11-28-25 - FULL SHOW - BLACK FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD BO

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 98KUPD

Episode: 11-28-25 FULL SHOW: Black Friday – Holmberg’s Morning Sickness 98KUPD BO
Date: November 28, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Crew: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness is a rowdy post-Thanksgiving (Black Friday) edition, brimming with the usual irreverent banter, male camaraderie, and sharp-witted takes on pop culture, current events, sports, and life’s absurdities. John Holmberg and his crew riff on everything from "No Nut November" and Bill Belichick’s new young girlfriend, to Suns game antics, unsolicited life advice, Arizona’s dark missing bodies stat, and the peculiarities of human fetish. The show is packed with stories, social commentary, and playful mockery, embodying the unapologetic, blue-collar humor their audience loves.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. No Nut November: Medical & Masculine Realities

Timestamps: 03:30 – 07:00

• Holmberg passionately rails against "No Nut November," citing medical arguments about the importance of regular male sexual activity.
• Discusses how abstaining can lead to lower stamina and possible ED, and jokingly frames alternative prostate awareness campaigns.
• Example quote:

  “A month off of masturbating is terrible for you … No nut November, I'm firmly against it.” – John Holmberg (04:37)

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2. Bill Belichick and His Mermaid: Age Gap & Social Double Standards

Timestamps: 06:50 – 13:00

• The crew reviews viral Halloween photos of Bill Belichick with his 24-year-old girlfriend dressed as a mermaid.
• They riff on why older men date younger women—less “challenge,” more fun—and the outrage this causes among women, especially in talk show circles.
• Holmberg praises Belichick’s “win” and mocks the TV outrage, turning it into social commentary on relationships and double standards.
• Notable quote:

  "We're off to the ocean ... I'm running out of time to have fun, and the last thing I want is some broad in my kitchen challenging me at every turn." – John Holmberg (08:30)

• Discussion of why men don't seek "challenges" at that stage of life; they just want peace and fun.

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3. Suns Game Shenanigans: No-Pants Spectator

Timestamps: 22:10 – 27:00

• Holmberg tells a hilarious story from a recent Suns game, where a woman attended wearing just a shirt and no pants.
• Crew discusses the double standard (“If a guy did it, he’d get kicked out”), the cultural shift where attractive women get a pass, and the state of public modesty.
• Quote:

  “She looked like Livy Dunn … she just had no pants. So I just looked at it and I was waiting for her to move around so I could see something else.” – John Holmberg (24:15)

• Considers the "OnlyFans" economy and why some people unabashedly flaunt themselves in public.

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4. Arizona’s Unidentified Bodies: The Mob, The Desert, & Black Humor

Timestamps: 30:41 – 41:00

• Arizona’s #2 ranking for unidentified bodies becomes a jumping-off point for jokes about mob history, the witness relocation program, and the state’s criminal underbelly.
• Deadpan role-play about how citizens might respond to an investigator looking for missing persons.
• Quote:

  “California is number one at 2,952 unidentified bodies. Arizona second: 2,125. So we’re 800 people behind California—a state with 35 million people.” – John Holmberg (33:30)

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5. Holiday Movie Season & Hallmark Channel Satire

Timestamps: 47:55 – 56:35

• Crew teases Brady about watching "Christmas Island" on the Hallmark Channel, mocking the plot, acting, and general sappiness.
• They lampoon the logic and predictability of Hallmark movies, with continued ribbing about “cucking” yourself for holiday content with your partner.
• Quote:

  "Two nights ago you’re arguing about politics. Then last night you're watching some innocuous nonsense with your wife. Did it result in an old fashioned or anything? Good, because if you sat through that thing, she owes you one." – John Holmberg (50:46)

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6. Kiss Cam at Sporting Events: Double Standards & Aging

Timestamps: 57:15 – 62:46

• Holmberg jokes that he'd rather see gay men make out on the Kiss Cam than elderly couples, launching into an extended rant on what should and shouldn’t be televised at games.
• Unfiltered sex, body, and age humor.
• Quote:

  "Kissing dies pretty much 10 to 12 days after you're married... and then in your 60s, if you’re doing it at all, it’s just cream corn and spit.” – Holmberg (59:41)

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7. Odd News & Science: No Holds Barred

Timestamps: 65:46 – 90:14

• News of a guy fired for printing 100 pages of kids’ homework at work leads to riffing on workplace snooping, employee surveillance, and the woes of modern jobs.
  • “I’m not saying it should pay better … it is what it is.” – Holmberg (97:01)
• Science news with Professor Brady Bogan: Vampire bats on treadmills, plankton, wood satellites, and Somali pirates ("smally pirates").
• Extended riffing on word slips and the value of playful self-mockery in the group.

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8. Fetish Corner: Fart Attraction (“Aproctophilia”)

Timestamps: 109:13 – 121:56

• A listener email about a woman who gets turned on by farts leads to a deep—if gross—dive into sexual fetishes, their psychological roots, and what they reveal about trauma, boundaries, and personal disgust.
• Quote:

  "There’s a woman right now getting farted on and just chowing down … And if you’ve got a girl and you fart and she goes, 'Oh my God', assume sexual abuse in her past, that’s it.” – Holmberg (118:03)

• The crew riff on bodily functions, boundaries, and “red flags” for fetishes, with no filter.

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9. The Entertainment Drill & Hot Topics

Timestamps: 124:34 – 134:05

• Rapid-fire pop culture and entertainment news:
  • Who would fictional TV and movie characters vote for (Trump vs. Harris).
  • Top sexiest bald men (Danny DeVito's inclusion shocks everyone).
  • Jessica Rabbit deemed “too ho-ish” for Disney sequels.
  • Roger Rabbit voice actor story, and Brady’s awkward encounter.
  • Mockery of celebrity culture, “shine factor,” and beauty standards.

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10. Guadalupe Squares Game Show

Timestamps: 138:00 – 159:22

• Black Friday’s hilarious, shambolic version of their signature “Guadalupe Squares” features crew members as irreverent celebrity and political impersonations (Trump, Biden, Gordon Ramsay, Tracy Morgan, Robert DeNiro, Gene Simmons, and more).
• Quick-witted audience interactions and prize games, highlighting the show’s improvisational spotlight and signature characters.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On No Nut November:
  "A month off of masturbating is terrible for you … No nut November, I'm firmly against it."
  — Holmberg (04:37)

• On Age-Gap Relationships: "The only people upset about it are single women post-50 who are like ‘why can’t I have Bill Belichick’s money?’ Because you don’t look like her. She’s spectacular.”
  — Holmberg (07:50)

• On the Kiss Cam: "I don’t want to see a 70-something year old person take their clothes off and then start frenching a person. I would have gay sex performed on me – just stop that."
  — Holmberg (59:57)

• On Work Surveillance: "Anytime bosses come in and hand you a piece of paper that says, here's 12 things you don't do good, I wouldn't sign that right away."
  — Holmberg (95:03)

• On Fart Fetishes:
  "There's a woman right now getting farted on and just chowing down … That's a good red flag right there. Assume sexual abuse in her past, that's it."
  — Holmberg (118:03)

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Episode Tone and Style

The crew brings their signature blend of brash, male-centric, and unfiltered humor to every topic. They aren’t afraid to tackle taboo subjects or mock themselves and each other for slips, tics, and oddities. The overall vibe is irreverent, bro-ish, and rapid-fire; while some segments push boundaries, there’s an undertone of warmth among the crew and towards their local Phoenix audience. The show’s unique draw is its blend of quick-witted commentary, relatable local references, and a willingness to “go there” for comedy.

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Listening Recommendation

This episode is for those who enjoy comedy that’s raw, un-PC, and conversational—with rapid-fire riffs, sports culture jabs, and gleeful mockery of modern social norms. While not for delicate sensibilities, it’s a great snapshot of Arizona’s favorite shock-jock show at its holiday, post-Thanksgiving best.

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Ad/Promo Material, Intros, and Outros have been omitted for focus on main content.

Transcript

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[A]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[B]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[A]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

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[A]

It's really that simple. There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your fire. Hey, it's John Holberg here from the Morning Sickness and I'm thrilled to tell you about my friends at Turf Monsters. I got an email from a listener who said he bought a house with a turf backyard, said the Turf was about 10 years old, maybe older, and he said it flat out stunk, smelled terrible. Turf Monsters went out, did a turf maintenance on it and fixed it all. If you can think of a backyard dream, they can do it. Sport courts, pergolas, lighting of all kinds, barbecue stuff, hardscape plants. Anything you can think of Turf Monsters can do. Tell them Holmberg sent you. Get 10% off your new dream yard, turfmonstersaz. Com. You're listening to the HMS Podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holberg here from the Morning Sickness to talk to you about my friends at Trajan Wealth. A man who had quite a bit of money and a whole bunch of stuff decided to write up on his computer his will and trust. The day before he passed, he rewrote the entire thing. The old document was deleted and the new one was timestamped by the computer one day before he died. The court told the man's son that the document wasn't legal. Call the team at Trajan Wealth. Sit down and take care of this so your family doesn't go through anything awful. Getting a plan together is so much easier than procrastinating. Call 480-990-3300. Trajan Wealth Legal services are offered through Trajan estate law firm LLC. For 60 years, Fisher Tools has been the Valley's trusted source for quality, precision and power. Family owned and operated for three generations. We're proud to be a local Tempe business offering the best tools and supplies for every construction job. With the largest selection of power tools in the Valley. From Milwaukee to Makeda to DeWalt, we got everything you need to get the job done right. We're known for having everything in stock because our slogan is if we don't have it, we can't see why. We've been the Valley's go to for tools for over 60 years. Visit Fisher Tools today in store or [e-mail] Looking for the best football spot in town? Look no further than Hooters with wall to wall TVs, all the games and the best specials anywhere. We have you covered. Select Big Daddy Beers starting at only $4 and the Hooties pick three for only $10.99 per person. It's a game changer. Honestly, where else can you go get two beers, an appetizer, two entrees and two additional non al drinks for under $30? Nowhere. So head to Hooters, your game day headquarters. All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed. The Best of Homburg's Morning Sickness this is the Big Red radio. It's pretty good, but it is November now and I watched a special last night of a a doctor saying that no nut November is actually one of the worst things you could do as a man. And here's the fear of it all. It's like you think you're being cute and funny. The medical reasons to masturbate are if you don't use it, you lose it. No problem. Truth? Not a problem for me either. And erectile dysfunction happens to people who don't do that on a regular Basis. Prostate cancer, it's a tougher one. You really have to stop doing it for a long time. But the month long thing of taking it off also kills your ability to have stamina. When you do start getting back on the hobby horse and you, you won't last long and everything. A month off of masturbating is terrible for you. This is the. We got to find a new way to make, you know, prostate. Prostate cancer awareness, let's say make it a. Like wear a hat, have hats. So all hat November. There's a day you don't. You just always wear a hat. There's no jerking off thing is the dumbest thing ever. And I've had three or four friends who. You're going to participate. I'm like, no, I've already. I'm already done. I broke it. It's. It's the 1st of November. I woke up in the middle of the night. I couldn't get back to sleep. Guess what I did? And it was November 1st. I'm already out.

[B]

Forgot about the no nut November.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There last night I tried, but my hand had a headache.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Your hand is even rejecting you. And I can just tell, Matthia, you know how lucky you are I'm not participating. Stamina. Yeah. No prostitute.

[B]

No.

[A]

Erectile dysfunction. You're a lucky woman to have me doing. And if you're, if you're one of those guys that's gotten a soft squishy and you think you're still getting it done, you're trying to push it in holes. That it, you know, then the holes fight back. Well, that's because you're not, you're not using enough. It's an exercise. So no nut November. I'm firmly against it. And you know who I don't thank guys for it either. The great and powerful. And now my hero. Hated him. For probably 25 years, I hated this man. Suddenly he's become my idol, Mr. Bill Belichick. Did you see Coach Bill in his Halloween costume? No. He's a fisherman and he's got a 24 year old mermaid on a fishing line. He threw her in the ocean. He did the whole pose in the ocean. He's standing there in waders. She's laying down in the ice cold ocean in a mermaid costume with her head up, begging for more of Bill. And Bill is just sitting there smiling. I watched a one of those girl talk shows yesterday, showed that picture of him with the mermaid. And Bill is. Bill is my age older, my entire life older than this girl. He's 52 years older than her. Look at that. And they went out to the ocean, hired a photographer and he's just dressed up as a fisherman in waiters jeans and a coat and a hat. And she is absolutely gorgeous laying there. She's like 26, 27. He's 70 something and. Or she's like 25. He's 77. My hero. Anyway, totally all men are like, nice work, man. These ladies on this show yesterday were so goddamn mad at Bill Belichick, I couldn't get enough of it. Their. Their big, their big pushback was there's something wrong with him. There's just something wrong with him. Why doesn't he want to be with somebody age appropriate? Does he not like being challenged by an intelligent woman? And all I'm thinking is that's your cell. He's 70. To argue with me. You want to come over and bark at me and challenge me? Of course I don't want that. That sounds awful. This girl wants to just play dress up, lay in the ocean. You want to play pretend you caught me out of the ocean as a fish, I'll dress up. Yeah, I'm gonna want to do that. That sounds like something I'm gonna want to do. We're off to the ocean. And the end. So he's having the time of his life.

[B]

He's working out. He doesn't want to have to go through no nut.

[A]

20, 25, right.

[B]

I want that thing working.

[A]

When's the last time a 70 year old woman's us as a mermaid and we can play. Last time you wanted to see a. Exactly. They said he was sick, he had mental disorders. I'm like, all this guy's done is deal for his whole entire career is deal with guys in their early 20s. He can relate to these people. So he's got himself this 25 year old and the only people upset about it on the planet are single women post 50 years old who are like, why can't I have Bill Belichick's money? Because you don't look like her. She's spectacular. And she's finding, you know who the thing is. She's finding ways to relate to him. He's the one that's unrelatable. But you know what's really the universal symbol of relatability? The fact that this dude's loaded. He's Bill Belichick. She finds that to be amazing. She wore a shirt, his New York Giants 1986 Champions T shirt. I'm like, this is. She's a big Fan. This is exactly how a guy wants to check out in life. He doesn't have a wife. He didn't grow old with anyone. So why wouldn't you go out and get yourself some young mermaid who's like, I'll just. I'll just be a plaything and have some fun with you. You want to have some fun?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm running out of time to have fun, and the last thing I want is some broad in my kitchen challenging me at every turn, thinking that that's my psychological equal. No, thank you. Put the mermaid costume on. Let's go play fisherman again.

[B]

She wakes up like, what is she doing here? Why is she. Oh, you know what? I'm good with it, okay? I'm over.

[A]

Real grateful every day. There's no question if he. If he is normal, he sits there and thinks to himself, I don't know what she's doing, but I'm not asking any question. Not one. She dressed up as a mermaid, okay? Look at that shot. I know. She's begging for Belichick from the ocean floor. That's a pretty elaborate mermaid copy. Yeah, she's spectacular. And she looks fun. She's always smiling. The last thing she says, you know what I need to do today? Challenge Bill. Why? Why do you want to challenge him? Why is that the big. You want an intellectual partner? What does that mean? We're gonna argue all day? Well, it means I'm gonna. If I don't, like, I've got something to say. Oh, God, no. I'll take the other one. Here comes the sweatpants.

[B]

Great.

[A]

She's in sweatpants. She's got ice cream, and she's got something on her mind. Great. This night's gonna. Meanwhile, this one can't stop doing back bends, man. And, you know, you're taking her over to the Louvre in France, and she's doing back bends and wants her picture on Instagram. Okay. Bill is on the other end of her camera constantly.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Why don't you walk down the stairs and that's like a little girl. I'll take some photos. We'll put them on your Insta face. Okay? You're fun. That's what people always say about me. I'm. I'm the king of fun. He's my hero. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, onto the next vacation.

[A]

Boy, those ladies were mad, though. And then they got mad at her. There's something wrong with her, too, you know, to want to be with a man like that. A wealthy, famous, awesome guy. What's wrong with her? I want to be with Bill Belichick. And I hated the Patriots. Hell, I hang out with Dale Hellestra. That's as close as I can get to professional football and have real conversation with somebody who's been in the know. I'll take it. Don't you want a woman that'll come into your life with some life experiences that'll talk to you about current events? Good Christ. No, you're awful. No, I don't. I'm hanging out with Belichick over Hell street with these pictures, man. Of course. Are you kidding me? I just want to shake his hand and he would say the same thing. I don't know how I did it either. It's great being the goat. I don't question it. He's the greatest coach of all time. You want to talk about life experiences? This. This lady is probably just getting lesson after lesson from one of the smartest people that's ever walked the planet. He's a philosopher. He's a motivator. She's the lucky one here. I just took a look at another picture. They're both pretty lucky, but I loved watching that. I loved their argument. And none of them were like, hey, come on, ladies, you'd have done it when you were 25. Multi millionaire superstar, maybe. He's a ton of fun. What do they have in common? That's the fun part. She's teaching him about stuff. He's teaching her about stuff. Maybe they got nothing in common, but they're each introducing each other to brand new worlds. It sounds amazing.

[B]

Ask him, what do you think of my drip? He's learning all sorts of stuff. Terminology, right?

[A]

Yeah. He's running around eating glizzies and understanding what no cap means. It's great. Good for Bill and the only people. No. You didn't see one 20 year old girl upset about it. That's gross. Wow, that sounds pretty awesome. All the young girls are like, what's so upsetting about this? 20 year olds are like, I gotta go to the gym now. Ladies. It is gross. If it's like Brady and he's with like, we'd find that to be strange because we don't understand that you have a nice personality, but you don't have to. Millions of dollars and. And fame.

[B]

So you'd think it's gross if I was with 24 year old.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking about it right now. I better break Mike puke. You're not. Don't worry about it. No, everybody knows it's not a thing. Don't worry. About it. We're not doing it. None of us in this room are like, 70s. In our 70s. Like, you know, I'm pretty viable. I used to be someone. It's like, no, you're. You're not. You're nothing. There is something wrong with the both of you in that case. But it's Bill Belichick. It's different. Totally different. I like it because his. The parents of that girl are younger than the age gap. They're in their 40s.

