11-26-25 - New Hitler Doc Uses Polygenics To Show How His Micro Penis Was Source Of All His Problems - Sheep Farmer Claims His Gay Sheeps Wool Is Better Than Straight Wool Creating A New Gay Rights Debate

Summary

Episode Overview

Main Theme:
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness delves into two utterly bizarre and provocative headlines: a new documentary claims Hitler’s micro penis was the root of his psychological issues, and a sheep farmer’s assertion that “gay sheep’s wool” is superior to straight sheep’s wool—sparking an unexpected “gay rights” debate for livestock.
As always, the crew—John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Dick Toledo—bring their signature blend of curiosity, irreverence, and humor, riffing on science, history, social movements, and the sometimes baffling direction of modern culture.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Pre-Holiday Banter & Thanksgiving Travel (01:13–04:17)

• Travel Gripes: John laments brutal holiday travel, preferring Arizona warmth over snowy Midwest family visits. "No thank you. ... There's no possible way it's worth some food and a few minutes with your family to go 472 miles." (01:58)
• Airport Nightmare: Jokes that "Al Qaeda won" by making American air travel hellish since 9/11.
• Thanksgiving Preferences: John confesses he’d rather have Potbelly turkey subs and binge documentaries than bother with the hassle: “I crush a couple of turkey potbelly subs. Watch Kennedy documentaries all weekend.” (04:21)

The Hitler Micro Penis Polygenics Documentary (04:17–17:29)

• Blueprint of a Dictator:
  • John discusses the new BBC doc Hitler's DNA: Blueprint of a Dictator, which combines polygenic DNA analysis and alleged medical history.
  • Headline takeaway: Modern genetics is used to claim Hitler's psychopathy and war crimes link, at least in part, to "never achieving puberty" and “micropenis” syndrome.
• Major Points:
  • "Micro penis, big time micro penis. And that’s what this whole...that’s what the documentary is about." (07:11, John Holmberg)
  • Show jokes about male insecurity and society’s obsession with size, lampooning “men are about our wiener size. And that’s how weird women have made us about our wiener size.” (09:01, John)
  • Brady: “You wonder how many leaders were at that—you never hear too many, like, kings or in history that have that. Hitler’s the most.” (09:24)
  • Panel riffs on genetics, the possibility of screening and engineering away undesirable traits in the future: "They're checking options on a car at the dealer." (11:12, Brett)
• “Designer Babies” and Eugenics Parody:
  • The team jokes about polygenics progressing to “build-a-baby” style genetics, with John saying, “If this happened and you know, there was eugenics and polygenics out there...[and] he’s leaning heavy towards micropenis, I’m like, oh, let’s roto-rooter that out before I get to know him and we’ll start fresh with another one.” (13:34)
  • “Doesn't mean if you have a micropenis you're gonna be Hitler, but it means that if you have a micropenis, you're probably going to be Hitler." (13:41, John)
• Medical History & Cultural Context:
  • Claims microphallus rates, historical records of small penis preference, and cultural differences—“Back in the old days...a smaller one used to be the ones the ladies liked.” (10:03, John)
  • Jokes about African cultural standards—"If I carried my penis around in Africa...they’d be like, oh yeah, so sorry...You are going to be some sort of radical dictator." (15:54, John)
• Conspiracy Lampooning:
  • Speculations that "a Jewish doctor" gave Hitler the news, and idle banter about other dictators.

Notable Quotes

• “The one thing that kept [Hitler] up was the world finding out his dick was little. That’s how important it is to us.” —John Holmberg (08:24)
• “If you have a micro penis, you have to be the Michael Jordan of cunnilingus. That is a fact.” —John Holmberg (14:01)

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Gay Sheep Wool and the New “Animal Rights” Debate (17:29–33:53)

