Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona (98KUPD)

Episode: 11-26-25 – FULL SHOW – WEDNESDAY
Date: November 26, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Main Theme / Episode Overview

This pre-Thanksgiving episode of “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness” unfolds as a wide-ranging, hilarious, and sometimes dark discussion about holiday travel, the societal expectations surrounding Thanksgiving, insane science documentaries, weird animal trends, football traditions, and the familiar chaos of family gatherings. The crew mixes pointed observations about Arizona’s sports franchises with musings on science, pop culture, and their own dysfunctional holiday plans, keeping the banter quick, irreverent, and loaded with wild tangents and inside jokes.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Thanksgiving Travel & Holiday Avoidance

• Travel Sucks: John laments the annual nightmare of traveling for Thanksgiving, emphasizing the misery of airports, cold weather, and the false “necessity” of being with family on Thanksgiving.
  • “There’s no possible way it’s worth some food and a few minutes with your family to go 472 miles to fly back to... just bless cold, 35 degrees. No thank you.” – John Holmberg (05:00)
• Alternative Traditions: John prefers a quiet holiday alone, binging on “Kennedy documentaries all weekend... some football tomorrow and... halfway through 'Hitler’s DNA: Blueprint of a Dictator'” (04:38)

2. “Hitler’s DNA: Blueprint of a Dictator” & Polygenics

• Weird Science Doc: John shares the bizarre BBC documentary exploring the supposed genetic roots of Hitler’s behavior, including claims about his anatomy and polygenics.
  • “They’re pretty sure we found out he’s got a micro dick. And then they just go into that...” (08:10)
• Nature vs. Nurture: The crew discusses DNA, behavioral genetics, polygenics, and eugenics implications.
  • “In the next 10 years... they can assess your DNA and start to manipulate it before the baby’s born...” (11:29)
  • “If you have a micro penis, you have to be the Michael Jordan of cunnilingus. That is a fact.” – John Holmberg (13:38)
• Comedy Tangents: Micropenis jokes lead to musings about historical despots and neurodivergence, eugenics, etc.

3. Gay Sheep & the “Rainbow Wool” Trend

• Absurd Fad: The show covers a real story about “gay sheep wool” fetching premium prices because of claims that it’s ethically or culturally significant.
  • “...putting [rams] on a farm altogether, like some sort of weird sheep gay bar, and they’re letting them hammer ram each other...” – John Holmberg (22:33)
• Pop Culture Tie-Ins: Celebs like Taylor Swift and Cher are name-dropped as supporters of this trend.
• Skepticism & Satire:
  • “If I was gay, I’d be like, all right, that’s enough. We’re not animals. This isn’t...You know.” – John (24:53)
  • “If you’re paying $400 more for a gay sweater, I better see video of that sex happening.” – John (24:53)

4. Holiday Food, Gatherings, & Social Rituals

• Hosts’ Thanksgiving Dynamics: The cast shares their party plans, from hobo Thanksgivings with random friends to huge family-style feasts with unpredictable guests.
  • “Thanksgiving last year, I think it was 30 and change. You’re telling me, oh, Brett Matthias invites the entire city of Mesa.” (40:01)
• Gripes About Social Obligations: John airs his distaste for forced togetherness, the scramble to prepare, and the “shoehorned” nature of the holidays.
  • “I don’t get the food holiday. I get the getting together, but I just don’t get the scramble. It drives me nuts.” (43:11)
• Family Fights: Wry tales of storm-outs, fistfights, and post-feast walks to escape drunk relatives.
  • “Have you ever had punches thrown at Thanksgiving?” (50:17)
• Thanksgiving in America – The Outsider’s View: Restaurants, casinos, and Black Friday work as escape valves for those wary of family drama or kitchen chaos.

5. Sports & Arizona Cardinals Ownership Controversy

• Michael Bidwill Scandal: Hot local sports talk—Holmberg reveals the Cardinals owner was seen at the Suns game before his own team’s game had even finished, a “horrible look” that no media outlet has covered.
  • “Tell me what happens to Jerry Jones in Dallas if he’s not at the end of the game. Are you kidding me? He’d be vilified.” – Dale (142:14)
• Season Ticket Price Gouging: Reports of 40–45% increases in Cardinals’ season ticket prices, despite team underperformance.
  • “That’s $50 increase a ticket, which is 40 plus percent. And they want the full payment by December 15th.” – Brady (144:20)
• Arizona’s Soft Media & Sports Culture: The crew rails against local sportswriters and radio for not holding team owners accountable—unlike East Coast cities.
  • “The biggest announcement for me is that... it’s completely irrelevant.” – John (149:41)

