11-26-25 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona (98KUPD)

Episode: 11-26-25 – FULL SHOW – WEDNESDAY
Date: November 26, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Main Theme / Episode Overview

This pre-Thanksgiving episode of “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness” unfolds as a wide-ranging, hilarious, and sometimes dark discussion about holiday travel, the societal expectations surrounding Thanksgiving, insane science documentaries, weird animal trends, football traditions, and the familiar chaos of family gatherings. The crew mixes pointed observations about Arizona’s sports franchises with musings on science, pop culture, and their own dysfunctional holiday plans, keeping the banter quick, irreverent, and loaded with wild tangents and inside jokes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Thanksgiving Travel & Holiday Avoidance

• Travel Sucks: John laments the annual nightmare of traveling for Thanksgiving, emphasizing the misery of airports, cold weather, and the false “necessity” of being with family on Thanksgiving.
  • “There’s no possible way it’s worth some food and a few minutes with your family to go 472 miles to fly back to... just bless cold, 35 degrees. No thank you.” – John Holmberg (05:00)
• Alternative Traditions: John prefers a quiet holiday alone, binging on “Kennedy documentaries all weekend... some football tomorrow and... halfway through 'Hitler’s DNA: Blueprint of a Dictator'” (04:38)

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2. “Hitler’s DNA: Blueprint of a Dictator” & Polygenics

• Weird Science Doc: John shares the bizarre BBC documentary exploring the supposed genetic roots of Hitler’s behavior, including claims about his anatomy and polygenics.
  • “They’re pretty sure we found out he’s got a micro dick. And then they just go into that...” (08:10)
• Nature vs. Nurture: The crew discusses DNA, behavioral genetics, polygenics, and eugenics implications.
  • “In the next 10 years... they can assess your DNA and start to manipulate it before the baby’s born...” (11:29)
  • “If you have a micro penis, you have to be the Michael Jordan of cunnilingus. That is a fact.” – John Holmberg (13:38)
• Comedy Tangents: Micropenis jokes lead to musings about historical despots and neurodivergence, eugenics, etc.

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3. Gay Sheep & the “Rainbow Wool” Trend

• Absurd Fad: The show covers a real story about “gay sheep wool” fetching premium prices because of claims that it’s ethically or culturally significant.
  • “...putting [rams] on a farm altogether, like some sort of weird sheep gay bar, and they’re letting them hammer ram each other...” – John Holmberg (22:33)
• Pop Culture Tie-Ins: Celebs like Taylor Swift and Cher are name-dropped as supporters of this trend.
• Skepticism & Satire:
  • “If I was gay, I’d be like, all right, that’s enough. We’re not animals. This isn’t...You know.” – John (24:53)
  • “If you’re paying $400 more for a gay sweater, I better see video of that sex happening.” – John (24:53)

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4. Holiday Food, Gatherings, & Social Rituals

• Hosts’ Thanksgiving Dynamics: The cast shares their party plans, from hobo Thanksgivings with random friends to huge family-style feasts with unpredictable guests.
  • “Thanksgiving last year, I think it was 30 and change. You’re telling me, oh, Brett Matthias invites the entire city of Mesa.” (40:01)
• Gripes About Social Obligations: John airs his distaste for forced togetherness, the scramble to prepare, and the “shoehorned” nature of the holidays.
  • “I don’t get the food holiday. I get the getting together, but I just don’t get the scramble. It drives me nuts.” (43:11)
• Family Fights: Wry tales of storm-outs, fistfights, and post-feast walks to escape drunk relatives.
  • “Have you ever had punches thrown at Thanksgiving?” (50:17)
• Thanksgiving in America – The Outsider’s View: Restaurants, casinos, and Black Friday work as escape valves for those wary of family drama or kitchen chaos.

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5. Sports & Arizona Cardinals Ownership Controversy

• Michael Bidwill Scandal: Hot local sports talk—Holmberg reveals the Cardinals owner was seen at the Suns game before his own team’s game had even finished, a “horrible look” that no media outlet has covered.
  • “Tell me what happens to Jerry Jones in Dallas if he’s not at the end of the game. Are you kidding me? He’d be vilified.” – Dale (142:14)
• Season Ticket Price Gouging: Reports of 40–45% increases in Cardinals’ season ticket prices, despite team underperformance.
  • “That’s $50 increase a ticket, which is 40 plus percent. And they want the full payment by December 15th.” – Brady (144:20)
• Arizona’s Soft Media & Sports Culture: The crew rails against local sportswriters and radio for not holding team owners accountable—unlike East Coast cities.
  • “The biggest announcement for me is that... it’s completely irrelevant.” – John (149:41)

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6. Oddities & Social Trends

• Alone Drinking & Apps: Discussion of a bar banning solo drinkers for liability, and the pitch for a “Drinking Buddy” app for those who prefer solitude in company.
  • “I want to start the app 'Drinking Buddy.' You drink alone, I drink alone. We hook up...” – John (110:50)
• Ultra-Sonic Chinese Airplane: Marveling at technological leaps—China’s Mach 16 plane can circle the globe in seven hours.
  • “Think about how great that is... it’s the greatest time to be alive.” – John (124:29)

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7. Gross-Out & Shock Humor (Radio Videos)

• Classic Morning Sickness: The show’s notorious for its “radio videos”—grotesque, shocking, and sometimes sexual viral clips accompanied by graphic audio descriptions and laughter.
  • Features included a woman urinating on a car (“hillbilly car wash”), can of Raid as a sex toy, and the infamous “Fruit Loops butt” video.
  • “Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Enjoy your meal, everyone.” – John (after gross-out bit) (107:12)

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8. Band Contest & Local Music

• Theme Song Competition: The show discusses its annual contest for a new theme song—a local truck driver and singer “DJ Bathsheba, the Alchemist” wows the crew with her voice.
  • “Listen to this woman’s voice. Angel.” – John (134:16)

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On holiday travel:
  “Which is the smart thing to do... Looking at weather and stuff, there’s no possible way it’s worth some food and a few minutes with your family to go 472 miles...” – John Holmberg (03:56)

• On polygenics/Hitler:
  “They’re pretty sure we found out he’s got a micro dick. And then they just go into that... the almost the whole documentary is like, this was it.” – John Holmberg (08:10)

• On designer babies:
  “They think that in the next 10 years, probably they can assess your DNA and start to manipulate it before the baby’s born...” – John Holmberg (11:29)

• On gay sheep wool:
  “He’s taking out the rams that aren’t interested in lady sheep, putting them on a farm altogether, like some sort of weird sheep gay bar...” – John Holmberg (22:33)

• On forced Thanksgiving:
  “I feel like it’s forced on us. I guess that’s my thing about Thanksgiving. I feel like it’s all forced. You have to do this.” – John Holmberg (43:11)

• On Arizona media:
  “The media plays a massive part of that. They are not tough on the Cardinals... they’ve been prodded, ‘Oh you suck,’ but never feet to the fire.” – John Holmberg (141:00)

• On alone drinking ban:
  “I want to start the app, Drinking Buddy... It’s for people who don’t want to talk to you. You just... go in together and sit near each other, just like we would if we were drinking alone.” – John Holmberg (110:50)

• On the new Chinese jet:
  “Think about how great that is. We don’t even marvel at human achievement anymore... It will happen in our lifetime.” – John Holmberg (123:03)

• Sports—on Bidwill:
  “Tell me what happens to Jerry Jones... if he’s not at the end of the game. Are you kidding me? He would be vilified.” – Dale (142:14)

• Gross-out moment:
  “And then we go right to sex, and there’s Froot Loops everywhere. They come shooting out of there like a Fruit Loops fountain...” – John Holmberg (107:11)

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

• Thanksgiving Travel & Complaints: 04:00–05:30
• Hitler’s DNA Documentary & Polygenics: 06:00–15:00
• Gay Sheep, Rainbow Wool, and Cynicism: 20:00–32:00
• Family Gatherings & Holiday Gripes: 39:00–50:00
• Family Fights & Fallout: 50:00–55:00
• Bidwill/Sports Media Critique: 140:00–153:20
• Absurd Food/Sexual Radio Videos: 105:00–108:00
• Theme Song Contest/DJ Bathsheba: 134:00–135:12
• Chinese Supersonic Airplane Segment: 115:00–130:00

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Tone and Style

The show’s tone is fast, sharp, and irreverent—loaded with sarcasm, dark humor, and the unfiltered thoughts of degenerate “uncles around the breakfast table.” Riffs are punctuated by quick-hit anecdotes, vivid analogies, and tangents that range from scientific speculation to childish giggles about genitalia and bodily functions.

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Conclusion

This packed, two-hour Thanksgiving Eve episode delivers all the humor, skepticism, and Arizona-centric satire that have made Holmberg’s Morning Sickness a staple for listeners in the Valley. Whether cracking jokes about Hitler’s DNA and gay sheep, lamenting the enduring sadness of Arizona sports franchises, or describing family dysfunction in detail, the crew keeps the energy high and the conversation brutally, hilariously honest.

Transcript

[Brett Matthias]

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[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Dale]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Dale]

Out here years ago, I would go back to Thanksgiving and it only took about two or three times. I'm saying, is it worth it?

[John Holmberg]

Especially the comeback. Yeah, you can, you can pick and choose your dates to fly out today, tomorrow even and do that kind of when you come back. Everybody's coming back Sunday. Almost everybody's getting that. It's just, oh, airports. There's not much worse than airports. You know who ruined this? You know, the sons of bitches what ruined Thanksgiving. Made it too hard.

[Brett Matthias]

Thanks Obama.

[John Holmberg]

Al Qaeda. Well, close Al Qaeda. They made it so airports are nearly impossible to navigate anyway and you're just taking one in the ass the entire time. And then Thanksgiving rolls around and it's a disaster area. Yeah, Al Qaeda won that one. That, that was theirs. They, they changed some stuff in this country and that was their goal. They didn't really care about winning a war. They cared about Making us do all sorts of stuff. Taking a little freedom from us, man. Do they do it on weekends like this? And then you got that thing. If it's local, you got your family still living all in Phoenix. And so you get the ones you like and they always drag one or two of the ones you don't like. Then you got to walk on eggshells always. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. It sounds. Aw. Back to my awesome Thanksgiving ideas of today. I go by two pot belly subs from Potbelly. The turkey subs. None of that cranberry nonsense on them. Plop those there and I crush a couple of turkey. Pot belly subs. Watch Kennedy documentaries all weekend because it's awesome. Some football tomorrow and the new one that I just got and I'm halfway through Hitler's DNA blueprint of a dictator. It's pretty odd. You were talking about a few weeks ago and I was questioning. We have a lock of his hair. We don't actually. That turned out to be fals back in 2014. These guys actually took that off a conspiracy theorist.

[Dale]

So they said they had. The most recent one that I did was a fabric of blood off the couch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, same. Same guys. And they said that that can't be. And no DNA can be taken from that. Sure. Because that's the whole goal of this documentary is to find. So they got a male descendant of Hitler and they took his DNA. They guarantee it because there's no proof Hitler killed himself on that couch. It's. That's all speculation.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So they're like, well, if it's a blood soaked couch, it could be anybody. So it's the shroud of Torah and of Hitler. Like, you can't prove this. So they've got stuff that they know for sure is Hitler based, man. They have this new thing called polygenics. And it's, you know, everybody's like, right in the bedroom. Well, you'd think so. It's good for your teeth. It keeps your teeth in poly. Polygenics. Oh, yeah, she's gonna go crazy. But it kind of reminds me of when people first heard about DNA evidence where they're like, this is crazy. Like this science is too much. Like you will get polygenics and they can look at your DNA and break it down to what. What you're more susceptible to get to like, your leanings to being even like adhd. Then it becomes the nature nurture thing. Like, was it your parents, was it your surroundings that took you from what you are to, you know, your schizophrenic behavior, whatever, but you lean one way or the other. Polygenic sees that. So they say, like if they went into Brett's brain, they'd say, okay, he's leaning towards psychopathy.

[Dale]

And if we can get him that direction.

[John Holmberg]

And if. Yeah, you can. And the other way too is like, okay, if we know that going in, you can kind of curb some of the things that might cause that to flourish. So Hitler had the Hitler DNA that they pulled off of that. And what they think they still have of him kind of comboed up. They said all the stuff about neurodivergence, he had psychopathic tendencies. He had all these things. And they said, but it was all triggered and went the way of bad because he never. His left testicle never fell and he had most of the time with what he had micro. Like 12 to 15% of people have like an inch long penis.

[Dale]

Micropene.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a micropen big time micro penis. And that's what this whole. So the whole documentary is fascinating. It's a friend I had, you know, Ian sends it to me and he's got this thing, It's a British BBC 4 did it. And it's two parts. And the first part is all about like, oh, Hitler this, Hitler that, and how polygenics works and this. And then the second part basically starts off going, we're pretty sure we found out he's got a micro dick. And then they just go into that and it's the. Almost the whole documentary is like this, this was it. And Hitler was adamant after he saw what happened to Mussolini, like they took Mussolini in the town square and paraded him around. Adamant that he was burned. Like, do not let my body in the hands of anyone burn it. Like he was telling everybody, get. So that's what they're like, he did it himself. He couldn't guarantee that he wasn't going to get captured. And that was that. All the things Hitler did that. That made him. He could go to sleep at night. The one thing that kept him up was the world finding out his dick was little. That's how important it is to us ladies. That's weird. Men are about our wiener size. And that's how weird women have made us about our wiener size. It's because the, you know the avenues that women go down with all the lying and the, oh, it's size doesn't matter till like a girl breaks up with a guy and all you hear about is how he had a little dick or that little pinky move that some girls Do. I've seen him do it. It's so sad to watch some other guy have to fight back on that. And God forbid you had a micro penis, for crying out loud. Could you imagine? I'm sorry to all the guys listening because you're out there. Who has a micro penis? Please. It doesn't make you less of. Just tell better jokes. That's it. Just be a good joke teller. That's all you got. And in this day and age where you can swap out your micropene for a vagina. Go do it. Just go do it. You have. That's the times that I think those guys probably. I bet you all micropenis guys voted for Kamala based on that commercial that said you could go to jail and.

[Brett Matthias]

Get swapped out white dudes for Kamala.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. I bet you they all had micro dicks. And that's why no black guys voted for. Like, she's trying to make us girl.

[Dale]

Hell no.

[John Holmberg]

Hell no. I'm not cutting this up even if I go to jail. So yeah, she was trying to get that free for everybody. The micropene guys are like, yes.

[Dale]

But I wonder how many leaders were at that. You never hear too many, like kings or in. In history that have that Hitler's the most.

[John Holmberg]

Hitler's one that. Well, I mean, a lot of the kings were bad, but I mean, Hitler stood alone. I mean, I bet you.

[Dale]

And you'd probably never be able to write about that.

[John Holmberg]

Micro dick.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know that people recognize. I don't know.

[Dale]

It wasn't much. Right. I mean, writing it was a small penis.

[John Holmberg]

A bigger deal. Before women's rights, women didn't talk about.

[Dale]

If you're post them up on. On doors and, you know, 79 AD.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, if you're posting penis pictures and stuff.

[Dale]

And that was a sign of hospitality.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. But all dicks in play. Like, it seemed like back in the day, ladies just had to take what they took. You know? And actually, if you go back in history, a smaller one used to be the ones the ladies liked. And you have to remember, there was no hygiene back then. So it wasn't like you wanted to go, you know, mining that whole thing too much with. With a bigger auger.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you're just gonna rub up against the outside of it.

[Brady]

Get out of there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

You don't want a big package. Get it snagged on a log or something.

[John Holmberg]

Running through maybe the best name ever in our emails, too. Just said, it's a good morning. When the first thing I hear Is I start my truck and the radio comes on and I hear Hitler had a micro penis. It's gonna be a great day. Signed, Dick Downing. That's a great name, Dick. You don't have to worry about a thing if your name's Dick Downing unless you got a micro penis. But, yeah, they had this whole thing, polygenics. And they think that in the next 10 years, probably they can assess your DNA and start to manipulate it before the baby's born. It turns into eugenics, where you're like, you want his eyes to be blue. Click. And they move it because they're getting.

[Brett Matthias]

To the point where they're checking options on a car at the dealer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can do that now. And polygenics. It's very strange. I mean, they've been able to talk about it for a while. This. This.

[Dale]

Now they can do it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, this. You know, you saved stem cells when you were. When Kirby was born. I don't know if you bought into that. You didn't. Okay. Some people buy the core blood and all that, keep it in their fridge for later. So in case technology advances, you still have the ability to go back to the core blood and do stuff with that disease. Yeah. To fight diseases. They don't really have much for now that's kind of out of the way now. And they can manufacture the DNA early. And so if you're like, oh, he's neurodivergent, or he's got a real. He's got a real leaning towards that. They do that with mental retardation. Right. They tell you when your kid's in there, it's like, if they find out they can know early, they'd be like, what do you want to do about it?

[Dale]

There's a chance.

[John Holmberg]

Horrifying, right? And they tell you there's like an 80% chance it's going to come out goofy. And then parents are like, well, what do we do now? They can now do that and then change it. Yeah. Or they can't now, but they. They're saying that in the future for sure.

[Brett Matthias]

How many dads are going to be checking the Lex Steel size on their kids thing when that happens?

[John Holmberg]

Another reason that I'm responsible and not stupid for not having kids, because if this happened and I, you know, there was eugenics and polygenics out there. And they're like, he's got a micro penis. He's leaning heavy towards micropenis. I'm like, oh, let's roto rooter that out before I get to know him. And we'll start fresh with another one. I'm not putting that kid out there and having a Hitler. And that doesn't mean if you have micropenis, you're going to be Hitler, but it means that if you have a micro penis, you're probably going to be Hitler. I mean, why wouldn't you be? You got to have. You're not making a mark any other way. I don't. I can't imagine we've ever known anybody with a micro penis. That's normal. I don't think you can be. I think it's just. It's just such a. You can't. You can't just be a normal fella with a micro. There's something really goofy about you.

[Dale]

What is it, like 1 and 15,000 or something like that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was something. Well, we, when we used to do, it was always the. The Sun Stadium we used as an example. Every time you're there, there's a couple guys with micro penis. It was less than that. I think it was like one out of like eight. It's not that many, but they're out there. Yeah, that's right. Back in the old days, Brian Jones said big cranks were thought to be a sign of low intelligence. And then, so. But then as time went on, they're like, but they're better. If you have a micro penis, you have to be the Michael Jordan of cunnilingus. That is a fact. But you're not going to get a lot of chances because once a girl sees that that's what's down there. It's. It's bad. So that's. That's my Thanksgiving great name, too. Hitler's DNA blueprint of a dictator. And then they're like, how did they. How did it happen? And they use this science to say, this is. We could have predicted this. But you have to have the baseline of knowing the guy was nuts, then going to his DNA and saying, all right, which markers did he have that leaned him this way? And like, oh, my God, he had all of them. The little bit we know now, he's like, jesus, he's leaning towards crazy in almost every single one of them. And it looks like he's got a micro dick. And they went back in his medical records when he was a kid in Austria, and his left testicle never descended. Also, the whole thing about him being Jew. Remember they said that he was. Hitler had Jew. He didn't. And. But his left testicle didn't fall. And that because of. That affects like 15% of people who don't have that happen, end up with micro penis or never go through puberty all the way so their pee pees stay childlike. And he also had micropenis DNA to begin with, let alone the ball not coming. Oh, it's great. And it all answers a ton of questions. Probably had a Jewish doctor telling him, your dick's never going to grow. You've got this. And he blamed all the Jews for giving him this diagnosis. And then he went, yeah, now it does. It really does. I bet you Stalin had a little one. I bet you Pol Pot had a little one. I bet you IDI Amin. But you know, all things relative, he had a little one. He's down in Africa. That's a micro penises. Like, if I carried my penis around in Africa, I would. They'd be like, we are so sorry. Like, really? It seems pretty normal in America. Oh, but it is not here. You are going to be some sort of radical dictator. You think? Yes, it's pretty good. It's big as an iPhone. IPhone. What is that, by the way? We don't know what those are. Yeah, that's another reason I don't want to go to Africa with Jani. Go. To end up at an African urinal next to a couple of Janny's family members and go, oh, my God.

[Brett Matthias]

Why do you stand so close to.

[Brady]

What are you doing?

[John Holmberg]

Where are you going? To get yourself splashed? No, we're assuming they have plumbing. Come on. I have to stand here. It's going to get a little hollow. Where are your holders? My holders? Yes, the people that hold all the way to the urinal. If people for that, I must have three or I am a laughingstock of the entire tribe. I just have my hand. Just one. Yeah. I ain't going over there for that. I would be the Hitler of Africa. And you don't want that title. That's something you don't want on your. He was the Hitler of Africa. You don't really want that. That's no good. But yeah, that's Aryan DNA on a couch. That is so hot. Signed, J.D. vance. All right, all right. Also, a thing I saw last night before I went to bed and this bothered me greatly. Remember when we. Remember the argument people had? I called them crazy. And maybe they weren't, you know, in hindsight, with history as our guide, maybe they were right. When older people back in the early 2000s, way back in the aughts, they say was saying stuff like, we give gays that kind of right. And God knows what they'll do with the next thing you know, we'll be marrying animals and you know you can't have gay. This gay gay marriage is blah blah blah and they went nuts.

[Dale]

Opens up a can of worms.

[John Holmberg]

And if you give, if you give them that the gay will never end. Everywhere will be gay. Like, ah, you're out of your mind. You're not gay. You won't be gay just because people say you are. Hear the words you say sometimes.

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[John Holmberg]

Hey, this is Sarah. Look, I'm standing out front of a.m. p.m. Right now and well, you're sweet and all, but I found something more fulfilling, even kind of cheesy. But I like it. Sure, you met some of my dietary needs, but they've just got it all. So farewell Oatmeal.

[Brady]

So long, you strange soggy Break up with bland breakfast and taste AM PM's.

[John Holmberg]

Bacon, egg and cheese biscuit made with K tree eggs, smoked bacon and melty cheese on a buttery biscuit.

