dollars there’s two P’s in pepperoni.” (07:55)
• A brief, comedic rabbit hole on language, food, and word origins.

3. Weird Science & Holiday Kissing

[09:00–16:49]

• Brady: Possible breakthrough—garlic extract mouthwash may reduce bad breath better than conventional rinses.
  • Skepticism from John: “Kills the bad breath stink. But then you have garlic breath!” (09:27)
• Science News:
  • Kissing may go back 20 million years, predating humans entirely.
  • Rich channels the song: “Birds do it. Bees do it. Kissing.” (12:01)
  • Theories swirl about the evolutionary purpose of kissing and comparisons to animal behavior.
• NASA update: New photos of an interstellar object ("Atlas 3 Eye Atlas"), Harvard scientist speculates on unusual comet behavior:
  • “Comets don’t turn corners. Like, what’s it doing?” (14:12)
• Art and archeology:
  • Study: neither kids nor adults can convincingly mimic Jackson Pollock.
  • Archaeologists in Israel interpret a 12,000-year-old figurine as “a woman being mounted by a goose”—which John lampoons as “a pervert looking at a rock, seeing what he wants. That’s a Rorschach rock.” (16:21)

4. Smuggler’s News — And A Joke Flops

[17:49–20:12]

• Brady introduces a segment about animal smugglers in Thailand.
• Story fizzles humorously as Brady’s monkey joke fails to land, leading to banter:
  • “That thing peter out. When we didn't react to your delivery of Max, you really didn't have anywhere to go there. Not even a pun. Just dirty. Just being dirty.” — John (18:39)
• Discussions follow on what happens to rescued animals, leading to yet another riff on monkey resilience.

5. New York's Subway Scent & Miscellaneous Oddities

[20:29–21:19]

• Bath & Body Works makes Grand Central smell like pine trees for Christmas, replacing “the normal smell, which is homeless anus.” — John (20:44)
• The crew imagines confused New Yorkers missing the “authentic smell of piss.”
• Quick detour to “band name” jokes (“Homeless Anus”).

6. Radio Video Mayhem

[21:30–34:46]

• The team watches and narrates viral and bizarre videos, including:
  • A playground bully gets knocked out by a kid in jeans and work boots: “Never mess with dudes playing basketball in jeans and work boots. That is...a pride party. Not like the gay one either. Like proud boys.” — John (22:24)
  • An '80s anti-marijuana PSA spirals into absurdity (wood chipper incident), with John critiquing its unreality:
    “That commercial’s wrong in every direction. Here’s the most inaccurate portrayal of the ‘80s of all time. We were hiring women to do men’s jobs...” (24:54)
  • Multiple NSFW clips dissected with explicit humor and exaggerated disgust, culminating in John’s exasperated: “I’ve seen too much. All right, well in there, too much.” (34:46)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• John (On stuffing before Thanksgiving):
  “That's the premature ejac of Thanksgiving. You don't stuff in the Saturday before. Then you've overstuffed.” (04:02)
• On American vs. Italian food names:
  “There's no salami named pepperoni with three P's used on a pizza topping.” — Brady (08:21)
• Exploring ancient erotic art:
  “If you see sex in this rock...that's a pervert looking at a rock, seeing what he wants. That's a Rorschach rock.” — John (16:21)
• On New York subway scents:
  “Rather than the normal smell, which is homeless anus.” — John (20:44)
• On surprising video content:
  “That's the biggest wiener I've ever seen on a midget. That thing is huge!” — John (26:24)
• After a string of explicit and bizarre video descriptions:
  “I’ve seen too much. All right, well in there, too much.” — John (34:46)

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Key Timestamps

• 03:45–06:00: National Stuffing Day and Thanksgiving debate
• 06:06–07:55: Sports and food trivia
• 09:00–16:49: Science News (garlic mouthwash, history of kissing, NASA’s investigation, abstract art, ancient erotic figurine)
• 17:49–20:12: Smuggler’s News (wildlife trafficking, monkey joke fail)
• 20:29–21:19: New York subway scentification with pine trees
• 21:30–34:46: Radio videos (bullying, anti-drug ads, NSFW clips, escalating gross-out reactions)

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Tone & Vibe

Irreverent, quick-witted, and often filthy—this episode is a classic slice of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: the humor is rapid, the references are local and pop-cultural, and the camaraderie between the hosts is palpable. Expect a blend of genuine knowledge, raw comedy, deliberate shock value, and moments where the fourth wall crashes as jokes misfire or get pushed too far.

