Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Guad Squares: Presidential Impressions, Celebrity Chaos & Arizona Antics

Episode Date: November 28, 2025
Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Special Emcee: Corey Walsh ("Thriller")

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness centers on the ever-popular “Guadalupe Squares,” the show’s Arizona spin on Hollywood Squares. The crew dives into chaotic, fast-paced character impressions of celebrities and political figures (real and exaggerated), mixing in quick-witted banter, local digs, and satirical commentary on politics, pop culture, and radio life.

Key Discussion Points & Segment Breakdown

1. Introduction & Square Lineup (01:23)

• Host Corey Walsh kicks off the squares, introducing the chaotic cast of characters: Biden/Harris, Tracy Morgan, Trump, Gordon Ramsay, Hallmark Animal Savior Brady, De Niro, Netanyahu/Gene Simmons, and more.
• Theme: Parodying topical politics and pop culture through improv character bits.

2. Presidential Turnover & the Biden/Harris Square (01:28 - 02:55)

Main Gags & Dialogue:

• Biden and Harris are portrayed as clinging to office, painting pictures of themselves, and contemplating occupancy after election loss.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Never give up. Ever. You got hope when you concede and tell people you’re not gonna run anymore. Never give up. Always keep trying.” (Biden impression, [02:22])
• Light jabs at transition protocols, presidential portraits, and "who gets the square" after political careers end.

3. Tracy Morgan’s Birthday & Lawsuit Gags (03:00 - 04:29)

Highlights:

• Tracy Morgan character riffs on making his "best money" getting hit by Walmart trucks and catches up on age and Hollywood projects.
• Notable Quote:
  • “One night I made 30 times that amount just getting run over by a truck. Think I’m not gonna try that again.” (Tracy Morgan, [03:12])
• Humor about the passage of time in the square ("now I’m 56, by the time the show's over, I’m gonna be 110”).

4. Trump in the Square: Political Satire & Deportation Rants (04:33 - 05:51)

Highlights:

• Trump character brags about election wins and promises mass deportations (“not just Mexicans and Haitians… but liberal cucks…”).
• Notable Quote:
  • “I’ve got a great handicap. Much better than Mark Cuban’s on the golf course.” (Trump, [04:49])
  • “Guess what? Enjoy your time up in cup. Da da. Because I just started a new country. And it's gonna be where you live, watching your wife take it from a Republican the right way.” ([05:37])

5. Gordon Ramsay’s Birthday: Cake Fiasco (05:51 - 06:39)

Segment Details:

• Ramsay character receives joke “monkfish cake with risotto frosting” and loses it over the bad culinary gift.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Unbelievable. What are you doing, Donkey? I want a good cake. Red velvet monkfish cake.” (Ramsay, [06:10])

6. Hallmark Animal Savior Brady (06:47 - 07:44)

Highlights:

• Brady as a Hallmark animal rescuer discusses saving an injured javelina (“broken tusk”) and adopting it for the holidays.
• Jokes about animal naming conventions and the ethics of Arizona-style bacon.

7. Robert De Niro Square: Fatherhood & Political Angst (07:51 - 09:02)

Highlights:

• De Niro character is anxious about Trump’s return, references his new baby, considers moving.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Last night, Brett's dog hit my tire right in the face.” (De Niro, [08:34])
  • “My baby's growing up in a horrible place. I can't live in a life like this, Brett, you know?” ([07:57])

8. Netanyahu/Gene Simmons: Surreal Political Riffs (09:44 - 10:59)

Segment Highlights:

• Netanyahu and Gene Simmons (KISS) square engages in over-the-top dark humor about the Israeli conflict, merging rock star ego with political bravado.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “And now that Trump is president. I'm sorry, nothing good is going to happen to that country.” (Gene Simmons, [11:10])
  • “We're going to save or start the season. After all, the last Hamas is dead, we're going to start our brand new KISS Jews and Stews program.” (Gene Simmons, [10:25])

9. Listener Game Play: Pop Culture Trivia in the Squares (14:14 - 22:05)

Format:

• Listeners Jamie and Don take turns picking squares, answering trivia-hosted questions tied to the square’s subject.
• Square characters respond with bits and jokes before answering true/false trivia.