[Brady]

A.m. p M. Too much good stuff. Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

I remember arguing with a friend of mine who's a little bit religious about how well if you make make it okay for gays, where does it stop? You know, you marry children you may. They say you can't help who you love. And then that's the next step. And I'm like, oh, that's crazy. Goes. And gay is going to be everywhere. You won't be able to escape it. Everything. Every time you turn around, something else will be gay. Like that. It has gotten a little bit like that. There's an awful lot of gay stuff. But it's just an acceptance. And you know people. It's not really affecting me. I'm not going to be gay. Or influenced by the gay. But now this is too far. They're now making sheep try to be gay because they say that gay wool is better for production. So there's a guy out there who says that, and evidently I didn't know this till yesterday, that there are some sheep out there who are homosexual. Twink sheep. Yeah. That they. And if you've ever seen the walls so soft, a sheep in its natural thing, their asses are just covered in sheep poop. They're never clean. You shear them in like an hour later, there's just dingleberries all around that. You can't help it. I used to think when I was. Because at my grandpa's farm, we had a couple and they were fun and cute when you're little. And then they just start throwing out the Hershey's Kisses. It's almost like somebody turns a little dial on a candy machine, just tumbles out for like a minute and then half of it sticks to them. So to be a gay sheep is probably one of the worst gays you can be because it's just fighting through all that wool. It's got to be dry as a bone and then just poop everywhere. Am I wrong? Think about that for a second. Yeah. So this chip ahoyed this guy. Yeah, it's like Chips Ahoy. It's like there's little chips in there and they're in the wool. Try to get. Just try to get chocolate out of wool. It's impossible. Now just imagine you're made of it. This guy says gay sheep wool will be used to create couture fashion because homosexuality is part of nature. Wool from sheep that prefer same sex partners is now debuting at the New York fashion shows this month. A collection of knitwear by Los Angeles based designer Michael Schmidt called his collection I Will Survive. And all of his garments were created with gay sheep. And they're going gangbusters. People are buying into it and it's making things twice as expensive. If the sheep's wool is gay populations could Be limited. You'd think.

[Dale]

Eventually you'd think so.

[John Holmberg]

Charge a Premium says it's common practice for farms to cull rams, the male sheep that refuse to mate with ewes. So what this guy's doing is taking out the rams that aren't interested in lady sheep, putting them on a farm altogether, like some sort of weird sheep gay bar, and they're letting them hammer ram each other like crazy. I think Dodge is going to be angry at this and just change the name eventually if this takes hold.

[Brett Matthias]

So it's got the BSW farm over there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a BS west of Sheep. That's my gay sheep impression. It just sounds like a girl with that vocal fry. Scientists have estimated that as many as 9% of RAMs are sexually gay, a stat that led Michael Stuke to found Rainbow Wool, a nonprofit entirely focused on the wool of gay sheep. You got to do a lot of research to find out which ones are doing that, which ones are bisexual and.

[Dale]

Which ones are, like, if a ram, you know, in captivity is not mating.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Dale]

With any of the females, he's going to Rainbow.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. That's right. You're saying he says that he's.

[Dale]

If he was, you know, if the.

[John Holmberg]

Kardashian sheep walks by and he doesn't even get a little bit plump because that's his only job, they're like, all right, he's gay. And they put him into a pile like a prison. And now there's just a bunch of rams around, and a few of them are like, oh, I still want to do it. Where are the girls? Like, we there? Maybe they're just shy. And then the next thing you know, one gets on another, and it's this big ram gay orgy. But, yeah, they're saying that the gay wool is selling. Taylor Swift's involved. Cher got in on this because they're big supporters of the gay community. So they're like, somehow or another, this has trickled over to the gaze of. Of humanity and some sort of weird support move. If I was gay, I'd be like, all right, that's enough. We're not animals. This isn't. You know. But they are knockoff gay now. They're saying it's a human rights. Yeah, they're saying it's a human rights thing. I need to see a video. If I'm buying a wool sweater, and that Sweater is, like, 400 more than the straight wool, I need to see a video of that gay sex happening with my. And I need to see the process that this isn't some sort of scam because it is.

[Brett Matthias]

So you get, you get like a straight wool sweather at, at Walmart. But if you go to like, you know something, then you get the gay stuff, whoever carries.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you got to go to the. Well, you got to go to the rainbow. Rainbow baba. Some of those baba gay sheep. There's what they're making with it. Look at this outfit right here. It's. It's one of those. It's a. Wow. It looks like chain mail. Kind of from a knight. He's got no pants. He's got no pants. He's just wearing a sweater that hangs down a little.

[Dale]

Oh, it doesn't hug around.

[John Holmberg]

It's just a sweater that goes past his penis and then he's got no pants. And then those cool English boots on. So that takes off. I'll take hetero sheep myself then. Guess what's gonna happen? You're gonna have gay meats. You have like a gay butcher shop that only takes bulls and banging other bulls. This guy is adamant that it's happening in, in nature all the time. That that gay is so accepted now that farm animals are like, well, yeah, we're in and we're using it and they're gonna start charging us more for get. Like wagyu is the dumbest thing in the world. It's good beef. I think their farms make better, but I don't know that rubbing beer all over like they do. The Kobe and wagyu, they just give them massages all the time. I don't know if that's worth the extra 80 bucks per slab compared. Minimal movement compared to the. Yeah, it's compared to the, the cows that. I mean, it's definitely better than Lone Star when you go to a high end place. But I just assume that's just their preparation and their process where. And it's not, you know, en masse. You go to Ocean44 and you get a steak, it's been wet aged. It's got this whole thing. They've got a very specific farm they buy from. It's not, you know, hundreds and hundreds of thousands of cows because they have a chain. There's just two or three stores. Right. So they don't have. They have a better choosing process, but they, they throw wagyu at you, you know, like really? No, they give it massages. I'm like, does the callus meet? Does that matter? Is it that much different? That one is $40 and one's 135.

[Dale]

This is an A12 yeah, I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Know what that means. Does that mean what if the massage therapist sucks? What if your wagyu farm, the guy rubbing your cow is not very good at it? Does that make the meat less or good better? I can't imagine it matters. But you know when it matters is when it's on your plate and then the bill comes. They do 3 ounces at. Catch. 3 ounces of hot rock. Wagyu. 3 ounces. Brady, I can spit that in front of you in the next minute.

[Dale]

Hey.

[John Holmberg]

And charge extra for it now. Oh, God. That's probably. It's been soaked in gay release, and now it's. It's been marinating in gay release. You've got a gay wagyu, but 3 ounces is like. I think it was $85 an ounce. You're not getting any food. We've spent, you know, in Vegas. Catch. They comp it. Thank God. But it was like $3,100 for a table of five to eat. Wagyu. Hot rock was insane. And I'm sitting there thinking it's good, but is this $3,000 worth of food?

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just because somebody said they gave the cow a massage. I mean, that's how you get laid at 2am you walk up to the end of the bar, you give the cow a massage. She's like, contact, contact. And then you go home.

[Dale]

That's free.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, here's another outfit they're making with gay wool. This guy's in a jock strap and a half shirt carrying a football. All right, enough. So not only do the gay wool make better clothes, evidently it makes it gayer clothes because the. I didn't see, like, a nice shirt and pants most of the time. The gay wool comes to make tight underpants and sweaters that don't go past your ball. No pants so far. I don't think they can make pants improving that. Oh, wait, no, they can. It's a fireman.

[Dale]

There we go.

[John Holmberg]

Injustice pants. So gay wool is only for gay clothes. We gotta slow down a little bit about this. So the gays. You. You're the ones that have to be upset about it. Stop making it. So if. And you start getting. My neighbors Michael and Troy start having to pay extra for gay clothes. They already pay a lot for their high fashion. Now you add a little gay wool to that, they're not gonna be happy about it. You start taking their money. Rainbow wool. That's what you look. And it's. They used.

[Dale]

I'd like to see that guy visit the farms and choose the ones.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The ones that are just.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I would actually like to see it. Could you imagine the smell? Sheep already stink and now you're plugging them from behind. Forget it.

[Dale]

I'm out. I think he sees them bumping heads. They're ramming each other.

[John Holmberg]

All right. This guy said he partnered with Rainbow Wool and Grinder and made a 36 piece collection for Manhattan's. I know. I'm with you on that. It's just almost. Almost enough to just shut her down. It's an animal rights story and a gay rights story. That's what they keep saying. Human rights and animal rights coming together. And they spelled coming funny.

[Dale]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what's going on here. Stop it. That's enough. Gays. Good question. My friend Jesse asked, do they have gay lesbian wool? That would be good. Pulling the wool the lesbians they love. Yeah. Where you catch a couple of sheep out there scissoring in the middle of the farm and like, whoa.

[Brett Matthias]

Come on, man.

[John Holmberg]

That was going to be twice as much. Tell you what, man, I like watching that man is out there. Two sheep, man. The ram walked by and they just said, get out of here, man. And then they got some wind chimes and moved in together and started the scissor. It's a good question. Is lesbian, Wilmore?

[Dale]

It's kind of real tight. It's long on one side, tight on the other side.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We got our lesbian friend Jay out there as Farmer Jay. Guten talk. Tell you what, man. I was out there, I was slapping the hogs, if you know what I mean. And I looked over and I'm like, set. Sheep over there going down on that other one, man. What's going on there, man? That's oral. And so I. I shaved them, man. I sheared them. Shave big. Shaved. And they started to do it some more. So that's some. Some dyke wool we got out there, man. And I'm going for it. That's extra.

[Dale]

Then you'll have the religious one. We'll be out of wall. They keep pushing this agenda.

[John Holmberg]

A farmer J man out here taking care of the gay animals. My grandpa had a farm. And I don't think I ever remember any of the animals.

[Dale]

Think 9%.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett Matthias]

You remember the sheep prancing around?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sheep are kind of gay anyway. They kind of do gay stuff. But the mean ones don't. They smash kids. Let me just tell you that you learn as a. As a. As a grandson of a farmer, you learn fast that sheep are the ones to worry about cows, they just look at you. Horses, you don't walk behind them. Sheep hang out with the kids and then just lose their minds every once in while. I'm just bludgeon you. I was smashed up against a barn wall by a sheep. And he didn't let go. He just took his head and just walloped my little 5 year old body up against the side of a wall. And he was strong.

[Dale]

And they battle each other for the punani.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, not these. Not these, Brady.

[Brett Matthias]

These are for.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. These guys don't. The ones we're talking about, they're not fighting for punani. These are the ones that sit back and fight for. Well, they probably have dance offs and stuff. That's all they're doing. It's just like fierce, shantay, sashay. But yeah, they. They like for no reason at all. You just be hanging out with a bunch of sheep and you're squishing his back. He's adorable. And then one will just look, boom. And just smash you. And then the other sheep kind of just keep eating, but they side eye it like, nice. None of them are ever like, hey, hey, Terry, why'd you do that for? It's just a kid. No, they're all kind of happy with it.

[Brett Matthias]

Sounds like this on the farm.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Hey, guys. So it's mating season, huh? What do you guys want to do? Not you. What are you dancing for? The mating ritual on our side of the farm. You guys are gay sheep, right? Way to go, Sherlock Holmes. You don't want me at all. It's gross.

[Dale]

The fences aren't even wire. They're glass.

[John Holmberg]

They're awesome. They've got bars and lights. Who designed this farm? The farmer, of course. My wool is better than her wall. Oh, it should be sold for a much higher price. They don't bleep. They just go. Tell you what, man, that. That ram over there is blowing that other rim, man. We got gay sheep. That's a awesome. That's high prices, man. That's a real story we're doing. That's a real thing in the world. That's a. That's happening. And it's dangerous to say it's stupid because they're making it about gay rights. Not just gay sheep. Like the dude in the story is all about. Like, no, this is gay rights. This is. Animals need to be recognized as gay too. And if you don't like those, then you don't like any gays at all. Like, they make it like this all or nothing kind of proposition to say if you think this is silly. You hate gay people. And that's not true at all. I'm just. I think you're a creep for standing at a farm, watching a couple sheep butt each other and then, like, say, that's awesome. I think that's weird. I don't think you should. I don't think you should know if a sheep is gay, like, at all. I don't think you should be like, that's the gay one. How do you know? I wish I didn't. But I saw it. I saw it happening right before my eyes. They're not really discreet like real human gays. They walk around. That one's pretty flamboyant. And he just loves that Ronin song, that Pink Pony Club. My God, that guy can't get enough of it. He plays it constantly in the farm. So check your wool today. You might have one of those straight wool. And really, it's kind of a shot at us straights. Your wool is cruddy. Gay wool is better. Making gay more expensive and more valuable is designer. That kind of trickles over into human life. So maybe your grandparents were right. Give them an inch, they'll take them out. Next thing you know, you'd be talking about gay sheep. Oh, Grandpa, you're insane. Mark my words, there's gonna be homosexual sheep somewhere in your future. Oh, Grandpa's lost it. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Sorry about Grandpa. He's a little bit behind. Turns out if he was still alive, if you went to his grave, you'd hear from a muffled under that dirt. There it is, right in front of you. Anyway, weird way to start our Thanksgiving show. It is time for a wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. And we'll scream it together. It's 98K video.

[Brady]

Wake up, Arizona's most powerful rock media station.

[John Holmberg]

He said full direct. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail]. Ah, thank you, Miles to nowhere. What a wonderful year it's been with them at the helm doing our theme song. And we'll find out who our new theme song is written by next Tuesday. We're gonna do it last night. But none of the bands in Palladio were able to actually make it. At least, you know, we'd have gone down to what, like, Jesus? It would have been seven. Tenth place would have been like, that's no good, because then you got a lot of this going on.

[Brett Matthias]

He said he was gonna win, so.

[John Holmberg]

He did say he's gonna win. Maybe rigged the contest and all the rest of them are fake, but. Yeah. So we may be.

[Dale]

Might have a new single out by now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, he could. Yeah. Well, I mean, he can do it in his car on his way to work, and evidently that's good enough for production. And then, of course, Rob Menino was drilled into everyone's heads for a little while yesterday. And I was struggling yesterday not to. Just occasionally. And I. I forgot I was in the car. And I just. For some reason in my head, just Robin, you know, like, it just came out like it was singing a song like an air. When I'm like, oh, my God, I'm singing the man's name and not even realizing I'm doing it at this point. Playdoh was fun this year, so hopefully we all move on to next Tuesday and crown a champion rather than haphazardly shoehorn in a show last night with people whoever could make it. That's dumb. And so now we're gonna have one hell of a show next Tuesday for free down at Copper Blues downtown, which I think is a much better way to do it, so. And everybody scrambled, thanks to the club. Larry got everything right, did everything. Toledo did some reorganizing. We got all the bands in. It's going to be a fun show. And then they have to write our theme song, which is even better.

[Brett Matthias]

I want that guy to write it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna jump through your microphone and just strangle this dude if we have any plans. It gets weirder.

[Brett Matthias]

People on the 10 just driving into the medians.

[John Holmberg]

It is. It's Stewart from Mad TV back in the 90s. It is exactly that. Thanksgiving is here. You're staying in town?

[Dale]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Just a short family thing. Got people coming over. You're gonna do just the three? No. That's beautiful. You have a hobo Thanksgiving every year.

[Brett Matthias]

So many people.

[John Holmberg]

And you do it for people who, like, you, become their family.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like, it's not. Is it solos? Are there some solos coming, or is it all.

[Brett Matthias]

Yeah, there's a couple, but it's. It's mostly. Mostly couples. And, you know, some of them that. I don't want to go to my.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. In law's house.

[Brett Matthias]

I want to go to, you know, like, it's that kind of thing.

[John Holmberg]

Recently divorced.

[Brett Matthias]

I'm at the end of the day. No. No reason. This is kind of. The base crew has been doing this for the last 10, 15 years, so.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Matthias]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And say it again. Last year you threw a number at me, and I almost threw Up. How many are coming?

[Brady]

I don't.

[Brett Matthias]

She never takes. I'm like, can we get a count? So I know we have enough chairs or something. Oh, I don't know. And so I think Christmas, we had 40 something.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God.

[Brett Matthias]

Thanksgiving last year, I think it was 30 and change. You're telling me. Oh, Brett Matthias invites the entire city of Mesa.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. And is there any criteria on who gets an invite? Yeah, like, is it somebody at the bar? Like for the hole?

[Brett Matthias]

Oh, hell no.

[John Holmberg]

Some guy with a trunk. Now you can have class.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, come on. I would venture to guess I could find a couple people in your house tomorrow without class.

[Brett Matthias]

Oh, yeah, definitely. And especially after dinner, after a few cocktails.

[John Holmberg]

How do you move them out?

[Brett Matthias]

Well, now we got the new house, the new property. Yeah, we got the space. So.

[John Holmberg]

So they just stay there?

[Brett Matthias]

What, like overnight? Yeah, we've had a few. I think one year we had five people crashed out on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, I get the crash out. Can you? Like, how do you start? Okay, let's mop her up here.

[Brett Matthias]

Usually they do it themselves. It hasn't been an issue.

[John Holmberg]

That's good.

[Brett Matthias]

Yeah.

[Dale]

40 adults.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's the problem. Adults sometimes just don't know when to leave.

[Dale]

But it's.

[Brett Matthias]

It's the guys, you know, everybody separates too. All the chicks, the guys are out back on.

[Brady]

Oh, God.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think there's any worse noise than when you're ready to close up your house and you hear, see that one Dudes in the corner just cracked open. Another one like, oh, cry.

[Dale]

Anyone getting it on?

[Brett Matthias]

There's a solo cup, man.

[John Holmberg]

Do you know you're the only one here? I can't ever imagine being the guy who is the only one left. Like, I'm the last thing that wouldn't leave. The thing that won't leave. Yeah, it's the. Like, you didn't see everyone else leave and you think that then did you just solo crack open another one?

[Brett Matthias]

Better chug it, bro.

[John Holmberg]

It's over the door. Over your last.

[Dale]

Is there one that stands out more so than anyone that does? Absolutely.

[Brett Matthias]

A person?

[Dale]

Nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Like, don't even offer to help. Don't even offer.

[John Holmberg]

Do you have anybody coming over that's going to just eat and leave and not. No.

[Brett Matthias]

Because they won't be invited back.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly.

[Brett Matthias]

I remember one time at my mom's house because we'd invite some friends over and this guy, this guy brought his girlfriend over. My mom comes out of the kitchen while they're all doing the dishes and stuff. She goes, hey, you, get your ass in the kitchen.

[John Holmberg]

Who, me?

[Brett Matthias]

Oh, yeah. She was pissed because there was a.

[John Holmberg]

Broad not doing Broadway. Oh, God. Italian.

[Brett Matthias]

That is 100% true.

[John Holmberg]

Not a lot better than an Italian.

[Brett Matthias]

Meanwhile, we're all sitting there like Al Bundy with our own.

[John Holmberg]

Of course, man, it was good. The men had provided the meal. Now clean it up.

[Brett Matthias]

Oh, my mom, she mad because there.

[John Holmberg]

Was one broad that just. Yes, all the other broads are in the kitchen.

[Brett Matthias]

And she's just like, you.

[John Holmberg]

Let's go. Yeah. You don't even realize it when you walk through Brett's door. You're in a time machine. Incredible. It's like going back in Mad Men, which I love.

[Brett Matthias]

Oh, I've been watching username.

[John Holmberg]

It was just you. You get up. You already ate way too much. You're getting sick in the middle. Oh, my God. Yeah, I wish I could have seen that.

[Dale]

If I even going into work today.

[Brett Matthias]

Yeah, she has to go in for a little while.

[John Holmberg]

So how long is your preparation period? You gotta start the second get home today.

[Brett Matthias]

Well, we're still like, we had so much stuff, you know, with. With my dad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Matthias]

Being, you know, sick for so long. Everything's just falling to the wayside. The house. So now it's just been a mad scramble, like getting the house straightened out, putting stuff away, you know, it's just been a nightmare.

[John Holmberg]

So I'm uncomfortable talking about it. I'm getting anxiety. And I'm gonna need a pot belly sub, which I will get today to be super prepared. Let's get ahead of the. Oh, way ahead. The best. I don't get the food holiday. I get the getting together and stuff, but I just don't get to scramble. It drives me nuts. Like, I feel like it's forced on us. I guess that's my thing about Thanksgiving is I feel like it's all forced. You have to do this. You have to do. I'm like, no, why don't we just do this when we want to spend time together? Let's just have a party someday rather than, ah, it's Thanksgiving. I gotta do it. It's like, okay, I love.

[Brady]

I love it.

[Brett Matthias]

But it's like leading up to it sucks.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's horrible.

[Brett Matthias]

It's like, you know, got to get everything straightened out.

[John Holmberg]

It's weird even for the three.

[Dale]

I picked up a couple of things yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're not doing any weird stuff, like in the ground stuff?

[Dale]

No.

[Brett Matthias]

Dirt turkey.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're not doing any zombie turkeys. Again, are you?

[Dale]

No.

[John Holmberg]

What's the weirdest thing you got going on? You got something weird?

[Dale]

Nothing doing. Trying something new. I'm picking up an apple pie today from the Miracle Mild Deli.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're saying you're trying a new place? Yeah, but an apple pie is clearly not any risk.

[Dale]

Yeah, I got you.

[John Holmberg]

You consider that risky cocktail that if we're gonna do some steaks, Miracle Mile is not up to snuff on the apple pie.

[Brady]

No, no.

[Dale]

They're good bakery items, so I've never had their apple pie.

[John Holmberg]

That's not much of a risk. That's pretty good, though. Yeah, that's simple. Top dog stuff. Little apple pie, bike ride, maybe. Yeah, Yeah. I. I'm dodging it all Thanksgiving, so I get just people. I've been to three where it's just like. Nobody's happy. It's like everybody's just wanting to go home. And I'm like, why do we do this? Like, you had. You felt like. And you feel like you got to get ready. You can't just go to a normal place, like a restaurant, put. Put clothes on. And ours is just casual. Yeah, that's casual.

[Brett Matthias]

Just everybody show up, bring what you're drinking, and let's just do this, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, put a button up shirt. It's like, that's my nightmare.

[Dale]

You got, you know, three football games or stuff going on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Matthias]

And tomorrow's was a Packers. Lions.

[John Holmberg]

Let's get some good games. That's.

[Brett Matthias]

My buddy's a big Lions fan and the wife's a Packers fan, so they're gonna. Oh, yeah, it's gonna be great.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Mine's gonna be super quiet.

[Dale]

Hear much anymore of Thanksgiving football games that used to happen?

[John Holmberg]

Last year I went by a park to see if it was still a thing. You know, it was soccer. Mexican soccer was happening at the park.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, it wasn't my neighborhood. Please. I was gonna say.

[Brett Matthias]

I mean, what, did you go Maryvale or what?

[Dale]

What is this our neighborhood?

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, look at that. There's no football games. I'm like, well, technically there's football, but it's like, not. Yeah, I didn't see. There's no turkey bowls.

[Dale]

There's one in our neighborhood every year, but it's ridiculous. Like, 60 on 60.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. There's no cuts. That's the problem I had with Mormon.

[Brett Matthias]

Ward 2 against Mormon Ward 4, and.

[John Holmberg]

They'Re just like, who cares? We need 40 wide receivers and just throw it. And everybody tackles each other.

[Brady]

And.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Turkey Bulls used to Be the best. They are dead and gone. Because a soft generation can't take a punch without getting a concussion. So they don't even allow them to play Nerf football. Can't throw a real hard football at him. What if it hits Braden in the face? He'll get a concussion. It'll never know. Mass.

[Guest or Announcer]

Well, you've got five doctors in the ward, right? Sure. You can find one of them.

[John Holmberg]

60 on 60. One of them is gonna be all right.

[Brett Matthias]

30 dentists, you know.