• Absurd Origins: John segues from the Hitler topic to news about a sheep farmer marketing “gay sheep wool” as more desirable. “Now this is too far. They’re now making sheep try to be gay because they say that gay wool is better for production.” (18:27)
• Satirizing “Slippery Slope” Arguments:
  • John and the crew recall early 2000s fears about the “gay agenda” leading to bestiality or other slippery slopes: “Remember when older people...used to say, if you give gays that kind of right...next thing you know we’ll be marrying animals?” (18:14)
• Gay Sheep Details:
  • "Scientists have estimated that as many as 9% of rams are sexually gay, a stat that led Michael Stuke to found Rainbow Wool..." (21:30, John)
  • Sheep that prefer same-sex “partners” are segregated and their wool sold as premium “rainbow wool,” with support from some celebrities (Cher, Taylor Swift).
  • “You got to do a lot of research to find out which ones are doing that, which ones are bisexual…” (21:39, John)
• Panel Riffs:
  • Panel imagines “gay sheep bars,” complaints about “sheep dingleberries,” and fashion designers’ motives.
  • “If I was gay, I’d be like, all right, that’s enough. We’re not animals. This isn’t...you know, they’re saying it’s a human rights thing. I need to see a video...” (22:39, John)
  • The team imagines a market for “lesbian wool” or “gay meats”—parodying future LGBTQ+ labeling in food and fashion.
• Consumer Cynicism:
  • John doubts the quality claims: “Just because somebody said they gave the cow a massage. I mean, that’s how you get laid at 2 a.m.—you walk up to the end of the bar, you give the cow a massage.” (28:13)
  • “Now you add a little gay wool to that, they’re not gonna be happy about it. You start taking their money.” (29:00, John, on high-end fashion pricing)
• Cultural Commentary:
  • John highlights the rhetorical trap: “They make it like this all or nothing kind of proposition to say if you think this is silly...you hate gay people. And that’s not true at all." (33:21)
• Farm Stories:
  • Childhood memories of getting “bludgeoned” by sheep—“I was smashed up against a barn wall by a sheep. He didn’t let go...he just walloped my little five-year-old body...” (32:24)
  • Imagining “gay sheep farms” with dance-offs and sassy mating rituals.

Notable Quotes

• “If you’re buying a wool sweater, and that sweater is, like, $400 more than the straight wool, I need to see a video of that gay sex happening...that this isn’t some sort of scam.” —John Holmberg (22:39)
• “That wool’s going to be twice as much. Tell you what, man, I like watching that, man.” —John Holmberg (30:36, channeling “Farmer Jay”)
• "Sheep are kind of gay anyway. They kind of do gay stuff." —John Holmberg (31:53)

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Noteworthy and Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• 03:36 – “Who ruined Thanksgiving? ... Obama. ... No, Al Qaeda.” (Joking about airport security)
• 07:11 – “Yeah, it’s a micropen. Big time micro penis. And that’s what this whole ... documentary is about.” (John on the documentary’s focus)
• 09:01 – “Men are about our wiener size. And that’s how weird women have made us about our wiener size.”
• 13:41 – “Doesn’t mean if you have a micropenis you’re gonna be Hitler, but it means that if you have a micropenis, you’re probably going to be Hitler.”
• 18:14 – “If you give gays that kind of right...next thing you know we’ll be marrying animals...the gay will never end.”
• 21:30 – “Scientists have estimated as many as 9% of rams are sexually gay...Michael Stuke founded Rainbow Wool...entirely focused on the wool of gay sheep.”
• 22:39 – “I need to see a video of that gay sex happening with my...wool.”
• 28:13 – “Just because somebody said they gave the cow a massage...that’s how you get laid at 2am...you give the cow a massage.”
• 29:00 – "Now you add a little gay wool to that, they're not gonna be happy about it. You start taking their money."
• 32:24 – “I was smashed up against a barn wall by a sheep. He didn’t let go...he just walloped my little five-year-old body...”

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Tone and Language

• Signature irreverence: The banter is brash, over-the-top, frequently self-deprecating, and replete with quick-witted, sometimes crude, humor.
• Pop culture & personal asides: Frequent asides, family anecdotes, and conversational tangents give the discussion a loose, improvisational feel.
• Satirical but sharp: Regularly lampoons both “slippery slope” panic and the oddities of modern identity and rights debates, while also pointing out the real social changes they embody.

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Conclusion & Takeaways

This episode highlights Holmberg’s Morning Sickness at its provocative best—gleefully dissecting and mocking the absurd edges of science reporting and rights activism, from Hitler’s alleged genetic woes to luxury gay sheep wool.
Besides providing plenty of laughs and head shakes, the show satirizes how fringe scientific research and niche cultural debates can enter mainstream discourse—and fetch a premium, whether in political arguments or at high-end boutiques.