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For New Listeners

This episode typifies HMS’s trademark blend of current events, everyday absurdity, offbeat science, and boundary-pushing banter. If you’re coming in fresh, prepare for lots of Arizona local flavor, heaps of sarcasm, and segments that ricochet from wholesome to wild without warning. (Skip if easily offended!)

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[John Holmberg]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brady Bogan]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, world.

[Brady Bogan]

We've made it. Hi. Happy National Stuffing Day and National Gingerbread Cookie Day.

[John Holmberg]

How's today? National Stuffing Day. That's Thursday. You don't. You don't jump the gun here.

[Brady Bogan]

Give you ideas for Thursday maybe?

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. That's the premature ejac of Thanksgiving. You don't stuffing the Saturday before. Then you've overstuffed. I think you're not. What are you.

[Brady Bogan]

What are you against?

[John Holmberg]

Why would you not have stuffing again? That's too much stuffing. Stuffing is special.

[Brady Bogan]

How many times this week so special they wanted to give it its own?

[John Holmberg]

No, it has its own day. It's called Thanksgiving. You don't eat stuffing any other time of the year. When do you. In July go come over. We're having stuffing.

[Rich]

Next thing you know, tomorrow's National Turkey Day.

[John Holmberg]

When's the last time you had stuffing? Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

A couple years.

[John Holmberg]

What'd you do last year?

[Brady Bogan]

We had that teppanyaki chef. The last.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, you went to that Asian traditional.

[Brady Bogan]

Thanksgiving steaks the year before that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Might be going back to the turkey this year.

[John Holmberg]

Of course you are. It's Thanksgiving. You got to go back to the traditionals. But one of the traditionals is stuffing. And then you put the stuffing in. You do stuffing on Thanksgiving, you're not confident you're gonna do it this year?

[Brady Bogan]

Not sure because you know I would.

[Rich]

It's in five days or six days.

[Brady Bogan]

Plenty of time.

[John Holmberg]

Got people for that. Aren't you in charge of the food at your house?

[Brady Bogan]

I am now.

[John Holmberg]

No, you have been forever now.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, no, usually Ronnie would do most of the sides.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying. You are. You're calling the menu, though. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And I'm 20 years in and now all the way. I'm doing a turkey or.

[John Holmberg]

What happened?

[Brady Bogan]

Prime rib or something.

[John Holmberg]

All right. How about a salad? So you're the main course guy. Well, that's salad and beats for you.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Turkey's just Cobb salad. Cob salad, no dressing.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No bacon.

[Rich]

Can you have the eggs?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Eggs are probably good for you. Don't know yet. You're the worst person to ask about what you're allowed to have. I was at the doctor's office when you told me your kidneys were. They just keep going down. We'll be in good shape. Doctor shaking his head. It's the opposite. The opposite of what he just said. Gotta get that number lower. Nope. That means he's dead. Just try to talk him into it.

[Brady Bogan]

Couple of basis fun facts. Al Michaels is the only play by play commentator or host to cover all four major US sports championships.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

Did Super Bowl 11 times, World Series eight times, NBA Finals twice, and the Stanley cup three times.

[John Holmberg]

We did that a while ago. Yeah, well, he's. Hockey is what I think of him with first. Other than like football is where he is today. Do you believe in miracles? Is Al. Al was the one that made most people my age understand that hockey's awesome.

[Brady Bogan]

And did that ice him for the next two Stanley Cups? Maybe after the miracle on ice or did he mean for.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know when he did it. I would imagine it would have been the 80s. I would imagine when ABC said we're gonna do this.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, for sure. I would.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because it was probably a Canadian thing before when America wasn't interested in hockey.

[Brady Bogan]

There were 14.coms that advertised during Super bowl in 2000, and only four are still active.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

Auto Trader, Last Minute Travel Monster, and WebMD.

[Rich]

Did it for ABC three years in a row. 2000, 2000, 1002.

[John Holmberg]

How about that? Which I think was the. Was that Jersey Devils and the ABs. The first one. Was that Al Michaels in 2000.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe ABC got the NHL back.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they had it. I'm just. Al Michael's doing that in the 2000. That's awesome. I didn't know it was that late.

[Brady Bogan]

Pepperoni is an American food.

[John Holmberg]

You all right with that?

