11-26-25 - Holmberg's Not A Fan Of Thanksgiving For Family Purposes And All The Dodging That Happens - John's Dad Nabbed A Huge Elk In TX And Is Bringing A Load Of Meat To Him That He Doesn't Want

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Holmberg's Not A Fan Of Thanksgiving"

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Date: November 26, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Crew: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, Byron, Larry McFeely, Megan
Episode Focus: Holmberg's skepticism about Thanksgiving traditions, dodging family obligations, awkward gatherings, and the saga of his father delivering massive quantities of elk meat from Texas.

---

Main Theme

This episode is a sharp, comedic exploration of why Thanksgiving is often more stressful than joyful, especially when it comes to forced family time and the chaos of holiday hosting. John Holmberg and the crew swap stories about awkward family dynamics, dodging unwelcome guests, and the hilarious problem of inheriting too much wild game meat from life-long hunters.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Forced Nature of Thanksgiving (07:35–09:00, 22:44–23:27)

• Holmberg's Core Complaint:
  He finds Thanksgiving to be a "forced" holiday, resenting the expectation to gather just because of tradition—"I feel like it's all forced. You have to do this. You have to do—I’m like, no, why don’t we just do this when we want to spend time together?" (07:35)
• Personal Solution:
  “I’m dodging it all. Thanksgiving’s… I get just people. I’ve been to three where it’s just like, nobody’s happy. Everybody’s just wanting to go home.” (09:00)
• Holmberg prefers casual, unregimented gatherings:
  “I don’t like shoehorn things. That’s a personal thing. I need to get over it, truthfully. But I don’t like the ‘today’s the day’ we do this.” (22:44)

---

Holiday Hosting Disasters & Dodging Family

(03:29–06:07, 07:21–08:16)

• Brett’s Hobo Thanksgiving:
  Bret hosts huge informal Thanksgivings with “30 and change” people—"Invites the entire city of Mesa!" (04:30)
  Guests are mostly couples or those avoiding their in-laws.
  On crashing out: "One year we had five people crashed out…" (05:05)

• The Anatomy of an Overstayer:
  "I don’t think there’s any worse noise than when you’re ready to close up your house, and you hear… one dude’s in the corner, just cracked open another one—like, oh, Christ." (05:30)

• Who’s Invited?
  Class counts: "You gotta have class. I could find a couple people in your house tomorrow without class." (04:44)
  On not being invited back: "Anyone who just eats and bails? They won’t be invited back." (06:17)

---

Gender Roles & Old-School Family Dynamics

(06:19–07:07)

• Brett’s Mom Laying Down the Law:
  "'Hey, you, get your ass in the kitchen.'…Broad not doing Broadway…That is 100% true." (06:29–06:36)
  The guys reminisce about the 'Mad Men'-era vibe in some households.

---

Holiday Stress, Prep, and the Problem with Over-Planning

(07:21–09:00, 20:21–20:55)

• Universal Experience:
  “Leading up to it sucks… gotta get everything straightened out.” (08:11, Brett)
• Food Doubts:
  “We’re not going to have enough!” becomes “We had more than enough.” (20:21–20:55, Brett & John)

---

The Demise of the “Turkey Bowl” & Changing Traditions

(09:41–10:50)

• Nostalgia & Cultural Changes:
  Fewer families play the traditional football game; now it’s "Mexican soccer" at the park, with existing “turkey bowls” being almost chaotic—“60 on 60…soft generation can’t take a punch without getting a concussion.” (10:17–10:50, John)
• Societal Critique:
  "You can't throw a real hard football at him. What if it hits Braden in the face? He’ll get a concussion and he'll never know math." (10:41, John)

---

Ways to Actually Enjoy Thanksgiving: Alternative Traditions

(17:27–19:38)

• Escaping the Kitchen:
  Byron: “One of the largest pizza ordering nights.” (17:27)
• Restaurants & Buffets:
  Megan recommends Casino Arizona’s buffet: “No cleanup.” (17:36)
  John’s experience: “That’s where Jehovah’s Witnesses go. The weirdest group of people I’ve ever been around.” (17:49–18:03)
  On eating out: “If I go anywhere, it’ll be a restaurant. Not gonna do anything in that.” (14:20)

---

Holiday Drama – Storm Outs and Brawls

(15:55–17:17)

• Physical altercations:
  "Brady's the only one that's got a physical altercation" at Thanksgiving. (15:59–16:01)
• Classic storm outs:
  "Brother-in-law slammed his beer on the table and walked out." (16:03, Megan)
  John: “You’ve ruined another wonderful day!” (16:22)

---

Exploring the Saga of “The Elk Meat”

(24:18–37:19, Highlights at 24:18, 27:05, 30:08, 33:03)

• John’s Dad the Hunter:
  “Dan’s in Texas killing stuff. He killed an elk the other day… this gigantic elk he killed.” (24:18)
• Meat Logistics:
  “My dad… texted—We're coming out December 5th. I'll also be bringing a massive cooler of [elk].” (27:07)
  • “He’s making room for all the elk he didn’t eat from the last one he killed for the new elk meat to fill its space…like some lunatic.” (30:08)
  • “He’s got to get rid of hundreds of pounds of meat. You want half of it? Are you crazy?” (31:24)
• Freezer Overload:
  “How many freezers does he have? Hundreds. And I know I’m gonna inherit nine freezers.” (27:09)
• Elk Meat Taste Test:
  “Is elk meat good? — No…it’s not as good…it’s good, but you’d rather have a steak.” (33:03)
  John: "You have to…make it taste like a steak. There's so much preparation to make it not taste like a gamey outdoor animal." (33:12–33:23)

---

On Inheriting Animal Trophies and Heads

(40:11–42:18, 43:10–44:16)

• Trophy Dilemma:
  “What are you gonna do with all those heads when you die? Oh, don’t you want them? I’m gonna ask you again, and don’t ask that back.” (40:22)
• On Display:
  “It’s clutter now. It used to be an impressive beast when it had a body attached to it. Now it’s just the severed head sitting where a coffee table should be.” (41:31–42:13, John)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Thanksgiving Pressure:
  “Why can’t I have dinner with these people on a normal night and call it the same thing? …We’re so regimented into this sheep-get-in-line kind of thing.” —John Holmberg (22:44, 23:27)
• On Overstaying Guests:
  “I don’t think there’s any worse noise than…that one dude’s in the corner, just cracked open another one—like, oh, Christ.” —John Holmberg (05:30)
• On Hosting Chaos:
  “How many are coming?” “I think Christmas we had 40-something. Thanksgiving last year, I think it was 30 and change.” —Brett Vesely (04:25)
• On Gender Roles:
  “Hey you, get your ass in the kitchen …my mom, she mad because there was one broad that just happened, and the rest…are in the kitchen.” —Brett Vesely (06:29–06:51)
• On Turkey Bowls:
  “Turkey bowls used to be the best. They are dead and gone because a soft generation can’t take a punch without getting a concussion.” —John Holmberg (10:28, 10:50)
• On the Great Elk Delivery:
  “I know I’m gonna inherit nine freezers. I’ll put an order for you. Don’t worry about it. It’s coming whether I ask or not.” —John Holmberg (27:09) “He’s got to get rid of hundreds of pounds of meat. A killing elk, you want half of it? Are you crazy?” (31:24) “I don’t want a freezer either.” (39:41)
• On Raw Meat:
  “The other day, I had a steak. I didn’t even cook it. I just opened the package and I ate it.” —John Holmberg (37:12)

---

Timestamps for Noteworthy Segments

• Thanksgiving Is Forced & Overrated: 07:35–09:00, 22:44–23:27
• Hosting Nightmares: 04:25–06:07
• Guest Etiquette & Overstaying: 05:30–06:02
• Old-School Family Gender Dynamics: 06:29–07:07
• Turkey Bowl & Tradition Demise: 09:41–10:50
• Escaping via Restaurants/Buffets/Casino: 17:27–19:38
• Family Drama: Fights & Storm Outs: 15:55–17:17
• John’s Dad, Elk Hunter: 24:18, 27:05, 30:08, 33:03, 40:11
• Freezer Full of Meat & Elk Head Problem: 27:09–32:41, 40:11–42:18

---

Conclusion

This episode is a witty and slightly acerbic take on Thanksgiving as a holiday many merely endure—highlighting the awkwardness, forced sentimentality, and logistical absurdities underpinning family get-togethers. John Holmberg’s stories about dodging family obligations and being the unwilling recipient of giant coolers of wild elk meat add a unique (and hilarious) flavor to a classic American ritual.