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For those who missed the episode:
If you want high-energy, irreverent banter about bizarre news, half-serious science, pop culture, and the ever-shifting lines of political correctness—this episode is a wild, unfiltered ride, with plenty of punchlines you probably won’t hear anywhere else.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Larry McFeely]

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[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday day before Thanksgiving. It's 5:45 this the morning sickness. My name is John Holmberg. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Big Dick Toledo. And off we go as you guys settle in for whatever kind of day you're putting forth here. Either planning to leave or planning for people to show up. Or if you're smart, figuring out a way to just make this a four day holiday where you can dodge everybody, which is the smart thing to do. Looking at weather and stuff, there's no possible way it's worth some food and a few minutes with your family to go 472 miles to fly back to what I'm looking at. Chicago's gonna snow all weekend. You go over to Pennsylvania, my dad's hometown. Snow starting Friday. Lake effect snow the entire time. Just, just blush cold 35 degrees. No thank you. Brady. You might Have a good excuse to fly back to, like, Michigan. It's gonna. Supposed to be dumping snow on that, too. You got the Ohio State game. At the very least, you have some sort of rivalry football. But I don't want to stand in that ice anymore. And then the other side is to have people fly to you. Sweet Jesus, who needs that? I never understood the food. I like Thanksgiving, but I don't get traveling for it. It's to me. And I guess that's just me being older and stuff is you start start looking at going, I'm going to go fight this crowd to go spend a day and a half with people across. Why don't I just take a time when there's no. Like. Like I'll go in April or something when the weather's better and the crowds at the airport aren't such a big deal. I'll go do Thanksgiving on my own another time. This is good.

[Brady]

When I first moved out here years ago, I would go back to Thanksgiving and it only took about two or three times. I'm saying, is it worth it?

[John Holmberg]

Especially the comeback. Yeah, you can. You can pick and choose your dates to fly out today, tomorrow even, and do that kind of. You come back, everybody's coming back Sunday. Almost everybody's getting that. It's just, oh, airports. There's not much worse than airports. You know who ruined this? You know the sons of bitches what ruined Thanksgiving made it too hard. Thanks.

[Brett Vesely]

Obama.

[John Holmberg]

Al Qaeda. Well, close Al Qaeda. They made it so airports are nearly impossible to navigate anyway, and you're just taking one in the ass the entire time. And then Thanksgiving rolls around and it's a disaster area. Yeah, Al Qaeda won that one. That. That was theirs. They. They changed some stuff in this country, and that was their goal. They don't really care about winning a war. They cared about making us do all sorts of stuff, taking a little freedom from us. Man, do they do it on weekends like this. And then you got that thing. If it's local, you got your family still living all in Phoenix. And so you get the ones you like, and they always drag one or two of the ones you don't like. Then you got to walk on eggshells.

[Commercial Announcer]

Always.

[John Holmberg]

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. It sounds. Aw. Back to my awesome Thanksgiving ideas of today. I go by two potbelly subs from Potbelly the turkey subs. None of that cranberry nonsense on them. Plop those there, and I crush a couple of turkey potbelly subs. Watch Kennedy documentaries all weekend because it's awesome. Some football tomorrow and the new one that I just got, and I'm halfway through Hitler's DNA. Blueprint of a dictator. It's pretty odd. You were talking about a few weeks ago and I was questioning. We have a lock of his hair. We don't actually. That turned out to be fals back in 2014. These guys actually took that off a conspiracy theorist.

[Brady]

So they said they had. The most recent one that I did was a fabric of blood off the couch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, same. Same guys. And they said that that can't be. And no DNA can be taken from that.

[Commercial Announcer]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

Because that's the whole goal of this documentary, is to find. So they got a male descendant of Hitler and they took his DNA. They guarantee it. Because there's no proof Hitler killed himself on that couch.

[Larry McFeely]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

That's all speculation. Yeah. So they're like, well, if it's a blood soaked couch, it could be anybody. So it's the shroud of Torah and of Hitler. Like, you can't prove this. So they've got stuff that they know for sure is Hitler based, man. They have this new thing called polygenics. And it's, you know, everybody's like, right in the bedroom. Well, you'd think so. It's good for your teeth. It keeps your teeth in poly. Polygenics. Oh, yeah. She's gonna go crazy. But it kind of reminds me of when people first heard about DNA evidence where they're like, this is crazy. Like, this science is too much. Like, you will get polygenics and they can look at your DNA and break it down to what. What you're more susceptible to get to, like, your leanings to being even, like adhd? Then it becomes the nature, nurture thing. Like, was it your parents, was it your surroundings that took you from what you are to, you know, your schizophrenic behavior, whatever. But you lean one way or the other. Polygenic sees that. So they say, like, if they went into Brett's brain, they'd say, okay, he's leaning towards psychopathy.

[Brady]

And if we can get him that direction.

[John Holmberg]

And if. Yeah, you can. And the other way too is like, okay, if we know that going in, you can kind of curb some of the things that might cause that to flourish. So Hitler had the Hitler DNA that they pulled off of that. And what they think they still have of him kind of comboed up. They said all the stuff about neurodivergence. He had psychopathic tendencies. He had all these things. And they said, but it was all triggered and went the way of bad. Because he never. His left testicle never fell and he had most of the time with what he had micro. Like 12 to 15% of people have like an inch long penis.

