12-02-25 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 12/02/25 FULL SHOW (Tuesday)

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98 KUPD, Arizona)
Date: December 2, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Main Theme:
A riotously irreverent, laughter-filled takedown of holiday “charity terrorism,” smartphone parenting fails, medical breakthroughs in “butt breathing,” and a stroll through society’s inability to take anything seriously. Plus, anticipation for the Playdio 2025 Finals, relentless shots at baldness, and the usual mix of music, pop culture, and Arizona mayhem.

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Episode Overview

The show opens as a typical Tuesday gets hijacked by John’s exasperation with relentless “charity terrorism”—people, apps, and QR codes that guilt shoppers at every store entrance during holiday fundraising season. The crew riff on social guilt, smart parenting (and dumb smartphone choices), bizarre medical news, and even take some pointed jabs at charity organizations, the NFL, and the state of modern entertainment.

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Key Topics & Discussions

1. “Charity Terrorism” and Holiday Guilt (05:00–20:00)

- The Season of Taking

• John coins the term “charity terrorism” for holiday fundraisers at storefronts: “It’s not giving season, it’s the taking season” (12:41, John).
• He vents about being accosted by bell ringers/QR codes and how guilt, not generosity, is leveraged.
• “It’s hostage negotiation. That’s extortion. That’s not charity.” (11:20, John)
• Childhood fundraising anecdotes: from kidnapped kids to modern parents selling at work for their kids’ sports trips.
• “You should give because you want to, and you should feel good after you do.” (05:25, John)

- Salvation Army NFL Moments

• Memorializing Ezekiel Elliott’s 2016 Salvation Army kettle touchdown.
• John: “That was a commercial! They never frown on that.” (05:59)

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2. The Dark Side of Modern Parenting: Smartphones and Kids (29:00–37:00)

• The crew lampoon studies about kids under 12 getting smartphones and a skyrocketing risk of depression, obesity, and poor socialization.
• John: “If you gave a kid under 12 a smartphone, Columbia says start over – that one’s toast.” (32:35)
• Parental hypocrisy: “Every time I see a parent hand a kid an iPad at dinner, it’s like they’re done with them.” (35:19, John)
• Parenting by avoidance (“I don’t want you here. Disappear into this thing…”)
• “We just played Problem Child, Brett. High five.” (34:06, John)

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3. Charity Scams, CEO Salaries, and the Business Side of Giving (43:00–47:00)

• John relays eye-opening experiences running fundraising events: “We raised $7 million for stroke association…and we missed our budget by $3 million!” (43:20)
• Shocking charity leader salaries: “The ‘We Love Cancer’ CEO makes $5.7 million. Cancer’s as big a business as it is a disease.” (46:37, John)
• Encourages giving to transparent causes where donors see real impact (esp. for military families).

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4. The Goliath Expedition: A 27-Year Walk Across the Planet (59:00–72:00)

• John details the almost-finished quest of Carl Bushby, who walked 30,000 miles from South America to Romania over 27 years.
• Mocking the futility and loneliness: “For what? So I can tell you I did it?” (61:17, John)
• “I bet he did this to impress a girl who’s now 52 and doesn’t care.” (64:19, John)
• Math: “30,000 miles in 27 years? That’s three miles a day—dude sucks.” (71:54, John).
• “We don’t marvel at anything, that’s a marvelous achievement.” (69:43)

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5. Cutting-Edge (and Hilarious) Medical News: “Butt Breathing” (47:44–57:33)

• Japanese stem-cell doctor invents a medical enema that oxygenates blood via the rectum.
• John: “Butt breathing is real and no one marveled at it. Everyone immediately asked if you could smoke weed through your ass.” (54:05)
• Joke barrage: “Can we reverse fart, too? Will this change my breath?” (51:49, John)
• Societal takeaway: “We are no longer a society that deserves nice things. We just want to stuff weed in it.” (57:33)

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6. Baldness Joins the Protected Class (127:20–134:04)

• A UK court rules that calling a man “bald” is sexual harassment.
• John: “Bald is our new n-word. Only bald guys get to use it!” (129:16)
• “You look like a toilet seat… you’re bald, so quit it.” (134:04)

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7. AI-Generated Music and The Fall of Modern TV/Movie Entertainment (146:05–159:44)

• Vamping on AI recreating hit songs in soul/funk style (“No Rain” as a Motown jam has Holmberg giggling).
• Rolling Stone’s “Best Movies of the Year” list: The team mocks the unrecognizable titles.
• Millie Bobby Brown’s adulting undermines Stranger Things’ 1980s premise: “She was eight when this started. Now she’s 30, and it’s still 1987!” (158:00)
• General lament that modern pop culture feels played out.

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8. Listener Stories, Musical Segments, and Local Content (81:00–124:00)

• Recap and preview of Playdio 2025 (local band/music competition), including the ongoing mystery of DJ Bathsheba.
• Touching story of a listener donating $500 after his ladder was saved by mysterious “elves” (a.k.a. Mexicans).
• Lively music picks, animal videos, and more—HMS style.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

“It’s not giving season, it’s the taking season. You’re not giving because you want to. You’re just dodging a guilt trip.”
— John Holmberg (12:41)

“If homeless people stood outside and begged for money the entire year… we’d call it a nuisance—and we do.”
— John Holmberg (11:19)

“If you gave a smartphone to a child before 12, Columbia says: Start again, that one’s toast.”
— John Holmberg (32:35)

“The ‘We Love Cancer’ CEO makes $5.7 million. Cancer’s as big a business as it is a disease.”
— John Holmberg (46:37)

“Butt breathing is real! And no one marveled at it. Everyone immediately asked if you could smoke weed through your ass.”
— John Holmberg (54:05)

“Bald is our new N-word. Only we can use it. It’s our B-word now.”
— John Holmberg (129:16)

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Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|---------| | 05:00 | Charity Terrorism, Storefront Guilt, Salvation Army NFL ads | | 29:00 | Smartphones, Kids & Mental Health, Parenting by iPad | | 43:00 | The Business of Giving, Charity Scams & CEO Salaries | | 47:44 | Medical Breakthrough: Butt Breathing, and Societal Reactions | | 59:28 | The Goliath Expedition (27-Year Walk) | | 81:00 | Playdio Preview, Band Finals, Listener Stories | | 127:20 | “Bald” as Harassment, HR Rulings | | 146:05 | AI Music, Rolling Stone’s “Best Movies,” Pop Culture Takes |

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Tone & Style

• Loose, quick-witted, and irreverent: John’s rants blend outrage with self-mockery. The team trades barbs and snappy one-liners, frequently lampooning modern sensitivities, societal trends, and local quirks.
• Local flavor: Arizona references and listener engagement are constant.
• Notable Edginess: Some language, jokes, and analogies are intentionally provocative—not for the easily offended.
• Listener interaction: Multiple e-mails and stories drawn from the community.

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Final Thoughts

This HMS episode skewers the phony charity “holiday guilt,” questions the effectiveness of modern parenting and charities, mocks society’s inability to marvel at innovation (especially when there’s an opportunity to make a “weed through your ass” joke), and wears its contrarian local-morning-radio credentials with pride. Amidst the cathartic venting, the show’s heart comes out—supporting military families, paying tribute to loyal listeners, and reminding everyone to give with intention, not guilt.

— End of Summary —

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at.

[John Holmberg]

Risk and come into M and P.

[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John Holmberg]

I've never felt like this before. It's like you just get me. I feel like my true self with you. Does that sound crazy? And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous.

[Byron]

Okay, that's it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm taking you home with me. I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas and more at your DSW store or dsw dot com. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It's 5:45 this the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, There's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. Let's go for a glorious Tuesday. Although the paradise is is now becoming a treacherous landscape of terrorism, it is back everyone. The terrorism people are everywhere. I've been hit by it hard and it's Giving Tuesday today and today is giving Tuesday. So this is where you give. My point being the charists that stand in front of stores that guilt you into your money leaving your pocket are now terrorism 2025 QR codes Venmo the ability to pay them constantly without having no longer is my sorry man no cash pat my pockets move valuable to the people trying to terrorize and terrorism isn't charity is a great thing. I'm not hating on all. I'm hating on the opportunity that every store I go to now I feel guilty leaving or going in because there's someone from something asking me for money and I have to eventually start saying no. I Give my money through. And by the way, for giving Tuesday, I signed up already for a monthly gift to the Arizona Humane Society because I thought, you know what, that's the thing I should do anyway. I give periodically a good amount. Why not just give monthly and get to that amount either way and just have a steady stream going? So that was my move for giving Tuesday and it probably won't be the last. But terrorism has been a problem for me for a long time. QR codes. I saw a guy out in front of the Walgreens, no legs, I don't think, or he's really short in his wheelchair and had a blanket and he's standing in front of a bucket that I thought for a second might be the Salvation Army. And then I looked and went, they have the big pots, they don't do buckets. It was a good sized bucket. And he stood outside and he rang a bell and he didn't say anything. And he had a little sign next to him that had a QR code on it. You could take a picture and give him money. It must be stopped. It must be stopped. There is not a soul on, on the planet that feels good about what they donate into the terrorism drop offs. It's just not. The buckets are terrible and I'm fine with a, a box. You know something as you're leaving that says, hey, donate a toy, do this, or go back in there and you know, go in the Walgreens and get one of those number one granddad shirts. Someone will wear it. I'm fine with that. It's the person sitting next to the thing that they're trying to get people with. I got an email from a guy named Jim who said that he saw a 20 year old kid sitting there with an oxygen tank and he looked completely healthy. He's got an oxygen tank and sitting in a chair like you don't want to ask him because then you're involved and then you have to give them something.

[Byron]

When they pick up the bucket, they get an option to get all sorts of options to, you know, you want a tank. You want, they got like a wardrobe closet over there.

[John Holmberg]

It's, it's, yeah, it's, it's Hollywood costuming. What do you want to do? You want to get your legs looking like they're gone? Like, you know, Lieutenant Murphy places him sitting on top of them. Terrorism must end. It must end. But the oxygen tank for a 20 year old. All right, you're just trying to bait me into either conversation or just guilt me into throwing Money at it. And guilt for charity is what we lean on more than people actually wanting to give. It's not right. I challenge anyone out there to find a person that goes, God, I just love going to the Walgreens and seeing people dropping off money to the kid outside or to the school that needs their kids to go to Australia to play bells for Christmas or.

[Byron]

Or the way the doors are set up there.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't. You can't. You can't do a thing. You're trapped. But the problem being it's not. It's not charity. It's guilt. There's a difference. It's a massive difference. And you should. You should give because you want to, and you should feel good after you do. You shouldn't walk away and go, God damn it, like I did last night.

[Byron]

Is it bad that I feel good? Dallas Cowboys score touchdown. He jumps into the Salvation army years ago.

[John Holmberg]

And there was a big trouble last week.

[Byron]

And then they called it back.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, somebody do it again.

[Byron]

Yeah, Tight end.

[John Holmberg]

It's becoming the tradition. Ezekiel Elliott bounce into the Salvation army bucket. And that's the thing that. It's a good ad for the Salvation Army. I think that's a really good idea.

[Byron]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

But the. They put the bucket there after Ezekiel Elliott did that and said, don't do that again. And then looks at each other went like, he's going to do. They have the cowboys to do that every time. They never once were frowning on that. They act like they're all, you can't do it. It's the. It's a commercial. But, man, oh, man, the QR codes, the guilty terrorism. It's been terrorism from day one.

[Brett Vesely]

Are the goddamn bell ringers out there already? Because I haven't been to a store in a couple.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's what I'm. Yeah, there was a kid was ringing about, but he didn't have. He didn't have the Salvation Army. Okay. He had a bucket. I don't know if that was what he was doing.

[Brett Vesely]

I think Bezos is paying these people. Somebody is gonna stop you from going to the store.

[John Holmberg]

Screw that.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm on Amazon.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. You know what? Maybe it's a great big Bezos move telling you, but it was my first brilliant. It was my first dance with it. And a few years ago, when I really got, you know, burned on chair, terrorism was when a guy said, you got any change? And I literally didn't have anything. I pat my. I do my move. I do the human move. It's not. I didn't invent this. This is a natural response to, you got any money? You pat your pockets. Don't know why. You just do. No, I'm. I got nothing. Sorry. Really? You got no money at all? And then, you know, I got in my car.

[Brett Vesely]

Do you.

[John Holmberg]

Nice car. God damn it. Yeah. But he'll sit. He's got a defense for it because he can sit. Well, I'm volunteering, like, oh, you son of a. It just. It's designed to make.

[Brett Vesely]

Get a real job.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. See? And that's it. And then you have to go back to what my Scottish friend Thomas did. You got any money? Oh, I got loads of it, but none for you. And then he leaves. And I've tried that a couple of times with just general street begging. And then, of course, the guy that yelled at me the other day when I was trying to read his sign said, were you looking at Ticker? And I'm like, jesus Christ.

[Brett Vesely]

I'd have given him money.

[John Holmberg]

I thought about it, but I was trying to do is read the guy's sign. It was tiny writing. I needed readers to see this guy's begging sign. And I'm leaning. I get the top off. Leaning out, looking at his thing. 20th street and Camelback, if you want to go see me. He's out there again the other day, still can't read a sign, but I ain't looking anymore. And he's walking by me, and I'm squinting at him. What are you looking at? Ticker. I froze. I didn't say a word back. I didn't even look at him. And I just looked away like, not me. Not me, sir. Thank you, kind gentlemen. But I've never been called the N word by a guy who wanted money from me. Maybe I have. I just didn't hear it. Terrorism. It's back. And you have a good point there, Brett. It could be all Bezos funded. Make you uncomfortable going into the drugstores and grocery stores all the time. And everybody who says, like, oh, but it's. It's a nice thing. It's a nice thing. Is. This is. But do you think it's. I would like to see the numbers of Salvation army donations if they didn't attack people at the door. And it's not just them. I'm not blaming. That's a. It's a fine organization. I'm not. But this. This method they have of. All right, let's go harass people is what. We have signs up in Scottsdale and Tempe that say you don't have to give people money. It's panhandling.

[Byron]

Would you rather have the nice table set up with the mom there and.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't want anybody. Brady. No, I don't want anyone.

[Byron]

Money for his choir.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want anyone there. That's when I. That's when I coined the phrase terrorism. I was at an AJ's in 2002 when that kid was standing outside. I'm like, what are you raising money for? And his mom's there, and she's decked out. He wants to play bells in Australia. And his bell team, I'm like, to time out, sons. The hell's a bell team? Oh, you play the bells? I think I can do that. No, every bell is a different note. You have to know when to go. He plays one note. Yeah, that's called timing. That's a timing team. I can do this. Well, they need $3,800 a kid to go to Australia. They're not bell players in Australia. You got to get them from Phoenix. No, you're not going. Stand outside of the AJ's in Arcadia. You got a couple of cute kids. If it wasn't for the hot mom standing there, you'd be like, all right, somebody's scamming you, but she's standing there, like, doing it. I think terrorism started with parents, with kids, with Girl Scouts, because that's when terrorism stopped being about the giving part and started being about the really horrible guilting part when they allowed the parents to sell at their work and the kids didn't have to do anything. The whole purpose of that was to make the kids kind of feel empowered to go be social.

[Byron]

One of those school fundraisers.

[John Holmberg]

But you know what it took? You know what? You know what ruined it? You know what ruined it? One kidnapping. One kidnapping made it so kids couldn't sell candy bars for a Little League or stand outside and do a. You know. You know, the Girl Scout cookie thing they give. Parents are like, oh, my little angel get kidnapped. And again, I've seen your little angel. It's going to take three people to lift that fat ass. I've seen American kids. Not one of them is capable of being swiped up by a singular person. They're all huge. And so don't worry about your kid getting kidnapped. And also, he probably isn't going to go door to door selling candy bars. He's going to eat the product. He's like, it's like putting Charlie Sheen in front of the coke distribution. Terrorism's got to end. We've got to Come up with a better way. And by the way, we're the most charitable nation by far.

[Byron]

We're the best at it.

[John Holmberg]

Are, if you took that away, wouldn't it just say, oh, we didn't mean it? And then it's like you guys just forced us to do that. Which isn't charity. That's hostage negotiation. That's actually extortion. I want to find, I want everyone to find a charity they love and do something singular for that charity. And if it's not, you know, one that stands out in front of a Walgreens or anyone else and they go out of business, it's because their, their marketing plan was horrible. If homeless people stood outside and they do every day and beg for money and they do, we would call it a nuisance. And we do. They literally have signs in Scottsdale all over that says, don't give them money. There are government regulated, approved by city council signs, you know, manufactured and posted all over Scottsdale and Tempe saying, you don't have to give them. Don't do it. Discourage this. And you know what? You don't see a lot of there people begging you. Just don't. Where they don't have the signs is where there's like three in a corner. Terrorism for the holidays. Here's another thing I know for sure, if it was effective, it would be there all year. They're getting you right now because the stores are busy and they know you're in a hurry.

[Byron]

It's the giving.

[John Holmberg]

It isn't giving. It's the taking season. It's different. It's the taking season. You're not giving because you want to. You didn't go. No one has ever gone, hey, let's stop by the Walmart and drop off some money. It's never happened. You're going to Walmart and you're like, yeah, crap, I gotta try to dodge that guy. And everyone does the other thing of standing behind another group of people going into the Walmart hoping that they're the deflection and you can get in behind them. Do you ever see the one where the people are selling backpacks for like schools and stuff? They're aggressive to do it a couple.

[Byron]

Of times out front of Porkopolis.

[John Holmberg]

Did they? Yeah, they get aggressive. They get really aggressive.

[Byron]

Move on.

[John Holmberg]

No, I sat and talked to one of the people because she caught me because I'm walking through and she goes, sir, please, sir, could you just wait? I just want to give you my pitch. And she was talking to somebody else. I'M like, I'm in a hurry, sir. It's for needy kids. All right, that's what I was thinking. I'm like, I don't need kids. That's the whole purpose of this. If I had kids, they'd be needy, which is the reason I didn't have any. Why am I paying for somebody else's kids? She started to give the pitch, and I'll be honest, she was early 20s, I think she was a gymnast. So she had a better self. Better than some legless homeless. So she's, she's talking to me about it and I'm like, oh. I said, well, what do I just give, like 10 bucks? And she goes, well, we have three packages started at $99. And I'm like, no, no, I'm just going to look, I'm going in here to get laundry detergent. I think I have a hundred bucks to throw around in them just for kids. I don't know. And I did ask her, what if the kid I buy this for is an asshole? Can I get some sort of confirmation that there's a good kid that's gonna get it? Maybe he's needy because his parents don't even want to give him anything because he treats everything poorly. Well, actually, that's just ridiculous. Just asking. It's legitimate. I mean, odds are, have you seen society? But 80% of these kids we're giving stuff to are dicks. Can I get some confirmation that the kid I'm handing this to is actually decent? Probably not. Nobody's willing to do that. Terrorism. And, you know, I heard a couple of years ago, I heard a lady talking to the. I don't know what he was. He was a guy in a tie at the Walgreens, but he, he had the short sleeves and he was in the blue button up shirt, not the red check me out shirt. And she was like, I don't want to come here anymore because of what's going on out there. And I thought she was talking about homeless people. She's talking about the charity guy. No one on 16th and Camelback. That's a CBS, I think I'm not coming here anymore because of that. And he goes, well, it's a. Agreement we have with them. It's like to bother people. Don't. I'd much rather have the anonymous. Do you want to add a dollar to your bill for the Salvation Army? I'd do that. QR codes. We're in the middle of it, boys. Happy holidays. It's the taking season. Don't Let Brady fool you in that giving season. It's the taking season. Give your money to something you love. Don't feel forced into it. Once Humane Society lost our home pet rescue. Plenty of pet rescues. I give to them constantly. I love doing it. Give it to something you care about. Don't feel like you've done it because you haven't. You haven't done a single thing. You know what you paid for marketing, you probably paid for that guy to sit there and all day long they give him some money. And then another thing. So they can have somebody paint their name on a bucket. It's not right.