[Guest or Announcer]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

You're not gonna lose a tooth. They'll get that thing right back in there in the Mormon wards. But, yeah, I found the park. Wasn't Granada. It wasn't the one by my house. Although I bet you that had some soccer too.

[Brett Matthias]

Busing them in or what?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know, they find big park spread.

[Brady]

It's.

[Brett Matthias]

Where all of a sudden they just bust them in for.

[John Holmberg]

You go to a decent neighborhood and you find a big piece of grass. We're gonna have Thanksgiving with them. Pigeon John, can we use your park? I don't care. I'm gonna be close to. Watch out for the Joes. They might play softball. What's going on? We've been infiltrated by the Browns. I didn't realize the Browns were actually Browns. We're looking to play a little softball here. If you could move this back south. We're not going south. Of course. Or not. They're not ice. Don't worry. But I don't know what's going to happen. But there aren't any turkey bowls. You don't see anybody's. That used to be a hap. I have to happen. Yeah. We keep it real cool. Thanksgiving is maybe a dinner. Like go out for it. But I don't. There's no cleanup. There's no. And then if you want to go out with the family later. That's the thing that makes me realize that you. A lot of people don't really want to be with their families. They only force it in there on Thanksgiving. It's like, why don't you just go take them out to dinner next Friday? Are you crazy? My mother. She'll go nuts.

[Dale]

Packs after dinner. In the afternoon, it's always walking. There's like random groups because they got.

[John Holmberg]

To get away from people. There's too much going on in the house. Brady.

[Guest or Announcer]

That's healthy.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's really good to have.

[Dale]

Funny how many there are out there. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How many healthy people there are. Yeah. That is kind of a thing. But yeah. Taking a walk after a big meal Is it? But it's also, let's be honest, an escape from that room. Most of the time, it's to talk about how drunk one of your aunts is.

[Guest or Announcer]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. She's gonna throw a punch this year. I can feel it.

[Brett Matthias]

And bars get busy on Thanksgiving, too.

[John Holmberg]

Crazy.

[Brett Matthias]

You know, they all open at 3, 4 in the afternoon.

[Dale]

Tonight's the crazy night.

[John Holmberg]

Well, tonight's the 99. But I remember working on at Tony Roma's on Thanksgiving thinking, who the hell's. And that place was packed.

[Guest or Announcer]

Same. Same thing.

[John Holmberg]

I was blown away. And I'm going, if I go anywhere, it'll be a restaurant. Not gonna do any. Anything in that.

[Guest or Announcer]

And there was a wait. Like, people wouldn't call ahead to see, but there was a wait at Black Angus to get in. On Thanksgiving, you come with your family.

[John Holmberg]

We had two hours. We had two hours. We had to do a special that was off menu, like, to keep up. Turkey. I remember Tony Romas was in there. Insane. Like, go, go, go. It was hours, and people just kept flooding in. I'm like, what is happening? I thought everybody stayed home, one thing. But then you realize you're one of, like, five places that's open. So, yeah, if I go anywhere, it's a restaurant. I don't want a big, messy thing. We've done that. You do the thing at home, and people came over, and you're just staring, and you can't help it. You know what? I think it would work better if you were gay. Because if you have a wife like your mom, at the end of the night, she's gonna be mad at one of the other women for some reason or another. I remember one year, Megan was angry because her sister. I don't know who those people were. They brought. I think it was in laws of some sort from other distant. Yeah. She goes. And we had to entertain them the whole time. Well, it's our house. Well, I don't know why they didn't do anything. They sat outside the whole time. Right. Well, they're just enjoying their evening. She could have gone over there and made those people more comfortable. I felt like we had one now. It's kind of our responsibility. It's our house a little bit now. It was like. No, just. You just want to be mad at a woman. I understand. That's a. You spend four hours with a woman. Yeah. You had to have some of that. Because I was just like, let's just get out of here.

[Guest or Announcer]

Is Brady still the only one with punches thrown? I never had that in one of.

[John Holmberg]

Ours, I had a storm out once. Brady's the only one that's got a physical altercation.

[Guest or Announcer]

Oh, I had a storm out. Brother in law got up and slammed his beer on the table and walked out because we were. I don't remember what we're talking about, but politics.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, something like that. Megan's sister stormed out of El Charo angry at the family because her son was talking to a waiter about being a Patriots fan. And the waiter was a Seahawks fan and I was a Steelers fan. We were making fun of Patriots fans for being miserable cheaters. And he started getting a little loud. And then that triggered something from before that we didn't even know what was going on. And those two started to go at it. And the next thing she knows, you've ruined another wonderful day. And then slammed something down and walked out. And I'm like, Bill just now got here. That's kind of a scam. I think they did this on purpose, at least. Full alligator arms.

[Brett Matthias]

I mean, they're storming on, making a scene.

[John Holmberg]

In fairness, she did pay. Like she kicked in, but it was like, that was. I see what's going on here.

[Dale]

At least her throw down was at the end of the night. I mean, it.

[John Holmberg]

Ours was sped up.

[Dale]

They tend to be a time to connect.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody build. It's a build right where there's blood. Thanksgiving, it was a build.

[Guest or Announcer]

You'd prefer it if it was right when they walk in the door and then you, you know, more food for.

[John Holmberg]

Everyone to be great. If it was like a wrestling, walking, waiting. The music starts and then the door swings open and she just goes.

[Brady]

And.

[John Holmberg]

Kicks the living be Jesus out of whoever she's been mad at all year.

[Guest or Announcer]

12 months for this.

[John Holmberg]

All year she's been staring you down. And today's the day we're in a room together. I'm taking down Aunt Hattie. I've had it. That bitch has been all over me. But Thanksgiving, wild.

[Dale]

Fun. Fact is, tonight is one of the largest pizza ordering nights.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? Yeah. Because people don't want to do any work today.

[Guest or Announcer]

John, I know you'll disagree with this, but my family did this for four years straight. Went straight to Casino Arizona, hit the buffet. It was awesome. Full spread, simple, good, and no cleanup.

[John Holmberg]

Here's my problem with that. And I don't have a problem with that, but here's my one problem with that. One year I did that and I discovered that that's like where Jehovah's Witnesses go. Really? Like the weirdest group of people I've ever been around.

[Dale]

Can you.

[Guest or Announcer]

How can you identify?

[John Holmberg]

You just know.

[Guest or Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can spot them.

[Dale]

They don't talk to you at the buffet.

[John Holmberg]

Those alien eyes looking around.

[Brett Matthias]

They're all unhappy pamphlets on their table.

[John Holmberg]

And that was the crazy thing. None of them were playing games. They were there for the food, but they weren't turkey day, and they weren't celebrating a thing. Weirdos looking around at each other like. But they're not allowed to have any of the turkey because that means they're celebrating Thanksgiving. But if they do, they have to make up a lie in their head. So they're constantly scheming. It looks like a bunch of criminals before they commit the crime. Just looking around, like, biting that turkey. Then I'm kind of celebrating Thanksgiving, so I got to come over this.

[Guest or Announcer]

So take the beef option.

[John Holmberg]

No, they internally lie to themselves that they don't really want. They're just having turkey. They would have it anyway.

[Guest or Announcer]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter what day it is. And then they're like, but if I eat that, I'm kind of falling into the. I went to the casino once, and it was just full of weirdos. And then I realized that makes me one of them.

[Guest or Announcer]

Because you're attracted.

[John Holmberg]

Because I'm like, I didn't want to do Thanksgiving either, and here I am at the casino and having a good time.

[Guest or Announcer]

Is that when you settled on potbelly?

[John Holmberg]

I did Christmas Eve at the casino with my friend Jim once. He. He was here by himself. I'm like, I'll go with you. We'll go over there and do that. I finished my duties, and I'm like, we'll go over and whatever.

[Brady]

And.

[John Holmberg]

And that's the good thing about. I think that's why. Why they do Chris Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners at, like, 2 in the afternoon. So everybody's tired at 5 and get the hell out of the house. So it was like, seven, and I'm like, we'll go over the casino and we'll mess around. It was nice, but it was the same vibe of, like, Jews and Jehovah's Witnesses just sitting, looking at each other.

[Guest or Announcer]

Was it oddly full?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was really packed.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then family started to roll in.

[Dale]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

But it was a. Yeah. Thanksgiving's a weird one to, like, be at a casino. Yeah.

[Guest or Announcer]

I did a Shreveport, Louisiana, when I was living in Arkansas. I had to get the hell out. So I went down to.

[John Holmberg]

Drove to Shreveport, Louisiana, so much, it.

[Guest or Announcer]

Was like an hour, hour 15.

[John Holmberg]

That's sad.

[Dale]

Was that better Than the barrel.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the old Cracker Barrel.

[Guest or Announcer]

Before I did the barrel.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you've had some strange ones.

[Brett Matthias]

I've said that before, too. She'll be like, well, do you think we have enough to go? If they don't like it, they can.

[John Holmberg]

Go to Cracker Barrel.

[Brett Matthias]

I don't give a damn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they'll figure it out on their way home. It's already free as it is.

[Guest or Announcer]

Don't sell Cracker Barrel short.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not saying it's bad.

[Brett Matthias]

I'm just.

[John Holmberg]

No, stop it. That is not a Thanksgiving destination.

[Guest or Announcer]

Brett's meal is what?

[Dale]

Is what?

[Guest or Announcer]

Domestic.

[John Holmberg]

If he doesn't. If you didn't get enough food, you're probably fat.

[Brett Matthias]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you're just. You're gonna hoard. Yeah. It's just such a weird holiday to me. I like it.

[Guest or Announcer]

Sounds like you might have had somebody complain one year.

[Brett Matthias]

No, no, no, no, no. But she just worries that, you know. Well, did we get it? You know?

[Dale]

Yeah. When we need rolls.

[Brett Matthias]

Oh, maybe we need this. Yeah, that's. There's plenty here. And then my fridge is just stacked with leftovers afterwards.

[John Holmberg]

We're not gonna have enough. We'll have plenty. Trust me. And at the end, there's all that tin foil and wrapping up and Tupperware. It's like we had more than enough.

[Brett Matthias]

Just get some addresses from Jani. I'll send it on over.

[John Holmberg]

I'm done. Brady, you should try something new for Thanksgiving. And call Butterball and just breathe heavy and talk dirty and see if they're into it.

[Dale]

The hotline.

[John Holmberg]

Hotline.

[Dale]

You think they're not ready for that?

[John Holmberg]

Butterball Hotline, can I help you?

[Dale]

Hey, it's a tradition. Every night, about 10pm thinking about making a second turkey.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if I can rally up. Maybe you should preheat the oven, if you know what I mean.

[Dale]

What?

[John Holmberg]

I said maybe you should preheat the oven, if you know what I mean.

[Dale]

Say again?

[John Holmberg]

Maybe you should preheat. This isn't sexy. If I have to yell it. I can't hear anything on the phone. My grandpa played first base, too. What? That's a commercial for the phone. What are you doing?

[Dale]

This isn't going well.

[Brady]

Hold on.

[John Holmberg]

Let me get my miracle here. Say that again. Maybe you should preheat the oven premature. What? I'm gonna hang up. No. What?

[Guest or Announcer]

The line's been dead for.

[Dale]

I miss you, Butterball.

[Guest or Announcer]

Brady's still talking.

[John Holmberg]

Are you still there? I am, just because. I'm just curious when you're gonna hang out Because I know you can't hear me. I can't hear you, so I don't know if you're still there or not, but I can hear stuff. I'm gonna baste the turkey now, if you know what I mean. You make me sick. This is so gross. Oh, God. I can hear it. Oh, baby. Gobble, gobble, Gobble it all up. Gobble, gobble.

[Dale]

Asking him to gobble.

[John Holmberg]

Can I hang up now?

[Brady]

What?

[Dale]

I need you to gobble a couple of times.

[John Holmberg]

You can't hear him. Anyway, happy Thanksgiving, everybody. It's just a strange one. And don't ask me. I might stop asking if I have any plans. I already told you, it's a thing. I just think that, you know, it's more of a test for me to. To avoid the. The mess. I don't like shoehorn things. That's a personal thing, and I need to get over it, truthfully. But I don't like the. Today's the day we do this and you have to go down this road. It's like, why can't I have dinner with these people on a normal night and then call it the same thing? Because it's just not. We're so regimented into this sheep get in line kind of thing. And I feel like Thanksgiving does that to us, where it's like, you gotta have dinner with these people. If I wanted to have dinner with them, I would.

[Dale]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

I don't want it forced on me.

[Guest or Announcer]

The only person in town for you is your mom. Right? Do you?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm having fine time food with her today.

[Guest or Announcer]

Oh, today?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. A pre think because I don't want to go to my sister's because that's where she is, and I ain't going over there. That's awful.

[Dale]

You don't have any of her stew, huh?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what kind of witches brew and lizard guts they're eating over there. I'm not doing it. Some strange attempt to Cure Covid in 2025 in some pot.

[Guest or Announcer]

You talk to the brother in law at all?

[John Holmberg]

What's the point? Yeah, he's just gonna invite me over and I'll be like, you can't. Your wife's a. He's nice. I like him a lot. He's a very nice guy. But off he goes. He's made his choice, and rightfully so. Yeah, I mean, he made the wrong choice. He still should have stuck with.

[Guest or Announcer]

But he made it.

[John Holmberg]

He made a choice. I mean, if you're going with her as a wife or me As a friend, he screwed up, but yeah, that's a.

[Brett Matthias]

What's man doing?

[John Holmberg]

Dan's in Texas killing stuff. He killed an elk the other day and text me and needs a meat. I now know how my dad's not gonna. Like I'm gonna. How the phone call that's gonna come is not gonna be good. Your dad's stuck on the side of a mountain. Like, what happened? Who's. He killed an elk and he's climbing. He text me this gigantic elk he killed.

[Dale]

We just have his last longitude.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, got some sort of a coordinate. You got to go get him. I'm like, you gotta go get him. As far as I'm concerned, that's where his resting place is.

[Guest or Announcer]

I'll put a stone there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'll find it someday. But I'm not flying out there to climb a hill to carry a 200 pound man back. No, but he would get this elk. I sent Brady the picture. The elk is massive.

[Dale]

Nice. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And then he goes. Had to hike up to 8,500 elevation to get to that. I could barely breathe. And I'm like, you're. You're almost 80. I know. Knock it off. All that's morning sickness. Hear the words you say sometimes.

[Guest or Announcer]

I mean, who talks like that?

[Dale]

98.

[Brady]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

That's how you go, you know? Well, if that's how I go, I'm like, no, no, no. You won't be saying that when you're huffing and puffing on that hill.

[Guest or Announcer]

One tumble down the mountain and then you and. Hi, Yella.

[John Holmberg]

Hi. Yellow didn't go with him. A couple hours later, there he is with the skull and horns of an elk. I'm like, thanks for the pictures. Ed Gein. That's enough. Skinned it right there and he's smiling ear to ear, and it's just a skin skull.

[Dale]

You have to at that elevation, haul it down.

[John Holmberg]

Do ya?

[Dale]

Yeah. You got a quarter?

[John Holmberg]

You know, I suggest maybe just incredibly potent paintballs at this point. You don't need to do here. The meat's gonna outlive him. He's 80, for Christ's sake. That's like eight years of meat. How many freezers does he have? Hundreds. And I know I'm gonna inherit nine freezers. I'll put an order for you.

[Brady]

Don't worry about it.

[John Holmberg]

It's coming whether I ask or not. He's coming out early December. He texted, goes, we're coming out December 5th, and I'd love to have dinner with you guys. I'm like, all right, we can do that. I'll also be bringing a massive cooler of oat. Now, that's why you're coming out pawning office, because you're pawning off all that dead animal. You don't want to see me, you got to get rid of merch. No, no, no. I want to see your sister, too. I know merch. They like elk meat, don't they? Yeah, but not by the hundreds of pounds. You bring it to us in growth. A steak, a sausage, and then I'll give Brady a couple. So bring five. Not. Here's a bag. Here's a bag that no one man can carry. Here, you pick up one half. Literally, last time he showed up, he just stands on the porch. By the way, I don't know what happened to him. So they show up at the house, supposed to go to dinner, and they show up 45 minutes before they're supposed to. I just get out of the shower, get a towel, and I see shadows on the front patio. And I'm like, what the hell is going on out there? Open the window. I'm like, jesus Christ, they're here. And I just left them out there. I'm like, well, we said 4:30. That's quarter to 4. I don't know what he's doing. He's gonna sit outside. So I looked out. He's got this. Keeps peeking in this cooler. Oh, Jesus Christ, it's gonna melt.

[Dale]

He's there to pregame.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I don't know what he's there to do. We're getting ready. He's gonna sit outside or inside by himself. So either way, it was a nice day. So we sat on the front patio, and I opened the door and I got some clothes on. I'm like, what are you doing? Rideshare service said it wasn't gonna take. It was supposed to be here at 4:30. I'm like, you thought that from Mesa to my house, which is 16 miles, it's gonna take close to 60 minutes. Well, rideshare said he. And then he picked us up. How long did it take? About 13 minutes. But you're gonna stand on the patio for a while. Let this be a lesson to you. Go to a bar and get a drink. We'll be out in a minute.

[Dale]

Cut the grass.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Help me carry this. What is that? That's your meat. Oh, man.

[Brett Matthias]

How much did you bring still in your freezer?

[John Holmberg]

I gave a lot to Brady. It's been just. Everybody gets some. My buddy Joe came over and do you like elk meat? And he goes, love it. I'm gonna come with me. And then we made another bag that no one man can carry and help Joe to his car. And it's great. I appreciate it, but, my God, I know what he's up to. And he's killed again. How many times you say that about your dad? Oh, God, Dad's killed again.

[Dale]

He's hooked.

[John Holmberg]

He's gonna bring all the evidence over to our house from Texas to here. And along the way, he's throwing out packages like he's Santa Claus. He's got friends in New Mexico. He stops there. He's driving for a reason. He'd fly if it wasn't for that goddamn meat.

[Dale]

He's got that refrigerated.

[John Holmberg]

He's been. Here's the worst part.

[Guest or Announcer]

You need a special permit to bring me.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the. No, here's the weirder part. This is why. This is last year elk. Because his new elk hasn't been rendered yet, so it's not there. So he's making room for all the elk he didn't eat from the last one he killed for the new elk meat to fill its space. So as he's driving, he's like an Amarillo. You want some sausage? What? He's got a truckload of meat like some lunatic.

[Brett Matthias]

So is Paul Horton doing the Dan Dan radar like they use the Santa Claus radar on the way here? Paul, he's over through Albuquerque right now throwing up packages of elk.

[John Holmberg]

The great Paul Horton. Hey, buddy. The other day on the news, he does the weekend morning news now, and the great Paul Horton, they had a girl guest in there, and she does some sort of travel thing, and she's like 11ft tall, and she's standing next to the really short girl, and they're talking, and then they go, let's throw it over to Paul for weather. And he goes, you know, she's been here all day, and she just. What a pleasure that woman has been to have in the studio the whole time. He goes, thanks a lot, buddy. And I'm like, he does. He's doing my impression of him now to women. You don't call women buddy on tv. Thanks a lot, buddy. Oh, Paul. Yeah, He's. He's. He's basically. He's. My dad's lost his mind on that. It's elk every year. He's basically like the Mexicans who hand out tamales.

[Dale]

If you think visit, maybe he'll pull the. The car over on the side of the road and have elk Sticks.

[John Holmberg]

He would, he wouldn't sell them. It's. It's too. It's too much. He's got to get rid of hundreds of pounds of meat. A killing elk. You want half of it? Are you crazy?

[Dale]

Where.

[Guest or Announcer]

You know how much meat a half?

[Dale]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

What are those, like £2,000?

[Guest or Announcer]

So much meat. Not quite that much, but I have.

[John Holmberg]

To go, I'm getting half a cow. That's with Jonathan from Verlo. Yeah, it's like 1300, but I'm quartering it with another friend because when Jonathan said it's a lot, I'm like, how much is it? He goes, it's a lot. And he goes. And I'm like, okay, so we're talking about it and, and this was me buying a mattress. I ended up buying a cow. Like I live, you know.

[Guest or Announcer]

And by the way, you brought some of that in. It's delicious.

[John Holmberg]

It's great. 1305. Yeah. He's got this guy, so he's like, you want to go in on it with me? You get half, I get half. I'm like, I got a friend who'll take the other quarter. We looked at what a quarter of a cow is in your house. It's a full massive butcher's freezer. Yeah, it's a lot of meat. My dad has an elk that's bigger than a cow and it's in the back of his truck and it's on its way.

[Dale]

How many freezers does he have in the cow?

[John Holmberg]

I think five, six, maybe seven. I need another freezer. No, you need less meat. You're missing, you're missing the math on that.

[Guest or Announcer]

You know how long that stuff keeps?

[John Holmberg]

I can eat forever. I got another freezer. I can have more meat. Like you don't need. What are you preparing for? Well, civil war. I'm like, nobody's. Don't get them started about that. The dairy is climbing 9,000 foot peaks to drag a 2,000 pound animal down a hill to skin it and then give me stuff I never asked for.

[Brett Matthias]

Is it good? Is elk meat good?

[Guest or Announcer]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No, it isn't. It's not as good as it's good. But you'd rather have.

[Guest or Announcer]

You'd rather have a steak.

[Brett Matthias]

I don't think I've ever had it.

[John Holmberg]

And you have to, you know, you have to do to elk meat that makes it good. Make it. It's the same thing vegetarians do with their food. They try as hard as they can to make it taste like a steak. So you take an elk steak and they're good.

[Guest or Announcer]

Super tenderize it.

[John Holmberg]

But everybody that's going to email me going, boo.

[Brady]

That's crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Elk is. No, you got to put tons of stuff that you'd put on, like to make it taste more like a steak. And then you got to soak it in stuff. And there's so much preparation to make it not taste like a gamey outdoor animal. And what I like about meat, and I think we all can agree is all the antibiotics and steroids that we pump into our farm animals to make them taste better and be juicier and meatier. It's working. Remember chicken when like now the chicken wings are the size of your forearm. That's a good thing. Yeah. There's my dad with a thing. He kills that nine at 9, 000 foot elevation.

[Brett Matthias]

2, 3, 4, 5 five point.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. It's a massive. That's bigger than that six point.

[Dale]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

But it's huge. I'm gonna get some if you want some.

[Brett Matthias]

Yeah, I'll try some.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's good.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But you've gotta. You've got to work hard to make it good.

[Brett Matthias]

I'm not doing that.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not either. And I don't do that. Megan ain't doing that. I was in the kitchen a few weeks ago. Megan was cutting chicken. What are you doing? And she just threw it away. I can't.

[Guest or Announcer]

This uncooked.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Cuz it has the little weird fatty part. So she tries to carve that all off. The little weird off color. Chicken's just disgusting. I can't do it. She picked it up and threw it out. And I'm like, hey.