[Brady]

Micropene.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a micropen big time micro penis. And that's what this whole. So the whole documentary is fascinating. It's a friend I had, you know, Ian sends it to me and he's got this thing. It's a British BBC 4 did it. And it's two parts and the first part is all about like, oh, Hitler this, Hitler that and how polygenics works and this. And then the second part basically starts off going, we're pretty sure we found out he's got a micro dick. And then they just go into that and it's the almost. The whole documentary is like this. This was it. And Hitler was adamant after he saw what happened to Mussolini. Like they took Mussolini in the town square and paraded him around. Adamant that he was burned. Like, do not let my body in the hands of anyone. Burn it. Like he was telling everybody get. So that's why they're like, he did it himself. He couldn't guarantee that he wasn't going to get captured and that all the things Hitler did that. That made him. He could go to sleep at night. The one thing that kept him up was the world finding out his dick was little. That's how important it is to us ladies. That's weird. Men are about our wiener size. And that's how weird women have made us about our wiener size. It's because the. You know the avenues that women go down with all the lying and the, oh, it's size doesn't matter till like a girl breaks up with a guy and all you hear about is how he had a little dick or that little pinky move that some girls do. I've seen him do it. It's so sad to watch some other guy have to fight back on that. And God forbid you had a micro penis, for crying out loud. Could you imagine? I'm sorry to all the guys listening. Because you're out there who has a micro penis. Please. It doesn't make you less of. Just tell better jokes. That's it. Just be a good joke teller. That's all you got. And in this day and age where you can swap out your micropene for a vagina. Go do it. Just go do it. You have. That's the times that I think those guys probably. I bet you all micropenis guys voted for Kamala based on that commercial that said you could go to jail and.

[Brett Vesely]

Get swapped out white dudes for Kamala.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. I bet you they all had micro dicks. And that's why no black guys voted for. Like, she's trying to make us.

[Brett Vesely]

Girl, hell no.

[John Holmberg]

Hell no. I'm not cutting this up, even if I go to jail. So, yeah, she was trying to get that free for everybody. The micropene guys are like, yes.

[Brady]

But you wonder how many leaders were at that. You never hear too many, like, kings or in. In history that have that Hitler's the most.

[John Holmberg]

Hitler's one that. Well, I mean, a lot of the kings were bad, but, I mean, Hitler stood alone. I mean, I bet you.

[Brady]

And you'd probably never be able to write about that.

[John Holmberg]

Micro dick.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. That people recognize. I don't know.

[Brady]

It wasn't much. Right? I mean, writing it was a small.

[John Holmberg]

Penis, a bigger deal. Before women's rights, women didn't talk about.

[Brady]

If you're post them up on. On doors and, you know, 79 A.D.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, if you're posting penis pictures and stuff.

[Brady]

And that was a sign of hospitality, sure.

[John Holmberg]

But all dicks in play. Like, it seemed like back in the day, ladies just had to take what they took, you know? And actually, if you go back in history, a smaller one used to be the ones the ladies liked. And you have to remember, there was no hygiene back then, so it wasn't like you wanted to go, you know, mining that whole thing too much with. With a bigger auger.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you're just gonna rub up against the outside of it. Get out of there. Yeah.

[Brady]

You don't want a big package. Get it snagged on a log or.

[John Holmberg]

Something, running through maybe the best name ever in our emails, too. Just said, it's a good morning. When the first thing I hear is, I start my truck and the radio comes on and I hear, Hitler had a micro penis. It's gonna be a great day. Signed, Dick Downing. That's a great name, Dick. You don't have to worry about a thing if your name's Dick Downing unless you got a micro penis. But, yeah, they had this whole thing, polygenics, and they think that in the next 10 years, probably, they can assess your DNA and start to manipulate it before the baby's born. It turns into eugenics, where you're like, you want his eyes to be blue. Click. And they move it because they're getting.

[Brett Vesely]

To the point where they're checking options on a car at the dealer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You can do that now and polygenics. It's very strange. I mean, they've been able to talk about it for a while. This, this.

[Brady]

Now they can do it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, this. You know, you saved stem cells when you were, when Kirby was born. I don't know if you bought into that. You didn't. Okay. Some people buy the core blood and all that, keep it in their fridge for later. So in case technology advances, you still have the ability to go back to the core blood and do stuff with that. Yeah. To fight diseases. They don't really have much for now that's kind of out of the way now. And they can manufacture the DNA early. And so if you're like always neurodivergent or he's got a real, he's got a real leaning towards that. They do that with mental retardation. Right. They tell you when your kid's in there, it's like if they find out they can know early, they'd be like, what do you want to do about it? There's a chance horrifying. Right. And they tell you there's like an 80% chance it's going to come out goofy. And then parents are like, well, what do we do now? They can now do that and then change it. Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

How many dads are going to be checking the Lex Steel size on kids thing when that happens?