[Brett Vesely]

What do they do in the off season exactly? Do they do they go back to Vegas and become Transformers and Star Troopers? Walk up and down grifting people that.

[John Holmberg]

Give me a Transformer outside walking around, playing the part. Give me some. Give me some action. That's a good point.

[Byron]

And he's getting paid, right? Put on the outfit.

[John Holmberg]

You know what I think they do? I think they work at Spirit Halloween store and then they do this for a couple months and then their vendors. Vendors at, you know, the Phoenix Open. And then spring training. Oh, they got the Renaissance Festival.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They're gypsies. They're gypsy month long employees.

[Byron]

The only free thing they do is the walk around for all day long at a Comic Con. They do that for free.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, everybody who goes to Comic Con does that.

[Byron]

It's their break. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It costs money to get into. So they're probably raising money so they can go to Comic Con next year with their bucket that's got a lie on the front of it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I hate it. I hate it. Because it speaks more about us than it does about the actual act that we can be forced to give to a charity. And it doesn't make you feel better. That's the whole point of charity. It's. You're supposed to feel okay. You're supposed to leave going, you know what? That was right. That was the right thing. I'm glad that happened. Instead of just shut up, which is what we're doing. QR code. Oh, you got me now. I can't. What's my new excuse? You got nothing. I don't have a phone.

[Brett Vesely]

Just pick up your phone and walk right by him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the thing. Just ignore. Be a bigger dick. Which I just have to.

[Byron]

They've already scanned your phone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they got that little bloop. Thank you. Like what did you. Thank you for your donation. Did I donate? Huh. Great. I feel better about that.

[Brett Vesely]

That's when you actually call Hopkins back. You say he always likes talking on the phone. That's when you call him.

[John Holmberg]

Going into a store, it's the perfect time to call TV's Doug Hopkins. Just have 1-800-sell- now on speed dial. And Doug's gonna be like, jesus, we get crushed every day. About 4:30, everybody. Thanks for answering. I just wanted to. I'm walking past one of those beggars in front of the Walmart. The Walgreens, the cvs, the Safeway, the fries. They're out there and it isn't. That isn't. That's the taking season. It's different. I love that Lerner and Row do events. They have their charity drives and it's an event. It's not them standing outside. You know what would happen if Lerner and Rose stood outside and said, give us money. You guys got tons of money. People get mad at them for some reason. There's certain groups out there that are allowed to beg with the homeless that we can't yell at. Well, I can and I'm doing it.

[Byron]

Remember, they had the celebrities ring the bell every now and then. The news would cover it.

[John Holmberg]

Sheriff Joe, we had to do it that one time. We guys did that. Yeah, but it was at Park Central Mall where no one went and Sheriff Joe was down there and we're standing in the parking lot. This was even worse. And this was right around the time I started thinking, this isn't right. And then the terrorism thing happened to me at the age at the AJ's John Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The 98 KUPD. It's John Holmberg from the morning sickness and football season is in full swing and underdog is the best place to get in on all the action. Playing on underdog is easy. Just pick whether your favorite player is going to go higher or lower on stats like rushing yards, receptions, touchdowns. This week I'm looking at my Steelers and I am selecting Darnell Washington to go higher than one touchdown and hoping that Lamar Jackson goes lower on rushing yards. Download the app today. Sign up with promo code HMS to score a hundred dollars in bonus entries when you play your first $5 underdog make picks win money must be 18 plus, 19 plus in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 plus in Colorado for some games, 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply the assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms. Underscore dfs underscore.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, and Pennsylv. Penny concerned with your play, call 1-800- gambler or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call the 24.7Hope line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text Hope NY 467-369. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. But we stood in the parking lot, and as people pulled in, whether they were shopping or not, Sheriff Joe was standing there with his hand out, stopping cars. And you're like, there's the sheriff of the county. I never thought I'd say that and not be in a Western. Yes, Good. Inside there. Before you go, you should probably put some money in a bucket. Do I have to, or is this, like, a legal thing? Would be great if you did. I think Sheriff Joe's gonna. He's gonna profile me if I don't do this, and he's gonna follow me around and find out that I've got drugs in the car.

[Brett Vesely]

Imagine the poor Mexicans that are pulling in there to shop or something. Terrifying. Whatever you need.

[John Holmberg]

Here you go.

[Byron]

They weren't allowed.

[John Holmberg]

All right, get ice on this guy right here. We're gonna move him out of here. Just damn illegals. But, yeah. So Sheriff Joe stood there with us. We rang the bell while a law enforcement officer falsely stopped cars and extorted money out of them. And they're all like, ha, ha ha ha, Sheriff Joe. I thought I was in trouble. That's the idea. And he was wide open about what he was doing. I'm forcing you to do this. Maybe if you don't do it, I'll get your license plate number. And then they'd laugh. But then everybody looks around like, I don't think he's kidding. Not kidding. He's taking down license plates, numbers, and, you know, it was the most successful thing. Nobody. Nobody got away with it because there was no, like, getting around the first guy. You were in a line to get through the parking lot, and it was just strategically placed where you had to go past this thing in the middle of the parking lot. The gauntlet in your car was in the road. We were just standing in the road. Making people pay us was a toll. It was terrible. And Sheriff Joe, who ended up hating us because his friend raped a sheep. That's a true story. I love that. That's a true story, too. And we made fun of his friend raping a sheep. So he got mad at Us, when we had somebody lick a dog, he liked us that day. Are you guys work over at the kb? No. Good. I didn't think you were homos. Like this was even before it was a homo station. I like that good old fashioned rock and roll. You play Bob Seger? No, we don't. Yeah, I like him. I like Pat Benatar. You like that? No, we don't put him like that. What do you play? I like AC DC and it's oh, hippie Brits. Yeah, give me five bucks. No. This one says, I never feel guilty for not giving. The struggle is part of life. Suck it up, princess. This is from Aiden. He's the one going through transition surgery. She. He's. I'll say it that way. Yeah, you don't have to feel guilty about. That's my point. My rather abrasive and aggressive way of saying don't feel guilted into it and it'll stop. This one says that a grocery store lady asked, are you donating to Jerry's kids? And my response was simple. Jerry never gave to my kids. That was all me. And that's from Showtime. Shave? Yeah, Jerry never. And by the way, the other thing. I've always made this very clear. What was it? 45 years of that Jerry Lewis Telethon. Started off first year or two buying them sticks so they could walk. Last year, the telethon still just buying sticks. I'm not sure they did anything.

[Brett Vesely]

45 years.

[John Holmberg]

$60 million is how much we raised this year. And I'm very proud of us. It's very good. 60 million the next year we need more sticks. Like what happened to last year's sticks. There were that many more kids. We need $60 million worth of sticks again. Well, they use the sticks every day. I wanted everyone to know that these sticks don't last very long. Buy better sticks. Giving you $120 million in two years and you haven't cured a thing. I think I, without any scientific anything in my history could lean into a cure for 120 bucks. Million dollars. We've got 120 million over the last two years. And we bought many sticks and walkers. That's the last thing those kids want. Get closets full of them. Honey, Jerry Lewis is here. He's not doing anything for us. I have sticks for you. Brand new ones. We got them in September. He's just giving us sticks again. There's a great story Gilbert Godfrey used to tell that he was watching Norm because Norm Crosby used to take over for Jerry Lewis in the Middle of that telethon, when Jerry got tired late night, like 2 in the morning, Jerry started going a little weird and his shirt started to come undone. And I'm gonna take a little break and hand it over to Norm Crosby and everybody. You're gonna love the number he has for you. Well, I'm gonna go take a nap. And he would go lay down. And Norm Crosby came out. And Norm always got. Gilbert Godfrey tells a story so great. Norm always had the. The overnight kids that really had it. Like, I mean, they were too scary for prime time. They were not the face of the illness. And I don't remember what song it was, but he's like, hey, you want to sing a little song with me? Oh, I knew. I do remember this song because it was phenomenal. And Norm's like, all right, me and Timmy are gonna sing this song. Is it something strange in your neighborhood? Who you gonna call? Something weird. Norm didn't lose. Didn't miss a beat. But this kid's tongue was out about a foot and a half, like, is that Ghostbusters? And that kid needed a new chair and some sticks. There's a whole group of people lousy clicking around backstage. Are they cured yet? Are we almost done now we need another 60 million. Jesus Christ. 40 years we gave to that thing.

[Byron]

Ed.

[John Holmberg]

Tifpany. Ed. Another 60 million, Jerry. Oh, my God. Are we gonna buy a lot of sticks just like last year? And then everybody got a box of sticks. Who has a kid that needed it? And I bet you they were mad about it. And then all it took was Jerry sand one Tom Brennaman slurp, and they made it so that telethon could only be on for two hours. It went from. Is that what happened? Yeah. You don't remember that? No. In the middle of the night, he got sleepy and called the camera a homo F word.

[Byron]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, My nephew. Well, because it was the first year Jerry had ever seen the cameras were automated. There was no man behind them. So he made them a family. And he said, oh, there's Timmy. He's coming over for dinner, and mom.

[Byron]

And dad are here.

[John Holmberg]

And then, of course, the other camera. And the other camera was kind of pointed down or something, I don't remember. And he goes, oh, that one. He's a. And then like, oh, Jerry can't buy sticks for kids anymore. And suddenly we weren't going to cure the disease. Jerry had to go, and the whole thing went away. One homo effort. Very YouTubeable, by the way. Jerry Lewis says the homo F word. On the telethon. And he's in full. Like, he's out of ideas. Like, 18 hours into this, 24 hours. And he's just trying to. He's riffing, and he. He hits a wall.

[Byron]

I thought he got mad at the technical director. We're like, which camera am I supposed to use?

[John Holmberg]

Joking around the cameras. But the cameras are automated, so we made him robots. And then he said something about the family, and then he started to goof on a guy. He's riffing. He's reaching into the sky, trying to pull down something fun, and he misses. And then he calls little Rickles out, calls the camera a homo. F word, which nobody expected from the nutty professor. And. And then, like, that was ugly. And they're like, we don't want to. We don't want to help the kids anymore if he uses that kind of language. But he did. He was from that generation that used it a lot. It was awesome.

[Byron]

They saved 1.3 million that year.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if they got rid of his salary and there was $1.3 million more of sticks. But then the next year, they raised, like, $80,000. And kids are like, with my sticks, like, you're not getting them anymore. Jerry said the F word. No more sticks for you kids. You just gotta hope that everybody drops a penny in that cup at 7:11. Good luck. Oh, I get. I get you my old sticks. Yep. Click, click, click, click through the house. Every year. Every year around October, brand new. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. They throw the old sticks away. And that kid had to ask Jerry every year, did you cure it? Here's some new sticks. Don't go. You'll never walk alone. Who sticks? Sorry. What a. That kid is. The good news about most of them, they can't bend over, so they can't beef. We'll be right back.

[Byron]

Terrorist with Buddy Hackett.

[John Holmberg]

Buddy's there, Terry's there. They're all saying the homo effort. It's. And, oh, I saw this other thing yesterday. Speaking of kids, they were talking about smartphones. And if you give a kid who's under 12 a smartphone, it's like a 99% chance he's going to be depressed, try to kill himself. That's. That's a fact. That is just true.

[Byron]

That's why we did it earlier.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you give a smartphone to a child before 12, they've found that since. Because 2009 is about when smartphones started to hit the market. So we're 15 years in. You can do studies in 12 years. We've done a. A nice little thing saying, what happened to the kids who got them early? All of them have tried to kill themselves. Like 100. I don't know the true statistic, but it's pretty damn close.

[Byron]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

And then they're like, it stops at 13. When they're 13, they're a little bit more mentally developed. They were all obese. They were all depressed as hell. They were on medicine and they had attention deficit disorder and all this other stuff. And they're like, when did you get them a smartphone? It's like, oh, it was like, seven. Yeah. You made your kid a retard. That's your fault. You did that. Like me. So if you wait till they're 13, the number drops way down, but that's still really high. So you're. Now you're at 50%. And you know what? They never did a study to just say, like, we all get depressed because of our phone. We all have attention deficit disorder because of our phone. They had some sort of weird, you.

[Byron]

Know, when they had back, they had video games, gave them to them younger. They started playing these violent video games. They're all killers, too.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, this one is like, we were kids. Well, no, that was. That was a. It's gonna happen in the music. None of them. But you're saying that when the Catholics started to speculate about that stuff, and it was like, none of this is real. This is an actual, real study that said, this is what's going to happen to your kid if you give him a smartphone. It's like, it. The number's too high to ignore. When they said that thing about, oh, the violence is that. But people would always counter going, the stats aren't there. You just think it's more violent because it's more violent. What you're used to. Smartphones are actually. Well, they make everyone depressed. They make everyone antisocial. They make everyone lazy. It's a fact. All of us. Doesn't matter what age you are. But when you hand them to a kid under the age of 12, the number is astronomical as to how many of those kids. And there's other factors, but that's the biggest one, because kids who didn't have smartphones didn't have it. If they got smartphones when they were like teenagers and stuff, they didn't have half the problems that a kid who got one when he was like five or six or seven, because they could.

[Byron]

Have access to go down certain wormholes too. When they have this.

[John Holmberg]

You know what the phone does it's not the same thing. It does to you. You disappear in it. You become this weirdo. You don't get off the couch. How many people. Raise of hands have sat on the toilet too long and their legs fall asleep because you got stuck into something on your. On your phone?

[Byron]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Every. Every one of us. I was peeing the other day, sitting down, and I'm like, oh, my ass is asleep. What did I do? I was reading about Dua Lipa and her sister. Yeah. They said that as acquired if you got it after the age of 12 or 13, it had a raised risk of mental illness and insufficient sleep. Oh, that was the other thing. The kids can't sleep. They can't sleep anymore. Like, they're like 21 now. They're like, I don't know what's going to sleep like an hour a day. I'm drained. I can't. I'm depressed. I'm harming my. Cutting my legs and affects adults too. Well, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. The UC Berkeley, Columbia, they did independent studies and came up with the exact same thing. Adolescent Brain Cognitive Development study was the largest look at children's brain development in America to this day. Never been done bigger. And they said smartphones were the number one deal if they get one before they hit puberty. And how the parents monitored it. Of the 10,588 participants, 6,700 owned a smartphone. And they were at was it. 51% of children got one when they were under eight years old and were pretty much unmonitored. And they were just like, it is. It ruined them. So if you got a kid and you gave him a smartphone when it was like eight, that one goes in the dumpster, start again, because it's done, it's toast. Columbia said so. In fact, it's probably you probably, as a parent won't admit it, but if you got your kid a smartphone before it was 10, let's say you notice that it's probably a little bit of adult. It's got some social issues, and it's probably a little bit less than, like, fun. It's kind of just a mushy, brainless dope, probably. That's what Columbia tells me. And I've seen a lot of people's kids. You've seen a lot of people's kids?

[Brett Vesely]

I try not to, but.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, when you do, you're like, what's wrong with that one? What is she, like, 13? He's 19 years old. What? He's. He's like 12 or 13. Like he's sitting in there. Mom, mom. Like you're 19. Yeah, I graduated from high school last year. What's wrong with it? He spends all day on that stupid iPad. Oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

Kick him out.

[John Holmberg]

You raised an R word without even having the like. The like what? Everybody would have loved to have a healthy kid, and you made it stupid. We just played problem child. Brett, high five.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Because I'll tell you right now, if I was a parent, I'd have gotten my kid a smartphone, an iPad, a TV at age 3. I don't want you. You don't want.

[Byron]

Young.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how get her young.

[Byron]

Probably. She had a phone when she was 8.

[John Holmberg]

An accessible all things smartphone.

[Brett Vesely]

Smartphone.

[John Holmberg]

She could go anywhere she wanted.

[Byron]

No, there was.

[John Holmberg]

It was regulated by you or by Ronnie. Yeah, yeah, because you'd have let her see everything. Yeah, she'd have been looking at breastfeeding videos with daddy.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, Jesus, look at this.

[Byron]

One's missing.

[John Holmberg]

It put her in the Columbia study and see if it messed her up. And then pat yourself on the back, buddy.

[Byron]

You thought about that even, you know, raising her when she had that little screen in front of her?

[John Holmberg]

That's what. Same thing. But when. With the. Like.

[Byron]

When you go out to dinner and you're like it here.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want you at that certain age. I don't want to deal with it. See? I don't want to deal with the screen. Parents won't admit that, but it's the. I didn't want to bring you here, disappear into this. You think my parents wouldn't have brought a television to a dinner I had to go to when I was a kid? They'd have drug one of those things out with an extension cord that's two miles long. If it was accept acceptable, Kurt Vesley.

[Brett Vesely]

Would have brought a screen, a projector and everything just to shut me up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't want you here. That's what. Every time I see a parent hand a kid an iPad, it's like they're done with them. They don't want them here. They're a. It's an admission. I'm not interested in anything you've got to say here.

[Byron]

Go have that in common.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

They don't want to be there.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, but they're kids. They don't want to be anywhere. They're always bitching about something. They're. You don't want them there. That's the key here. Disappear into this thing. It's a swimming pool of ideas. Go crazy. Next thing you know, comes in handy. You got some wine? Yeah, of course it does. For a parent that doesn't want its kid talking, it's brilliant. But as it turns out, Columbia will let you know, your kids all. And, you know, I think we've seen it, right?

[Brett Vesely]

Columbia for. I mean, come on. It's the obvious.

[John Holmberg]

It's an Ivy League school, for God's sake. But the. The fun part about it, how do.

[Byron]

They get the funding to do that?

[John Holmberg]

Huh? See, Brady's complaining about it because he doesn't want to admit all those kids that Kirby brings home are kind of like, wow, they all act like they're nine. We've seen it. That's why kids. Yeah, kids live at home till they're 30. They're socially unadapted weirdos. I'm always shocked. I meet people with kids that are like, hey, how you doing? I'm like, whoa. Almost every time you talk to him, they're like, yeah, he's not allowed to have, like, that iPad at all. No kidding. Good. You got to teach him to have it. But you got to, like, stay on top of it. It's just not worth it. Or you go the route Brett and I went. Dr. Land. Never have to worry about those studies ever. You can just giggle at other people for having. Anyway, good luck. Looks like Kirby's gonna live at your house till she's 53. Now, that's all right.

[Brett Vesely]

He'd be okay.

[John Holmberg]

He'd be fine with that.