[B]

Wonder how often he gets calls from buddies or like that are single, you know, haven't been married for years.

[A]

Does she have any sisters out of high school?

[B]

Friends?

[A]

Yeah. You think Tom Brady's calling him up loaded?

[B]

Friends.

[A]

Tom's pro. Like, hey, coach, what's going on? I. You're doing a great job on Fox. Speaking of foxes, let's talk about what you're up to. You got like, a sorority party or something you're hosting, you got going on? Yeah, the girlfriend's gonna bring her friends over this week. We're having a slumber. Okay. I'm gonna need to help you with that. And coming over on Saturday, so. Yeah. And it almost, like, was more like. It almost cemented it more that Bill's doing something right when. And it wasn't the Joy Behar one. It was the other one that looks like the View, but it's not the View, but it was on cable, so I don't even know what it was. I don't think it was the Talk either. I know they got those shows where five broads just yell about everything. Yeah, I think that was it. But, yeah, I, I, I don't know what. I don't know what it was called. Well, there's the View, the Talk, and then, like, the Forum or something. I don't know. Penthouse. I don't know what it was. It was something, but Pen Party. Maybe it was just a one off of five people on a new show I just caught. And the reason I saw it is because as I'm looking, you know, the preview that comes up on YouTube when you're going through the channels is it actually shows what's on at that time. There was a picture of Bill with the mermaid, and I knew it. So I, I hit the okay button. Here we go. I see what they're talking about here. And they were mad. They were mad at Bill big time. And their. Yeah, their big sell was he doesn't have anybody to sit back. And he's afraid of intelligent women. He's afraid of women that's what this is. He's 70. Don't worry. 77. He's, he's been around. He knows. He knows what it's like to be with women.

[B]

You're dumb.

[A]

No, look, here's the thing. I know he was in his 20s at one point, dated 20 year olds, 30s, probably had 30 year olds. He's married for a while. He was 40s in his. At a 40 year old 50. So he's been with a woman from every generation. And now that he's old, he's like, all right, after having sampled everything, I'll take that one. And he goes, he goes back to that. The fun ones. The fun ones. It won't last long. We all know that. But ride it while it's fun. Her too. It's great, you know. And Nicole Smith lasted a while. Yeah, till the old man died. Exactly. This one says, you know what's great about being Belichick? Even if that chick robs him blind, takes 50 million from him, he could reach out to the Jags or Giants tomorrow. Say, you know what? I think I want to get back into coaching. Grab another 50 million and he'd be right back in the game he's trying to do. He's great. Call the Bears. Yeah, we'll take him. Give him 50 million right now. Little slut mermaid stole 50 million from me. So I got to get back in the game. You're hired. You're hired immediately. Thank you, little slut mermaid. Thank you, said the bears. So it's this one says James, says, I have this thing I call can I smell your wiener club. And I believe I just put Bill Belichick in it. The founding member is Pete Davidson. That's right, founding member. I get it. You just want to smell some guy's wiener for like all the kills. And that's how guys brains work. No, ladies in your 50s and 60s, we do not want someone to challenge us. We're not looking for stimulation in the. That's not. No, no.

[B]

No.

[A]

We like a nice conversation. That's fun. We don't the word challenged. Do you want to be challenged? Does anybody go today, 77, I'm going to dinner. And what I hope for is a good challenge. I want it to be easy. I want to sway and flow. Fun, joke around. Last thing I want is challenges. I want a chick dressed as a mermaid giving me a fishing pole going, let's take some pictures. That's the challenges I want. The challenge is the weather on our photo shoot. As you as a mermaid. There's the challenge. I'll accept. What is this, mtv? I gotta go up against CT Tamberelli? Every time I go on a date with you, I need a challenge. I gotta climb a wall and jump down in the lake of fire and see if I pass to the next round. No, thank you. Good for you, Belichick. I've always hated Bill Belichick, but now we're onto legend status. Love you, Bill. Great work. You know that it could be a lesson to all you 60 year old broads that go on TV and start hagging away on everything. Guys, do you know there's no shows of men, just constant. Maybe this one constantly yelling at like closest. Yeah, we're the closest thing. We're the. We're the view for men. Are you kidding me? Shut up. Oprah started it. The man hating Oprah shows.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we just fight back a little bit. Don't you like a challenge? Because when we fight back, all you do is scream that we're misogynists and yell at us. You challenge us and we're supposed to be intellectually stimulated. We challenge you and we're misogynistic.

[B]

It used to be the closest thing was the pre game sports crews on the networks. Now they've incorporated. You gotta have one girl on there.

[A]

Broads have to show up. And you know what? They did. They got a great one in that Carissa Thompson. I haven't heard a word she said.

[B]

No problems.

[A]

All I do is Google her. There's that Carissa Thompson. I wonder if she's got any new photos. Do yourself a favor. This morning and Carissa Thompson, the fappening. Just put those four words in your Google search and enjoy. You're welcome. That's all I'll say. She is intimidatingly pretty. She's on tv. She is intimidatingly good looking.

[B]

And she and Aaron.

[A]

Aaron Andrews. Andrews.

[B]

Do a podcast.

[A]

Yeah, Aaron's fine. She's pretty. But next to Carissa. You're not surviving that. Bill Belichick would probably. They'd yell at him for that one. And she's like 38 years old. Bill Belichick's with some dirty. He's disgusting. Okay. You know it's disgusting. Those Knicks panties you wear. Well, I shouldn't have to.

[B]

I've lived a life where I shouldn't.

[A]

Have to doll up to have some man like me. I notice your hands are ringless. Shut up. He's got seven rings and you're not gonna see any of them. You'll get no rings from the ring king. He's actually ring two from the Giants and six from the Patriots. The dude's got. He needs two more. Two more fingers, you get two more rings, maybe the Bears will get it. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

Yeah. I just, I don't get it. But that is a great picture. That's a great picture. Dressing up as a mermaid and and also 60 year old broads who go on TV getting mad as some 25 year old, you know, male model started to come on to you wanted to dress up as a mermaid. You're gonna. That cat, it shut up.

[B]

It's funny. Just think back in the day when Charlie Chaplin, Tony Randall.

[A]

Yeah, they were 80. Chino's got one. He's got twins or something. He's 83. De Niro. Yeah, we like to keep going. We don't want to be challenged. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station, he said. Fully erected. I have a new favorite app where.

[B]

I can win 5,000 times my cash.

[A]

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See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342. There's more of the best of homework's morning sickness. 98K upd we had a blast. And so that was fun. And then went to the Suns game and the Suns blew it. Although without kd. And that's the second time I've invited Matt Coman to a game and both times right before the game. The first time, Kevin Durant rolled his ankle and was out for a few weeks. And then I asked Matt a while ago and then he confirmed on Friday, yeah, I'll go with you. And I'm like, cool, we're going Sunday night, we'll go. And then like an hour later they announced that or it was that night. Kevin Durant kind of strained his ankle and it wasn't going to play for the rest of the week. He's out for a couple weeks and I'm like, coleman, you're out. That's it. I'm not taking you to games anymore. You hurt Kevin Durant. That's what you do. He's the mush of the Suns. He's a sons mush. It's fun. There was a girl sat next to us with no pants on yesterday. She just wore a shirt. And when she'd sit down, I'm like, nope, there's no pants on because the shirt wasn't getting the job done. When she'd sit down, I'm like, got no pants on. And her shirt becomes like a small shirt. And she looked good. Like normally. That's a pig that would do that. Yeah. No, I had to be told to stop looking. Not by her, by Coleman. What's the matter with you?

[B]

Stop it.

[A]

You're being weird. I'm like, she got no pants on. Somebody with no pants on. You're. You're gonna look at that. Can't help it if you don't wear pants. Don't look at me like I'm the weirdo for staring at you. You have no pants on. You're the weirdo. I'm just a guy acknowledging the fact you got no pants on. But he's giving me elbows.

[B]

Like, stop.

[A]

That's so creepy. And I'm like, creepy. She's wearing no pants. I'm the normal one.

[B]

I would have gone to the team shop, bought a pair of shorts.

[A]

We did, said, hey, we were thinking about that. I said, because Matt and I went go get. We both bought sweatshirts. And I came back and I was like, we should get her a pair of shorts right here so your vagina doesn't touch the seat anymore because it was just out. So were you staring because, like, wow, check her out. Or were you staring because.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

What up, pig? What's this? I was looking. She looked like Livy Dunn. She looked like she was very pretty. And when she sat down with no pants on, it kind of caught my eye that there was a lot of ass cheek, like visible when she sat. And I'm like, that shirt, she's not pulling it down and sitting on it. She's just going straight. You know, she's making a starfish dot on the chair. She's making a. Like her. There's nothing on. And I'm like, there's. She's just. And she. It was like she didn't care. So I didn't either. So I just looked at it and I was waiting for her to move around so I could see something else. She's one of those people who's in her mid to late 20s and she looks good, but you could tell when she'd cross her legs, like, oh, she's been relying on just being pretty for a long time. She doesn't work at it. So in a few years, the little dots that I was seeing on the cross leg are going to turn into bigger dots because she thinks it's just going to last forever. She better be working on a personality about now. She's got about 10 years before it starts to become flawed to a point of like. Remember when she used to look good? It's like a beautiful old gto and then. But nobody takes care of it. Same thing. A lady's like a car maintenance. Maintenance. We all have to do it. But if you. If you were beautiful at one point on the showroom and then a few years go by and you've been sitting out in the sun, there's some oxidation, maybe there's a dent or two. You're like, ah, I remember when this car was beautiful. Now all you're doing is being comped to when you were. And also put some goddamn pants on.

[B]

She could have been Only Fans.

[A]

She wasn't filming anything.

[B]

She could have been almost checking on the game because there's a couple of them better.

[A]

Well, they can only fans all day. What's the point of being an only fans person when you make people pay to see it? And then you're just walking around a game with no pants on. It's too.

[B]

You can see more. You see?

[A]

Absolutely. Yeah. It's free. I'm not. She wasn't handing out cards. That's what I do. If I was on only fans and I'm like, you like what you see here. You can follow this, this, and like, that would make sense. But she just sat down and enjoyed the game with her honey hole touching the seat.

[B]

Pulls the cards out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Here you go.

[A]

Here's some cards. I would have looked like, okay, that's really smart advertising to walk around with your vagina kind of exposed. Smart. Do you want to see more? I think maybe I do. But she did a good job of making it so you never saw anything like, filthy, but she just had no pain. Coleman's, like, gooded, so what? And I'm like, so what? What kind of human being says so what to someone wearing no pants? That's why. That's what got this society into this kind of pickle in the first place. We started turning a blind eye to pantsless people. She's pulling a full Donald Duck right there at the game. And nobody seemed to say, hey, you need pants? No security came up and said, sorry, ma', am. We have, like, there's a pants policy at the Suns game.

[B]

My stunt.

[A]

I can. I can walk around, can pull my skirt down, or it was just a long shirt. And then I noticed that the guy in front of her looked like Cheech and Chong. Handed her his coat to cover her legs. And she took it for a little while. But then I like being no pants more. She gave it back. She had the option. Other people were like, we see that you're having problems with your shirt. No pants. Some broad. My coat to cover. Let me hole up somebody I don't know either. Right. What's wrong with it? Right? Yeah. Hey, Captain, save a ho. Yeah, we all kind of want to see that. So long as it's not, like, permeating the air through smell. We're gonna be all right with that. Like, you've started to notice that. And then she just ate some Wetzel's pretzels right off her lap. How can you not watch that? She went and got a bag of Wetzel's pretzels again, don't make any dipping comments. She didn't dip anything. Bad sign for the future if she's tearing into a full bag of Wetzels, Pretzels, Minis for herself. Because that means this isn't going to last forever. Because right now, she can eat all the carbs she wants, still walk around with no pants.

[B]

My buddy Billy had his drink, and he was trying something new.

[A]

Were you at a bar?

[B]

No, we were at his house. And at the end, just before the second round was ending football, I think we were watching the Cardinal game.

[A]

Yeah, I'm leaving.

[B]

He starts. He has a Mason jar, and it was full. And he's down to the last bit. And he's like, what are these particles.

[A]

In the water in there?

[B]

And I go, let me see that. Hold up. Seven maggots.

[A]

Oh, in the alcohol.

[B]

In the alcohol.

[A]

He drank it almost all the way.

[B]

To the bottom because he used. He goes, well, I use these new. We had these Mason jars for a while. Like, well, just use these. And he's like, I looked at it. That was clean. The filtered ice, everything. It had to come out. The only thing we could basically say, it had to come out of the. The cave. So the cannery process. Oh, must have been open for a while and.

[A]

Oh, man. Was this at your house? No, at his house.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. At least he has to sue himself. See, this is what I'm talking about with these potlucks and stuff. People try to start dicking around with their own things and bringing them in there, thinking it's neat. Next thing you know, you're eating maggots. Harp. Billy's off the list.

[B]

I'm like, that's. You just eat those.

[A]

Like the tequila, like the worm. Right. That's extra credit if you decided to pound those down. Wow.

[B]

These weird laughs. Oh, it's.

[A]

Yeah. Well, there's nothing you can do at that point. At least the alcohol kind of kills the idea. I don't know how heavy the alcohol. Was it like one of those girl drinks in a Mason jar? Like a lemonade, strawberry, chiffon?

[B]

I don't know what it was.

[A]

Wasn't straight alcohol.

[B]

It was one of those vodka drinks.

[A]

Oh, so it was like a white claw type? Yeah, yeah. But it was in a Mason jar. He didn't make those.

[B]

No, he put it in the basement. Oh. Two of them in there. Poured two of them.

[A]

It could have been down in the jar. Well, that's.

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

Didn't come out of the. He.

[B]

He looked. He made sure. He's like, I He goes, I looked at that jar and everything, but I'm like, you know, nothing's confirmed, but they.

[A]

Could have been in the lid or cans open. Yuck. Yeah. And I don't blame him for like, you know, one of those spritzer seltzers that pour it into something cool like a mason jar so you don't walk around with your blueberry cream vodka seltzer. They are good, but you do look like a total twink walk. Skinny bottles. You got their white claw. Yeah, the skinny ones, too.

[B]

It's light.

[A]

It's a pineapple mango. Feeling pretty manly today. Light loafers. Yeah. And you're floating around. The other thing that makes it an all Brett morning is that Arizona has just been ranked number two. Brett. Yeah, number two. All right. In the. In the nation. Better than 50th unidentified bodies. Oh, come on. Yeah, there's a non profit.

[B]

He's a little disappointed.

[A]

I saw that. Yeah, we should be number one. I'm watching the news last night, like, oh, geez. Bret day. So, yeah, the. They call it the DNA Doe project. It's a non profit that's going to try to help out identify all these bodies they just keep finding strewn all over Brett's area. No, no, no, no. So it's basically a. A nonprofit to try to lower the number of. Like to start identifying things and kind of drop us down out of the top three of states with unidentified bodies. I tell you, the reason. I know support that. Look, I know the reason it's happening just between you and I, Brett, look over there. We became the place for witness relocation in the 50s and 60s. Allegedly. No, we did. And you know, they might have changed their names, but they didn't change their mindsets. So they came out here and started. And they started businesses, mostly pizza parlors. Way to stay incognito. They'd start like Italian restaurants or scrapyards or waste management things, you know, hey, laundering businesses. The same thing. Same things they did back in Jersey they brought here. And then we have unidentified bodies. No one's talking. I bet you Vegas is. I bet you Nevada is number one. That would be my guess. Nevada or New York. I didn't even look at that, but I just started laughing. And it says, you know, something to strive for 26 years. Tucson, well, that's. I don't know if it's cities or full state. That wouldn't be us. A man whose identity they was just tried to figure out 26 years after he was hit by a car and then the person ran away. 26 years ago this happened. He got hit. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? When am I supposed to just stop? I was in a hurry. But they still don't know who he is. And they're like, the case is a little tricky. We believe he's of Eastern European descent. Makes sense. Kill one of them Russian types, you know, Members Only jacket. He was believed to be homeless. Maybe. Who knows? They didn't know anything about the guy. Right. He's laid to rest out in the white tanks. Where? That mountain range out there. So who knows what they don't know where it is. California is number one at 2952 unidentified bodies. Arizona second. 2125. So we're 800 people behind a state.

[B]

Which state?

[A]

35 million people live in California yet.

[B]

And we're only 900 away. 800 away.

[A]

7 million in the whole thing. And we're losing that one by 800. So per capita clobbering third is Texas, fourth, New York, fifth, Florida. All states with massive populations. Step one, this little berg here. And we're doing better than I'm goddamn teachers at number 50. We're number two. I don't think we're bragging about it. See, this is where I knew I'd lose you. This is not. We're not bragging about it. This isn't a time to celebrate. We're not getting cupcakes out.

[B]

We're losers.

[A]

Things happen. So when it comes to finding out who these people are, they say they find loved ones who don't talk. I don't know what you're talking about. Isn't your husband missing? I don't know. Is he? I don't know yet. I mean, the garage is filthy. Maybe I haven't looked around. I don't know. So he's trying to do a thing where you try to figure it out. And he's going to interview a lot of people. You know what's going to happen to this guy? He's going to disappear, ask too many questions. He's going to be one of them. Might not like the answers.

[B]

There was an interviewer a couple years back. I don't know what happened.

[A]

Last torch I'm picking up in the honor of humanity is we gotta identify some of these bodies. Nuh, that's. That's a few door knocks. I'm not interested in even thinking about you. Imagine rolling around with that one and just like, all right, we'll just see.

[B]

That's.

[A]

Evidently he lived here for a little while. Let's See if he's. Hi.

[B]

What's going on?