[Brady]

Still good.

[John Holmberg]

It's disgusting. I can't handle raw chicken.

[Dale]

It's gross.

[John Holmberg]

Steaks right in front of her. Like this is a game so you don't have to cook.

[Brett Matthias]

Maybe she figured it out.

[John Holmberg]

She figured it out. The only thing you'll cook is stuff I won't eat. So it's easier to cook. Like meat raw. I can't. I can't eat this round chicken and just tosses it. It's ruined. Ruined. As she says, that's ruined. I don't know what you're doing.

[Brett Matthias]

Why don't you buy it in the first place?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[Brett Matthias]

It was raw when she bought it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. So God forbid, Dan shows up with elk meat and says, why don't you get in the kitchen there and start cooking that up. And she opens that up. She thinks all. A lot of women think that the red that comes off of Raw meat is blood, but it's not. It's water. And. Well, it's not even related to the cow, really. It's just. It's. It's moisture.

[Dale]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

There's no blood. Those are. They're not eating the veins. They've. They bled out the cow. There's blood everywhere. That's not blood. But, yeah, my dad coming back with that. And God forbid, open up one of those weird butcher's wrapping packages, and the thing is just covered in that red water, and Megan, throw up on it and throw it out. And then that elk died for no reason. I bet you that elk was standing on that hill looking down, going, is that guy shooting at me?

[Brett Matthias]

Ow.

[John Holmberg]

His friend's like, what? He's like, that old man down there. He ain't climbing up here to get us. Don't worry about it. Good one up there. Six points. That old bastard got me.

[Dale]

God damn it.

[John Holmberg]

He's not coming up here, is he? I'm a. Damn it. It's in my lungs.

[Guest or Announcer]

Well, I'm gonna fall uphill, then run.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm gonna run uphill. I'm gonna kill him, too.

[Brett Matthias]

Complaining about free elk. One of the best tasting meats. I'd kill for that. It totally proves you're not a Jew.

[John Holmberg]

Because it's free. Yeah.

[Brett Matthias]

Cause it's free.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. What if you eat one of those gay elk? They're not as gamey and they have fruitier flavor. It's probably more expensive to eat the homosexual elk. Yeah, it's. It's a nice gesture, don't get me wrong. And elk meat. I'll give you some bread, and you'll probably prep it, and Brady preps his and does it. I like meat to just go on fire and then turn over once and then just start chowing it. The other day I had a steak. I didn't even cook it. I just opened the package and I ate it. I don't care about cooking it at all. I think it's delicious that way. Elk meat, no prep. You just nothing.

[Guest or Announcer]

You've seen him. Non.

[John Holmberg]

I literally took the steak out of the package and just ate it. There's no fire. There was no heat.

[Guest or Announcer]

I don't mind carpaccio.

[John Holmberg]

It's just. Just carnivorous. Nonsense. You're gonna get sick.

[Brady]

53.

[John Holmberg]

53. And. Oh, actually, never been sick from raw meat because it's good. And the one thing about that is you can't let it sit out once it's out of the package. You got to eat it. If you're gonna eat it. I'm fine with it. Liver King. Look at that guy. He's a winner.

[Guest or Announcer]

Rest in peace.

[John Holmberg]

He's alive. Liver King's still alive. No, no. He's just in big trouble for taking steroids. The. I read about that. Because they're like. I always fight back with people, like, get sick from eat. Ben. Not if you eat it right away. If it sits on a plate for like 20 minutes and with other meats. All right, well, you can't. Well, yeah, but if it sits outside at all, then bacteria kind of gets on it. That. And then you're eating that. But if you. Right out of the package start going, you're fine. You're absolutely fine. And it's delicious. But you can't do that without. Because it doesn't have that same. It's tougher. You can't tear through it really with your teeth. Like. You can like a delicious steak. It's good, but it's not something I. You know, there's a reason why there's no, like, elk only section over at AJ's.

[Dale]

If they have summer sausage, ground elk. You could do it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's okay. I'd rather have sausage. Sausage. Like, what are those? Pigs? I'd rather eat that.

[Dale]

Yes.

[Guest or Announcer]

Pigs, sausage.

[John Holmberg]

Totally fine with it.

[Dale]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Elk sausage. A little dry summer sauce. Because the way you're preparing it.

[Dale]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Because I don't have to worry about it with the regular sausage. It's a lot of meat. He's all dressed up. It's great to see you. Come to the car real quick. Was the Uber guy still here? Yeah, we couldn't lift it. Oh, mother. We got the thing with the elk. Don't you.

[Brett Matthias]

Uber guy's got a case of elk steaks in the trunk too.

[John Holmberg]

Uber guy's got half a hundred sticking out of his shirt pocket. Because my dad said, wait here. I don't want you to get into his house and stuff or you're gonna help me out. He's gotta lift this giant half a cow. Last time was maybe about 80 pounds. And he's got this thing in his arms walking up that. I'm like, what did he bring me? That better be Steeler stuff.

[Brady]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

Meat you never asked for. Where do I put it? You got a freezer? No, I got seven. I'll send one over. I'm like, I don't want a freezer either.

[Brett Matthias]

Has he brought. Has he brought you a taxidermied head yet?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, when I got the place in Sholo a while ago, that Became his dream. I can finally give you some of these heads. He's told me about that too.

[Guest or Announcer]

He put them all.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, what are you gonna do with all those heads when you die? Oh, don't you want them? I'm gonna ask you again. And don't ask that back.

[Guest or Announcer]

You know better.

[John Holmberg]

What are you gonna do with all those heads? Well, I suppose I could. I could just donate them to someone. Not me. Right. No one wants those but you.

[Guest or Announcer]

Rocky Mountain Elk foundation.

[John Holmberg]

They'll tell a lot of stories behind them, like in your head. Those stories live only in your head. I have no idea how to tell those stories.

[Guest or Announcer]

Right. So unless you put a plaque on the thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's like the hall of fame. We're like, oh, wow, he's killed that one in 1993. And evidently it's a coos d area to shoot it in the face. Had to hike up 8, 500ft. Nobody cares. So mo money pond's gonna get like a thousand.

[Brady]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

For free. Just get them on them. You guys take them, they're yours.

[Guest or Announcer]

More money's gonna have to start doing estate sales.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest or Announcer]

For members of the show.

[John Holmberg]

He brought over an elkhead to my place in show low. That was just. This one doesn't fit in my house. So it fits because I had a 30 foot ceiling in one room.

[Guest or Announcer]

Oh, right.

[John Holmberg]

And it fit. It was huge. And then I went to his house.

[Guest or Announcer]

Get a scissor lift to get it up there.

[John Holmberg]

Big ladder.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The thing was, it was awkward to hang it, but, you know, it fit in that area of.

[Brady]

Of the world.

[John Holmberg]

But then I go to his house when he was in cave creek and he had. I thought it was on the ground. The horns were touching the ceiling. He had a 10 foot ceilings. The horns were touching the ceiling. And this big giant head of something started at the base of the wall and went from the base of the wall to the top. And I'm like, that looks terrible there. What are you talking about? Like, that looks like a bad. That's just clutter. It's one of the most impressive beasts. I'm like, no, no, it's clutter now. It used to be an impressive beast when it had a body attached to it. Now it's just the severed head sitting where a coffee table should be. You don't understand. Like, no, I do. You don't. That's the problem is that, you know, I understand.

[Guest or Announcer]

You're just not accepting this is bad decorating.

[John Holmberg]

It's taken up an awful lot of unnecessary. Well what am I going to put in the garage? Like, I don't know, not keep it as the other option. I don't have any more of my baseball trophies because it's clutter.

[Brady]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

You're insane. Took me three hours to get to that thing.

[Dale]

My dad was able to.

[Brett Matthias]

Three hours of your day, huh?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Three hours of your day to go dragon.

[Dale]

Scare me out. All right. Over about five or six houses in the neighborhood.

[John Holmberg]

Dad needs to start doing that. Just leaving them as gifts on the porch.

[Dale]

Yeah, there's a couple buddies that. Hey, can I have it for my man cave?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sure.

[Dale]

Think about that, though.

[John Holmberg]

Hundred.

[Guest or Announcer]

He's just littering in the neighborhood.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, fine. Drop them off. Be like a weird Santa Claus.

[Guest or Announcer]

Leave him on the mountain.

[John Holmberg]

No. Or that. Cut a Ted off and leave it for the, like the Indians or whatever. Oh, he's going to keep that skull. I guarantee you. That's going to be in my future. Of course, that new one, he's going.

[Brett Matthias]

To ship it to you.

[John Holmberg]

That thing he killed in Spain, I thought he was in Mordor.

[Guest or Announcer]

Is that the ibex?

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He sent me a picture of something. I'm like, you're not on our planet anymore. What is that? And he goes, it's a Spanish ibex. I didn't know about these either.

[Guest or Announcer]

He doesn't have room for that head in his.

[John Holmberg]

No one does. You have to have an airplane hangar to hang. That's huge. Was the meat good?

[Brady]

We'll find out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we'll find out. No, you'll find out. Don't you bring me Spanish ibex. Well, what am I supposed to do with it? Stop killing stuff. Paintball them. Just Spanish ibex. My dad shot one that ended up in a magazine.

[Guest or Announcer]

These got these giant impeller horns, just huge.

[John Holmberg]

And. And he ended up in some magazine as like one of the year's biggest kills in the world. And he's sitting on a mountain next to this thing. He looks like a tiny boy. And he goes, well, perspective of that's a little off. And I'm like, dad, those horns are six feet maybe. Jesus Christ. What is that thing? Oh, we traveled down to Middle Earth and we. I know you're not on our planet anymore. I haven't even seen that in like a Nat Geo special. This thing was huge.

[Dale]

I had a dwarf hunting guide.

[John Holmberg]

That's Dan. That's the picture you're looking at right now of a guy holding it. My dad's was probably two times as big as.

[Brett Matthias]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

That's fairly normal sized, evidently. What These guys are standing in front of. My dad killed a Spanish ibex and sent a picture and it was like, there he is. Yeah. So that's a dude mountain one. Those are small compared to the one he killed.

[Brett Matthias]

And did he mount the head?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what he's doing out there in Texas.

[Guest or Announcer]

You find out soon enough.

[John Holmberg]

I brought you this. If it's sitting on top of the Uber when he shows up on December 5th, I'll know.

[Brett Matthias]

Just turn out all the lights.

[John Holmberg]

If you. If you take that one picture you're looking at right there and multiply it by two. That's. That's. Oh, my God. My dad just says, and the horns are the size of like, I don't even know what. Just two by fours. They're huge. Figuring that.

[Guest or Announcer]

Yeah, that's a 4x4.

[John Holmberg]

That's like a post. That's a post.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's huge. He's nuts. He told me that when I was about 18 once. You want to go hunting with me? I do not want to go hunting with you. You know what? Maybe I'll just look in the yellow pages for a Rent a Son. I'm like, I don't want to do the things you want to do, and you're angry at me for it. Do you want to go to improv class? What am I, gay? See, we're the same. You like twink stuff, though. I like manly things. Like, see, this is where we're different.

[Guest or Announcer]

Agree to disagree.

[John Holmberg]

No money ever came from improvisation. You'll see, old van.

[Dale]

You'll see.

[John Holmberg]

Excuse me. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there?

[Brett Matthias]

All right. Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And, well, to get some of those extra LBs off, it's time to hit the trails and go over to Action Ride Shop. Pick yourself up a bike. They got everything to get you on the trails. And big deals going on with the new pivots. Santa Cruz Ibis. You name it, they got it. And if you're ready to go up skiing, well, the. The OG store right there on Gilbert Road. And so there's going to take care of you. Get your reservations in now or purchase now actionrideshop.com Angry Samoans. They saved Hitler's cock, apparently. 1 minute and 30 seconds.

[John Holmberg]

He had a rooster. I didn't know that. Yeah, I've heard that before, actually.

[Brett Matthias]

Green jelly tool slaughtered Prevail. Black Sabbath Fairies wear boots for the gay wool. A trey. You ministry type O negative. I don't want to be me for Thanksgiving People. Ted Nugent, White Buffalo for Dan Holmberg.

[John Holmberg]

I like that you wrote Ted Nugget.

[Brett Matthias]

Yeah, well.

[Dale]

Yep.

[Brett Matthias]

I was writing Quick Metallica, Jimmy's Chicken Shack, Avenged Seven Pole, Danko Jones.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know that I've heard White Buffalo in a long time.

[Brett Matthias]

Great white Buffalo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know the song, but it's been a minute, and if my dad had the opportunity to bring buffalo meat, he would. But I think we should do this.

[Guest or Announcer]

Oh, God.

[John Holmberg]

Great way buffalo. All right.

[Brett Matthias]

For Dan.

[John Holmberg]

For Dan. Give one to the old man for Turkey Day. I think that's pretty good.

[Brett Matthias]

You want me to get it?

[Dale]

You got a great white beefalo.

[John Holmberg]

I got a lot. Yeah. It's not even a thing. I got a lot of people asking for my dad's elk meat. I'm not saying he's giving it to all of you. I'm just saying.

[Brett Matthias]

Not about six fridges.

[John Holmberg]

This guy just said, sounds like your dad needs a refrigerator truck. Don't say that to him, because the next thing you know, he'll be calling me from Las Cruces. I am broken down in Las Cruces. In the fridge, all the meat's melting. This is your fault, though. You did this to you. You did this to you. You put the fear of God in me yesterday, Brady, when you told the story about Kirby's ticket. What I. I. Do you want to tell that one? It's pretty solid. Or is it too early? You don't want to tell it because.

[Dale]

You think too early.

[John Holmberg]

Because he's dodging it. Well, you can dodge it. It's legal to dodge it. You think they're going to come after you because you say, I'm going to say it. Then you got a photo, radar ticket. He threw it away like you're supposed to. You're following my advice, and that makes you nervous because you're being a coward. But you fight the man. You fight him the way it's. It's an unlawful way to give people tickets. It's an unlawful way to give people tickets. But it reminded me of my dad finding out that I let a friend of mine drive my car, and he took my car away from me and said if he wants to drive it, then he can drive you places. But not in my car. Like, what? He goes, that thing's not in your name. Like, what are you talking about? He saw me and my friend drive away. My buddy was driving the car, and I got back, and he was calm. Cool and calm. Give me your keys. Like, what do you got? I threw the keys to him. Like, what's going on? You need my car. You don't have a car anymore. What? You do not have a car anymore. I don't? Nope. Like, why? And he goes, because you let your buddy drive it. And if your friend wants to drive, you can drive his car. And if you need a ride, he's the one that can drive you around. Because I saw you guys driving around him and I just sat there like, what in the hell? He goes, you think if he does something stupid, they're going to sue him? And I'm like, oh, I suppose not. And he goes. And then he. He gets killed. His family's not going to sue me too. What were you thinking? I'm like, I don't know. My dad thought of everything. Lawsuits.

[Brett Matthias]

That was Kurt Vesley. He would be killed. Like, if he was screaming, I'd be okay, but he was just so pissed. He'd be so calm.

[John Holmberg]

Just like, oh, the calm takeaway.

[Brett Matthias]

It's the worst.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't have a car for two weeks. I thought he was. I thought it was forever. I was not allowed to drive anymore. And he liked Mark. But Mark's gonna drive. He's got a car. He can drive you around. You can be his passenger in his car. Like, oh, but you're not doing it in mine. Like, okay. And I. I thought I was gonna die, just from the. Look, I've been thinking about Dan since yesterday. He might. And I thought maybe he'd come out here and still get me in trouble for that kind of stuff. I still worry that he's going to take my keys. I do. I still feel like. Give me that. Give me the keys.

[Brady]

What?

[John Holmberg]

You don't know what you're doing. That's enough. What you park that outside for, huh? You parked the goddamn car outside.

[Brady]

It's brand new.

[John Holmberg]

Put it in the garage. Like, I forgot. Give me the keys. You don't have a car anymore. Horrible. All right, Ted Nugent for the Old Man.

[Brady]

Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

He said, fully erect. Still streaming, Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] There he goes. Thank you, Smashing Pumpkins right there. As we cruise through this incredibly half assed day, Brady pointed out this morning, I took surface street, so it's never busy. But the freeways were lighter and everybody's prepping and planning your work. If you work in an office, nobody's showing up today. If they're there, it's jeans and sweatshirts. It's. It's like when Your wife quits, like, quiet quits your relationship, and she's just in a T shirt and shorts that you wouldn't touch if they were on the floor.

[Brett Matthias]

What's the over under on sales people showing up?

[John Holmberg]

Four. Four?

[Brady]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And what's the over under that any of them stay for longer than two hours?

[Brett Matthias]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Zero. And I wouldn't if I was them either. True. What are we doing here? We have to. We have to Entertain America, Brad. Entertain America. Oh, could you guys do me a favor? By the way, listeners, if you listen on the podcast, could you do it within 24 hours? It doesn't count after 24 hours.

[Dale]

This is how.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this is how dumb our goddamn bosses are. I put a stop to this about two years ago. I said, okay, if it doesn't count for ratings after 24 hours, then it only lasts 24 hours. And we don't keep them up all the time. You guys all remember? And there was a lot of people. What happened to him? I'm like, this is not a thread that needs to be followed. You guys can miss a day. If you miss a day, you just miss a day. Right? So until they get that fixed, I'm like. And so now they're having this big research project to figure out how come over the last four years, there's been a difference in the numbers on the air rather than on the podcast. Like I said, are we losing to our own podcast? I'm like, no, you morons made it. So some people listen and it doesn't count. So if you could do me a favor, if you're gonna listen to the podcast, do it within 24 hours of the show airing or else it doesn't count. And then they start coming down on me for things.

[Guest or Announcer]

Most of you do that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Almost like the ones who aren't. Could you just step it up?

[Guest or Announcer]

Good chunk that aren't.

[John Holmberg]

Could you just step it up? Because it's just the most ridiculous stupidity ever.

[Dale]

It is wild when you hear someone I'm listening to last week.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there was a. There was somebody. One person said something in a research thing for some other station that got back to us that basically said this show was no longer, like, the most important thing in Phoenix radio to the. Like, I don't know what. I don't know what the research said. It was like some weird red flag. So they started this whole thing going, oh, my God, what do we do? And I'm like, well, you make it so it counts. For the longest time, the podcast got no ratings. Our ratings fell. Nobody could figure it out because we were giving it away for free on the side of the road.

[Brady]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

Why were we making them jump to. They're idiots. So it just doesn't give it away for free.

[Guest or Announcer]

We weren't asking for people who were getting it for free.

[John Holmberg]

Right. It always. And it goes back to the headphones thing. We're making our own hurdles and then questioning how come we're seeing a little different thing here and there. It's like, no, we're fine. Everything's fine. Yeah, But, I mean, two years ago, you were like an 18 share. Now you're like a 13 or a 12 or an 8. I'm like, yeah, but the podcast numbers are going up, but those don't count towards ratings. So I'm like, well, that's your fault.

[Guest or Announcer]

Yeah, it's all their fault.

[John Holmberg]

They've demonized radio for. They're so dumb. They're so dumb. Anyway, I just want to throw that. Also telling dad stories. I got an email from a guy named Harley Hornecker.

[Dale]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

And he says, I've been in the dead dad club since I was 16. And now everyone else on the show, Toledo, your grandfathered in, and here you are rubbing it in. My dad this, my dad that. My dad's alive. He's coming out on. Nice job, you effing show off. Welcome to the club, Brett. It's all in good fun. Well, there you go. Thank you. That's true.

[Guest or Announcer]

He didn't welcome Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, he did, Probably a couple years ago. Toledo's dad's still alive. He just doesn't love him. Yeah, that's not my fault.

[Dale]

Dead to me.

[John Holmberg]

Well, nobody's not, though. You can say that all you want. He still doesn't love you, and he's still very much alive.

[Guest or Announcer]

Yeah, it's okay.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have any dad stories because he chooses not to. This one says sir. I noticed you talk a lot about your blind listener, Sean. Yeah, Sean Rockefeller. So is there any chance you have any other deaf listeners? I think that phrase right there says the answer to the question. If so, maybe I can qualify for that. Technical term for me is hard of hearing, but most people don't know what that means, so I just tell people I'm deaf because it makes everything easier either way. I listen to your podcast on full blast in my earphones. Doesn't count for ratings, so I can barely hear you, but from what I'm gathering, you're amazing. Keep it up, Joshua. Well, unfortunately, Brady's already taken our Slot of deaf listener. But you are right there, Joshua. Thank you very much. Let me say. Joshua. Joshua, I can hear. You know what? Joshua's headphones probably count for ratings because it's so loud that it actually penetrates through the air to where other people can hear. Doesn't make any sense, man. So you have to do this. Like, it's a rule for FCC violations that you can't let your podcast count longer than 24 hours. Let's just not do it.

[Brett Matthias]

We can't do that.

[John Holmberg]

Then just cancel it after 24 hours. There are no shows after 24. No, we can't do that. All right, well, then don't bitch to me. When the ratings have weird numbers in them and you can't figure out, yeah, I know, that's the bigger things that they're trying to sell. Then they turn to me.

[Guest or Announcer]

Took you five years too long to get into that.

[John Holmberg]

But they turn to me and start saying stuff about ratings this. Ratings that. We're looking at this, and we're seeing a number here. I'm like, that's your fault. They won't hear that.

[Guest or Announcer]

Turn to me. What can you do with 25 years of audio for the show?

[John Holmberg]

They want to give it all away.

[Guest or Announcer]

Ben's posting.

[John Holmberg]

It's burned it. We burned it.

[Brady]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry. You're not getting any of that.

[Guest or Announcer]

No, they're not.

[Dale]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, it's now time for us to get right to the Brady Report. Sorry, there's a little house cleaning there with a little crap I had to sit through yesterday. A terrible aside. Stupid aside. It's time for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at all pro shade allprochade.com imagine you got your Thanksgiving family coming over. Everybody's there. After a nice 2pm dinner for no reason at all. We do that. Just get them out of the house. Then you go out on that patio, sun starts to set, and everybody's blinded because you've got that western exposure and it's just cooking your family. And they're from the Midwest, so 60 degrees is like being on fire to them. They won't understand it. Now can we swim now?

[Brett Matthias]

Come back.

[John Holmberg]

Some of them are my neighbors. My neighbors are swimming, and I don't think they have a heated pool like some people from Indiana showed up.

[Brady]

Troy.

[Dale]

Michael.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. Oh, good Lord, no. I was gonna say, good Lord, no. It's shrinking. It's 71 degrees outside. They have frozen parties in their backyard. Like, they all dress up like Elsa and run around, but the Other neighbors are across the street splashing away. And I drove by in the house. The cars in front of their house have Indiana plates. And I'm like, those people think it's swimming weather. God forbid. They're sitting on a patio with that sun cooking them at 2 degrees. They'll burst into flames. Now reimagine that with an all pro shades. You know, the motorized shade going out and over them and shading those incredibly pasty white people that you have in town this week. Be a beautiful thing. And you got a little heater out there. If you put a motorized shade on right now, they'll give you a heater as well. It's perfect.