Tone & Style

Direct, irreverent, and relentlessly self-aware—Holmberg’s perspective keeps the show edgy but always relatable, with an emphasis on poking fun at obligatory traditions and family quirks.

---

For future episodes, tune in to hear the fate of the elk meat, more family drama, and reliably cynical advice on surviving the holidays!

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone.

[John Holmberg]

Who can't legally own one.

[Larry McFeely]

Tell him not to put himself at.

[John Holmberg]

Risk and come into M and P.

[Byron]

Guns where he'll get a fair offer.

[John Holmberg]

And he can rest easy knowing it's.

[Byron]

Not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[John Holmberg]

Easy. LegalGunbuyer do and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[Larry McFeely]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely. And if you live in Arizona, you already know this state was built for Toyota. Whether you're chasing the sunrise up in Sedona, cruising through downtown Phoenix, or my favorite, camping in the forest, there's a Toyota that fits your kind of adventure. The Tacoma and Tundra are rugged and reliable for desert trails. The Camry is smooth, efficient, and perfect for your daily drive. And the four Runner is Arizona's off road legend. Wherever the Arizona road takes you, make sure you're driving a Toyota. Visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com toyota let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Ah, thank you, Miles to nowhere. What a wonderful year it's been with them at the helm doing our theme song. And we'll find out who our new theme song is written by next Tuesday. We're going to do it last night, but none of the bands in Playo were able to actually make it. At least you know, we we'd have gone down to what, like Jesus, it would have been seven. Seven through 12 would have been like, that's no good cuz then you got a lot of this going on.

[Brett Vesely]

He said he was going to win.

[John Holmberg]

So he did say he's going to win, but maybe rigged the contest and all the rest of them are fake. But yeah. So we may be might have a.

[Byron]

New single out by now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, he could. Well, I mean he could do it in his car on his way to work and evidently that's good enough for production. And then of course, Rob Menino was drilled into everyone's heads for a little while yesterday. And I was struggling yesterday not to just occasionally. And I forgot I was in the car. And I just. For some reason in my head Romanino, like, it just came out like it was singing a song like an earworm. Like, oh, my God, I'm singing the man's name and not even realizing I'm doing it at this point. Playdoh was fun this year, so hopefully we all move on to next Tuesday and crown a champion rather than haphazardly shoehorn in a show last night with people whoever could make it. That's dumb. And so now we're going to have one hell of a show next Tuesday for free down at Copper Blues in downtown, which I think is a much better way to do it. So. And everybody scrambled, thanks to the club. Larry got everything right, did everything. Toledo did some reorganizing. We got all the bands in. It's gonna be a fun show. And then they have to write our theme song, which is even better.

[Brett Vesely]

I want that guy to write it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna jump through your microphone and just strangled you. This dude. If we have any plan, it gets weirder.

[Brett Vesely]

Remember people on the 10 just driving into the medians.

[John Holmberg]

It is. It's Stewart from Mad TV back in the 90s. Because it's exactly that. Thanksgiving is here. You're staying in town?

[Byron]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Just a short family thing. You have people coming over you're going to do. No, just the three. Now. That's beautiful. You have a hobo Thanksgiving every year.

[Brett Vesely]

So many people.

[John Holmberg]

And you do it for people who, like, you become their family.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like, it's not. Is it solos? Are there some solos coming or is it all.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, there's a couple, but it's. It's mostly. Mostly couples. And you know, some of them that I don't want to go to my.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

In law's house. I want to go to, you know, like, it's that kind of thing.

[John Holmberg]

Recently divorced.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm at the end of the day. No. No reason. This is kind of. The base crew has been doing this for the last 10, 15 years, so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. And say it again. Last year you threw a number at me and I almost threw up. How many are coming?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't. She never takes. I'm like, can we get a count? So I know we have enough chairs or something. Oh, I don't know. And so I think Christmas, we had 40 something.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

Thanksgiving last year, I think it was 30 and change. You're telling me.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Brett Mathias.

[Brett Vesely]

Invites the entire city of Mesa.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. And is there any criteria on who gets an invite? Yeah, like, is it somebody at the bar, like, for the holiday?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, hell no.

[John Holmberg]

Some guy with a trunk. Now you gotta have class. Yeah. I mean, come on. I would venture to guess I could find a couple people in your house tomorrow without class.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah, definitely. And especially after dinner, after a few cocktails.

[John Holmberg]

How do you move them out?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, now we got the new house, the new. The new property. Yeah. We got the space, so.

[John Holmberg]

So they just stay there.

[Brett Vesely]

What, like, overnight? Yeah, we've had a few. I think one year we had five people crashed out on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, I get the crash out. Can you? Like, how do you start? Okay, let's mop her up here.

[Brett Vesely]

Usually they do it themselves. It hasn't been an issue.

[John Holmberg]

That's good.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

40 adults. That's the problem. Adults sometimes just don't know when to leave.

[Byron]

But it's.

[Brett Vesely]

It's the guys, you know, Everybody separates, too.

[John Holmberg]

All the chicks.

[Brett Vesely]

The guys are out back going, oh, God.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think there's any worse noise than when you're ready to close up your house. And you hear, see that one dude's in the corner, just cracked open another one like, oh, cry.

[Byron]

Anyone getting it on?

[Brett Vesely]

There's a solo cup, man.

[John Holmberg]

Do you know you're the only one here? I can't ever imagine being the guy who is the only one left. Like, I'm the last thing that wouldn't leave. Yeah, it's the. Like, you didn't see everyone else leave and you think that. Then did you just solo crack open another one?

[Brett Vesely]

Better chug it, bro. It's over the door.

[John Holmberg]

Over your last.

[Byron]

Is there one that stands out more so than anyone that does a person Nothing. Yeah, like, don't even offer to help. Don't even offer.

[John Holmberg]

Do you have anybody coming over that's going to just eat and leave and not.

[Brett Vesely]

No, because they won't be invited back.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly.

[Brett Vesely]

I remember one time at my mom's house because we'd invite some friends over, and this guy. This guy brought his girlfriend over. My mom comes out of the kitchen while they're all doing the dishes and stuff. She goes, hey, you, get your ass in the kitchen.

[John Holmberg]

Who, me?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah. She was pissed because there was a.

[John Holmberg]

Broad not doing Broadway. Oh, God.

[Brett Vesely]

Italian. That is 100% true.

[John Holmberg]

Not a lot better than an Italian.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, we're all sitting there like Al Bundy with our.

