12-01-25 - Salmon Sperm Reactions Emails - Guy Busted For Killing His Wife Burying The Corpse Digging It Up And Raping It - Avoiding Tortoise/Turtle People And Brady's Love Of Urban Zoos - XMas Music Rant

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – December 1, 2025: Salmon Sperm, True Crime in Simi Valley, Tortoise People, Urban Zoos & Christmas Music Rants

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Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD brings a blend of outrageous listener emails, dark true crime headlines, Arizona backyard animal menageries, and an unfiltered holiday crankiness from John Holmberg and his co-hosts, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo. Centerpieces include wild reactions to "salmon sperm" discussions, an unsettling crime story out of Simi Valley, and the gang’s annual loathing of saccharine Christmas music takeovers.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Emails: Salmon Sperm Reactions

• The team reads and reacts to a variety of listener emails revolving around salmon fertilization, including stories from Alaska where students "milk salmon" for biology class. This leads to a combination of gross-out humor and puns about fish and human sex acts.
• Notable Exchange:
  • [02:02] John: “So I can attack and jerk off a fish and nearly kill it, but when I finish on my girlfriend, I got to go to jail? — Sign Nathan Sutherland.”
  • The crew riffs on this, making jokes about Brady watching salmon fertilization videos as his “porn.”
• Discussion segues into a mattress advertisement focused solely on “the best mattress for sex,” with Holmberg applauding the “Mad Men” style ingenuity.
  • [03:47] John: “It just had a picture of a mattress, and it just said, this mattress is better for sex… That's genius!”

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2. Dark True Crime: Simi Valley’s Bizarre Murder Case

• Holmberg details a disturbing news story: a man kills his ex-wife, buries her, then digs her up to commit necrophilia.
• The hosts contemplate how many similar crimes likely go undetected and reflect grimly (and comically) on the secrecy of neighbors.
  • [06:03] John: “It has to be a reality that probably in your neighborhood where they hide a lot of emotions and a lot of stuff… Some dude has an ex-wife… in the freezer.”
  • [09:05] John: “The ultimate act of power… to tear her body apart after it’s gone… 100% mental ownership and power of a human being. Horrifying.”
• The group jokes about running their own “Bret Jury,” where verdicts are made based solely on looking at defendants:
  • [11:54] John: “We should have the Bret jury. My success rate is like 88%. Let me see the perp. Oh, guilty! Next!”

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3. Backyard Tortoises, Turtles & Brady’s Urban Zoo Love

• Email stories prompt discussions about tortoise dens in local yards, which the hosts humorously equate to makeshift graves or body disposal sites.
  • [13:50] John: “It’s a grave. I no longer trust anybody with a tortoise.”
• The conversation evolves into an exasperated examination of hobbyist animal keepers, especially urban “petting zoos” found in backyard environments.
  • [14:41] John: “What is the purpose of a miniature donkey? To pull miniature sleighs?”
• The show pokes fun at Brady’s penchant for finding or being drawn to these makeshift “urban zoos.”
  • [16:00] John: “If there’s an urban zoo to be found, I guarantee it: Brady will find it.”

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4. Hearing Loss & Aging Jokes at Brady’s Expense

• Bret needles Brady over his lingering hearing problems, sparking age and health-related jokes and speculation about liability and medical neglect.
  • [21:13] John: “We’re keeping our eyes on him. You asked what he did to get his hearing back, and he said ‘what?’ We’re worried…”

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5. Palladio Finals and Local Music Scene

• The show briefly touches on the upcoming band competition finals, running through confirmed bands and making jokes about flaky musicians and bass players.
  • [26:22] John: “Bass players are a dime a dozen… If you ever have a large gathering…the fastest way to disperse crowds is bass solos.”

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6. Holiday Shopping Madness & Cyber Monday

• Exasperation is voiced over Black Friday chaos, pointless in-person doorbusters, and the never-ending cycle of online deals.
  • [29:24] John: “It’s been Black Friday since Halloween.”
  • [31:36] John: “Today is Cyber Monday, and that’s the one that has been passing Black Friday over the last few years.”
• The group wonders about the lengths people will go (e.g., camping outside Bass Pro Shops for $500 gift cards), noting the absurdity of standing in long lines for minimal savings.

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7. Cheating Tech in Fishing & Hunting

• Conversation drifts into the ethics of modern hunting and fishing aids, including lures that essentially stun or hypnotize fish.
  • [34:12] John: “I would want worm, hook, pole – I don’t want technology. You’re roofing the fish.”
• John rails against passive hunting tactics like deer stands, likening it to grooming or predation.

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8. Christmas Music Rant

• The annual "I hate Christmas music" segment arrives, with complaints about how every station’s ratings go up only when they go on autopilot and play nonstop carols.
  • [41:54] John: “Burl Ives kicks our ass for four and a half weeks… She [Beth] takes off from the end of November all the way through December, and their ratings soar. I would be embarrassed.”
  • [42:19] John: “There’s something in Christmas music, like, some hidden messages that make us all weird for four weeks.”

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9. Trans-Siberian Orchestra and Holiday Cultiness

• The gang shares experiences seeing the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, reflecting on both its spectacle and the cult-like devotion of its fan base.
  • [43:06] John: “It feels cultish – some of the people… like it too much.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• [02:02] John (listener email, raucous): "So I can attack and jerk off a fish and nearly kill it, but when I finish on my girlfriend, I got to go to jail? — Sign Nathan Sutherland."
• [03:47] John: "This mattress is the best for sex. I’m like, that’s genius. No one’s thought of this before!"
• [09:05] John: "The ultimate act of power… more and more of her dignity. This is not a sexual act… 100% mental ownership and power.”
• [13:50] John: “It’s a grave. I no longer trust anybody with a tortoise.”
• [16:00 & 16:31] John: “If there’s an urban zoo to be found, I guarantee it: Brady will find it. I have lived in several neighborhoods, never once an urban zoo.”
• [26:22] John: “Bass players are a dime a dozen… If you ever have a large gathering…the fastest way to disperse crowds is bass solos.”
• [34:12] John: "That’s what molesters do. It’s chloroform, essentially. You’re just chloroforming the fish."
• [41:54] John: “Burl Ives kicks our ass for four and a half weeks… She [Beth] takes off from the end of November all the way through December, and their ratings soar. I would be embarrassed.”