[Brady Bogan]

An Italian pepperoni spelled with one P. Is the word for bell peppers be two piece? In Italy, it's two piece.

[John Holmberg]

It's one p. No, I. I bet you a billion dollars there's two piece in pepperoni.

[Brady Bogan]

Nobody's an American pepperoni. There is.

[John Holmberg]

Nope. There's three.

[Rich]

I get what he's saying.

[Brady Bogan]

Gotcha.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Play the game.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't want to lose you there when I said they took.

[John Holmberg]

No, I understand. No, don't. Don't act like I lost it.

[Brady Bogan]

But you're right.

[John Holmberg]

Three piece. I'm the only one that was actually doing it right.

[Brady Bogan]

Three piece in American food.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Two in the other.

[Brady Bogan]

One pepperoni. Two in the other. And there's no salami named pepperoni with three P's used on a pizza topping.

[John Holmberg]

Good. Adapted there. Nice job on the fly. Do it on the fly because that said two in the paper. And you jumped it. You understood.

[Brady Bogan]

A DNA analysis of apples found they all originated in the mountains of Kazakhstan. Very nice.

[John Holmberg]

All right. The Kazakhs did that.

[Brady Bogan]

Borat makes an appearance.

[John Holmberg]

Borat showed up for no reason. As Brady's Kazakhstan News shows up.

[Brady Bogan]

A new study has found that the key to fresh breath may be a mouthwash made from garlic extract. Researchers viewed five studies comparing garlic extract to other oral rinses. And the garlic performed well in one trial. Reduced the bacteria effectively more than some of the.

[John Holmberg]

It kills the bad breath stink. But then you have garlic breath because remember garlic.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They've done this forever. The stuff that they take to kill bad breath, swallow the pills.

[Brady Bogan]

But you feel like. Didn't you say you're burping garlic the whole time?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, you have a garlic, but garlic was a pill.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then they had that spray that George Kennedy used to do all the time that was garlic based.

[Rich]

Well, you burped with garlic?

[John Holmberg]

Well, no. When you have the spray, you have a garlic taste, but it's not garlic. You didn't eat it, so it doesn't.

[Rich]

Live with you, it doesn't project from.

[John Holmberg]

You, but it does make your like. For me, garlic made my stomach feel weird, but I didn't. I don't know that I was burping up garlic smell, but there's a. Garlic kills. The stuff that causes bad breath.

[Brady Bogan]

Has antimicrobial properties. From the Ollison.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that is. Breath of sure.

[Brady Bogan]

Was it breath?

[John Holmberg]

The sure. That's what George Kennedy ran around screaming at you. And George Kennedy looked like a guy who had bad breath. He was from the 70s. He probably smelled like cigarettes a lot. Maybe liquor. There he is. George Kennedy for breath. Oh, my God. Here's the Beverly. That's how old that commercial is.

[Brady Bogan]

A love good food flavored with garlic started his breath. Started the fire and the towering inferno.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, he was in that. And a naked gun. Drebin's assistant. He had terrible breath. But he looks like a guy with bad breath. Big, lumbering, hulking, breathing man. Somebody had to tell him eventually. You gotta fix this, George. Your suits smell like cigarettes and whiskey. And your breath is just brutal. Smells like you had a double sandwich for lunch.

[Brady Bogan]

And now it's time for some science news.

[John Holmberg]

All right, first. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Hello, my friends. Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news and mistletoe news.

[John Holmberg]

A study found science news turned into mistletoe news in one word.

[Rich]

News within news.

[John Holmberg]

In the news. In the news.

[Brady Bogan]

A study found the act of kissing probably dates back 20 million years or even more. Long before. Long before humans were around.

[John Holmberg]

Keep in mind, this is science.

[Rich]

So at least 20.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Dates back to 20 million. And we need a couple more years. Like 20 million wasn't enough for us? Bull crap, Brady. But it's longer could be proven.

[Brady Bogan]

It's. It's exactly 20 million.

[John Holmberg]

Well, nobody's saying that. 20 million is a pretty vague throw anyway.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, the scientists are saying lots of other animals do it.

[John Holmberg]

Birds do it.

[Brady Bogan]

Not just us.

[Rich]

Bees do it.

[Brady Bogan]

Kissing.

[John Holmberg]

We get it. John. Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

They're still not sure why we evolved to do it.

[Rich]

Well, we know why now. I mean, the girls got 200 kills.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we know it. Yeah, I wonder why people do it the way we do. Like we lock up. I think any other animals are like, doing that.

