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Brett
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
John
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Brett
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Miles
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Brett
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John
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You thought that was funny?
You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?
Good morning everybody.
Brady
Hello there.
John
Welcome to Wednesday. It is 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's big Dick Toledo. We're ready to go. Hold on. And we're off and running for this glorious show.
Brett
Those late nights.
John
It is. Well, it is. Yeah. It's a breathing. The cool air, too. It didn't help. I had the windows open. Everything. So. Yeah. And screaming and yelling at people last night. We had our big the Palladio super party last night. The five fans, the finalists that were there. And all in all went well. I was ultimately Mad at DJ Beth Sheba for not having the, I don't know, confidence, I guess. She kept telling me, I'm a bad performer. I'm like, stop saying that. And she was, you know, so she was very shy. Come off super shy. And it was like, come on. It was kind of was a neat moment in the room because you felt like the whole room had her back. Like, just go. And she was. Yeah, she was scared to go forward. And then afterwards I talked to her, I'm like, will you please just go, oh, I don't perform. I'm like, shut up. It's hard to watch somebody that talented not believe in themselves, but the other bands did, and they went up there and just flat kicked ass. It was fun. It was a good night. Thanks. Copper Blues and everybody who popped by and everything that happened, it's another one. And then today is the day we will then.
Crown, crown a champion, Crown a winner to do our theme song. And then at the end of the night, the gang from Katie and the Hobbs came by miles to Noah the the theme song for this year, last year's champion, and said that they were going to enter the contest this year and have just written the song they were going to use as our theme song for next year as their entry. And I'm like, that would have probably been an auto win. It was just hilarious and well done. And they said they were in the middle of doing other stuff, so she couldn't get it.
Brett
I told Kristen.
John
I'm like, you got it. You should have did that.
Miles
I know.
Brett
But yeah, she tours with another band too.
John
Like, oh, I didn't know that either.
Brett
Does sound or lights or something. They just. She just got back into town like a week or two ago. She wasn't sure she's gonna make it.
John
I liked everybody we had. The Thomas James Band was great. Graves of the Monuments was just. They went up there and putting it out there. Clobbered everybody with sound. And then the mess I made without fear and DJ Bathsheba went crazy. DJ Bathsheba has a story, man. She had breast cancer a couple years ago. She was in the foster program when she was younger and just kept going. She's got a charity she told me about called eyeslikemine inc.org and it's basically a charity you can look into for foster program and all that other stuff. Doesn't get you foster kids, but it helps out the stuff like that. And then you start talking to them like you've been through it all. The reason she's a truck Driver. We were making fun last week that her friend said she's driving a semen truck. Well, he. And the. One of the worst misspellings in an email ever meant cement truck.
Brady
Yeah.
John
But his phone autocorrected to semen truck. And I said, you know, that means you spell semen and off, like, a lot more than you spell cement. And so he said the only reason she was doing that is because after she had her surgery for breast cancer, the only thing she could do is drive. Like, keep her hands in front of her and drive. And she goes, well, I might as well get a job doing that, Doing something with that. And she ends up driving trucks. Pretty awesome. That's. There's some ambition behind that.
Brady
You know, her other. Her other trucking job because she can handle the big rigs. And the company that she's working for, none of the guys can do it. They're gold miners.
John
We're up in Montana and Alaska here. We have gold miners here.
Brady
I guess so.
John
Not the lost ball, Willie.
Miles
Right.
Brady
Are they panning?
John
Yeah, we're not talking about.
Brady
No, like, lottery drives the. A rig over there so they can hit, you know, dig around that.
John
Do you know what that's called? It's called the glory hole. Where is it? We have a gold mine Glory hole.
Brady
You don't say where the.
John
Sure you do. If there's people driving, it's like fight club.
Brett
You don't talk about it.
John
Yeah, well, she was talking about it like, that's you.
Brett
It's Brady. Come on.
John
Oh, that's true. She understand. He's not gonna ask any questions. There was. So there's a big gold mine Glory hole somewhere nearby.
Brady
I don't know about big gold mine.
Brett
I told you it didn't matter.
John
But they need a truck to haul things back and forth. That's a pretty big mine.
Miles
Yeah.
Brady
Or they need to get the. To be able to pull a certain rig over there to help.
Miles
Right.
John
That's what I'm saying. So we got us a big glory hole somewhere around here. Okay, see, that's your story. I'm asking. You didn't ask her, like, where is it?
Brady
No.
John
Oh, how does it get through that? You didn't care where it was. I gotta. You've cared enough to tell us there's a gold mine.
Brady
I just want to know if they're panning and I could join them.
John
Well, that's not a gold mine. That's just. And prospecting. Gold mining. Like in the hole in the earth? Yeah. There's a truck involved, so she runs gold back and forth.
Brady
I don't think she's running the gold. I think she's just operating the equipment form man.
John
All right. I could watch that. That's interesting. I need to know where this gold mine is. All right, well. Well, we'll ask the pertinent questions. But thanks for the tip of the iceberg, Brady. Jesus Christ.
Be tough to be Brady's significant other because he takes you right to the edge and then goes to sleep. I haven't. I wanted to. I wanted to finish that story. My God. Well, anyway, so she's truck driver.
Brady
I don't know what to believe from her. She said she's a performer.
John
Yeah. She said she's not a performer.
Brady
I know.
John
She kept saying she wasn't a performer anyway.
Brady
Then what are you doing?
John
Yeah. Then why'd you dress up and get on stage? Get up there and do. Yeah. The other bands were great. And our own little John Gordon here, we didn't even know that he was in the contest until we played the song like, this is John Gordon's being like, what the. And those guys crushed it. They were great. There's a lot of good stuff that happened last night. And we'll have the. The new champion crowned later today.
Brady
Very calm under pressure too.
Freddie
Jg.
Brady
When his guitar all of a sudden. Was it getting power? He could have thrown a fit.
John
Yeah, well, that's part of the gig up there. We always have.