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Salmon Sperm Emails & Sexual Innuendo: 02:00 – 05:00
• Simi Valley Murder/Necrophilia Case & “Bret Jury”: 05:00 – 13:00
• Tortoise/Turtle People, Backyard Urban Zoos, Miniature Animals: 13:00 – 20:00
• Brady’s Hearing Loss/Medical Jokes: 20:00 – 22:00
• Palladio Finals & Local Bands/Bass Player Jokes: 22:30 – 27:30
• Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Retail Insanity: 29:00 – 33:00
• Fishing, Hunting, Cheating Tech: 33:45 – 35:45
• Christmas Music Rant: 41:45 – 45:00
• Trans-Siberian Orchestra Discussion: 43:00 – 45:20

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Tone & Style Overview

• Freewheeling, irreverent, and darkly comic: The crew bounces rapidly between outrageous news, personal anecdotes, and laser-focused rants, maintaining a conversational, riff-heavy style peppered with black humor and social commentary.
• Unfiltered and lightly self-deprecating: Especially in their discussions about Arizona suburbia, local oddballs, and their own aging and foibles (Brady’s hearing).
• Local color & inside jokes: Regular references to Arizona locations, local events, and running gags about show members.

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Final Thoughts

Listeners get a blend of wild news, listener interactivity, biting asides on local suburban wildlife, and a healthy dose of anti-Christmas music cynicism. The episode typifies Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: no topic is too odd, too bleak, or too irreverent for this Arizona morning crew.

This summary covers all the major segments while giving newcomers a full sense of the show’s unique mix of humor, shock, and local flavor.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[B]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[A]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[B]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple?

[A]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms. It's Brett Vesely from homewards. Morning sickness. Now, I've always been the kind of guy that takes care of my own lawn. That's until I found Divine Design Landscaping. These guys aren't your typical mow and blow landscaping company. They do amazing work. And it's just what I needed to finally throw in the towel and let the experts take over. If you've been unhappy with your landscaping or sick of trying to do it yourself, well, it's time to get a hold of Divine Design Landscaping. These guys handle everything. Lawn care, irrigation, tree work, low voltage lighting, 3D designs get free quote@divinedesign lawn care.com. that's divinedesignlawncare.com you thought that was funny?

[C]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[B]

What the hell is wrong with you?

[C]

Thank you very much. Miles to nowhere. Not replaced quite yet. As Platio last week, the delay on the finals moves to tomorrow night. I can't wait. We. We'll do a recap tomorrow of it. Tripp came to the house yesterday, watched Steelers. And he goes, I missed it. Boo hoo. And I said, what? He goes, platio said, you missed a good one. No, like, yeah. No, like you did. There was actually probably nine bands that were excellent. No, like, yeah. And I said, and we're doing the finals tomorrow. He goes, oh, I get to see it. And he's coming, so he'll be there tomorrow. He's excited. He's excited about the finals. He didn't want to sit through the crap. He's a man who wants.

[A]

He's smart.

[C]

Yeah. He doesn't want to taste. He's not a buffet me. The give me the main course. This guy emails and says, wait a second. So I can attack and jerk off a fish and nearly kill it, but when I finish on my girlfriend, I got to go to jail sign Nathan Sutherland. Yeah, you know, that is kind of a good point, Nate. Now, this one says, I'm from Alaska, and in school, instead of tadpoles and frogs, they use the salmon cycle, and they would actually milk the salmon onto the eggs in the aquarium. There's also salmon farms where salmon are manually milked as well. This guy's name is Hoffmeister. And everyone thinks everyone from Alaska is a little weird. And now you've just proven it.

[B]

It's big money milking a salmon.

[C]

Yeah. And somebody said, come on. Brady jerks off to fish. You're surprised he saw a salmon video. It's porn. He was watching. That's his porn. You ever seen a salmon cloud egg?

[B]

No. It's amazing.

[C]

Powerful. Yeah, I like what? Fish all over each other. That's solid. This. It's gross. I saw a thing, too, also. I like to. I got those matches from that Jonathan up there at Verlo in Glendale. It's got a great situation going. But I saw a company, I don't remember the name of the company that has done something that's so obvious, and I never thought of it. You know how they always have mattress ads where, like, get better, rest, sleep better. This place is like, this mattress is the best for sex. I'm like, that's genius. No one's. This is like one of those pet rock things. Like, how has no one thought of this before? I've never once seen a mattress set, and I don't remember who it was. I was just so proud of them. So I'm just going to say it's Verlo Mattress.

[B]

What was the selling point?

[C]

It just had a picture of a mattress, and it just said, this mattress is better for sex. That was. Was a print ad. And I'm like, how about that? That's very Mad Men, Very Don Draper of you to. We're always talking about sleep. Why not talk about sex? It's the other thing you do. This mattress is better for sex. All the other ones suck compared to. This one's got good bounce back. It's like, whoa, that's genius. No one even goes to a mattress. I've never been up there to Verlo with Jonathan going, I like this one. How is it for sex? One of the things you want it to be Good for not just sleep.

[B]

We've got a trial room.

[C]

Yeah, give it a run. Go bounce around on it. I have to look it up, but it was pretty impressed. Just a mattress picture. You can't differentiate it from any other without sitting or laying on it. How about this? It's good for humping. All right. This one says John. So we should start introducing ourselves to women. Hi, I'm Salmon. How are you? They say my seat is great for your skin. Showtime. Shane. Showtime sent that one in. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. And then that story we kind of talked a little off the air about. The one Brady on Thursday where the dude killed his wife, his ex wife, buried her and then dug her up and started doing it with her. Yeah, they did a. Yeah, yeah. Do you not want to talk about.

[B]

No, no, no.

[C]

I thought we were going to lose him there for a second. It sounds a little out of sorts already. Big week.

[B]

I kind of forgotten about it already.

[C]

Well, there's no how do you forget that and remember the Salmon cloud. Priorities. Yeah. Dude in Simi Valley murdered his ex wife, buried her, then dug her up and started to do stuff to the corpse and then put her back. This is out there with. This is out there with it. You know what? I'm guessing Simi Valley. There isn't five and a half million people in Simi Valley. In our beautiful city, there's a dude right now who's dug something up and had sex with it. Statistically. Has to be true.

[B]

That's crazy.

[C]

Has to be a reality that probably in your neighborhood where they hide a lot of emotions and a lot of stuff. Some dude has an ex wife or something he keeps in the freezer, he does stuff with and puts her back.

[A]

Oh, that's just wrong.