[Rich]

Yeah, you've said that before. You didn't think your. Your grandma was throwing tongues.

[John Holmberg]

My grandma was.

[Brady Bogan]

Was she?

[Rich]

She's a whore. That's right.

[John Holmberg]

No, that was my great grandma. Your grandma was a whore. That's true.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's like a.

[Brady Bogan]

Who's your.

[John Holmberg]

Who's which? Grandma's a whore. It's time to play what's her count? Who's grandma's a whore. Oh, my grand. My great grandma's count was massive. She was the Vincennes whore. It's a fact. Yeah, but why do we do, like, when did we start going, just, let's touch tongues? Like other animals might touch tongues. Dogs kind of do it, but we make it kissing because of what we do. Dogs are just kind of cleaning food out of each other's teeth. Like, I've got a little dog, Gordon, that'll go up. And when the other dogs are asleep, he starts licking their teeth.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they're like, oh, they're kissing. No, they're not kissing. Plus, they're both boys, so this is gay. But he's just cleaning food off of the other. It's kind of gross when you think about it.

[Brady Bogan]

NASA just released the best photos yet of the interstellar object, the Atlas 3 Eye Atlas, zipping through our solar system. And they say it's a comet, not aliens. All right, but then the Harvard guys somebody got pushing the alien thing still.

[John Holmberg]

Isn'T convinced, but he's not pushing the alien thing. Be fair to that guy. Everybody's black and white in this thing. He's the one saying it's not behaving like a normal comet. He says it's more than likely a rock. But he's saying it's acting weird. We haven't seen it do that. And he's excited for that.

[Brady Bogan]

He says they didn't really offer anything new, and they're still just guessing it might be another few weeks before there's enough data for say for sure.

[John Holmberg]

But we gotta wait till it comes out from behind the sun in the end of December to find out its speed, its pattern, and. And it still has that tail or not, which it lost at one point. And that's the only reason the Harvard guy's like, wait a second. Comets don't do that. Comets don't turn corners. Like, what's it doing?

[Brady Bogan]

You ever looked at the abstract painting and thought, oh, my, a four year.

[John Holmberg]

Old could do that every time.

[Brady Bogan]

Researchers had a bunch of little kids and adults try to paint like Jackson Pollock and they all sucked at it. The ones done by adults were rated as slightly better. Than the kids painting.

[John Holmberg]

But did you put a Jackson Pollock in the mix with it? Yeah, that's the only way to make that. If you put a bunch of cruddy paintings up, most people will go, these suck. But if you throw a Jackson Pollock in there, right? If you throw a Jackson Pollock in with a bunch of adults throwing paint at the wall, that would look just like them.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I was wondering if they would say these are the ones that haven't been. We found a bunch of Jackson.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can say that they're Jackson Pollock, but you. The only way to make that actually work is to not tell people that some of them are Jackson Pollock paintings and then have people go through and go, what do you think of these? These suck. Anybody could have done this.

[Brady Bogan]

Archaeologists in Israel may have found the earliest known artifact showing a human being getting it on with an Animal. It's a 12,000-year-old figurine that apparently shows a woman being mounted by a goose.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought, yeah, this is that duck goose thing. That's. It's. But it's just a rock. And then they recreated it to look like a goose is banging a lady. And they made her naked. Yeah, I saw this yesterday. It just. You would pick this up and you'd see rock.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a lady, I think. And then they interpret it with penis arms.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's got dick arms. I noticed that too. She's. And then they interpreted it to be a sex art. But you look at what they found and you're like, you guys are perverts. If you see sex in this rock and they put pubic hair on it and.

[Rich]

Yeah, look at the rock.

[Brady Bogan]

They're.

[Rich]

They're projecting.

[John Holmberg]

They are death. Somebody was horny that day they found that rock. Cuz it doesn't look anything like what they're making it.

[Brady Bogan]

But they have, you know, they're saying this is on top of other artifacts that they found throughout.

[John Holmberg]

Well, show me the ones that clearly.

[Brady Bogan]

Do all sorts of pictures and.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, but show me the ones. Show me the ones that. Well, this is the earliest one of beastiality. Show me the ones that led you to that. Cuz that one's just a rock. That's a pervert looking at a rock, seeing what he wants. That's a Rorschach rock.

[Rich]

Those pterodactyl and an elephant.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I see a rock.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that's carved out by a four year old kid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe.