Brady
I thought it been cool to see him chuck a guitar at the.
Brett
I think John Gordon can throw a fit. The most mild manner guy ever.
Brady
He hand.
John
Oh, he did. He did. I mean, I'm always up for a good guitar. Chucking at a sound guy. It seems unreasonable for even though it's not his fault. Well, sometimes it is, sometimes it's not. But still it seems like a crime more than anything else. Just like. You'll get past it. You've had some sound issues. But yeah, it was great. Everybody. Everybody did a good job and we had fun. And we packed the place on a Tuesday night. So happy for everybody to come by. Raised a couple bucks for the Humane Society, which I'll match. It's not crazy. And I'll throw in a match on last night's money. It's like 400 bucks, right?
Brady
Yeah.
John
So we'll make it a little bit more. That's pretty great. And help out the Humane Society.
Brett
There's a couple people just came over and. Hey, where's that bucket at him?
Brady
I don't know.
Brett
I think they're. Put this in Your envelope all right.
John
Yeah. We had a. We had a bucket at the door, except for the door guy was standing on the other side of the room. So nobody knew where to go. And they're just giving us money. I had people wandering up to me going, here you go. I felt like I was at your. One of your family functions.
Brett
What happens?
John
Here you go. And somebody. And I'm like, why are you giving me money? Did we. Did we bet on something? Like, no. For the dogs. I'm like, oh, so let me put. And I'm just giving it to you. I'm like, I'm gonna lose this. I think I gave some to Larry.
Brady
I didn't notice. Brett was collecting money. And Brett would say, you're protected.
John
Yeah, thank you. God bless. That's all I kept hearing. I'm like, are you.
Miles
What.
John
What's going on behind you? And then Brett's just licking, counting cash. But yeah, it was great. And we. So we raised a couple bucks. We had a good time. And we'll let you know somewhere around 8:30 this morning, who gets the two grand. Who gets crowned Pallio champion 2026, so to speak. And gets to write our theme song. And then we'll be part of this show every single morning we're on live. We will play the theme song that they write for us. And we only have what, eight or nine shows left this year for Miles to Nowhere song, which is. It's a crowd favorite. People were bringing it up last night. I'm like, I. I sing that stupid song sometimes.
And I always sing it like, can't go to Forkopolis cause it's closed homebrew. I'm like, in my backyard. I'm going, are you kidding me? Is that still in my head? It's Sunday afternoon. So it was a catchy one. You got your. The bar has been set high. And we'll. We'll find out if they can match it or, you know, make a fool of themselves. And then for the entire year, they'll be remembered as the band made a fool themselves. They said, Table Mesa. I'm getting these. Table Mesa has a gold pit, small gold mine up by Crown King that actually ruined the entire road and river. I know there's mines out there by Table Mesa Road. When you take your off road stuff, there's a couple of mines, but they look abandoned. Like I don't like a gold mine. When I watch on TV the glory hole guys, the things they're doing huge holes in the earth, like massive. So I'm looking For that, I want to be part of it. Maybe that's what I want to do when I'm done here. Hang around Glory Hole.
Brady
That island, that haunted island. It is just went on for, like, four or five years. It's on.
John
Like, I think it's Scooby Doo. Thinking of a Scooby Doo.
Brett
Old man Withers.
John
Yeah. That was not real birdie. That was the. The kids broke that up. Old man. Yeah. Old Man Withers was just fooling him to distract him to. And he gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for their meddling. No, I don't know anything about the Haunted island of Gold. I do know that Scooby and Shaggy were involved in that. Were there also zombie pirates on this island? Programs, Zombie pilots? Haunted island of Gold. It was. I think it was one of those DVD movies that they made. I don't know anything about that. But you'd think. You'd think that having lived here for as long as we have, we'd know something about a gold mine or a glory hole. Know about copper, but, yeah, that's all they suck out of the earth here is copper. And that's all I knew. There's nothing beautiful about where they're doing that. I want to see gold pop out of those golden them hills.
Google search it. But be careful.
Brett
If I want that on my search, I was.
John
I Google searched some stuff last night, then fell onto the. The article about a guy who was searching. You know, he did cheating wife porn and stuff like that. He liked the ones where the wife was not supposed to be doing what she was doing. And they're using it in court today. And I'm like, why do I know this name? It's the Brandon Walsh. Not Brandon Walsh. That's a guy from 902 and O'. Brien. Walsh. Brian Walshy or Walsh. He's the dude that, three years ago, his wife disappeared, and then he went into Home Depot with gloves on and bought a hatchet and some baking soda. I seen one of the murder shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then went right back to his computer that night and said, can a body decompose in plastic? Like, searching Google. He didn't even, like, try to hide it or go at least to a friend's house. He did it right on his own. And they said, how do you get blood out of wood floors? And what's the best way to clean that to avoid luminolo? Like, everything you'd do if you killed someone. And the trial started this week, and now they're using the other thing against him, which was his fetish for cheating wife porn, and so he'd search that. I mean, if they're going to start you there should be. That should be off limits. You should be allowed to have your porn searches, not ever apply to your personality, because it's just not. Nobody's into stepmothers for real, are they? Like, you can't really say. Well, and then he did this, like, no, no, we all know those are fake. And cheating wife porn isn't actual cheating wife porn or women stuck in dryers or under beds. That's not a real thing. If it just so happens Mathias gets stuck in a dryer and dies, they go through your Internet and go, this guy loved women stuck in dryers. I bet he put her there. That's not fair. I think that should be legally off limits.
Brady
Was that easy for them to track down with the end of the year YouTube recaps?
John
Yeah, maybe it had his thing that popped up and said, here's your Spotify, your top five searches. Well, he hit it pretty hard. And it was after. It was on January 1st, so they caught him somewhere. But it would have been really good if his last search for the. For the new year or the old year was just all that. But, yeah, he's an idiot. And I didn't know this about him before he got caught for. Well, he didn't murder his wife. They've never found the body. He said that he did dismember her and he won't tell him where it is. So he's just basically saying he handled the corpse poorly and that she got. She died suddenly and he panicked.