[C]

How many times has this happened and the guy didn't get caught? It has to be a number also. But in a city of five and a half million, there's no way there isn't one dude out there that has this problem or has someone buried in his yard? Brad.

[A]

Not in my yard.

[C]

Not in your. Of course not in your yard. That's stupid. He's thinking, Christine. The other question is how little did anyone feel for the ex wife? You know they didn't check the ex husband's backyard once when she went missing.

[A]

Never.

[C]

You didn't see that mound in the backyard with the odd mud and the kind of some grass, but not a ton.

[B]

Sounds like they were tight with the neighbors.

[C]

Yeah. It just seems like if like let's say Messiah goes missing, one of the first places I'm looking is Brett yard. You know, it's kicking some high grass, seeing where the. It seems fresh. This dirt seems fresh on my yard. Of course, not in your yard. But then I'm keeping my eyes on Brett for a little bit.

[B]

But it would take a while for.

[C]

Us to figure out if Brett was raping a dead body.

[B]

She was missing.

[C]

Oh, for us. You don't think she has one person at Local Legends? That would be like, hey, where's Matthia been?

[B]

But I'm talking about on our side of it. Who would report to us as saying, hey, when's the last time you saw Mathias?

[C]

What do you mean?

[B]

Other than the events? It's not like we see her every week. Two weeks.

[C]

These are every day.

[B]

I know, but I'm saying he can come in every day. We would know.

[C]

I wouldn't get one email from somebody that says, where I see Brett over there, legends and Matthias not there anymore. And I'd be like, hey, Brett, people said, was Matthias not working at Local Legends anymore? And you'd be like, oh, no, she's there. She's not feeling well. And then a month goes, she's still sick. What are you doing? He's got dirt on his hands. He's been digging her up. It's got to be more like check ins for people who, you know, stop showing up to stuff. That can't be a thing. Somebody has to have something. And dude's just a normal neighbor everybody described. Ed would have never known. He seemed. He was going about his business, going to work, doing his thing. Little did they know the secrets of your neighbor's yard. It's crazy. I can't even.

[B]

So one night he basically snapped. Sounds like you buried her.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And it started. A little regret or I'm. I'm lonely.

[C]

Or the ultimate act of power, which is to tear her body apart after it's gone. The ultimate act of hate. It has nothing to do with. Golly, I need some companionship. You can get a hooker for that. He wanted to harm this woman some more. Even after she was dead. The ultimate act of possession. He took her life. And then even after that, more and more of her dignity. And her memory is now tied to. This is not a sexual act. None of that sexual. That's all 100% mental ownership and power of a human being. Horrifying. And it's out here somewhere in Phoenix, I can almost guarantee it. People have weird secrets. You know that guy who emailed earlier? Ramon? Mom and dad lied to the kids for years. About grandma and grandpa's death. Turns out dad was lying double. Didn't even tell the wife. I could have helped that. I knew your dad had bought some poison and had been talking about it, but I didn't think he'd actually do it. And it all came to. And he could have stopped it just by giving him a couple bucks to keep him from selling their house. Dad didn't want to do that. We all have something, don't we, Brett? We all have such a story. This is the reason I'm telling what I'm talking about. These stories are just kind of, you know, keys to doors that I want to unlock. Aren't they, Brett? Aren't they?

[B]

He does look down.

[C]

I know. He's not talking. He doesn't want to talk about this. This is a story I think I'd like your opinion on. Brett, what do you think of this man here who took his wife's life and then dug her up and had sex with her?

[A]

And hear the story?

[C]

Yeah, I told you a couple of times. If you'd like, I'd send it to you. If you'd like me to help out with that. No, nothing. Are you sure? Here's a picture of him. Very interesting.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know what that. I mean, he's guilty.

[C]

All right, Nat. You think he did it? Oh, yeah. You think for sure. Yeah. All right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How could he not?

[C]

Well, yeah. I mean, are you looking at her, too? Is that the reason why you're saying that, too? Yeah, I mean.

[A]

Oh, leave her buried, bro.

[C]

What are you doing, man? See, Brett's basing it off of her looks.

[A]

Yeah, well, imagine after a while, after she's been buried, it could. It can only get worse.

[C]

Oh, well, no.

[B]

There'S. No, Come on.

[C]

And then there's a picture of him. Guilty. I want you on my jury.

[A]

I can see the court system. So much money.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Oh, you could. We should have the Brett jury. We'll walk him by and go. My, my. My success rate is like, 88%. Let me see the perp. Oh, guilty. Next. Why do you say that? Come on. Is it a teardrop under your. Guilty. He's not even on the lawyer. Okay, guilty of something. John holmberg's Morning Sickness. The 98 KUPD. It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins. Dot com. Boy, that team at Doug Hopkins office is amazing. Not only will Doug Hopkins buy your home for cash as Is and get that deal done later. Lickety split. His team is unbelievable. So if you've got a place that needs a ton of work, Doug will help you out by making that cash offer as is. Or he'll list your place if it's already perfect. All you have to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing.

[D]

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[C]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[B]

Brett picking the jury.

[A]

Oh, yeah. It'd be easy.

[C]

Yeah. Julie t. Makes a point. She sent pictures over. She's like, we have a thing called the tortoise den in our backyard for our turtle. Look at this. Sent a picture. It's a grave. I no longer trust anybody with a tortoise. If that's what you do to keep them happy. Look at that. It's a four and a half foot hole. That's for body burial.

[A]

Oh, man.

[C]

Wouldn't a tortoise dig its own? You think you're helping the tortoise out? Let the tortoise figure it out. Tortoise Dan, you're burying people.

[B]

That guy that has all the animals in my neighborhood, the green belt, his tortoise, he's got a big mound.

[C]

Yeah, There's a body in there. Like, there's a body in there.

[B]

200 pounders in there.

[C]

That's great. Yeah. There's three or four 200 pounders in there. Yeah, There might be getting rid of some ladies.

[B]

No one's ever checked.

[C]

Nobody's looking. Only get turtles. Neat. They're actually not turtles. All right. I don't want to talk to this anymore. He's annoying. Nobody likes you. We just like the animals. Well, maybe just taste. Tortoise and turtle are different. Didn't come for a lesson. Just came by to see the turtles.

[B]

I think I can hear calling. It's like, help.