[John Holmberg]

Ooh, of course. Man, that was good. The men had provided the meal. Now clean it up.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my mom, she mad because there.

[John Holmberg]

Was one broad that just happened, and.

[Brett Vesely]

The rest, all the other broads are in the kitchen. And she's just like you.

[John Holmberg]

Let's go. You don't even realize it when you walk through Brett's door. You're in a time machine. Incredible. It's like going back in Mad Men, which I love.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I've been watching username. It was just you.

[John Holmberg]

You get up. You already ate way too much. You're getting sick in the middle. Oh, my God. Yeah, I wish I could have seen that.

[Byron]

Even going into work today.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, she has to go in for a little while.

[John Holmberg]

So how long is your preparation period? You gotta start the second get home today.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, we're still, like, we had so much stuff, you know, with my dad being, you know, sick for so long. Everything's just falling to the wayside, the house. So now it's just been a mad scramble, like getting the house straightened out, putting stuff, you know, it's just been a nightmare.

[John Holmberg]

So I'm uncomfortable talking about it. I'm getting anxiety, and I'm going to eat a pot belly sub, which I will get today to be super prepared. It's ahead of the way Ahead. The bet. I don't get the food holiday. I get the getting together and stuff, but I just don't get to scramble. It drives me like. I feel like it's forced on us. I guess that's my thing about Thanksgiving is I feel like it's all forced. You have to do this. You have to do. I'm like, no, why don't we just do this when we want to spend time together? Let's just have a party someday rather than, oh, it's Thanksgiving. You gotta do it. It's like, okay, I love it, but.

[Brett Vesely]

It'S like leading up to it sucks.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's horrible.

[Brett Vesely]

It's like, you know, gotta get everything straightened out.

[John Holmberg]

It's weird even for the three.

[Byron]

I picked up a couple of things yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're not doing any weird stuff, like in the ground stuff?

[Byron]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

Dirt turkey.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're not doing zombie turkeys again, are you?

[Byron]

No.

[John Holmberg]

What's the weirdest thing you got going on? You got something weird?

[Byron]

Nothing doing. Trying something new. I'm picking up an apple pie today from the Miracle Mile deli.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're saying you're trying a new place? Yeah, but an apple pie is clearly not any risk.

[Byron]

Yeah. I got you.

[John Holmberg]

Consider that risky cocktail. That if we're gonna do some steaks, Miracle Mile is not up to snuff on the apple.

[Byron]

No, no. They're good bakery items, so I've never.

[Larry McFeely]

Had their apple pie.

[John Holmberg]

That's not much of a risk. That's pretty good, though. Yeah, that's simple. Top dollar stuff. Little apple pie, bike ride, maybe. Yeah, Yeah. I. I'm dodging it all. Thanksgiving's a. I get just people. I've been to three where it's just like, nobody's happy. It's like everybody's just wanting to go home. And I'm like, why do we do this? Like, you had. You felt like. And you feel like you got to get ready. You can't just go to a normal place, like a restaurant. You already put clothes on. And ours is just casual. Yeah, that's just casual.

[Brett Vesely]

Just everybody show up, bring with your drinking, and let's just do this, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, put a button up shirt. It's like, that's my nightmare.

[Byron]

You got, you know, three football games or stuff going on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And tomorrow's was a Packers Lions, and my buddy's a big Lions fan and the wife's a Packers fan, so they're going to fight. Oh, yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

It's gonna be great.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Mine's gonna be super quiet here.

[Byron]

Much anymore of Thanksgiving football games that used to happen.

[John Holmberg]

Last year, I went by a park to see if it was still a thing. You know, it was soccer. Mexican soccer was happening at the park. Yeah. Well, no, it wasn't my neighborhood. Please. I was gonna say, I mean, would.

[Brett Vesely]

You go Maryvale or what?

[Byron]

What is this our neighborhood?

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, look at that. There's no football games. I'm like, well, technically there's football, but it's like, not. Yeah, there's no turkey bowl.

[Byron]

There's one in our neighborhood every year, but it's ridiculous. Like 60 on 60.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. There's no cuts. That's the problem I had with Mormon.

[Brett Vesely]

Ward 2 against Mormon Ward 4, and.

[John Holmberg]

They'Re just like, who cares? We need 40 wide receivers and just throw it, and everybody tackles each other. And now turkey bowls used to be the best. They are dead and gone. Because a soft generation can't take a punch without getting a concussion, so they don't even allow him to play Nerf football. Can't throw a real hard football, Adam. What if it hits Braden in the face? He'll get a concussion and he'll never know mass.

[Megan]

Well, you've got five doctors in the ward. I'm sure you can find one of them.

[John Holmberg]

60 on 60. One of them is going to be all right.

[Brett Vesely]

30 dentists, you know.

[Megan]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Dermatologist. You're not going to lose a tooth. They'll get that thing right back in there in the mormon wards. But, yeah, I found the park wasn't granada. It wasn't the one by my house. Although I bet you that had some soccer, too.

[Brett Vesely]

That busting them in or what?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know, they find big park spread. It's just like for halloween where all.

[Brett Vesely]

Of a sudden they just bust them in for.

[John Holmberg]

You go to a decent neighborhood and you find a big piece of grasshood. We're going to have thanksgiving with them. Pigeon john, can we use your park? I don't care. Not going to be close to. Watch out for the joes. They might play softball. What's going on? We've been infiltrated by the browns. I didn't realize the browns were actually browns. We're looking to play a little softball here. If you could move this back south. We're not going south. Of course not. They're not ice. Don't worry. But I don't know what's gonna happen. But there aren't any turkey bowls. You don't see anybody's. That used to be a hap. A have to happen. Yeah, we keep it real cool. Thanksgiving is maybe a dinner. Like, go out for it. But I don't. There's no cleanup. There's no. And then if you want to go out with the family later. That's the thing that makes me realize that you. A lot of people don't really want to be with their families. They only force it in there on thanksgiving. It's like, why don't you just go take them out to dinner next Friday? Are you crazy? My mother, she'll go nuts. Like, okay. They have been at our dinner table.

[Byron]

Packs after dinner afternoon. It's always walking. There's like, oh, random groups because they.

[John Holmberg]

Got to get away from people. There's too much going on in the brady. That's healthy.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's really good to have.

[Byron]

Funny, it's how many there are out there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. How many healthy people there are. Yeah. That is kind of a thing. Hear the words you say sometimes.

[Megan]

I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98 KU PD.

[Larry McFeely]

Listen up, Arizona. It's Larry McFeely and toyota thon is on. If you've been thinking about a new ride before the holidays, this is the perfect time to make it happen. Toyota's got you guys covered. While you're hauling gifts throughout the valley in your brand new Toyota Tundra Tacoma 4Runner or Camry Toyotas are built for Arizona life. Tough enough for the trails, comfortable enough for road trips, and always right for your daily drive. Plus, with ToyotaCare, no cost, maintenance and roadside assistance, your new Toyota is the gift that keeps giving. Visit your valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com toyota let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Boy, that team at Doug Hopkins office is amazing. Not only will Doug Hopkins buy your home for cash as is and get that deal done lickety split, his team is unbelievable. So if you've got a place that needs a ton of work, Doug will help you out by making that cash offer as is. Or he'll list your place if it's already perfect. All you have to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing Hopkins 1-800-sale now. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. But yeah, taking a walk after a big meal is it. But it's also, let's be honest, an escape from that room. Most of the time it's to talk about how drunk one of your aunts is.