[Brady Bogan]

That'S your science news.

[Rich]

Okay, we got a couple of late entries to try and calm you down with your windshield wipers?

[John Holmberg]

Oh boy.

[Rich]

First one says so. John, let me put it to you this way. Be proud, man.

[John Holmberg]

I am.

[Rich]

You ran 98 yards with the football.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I got stopped at the two.

[Rich]

Your friend from up north took it.

[John Holmberg]

Took it to last. Amy said hey, you skipped a step. Like I know what. I got the ball down here though. We're in good shape. Yes. I was proud of myself.

[Rich]

John, don't worry, I work for aaa, trust me. People sometimes install batteries with the plastic cap still on. The posts come to us and try and figure out what happened.

[John Holmberg]

How did not working get to the point of needing. They drove another car in their garage. You call AAA with a car in your garage? I don't know. I didn't know they did that.

[Rich]

You might be able to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. If you gotta need a jump or something like that, I suppose you don't have a friend. That's true. There's a lot of people who you're calling. Yeah. I won't even jump that guy.

[Brady Bogan]

I've got one smuggler's news story.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Hello my friends. These are people carrying contraband and getting bested. We call it the smugglers news. Thai rangers have arrested two men suspected of being part of an international wildlife smuggling network.

[John Holmberg]

Thai rangers?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's cool.

[Brady Bogan]

Thailand.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I get it.

[Brady Bogan]

Busted a couple of guys carrying 81 MAO near the commit.

[John Holmberg]

Kim, the only reason they did this story. It's the only reason it has no. There's no. There is no cuz there's no finish here. On top of that, there's no ending. He just said the 81 Maox in.

[Brady Bogan]

The back of a pickup truck.

[John Holmberg]

Don't celebrate it.

[Brady Bogan]

Tagged and bagged.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

They also found methamphetamine and cash and some pills.

[John Holmberg]

That thing peter out. When we didn't react to your when we didn't react to your delivery of Max, you really didn't have anywhere to go there. Not even a pun. Just dirty. Just being dirty.

[Brady Bogan]

In June, Indian customs officer steals. Seized nearly 100 creatures including lizards, sunbirds, tree climbing, possums. They say dramatic. I thought you pulled something up on the screen or something.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh no.

[John Holmberg]

It's a dramatic pause.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, because I. Rich interrupted with something. I thought he wanted me to see something on the.

[John Holmberg]

Just go. Yeah, I keep telling you four days. When are you paying attention? You're not wrong. When are you paying attention to Rich all of a sudden? Just keep going.

[Brady Bogan]

Last year the Thai customs officials arrested six Indians for attempting to smuggle red panda.

[John Holmberg]

Who the lady at the halftimes?

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

That's why she was missing.

[John Holmberg]

They said she heard her.

[Brady Bogan]

She was injured.

[John Holmberg]

No, she was smuggled.

[Brady Bogan]

Smuggled by Thai rangers on top of the red panda. There were snakes, parrots, and monitor lizards.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, what happens there?

[Brady Bogan]

They go to prison for life.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right?

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe kill them all, right? Try to get the animals back into the wild. Do they have to euthanize some of them?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Probably have to kill them all. They've been in bags for a week.

[Brady Bogan]

Those macaques can handle being in the bag.

[John Holmberg]

All right?

[Brady Bogan]

That's your smuggler's news.

[John Holmberg]

Let it die. Jesus.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a monkey, Brett.

[John Holmberg]

We know what that is. We know what a monkey. Where's. Where's Skip? Where's. Where's Skip? Skip. Skip. Skip.

[Brady Bogan]

Finally, Bath and Body Works is making New York City subway system smell like Christmas. They've. If you pass through Grand Central Station in New York this month, don't be surprised. It smells like pine trees.

[John Holmberg]

That's nice. Rather than the normal smell, which is homeless anus.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. They put it on one subway platform if you catch a shuttle train to the Times Square. They added a bunch of diffusers and on the steel beams they're covering up.

[John Holmberg]

That's nice.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The dead bodies, pizza rat, the piss. And it's gonna throw people in New York.

[Brady Bogan]

Big month for people.

[John Holmberg]

Is that smell. Smells like I'm walking around in a forest. Where's the piss stink? I want it back. This ain't New York.

[Brady Bogan]

Say my New York when I walk.

[John Holmberg]

Into Ralph Lauren's house. What's with the pine trees? Where's the smell of the homeless anus?