Brett
Rookies.
John
That's a. That's a murder. Yeah. Dying suddenly, and then the guy with you panics and cut you up. Even if you. Even if he was telling the truth at that point, you got to go to jail for murder for that one. Right? Brett died. Right now, the last thing Brady and I would do is go, oh, my God. We'll cut him up and hide him. Like I'd be. It's a pretty easy get out. If she just died suddenly and you wanted to go, you call the cops and go, I think she's dead. And then you take your chances without going to the Internet. But he went to the Internet. He was selling fake Andy Warhols to people at work prior to chopping his wife up. But I'm pretty sure we're wasting everybody's time with a trial. This is like three years later, and we're going down his Internet history today. The one you got him on. I mean, how can you. You go into the trial and you just basically say, here's his Internet history the day after she went missing. The prosecution rests. Like, there's nothing more I can do than, how do you get the blood out of floors? And your bodies decompose in plastic. All you got on the other side is, well, they never found her. But he even said, yeah, I chopped her up. I was just afraid you killed her, then. No, no, no, I didn't kill her. That's a madman's move. Chopping her up is the craziest part of the whole thing. Killing is less weird than chopping her up.
Brady
You go through that whole process. It's like that kid that killed the CEO.
John
Yeah. Luigi Mangione.
Brady
Yeah, yeah. They're going with. They didn't read him the Miranda.
John
No, they're trying to get him out. Yeah, right. There's no question he did what he did. He's pleading guilty to most of it, but they're saying add some technicalities. Those things you kind of have to do.
Brady
Could you imagine if. Oh, yeah, we forgot to do that. I mean.
John
Yeah, well, he wasn't properly Mirandized. He did get them, but not until later. And there's a bunch of goofs with that. And if they goof that up. That's the way it works. There's guys who've gotten away with, you know, less high profile than that. But, yeah, if you're on a. Again, if Brett says, oh, my God, this person I love very much passed away, like, what'd you do? Oh, I immediately chopped them up and hid them. Like, well, then that's the worst part. That's the worst part of it. I'd rather someone kill me than, you know, suffer a heart attack or something and then know that they chopped up my body and stuffed it in some hole. Maybe it was that glory hole. Brady doesn't know where it is. But if you've got porn searches and they're going to be used, and I think that's much like the Miranda stuff. Inadmissible in court. Your brain will do all sorts of goofy stuff. When you're on pornhub and get you into some stuff, you're like, whoa. Because there's been, like, Lia Silver is a porn star that I've searched before, and she does. Yeah, go ahead and give her a look.
Brett
I will.
John
And she's got, like, a tattoo that I like. Very pretty girl. Haven't. Haven't been on her page for a while, but there's a couple of them in there where she gets involved with another guy with a ton of tattoos. And so I clicked on heard thing thinking it was them and it wasn't. And he was doing something horrible to a girl. And there's one that I saw that was a simulated assault. And the girl was at home and her stepbrother wanted to watch TV and she wanted to work out in the same room. And he got mad and he got pretty violent with her to where I actually turned it off. Like this is too much. But it's still in my history. You know, there's. Yeah, there's Laius over Brett founder. She's good. That's a good one right there.
Brett
Nice kill.
John
But she was doing some stuff with a guy and then I accidentally went on to his pages and he's horrible to people, like with punching and throatin. And doesn't mean I liked it. Can we at least say that we. You know, we should have to do. Review each video afterwards. We should be forced to say how'd we do?
Brett
Like it's like a Google review. Yeah.
John
But I stars.
Brady
And you know who's reviewing porn now? IRS agents.
John
Well, they've been doing it the whole time.
Brady
The tips.
John
Oh. For the new law.
Brady
They have to. If they're making money, they have to determine whether it's pornographic or not. Because they have like on only fans. A lot of times there's an activity where it's not pornographic. Well. And if they're collecting money on it.
John
So they're going to define what pornography is.
Brett
This is definitely.
John
That's pornography. Correct. Brady. If I gave her a dollar or two for. I mean. Or is he just doing an anal exam? I don't know what this is. That's pretty good stuff. Lies.
Brett
I'm putting that on Facebook. A couple dollars.
Brady
Look at that.
John
Yeah, that's pretty fantastic.
Brady
Unless she's checking the prostate there. But you know.
John
Oh. And she probably does at one point or another make sure that his prostate is healthy. And that's a good.
Brady
That's a medical.
John
Yeah. That's a lucky man to have found her. I think you can write that off. She's a doctor and she loves him.
Brett
He's lucky to have found her.
John
But I've seen some porn that's on my.
Brett
So are both of those guys.
John
Yeah. Oh, no, two at. She's. You know what? She was running busy in the lobby that day.
Brett
She doesn't want people waiting.
John
No. She's a giver. And she wants to make sure that these guys get Their exams. But bottom line is, there's stuff I'm sure that you've watched on pornhub, that if something went sideways in you and they went through your history, be like, oh, you're into that, huh? But maybe you didn't like it. Maybe while you were watching. I'm like, oh, I hated that. Kimmy Granger did a video once where she got beat up in the whole thing. And I. I was like, I don't like this at all. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD, Holmberg's morning sickness. But I watched all the way through. I didn't. I wasn't doing anything on the other end. Was like, how do they end this? And she was violated fairly. I don't know.
Brady
Did you go back online and ask the questions?
John
No, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. But still, they're not saying that he didn't go back and ask anything. He just had, you know, cheating wife porn. Like, oh, he's into that. A. And Evan. And he was worried that she was cheating. And I don't know what the heck was going on when he cut her up. But.
Yeah, there's Kimmy crazier. Brett's finding them all.
Brett
I'm trying to help Brady out here. He needs the visuals. He's a visual kind of guy.
John
Yeah, that's Kimmy and I. You know, and the worst part is, is I wanted to find that video again later because I'm like, you got to see this. Not going to believe what I saw here.