[Megan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus, she's gonna throw a punch this year. I can feel it.

[Brett Vesely]

And bars get busy on Thanksgiving too.

[John Holmberg]

Crazy.

[Brett Vesely]

You know, they all open at 3, 4 in the afternoon.

[Byron]

Tonight's the crazy night.

[John Holmberg]

Well, tonight's the 99, but I remember working on at Tony Roma's on Thanksgiving thinking, who the hell's. And that place was packed.

[Megan]

Same, same thing.

[John Holmberg]

I was blown away. And I'm going, if I go anywhere, it'll be a restaurant. Not gonna do anything. Anything in that.

[Megan]

And there was a wait. Like, people wouldn't call ahead to see. There was a wait at Black Angus to get in on Thanksgiving. You come with your family.

[John Holmberg]

We had two hours. We had two hours. We had to do a special that was off menu. Like, to keep up turkey. Oh, I remember Tony Roma's was insane. Like, go, go, go. It was hours, and people just kept flooding in. I'm like, what is happening? I thought everybody stayed home, one thing. But then you realize you're one of like five places that's open. So, yeah, if I go anywhere, it's a restaurant. I don't want a big messy thing. We've done that. You do the thing at home and people came over and you're just staring and you can't help it. You know what? I think it would work better if you were gay. Because if you have a wife like your mom, at the end of the night, she's gonna be mad at one of the other women for some reason or another. I remember one year Megan was angry because her sister. I don't know who those people were. They brought. I think it was in laws of some sort from other distant. Yeah. She goes. And we had to entertain them the whole time. Oh, it's our house. Well, I don't know why they didn't do anything. They sat outside the whole time. Right. Well, they're just enjoying their evening. She could have gone over there and made those people more comfortable. I felt like we had them. Look, now it's kind of our responsibility. It's our house a little bit.

[Byron]

Meow.

[John Holmberg]

And it was like, no, you just want to be mad at a woman. I understand. That's a. You spend four hours with woman. Yeah. You had to have some of that because I was just like, let's just get out of here.

[Megan]

Is Brady still the only one with punches thrown? I never had that in one of ours.

[John Holmberg]

I had a storm out once. Brady's the only one that's got a physical altercation.

[Megan]

Oh, I had a storm out.

[John Holmberg]

We've had storm.

[Megan]

Brother in law got up and slammed his beer on the table and walked out because we were. I don't remember what we're talking about, but politics. Yeah, something like that.

[John Holmberg]

Megan's sister stormed out of El Charo angry at the family because her son was talking to a waiter about being a Patriots fan. And the waiter was a Seahawks fan and I was a Steelers fan. We were making fun of Patriots fans for being miserable cheaters. And he started getting a little loud. And then that triggered something from before that we didn't even know what was going on. And those two started to go at it. And the next thing she knows, you've ruined another wonderful day. And then slammed something down and walked out. And I'm like, Bill just now got here. That's kind of a scam. I think they did this on purpose.

[Larry McFeely]

At least.

[Brett Vesely]

Alligator arms. I mean, storming out, making a scene.

[John Holmberg]

You know, in fairness, she did pay. Like, she kicked in, but it was like, that was. I see what's going on here.

[Byron]

At least our throwdown was at the end of the night. I mean, it tends to be a.

[John Holmberg]

Time tonight, everybody build. It's a build right where there's blood. Thanksgiving.

[Byron]

It was a build.

[Megan]

You'd prefer it if it was right when they walk in the door and then you, you know, more Food for everybody.

[John Holmberg]

Wouldn't it be great if it was like a wrestling walk in, waiting. The music starts and then the aunt, the door swings open and she just goes and kicks the living be Jesus out of whoever she's been mad at all year.

[Megan]

12 months for this.

[John Holmberg]

All year she's been staring you down. And today's the day we're in a room together. I'm taking down Aunt Hattie. I've had it. That has been all over me. But thanks.

[Byron]

Another wild fun fact is tonight is one of the largest pizza ordering nights.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because people don't want to do any work today.

[Megan]

John, I know you'll disagree with this, but my family did this for four years straight. Went straight to Casino Arizona, hit the buffet. It was awesome. Full spread, simple, good. And no cleanup.

[John Holmberg]

Here's my problem with that. And I don't have a problem with that. But here's my one problem with that. One year I did that and I discovered that that's like where Jehovah's Witnesses go. Really? Like the weirdest group of people I've ever been around.

[Megan]

Can you. How can you identify.

[John Holmberg]

I just know.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can spot them.

[Megan]

They don't talk to you at the buffet?

[John Holmberg]

Those alien eyes looking around.

[Brett Vesely]

They're all unhappy pamphlets on their table.

[John Holmberg]

And that was the crazy thing. None of them were playing games. They were there for the food, but they weren't Turkey day and they weren't celebrating a thing. Weirdos looking around at each other like. But they're not allowed to have any of the turkey because that means they're celebrating Thanksgiving. But if they do, they have to make up a lie in their head. So they're constantly scheming. It's. It looks like a bunch of criminals before they commit the crime, just looking around, like, fighting at that turkey. Then I'm kind of celebrating Thanksgiving, so I got to come over this.

[Megan]

So take the beef option.

[John Holmberg]

No. They internally lie to themselves that they don't really want. They're just having turkey. They would have it anyway, right? Doesn't matter what day it is. And then they're like, but if I eat that, I'm kind of falling into the. I went to the casino once and it was just full of weirdos. Then I realized that makes me one of them.

[Megan]

Because you're attractive.

[John Holmberg]

Because I'm like, I didn't want to do Thanksgiving either. And here I am at the casino. I'm having a good time.

[Megan]

Is that when you settled on potbelly?

[John Holmberg]

I did Christmas Eve at The casino with my friend Jim once.

[Byron]

He.

[John Holmberg]

He was here by himself. I'm like, I'll go with you. We'll go over there and do that. I finished my duties, and I'm like, we'll go over and whatever. And. And that's the good thing about. I think that's why. Why they do Chris Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners at like, 2 in the afternoon. So everybody's tired at 5 and get the hell out of the house. So I was like 7, and I'm like, we'll go over the casino and we'll mess around. It was nice, but it was the same vibe of, like, Jews and Jehovah's Witnesses just sitting, looking at each other.

[Megan]

Was it oddly full?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was really packed.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then family started to roll in, but it was a. Yeah, Thanksgiving's a weird one to, like, be at a casino.

[Megan]

Yeah. I did a Shreveport, Louisiana, when I was living in Arkansas. I had to get the hell out. So I went down to.

[John Holmberg]

Drove to Shreveport, Louisiana.

[Megan]

So much is like an hour, hour 15.

[John Holmberg]

That's sad.

[Byron]

Was that better than the barrel?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the old Cracker Barrel.

[Megan]

I did the barrel.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You've had some strange ones.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I've said that before, too. She'll be like, what do you think? We have enough to go. If they don't like it, they can.

[John Holmberg]

Go to Cracker Barrel.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't give a damn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They'll figure it out on their way home.

[Brett Vesely]

It's already free as it is.

[Megan]

Don't sell Cracker Barrel short.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not saying that.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm just.

[John Holmberg]

Stop it. That is not a Thanksgiving destination.

[Megan]

To Brett's meal is what?

[Byron]

Is what?

[John Holmberg]

The message if he doesn't. If you didn't get enough food, you're probably fat.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you just. You're going to hoard. Yeah. It's just such a weird holiday to me. I like it.

[Megan]

Sounds like you might have had somebody complain one year.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no, no, no, no. But she just. That worries that, you know. Well, did we get it, you know.