[Byron]

Perfect.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds great.

[Byron]

Save some money.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Byron]

Caretaking.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. For you?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You think she's gonna do that?

[Byron]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She ain't wiping your ass. You're dreaming. That goes for every parent who believes that's true. That ain't happening.

[Byron]

Yeah. The minute she doesn't get out, I'll.

[John Holmberg]

Tell you exactly what's going to happen. You gave her a smartphone, get you out into a home when she was 8. She's gonna go on that smartphone and order up a doctor to wipe your ass. And she's gonna to her YouTube and TikTok videos. Herbert Herbs. Daddy's got poopy legs again. You know, man, I was in the middle of a pretty cool video. I'll be there in a second, man. Next thing you know, you got someone named Manolo in your bedroom. Hello, Mr. Bogan. How are you? Who are you? Manolo. I was hired by your daughter for $19. I'm going to probably inappropriately finger you a couple of times while I wipe.

[Byron]

Just give me my sticks.

[John Holmberg]

That's happening. Let's get a wake up song shall we? 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. Terrorism is out there. Be careful. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Thank you. Miles to nowhere. That's Katie and the Hobbs getting her done for another day for us only. Was there like 10 more shows left for the year? And then we'll have a brand new theme song start in 2026 by whomever wins tonight at Copper Blues downtown. Next to stand up live when we get ourselves a champion for Playdoh this year. And I'm excited about it. We got some good contestants. Still no Bathsheba as far as.

[Brett Vesely]

Still mia.

[John Holmberg]

Still AI.

[Byron]

Not gonna happen.

[John Holmberg]

Mia. AI. Thanks a lot. Positive Nancy screaming Naga. Listen to you. Not gonna happen. It might.

[Byron]

I'm calling her out.

[John Holmberg]

Keep hope alive. We'll see. Toledo's been making the calls. Hit a nerve with the terrorism thing. People are not happy with it. And it's only December 2nd. Said here's the plan. The best invention to get rid of the. Because QR codes made it so the hand pat to your pocket staying sorry, got nothing. Went away. So now you can do it. So do you have AirPods in all the time? Whenever you get out of your car, put them in whether you're listening or not. Make eye contact with no one. Even if you're not listening to music. You can't hear anything. Your music's on. I gotta get better at just the straight out didn't hear it kind of thing. Like I. My head whips around when somebody's like, hey or excuse me. I look so they know I can hear him. I gotta get better at that.

[Brett Vesely]

Thomas Wells it.

[John Holmberg]

You know what. And then there's that. And do I want to go down that road already?

[Byron]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? It is funny.

[Brett Vesely]

You might as well start now.

[John Holmberg]

I did it with my friend Chuck Powell once. We're walking down the street and the guy said because I know Chuck is a. You know. He's very nervous about liberal causes and homelessness and stuff like that. And he's. He doesn't know how to stand against it like he wants to. He wants to be like the shouldn't be. But he's like, oh, if somebody asks I gotta give it to him because I've. He's one of those people that says I've got something So I should have something. I should give it to someone who has nothing, not really knowing why they have nothing. And that's the big thing for me. It's like, if I give you something, you're gonna buy alcohol or drugs. I'll give it to a. A reputable charity, not just some guy on the street. And so we walked by and I pulled the Thomas Wells, I guess. Did you guys get any cash? I'm like, oh, I got plenty of it, but none for you. And Chuck just goes, jesus, why'd you do that? Like, he's a deadbeat. If he. If he knows to walk around where there's people, that tells me one thing. He's got ambition and marketing skills. Put that to better use. If you're willing to walk up and down a street for two or three hours and wave to me, you know two things. How to, you know, be presentable and friendly. That's marketing. And you've got hours to kill during the day. Put that better to better use. And that if I see somebody doing that, I just think, okay, they've got a habit that they need to supply and they can't get a regular job because that habit keeps them from doing it. Drives me nuts, big time. I said this. My wife made me go in at. Oh, that's the. That's the one from Jim. Said I had to go to the Village Inn to get the oxygen tank kit. Village Inn's. Gotcha. It's brutal. Yeah. Everybody was emailing, and I'm like, we gotta stop this. Everything's a scam. I'm not saying everything's a scam. I'm saying that when they're forcing you to do it, we gotta come up with a better way to say, no, thank you. The guilt. That's it. Yeah. Everybody's emailing me their horror stories about all that stuff. It's not. I've been. I've been part of a couple charities. One of them doesn't even exist anymore. That Stroke Association. One's the one I always lean on. We raised $7 million in 2006. Five. 2005. Across the country. Phoenix, we had the biggest one. And they put me in charge of that thing, saying, john's gonna run a marathon, run it with me. And a bunch of people got involved, and then their friends got involved. And we had a team of, I think 117 people come from just Phoenix. And it costs four. Was it 4,200 bucks to get on this again? To raise 4, 200 to be part of the marathon? You got to do it in Kona, Hawaii. And at the end, they're like, phoenix. You. John raised the most. And they were. They had a place here. And the lady. The lady here was like, we're gonna let you host it. And I'm like, I get to. Okay, so we get to Hawaii, and then every city there had at least like 60 people. There were like 40 or 50 cities. Place was packed. I'm like, this is amazing. Go up, host the event, feel great. I got to read a number at the end. So we raised through this endeavor and through the years. It's over $7 million for this event. So give yourselves a round of applause. And everybody's like, wow. They went nuts. I walk off the stage and the lady in charge was like, boy, like, what's wrong? This is a great event. She goes, yeah, we missed our budget by 3 million. Like, you guys are upside down on a 7 million dollar. Like, what?

[Byron]

There's a charity budget?

[John Holmberg]

How the did you do that? This was our big hit. And we. We had it budgeted at like $9.8 million. And I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. And shortly thereafter, they were kind of absorbed by the American Heart Association. And we did it all for the right reason. Everybody was involved. There were stories of people who survived strokes. It was 29 year old. It was beautiful. Tons of them. And I did it three years in a row, like, thinking, we got to make this better. And then after a while, I realized, oh, it's never going to get better. It's not about that. It's about just big numbers that they can pile into your face and then walk away and say, yeah, we wanted more. We've been part of charities before where I dropped off a ton of canned for a box truck full of canned food donations. And the place that I was dropping it off, the leader of that place said, we really could have used the money. Instead, now we've got too much food. Are you kidding me? I'm going to burn your building down.

[Brett Vesely]

I go sell the food then. All right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. Start a grocery store. You're welcome.

[Brett Vesely]

Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

So sometimes you do get punched. That's why I always try to find something that I will give money to and I make sure that it's a good cause. That military assistance mission thing we're doing in a couple weeks up at the Franciscan, everything that you give goes back and you get to see it. That's my thing. I have to see it happening, see.

[Byron]

The families go through.

[John Holmberg]

I have to see the work. I just Got an email from a guy that said, thank you about that, too. Said, I need to thank you for all the. All your help with asking for assistance to the military families. People don't understand how desperate some of these military families can get, especially around this time of year. It goes on and on. He's a proud father. My son being in the usmc, he doesn't need help specifically. He knows a lot of his fellow Marines are coming up on some tough times. The government shutdown really smashed a lot of these people this year, and they got to catch up. We've seen it in action. And again, I was the biggest skeptic in the world with, why is our military asking for donations? Why would their families be in. Truly, they do. They need it. And, man, you go there and you're like, holy smokes. You can go online and check out all we're doing for them, too. It's pretty great. It's. It's an awesome thing. And what they do is. And what Margie, Military assistance mission. She's been. Her story is incredible, and she wanted to make sure that it wasn't one of those, let's just pay everybody that's involved and get attention. It's not what it was about.

[Byron]

So I saw a void.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, in the process, a.

[Byron]

Lot of times of the families needing help, it doesn't come right away.

[John Holmberg]

Well, for this particular situation, she definitely was like, you know, Christmas is a problem for these guys. But she got involved after, you know, she lost family members in, you know, battle, and she just opened her eyes to say, I got to help these other families. And then all these other things started to pop up. She's like, wow, I can do a lot more than I thought. It's amazing. The military assistance mission is a great cause.

[Brett Vesely]

Somebody sent over a link of just the. And Brady and I were talking about a little bit off the air, but somebody sent a link of the CEOs of some of these chairs.

[John Holmberg]

Don't do that, because here's the thing also, those guys have to make some money, but the bigger place gets but 5 million.

[Brett Vesely]

$5.7 million.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's a lot for one of the.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not gonna say but one of the cancer donation places, man.

[John Holmberg]

The We Love Cancer center. Oh, my God. The churning business of cancer. And don't fool yourself.

[Brett Vesely]

7 million.

[John Holmberg]

Cancer's as big a business as it is a disease.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It is a. You know. You know that more than anybody, right? Yeah. You see that and you're like, my God, this is. And it's look for dogs. It's become the medical side of that. So you want and everybody. I just want people to be able to feel free to go. I want to give what's inside my heart rather than force feedback. Some machine. Anyway, I'll get back to all these emails in a second. You're all screaming at me. Then I saw a story about medical breakthroughs and we're just not grown up enough as a society to hear it. They have invented. Calm down, Brett. They've invented butt breathing in Japan. That's right. That's a real thing. Life saving butt breathing.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Wipe that smile off your face. This is a big thing. This. It can help get oxygen to people who can't get oxygen the regular way. Copd. Your blood vessels are shortened by it. And I read the article and again calling it butt breathing is the problem because I'm a child. So the only reason I clicked on this was to see if I could do it today. Like I didn't realize it was an. I thought you can kind of talk your butt into like taking in some air and then I'd be doing it all the time to you guys. So you gotta change the name from butt breathing into, you know, oxygenation via anal something. I. But we'll turn it back into butt breathing. So this beautiful article, this guy named Takanori Takebi, he's a Japanese guy and he's like. But the first art. Even the guy wrote the article, it's a girl says Takanori Takebi is on a mission to find out if people can breathe through their butts. All right, right there. You've tapped into my child like tendencies to laugh at everything. Now he's a stem cell biologist and he spends most of his time developing lab made livers for organ failure. Genius. This guy, he's making phony organs and they're working. So he said when he had his father had pneumonia and had to be put on a ventilator, he said, man, after seeing Covid and this and seeing how ventilators work and how invasive and damaging it is to the body, I had to think to myself, there's gotta be a better way to get oxygen into the body. So we invented this thing. When he took a look at how animals get oxygen through their skin, genitals and sometimes guts. That's right. Some of them breathe through their balls.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Fish. Freshwater fish called loaches swallow air and supplement their gill breathing in low oxygen water.

[Byron]

So they had a clown loach.

[John Holmberg]

Really cool. That sounds interesting. I'M sure he liked watching you masturbate.

[Byron]

You could see him breathe through his.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I bet you he was breathing. I bet he was panting a lot. And I bet his ass was in play. The guy was a gastroenterologist. He's. This is one of the most renowned people in the medical world. And he says he. The intestinal tract that he studies also is rich in blood vessels. That's why enemas deliver medicine so easily to the bloodstream. They'll. You know, that's why you're not supposed to drink through your ass. You ever heard of the people who poured wine in their ass for a while? Remember that?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah. Dipping vodka.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because they were dipping them in tampons and putting them in their butts. And then the blood vessels soak it up because you got more in your intestine than you do in your body. So it says you can pass from your intestines to your bloodstream so it can oxygenate your bloodstream. They invented an enema treatment that sends a liquid through the rectum and then it goes all the way in there, and it's loaded with oxygen. As it releases the oxygen to the body, you can exhale carbon dioxide as you absorb it. They did it with mice and pigs. Enemas was super oxygenated, rich liquid right in their ass, and they were okay. And it kind of negated the need for all this stuff. So I'm reading this saying, all right, it's childlike, but this is pretty amazing stuff from a dude who not only sits in a lab all day and studies gastroenterology, but he also invents organs. And he has computers build organs for people like Brady who need an organ someday. And it's, like, groundbreaking. What do you think? Print out a kidney the first. He's working on that. This is a guy that you don't.

[Byron]

Want to say in five years.

[John Holmberg]

You don't want to discourage the dude who invented butt breathing for medical purposes with art. What's the first comment after the story? Does this mean we can smoke weed through her ass? Next comment. I'm in, buddy.

[Brett Vesely]

Kirby and her friends are texting in with him.

[John Holmberg]

This one says, imagine you can hook up all your friends butts to your hookah, and you got only real bros can pull this off. There isn't a serious comment yet. All. And here's the thing. These people read the story only because of the phrase butt breathing. Rather opt a good option to get drugs into your system.

[Byron]

Those are all doctors.

[John Holmberg]

Highly accused, probably. And then this one says, let's call it boofing. Still haven't seen anything going. What an amazing achievement. There's already butt chugging. This is awesome. The future is now. Then the deuce 75 says, can we reverse fart too? Oh my God. Every inhale and exhale that I have is now going to be a high pitched fart. Will this change my breath? We're not a good enough society to have someone like Mr. Tenakabi working on stuff like this so we can save lives. We're too.

[Brett Vesely]

Just quit.

[John Holmberg]

Just stop. Just stop. Yeah, go to the Circle K with your incredible stem cell research and your gastroenterology and just say, I tried. They're too stupid. When you do stuff like that and you're like, oh, I invent a beautiful program to make it so we could breathe through other parts of our body to save lives. And then you hear, everybody wants to just smoke weed. What exactly are you saving? What? What society are you putting all your energy and effort towards saving? Although I do have to admit, if I was on my deathbed and stuff, and I'm laying there and they're like, you're not getting enough oxygen. We have a solution. What is it, Butt breathing? What? Save your energy. Don't laugh. Stop saying but breathing fact. But breathing is real. And no one marveled at it. When this dude's like, this is pretty. Like, and we just went through Covid five years ago. Everybody was like, you get intubated and that's the end of you. That stuff is horrible. Once you have to get that done, you have to machine breathe for you, help you get oxygen. It's a disaster. And your body never really fully recovers properly. This guy invented a way that we're all better off if something bad happens to us. And all we think about is, can I smoke weed with my ass now? We're not worth saving. And then poor little Japanese doctor came screaming out of the lab, I am going to be hero, win Nobel Prize. What'd you invent? Vaught breathing? Can you smoke weed through your ass now? Never mind.

[Byron]

I hope that's how he found out.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe. But then he'd say it because he's a genius.

[Byron]

I can't say that. That's.

[John Holmberg]

That isn't how he found out. That is incorrect, Brady. He found out because he's a genius. And we look at genius. Thomas Edison never came out and go, behold the light smoke with that. Like the idiots back then were like, they. We marveled at invention. Nowadays we immediately go, how much weed can I stuff in that nobody gets excited about anything. Driverless cars showed up. Not one person stood outside and said, this is amazing. Nobody. We don't care. Can I think now? I can smoke weed while my car drives. You know one good thing, like Tesla. Like the biggest thing that Tesla owners say. Like one of the biggest. I can drink and drive. You're not supposed to still, but I know like four people with Teslas and you ask them all, like, what is the best thing about it? Oh, I can drink and drive. You can read because. Yeah. Oh, you see that on the freeways. I can get home pretty plastered and car gets me there.

[Byron]

Ah.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I mean, it is a benefit. It is. You still have to drive it. I've driven my friend's Tesla before. The thing doesn't stop at red lights. Oh, doesn't? No. Oh, the newer ones do. There's a package you can buy, but his doesn't. And it drives like it's drunk already. Like it hits the brakes, like it can't see it's. I mean. Well, you know what? I will say this. The person whose Tesla I was driving was Asian. So maybe it was just making him comfortable because it was driving crazy his style.

[Brett Vesely]

Wilson's that bad, huh?

[John Holmberg]

Well, he's Asian. Just like this guy who invented butt breathing. He's a butt breathing genius. But I still am not. If we're getting in a car, I'd be like, give me the keys, I'm driving. I am a genius. A gastroenterologist. Stem cell research. Yeah, but you can't drive. I guarantee you're bad driver. It's true. I don't want to test your butt breathing thing when I'm in a hospital bed. Because I let you drive us over to the Circle K and we got into a ten car pile up. We don't marvel at anything anymore. And yes, everyone, you can eventually smoke weed with your ass. I'm glad you found that as the one thing to take from the story.

[Byron]

Put a gummy up there.

[John Holmberg]

Does this. Patrick, you came. Patrick Bray may have come up with the only question that is scientific and also ridiculous. Does that mean I can talk my wife into ass play? And technically it's a bj. Yes, because you've made it her breathing hole. And any breathing hole is a bj. And that goes for tracheotomies and everything. Anything you breathe out of that's a bj. Is Backdoor Bong Loads a good band name? I don't even know why I talk to you people anymore. I'll never. I won't we won't get one comment. $10 says Brady tries to butt breathe with his CPAP tonight.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No. No question. CPAP owners will wonder. That is not how it works. Jason says if it can breathe, it can suck. You're. You're all children. This man spent his entire life trying to make our lives healthier and better, and we just want to stuff weed in it.

[Byron]

Yeah. He comes out with the apparatus.

[John Holmberg]

Now we have an excuse to tell women, I'm just trying to help you breathe when I stick it in your butt. Explain yourself, Matthew. How is. How is jamming an item into the breathing hole helping her breeze? You sons of. If I was that doctor in Japan, I'd go. I'd go to the nearest sushi restaurant and when it's close, and I would become a waiter and be like, I used to try to help humanity, but they just stuffed weed in my invention over and over and over. Bastards.

[Byron]

This the guy invented butt breathing.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, what's up, Tanaki? I make a world better place. I'm Bud Breathing.

[Brett Vesely]

Anal asphyxiation. Good band name.

[John Holmberg]

Anal asphyxiation is a great band name. It's a fantastic band name. Ass Choke out. I go with that. Bottom line is we are no longer at all a society that deserves nice things. We just don't. Said. I'm sitting in my car laughing like Butthead. God damn it, John, you said butt breathing. Yeah. I'm just gonna smoke weed from our asses. We're all Beavis and Butthead. The guy we need to be laughing at, and he is getting a ton of credit, is the dude that did the Goliath Expedition is almost done. Do you know how many years it took? Do you know what the Goliath Expedition is? Goliath Expedition is a dude who walks from the tip of South America to Romania, through America, Alaska, without car, bike, train, or plane. He walks 30,000 miles, essentially, is what he's doing.

[Byron]

It's his life. And how many people have done it?

[John Holmberg]

Two have tried it. He's the only one that's. You know how long it took him? 27 years. He's been doing this for 27 years. And he's finishing up now and.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds terrible.

[John Holmberg]

It's horrible. You end up in Romania. So you go. You. Tip of the tip of South America. You walk all the way up South America, walk up, well, Central, then Mexico, then you sneak into the United States, I guess, and then you walk up the US and you go into Canada, Walk up that, across Alaska. You get to where Alaska and Russia Just almost touch. And you figure out a way to get to that. And there's no boats. So I'm. He might have swum, swam, whatever. However you get to that next aisle and he's on a rush and he bounces from here to there.

[Byron]

All.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't do anything.

[Brett Vesely]

So, yes.

[Byron]

Iceberg hop.

[Brett Vesely]

What's the point?

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty close. It's actually. You can. You can. You can roll out one of the military bridges and get from Russia to America.

