Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 98KUPD

Episode: 11-28-25 FULL SHOW: Black Friday – Holmberg’s Morning Sickness 98KUPD BO
Date: November 28, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Crew: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness is a rowdy post-Thanksgiving (Black Friday) edition, brimming with the usual irreverent banter, male camaraderie, and sharp-witted takes on pop culture, current events, sports, and life’s absurdities. John Holmberg and his crew riff on everything from "No Nut November" and Bill Belichick’s new young girlfriend, to Suns game antics, unsolicited life advice, Arizona’s dark missing bodies stat, and the peculiarities of human fetish. The show is packed with stories, social commentary, and playful mockery, embodying the unapologetic, blue-collar humor their audience loves.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. No Nut November: Medical & Masculine Realities

Timestamps: 03:30 – 07:00

• Holmberg passionately rails against "No Nut November," citing medical arguments about the importance of regular male sexual activity.
• Discusses how abstaining can lead to lower stamina and possible ED, and jokingly frames alternative prostate awareness campaigns.
• Example quote:

  “A month off of masturbating is terrible for you … No nut November, I'm firmly against it.” – John Holmberg (04:37)

2. Bill Belichick and His Mermaid: Age Gap & Social Double Standards

Timestamps: 06:50 – 13:00

• The crew reviews viral Halloween photos of Bill Belichick with his 24-year-old girlfriend dressed as a mermaid.
• They riff on why older men date younger women—less “challenge,” more fun—and the outrage this causes among women, especially in talk show circles.
• Holmberg praises Belichick’s “win” and mocks the TV outrage, turning it into social commentary on relationships and double standards.
• Notable quote:

  "We're off to the ocean ... I'm running out of time to have fun, and the last thing I want is some broad in my kitchen challenging me at every turn." – John Holmberg (08:30)

• Discussion of why men don't seek "challenges" at that stage of life; they just want peace and fun.

3. Suns Game Shenanigans: No-Pants Spectator

Timestamps: 22:10 – 27:00

• Holmberg tells a hilarious story from a recent Suns game, where a woman attended wearing just a shirt and no pants.
• Crew discusses the double standard (“If a guy did it, he’d get kicked out”), the cultural shift where attractive women get a pass, and the state of public modesty.
• Quote:

  “She looked like Livy Dunn … she just had no pants. So I just looked at it and I was waiting for her to move around so I could see something else.” – John Holmberg (24:15)

• Considers the "OnlyFans" economy and why some people unabashedly flaunt themselves in public.

4. Arizona’s Unidentified Bodies: The Mob, The Desert, & Black Humor

Timestamps: 30:41 – 41:00

• Arizona’s #2 ranking for unidentified bodies becomes a jumping-off point for jokes about mob history, the witness relocation program, and the state’s criminal underbelly.
• Deadpan role-play about how citizens might respond to an investigator looking for missing persons.
• Quote:

  “California is number one at 2,952 unidentified bodies. Arizona second: 2,125. So we’re 800 people behind California—a state with 35 million people.” – John Holmberg (33:30)

5. Holiday Movie Season & Hallmark Channel Satire

Timestamps: 47:55 – 56:35

• Crew teases Brady about watching "Christmas Island" on the Hallmark Channel, mocking the plot, acting, and general sappiness.
• They lampoon the logic and predictability of Hallmark movies, with continued ribbing about “cucking” yourself for holiday content with your partner.
• Quote:

  "Two nights ago you’re arguing about politics. Then last night you're watching some innocuous nonsense with your wife. Did it result in an old fashioned or anything? Good, because if you sat through that thing, she owes you one." – John Holmberg (50:46)

6. Kiss Cam at Sporting Events: Double Standards & Aging

Timestamps: 57:15 – 62:46

• Holmberg jokes that he'd rather see gay men make out on the Kiss Cam than elderly couples, launching into an extended rant on what should and shouldn’t be televised at games.
• Unfiltered sex, body, and age humor.
• Quote:

  "Kissing dies pretty much 10 to 12 days after you're married... and then in your 60s, if you’re doing it at all, it’s just cream corn and spit.” – Holmberg (59:41)

7. Odd News & Science: No Holds Barred

Timestamps: 65:46 – 90:14

• News of a guy fired for printing 100 pages of kids’ homework at work leads to riffing on workplace snooping, employee surveillance, and the woes of modern jobs.
  • “I’m not saying it should pay better … it is what it is.” – Holmberg (97:01)
• Science news with Professor Brady Bogan: Vampire bats on treadmills, plankton, wood satellites, and Somali pirates ("smally pirates").
• Extended riffing on word slips and the value of playful self-mockery in the group.

8. Fetish Corner: Fart Attraction (“Aproctophilia”)

Timestamps: 109:13 – 121:56

• A listener email about a woman who gets turned on by farts leads to a deep—if gross—dive into sexual fetishes, their psychological roots, and what they reveal about trauma, boundaries, and personal disgust.
• Quote:

  "There’s a woman right now getting farted on and just chowing down … And if you’ve got a girl and you fart and she goes, 'Oh my God', assume sexual abuse in her past, that’s it.” – Holmberg (118:03)

• The crew riff on bodily functions, boundaries, and “red flags” for fetishes, with no filter.

9. The Entertainment Drill & Hot Topics

Timestamps: 124:34 – 134:05

• Rapid-fire pop culture and entertainment news:
  • Who would fictional TV and movie characters vote for (Trump vs. Harris).
  • Top sexiest bald men (Danny DeVito's inclusion shocks everyone).
  • Jessica Rabbit deemed “too ho-ish” for Disney sequels.
  • Roger Rabbit voice actor story, and Brady’s awkward encounter.
  • Mockery of celebrity culture, “shine factor,” and beauty standards.

10. Guadalupe Squares Game Show

Timestamps: 138:00 – 159:22

• Black Friday’s hilarious, shambolic version of their signature “Guadalupe Squares” features crew members as irreverent celebrity and political impersonations (Trump, Biden, Gordon Ramsay, Tracy Morgan, Robert DeNiro, Gene Simmons, and more).
• Quick-witted audience interactions and prize games, highlighting the show’s improvisational spotlight and signature characters.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On No Nut November:
  "A month off of masturbating is terrible for you … No nut November, I'm firmly against it."
  — Holmberg (04:37)

• On Age-Gap Relationships: "The only people upset about it are single women post-50 who are like ‘why can’t I have Bill Belichick’s money?’ Because you don’t look like her. She’s spectacular.”
  — Holmberg (07:50)

• On the Kiss Cam: "I don’t want to see a 70-something year old person take their clothes off and then start frenching a person. I would have gay sex performed on me – just stop that."
  — Holmberg (59:57)

• On Work Surveillance: "Anytime bosses come in and hand you a piece of paper that says, here's 12 things you don't do good, I wouldn't sign that right away."
  — Holmberg (95:03)

• On Fart Fetishes:
  "There's a woman right now getting farted on and just chowing down … That's a good red flag right there. Assume sexual abuse in her past, that's it."
  — Holmberg (118:03)

Episode Tone and Style

The crew brings their signature blend of brash, male-centric, and unfiltered humor to every topic. They aren’t afraid to tackle taboo subjects or mock themselves and each other for slips, tics, and oddities. The overall vibe is irreverent, bro-ish, and rapid-fire; while some segments push boundaries, there’s an undertone of warmth among the crew and towards their local Phoenix audience. The show’s unique draw is its blend of quick-witted commentary, relatable local references, and a willingness to “go there” for comedy.

Listening Recommendation

This episode is for those who enjoy comedy that’s raw, un-PC, and conversational—with rapid-fire riffs, sports culture jabs, and gleeful mockery of modern social norms. While not for delicate sensibilities, it’s a great snapshot of Arizona’s favorite shock-jock show at its holiday, post-Thanksgiving best.

Ad/Promo Material, Intros, and Outros have been omitted for focus on main content.