[Byron]

Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

We need rolls. Oh, maybe we need this. Yeah, that's. There's plenty here. And my fridge is just stacked with leftovers afterwards.

[John Holmberg]

We're not going to have enough. We'll have plenty. Trust me. And at the end, there's all that tinfoil and wrapping up and Tupperware. It's like we had more than enough.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll just get some addresses from Janny. I'll send it on over. I'm done.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, you should try something new for Thanksgiving. And Call Butterball and just breathe heavy and talk dirty and see if they're into it. The hotline. Hotline.

[Megan]

You think they're not ready for that?

[John Holmberg]

Butterball Hotline, can I help you?

[Byron]

Hey, it's a tradition. Every night, about 10pm thinking about making a second turkey.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if I can rally up. Maybe you should preheat the oven, if you know what I mean. What? I said, maybe you should preheat the oven, if you know what I mean. Say again? Maybe you should preheat. This isn't sexy if I have to yell it. I can't hear anything on the phone. My grandpa played first base, too.

[Byron]

What?

[John Holmberg]

That's a commercial for the phone. What are you doing?

[Byron]

This isn't going well.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. Let me get my miracle here. Say that again. Maybe you should preheat the oven. Premature. What? I'm gonna hang up. No. What?

[Megan]

The line's been dead for.

[Byron]

I miss you, Butterball.

[Megan]

Brady's still talking.

[John Holmberg]

Are you still there? I am, just. Because. I'm just curious when you're gonna hang out, because I know you can't hear me. I can't hear you, so I don't know if you're still there or not, but I can hear Stu. I'm gonna baste the turkey now, if you know what I mean. You make me sick. This is so gross. Oh, God. I can hear it. Oh, baby. Gobble, gobble. Gobble it all up. Gobble, gobble.

[Byron]

Asking him to gobble.

[John Holmberg]

Can I hang up now? What?

[Byron]

I need you to gobble a couple of times.

[John Holmberg]

You can't hear him. Anyway, happy Thanksgiving, everybody. It's just a strange one. And don't ask me. I might stop asking if I have any plans. I already told you, it's a thing. I just think that, you know, it's more of a test for me to avoid the. The mess. I don't like shoehorn things. That's a personal thing. And I need to get over it, truthfully. But I don't like the. Today's the day we do this and you have to go down this road. It's like, why can't I have dinner with these people on a normal night and call it the same thing? Because it's just not. We're so regimented into this sheep get in line kind of thing. And I feel like Thanksgiving does that to us, where it's like, you got to have dinner with these people. If I wanted to have dinner with them, I would.

[Byron]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

I don't want it forced on me.

[Megan]

The only person in town for you is your mom, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm having food with her today.

[Megan]

Oh, today?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

A pre think because I don't want to go to my sister's cuz that's where she is and I ain't going over there. That's awful.

[Byron]

You want to have any of her stew?

[John Holmberg]

Huh? No. I don't know what kind of witches brew and lizard guts they're eating over there. I'm not doing it. Some strange attempt to Cure Covid in 2025 in some pot.

[Megan]

You talk to the brother in law at all?

[Byron]

Nah.

[John Holmberg]

What's the point? He's just going to invite me over and I'll be like, can't. Your wife's a. He's nice. I like him a lot. He's a very nice guy. But off he goes. He's made his choice, and rightfully so. Yeah, I mean, he made the wrong choice. He still should have stuck with me.

[Megan]

But he made it.

[John Holmberg]

He made a choice. I mean, if you're going with her as a wife and me as a friend, he screwed up, but yeah, that's a.

[Brett Vesely]

What's Dan doing?

[John Holmberg]

Dan's in Texas killing stuff. He killed an elk the other day. And text me and needs me. I now know how my dad's not gonna. Like I'm gonna. How the phone call that's gonna come is not gonna be good. Your dad's stuck on the side of a mountain. Like, what happened? He killed an elk and he's climbing. He texts me. This gigantic elk he killed.

[Byron]

We just have his last longitude.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, got some sort of a coordinate. You got to go get him. I'm like, you got to go get him. As far as I'm concerned, that's where his resting place is.

[Megan]

I'll put a stone there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'll find it someday. But I'm not flying out there to climb a hill to carry a 200 pound man back. No, but he would get this elk. I sent Brady the picture. The elk is massive.

[Byron]

Nice. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And then he goes. Had to hike up to 8,500 elevation to get to that. I could barely breathe. And I'm like, you're. You're almost 80. I know. Knock it off. Hear the words you say sometimes.

[Megan]

I mean, who Talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98K youP. D. It's John Holbert here. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of my home group and dough hopkins dot com. I just sat down with TV's Doug Hopkins. We did some TV commercials while we're watching football so you get to see me sit next to Doug and somehow or another make Doug look pretty. And I'm happy to do it too. I bought and sold houses using Doug Hopkins. So I've been through the process and he's the real deal. He is not going to cancel or change the game with fine print contingencies. Simple cash offer and the deal is done. Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing Hopkins 1-800-channel.

[Larry McFeely]

Now do you have what it takes to finish first? The App Store is packed with super fast, super fun racing games for every driver. From battling with your favorite characters in Disney Speedstorm to piloting one of over 400 different cars on officially licensed tracks in real racing. 3. It's all right here. Blast down the track with no Limit Drag Racing 2. Race and collect the latest and greatest cars in CSR2 Realistic Drag Racing. Or even take over the international car racing arena with asphalt legends and take on the toughest drivers from around the world with NASCAR manager. Just visit the App store to find these racing games and more and get ready to start your engines. Leaf boredom in the dust on the App Store.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. That's how you go, you know. Well, if that's how I go, I'm like, no, no, no. You won't be saying that when you're huffing and puffing on that hill.

[Megan]

One tumble down the mountain and then you and. Hi, Yella.

[John Holmberg]

Hi. Yellow didn't go with him. A couple hours later, there he is with the skull and horns of an elk. Like, thanks for the pictures, Ed Gein. That's enough. Skinned it right there and he's smiling ear to ear. And it's just a skin skull.

[Byron]

You have to at that elevation to haul it down.

[Brett Vesely]

Do ya?

[Byron]

Yeah. You got a quarter?

[John Holmberg]

You know, I suggest maybe just incredibly potent paintballs at this point. You don't need to do. The meat's gonna outlive him. He's 80, for Christ's sake. That's like eight years of meat. How many freezers does he have? Hundreds. And I know I'm gonna inherit nine freezers. I'll put an order for you. Don't worry about it. It's coming whether I ask or not. I'm. He's coming out early December. He texted. He goes, we're coming out December 5th, and I'd love to have dinner with you guys. I'm like, all right, we can do that. I'll also be bringing a massive cooler of oat. Now that's why you're coming out pawning office? Because you're pawning off all that dead animal. You don't want to see me, you got to get rid of merch. No, no, no. I want to see your sister, too. I know merch. They like elk meat, don't they? Yeah, but not by the hundreds of pounds you bring it to us in. Gross. A steak, a sausage, and then I'll give Brady a couple. So bring five. Not. Here's a bag. Here's a bag no one man can carry here. You pick up one half of it. Literally, last time he showed up, he just stands on the porch. By the way, I don't know what happened to him. So they show up at the house, supposed to go to dinner, and they show up 45 minutes before they're supposed to. I just get out of the shower. I got a towel, and I see shadows on the front patio. And I'm like, what the hell is going on out there? Open the window. I'm like, jesus Christ, they're here. And I just left them out there. I'm like, well, we said 4:30, quarter to 4. I don't know what he's doing. He's gonna sit outside. So I looked out. He's got this. Keeps peeking in this cooler. Oh, Jesus Christ, it's gonna melt.