Miles
She.
John
I mean, the guy's actually, like, swinging on her.
Brett
Oh, yeah. I don't like that.
John
I don't want to see that. But I wanted to see it again to show friends that it was a thing.
It looks like I went back to it a couple of times. Didn't mean I liked it. I just couldn't believe it. Can you imagine if they searched your work emails? If you. If, you know, God forbid, Matthias came up missing and then ended up in seven different parts of the state. And they searched and then listened to the show and said, oh, I made fun of them all the time for dismembering bodies. And they just took that for. This dude was. You know, he's guilty of what he did, but you can't go to his pornhub searches. That's where your brain's allowed to do whatever it wants. That's. That's like your imagination getting you in trouble. It's like being in North Korea you can't have that. What am I supposed to do? Just Puritan nuns. And even then, if I start searching nuns on pornhub, I think so. Give it a. Give it a look. See, but if you look for nuns on pornhub, just don't search anything as it pertains to just fine stories and search recipes and. But never, ever, ever ask about ropes or hatchets or.
Brett
Or go to the library. Use their computers.
John
See, like. Like last night, I felt like somebody Mickeyed me. My head spun. I didn't feel right. I wasn't drinking a lot. There's nuns. Britt found some nuns doing. And it's prostate. Is that what you wrote?
Brett
You told me that.
John
I was like, all right, Puritan Nunporn is actually now part of our. Of our lives. Well, damn it. And see, this is where you go and show your friends. And if some nun shows up missing, like, oh, she's gone. And Brett was around that none the day before, they go through your Internet. Next thing you know, they think you're into this. That nun's hot. Oh, I've never said that before.
That nun is hot. Holy smokes. All right. Puritan nunpore.
Brett
Oh.
John
All right, turn that off. That's a very distracting nun Sister Mary Jugs. Yeah. Very desert. So. Yeah. But last night I was like, somebody got. Somebody put something in my drink because I don't get hangovers. I don't get head things like. So I googled. How long does it take for roofies to kick in? Well, if somebody I know gets roofied, they're gonna look at my Internet and go over you searching that for. I was like, I thought I got roofied. Oh, did you? Then? Well, I didn't roof anybody. Now you're defensive and it's over. That. That's a. It's a terrible invention, this Google box. Nobody needs that thing around anymore. So just go through your search history. Maybe just trash your computer, get all new IP talking about routers, putting it.
Brady
In your head now with a neuro link.
John
Oh, yeah. What's gonna happen when they dig into.
Brady
Plug it in?
John
Well, there's a black mirror episode where they can rewind your memory. Oh, and things you saw. It's like, that's not actually accurate. Let's go back in your memory and rewind it. And it rewinds the whole thing. It's like, oh, yeah, I guess that did happen that way. I saw it a different way. And it's all chipped. It goes into the database, the national database, and everybody can see your Memories. If they. It's bad. Any court case was all memories. It's terrifying. And of course, there was a chopped up body and a missing person in a trash, like in a bucket. And they went back on the people's memories and saw that they lied about a truck that they had. It's a good black mirror, is a great one. Pretty much anything you can think of that would horrify you for the future. They've done an hour episode on it. But that rewinding memory thing, we sit and giggle at it. Very real neuralink goes in your head, I don't know, the next few years, and the next thing you know, you're going to have somebody able to check into it. Or you can show someone memories as often as people send memes to each other. Imagine if you could send what you saw without pictures. Like, you know, I saw a guy who looked like he was from Song of the south crossing the road the other day. Big, gray beard, bald, whistling. There were birds nearby him, although they weren't birds, I think they were flies. Very, very homeless, very poor. And he had like two bags over his shoulders, tattered pants. I'm like, that dude is the guy from Song of the South. And I tried to get a good picture and I couldn't. I was gonna send it to you morons, but if I could take mental snapshots with my neuralink and send you guys the whole thing with my commentary, you'd have died laughing.
So I would love to do it. But the downside, would you volunteer for that? If they said, hey, we'll put the neural link in, it's free. Which want to test you out. No, you wouldn't do it. I think I would. I think I'd be on it. But I, I signed like a disclosure. An NDA would have to be like, you can't use any of this. No matter what I think, say or see, this can never be used against me unless I physically kill a person. Things that are going on in my head can never be used against me in a court of law. Then I'll put it in there, because that's the only reason to invent it is to stop crime altogether. It's the only way.
Brady
You're just saying it surprised me that you jump right into it.
John
I do that. Yeah. Well, I don't plan any saying that.
Brady
You know, I wouldn't do it on the premise of, look, I'm not trusting anyone right off the bat on that, you're immediately saying, I trust this person.
John
Well, I'm saying That I trust that I'm not going to do anything.
Brady
Medical field or what? What is the mission behind this?
John
That doesn't bother me.
Brady
I know.
John
Yeah. Whatever. I'm not like a type. I don't want, you know, question a person in general. Sure. Absolutely. I'm not into government interference, but if it's some company. If Elon Musk said, let me put this in your head, and I'm like, well, I'd ask some questions. I wouldn't.
Brady
I'd want to hear about it first rather than like, sign me up.
John
If he's just like, you get to rewind your memories and you can see things and just like, take a look at yesterday. Like, okay.
Brady
And it's.
John
It's just me. It's like, yeah. And I can't share it. And nobody can tap into this. I'm like, everything can be broken into, but for the most part.
Brady
And that's all you're gonna do, right? Oh, yeah.
Miles
Yeah.
John
I can't. You can't see him. If someone else can see him, and they probably could, that would be the whole purpose.
Brady
It's basically handing over your. Your phone.
John
Yeah, I wouldn't go that far. I would basically. So you can see my thoughts. Because I'd like people to see that. I don't want them to see my texts. That's actual work. If my brain's doing it, I'm like, I can't control that.
Brady
Right.