[John Holmberg]

Another reason that I'm responsible and not stupid for not having kids, because if this happened and I, you know, there was eugenics and polygenics out there and they're like, he's got a micropenis. He's leaning heavy towards micropenis. I'm like, oh, let's roto rooter that out before I get to know him and we'll start fresh with another one. I'm not putting that kid out there and having a Hitler. Now, it doesn't mean if you have micropenis you're going to be Hitler, but it means that if you have a micro penis, you're probably going to be Hitler. I mean, why wouldn't you be? You gotta have. You're not making a mark any other way. I've. I don't, I can't imagine we've ever known anybody with a micro penis. That's normal. I don't think you can be. I think it's just, it's just such a. You can't, you can't just be a normal fella with a micro. There's something really goofy about you.

[Brady]

What is it, like 1 and 15,000 or something like that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was something. Well, we, when we used to do it was always the, the Sun Stadium we used as an example. Every time you're there, there's a couple guys with micro penis. It was less than that. I think it was like one of the like 8. It's not that many, but they're out there. Yeah, that's right. Back in the old days, Brian Jones said big cranks were thought to be a sign of low intelligence. And then, so. But then as time went on, they're like, but they're better. If you have a micro penis, you have to be the Michael Jordan of cunnilingus. That is a fact. But you're not gonna get a lot of chances because once a girl sees that that's what's down there, it's. It's bad. So that's, that's my Thanksgiving great name too. Hitler's DNA blueprint of a dictator. And then they're like, how did the. How did it happen? And they use this science to say, this is. We could have predicted this. But you have to have the baseline of knowing the guy was nuts, then going to his DNA and saying, all right, which markers did he have that leaned him this way? Like, oh, my God. He had all of them. The little bit we know now, he's like, jesus, he's leaning towards crazy in almost every single one of them. And it looks like he's got a micro dick. And they went back in his medical records when he was a kid in Austria, and his left testicle never descended. Also, the whole thing about him being Jew. Remember they said that he was Hitler had Jew. He didn't.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And. But his left testicle didn't fall. And that because of that affects like 15% of people who don't have that happen end up with micro penis or never go through puberty all the way so their pee pees stay childlike. And he also had micropenis DNA to begin with, let alone the ball not coming. Oh, it's great. And it all answers a ton of questions. Probably had a Jewish doctor telling him, your dick's never going to grow. You've got this. And he blamed all the Jews for giving him this diagnosis. And then he went all. Makes sense. Yeah. Now it does. It really does. I bet you Stalin had a little one. I bet you Pol Pot had a little one. I bet you IDI Amin. But, you know, all things relative, he had a little one. He's down in Africa. That's a micro penises. Like, if I carried my penis around in Africa, I would. They'd be like, oh, yeah, so sorry. Like, really? It seems pretty normal in America. Oh, but it is not here. You are going to be some sort of radical dictator. You think? Yes. It's pretty good. It's big as an iPhone. IPhone? What is that, by the way? We don't know what those are. Yeah, that's another reason I don't want to go to Africa with Jani. Go to end up at an African urinal next to a couple of Janny's family members and go, oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

Why do you stand so close to.

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing? Where are you going? To get yourself splashed? No, we're assuming they have plumbing. Come on. I have to stand here. It's going to get a little. Where are your holders? My holders? Yes, the people that hold all the way to the urinal. You have people for that? I must have three or I am a laughingstock of the entire tribe. I just have my hand. Just one.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I ain't going over there for that. I would be the Hitler of Africa. And you don't want that title. That's something you don't want on your. He was the Hitler of Africa. You don't really want that. That's no good. But yeah, that's Aryan DNA on a couch. Mmm, that is so hot. Signed, JD Vance. All right, all right. Also, a thing I saw last night before I went to bed and this bothered me greatly. Remember when we. Remember the argument people had. I called them crazy. And maybe they weren't, you know, in hindsight, with history as our guide, maybe they were right. When older people, back in the early 2000s, way back in the aughts, they say, was saying stuff like, we give gays that kind of right. And God knows what they'll do with the next thing you know, we'll be marrying animals. And you know, you can't have gay. This gay marriage just blah, blah, blah. And they went nuts.

[Brady]

Opens up a can of worms.