[Byron]

He's there to pregame.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I don't know what he's there to do. We're getting ready. He's going to sit outside or inside by himself. So either way. And it was a nice day. So we sat on the front patio, and then I opened the door and I got some clothes on. I'm like, what are you doing? Rideshare service said it wasn't going to take. It was supposed to be at 4:30. I'm like, you thought that from Mesa to my house, which is 16 miles, was going to take close to 60 minutes? Well, rideshare said he went there and he picked us up. How long did it take? About 13 minutes. But you're gonna stand on the patio for a while. Let this be a lesson to you. Go to a bar and get a drink. We'll be out in a minute.

[Byron]

Cut the grass.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Help me carry this. What is that? That's your meat. Oh, man.

[Brett Vesely]

How much did you bring your freezer from last?

[John Holmberg]

I gave a lot to Brady. It's been just. Everybody gets some. My buddy Joe came over and do you like elk meat? He goes, love it. I'm gonna come with me. And then we made another Bag that no one man can carry and help Joe to his car. And it's great. I appreciate it, but my God, I know what he's up to. And he's killed again. How many times you say that about your dad?

[Byron]

Oh, God.

[John Holmberg]

Dad's killed again. He's hooked. He's going to bring all the evidence over to our house from Texas to here. And along the way, he's throwing out packages like he's Santa Claus. He's got friends in New Mexico. He stops there. He's driving for a reason. He'd fly if it wasn't for that goddamn meat.

[Byron]

Got that refrigerated.

[John Holmberg]

He's. Here's the worst part.

[Megan]

You need a special permit to bring me.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the. No, you don't. Here's the weirder part. This is. This is last year elk, because his new elk hasn't been rendered yet, so it's not there. So he's making room for all the elk he didn't eat from the last one he killed for the new elk meat to fill its space. So as he's driving, he's like an Amarillo. You want some sausage? What? He's got a truckload of meat like some lunatic.

[Brett Vesely]

So is Paul Horton doing the Dan Dan radar, like they use the Santa Claus radar on the way here? Paul, he's over through Albuquerque right now throwing up packages of elk.

[John Holmberg]

The great Paul Horton. Hey, Buddy. The other day on the news, he does the weekend morning news now, and the great Paul Horton. They had a girl guest in there, and she does some sort of travel thing, and she's like 11ft tall, and she's standing next to the really short girl and they're talking and then they go, let's throw it over to Paul for weather. And he goes, you know, she's been here all day and she just. What a pleasure that woman has been to have in the studio the whole time. He goes, thanks a lot, Buddy. And I'm like, he does. He's doing my impression of him now to women. You don't call women Buddy on tv. Thanks a lot, Buddy. Oh, Paul. Yeah, He's. He's. He's basically. He's. He's. My dad's lost his mind on that. It's elk. Every year. He's basically like the Mexicans who hand out tamales.

[Byron]

If you slow visit, maybe he'll pull the. The car over on the side of the road and have elk sticks.

[John Holmberg]

He would. He wouldn't sell them. It's. It's too. It's Too much. He's got to get rid of hundreds of pounds of meat. A killing elk. You want half of it? Are you crazy?

[Byron]

Where.

[Megan]

You know how much meat a half?

[John Holmberg]

It's. What are those, like £2,000?

[Megan]

So much meat. Not quite that much, but I have to go.

[John Holmberg]

I'm getting half a cow. That's with Jonathan from verlo. It's like 1300, but I'm quartering it with another friend because when Jonathan said it's a lot, I'm like, how much is it? He goes, it's a lot. And he goes. And I'm like, okay. So we're talking about it and. And this was me buying a mattress. I ended up buying a cow. Like I live, you know.

[Megan]

And you brought some of that in. It's delicious.

[John Holmberg]

It's great. 1305. Yeah. He's got this guy, so he's like, you want to go in with me? You get half. I could have him. Like, I got a friend who will take the other quarter. We looked at what a quarter of a cow is in your house. It's a full massive butcher's freezer. Yeah, it's a lot of meat. My dad has an elk that's bigger than a cow and it's in the back of his truck and it's on its way.

[Byron]

How many freezers does he have in the cow?

[John Holmberg]

I think five, six, maybe seven. I need another freezer. No, you need less meat. You're missing. You're missing the math on that.

[Megan]

You know how long that stuff keeps?

[John Holmberg]

I can eat forever. I got another freezer. I can get more meat. Like you don't need. What are you preparing for? Well, civil war. I'm like, nobody's. Don't get them started about that. But there he is climbing 9,000 foot peaks to drag a 2,000 pound animal down a hill to skin it and then give me stuff I never asked for.

[Brett Vesely]

Is it good? Is elk meat good?

[Byron]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No, it isn't. It's not as good as it's good. But you'd rather have.

[Megan]

You'd rather have a steak?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't think I've ever had it.

[John Holmberg]

And you have to, you know, you have to do to elk meat that makes it good. Make it. It's the same thing vegetarians do with their food. They try as hard as they can to make it taste like a steak. So you take an elk steak and they're good.

[Megan]

Super tenderize it.

[John Holmberg]

But everybody is going to email me going, whoa, that's crazy. Elk is. No, you got to put Tons of stuff that you'd put on, like to make it taste more like a steak. And then you got to soak it in stuff. And there's so much preparation to make it not taste like a gamey outdoor animal. And what I like about meat, and I think we all can agree, is all the antibiotics and steroids that we pump into our farm animals to make them taste better and be juicier and meatier. It's working. Remember chicken? When? Like now the chicken wings are the size of your forearm. That's a good thing.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There's my dad with the thing. He kills that nine at 9, 000 foot elevation.

[Brett Vesely]

2, 3, 4, 5, 5 point.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. It's a massive. That's bigger than that six point.

[Byron]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

But it's huge. I'm gonna get some if you want some.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I'll try some.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's good. Yeah, but you've gotta. You've got to work hard to make it good.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not doing that.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not either. And I don't think it'll do that. Megan ain't doing that. I was in the kitchen a few weeks ago. Megan was cutting chicken. What are you doing? And she just threw it away. I can't.

[Megan]

This uncooked.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because it has the little weird fatty parts. So she tries to carve that all off. The little weird off color chicken's just disgusting. I can't do it. She picked it up and threw it out. And I'm like, hey, still good. It's disgusting. I can't handle raw chicken.

[Byron]

It's gross.

[John Holmberg]

Steaks right in front of me. Like, is this a game so you don't have to cook.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe she figured it out.

[John Holmberg]

Figured it out. The only thing you'll cook is stuff I won't eat. So it's easier to cook, like meat raw. I can't. I can't eat this fried chicken and just tosses it. It's ruined. Ruined. As she says, that's ruined. I don't know what you're doing.

[Brett Vesely]

Why'd she buy it in the first place? I don't know. It was raw when she bought it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. So God forbid, Dan shows up with elk meat and says, why don't you get in the kitchen there and start cooking that up? And she opens that up. She thinks all. A lot of women think that the red that comes off of raw meat is blood, but it's not. It's water. And, well, it's not even related to the cow really. It's Just.

[Brett Vesely]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

It's moisture.