John
But if I had. Yeah. My tax and things like that. I'm not handing over messages to other people. That's private, but public. Like, for me, if I'm driving down the road and I just see, you know, Brett giving a hand job to a homeless guy, I'm going to watch that. I'm going to rewind that and laugh for hours and show you.
Brett
Yeah, but your texts are part of your brain, so you.
John
It's going to come through.
Brett
You got to think about what you're texting. So now.
John
Well, I wouldn't have to text anymore.
Brett
Yeah, but your brain's still got to do it. So if neuralinks read the random.
John
Oh, the random thoughts would get me thrown in jail. Yeah. I screwed just driving. The things I think about, the people in the cars near me. Terrible.
Brady
That link would last all of two minutes. We're gonna have to put you away.
Miles
Wow.
John
You. You, sir a psychopath. Like, I don't.
Brett
Comes the long coat.
John
Yeah, I would probably. Yeah. I mean, it literally put me on the freeway at rush hour and I'm. I'd kill hundreds of People in my brain, I do it all the time, and I imagine their deaths big time.
Brady
It's like plugging in, Call of Duty or grand theft.
John
Yeah, I think I would. I think I'd still be interested in it just to see how it got.
Brett
No way.
John
I'd be like the Neil Armstrong of it. It's gonna happen. We're eventually gonna end up with it. So I don't think. I think I would do it. It's bigger than just your phone, you know, and we've already given up so much of ourselves with the phone. It's not like everybody sits next. Like, no way. They. They've got every keystroke you've ever made.
Brett
Oh, yeah.
John
So it's. And it's all stored in that giant place in Utah. We've already given it up. You know, ask the dude who's on trail for dismembering his wife. He didn't know that they had the ability to go see what he's watched on pornhub. They found it in a day. It's like, yeah, this is what he likes.
Brady
Everyone owns duct tape.
John
Yeah. And a hatchet and shovel and a mask and a shovel. He bought all the plastic bags. What are you doing there, Todd? It's New Year's Eve. Nothing.
Brett
Just landscaping.
Miles
Just. Yeah.
John
Getting a lot of fun projects. I'm off for a couple more days and. Is Anna helping you out? No, no, no. She's. I think she's at her mother's. I haven't seen her for a couple days. I don't know. This is her piling up. We'll see.
Brady
She's tied up.
John
She's a busy gal. I don't see her as much as I used to. I think we should all get used to not seeing her a lot. She said she's gonna stay real busy. Anyway. I gotta go. Then he digs a hole and they still can't find her. He was so sloppy with searching out how to kill her and how to get rid of her that they saw all of it and they still don't know where she is. That was the one thing he was great at. Is the hiding spot.
Pretty awesome.
Brady
And that was by mistake.
John
And that was probably just the only thing he didn't search. He's like, nobody will ever look. He's like, it's probably like Easter eggs at that guy's house. Nobody's found in years. He's a good hider, but he's really bad searching details. And if you went to that point, wouldn't you Just say, look, I cut her up, put her in a bag. I don't remember where she is, but I have a pretty good idea. Like, wouldn't you just give in at that point? Yeah, I would do that. I would. It's almost game tape, you know, you go home, you got the neural link in your head, and you have a day, and then you go home and like, all right, let's take a look at today and see what I could have done better. And you just watch your day back and review. Yeah, it was a bad conversation. I came off as a real jackass there. I need to. I apologize to that guy tomorrow. And then just go back and see who you need to say you're sorry to. And then you go through your thoughts file.
Brady
Well, there's a whole day of saying I'm sorry.
John
Yeah, that would be a whole day. Every day. You know, I reviewed my tape yesterday, and, wow, I was a real dickhead to you. I apologize.
Brady
Thank you.
John
That means a lot to me.
Miles
Well, you.
John
You could apologize, too, you know, and then later that day. I shouldn't have gone that far. I gotta apologize again right after I go through the thoughts file. And then that would be the worst part, is, like, if women at work, and you're talking to them and stuff, and then they're like, let's take a look at your neuralink. And we had that conversation. I'm like, probably not the best idea. All right, let's go. And then you put your thoughts, like.
Brady
The old commercial where they challenge the flat challenge on argument.
John
Yeah.
Miles
Yeah.
John
You make the call.
Brady
Yep.
John
And then the whole time you're remembering the conversation. She's got, like, a broomstick in her because you imagined her doing horrible stuff to herself while she was talking about that boring topic of whether or not this client's coming over or what you've got to do.
And then maybe I would manipulate neuralink and think crazy things on purpose just to show you idiots I could make neuralink work. All right, I'm on the list. I volunteer for it. I'm in 100%.
I got nothing to hide. Except that thing last night when I searched. How long does it take for roofies to kick in? That can get you in trouble. That's a lot of explaining. Yeah, I've never. I've been poisoned once before. Drinking, it was vodka, and I ended up in a picnic table in San Jose. That's a true story. Or it was weird.
Brett
Do you know.
John
Yeah. I did not know my way out of where I was. I don't know how I got where I was, but I know. And my friend was poisoned as well, and he got lost, I think. We got picked up and dropped off at a park. My. My no blood anus was intact.
Brady
You had a nice little nap.
John
I felt fine. I slept on a picnic table for a while. A Mexican ground crew woke me up. I don't know how the people I was with found me, because that was, like, four miles from the venue we started at. I don't know how it happened. And we drove home, and both of us looked at each other and said, we didn't drink that much. We're better at drinking than this. And that was the only time when I'm like, this is not a normal. Have you ever been roofied?
Brett
No, It's.
John
It's not that bad. She has. Yeah. She. She and I were talking about it. That's one time that she got hit, and she's been. It was a couple, wasn't it?
Brett
She's got hit twice, I think.
John
Weren't you there for one of them?
Brett
I. Yeah, it was right after. Right after the week after my mom passed, and I showed up, and she's being hauled away, and I'm like, what the.
John
Oh, that's right.
Brett
It wasn't.
John
She, like, went out at the bar.
Brett
Yeah, she was there just hanging out. She wasn't working or anything. She's just hanging out.