[A]

I just have a few questions for you. Mr. Jefferson? Yeah, that's me. I'm Jefferson, George Jefferson. George Jefferson? Yes. Do you know this man?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

It looks like a picture to me. I don't even think that's a man. Well, semantics. But it's a picture of a man. Says you. I didn't know the gentleman or woman. I don't identify. Mr. Jefferson, please. Jefferson, please. Let me ask you a question. Identify yourself. Why? My name's Todd and I work over at the identification of bodies we haven't identified yet store. Oh, so you identified missing bodies that have yet to be identified. When you find them, you try to find out who they are. What happened? Yes, Come on in for a little while. I was just about to get in the hot tub smells like acid. Oh, no, it's just heavily chlorinated hopping ridiculous. The stupidest job you could ever want. I'm not into that. Have you met my. This is my son in law. Oh, how you doing? My name's Lionel. I'm Lionel. I live downstairs with the honkies. I don't know what he's talking about. Right. It's my beautiful interracial relationship. Oh, what's this guy here for? He wants to identify some dead bodies. Has he found the hot tub? Please, Lionel, Mr. Jefferson would very much enjoy you to be a little more professional about my job here. We're trying to be completely. Are we not being cordial? Lionel, get the man a beverage. Lionel, Weezy, come in here for a second. I want you to meet this Todd character who's trying to identify bodies. I don't know. I don't know if I like wearing this wig around. Just wear the wig, wheezy. Stupid.

[B]

You know anything about these missing bodies?

[A]

Who could this be? Oh, it's my neighbor Bentley. Just thinking about what's going on in your house right now. It's got me a little confused. Not real sure I want to come around here no more. Have you met Todd? Yeah, Todd was over at my house a second ago. I just thought I'd come over getting hot tub with him. You guys are very friendly. The Jeffersons and Bentley. This is rather wonderful. Anyway, I'm not going door to door in this city identifying missing bodies, that's for sure. Wow. H. Grand Central Station. Understand we got company. We got in the hot tub. Look everybody, it's my white neighbor, Tom Willis. That's right, I'm Willis. Hey, Willis. What is it, wheezy?

[B]

I'd ask you something.

[A]

Did you? My wife. Where'd you get the balls? Asked me that, Wheezy. They're Jeffersonis. Anyway, that went on a while. I'm just saying, you don't want answers to those questions. That's all I'm getting at right there. You just don't. Because I've met a few people who run restaurants whose last name is Jones. And I mean. Yeah, that weird horn around their neck, pinky rings, hair on their hands. I'm like, your name isn't Jones at all. Stop it. I don't know what you're talking about. My name's Jones. Dave Jones. Like in the Monkeys, Take the last train to Clarksville. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, yeah, I was born in Illinois. Illinois. How do you say that? They never taught me that one. So, yeah, don't go knocking on doors. We're number two in unidentified missing bodies.

[B]

Something to strive for.

[A]

That's just. That's just something we are. If the family doesn't care, why do you? Look, I gotta say, if I went missing and everybody said, there's an unidentified body and no one stepped up, A, I didn't want to be found, and B, nobody's coming forward, that means something terrible is going on.

[B]

So is that number missing and they're not found or it's been reported missing?

[A]

No. Well, there's the National Missing and Unidentified Persons thing. So that's when you find somebody and they're unidentified, but when they're missing, they're just obviously missing. And then you're like, but if they're people you find and you're like, we don't know who this one is, and nobody's coming forward and you put pictures up or. We found, like, this one's been missing for a while. It's like. And there's. And you. And they have the. Like, families who put out their family member is missing. They go through that database. It's not like that's just some random dart throw. There's a lot of family members lose touch with someone, and it's only through birthdays and holidays. They feel the pain of their loss, and we try to help them with that. I'm not knocking on those doors. If the family can't find them, they didn't want to be found. And sometimes, and I take this from Brett's people watching a lot of those mobster movies, the family doesn't know where you are. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

[B]

I wonder how much is that you know, the, the final hike they went on there. Walkabout or the old people that always are, you know, walking to the light.

[A]

Oh, yeah, the old people drift off. But again, the family member is going to want to know where that guy is. If you have an old man, it lives at your house and he wanders off to the superstitions, you're going to call the news and go, he wandered out. And we'd have at least a silver alert and we'd have his name on a thing.

[B]

It's been two weeks since I've heard from my grandfather. Right.

[A]

Then, then, you know, we don't know what happened to him. Well, you didn't report it. He said he was coming back. We, he. He was mad. We don't know what happened. Anyway, well, that's. Then he says, Jason emails and he says, do the unidentified bodies include illegal border crossing people? I'm sure, I'm sure it does. I'm sure. But you know, that's what, that's what it all is, actually. Oh, is it? That's. Okay, fine. Brett's cleared it all up for you completely. We're done. Case closed. This guy here to start on a foundation for it. And that would be a tough one. You find a gaggle of border crossers laying there with all those Edgar haircuts and the exact same flannel shirt and you're like, Jesus, we gotta figure out which one is what. What. This is going to be tough. And all with like Dora the Explorer backpacks and I don't know what. I don't know how that works, but I know that, that look. I got the most admiration for anybody who decides to cross the border. In, in Arizona, I'd be crossing California. The weather's a little nicer. I'm not walking through this desert. That's awful. That's an easy way. Just call the Valenzuela family. Tell me. Found 13 of them. 13 Chris Valens. Whether somebody want to identify one of these people and then, you know, DNA test everybody either way. Just a strange Brett morning to start it off, but Brett's friends are involved. Oh, and Rochelle. Rochelle Fisher, you have to raise your bar for entertainment. She emails. The Jeffersonis was a masterpiece. Hilarious. All right, Rochelle, seriously, look in the mirror for a second. Just go, what am I doing with my life? Jeffersonis. Idiots. I'm 52 years old. Pacino. That was Brady's. I like that one a lot. It's the Pacino as Lionel. Lionel Holmberg's morning sickness. Got emails like crazy about the Girl with no pants. Just hold on a second, John. I can't wear a goddamn Trump shirt to a sporting event, but this broad can go out with her Boner Garage. Show it. Yeah, David, that's exactly what happened. And we did. In fairness, I didn't get to see the Boner Garage. She kept it high and tight, but full side ass from her seat footwear just blew me away. Blew me away. It was a good.

[B]

Yeah, they would. They would ask the guy to stand up and bring him over there and find something for her. If a guy was wearing something similar to that.

[A]

If a guy had no pants on.

[B]

Or just wearing a long shirt and.

[A]

Decided that's a dress. I know that's scary. If a man's genitals are out, woman does it and she's good looking, people don't say a word. Trust me.

[B]

Can't be ugly.

[A]

Sweater party kind of that. Except for their nice. When she stood up, it was long enough to cover it. She sat down and just wrote. It was crazy. There's no pants on. I've never seen anything like it. And because she was somewhat attractive, like beyond that, like Instagram hot. Nobody said a word. No one. She left early, walked up the stairs, just knocked everybody out and didn't come back. I was like left with like 8 minutes left in a game that went to overtime. Stared at kind of her beef. Probably got cold sitting on that plastic chair. You know, the worst part is I was talking to somebody else about this a minute ago online. The. The whole thing is you've seen these people that go to Iron Maiden concerts and like a lot of, you know, Slayer shows and stuff that are sitting in those chairs. And she's just sitting there with, you know, the night before Tom Segura sold out Footprint Center. You're right. Nobody goes through and bleach wipes any of those chairs. Oh, Brad, you're gonna cause another hurt herp. She put that thing raw right on top of whatever some Tom Segura person was doing the night before. God knows what was leaking out of them and getting all over that chair. And never once has the cleaning crew gone to all 18,000 seats inside there. And, you know, Clorox wiped them. You're right. Remember when Oprah did that thing about movie theater seats? Everybody remembers that. The swab. And it was just feces and DNA of anything that came out of some frogments. Disgusting. Yeah. So I didn't think of that. And now she's left her mark. Literally. Literally. There's a little like somebody with humongous like Mick Jagger gave the seat a kiss. That's probably. I should have looked at it. I should have looked to see if there was a a big mark Clamato that and then a little dot behind it. Strange, but yeah. So I didn't think of that. No, it's gross. I'm gonna wipe my seat down like I do an airplane tray every time I go now, just in case some pig did that. I'll just wear my little sweater dress. Is that all right? To no one, that is all right. Put some pants on. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. It's Nick Toledo from Homer's Morning Sickness.

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Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from Amco. And Wayne, if my car has an.

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No, Larry. If you have an extended service contract, you can use it at any amco.

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I'll say. Amco has dealership quality rental cars, no hassles and faster service.

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A whole lot more. It's good to be on top, isn't it? Yeah. So get on top and ride. With the top morning show in town and the best rest of Homburg's morning sickness, this segment is brought to you guys by Action Ride Shop.

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North to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just gonna stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking. Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're gonna need, so check them out [e-mail] or better yet, just go visit them. Over there on Gilbert Road and Southern, it's Action Ride Shop. But I don't get it. I don't know who's out there doing it. Who's out there listening to Christmas music to the tune of 30% of the city? How does it happen? It's annual. It's just. Everybody's forced to listen to it at work and everything else. It's just. Are you. Yeah. Where? Well, like, if you're in, like, the big office buildings and stuff like that, they just play Kez the whole time. Yeah. Dentist office, you know, doctor's offices. Never been indoors. Yeah. In November. I've never. I don't. I don't know. Well, look at. Like, you go to Home Depot or something like that. They already got. They had the Christmas stuff up before Halloween. They're not playing kdc.

[B]

Yeah, most of them.

[A]

I'm just saying, you know, Christmas stuff's going crazy already. It is. It's everywhere. Well. And I like Christmas. I'm one of those Christmas guys. I love Christmas. I absolutely love Christmas. I don't tune into that at all. All pure bitterness is the reason I can't give them any extra love. But they kill us. They do a good job, and there we are in the shadows of Christmas music for two solid months.

[B]

Watched Christmas island with Ronnie last night.

[A]

How'd that go?

[B]

Channel Unbelievable.

[A]

Did that result in anything fun for the private jet?

[B]

Oh, they had emergency landing. They're going to Switzerland for this family. Oh, the jet. She was the pilot. And bad weather. Oh, they had to. And to Christmas Island. It's just outside of Nova Scotia. And they're terrible. They're snowed in. Where did they start from? La?

[A]

I think the diversion was Nova Scotia. She's way off target. Landon. Charlotte.

[B]

They're going to. Yeah, they're on their way to Switzerland.

[A]

What are you doing up there? Melia Earhart over there or what? They must have been heading, going over the North Pole.

[B]

It seemed like it was kind of a warm area. Maybe they're going up. Anyway, the family was loaded, you know, and so they had their two kids.

[A]

Right.

[B]

They get. So they had to. Yeah, they got diverted because the Guy wouldn't let him. They couldn't land at LaGuardia.

[A]

That's New York.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So she took it up to Nova Scotia.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

She passed like nine airports.

[B]

These are closer, you know. Sorry, it's full. Because they're been routing all the commercial flights.

[A]

Too many.

[B]

And they're private it. And they're fueled up to make it to Switzerland.

[A]

A private jet.

[B]

Yeah. Snowed in. And the guy that's in their traffic controller is a real jerk to the pilot, but guess he falls in love.

[A]

Falls in love with the jerk traffic controller.

[B]

It worked out.

[A]

It was. Did you feel good at the end? I did, yeah.

[B]

Let's go again.

[A]

Is that something that's happening in your. Like we call Toledo a cuck? This is rough that I'm hearing. You had to sit through the whole. You watched the film?

[B]

No, I didn't have to. I chose to.

[A]

You chose this film? That's what he says. That's what all. That's what Doug Imhoff has been saying the whole time. So you cucked your way through this by decision. This was not like you. If you did. I did too.

[B]

I. I started in the second. I made about 10 minutes.

[A]

What was that one? I don't.

[B]

I don't even remember the title of that one.

[A]

Girl movies. I mean, right away I'm upset that a Florida flight was diverted to.

[B]

No, Nova Scotia and I tried to get through.

[A]

What's she flying up the coastline for? Switzerland. You get over the ocean, you get out there and you. And you got radar. Why fly into the storm?

[B]

All I know is I want to go to Christmas Island.

[A]

We're love bloom. You know that now and that.

[B]

See, this is a better world right now. It's fun.

[A]

Two nights ago, there you are arguing about politics. Then last night. Night you're watching some innocuous nonsense with your wife. Did it result in an old Fashioned or anything? Good, because if you sat through that thing, she owes you one even.

[B]

You gotta even just be a hard no.

[A]

You got a hard no in an old Fashioned afterwards.

[B]

No, I didn't even. You know, there was no heart after watching that movie.

[A]

Come on. She owes him a limp dick hand job. That happened.

[B]

I blow on it or something. I was the one that put it on. I felt like.

[A]

What?

[B]

You know, I felt. Oh, chair. I'll put it on.

[A]

Did you call everyone?

[B]

Usually she would say, just get out of here.

[A]

Was curvid herbs in there? Oh, she kicks you out to watch Hallmark.

[B]

Yeah, because she knows I. You know, if I.

[A]

You'll start Questioning it because logic goes away.

[B]

They're. They're in real trouble now. Are they gonna work this out? And every. That's.

[A]

Brady, I haven't said this for a while. Can I come over and watch movies?

[B]

Oh, yeah, you gotta.

[A]

Because you and I together watching that, she would kill me. Because my first question is. Why do you take the flight? Diversion. From anywhere south of New York. You should be heading dead east. What are they doing? Going north into more storms. Just turn right.

[B]

Yeah. Because the. I guess the storm was heavier. They're trying to get out.

[A]

How big is this storm?

[B]

I had so much time to land.

[A]

They allowed you to take off and.

[B]

It snowed the whole time.

[A]

I'm gonna get you some aspirin and a pillow. You need a break from this.

[B]

Great. It was great. Great. Going back.

[A]

What's it called? Do you know Christmas Island? That's it. It's called Christmas Island. Is that where Charlie in the Box and King Moon Racer are?

[B]

No, that's that. I was kind of hoping something like that. This has got to be good. Christmas Island.

[A]

I can't watch that right away. I'd be kicked out of the room. Like, what are they flying to Nova Scotia for divert. You go south, you go around the storm. I'm not a pilot.

[B]

Big. It's too big.

[A]

There's no such storm. They wouldn't let you take off. I'm already angry.

[B]

You don't question that.

[A]

John. You just let him go fall in love with the air traffic control. And how was he a dick? And how did they meet?

[B]

He's controlling it. On a laptop too.

[A]

Sure. That's how it's go show land planes with just a map.

[B]

You're okay to land now.

[A]

Get a MacBook your lands in Nova Scotia. He just sitting in his living room putting planes on the ground?

[B]

Yep. Well, no. He. He. They actually had. He had a place to work, an.

[A]

Office, and then they had to go to Nova Scotia and then she had to confront him. Him?

[B]

Oh, yeah, because he was.

[A]

He was a jerk.

[B]

He was a jerk to him.

[A]

This is good stuff. Brady. We need Hallmark Channel. Brady. For the squares that's happening Friday. We're going to do that. Hallmark Channel Brady. Did you find it? Oh, I thought you were looking. Brett looked like you. No, I was looking for something else because this story reminds me of. This story reminds me of this. This scene. Oh, no. How do you write women so well? I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability. It's technical. Something as good as it gets. Yep. I take Away reason and accountability. How do you write for women's. There's Jews at my table. That's a movie I could see. Oh yeah. As good as it gets. Anyway. Well, we assist. I gotta find this Christmas Christmas Island. Who's in it? You know, nobody's. Nobody famous.

[B]

The.

[A]

It wasn't Jennifer Love Hewitt or the next one up.

[B]

The same girl was in it. And this time she worked with a. Fell in love with a guy with the FBI. So she went from, you know, pilot. Yeah.

[A]

Girls bouncing from movie to movie.

[B]

But they have like three or four leading ladies in there and the same guy and they. They cast the people that to look like another star. Like is that George Clooney? He's just a little off.

[A]

Just a little different but r word. Clooney. Yeah, a little crooked eyed Clooney. I'm in on that. Anyway. Well see that's better. The world is better. Brady's at home not watching, you know, news nation.

[B]

Brett, he's watching Messiah.

[A]

Horrible movies. No, she kicked me out with Ronnie. Meanwhile I'll just be working on sports or throwing up some. Some steelers press conferences. Brady's watching on Christmas Island. She'd be like. She'd be like the Godfather. You can act like a man. Yeah. Does she watch those? No, I have never been. Is this it, Brady? Oh, look at that. There's the.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

We are making a temporary stop. Is about to take a turn.

[B]

Looks like nobody's leaving this island for.

[A]

At least a couple days for the festive. This is where I live. Christmas Island. What? No one leaves this place a scrooge. So what's this about? How long was the flight delay?

[B]

Three, three or four days. But then so much that they got the. They got the okay to leave Christmas but they stayed.

[A]

Cuz her heart was on Christmas Island.

[B]

Family really found out what Christmas is all about.

[A]

That's good stuff. See, and that's a better world we live in than this political nonsense that we've been in. Way to go, Brady.

[B]

Such a good break from.

[A]

Those are some rose colored glasses is my thing.

[B]

That whole channel is beautiful.

[A]

That's exactly right. What happened to you? Yeah, something wrong with him. That channel's beautiful. That should be. That should be revoked. Did you watch it in the man cave? Please tell me it was in the main room. Oh, the barn. Yeah, we're going to go to the barn and watch some Hallmark. I'm in. All right. So you're watching the main room?

[B]

Yeah, I had some.

[A]

Kirby, there was a big. Oh, you had A little food going. So you were. That's how she kept him there. That's how you. That's because his hands couldn't work the. The. The remote. So he had hands full of.

[B]

You can't turn them off.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Just.

[A]

That would be fun for the holidays. Maybe that's what we'll do instead of the Homburg after Dark is just watch a Christmas movie and Mystery Science Theater. It. That'd be fun.

[B]

It's a great idea.