6. Oddities & Social Trends

• Alone Drinking & Apps: Discussion of a bar banning solo drinkers for liability, and the pitch for a “Drinking Buddy” app for those who prefer solitude in company.
  • “I want to start the app 'Drinking Buddy.' You drink alone, I drink alone. We hook up...” – John (110:50)
• Ultra-Sonic Chinese Airplane: Marveling at technological leaps—China’s Mach 16 plane can circle the globe in seven hours.
  • “Think about how great that is... it’s the greatest time to be alive.” – John (124:29)

7. Gross-Out & Shock Humor (Radio Videos)

• Classic Morning Sickness: The show’s notorious for its “radio videos”—grotesque, shocking, and sometimes sexual viral clips accompanied by graphic audio descriptions and laughter.
  • Features included a woman urinating on a car (“hillbilly car wash”), can of Raid as a sex toy, and the infamous “Fruit Loops butt” video.
  • “Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Enjoy your meal, everyone.” – John (after gross-out bit) (107:12)

8. Band Contest & Local Music

• Theme Song Competition: The show discusses its annual contest for a new theme song—a local truck driver and singer “DJ Bathsheba, the Alchemist” wows the crew with her voice.
  • “Listen to this woman’s voice. Angel.” – John (134:16)

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On holiday travel:
  “Which is the smart thing to do... Looking at weather and stuff, there’s no possible way it’s worth some food and a few minutes with your family to go 472 miles...” – John Holmberg (03:56)

• On polygenics/Hitler:
  “They’re pretty sure we found out he’s got a micro dick. And then they just go into that... the almost the whole documentary is like, this was it.” – John Holmberg (08:10)

• On designer babies:
  “They think that in the next 10 years, probably they can assess your DNA and start to manipulate it before the baby’s born...” – John Holmberg (11:29)

• On gay sheep wool:
  “He’s taking out the rams that aren’t interested in lady sheep, putting them on a farm altogether, like some sort of weird sheep gay bar...” – John Holmberg (22:33)

• On forced Thanksgiving:
  “I feel like it’s forced on us. I guess that’s my thing about Thanksgiving. I feel like it’s all forced. You have to do this.” – John Holmberg (43:11)

• On Arizona media:
  “The media plays a massive part of that. They are not tough on the Cardinals... they’ve been prodded, ‘Oh you suck,’ but never feet to the fire.” – John Holmberg (141:00)

• On alone drinking ban:
  “I want to start the app, Drinking Buddy... It’s for people who don’t want to talk to you. You just... go in together and sit near each other, just like we would if we were drinking alone.” – John Holmberg (110:50)

• On the new Chinese jet:
  “Think about how great that is. We don’t even marvel at human achievement anymore... It will happen in our lifetime.” – John Holmberg (123:03)

• Sports—on Bidwill:
  “Tell me what happens to Jerry Jones... if he’s not at the end of the game. Are you kidding me? He would be vilified.” – Dale (142:14)

• Gross-out moment:
  “And then we go right to sex, and there’s Froot Loops everywhere. They come shooting out of there like a Fruit Loops fountain...” – John Holmberg (107:11)

Notable Segments & Timestamps

• Thanksgiving Travel & Complaints: 04:00–05:30
• Hitler’s DNA Documentary & Polygenics: 06:00–15:00
• Gay Sheep, Rainbow Wool, and Cynicism: 20:00–32:00
• Family Gatherings & Holiday Gripes: 39:00–50:00
• Family Fights & Fallout: 50:00–55:00
• Bidwill/Sports Media Critique: 140:00–153:20
• Absurd Food/Sexual Radio Videos: 105:00–108:00
• Theme Song Contest/DJ Bathsheba: 134:00–135:12
• Chinese Supersonic Airplane Segment: 115:00–130:00

Tone and Style

The show’s tone is fast, sharp, and irreverent—loaded with sarcasm, dark humor, and the unfiltered thoughts of degenerate “uncles around the breakfast table.” Riffs are punctuated by quick-hit anecdotes, vivid analogies, and tangents that range from scientific speculation to childish giggles about genitalia and bodily functions.

Conclusion

This packed, two-hour Thanksgiving Eve episode delivers all the humor, skepticism, and Arizona-centric satire that have made Holmberg’s Morning Sickness a staple for listeners in the Valley. Whether cracking jokes about Hitler’s DNA and gay sheep, lamenting the enduring sadness of Arizona sports franchises, or describing family dysfunction in detail, the crew keeps the energy high and the conversation brutally, hilariously honest.