
Loading summary
Brett Vesely
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Valley Chevy Announcer
Chevy trucks are known for their legendary dependability and capability. And right now is the right time to find your next Chevy truck during the Valley Chevy Black Friday event going on now. It's time to work hard and play hard in a Chevy Colorado. It's time to get in a go getter like Trax that gives you more. It's time to check out the new Equinox. It's time to see the Chevy EV lineup. Find your next Chevy during the Black Friday event at any one of the 13 Valley Chevy dealers. Get yours today at your Valley Chevy dealers. Don't miss the Black Friday event going on now.
Brett Vesely
Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?
Byron from MMP Guns
Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into MMP Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.
Brett Vesely
Okay, but what if he lives out of state?
Byron from MMP Guns
Easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it. It's really that simple.
Brett Vesely
There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.
John Holmberg
It's good to be on top, isn't it? Yeah. So get on top and ride. With the top morning show in town and the best of Homburg's morning sickness.
Brett Vesely
This segment is brought to you guys by Action Ride Shop. Now if you're thinking about heading up north to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just going to stay down here in the Valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're going to need, so check them out online@actionrideshop.com or better yet, just go visit them over there on Gilbert Road and Southern. It's Action Ride Shop.
John Holmberg
But I don't get it.
Brady
I don't know who's out there doing it.
John Holmberg
Who's out there listening to Christmas music to the tune of 30% of the city? How does it happen?
Brady
It's annual.
Brett Vesely
It's just everybody's forced to listen to it at work and everything else. It's just.
Brady
Are you.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. Where? Well, like, if you're in, like, big office buildings and stuff like that, they.
Brady
Just play Kez the whole time.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
Dentist office. You know, doctor's offices, man.
John Holmberg
Never been in stores in November. I've never. I don't. I don't know.
Brett Vesely
Well, look at, like, you go to Home Depot or something like that. They already got. They had the Christmas stuff up before Halloween.
John Holmberg
They're not playing kdc.
Ronnie
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
Most of them are just saying, you know, Christmas stuff's going crazy already.
John Holmberg
It is.
Valley Chevy Announcer
It's everywhere.
John Holmberg
Well.
Brett Vesely
And I like Christmas. I'm one of those Christmas guys.
John Holmberg
I love Christmas. I absolutely love Christmas. I don't tune into that at all. Pure bitterness is the reason I can't give them any extra love.
Brady
But they kill us.
John Holmberg
They do a good job. And there we are in the shadows of Christmas music for two solid months.
Ronnie
Watched Christmas island with Ronnie last night. Channel unbelievable.
John Holmberg
Did that result in anything fun for the private jet?
Ronnie
Oh, they had emergency landing. They're going to Switzerland for this family on the jet. She was the pilot. And bad weather. Oh, they had to land to Christmas Island. It's just outside of Nova Scotia. And they're terrible. They're snowed in. Where did they start from?
Brett Vesely
La.
Brady
I think the diversion was Nova Scotia.
John Holmberg
She's way off target.
Brady
Landon. Charlotte.
Ronnie
They're going to. Yeah, they're on their way to Switzerland.
Brady
What are you doing up there, J.
Brett Vesely
Earhart over there or what?
Ronnie
They must have been heading. It seemed like it was kind of a warm area. Maybe they're going up. Anyway, the family was loaded, you know, and so they had their two kids.
John Holmberg
Right.
Ronnie
They get. So they had to. Yeah, they got diverted because the guy wouldn't let him. They couldn't land at LaGuardia.
John Holmberg
That's New York.
Ronnie
Yeah.
Brady
So she took it up to Nova Scotia.
Ronnie
Yep.
Brady
She passed, like, nine airports.
Ronnie
These are closer, you know. Sorry. It's full. Because they're been routing all the commercial flights.
John Holmberg
Too many.
Ronnie
And they're private. And they're fueled up to make it to Switzerland.
John Holmberg
A private jet.
Ronnie
Yeah. Snowed in. And the guy that's in their traffic controller is a real jerk to the pilot, but guess he falls in love.
John Holmberg
Falls in love with the jerk. Traffic.
Ronnie
It worked out. It was.
John Holmberg
Did you feel good at the end? I did, yeah.
Ronnie
Let's go again.
John Holmberg
Is that something that's happening in your. Like, we call Toledo a cuck. This is rough that I'm hearing. You had to sit through the whole. You watch.
Ronnie
No, I didn't have to. I chose.