[Dale]

By the way, my shade.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Goes out also has lighting underneath.

[John Holmberg]

You put lights on it. That's awesome.

[Dale]

The bars, the extension, very cool.

[John Holmberg]

Glorious. They'll design something beautiful for you. It's. Yeah. And you should be. Hey, by the way, you Toledo. That's a nice thing. Allproche.com. that's where you can be like Brady and unlike Toledo and have nice things. Brady. Report it.

[Dale]

Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world. Happy International Cake Day and National Jukebox Day.

[Guest or Announcer]

Are those the thing anymore? Does Matthia have one at the bar?

[Brett Matthias]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Matthias]

That's all those touch tunes jukebox. So you just do it on your phone?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're awesome, them.

[Guest or Announcer]

Oh, you don't.

[John Holmberg]

It's all. You can.

[Brett Matthias]

But nobody does.

[John Holmberg]

You can do it from here, right?

[Brett Matthias]

Yeah, yeah. I can play a song right there at the bar.

[John Holmberg]

At her bar from here. Yeah. And you can. You pay a little extra. You can skip all the other songs and be next in line.

[Brett Matthias]

Oh, I've done it before. I'll piss her off and I'll play a song. And she's like, you son of a. Because there's certain songs that piss her off.

[Dale]

Suicidal.

[John Holmberg]

My dead friend Mike Rembrandt Christmas used to. That's pretty good. My dead friend Rembrax used to always invite me to a bar and I'd go and he would do that and he would get Cue Lazarus, goodbye horses from Silence of the Lambs as I walked in the door. And every time I'd take like four steps in and recognize it was playing. And it's. It was a great move. He's dead now, but not because of that.

[Guest or Announcer]

He's dead now.

[Dale]

A couple of basis fun facts. An adult wild Turkey has approximately 5,000 to 6,000 feathers.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Dale]

The FDA allows any product with less than five calories to be labeled calorie Free. And manufacturers are allowed to round down and put zero calories on their nutrition label.

[John Holmberg]

You can round down.

[Guest or Announcer]

There's a reason why we learned it in math. Right.

[Dale]

The Las Vegas Strip, technically, isn't in the city of Las Vegas. Three unincorporated areas of Clark County, Nevada, called Paradise, Winchester and Enterprise.

[Guest or Announcer]

Didn't know about Winchester and Enterprise.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's up north. Paradise is the southern end of the strip, the main strip. And then I think you get up north and you get into Old Town.

[Guest or Announcer]

Is the other one the cruddy part?

[John Holmberg]

The, you know, El Cortez and Frontier and all?

[Brett Matthias]

Fremont. Is that technically Vegas?

[John Holmberg]

That's Enterprise. I don't know for sure.

[Dale]

Sure. Christopher Columbus thought manatees were mermaids on his first journey to the Americas, and he wrote in his journal in 1493, he saw three mermaids. But they weren't so beautiful as I was told they were.

[John Holmberg]

They're fat and blue.

[Brett Matthias]

Yeah, they don't look like Daryl Hannah.

[John Holmberg]

They're kind of grayish blue and fat.

[Dale]

These mermaids had whiskers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and if we'd invented propellers, they'd keep running into them. They're idiots.

[Brady]

I have a layer of blubber to keep me warm.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like these things. Well, of course, he was an Italian guy back in the day.

[Brett Matthias]

He'd been okay with the hair.

[John Holmberg]

He did not.

[Dale]

The blonde.

[John Holmberg]

He might have punched one of those. Yeah, it was a side piece. Nobody's gonna believe it if I hit this. You guys aren't telling her, right? Yeah. You know, my wife and these. If this thing comes knocking on my door and says that Chris. Nailed it. They'd be like, look at this bitch. You think I'd ever. She's a sea cow.

[Brett Matthias]

Chrissy, what are you doing over there?

[John Holmberg]

Now, you know how manatees got the name sea cow? The Italian. So the mermaids are pigs. They're, like, big, fat. They're bigger than pigs. Even a sea cows.

[Dale]

You don't want a mermaid.

[John Holmberg]

Yikes. Hey. Bagged one of those things last night. They don't grow legs on land, let me tell you that. They just moan the whole time.

[Dale]

President Trump pardoned two turkeys yesterday named Waddle in Gobble. Evidently, one of them laughed right when he. Or he gobbled right when he mentioned his name.

[John Holmberg]

Perfect timing, huh?

[Dale]

Hey, the two strangers in Arizona. This started 10 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Dale]

Lady misfired a text, and it went to this guy. Wanda Dench is her name. She thought she was texting her grandson in 2016, and it was this random guy, Jamal Hinton, he was 17 at the time, going to Desert Vista High School.

[John Holmberg]

He just showed up.

[Dale]

Yep. And so they'll do it again. This will be year number 10.

[John Holmberg]

He's like 30 now, right? 26, 27.

[Dale]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And he keeps showing up at this old lady's house. Eventually they're gonna do it.

[Brett Matthias]

Oh, they haven't already.

[John Holmberg]

That's probably true. Brett.

[Brady]

10 years.

[John Holmberg]

10 years. He's. You know, I've never had diverse relations.

[Brady]

You don't say.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't you pass me that big ass turkey leg with your mouth?

[Dale]

Black Friday is also known as.

[John Holmberg]

That's what she's gonna call it.

[Dale]

Brown Friday. One of the busiest years of busiest days of the year for plumbers.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that. Yeah.

[Dale]

Thanksgiving.

[John Holmberg]

That in the super bowl is another one.

[Dale]

Yeah. According to another Thanksgiving survey, 52% of Americans will have at least one recipe on their Thanksgiving table that is 25 years old or older.

[John Holmberg]

Aren't all half meals old recipes? Like steak fire is a recipe. Technically, yeah.

[Dale]

But if it's a family recipe, that's like 25 years older. That's. That surprised me.

[Guest or Announcer]

So if I made a recipe last year doesn't count?

[Dale]

Nope.

[Brady]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

If there's. Yeah.

[Brett Matthias]

But again, if it's a family recipe, like you're stuffing or something like that.

[John Holmberg]

I think what's the difference?

[Guest or Announcer]

Like your mom's gravy is a family recipe.

[Brett Matthias]

Kinda. But there's no written recipe. Yeah, it's no written recipe.

[Guest or Announcer]

It's the basics.

[Dale]

I talked to my mom yesterday and she was a little like upset. Not really upset, but I can't believe it. Because my brother in law makes the turkey turkey every year. But like your sister has never made a turkey. Should know how.

[John Holmberg]

She's old school. That's a broad job.

[Brady]

I know.

[Dale]

Yeah, I never thought about that. I go, it's really not that hard. But if, if someone is mom mad.

[Guest or Announcer]

Because Amy never learned from her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. She didn't turn into a good woman, is what your mother's saying.

[Dale]

Ouch. Lazy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's lazy. It's lazy womanly womanness.

[Dale]

Someone pulled over a thousand adults across the US and asked which age range they think they look back on as the best years of their life.

[John Holmberg]

Best years of my life. Last 10 years I met that lady at her house for some dark meat.

[Dale]

They broke it down by decade 0 to 9, 10 to 19, 20s, 30s, 40s. Your 20s was number one with 22%.

[John Holmberg]

Of the best time of your life. How in the world. You were probably poor.

[Dale]

Your 30s were 20%, just 2% lower 40s, 12%, 50s, 9%. Your tweens and teens got 8%.

[Brady]

Huh?

[Dale]

But 50s, 60s, and 70s, 12%.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because it's like you should have established something by then. If you're looking back at your 20s as the best time in your life, it's because you don't like responsibility. That's the only reason you liked your 20s, is because you really didn't have anything to lose and you didn't have to be responsible yet. And you probably just started with bills, and those were questionable to begin with. When your 30s. Your 30s are when you're like, oh, I have to start adulting. And then in your 40s, your 40s should be pretty good. That would probably be late 30s. 40s would probably be my pick. Like, it was a pretty smooth time. I got everything kind of figured out. I seem like I'm going fast.

[Dale]

One Direction, 5% said the first decade on Earth was the best.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because you don't remember four years of it. And again, those are the people that hate having to be responsible. Because the only reason I hearken back to the good old days of my 20s is because if I got fired, I didn't care if I, you know, everything. You could lose anything. Yeah, I'll get another one.

[Brett Matthias]

Especially when you're in high school and stuff. It's like, I don't gotta pay a damn thing. You know, the bills are already paid.

[John Holmberg]

I think back of three in high school.

[Dale]

You don't even.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Factoring stuff like that, you're just like.

[John Holmberg]

The only thing you are is just overly emotional about everything. It was a rotten time. When you think back on it about what an incomplete knob you were, and the people who think they weren't are just lying to themselves. There isn't a teenager out there who's, you know, golly gosh darn it, I got her all figured out here. You're an emotional weirdo who took wild swings at things you shouldn't. You skirted death 100 times a day and didn't even realize it.

[Dale]

In Cape Coral, Florida.

[John Holmberg]

Think about this. Toledo's son. What is he, 21, 22 now?

[Guest or Announcer]

Almost 20 in February.

[John Holmberg]

Almost 20 is all. Think if he just spent his most quality years on the earth the last six or seven years. Think of 11 through 19, as good as it got.

[Guest or Announcer]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Right. You better hope he likes his 40s some more. Because if you think he wasn't any different than all of us either, by the way. So from 11 to 20, if that kid's like, man, that was the best time I ever had on the planet. He's a complete moron from 11 to 20 like the rest of us.

[Dale]

I think he probably thought it was, but until he moved back in. This is now start of a new 10.

[John Holmberg]

I'm talking about when you ask him when he's 40, what the best decade of his life is, if he still thinks that he has failed the last 25 years. I always look at people who get excited about high school reunions because it's, I gotta get back there. Because that's when I meant something you're.

[Dale]

Or you're trying impression classmates.

[John Holmberg]

What I always call it is peaked in high school again.

[Guest or Announcer]

The Joneses.

[John Holmberg]

When you peak. When you peaked in high school and so many girls did, and then they turned 25, a lot of them, and then they want to go back and be like that important thing again. Peaked in high school is a very bad thing. Somebody who looks at high school as the best time of their life has failed. You've got. That's like you've got 60 years left. If you already maxed out in your teens. Oh, give yourself an opportunity to be.

[Guest or Announcer]

Better, get some friends and do something.

[John Holmberg]

I hate that they even offer those years as the best time in your life because it's just sad and pathetic to think of it as being the best.

[Dale]

We got a doordash driver that got pops for DUI in Cape Coral, Florida. Luis Estrella. He was delivering a dinner. It didn't make it. Passed out at the traffic light. Police pulled up next to the car. There he is, asleep at the wheel. The cops gave him a dui, but they also delivered the dinner. The cops did.

[John Holmberg]

That's nice.

[Guest or Announcer]

Would you answer the door if UberEats in a uniform showed up?

[Dale]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I would open the window and go. I said drop it. Yeah, that's your line, cop, but I said drop it. You don't need to talk to me. You just want to go viral with your camera and I'm not interested. And also, I don't want the food that was in the hands of a guy now going to jail. Yeah, I noticed the town drunk was going to deliver my sausages. Like, you can keep it. I'll get another order later. I bought. I bought a cop dinner tonight.

[Guest or Announcer]

Your pot belly dinner for tomorrow is.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a second. Why is there a cop here? Oh, we had to arrest the drunk that was going to bring it to you. All right, that's yours.

[Dale]

This Chinese tech firm, Aggiebot, just earned a war against world Record when its humanoid robot A2.

[John Holmberg]

I saw this yesterday.

[Dale]

Went for a 66 mile walk from the Jiang Zoo province to Shanghai.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty reasonable rate of speed too. It held up like you'd figure after a while the robot would have like some hiccups. Made it. It did a pretty good job. I watched it on the news last night.

[Guest or Announcer]

Jogging or just.

[John Holmberg]

That's a brisk pace. It wasn't crazy, but it was walking 24 hours. Yeah. For a robot. I'm not saying it was people size speech, but I'm like, I. It didn't look that clumsy. 61 miles.

[Dale]

66.

[John Holmberg]

That pretty good. That's almost three miles an hour. Which is about, as we learned from Tommy Lee Jones, the average foot speed of a human male. Thank you. The fugitive. That's not bad.

[Dale]

Got a couple of radio videos.

[John Holmberg]

Like a marathon would take you about seven hours to walk. Right. But six or seven hours to walk it.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So you're doing essentially almost three of them. Right. A little less than. So if you're six, seven hours on that, that's about the same as a person. If robots start moving around with the agility and the speed that we move around consistently. Look out.

[Dale]

Guys. Trimming up his coconut tree. His buddy's gonna get him for him.

[John Holmberg]

He's standing on a wall. All right, here we go. Play by play. Oh, the coconuts all fell off the tree and smashed the dude down on the ground. And then all of them fell off at once. And coconuts aren't light. And he's out like a. He's out. Is that a hole in oats? What am I looking at? What's with the air? I think that's Daryl hall that just got hit by all those coconuts. And he's now right, because coconut's hitting you. Yeah. That's a lot of nuts in your face. Said Michael and Troy. My neighbors. My neighbors. Thrilled with a Friday that ends with 20 nuts in your mouth. But not like that. All right, go ahead, Brady.

[Dale]

Next one's a little outside of a. It's a mall fight, basically.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're outside.

[Guest or Announcer]

It's good, it's good.

[John Holmberg]

The guy with his shirt off, he takes a swing. He's got a Hitler mustache and he's filming while he's punching with his left hand. Oh, and another guy just cold cocks him while he Instagrams his one punch. A little dude. He punched the little dude first. And then the little dude watches him go on his Instagram and start to talk about it. And he turns his lights out. You Know what's good about that is the tall guy didn't see the little fella coming because nothing comes at you from his angle, because he's 5:1. But just a reminder, then, they teach you this at Tactical Black all the time. Don't judge that book by its cover, because you'd have walked right past that guy thinking you'd knock it. He knocks him out.

[Guest or Announcer]

The comment he dropped like Woody. When Andy walked in the room, he.

[John Holmberg]

Did eight pounds of pressure to an open jaw will knock you out. Anybody can do it. A woman, a child.

[Dale]

Coconut.

[John Holmberg]

They connect properly. If you're not paying attention, you're going to sleep.

[Dale]

This last one's for you, John. Some eye drops. How to apply them with green.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he bubbles out his eye. How come I never see white people able to do this? Why is this always a black guy? What is the gift that they've been given to be able to do that to their eyeballs? Make it stop.

[Dale]

Amazing.

[Guest or Announcer]

Amazing.

[John Holmberg]

When I was a little kid, they put that on tv. That lady used to do a tour, and she. She was on commercials, and she'd do. Oh, yeah, she was on talk shows and like, all right, show them what you can do. And she bloop. And her eyes would bubble out and start throwing up at home. She was on Mike Douglas. She was on Carson. She was like the lady who could do it.

[Guest or Announcer]

Wow. I don't remember that.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like eyeball stuff. All right, Brett, give us some Thanksgiving love here.

[Brett Matthias]

All right.

[Dale]

Any turkey theme?

[John Holmberg]

No, that's coming after.

[Brett Matthias]

I got one that's a little extreme that I'm probably not going to show.

[John Holmberg]

What? Oh, it's death. Yeah, we don't want to see that.

[Brett Matthias]

We'll just start off with the little.

[John Holmberg]

Hillbilly car wash. All right. Guy in a pair of. Oh, it's a woman. She's in a pair of, like, boxer shorts are a little too small and a shirt. She's taking off her shorts. She could stand to lose 15 pounds. She's okay. She's got her shorts off now. She stand on the back of a pickup truck. What is she. Oh, she's squatting over the camera and peeing on the. Oh, my gosh. Peeing on the windshield of a class. Here. She's peeing down onto a windshield of a car, and the guy inside's filming it from the. You know, it's kind of a Vince Gilligan breaking angle of bottoms up there. Got a lot of pee. And the guy inside is rustling around like he's. Is he beating off. While this is going on, the cameraman's moving around kind of awkwardly. That's it, huh?

[Dale]

Cut.

[Brett Matthias]

I think he's just.

[John Holmberg]

That's it, Brett. Some chubby girl peeing on my window.

[Brett Matthias]

All right, how about.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're setting me up.

[Dale]

Building it up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Here's another person. Oh, this is a can of Raid in someone's ass. A whole can of Raid is going in and out of some gimp masked butt. And this lady is spread eagle with the ropes around her thighs. Tunnel kills the toughest buns. If you need Raid for your girlfriend's vagina, maybe you should reconsider.

[Brett Matthias]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

That should be in her. Her profile on the dating app.

[Brett Matthias]

We'll just end with this little.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brett Matthias]

Thanksgiving breakfast.

[John Holmberg]

A Raid can all. Oh, she's got the speculum in there. And there's Froot Loops in this girl's butt. Those could be Fruity O and another girl. Yeah, they could be the generic ones. Another girl feeding the milk and Fruit Loops out. Oh, Jesus. And we've done a jump cut into sex with the Fruit loop hole.

[Dale]

That's a uti.

[John Holmberg]

And then he pulls out and Fruit Loops come flying out of there. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Enjoy your meal, everyone. That's what we got. Can I see that again? Is there no sound with that? How unfortunate. Oh, my God. So it's a lady laying there, and she's got her one of those tools that opens your butt to like, a bowl size. And she's laughing, and when she laughs, the milk bubbles. And now another girl with her shirt off is feeding her friend the Fruit Loops out of the butt. And then we go right to sex, and there's Froot Loops everywhere. They come shooting out of there like a Fruit Loops fountain. Loads of milk. Still, he didn't finish that bowl.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's definitely gonna need a doctor because there's some mashed up Froot Loops in there that should have been gay. The metaphoric nature of Froot Loops up your ass should have been homosexuals. Anyway. Neat. Thanks, America and world for the Internet and all it gives us. It's 8:15. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady Report. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erected. Still streaming. Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail]. There's a banger right there. That's Nine Inch Nails. I like that. And it's much better than the movie it comes from, evidently. Which has done no business whatsoever. But that Is a that bad, huh? Well, I think they were expecting it to be an explosively great thing, and it wasn't. It looks neat, at least the thing. But I don't understand why Tron's a movie. The first one wasn't. I'm gonna piss Tron fans. The first one wasn't good. It just wasn't a good movie. It looked really cool, especially for 1983.

[Dale]

Yeah. When it came out in 83, you.

[John Holmberg]

Look at it, holy Christ. How cool is this movie? Look. But then you watch it, and you're like, oh. And that was the first time they made a movie out of a video game. And you realize that that is. There's been, like, two that are okay. Lara Croft, maybe. The Tomb Raider movies are good. Even the Donkey Kong ones where you had the wacky, stereotypical Italians. Not good. Like, you can't.

[Dale]

Ready? Player one. Pretty solid.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that wasn't about a video game, though. It was about video games. Yeah, those characters that would. But it wasn't about, like, oh, we are now in Tron. There's not many.

[Brett Matthias]

I think the video game was actually better than the movie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Tron.

[Brett Matthias]

Yeah. It's not even close with the light cycles and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

So cool. And then. So we wanted to put a story around it, and they're like, there's nothing going on here. Here. So I don't. I don't know why people actually expected that to go, well. Brett, you're at the bar a lot. Th's got a bar. I saw this the other day. I like this. I want to start an app. I think I want to start a new app. Go to you on this one. There's a bar, and I think it's in New Hampshire or something, where they're banning people who drink alone. And the bartender made a lot of good points. I thought it was just being a dick. He goes, look, first of all, usually when you drink alone, something's wrong. So you're more apt to be, like, a loudmouth. Second, and you drink alone, the liabilities for the bar go through the roof. You got nobody to take care of you if something happens. If you leave, if I kick you out and you get mad and you drive, the bar's responsible. I don't know where you've been before. I don't know if you showed up drunk. Like, you don't have anybody in your corner going, hey, it's time to go. So he does. He's like, I just don't want that responsibility. I'm like, that makes Some sense that, like, that's kind of a reasonable thought out.

[Dale]

It's tough on neighborhood bars.

[Brett Matthias]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lot of regular dudes that come in by themselves, but those regulars have become regulars who now have buddied up. That's why I want to start the app, Drinking Buddy. You drink alone, I drink alone. We hook up on Drinking Buddy and say, hey, I'm thinking about going to Local Legends. All right, I'll meet you there. I'm gonna sit. We'll go in together, and then we'll just sit by ourselves, or we'll sit near each other and. But Drinking Buddy, that way you can go to bars by yourself and not look like some sort of weirdo and still. Still be alone.

[Brett Matthias]

But then you got to have all your, I like this, I like this. I don't like.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Matthias]

Well, then the problem is you're going to run into some politics, too. Like, all right, Lefty, I didn't agree to this.

[John Holmberg]

But that's the reason Drinking Buddy exists. It would have to be put out there to say, look, it's for people who don't want to talk to you. You just. It's just our admission. It's like the carpool lane. I wanted to start an app a long time ago and go carpool with me. Then you start getting into conversations. Drinking Buddies, like, we're just going in together and sitting near each other, just like we would if we were drinking alone. This doesn't mean we can talk. And maybe you stir up or start up a friendship.

[Dale]

But isn't the main reason you're doing this is because the person that comes in alone isn't leaving alone drunk and getting behind the wheel? Is that the main.

[John Holmberg]

One of the reasons is that he just. He kind of. He was kind of basically saying, look, they're harder to deal with when things go bad. Sometimes if you let people in on their own, the reason why they're on their own is they got no one to talk to, so they smother other people. He goes, that's a problem. There's a lot of that. And he said, and then, you know, you kind of have people getting like, hey, buddy, you're not with us kind of vibe. And it's, It's a. It's. It's a little catalyst for a problem alone drinking. And he's like, So I just decided. This guy said, that's it. I'll just, you know, if you're there, you're by yourself, you're out after 9 o'. Clock. Once the bar starts becoming like a social scene, and you got some dude sitting. I like it. And Drinking Buddy is a good app.

[Dale]

You got to think about.

[Brett Matthias]

You gotta also think about, like, if you're there with your buddies, you're gonna drink more.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, come on. Another shot.

[Brett Matthias]

Let's do so there is that aspect of it, too.

[John Holmberg]

Sitting at a bar stool, nursing a beer forever compared to shots, man. Let's go, bro. It's great. All right, I'm buying your next one. He says it's for the safety of all of his guests. And people are saying, oh, you're narrow minded sometimes. But shouldn't we discourage people drinking alone? Is drinking alone ever really? It's frowned upon for a reason. Usually it's not a good thing. Like, that's a sign of alcoholism.

[Dale]

Yeah, there's a little bit of a.

[John Holmberg]

Reason when you drink alone at home, like, and I mean drink like, I'm going up for a third one. Something's wrong. Right? Nobody's, like, had a great day alone and goes home and guzzles alcohol by themselves. There's something usually get plowed.