[Byron]

What's the point?

[John Holmberg]

To say I did the Goliath expert, but nobody got to know you. The point being no one got to know you for 27 years. You don't have any friends to go home and go, did you finish that thing? You haven't seen anybody for a quarter of a century on a consistent basis.

[Brett Vesely]

Stupid.

[John Holmberg]

You go home alone. There's no point other than to be the guy that did it. And now he's got to figure out life at age 50. He's been at this since he was 27. It's half his life. And he goes, he's 53 or 54 now. And he's like, well, I'm done. I guess I'll go home to my. When my parents are. They're still alive. Nope. Both gone. Brother and sister. They forgot you. They haven't talked to you for 27 years. Okay, well, I guess I don't have any new friends. I gotta. You just gotta start life all over.

[Brett Vesely]

For what?

[John Holmberg]

So I can tell you. Hey. Hi. I'm John. I. What do you do? I just finished the Goliath Expedition. I explained it. You're like, wow, that's amazing. And then you turn to the next guy who goes, you hear about butt breathing. And that's a better conversation.

[Brett Vesely]

Smoke weed in your butt, bro.

[John Holmberg]

And this guy's standing there looking at like, I, I. What I've done is more impressive than going to the moon. Why are you guys talking about butt breathing? Because it's hilarious. Your stories are dumb. And he'd be out there. I met an Inuit family that took me in, and I had whale blubber. I smoke weed through my ass. Okay, listen to me. I'm more important. The Goliath Expedition, his name is Carl Bushby. He started in Puentes Arenas in Chile in 1998, back in the Clinton administration.

[Brett Vesely]

How many things have happened since 1998?

[John Holmberg]

And that's the reason it took him so long. There's a bunch of developments. He'd get to a place and there'd be like a war or A skirmish or something.

[Byron]

And in Russia he was given a visa. He had to do the Russian part in 90 days.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he did a stroke. Well, because he was going to be in Russia. He was going to be in Russia for years. Russia is 12 time zones. It's four Americas. Think about that. It's huge. And he had to walk across it and a lot of it's mountainous and all that. He. It was years to get across there and then dropped down into Romania is where he finished. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Rand makes a good point out for 27 years there is no home. Now what you're broken, stuck in Romania.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta write a book and you gotta find a place to get that started. His goal was to get it done in eight years. Whoops. Took a little longer. Just a bit outside, a bit out. Yeah. He didn't quite make the eight year window. But after eight years he's like, well I'm about a quarter of the way through. I guess I'll finish up. Made it through almost a third of it in the eight year time. But my God, it's just walking all the way across the earth.

[Byron]

So he hasn't finished?

[John Holmberg]

No, he's not done yet. He's getting there. September of 2026, he's got a window. He's nine months away. I mean that's pretty much finished. Can we give him.

[Byron]

He's got to make it to hall England.

[John Holmberg]

Can we give it to him?

[Byron]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Why? Nobody else has done this.

[Byron]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

Good enough. Dude, you already went 30,000 miles. You want to get to 32,000? You're good here. We appreciate you. That's enough.

[Byron]

He was the guy that came up with the Goliath begin with a moron.

[John Holmberg]

The first dude that noticed that Alaska touches Russia went, you know, you could walk this. And Pangea people, people who still talk about Pangea like it's something we're close to. He used to be able to walk all the way across. It was all one big piece of land. Say. Well, it's not anymore. And again, his story's probably amazing. I'm not going to read a book about it. No.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm Jay Cutler on this.

[John Holmberg]

What if he's a bad.

[Byron]

Don't care.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, what if he's a bad writer and all of this is just a sloppy story he tells at the end. Be the worst. If at the end even he realizes these stories aren't very good. And he was. It was before the Internet really got going. He started walking and all his friends had to go like, dude, we hate you. You're not gonna. You'll be back in a couple weeks. He's like, I'll show you. What woman did he do this for? And the worst part is he was trying to probably impress abroad, who was 25. She's 52 now. He's gonna go back and go, I did it for you. And she'll be like, huh, I'm sorry I got fat while you were gone. Did they all get fat? Yeah, they did. You're the only one that stayed skinny because you wouldn't sit down.

[Byron]

He's the inventor of it. The Fat of the Goliath expedition.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. He's the guy who came up with the idea. And then a couple people tried it while he was doing it, and they quit, like, a day or two into it, like, oh, Jesus. Walking sucks. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. You ever tried to walk like camel? We did the trails together, three of them.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

One day we did North Mountain, Squaw Peak. It used to be called that. And camelback in one day. That was enough. The next day sucked.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I was.

[John Holmberg]

And what did we walk? A couple miles.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It was really.

[Brett Vesely]

That was one day. This clown did it for 27 years.

[John Holmberg]

Now imagine we do that every day for 27 years. And you know what that would amount to? Let's say we did five miles. I don't even know how to do the math. It wouldn't amount to much of nothing except for people going, why are you doing this? And you're walking through the cruddiest parts. It's not like you get to walk to Hawaii or any of the islands he walked. You know, the coast of South America is probably pretty nice. And then you get any but Mexico.

[Byron]

Look.

[John Holmberg]

And then, you know, the worst parts of California. And then you get up to the nicer parts. Oregon's probably nice. Canada's okay. Gets cold.

[Byron]

Oh, to cross over the one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

While it's frozen. That's the only time you can.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta angle up to Alaska. You can't just go down the coastline and walk the edge. You got to kind of angle up an end. And that gets really cold as you go north. Then walk across Russia. It's never nice in Russia. I've never seen one video of Russia in a sunny day. It always looks like it's winter in Russia. Never. When's the last time you saw Russia? Went well. Looks like a. A beautiful day.

[Byron]

I gotta get there.

[John Holmberg]

Whenever Vladimir's on tv, it's cloudy and it's not because of him.

[Brett Vesely]

Is his real name David Banner by any chance?

[John Holmberg]

He's the Incredible Hog. He's just walking. Says, is it me or does it sound more fun to dive to the Titanic on a homemade sub than walking for 27 years? 100 if you're gonna do. At least one has an ending that people care about. They'll try to make a documentary pop. Think of that though. The cost of the documentary is going to be 27 years worth. You got to have people in all sorts of guys quitting like crazy. Retiring. I was your videographer for a while, but I'm 58 now. I'm going to retire early. Here's your film. Son's got to go home and edit his own document. It's going to be terrible.

[Byron]

You find out he stopped in pause for about four years in one place.

[John Holmberg]

Probably 27 years. He had a conflict for a while that he couldn't get around in a couple of places that he had to stay. And like there was like big trouble. So that's why I did. Went from eight year plan to 27. Brutal. Just terribly stupid.

[Byron]

Married four times.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe met a nice lady, settled down with her for a second. Does it count? And you know what's going to be the worst part? Is when some jackass. Because we can't have nice things at all, we can't even give this guy credit for doing most of it. Somebody goes, I gave him a ride. He like, he did 30 miles in my car. And they'll be like, it's negated you. You. It's not.

[Byron]

He was in a snow cat for.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. He got a little help. At one point a guy goes, you know, I have a prop plane. We can get right through this. Like, yeah. Would you tell anybody, hey, buddy. No, of course. I won't say a word. They'll get you across. Nobody's ever going to hear of you anyway. You're going to be eaten by bears. And then you see on the news he's finishing. I thought he'd be eaten by bears. I'm telling everyone I flew him from Manuscic to Mishnichkick. Our cities are just sound. I got on prop plane. I fly him.

[Byron]

For a pair of blue jeans.

[John Holmberg]

He gave me blue jeans. I give him plane ride. He's a fraud. Not a fraud. Just one plane ride. I still walk 30,000 miles. 30,000 minus 80. Okay, let's not be crazy. So yeah, this poor bastard, somebody's going to rat him out because the world rats out someone in Peru. Gave him right early on, probably. It wasn't even, like, later. He's like, I can't do that again. I can. I can never cheat again. So he's probably some hitching. He was down there in, like, Peru, and it got a little like the elevation got up there and he started breathing funny. I give you, right? You had light. Yeah. I need a ride out of this. It's Machu Picchu. Place is a.

[Byron]

Your nose is bleeding.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Is it. You need to ride. I do need a ride. Okay. Giddy. And then that guy's gonna rat him out 22 years ago. I give him.

[Byron]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

He frowned. Not a fraud, but we don't marvel at anything. That's a marvelous achievement. Even if you made it halfway, I'd be like, jesus Christ, that's crazy. 15,000 miles, that's pretty good. You're going for 30, but hey, I got to give it to you. 15 is a pretty good place to stop. Amelia Earhart couldn't fly a plane without crashing. This dude walked it. He should get some credit, but I don't want to hear his story. He's got too many stories. 27 years worth. And he's probably a chatterbox because he hadn't talked to anybody for a long time or.

[Byron]

Yeah, or there's people that joined him. Had to have.

[John Holmberg]

Think of that. If I. If I dropped you on the planet and the last time I saw you was 1997, what you been up to?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What have you been doing? Well, you try to start telling me stories, I'm like, jesus Christ. It never ends with this guy. He's got too many stories.

[Byron]

You ever been to. Yes. Never been to a.

[John Holmberg]

Ever been to Africa? No, I skipped Africa.

[Byron]

Did you really walk the Earth then?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, I didn't want to get killed. Risked it with the bears up in Russia, but Africa's horrifying. You ever been to a Turkish prison? Yeah. Yes. My wife and I were in Paris last year. Have you ever been. I walked it. Dumb. We got through most of everything in about two and a half weeks. I was there for four years, just walking around, lazy. Anyway, we're gonna go breathe some stuff through our ass. It's terrible, and I wish we were better, but we're not. So the Goliath Expedition, and now some other idiots gonna do it and, you know, try to break the 27 year mark. And that's the record. I said, my guess is that guy got married and about two days later said, you know what? I'm going for a walk. What if It's Toledo's dad. That makes a lot of sense. I need milk. I'm gonna go for a walk. Then he pops up 27 years later. Is the boy dead yet? No, he's doing well. Damn it. This guy says 30,000 miles in 27 years. Comes out to about three miles a day. I think I've traveled more than that.

[Brett Vesely]

Guy in the last 27 miles thinking about that. Yeah. That's ridiculous.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how to do math that fast, Kyle. But if that's accurate, this dude sucks. Every time I play basketball in the backyard, I keep my phone in my pocket and I have my own little games. And then I look at the end. I'm averaging about five miles a day just running around in the backyard. But, you know, it's just on a basketball court. I'm not getting five miles from home to the five mile mark. But I feel pretty good about that. So in 27 years, if I do that pretty much every day, I've gone around the world a couple of times. I think that's bad. I hope that math is wrong for his sake. So if you're thinking about it, don't. It's not.

[Brett Vesely]

Jane from Kung Fu is just walking the earth.

[John Holmberg]

I'd be more impressed if you, like, did a motorcycle ride across that. That would be. Hey, that's pretty neat. And it would only take a couple years and you get good stories that way and you get done with it.

[Byron]

Yeah, I think I'd burn out pretty quick.

[John Holmberg]

Brady. When we started this show here in Phoenix.

[Byron]

Gotta go to flag.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he was. If I walked to Flagstaff, I'd kill everyone in Flagstaff. When I got there, I just opened fire. Like, I'm mise. Our show started three years after that dude got. He was like. He was like, let's see, about 130 miles from his starting point. Guy had walked. He'd walked from here to like maybe Page.

[Byron]

And we're still not done.

[John Holmberg]

And he's still not quite finished. What's gonna finish first, this show or that guy? Hopefully us. Yeah. Who paid for this? Was it. Is that why those people. It goes back to terrorism? Is that why we're getting the bells rung? Are they raising money to get this guy from A to B? Who's paying for this? And he's got no retirement. He's gonna have to start walking again.

[Byron]

He's got his military money coming in.

[John Holmberg]

Is he a military guy? Yeah, man.

[Byron]

This.

[Brett Vesely]

That. That clown's been walking longer than this show's been on.

[John Holmberg]

The air? Yeah, yeah, by three years and he's not done. What if he was listening to us the whole time? I just kept him walking. Mender says, that's even more impressive that you guys, that this guy did that. Then you have a deaf guy that somehow discovered your show. Mender, the blind guy. We were talking about our deaf listener Joshua, who hit us yesterday with the idea that this show is transcribed somehow on his phone and he gets to read it every day. Is this him?

[Listener/Caller]

No, that's transcript of yesterday, part of yesterday's show.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you printed out some of the transcript. So it doesn't give him the full.

[Listener/Caller]

Doesn't say who it does.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't tell you who's talking. The transcript just says, Ellen's got nice skin for a six year old woman. And Portia de Rossi, that wife of hers, is even better. So they start talking about Ellen's new product and I'm like, you know what, let's give that a try. Ugly broads with good skin probably sell a better product. I'm writing a book. This is great reading. And then I say, it's salmon sperm. First off, I didn't know salmon did that. Second, how do you get that? Third, who's the dude who put this on his face and said, I think it's working. And this one says, why would you have ever been under. Or it says, and then you said something that didn't transcribe you saying, have you ever seen a salmon spray his eggs? And I said, why would I have ever seen that? Clouded. Yeah. Okay, well, anyway, no differentiation of who's doing it. That's how this guy reads our show and he loves it.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

And who told the deaf guy, you should listen to this? He's like, well, I can't wait, no radio. You should read it then, like, why was he even interested in the radio? Why would a deaf guy go, what's on the radio? But he found us. Did he go deaf? Wow. I need all the answers I can get. Just doesn't make any sense. He emails and talks about the show with me that he read yesterday. He's a day behind because he's reading it. Does that count towards ratings? That's got to count. That's got to count.

[Byron]

Like that should get a super tone.

[John Holmberg]

Like a hundred thousand people. It should count as if we've got one. If we're so powerful that we converted a deaf deaf person to a non visual medium as his entertainment. Come on, that's amazing. Charlie was deaf, but he had hearing aids. This Guy is fully like, can't hear, has to read the show. Who told him? Dude, are you listening? Like who grabbed his hand with the Ellen Keller things you gotta listen to. Does he read lips? Still no help here. But he's our deaf listener and he's impressive. More so than the 27 year walking guy, as he has been dubbed by Alan Tuberville, Walking douche. This one says, John, there's a part of this says he didn't walk the entire 27 years. He'd walk for weeks at a time and then fly home for a little while and then fly back and start where he left off. Just wasted his life. That is a waste of life. And if you fly back, you're starting over.

[Byron]

I'm going to put two months in.

[John Holmberg]

You can't pause the clock on that. It's a non stop deal.

[Byron]

I think you can.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't. Now it doesn't count at all because now that's the same as what Kyle was saying. Well, I've walked 30,000 miles, just not in a line. Be nice.

[Brett Vesely]

It's Thriller's dad. That's why it took so long.

[John Holmberg]

Let's see if we can get Thriller on a Goliath Expedition of his own and just get him to walk to the Circle k up on McDowell and 52nd street, grab us some Cokes and come back. How long do you think the Thriller Goliath Expedition would take?

[Brett Vesely]

Look how long it took him in a car.

[John Holmberg]

Christ sake. How long it would take Thriller to walk from here. I bet you it would take a full day for Thriller to get us coaxed and get back here. The Goliath Expedition for Thriller is happening in 2026. It's a thing. And we'll put times on it where if he gets back in this amount of time, we'll give him a thousand dollars. If he gets back in this amount of time, we give him like five grand. I'm putting first first. It's at least 10 hours to get Thriller to walk all the way to that Circle K and back. He wears out real easy and he falls down a lot. Hilarious. And then you guys, you listeners have to drive by and try to coax him into cheat rides or getting on the handlebars or something. Look for that in 2026. The thriller Goliath Expedition is coming and it's just, I can see where he's got to end up and. But he's got to come back. That is literally the 30,000 miles. I'm going to pick it on a rainy day.

[Byron]

The wrong one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. I swear to God, if he comes back with regular coke. Doesn't count. He's got to do it again. I bet you he'd do it. I'm just walking to his car and stuff takes a long time.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh man, does it ever.

[Byron]

It gets out there pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Byron]

When you put the music on.

[John Holmberg]

Well when you play the music it gets pretty fun pace so it kills a lot of time. But you can get through the whole six minute song. Yeah, you can get through almost the whole song. I can get to my car before Michael starts singing. We're into the second verse. By the time Thriller's in his ride.

[Byron]

Oh yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Vincent Price is laughing. By the time he makes it to the door.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, if he walks to his car and back. You're here in Vincent's park. Oh yeah. Darkness falls across the air. And then as he's coming in. Yeah, this is the. We've got it at a minute 51. I bet you to his car and back. He. This, this runs out. There's no way. And he has to have that in his earbuds the whole time he's walking just on a loop. Maybe it'll keep him up on like a beats per minute. The Thriller Goliath Expedition is happening.

[Byron]

Should we get Annie doming down there to make. Make him up on the wall.

[John Holmberg]

We can have Annie come down and do Thriller makeup too. The Goliath exposure.

[Brett Vesely]

Gotta teach him to do the dance though too.

[John Holmberg]

Well he doesn't need to do that. He does it on his own.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's do this.

[John Holmberg]

Look, all we have to do is turn them sideways and throw the hands in the air. Maybe get a couple of little hands. Yeah, you got to get the move for the most part. His legs are already doing it. I'm all over it. It's 7:28. Tonight we're doing our glorious Palladio live band battle. All the finalists for Palladio that were which we tried to do it last Tuesday but none of the bands could get together. Two of them were sick. A couple of more out of town.

[Brett Vesely]

We wanted to broke up 20 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

One of them. One of them hasn't been a band since the Goliath Expedition started. But yeah, so we got our. We got them set up. We got a good group that's going to meet out tonight. John Gordon's band which surprised us with an entry. They're in it. They're really good. And hopefully DJ Bathsheba the Alchemist will.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't think that's gonna happen.

[John Holmberg]

I don't, I don't want to put any more negativity on it, Brett. I think we can talk her into it with a little sugar.

[Brett Vesely]

Wish we can get Sanjay to get back from Lithuania.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that was one. Well, we'll see. Whatever we get, we get and it's going to be great. So we're very excited about that. That's happening tonight at Copper Blues downtown. Get going about 6:30. So if you want to get there a little earlier and everything else, I want everybody to have to like drop off a couple bucks on the way in if they feel like it. There's a Humane society thing which we all love and be part of. And again, before we get on any further, speaking of my love of dogs, one of our regular listeners and a guy I've known since junior high name Cranston Munger lost his puppet last night. So cookies all abound for his French bulldog Darla, who he had to let go on Thanksgiving weekend. That's no fun either. So to Darla, everybody. Hug your pets, get a little love. One of our own has fallen after a hell of a run. That's how we run it. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats today?

[Brett Vesely]

Wake up. Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. Going up north doing some skiing, snowboarding or hitting the trails. Action Ride Shop is your place to be. Want to do the mountain bike thing? Well, they got taken care of you in both locations. The OG right there on Gilbert Road, Southern, and of course the brand new one on power Road and McDowell right off the Hawes trailhead. And snow skiing and snowboarding is your thing. Well, Action Ride Shop right there on Gilbert Road and Southern is going to take care of you. Boards, binding skis, you name it, they got it. It is Action Ride Shop. Check them out online. ActionRideshop.com on the list for the charities. Ugly kid Joe, I hate everything about you. Suicidal tendencies. Send me your money, Hemlock. Kill your children, Primus, Megadeth, Metallica, Avenge Sevenfold, Lincoln park soil, Chili Peppers, Megadeth, Liar. For the Goliath guy.