[Rich]

Oh, is that a decent band name?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's a great band name.

[Brady Bogan]

I got two radio videos.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

The first one.

[John Holmberg]

That's all right. His prednisone's kicking in. He's feeling good today.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, It's a. A bully on the playground.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

High school age. You can't play the audio on it.

[John Holmberg]

There's some too much cussing. All right, we'll do a play by play of. These kids are early teens. 13, 14, maybe a little older. This kid's a big one. The other guys are skinny. This kid's a little thicker.

[Brady Bogan]

He's got. It looks like he's got his little boom.

[John Holmberg]

He's got, like a music speaker or something in his hand. The other kids have a basketball and the big fat kid is walking on. He's a big, thick kid. Yeah, he's adult thick. Was this the sand? He's walking up to another kid. Yeah, it looks like the catcher from Sandlight. Oh, and the skinny one just turns the bullies lights out. That's right. That's right, son. First off, you never mess with dudes playing basketball in jeans and work boots. That is a socks. Yeah, One is just in socks.

[Brady Bogan]

What?

[John Holmberg]

This is a poor white community. You don't trust these hillbillies. That kid's got a right hand on him. Yeah. Jeans and work boots on a basketball court is the whitest. Like that is. This is a pride party. Not like the gay one either. Like proud boys. This is a pacing party. This is a pacing party. This. Yeah. That kid throws a nice right punch. He's been hit by his dad so many times, he gleaned some of that off the old man. Go put your work boots and your jeans on and get out there and shoot hoops.

[Brady Bogan]

The last one I have is a retro ad about the downsides of using marijuana.

[John Holmberg]

I think Reefer madness.

[Brady Bogan]

No, it's in the 80s.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, maybe early 90s. The commercial about weed, the drug war. When Nancy Reagan was fighting that drug war for us.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, you see the. The meth ones where the mouth is hammered up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The teeth are bad, and everybody weighs eight pounds.

[Brady Bogan]

This is extreme.

[John Holmberg]

This is what would happen to you if you started smoking pot back in.

[Brady Bogan]

The regular things could happen.

[John Holmberg]

Where is it, Rich?

[Rich]

It's not coming up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no.

[Rich]

Try one more time.

[John Holmberg]

I still got the proud boys on the basketball court in their Timberlands. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Rich]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

I'd like to see that basketball game finished. That is a slow blue jeans basketball game.

[Rich]

Finally.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I think he's got it right. Here's the guy. He's at a party. Oh, they show the weedy guy's way out of his mind. Oh, he's falling into a wood chipper. Oh, no. Limbo. Oh, man. All that was. He smoked some weed, and then he at work, and he's daydreaming of doing the limbo, and then he tries chipping wood. Well, he's doing. He's daydreaming about doing the limbo, and then he leans back into the wood chipper. And then more blood than a whale has come shooting out of the other side on the other employees. Oh, that's great. His laugh. Those people stand at the other side of the wood chipper, and if it wasn't for blood, that would have been wood chips hitting them. They're in a Question.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Where would the chips go? Yeah, they were they doing on the side?

[John Holmberg]

Well, they were going to be hurt just as badly as him if they were. They're all high and first then what's a woman doing working a wood chipper in the 80s? That is the most unbelievable commercial I've ever seen.

[Brady Bogan]

I think that was an affair alright.

[John Holmberg]

There's no reason for that lady to be there, let alone she was an African American woman. They weren't hiring those in the 80s to do anything. It was a terrible time to be alive. She's standing there at the other end of the wood chipper. Somebody placed her there to take the bloodshot off the Wheatie. Well, that commercial's wrong in every direction. Here's the most inaccurate portrayal of the 80s of all time. We were hiring women to do men's jobs. Right there. It's completely false. All right, Brett, what do you got? All right, it's Friday, so brace yourself.

[Brady Bogan]

The other thing is the limbo rod.

[John Holmberg]

Looks like it had shard glass made of weed. It was a weed wrapped limbo stick that he was trying. He was daydreaming about going under, which caused him to lean back into the wood chipper and coat that black lady in blood. It turned into Carrie at the end. Oh, geez. That wasn't from me. All right, here we go. All right. This one's called Fidget Spinning. I didn't write the the title to it. We all remember the Fidget spinner. Oh geez. We're in. Wow, is that a woman? Oh my goodness. They're in a boxing ring. And there's a man. Brady shape.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a dwarf.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're. They're dwarfs. They're little and one is both of them, right? Yeah, no, they both are both. I'm pretty sure.