[Brett Matthias]

I mean, like, I. When I was doing overnight, so I'd come home and it was. It was happy hour at my house. I'm having cocktails in the morning alone.

[John Holmberg]

And you had a problem. We talked to you about it.

[Brett Matthias]

Well, I was doing overnights, for Christ's sake. Of course I did.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying. You're not happy. Your life's not going the way you want, so you're drinking. But it wasn't just overnight. Yeah. You had that divorce. Yeah. You had that wife. You didn't want to go home to her.

[Brett Matthias]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You had that. Yeah. You're doing overnights. Yeah. Brett, we need to have an intervention about your past.

[Brett Matthias]

I bought handles.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. So, yeah, you're making my point. You weren't exactly in the greatest mental state to be, like, alone drinking. Right.

[Brett Matthias]

But it felt good.

[John Holmberg]

Now think of it. If you're owning a bar and Matthias in on this, like, she's got some guy who drinks alone, and she's been serving him and talking to him, and he goes home and offs himself, and the family's like, who served him. And it can happen with a regular group, but it's less likely to happen if a guy's drinking alone. He's at least got buddies. I like this rule.

[Dale]

Rule.

[John Holmberg]

I like it a lot because it makes my app more possible. Drinking Buddy's a real thing.

[Dale]

It'd be an inconvenience for people but you could have an app where no matter where you're at, your. Your. Your phone detects it. Oh, you can't drive. You're too impaired.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's. That's.

[Brett Matthias]

That's just the boldness.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's just the goddamn government getting in my life, Brady. And I don't like where you're going with this. I don't need big brother telling me when I can drive and when I can't. I'm good at it.

[Dale]

All these people.

[John Holmberg]

I'm a goddamn good one at it. It. I can get it. I can get you from A to B. I'm not on heroin, for Christ's sake. I'm a man. Yeah, I like that thing. Drinking buddy's a good idea. John, isn't your app called Grindr already? Yeah, there's that aspect of it, too, that it could turn into a gay thing pretty fast, pop up all over, suddenly you got a guy who's solo. It's also called hey, I'm the rapist. Like, I'm the rapist is another thing. Because it's like, oh, guy alone. A victim. Like, I'll go meet up with him. Yeah, it's.

[Brett Matthias]

Or you can change it up to gulp instead of hey.

[John Holmberg]

And you know what? This goes. Jesus Christ, here we go. You commie socialist homo F. Words. This is America.

[Brett Matthias]

Knew it.

[John Holmberg]

I want to drink alone. See, you're the type of guy we're talking about. How dare you almost even bring this up? All right, this is a guy who drinks alone, and he's mad about it. But here's who's the bar is talking.

[Brett Matthias]

But then the flip side, Leave it to the magtard to make a drink game political.

[John Holmberg]

How did I even bring politics into this? So I'm also a liberal commie magtar. Damn it. It happened again.

[Brett Matthias]

Another one.

[John Holmberg]

How am I both? How am I all of these things to people? A communist magtard I've been called. Say again?

[Brett Matthias]

This guy just said you can change the name to Juneaus with a K.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, yes, there's that. Also, I just saw this this morning, and I wanted to wait and bring this up. I have said this a million times. Happy Thanksgiving, by the way, to everybody. And I'm going to say that because you should give thanks that you are on planet Earth in 2025, having the greatest run humanity's ever had. Oh, we can, bitch, sure. And we do. But look around you and tell me this isn't the greatest time to be a human being. At least here for the most part. Foods in abundance. Do we abuse that? Yes, but it's available. We waste a lot. We can fix some things, but it's there. You can order anything you want and have it delivered to your home at any time. We have cars, we have planes, we have driverless cars. The technology's through the roof. What we complain about is usually fairly easy. Brett and I were talking about this, looking at the news the other night, watching those turkey drives, and I love that they have them. Learner and Row has a great one. There's a lot of people do a lot of nice things. A dude pulled up in a brand new Trailhawk Jeep Cherokee and grabbed one of the free turkeys. And I'm sitting there thinking, that car, because I just looked at cars is about $108,000. Go buy a goddamn turkey. Yeah, okay. No, you're. You have to have a cruddy car to go through the line.

[Brett Matthias]

Borrow one or a hooptie or what.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you've got 108 grand for a Trailhawk, go buy a three thousand dollar beater if you're gonna scam the system for a free turkey.

[Dale]

And two weeks ago I had heard there were, you know, 8,000 turkeys light. Right now it's down to look, Trailhawk.

[Brett Matthias]

Over there is taking his Trailhawks for.

[John Holmberg]

Spinning through because he's got extra visitors in his 10,000 square foot house. And I know Lerner and Row and I've talked to Kevin about it. It's like, look, you can't go through the line and say you're qualified. You're not. People who are going through the line are, you're not going to question it. But if I see a Trailhawk, you can just keep it moving. You can't show up in $108,000 car and do that. But we have that. I looked at a lady complaining online the other day and she was on the news and she has a brand new iPhone, the Kevin Hart one. It's orange, it's brand new.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Something like, you can cut back on some stuff. Most of the things we complain about are inconveniences rather than true complaints. I say this because it will be in our lifetime, possibly in this decade, that what I saw this morning will be a reality to us. Like the driverless car, like electric cars and all the technology we've seen that we take for granted. Picture, you know, FaceTime. That was a thing none of us thought was like, that was Dick Tracy crap. And here it is and we don't even bat an eye. The Chinese have invented the Mach 16 air plane. It can go around the Earth in seven hours. They tested it in March. 3,050 miles an hour. They're like, we're ready. Let's put some people on this. It can make it from New York to London in an hour and 20.

[Dale]

Minutes, which means bringing the Concord back.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the Concord's coming back in its own. And the reason why is because they see that the Chinese have invented this thing and they're like, we got to get on the ball. That's the seven hours around the planet.

[Brett Matthias]

And what was the Concorde? How long did it take to get Concorde?

[John Holmberg]

Took about three hours was its record.

[Brett Matthias]

So this is like half in that.

[John Holmberg]

Half cuts that in half. And that's the short spell if you want to go from here to Australia. And I've been on that flight. Trust me, it ain't fun. 16 hours to land in Sydney and usually that's a connecting flight. So you're on a plane for 20 something hours. It's awful. This can get me from LA to Sydney in about five hours, four hours. And that's with all the garbage of airports. They could probably boost it to three. So if you wanted to go from LA to New York the long way, six hours, it's the same flight from LA to New York right now. They can do it and you can go over. It's unbelievable that's going to happen in our lifetime.

[Dale]

Did they say. I didn't look at it. Did they say how many passengers on that?

[John Holmberg]

Not yet. Because they haven't built it up like that yet. It's. It's a rocket. And so Larry and I were talking yesterday because Waymo just now said, do you want to try us on the freeway? Like if you're on the app, it'll say, want to go to run. It's a little trepidatious the way they're asking, like, if you'd like, we'll take you on the freeway. It's new to us too. And then you hit the thing, go, I'm interested. And then it's like, all right, you're on a list. So you get on a list of people who are willing to risk getting on the freeway in a driverless car. Now it's a little scary, but I love the way my demo. Would you get on the 3,000 mile an hour plane as a beta tester for a free flight around the world?

[Dale]

Sure. I don't think it's a beta test.

[John Holmberg]

You wouldn't right off the bat, like, look, it's Free. How about this? Free for the rest of your life.

[Dale]

To go through some kinks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I need to see it crash once. Free for the rest of your life of flying. If you do, if you're one of.

[Brett Matthias]

The test runners, I'm gonna take a shot on that.

[John Holmberg]

Me too.

[Brett Matthias]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Would you do.

[Brett Matthias]

Worth the risk.

[Dale]

Free for life.

[John Holmberg]

But you got to go through the first 20 flights of just testing. You're not going anywhere. But it's going to run one around the world. You're going to take off in Phoenix and land in Phoenix seven hours later. But we're going to see where the kinks are. You get on that commie jet. I'm not racist. I'm getting on that.

[Brett Matthias]

Me too.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care. Half stuff I have on is from China. Why am I all of a sudden picking fights with them? Yeah. Seven hours around the world. But I mean, think about how great that is. And again, we as human beings, we don't even marvel at human achievement anymore. It'll be about a hundred years that we've actually had passenger flight that we went from. Holy cow, it got off the ground and it went 100ft to. We can get around the world in seven hours. A hundred years.

[Dale]

I'm just not that much of a hurry.

[John Holmberg]

You're not. You'd rather sit on a plane? Not me. Think about it. From here to Albuquerque is like five minutes. Like, you want to go to Albuquerque? Maybe one of those would beta crash into Albuquerque. That wouldn't be so bad.

[Dale]

They gotta be flying like at a really high altitude.

[John Holmberg]

You'd think so.

[Dale]

Just screaming everything out of the way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You can't. You can't risk nicking anything. The wind. Because they have problems right now. When a jumbo jet like a big boy goes off ahead of like a 737, they've got to wait like five minutes because the air still spins. And they have to make sure it's all calmed like water.

[Guest or Announcer]

Did they say how they're going to deal with the sonic boom? Because that's why the Concorde went away. They wouldn't allow it to fly over.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they say that places the Concorde went away because A1 crashed and B, no one was buying crash was a big one. Yeah.

[Guest or Announcer]

And people, the price of tickets was another one.

[John Holmberg]

It got crazy. They have not talked about that. I mean, it's one of those things that I said. I mean, come on. Big deal.

[Brett Matthias]

Well, it says the US has lifted the band on overland flights for supersonics.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because they can make the because we can tell people now on their phones, hey, every day at 1:15 the boom's gonna happen so people don't flip the F out that we're getting bombed. I think I'd beta test this thing if they called me up. Oh, you want to get on a parade and go around the world in a 7 hour? I sure do, Xing. I sure wouldn't feel anything if it crashed. You disintegrate.

[Dale]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What if you find out that people are disintegrating from the speed anyway? We lose a compression, Everybody touched the dust, that's fine. Well, that's a good way to go.

[Dale]

Concord, you know, was just a panel. A faulty panel.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Well, all things can break. Not worried about it being perfect it's gonna crash. But think about the first people that got on. But it was relatively safe, regular planes. Think about it. Talking this same conversation. Did you see the giant blimp they flew over San Francisco the other day? 7 times larger than the Goodyear blimp. And like, we can do this for passenger travel. It's. It's big as the Golden Gate Bridge.

[Dale]

Test that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I think I can leap out of that. It's going like a mile an hour.

[Dale]

There's enough time to figure something out.

[John Holmberg]

You can rebuild a new blimp in the time yours is going to crash. And why are you going to travel on a blimp?

[Brett Matthias]

It takes forever to get anywhere.

[John Holmberg]

Those are for people who want to talk too much. Yeah, back to drinking, buddy. I got some guy that wants to talk my ear off, and we're blimping from San Francisco to San Luis Obispo and it takes eight hours. Meanwhile, the Chinese are shooting across the planet in seven hours.

[Brett Matthias]

Ping, put me up in that concert. I'm in there.

[Brady]

I'm with you.

[John Holmberg]

He's your captain of something.

[Dale]

Wong, what about that train we saw the other day? Oh, and they taper that down 300.

[John Holmberg]

Miles an hour on a train. I mean, why are we complaining? It's the greatest time to be alive. I know there's rough stuff, personally, financially. You got a problem here. You hate Trump, you love Trump, and your friends hate Trump. I don't know what you're bitching about. For the most part, everybody's just inconvenienced. China has built a plan, and I don't care who did it either. Seven hours around the planet, that's 26,000 miles.

[Dale]

That's humping.

[Brady]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

It's getting her done, man. So sometimes you tip your cap to the opposition China. Nice job. Now, what I know is.

[Dale]

Is it Japan or China?

[John Holmberg]

China.

[Dale]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

What I know is. And you can't tell the difference, but it is China. And you'll piss people off if you say the opposite. Is that Japan and the United States aren't going to stand for this. We're gonna build a better. Whatever one of those are. And the Mach 17 that we come up with. Because if seven hours is the first try, in a few years, us gonna be like, hey, China, we're doing it in five. It's all name that tune.

[Dale]

The 747's a Model T.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, those are going away planes. Oh, I cannot wait for this. Oh, my. And they said they'll fly 25 miles in the air. This guy says, that's up there. That's a little bit up there.

[Dale]

You're gonna be in a spacesuit.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. You're gonna have to wear like. You're gonna be like Katy Perry and float around with that flower and stare at a camera. So good job, Chinese. We don't say that enough here in the States. Sometimes I do. Xi Jing's a nice guy, good leader, and he's got that super plane that's a lot better than mine. May I get a great plane? But now we got those people over there in Yemen or whatever or Jordan that are building us the new Air Force One. Nix that. Let's talk to Xi Jing. They'll put surveillance stuff. We don't have enough equipment. We can't rush through it once to find out if they're spying on us through the new Mach 16. Get that thing to our President ASAP. Here's what I'm saying. Make friends with China. Know now. Cuz if we're not on board with this, those jets are coming here. They're not going to be happy. So if we don't have our own, we have to make friends with China today.

[Dale]

Take off. Straight up.

[John Holmberg]

Just about awesome. I. I want to be on it. Brett and I will be the first ones on it. We're going. You. We're going to Turks and Caicos. While Brady's like, good luck. Yeah, that's right. What?

[Dale]

See you on Monday.

[John Holmberg]

What? Oh, you should have been there, Brady. It was awesome. What? God damn it. We can't tell him about our awesome supersonic trip.

[Dale]

I'm worried about my ear popping.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Oh, 25 miles.

[John Holmberg]

My cur. It. You might explode into the greatest hearing you've ever had. Anyway, thank you, China. You heard me. Those commies get it done. I say I'm a mag tired communist. I've been called that before. Not sure how it works, but I'm all on it. Did I hear you and Brett talk about wanting to blimp and drink together? Isn't that gay? No, that's a blumpkin, not a blimpkin. That's different.

[Brett Matthias]

We never say they're going to blame.

[John Holmberg]

No, we're not going to blumpkin either. Anyway. And the Concord is coming back, but it's now. I mean, that's like the new design.

[Dale]

Pretty cool.

[John Holmberg]

It's neat. They made the inside really nice, but it's the same old thing.

[Dale]

I. I could handle three hours and 17 minutes to lunch.

[John Holmberg]

You say that, but if there was an hour and a half version, you'd be like, this sucks. It's the same thing as saying, I can handle six hours on a regular plane, nine hours to France. Of course you can.

[Brett Matthias]

But why would you want to?

[John Holmberg]

But why would you want to when three hours exist? It's like when you have cookies in the house and you eat a cookie and you put the bag back. Those Tate's cookies are the worst because they. You bag them back and put them back on the shelf and you go sit down and you're like, I want another cookie. And you go eat. And then there's no cookies left. You stop having cravings. You got a bag of chips and you eat chips. You put the chip bag back, you sit down, you're like, there's still chips. I want those chips. Until it's gone. Your brain just says, no. Same with flying. I can take a six hour version or a three hour version. Okay. I can take a three hour version or an hour and a half. You're gonna want the best option. Like it sucks. Like there's a reason why you won't fly to Salt Lake City to get to Las Vegas. Even though it's a lot cheaper because it's gonna take forever. Convenience. We live in it.

[Brett Matthias]

I mean, I'm gonna inspect the plane we get on. If they're. If it's. If it's a PlayStation controller running like Patel and the boys, I'm out. But you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, legitimate stick and computers up there. Yeah, yeah. If my foot goes through the floor, it's like, hey guys, did you. Oh, cabin is still a little shaky. Don't worry, everything is a top notch. All right, I'll take your word for it there. But we have you back here at seven hour. You see Hollow World. All right, just don't walk around too much, guys. They'll go too fast. You shoot the back of prayer. And can you get up on a 3,000 mile an hour thing and walk to the bathroom?

[Dale]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

You know what's great? You know what's great? Save this conversation. And in six years I'll be like, listen to those idiots talking about how we fly now. It's gotta be like, how do you compress the air to normalize 3,000 miles an hour? I don't get it.

[Dale]

Lot of pressure.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, your eardrums are gonna feel it. How fast was the concorde? I think it was like a third of that. Either way, great job, Chinese. We're proud of you. This is a lot better than the coke joke we always tell about you. There's. You're serious about something right now. Most of the time you're just putting stuff on Temu. That sucks. This is the real deal right here.

[Brett Matthias]

Well, then Concord was 1354 miles an hour. Mach 2.

[John Holmberg]

Nearly tripled Mach 16.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And the good thing is now it's the. The race to five hours. And it'll happen. Unless we die tragically soon. It will happen in our lifetime.

[Brady]

Awesome.

[John Holmberg]

So cool. And how do we sign up for it? Brett, do you want to go online and try to see if you can get us on this thing as a test? A couple of test dummies. I'll wear the little yellow dots and let them them take a look at my corpse if it hits a wall. To see how they can make safety measures.

[Dale]

They won't find much.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's well what they find. They'll be like, this is no good. Your head fall off? We have to have a bit of head restraint. I wonder if you just lay in a pod or something the whole time.

[Dale]

That's what I'm thinking.

[John Holmberg]

Like an air. Like it would be like an alien.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You have to shoot into one of those pods. Awesome.

[Dale]

The cabin lay down.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. 3,000 miles an hour. Come on. You're all excited because you've got a GTO that goes 120. That's crazy talk. Anyway, thanks, Chinese people. If you know a Chinese person today, tell them Happy Thanksgiving. Dale's going to be in here in just a little bit. Talk about sports before the big sports week and rivalry week in college. You got tomorrow's Thanksgiving day games. And Dale was part of what, nine of those. Ten of those when he was with the cowboys. I've always. I've never asked him about it. We'll talk about the Thanksgiving day games in the NFL next. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Still streaming. Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail]. No, he just. When's he gonna show us? Well, here we go, everybody. It is. It's Wednesday.

[Brady]

About done with that plate?

[John Holmberg]

We're done with play. You hate play. D'oh. But you hate all music. That isn't stupid.

[Brady]

So.

[John Holmberg]

Actually, the lady that won. Or. Well, I say 1. She had the best score. Had a little bit of a country rock vibe to her. Let me play a little taste.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on.

[Brett Matthias]

This was.

[John Holmberg]

Her name is DJ Beth Shiva.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

The Alchemist.

[Brady]

I like that.

[John Holmberg]

She's beautiful.

[Brady]

So you had the. The thing last night?

[John Holmberg]

Night?

[Brady]

The playoffs?

[John Holmberg]

No, all the bands that could. That we wanted to be in our finals. Like, three of them couldn't make it. So we moved it to next Tuesday.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

So we had to call an audible. Where is this thing? She's.

[Brady]

When.

[John Holmberg]

When she starts singing, you'll be blown away. Where the hell is it? Dj Bathroom. Come on. I'm working on it. Dale. I didn't expect you. That's. We're running a.

[Brady]

You're mailing it in for a holiday?

[Brett Matthias]

Come on now.

[Brady]

A break. We already got a break.

[John Holmberg]

Is it day one? Yeah, we've already got him. Day three.

[Brady]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Where is she? There she is. Listen to this. Dale, you'll like.

[Brady]

What would you do without Big Dick Toledo?

[John Holmberg]

Smile more. All right.

[Brady]

Here we go. Listen to how.

[John Holmberg]

Listen to this woman's voice. Angel.

[Brady]

And you probably like this already because Hillbilly Voxel winner.

[John Holmberg]

When she starts singing, you're gonna be blown away. Some local lady. She's a truck driver.

[Brady]

What? Yep.

[John Holmberg]

I've been walking through the ashes of my past.

[Brady]

Winner.

[John Holmberg]

Are you serious? Wait till she gets gone. Hilarious.

[Brady]

How good is she? That is really good.

[Brett Matthias]

Let me show Dale what she looks like.

[John Holmberg]

I got fire burning. Freedom Beautiful.

[Brady]

I even have the competition. That's why we give it to her.

[John Holmberg]

That's why we moved the.

[Dale]

Here's who she's running against.

[Brady]

And then.

[John Holmberg]

And then there's also this one that she's got this one up against her, too. And I think you'll like this. Let me tell you a story. A man named Piss Ball. Pet his dick. So Smiley pissed on his ball. That's the whole song. And still more intelligent. And most country songs.

[Brady]

Come on now.

[John Holmberg]

That's it.

[Brady]

That is in the finals with that young lady.

[John Holmberg]

We're trying. Yeah, we're One Star Night. No, actually, no. One Star Night broke up like 18 years ago, we found out it's just the dude in the band put it at us out.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

We had some great music yesterday, including DJ Bathsheba, the alchemist. Dale.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

So I don't hear it from you.

[Brady]

All right, well, she's got my vote, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

I undershot. The traveling speed of that Chinese Mach 16 plane is 3,000 miles an hour. It is capable of 12,276 miles per hour.

[Brady]

So it's on low throttle.

[John Holmberg]

So yeah. Yeah, you're buzzing from here to Chicago. You don't want to gas it too hard and scare everybody, but. Yeah. Wow. Isn't that unreal?

[Brady]

I just want leg room. Johnny, what's the leg room?

[John Holmberg]

What's the best thing in Dale Hell's incredibly long life that's been invented. Do you think? Wow, you're what, 70 something?

[Brady]

Wow.

[Dale]

Thermos.

[John Holmberg]

A thermos. The thermos, yeah. The refrigerator later.

[Brady]

You know what?

[John Holmberg]

Indoor plumbing, electricity.

[Brett Matthias]

Yeah.

[Brady]

But probably the.

[John Holmberg]

The.

[Brady]

The TV's in the back cars. So when you travel with the kids. Yeah, I. I literally did this. I was dad of the year. I thought I didn't get enough credit for it. When we won our third super bowl out here, we beat some teams.

[John Holmberg]

All right, keep going.

[Brady]

The Steelers.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady]

At all our stuff back in Dallas. So my wife. Wife Brooke and who you'll never meet and youngest daughter Kendall, were. Were not feeling well. So I said, hey, I'll be dad of the year. I'll take my three and a half year old daughter. Hillary will fly back, hang out for a couple days and then drive back.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Okay. But again, there was no iPads. There was no.

[John Holmberg]

There were no flat screens.

[Brady]

There's nothing. And as the back wheels hit the concrete, I was staying with Troy the last two weeks because we had rental house was already done. And so I'm pull out as soon as it hits. Hillary says, how long till we get there? How do you tell a three and a half year old? It's all day today, we're spending the night and then we're gonna go about.

[Dale]

Six hours tomorrow with a spoonful of Benadryl.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's exactly right. You knock that thing.

[Brady]

Well, I will tell you this. We put her back in the suitcase.

[John Holmberg]

What was she doing out of the suitcase?

[Brady]

We all always stayed. I always love to stay at an Embassy Suites because they had the happy hour breakfast in the morning, whatever. And. And she had her first sip of Jack Daniels.