[John Holmberg]

They're calling him out. You don't think he's done it at all? I like that. I don't want to hear Megadeth though.

[Byron]

It is completely on the honor system.

[John Holmberg]

Got a Megan 911 happening as we speak. Oh, what's the sign in for DirecTV? I'm not doing anything. Let me help you with that. It's called a job. I, I have to go to it every once in a while. But let me make sure you get your Channel 3 news in this morning. And I just sent it to her. Oh, yeah, because I just told her what all our new passwords are.

[Brett Vesely]

You changed them all?

[John Holmberg]

I changed all of them.

[Brett Vesely]

Why did you do that?

[John Holmberg]

Because it's easier the way I did it.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay?

[John Holmberg]

I can't. I'll tell you off the air, okay? But it's awesome. And I figured it out, and I'm like, oh, even if they change it, this gets better and better every time because I've got a plan. And then I change all my passwords to the same exact password with one drastic change in the middle of it. And each one identifies the thing I'm getting a password for. I'll never forget a password again. And I can't tell you what it is because it's mine. It's mine. Good luck, hackers. It's got Spanish in it. Awesome. Anyway, sorry. Hey, stop doing whatever that silly crap you do is. What's the DirecTV sign in? Oh, is your day started busy? Okay, yeah, let me just put everything down. Let me just shut her down. This is what Megan needed help. I'm sorry, everybody. She can't figure. She told me that the other day. She goes, I don't know how to do any of that. The Internet went down at the house. This happens to me all the time. I'm like, no, it's different. We have router connection. Like, I think it's an actual Internet issue. I don't think it's us. No, it's us. It's happening. It's all the time. You don't know. I deal with this all the time. All right, fine. So I sit on the couch. Oh, this is different. Is it then? Yeah, no, this is. Evidently, this is an Internet thing. Oh, is that right? Okay, well, I guess my words. I might as well just smash them into a wall with my face when I talk. Now you said something completely. Just admit you were wrong and shut up. Broads, Broads. I'll text John. He's not busy with anything except for providing it all. Oh, yeah, that's it.

[Brett Vesely]

Tell her you got nothing else going on right now.

[John Holmberg]

I got nothing to do. Full provisions can wait. What's the correct TV password?

[Byron]

He's in the middle of a Goliath expedition.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, hang on. My wife's text me. She doesn't know the password of Netflix. She wants to watch Stranger Things 5. You're in the middle of the Goliath expedition. You know what never happens? You know what never happens? I was watching the Steelers, and maybe it did. Aaron Rodgers never goes time out and gets a phone. Goes, wife forgot the password to DirecTV. Let me take a break here for a second from working, but would you.

[Byron]

Put it past a wife?

[John Holmberg]

No. She would text Aaron Rodgers. This happening again. You're always out of town when this happens. Okay, well, I play for the Steelers, and you live in Green Bay, so it's gonna be tough for me to always be in town.

[Byron]

Collins.

[Brett Vesely]

Worth trying to stretch through that.

[John Holmberg]

Here's a guy, his wife just text him and needs the DirecTV password. I tell you, Al, ever since YouTube dropped channel three, it's been a happ. Got to pay for two. Come on, Black Al.

[Byron]

So if there's an emergency, you wouldn't stop the game.

[John Holmberg]

Here's a handoff to Jaylen Warren. Always fumbling because he's texting the password to directv to his wife. Ah. Right in the middle of a play. Of course she needed that password. That was important. So. Well, and you know what? I. I'm predicting it right now.

[Byron]

Scotty Scheffler to sink the pot to win the US Open.

[John Holmberg]

Was one. Arming the pot as he texts his wife the new password to Netflix. I guarantee in a few seconds, I'm in. Another one didn't work. It's a capital F. It's a capital F. I want to tell you guys my password so bad.

[Brett Vesely]

Just.

[John Holmberg]

Just do it this way.

[Brett Vesely]

You're gonna have to change it again. Then you're gonna have to tell her again. Don't. No, no. Wait till you're out.

[John Holmberg]

It's long. This, isn't it. But it basically says F words involved. Oh, there's a C word involved.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, thanks.

[John Holmberg]

It's essentially a phrase that basically says, hey, and in this case, DirecTV. Megan's a C word. It's awesome. Exclamation point, right? Yeah. Yeah. So when I text that, like. But that's not what it is, but it's pretty darn close to that. Ow. You made all our passwords hate me. Yeah. Hey, Netflix. Megan's a C word.

[Byron]

One.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. One and then two. And here's the guy who's got passwords figured out. And, you know, he missed the blitz. Bosa came around the end, and it looks like the left tackle is just texting. Must be his wife needing a password. Bothering people at work. Watch a lot of Mad Men anytime. January Jones called. Jon Ham. What do you want? Like, he was mad. Everything. Wife's online. One. What is it? I'm working bets. Click my Favorite moment in Mad Men reruns that I'm watching again. They went on a picnic as a family. And there's subtle little moments that remind you. It's like 1969, 1970. And I never grew up in that time. But it didn't change until the 90s because I remember this. My family doing this at Allegheny State Park. We laid a blanket down. Beautiful park, by the way. It's in New York, Pennsylvania border. It's gorgeous. And we're there. It's perfect day. My dad's running around in 1970 swim trunks. I didn't even know if there was water. But he was really proud of how big he was at that time. But his pants were so small. The family pictures are hilarious. We're all eating, you know, we got food, packaged foods and wrappers and things like that. Putting it on the blanket. And when we left, we just moved the picnic basket in the cooler over and my mom lifted the blanket and just whipped off all the trash and weed and took off. That's what you used to do.

[Brett Vesely]

Iron Eye Cody was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's. Well, that's why Iron Eye Cody was a commercial. We weren't the only ones. But that back in the 70s was when you just get rid of those garbage. I'm not taking this into the car. And we left on Mad Men. They were at a park and a picnic. And January Jones says, okay, let's go. And everybody gets up and Don Draper takes the things they need. She just whips all the trash into the grass, pulls the blanket and walks to the car. And they all got in and I died laughing. I'm like, that was my family. We'd pick up huge stuff. But rappers. I was told by my grandpa to chuck stuff out the window. I'll get that in my car. Like a.

[Byron]

Used to have signs all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Like a bag of trash every once in a while. Sure. Don't litter was a suggestion. I mean, no. U turn is a sign. I ignore those too.

[Byron]

When you'd see the sign and there's piles. Try to hit it.

[John Holmberg]

You'd throw things at it.

[Brett Vesely]

You remember at the river, they used to have those bottle where the targets on the side of the thing where you throw your bottles at it and stuff like that way back in the day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Broken glass all over the place. And it's morons missing and.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, it was. Yeah, we didn't. Littering was a thing. And then in the 90s, we're like, this is bad. We shouldn't do that. Iron Ice Cody Was the reason that commercial happened with the crying Indian is because nobody threw anything out properly. We thought about it. Somebody will get to it. And we just assumed there was a guy in like, a jumpsuit with a stick with a pokey on the end of it that would come get our garbage later. Times are better than it was a better time. That's why I watched Mad Men.

[Brett Vesely]

Great. Again.

[John Holmberg]

This is pretty good.

[Byron]

Now they just sweep it and make massive mounds of it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Out of anyone's.

[John Holmberg]

The same thing. They invented leaf blowers. Leaf blowers are no different than just whipping your blanket around. You're just blowing your leaves into making them somebody else's problem anyway. Pick a song, Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, you know, I'm gonna pick the suicidal. Send me your money for all the charities.

[John Holmberg]

Go crazy.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

I don't mind that. Suicidal is never awful. And then you watch that Christina Hendricks walking around in there and you realize, my God, whoever cast this show found people with the most beautiful faces you've ever seen. She is just. And nobody. She doesn't look nearly as good in modern times as she does in those 60s clothes. Same with January Jones. Like, man, women on that show dressed up in 60s gear make you want the 60s to come back. And I hate the 60s. They're full of hippies and weirdos. But they weren't dressed as hippies and weirdos. They were like the classy 60s people. They're gorgeous. But it's quite a lovely. It's. It is some of the stuff you watch. That's how we all. Oh, and then she. Betsy, the driver. She's driving their big boat car that they had.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And she had to stop fast. And the kids in the back seat. Just your clues. And she looks back and they're gone. And she gets out and looks. And they're down in between the seat. In the front seat, laughing. She goes, are you kids okay? We hit the seat. Go. Thank God. Get back in there. No seat belts. It was awesome. It's a better time. It was a better time. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny. Morning sickness. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? That doesn't mean we're on time or anything. Just sounds good when I say it. And it's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only he knows. Before that, a little Christmas spirit. I just got an email from Jim Lord. Says I own a sea construction company general and electrical contractor. Specializes in roofing. But do anything anyway. I typically don't go out on the field or carry stuff, but yesterday my guys needed a 24 foot extension ladder and I said I deliver it to them in my personal truck. I have a bed extender. I put it on there and stupidly tied the ladder to the extender with a bungee cord thinking I'm only going for a couple miles. This won't be a big deal. Needless to say, the ladder came off on the on ramp I17 and Northern going south. I couldn't stop and get it. I had to turn around the long way. By the time I got back, it was neatly stacked in the Gore point along with a roller magnet. I didn't realize that had fallen out. Only thing I could think of, there was a large truck behind me and the guys inside must have been Christmas elves. As the total the equipment is probably worth about 500 bucks. I'm betting they listen to you. And I wanted to thank them. So I'm donating 500 today to Lost our home pet rescue. Wow. In their honor. And I don't even know them. I planned between. I had planned between Bethany home on my way back to Northern that I was going to go pick up the smashed ladder. But since it was all intact, I figured my stupidity plus this person being cool must be repaid in some way. So Jim's handed money over to a charity for the kind little elves that made it. So his. His stupid ladder problem.

[Brett Vesely]

That Jim Manley?

[John Holmberg]

No. What? I wonder if Jim Manley's the one who stacked the ladder though. He probably was. Jim Manley probably woke up from a dead sleep. Jim Lord's in trouble and I have to help. And he drove to the ladder and he put it to the side. Or he bought a new ladder and placed it over there and jumps his.

[Brett Vesely]

Phone booth, changes into his outfit and.

[Byron]

A red bow on it.

[John Holmberg]

It's nice, man. Maybe let's say that Jim Manley was the guy driving the truck that fixed Jim Lord's dumb problem. And Jim, you know better than that. Strapping 24 foot ladders in a personal truck with bungee cords.

[Byron]

The Lord never makes mistakes.

[John Holmberg]

Well, not Jim Lord. The Lord Lord makes loads of them crazy. So there. It's a nice little story. Nice little Christmas story. Nobody got hurt. You didn't hear about it. Dudes got out, put the ladder to the side. A roller magnet. You just had that bat. That thing was just a treasure trove of garbage you had floating around back there. Jim, you say you run that company. Act like it there. He's been admonished, but that's excellent. Thank you for doing that. And that's a nice thing to do. See, comes from the heart. Feel like you got to pay it back a little bit. That's pretty nice. It is time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our friends at allpro shade allprochade.com Great holiday thing to do as you got people coming over and do everything else. It's going to be 70 degrees every single day of this week, which is phenomenal. And you can sit outside under the shade. You got grandma coming in from Michigan and and your aunts and uncles coming all over from the Midwest and they need some shade. It's hot at 70 degrees today. Get an all Pro shade thing put up on your house. It's better than umbrellas. Trust me on that one. A lot better than umbrellas, which are just a pain in the ass to put up and down. And they'll put themselves up and down. The motorized ones do it when they sense wind or bad weather or whatever else. They suck themselves back into their little containers on the side of your house which do not look obtrusive or awful. They look like they're supposed to be there. They do the best work. They've been around for over 20 years. And that's why all prochade.com go there now. Brady reported.

[Byron]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Byron]

Happy National Skip School Day, National Fritter Day, National Bartender Day and Giving Tuesday.

[Brett Vesely]

Give to your bartenders. You know what?

[John Holmberg]

Go to Local Legends and drop off for Operation Santa Claus.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

There's no force. There's nobody there making you feel guilty. Just drop off inside of Local Legends. Then you're taking care of the bartenders at the bar. You knock out a couple of things that's nice. Giving Tuesday Bartender Day.

[Brett Vesely]

All three in one shot.

[John Holmberg]

Have a fritter along the way and ditch school.

[Byron]

Couple of basis fun facts. A struggling poet named Eliza Acton wrote the very first modern cookbook in 1845, introducing the concept of listing ingredients, their quantities and cooking times for common use and home kitchens. The book was called Modern Cookery for Private Families. It featured the first recipes in English for Brussels sprouts spaghetti.

[John Holmberg]

Are there public families?

[Byron]

And Christmas pudding, which is basically plum pudding.

[Brett Vesely]

Plum pudding. Never had that.

[Byron]

Never had it either.

[John Holmberg]

I've heard about it.

[Byron]

At least 8 out of 10Americans don't allow smoking in Their homes. That's double from what it was 30 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Byron]

The states with the highest percentage of adult smokers, West Virginia, number one, 25%.

[Brett Vesely]

Chicago's got to be up.

[John Holmberg]

Midwest smokes still.

[Byron]

Kentucky's 23.4%.

[John Holmberg]

Hillbillies love it.

[Byron]

The states with the lowest, Utah, 9%. Then it's California at 11.2%.

[John Holmberg]

That's amazing that California is only at 11%. 33 million people there, that's a small number. You'd think that, you know, just on the pure sheer volume of people that they would have a lot more smokers. They've made it so hard to smoke in that state.

[Byron]

When Sasha Baron Cohen is speaking Kajak and Borat, he's actually speaking Hebrew, which is intentionally ironic since Borat says so many anti Semitic things. WalletHub just did its list of the 10 most fun cities in America. It's based on 65 different metrics, including how many bars, restaurants and festivals there are. According to the Results, the top 10 Las Vegas, Orlando, Miami, Atlanta, New Orleans, Houston, San Francisco, Austin, Portland, Oregon and Cincinnati.

[John Holmberg]

It's a lot of cities.

[Byron]

Phoenix came in at 28.

[John Holmberg]

Somewhere in there, by the way, skip school and tip your bartender is also the motto at the Tempe Tavern. So if you're interested.

[Byron]

Oxford Dictionary's word of the year, it's actually two words. Rage bait.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of that going.

[Byron]

The reason they chose that, because it's tripled in use in the last year. So it leads the pack.

[John Holmberg]

They know what we're saying that much. Rage bait. I don't mind that one. That's a real thing. There is rage bait out there. And it started yesterday. Chris said, geez, that story reminded me yesterday at Northern and I17, I got hit by a 24 foot ladder that fell out of a guy's truck. And this dude owes me 500 bucks. Well, his name is Chris Parker and Jim Lord. Jim Manley will cover the bill for you. Wonder if it was just a goof that the guy that was behind him hit the ladder and didn't do any damage and it moved it over on its own. Either way, lost our home Pet rescue win.

[Byron]

A study on depression. They had good results using laughing gas to treat depression. Well, sure, rather than Prozac and. But the long lasting, I mean, as far as immediate, it lasted up to a week. Afterwards having a couple treatments of pumping.

[John Holmberg]

Laughing gas into people. Yeah, they're laughing at their pain. It doesn't seem so bad. Have you ever been on laughing gas? It's a great Couple hours. Nothing bothers you because everything seems kind of. It's almost like being tickled internally. You don't laugh the whole time. You kind of just go. It's not like a real Chuckle Hut festival, but I could. Yeah. They haven't tried laughing gas for depression. It's in the name. How did that slip through the cracks? We have wacky crazy fun time pills, but we haven't given those to the depressed yet. We haven't. Why? I hadn't thought of it.

[Brett Vesely]

I did it when Dr. Lynn was down there. Give me a laughing gas.

[John Holmberg]

Did you get the gas? Oh, yeah, I didn't. I stayed sober.

[Brett Vesely]

No way.

[Byron]

And I think they're administering it not at a full blown like you're going to the dentist or Dr. Lynn's. They're doing little.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're not giving you like, you know, brainwave treatment.

[Byron]

They're just kind of several times a week has a lasting effect. So it might help people that, you know that Prozac or Zoloft's not working.

[John Holmberg]

I had in my brain just assumed laughing gas when they invented it. And it's like it makes you laugh like crazy. Someone would have said, let's give it to depressed people and see if it helps. But we haven't done that till 2025. That seemed like a wasted gap of time. Somebody who was depressed should have said, can I have some laughing gas at one point. Of course it's going to help. If you're happy and you have sad gas, it's going to do that too.

[Listener/Caller]

I don't want to laugh.

[John Holmberg]

Laughing gas didn't work at all.

[Byron]

They say the Prozac and Zoloft is effective. Between 30 to 50% of the people that take it.

[John Holmberg]

That just numbs you.

[Listener/Caller]

Makes you a zombie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you don't feel anything, so you can't be depressed. But laughing gas is fun. They should give those depressed people cocaine. They'd have a blast on that stuff. Then it wears off and you get depressed again. So you gotta keep the cycle going, guys.

[Listener/Caller]

Hey, Peter, here's your bump.

[John Holmberg]

And yeah, each day you gotta bump up and sometimes it starts to wear off. So you gotta double your dose. Eventually you're not gonna be depressed, you're just gonna be poor.

[Listener/Caller]

Pete Lee says, here's your little toot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, take a toot. Everybody who says that, that's terrible. You're saying give a depressed person drugs. It's the whole story. Trying to find which drugs work on depressed people.

[Listener/Caller]

By the way, look at all the kids that are out There right now.

[John Holmberg]

Give them some coke, Toledo. I agree with to what he's saying. Give those kids a little cocaine. I'm tired of the hypocrisy of like I can't believe you would suggest cocaine for a depressed person. We were just talking about eight drugs that have and have not worked on depressed people. And the one that I bring up, yeah, that's cocaine though. They're all bad. They're drugs.

[Byron]

This 67 year old dude from China was experiencing stomach problems and bloating. It all started about a month ago, Brody. And so he went to the doctors, they ran some scans. They noticed a foreign object in his stomach. Had trouble figuring out what it was. So they performed emergency procedure. But they had trouble getting it out because it was smooth and slippery the exterior. So they couldn't get a hold of it. They basically had to bag it, like net the object in there because it was slimy. Wait, the dude figured out what it was. He's like, oh yeah. Thirty years ago I was out drinking.

[John Holmberg]

He knew the whole time.

[Byron]

30 and I swallowed a lighter on a dare.

[Listener/Caller]

He knew he was on the Goliath expedition.

[John Holmberg]

He knew. He knew he had that lighter stuck in him. He went to the doctor next to the hospital.

[Byron]

He just assumed to pass through his system.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is that still in there? Oh, who knows? What a surprise. I don't know. It's a rider still there. Wow, it's crazy, huh?

[Brett Vesely]

It was your boy Cha.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe.