[John Holmberg]

And if you give. If you give them that the gay will never end. Everywhere will be gay. Like, ah, you're out of your mind. You're not gay. You won't be gay just because people say you are. I remember arguing with a friend of mine who's a little bit religious about how. Well, if you make. Make it okay for gays, where does it stop? You know, when you marry children, you may. They say you can't help who you love. And then that's the next step. And I'm like, oh, that's crazy. Goes and gay is going to be everywhere. You won't be able to escape it. Everything. Every time you turn around, something else will be gay like that. It has gotten a little bit like that. There's an awful lot of gay stuff, but it's just an acceptance and you know, people, it's not really affecting me. I'm not going to be gay or influenced by the gay. But now this is too far. They're now making sheep try to be gay because they say that gay wool is better for production. So there's a guy out there who says that, and evidently I didn't know this till yesterday, that there are some sheep out there who are homosexual. Twink sheep. Yeah, that they. And if you've ever seen the wool's so soft, a sheep in its natural thing, their asses are just covered in sheep poop. They're never clean. You shear them in like an hour later, there's just dingleberries all around that you can't help it. I used to think when I was. Because my grandpa's farm, we had a couple and they were fun and cute when you're little. And then they just start throwing out the Hershey's Kisses. It's almost like somebody turns a little dial on a candy machine, just tumbles out for like a minute, and then half of it sticks to them. So to be a gay sheep is probably one of the worst gays you can be because it's just fighting through all that wool. It's got to be dry as a bone and then just poop everywhere. Am I wrong? Think about that for a second. Yeah. So this chip ahoyed this guy. Yeah. So it's like Chips Ahoy. It's like there's little chips in there, and they're in the wool. Try to get. Just try to get chocolate out of wool. It's impossible. No, just imagine you're made of it. This guy says gay sheep wool will be used to create couture fashion because homosexuality is part of nature. Wool from sheep that prefer same sex partners is now debuting at the New York fashion shows this month. A collection of knitwear by Los Angeles based designer Michael Schmidt called his collection I Will Survive. And all of his garments were created with gay sheep. And they're going gangbusters. People are buying into it, and it's making things twice as expensive. If the sheep's wool is gay, populations could be limited.

[Brady]

You'd think eventually Charge a premium says.

[John Holmberg]

It'S common practice for farms to cull rams, the male sheep that refuse to mate with ewes. So what this guy's doing is taking out the rams that aren't interested in lady sheep, putting them on a farm altogether, like some sort of weird sheep gay bar. And they're letting them hammer ram each other like crazy. I think Dodge is going to be angry at this and just change the name eventually if this takes hold.

[Brett Vesely]

So it's got the BSW farm over there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a BS west of Sheep. That's my gay sheep impression. It just sounds like a girl with that vocal fry. Scientists have estimated that as many as 9% of RAMs are sexually gay, a stat that led Michael Stuke to found Rainbow Wool, a nonprofit entirely focused on the wool of gay sheep. You got to do a lot of research to find out which ones are doing that, which ones are bisexual and which ones are.

[Brady]

Like, if a ram, you know, in captivity is not mating with any of the females, he's going to rainbow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, yeah, that's right. You're saying he says that he's. If he's. You know, if the Kardashian sheep walks by, and he doesn't even get a little bit plump because that's his only job. They're like, all right, he's gay. And they put him into a pile like a prison. And now there's just a bunch of rams around, and a few of them are like, oh, I still want to do it. Where are the girls? Like, we there? Maybe they're just shy. And then the next thing you know, one gets on another, and it's this big ram gay orgy. But now, yeah, they're saying that the gay wool is selling. Taylor Swift's involved. Cher got in on this because they're big supporters of the gay community. So they're like, somehow or another, this has trickled over to the gaze of humanity and some sort of weird support move. If I was gay, I'd be like, all right, that's enough. We're not animals. This isn't. You know, they're saying it's a human rights. Yeah, they're saying it's a human rights thing. I need to see a video. If I'm buying a wool sweater, and that Sweater is, like, 400 more than the straight wool, I need to see a video of that gay sex happening with my. And I need to see the process that this isn't some sort of scam, because it is.

[Brett Vesely]

So you get. You get, like, a straight wool sweater at. At Walmart, but if you go to, like, you know, or something, then you.

[John Holmberg]

Get the gay stuff or whoever carries. Yeah, you got to go to the. Well, you got to go to the rainbow. Rainbow baba. Some of those baba. Gay sheep. There's what they're making with it. Look at this outfit right here. It's. It's one of those. It's a. Wow. It looks like chain mail, kind of from a knight. He's got no pants. He's got no pants. He's just wearing a sweater that hangs down a little further.

[Brady]

Oh, it doesn't hug around.