[A]

Yeah. Christmas island might be. So we just throw it up on the screen, let the crowd get drunk and watch it and make fun of it the whole time. Although people might weep. Like Brady. He's into it. I like that idea. Holmberg's Morning Sickness 3000. We'll just do that instead. Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that? Holmberg's morning sickness. I don't know. It's worse. Either sitting at home watching football and watching all these damn commercials. Post political commercials, or sitting there at the stadium watching the Invisalign smile cam and all that kind of stuff.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

I go to Suns games. The Invisalign's worse. I'd rather they just.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hello, Sons and Cardinals fans. I'm running for president. Okay. It's a political ad, but it's better than that. The one thing that they're doing now that's just absolutely obnoxious. It was funny once, but they're doing the filter faces on the. That's the invisible, I think. Oh, it's out for a video. They're doing, like, the Joker smile and stuff. Okay. I didn't know who was sponsoring that. Okay. Because before it was just the Invisalign smile cam or whatever. Oh, no. And people would give their big dopey smiles, and then, you know, they. They used to. It used to be funny because back in the day, they could do it and make fun of somebody. So they'd find great, like, 10 people smiling and then one redneck, then one redneck with no teeth, just, like, give a big grin and they'd make fun of them. Or the Kiss cam, where it used to be like, couples. And then they'd always get, like, a really elderly couple to make out for a second. And then two dudes sit next to each other like, oh, homosexuals. Now it's like, awesome. If they get a couple of gays kiss and the crowd will clap. I was at a Sun's game and they hit two dudes, and I think they thought they were getting it. May have been a plant. It was actually pretty good that a guy sitting next to a girl on his left and a guy on his right and they, you know, they don't really focus. They focus, but you can still see two or three other people. Dude leans over to the guy and they start kissing. Little bit. It wasn't tongue kissing, but they kissed a little bit. The crowd was like, that's great. That's great. I think we all got nervous that we were going to be homophobic if. If we went. Come on. Disgusting. I'd rather watch two dudes do it than two old people kiss though. I would literally if they just did the. The kiss cam. They're going around like two guys just. Just bury it in each other. Looking at the camera. Just looking me right in the eyes for the camera. Camera just ripping into each other. Rather than two elderly people, like just, just long term tongue kiss. Kissing dies pretty much 10 to 12 days after you're married. There's no more kissing in your life at all. That's over. And then, and then it should be dead. Probably in your mid-50s. You should never experience it again. And then in your 60s, if you're doing it at all. It's just cream corn and spit. Yeah, I know. That's what it is, Brady. That's what it looks like. They're just. They're trying to swap cream corn or Ensure. I don't know what they're doing. But it isn't a normal kiss and it's slow and their lips kind of curl under their teeth because their teeth don't. You don't want your teeth to fall into the other person's mouth. I don't want to see that. I'd much rather watch like furry. I'd like to watch two dudes who just ran a marathon and haven't shaved in years tearing into each other for that camera than two old people French kissing. Yeah. I'm telling you, you give me that gay porn way before you give me two.

[B]

I don't know if I'm ready for that.

[A]

I could watch that all day. At least it's two people in love. The old people are just disgusting death patients. That shouldn't. Yuck. They shouldn't have anything left. We've still got it. No one wants to see it. You do that privately in the dark, the way you were trained as kids. You do it in the dark. Nobody wants to see a 70 something year old person take their clothes off and then start frenching a person. I would. I would have gay sex performed on Me? Just stop that. Like, if it meant, like, john one time. All you gotta do is take a root from a guy once and old people won't kiss ever again. And be like, all right. For the sacrifice of humanity and that kiss cam at sporting events. Give me that root. No different than going to the doctor once and have him finger you. Just, like, just take it for a second and just keep it in your head the whole time. Old people can't kiss anymore. I'm changing the game because it is gross. So gross that we still don't have, like, when the gay guys kissed at the Sun's King. Yay. Old people kiss. There's still an audible. And then usually the wives are like, that's beautiful. Stop it. Like, hey, you're the ones that stop kissing. Wives are the ones that cut that off. Dudes would be all over. It's still a few. Kiss your wife. It's disgusting. Yeah. You know where her mouth has been.

[B]

The things I've seenos and all the Italian.

[A]

You don't kiss your wife. Go out and go goodbyes and that kind of stuff. You drop your tongue in your wife's mouth or something horrible going on. Cream Corn. You start sharing that. Old people spit something weird when an old person spits on you compared to when, like, it. Like, accidentally they're talking and old people spit. Hitch it. You just assume it's just. It's Cream Corn. There's, like, all sorts of stuff that you would never eat in her spit. Yeah. Yeah. Bend me over and tear me apart. If I could stay. If that sacrifice I make to make old people stop kissing and just think about it. Just trip right now. Trip Reef. Imagine him right now just rolling over. Hey. Morning. You're talking heaven to me, Cream Corn. Let me take off my shirt. Like, stop it. Stop putting that image in my head. There's a reason why old people porn is like fetish porn. It isn't normal porn. It's fetish porn. It's like when people puke on each other or feet or poopy or pee. It's in that category, basically, all the videos I show. Yeah. You never stumble across old people porn and go hot. Ever.

[B]

I could watch this ever.

[A]

Like, oh, this is great. What's her name? I gotta seek more videos. Never aging is ugly for a reason. Yeah. Good morning. Oh, that was beautiful. Here, let me stuff my tongue in your mouth. We sound like a toilet getting plunged. So romantic. If only the world could see this. They could see our love. I don't think people need to see that? I don't either. Yuck. Arizona's most powerful rock committee radio station. He said fully erect. 98 Feed a family, make a kid happy and win a new car. It's the 25th anniversary of Operation Santa Claus. Presented by Sanderson, Ford Sanders and Lincoln U haul and ABC15. Make a donation of food, new toys, child size clothing or money and you could win a new Ford F150 truck or Lincoln Lincoln Corsair SUV. For more info go to givetothecloth.com Lincoln.

[B]

And ABC15.

[A]

It'S John Holmerg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug hopkins.com boy, that team at Doug Hopkins office is amazing. Not only will Doug Hopkins buy your home for cash as is and get that deal done lickety split, his team is unbelievable. So if you've got a place that needs a ton of water, Doug will help you out by making that cash offer as is. Or he'll list your place if it's already perfect. All you have to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing Hopkins 1-800-sale now there's more of the best of homework's morning sickness. 98 KUPD it's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. That's called the Brady report. And it's brought to you by All Pro shade. AllProchade.com get you all together. And the great thing is, like we always talk about, you get those motorized shades, those motorized blinds, and the weather's coming. This weekend's gonna be some rain, gonna be some nastiness, probably some wind with that. When the wind gets going, these motorized shades have sensors that say nap too much and they suck themselves back in. Just like Trump and Clinton. They suck it in and then they put themselves away. Unlike those umbrellas that sometimes end up in your pool. And if you've ever been like me pulling an umbrella out of a pool, pool, that is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, ever. Patio furniture is one thing. I had a table go in once and I waited for summer to get it out because it was the pool. Guys, like, let's just leave it. I'm like, you're right. That is so hard to get. I was like an eight person table. The motorized shades, they don't do that. They're smarter than your average umbrella. And you can get those right now from all pro shade. And because it's Closing in on winter. On those beautiful days that turn into cool nights, you can. You can still use your patio under your new awning from All Pro Shade because they're going to throw in a heater to boot. AllProchade.com Brady report there's a guy going.

[B]

Viral on TikTok after he got into an argument with a Hertz rental employee. The man had somehow driven 25,000 miles in one month in his on his rental, which included unlimited miles in his contract.

[A]

Oh man, was that around the world once?

[B]

Yeah. The employee said they'd be charging him $10,000 dollars because of driving 25,000 miles. Unreasonable. The guy argued that the contract says mileage was unlimited.

[A]

Unlimited mileage.

[B]

But the employee argued that the contract didn't prevent them from charging more. In this case, the clip generated more than 4,450,000 likes. Eventually, Hertz Corporate stepped in and apologized to the guy. They said unlimited. That means unlimited.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. There's going to be a clause in that new contract though. Now, we don't mean you can circumnavigate the globe. Unlimited within reason. 25,000 miles.

[B]

A lot of it's unclear why put that many miles on, but they thought there could be.

[A]

He was doing a mind your business. Yeah.

[B]

Trying to push it.

[A]

You got to go back and forth across the States eight times.

[B]

It's basically 800 miles a day. What's your response when hey, why you.

[A]

Dropped driving so many miles? I don't remember hiring you as my biographer. Mr. Hertz.

[B]

Driving 16 hours every day and for.

[A]

No purpose just to put miles on the car. Probably deliver through Amazon or Grubhub or something like that. 25,000 miles. He's got to be making that guy show my kid how to earn some money. Your kid would be living in a 10 bedroom house, running around Tucson doing that kind of mileage.

[B]

There's this. There's a new relationship hack is is on. But it's couples, especially young couples are doing this. They're using chat GPT to officiate their arguments to help them.

[A]

Oh, solve.

[B]

Or basically like a little therapist. Yeah.

[A]

Chat GPT tell me I'm right. So you put in her nonsense and then it fixes it.

[B]

Well, the couple that is doing this.

[A]

He'S like just leave.

[B]

And that's a big point. They go, you got to make sure you ask the question correctly because you.

[A]

Can screw up the argument.

[B]

You can screw up the argument. You can have it also ask it in your favor.

[A]

Pretty smart.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

You have to both agree. I mean you're in a fight. We have to both agree what to put into chat GPT to settle the mess.

[B]

You're saying it could be a good tool if you just need to vent, get general advice or how to move productive arguments. But if you ask something in a biased way, it'll answer biased.

[A]

It'll do whatever you tell it. Yeah.

[B]

So this guy was in a relationship with this girl, he's 25 years old, and she would say, hang on, let me go. She'd go in the other room to ask chatgpt the question here, who's right on the argument. But, but. And then she'd come back and tell him, well, that's not fair. No, you, you both need to be there together.

[A]

If she's too stupid.

[B]

But it could create another argument.

[A]

Of course it would.

[B]

You're not asking it. Right.

[A]

When I get in arguments with my ex wife, she'd go in the other room and put her points down in a like a PowerPoint bullet point presentation. I'll be right back. And she'd go on a computer and type, I don't speak well, so she, she'd type it out and then hand it to me and I have to read it in the middle. I'm like, oh, this number three. This is bull. What's wrong with you? Like I'm arguing with the paper. She's just sitting there watching NYPD Blue. And I would fight with paper and then I'd be like, what's going on? How did I lose so badly?

[B]

This 27 year old man in Florida was arrested at 2:44am on Wednesday when Trump was emerging as as the winner. He'd gone to a gentleman's club to get a lap dance and then he refused to pay the $40 fee. He tried to leave, but the manager called the cops and had him arrested. It's unclear if he was celebrating election day or just doing the Florida things. The man was charged with misdemeanor petty theft, was booked into the county jail and was released after posting a forty dollar bond. Don't have the guy's name. 27 year old man. Time to play what does purple look like?

[A]

Okay, it's time to play what color is this crime? Okay, give it to me. Headline again.

[B]

27 year old man arrested for stealing a lap dance.

[A]

Stealing a lap dance. Arab. What city? I'm saying Arab. Arab. Where's it at? I don't know what that means.

[B]

Florida.

[A]

So I'm just throwing that out there. I think that's my way of saying oriental. I'm going full on whitey. Arab, you say white. Stealing a lap dance.

[B]

White hillbilly.

[A]

That's for that magic city. What city was it again? From Florida. Cuban. Just rolled up. No, I'm staying with. I'm going black. Stay with her. If you say black, I'm going to live crew. White trash. I say Middle East. Brady. The winner is white trash. That's white trash. That's a Middle Eastern guy. That's tech support.

[B]

Damn it.

[A]

Abby. Dabby. No question that. We don't need a name. We know that's I'm a winner.

[B]

Could be Cuban too. Puerto Rican Cuban. But it looks right off the bat.

[A]

You put 18 other faces around him and you've got 911. You've got the headline. When they found everybody. The front page of that paper. When they put all 19 guys up, they found a box cutter. Well, the box cutter takes on a whole new meeting. A box cutter at a strip club, baby. You want to see my box cutter? He spoke cutter with a Q. Calling that thing. You're cute. What's your name? Abba Dubby.

[B]

Oh, the other guy that got busted on Halloween. It happened to normal North Northern California. Got arrested. Well, dressed as an inmate. Kind of like our Scott here. He had the orange jumper and he got popped for a dui. So they show him doing the drunk test in the Department of Corrections orange jumpsuit on the side of the highway.

[A]

You know what? I wish Scott Taylor was instead of his terrible Scotty Scheffler costume. If he'd have just painted his face orange, he would have been that son's pedophile. The Orange man. Just my friend Brian had a good point the other day. What if you showed up in that costume as Mr. Orange? Is it ruined for everyone? Like if Baxter for the Diamondbacks gets caught? If the dude in the costume gets caught being dirty little fondling or something. Is Baxter gone? Or do we put a new dude.

[B]

In the suit and I don't know.

[A]

That's depends on how. Maybe not.

[B]

Because Baxter's already been.

[A]

We got busted for weed in his car. That wasn't. I'm talking about pedophiles. That's not. No, that's not. Brady probably set Baxter up because he lost his job because weed is legal now. If I understand it, when Baxter got his dui, it's like he was at Porkopolis. Just one more on the house. And he started driving around. Around with weed in his car. That isn't a. That isn't a thing. That ruins the whole costume. Now if Baxter's got a, you know, a young boy in his car. They do this. Baxter the gorilla. I think you're right. If it's the gorilla or Sparky the Sun Devil. Right. I think they just give the suit to a new dude and accept it. But Mr. Orange, no fans can do that again.

[B]

Oh, no. Yeah, because that's a.

[A]

Because it's over.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He not only. He's like Hitler's mustache, he wrecked that thing forever.

[B]

It wasn't big enough.

[A]

Mr. Orson. Yeah, he was getting there.

[B]

I mean, but everyone knew he was a fan.

[A]

Yeah, but he was. He was taking a lot of pictures. He became kind of a thing himself.

[B]

And that's exactly how the cowboy, you know, for the Dallas Cowboys. Cowboys.

[A]

The black Cowboy. Yeah.

[B]

And then you got the guy in Jets. Jets.

[A]

Fireman Ed.

[B]

Those guys. You don't replace that. There's another but that's because they've got faces.

[A]

But they've got faces.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Like if Fireman Ed, the Big nut for High State. If the big nut ends up being Ohio State, people are just going to put a new dude in the outfit.

[B]

In the half and half. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

[A]

They're not. I don't know.

[B]

They'd have to change it up a little bit.

[A]

It's not the outfit. I didn't know about the Big Nut. It's a Philly fanatic or something. Right. They stuff another guy in there and go, well, but that's also team sponsored. Like, Mr. Orange just showed up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But he was getting some headway where I think the Suns were like, we can use him for some things. And probably gave him a couple bucks. We don't know about here and there. But you can't ever. Like, if I showed up dressed as Mr. Orange again, it's over. Right. There's next year's costume for you. I think so give it a shot.

[B]

What happens if it's the team mascot? You know, like Bask Baxter or Philly Fanatic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's happened three times. Times.

[A]

Like three different dudes do it. Yeah. You gotta get rid of the outfit. It's the outfit what causes it. Yeah. Like a horror movie.

[B]

It's like.

[A]

Yeah. If you touch the Philly fanatic from the inside. You touch. Yeah, you're right. If it's a third, but for the third. God, who's hiring these fanatics?

[B]

I mean, you look into the company for sure. But I think they're changing up the mascot, sir.

[A]

Hiring practices. For the fourth time in three years, Dingers Nailing kids.

[B]

What?

[A]

I won't handle that. Language. No, no, I said Dinger. Dinger. Dinger. Oh, okay. Well, we can't have that either. Yeah. If any of the mascots do it and their team sponsored, it goes on. But if it's just a dude dressed as Mr. Orange, like we could like. Because he brought that up and I'm like, that's interesting. If I showed up dressed as Mr. Orange for some reason you can't just. The. The outfit doesn't live. The dude in it ruined it.

[B]

Meanwhile, the purple and other stadiums that always have three or four characters dressed up like the Orangeman, but different color.

[A]

Right. But if you did Mr. Purple.

[B]

I think it's.

[A]

And just put a purple bodysuit on, it'd be okay.

[B]

Because I think you look at all.

[A]

Those Raider guys that are in their. Their made up shoulder pads with all the spikes and everything on it. Those are all interchangeable.

[B]

And you already think that they're.

[A]

Well, that main dude in the front race row. But I would big spiky stuff get stressed up every week for that. You could show me anyone like that and I wouldn't be able to tell.

[B]

You if that's the guy that is.

[A]

Is the main Raider guy, Fireman Ed, I could pick him out. But the Raider guy, Fireman Ed can't. But if Fireman Ed was just a big headed like Mr. Met, the guy inside can commit crimes and the suit will live on. Mr. Orange ruined the orange suit with. When the hair. With that. Yeah, that mohawk and the glasses and that. He was kind of cool. I'd seen him walking around everyone. That's kind of neat.

[B]

Was he kind of cool or did.

[A]

He just think he was. No, he was kind of cool. It was kind of a. It was cool. Like you'd see him stand up and I'm like, there's that Mr. Orange. And it was usually like he never stood up and things were going wrong. So you always had like a little endorphin rush going in the first place. And then there's Mr. Orange losing his mind. Like he's on the camera. Son's found him a lot. And it turned out he's hugging kids and now it all looks terrible.

[B]

The last little Halloween story is this guy from Oregon set a world record rowing in a pumpkin. I saw that dude 45 miles. Almost 46 miles.

[A]

Pumpkin is the size of the studio.

[B]

Huge.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Carves it out. The picture of him in it's pretty cool. And he's.

[A]

He's living in it like a canoe. Right? He's like, yeah, there's feet in there. I couldn't quite tell.

[B]

He started growing the pumpkin since 2011.

[A]

What?

[B]

He started growing giant pumpkins in 2011 and then. Not this.

[A]

I was gonna say that. Wouldn't it rot?

[B]

Jesus. Yeah.