[C]

Yeah. I taught that when to talk. Turtles can talk. It's a tortoise man, come on, bro. There's nothing worse than turtle. Tortoise guy. And that's a neat turtle. It's a tortoise. I hate you. I hate you. I like the turtle better. It's got a better personality. I hate you. I'm just walking past your house, which you're craving attention. Which is why you've got a wide open gate with the animals, so we can talk to you. It's a tortoise. Okay, well, now I have to go walk somewhere else so I don't cross your path again.

[B]

You can feed him, but you got to get around the Highland cow.

[C]

You can feed his animals.

[B]

Oh, yeah. That's why people go by, is it? Yeah.

[C]

To feed his animals.

[B]

Yeah. They have carrots and lettuce and.

[C]

The hell kind of world is this? Why he's always had the animal.

[B]

As long as I've lived there, I've.

[C]

Walked by a ton of farms. I've never fed any of them.

[B]

Use the animals.

[C]

Does he rescue and then adopt or. He just keeps them all.

[B]

He keeps them there until then.

[C]

Until they die. Right. So he keeps them.

[B]

The hell is this world?

[C]

But you walk by and he's like, want to feed it? Bring some food over.

[B]

He'll have a little. He has a sign up there. His farm? Yeah. You can feed the animals.

[C]

What other farm wants people just walking by feeding their animals?

[B]

Just one.

[C]

That.

[B]

That guy.

[C]

You don't find that to be odd?

[E]

How do you know all of these urban zoos? Do you remember Shay Hillenbrand?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had his own urban zoo. Yeah. Well, he' find urban zoos. If there's an urban zoo to be found, I guarantee it. That sign that he's talking about, he's ignoring the fact that it says, hey, Brady, one at a time. It's a sign warning you to stop feeding the animals if you're going to do it. Just one carrot at a time.

[E]

People find you at their zoo.

[C]

Yeah. They live near you.

[B]

Well, he lived there first.

[C]

That's right. And that's why you moved in. I have lived in several neighborhoods. Never once in urban zoo. Not one, Brett.

[A]

No.

[C]

And you live in some big. Some land.

[A]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, they got horse properties, but that's it. Yeah.

[C]

Never once have I gone by.

[B]

He's got probably some neighbors that have horse or.

[A]

Well, yeah, that's normal.

[C]

But I'd be furious if some stranger walked by my horses and they were feeding them.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

He allows it, one of his animals gonna get killed. He'll get poisoned by a Lunatic. If it's just free rein feeding. He's supposed to feed them. Besides that, it's his job.

[B]

He does.

[C]

It's Jew farms. He's not even paying for feed the people walking by. I'll give him like cupcakes and stuff. It's easy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I wouldn't want anybody feeding my dog. You walk by and give him some. It's immediately bad. Yeah. Does he have a wide open like area?

[B]

Yeah, it's about an acre. That's along the. Yeah, the green belt kind of along the canal.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And there's this farm's corner farm.

[C]

But what's in it? Just turtles, tortoises. Sorry.

[B]

Yeah. He's got a turkey. Male. A tom turkey. He's got. And you can Highland cows. He's got a bunch of goats and.

[C]

You can just go feed them.

[B]

People gather there? Oh, yeah. It's just. Oh, this weekend.

[C]

Pack people don't gather for the cows.

[B]

There's a table out front there.

[C]

What? How bored are you people over in Gilbert. It's a cow.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Brady go by there as much anymore.

[B]

When kid. When Kirby was little, she used to love.

[C]

Sure sure. Kids like it.

[B]

Yeah, it was.

[C]

But it's a cow. It can't be too many people.

[B]

You become. You get friends with cinnamon the goat.

[C]

You have. You know, I'm gonna check your temperature here. You don't have a lot of time left. You need to start doing better stuff with. Yeah. Imagine that if somebody was just looking over your backyard. Donkeys feeding your. Your dogs. You'd be furious. That was a dwarf donkey do.

[A]

Never heard of one.

[C]

Well, what's the purpose of it? That's. He's Dr. Moreau.

[B]

People get him as a pet on their farm and they don't want them.

[C]

How do you even know how to get a dwarf donkey? This is just a world I don't live in.

[B]

You can get miniatures of fair donkeys, goats.

[C]

You can ponies move. I know ponies move. I didn't know you get miniatures of everything. I'd like a miniature bear. Then I want a little tiny bear. Can you do that?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Then he's Dr. Moreau. My point is made. What do you want? You want a miniature. I got a little tiny hippo.

[A]

I can give you a miniature elephant. Yeah.

[C]

What else can he miniaturize? What does Dr. Shrinky Dink do in your neighborhood? That.

[B]

Well, I don't think he's doing it.

[C]

He just buys them from the guy who does. He rescues them from people that shrinky Dink people.

[B]

Yeah. They weren't happy with the product.

[C]

Right. They thought they wanted a miniature donkey, and then we're like, wow, this was a mistake. Yeah, well, that and the fact that it's a. It's against nature. The miniature donkey. What is the purpose of a miniature donkey? To pull miniature sleighs and stuff like that.

[B]

Yeah, I guess. It's just not. It's. It's just minorly stubborn.

[C]

It's not as stubborn. Yeah, tiny stubborn. It's like a woman. Oh, now what? David Vasquez.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no.

[C]

I can't read it.

[A]

No, I'm just laughing about this whole situation.

[C]

It's odd.

[A]

Yes, that's what I'm saying.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Now that you got acreage, Brett, we got to load that.

[A]

No, absolutely not.

[C]

It's also kind of creepy because he's coming out of his post congestion cold, so his voice sounds a little bit like a helpless older man fed the miniature donkeys. Oh, Grandpa's. Look, he's going. We're losing him. It's not good. Anyway.

[B]

Hearing so much better now.

[C]

Can you hear again? Yeah, a little bit.

[B]

Yep.

[D]

What?

[C]

Are you sure? Are you just lying to yourself because you don't want to really be deaf? You've been blaming congestion for three solid weeks.

[B]

So much better.

[A]

What'd you do to clear it up?

[B]

What's what?

[C]

Never mind.

[D]

Which.

[B]

What? I had no idea.

[A]

What'd you do to clear it up?

[C]

How? How? Hey. He say, how are you hearing? Better. What did you do to make it so you hear better? Is what Brett's asking.

[D]

Got it.

[B]

Which.

[C]

What?

[A]

We need the horn.

[C]

What did you do?

[B]

It just had to play its course. It just. You know, I did Moxicillin Z pack.

[C]

You took some pills weeks ago. Yeah, and it didn't quite work out. And then. So you're not following up on this just to make sure.

[B]

I've been treating it. You know, I've been turning because I did a couple breathing treatments. Maybe that helped.