[Byron]

I was golfing.

[John Holmberg]

I golf a guy. You ride. We had a good time. I didn't see your studio still there. Tummy hurt. I got brooding.

[Byron]

Once it was removed, doctors saw it had been corroded by the stomach acid. But it still had gas inside and it still worked.

[John Holmberg]

I wish Chinese people didn't have their own language, but still had the accent. Oh, because I just want to hear one go. Oh my Tommy hot. I just like our words in their language is better. I've never once heard them do like a stereotypical American accent with gibberish like we do. We, you know, because we're always going king long time Tom pom pong. We're not saying anything. But I wonder if they're just like hamburger, hamburger, chicken steak, French fry, Coca cola. My guess, yes, I think they do, but Texas real. But we do it all the time. Yeah, take that grill. That's the thing they say, oh, look at me. Everything big tick says, grill, chang, twa, pla, sing, pochi. No, those are your words. That's what you do to us, you know make one for us. Wonder what we're saying, though. We got to be hitting a few of them, right? Right time. I'm saying something. All right. Somebody goes, hey, your pants are cuffed. Yeah. Yeah, somebody's saying something. K Pop rules. I watched enough squid games to know.

[Listener/Caller]

Yeah, I picked up enough.

[John Holmberg]

Well, all you got to do is finish every sentence in Korean. Their last word is always like, somebody just slow motion gut punched them.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Gotcha. Not wrong.

[Byron]

Two more things. The first one, John, you're going to be really excited about.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Byron]

Amazon is testing ultra fast deliveries in two markets. Seattle and Field and Philadelphia.

[John Holmberg]

That's not going to help me.

[Byron]

Well, if it goes well, we're going to open it up in other markets.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Byron]

Front door delivery in 30 minutes.

[John Holmberg]

That sounds dirty.

[Brett Vesely]

What about backdoor?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, give me some backdoor delivery. How much that. 35 minutes.

[Listener/Caller]

Talked about that earlier in the show.

[John Holmberg]

Actually, backdoor delivery, I can do a lot faster. I tend to get more excited about backdoor delivery than I do front door delivery.

[Byron]

Ultra fast delivery.

[John Holmberg]

We heard you and Brett.

[Byron]

You'll be excited.

[John Holmberg]

What is ultra fast, though? 30 minutes from the order. Yeah, from the second you say go.

[Byron]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

You can get something in your house in 30 minutes. That's not ultra fast. That's supersonic. That's hypersonic. How?

[Byron]

They've figured out a way. Certain household items that they believe they can get from.

[John Holmberg]

So there's just like a little tiny list of things you can.

[Brett Vesely]

That's not everything.

[Byron]

Yeah, it's not. You know, if you. I was gonna say an anvil, but I wasn't sure, you know?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You don't want to order. Why would you need that? They would just text back like, f you.

[Brett Vesely]

So the question mark, why go get.

[Byron]

It yourself if you're not a prime member?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

It'll start at 13.99 per order. If you're a prime member, we'll charge you a 3.99. A small basket fee of 1.99, but it's 30 added to orders below 15 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it's fine. You could add $20 to it. If I'm getting it in 30 minutes, I'll take. I'll get. I was going to tip you 20 anyway. And it's just a drone.

[Byron]

And, Brett, I know you'll be excited about this. It starts today. Burger King's SpongeBob SquarePants meal.

[John Holmberg]

What is it?

[Byron]

SpongeBob's Crabby Whopper. Mr. Krabs Cheesy Bacon Tots.

[John Holmberg]

Is there crab on it?

[Byron]

Patrick's Starberry shortcake pie. Oh, and pirates frozen pineapple float.

[John Holmberg]

Aren't starberries an actual thing? They're starfruit.

[Byron]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Star fruit is not a berry.

[Listener/Caller]

It's big star fruits.

[John Holmberg]

So are these is Patrick's a and it comes in strawberry and they're just being cute or is it actually star fruits? So it's just a whopper.

[Byron]

Yeah. Even Brady's underwater.

[John Holmberg]

Just a whopper. You get some toys.

[Brett Vesely]

Stimulating.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, we just got a report said I saw those elves on the side of the road moving that ladder. But I am quick to tell you they weren't actually elves. They're Mexicans. And none of them are over five feet. So it just appeared that they were out. That is true. When the Mexicans are running around the freeway, it does look like Santa's. Santa's crew got out there. Especially when they're standing next to an F350. Really? It shrinks them, man. All right. What do you got?

[Byron]

A couple of Brandy videos. First one's at a zoo and this lady's looking at a big silverback male gorilla.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy. Oh, it's between the glass.

[Listener/Caller]

Brady got it.

[John Holmberg]

I love.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And zoo gorillas get mad at people. Gorillas. Oh, Brady.

[Byron]

That's real.

[John Holmberg]

He just took a big crap on the wall.

[Listener/Caller]

No, he didn't.

[John Holmberg]

It's AI.

[Byron]

That is so stupid. I've seen it.

[John Holmberg]

You haven't. Well, maybe because Brady feeds him stuff.

[Byron]

One more time, Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

Sure, why not? It was so good the first time.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Byron]

Don't worry.

[Brett Vesely]

There we go.

[John Holmberg]

He pooped on the window and it was liquid splatter.

[Listener/Caller]

It's a perfect star.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's amazing. He knows I'm not impressed. Yeah, walk away, big guy.

[Byron]

Performance art.

[Brett Vesely]

Better the more I see it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right. This will be good though, guys.

[Byron]

Eating a bunch of. Bunch of earthworms.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's a night crawlers. Like a Cambodian dude eating worms. Oh, my God. He's just chowing down on some big ass worms. And he's not.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, Toledo's next summer vacation.

[John Holmberg]

Look at it now.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at this slob.

[John Holmberg]

It's because of his. The worms all over his face. God damn you.

[Brett Vesely]

I'd be Karen Carpenter of Cambodia there. No way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you and me be like those. Like Ariana Grande and her friend from Wicked would just be the two skinniest people walking around hugging each other every time the wind blew. Brett, are you cold?

[Byron]

I think the wind's gonna blow us away.

[John Holmberg]

I've never had a friend like you. Let's not eat ever again.

[Byron]

The last real animal attack. Not real.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, Are we watching? I'm not watching. Another AI thing. Tiger, he's about six. Look at her hand.

[Listener/Caller]

Is fine.

[John Holmberg]

When she pulls it away. Pulls it away? It's no blood. The tiger's chewing on her.

[Byron]

It stopped immediately.

[John Holmberg]

What's wrong with you? All right, Brett, get to the real stuff. All right, Come on. Yeah. I can't watch Asian people eat their worms like that. I can't do it. I'm with you. If somehow we got dropped off into one of Toledo's paradises, it could have been Hispanic. That guy. That guy wasn't Hispanic. They don't eat worms.

[Brett Vesely]

They got tamales.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they got tamales. Actually, I'd have the worm. I'll have a plate of worms, please.

[Byron]

He got that at the Cupo worms.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know what they got.

[Brett Vesely]

We'll just start out with some clown cancer for you. Just.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa. Holy smokes. This girl's way overdone. Her surgeries on her ass and her breasts.

[Byron]

No way she's still alive.

[Brett Vesely]

Those are.

[Byron]

I'm just.

[John Holmberg]

There's no finish.

[Brett Vesely]

That's just clown cans.

[John Holmberg]

Clown ass boobs are basketball sized under the skin. That is comfortable, right? Yeah. Poor AI. All right, you calm down because you blew it. Don't wreck it for everyone else. Look at this. What is going on with her ass? It's. I can't even describe what it is. It's two king sized pillows. Huge pillows.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know if we.

[Listener/Caller]

Is there a doctor out there that.

[John Holmberg]

Will say no and not in certain countries, no. And I don't know that the word doctor's really involved when you're looking at that. All right, all right. Some guy who happened to get a hold of two gargantuan implant bags and filled them up with garden water.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know if we've seen this, but I guess this is what happens when the husband comes home early.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we're in a fifth or sixth floor or something, maybe higher. We're looking at a balcony from across the way. And, oh, he's running out the bedroom and he's hanging down and he's going floor to floor by balcony. He's dangling over the next floor. Oh, he falls into the balcony beneath. He jumps off of that one. It didn't look like a good landing, but he's gonna keep going downstairs through the outside. Oh, he jumps onto the next balcony he's on. Now he's illegally on someone else's balcony two floors down from when he was Having the illicit affair from upstairs. He's now walking that balcony. He's looking at the next one out there. Nope, he's gonna jump over this one. Who's trying to kick the door in the balcony he's on.

[Brett Vesely]

He's got to go to the next one.

[John Holmberg]

He's got a good lock on that.

[Byron]

Furniture in the way in the one below.

[John Holmberg]

We'll see. He's got something going. The mission impossible music tells me he's not done. He's got his flipping over doing the exact same move. This ends badly. Oh, no. It was like a 30 story building. I thought we were about four or five floors up. This dude took a risk from floor 27, and he missed the next balcony, and down he went. I didn't know he was taking that kind of risk from the other floors. Oh, my goodness. All right, well, that teaches everybody anything if you're gonna have an affair. Ranch style homes only.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

No high rises.

[John Holmberg]

Don't bang a girl in a high rise. Good Lord. When the husband comes home, you've got a lot of work to do. Oh, all right. Here's a naked lady.

[Brett Vesely]

The kicker from the giants last night. Could have taken lessons from these ladies.

[John Holmberg]

Lady just kicked the guy square in the nuts. Oh, her friend just kicked him. And now she kicked him. Oh, what a terrible choice of tattoos this woman has on her ass, too.

[Byron]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. That's a foot to the testicles. Oh, good lord. All right, what are we gonna do? You're lucky it's theater of the mind, everybody, because that's tough to watch. And then there's a clip to Jeffrey Dahmer talking about. It's on Jeffrey Dahmer's team. That actually took kind of a funny turn.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, all right.

[John Holmberg]

And.

[Brett Vesely]

We'Ll just end with this.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

I got no words.

[John Holmberg]

All right, There's a lady with two fingers in her body. Nope.

[Listener/Caller]

She's got a junk.

[John Holmberg]

Got a In her breathing. And then something green's coming out of her butt breathing. It's water pulling it out now. I don't think that's a while. What is that? What is that? What is that thing? It's a big rubber sex toy.

[Brett Vesely]

But look how long that thing is.

[John Holmberg]

Three and a half feet. And it just keeps. She's tiny, too. Yeah. I don't know what that is. And it just keeps coming out of her. How did she get it in there?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know.

[Byron]

Just.

[John Holmberg]

Just feeding and feeding. It's like trying to roll up a hose.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's all we got.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Great job.

[Byron]

Good skills.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, I guess he's been practicing. You start with little things, and then you move up to the three and a half foot Limp Dildo. Limp Dildo's a good band. Limp Dildo is my favorite band. Name of the year so far. We're gonna recap some of the Palladio bands that are. Well, the ones that are playing tonight, for sure. Our finalists. To remind you guys of what you're walking into tonight as we have the Palladio Live event down at Copper Blues. Just for fun and goofs and stuff. Should be a blast. We'll do that next. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. Can you. PD? You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you, PD? One week ago, we had gotten to the end of Playdoh 20, 25 6, and we were getting to our finalists. Well, the finalists, one of them's in Siberia or something. That's Sanjay's group. The other one is Brent Crandall, who's now just missing.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, this band's name was Witness Protection.

[John Holmberg]

So he hasn't emailed you since?

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Since, no.

[Brett Vesely]

I think I got one meme, but he used to put videos out every day. Yeah. And nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So Brent's band was amazing. I don't think there's anything other than he's just missing from action. You say that as if you know something, but, yeah, it's easy to just check in.

[Byron]

I can't do it.

[John Holmberg]

Where are you? Yeah. Cause we're trying to get him to go. His band was incredible. John Gordon was in it. His band had two sick guys. DJ Bathsheba couldn't make it. Kev. The other bands were struggling to make it. So we were down to. We had, like, eight finalists, basically, and two of them could make it last Tuesday. So we moved it to tonight. And hopefully you guys can still turn out because it should be pretty fun, Even though it is kind of better on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving because nobody tries on Wednesday. So it is a work night tomorrow, but who cares? Let's go goof around and have fun on a Tuesday. That's what we do. But just as a quick reminder, here's who we have as our top fear. In no particular order. Hang on. Because he has 1, 2, 3, 2, 1 written for the bands. Is it. Is it 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Okay. All right. I'm just making sure. That's what I figured. All right. The first one that'll be in there tonight is the Domnrs.

[Brett Vesely]

I like these guys.

[John Holmberg]

Do women and nrs. Yeah, I know. I'd hated their name, but I like their band. Song is called Casual Friday. Just to wake you up. Yep. With the screamies. So they were screamy guys. And that was. That was the one that came in. They're the fifth finalist. Then we had the Thomas James Band, which was very kind of groove centric, almost Tom Petty plus something else kind of Thomas James Band said something I think you should know. I'll give you some vibes I got a long time ago. I'm a guy that was here before you. He said you leave your heart on the side of the road and pick it up when you do. You know, you got to be strong. Cool. What's that Australian band that's not acdc but wants to be Airborne. Airborne. There it is. That's the one. Very much like that. The third one that we have coming in tonight. Graves of the Monuments. Their song was called Suffocate. Forgot about these guys.

[Byron]

I did too.

[John Holmberg]

And then we had. Is this john gordon's? Man, the mess I made, I believe. Is that the one? I think so too. This is called bleed out. No, it's not, jon. Without fear. That's a good one there. All right. I like that. The Mess I Made. And then Without Fear. Gaslighter was the name of the song. I like this one. Very cool song. Very cool hook. Very well done, boys. And then of course, the ones that we can't get to show up, including this angel. DJ Bath Sheba. Listen to her voice. Road Every step I'm taking Lights up the sky I'm chasing yeah, I'm fire Freedom ain't no turning on my. Knock it off. Why can't she show up?

[Brett Vesely]

People are calling her DJ AI now.

[John Holmberg]

That's what they all say about Shabathshiba the Alchemist. We love you. And then of course, there's the one that we wish could come, but they broke up 20 years ago. Piss Ball. Pete, let me tell you story, man name Piss Ball beat his neck so Smiley pissed on his ball.

[Byron]

If.

[Brett Vesely]

If, you know, two of the guys could show up, I'm sure we could find somebody to fill in.

[John Holmberg]

One dude can show up and do an acoustic version of that. Yeah.

[Byron]

Is that the band? The brothers haven't talked?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I think so.

[John Holmberg]

They have not talked in 20 something years. Since the beginning of the Goliath expedition. And now they are are there. But it's one star night as the Band. But just one dude in a guitar can do that. Just strum it once.

[Brett Vesely]

And one drum with a, with a slam.

[John Holmberg]

One guy can do that too. Yeah, you just, you strum it, you grab a stick and.

[Brett Vesely]

Mary Poppins, the one man band.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Brett. Why do these people have to make everything so difficult? But tonight It'll start about 6:30 with DDM and NRS. And if you want to guys, you could come down there and hang out. It's nice. It's for the. We're going to drop off some money for the Humane Society. Would suggest perhaps you, you show up. We'll, we'll have a little thing for you. If you don't want to do it, that's fine too. No terrorism here.

[Byron]

Yeah, be cheap.

[John Holmberg]

But. But there is guilt. And Brett will stand at their go. You don't know no envelope from you. Okay, enjoy tonight for free. But we're gonna have that lined up. Now part of the deal is if you're one of the bands in this crowd participation is a big thing. So I highly recommend you get family and friends to show up, up to the party tonight because if you've got no support, it's going to feel terrible. And we like to fill the place up. It's not a huge place. Couple hundred people will pop through, fill that thing right up and we'll get going. So we're ready to go tonight. 6:30 Copper Blues, Downtown shouldn't be that tough. And then we'll pick our winner and they will write our theme song for next year and they'll walk away with $2,000 as a band, which they're not getting paid to do gigs. Two grand total over at, you know, what is that place called, the Tumbleweeds and stuff. You're not getting two grand a night from Tumbleweed. The 44 is probably not throwing 200 bucks at you. Yeah, 2000. And if you are, well then you're doing pretty well. So what are you doing with us? But DJ Bathsheba, I'm very angry at you because if she can't show up.

[Brett Vesely]

Sunday Night Football.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it is Fox News. We bring you Will Kane. He would have that on. I mean, just send it to Fox News now. The second he finds out she's Black Fox will jump on that and make it like, see, see, we're not. I use a black lady as my theme song. The song's called Fire and Freedom. Pete Hegseth jizzes every time that song plays. They probably have it in the, in the planes that are killing all those Venezuelan druggies. Can you imagine that? That's a pretty good idea.

[Byron]

I got the speaker out the helicopter.

[John Holmberg]

Shooting down drug boats. Venezuela agios. How about that story? They had a couple surv survivors waving to the helicopter like, okay, we're sorry.

[Byron]

No, they're coming back for a second round.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever. They were just floating in the water and we. We drove them down again. I like it. I got a problem with that. Blow up a bunch of stuff. I'm fine with it. It's inhumane.

[Byron]

And now it's not him.

[John Holmberg]

Who cares, Admiral? Don't care.

[Byron]

I. I did it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it doesn't matter. He's in charge of it. Don't care who's doing it. I like watching things explode. And it's going to get us all in big trouble. And it's going to. I'm here for the laughs, but that's pretty good stuff. I just like that. We circle back for survivors. Anybody left down there who ordered the code red. And it goddamn right. Just floating around out there looking for boats, fishermen and stuff. I like it. So tonight should be fun. We'll see you guys out there. And I think we're gonna have a heck of a night. I think that should be something we all look forward to as we get excited for Palladio 2026. Hopefully the live show will be good also. I don't know if you guys saw this the other day, but calling someone bald is now considered sexual harassment. You see that? It was finally in a court. In a court. It has been put out there that said, if you call a man bald at his office, it is now sexual harassment. Because it's essentially like saying nice cans or looking at someone's body parts and pointing them out. Baldness is now sexual harassment. Me too. It's here for us, Brady. We can't be teased. We can't be ridiculed. We can't be ogled. You can no longer look at our bald heads and mention a thing or we will. You will lose your job. Look at that, Brett fighting for this for years. You hair. Having hair, Havers. Yeah, maybe we are. But you can talk about us being pussies, but you can't talk about our hair. That's just the way we operate now. It's not a thing. Yeah, some judge and I was like New Hampshire or something said, yeah, I guess that would count if you were kind of going after this dude because he's bald. You can't do that to people. And nice chrome dome. What being bald is, is.

[Brett Vesely]

It's was a Judge Telly Savalas or what?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it is. Yeah. And you know what? Good one of our own got it says, well, it was in the uk. I'm sorry, it wasn't here yet. I thought it was New Hampshire. UK says calling a man bald can be a form of sexual harassment, a characteristic more prevalent in men. Based on a specific case where a supervisor repeatedly called an employee a bald C word.

[Byron]

Where's the problem?

[John Holmberg]

Get it done, you bold. And he heard it every day, and he's like, that's enough. Being called a C word that was okay. Didn't apply in court, but being called bald was a bridge too far. Are, as a comment, was found to be intentional and unwanted and created a hostile and intimidating work environment, violating his dignity and relating to his sex. Because it's male. If you called a woman a bald, you just. You know you're gonna get fired for that. So you can't call a man a bald. I don't think you're supposed to call anybody at work a what? Bald immediately dismisses you. You sometimes.