[A]

How long do they last?

[B]

And then he started making the boats in 2013 to compete in the west coast giant pumpkin regatta.

[A]

That means there's more than one.

[B]

So it took him 26 hours.

[A]

That had to come from a dude stealing a giant pump pumpkin and running from people and throwing it in the water and climbing out, realizing, hey, these things float. And then, like, a boat race ensued. You're not gonna get away with that pumpkin, buddy. I am gonna get away with it. I'm in a river.

[B]

And the other thing, the big part of it was the wind. That day was only 4-5 mph. So you weren't battling the elements too much, because you don't have very much. You got about four inches. Four or five inches before the. The surface of the pumpkin. Like, if it starts leaning a little bit, it would take on water.

[A]

Oh, sure.

[B]

You got to be really smooth.

[A]

This is one thing you analyze. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Delicate vessel. And I had to check its maritime properties.

[B]

Don't rock the boat, baby.

[A]

That's another super fan that got busted. Chiefsaholic superfan pleads guilty to string a bank robbery. Oh, yeah, I remember that. But that wasn't.

[B]

You can replace that.

[A]

But that wasn't the actual wolf. Yeah, he's super fancy orange, but he dressed as the actual mascot, which is a giant wolf for no reason for the chief. Yeah, I don't get that one. But their.

[B]

Their wolf is the cartoon wolf.

[A]

What's that like? No, no, they. They have him out on the field and stuff. No, no, but he's not a fierce.

[B]

Wolf like that guy.

[A]

Oh, that scared you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, well, you know what I'm saying. Don't show Toledo that picture. Comic wet himself. More comic wolf like that wolf. Oh, he's more friendly to the children. That other one looked a little wolf. Yeah, this one looks a little. Yeah, a little dirtier. He's the one who blows down the pig's house. He's werewolf in London. That one is. I might give him a cookie and pet him. The other wolf. Ooh, he might slightly r. Worded. All right. Yeah.

[B]

Wiley coyote.

[A]

Chris Hansen.

[B]

He's got a creepy fanny pack.

[A]

Yeah, like a giant rat almost. All right, I'm with you on that one. Okay, I see what you see there. The friendlier wolf as opposed to the pig hating, house ruining wolf that got arrested for robbing things. Wouldn't it be funny if he robbed three pigs like fat ladies?

[B]

I mean there's a school in New York.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't mean real pigs. They don't give me money fat ladies don't have. They've got some cash usually.

[B]

Now it's time for some science news. Hello, I'm Professor Brady Bogan with your science news and rocket news. SpaceX planning to do another Starship launch November 18th and they're hoping to catch it with those chop giant chopsticks.

[A]

That's the coolest thing I've ever seen. I mean that is so sci fi the future. And that was the clumsy one because it was the first imagine when they start like technology is going to in five years from now when that becomes nothing to us and they're just chucking matchsticks into this one after another.

[B]

That's.

[A]

That is such a cool thing.

[B]

The world's first wood satellite arrived at the space station on Tuesday. We'll drop it into orbit soon to see how it holds up in the vacuum of space. And if it works, we might use wood on all satellites someday. Eco friendly. And when it burns up completely on re entry and it won't damage the ozone layer.

[A]

This is like a cabin satellite just floating around up there. Like Lincoln satellite.

[B]

Yeah. Nice hardwood.

[A]

Yeah, I like that. An old, like an old timey 19th century wood satellite. That's what I'm looking for. Far off from the other satellites, the busy noise of the metal and steel in Pluto.

[B]

News, it's still not a planet. But researchers think they found the best evidence yet that there's another planet. 9 it there somewhere. It could be three times larger than Earth. Hiding out in the Kuiper belt beyond Neptune.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Researchers made vampire bats run on a tiny treadmill to study how they metabolize food.

[A]

And then the Toledo come and pay rent to 1. It's time for rent. But I have to work out first before the sun.

[B]

They're actually pretty decent runners. Saw the video of them on this little belt and they're all four. You know, you have the two legs and then their wings also have little hands on them. So they're like not crab walking but interesting.

[A]

Bear crawling on treadmills.

[B]

Yeah. And why they got them up to.

[A]

Like 11 miles an hour. Please.

[B]

Pretty close.

[A]

No kidding.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A bat can run 11 miles.

[B]

Vampire bat? Yeah.

[A]

No way.

[B]

Way.

[A]

I want to see it. Why would they.

[B]

There's a link. There is? Yeah.

[A]

When would they ever utilize running?

[B]

They'll scamper on the ground for food. You don't know that, do you?

[A]

Sure you're just saying that now. Cuz you just two minutes ago found out they can run on a treadmill. You've not seen one running around?

[B]

Oh yeah. All the time.

[A]

You've seen a bat on the ground just grabbing food.

[B]

Not a vampire. I've never seen a vampire bat. Like out in the wild.

[A]

Yeah. Where have you seen one?

[B]

Because you would have snatched. I had a pet vampire bat for bat zoo. Yeah. They'll have bats. Where?

[A]

On purpose? Yeah, just in like a cave or something. And they'll walk around. That doesn't. That's not what they do though. They're just. Those bats are mentally defeated. They're walking around because they've taken away their gift of flight. I've never seen the bat exhibit at the zoo before. I can't believe that's a thing. Just assume some bats are hanging around.

[B]

Kirby. The first time she saw bats at a in captivity was in Denver and she yelled. She was probably four or five. And she's like no way. Mom.

[A]

You.

[B]

You didn't. They're not real. Joyce thought bats were the little rubber things. Oh, she didn't think they were real.

[A]

Well, she's a dumb child at the time. That's kind of a thing dumb children would say.

[B]

Check this bat.

[A]

This is a bat on a treadmill.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Does it have wings? I think they've clipped its wings.

[B]

No, it's just a. It's.

[A]

Oh, he's walking on. Why wouldn't he just get up and.

[B]

Okay, this is double speed.

[A]

They got him running.

[B]

Oh, there he is.

[A]

Jumping and stuff. They've had to have given him a shot or something. Bat wouldn't do this. He would just start flying. But I know he's in the case. But he doesn't know he's in a case. Wouldn't he just resort to that squirrel.

[B]

Jumping his head once you get to know the bat?

[A]

But he's trying to get out of there. So it isn't that he wants to run. They wouldn't do what Brady said, which is run around if they didn't have a ceiling. You put a ceiling on it, he's going to be like, well, I have to run. That was just torture.

[B]

Take off like birds can. I don't think they can just jump and go. They hang upside down. They. They. I think they gotta drop to catch air. Yeah.

[A]

Like Orville and Wilbur Wright bats as they get a running start. No, they don't bats hang upside down and just start flying?

[B]

They gotta jump out of something and then. Yeah, it's like the wingsuit that's flying. Yeah.

[A]

Everything just starts. This is dumb. I've never once seen a bat run around. I'm going back to ever.

[B]

After I took one out at camp.

[A]

Nope. You've never seen it take it back.

[B]

It's campered on the floor.

[A]

If you could drop off the rent sometime before the sun Camp.

[B]

Yeah. When I was at Camp Akita back in the day as a camp counselor, we had a bat in the cabin.

[A]

And it just ran around and ate.

[B]

No, it flew in at night. And so I took it out similar to what you did with that bird. That was a bat.

[A]

That was a bat. Made a bat in here. I never once saw it running.

[B]

This one did. I took it down and it still wasn't.

[A]

You batted it down. Got a pair of Jordans.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You gave it a concussion. It couldn't fly. They hit the ground and scared up. And then it starts to just kind of walk around.

[B]

I picked him up. I fed him bread.

[A]

Wasn't scampering. It was running for its life. You make everything cute. Walt Disney got him out. He was skipping his way down the. He was whistling or something. I forget what it was. Everything about it was great. Was this the camp that your mom always threatened to send you to and she actually.

[B]

No, that was.

[A]

That was Chief.

[B]

That was just the reservation.

[A]

That was Chief Running Water. She did a racist thing. Said if you don't. If you don't behave, you have to live in a place of people who aren't white. That was essentially your mother's punishment. That's before they had, like, talking stick and stuff. Right? It would have been talking stick. All right. Chief Running Water was the one that she made you afraid of.

[B]

And she's worried about the country again. Yeah.

[A]

Look at the bat jogging. Does he want to? Not because I hit him in the.

[B]

Head with a broom like chicken on a hot plate.

[A]

He's awesome. I understand that bats sometimes do exactly what's happening. It has nothing to do with me damaging his brain as he just decided to hit the side of the broom and then walk around namelessly looking for snacks. That's what I tell myself so I don't feel guilty at all for hitting it. Off you go, little runner. Scamper off, friend. Scamper is a word I use to make it seem like it's better thing. And then stumbling around like two a tongue of iloa after a violent blast to this to this cranium. Look at him go out there. He doesn't want to fly anymore. He's expeditious. He's saving. Saving his energy for the big night run. I call him Michael Keaton. It's my way. And you throw it out there like a fact. They run around, look for. Oh, fun fact. Oh, fun fact. They sometimes scramble around on the ground for food. The homeless ones. I got no cave man. My arm hurts. If you see a bat picking up snacks off the ground, it's dying.

[B]

Maybe it's a little hungry.

[A]

Then die. It's not dying. Jesus wouldn't put it out there like that. Looking for snacks.

[B]

Next one. Some smally pirates coming out of.

[A]

Yeah, Smally Somali. Yeah, them too.

[B]

Somali pirates.

[A]

You said smally.

[B]

No, I didn't.

[A]

Oh, God, no. We will go to the tape and you'll hear Smalley. Because I thought Stuart Smalley was the pirate, and it's not. Pilot, go to the tape. We always go to the tape. And you always go, well, yikes.

[B]

Somali pirates.

[A]

That's better.

[B]

Bunch of slap jags.

[A]

Yeah. No, that's not what you said. Don't act like you're Captain Dictionary. Turn your mirror. Hey, over here. You're not Captain Diction. You make mistakes a lot. We catch you, we all laugh. And if the whole room's doing it, you did something wrong. It's like an offensive lineman. If one guy's not blocking, the coach is doing his job for the other guys. If two guys aren't, it's the coach's fault. Fault. Right now, Smally Pirates was your fault. That's why we all started laughing at you.

[B]

You're hearing things.

[A]

No, clear. Yeah, we're here. Yeah, we are. We hear things. We are hearing things. We're hearing you say smally pirates. Nope. We're hearing things. All right. All three of us. Get the video. What the hell's a smally pirate? Because you're good enough and you're strong enough, and you're a great pirate, and people like you. Get out there and do some pirating, George. Somali, this is my boat now. I'm the captain now. Somali. Keep trying to run over it.

[B]

It was a little bit in that one.

[A]

Smally pirates. Smalley pirates. What am I saying wrong? It's your fault. I say words wrong. There. They're just killing them. I love this. The approach when you see them coming in their little rowboats is to just start firing and they always miss. Like, I've seen several of these videos. Well, not that well. They had some explosives on that boat because that wasn't just a boat bullet. Those dudes were coming in hot. I have watched thousands of these. There was a whole dedicated stream of Somali pirates trying to get to boats. And the guys just shoot. And the dudes just start climbing the side of the boat. They got him there, though. They had an ex. They had a bomb. Oh, that blows them right up. This is great. You know what's great about it? Amazon packages will be arriving on time. Okay, okay. That's enough shooting. We've killed those smallies. Plowed them. We got a couple smallies out there. Some. Some Smally Brady makes them sound like they have marshmallows in between them. Smileys.

[B]

Put some chocolate on them.

[A]

They already got that.

[B]

Graham crackers.

[A]

Smiley's. Yeah. They're made of chocolate. Dark chocolate. My fave Smollies. Arizona's most powerful rock media radio station. He said fully erect. It's John Holmer here. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughns.com. i just sat down with TV's Doug Hopkins and we did some TV commercials while we're watching football. So you get to see me sit next to Doug and somehow or another make Doug look pretty. And I'm happy to do it, too. I bought and sold houses using Doug Hopkins. So I've been through the process, and he's the real deal. He is not going to cancel or change the game with fine print contingency, simple cash offer, and the deal is done. Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing. It's John Holberg here from the Morning Sickness to talk to you about my friends at Trajan Wealth. A man who had quite a bit of money and a whole bunch of stuff decided to write up on his computer his will and trust. The day before he passed, he rewrote the entire thing. The old document was deleted and the new one was timestamped by the computer. One day before he died, the court told the man's son that the document wasn't legal. Call the team at Trajan well Wealth. Sit down and take care of this so your family doesn't go through anything awful. Getting a plan together is so much easier than procrastinating. Call 480-990-3300. Trajan Wealth Legal services are offered through Trajan Estate Law Firm llc. All they show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of Homebrew's morning sickness. That's ironic that that happens and I get an email about poor employees and you know, reasonable or unreasonable management. Check this out. And I. I feel, you'll see why. But I feel somewhat responsible for young Angela's dilemma. Here it says hey Chancellor, quick warning to everyone out there. This is the way the world works now. I was just terminated by my nameless, faceless boss at a major banking operation. I have been a great employee. I can say that out loud. Four years after an audit of my productivity, it was discovered that a few people in the building had used company time on non company endeavors. For instance, at one point I printed out a hundred pages of my kids homework. 15 and 17 year old boys. In the last year they had monitored that. I also had done some shopping on my computer over the last few months on an app that I have on my website work computer. Eleven of us were given papers to sign that said we recognized that we had used the company's equipment for end supplies for non related or personal reasons which amounts to theft of the company's possessions. The company now may garnish my wages so they are reimbursed for the missing supplies or in specific cases they may terminate and prosecute the employee. So thinking it was no big deal, I signed it. You know, some paper. Right after that two people I've never met before walked into my office and let me go. 11 people have been fired. Corporate America sucks all the way around. I'm one of the teachers that you convinced a few years ago to quit because being a school teacher sucks. Oops. And you're right about that. But it's going to be what I have to go back to. I tell you this because I feel you're kind of responsible for my career track. I don't blame you. I'm just vented. Also, since it's been you that I've listened to, why not? Do you have any suggestions about what I should do in the future? Angela? Wow. They'll can ya for printing some papers that aren't work related and you should have known better. Again, that goes to the theory. What good are kids? They just seem to always be a trouble and why can't they print their own stuff? In a way your company's got a point. And if you had a hundred pages, that's probably not one report that's getting. You know, every few days you're popping off a few homework pages for your teenage boys. Where's your printer?

[B]

At home throughout the year I guess. 100 pages.

[A]

Here's the scary part though is that They've been watching you. She's printing again. She's printing stuff that's not. Or you've got a rat in the house. Might have a mouse in the house. Because somebody might be going over to that printer and going, oh, we don't have any paper again. Because Angela won't stop printing her. Her son's homework. So he might have a rat in the house that ratage out and told the shopping on company time. Yeah, you shouldn't have done it. But, boy, getting fired for it.

[B]

It's under those lists. Like, you know, company pens, all the supplies, office supplies.

[A]

If. And there's truth to that, if you start stealing those a lot and you're the one doing it, they might come in. But the worst thing, I've been part of that before where you've been fired, and it's like an. It's under the guise of an audit, and they come up and go, we discovered you did this, this, and this. Like, oh, yeah, I could probably be better. I remember that one time I sat down with at Tony Roma's and the new manager came in. He didn't like me, and I didn't like him anyway, put a paper in front of me and said, I've just noticed. This is. This is your skill set. This is what you're good at. What do you think you're bad at? I'm like, oh, I got this. I know. I'm going through it. Like, yeah, you're right. I got a few things. Things I could work on. But, yeah, I. I, you know, I tend to fall into this category. So you would agree in a lot of these cases that this is stuff you're not good at? Like, yeah. And he goes, okay, just sign this audit here and that says you agree with this, and then we'll move. We'll move on from there. I'm like, okay. So I scroll my name on there. He takes it and he puts it in. He goes, you're fired. I'm gonna let you go. I mean, you just. You just conceded to all these things that you're not good at, so we're gonna find somebody else. And I'm like, oh, I fell for that completely. So anytime bosses come in and hand you a piece of paper that says, here's 12 things you don't do good, I wouldn't sign that right away. My suggestion for people in the. In the future is to say, yeah, let me. Let me stew over this. I'm not sure I agree with it. You know, let me. Before I sign this and if they start saying no, you got to sign it today. And I'm like, well, I just was kind of overwhelmed by this today, so I'm not real sure, you know what you're doing. Angela, a suggestion. I don't know if you. If you're a morning person, you know, we get a chair that needs filling for the first 15, 20 minutes for one of our employees that decides not to show up. So, I mean, maybe you could come work with us.

[B]

Angela, get a quick 15.

[A]

Yeah. If you're. If you're punctual and you're, you know, go get her at first thing in the morning. And you're not just going to sleep the day away. Show up whenever you want.

[B]

You're Italian.

[A]

Yeah. You're Italian. You answer to Brett. I mean, we really don't want to replace him, but if he's not going to come, we have to. Angela, suggestions? First off, I'm still proud of you for leaving the teaching profession. It isn't noble and it isn't honorable. It doesn't pay, Period. End of story. And I'm not saying it should. It is what it is.

[B]

She. You know, I know that's what you're saying, but, you know, at the same time. Time they. There's so many job opportunities.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

That back into the teaching.

[A]

Oh, they'll take you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But if you're in it for the money, and I see that's my time.

[B]

I would say maybe you were going to say this, that you can have the pleasure of shopping, you know, like.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

A better school.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Kind of find a school you really want to be at.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But if you're in it for the money. I've told teachers this for years, and I've got probably. I would probably guess seven or eight that have told me that listening to me talk about it gave them the courage to quit the job. If you're in it for the money to teach, you've made a terrible mistake. And nobody wants to hear you scream and yell about wanting more money. Do you deserve it? Maybe. Are you gonna get it? No. I live in reality. I'm not gonna go scream at what I deserve. I'm either gonna get it, or I'm gonna accept what I have and move to something else. So going back to teaching is the thing. I was gonna suggest onlyfans, but I don't know what you look like. Cause, I mean, that's a. If I'm your guy. Guidance counselor. It sounds like you've struck out in a couple of major areas. Only Fans isn't such a bad idea. But you have to be ready for that and you have to be prepped and you have to be in shape or you have to have some sort of weird fetish. Angela, I need to know more about you. D. [e-mail] Fire over some Angela banking pictures. Maybe a teacher's post or something like eating an apple or whatever it is. And then we'll, we'll determine your next moves. But as it stands right now, maybe.