John Holmberg
You chose this film. That's what he says. That's what all. That's what Doug Emhoff has been saying the whole time. So you cucked your way through this by decision. This was not like you. If you.
Brett Vesely
I did two.
Ronnie
I. I started in the second. I made about 10 minutes into that.
John Holmberg
It's good. What was that one? I don't.
Ronnie
I don't even remember the title of that one.
Brady
Girl movies.
John Holmberg
I mean right away I'm upset that a Florida flight was diverted to Nova.
Ronnie
Scotia and I tried to get through.
Brady
What's she flying up the coastline for?
Brett Vesely
Samaelia or to Switzerland?
Brady
You get over the ocean, you get out there and you got radar. Why fly into the storm?
Ronnie
All I know is I want to go to Christmas Island.
John Holmberg
We're love bloom. You know that now and that.
Ronnie
See, this is a better world. It's fun.
John Holmberg
Two nights ago there you are arguing about politics. Then last night you're watching some innocuous nonsense with your wife.
Brady
Did it result in an old Fashioned or anything? Good, because if you sat through that.
John Holmberg
Thing, she owes you one.
Ronnie
Even you gotta even just be a hard no.
Brady
You got a hard no in an old Fashioned after.
Ronnie
No, I didn't even. You know, there was no hard after watching that movie.
John Holmberg
Come on. She owes him a limp dick hand job.
Brady
That happens.
Ronnie
I blow on it or something. I was the one that put it on. I felt like.
John Holmberg
What?
Ronnie
You know, I felt. Oh, chair. I'll put it on there.
John Holmberg
Did you call everyone?
Ronnie
Usually she would say just get out of here.
John Holmberg
Was K Herbs in there? Oh, she kicks you out to watch Hallmark mov.
Ronnie
Yeah, cuz she knows I. You know, if I.
John Holmberg
You'll start questioning it cuz logic goes away.
Ronnie
They're. They're in real trouble now. Are they going to work this out and every. That's.
John Holmberg
Brady, I haven't said this for a while. Can I come over and watch movies at your house?
Ronnie
Oh yeah, you got to.
John Holmberg
Cuz you and I together watching that, she would kill me.
Brady
Because my first question is why do you take the flight diversion from anywhere south of New York?
John Holmberg
You should be heading dead east.
Brady
What are they doing? Going north into more storms. Just turn right?
Ronnie
Yeah, because the.
John Holmberg
The.
Ronnie
I guess the storm was heavier. They're trying to get out.
Brady
How big is this storm?
Ronnie
They only had so much time to land.
Brady
They allowed you to take off and.
Ronnie
It snowed the whole time.
John Holmberg
I'm gonna get you some aspirin and a pillow. You need a break from this.
Ronnie
Great. It Was great going back.
John Holmberg
What's it called? Do you know Christmas Island? That's it. It's called Christmas Island. Is that where Charlie in the Box and King Moon Racer are?
Ronnie
No, that's that. I was kind of hoping something like that. This has got to be good. Christmas.
John Holmberg
I can't watch that right away. I'd be kicked out of the room.
Brady
What are they flying to Nova Scotia for divert.
John Holmberg
You go south, you go around the storm.
Brady
I'm not a pilot.
Ronnie
Big. It's too big.
Brady
There's no such storm. They wouldn't let you take off.
John Holmberg
I'm already angry.
Ronnie
You don't question that. John.
John Holmberg
You just let him go fall in love with the air traffic control. And how was he a dick? And how did they meet?
Ronnie
He's controlling it on a laptop too.
John Holmberg
Sure. That's how small airports go. Show land planes with just a.
Ronnie
You're okay to land now.
John Holmberg
Get a MacBook. You're landing in Nova Scotia. He's just sitting in his living room putting planes on the ground.
Ronnie
Yep. Well, no, he. He. They actually had. He had a place to work, an.
John Holmberg
Office and then they had to go to Nova Scotia and then she had to confront him.
Ronnie
Oh yeah. Because he was a jerk. He was a jerk to him.
John Holmberg
This is good stuff. Brady. We need Hallmark Channel. Brady. For the squares that's happening Friday. We're gonna do that. Hallmark Channel Brady. Did you find it? Oh, I thought you were looking. Brett looks like you.
Brett Vesely
No, I was looking for something else because this story reminds me of. This story reminds me of this scene.
John Holmberg
Oh no. How do you write women so well? I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability. It's technical. Something as good as it gets.
Brett Vesely
Yep.
John Holmberg
I take away reason and accountability.
Brady
How do you write for women's.