[Brett Vesely]

It's fitting, though.

[John Holmberg]

The judges ruled there's a link between the word bald and a protective characteristic of sex, as baldness is inherently related to sex gender. As it's a man thing. It's prevalent in men, and it's what we have to deal with. So it immediately drops right into that category. As if you were to make fun of only things women have, like periods and emotional breakdowns and bad driving skills. The act was considered unwanted and a violation of the man's dignity. The person does not need to explicitly state their objection for conduct to be unwanted. So he basically took the punches until he couldn't take them anymore. And he didn't want the nickname bald at work anymore, so they stopped it. So more than likely because the next thing was training is now going to start happening in workplaces that you can't point out a dude's ball.

[Listener/Caller]

Baldness.

[Byron]

Can't wait to see that video.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you know what's gonna happen for us, Brady? Bald is our new N word, only we're allowed to use it. This is gonna be awesome. So I can call you guys C.

[Brett Vesely]

Words all day long.

[John Holmberg]

Usually. Usually. You're right about that. Don't you dare add the word bald to that. What do you think? Your bricktop from Snatch? Yeah, it's a. But it. Yeah, they've been talking about it for a long time, but it finally happened in quite a. They did it in, I guess it was like 2022, but it has become official now. In workplace hrs that you can't. You can't call a bald man bald. There's a couple years ago, but it just leaked over into our. And that was in the UK Leaked over into our United States and is now in training seminars and everything else. So back off us, Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, C word.

[John Holmberg]

That's fine. I don't have one of those. But if I did, you could. Couldn't. You couldn't do it. And it's really true. You can't call a woman that. But I could call a dude that all day long.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And we do in this building. But I don't think I've ever called any of the ladies downstairs. Like, I've done it with Brett. He'll say something like, get out of here, you dumb. But if Jill was in my office, I'm like, get out of here, you dumb. Oh, my God. Why did you call me that? I remember probably way before people cared about women's feelings at work. Work. We were working here, man. It was a great. It seemed like the sun was shinier then, but there was a girl here, and she was. She was kind of like one of the guys. She was playful and fun, and she came down, and I think I called someone else the C word. Joking. And she just goes, ugh, I hate that word. And I'm like, it's one of the best words ever. Like, that was when I first started hanging around Thomas, my Scottish friend. So it had seeped into my world. So it's probably 2005.

[Byron]

You tried to tenderize it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I tenderized the hell out of it. I made it the sweetest thing in the world. That way, if it ever did slip out in anger, it wasn't a nuclear weapon. It was just a bullet. But I did it. And then so it's like, oh. And it was shocking. And I didn't realize how shocking until later that day. I went upstairs and like, hey, how you doing? Doing? And she wouldn't talk to me. And then I turned, and she was crying, so you okay? And she goes, I can't believe you said that. Words. The worst word in the world. I didn't call you one. But now you're kind of acting like a. So maybe I should have, thinking that would make it lesser. Tears flying. I just left, and we had our old boss, Chuck Artigue, then, oh, get over it. You get back to your desk. There were tears involved. And to me, that just screamed, geez, what an emotionally unstable she must be. But I did get, like, told, hey, try not to say that around her. By her boyfriend.

[Byron]

Her boyfriend.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she really hates that. So if you don't mind, don't say that or around her. Okay. I didn't know it was that. You're dating a. You're dating a Looney Tune, but yeah.

[Byron]

Was that the Christmas party?

[John Holmberg]

Always, by the way. Hey, man, just want to let you know, when you said to my girl. Yeah, I didn't actually. I said it someone else. She was an earshot. Yeah, well, she hears that and it. It triggers her. I don't understand that, but. Okay, so don't say the. You know. Okay, I won't use those words. It was insensitive.

[Brett Vesely]

But now you're a.

[John Holmberg]

Now I'm a bald. What'd you call me? Bald. What? Doesn't matter. A bald gentleman is even too far off the deal, so don't do. Was a pretty fun day, though. I remember that one being like, I thought everything was fine. And then I used the joke again, thinking she's crying about something else, and I was gonna make her laugh with what. It was that. And I remember Chuck saying that too. Did you say to that girl. I didn't say it to her. She heard me say it to someone else. Oh, don't use that word anymore. Acting like a. Around here. I can't. I don't. I don't need that on my desk. You got it, buddy. And then we just went about our business. 2005 was different.

[Byron]

It was the change.

[John Holmberg]

It was different. Somewhere around 1213, everybody kind of looked at each other and said, said, let's make everything harder. And we did. Anyway, we'll be able to throw that around tonight, but don't you dare call me bald Brady, too. I'm going to keep my ears open if you even start, because Brady's nice.

[Byron]

I might not hear it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and. Yeah, and he's deaf, so that doesn't. You can try to call Brady a bald if you want to, but he might just go, hey, how you doing there, chief?

[Brett Vesely]

C word's okay, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Add anything you want to the bald off. It's off the table. It's off the table. It's our nword. We use it, not you. If I even hear, it's the B word to you people. Your people. That's our B word. Brady for them. We can say it all day. What's up, my bald? Hey, what's up, baldy? We're having the time of our lives. Somebody gets a little comfortable with us, one of these follicled people will have their ass. And if you're one of those horseshoe keepers, you're not one of us. One of those people that grows the outside out and still considers that having hair. You look like an toilet seat. Yeah, you look like a moron and you're bald. So quit it. It's 8:55. That's a beautiful thing. What a great day for us. B Words. B Words unite. Right now. We can be part of the lgb. I guess we. They've already got to be. It's not bald either. Geez, we can't get any groups. We have to start our own. How about the. What are the naas? BP like that National Advancement. Advancement of Bald people. Yeah, the naabp. That's where I'm starting. Starting that right there. We've. We've been pushed back too long by the man oppressed. No, don't. And I know you're rolling your eyes out there, hair havers. You don't know our pain.

[Brett Vesely]

No, I sure don't.

[John Holmberg]

You don't. See these people. Can you believe it? They don't even acknowledge it. Now I know what it's like to be gay, Jewish and bald man. It's terrible. It's 856 basically essentially screaming out we wish we were you. Every time we get mad you say it's like well we can't be you, so stop reminding us. We got the hot releases coming up in just moments. Ya Bald Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Are you guys ready? He's ready. Toledo's got to get ready. We got to get all ready. It's time now. It's 9:14. And by the way, people are asking, can I use skin head? There are several slurs towards the balds that I think Brady and I can both say you shouldn't use. But we can now. Isn't that right baldy?

[Brett Vesely]

C words.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. Maybe we are C words.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes you are.

[John Holmberg]

But I'll have your ass if you call me bald. Oh, this is empowering. Now I know why all these other races like this stuff. I like this a lot.

[Brett Vesely]

Imagine going down to Susie and complaining somebody called you bald.

[John Holmberg]

Jill said I was bald. Well you are. Now you've done it. You see the HR lady that's on the news too. We're gonna find that when the HR lady that it's pretty good stuff when people go to the HR person. He drugged over 200 female applicants and Made them pee for him during the interview.

[Byron]

Oh my.

[John Holmberg]

200. Okay, I'll give you up to three. 197 of them wanted to do this. You don't get lucky 200 times drugging someone and having them pee for you in a job interview. How good was that job? Says human resource director working for a government institution was accused of drugging more than 200 women in an effort to make the them need to urinate at difficult moments of the job interview. One of the ladies was more than 240 women targeted by Christian NRI. An HR director of the French Cultural Ministry said he reviewed by the claims and he slipped a strong illegal diuretic into their coffee and made them pee. And then, you know, just kind of.

[Byron]

The other ones didn't. No, no coffee.

[John Holmberg]

The ones with tight clinchers. It was his. It was his way to find out who's tight, who's got a good kegel. But he liked it. He made him pee. He drugged him to make him pee. 200 of them. I'm with women. If it was 200 women, chances are they're not getting through a 20 minute interview without having to pee. That's my guess. They pee the second you say let's get in the car. It's like some sort of Pavlovian code for them to go and your bladder's flying full.

[Byron]

Everything's fine in the house.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I told Brett this story, but yesterday I was. This for me? Well, I got this email first. Says piss off. Being bald suck. Sure, I'd rather deal with that harassment. The endless stream of ginger jokes. The guy complaining needs to grow his spine since he can't grow hair. Will you watch your mouth there, Rebel Hollingsworth? Cuz I'm gonna send this. I'm going to file this email away and your HR card folder, Rebel. Stupid ginger. You can't make fun of bald people. It's wrong. There's ginger people have lower IQs, so they don't know any different. Yesterday I had a pair of light colored jeans on and I went to see Katrina, my beautiful therapist. And I'm sitting with her and we were talking about stuff and I had to pee really bad. So. And we had just gotten done talking about how. I was just out of curiosity, I'm like, how many, many people don't understand your role in their life and become like, they think because we did that story a while ago about how people are like, oh, my therapist thinks I'm their favorite. I'm their best friend. Like they cross the line to friendship. And then they start thinking maybe there's a little something there. And I said that right as I had to pee. So I had just basically said to dudes, come on to you as a therapist. And then I had to go pee. And when I peed with light colored jeans on, I realized I didn't have any underwear on. And I don't normally. And I'm like, well, I don't want to go back in there because I was hurrying through the pee to make it seem like I wasn't pooping. So you tried to pee faster. So I took a bunch of toilet paper and I wrapped it around my goods just to like block any drop dribbles. It's a good move. And when I went back in there, I realized that I had just said, hey, did dudes find you attractive? I'll be right back. And then came back with what looked like a big heart on because I had wrapped it up so thick. No drips, though. No drips, no runs, no drips, no errors. The old Johnny Bench technique I take with the urination highly recommend that for people who don't use underwear. I hate underwear. And light colored jeans. Occasionally you wrap it up, squeeze it out later, and throw that away, and then you're back into no underwear. Nothing better than an unfurnished basement. But don't call me bald. Let's get to the hot releases. They're brought to you by our friends [e-mail] they're still doing that thousand dollars off if you use Holmberg as the promo code. And that's pretty great right there. And also I had a guy, a friend of mine tell me the other day, is heaters out? That's the same thing. If your AC unit didn't make it through the summer very well, guess what's not going to work real well now when you have to start turning your heater back on because it got into the 40s last night. So in the outskirts, people's heaters are kicking back on. And if that unit's all done, guess what? It's the same thing. It's just ac. It's air conditioning. Doesn't mean it's hot and cold cold. So they want you to get it replaced. And doing it that way with new AC unit.com is the best way to save yourself some cash. Throw Holberg in the promo code, take off another thousand bucks, and then save thousands more. Save time. Buy online newac unit.com. brett, go.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, we'll start off with it's real Light today just because we're getting so close to Christmas.

[John Holmberg]

So.

[Brett Vesely]

But Zach Brown Band. This is a Let it run.

[John Holmberg]

You want Christmas dog. Zach Brown and Snoop Dog. Who the he? Hella Shaq Brown was getting high Passing flowers round the fire no one even gave a damn till it landed in your hand now you're Zach. Looks glamorous now it burns.

[Byron]

Kind of like the dude perfect of.

[John Holmberg]

Country Vegas on that joint I'm about to hit. Just let it roll. Hot girls, country dance. God, this sounds dumb already. At least it's not about beer. They've graduated to weed. Can Snoop Dog save a country song?

[Brett Vesely]

Snoop dog's such a.

[John Holmberg]

Corona spokesman. Snoop dogg. No. Geez. I knew that was kind. I caught it. My goodness.

[Brett Vesely]

All right. So there you go.

[John Holmberg]

Even he can't save a country song.

[Brett Vesely]

Upon a burning body.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

This is Daywalker.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Hello.

[John Holmberg]

Cool image.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Big bright red sun. I like these guys. Till he sings every time.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, the music's good.

[John Holmberg]

It's always cool. And he screeches. I know a place where evil's lurking. Actually not so bad.

[Brett Vesely]

This is pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

That stinks. So putrid. Sin. Where's the skin? Just to watch it blind.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds a little like Parkway Drive. Until he goes in there. Real screamy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Hey. This is different. It's not doing that high pitch weird screeching. This is Milan. A component. Burning Bodies got me.

[Brett Vesely]

Might be checking this one out.

[John Holmberg]

A new album or just a single album.

[Brett Vesely]

This one got released like four months ago.

[John Holmberg]

But it's on a new album. I like that. Don't they usually have that Guy sounds like Krampus. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Rob Zombie.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go.

[Brett Vesely]

Stuff. This is Heathen Days.

[John Holmberg]

New Rob Zombie. Four Horsemen of Mine. I created Apocalypse. Rob Zombie doesn't age. And I don't know why that is like his. Everything about him always looks exactly the same as Black Sunshine Days.

[Brett Vesely]

Other than the hair gets gray.

[John Holmberg]

A little grayer or blonder. Go. This is better than the first single. Awesome.

[Byron]

It's all makeup.

[John Holmberg]

Just wearing a lot of hair. Hair. I like this one a lot too.

[Brett Vesely]

The last single he put out from this album wasn't that good.

[John Holmberg]

Garbage. I like that a lot.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[Byron]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's jump into some AI stuff. Just because I like that.

[John Holmberg]

Though Zombie and Upon a Burning Body were both good.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's Even Flow. The soul remix.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. Pearl Jam's Even Flow. If it were a seventies soul. Feeling, maybe he'll see a little better. I can relive everything I like all over again. It's like having Alzheimer's musical. How's the chorus? Sounds like that actually sounds like a pretty legitimate.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, I didn't do too much crazy with that. I like it, though.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's Blind Melon. No rain.

[John Holmberg]

There's like 40 people in this AI band. It's a picture of, like, cool in the gang. Anders. Wind and fire in a church basement. Oh, this is going to be great. This little bumblebee girl going to be in this. Sounds like a theme song to that's My Mama. I like watching the puddle gather rain and all I can do is just pour some tea for two. It's like if the bumblebee girl went on blacks dot com. Oh, come on. Don't want to listen to that all day on the way home. Send me that immediately.

[Brett Vesely]

And we did Cypress Hill. Insane in the Brain. The funk style. Here it is. New metal style.

[John Holmberg]

Well, by the way, Jersey J might be right. He goes after Plato. I think you like everything. You got to cleanse your palate. Those were two good songs, John. But let's calm down. He might be right. He might be right.

[Brett Vesely]

No, those are good.

[John Holmberg]

I think I'm with you, but. All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Cypress Hill, the new metal cover.

[John Holmberg]

And this is A.I.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Oops, I turned Wrong thing to start again Start, start again I want to do it crazy with E. Don't you know I'm loco? Don't you know I'm loco? Hey, I did that. Just toss that ham in the frying pan like Spam get dumb when they come and slam Damn, they feel like the Son of Sam don't make me wreck Hectic. Oh, geez, I forgot about the cursing. M got excited about that song. That's awesome.

[Listener/Caller]

We need to do your Casey K.

[John Holmberg]

I have to do that. I have to get around songs. So when you get to 20 or 25 of them. All right, let's get a. We'll do a whole full on made up countdown and we'll do an original here. Okay. This is Taste My Ass by Sharona. Yes. Not your Sharona, not his Shirona. My Shiron, Sharona. All right. It's rockabilly 50s. Taste my ass by Sharona. Thank you. Taste of freedom Wild and free A secret pleasure just for me but you can share it if you dare to Taste my ass beyond compare Taste my ass Feel the heat of forbidden pleasure oh, so sweet don't be shy, don't hesitate Dive right in seal your face Evidently she has a date. All right, well, that's just getting too far.

[Byron]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Gateway. John Holmberg's. Morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Byron]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

And that'll bring the gateway to the well.

[John Holmberg]

I can only imagine. On. Yeah, man. You keep reading those words now. I'm curious about her lyrics. All right. Inside my. Oh, geez. Inside my deep hole Taste the wine Then forever you will be Be mine. Probably accurate.

[Byron]

What a poet.

[John Holmberg]

She's good. Taste my ass. Yeah, she's back to the course. Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't be shy, don't hesitate. Dive right in, Seal your fate.

[John Holmberg]

She's consistent. You know what's great about the AI picture of Sharona is that she's not that great looking. She's really good, but she looks like somebody. That would be like.

[Byron]

She's like a pretty stalker.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. That's what I was thinking. My dad would hate her, but she's got kind of a not for everybody look. AI is so amazing. And I'm. You know what I think of as AI now? I think of AI as like. Like I'm Jeffrey Dahmer's parents. When I see AI today, it's my little fledgling fun thing. And it's cute. It's going to grow up and kill all of us. But I'll remember the early days of its first step. That's First Taste my ass. All the fun it's given us. Cats driving videos. And all the fun things AI is doing now. Well, just like when Jeffrey Dahmer's parents saw him as a little boy and thought, isn't he adorable? He's great. Let's hope he grows into something amazing. But we all know AI is going to become our overlords. For now, just enjoy its childhood. Because it's like Hitler was a cute baby. Probably. I might get fired for saying so because people don't like hearing that Hitler might have been a cute kid kid because of what he turned into. But somewhere along the lines, people are like, that little guy's going places. That's how we feel about AI right now. But always remember, it's going to kill us all.

[Brett Vesely]

There was her second single.

[John Holmberg]

No, this is Sherona's other song. I'm a good girl, but I love anal.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you want to play it?

[John Holmberg]

Sure. All right. So the same album? I think so. Wear my poodle skirt and keep my lipstick red Mama says I'm sweet as apple strudel no but when the lights go out I flip the script instead I ain't no clues, you're chasing every Tom or Harry I see my present folding my hands so neat but deep down inside I'm craving something dirty. A back door ride that I knock me off my feet. Oh, I'm a good girl, but I love anal. Sticking in the rear make me like what I say. He's so giddy. Oh, he. Because it's Jeffrey Dmer's first steps. Brady. It's Jeffrey Dahmer's first steps. Somewhere out there, there's a group of people who are like, remember Jeff's first steps? They were great. Call me. Call me back in 21 years when there's some kids missing. And AI did it.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, that'll bring us to N word or F word, the game that is sweeping the nation. And today we got Dubaby. Oh, this is Rockstar.

[Byron]

Didn't he get in trouble?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He said the homo F word a few times and then said he didn't care about them and they knocked him off the dua lipa song for a little while. Dababy. I was the winner. I'll go with Geez, he loves Kirk person. I'm going to go ahead and say. I'm going to say mfer. Okay, Brady.

[Byron]

Angry. N word.

[John Holmberg]

Angry N word.

[Byron]

Richard.

[Listener/Caller]

Not going to be friendly, but I'll go friendly.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Friendly N word. Here we go. Good luck. What? How you pull up, baby? How you pull up? How you pull up.

[Byron]

In the kitchen?

[John Holmberg]

Let's go. Brand new Lamborghini cop car. Oh, Jesus. Just a straight up effort. No one had it continues to next week. There you go. It's Damien. It's Damien. AI is Damien. Remember he had parties and everybody kind of looked at him like, we know something's wrong with you, but you're so cute right now. Let's maybe we can nurture it out of you. But it's not going to go well. It's a cute kid right now. It's not doing anything bad yet, but boy, when it does, we're in trouble.