[John Holmberg]

He did number. He took the right approach.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So but then no TVs. You had nothing to entertain.

[Brady]

But. But all of a sudden you get those. And like we'd go to Telluride every year.

[John Holmberg]

They never said a word. Boom.

[Brady]

It's like we're there and. And you get to listen to your stuff. They do their stuff.

[John Holmberg]

So. So prior to that though, drugging them the best option a parent had.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It really was 16 hours in the car.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna ask my dad when he's here. I don't think my mom would tell me the truth. I gotta meet her later today. I might. I'll ask her if they ever drugged us. Cause my parents used to. We took an El Camino from Chicago to northwestern Pennsylvania. Family of four. An El Camino is basically a pickup truck car with no back seat. And they just scoot the front seat up and cram me and my sister behind the seat. Feet where the. You know the stuff to change a tire is.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And we'd sit like lesbians. Scissoring, basically feet to feet to shoulder for 10 hours. About eight and a half, nine hours. Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah. My parents used to just throw me in the back seat with a coffee can because we weren't stopping to pee.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You got to get in there and.

[Brady]

Having two ropes so I could move around. They tied you and they had ropes. Ropes around my belt. Shut your mouth. Oh.

[Dale]

He was like sloth.

[John Holmberg]

Literally were tied to the car.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry.

[Brady]

How's the seatbelt?

[John Holmberg]

But what did they think you were gonna do?

[Brady]

Well, someone fly out the front window, got an accident.

[John Holmberg]

I guess they had seatbelts in the car.

[Brady]

Yeah, but I needed some room to roll.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you wanted to run around. So you were like one of those. He was antsy like those primates at the zoo they have. But he's flying around. But he's got a tether. It's the dog from Foghorn Lake Horn. Anyway, Dale Hellustrates here. Three time world champion. He's brought to you by our friends at diamond coatings. Az.com they did my backyard basketball court. My sport court looks amazing. Brady's garage looks even better. And then you got the pavers that you did to make those look brand new and refreshed again. I'm on the. I'm on that train as well. They'll do countertops. My backyard countertops took a beating from the sun. They're going to get those done too. They do everything. Diamond coatings AZ.com bringing you Dale today. Now let's talk. Dale. Let's talk about What I saw earlier this week that I am shocked. I honestly shocked that and I think it's because no one wants to give me credit that there isn't a sports station in town or a channel in town because they're afraid of the Cardinals. That has not come come to me and said wait a minute, what did you see? This is proof that it's. This is one of the things you say. Arizona is a soft town. Very soft. The Suns or Phoenixes? The Suns don't play tough when tough guys come here. Dylan Brooks is proving that theory wrong so far. And this team is tougher than it's been.

[Brady]

Much fun.

[John Holmberg]

They're a blast to watch. They really are. The Suns are so much fun to watch because there's an energy and an effort we haven't seen from a Resorts franchise. Ex McDaniel is always my example. We brought muscle in.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

To take us over the top in 1991. 90 91. Ex McDaniel coming from the.

[Brady]

I still remember Maurice Lucas when he came here.

[John Holmberg]

Mo.

[Brady]

He was my favorite because I was in high school.

[John Holmberg]

Came from the Sixers.

[Brady]

Yeah. Ass in Portland also.

[John Holmberg]

Was he in Portland before?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He won a championship.

[Brady]

Portland with Bill Wall.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. And then in the. In the 80s was badass.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And the Suns got him.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And all he did was help him sell cocaine. Are you thinking of Mo Cheeks?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Mo Cheeks. But I think Maurice Lucas played for the Sixers as well. But yeah, maybe the Bucks. I don't remember. But he came over here as muscle. Yes. And James Edwards and. And that team was like, whoa, we got some. Got some bangers out there.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

That was also in a time when. And the Suns were still the softest team and they had bangers because the rest of the league was allowed to punch you. So they're doing that. But it's a soft, soft town.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

The media plays a massive part of that. They are not tough on the Cardinals. They think they are by saying they stink, but they're not tough on them by doing what they should have done. When I saw Bill Bidwell Sunday night, Michael, I'm calling him Bill because he's acting like his dad and don't correct me ever again.

[Brady]

No, no, he is.

[John Holmberg]

Bill.

[Brady]

His dad was not. Would it never be at the Rah Rah.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you, he wasn't cool enough. But he's acting nothing as aloof and stupid as his dad did with this franchise. So he is just Bill Chunko. Bill. Bill Bidwell. I don't care what you call him? He's Bill and reincarnate at the Rah Rah Room. Hanging out there at 5:40 something. I'm not going to put an exact timestamp on it, but I was in there before the Suns game started at 6 on Sunday.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

The Cardinal game ended.

[Brady]

And this is Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

Sunday.

[Brady]

Overtime game in Glendale.

[John Holmberg]

Overtime game. Game.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You have eight to be at a year.

[Brady]

Correct.

[John Holmberg]

You can skip the preseason. No one's going to be mad. But you shouldn't.

[Brady]

No, not when you're the owner.

[John Holmberg]

He's down there hanging out, having a drink and a beer and a, and a dinner before the Suns play at 6. His game ended at approximately 5:20.

[Brady]

Not a good look, John.

[John Holmberg]

Bad look.

[Brady]

Not a good look.

[John Holmberg]

Not only that, Dale, tell me what happens to Jerry Jones in Dallas if he's not at the end of the game.

[Brady]

Are you kidding me?

[John Holmberg]

Even Sunday's game, Are you kidding me?

[Brady]

He would be vilified.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And guess what? He would know that's coming. Yeah, you got the Cardinals here. This guy named Mark, Mark Dalton, who's, who's been there for 25 years and rules with an iron fist and threatens people and all that. Say anything negative about the Cardinals. He's, he 86 me out of channel 12 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no kidding.

[Brady]

Yeah. So somehow, some way I'm supposed to, to go on with Bruce Cooper and, and talk about a 40 to 3 loss and say boy, they gave a.

[John Holmberg]

Good effort and not, not make fun of the franchise or its direction or anything.

[Brady]

And, and so they, they will intimidate the local stations, the local TV stations who obviously count on them for content, will acquiesce. I don't think your show depends on the Cardinals doing good or not.

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Brady]

And so when I heard that story that blew my mind and then that got topped last night, my brother calls.

[John Holmberg]

Me, oh, this is huge.

[Brady]

Season ticket holder since 1988. Him. My dad went in when the Cardinals first moved here.

[John Holmberg]

Keep in mind that's almost 40 years.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[Brady]

1988. First. First season. And my, my. My dad passed away in 1998. My brothers kept the season tickets to 2025. He gets a season ticket renewal last year, night or yesterday. Email.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

45% increase in ticket prices.

[John Holmberg]

Same seats.

[Brady]

Same seats, 45% increase. And where they've given you options before. Hey, you can pay in 12 payments with a credit card, whatever. They want the money by December 15th. Now if you're sitting here and you're going, hey, we're, we're seven and Three, we're making a push for the playoffs.

[John Holmberg]

And.

[Brady]

And things are looking great even then.

[John Holmberg]

It's kind of 40 bounce.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Dale]

It went up 5%.

[John Holmberg]

Well, even 40 to 45.

[Brady]

Either way, it's 40. I'm not good at math.

[John Holmberg]

40. Even if it's 30%.

[Brady]

Yes, that's 30. Like from $95 to $145. Brady, you do the math. While you got that thing over there. Don't. Don't use your phone.

[John Holmberg]

That's $50. Yeah, that's $50 increase, I take it, which is 40. 40 plus percent.

[Brady]

Right. And they want the full payment by December 15th.

[John Holmberg]

Actually, it's more than that. It's $50. It's 50 plus.

[Brady]

And his friends who he tailgates with, they have better seats. They're in the lower level, and theirs are going up just as much. Wow. And so they're sending these out in November saying we want the payment by December 15th. And by the way, we might have the top. Top five pick this year because we suck so bad.

[John Holmberg]

And you know. Well, they got.

[Dale]

Oh, they threw that in there.

[John Holmberg]

Y. They should be there for our draft, so. And Kendall, whatever his name, Slovis, is going to be your starting quarterback. That's right.

[Dale]

Are they throwing a ticket to the draft party?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe.

[Brady]

My brother said, you know, back in the day, they used to give him gifts and things like that. They've gotten one towel in two years. One cardinal. I remember you're going to use to wash the car.

[John Holmberg]

I had season tickets.

[Brady]

Wipe your butt with.

[John Holmberg]

I renewed my tickets. And you know what our gift was in 1995 when I renewed the tickets? A keychain of a cardinal's helmet.

[Dale]

Cool.

[John Holmberg]

It was. The size of it was like. It fits between your finger and your. Your index finger and your thumb. And I'm like, wow. And I thought at the time, I'm like, oh, neat. They're going to be sending me stuff every couple weeks, right? These little.

[Brady]

That was it. That was.

[Dale]

It didn't come in a plastic egg.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

My story goes back to 2002, when I did the pregame show, and I. At after about week 10, I told him, hey, by the way, I haven't been paid. Yeah, we had an agreement before. I don't know how I'm getting paid. Am I supposed to get a check? And like, no, you got paid. Like, no, I didn't. And it went on to the end of the year, and I kept calling like, I have not been paid.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Like, you got paid. We have record of it. Like, you don't have record of it. I haven't had anything. They sent a check that had a fraudulent signature on the back.

[Brady]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

My signature. I'm like, well, it cleared. And I'm like, well, then somebody stole. Then you need to investigate because it.

[Brady]

Never came to my house.

[John Holmberg]

Never said a thing. So I remember I did finally get a check.

[Brett Matthias]

Check.

[John Holmberg]

And I let Brady do it. And I remember you signed the back of it. We put it in the bank. And I said, now they don't even know what my signature looks like. And they never will. It took. I pulled teeth to get paid. And they were like, you got paid already. Eric Hill used to tell me stories in that pregame show about horrible stuff.

[Brady]

They used to.

[John Holmberg]

And this franchise is bad. But this Bill Bidwell thing, not one person. And you got to think 98. 7 is negligent here. That sports station that covers them because they've got Vince Morata, who I love of is the Sun's announcer in house. You've got. You've got media people all over.

[Brady]

Evan Ray's on there all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Krie goes down there, but it's not his job to monitor the Cardinals. These sports writers that are at the Suns game that probably left that Cardinals game early to get there on time, too, never once said, what's he doing here?

[Brady]

That makes absolutely no sense.

[John Holmberg]

Bill Bidwell has. I have the theory that he's selling the team. I have a theory that he and Ishba said, let's meet after the game. I'll be there.

[Brady]

Okay, well, I'll meet you after the game.

[John Holmberg]

ISHB is going back and forth. ISHB goes to more Sons games. He doesn't even live here.

[Brady]

Right. No, that. Absolutely. When I heard you say that, that absolute.

[John Holmberg]

You shouldn't have anything else to do on that Sunday night.

[Brady]

No, that's a standalone Sunday. You got eight of them.

[John Holmberg]

Your players are still in the locker room answering media. Yes.

[Brady]

You got. You got eight of them out of 52 weeks. You got eight Sundays that you're at home.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And. And say, I got to get to.

[John Holmberg]

The rah Rah room.

[Brady]

It's a just.

[John Holmberg]

I got dinner reservations. It doesn't even matter that I've got dinner reservations. I gotta go. Can't happen.

[Brady]

It speaks to the woe, be gone status of this franchise. And yet we sit here and they got. They have a ton of fans. Whoever you year, hope, hope and hope against hope. And it's just. It's ridiculous.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, and by the way, let's we're gonna raise ticket prices 50%. Yeah. And.

[John Holmberg]

And then to poke the. The fans.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

They moved my tickets and gave me an upgrade in price.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They're like here. The tickets you had were this much last year. We're gonna move you back 14 or 15 rows in two sections over. And it's gonna cost you more.

[Brady]

It's gonna cost you more.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. I'm done here.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then DirecTV showed up about a year and a half later, and I'm like, thank God.

[Brady]

Unless somebody gives me tickets to a sweet wheat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I'm not staying at home. I'm staying at home. Give me my. My tv, my bathroom, my. My drinks, whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Have you ever seen a Pirates game in the last two or three years? The owner has to be snuck in because the fans scream at him to sell the team so loudly that they did it in Chicago too. And they had a couple of those guys there. Like, they scream at the owners to where they're uncomfortable.

[Brady]

Right.

[Brett Matthias]

They feel threat and they shouldn't be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And.

[John Holmberg]

And they should be stealing from you.

[Brett Matthias]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

And the bid. Well's not being. I'm sh. There isn't a sports station that said. Okay, let's talk to Michael about that.

[Brady]

Right? Yeah. But number one, because a lot of. A lot of people listen to Brady and Brett on your show. But. Well, why on earth has this not garnered a little more traction?

[John Holmberg]

Because the franchise is irrelevant.

[Brady]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

That's the biggest announcement for me that what comes of this is that it's completely irrelevant.

[Brady]

The owner can be at another. Another pro sports game while his 2 and 17.

[John Holmberg]

Remember when Urban Meyer floated over, didn't go back with the team, and he went over and had sex with a waitress at his. No. He's the king of Columbus.

[Brady]

He just touched and it showed.

[Dale]

She's just waiting.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. It showed exactly what he's made of, which is I like attention in Columbus. That's where they like me. I'm not going back to Jacksonville. They don't. And they got rid of him a week later going, are you kidding me?

[Brady]

But you can't get rid of these owner.

[John Holmberg]

That's the big issue.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And that's a problem.

[Brady]

And. And of course, the way the NFL's built, the four of us, we had the. The amount of money to buy a franchise. Yeah. We couldn't. No. We couldn't bumble our way to losing money. You. You. You make money.

[John Holmberg]

It's like immediately make.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So it's. But that's how they It's. It's horrendous, number one, that he's at the game, the Phoenix Suns game. It's horrendous, number two, too, that they're sending out these season ticket renewals. And my brother's Buddy, he has eight tickets, had him since 1988.

[John Holmberg]

He's going to cancel.

[Brady]

And they're both talking about. And guess what? The Cardinals don't care. They don't care. We're going to build some more casitas or whatever that aren't going to be sold out anyway.

[John Holmberg]

Storage facilities. By the way, Taylor Swift is more involved in the football team she's with than Bill Bidwell. At least she stays to the end.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brady]

Win or lose.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this is. And I got to listen to Gamba. Ding dong. My sources tell me I got this. That you won't bash this guy from being out of the.

[Brady]

No. Because Mark Dalton will be on the phone call.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we'll pull it from K. From your. Yeah.

[Brady]

Whatever it is.

[John Holmberg]

Arizona sports station. And I like everybody over there. All those guys are nice. But grow some balls and be a media in a town that actually holds this team accountable. Because Michael Bidwell and his dad have never been. Been feet to the fire. They've been prodded. Oh, you suck. But never feet to the fire. Jeffrey Lurie in Philadelphia got heat last year.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And they won the Super Bowl.

[Brady]

Damn Super Bowl. The doing the Patriots craft. And Belichick got booed the first game after they won a Super Bowl.

[John Holmberg]

Right. It's. It's brutal to. To not hold them accountable. It is just absolutely brutal. And you got to get rid of this team. Rah, rah. I know Michael Bidwell, and I'll tell you, this could have been a doctor double. No. No. Because you know why we know that? Because my friend Brian, who's a Cardinal fan through and through, was literally kind of pissed off.

[Brady]

Why wouldn't you be?

[John Holmberg]

And he said, I stayed for the end of the game and ran down here to get free tickets to his son's. I'm not tied to it. I'm a fan.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And he said. And I said, well. And we did say, maybe that's not him. My buddy Marty's with us. And he goes, maybe that isn't him. And so I. I don't know who did it, Brian or Marty, but they were looking on their phone and saw, nope, that's his wife. And she was sitting right next to him. Like, that's them.

[Brady]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Reservations sitting down.

[John Holmberg]

And I don't know.

[Dale]

It was Their anniversary.

[Brett Matthias]

They wanted to spend it in a basketball game.

[John Holmberg]

You got a high end restaurant you built in yours?

[Brady]

Yes, a few of them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it drives me bananas. All right, we're gonna get to our picks in a second here as Dale.

[Brady]

Hey, we won last week.

[John Holmberg]

We won pretty big last week. It was a nice win. Dale. Brought to you by our friends at Diamond Coatings az. Get your garage floor spruced up. This holiday season, you can do anything you want. You put a logo in the middle of it. You can actually make it a bar and get your cars out of there. I've seen them do that. Pretty awesome stuff. Diamond coatings AZ.com is going to take care of you. Our picks are coming up in just a little bit. The Cardinals should get more pressure. I don't know if you know anybody over at Channel 12 still, but somebody needs to be on this.

[Brady]

But they won't.

[John Holmberg]

And they need to.

[Brady]

Won't. Oh, Mark Dalton used to email Bruce Cooper every Monday after I made my appearance and stuff. Why do you have Dale on? Yeah. Nobody listens to him. Well, obviously you're listening to me. And it was. And Bruce would just read these things. Go, what? It's just completely.

[John Holmberg]

And that's a kid glove, this team.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I know Jerry Jones is a polarizing figure, but in Dallas, if he's. Look, everybody's like, he needs to get his hands off. His hands off. If he left the game, they'd be like, wait a second. Not that much.

[Brady]

The thing about Jerry and he, he did it from the time he bought the team in 1989. He said, I don't care if you talk good about us or bad of us, as long as you're talking about us.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Cardinals. If not talking good about us, even though we suck.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Then you're not going to have. You're not going to be able to come and see us. Well, crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Not one free agent should come to this city for that.

[Brady]

Not one. We want a team that don't you want a team you can root for?

[Brett Matthias]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I want a team that goes 0 and 16 multiple years in a row and then the owner is forced to sell. Go back to my rule. If you don't, you don't make the.

[Brady]

I. I remember that from a couple years ago now. John, are you guys going to be able to help me? We won some money last week.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brady]

And you sent it via Apple Pay.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady]

I don't know how to do Apple pay.

[John Holmberg]

It's not my problem. We'll be right back with more Dale.

[Brady]

After this.

[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. Hear the words you say sometimes.

[Guest or Announcer]

I mean, who talks like that?

[Brady]

Hol's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

No one's gonna notice that. Look, you spelled it wrong.

[Brady]

Guys, look.

[John Holmberg]

Qu. Dale needs help with his apple pay. If somebody wants to get into his accounts, he'd more than happy. I don't know if you have.

[Brady]

I'll give you $10. You figure out how to get it from my apple pay to my bank.

[John Holmberg]

Toledo figured out, but we pay an apple pay around here. If you can't figure it out, that's your problem.

[Brady]

We won this last.

[John Holmberg]

We won our bet. $700 each.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

On a bet that worked out really nicely. Brady picked his bengals to lose to the patriots, which is easy as pie.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

We let Brett say you picked the bears. I gave you that one. They beat the Steelers. I picked Pat Friarmuth to have a touchdown in that game.

[Brady]

You're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

That's what Big one.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And you picked the cowboys to beat the eagles.

[Brady]

And you're sitting there and you just sat during the break.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You almost felt like, I'd rather have dale pay me $33 than win 700.

[John Holmberg]

I was in the raha room with Michael Bidwell, Bill. And I'm standing there, and I'm looking at that, and I'm like. And my buddy Jordan has the game on. He goes, the cowboys came back and tied it. I'm like, no kidding. 21. 21. And they're driving. And we had the game on Jordan's phone. And I'm looking down, and I saw that we were about to win $2880. This is awesome.

[Brady]

You're right.

[John Holmberg]

And I told the guys, I'm like, It's about a $3,000 win here. They're like, nice job. And then I realized I got to Split this.

[Brady]

With three guys.

[John Holmberg]

I don't really like $33 coming from you because you screwed it up. Might taste a little better than the 700.

[Brady]

I do have a buddy since 8 years old. He played Corey quarterback at Notre Dame. We went to high school together. Grew up still friends. That I would rather lose $20 to you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

To win $10 from him.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Just because it tastes better.

[John Holmberg]

It's just a better feeling.

[Brady]

700 versus 33.

[John Holmberg]

Because it would have been 700 to Brett and Brady, and they would have been really bothered by it. I think it would feel better had you screwed the bet up with your stupid cowboy loyalty. But it turned out okay.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

I would have loved for you to have to eat that but you didn't. And now let's get to it now.

[Brady]

Real quick, because I. Your. Your two little buddies here are ever going to say anything. You. You never settled up from the week before.

[John Holmberg]

He actually, Brett mentioned that you were gonna.

[Brett Matthias]

About that.

[John Holmberg]

Put some steak in the game, and I'll pay you back.

[Brady]

Put some steak in the game.

[John Holmberg]

I'm making all the best. The rules of the rules. I make all the bets.

[Brady]

No, the rules of the rules.

[John Holmberg]

New rule. Guy who puts in all the money doesn't have to pay his mistakes. All right, I'll add $33 to the boys.

[Brett Matthias]

You don't have to worry about my $33.

[Brady]

That's fine. Okay, so send me their 66.

[Brett Matthias]

Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

I'll send $99. Here's why. It'll stay in my account the entire time. He can't cash that. The guy can't figure out Apple pay to save his ass. And here's a cool thing they're doing at FanDuel right now. FanDuel.com Kup PD they're doing a Turkey Day special called Pass the Leg Parlay. It's a parlay builder you and your friends can do. Each of you adds a leg to a parlay, and everyone gets a 50 profit boost on their build. So you build it, you add to your buddy's thing, he adds to yours, and you guys can kind of get it together. It's a 50 profit boost. Go to FanDuel.com KUPD and figure that out, and you can build a bet with friends. And boom, that thing gets. You get a 50 boost on it, which is awesome. FanDuel.com is the place to go. Let's go there right now.

[Brady]

We're really interesting, just so you guys know. The fact that we have this gambler. Gambler.com on our. On my other podcast, the main event with Steve McCollum. He did the numbers in Las Vegas. Puts them out very quietly. Yeah, but they make about 35% of their money. Make it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

On parlays, when it's just single bats there, it's down around 5 or 6%.

[Brett Matthias]

We always say parlay means it missed it by one.

[John Holmberg]

Parlay is Latin for whoops, one.

[Brady]

Right. And that. And that's why every single thing that you see is, hey, bet this parlay.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they love betting parlays. Well, you're taking it away. Have your friends build it, and you can blame them like we do. Right. Let's start right there with Brett, who's got a tough one against the Eagles. That The Cowboys just beat coming off a bit little loss going home to Philadelphia playing your Bears who have won eight of the last nine games.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And did not impress me last week against the Steelers. But won the game, wins a win. Yeah.

[Brett Matthias]

You know I was looking at it and I normally don't. I usually just go straight up. But I think I'm going to take the. I think the Bears are plus seven.

[John Holmberg]

You're taking the Bears and seven points. All right.

[Brady]

And that's on a Black Friday. Are they shopping before the. Before the game?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's Friday at 1 o'.