[C]

But I did send you the article that kidney disease and hearing loss are a big thing. You didn't check in on that one?

[B]

I did.

[C]

Okay, good. And they said, don't worry about it. Yeah, okay.

[B]

Doctor said that says it's more of a virus.

[C]

Okay. Keep my. We're keeping our eyes on him. You asked what he did to get his hearing back, and he said what? I worry. We're worried about.

[B]

See, I thought he was talking to you.

[C]

No, no. Well, no, you didn't, because you asked him what? You knew exactly no, you wouldn't have said that. That's a lie. That's a complete and utter lie. You don't say what to a guy who's talking to someone else.

[B]

And sometimes I can't understand Mumbles over there.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Oh, is that what we're going with?

[B]

It's the heavy Italian.

[C]

I understood you clearly. I picked it up immediately with my two good ears. Oh, for Christ's sake. This one. Anyway, here's some Burl Ives, everybody. Tomorrow we're doing the. The Palladio finals over at Stand Up Live down there at Copper Blues Downtown next. Stand Up Live. And you head down there tomorrow night to watch the bands battle it out for the. For the Palladio championship.

[B]

What do we have confirmed?

[C]

Well, that's the thing. We got to get it all figured out. But, like, you even had our guy, Brent. He's not. Maybe, maybe not.

[B]

Here's the lineup.

[C]

Couple maybes. Did you get a few confirmed? Toledo. Are we good?

[E]

We have four right now. Okay, we have the number two Band Without Fear.

[C]

Good.

[E]

We have the number four band. The Mess I Made. We have the number six Band. Thomas James Band.

[C]

I like them.

[E]

And we have number seven, Didi Men.

[C]

And what about dj? Dj?

[E]

Not a word yet.

[C]

What? We're worried that this is all.

[E]

AI gotten more word from the truck driver that drives with her than I.

[C]

Yes, the people she works with.

[E]

Yep.

[C]

And she's got a page. I'm dying to see her do that live.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

She's got to be there. AI, I'm gonna Miller again today, force this. All right, we'll email her.

[E]

And the truck driver that drives with her.

[C]

Yeah, he's got a guy with her. So we have four. Brady, I want you to introduce yourself to a guy named Henry Satulovich. He emails quite a bit, and he says a farmer friend of mine sold miniature donkeys, and they had a slogan, everyone needs a little ass. Okay. This is the type of people we're dealing with that sell little donkeys. There's that horn we gotta buy. You got pictures of what, an old woman with one of those ear horns?

[B]

What? Oh, good.

[C]

I'm glad you can hear again. What'd you do to fix it?

[B]

Which.

[C]

What? Great. Glad it's working out. Yeah. Brady couldn't hear you because you weren't using your hands. Like, you're hard to understand when you're sitting on your hands. Because Italians, you start mumbling when you don't. When you'll get your hands up. Brady doesn't know what you're saying. It's called sign language, but he's. He just thinks you're Italian. We don't know John holmberg's Morning Sickness. The 98 KUPD this is Larry McFeely.

[D]

And if you're trying to feel like the Valley's version of Santa Claus this holiday season, then you've got to get behind the wheel of a new Toyota, slide into a Camry or Corolla, and cruise the valley delivering gifts in smooth, quiet comfort. Need more room for those presents? The Grand Highlander has space for the whole sleigh crew. Want to take the scenic snowy route up north? The 4Runner in Tacoma is Santa's favorite for hauling the big stuff. Plus, this is the best inventory Valley Toyota dealers have had all year. Toyotathon is on. Visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com toyota let's go places.

[C]

All right, HMS podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. East side Champion Prom in the heart of ASU has Ryan Hamilton and Alice Wetterland performing downtown at Stand Up Live. Luis Alvarez and Dimitri Martin entertain you. And up north, the Desert Ridge Improv has sets from both Jason Salmon and Rachel Feinstein for the complete lineups. And for tickets go to to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[A]

People are calling now saying or hitting up it's AI. She didn't sing that.

[C]

That's what everybody's gonna say. Well, that's the. That's what we're gonna have to run with because it was too perfect otherwise. Brent's another one. Yeah, his.

[A]

What they call themselves Witness protection.

[C]

Witness protection.

[A]

Great song.

[C]

Great song. Have to think out there and people want Pistol Pete. We found out Pistol Pete has been broken up for almost two decades. And they put that song in. A guy's like, let's get the band back together. And then they remember they all hate each other, so that's probably not a thing.

[A]

And the Blues Brothers put the band back together. These guys can do it.

[C]

Everybody eventually puts the band back together.

[E]

The one star night apparently worked feverishly over the entire Thanksgiving break to get the two brothers, the other guys in the band, to talk to each other again. They haven't for years.

[C]

Is that right?

[E]

And he said, yeah, we're not going.

[B]

To be able to.

[C]

No, they won't do it.

[A]

Just bring in a replacement bass player. It's fine.

[C]

Bass players are dime a dozen.

[A]

You don't even have to bear to do it.

[C]

You don't have to be good at it.

[A]

You don't got to learn. 16 seconds. Brady could do it.

[C]

Yeah, Brady. It's not like he's gonna have a hearing loss from all the noise on stage. It's too late. He plays with feel. That's what bass players are supposed to do.

[E]

Face lessons with Katero.

[C]

Yeah, we're good.

[A]

It's 16 seconds.

[C]

The joke bass players hate the most because deep down they know they're just angry at being not guitarists, is that if you ever have a large gathering or you want to, you have a, like, you know, a march or a riot. The fastest way to disperse large crowds is to have bass players go out and play solos on corners, and people will leave immediately. No one's ever gone to a club going, wow, there's a bass soloist, and he's going to kill it tonight. Like, no, I'm not watching that.

[B]

Here's the bass player after the Suns game.

[C]

Oh, no. A guy stands up.

[A]

Unless you're Bootsy Collins.

[C]

Yeah, but you still need to play around. You know, there's a few guys from Royal Blood you watch. That dude can play some bass, but he makes it sound like a guitar, and no bass player can figure it out. He's got something. He's not a normal bass player.

[A]

We got bass players volunteering to play.

[E]

They'll play.

[C]

We got bass players.

[A]

Batman says he'll do it right now.

[C]

Nothing to it. Give him 24 hours. He needs to learn two songs. Every bass player worth their weight can learn two songs. Especially when one of them 16 seconds long. We don't need, you know, the guys from Pink Floyd trying to reunite here. It's Piss Ball Pete, for Christ's sake.