[Byron]

I'm feeling we got duped this year on Palladium.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe a couple of those. Maybe I'm.

[Byron]

Now I want to look at those songs to see if they're up there in the fake music category.

[John Holmberg]

No, you never find them. Can't find what Brett tells us about just saying see it. See it for what we're seeing it for. It's a toddler that's waddling around with a baba in its mouth and just making us laugh and we're having a great time. It's gonna slaughter us all. Uncle Johnny tells you. You know what's gonna happen? All right, what do you got there? Toledo.

[Byron]

Concerts will be on the screen now.

[John Holmberg]

There won't be concerts, Brady. There won't be concerts. I feel like going to a movie, trying to do. They'll just.

[Byron]

They'll just.

[Listener/Caller]

You'll plug in for a second.

[John Holmberg]

You guys seem to think this is just going to keep going in this direction. Eventually it's going to kill us all.

[Listener/Caller]

The big video game out just in time for Christmas is. Well, it's actually been out, but there's new DLC for it is Assassin's Creed.

[Byron]

Shadows Men Spare no one.

[Listener/Caller]

This is from the launch trailer, but there's new content out to banish Assassin's Creed Shadows.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good Christmas release here. I got to say, it looks remarkably like the old Assassin's Creed, which is a little disappointing.

[Listener/Caller]

They're getting away from the. The reality of it because it's like taxing the systems too much and people are finding that the old school, you know, graphics are funner to play.

[John Holmberg]

This looks just like the old ones with better backgrounds.

[Byron]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

One, the warrior stands upon the battlefield. I liked Assassin's Creed when it came out, but the problem with it was the gameplay was kind of like methodical.

[Listener/Caller]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So you would start at noon and you didn't realize it was 6 o' clock when you're like, oh my God, I've been doing this all day.

[Byron]

Yep.

[Listener/Caller]

And you can get lost. You know, Red Dead Redemption around a city. Oh, that was.

[John Holmberg]

It got me several times.

[Listener/Caller]

Sorry, Brady, you don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Brady couldn't get through this at first. Brady had it figured out. Can't get through the first 15 minutes. Never play again. Because there were Saturdays where I was playing and I'm like, where'd the sun go go?

[Listener/Caller]

We missed this last week. It actually came out on Thanksgiving. Stranger things, season five, they're doing it in two parts. This is the part one. The second part comes out in Christmas.

[John Holmberg]

Are these 30 year olds still supposed to be in the 80s?

[Listener/Caller]

I don't know. I thought they were like eight when this thing started.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Didn't it start off in like the mid-80s and now they're 25 and it's still the 80s. That doesn't work, but I think we should find out. And the girl that was like the adorable lead is now some Bon Jovi 24 year old.

[Listener/Caller]

Sex Billy. Bobby Bon Jovi.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

I want to see Vector's heart on a platter.

[John Holmberg]

I can't look at any of the characters. I really don't. Huh. Millie Vani Jovi. Oh, Brady, you all right?

[Byron]

I think she went with. Her real name's Bonnie.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Byron]

She went from Millie Bobby Brown to Millie Bonnie Bon Jovi.

[Listener/Caller]

Thanks for throwing. We would have all known that.

[John Holmberg]

Huh? Bond changed her name. Yeah. All right, either way, she's like 30 now, and it's still 1987. So two years have passed in the whole thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe they'll bring cousin Oliver into.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I was saying.

[Listener/Caller]

They needed only two years.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how long it's been, but they're still in the 80s, right?

[Listener/Caller]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And they're 10 years older. It doesn't make sense. And also, I can't look at any of the characters. I want to punch them. And you're right. In the old days. Days they'd have just replaced them with cuter kids. This is all the Leave it to Beaver syndrome. They all became teenagers and 20 year olds and they all got ugly. And normally a TV show would replace you with a cuter kid. Danny Cooksey on Different Strokes. When Gary Coleman got ugly, that was bringing a new kid. They didn't do that on Stranger Things.

[Listener/Caller]

George Clooney is back on Netflix with a movie called J. Kelly.

[John Holmberg]

This one was Adam Sandler.

[Listener/Caller]

He's a famous movie actor, embarks on a journey of self discovery, confronting his past impression present with his devoted manager, Ron.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at you.

[John Holmberg]

You're the American dream. The last of the old movies. I'm down here. You're up there. You're down here.

[Listener/Caller]

You're in here.

[John Holmberg]

We did this together. See you, dad. I'm leaving on Saturday for Paris. This your last summer? It'll be so lonely here without you. No, it won't. You're never alone. Really? I think I'm always alone. Thanks, Ivan. You're on. Okay, this is gonna be a maybe, right? That's a maybe.

[Listener/Caller]

Here's some member berries for us. The first snow of Fraggle Rock is out on Apple tv.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's a new Fraggle Rock. I've been working on a sled. We will launch it. Not interested in modern Fraggle Rock? No.

[Listener/Caller]

All right, this one's for Brady then. The Night My Dad Saved Christmas too.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Listener/Caller]

He had to Do It Twice is out on Netflix. If you missed the other one, the first one two years ago, you're in luck.

[John Holmberg]

I did.

[Listener/Caller]

You can binge him.

[John Holmberg]

I have to. So there's just. So it's basically subtitles. It's basically Santa Bond. There's an evil person trying to ruin Christmas and this guy saves it. Okay, Too much Spanish Toledo. I don't know what's going on there. Why would you even bring that one to the party?

[Listener/Caller]

Cuz I think Brady will watch it.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe. I like A Diverse Clause.

[Byron]

I'm so behind.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you'll get through the first one. You got time. You'll be all right. I bet you it'll be at like volume 60 on a Samsung too. Just screaming Spanish into this. Oh, here's Larry McFeely.

[Byron]

That's Spanish. And I thought, what the hell happened to Fraggle Rock?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, there. It's a DEI program down there in the Fraggle. All right, well, there you go. That's it. I like this. I like the Zombie. That came out great. I like the new Rob Zombie.

[Brett Vesely]

The Cypress new metal version was pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty cool. Cool. And Upon a Burning Bodies got my interest. He get some good ones in there today. The Clooney movie is a big maybe.

[Brett Vesely]

And we'll see Sandler better when he's serious.

[John Holmberg]

I like him when he's not in charge of writing or like when he's not trying to be funny because he's great. Yeah. When he's. When he's unfunny, he's brilliant because he's so good at that. And there you go. Those are your hot releases. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock revolution radio station. You thought that was funny? Morning sickness. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Yes, acdc. I always hear the notes of the next song that plays off of that album when that song ends.

[Brett Vesely]

Have a Drink on Me.

[John Holmberg]

Yep, that ended and went right in. It was the. It's so arguable with people, but it is in the argument of the best rock album of all time. So great. It's ACD spread, of course. It's 9:50. We just found out something awesome. She's gonna be there. She's coming, Ton. But I'm taking back control. Every step I'm taking. Lights up. DJ B. Evely. She's been trying to email and Toledo's been ignoring it through a spam. Hi, Richard. You can't pick it up. So John Gordon came in and said, she's coming, man. And he's worried because his band's going to be there. And now there's some real competition going on. Matt Sheba without fear. And then we even have, you know, our own Batman has learned this song on bass. Let me tell you a story. A man named Piss Ball Pete, his dick so small, he pissed on his ball I'll sing it. If Batman shows up, we'll do a little, a little retro action. Back to one star night's piss ball, Pete. If Batman's there in costume with his bass, we'll plug in and I'll, I'll sing it if I remember it tonight. Come on. I need a lyric sheet. I cheat the whole time. I have songs, lyrics right in front of me. Can't do it. Wow, that's gonna be awesome. So DJ Bathsheba is now there and now Dom and NRS are not coming because they've got two people that have to work. Evidently they've got like people who are in the medical profession. They can't make it tonight.

[Brett Vesely]

A little band with jobs.

[John Holmberg]

I know. Well you know it's not the drummer but the other guys actually work to support the drummer who's on the couch. So we have five bands tonight that are going to be great. Thomas James Band, Graves of the Monuments, the Mess I Made Without Fear and DJ Beth Sheba, the Alchemist. How about that Johnny? Get those little fingers all warmed up. When you're playing guitar tonight, this is going to be a good one. Good show tonight and we're going to do it out at Copper Blues next to Stand up live downtown in city. If you want to head on down there, darn it all, we want to see you. And if you want to drop off some money on your way in for the Humane Society, we're going to do that as well. How about that? It's 9:52. We got the entertainment drill coming up next. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. Let me tell you a story. A man named Piss Ball, Peter's dick so smiley pissed on his ball. We got that. We'll have that one live tonight too. I like it. It's all coming together for our paleo show this evening. Taylor says man I wish nothing more than you get there tonight for your show and see an overweight acne covered 16 year old boy incel who has to admit to you that they are DJ Beth. She and you have been catfished. That is even better stories. I would hope that all and I unfortunately I know that one is not but all the bands are incels in their parents basements that have catfished us. Come on. We didn't talk about this morning before we get to the entertainment drill but DJ Hokey Ku I believe the kicker for the Giants is DJ Hoke. Is that his name? I'm pretty sure that that's right. That kick he had last night where he kicked the ground instead of the ball, which is one of the funniest things that's happened in football and maybe forever. I just found out what happened. His wife called him. The DirecTV password was not. Yeah. So he had to stop in the middle and text her. Megan text me during work to ask me what the direct TV password is. Evidently, Hokiki Kim Kimchi. I believe his name, Hoku Ku Jo. Either way, he missed that kick. And an extraordinarily bad. Did you see that?

[Byron]

I saw.

[Brett Vesely]

Kicked one of the worst kicks I've ever seen.

[John Holmberg]

And it stopped the ball. Well, no, it was like a foot behind it and his toe went into the earth. And the best part was Jackson dart for the Giants in the slow motion. They're going, oh, my God. Because they couldn't score. Anyway, it was the only hope they had. But evidently Megan text him and said, what's the password to Netflix? While he was at work because you know, she doesn't care what you're doing. It is time now for Brady to give you all the entertaining stories he's found. And we call that the entertainment drill. And it's brought to you by our [e-mail] they've got gift certificates for the holidays. They're about to celebrate 25 long years of what they do in this beautiful valley. And it's a fantastic thing. $89 for one month. That special is going to keep going for a little while while so you can get you guys in there for one month of training. Doesn't matter how many classes you want to take. You want to do one. All right, that's not smart. But they've got tons of them. They offer and you show up when you feel like showing up. You get on that move and train and you start training. And it is awesome stuff. You can do cardio training, bag class, fight skills, knife defense, gun defense. They have all sorts of different trainings, classes that you can get involved in. For 89 bucks, you are getting an unbelievable value and you're going to learn how fast you'll get in shape when you're out there. I've had a couple weeks off and I feel jiggly and gross just because I haven't been out there enough. I got to get back to it and take a few weeks off. You feel like you're missing something and I know I am. So stop missing out. Start getting involved. Head on over there. Reactdefense.com that's the home Of Tactical Black Brady. Entertain Me.

[Byron]

George Clooney talked about the story. He almost booked the breakout role he had been waiting for. But along came mother effing Brad Pitt. He was in the final test role for a play, a role in film and Louise. Brad Pitt got it instead. He said he didn't watch it for years because he was annoyed by it, man. And he finally, years later, saw the film. He's like, brad knocked it out of the park.

[John Holmberg]

Thank God I wasn't in that.

[Byron]

But he. He landed er after that.

[John Holmberg]

He did okay, I think. I think. George sits in his house on Lake Cuomo and looks at his bank account that's nearing a billion dollars thanks to the tequila and all the other stuff he's involved and says, you know what? Oh, and then he polishes his Academy Awards. I'd say I could do without Thelma and Louise.

[Brett Vesely]

Plus he had Brad and all his ocean movie, so he's good.

[John Holmberg]

He ended up making Brightest Bitch. Yeah, he's in that. What was that terrible one nobody watched here recently? Wolves or whatever it's called?

[Brett Vesely]

I didn't see that one.

[John Holmberg]

No one did. No one sees movies anymore. You can't talk to anyone about movies anymore. I don't go. I mean, I'm guilty of it.

[Byron]

Speaking of, Rolling stones picks the 20 best movies of the year.

[John Holmberg]

There were 20 movies?

[Brett Vesely]

Probably don't know. 19 of them.

[John Holmberg]

I would bet you're right on board. Well, it's going to be a couple. Like that weird rock movie that everybody went nuts about and the Sydney Sweeney movie that everyone nuts, but no one saw. Not a soul.

[Byron]

One battle after another.

[John Holmberg]

That's a Leo DiCaprio one. Which is Hamnet. Three hours long hand.

[Brett Vesely]

What's that one about?

[John Holmberg]

What's happening?

[Byron]

It just came out. I. It's. I don't know much about it either. Black Bag.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Byron]

Train Dreams.

[John Holmberg]

Don't know it.

[Byron]

Nouvelle Vogue.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, nothing. Brett was right.

[Byron]

It was just an accident. No other choice. Hollywood's sorry, baby.

[John Holmberg]

I've heard of one.

[Byron]

Marty. Supreme Sentimental Value. Peter. Hugh Jar's Day.

[Brett Vesely]

These are like Hollywood's in trouble.

[Byron]

Yeah, these are like Eddington.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing.

[Byron]

Universal language. Best wishes for all.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing.

[Byron]

Orwell. Two plus two equals five.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, I say that all the time. Nope.

[Byron]

On becoming a Guinea Fowl.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, yeah, come on, we can hear you. I mean, that's as bad as calling me bald.

[Byron]

The Phoenician scheme.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing. I think we'd heard of that. Is that the new movie that Jeff Jr. Puts out? I don't know what that's called. He's in theaters. That's the only other guy caught by the tides. Nothing. Brittany might be right. One out of 20 so far.

[Byron]

Frankenstein.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, again, I didn't see that one. Yeah, Larry watched that. He watched Collect it.

[Byron]

Weapons. Well know that one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I saw weapons. I didn't care for weapons. Interesting. So I heard of three of the top 20 movies and I mean literally first time I've heard of those was them falling out of your gob right now.

[Brett Vesely]

What was the DiCaprio movie?

[Byron]

That was the one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

One battle after another.

[John Holmberg]

It's three hours long. Oh, I can't do it.

[Byron]

Evidently the Netflix documentary on Diddy, if they run it, Diddy's gonna sue him. But they say they legally got.

[John Holmberg]

That's more fun.

[Byron]

The interviews and everything was on the up and up.

[John Holmberg]

Speaking of lawsuits, I just told you guys this but it just was a story that came out Jada Pinkett Smith, Will Smith's wife has threatened a friend of her husband Will Smith and said that he will catch a bully it if he doesn't shut his mouth about her. And it's in a court document and they had to kind of go yeah she did tell him she would kill him if he kept talking about it. So now it's a. So she's getting sued for $3 million by this person who says he claimed he was Will's best friend for like 40 years. He wasn't DJ Jazzy Jeff though. Different guy. And they said he said Jada approached him with about seven other people in her entourage at a private party for Will's 53rd birthday and said got really aggressive and said she would he's going to end up missing or catch a bullet if he doesn't shut up about her. And then demanded he signed a non disclosure agreement about the the death threat. She's crazy. I mean how honestly how gay is Will to keep this beard alive or just come out and be gay already? We'd be. We'd be happy for you. You're married to a lunatic.

[Byron]

They're still together.

[John Holmberg]

Well they still make appearances is.

[Byron]

Evidently the Osbornes have a long standing beef with Roger. Walter Waters from Pink Floyd. Roger one and he's yeah winning like.

[John Holmberg]

Currently it's life but the rest of.

[Byron]

The Osborne's jack and basically just came out with a new shirt. Looks like a Pink Floyd. A brick in the wall. But it's another prick in the wall.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Byron]

And it has Aussie rules on top of it in the back it has basically the dude pissing the Rainbow.

[John Holmberg]

I see Peeing the Pink Floyd album.

[Byron]

It all comes from an interview that Roger Water said about Ozzy. Like, I don't understand. Never got it. His antics were stupid. His music was.

[John Holmberg]

No, Roger was a musical prick.

[Byron]

And Jack said, yeah, my. My dad never liked him from the get go. He's just a.

[John Holmberg]

He's not a.

[Byron]

He just use the C word.

[John Holmberg]

Like guy. He's. Yeah, he's rubbed everyone the wrong way. By the way, Kyle makes a good point. And it is clear with the new rulings about seeing bald in the workplace. Towards a man getting you in trouble with hr, he says, is it okay if you called Jada a bald? And it is. Because the way it's written is most of the sexual harassment part would be that it is aimed at men because we're the ones who. Who are, you know, 99% bald. Calling Jada bald, The C word's the problem. The bald thing's good. You can call her bald all you want, her husband might slap you, but that's it. You can't lose your job.

[Brett Vesely]

He probably calls her.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he calls her worse than that. Just in his pillow so he doesn't get stabbed in his sleep.

[Byron]

And PETA is asking Alice and Chains to temporarily change their name to Betty and Chains to raise awareness for the circus elephant that's been performing for over 50 years for the Cardon Circus.

[John Holmberg]

So they want.

[Byron]

They want the circus to retire the elephant. Put it in a nice little.

[John Holmberg]

Just acknowledge that the elephant has been imprisoned for half a century. By the way, Jada Pinkett Smith not hot enough to tolerate this stuff. Not even close. Will Smith had Margot Rob. I mean, he chose poorly, don't you think?

[Brett Vesely]

You know my answer?

[John Holmberg]

It's the world's answer to that. I mean, in a. In a battle royale of choose this versus that, if it's Margot Robbie, Jada Pickett Smith, like, what do we. This isn't even a game. Next. What are you doing?

[Byron]

Your name out of your mouth?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

What?

[John Holmberg]

I don't say. Yeah. I would slap somebody who gave me that option. Wait, Margot Robbie or Jada Pickett Smith? Who do I hit that put this team together? That's like Margot Robbie and Brady. That's as easy a decision to make as Brady.

[Byron]

It's a good couple.

[John Holmberg]

Brady. Jada Pinkett Smith is a little tougher because at least I know I'm going to enjoy my time with Brady. He's a little prude, but both are bald. I don't know. I take Brady. In fact, I have to think about it tells you all you need to know. Margot Robbie, Jada Pinkett Smith on that's it. We have no choice. Coming up next, Larry is coming in here. Don't slap him. Larry's got all sorts of good stuff for you. He's going to tell you about that in just moments. And all you guys have to do is listen. It's as simple as that. We will see you guys tonight at Copper Blues downtown, the Palladio finals and DJ Beth Sheba. We're gonna find out if she's real or she's a teenager who lives in a tough shed behind someone's house and pretends to be someone else. The catfishing will be revealed this evening as dream date or dud. And then the rest of them, without fear, sitting right in the room with us. Can't wait for that. The mess I made will be there. Graves of the Monument and the Thomas James Band. Hell of a show tonight. Gonna go to charity and help it out. Get drunk, have fun and goof around. Palladio 2026. Delayed but not forgotten tonight. We'll see you guys there. Larry's next, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.