[Dale]

Clock.

[John Holmberg]

It's a short week game which is on the road.

[Brady]

Road.

[John Holmberg]

That always screws stuff up. Let's go to your Cowboys there. You get the Kansas City Chiefs on Thanksgiving. Good game.

[Brady]

Yes. You know what's interesting? I did hear you mention you're going to ask me about playing on Thanksgiving, but you have an.

[John Holmberg]

I was getting to it. I know how to work this. I know how to work this machine. All right. Now I'm not going to ask you and I don't care. Cowboys are cheap.

[Brady]

What's the spread?

[John Holmberg]

Three and a half.

[Brady]

Is that Kansas City or Dallas Cowboys are getting three.

[John Holmberg]

Three and a half.

[Brady]

I think the Cowboys win out. Right.

[Guest or Announcer]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to Cowboys again. That's two weeks in a row he's taking chances, Eagles and Chiefs, the super bowl teams back to back and he's picking them against on both.

[Brady]

And let me tell you about Thanksgiving playing in Dallas. I played 11, 11 times on Thanksgiving. Never did we have a home game on Sunday and then obviously Thanksgiving's gonna be home every year.

[John Holmberg]

Think of that.

[Brady]

We're always on the the road. Always on the road.

[John Holmberg]

You had to come back home to play on Thanksgiving.

[Brady]

You get home late Sunday night, early Monday morning, play on the east coast, whatever. Yeah, we, we never played Sunday. Thursday, both at home.

[John Holmberg]

Think that's advantage 85% of teams traveling on a Thursday do not cover the spread. 60 some percent lose the game outright. Records don't matter. You just watched it with the Bills, right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean you see it all the time. The Steelers, the. I mean I forget who else. The Jags beat the Chiefs on a Thursday. Any traveling team on Thursday and Thanksgiving. Did you guys notice that? Like teams weren't prepared for you?

[Brady]

We always looked at it because understand some again, you're playing on a Sunday. You're not watching the film of the game. You're coming in on Monday having an abbreviated game plan. You have a little walkthrough On Tuesday. You have to travel on Wednesday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

For us, we're in Dallas.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You stay through the Wednesday.

[Brady]

It makes it a little bit. Plus, we always felt the fact that. Okay, now you get a 10 day respite.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

To. To many spring into December, and we always looked at that as a huge.

[John Holmberg]

What's the Cowboys record? It's got to be amazing on Thanksgiving. Yeah.

[Brady]

I have no idea.

[John Holmberg]

I bet you it's an astronomical gift, like every year. I don't think there. There's no way it's a losing record.

[Brady]

Well, it got to be so bad in the 90s when we were winning. The fact that they said, no, no, we need to start. Start rotating this thing around. But most people didn't know. There's a little addendum that the Cowboys signed because they wanted a Thanksgiving Day game. The Cowboys said, we'll play every Thanksgiving if you allow it to be a home game.

[John Holmberg]

And they'll do all. And it's worked out because the other one is the Lions, and that has not been so great. This year's better. My Steelers have the Bills coming to Pittsburgh. Steelers as a home dog is always a thing. Mike Tomlin doesn't do that. I'm going to take the Steel Steelers plus three and a half.

[Brady]

You're giving.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, man. They're just not that good.

[Brady]

That's gonna be. We're gonna win 33.

[John Holmberg]

They're just not good. All right, well, then that Brady has the opportunity. Either pick Ohio State or his Bengals. And I want you to pick those Bengals to beat the Ravens. Joe Burrows back. Will they do it?

[Dale]

Like you said, it's plus seven. They don't cover spread. Can they? Joe Burrows back. T. Higgins is on the back bubble.

[John Holmberg]

Let's go. Out.

[Brett Matthias]

Actually, he is out.

[John Holmberg]

They said Monday. He's out. Ravens going. Ravens. Well, now that. Yeah. This bet pays $11,000.

[Brady]

Well, I want you to throw in Ohio State. Michigan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You want to throw that in?

[Brady]

Because that is the most fascinating game.

[John Holmberg]

To me here in the weather.

[Brady]

Another perfect season for Ohio State.

[Dale]

All right, it's ten and a half points.

[John Holmberg]

No points. You got to pick a winner.

[Dale]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Ohio State go straight up. Ohio State. Ohio State's to given ten and a half in Michigan.

[Brady]

Really nasty weather.

[John Holmberg]

Is that Friday? Brady, it's Friday.

[Brady]

No, it's.

[Dale]

It's Saturday.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it is Saturday. Saturday.

[Dale]

10:14 kickoff here. Arizona time.

[John Holmberg]

If you want to join Brady at his house, knock loudly. He can't hear you. The doorbell is pointless.

[Brady]

Will you be watching out on the patio? With your shade.

[Dale]

Yeah. Got some boys coming over.

[Brady]

Oh, do you?

[John Holmberg]

I have to figure out how much that's gonna.

[Brady]

I'm not doing anything on Saturday.

[John Holmberg]

Come on over to have him over smoking some wings. All right. The bet has just turned into. Wait a five legger. And it is now. Was a thousand. It won't be much more because they're such a huge favorite. It's now. What's that thing paying? Oh, 1300. Yeah.

[Brett Matthias]

Now we're screwed.

[Brady]

I think you gotta give the points, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Start too late. Bet's in. Bats in. Were Thanksgiving games a treat for you? Did you enjoy. You enjoy them?

[Brady]

You know, it's always weird because I. I was. I was talking about earlier the fact that we tried many different ways to celebrate Thanksgiving. We try to do dinner. You're not gonna do it, obviously. Before the game. We played three o' clock in Dallas. Yeah. And so it's right in the middle of the day. We tried, you know, a couple years wise would stay home, do the Thanksgiving meal. We'd try and have it after. But if you lose, that sucks.

[John Holmberg]

You don't want to come home and miserable.

[Brady]

And the. Gee. And so finally, probably my last three or four years, we decided Brooke, myself and the kids, we'd fly back here Friday morning. Because nobody's flying on Friday morning. Thanksgiving weekend, have it with our actual families, hang out for the weekend, and then we'd fly back on Monday. And that ended up being probably the most enjoyable part of it. But yeah, it's everything. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, everything depends if you lost. It's like, I don't care what the hell you did.

[John Holmberg]

Just got a text from Otis. Says be true up. Bet true up. You guys sound like the real Housewives of FanDuel in Phoenix. Come on, points. He's kind of right.

[Brady]

Yeah, you guys are kind of soft.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, take the bears up. Straight up. I'll take the Steeler strip. I'll change the bet. At least it'll pay off a little better. How about that?

[Dale]

And then, you know, since I'm throwing in two bets for Dale's benefit, then it would be. I'd get $50 from Dale. Everyone else.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Exactly. Fair enough.

[Brady]

As long as I get my 99.

[John Holmberg]

From john fanduel.com kupd do the pass leg parlay builder with your friends. It's going to be pretty awesome. 50 profit boost on their build. That's pretty awesome. Get them involved in that. Get them on the fanduel as well. Yeah, we've. We've successfully Bash. The Cardinals Suns are fun. We talked about that.

[Brady]

You got ASU U of A. Which actually is something this year.

[John Holmberg]

Well because of U of A.

[Brady]

Because you.

[Guest or Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Come on asu. This is just. What are we fighting for? The Sun Bowl.

[Brady]

Well that does suck.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brady]

Hey, did I ever tell you about that?

[John Holmberg]

So you went to the Sun Bowl.

[Brady]

So my junior year at SMU we're 10 and 1. We're ranked sixth in the country. Fiesta Bowl, Orange bowl. Talking about bringing us to that country because back obviously things work back different back in the 80s.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And then they both saw that we don't travel well. We would sell a Texas stadium, sure in Dallas, but they didn't travel. A small school and they both passed on us. Guess where we ended up?

[John Holmberg]

Down at the sunbowl.

[Brady]

Frickin El Paso, Texas. We literally 1016 ranked team in the country. We had to have a team meeting to say do you want to go go to the bowl. To the.

[John Holmberg]

And why did you say yes?

[Brady]

I don't know if it was. I think it's maybe about 70, 30.

[Dale]

There's a good swag package in this.

[Brady]

But spending five days in freaking El Paso, that's a sentence. We stayed at an.

[John Holmberg]

Oh you broke it.

[Brady]

We stayed at a Embassy Suites.

[Brett Matthias]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And the highlight was the. Was the happy hour.

[John Holmberg]

Which you still like. Yeah. Wait a minute. Who'd you put play?

[Brady]

Alabama.

[John Holmberg]

And you mopped them up.

[Brady]

No, they kicked her. Oh really? So on top of the. To end the week it was 70 degrees all week. It was nice. It's 70 degrees. Great, great weather. I wake up game day, whatever day of the week it was and open my hotel room drapes and look out there's bank. Bank thing that said time and temperature. Yeah. I couldn't see because the room was foggy. So I had to whatever knock off the fog.

[John Holmberg]

Condensation.

[Brady]

Condensation. It was 31 degrees in El Paso and that was the high for the day. It got colder.

[Dale]

You could see Marty Robbins nipples.

[Brady]

And there was. We didn't bring winter gear with us.

[John Holmberg]

I just started throwing up. Faking seizures. I'm not playing in that none sense. Good lord.

[Brady]

And then to add insult to injury, my mom, dad, my little brother came to that game. Oh. And so I was just going home with him after the game because it's six hour drive, five hour drive back here and my dad's not going to spend a penny on. On parking. And so you know, I get out of the shower, got my bags and we're walking a freaking mile in the 30 degrees.

[John Holmberg]

How bad was the game?

[Brett Matthias]

Score?

[Brady]

I think it's like 28 to 7.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they kicked your ass.

[Brady]

Oh, they killed us. And I'm walking along. I'm feeling icicles in my hair. I. I'm looking at my little brother who's 10 years younger than me. He's got beanie and a gig. He's covered jacket. I go, hey, let me use your bean with. No, I don't want. I'm like. And I end up getting pneumonia. That freaking Christmas. That was. That was my junior year Christmas.

[John Holmberg]

That's El Paso flu is what that is.

[Brady]

Yuck.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, that's a good one. I like that. Bowl games. Dumb. All of them except for two matter. Rose bowl used to matter a lot. And then the championship. Whatever they choose to do. Otherwise, what's the point?

[Brady]

Do you like the playoffs? You're not a college guy.

[John Holmberg]

It's all. It's all so fake. It's all just pick and choose. It's better than it used to be. And they're going the right direction. But it's. It's little league. It's nonsense. You get to go to the Sun Bowl. Oh. You get to go to the Holiday Bowl. Rutgers versus San Diego State. Oh. Can't wait to spend my day not watching that.

[Dale]

Nothing compares.

[Brady]

Yeah, but what about. What about the kids? They get to go see a different part of the country. The players.

[John Holmberg]

What do I care about anybody's kids?

[Brady]

You don't have to watch it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not gonna.

[Brady]

Why are you gonna disdain it?

[John Holmberg]

Because they send them to El Paso and they're ungrateful pricks. We got an entertainment drill coming up next. It's 98.

[Brady]

Arizona's most powerful rock media station.

[John Holmberg]

He said fully erect. Still streaming Hberg's morning sickness [e-mail]. No, no, no. Foo Fighters. We're not. We're not dealing with you right now. That's.

[Brady]

Come on. We got Dale Hulls.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. We gotta. We can't waste this.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

What's the matter? Here's more. Cowboys are 34, 22 and 1 on Thanksgiving. Cardinals are 6, 15 and 2.

[Brady]

That many times on Thanksgiving.

[John Holmberg]

You were 7 and 4. As a player, I think we probably.

[Brady]

Lost from about 90. 97, 98, 99.

[John Holmberg]

The Leon let game to Miami, which everybody remembers. That was a goof. And that was snowing.

[Brady]

That's actually a Super bowl year. So that's 90. 93.

[John Holmberg]

93. Yep. 97. You lost to the Tennessee Oilers. The only year they were called that 98 to Minnesota in 2000.

[Brady]

Yeah, Minnesota. That was in. Randy Moss was a rookie.

[John Holmberg]

They were 15 and one that year. And.

[Brady]

And he caught three passes for about 210 yards and three touchdowns. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right. He just. Everything was a touchdown and they were deep.

[Dale]

Cruise ship week two was.

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if that was it. They went to the. There was. That's the Ms. Field goal. And Atlanta got into the super bowl. That was that year.

[Brady]

Yes. Oh, the guy was perfect though. Or the kicker was perfect all year long. Not I. I can see his face. But he's perfect all year long. And he missed.

[John Holmberg]

Say it's Gary Anderson. Was it? Yeah, it was okay.

[Brady]

Yeah. Yes. God, you are so smart and things that don't matter.

[John Holmberg]

It's so true. I can't even argue that. It is time now for Brady to give you all the entertaining news that he knows. We call it the entertainment drill brought to bear. Friends of react defense stuff. The home of tactical black self defense training. They are celebrating 25 years of being the best in the world at what they do. You don't last in this business for 25 years unless you're really good at it. Look around. Every place that does self defense has a new name or a new person or somebody or a new store. Usually it's a cookie store within like a year of it being a self defense place. 25 years and counting for react defense because they know what they're doing and they will teach you all sorts of great stuff for $89 for a month of training. That's an unbelievable deal. Just give you a little taste of what they've got. All the classes that they have are available to you for that month for 89 bucks. That is their 25th anniversary special and it's yours right [e-mail] the home of tactical black Brady entertainment.

[Brady]

Before Brady goes real quick. We did not address the elephant in the room.

[John Holmberg]

You.

[Brady]

And that's your best friend Kevin Ray's freestyle.

[John Holmberg]

Why kick the man when he's down?

[Brady]

I mean, did you see his left shoulder was dipped down. He didn't even hit the rim.

[John Holmberg]

Why are you doing that?

[Brady]

He didn't even hit the rim. Johnny.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't. He hit the backboard.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

On the side. He was shooting a free throw. And I talked to Kevin. It was before the game on Sunday night. He was distracted that the Bidwills were there at all. He said, I can't believe Michael bidwell was staring at me. They told him about an hour before the game, when you're done with the pretty good game, get out there, you're gonna shoot the free throw so you.

[Brady]

Can stretch out a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

He said, I haven't shot a basketball for years. But that's not true because he was at my house playing.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And he goes, oh, other than that, I'm like, yeah, so you have. And then I didn't really. You guys were giving him so much on the text thread. You guys were killing them. And it was eating him up. The worst part about it was he missed his first free throw really badly and all he's supposed to get is one and he's blaming. Yeah, easy.

[Brady]

The.

[John Holmberg]

That guy that. The puffy haired guy that he's yelling in my face the whole time I'm trying to shoot. His form was terrible. Chambers gave him nothing but heat. Oh. And then the ball bounced right back to him. Because when you throw a ball off a wall hard, it comes back to you. That's what he said.

[Brady]

That's what he did.

[John Holmberg]

And he shot another one and missed again.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Which was really.

[Brady]

Well, it just kind of dawned on me because we say tactical black, you say fights awkward. We. We've all seen him swing a golf.

[John Holmberg]

We're not sure though, that's golfing.

[Brady]

I mean, he. And he looks like such an athlete.

[John Holmberg]

He looks good. Yeah.

[Brady]

For 60 years old, he looks really.

[John Holmberg]

He looks good. For 40 years old. Kevin's in great shape. The hair's incredible. I'm still not convinced that's his.

[Brady]

But athleticism is not his strong suit.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to fight you on this. He's strong. He's strong because I've done trained with him up at react defense.

[Brady]

Well, you said he's awkward, though, and.

[John Holmberg]

There'S a lot of. Of guys who throw awkward angles. He's one of them.

[Brady]

Which can be to your advantage. Right.

[Brett Matthias]

He.

[John Holmberg]

You know what he looks like when he fights Kevin Ray?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know those old video games when it was just a. A stick with a circle in the end. And that was boxing. The way the punches came in. Like weird. Yeah, that he does. He hits hard though.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Dale]

Like a Rockham sock.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Sort of. Like the hands just kind of shoot out of him. Like they, they're not like, there's no. Like, it's. But it comes at you from a weird. And they're angular, like 45 degrees. I was like, okay, this is a little awkward, but it's. Yeah. He's an interesting reader.

[Brady]

He punches hard he shoots hard.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he shoots basketballs harder than he punches.

[Brady]

Yeah, and he hits golf balls harder. They just don't go where he wants.

[John Holmberg]

Look, let's just say this. He's throwing a lot of punches at me, and none of them have hit that basketball. Had he thrown it would have plugged me. I would have dropped like a bat. He throws those hard and accurately at walls. He hits something hard with a basketball, it's very rarely a net. Oh, Kevin. Yeah, I didn't want to bash him. Why did you do this?

[Brady]

I just brought it up.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, Ray, it was. It was terribly embarrassing.

[Brady]

All right. Entertain us.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Go ahead, race.

[Dale]

I just. This is gonna make you giddy for the Thanksgiving weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Dale]

Guy Fury blew out his quad.

[John Holmberg]

Saw that? He fell down the stairs into the mid shoot. Yeah.

[Dale]

He was filming, and he stumbled on some steps and tore his quad. Out for eight weeks in a wheelchair.

[John Holmberg]

Out for eight weeks. You have to taste people's food. You have to be in shape.

[Dale]

You have to wheel around for grocery games.

[John Holmberg]

That's a show that fat people like other people shopping because you're normal.

[Dale]

Twice out that. That. That bash is parked.

[John Holmberg]

People got excited for it. Like Gilbert got excited that Guy Fieri was going to go grocery shopping with cameras.

[Dale]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Did you go to one of them? You showed up at one, didn't you?

[Dale]

I was there all day.

[John Holmberg]

You went to a Guy Fieri going to the grocery store?

[Dale]

No, I went by and I saw him set up there.

[Brady]

There.

[John Holmberg]

And I.

[Dale]

Not shopping today.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you're watching shopping Guy.

[Dale]

If Guy was there.

[John Holmberg]

Guy Fury's a fraud. Go ahead.

[Dale]

Dale's got a great story.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Dale]

Exciting.

[Brady]

You got a bunch of stories there, Brady. What, you're gonna shuffle through?

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead, let him.

[Dale]

You want me to.

[John Holmberg]

This is your thing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dale]

This is the one that AMC is selling in AMC Popcorn Press. Yes. It's a pass. Basically, Cyber Monday. You get half off a large popcorn every day of the week, plus a refill of soda every day for 29.99.

[John Holmberg]

On Cyber Monday.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

$30. You get popcorn forever. Because popcorn costs a penny, isn't it?

[Brett Matthias]

No, it's only for a year, not forever.

[Brady]

And it's freaking. What, $9 medium.

[John Holmberg]

29 for popcorn. If you go to 29 movies, they still make money. It costs like 5 cents for a bucket of popcorn.

[Dale]

It'll start on Cyber Monday, but you can still get in on it after.

[John Holmberg]

That, too, because it's a scam.

[Brady]

All right, well, I got this thing that Brady Gave me. Have no idea. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving Day parade. John. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?

[John Holmberg]

I know it exists.

[Brady]

Yeah, I mean, do you. You over to your.

[Dale]

Do you wake up early in the morning?

[John Holmberg]

I try not to do any.

[Brady]

Is your dad. Mom coming in?

[John Holmberg]

I'm having lunch with my mother today. Mother and my father and the lady has sex with. Are going to be here next week.

[Brady]

Week? That's your stepmom.

[John Holmberg]

All right, if you want to call her stepmom, that's as close as you're gonna get.

[Brady]

Okay?

[John Holmberg]

It's not my mom, Dale.

[Brady]

And he's a. Your dad's a hunter.

[John Holmberg]

I'll show you the picture. Yeah, he clobbered something.

[Brady]

I. I had a buddy at SMU's, my roommate who would kill a deer every Christmas break.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And that was his entire food for the second semester.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no kidding.

[Brady]

I mean, make it into sausage and make it into burgers and make it into whatever, but. But anyway, Thanksgiving, Brady. You enjoy it, right?

[Dale]

Macy's Day Parade.

[Brady]

Okay. Macy's Day Parade's coming up, and it includes Labubu.

[John Holmberg]

The Labubus? They're a fries. That's a gift. Kids like you don't have a Labubu.

[Brady]

I've never heard of a Labubu.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they're going for thousands, right? No, they're like Beanie Bears.

[Brady]

How do you know that?

[John Holmberg]

I know everything, Dale.

[Brady]

Super Mario and Foreigner. There's a total of 34 balloons in the lineup.

[John Holmberg]

The band Foreigners. Okay. I thought they made balloons out of blue. Graham. Foreigners Gonna Float by Lou Graham already.

[Brady]

Made himself a balloon Beagle Scout. Snoopy, Bluey, Minnie Mouse, SpongeBob SquarePants, Spider Man.

[Brett Matthias]

Told you two day week would have been great.

[John Holmberg]

Do you know any of these? Yes. This is it. I don't know.

[Brady]

Include Sesame Street Camp, Snoopy Door men naming balloons. Laura, don't tell me you haven't watched.

[Brett Matthias]

I'm leaving with Frank, and they're leaving right now. I'm walking out the door.

[Brady]

And then performers include Cynthia Ario.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know anything. Wow.

[Brady]

Little John.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know Little John?

[Brady]

I. I've heard that name. The singing voices of Huntrix.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know that one.

[Brady]

I think she's K Pop Demon.

[John Holmberg]

Did you call it Kapop? That's where we end today. Let's go. I'm with Brad Works.

[Dale]

Great coverage, Dale.

[John Holmberg]

Do you get up early on Thanksgiving and help out?

[Brady]

No, I stay out of the way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, smart.

[Brady]

I might go in some golf balls.

[John Holmberg]

That's even smarter. Good thinking, Dale. Enjoy your Thanksgiving.

[Brady]

You too.

[John Holmberg]

I'll try. All you boys do the same. John G. You enjoy yours. Just keep tuning up for next Tuesday. Yeah. And let's screw up our bets and have a lovely time. Everybody out there, happy Thanksgiving as well. And I got an email from a guy right before named Thomas Gower says give your listeners and animals extra love and cookies today. We had to put down our boxer this morning, God damn it. Two massive seats, seizures. So we had to do what the hardest thing in the world to do. So please give some love to your pups and absolutely, by all means, a couple cookies to your dog. Even Dale for Thomas Gower and his dog. And this is. That's a tough time to lose one. I've done that before on Thanksgiving. It sucks. We're done. Larry's next. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. See you Monday. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station, he said fully erected. VRBO's last minute deals make chasing fresh mountain powder incredibly easy. With thousands of homes close to the slopes, you can get epic pow freshies, first tracks and more. Find last minute deals with the last minute filter on the app. Book a private vacation rental [e-mail] this holiday, discover meaningful gifts for everyone on your list at K. Not sure where to start. Our jewelry experts are here to help you find or create the perfect gift in store or online. Book your appointment today and unwrap love this season only at K.