[Brady Bogan]

No, the one looks, she's not.

[Rich]

She's a real size.

[John Holmberg]

That is the biggest wiener I've ever seen on a midget. That thing is huge. And she is doing a gator roll with the midget wiener in her mouth. She put it in her mouth and then they start doing this gator roll in 360 spin around. What kind of boxing match was this? Why is that in a boxing ring? And did they have a fight after that or who stayed for both?

[Brady Bogan]

That's a big move in Louisiana and Florida. It is.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta learn. Keep the gate. All right, every one of us is now thinking though, could we talk her into it when I go home today? Can I talk? Hey, if I clear this room out a little bit you want to give this a try? Do a little gator roll. All right, let's guess what's going to happen. All right, there's a. A woman, looks Jamaican. Maybe she's having her breasts felt by a man with one glove on. Now he's shaking her tummy and going into her Jamaican style skirt that looks just like a tablecloth wrapped around her waist. What are we going to see as Brett pauses it? Right as the doctor's gloved hand? And I'm saying Dr. Liberally. Yeah. Very into her skirt and pulled her skirt way out her skirts.

[Rich]

I think she's at target loss prevention.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Target loss prevention. Brady, I think there's going to be stolen merchandise in the skirt.

[Brady Bogan]

Proof that they removed her vagina.

[John Holmberg]

What? I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Pull a crank out.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. That's right. Wow. She has no vagina. We're about to see that. I'm gonna say there's a baby in there. All right, here we go. He's reaching in. He's reaching deeper and deeper. He's very deep now. He's got his hands way up in there and his glove. He's shaking her belly. Shaking her belly real hard. She's standing up. This is not a woman laying down. Standing up. He's pulling something out of there. What is this?

[Rich]

I was.

[John Holmberg]

I think I might be right. Oh, this has to be fake. She had some sort of squirrel in her vagina. Squirrel rat.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. Could have been a meerkat. No.

[John Holmberg]

Is he done? What is that thing? It's some sort of Jamaican possum inside of her vagina.

[Rich]

AI's gotten weird.

[John Holmberg]

And you can hit that up on Brother Innocent. What's up? App number. And the phone number.

[Brady Bogan]

Is there church in Uganda?

[John Holmberg]

It's a Ugandan church. And she had some Ugandan tree animal get stuck inside her vagina. And then the. The local shaman had to pull it out on camera. That was in there. It looked dry.

[Rich]

Said it did look dry.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

Devil squirrel.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, did I tell the story yesterday of Jessica, the new sales girl downstairs? And she had something she was eating and walked by, and I didn't recognize it as food. And she's a Mexican girl, so she says, oh, it's a Mexican thing. And I'm like, well, what is it? She goes, it's a Mexican donut. And I'm like, what's the difference? And what are donuts when they're not Mexican? Aren't they universal or they white? Donuts that I eat. And she goes, no, it's a chancha. And Mike, I think that's a dirty word. I think that's. She goes, no, I said, you're eating a chancha. And she started laughing and she goes, yeah, but she said, the only time this is bad, you don't want a dry chancha. And I'm like, I have to walk away from you. Was Susie listening? Everybody charged, right? I'm like, all this dirty talk down here and I've got the reputation of the bad guy in the building. Well, some cheese. She's got a mouthful of chanch downstairs. I don't even know what that is.

[Brady Bogan]

Does it look like.

[John Holmberg]

Is that. Oh, what is this? Is this one of the videos? Oh, is that some sort of weird caterpillar?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, God.

[John Holmberg]

It's an Asian lady eating this.

[Brady Bogan]

Never is. Giant. Giant.

[John Holmberg]

Lady is eating this. I can't watch these people eat. Oh, God. But she's got it all the way in her mouth and it's squishy.

[Brady Bogan]

That's after the guy asked her body count.

[John Holmberg]

Is that Michelle? Yeah. A guy watching her. It's not just me. Asian women eating is gross. That's pretty much it. What was that? Like the Japanese version of Aladdin? What were they dressed like that for? Let's go to this.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

A two liter bottle of Coke in her ass and it's bottom side in first.

[Brady Bogan]

Have a coconut pile.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's gonna have those piles.

[Brady Bogan]

The.

[John Holmberg]

The drink inside of the bottle is out of her ass.

