Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode Summary: "Not Handy John Part 2, Russian Spy Pigeons, and Nude Cruise Rules"

Date: December 1, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is a raucous, story-rich ride through John Holmberg’s recent home handyman fail (involving a scissor lift stuck in his yard), bizarre international news (Russian spy pigeons!), and quasi-scientific or cultural oddities (including nude cruise etiquette and a debate about the value of a college degree). The hosts keep their signature irreverent, quick-witted, and semi-chaotic banter throughout. This summary cuts past the show’s frequent sponsor mentions and focuses on the best content.

Major Segments and Discussion Highlights

1. "Not Handy John" – The Saga of the Stuck Scissor Lift

[01:09 - 12:20]

• John’s Thanksgiving Aftermath: Show opens with John still munching post-Thanksgiving snacks and segueing into his failed DIY story.
• The Basketball Court Lighting Project:
  • John decides to add three feet to his backyard basketball court light poles, necessitating a scissor lift.
  • He borrows a lift from his friend Luke at Icon Equipment, underestimating the machine's weight (about 4,000 lbs) and the challenge of moving it across soft grass.
  • Comic Catastrophe:
    • The lift sinks a foot into John’s grassy backyard, even after attempts with a Jeep winch and wood planks.
    • The day devolves into a muddy struggle, leaving heavy equipment stuck in his yard.
    • Hilarity ensues as John's backyard now resembles a redneck mechanic’s yard, with neighbors looking on in bewilderment.
• John’s Reflection on "Handiness":
  • Jokes about feeling manly because he changed his windshield wipers—quickly humbled by the day’s events.
  • Misunderstandings over what a "cherry picker" or "boom lift" really is reveals the hosts’ limited mechanical savvy.
• Notable Quote:
  • John: “My backyard looks like a cool guy’s. You’re a car guy now. They got a broken down, doesn’t-run scissor lift in my backyard.” [06:55]

2. Quick-Fire Fun Facts and Side-Banter

[13:31 - 17:14]

• World AIDS Day Snark:
  • Hosts make dark, sarcastic jokes about “Happy World AIDS Day.”
  • John: “If you’ve got the AIDS, it’s your day.” [13:36]
• Baseless Fun Facts:
  • Lakes: There are 117 million lakes worldwide (covering 4% of surface)—the hosts are only mildly impressed.
  • Mad Hatter Truth Bomb: The character in Alice in Wonderland was never called “The Mad Hatter”—he’s just “the Hatter.”
  • Proving No One Reads: “It just proves…you can say anything. It was like, that’s about right. No one ever corrects it…nobody’s ever read it.” [15:05]

3. Odd News Bites: Thanksgiving Arson and Reddit Ponderings

[17:36 - 20:13]

• Thanksgiving Disaster Story:
  • 21-year-old Illinois man burns down his family’s house in a post-Thanksgiving meltdown (after being told to move out).
  • Hosts riff on young adult meltdowns and ill-advised pyrotechnics.
• Reddit Survey: “What’s normal to have one of, but weird if you have two?”
  • Suggestions: wife, crazy exes, spouses who died mysteriously, life insurance policies, offshore bank accounts, multiple phones.

4. Debate: Is a College Degree Worth It?

[20:13 - 22:57]

• Public Sentiment Shifts:
  • Only 33% now say a four-year degree is “worth the money,” down from 53% in 2013.
  • John’s Rant: Slams communications and business degrees as glorified high-school diplomas—trade school is the real future, except for doctors and engineers.
  • “Brady’s the only one in this room with a college degree and he can barely spell.” [22:03]

5. World Weirdness: Russian Spy Pigeons & Animal Espionage

[23:02 - 27:00]

• Spy Pigeons:
  • Russian scientists have allegedly fitted pigeons with neural chips, cameras, and solar chargers, making them remote-controlled aerial spies.
  • John’s Reaction: “If I see a pigeon with a camera on its neck, I’m killing it.” [26:03]
  • Comparison to Day of the Dolphin and Soviet animal manipulation.
• Next Steps in Animal Spying:
  • Speculation on cockroach cameras for rescue operations, possible next steps with rats/mice, and dolphin mines.
• Quote:
  • Brady: “You can fly them like drones because they put a neural link chip into their brain and you control them.” [23:38]

6. Niche Topic: Rules for Nude Cruises

[27:23 - 28:54]

• Nude Cruises’ Popularity: Claims (dubious!) that nude cruises are more popular.
• Key Rule: No public erections! Always sit on a towel.
  • John: “Put some goddamn clothes on and enjoy the cruise…No hot young women are going on the nude cruise.” [28:26]
  • Hosts lampoon the likely clientele and general hygiene concerns.
• Memorable Banter:
  • John: “I’ve been on a cruise before. The chance of a hard on is slim. Looking at the other cruise people…” [27:48]

7. Viral Content Time: “Brady Videos”

[29:10 - 34:37] (Note: This is verging on shock radio/NSFW edge and features their classic gross-out humor.)

• Outrageous Videos Reviewed:
  • Man pooping on a sleeping guy.
  • Woman uses her butthole to blow out birthday candles.
  • “Bermuda Triangle” joke video devolves into a ménage-a-trois joke.
  • Old woman removes dentures; young man uses them in very creative (and graphic) ways.
• Running Gags:
  • The disgusting and comedic implications of grandmas with dentures.
  • John: “I didn’t think I’d be googling vagina dentures this morning, but here we are.” [35:53]

Noteworthy Quotes & Moments

• On Handyman Fails:
  “With me involved in something handy and manly like this, it’s no surprise it didn’t work out.” – John Holmberg [04:12]
• On College:
  “Business, communications…liberal arts…you’re wasting your parents’ money. Doctors and engineers are really the only ones who absolutely need extra school. Everyone else can learn on the fly, especially with AI.” – John [22:03]
• On Pigeon Spies:
  “Looks like a little—looks like an Asian in the 80s…little Japanese tourist flying with a camera on his neck!” – John [26:12]
• On Nude Cruises:
  “No hot young women are going on the nude cruise. It’s going to be a bunch of old ladies who are like, ‘I’m comfortable with my body.’ Worst phrase to hear a woman say, ever—that means she’s ugly.” – John [28:26]

Segment Timestamps

• Handyman Fail: Scissor Lift Saga – [01:09–12:20]
• Fun Facts & AIDS Day Banter – [13:31–16:43]
• Weird News (Thanksgiving Arson, Reddit Questions) – [17:36–20:13]
• College Degree Debate – [20:13–22:57]
• Russian Spy Pigeons – [23:02–27:00]
• Nude Cruise Rules – [27:23–28:54]
• Brady (Gross-Out) Videos – [29:10–34:37]

Conclusion

Listeners get exactly what’s expected from Holmberg and his crew in this episode: wild stories, blue-collar wit, and a gleefully offbeat take on everything from home improvement mishaps to Russian neuroscience, aging, and nudist culture. For those who love irreverent, unfiltered banter with local Arizona flavor and plenty of crowd-laugh moments, this episode is packed with quotable lines and memorable stories.