[Megan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

There's no blood. Those are. They're not eating the veins. They've. They bled out the cow. There's blood everywhere. That's not blood. But, yeah, my dad coming back with that. And God forbid, open up one of those weird butcher's wrapping packages, and the thing is just covered in that red water, and Megan, throw up on it and throw it out. And then that elk died for no reason. I bet you that elk was standing on that hill looking down, going, is that guy shooting at me?

[Byron]

Ow.

[John Holmberg]

His friend's like, what? He's like, that old man down there. He ain't climbing up here to get us. Don't worry about it.

[Brett Vesely]

Ow.

[John Holmberg]

Good one up there. Six points. That old bastard got me.

[Megan]

God damn it.

[John Holmberg]

He's not coming up here, is he? I'm a. Damn it. It's in my lungs.

[Megan]

Well, I'm gonna fall uphill, then run.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm gonna run uphill. I'm gonna kill him, too.

[Brett Vesely]

Complaining about free elk. One of the best tasting meats. I'd kill for that. It totally proves you're not a Jew.

[John Holmberg]

Cause it's free. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Cause it's free.

[Megan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What if you eat one of those gay elk? They're not as gamey and they have fruitier flavor. It's probably more expensive to eat the homosexual elk. Yeah, it's. It's a nice gesture, don't get me wrong. And elk meat. I'll give you some bread, and you'll probably prep it, and Brady preps his and does it. I like meat to just go on fire and then turn over once and then just start chowing it. The other day, I had a steak. I didn't even cook it. I just opened the package and I ate it. I don't care about cooking it at all. I think it's delicious that way. Elk meat, no prep. You just nothing.

[Megan]

You've seen him, Non.

[John Holmberg]

I literally took the steak out of the package and just ate it. There's no fire. There was no heat. I don't mind.

[Megan]

His own carpaccio.

[John Holmberg]

It's just. Just carnivorous nonsense. You're gonna get sick. 53. 53. And. Oh, actually, never been sick from raw meat because it's good. And the one thing about that is you can't let it sit out once it's out of the package. You got to eat it. If you like to eat it, I'm fine with it. Liver king. Look at that guy. He's a winner.

[Megan]

Rest in peace.

[John Holmberg]

He's alive. No, no. He's just in big trouble for taking steroids. The. I read about that. Because they're like. I always fight back with people, like get sick from eat then. Not if you eat it right away. If it sits on a plate for like 20 minutes and with other meats. All right, well, you can't. Well, yeah, but if it sits outside at all, then bacteria kind of gets on it and then you're eating that. But if you right out of the package start going, you're fine. Hear the words you say sometimes.

[Megan]

I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98Kupd why choose a sleep number? Smart bed. Can I make my sight softer? Can I make my sight firmer? Can we sleep cooler? Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side. Your sleep number setting. Enjoy personalized comfort for better sleep night after night. It's the final days of our Black Friday sale. Recharge this season with a bundle of cozy, soothing comfort. Now only 17.99 for our C2 mattress and base plus free premium delivery prices higher in Alaska and Hawaii. Check it out at a sleep number store or sleepnumber.com today. Homburg's morning sickness. They're absolutely fine, and it's delicious. But you can't do that with elk because it doesn't have that same. It's tougher. You can't tear through it really with your teeth. Like, you can like a delicious steak. It's good, but it's not something I. You know, there's a reason why there's no, like, elk only section over at AJ's.

[Byron]

If they have sausage. Ground elk you could do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's okay. I'd rather have sausage. Sausage. Like, what are those? Pigs? I'd rather eat that.

[Megan]

Yes. Pigs, sausage.

[John Holmberg]

Totally fine with it.

[Byron]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Elk sausage. A little dry summer sausage. The way you're preparing it.

[Byron]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Because I don't have to worry about it with the regular sausage. It's a lot of meat. He's all dressed up. It's great to see you. Come to the car real quick. Was the Uber guy still here? Yeah, we couldn't lift it. Oh, mother. We got the thing with the elk going.

[Brett Vesely]

Uber guys got a case of elk steaks in the trunk, too.

[John Holmberg]

Uber guys got half a hundred sticking out of his shirt pocket. Because my dad said, wait here. I don't want you to get into his house and stuff. Or you're gonna help me out. He's gotta lift this giant half a cow. He's like last time was maybe about 80 pounds. And he's got this thing in his arms walking up, and I'm like, what did he bring me? That better be stealer stuff. Nope. Meat you never asked for. Where do I put it? You got a freezer? No, I got seven. I'll send one over. I'm like, I don't want a freezer either.

[Brett Vesely]

Has he brought. Has he brought you a taxidermied head yet?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, when I got the place in sholo a while ago, that became his dream. I can finally give you some of these heads he's told me about.

[Megan]

That's where he put them all.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, what are you gonna do with all those heads when you die? Oh, don't you want them? I'm gonna ask you again. And don't ask that back.

[Megan]

You know better.

[John Holmberg]

What are you gonna do with all those heads? Well, I suppose I could just donate them to someone. Not me. Right. No one wants those but you.

[Megan]

Rocky Mountain elk foundation.

[John Holmberg]

They'll take a lot of stories behind them, like in your head. Those stories live only in your head. I have no idea how to tell those stories.

[Megan]

Right. So unless you put a pl Right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's like the hall of fame. We're like, oh, wow. He's killed that one in 1993. And evidently it's a COOS D area to shoot it in the face.

[Brett Vesely]

Had to hike up 8, 500ft.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody cares. So Mo money pond's gonna get like a thousand for free. Just get them on them. You guys take them, they're yours.

[Megan]

Mo money's gonna have to start doing estate sales.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Megan]

For members of the show.

[John Holmberg]

He brought over an elkhead to my place in show low. That was just. This one doesn't fit in my house. So it fits in because I had a 30 foot ceiling in one.

[Megan]

Oh, right.

[John Holmberg]

And it fit. It was huge. And then it went to his house.

[Megan]

Get a scissor lift to get it up there.

[John Holmberg]

Big ladder.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The thing was, it was awkward to hang it, but, you know, it fit in that area of. Of the world. But then I go to his house when he was in cave creek and he had. I thought it was on the ground. The horns were touching the ceiling at a 10 foot ceilings. The horns were touching the ceiling. And this big giant head of something started at the base of the wall and went from the base of the wall to the top. And I'm like, that looks terrible there. What are you talking about? Like, that looks like a bad. That's Just clutter. That's one of the most impressive beasts. I'm like, no, no, no. It's clutter now. It used to be an impressive beast when it had a body attached to it. Now it's just the severed head sitting where a coffee table should be. You don't understand, like. No, I do. You don't. The problem is that, you know, I understand.

[Megan]

You're just not accepting.

[John Holmberg]

It's taken up an awful lot of unnecessary. Well, what am I going to put in the garage? Like, I don't know, not keep it as the other option. I don't have any more of my baseball trophies because it's clutter. Wow. You're insane. Took me three hours to get to.

[Byron]

That thing my dad was able to spread.

[Brett Vesely]

Three hours of your day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Three hours of your day to go. Dragon.

[Byron]

Scare me out. All right. Over about five or six houses in the neighborhood.

[John Holmberg]

Dad needs to start doing that. Just leaving them as gifts on the porch.

[Byron]

Yeah, there's a couple buddies that. Hey, can I have it for my man cave?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sure.

[Megan]

Think about that, though. He's just littering in the neighborhood.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, fine. Drop him off. Be like a weird Santa Claus.

[Megan]

Leave him on the mountain.

[John Holmberg]

No. Or that. Cut a Ted off and leave it for the. Like the Indians used or whatever. Oh, he's going to keep that skull, I guarantee you. That's going to be in my future. Of course, that new one, I'm going.