John
I forgot about that one.
Brady
Wow.
John
Well, the tactical black, that's. We've talked about that. One of the things they tell the women all the time is, never, ever leave your drink alone.
Brady
Tara Reid said that.
John
Well, Tara Reid is a perfect example. Just never, ever drink. Never, ever leave your drink is. Yeah. Don't ever have it out of. Don't ever have anybody. If somebody brings you one, hey, I bought you a drink that you don't know.
Brett
You don't.
John
Don't. Yeah. Even sometimes the ones you do know.
It'S crazy.
Brett
I got a friend that she. When she goes to a bar, she won't drink anything but bottled beer. So she can keep her thumb over the top. Yep.
John
Smart. Yeah. Keep it in the bottle. But some people, like, they'll bring a drink to you. I got two for the ladies, and they'll put them down there and, like, never drink those. The only people that I could figure would have poisoned me were Katie and the Hobbs, because at the end of the night, they wanted to do a shot, and I've never done a pickleback before, and I. I loved it. It was phenomenal. It's Jameson's followed by pickle juice. It was great. I don't think they'd poison me. Maybe now. No, they wouldn't poison me. Right? I don't need.
Brett
I don't know, but maybe it's DJ Beth Sheba.
John
I didn't drink with her. Not got nothing from them. There's John Gordon. Hey. That little prick.
Brett
Maybe it was Larry.
John
Did Larry get a one of them green drinks?
Brett
They didn't have it. Oh, he was just drinking water.
John
Oh, Larry.
Brett
It was Tripp.
John
Did Tripp get a green drink?
Brett
No, he might have tripped.
John
Poisoned you. Just so I would. Yeah. I'll find him laying on the ground later. Yeah, then he's mine.
Ass up my favorite way.
Brady
Look what I found.
John
Look what I made.
I did wake up with gray hairs all over me. Well, there you go. God damn it. I just thought I was getting older. They brushed right off. Did someone. Did someone cover me in loose cotton?
Brady
Get a Bel Air CC imprint on your forehead?
John
This is mark of Zorro. You've been country clubbed anyway. If you've ever been roofied. Be careful. I don't. That was. It's weird, but I'm pretty sure I got hit because I don't. I don't have that issue where I just go like, oh, God, spin. Had a little euphoria and then I was out.
I don't know what happened, but my ass feels okay. So no matter what they did, I'm going to the doctor for it to have him go. Did you ever notice that your ass was bigger than it? No, I didn't. And I don't need to know that now, so.
Brett
Well, it wasn't Lex Steele that roofied you, right?
John
At least it was a small man.
Brady
You would have known.
John
At least it was a man who left me. It must have been one of those Native American guys from that band because they left me the way they found me. They only footprints and took only memories.
I don't know. But I worried about it. I feel fine now. But it wasn't good. Wasn't a normal thing. And that's the last thing about last night I remember was just disappearing out.
Brett
Maybe his disgrace Dr. Jordan cut after you.
John
I don't think so. Although he would have access to. That's what I'm saying.
Brady
He did have that satchel with him.
John
He does true carries that little purse.
Brett
He had his Indiana Jones satchel with him.
John
It's not Indiana Jones.
Not gay.
Brett
I was trying to be nice to him.
John
That is not Indiana. He wears that fanny pack. Yeah, it's a fanny pack up on his chest.
Like a bandolier too. He doesn't.
Brady
When he came in, I thought, oh, his arms in his.
Miles
That's what I thought.
John
I did too. There were several times the night I almost asked him, what'd you do? Oh, yeah, it's your stupid fanny pack.
Brady
But it's not like there's no room in it. It is packed.
John
It's full.
Brady
Yeah, he's suspect number one.
John
We have to go through that.
Brett
Pill bottles in there.
Brady
There's so much stuff. What's the.
John
What was the reasoning? We parted ways. He can't get into where I'm going.
Brett
Well, just got in a little bit later.
John
Yeah, but he had to sneak in and I don't know that he did it. Well, if he did, Jordan's a small penis disgraced doctor because I don't feel a thing.
I got. I got no feelings at all back there. Let me push a little and see if there's any, like, bruising. At the very least, nothing. All right, well, if Dr. Jordan raped me, then good on him. I hope you had a nice time. There's no evidence of it here.
So. And if you do, you know, roofie me, make it count, you know, the next day, at least make him walk with him. Make me limp. Make me. Yeah, leave a bruise.
Noted. I'll keep that in my notes.
Larry
Bruise the boy.
John
Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. A good one. While you search your Internet and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
You thought that was funny?
You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with.
Miles
With you?
John
Oh, my goodness. There's a. Yeah, well, thank you, Miles to know her. Hit again. Megan texted me first thing in the morning, but now there's not trouble. She found a post of a dog that is being put down today because he's got allergies. It hasn't been adopted. I think it's at the Humane society. Will someone please just go adopt this.
Brett
Dog when you're picking up your new dog?
John
Yeah, I would. I have my dog. Who's just a butthole to new dogs. Shabite, we can't introduce new dogs anymore and take the risk that it's gonna make that dog crazy. I got a possessive three legged older girl who's like, this is my pack and that's all we're doing. And now she. It's. It's not good, so I can't really risk it. But I don't know where she found this. You can look. It says Arizona Humane Society. That's who we're doing all that stuff with. We gotta. Gotta fix it, find some shelter that'll help out. That'll make it so this. Allergies are no reason for that. Don't send me that stuff. I thought you should know while you're doing your wacky fun, that hundreds of dogs are put down every day. Oh, my God. Thank you, light. Thank you, brightest of lights.
Brady
Good morning.
John
Good morning, everyone. There are many starving people and dogs are euthanized across the country at an unreasonable rate. Thanks.
Miles
Wow.
John
Ray of sunshine.
Brady
Thanks, Struthers.