[B]

Might have to modify the competition next year.

[C]

Yeah, you have got to be a band. That would help AI screwing it all up, that's for sure.

[B]

But.

[C]

Yeah. Hey, John, you did this story about the people poisoning each other. Has anyone checked into Brady's life insurance policy? Sounds like he's got some sort of misery situation going on. Or he's just aging rapidly before our eyes. Three weeks of deafness is strange. It is, it is. But he's okay. Brett asked him, and after a much louder second question, he got a proper response. What? Which What? And then that horrible lie. Oh, I thought he was talking to you. Then why did you ask him? What horrible lie? Just covering freedom. We worry about the answer the way Brett would.

[B]

None of your business.

[C]

Yeah, there you go.

[A]

See, that would have been an answer.

[B]

So many things.

[C]

Write the book. Yeah, yeah, that's my thing. I don't remember Iron use my biographer, but all he said was, what'd you do to fix it?

[B]

What was the magic potion?

[C]

Yeah, you didn't hear that. Which is the irony of the hilarity. We'll get to later. Anyway, we're hoping we make it through the show. That's all we care about today. Thanksgiving's over. The holidays are here. And now it just gets weird. For the next three or four weeks, everybody's just waiting for stuff to end. It's Cyber Monday, which I don't even know if that counts anymore.

[A]

It seems like it's Cyber weekend.

[C]

I mean, this is cyber. It's been Black Friday since, like, Halloween.

[B]

Well, we crushed it Friday. Was it.

[C]

Was it a culmination of all the Black Friday I've seen for the last month?

[B]

That's 11.8 billion online. That's up basically almost 10% from last year. It's 10.8 billion last year. It's 11 8.

[C]

I saw the thing about Bass Pro Shops had a Black Friday thing going.

[B]

And.

[C]

And they had people sleeping outside now. What are you selling at Bass Pro Shops that there's a line for? You couldn't get that tomorrow. You can't get that online. I would never sleep outside the Bass unless it's just like everything in the store is free for an hour.

[B]

There's the only way people that love going out there 6am the next day after, you know, Thanksgiving.

[C]

But sleeping over at the mall so.

[B]

You can get your train set.

[C]

But for deals that are definitely online, you just get it in hand, I guess, that day. But unless it's a free for all, like first 100 people get to raid the store, fill a cart, keep everything. I'm not staying outside there. I'll pay the extra not to fight with you over the last teddy bear or whatever I'm fighting for doesn't seem like with the convenience of the Internet, it doesn't seem like that whole stay outside and fight other people is real. Remember, it was just, what, 10 years ago? Maybe a little longer than that. Where they used to have all those security guards that would get jobs to stand in the malls because people were fighting. People were trampling each other. At Walmart, they have plenty of those videos we saw where people were getting killed to go into Walmart for the door buster deals. They called it door busters. They knew that their doors probably wouldn't hold up. And now we. Now we just like the Internet. How much were you actually saving?

[B]

The peak on Friday was 10am to 2pm we were spending 12 and a half million per minute online.

[C]

That's insane. And it's going to go today.

[B]

4 billion online on Thanksgiving Day.

[C]

Yeah. Today is Cyber Monday, and that's the one that has been taking. It's been passing Black Friday over the last few years. As far as, like, transactions, it's huge.

[A]

I did have to go to Home Depot on Black Friday because our garbage disposal. So I had to go there and there was a lot of idiots in there trying to get those deals and.

[C]

I guess in store only and. Yeah, but I mean, it better be substantial 90 off for me to want to stand in any lines.

[A]

I mean, a lot of the stuff on Amazon, I was just searching for other stuff. Wasn't even Cyber Monday shopping or Black Friday. And it was just 20 off today only.

[C]

It's like, yeah, 20 is worth the crap. If I have to stand in line for things, I'll pay extra not to. I'll give somebody a hundred bucks to cut the line and then what's the point? And it's not because I, you know, I just throw money. I just don't. I can't do lines. I hate them. And nothing seems worth it. I don't feel like I've saved anything. If it took me an hour longer than it would have had, I just bought it for the regular price tomorrow. I prefer my time over money, especially when you're just saving 20%. That's garbage. But we'll see. My phone is exploding with deals. Ian Schwartz, who probably had to cover this, said, my first. The first people at the Bass Pro shops got a 500 gift card at the mall. All right, that's kind of good. You get 500 bucks handed to you, you're winning something. That's more than just shopping for a deal. You're actually winning something.

[A]

But what if you're 501 or the, you know, the last person in lock.

[C]

Well, count it out. Yeah. You know when you get there and you're like, okay, it's two in the morning, I'm gonna go do a real. A head check roll. 1, 2, 3, 1, 4, 9, 9, 5. Oh, I'm 502 right on the bubble. I mean, I'd hang around if I was 505. And in just in case a couple people or they just.

[B]

They came, members of their family, they.

[C]

Try to leave, I don't get a card.

[B]

Yeah, one per family.

[C]

I might stay 505. Anything after that, I'm like, I'm not gonna sleep on a sidewalk for 500 bucks. I'll just. I'll get my bass pros. And I saw something about fish. Fishing's become just nothing but cheating. How is it dynamite's not allowed, but they have a. A new lure that stuns the fish. Yeah, it's got. It's got kind of a thing in it that if it touches a fish, the fish just gets, like, hypnotized and grabs it. I'm like, well, that's cheating. And then another thing's got this sensor on it, like a. A thing that draws fish to it. I don't know if it's like a bing. I don't know if it's like, some sort of noise.

[B]

Like, she puts a light up at night and the lights.

[C]

And you can bring them in. Like, this thing's down on the. On the bait. And I'm like, well, that's no different than using a net. And it's, like, guarantees five catches. And I'm like, well, what's the fun in that? Fishing used to be a crapshoot, like.

[B]

Scattering the feed on your deer stand.

[C]

Well, you got to draw them in somehow. I get that. But I've always thought deer stands for the laziest thing. If you're hunting, go hunting. Don't climb a tree and wait for them to come to you. Then you're just lazy. Get out there and walk around. Find it. You can sit down every once in a while, but if you're just putting food all over the place, you're just a deer molester. That's what. That's what chomos do.

[B]

Soaked in dough and heat.

