Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 12/02/25 FULL SHOW (Tuesday)

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98 KUPD, Arizona)
Date: December 2, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Main Theme:
A riotously irreverent, laughter-filled takedown of holiday “charity terrorism,” smartphone parenting fails, medical breakthroughs in “butt breathing,” and a stroll through society’s inability to take anything seriously. Plus, anticipation for the Playdio 2025 Finals, relentless shots at baldness, and the usual mix of music, pop culture, and Arizona mayhem.

Episode Overview

The show opens as a typical Tuesday gets hijacked by John’s exasperation with relentless “charity terrorism”—people, apps, and QR codes that guilt shoppers at every store entrance during holiday fundraising season. The crew riff on social guilt, smart parenting (and dumb smartphone choices), bizarre medical news, and even take some pointed jabs at charity organizations, the NFL, and the state of modern entertainment.

Key Topics & Discussions

1. “Charity Terrorism” and Holiday Guilt (05:00–20:00)

- The Season of Taking

• John coins the term “charity terrorism” for holiday fundraisers at storefronts: “It’s not giving season, it’s the taking season” (12:41, John).
• He vents about being accosted by bell ringers/QR codes and how guilt, not generosity, is leveraged.
• “It’s hostage negotiation. That’s extortion. That’s not charity.” (11:20, John)
• Childhood fundraising anecdotes: from kidnapped kids to modern parents selling at work for their kids’ sports trips.
• “You should give because you want to, and you should feel good after you do.” (05:25, John)

- Salvation Army NFL Moments

• Memorializing Ezekiel Elliott’s 2016 Salvation Army kettle touchdown.
• John: “That was a commercial! They never frown on that.” (05:59)

2. The Dark Side of Modern Parenting: Smartphones and Kids (29:00–37:00)

• The crew lampoon studies about kids under 12 getting smartphones and a skyrocketing risk of depression, obesity, and poor socialization.
• John: “If you gave a kid under 12 a smartphone, Columbia says start over – that one’s toast.” (32:35)
• Parental hypocrisy: “Every time I see a parent hand a kid an iPad at dinner, it’s like they’re done with them.” (35:19, John)
• Parenting by avoidance (“I don’t want you here. Disappear into this thing…”)
• “We just played Problem Child, Brett. High five.” (34:06, John)

3. Charity Scams, CEO Salaries, and the Business Side of Giving (43:00–47:00)

• John relays eye-opening experiences running fundraising events: “We raised $7 million for stroke association…and we missed our budget by $3 million!” (43:20)
• Shocking charity leader salaries: “The ‘We Love Cancer’ CEO makes $5.7 million. Cancer’s as big a business as it is a disease.” (46:37, John)
• Encourages giving to transparent causes where donors see real impact (esp. for military families).

4. The Goliath Expedition: A 27-Year Walk Across the Planet (59:00–72:00)

• John details the almost-finished quest of Carl Bushby, who walked 30,000 miles from South America to Romania over 27 years.
• Mocking the futility and loneliness: “For what? So I can tell you I did it?” (61:17, John)
• “I bet he did this to impress a girl who’s now 52 and doesn’t care.” (64:19, John)
• Math: “30,000 miles in 27 years? That’s three miles a day—dude sucks.” (71:54, John).
• “We don’t marvel at anything, that’s a marvelous achievement.” (69:43)

5. Cutting-Edge (and Hilarious) Medical News: “Butt Breathing” (47:44–57:33)

• Japanese stem-cell doctor invents a medical enema that oxygenates blood via the rectum.
• John: “Butt breathing is real and no one marveled at it. Everyone immediately asked if you could smoke weed through your ass.” (54:05)
• Joke barrage: “Can we reverse fart, too? Will this change my breath?” (51:49, John)
• Societal takeaway: “We are no longer a society that deserves nice things. We just want to stuff weed in it.” (57:33)

6. Baldness Joins the Protected Class (127:20–134:04)

• A UK court rules that calling a man “bald” is sexual harassment.
• John: “Bald is our new n-word. Only bald guys get to use it!” (129:16)
• “You look like a toilet seat… you’re bald, so quit it.” (134:04)

7. AI-Generated Music and The Fall of Modern TV/Movie Entertainment (146:05–159:44)

• Vamping on AI recreating hit songs in soul/funk style (“No Rain” as a Motown jam has Holmberg giggling).
• Rolling Stone’s “Best Movies of the Year” list: The team mocks the unrecognizable titles.
• Millie Bobby Brown’s adulting undermines Stranger Things’ 1980s premise: “She was eight when this started. Now she’s 30, and it’s still 1987!” (158:00)
• General lament that modern pop culture feels played out.

8. Listener Stories, Musical Segments, and Local Content (81:00–124:00)

• Recap and preview of Playdio 2025 (local band/music competition), including the ongoing mystery of DJ Bathsheba.
• Touching story of a listener donating $500 after his ladder was saved by mysterious “elves” (a.k.a. Mexicans).
• Lively music picks, animal videos, and more—HMS style.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

“It’s not giving season, it’s the taking season. You’re not giving because you want to. You’re just dodging a guilt trip.”
— John Holmberg (12:41)

“If homeless people stood outside and begged for money the entire year… we’d call it a nuisance—and we do.”
— John Holmberg (11:19)

“If you gave a smartphone to a child before 12, Columbia says: Start again, that one’s toast.”
— John Holmberg (32:35)

“The ‘We Love Cancer’ CEO makes $5.7 million. Cancer’s as big a business as it is a disease.”
— John Holmberg (46:37)

“Butt breathing is real! And no one marveled at it. Everyone immediately asked if you could smoke weed through your ass.”
— John Holmberg (54:05)

“Bald is our new N-word. Only we can use it. It’s our B-word now.”
— John Holmberg (129:16)

Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|---------| | 05:00 | Charity Terrorism, Storefront Guilt, Salvation Army NFL ads | | 29:00 | Smartphones, Kids & Mental Health, Parenting by iPad | | 43:00 | The Business of Giving, Charity Scams & CEO Salaries | | 47:44 | Medical Breakthrough: Butt Breathing, and Societal Reactions | | 59:28 | The Goliath Expedition (27-Year Walk) | | 81:00 | Playdio Preview, Band Finals, Listener Stories | | 127:20 | “Bald” as Harassment, HR Rulings | | 146:05 | AI Music, Rolling Stone’s “Best Movies,” Pop Culture Takes |

Tone & Style

• Loose, quick-witted, and irreverent: John’s rants blend outrage with self-mockery. The team trades barbs and snappy one-liners, frequently lampooning modern sensitivities, societal trends, and local quirks.
• Local flavor: Arizona references and listener engagement are constant.
• Notable Edginess: Some language, jokes, and analogies are intentionally provocative—not for the easily offended.
• Listener interaction: Multiple e-mails and stories drawn from the community.

Final Thoughts

This HMS episode skewers the phony charity “holiday guilt,” questions the effectiveness of modern parenting and charities, mocks society’s inability to marvel at innovation (especially when there’s an opportunity to make a “weed through your ass” joke), and wears its contrarian local-morning-radio credentials with pride. Amidst the cathartic venting, the show’s heart comes out—supporting military families, paying tribute to loyal listeners, and reminding everyone to give with intention, not guilt.

— End of Summary —