[John Holmberg]

It's just a sweater that goes past his penis, and then he's got no pants and then those cool English boots on. So if that takes off, I'll take hetero sheep myself. Then guess what's gonna happen? You're gonna have gay meats, and you'd have, like, a gay butcher shop that only takes bulls and banging other bulls. Homebugs, morning sickness. Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that? 98 KUPD. It's John Holberg here. Time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com I just sat down with TVs Doug Hopkins and we did some TV commercials while we're watching football. So you get to see me sit next to Doug and somehow or another make Doug look pretty. And I'm happy to do it too. I bought and sold houses using Doug Hopkins. So I've been through the process and he's the real deal. He is not going to cancel or change the game with fine print contingencies. Simple cash offer and the deal is done. Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. This guy is adamant that it's happening in in nature all the time that that gay is so accepted now that farm animals are like well yeah, we're in and we're using it and they're going to start charging us more for gay like Wagyu is the dumbest thing in the world. It's good beef. I think their farms make better but I don't know that rubbing beer all over like they do the Kobe and Wagyu. They just give them massages all the time. I don't know if that's worth the extra 80 bucks per slab. Compared movement compared to the. Yeah compared to the. The cows that I mean it's definitely better than Lone Star when you go to a high end place. But I just assume that's just their preparation and their process where and it's not, you know, en masse. You go to Ocean44 and you get a steak. It's been wet aged. It's got this whole thing. They've got a very specific farm they buy from. It's not, you know, hundreds and hundreds of thousands of cows because they have a chain. There's just two or three stores. Right. So they don't have. They have a better choosing process but they, they throw Wagyu at you, and you're like, really? No, they give it massages. I'm like, does the callus meet? Does that matter? Is it that much different? That one is $40 and one's 135.

[Brady]

This is an A12.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know what that means. Does that mean what if. What if the massage therapist sucks? What if your wagyu farm, the guy rubbing your cow is not very good at it? Does that make the meat less or good better? I can't imagine it matters. But you know when it matters is when it's on your plate and then the bill comes. They do 3 ounces at. Catch. 3 ounces of hot rock. Wagyu. 3 ounces. Brady. I can spit that in front of you in the next minute. Hey. And charge extra for it now. Oh, God. That's probably. It's been soaked in. In gay release, and now it's. It's been marinating in gay release. You've got a gay wagyu, but 3 ounces is like. I think it was $85 an ounce. You're not getting any food. We've spent, you know, in Vegas. Catch. They comp it. Thank God. But it was like $3,100 for a table of five to eat wagyu hot rock. It was insane. And I'm sitting there thinking it's good, but is this $3,000 worth of food?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just because somebody said they gave the cow a massage. I mean, that's how you get laid at 2am you walk up to the end of the bar, you give the cow a massage. She's like, contact, contact. And then you go home.

[Brady]

That's free.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, here's another outfit they're making with gay wool. This guy's in a jock strap and a half shirt carrying a football. All right, enough. So not only did the gay wool make better clothes, evidently it makes it gayer clothes because the. I didn't see, like, a nice shirt and pants most of the time. The gay wool comes to make tight underpants and sweaters that don't go past your ball. No pants so far. I don't think they can make pants improving that. Oh, wait, no, they can. It's a fireman.

[Brady]

There we go.

[John Holmberg]

In just pants. So gay wool is only for gay clothes. We gotta slow down a little bit about this. So the gays. You. You're the ones that have to be upset about it. Stop making it. So if. And you start getting. My neighbors Michael and Troy start having to pay extra for gay clothes. They already Pay a lot for their high fashion. Now you add a little gay will to that, they're not gonna be happy about it. You start taking their money. Rainbow wool. That's what you look. And it's. They used.

[Brady]

I'd like to see that guy visit the farms and choose the ones.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the ones that are just. Yeah, I would actually like to see it. Could you imagine the smell? Sheep already stink and now you're plugging them from behind. Forget it.

[Brady]

I think he sees them bumping heads. They're ramming each other.

[John Holmberg]

All right. This guy said he partnered with Rainbow Wool and Grinder and made a 36 piece collection for Manhattan's. I know. I'm with you on that. It's just almost. Almost enough to just shut her down. It's an animal rights story and a gay rights story. That's what they keep saying. Human rights and animal rights coming together and it's. They spelled coming funny. I don't know. I don't know what's going on here. I. Stop it. That's enough gays. My friend Jesse asked, do they have gay lesbian wool? That would be good, pulling the wool. The lesbians said they love wool. Yeah. Where you catch a couple of sheep out there scissoring in the middle of the farm and like, whoa.

[Brett Vesely]

Come on, man.