[B]

Next to the printer cuz you like to print a lot.

[A]

I'm guessing you got a 15 and 17 year old boy. Your only fans account isn't going to go gangbusters.

[B]

It's killing the reports.

[A]

I mean mom. Yeah, yeah. Printing out. Yeah. Trying to flash honey holes for weirdos paying you a dollar a day. In the meantime you got to print out some of your kids homework. Second. What, what in the world are your kids? What are they? You're a teacher at heart. So you're sitting there going, you know what, let me help you out.

[B]

Yeah, that's why she ends up doing it.

[A]

Yeah, she ended up doing. That's the thing she didn't mention. She's probably doing her kids homework and just using company time. Again, do I agree with your banking company's ice cold manner in which to do that? And can they afford a few pieces of paper to slide out? Sure. Should they have to worry about that? I mean if you had a house guest that was using up all the towels and he had his own towels, but he'd come over and use your towels and your bathroom, he's like, come on. After a while they're like, you know, can we do this? Yes. Do we want to have to? No. So it is a cruddy prerogative that they have over all of us that if you wanted to start doing stuff like that, should have gotten a warning. But I think they were out to can a bunch of people. I think they're making, making cuts in.

[B]

The factor of a. You know, it's just like being the Italian family. If you're an earner, you stay. They, they look at that and like all right, that's 100 pages. Let's, let's knock that off.

[A]

Yeah, you'll get a. Knock it off earning if you're. She said in the thing she thought she was a really good employer.

[B]

Four years.

[A]

She'd probably been there the least amount of time. So you start looking at who's not been here very long and who's not Purdue and What's going on here? You're shopping. Maybe you're not as good as an employee as you thought. You got time to shop. You got, you're not taking time. This sounds bad. This sounds like I'm one of those, I kind of am one of those people that says on your company time, if you're sitting there shopping or doing whatever it is a boss would say, why aren't you using that time to be more productive in something that you're not getting? Like. And maybe, and here's the thing I used to get mad at when I'd watch somebody scramble for time. But then when they're not scrambling for time, they're doing something stupid like, like constantly smoking or they're, they're, you know, on their computer drawing. I'm like, you could be not. You're going to scramble at 5 o'. Clock, you're going to start running around like there isn't enough hours in the day. And I'm watching you waste some time. So if you're, you might be one of those people that they see that way. I don't know. Sorry, this sucks.

[B]

There are, there is definitely some cutting back on employees and unfortunately in know I'm sure that went down that we're gonna have to let you go and give you the reasons here. You sign this company, cut back and then the guy goes, come on. Oh yeah, I've got the 5:30 Oceans.

[A]

44 dinner with you. That was the best one for us. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We're definitely going to have cutbacks based on that dinner we had the other night. I heard what the bill was. It was huge. It's bigger than I thought. Meanwhile, Thriller will come in here later this morning a little wobblier because he's had to give his plasma to make bills. Yeah, got a plasma up. Meanwhile, I had a, an 85$8 ounce piece of meat. That's a reasonable price.

[B]

I just saw a thing about the.

[A]

Cheapest steak, by the way, you and I ordered the cheapest steak, which is the eight ounce fillets. Everybody else got those hundred and ninety dollar butcher's cuts. All, almost everyone. Trip had like an octopus flown in. Did you see his meal? I don't know what that was.

[B]

I asked him, I'm like, what are you eating? An octopus.

[A]

Octopus. What's on it? Octopus stuff. And it was, it was just like a blob of octopus in his.

[B]

With all that ink that came out.

[A]

I love octopus. I just hard though. It's hard to trust the order. I like squid, but there's, like, real octopus. Oh. I remember I was in Chicago in an Italian restaurant. I always thought calamari came that way. I didn't know how they made it. And this was the calamari. It's officially from America.

[B]

We are.

[A]

So you're gonna love a katamati. I'm like, okay. It was the arm of the octopus, uncut. You had to slice off the circles. So evidently it's hollowed out or something, and it's like rubber. And you do. And it's covered in its own ink. And I'm cutting with a knife, like, cheese slices that are, like now little circles. And it wasn't deep fried or anything. It was just straight up gummy octopus. Put it in my mouth. I mean, it was basically. It would be like if. If, you know, cannibals just chopped an arm off and started eating it. That's what it looked like. An octopus's arm had the suckers on the bottom and everything. I don't know if they boil it or what. Didn't even lose color. Still purple.

[B]

Boil it, fry it up.

[A]

They didn't fry it in anything. If they dropped it in a deep fryer, it was raw. It came out with no bread. In which I'm. This is an account. And the guy even told me, you're not at the Isle of a Garden, and this is the authentic way to go. And I didn't. That's when I learned the difference between the Mediterranean Italian and the. The Brett, the fat nuts and bolts, pasta and sauce Italian. The Mediterranean ones grab stuff straight out of the water and put it in their mouths. They eat a lot of fish, and they don't do much with it. You're gonna let love. But what do we do? I'm like, where's the. Where's the sauce? You crazy? What is on a Mediterranean Italian? I'm like, no, no. There's a piece. They're like, noodle. Where are the noodles?

[B]

And the things I expected, they come out just after the little. And it's a little side thing. It's like five course. Then it gets into the squid fish.

[A]

What that. Oh, not me. That was the starter. And it was disgusting looking. You eat it and you're like, God damn it. You feel like you're in, like the. You know that scene from that movie where you. The terror movie where they make monkey brains and they just beat up the monkey right there at the table.

[B]

Faces of.

[A]

Faces of Death. Because you're eating something that has just recently passed Away. This was a brand new octopus arm.

[B]

I recall going back, the people were laughing and enjoying themselves.

[A]

Oh yeah, from the faces of death. When they beat the monkey with the thing.

[B]

It's in the center of the table.

[A]

His head sticking out. That was. Yeah, that was awful. Yeah, but there you go. Anyway, sorry, Angela, we got distracted. Yeah, 15 and 17 year old sons. Let's be realistic here. About the only fan. Probably not gonna make much money there. Teaching is a better option.

[B]

And the times that you want to do stuff too. Mom.

[A]

You done in there? Put some pants on. I need to print some stuff.

[B]

Gee.

[A]

Work to print it yourself. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know my name was Hewlett Packard. I need your help. Hold on everybody. I have to put some pants on and go print out a history report for Trevor cuz he's not able to work the printer his own. Mom, Shut up. I'm talking to your new dad. Oh, gross. There's nothing worse. Probably. I don't know. This hasn't happened to me and I'm surprised it hasn't. But nothing worse than in the middle of a full out like only fans beat down and you hear mom right in the middle. Oh God. Click. X. Where's the. Where's X? X. Angela, I'm looking for you to. First off, two things you need to learn here. Work ain't fair, that sucks. And you can get fired for something. Sometimes you have to hang your head and go, they got me. As silly as it seems, they got me. I did do all that stuff. And you sign that paper. Second, stop stealing from the office. Let that lesson be a thing that also comes from your teaching days. Because I hear you teachers always complaining about how you have to buy your own office supplies and stuff. There's no question, all teachers, if they can, we'll try to steal some stuff around the office to not have to go over to Walgreens and buy more things. So you're all deep down trained to be thieves? A little bit. But yeah. Stop stealing office supplies. Use your time better. And if you go back to teaching, it pays what it pays. Nobody wants to hear you complain about the pay plus. And this goes for all you teachers. 50th place you just got a raise. You see what's happening with Dak Prescott? He just got a raise. Doesn't look too good, does it? And now everybody's like, well, what did we give him all that money for? Should we have given him a teachers? You're in the same boat as Dak Prescott. If we do this to athletes where we scrutinize their pay by their performance. Because they were saying, I deserve this. It's a business. It's a business. We gave you more money and you guys did worse. It's not our fault. Like, wait a second. You said red for red. If we invested in you. But it's the. It's. I say we pay you annually based on your performance. A sliding scale. Start kicking ass. We start coming 40th place, everybody gets a bonus. Otherwise, we give it to the cops. How about that? There's fairness right there. Cops and teachers are always the ones they don't get paid enough. We have a big pile of tax money. Whoever does a better job at the end of the year gets the pile. Oh, teachers and cops fighting over the pile. I'd pay for that.

[B]

But in the immediate time, like for. Maybe there's an opportunity, like, you get to work right away. Help counting the rest of these votes.

[A]

Yeah, maybe. Angela, go down there and see if we can finish up Arizona's 1830s election. Boy, our abortion law was in the 1800s. So's counting the votes to pass it. Are they still not done?

[B]

No, I don't think so.

[A]

It's ridiculous. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[B]

Come on down to the Ranch House Grill.

[A]

Comfort food is your next meal. Pork chili verde, chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great. Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best practice breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde and large portions.

[B]

Located in the heart of Arcadia.

[A]

Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road. Larry Furlo Mattress in Glendale has got a Black Friday special all this month. This is the biggest sale of the year. Tell me about it, Johnny. All you have to do is mention homebrew's morning sickness and you'll get 30% off off MSRP on all mattress collections.

[B]

That's a lot. What else?

[A]

They're also doing 70 off full and queen size bed sets. 70? Unreal. Plus 300 in free accessories and a free adjustable base with the purchase of a V5 or better mattress. That's gotta be it. Well, of course they still offer free delivery with a mattress purchase. So many reasons to pick the Right.

[B]

Mattress for your body at Verlo Mattress in Glendale.

[A]

That's Verlo Mattress in Glendale. Laugh like you almost did the first time. That's what I'm talking about. The best of Holmberg's morning sickness. I'm 90akupd this guy says, Holmberg, you don't know what you're missing right there. My interest is piqued and I don't expect the next sentence. You always say you never farted in front of a woman and you don't want them farting in front of you. You could have given me a thousand guesses. Well, the new girl that I've been seeing is totally into it. She likes my farts. They turn her on. She wants me to fart on her. I swear to God, if we're in the car and I cut one, she starts playing with herself. She doesn't like them especially smelling. But if I do it in. If I do it in my sleep, she'll wake me with a mouth hug. Maybe you should try it in your world. I never imagined this is a thing. It is awesome. And tons of new doors have opened sexually. Riley, by the way, I listen from Ohio. Oh, there's. There's your Ohio finish.

[B]

Making it up.

[A]

You think that's made up?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because he wants you to try to.

[A]

No, no, it wouldn't have. It will never happen. No, I don't think so. So I looked and I. Because I thought to myself, what's that? It's real. It's an actual. Got a name and everything. And usually it comes from. Just to break it to Riley and. Oh, comes from the fact that she's been sexually abused to a point where farts turn around. Here's the other thing about what Brett said, which was a perfect analysis. Pig. You think farts turn around just because they're yours? Somebody else farts, she's gonna start the. The honeyhole is gonna start to tingle. She's got a. She's got something wrong with her. So it's got a name.

[B]

Must be from Hilliards.

[A]

That could be. It's got a name and it's. Let me find it again. It's called aproptophilia. And it's a real condition where people are turned on by flatulence. It's like a very real mental thing. A 22 year old American from Illinois recalled his crush on a girl who once farted in school and it made him feel weird. He said, once I smelled her fart and heard her fart, it blew my mind. That simple biology. The girls farted. But hearing her do it made me fawn over her. Realizing she was capable of such a thing sparked a strange interest in me. His attraction to farts was the attraction it had, no matter who did it, including dudes. So a dude would fart like his buddies hanging around. Like, he would blow Toledo every five minutes. Hits that Chuck Mangione. Heino. Toledo's getting blown. The guy's like. And then I had to realize that it was a disorder. I had a. My attraction to farts wasn't limited to women. As a teenager, I started to realize that when male friends started to kind of fart and goof around, I would get aroused. We had a game then with one of the other guys who kind of liked it, we'd fart in each other's faces. And then we started a sexual relationship.

[B]

Worked out.

[A]

It's not gay. It's. It's. It's aproptophilia. Brady knew about it, and then the list went on. Amputation is called apotemnophilia. You know this one? Dacrophilia. People who are smart will know this. You know what dacrophilia is?

[B]

No.

[A]

You might have this a little bit. You're turned on by a chick's tears. Oh, she's crying. That means she. She knows what she's done wrong. Five across the mouth. Got five across the face. Yeah, you fetish crying. Compassionate types are aroused by empath empathy. And dominant submissives like to make someone cry to turn themselves on. Acrophilia.

[B]

That's why they go to funerals.

[A]

Yeah, maybe kind of get all crazy about it. Salarophilia is getting down and dirty at the sight of filth of an unkept bed or bedroom. And we're talking not just, like, crumbs.

[B]

Didn't know that was the name of.

[A]

It, but I remember seeing, like, stuff that, you know, like you wipe off after a.

[B]

Don't wash it.

[A]

Well, yeah, but, you know, you'll give yourself a tug and then use the sheets to wipe it. And then a couple days later, you just still have those same sheets, and they'd come in and see that and be all turned on by. It's an obsession with a mucky bed. And again, usually stems from Uncle Todd coming in there doing damage to the girl. And, like, she's like, oh, this is. This is a sexual. There's a ton of these things, but if you're a pervert, these broads are effed up. Yeah. Oh, you're a mess. The Big one is that. Well, there's a couple of real big ones, but the. The one that, you know, you want to avoid is vorophilia, which is the one where you're kind of obsessed with taking bites of human flesh and eating it during, like a physical, sexual thing. Like, you start getting a little. Army Hammer. Army Hammer was at the. Yeah. So dude who.

[B]

And dude who's into farting.

[A]

His girlfriend's in a farting. Take her to a therapist and find out who did the. Oh, there's Toledo. There goes Toledo.

[B]

Marv Albert. That's her.

[A]

Balbert. Not Marvel.

[B]

No, but Marvel Rabbit was a biting guy too. Was he? Oh, yeah, that's right.

[A]

Toledo's driving down the road farting his songs.

[B]

Chuck Manchin.

[A]

Yeah. I thought you were saying this was Herb Albert Marvel. Yes. Well, he just took a bite of a hooker.

[B]

Numerous.

[A]

He didn't want to eat her. He just bite. He didn't eat the flesh. The difference between that is. No, there's a difference. You know the difference between taking a bite and eating.

[B]

I do, but I know you do. We confirm that these are just bites. I mean, they're. Right.

[A]

But if you bite and chew and eat. If you take a chunk. Marv made marks. Marv didn't take pieces out. He just went and sunk his teeth in. If you dive down, close the jaw and pull some flesh off like a dog off a bone. Now you're. Now you're cannibalistic. Biting is.

[B]

I know, but that's fine. Then I go to that. Then they're saying Army Hammer did that. I don't know if he did anything.

[A]

He was talking about one.

[B]

He could have been a biter just as well.

[A]

But it wasn't about biting. It was about him talking about eating that person. You can't take a bite of a human being. You can nibble. That's cute. Kind of hot. But you don't want to take a chunk. And then they take it outside and put your paws on it and start pulling it apart. That's a. That's. But yeah, if this dude wants to get turned on by farts, come on down here because Toledo is basically a strip club for you. He's. He's a porn site with his first thing in the morning. Morning, guys. Then he walks into his office. The orchestra's tuning up. Here he comes. Toledo, we need you. Oh, no. This is still the guitar solo. Yeah, he went after this. That's how good the guitar is. Anyway. Fart turn offs. Never. Never thought that would be a. And He's. It is Brady. I know you don't want these things to be real, but they're happening right now. There's a woman right now getting farted on and just chowing down. I said I don't know that she's in. What is ingesting? That's inhaling. That's not ingesting. You hungry? You just inhale it. If you ingest a fucking fart, you're eating. That's a different thing. But if you inhale, then I don't. She. And again, he said she doesn't like the smell. She just likes the function of the fart.

[B]

She's smell would be distracting then.

[A]

That's what she said. She doesn't like the smelly ones, but if you let. She'd love me. I. I literally can say this. Nine times out of ten, my farts don't smelled ass. I don't know. I mean, when they do, it's a little heavy. When they do. No, you don't know. But Brady, you don't even know how often I fart. It's constant around you. Maybe once or twice. No, you can't. Not with your diet. Your eyes roll back, you start to go, oh, baby, we know when you fart. We know when you're spinning. Yeah. You know what she's done, your daughter? It's like, oh, Brady's farting exorcist again. And we know when you fart because you giggle like a schoolgirl, you find you're kind of almost that. You don't find it sexually aroused. You find it to be like the happiest day of your life. If Brady farts and we don't know and we hit it. You've never seen a redder human being in your life.

[B]

It's funny stuff.

[A]

Yeah. Indians want to make him a chief. That's why people call you chief all the time. It's because you're bright red. Hey, chief, what's going on? Why are you doing that? Must have just fared through. Yeah, you find it, you tomato red. Oh, Freddy, that smells terrible. Oh, you want a blow job? No. No, I don't. And most women don't find that most. Almost all. That's a good red flag right there. If you've got a girl and you fart and she goes, oh, my God. Assume sexual abuse in her past. That's it. Well, that's a hit it and quit it. Don't. You know? Don't. No, it's not. That's a run from it relationship type.

[B]

I'm not going to any.

[A]

First off, you're a pig for farting in front of a girl that you're dating. I would know. I would never do that anyway. No, that's disgusting. This is crooked pot, crooked lid. But if you're farting on a girl you're just first dating, or if she even.

[B]

You laugh at something she says, you know, racist.

[A]

And I would never do that. How dare you? Yeah, I wouldn't either. That's terrible. But if, you know.

[B]

Well, she don't even have to say anything. Racist. She's talking about the Denver Nugget gets.

[A]

And you're like, okay, if you let one.

[B]

Rocky.