John Holmberg
There's Jews at my table. That's a movie I could see. Oh yeah. As good as it gets. Anyway.
Brett Vesely
Well, we insist. I gotta find this Christmas.
John Holmberg
Christmas Island.
Brady
Who's in it?
John Holmberg
You know, nobody's. Nobody famous.
Ronnie
The. It wasn't Jennifer Luck Hewitt or the next one up. The same girl was in it. And this time she worked with a. Fell in love with a guy with the FBI. So she went from, you know, pilot. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Girls bouncing from movie to movie.
Ronnie
But they have like three or four leading ladies in there and the same guy and they. They cast the people that to look like another star. Like. Is that George Clooney?
John Holmberg
He's just a little off, just a little different but R word. Clooney.
Ronnie
Yeah.
John Holmberg
A little crooked eyed. Clooney. I'm in on that. Anyway.
Brady
Well, see, that's better.
John Holmberg
The world is better. Brady's at home not watching, you know, News Nation.
Ronnie
Brett, he's watching Messiah.
Brady
Horrible movies.
John Holmberg
No, she kicked me out with Ronnie. Meanwhile, I'll just be working on sports or throwing up some. Some Steelers press conferences. Brady's watching Christmas Island.
Brett Vesely
She'd be like. She'd be like the Godfather.
John Holmberg
You can act like a man. Yeah. Does she watch those? No, I have never been. Is this it, Brady? Oh, look at that. There's the. That's it. We are making a temporary stop.
Brady
Is about to take a turn.
John Holmberg
Looks like nobody's leaving this island for.
Brady
At least a couple days for the festive.
John Holmberg
This is where I live. Christmas Island.
Brett Vesely
What?
John Holmberg
No one leaves this place a scrooge. So what's this about you meeting?
Brady
How long was the flight delay?
Ronnie
Three, three, four days. But then so much that they got the. They got the okay to leave Christmas.
John Holmberg
They stayed. Cuz her heart was on Christmas Island.
Ronnie
Family really found out what Christmas is all about.
John Holmberg
That's good stuff. See? And that's a better world we live in than this political nonsense that we've been in. Way to go, Brady.
Ronnie
Such a good break from.
John Holmberg
Those are some rose colored glasses, my friend.
Ronnie
That whole channel is beautiful.
John Holmberg
That's exactly right.
Brett Vesely
What happened to you?
John Holmberg
Yeah, something wrong with him?
Brett Vesely
That channel's beautiful.
John Holmberg
That should be. That should be revoked. Did you watch it in the man cave? Please tell me it was in the main room. Oh, the barn. Yeah, we're gonna go to the barn.
Brady
And watch some Hallmark.
John Holmberg
I'm in. All right. So you watch in the main room?
Ronnie
Yeah, I had some.
John Holmberg
Kirby, there was a big. Oh, you had a little food going. So you were.
Brett Vesely
That's how she kept him there.
John Holmberg
That's how you. That's because his hands couldn't work though the remote. So he had hands full of.
Brett Vesely
Once.
Ronnie
They can't turn them off.
John Holmberg
That's right.
Ronnie
Just.
John Holmberg
That would be fun for the holidays. Maybe that's what we'll do instead of the Holmberg after dark is just watch a Christmas movie and mystery science theater.
Ronnie
It.
John Holmberg
That'd be fun.
Ronnie
It's a great idea.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Christmas island might be. So we just throw it up on the screen. Let the crowd get drunk and watch it and make fun of it the whole time. Although some people might weep. Like Brady. He's into it. I like that idea. Holmberg's Morning Sickness 3000. We'll just do that instead. Hear the words you say sometimes.
Valley Chevy Announcer
I mean, who talks like that 98 kill you PD I have a new favorite app where I can win 5,000 times my cash. It's Dictator from the Morning sickness for Underdog Playing on Underdog is so easy. Just pick if your favorite players will go higher or lower on their stats this week. Feast Week is back on underdog from November 26th to 30th. Check the underdog app daily for special promos. As for me, I'm feasting on Dak Prescott, Jared Goff and Joe Flacco to all go higher on their passing stats. Feast with me and download the app today and use the promo code HMS to score $100 in bonus funds or bonus entries when you play your first $5 underdog make picks win money must be 18 +, 19 + in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games, 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where Underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com and getterms._dfs_html for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org In New York, call 24. 7 Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY to 467369.