[John Holmberg]

That wool's going to be twice as much. Tell you what, man, I like watching that, man. I was out there, two sheep, man. The ram walked by and they just said, get out of here, man. And then they got some wind chimes and moved in together and started the scissor. It's a good question. Is lesbian wool more?

[Brady]

It's got a real tight. It's long on one side, tight on the other side.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we got our lesbian friend Jay out there. Farmer Jay, Guten talk. Tell you what, man. I was out there, I was slapping the hogs, if you know what I mean. And I looked over and I'm like that sheep over there going down on that other one, man. What's going on there, man? That's oral. And so I. I shaved them, man. I sheared him. Shave big. Shaved. And they started to do it some more. So that's some. Some dyke wool we got out there, man. And I'm going for it. That's extra.

[Brady]

Then you'll have the religious one. We'll be out of wall. They keep pushing this agenda.

[John Holmberg]

A farmer J man out here taking care of the gay animals. My grandpa had a farm, and.

[Commercial Announcer]

I.

[John Holmberg]

Don'T think I ever remember any of the animals.

[Brady]

9% no.

[Brett Vesely]

You remember the sheep prancing around?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sheep are kind of gay anyway. They kind of do gay stuff. But the mean ones don't. They smash. Kids, let me just tell you that you learn as a. As a. As a grandson of a farmer, you learn fast that sheep are the ones to worry about. Cows, they just look at you. Horses, you don't walk behind them. Sheep hang out with the kids and then just lose their minds every once in a while and just bludgeon you. I was smashed up against a barn wall by a sheep. And he didn't let go. He just took his head and just walloped my little 5 year old body up against the side of a wall. And he was strong.

[Brady]

And they battle each other for the punani.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, not these. Not these, Brady.

[Brett Vesely]

These are for battlefield.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. These guys don't. The ones we're talking about, they're not fighting for poonanny. These are the ones that sit back and fight for. Well, they probably have dance offs and stuff. That's all they're doing is just like fierce shantae sashay. But yeah, they. They're like for no reason at all. You just be hanging out with a bunch of sheep and you're squishing his back. He's adorable. And then one will just look, boom. And just smash. And then the other sheep kind of just keep eating, but they side eye it like, nice. None of them are ever like, hey, hey, Terry, why'd you do that for? It's just a kid. No, they're all kind of happy with it.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds like this on the farm.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Hey, guys. So it's mating season, huh? What do you guys want to do? Not you. What are you dancing for? The mating ritual on our side of the farm. You guys are gay sheep, right? Way to go, Sherlock Holmes. You don't want me at all. It's gross.

[Brady]

The fences aren't even wire. They're glass.

[John Holmberg]

They're awesome. They've got bars and lights. Who designed this farm? The farmer, of course. My wool is better than her wall. Oh. It should be sold for a much higher price. They don't bleep. They just go. Tell you what, man, that. That ram over there is blowing that other rim, man. We got gay sheep. That's a awesome. That's high prices, man. That's a real story we're doing. That's a real thing in the world. That's a. That's happening. And it's dangerous to say it's stupid because they're making it about Gay rights. Not just gay sheep. Like the dude in the story is all about. Like, no, this is gay rights. This is. Animals need to be recognized as gay, too. And if you don't like those, then you don't like any gays at all. Like, they make it like this all or nothing kind of proposition to say if you think this is silly. You hate gay people. And that's not true at all. I'm just. I think you're a creep for standing at a farm, watching a couple sheep butt each other and then like, say, that's awesome. I think that's weird. I don't think you should. I don't think you should know if a sheep is gay, like, at all. I don't think you should be like, that's the gay one. How do you know? I wish I didn't. But I saw it. I saw it happening right before my eyes. They're not really discreet like real human gays. They walk around. That one's pretty flamboyant. And he just loves that Ronin song, that Pink Pony Club. My God, that guy can't get enough of it. He plays it constantly in the farm. So check your wool today. You might have one of those straight wool. And really, it's kind of a shot at us straights. Your wallets cruddy. Gay. Well, is better. Making gay more expensive and more valuable is designer. That kind of trickles over into human life. So maybe your grandparents were right. Give them an inch, they'll take them out. Next thing you know, you'd be talking about gay sheep. Oh, Grandpa, you're insane. Mark my words, there's gonna be homosexual sheep somewhere in your future. Oh, Grandpa's lost it. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Sorry about Grandpa. He's a little bit behind. Turns out if he was still alive, if you went to his grave, you'd hear from a muffled under that dirt. There it is, right in front of you. Anyway, weird way to start our Thanksgiving show. It is time for a wake up song. 585-9-800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98k video. Wake up, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.