[Rich]

Is that what happens next, Brett?

[John Holmberg]

No, there's. There's no real big finish. We get the poor cocktail, but the business end of that 2 liter bottle is in there. It's not the. It's not the little end. All right, now the guy's using it for pleasure.

[Brady Bogan]

Throw a couple of Mentos.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no kidding. Oh, man, that's beat up. Whoa.

[Brady Bogan]

God.

[John Holmberg]

That's her ass has a 2 liter bottle of Coke in it. Wow. How did that even happen? I wonder if that's cane sugar as a Mexican Coke. Okay. And then he just starts fiddling around with the honey hole.

[Brady Bogan]

What came out of there? Oh, God.

[John Holmberg]

He did a little gynecological exam there in the middle of this Coke can or bottle situation. And it kind of.

[Brady Bogan]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

There's no real big. I think she inked. I'm not sure. I think that's a woman inking. She may have. She may have squid inked that guy with the Coke in her ass. All right. About some needles. Oh, I don't like this. Oh, my God. This guy's got 100 needles in his penis. He's got, like, 100 needles in his penis. There's blood pouring onto the. At least they put it. Look at. They're pulling the ring. Another pulling the ring that's attached to the urethra as far as hard as they can.

[Rich]

This isn't the first time we've seen.

[John Holmberg]

Those needles. We've seen. Yeah, that's the record.

[Brady Bogan]

Through and through.

[John Holmberg]

That's got to be 60 needles. What am I looking at? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 layers of eight or nine. So, yeah, you're looking at about 60.

[Brady Bogan]

70.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, 70 needles or so. Thanks for that, Brett.

[Brady Bogan]

Phew. How about this? Oh, we're not done.

[John Holmberg]

Here's a splayed penis. This one's been butterflied. It's butterflied. And from the bottom, it looks like a hot dog. You wanted to cook thoroughly. And now he's pleasuring himself with the.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

Split in half penis. Oh, it's going to come out of the bottom. Yeah, it's going to come out of that weird bottom hole. He's got cut his own new urethra down at the bottom, and the top is just meat. Okay. And now he's aiming it at the camera. Come on.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's how it ends. Okay. Thank God we didn't see the finish. What is going on? All right, here's a guy in a bike helmet sitting on a toilet.

[Brady Bogan]

In.

[John Holmberg]

A poor person's bathroom with those weird glass doors that aren't glass or doors. It's the Harlem Shake Poop. It's called. Oh, my God. Now he's standing on the toilet.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

And he shoots diarrhea onto a new person, has entered the bathroom, and their legs are spread open. It's another fella.

[Brady Bogan]

And he.

[John Holmberg]

And he's. They all. He pooped on his friend's butt.

[Rich]

Why is there a letterbox over his.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, from a distance. And then we'll finish. He projectile diarrheaed onto another friend's butt from about three feet away. And here's a new iPhone commercial. All right. Oh, there's an iPhone in a butt. Whoa.

[Rich]

That thing's talking.

[John Holmberg]

And then we're calling Marlon Wayans. Yo. Hello, shorty. It's in her all the way. She put an iPhone 16 all the way in, and she spent.

[Brady Bogan]

That's trouble.

[John Holmberg]

Least 15 grand on those breasts. Those are beautiful. There you go.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you see Christmas time?

[John Holmberg]

Did you see the top thing turned into a mistletoe her butt. Rose buds. Look at the other hole.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, watch.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you see it go? It absorbs back in the alien. Oh, gross. Oh, God. There it is. Oh, something's living in there.

[Brady Bogan]

Tap that gap.

[John Holmberg]

What's the big lump? Look at the big lump on her. I guess that would be her left labia. Yeah, I don't know that. That looks infected. I think I'd try to pop that. Oh, my goodness. I've seen too much. All right, well in there, too much.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yikes.

[John Holmberg]

There you go, everybody. Some of these videos, none of those are probably gonna make the cut. Those won't. But the top 10 videos will be shown at the Homebrew After Dark.

[Rich]

Got our guest here. We could show him that.

[John Holmberg]

All right, we'll do that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Who's our guest?

[Rich]

Langston Kerman. He's a desert ridge improv man.

[John Holmberg]

Has a beautiful name. Langston Kerman's gonna be here in just a little bit. We'll talk to him next. It's.

[Brady Bogan]

Rock.

[John Holmberg]

It's out of control now. 88.