John
Yeah, it's. It's not even 7am yet. Here's the worst thing you'll see all day. Wow. The day's only six and a half hours old. I was asleep for most of that. I wake up to this. Will somebody go fix this? Please go in the Humane Society and go get that done. Just all of them, Please, just. Will someone adopt all of them? I've done my part. I'm trying. Oh, sends a picture over. He's adorable. Crying out loud, doing cute things. Oh, make it stop. Look at that. Look at that face.
I don't need to see this. It's brutal. Anyway, and also I'm getting all these emails from people who have been roofied in the past. It ain't pretty. One guy suggests that because I. And he is blaming Miles to Nowhere Katie and the Hobbs for putting me out, because he said if you mix Jameson and you were drinking something else. And he made a great point. I'm not much of a Jameson guy. He said, it's like an angry woman.
You start looking at other drinks and she'll cut you. And I did. I had a couple. Nothing. I wasn't drinking a lot, but vodka soda is my elixir, so I had a couple of those and then did the Jameson pickleback thing.
So maybe that's what did it, because it was weird. I do. I do think I might have been leaning into that territory. This guy said he got poisoned and woke up in another state. It was just the hangover. Yeah. Could you imagine? I mean, I woke up across a town I didn't live in, and that was enough for me to get weirded out. But the people that woke me, you know, the Mexican ground crew that was at the San Jose park.
Brady
Excuse me.
John
Were waking me to say, basically, is this him? Because the people that were looking for me Were driving around in there. There's a guy asleep over there. Hey, wake up. And I believe I sang Felice Kios to that man until I realized I'd been rescued. Huh? What Feliz Koopliano said to see. It's not my birthday, you see. But yeah, these you people. Almost everybody who listens evidently has been roofed. There's a lot of emails coming in. I got roofied once. I wonder how often it does happen. And where do you get it? How do I not know anything?
You know, how do you even get.
Brady
Some of this stuff? Probably is the mix too of just multiple.
John
Oh sure, but there's a difference. You don't. You're not a drinker. So you know when you've had a bad.
Brady
But I've heard every story in the brother. Like what am I missing here? I woke up in a different state. Oh man, you're missing out. You gotta experience.
John
Brady, please. But don't be a teetotaler at our expense. It's fun. We don't always wake up.
Brady
But here's what I've heard through the years.
Mental mind changing stuff. Alcohol. Tequila.
John
Oh, no.
Brady
I have numerous friends that say, oh, tequila.
John
There's different drunks. Goldschlager and some of the Jack you get into some of them, yeah, they'll start screwing around with how you get drunk. Yeah, this wasn't drunk. This was something else. This was a. What's going on? Like you're. When you're drunk, you're unaware that you're about to go out. You're like, oh man, I did too. You like you. The next day is usually when you're like, oh, last night I'm like, something's really wrong. Like this isn't a normal drinking feeling. That's different than like drunk. And yeah, it is fun sometimes to wake up in another state. I already have a mother, Brady. Thank you. We enjoy drinking, don't we, Brett? So we wake up. What do you have?
Brady
I said some things.
John
You want to know what a fun person says?
Brett
Alcohol.
John
You know what a fun person says? Watch this. Brett. What happens if you get really drunk and whatever and you wake up in New Mexico? What happens to you? What is the thing you walk away with?
Brett
What do you mean?
John
A fantastic story is other than being in New Mexico. Yes, and that's the thing. Your way back is part of the story now. Great story. The only thing you got to deal with. Guys like this Mr. Killjoy. A lot of fun. That's why I don't. Nobody wants to hear it for crying.
Brett
Mr. Killjoy.
John
Mr. Those people who are pious, religious folks. You want to tell me all that stuff about your churchgoers? I can tell you I don't like getting raped. That's why I don't go. It doesn't happen every time.
Ridiculous argument. But the people who do wake up from other states. Pretty funny. Pretty hilarious. Now, getting roofied, I've done the only.
Brady
Way I've woke up in a different state.
John
Sure, in the back of a station wagon on some sort of family trek. Everybody's been in another state, fallen asleep. But unexpectedly waking up in another state, that's different.
And the only way that happens is if you're roofied. You very rarely get so drunk just on drinking that you are. You end up in another state. Our buddy, remember Doug? He had that time he told us he went to Vegas. I don't know if it was him or his friend, but just woke up on a bench. He was in a room and then he was outside on a bench. He didn't have his wallet or his phone anymore. They carried him out or walked him out and he doesn't remember any of it. And he didn't try to get home. It's a great story. It's one of the best stories I've ever heard.
Brady
Had a buddy walk out of the bar and he remembers he came with another friend in the jeep.
John
Yeah.
Brady
So he climbed in the Jeep and hopefully it was the wrong Jeep.
John
See, that's a good drunk story. And then you get in trouble for that. Roofies are different.
Brett
Get shot that way too.
John
Yeah, you jump in the wrong Jeep. Great story again. Oh, yeah. I pulled a gun on you and you walk out of there. Okay, that's a good story. These people who don't drink don't have those stories. They're always getting in their own car.
Miles
Boring.
John
Get yourself.
Brady
I've got great stories.
John
Yeah, I don't know. I haven't heard one for a while. Throw one out for us. Yeah, give us one of them good ones. It's tough. This guy says. Switbert says, back in the late 90s, when my older brother was real into drugs, he and his friends would hit bars and secretly roofie each other just to mess with the other guy. I have no idea how to get that kind of stuff. But those stories are funny. Yeah, Roofy stories that you make it out of and your ass is okay. Hilarious.
But you do try to do the puzzle pieces. The next day. I'm pretty sure I got something. But that doesn't make a Good. I didn't know about. I don't know about Jameson mixing with other stuff, but it wasn't a normal. Like, I'm not drunk, and something's happening to me, and it's making me feel very wrong.
Brett
But it feels so right.
John
And it sort of did.
And then I just woke up again, and I'm like, it's time for work. What happened here?