[C]

Yeah, you're grooming. Yeah, I like it when you cover yourself in piss and walk the woods. That's. That's hunting. But if you build a little tree stand and you sit and wait for one to come to you, you're just lazy. Get out there and walk it. You know, pick a spot, hang out. Look around. This looks like a place they might show up. And you're. You should. It should be like a. Like, three seconds. In the NBA, you're not allowed to stay in that spot for longer than, like, 10 minutes before you gotta move again or you're penalized. But I don't even have to have guys judging that. That's just lazy. But to have fishing, like, I would want. Worm, hook, pole. I don't want technology.

[B]

I want to go fishing now with this new lure.

[C]

Well, you got to see this thing. It was on the news, like, yeah, Emit some sort of sensor that makes the fish numb. And then they grab the first thing they see. Like, well, that's, that's, that's what molesters do. It's chloroform. Essentially. You're just chloroforming the fish.

[A]

You're roofing the fish.

[C]

You're roofing them and then you get them back at the house and you like, you eat them. But it's just the same.

[A]

I'll just go to Ocean44 and I.

[C]

Got time for that. I ain't got time for all that either. Oh, man, that's ahi over there at the stake 44. Friday Thursday. Whoa. That was good. So good. So anyway, enjoy Cyber Monday. You're gonna go spend all your money on stupid stuff again. Like semen from salmon. Semen from salmon. That's a good candy. From salmon is a great man named holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 kupd. Hey, it's john Holmberg from the morning sickness. When my beloved dog Dutchy started to slow down, I knew in my heart the time was going to come. That's when I reached out to Happy Endings in Home pet euthanasia. Once Dr. Fixler got to my house, he explained every step, answered all the questions, and created a peaceful, loving atmosphere. Right there. We were able to hold Dutchy on her favorite blanket. Happy Endings made it as peaceful and dignified as the moment could be. If your furry companion is getting close, close to that time, whether it's a dog or a cat, and you want the comfort of home, the compassion of professionals, and the dignity your pet deserves, call Happy Endings. Visit online Happy Endings euthanasia.com because every pet's life should have a happy ending, come on down to the Ranch House Grill.

[A]

Comfort food is your next meal.

[F]

Pork chiliberti, Chicken fried steak.

[C]

Ranch House knows you'll think it's great.

[F]

Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road.

[C]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Brett at 7:25. What do you got on the big board of musical treats? All right.

[A]

Wake up song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And you know the weather's getting nice. It's getting a little cold up north. And now's the time to head on up there and get that snowboarding and skiing in. And no better place to get all the gear you're going to need. Then Action Ride Shop at the old school location, the OG right there on Gilbert Road in Southern. If you want to hit the trails, you want to do the mountain biking, well, then you got to go over to the brand new location over there on Power Road. McDowell. Hit the Haws trailhead. Get all the advice, everything you're going to need at action ride shop. Actionrideshop.com tons of stuff up there. Corey Taylor, the Xmas song Misfits. Dig up her bones for the guy having sex with a corpse. Primus. John the Fisherman for what we were talking about Staying the cycle of hurting for the Cardinals. Avenged Nickelback, Disturbed Light the Torch, Anthrax. Bring the noise for Brady since he can't hear. And corn, can you hear me for Brady?

[C]

Ian also said the next 500 people got to jerk off a salmon so you could go to the Bass Pro Shops and knock that down. Bass Pro Shops is for outdoorsmen and people from the movie Awakening Things. Have you ever been there?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

You go in the Bass Pro Shop when they do that feeding.

[A]

No, I haven't been there for the feeding.

[B]

Zombies.

[C]

Zombies. It is a group of people that you should just put handcuffs on while they're standing there. They're mesmerized. Like the fish that get that pheromone bait. They just stand and watch fish eat and they lose their minds for a second, but they're gone. And they're outside waiting for it. And then they charge in there and there's normal people walking around. And then them, am I gonna feed some fish to some other fish?

[B]

Oh, you gotta see that.

[C]

And they stand there like weirdos. It's strange.

[B]

And afterwards, we're gonna get some of them candied nuts.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know what that is. I'm not. I'm not.

[B]

Cinnamon nuts that they have in.

[C]

We get you too excited when we talk about fish and eating nuts. It's been a big morning for Brady's porn brain jerking off salmon. We're at Bass pro shops getting 500 bucks.

[B]

What?

[C]

Yeah, there's no reason you don't like, do anything that you would need anything at Bass Pro Shops other than the nuts, maybe. Right. Except for watch the fish in the big tank doing.

[B]

Although, you know, when my, my dad would come in town, we'd Make a. A trip over to Cabela's or. Or Bass Pro. He just liked going over there just to hang around. Because I. At the time, I don't think they had one in Columbus. He order online. He's like, oh, they got the big store.

[C]

Yeah, let's go over there. He just liked walking around.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Getting out of the house.

[B]

And he had a picture up in the Cabela's in another town in Ohio. It was my dad and I when we trapped some beaver.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

They put the picture up in the.

[C]

Store and all the Bass Pro shops, Just the.

[B]

The one Cabela's in Circleville, Ohio.

[C]

But he wanted to go there to see if they had duplicated this one here.

[B]

So. Like, being part of that.

[C]

I like your new I'm dying voice also. I don't know what's going on over there. Are you okay?

[B]

I'm fine.

[C]

All right.

[B]

You sound.

[C]

Am I wrong?

[A]

Well.

[C]

I kind of want to give you a lozenge and give you a nap. You just sound like you're. You're airy. I like it. Sexy thrill.

[B]

Asthmatic.

[C]

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. We're keeping our eyes on you. We don't want you to have to. It's that William Shatner thing. Although I'm just waiting for the moment. Or I have to do CPR I don't know how to do. I like the dig upper bones, even though I don't like the misfits.

[A]

That's not Glenn singing, though. Oh, that's the other singer. It's the good Misfits, Michael Graves.

[C]

Okay. It's on the list. Or do we go with the Corey Taylor and take a swing at Beth? Literally next. Next four weeks, we get our asses handed to us by Burl Ives. Beth goes off the air for four weeks, and it's the best her show can be. It's just gotta be embarrassing for her. She takes off from the end of November all the way through December, and their ratings soar. I would be embarrassed. I'd be like, just play Christmas music all year. It can't be bad. Anyway, I love Christmas, but Corey Taylor's right. I hate Christmas music for the fact that we. I mean, again, it's so false. It's so fake. They don't even count it in the annual ratings. This month is like a. Well, this doesn't count. Nobody's gonna. Yeah. And it just goes kind of aside, Right?