[A]

If you let one slip, it happens. And she goes, oh, finally we can talk about it. It's like, oh, but if you're farting in the car, that's what I. You got to find that out the hard way. I don't like any girl that's okay with it. Pig. Who fingered you wrong. You should. You should have some class, pig. You should tell me I'm gross and move on. And. And it's just. It's disgusting. Say hi to Uncle Mangione. Yeah. Oh, no. That girl's in there just rubbing that thing like she's painting a house. Yeah, so it's just one of those. And if you do it in front of Brett, you know, he's a typical Italian. You just fat.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Does it turn you on? It's not as good as my ma's. Yeah, we gotta get compared to Mom. Nothing's as good as my mama. I try to flop, but he compares me to his mother all the time. My mom's farts, they made the room smell better. People used to hire her to come over after she ate beans to freshen the room. You ever go down on a girl? You're good, but nothing tastes like Ma's. What are you talking about? Mama's sauce is always better. You're good. You'll never be as good as my ma. You got good gravy down there. But while I'm eating, the only thing I really like to eat is my mas. Anyway, so if you've got a fart fetish right now and you're spinning around going, what's wrong with that? Look deeper into your history. You're. You've got something called a repressed memory you haven't unlocked yet. And that's for when that weird dude started to touch you and then sat on your face and, hey, John, if that girl gets turned on by farts, what does that. What does Rustbutt do for her. Oh my God. Oh her. Yeah. And I know there's going to be dudes that email me so pussy about farting on your cheek. It's natural, man. Sometimes you can't help it. You can always help it. You know what you could do? Get up, have some decency to walk away from the situation. Go into a bathroom or something else and then cut one loose. Go outside. Farting on someone means that your butthole's broken. Can't help it. Oh, you need to see a doctor then. Farting on you. Cuz I'm. It's cuz you're lazy. You're too lazy and you just don't care anymore. Same with a girl. If a. If a girl starts farting around the house, just free. She's basically. It's like a skunk.

[B]

It's a man's job.

[A]

She's trying to keep you away. It's not a man. It's a. It's a horribly gross man's job. A real man would not disrespect someone that way. Do it to each other as guys. Cuz we're not trying to bang each other. Hopefully. Except for this dude. Riley. Yeah, not here. That's true. You don't want to go down the hall, start farting. It's like a Call of the Wild.

[B]

It's a calling card.

[A]

Did someone blow the horn? Brockto Crew Assemble. Assemble. We have a new entry. I just farted down in the. Oh my God. Be like Voltron. They all come together. It is a truer statement. Has never been made. Assemble. Giant. Homosexual. Former. Not a Transformer. Those people don't make decisions. Gayformers. Yeah, it's. It's a thing. So don't fart on each other. That's a rule. Just don't. Arizona's most powerful rock media station. He said fully erect. Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu.mo. and don't just study tech. Live it. Hey everybody, it's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And you hear me all the time talking about my friends At Lost Our home Pet rescue we do the pick of the litter and it's brought to you by our friends [e-mail] Every week I head over to Lost our home Pet rescue and I meet a brand new beautiful animal that needs a home. The work they do at losterhome is unbelievable. Not just your average pet shelter, that is for sure. They help people in a lot of situations. Look them up online. Lost our home.org and check out everything we do at 98kupd.com in the pick of the litter section. The rest of homework's morning sickness. This is the big red radio. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense terraining. They've got the specials. They've got the everything's running. We've been telling you about this the whole time. The wacky mix them ups that's going on in this world. Of course. Brett, you know how I had Jack ham hit me in the face with his head two days ago and blackened my eye a little and then like cut me. I think that might be from the cold compress, but I got like a little scar.

[B]

Probably feel a little shinier.

[A]

I wasn't bleeding, but. I know. Well, no is his head. He doesn't have claws on his head, Brady.

[B]

Oh, that's right.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. Remember when I said head? That was the big giveaway. Yeah. I thought he swatted, but no, he hit me with his head as I bent down. He stood up and he. But he got me. Brett said that Matthiah had the same thing happen to listen to this story. Go ahead, Brett. Well, she's listen to sell this bag of crap. What. What are you talking. Go ahead. No, no. What really happened or you want to.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Tell me what you're trying to sell us. Go ahead.

[B]

Not that. I was just.

[A]

She's got. She's got a fat lip right now because like, she came home last night and you know, she bent down to pet Carmela and the doberman just jacked her right in the. Right in the face and she bit her lip.

[B]

Exactly what happened.

[A]

I was there. I just want to pop in it real quick. That's exactly what happened. Thank you. Brett was minding his own business.

[B]

So the. The Dobie had a phone book. You know, I mean, things, you know.

[A]

Things happen around Brett's house. The dog out of control. Right. You really think about euthanization? This dog is dangerous. Also for your dog. But, you know, I mean, on the flip side of, if you look at it, it's, you know, she has a fat lip now. After my alarm didn't go off this morning. I don't know. I'm just saying, she didn't make it to. To work on my alarm. What do you mean? In the middle of the day, he's like, oh, your dog gave you a black eye yesterday. Funny, that is the same thing almost exactly as what happened to my wife. Ma talking like that. What are you talking about? Anyway, she has got a broken leg that is fattened.

[B]

My dog, Luca Brav.

[A]

It is completely from the dog, not anything else.

[B]

Brett's alarm didn't go off.

[A]

He was so concerned about her, he fell asleep.

[B]

It was so out.

[A]

It was. So you were sleeping. That's exactly what happened occurred.

[B]

You weren't asleep.

[A]

So sound asleep. You missed work. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. My wife set my alarm. What do you want? My wife's lip was damaged. I'm so sad for it. All right. I am crying.

[B]

You said on the way in he had a dump. A remnant carpet that they don't use anymore.

[A]

I do a little remodeling at the house. Yeah, well, you know, it's been tough on him, so he's gotta, you know, gotta fill his time. Oh, no. Hi, Katie. Governor Katie. Hi, guys.

[B]

Governor snobs.

[A]

That's right. I heard your wife's uglier. I'm glad you hit her. Hey, I didn't. It was the dog. I didn't do it. I'm going to make it legal. What? That you can hit women. That you can hit women. Oh, okay. Oops. I mean, woman. I misspelled it. Well, I got to pick one. Brad. What's it going to be? Made it legal. I made a governor stamp and everything. It's legal for Batman to hit one woman, but he has to write down her name right now, and it has to be someone in his household. So good luck, Brad.

[B]

Stay busy.

[A]

You're welcome.

[B]

Thanks. Katie. Good to see you.

[A]

Your wife's face. Yeah, it looks like one of the Kardashians had, like, a bad lip injection. And also, if they were 90. Man, she just hates Hobsters.

[B]

Hates me.

[A]

Messiah. Sorry about your lip. Messiah. I'm concerned about you. Blink twice if Brett should be. If Brett's the dog, twice. Nothing worse. Brett walking around this weekend with his wife with a split lip. The dog. She ran into the dog. See?

[B]

Adobe on the leash.

[A]

It just so happens to be off of my story where I actually did get a black eye. And you're like, oh, that's not bad. I'm gonna give her one tonight. Bad dog.

[B]

Whoops.

[A]

Of course it was Carmela. Yeah. The. The. The character from the Sopranos. I know, I know. They're fighting over me.

[B]

Well, Americans were asked in a new poll who various fictional characters would vote for who.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

Basically, which candidates. Which fictional characters on TV and movies.

[A]

Yes. Would vote for Paris, a real presidential thing. If it were determined by fictional character.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Gotcha.

[B]

Kamala Harris supporters include Liz Lemon from 30 Rock.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Leslie Knope from Parks and Rec.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Phoebe, Monica, and Joey from Friends.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Olivia Benson from Law and Order, Elaine from Seinfeld, Peter Parker, Spider Man, Marge Simpson, Blanche from the Golden Girls, Barbie and Ken.

[A]

And we're going all the way back.

[B]

Cliff Huxtable from the Cops.

[A]

I'm not sure you want his endorsement.

[B]

Donald Trump voters. Tony Stark. Iron Man. Archie Bunker. Hank Hill. Don Draper.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Roseanne Connor. Tony Soprano.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Omer Simpson.

[A]

Well, you just got the endorsement. There you go.

[B]

Hannibal lecture Victor.

[A]

There's my vote. That's it.

[B]

Biff from Back to the Future. Dwight from the Office. Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec. Walter White from Breaking Bad. Rambo. And Maverick from Top Gun.

[A]

All right. Tony Soprano had me. Yeah. I'm kind of with you. I'm kind of with you on that one. I'm thinking about voting. Is not gonna vote for that girl. Who's your boss in his family? Brett. It's a man. Of course. Never have a woman in charge of anything. It's ridiculous. She should be somebody's Kumar second in charge. She was America's Kumar for four years. Nothing happened.

[B]

A marketing agency used a list of criteria to find the sexiest bald men in the world.

[A]

Well, here we go.

[B]

They used smile analysis.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Shine factor.

[A]

I don't think that's a thing. Don't search that.

[B]

Media perception.

[A]

Check that out. Oh, my God, no.

[B]

Here we go.

[A]

The top 10. Almost positive. Brady said the two worst things you can say on the radio in the last 10 minutes. Gulp. Google search. Shine factor. That's a good band name, though.

[B]

Number 10, Vin Diesel.

[A]

Very sexy. Baldman. The Rock is number one.

[B]

He's number two.

[A]

Oh. Jason Statham isn't technical.

[B]

We bald didn't make the.

[A]

No Shine factor.

[B]

Number nine, Stanley Tucci.

[A]

Okay. Come on. I'm better than Stanley Tucci. Even with this giant.

[B]

Number eight. Some French soccer coach, Bruce Willis in there somewhere. Number seven, Samuel L. Jackson.

[A]

Good One. I was gonna say the black guys.

[B]

Are gonna, you know.

[A]

Yeah, Exactly. Yeah.

[B]

Number six, Danny DeVito.

[A]

You guys got a shot. Come on.

[B]

Number five, Terry Crews.

[A]

I don't even want to hear the rest.

[B]

Number four, surfer Kelly Slater. Number three, Shaq. Okay. Number two, the Rock. To the Rock.

[A]

Number one, Michael Jordan.

[B]

Prince William.

[A]

What?

[B]

Oh, come on.

[A]

Jesus. You guys lost out to Prince William and Danny DeVito. Number 15.

[B]

And John, you were number one.

[A]

I was 89th. You were 15th. Yeah, yeah. Because of course, Danny DeVito voter. You run her up the DeVito in the. Let's make this fun.

[B]

You're allowed to vote twice.

[A]

Sure, sure. Okay. That stings. I mean, not that I expected to be on the list, but, I mean, how bad is it for Vin Diesel that he's on the list, but still four behind DeVita. That stings.

[B]

They are basically asked a question about how their performance is going to be pictured.

[A]

Brett just pulled up a picture of Danny DeVito because he's a hairy. You're a hair haver. This is bigoted of you. He's adorable. But they said sexy. No woman is ever gonna put a poster of Danny DeVito in her room. No kid is like, yes, we do. There could be, like. There could be a girl who has a poster of the Rock or Terry Crews or Vin Diesel.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Nobody's got a Danny DeVito one. That's when that Sunny in Philadelphia is pretty popular. That was the old joke that I forgot to do.

[B]

A comedian, he has a Jersey Mike Sub in his hand.

[A]

Sure, you've got the picture, but it's got a focus. There's. You don't even know who the guy is. Hyper focus on. That's the old joke that the guy used to tell. I forget. It was like, women used to always say, I just want a guy with a sense of humor. I don't care how he looks like then. That's why girls in junior high always had posters of Buddy Hackett on their wall.

[B]

George Burns.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it's good. George Burns. Sense of humor is all they're ever after. They're. They're just constant liars about that. You go into a girl's room. I remember going into a girl's room and she had posters of Sebastian Bach and Sting everywhere or what walls were covered in both of those guys. And I'm like, oh, well, I'm gonna go. Why? Come on. No posters of George Carlin on the wall. It's like, I'm here for the light. You said you wanted a guy with a sense of Humor. That's. I signed up for that. I didn't know that I had to live up to the most beautiful rock man of all time. And then Sting. No, I just want a guy. Yeah, yeah. George Carlin or Dick Cavett. I mean, there was nobody I related to on the walls at the time. A little bit distinct because he and I had a similar male pattern. Baldness. He was in his 40s. I was in my teens. But it's still. We were pretty much on the same page.

[B]

Robert Zemeckis says there's a good script for Roger Rabbit sequel sitting at Disney, but they won't make it because Disney won't show Jessica Rabbit in it.

[A]

She's too horish. Yeah, no kidding.

[B]

And actually, in the sequel, Disneyland Toontown attraction. Jessica Rabbit's in a trench coat.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Oh, that's right.

[A]

She's not in the red sparkly dress.

[B]

But he's saying maybe a chance now, since Deadpool is under the Disney umbrella. And they.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

She'd be a softball.

[A]

But violence has always trumped sexuality. If you can. You can have people getting killed like crazy, but if you show a nipple, the world collapses. And Jessica Rabbit is very sexy. But is it still Kathleen Turner's voice? Because that kind of changes. Yeah. Oh, boy. Have to do. AI, Look, Roger, it's time for a couple of cookies. Don't you think we should eat something? Leave some food for the rest of us?

[B]

If that happens, would we have him in here?

[A]

No. Roger Rabbit.

[B]

I'll take care of that.

[A]

Okay. Brady had to kick him out once. Robert Fleischman. Is it Fleishman? Charles Fleischman. Thought it was Charles. Charles Fleischman. Brady had to kick him out. He showed up one day, and we didn't have him booked. He just showed up out of the blue. Charles Fleischman. And then he's. And I said, no, G. We had something else going on. And he stood there Friday. And that was back when we first started, and Brady was, quote, the producer. So it's basically just he and I in the room. And I said, well, I got. You got to go take care of this. What producers do. All right, fine. And he comes back and you can see it in his face. Puts his headphones on. I'm like, what happened? He was a dick. Like, what? And evidently, the guy who voiced Roger Rabbit started to give Brady a don't you know who I am? Moment. Oh, man, I'm sorry. We didn't have you booked. You gotta go. Don't you know who I am? I do You're Roger Rabbit's voice. It's time to go. And he was doing stand up somewhere. He used to be a bad stand up comet, and he did stand up somewhere. And Brady had to ask him to go home.

[B]

Not happy.

[A]

No, please, get the hell out of here. And he was. He did that to Paul Rodriguez, too. Remember? Paul Rodriguez just showed up. Up one day and we didn't have room for him. Like, I'm sorry, we can't. I. I can't allow this.

[B]

He understood it more so that it.

[A]

Was like, look, we didn't book you. I don't know how you got here.

[B]

But yeah, Charles, he went to the wrong station.

[A]

Well, we're here. I thought P was on the air. You know, we were in the quad. So this has to be a station that'll take me. I'm Paul Rodriguez. I think it's there. He drove through, said, there's a radio station back there, homes. Pull over. He'll take me. Turned out we were the ones, so we had to tell him no. Although I would have taken Paul Rodriguez much faster than Charles Fleischmann. Fleischer. Fleischmann. I don't remember. And I can do the Roger Rabbit voice just as good as him. Even though he invented it. We don't need him. Kathleen Turner, however, we're gonna have to have Brattle and come up here and do that one.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be in the new Roger Rabbit. My name is Bradley. Please, Roger, follow me to the cab that Bob Hoskins used to drive, but he's no longer with us. Please, Jessica. You're so pragmatic. Well, it's true. Never forget the first time she saw Bus and I'd never heard her voice. Tiny little frame, all that hair, looks at me with those Disney eyes. What's your dog's name? Oh, Jesus Christ. They can't come out of you. Are you a recording? What? What are you talking about? Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said, fully erect. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com. i had a friend text me the other day, and he was skeptical. He was like, there's got to be a catch, man. Math is absolute. It can't lie. So we went to the computer, put his info in the little [e-mail] and found out that his loan, which he owes $520,000 over the next 27 years on, could be paid off in eight years. And he will save 389,000 in interest. That's insane. You should be skeptical. Ask questions. Then you'll see for yourself. It's not magic. It's just math. Lifechangerloan.com It's John Holmberg here seeing clear as a bell, thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. If you're squinting or cleaning glasses with that little microfiber rag all the time, well, just knock it off. I was in the same boat as you then. I went to the Schwartz Laser Eye center, sat down with Dr. Jay Schwartz, and in one visit, Dr. Jay Schwartz had a plan for me that allowed me to ditch needing glasses to see. It's as easy as opening your eyes. Give them a call. 480-483-4830, eyes. And then head to the Schwartz Laser Eye center, the official eye center for your diamondbacks and sons. The best of homework's morning sickness. I'm Maddie Akupd. It's time for the Guadalupe Square. And we've got our friend Thriller Corey Walsh hosting. Corey, take it away. Thank you, Chancellor. Let's begin. Top left square with the losing Harrison Pike. We're still present. Still present for a little longer. I'm gonna put a painting here. Yeah, I'm gonna have a new chair here. This is your own square. Quiet down. We're moving in. You heard it yesterday. Or whenever. Wednesday. Get the out of my house, bitch. Can you say something to reassure my wife? Wife. Reassure your wife. You're gonna be just fine. The other one. Reassure your wife. Is she here legally?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Tell her that. You know what? She should grab her own strap up sister. It's gonna get fun. That's what I say. Oh, let me go back in my square now. A couple more minutes and this guy will be out. Not too much longer. Portraits of me. 50, 50 states. 50 portraits of me in the square. That'll be up on January 7th or something like that. Just to commemorate the anniversary. Who wants a square back? We're gonna be there January 20th. We're gonna be here still, right? Right before we go. Are we staying? Are we gonna be in a square after all this is over? Brad. What? Is it, Brad?

[B]

I don't think so. Get out my square, bitch.

[A]

I just wanna. I just wanna. I just wanna say.

[B]

Talking.

[A]

I will not get the out of your square, bitch. I just wanna say as I quit. Never give up. Ever got hope when you concede and tell people you're not gonna run anymore. Never give up. Always keep trying. Brady, I'm not crying. I'm strong.