Brady
It's John Holberg here for my friends at Turf Monsters AZ.com oh my goodness. My backyard is perfect now that I've turfed it. No mud, no maintenance, no sprinkler repair, no sprinklers. I have a lower water bill and I have a yard that looks perfect all year long. But that's not all. I've got a putting green. I've got a basketball play court. I've got an unbelievable situation. And I owe it all to Turf Monsters. If you can dream up a backyard that you've always wanted, Turf Monsters is the place to call Turf Monsters AZ.com Homeburg's Morning Sickness.
John Holmberg
I don't know.
Brett Vesely
It's worse either sitting at home watching football and watching all these damn commercial political commercials or sitting there at the stadium watching the Invisalign Smile Cam and all that kind of stuff.
Ronnie
Come on.
John Holmberg
I go to Suns games. The Invisalign's worse. I'd rather they just yeah, hello Sons and Cardinals fans. I'm running for president. Oh, okay, it's a political ad, but it's better than that. The one thing that they're doing now that's just absolutely obnoxious. It Was funny once. But they're doing the filter faces on the.
Brett Vesely
That's the Invisalign thing.
John Holmberg
Oh, is that for a visit?
Brett Vesely
They're doing like the joker smile and stuff.
Byron from MMP Guns
Okay.
John Holmberg
I didn't know who was sponsoring that. Okay. Because before it was just the Invisalign smile cam or whatever.
Brett Vesely
Oh no.
John Holmberg
And people would give their big dopey smiles and then, you know, they used to. It used to be funny because back in the day they could do it and make fun of somebody. So they'd find great like 10 people smiling and then one redneck, then one redneck with no teeth. Just like give a big grin.
Ronnie
Uh oh.
John Holmberg
And they'd make fun of them. Or the kiss cam, where it used to be like couples. And then they'd always get like a really elderly couple to make out for a second. And then two dudes sit next to each other like, oh, homosexuals. Now it's like awesome. If they get a couple of gays kiss and the crowd will clap. I was at a Sun's game and they hit two dudes and I think they thought they were getting. It may have been a plant. It was actually pretty good that a guy sitting next to a girl on his left and a guy on his right and you know, they don't really focus. They focus, but you can still see two or three other people. Dude leans over to the guy and they start kissing a little bit. It wasn't tongue kissing, but they kissed a little bit. The crowd was like, that's great, that's great. I think we all got nervous that we were going to be homophobic if. If we went, come on.
Brady
Disgusting.
John Holmberg
I'd rather watch two dudes do it than two old people kiss, though. I would literally, if they just did the this, the kiss cam. They're going around and like two guys just. Just bury it in each other. Looking at the camera, just looking me right in the eyes through the camera, just ripping into each other. Rather than two elderly people, like just. Just long term tongue kiss. Kissing dies pretty much 10 to 12 days after you're married. There's no more kissing in your life at all. That's over. And then, and then it should be dead. Probably in your mid-50s. You should never experience it again. And then in your 60s, if you're doing it at all, it's just cream corn and spit. Yeah, I know. That's what it is, Brady. That's what it looks like. They're just, they're trying to swap creamed corn or ensure. I don't Know what they're doing. But it isn't a normal kiss. And it's slow and their lips kind of curl under their teeth because their teeth don't want. You don't want your teeth to fall into the other person's mouth. I don't want to see that. I'd much rather watch like furry. I'd like to watch two dudes who just ran a marathon and haven't shaved in years tearing into each other for that camera than two old people French kissing. Yeah. I'm telling you, you give me that gay porn way before you give me two old people.
Ronnie
I don't know if I'm ready for that.
John Holmberg
I could watch that all day. At least it's two people in love. The old people are just disgusting death patients. That shouldn't. Yuck. They shouldn't have anything left.
Brady
We've still got it.
John Holmberg
No one wants to see it. You do that privately in the dark, the way you were trained as kids. You do it in the dark. Nobody wants to see a 70 something year old person take their clothes off and then start wrenching a person. I would have gay sex performed on me. Just stop that. Like, if it meant like, John one time. All you gotta do is take a root from a guy once and old people won't kiss ever again and be like, all right, for the sacrifice of humanity. And that kiss cam at sporting events. Give me that root. No different than going to the doctor once and have him finger you. Just like, just take it for a second and just keep it in your head the whole time. Old people can't kiss anymore. I'm changing the game because it is gross. So gross that we still don't have, like when the gay guys kissed at the Suns came. Yay. Old people kiss. There's still an audible. And then usually the wives are like, that's beautiful. Stop it. Like, hey, you're the ones that stop kissing. Wives are the ones that cut that off. Dudes would be all over it. Still. If you kiss your wife, it's disgusting.