Sample Questions and Banter:

• “Torpedoes weren’t invented when the term ‘damn the torpedoes’ was first used in 1864.” ([15:31])
  • Trump says, “That’s stupid... That's something Kamala would say.”
• “President Andrew Jackson once received a 22,300 pound wheel of cheese as a gift. True or false?” ([19:51])
  • Trip Reed: "I'll say that's false. That's too much cheese to drag the one, man. Even Brady."
  • Jamie disagrees with Trip, turns out to be wrong, banter ensues.
• “Bubblegum first became pink in the 1940s when red dye was added to make it more appealing...” ([21:24])
  • Tracy Morgan claims, “That's true.”

Memorable Caller Interaction:

• Playful ribbing of caller Jamie about her voice, smoking, and imagined appearance:
  • “You're like my little Kathleen Turner. Only not so little. Are you about a size 14? I'm making a suit.” (Trip, [19:05])
  • “Jugs ahoy. Hee hee.” (Trip, [19:42])

10. Arizona Jokes & Closing Banter (22:18 - 23:31)

• Observations on the “quality” of Arizona callers and education ("48th, 49th…50th in education"), proposing “AI contestants” for future squares.
• Debate on the difference between “savings” and “profit” in giving prizes to listeners:
  • "You don’t start giving the profit back, then you’re the public school system trying... 50th place like Katie..." ([23:18])

Notable Quotes

• Biden Impression: “Never give up. Always keep trying. Brady. I'm not crying. I'm strong.” ([02:22])
• Tracy Morgan: “I look good for 53 and haven’t been under a Walmart semi once. Not many people can say that.” ([03:37])
• Trump Impression: “We’re not gonna hire any of those [ADA compliant workers]… I like my employees to be able to run when I need them, forward and back.” ([05:00])
• De Niro: “I’m feeling pretty bad. I’m stay in America for a little while… My baby is growing up in a horrible place…” ([07:54])
• Gene Simmons: “We're going to save or start the season. After all, the last Hamas is dead, we're going to start our brand new KISS Jews and Stews program…” ([10:25])
• Trip: “That’s too much cheese to drag the one, man. Even Brady.” ([20:12])

Tone & Style

• Fast, frenetic, uncompromisingly irreverent
• Heavy use of parody, stereotype, and over-the-top impressions
• Arizona-centric, with humor targeting local politics, education, and culture

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment / Notable Moment | |-------------|------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:23 | Corey introduces the Guadalupe Squares lineup | | 01:28-02:55 | Biden/Harris impersonation & political transition jokes | | 03:00-04:29 | Tracy Morgan’s (fake) birthday/lawsuit bits | | 04:33-05:51 | Trump’s return, mass deportation, and presidential boasts | | 05:58-06:39 | Gordon Ramsay’s birthday, bad cake, and chef abuse | | 06:47-07:44 | Hallmark Animal Savior Brady segment | | 07:51-09:02 | Robert De Niro square: Political anxiety & personal woes | | 09:44-10:59 | Netanyahu/Gene Simmons—KISS, politics, and dark satire | | 14:14-22:05 | Listener game play: Trivia, square banter, and phone fun | | 22:18-23:31 | Arizona jokes, AI contestants, savings vs. profit banter |

Final Thoughts

For fans of rapid-fire character bits, caustic but clever political and pop culture humor—and those who love local flavor—this episode is a treasure trove of ad-libs and absurdities. The core of the episode is the chemistry of the cast, their ability to riff in character, and their equal-opportunity lampooning of public figures and listeners alike. It's unpredictable, off-color, and tailor-made for the loyal 98KUPD audience.