[B]

Let's work together.

[A]

Get out of the square. There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere. I knew you were. Well, I'll let you guys lift your wounds. Let's move on ahead here to birthday boy Tracy. That's my birthday. How you doing? What's up, Brilla? Do you still have the lawsuit money? I do have lawsuit money. I'm running a little low, so I'll be out on the freeway this weekend.

[B]

Performing live in front of a Walmart truck.

[A]

There you go. Good for you. That's right. I don't know what else to do. That's the most lucrative thing I ever done. I worked so hard all my life. Stand up comedy, dirty rock, doing movies with Kevin Smith even though nobody liked it. One night I made 30 times that amount just getting run over by a truck. Truck. Don't think I'm not gonna try that again.

[B]

Really?

[A]

How old am I?

[B]

53.

[A]

53 years old. I'll say. 50 something. I look good for 53 and haven't been under a Walmart semi once. Not many people can say that. I can still whip through this ass running backwards. Not many people who've been on the Walmart truck say that. I thought your back was messed up. It doesn't feel good. But I still run fezen who backwards?

[B]

Tracy, guess what? We just got three years older. You're 56.

[A]

I'm 56 now. Did you see that? Time is flying. We must be having a blast because I didn't feel the last three years happened. Second, golf's 53. Who's president? It's almost election year. The way Brady works, I was 53 when this started. This square. Now I'm 56. By the time the show's over, I'm be 160. Let's stay focused here. I'm gonna have a bunch of birthdays. Happy birthday, Brady.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Thanks. You might make it to 100 that way. Who knows? Let's move on over to our recent winner. President Trump. Very much so. President Elect Trump gonna be President Trump again. Great to see you. Thriller. Excellent job. We won't deport you. It would take forever. I don't know where you're from, but you're gonna stay right there. I'm great to the handicap. The handicap people love me. Me, in fact, I've got a great handicap. Much better than Mark Cuban's on the golf course. I'm so much better. White House ADA compliant. Pardon? Is the White House ADA compliance? I don't know. It doesn't need to be. We're not going to hire any of those. No thrillers. Not on. No thriller. Can't be that. We like to get things done. I like to have people like me. Send Corey into my office. I don't want to wait 20 minutes.

[B]

I like.

[A]

I like my employees to be able to run when I need them forward and back. Call me at 6am for a 2pm meeting. Exactly. We've got to. Brett won't even be awake. It's just a thing. You guys aren't invited. This isn't gonna happen. I'm gonna get out of this Parker Square. Get back over to the good presidential square. I'll be back. It's great. I will be happy to have you. And we're also starting our mass deportation. Not just of the Mexicans and the illegals and the Haitians eating our animals. Also of liberal cucks that wouldn't shut up over the last few years. Bashing me, trying to throw me in jail. Guess what? What? Enjoy your time up in Kida, cuz I just started a new country and it's going to be where you live. Watching your wife take it from a Republican the right way. Am I right, Rhett? That's right. I'm right. Thank you for your support. Plenty of plans so far. Let's head on over now to the left middle square.

[B]

A.

[A]

Another birthday. Gordon Ramsay. Happy birthday to me. Did someone make me a cake?

[B]

I made you a monkfish cake monthly.

[A]

Sk with tons of risotto frosting.

[B]

Yes. Yuck.

[A]

Terrible, Brady. The worst cake I've ever had. Sorry. Sorry, chef. Unbelievable. What are you doing, donkey? I want a good cake. Red velvet monkfish cake back in the oven shelf. Gotta put my cake in the oven. This is unbelievable. What'd you get me for my birthday, Corey? What I got you was filet mignon. Deep fried. Very good. You can't afford it. I don't want it. You bought it with plasma money. That's the plate. That's the glaze on top. That makes me sick. You're going to kill someone. You would like it if it was French. You make me want to run backwards from you. Just keep my eye on you.

[B]

If it was really like it.

[A]

All right, well, before everyone any more birthdays, let's head on over to the center square. Hallmark animal savior Brady. That's right. It's the Hallmark movie season. I just got watching Christmas Island. Christmas island island was on. That's right. I heard about this. Christmas island was a great program. I'm going to be reviewing my Hallmark stuff and I'm going to save any animal I find. There was a wild javelina I saw on the side of the road just outside, and I'm like, you know what? He's got no home. But not this holiday season. There's my brand new javelina pig living in my backyard.

[B]

What?

[A]

Kirby, too?

[B]

I call it Broken Tusk.

[A]

Tuscany Kid? No, everything I love is named Kirby. You hoping for some, like, Arizona style bacon? What's your goal here? I'm not getting it. Ooh, I didn't think of that. Wait a minute. There's a whole bunch of bacon on the back of that thing. Yeah, it's a javelina. I had to call my neighbor Muckrett, ready to have him slice this javelina's throat. Put him out of his misery. He shouldn't be in the backyard. Nuts out for peanut. That's very true. Let's head up over now to the middle right square. Robert De Niro joining us. What's going on, man?

[B]

You on TikTok?

[A]

I'm upset right now. I'm a little upset. The big orange menace is back in the. Back in the office. Oh, oh, oh.

[B]

Are you staying here?

[A]

Feeling pretty bad. I'm gonna stay in America for a little while. Stay for a little while. Then maybe I'm gonna move away. Not thinking about staying for the whole time. Where you going, Brett? We're going back to Italy. No, no, I'm staying here. Here. How's the baby? My baby is growing up in a horrible place. I'm. I'm a father of an infant. I can't live in a life like this, Brett, you know. Oh, oh, oh. Trying to keep it together. I'm an old man. I'm sure. Last night, Brett's dog hit Ma right in the face.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Flipping off a little bit about the current political situation. Dogs hate that stuff. I know that for sure. I don't know, Brett. I don't know. I don't know what's coming. You talking to me, Brady? You looking at me? Huh? Brady? Do me a favor. Just let me know something I need to know. Are you ready? Who did you vote for?

[B]

Trump.

[A]

Little Nazi Pavlovian response there. Proud of you. Let's head on over now to the bottom where Brady's secrets are. Give us a hint. Hi, guys.

[B]

I'm 49 years old. I'm an actress. Let's start. Let's hang on. Let's talk about Sharknado.

[A]

You were in Sharknado?

[B]

My joke fell out.

[A]

Your boobs are out.

[B]

Happens to us all.

[A]

Don't feel too bad.

[B]

You're beautiful, right?

[A]

You were very pretty at one point.

[B]

Who's hungry?

[A]

Nobody. Me either. You don't eat? You're not eating anymore. Just checking. All right. All right. Well, before we hurt your brain anymore, let's go to the bottom of the square.

[B]

Here we got.

[A]

And a Gene spins together. That's exactly right. Israeli President Benjamin Netanyahu. Very Shalom. Shalom to all. Shalom. Almost the season. Yes. Tis the season very soon. And hopefully we'll be rid of all Palestinians by this Chanukah. I'm very excited about it. I have a special guest you'd like to hear from him. Benjamin Netanyahu's talk show Square. I'd like to bring in a very special Jew, my good friend Gene Simmons. Gene, take it away. Gene, are you here? Wait a minute. Of course I'm here. How are you, Benjamin? Good to see you both.

[B]

That you were just here.

[A]

I'm Gene Simmons from kiss and we're going to kill all the Hamas.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

We're going to kill them all. We're going to save or start the season after. After all, the last Hamas is dead. We're going to start our brand new KISS Jews and Stews program for all the leftover children of Palestine. The Jews and Stews. Is that a tour or. Let me interrupt here real quick. Gene. Benjamin Netanyahu here, President of Israel. What Gene said is exactly right. And I would have said it almost the exact same way. That's right, Benny. Thanks, Gene.

[B]

Man, what a. What is going on?

[A]

What a show.

[B]

You guys are falling twins.

[A]

Halach. Hello. Hala. Halak. That means something to someone in Israel, I'm sure. I'll ask Larry. He'll let me know. Gene, does it mean something to you? It does. It means we're going to kill them all. And now that Trump is President. I'm sorry. Nothing good is going to happen to that country. Let's head on over now. Bottom right square. Our Lord and Savior Trip Read. Yes. Sorry about that. About the dinner, Cory. No, it's okay. I never to be invited anyway. You're fine. Some clients come along and deserve a little schmooze. And Jeff Jr. And his family and 15 employees that I like the most and a few stragglers from outside and a couple of people who never had Opus 12017 from the seller and just anybody that wanted it. Except for you were invited to the dinner and you were selling plasma. Yeah, that was it. I called. I forgot. Hey, Brady. I called Cory. I said, cory, want to go to dinner. That's what I was gonna say, but you didn't answer. Cause you were dizzy from having no blood that day.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

I was too drained, and I was in a hurry. So you did get invited, but sorry. You said big clients. I'll assume you mean Tasha and Jeannie when you say big clients. Tasha and Jeannie were there. They just showed up. But you didn't because your brain was bubbling. You think I know where that steakhouse is? I have no idea where you are. That's exactly right, Cory. Wow. Cory doesn't know where we were. Brady, let's go again.

[B]

That was cool. You tipped the valet $1,000.

[A]

He deserved it. He had to walk so far, being so incredibly ambulatory and mobile. Corey, you should be a valet. I could fake getting hit and make it an insurance claim. That's exactly what I was thinking. All right, who's on the phone? Don and Jamie are on the phone. Jamie is a girl, I assume. Jamie, are you there? There? Yes. Jamie and a Trump America. That is true.

[B]

Here we go.

[A]

Jim, I don't know where I want to be here. Don, are you there? Yes. All right, Jamie, you're a lady named. We got a lot of guys named Don in here. Not a fan. Jamie, what square do you want first? Go. Trump. Straightforward. Know what she wants? Respect it. She picked me on Tuesday, she did it again on Friday. And I'm gonna be right there in your corner for the next probably 12 to 15 years. That's right. Never gonna have another election again, that's for sure. Make my groceries cheaper. That's exactly right. We're gonna get your groceries cheaper. As you sound like an eater. Thank you. Oh, come on. Whoa. I can say whatever I want. I can say whatever I want now. We're all eaters there, Jamie. You're a human being. We all eat. We all eat. Just. Only chunky people would be mad at that phrase. So now you. Now I know for sure. And that laugh, that dead giveaway that there's red velvet leftover in your fridge right now. Ooh, band name. Red velvet leftover. Red Velvet Leftover. Great. Great band name. I like that, Cory. Very good. We'll start a band. All right. Big Red velvet leftovers. I got a big question for you, President Elect. Go ahead. Torpedoes weren't invented when the term damn the torpedoes was first used in 1864. That's stupid, Corey. Why would people say a word that hadn't been invented yet, before it was invented? That's crazy. That's something. Pablo Francisco Would say it's. In fact, that's something Kamala would say. A dumb thing like that would only fall out of the mouth of Kamala. Get out of my house. In fact, I think Tom Petty invented Damn the torpedoes in 1976 in an incredible album. We all remember it. Good man. He was a good man. Great man. Florida guy, I think. Was he a big fan of yours? Big fan of mine. We used all Diddy parties. That's how he died. People don't know.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

I'll say that's false. There's no way you're using a word for something that hasn't been invented yet. All right, over to Jamie. What is your. I'm sorry. Do you agree or disagree? True.

[B]

She says true.

[A]

Okay, so that is correct. Nice little curveball there. So I'll get you the square. Actually, get to the square. Congratulations. All right, we hop on over to Dawn. What do you think? Yes. Sorry, I'm at work. Everybody on the Squares lately has been like, corey the valet. Why is it all taking so goddamn long? Okay, so the. She got what, the top? She got Trump, top right. There are literally eight squares left. You cannot lose. What's the one below Trump? Got? Bad Wi Fi. Below Trump is Roberto Bob De Niro. All right, so, Robertino, okay. That for you? After hearing your callers on the show, I realize why it's taking Arizona so long to count the votes. We're with you, Bob.

[B]

There's more. Clean. Thanks.

[A]

48Th. 49th in education. Is that right? I got it.

[B]

50Th.

[A]

50Th last place. I gotta. I gotta tell you, I gotta. I'm a tough old man. A bad man. Taxi driver, let me get your mic for a. Sorry. Try to choke it down.

[B]

That's all right.

[A]

What are you looking at? Brett, make me a steak.

[B]

True or false?

[A]

There are nearly 34,000 licensed cabs in New York City, but only 29,000 personal vehicles. I remember New York City when it was good. Oh. Oh.

[B]

What's so bad about it?

[A]

Trump's running it. I'm a tough old man. I have to say that's probably true. You're gonna say it's true, but true. Okay, now, Don, do you agree or disagree? I'm gonna have to go with true. There you go. He said no. He missed it. Yes. Oh, my head. Sorry. A little blink noise messed me up. Me, too. X gets the square. So if we have.

[B]

Let's see.

[A]

Jamie goes for trip. She can get the win, you know? I don't want to hear a trip. You say you do or don't. Yeah. She wants to hear me.

[B]

I do.

[A]

Of course I want to. She wants to hear me say her name.

[B]

Ooh.

[A]

Jamie. Ooh, yeah. Hey, Jamie, unroll that pack of smokes in your sleeve and let's have one together. You smoked her. Does it sound that bad? You're terrible. Because I work at a call center, too, and I always wonder how I sound. Now I feel like I sound like the big girl who smokes too much. Yeah. X gets to swear. That's what it sounds. That's the kind of sentence that went to a game of Clue. Yeah. No. Either that or it just sounds. Sounds like you've been working in a salt mine and just breathing in all day. I find your voice sexy.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're like my little Kathleen Turner. Only not so little. Are you about a size 14? I'm making a suit. What's going on?

[B]

Don like that one.

[A]

Don like that a lot. Jamie, it. We don't know what you really look like, but what we're picturing isn't good. Let's just say I'm heavy on top. Like your chin. Which one? How far up do I have to go? Your nose. Like homework. You got some big ones, huh? Jugs ahoy. Hee hee. I think that's what you need. Your boat. Right? Can you float? It is now. Jamie's jug's a ho. Bet you bite a chip. That makes sense. All right, Trip, we got a question for you here. Yeah. President Andrew Jackson once received a 22,300 pound wheel of cheese as a gift.

[B]

True or false?

[A]

He was present like the late 1800s. That's a. I bring about £2,000 of cheese to John's house on Sundays. I'll say that's false. That's too much cheese to drag the one. Man. Even Brad cheating.

[B]

Even you. It's true.

[A]

Yeah, that's a lot of cheese. I'll say false. Okay, you're gonna say false. Now, Jamie for the win. Do you agree or disagree? Ooh, he said false. Yes, he did. I disagree. That is not correct. Are you kidding me? Next one win. Really? Yeah. She's not blown away by 2,300 pounds of cheese. That's short work between smokes. Yes. Let's hop on over to Don one more time.

[B]

Here.

[A]

Make your selection. What was his name? His birthday? Tracy Morgan. Tracy Morgan. Just say the black guy.

[B]

Gordon Ramsay.

[A]

Happy birthday. Thanks, Don. It's my birthday. It's Gordon Ramsay's birthday, too. But I know what he meant when he said I don't remember his name. You have an easy name to remember. Don just said basically out loud what all those white people are thinking. All the names sound alike. No, I did not say that. You kind of did, but that's all right. Happy birthday. When's your birthday, Don? I've had three since the show started. What's that? Never mind. Go ahead, Walter. Let me go ahead and help you out here, Tracy. Bubblegum first became pink in the 1940s when red dye was added to make it more appealing and lighter than its original drab color. What was the original drab color? Black. I bet white people hate everything black and change the color of it, don't they?

[B]

Dark gray is like ashy gray ash.

[A]

It needs some lotion, that's all. Get a little lotion on it. You don't put lotion on your gum. That's dumb. Just make it pink. I like them all pink and they're all pink. Laying down Bubblegum anotherwise. And if you're laying under a Walmart truck, there's a lot of pink. I'll say. That's true. Okay, let's hop on over to Don. Do you agree or disagree? True.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Very proud of you all. Nice job. Everybody's gonna get something, but. My God. Wow. All right, Brad. Three. Four weeks. The new three out of the last four. The new question. When you're. When you're vetting our callers. Yeah. Is. Is English your second language? We won't have a show.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's probably. We won't have a game.

[B]

We know you're at work. Yeah. Most of. How busy are you? Next week we do AI contestants.

[A]

Holy cow. Would they know how to play?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

We would just have to type in their answers.

[B]

Yeah. Quickly.

[A]

What would you need me for? Just let the AI do all the things. I wonder what we. Let's do an AI Squares.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Why not? Can we type that quickly?

[B]

Can.

[A]

Try it and just put each square in. Okay. Flaming out, bro. Flaming out. Well, that's. I'm tanking. I'm tanking this thing. I'm telling you. AI contestants. Means we don't have to give out prizes either. Always thinking about the next dollar that might be in history.

[B]

Look at that. Yep.

[A]

Saving trip. A couple bucks.

[B]

Triple.

[A]

Love that. You know what? Corey had a good idea. Let's celebrate at Ocean44 with Jeff Jr. Can we give the savings to Thriller Trip Savings. Bottom line is not savings.

[B]

No.

[A]

Kind of is. It's profit.

[B]

Can we split the savings?

[A]

No. Cuck. And I'm liberal. And I'm not gonna tell you that that's a good idea. You don't start giving the profit back, then you're the public school system. 50th place like KDOS, Arizona's most powerful rock and radio. He said fully erect. Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg here for Game Day Men's Health. The gang at Game Day Men's Health, they're just awesome. Toledo and Brett have been talking about them for a while and they got me curious. So I checked it out and boy, am I glad I did. First thing I noticed was the office. It's not a sterile, weird doctor's office. It's more like walking into a cool man cave. They do so much more than just trt. Hgh, peptide therapy, medical weight loss, some sexual health treatments for ED issues. Sometimes being the best you can be requires a little help. Get your T score, create a plan, and get back in the game. Go to gamedaymenshealth. Com.