[Brett Vesely]

To ship it to you.

[John Holmberg]

That thing he killed in Spain, I thought he was in Mordor.

[Megan]

Is that the ibex?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He sent me a picture or something. I'm like, you're not on our planet anymore. What is that? And he goes, it's a Spanish ibax. I didn't know about these either.

[Megan]

He doesn't have room for that head in his.

[John Holmberg]

No one does. You have to have an airplane hanger to hang. That's huge. Is the meat good? We'll find out.

[Byron]

I have one on the ranch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we'll find out. We'll find out. No, you'll find out. Don't you bring me Spanish ibex. Well, what am I supposed to do with it? Stop killing stuff. Paintball them. Spanish ibex. My dad shot one that ended up in a magazine.

[Megan]

Got these giant impeller horns, just huge.

[John Holmberg]

And he ended up in some magazine as, like, one of the year's biggest kills in the world. And he's sitting on a mountain next to this thing. He looks like a tiny boy, and he goes, well, perspective of that's a little off. And I'm like, dad, those horns are six feet maybe. Jesus Christ. What is that thing? Oh, we traveled down to Middle Earth and we. I know. You're not on our planet anymore. I haven't even seen that in, like, a Nat Geo special. This thing was huge.

[Byron]

I had a dwarf hunting guy.

[John Holmberg]

That's Dan. That's the picture you're looking at right now of a guy holding it. My dad's was probably two times as big as.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

That's fairly normal sized. Evidently, what these guys are standing in front of. My dad killed a Spanish ibex and sent a picture, and it was like, there he is. Yeah, that's a dude mountain one. Those are small compared to the one he killed.

[Brett Vesely]

And did he mount the head?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what he's doing out there in Texas.

[Megan]

You find out soon enough.

[John Holmberg]

I brought you this. If it's sitting on top of the Uber when he shows up on December 5th, I'll know.

[Brett Vesely]

Just turn out all the lights.

[John Holmberg]

If you. If you take that one picture you're looking at right there and multiply it by two. That's. That's. Oh, my God. My dad just says this. And the horns are the size of, like, I don't even know what. Just two by fours. They're huge. Figuring that.

[Megan]

Yeah, that's a 4x4.

[John Holmberg]

That's like a post. That's a. It's a post. Yeah. It's huge. He's nuts. He told me that when I was about 18 once. You want to go hunting with me? I do not want to go hunting with you. You know what? Maybe I'll just look in the yellow pages for a Rent a Son. I'm like, I don't want to do the things you want to do, and you're angry at me for it. Do you want to go to improv class? What am I, gay? See, we're the same. You like twink stuff, though. I like manly things like, see, this is where we're different.

[Megan]

Agree to disagree.

[John Holmberg]

No money ever came from improvisation. You'll see. Old Fanul. Excuse me. What do you got on the big board of musical Treats there?

[Brett Vesely]

All right, Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And, well, to get some of those extra LBs off, it's time to hit the trails and go over to Action Ride Shop. Pick yourself up a bike. They got everything to get you on the trails. And big deals going on with the new pivots. Santa Cruz, Ibis. You name it, they got it. And if you're ready to go up skiing. Well, the. The OG store right there on Gilbert Road and Southern's gonna take care of you. Get your reservations in now or purchase now actionrideshop.com Angry Samoans. They saved Hitler's cock, apparently, is a. 1 minute and 30 seconds.

[John Holmberg]

He had a rooster. I didn't know that. Yeah, I've heard that before, actually.

[Brett Vesely]

Green jelly tool slaughtered prevail Black Sabbath fairies wear boots for the gay wool. A trey. You ministry type O negative. I don't want to be me for Thanksgiving, people. Ted Nugent, White Buffalo for Dan Holmberg.

[John Holmberg]

I like that. You wrote Ted Nugget.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, well. Yep. I was writing Quick, Metallica, Jimmy's Chicken Shack, Avenged Sevenfold, Danko Jones.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know that I've heard White Buffalo in a long time.

[Brett Vesely]

Great White Buffalo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know the song, but it's been a minute, and if my dad had the opportunity to bring buffalo meat, he would. I think we should do this.

[Megan]

Oh, God.

[Brett Vesely]

Great white Buffalo.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

For Dan.

[John Holmberg]

For Dan. Give one to the old man for Turkey Day. I think that's pretty good.

[Brett Vesely]

You want me to get it?

[Byron]

A great white beefalo?

[John Holmberg]

I got a lot. Yeah, it's not even a thing. I got a lot of people asking for my dad's elk meat. I'm not saying he's giving it to all of you. I'm just saying.

[Brett Vesely]

Not about six fridges.

[John Holmberg]

This guy just said, sounds like your dad needs a refrigerator truck. Don't say that to him, because the next thing you know, he'll be calling me from Las Cruces. I am broken down in Las Cruces. In the fridge, all the meat's melting. This is your fault, though. You did this to you. You did this to you. You put the fear of God in me yesterday, Brady, when you told the story about Kirby's ticket. What I. I. Do you want to tell that one? It's pretty solid. Or is it too early? You don't want to tell it because.

[Byron]

You think too early.

[John Holmberg]

Because he's dodging it. Well, you can dodge it. It's legal to dodge it. You think they're going to come after you because you say, I'm going to say it. Then you got a photo radar ticket. He threw it away like you're supposed to. You're following my advice, and that makes you nervous because you're being a coward. But you fight the man. You fight him the way it's. It's an unlawful way to give people tickets. It's an unlawful way to give people tickets. But it reminded me of my dad finding out that I let a friend of mine drive my car, and he took my car away from me and said, if he wants to drive it, then he can drive you places, but not in my car. Like, what? He goes, that thing's not in your name. Like, what are you talking about? He saw me and my friend drive away. My buddy was driving the car, and I got back, and it was calm. Cool and calm. Give me your keys. Like, what do you got? And I threw the keys to him, like, what's going on? You need my car. You don't have a car anymore. What? You do not have a car anymore. I don't? Nope. Like, why? He goes, because you let your buddy drive it. And if your friend wants to drive, he can drive his car. And if you need a ride, he's the one that can drive your own. Because I saw you guys driving around, and I just sat there like, what in the hell? He goes, you think if he does something stupid, they're gonna sue him? And I'm like, oh, I suppose not. And he goes, and he gets killed. His family's not gonna sue me, too. What were you thinking? I'm like, I don't know. My dad thought of everything.

[Brett Vesely]

That was Kurt Vesley. He would be like, if he was screaming, I'd be okay. But he was just so pissed. He'd be so calm.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the calm takeaway.

[Brett Vesely]

It's the worst.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't have a car for two weeks. I thought he was. I thought it was forever. I was not allowed to drive anymore. And he liked Mark, but Mark's going to drive. He's got a car. He can drive you around. You can be his passenger in his car. Like, oh, but you're not doing it in mine. Like, okay. And I. I thought I was going to die, just from the. Look, I've been thinking about Dan since yesterday. He might. And I thought maybe he'd come out here and still get me in trouble for that kind of stuff. I still worry that he's going to take my keys. I still feel like Bronco. Yeah. Give me that. Give me the keys. What do.

[Byron]

You.

[John Holmberg]

Don't know what you're doing? That's enough. What'd you park that outside for? Huh? You parked the goddamn car outside. It's brand new. Put it in the garage. Like, I forgot. Give me the keys. You don't have a car anymore. Horrible. All right. Ted Nugent for the Old Man. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station, he said, fully erected.