Ronnie
Yeah.
John Holmberg
You know where her mouth has been. The things I've seen.
Ronnie
Branos and all the attention.
John Holmberg
You don't kiss your wife. You can go out and go goodbyes and that kind of stuff. You drop your tongue in your wife's mouth or something horrible going on. Cream corn. They start sharing that old people spit something weird when an old person spits on you compared to when like, like accidentally they're talking and old people spit hit you. You just assume it's just. It's cream Corn. There's, like, all sorts of stuff that you would never eat in her spirit. Yeah. Bend me over and tear me if I could stay. If that sacrifice I make to make old people stop kissing. I just think about it. Just trip right now. Trip Reeve. Imagine him right now just rolling over. Hey, Morning.
Ronnie
You're talking heaven to me.
John Holmberg
Clean corn. Let me take off my shirt. Like, stop it. Stop putting that image in my head. There's a reason why old people porn is like fetish porn. It isn't normal porn. It's fetish porn. It's like when people puke on each other or feet or poopy or pee. It's in that category, basically, all the videos I show. Yeah. You never stumble across old people porn and go hot. Ever.
Ronnie
I could watch this ever.
John Holmberg
Like, oh, this is great.
Brady
What's her name?
John Holmberg
I gotta seek more videos. Never. Aging is ugly for a reason. Yuck. Good morning.
Brady
Oh, that was beautiful. Here, let me stuff my tongue in your mouth.
John Holmberg
We sound like a toilet getting plunged. So romantic. If only the world could see this. They could see our love. I don't think people need to see that. I don't either. Yuck. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.
Brady
Hey, it's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness, and I'm thrilled to tell you about my friends at Turf Monsters. I got an email from a listener who said he bought a house with a turf backyard. Said the Turf was about 10 years old, maybe older, and he said it flat out stunk, smelled terrible. Turf Monsters went out, did a turf maintenance on it and fixed it all. If you can think of a backyard dream, they can do it. Sport courts, pergolas, lighting of all kinds, barbecue stuff, hardscape plants. Anything you can think of Turf Monsters can do. Tell them Holmberg sent you. Get 10% off your new dream yard. Turfmonstersaz.com For 60 years, Fisher Tools has.
Fisher Tools Announcer
Been the valley's trusted source for quality, precision and power. Family owned and operated for three generations. We're proud to be a local tempe business offering the best tools and supplies for every construction job. With the largest selection of power tools in the valley. From Milwaukee to Makeda to Dewalt, we've got everything you need to get the job done right. We're known for having everything in stock because our slogan is, if we don't have it, we can't sell it. See why we've been the Valley's go to for tools for over 60 years. Visit Fisher Tools today in store or online@fishertools.com.
Date: November 28, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Ronnie (frequent presence as Brady’s wife contributes)
Main Theme:
This episode dives deep into the encroachment of Christmas music in everyday life as December approaches. The crew also unpacks Brady’s enthusiastic, voluntary viewing of the Hallmark movie Christmas Island, launching a hilarious, sardonic group dissection of the plot, festive clichés, and why Hallmark holiday movies are an emotional escape. The team also wanders into the absurdity of modern stadium entertainment, especially kiss cams and public displays of affection, and how certain kinds of on-camera love just become "too much" to stomach.
Who’s Actually Listening?
Pure Bitterness, Grudging Admiration
Brady’s Confession
Plot Ridiculousness and Logic Checks
Hallmark Tropes and Cast
Escapism in a Crazy World
Idea for "Holmberg's Morning Sickness 3000"
John laments the decline of authentic, funny stadium cams, replaced by corporate promotions like the "Invisalign Smile Cam." (13:05–13:38)
Discussion on the evolution of the Kiss Cam—from poking fun at awkward couples to “elderly couple makeouts” and now inclusivity with same-sex kisses, noting increasing crowd support and the social pressure to seem tolerant. (13:43–14:42)
John’s infamous rant on the horrors of watching old people kiss at sporting events:
Willing to take one for the team in the name of humanity:
Hilarious Closing Descriptions
On Christmas Music’s Reach:
On Hallmark Movies:
On the Absurdity of Public Kissing:
The episode is packed with rapid-fire sarcasm, affectionate jabs between cohosts, raunchy observational humor, and a healthy dose of pop-culture self-awareness. Fans will recognize the signature blend of mockery and camaraderie—rich with exaggerated disgust, gleeful absurdity, and side-eyed affection for even the cheesiest parts of the holidays.