[B]

Carrie gets two and a half million. Yeah.

[C]

Every December, everybody goes a little crazy starting November 30th and gets weird when they put the tree up and they got the music going and then they get addicted to it. I think there's something in Christmas music that, like, some hidden messages that make us all weird for four weeks.

[B]

Cheeks.

[C]

I tuned in last night just to see is it going.

[A]

How many times you hear Mariah Carey?

[C]

Oh, I didn't listen that long.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But I heard the. The instrumental of the.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Cheeks are nice and rosy. And it's. I still thinking about it like, it was. This was 14 hours ago. And I'm still like, it won't go away. I've heard like a hundred songs since. That one's still in there.

[A]

I love Christmas. I'm a little Christmased out. Went and seen Trans Siberian Orchestra last night.

[C]

Did you go?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Great show.

[C]

Yeah, I hear that. So I've never been, but I hear that's awesome. It's almost become sort of.

[B]

Were you filled with the Christmas spirit?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Until I got up on my seat and left.

[C]

And then it.

[A]

While I'm sitting there. But I tell you what, I've never felt they gotta have something in the rider or something. That arena was so cold.

[C]

Really?

[A]

It was freezing. It was ice.

[C]

Yeah, I know, but I want to make sure, like, you're in the middle of a storm.

[B]

Siberia.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, that's right. They're from Siberia. Maybe that's.

[A]

I'm sure they are.

[C]

They're comfortable that way. I saw them interviewing. I saw them interviewing the dude touring this one.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And he talks about whoever invented it. I don't know the guy's name. He's got beard black on, like that. He. He doesn't die. Is the china and black. China and black. Okay. He doesn't die at human color. And he's sitting there going, the original message of this was such a beautiful thing. And my. Who is that? Siberian. We just want to keep that message alive. Philanthropy and the music and love and Christmas and all that jazz. And he's got some lady next to him.

[B]

That's exactly right.

[C]

Whoever the dude is who came up with it, they were just praising him like it was. It almost felt like Scientology. L. Ron Hubbard put this Siberian orchestra together, and we can't get enough of it. And I go home every night and I dye my face Chinaman black. And then I go on stage. I want the hair of a silky Chinaman, black as black as night. I want under the bed, dark hair. I want lightning bugs to live in my hair. Darkness that can't be. People on the equator would go, jesus, that's black. And it was just. It was almost like he colored it in with markers. Talking about the beauty of it. And I've never been. I've wanted to go, but it feels cultish. Some, the people who like it almost like it too much. Where I feel like I can't go to this.

[B]

How many times have you seen it?

[A]

This is the first time.

[C]

No kidding.

[A]

That's first.

[C]

I hear it's amazing.

[A]

It is.

[B]

It is.

[A]

And you know, I mean, there's like six of them.

[C]

They're all over the country.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I know there's one on the East Coast. I know there's one on the west coast because John Gordon and I were talking about the other day and one of the old guitar players from Megadeth plays in one of the touring version.

[C]

Ellison.

[A]

No, no, no.

[C]

The Other Patrol.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No kidding. Yeah, I didn't know that either. Yeah, it's something I want to go to, but it's cool to experience it. It's.

[A]

It's great to see once it's kind.

[C]

Of a Ted Nugent show. I want to go, but when I'm there, I look around and go, I don't want to be with these people. I think the crowd and they're probably a bunch of dudes in weird Chinaman black hair dye.

[A]

There was that.

[C]

Yeah. A lot of times it strikes me as a crowd that would like that. Turtlenecks and Chinaman blackbeards.

[A]

But I tell you what, you're in and out. It was like it's an hour and 15 hour and 20 minute show. That's it. No openers.

[C]

Just go.

[B]

What do they close with?

[A]

I left during that.

[C]

You didn't go. Stay for the end.

[B]

Beat the traffic.

[A]

How do you do that out of work in the morning?

[C]

Oh, we come on.

[B]

Unbelievable.

[C]

That is kind of bad.

[A]

Hey, I don't care. It was Christmas. Doubt I had enough Christmas. I had an hour in.

[C]

It's December.

[A]

Hour and 13 minutes of it.

[B]

Good.

[C]

You're already screwed, Beth.

[B]

On.

[A]

On the way home.

[C]

I'm with you. Well, that's what everybody does because we get hypnotized like it's some sort of weird sci fi movie. And then Burl Ives kicks our ass for four and a half weeks. Have a tell you the story. Silver and gold. Everybody's like, must listen to that crap. Every office has it on. And it did last night. I did hear between songs they did the 99.9 Christmas music a Easy or whatever they're called. I don't even know this jingle. And I'm like 25 years. I've never had jingles. And so I'm. I started writing jingles last night. We're gonna do jingles for 20. I know. I gotta talk to Hopkins guys about getting jingles put together and it'll just be like Homeberg wanted crappy jingles on K U P D. It's just gonna be about me hating jingles. But I need them.

[A]

The old school WKRP sweepers and stuff like that. Perfect.

[C]

It's another jingle for Humberg's morning sickness.

[B]

We had a company come in years ago back in the day when I was in sales and they created jingles.

[C]

It's such a. It's a dream.

[B]

You meet with your client and they jingle set up, they create a jingle form.

[C]

I think that's what I want to do when I quit. This is just be a jingle singer. Brady's got the looks and that's all you have to do when somebody gives you a check. Simple. But yeah. Beth in the morning and Christmas music all day. That's just awful.

[A]

Any of the other jocks work during the day or is it just straight Christmas music?

[C]

They're all home.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

No, they're not waking up, laughing, collecting checks and laughing. Their station gets better than it's ever been for drunk weeks. Yeah, just drunk. Just snow in the system. Christmas music. And I don't mind it, but it sticks. There's something to it. Is that the second I heard it, I'm like, never, ever stop thinking of this song. Damn. Beth did it. Corey Taylor will fix it. We'll do his Christmas song. Kick off our Christmas music too. From Slipknot. It's Corey Taylor's I hate Christmas and it's a good one. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[B]

It's Brady for game day men's health, the valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should do what I did. Schedule a complimentary appointment which is quick and easy. You go to gamedaymenshealth.com youm'll sit down with a board certified medical director and you'll figure out what treatments can help you. Join me, John Brett and Toledo and the thousands of Phoenix area men by going to gamedaymenshealth.com and schedule your complimentary appointment today. It's fast, it's easy, and there's over 12 locations to go to. Get back in the game with game day men's health.

[C]

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