So. And then my friend Tom Sizer went to that baseball game with him. Totally normal. And then we're leaving the game, and I look out and we're walking. My friend Marcos, isn't that your friend Tom? And he was doing a back bend up against the building as we were leaving the stadium. And I'm like, tom, are you okay? And he just goes, keep walking. Keep walking. Like, what happened? He's like, I'm pretty sure someone roofied me. He was doing, like, acid dances on the side of the road. It was weird. We left him, too.
Brett
It's like having a Jim Morrison thing.
John
Or something or what.
Brady
Lizard King.
John
We. He had different seats. So we hung out before the game and then went to the game. And then after the game, if it wasn't for my buddy Mark going, isn't that your friend Tom? Like, it sure is. What's he doing? And he was doing this weird backbend dance, and we're like, are you all right? Keep going. Just keep going. We did, because he looked crazy, and I don't want to be associated with it.
Hey.
You be careful there. Cody says, I don't think that short bald should put his two cents in on drinking. That's sexual harassment. We discussed this yesterday. Cody. Cody's a short guy name, anyway. Don't you call me short.
Yeah, you guys saw me on Jefferson street after the game. I went out for four hours and woke up in an underground parking lot lost. Yeah, I saw you before and it was lost. You were already in the parking lot. You just didn't know it at that point. Yeah, don't roof each other.
Miles
Stop.
Brett
Dane says, I roofing myself, and I still can't get laid.
Brady
Friday.
Brett
Dangerfield now or what?
John
Hey, I tell you what. I try to throw a roof in my own drink to see if I can turn myself on. I ended up in jail. I charged myself with rape.
Yeah, it's weird. It's a strange thing.
Brett
No drunk stories. Brady from way back in the day, college or anything.
Brady
Oh, yeah. You mean for me personally?
Miles
Yeah.
Brady
No, I think now.
John
He always yells at us. You know, I don't know what I'm missing. Sounds like a lot of fun. It is. And the occasion that, you know, it's like playing racquetball every once in a while, you get hit in the face. But most of the time, it's a pretty fun event. Sometimes something can go wrong. You're taking a risk.
Brady
I've experienced a lot, not personally being drunk, but seeing it on the other side of it.
John
Look, the fastest way to not want to drink is to be sober around people who are. Hell yeah. You've experienced the sober side of people having fun. And of course, you're not having as much fun as them. So it just looks stupid. But we're in the mix. It's good times.
Getting drunk has been going on since the beginning of man. We figured out how to ferment something, and we just started sucking on that, for God's sakes. They said half people in the Bible were smoking weed. They just never included it in the book. They were pretty sure they were all into it. Of course they were. They were hippies, all of them. Dudes walking around in sandals and dresses. Come on. It would have been an annoying group you'd never want to hang out with.
Brady
They found ways to entertain themselves.
John
The reason I don't like, like smoking weed is because the people who smoke weed.
Brady
I do have an experience.
In eighth grade.
John
Oh, really? You got stoned one time.
Miles
Yeah.
Brady
Don't remember. My brother wakes me up the next morning, where are the breakfast rolls?
John
Brady had eaten everything, plowed through it. I personally believe that that would have happened where you. I personally believe he used being high quoties as an excuse why I did that.
Brady
Part of it doesn' me that I couldn't remember. How would I.
John
You don't even know if you enjoyed that delicious breakfast. The breakfast roll raid.
Yeah. I kind of think you ate all the breakfast rolls and looked down and went, that was the last one. That got out of hand fast. I'll just tell everybody I was stoned and then everybody. You know, it's a good story from eighth grade. You still tell that story about how you got so high that you ate all the breakfast rolls. And that's a good.
Brady
I just didn't like the point of.
John
Not recalling that would matter if you don't like it.
Brady
Yeah.
John
Still a story you tell. It's a good story. It's a fun story about that. So you should do it more often. Try to run into that wall again now and again to come back and go, you guys are gonna believe what happened to me last night. Got so drunk. I mean, my Jesus. The night I got drunk and decided to be responsible because I thought I could walk home from Old Town Scottsdale to my house because I was running marathons. And with, this is a good idea. It's like a seven mile walk. I fell down on a rock and it hit me in the anus. I ended up with a hemorrhoid. The size of it was like grapevines. Ernest and Julio Gallo were living in my ass because I saw what I thought was a cat next to me on the walk on Camelback. And I said, look at that. And then it stood up and went. And I'm like, what the. That's not a cat. I started running. I hit my head on a tree and fell on that rock. And I woke up on the couch. I'm like, my ass is wet. And I reached back, it was just bleeding.
And I thought there was a.
Brady
Sure. That was a rock.
John
No, I knew exactly what happened because I knew when I landed on that rock, I'm like, that's in me. That's in me. Stupid raccoon. This raccoon was following me down Camelback. I didn't even know we had raccoons.
Brett
You sure it was a raccoon?
John
I thought it was a cat. It was a huge cat. He's running by me. Well, I didn't pass out at that point. I just started running faster after I hit my head on that tree. Then I got to the house and I was laughing hysterically. I'm like, that was crazy. Laid on the couch. I'm like, my ass is wet. What happened? I'm like, oh, that rock went in me. Wasn't a lot, but it caused immediate hemorrhoids, which I also didn't know. Trauma to Uranus causes hemorrhoids.
Brett
We were at our bachelor party one time, was me, man group, and a bunch of people. And like, I was just plowed. And I want. I wind up walking outside, and it's about what I remember. The next thing I know, my phone's ringing.
Brady
I'm like, what the hell?
Brett
Grab my phone. And man goop's like, where are you? I'm like, I'm out front. He's like, no, you're not. I'm out front. And I'm like, no, I'm out front. And he's like, what do you see? I'm like, the sky. Because I passed out in the bushes. I was literally passed out in the bushes.
John
You were in Nobody. Christie's in the quad in Guadalupe. Oh, yeah.
Miles
Oh, yeah.
John
You went to Christie's Guadalupe. You had to be drunk. Oh, I was.
Brady
That was his front yard.
John
That is drunk. What? You know, you're with a bunch of drunk guys, you're like, let's go to the Guadalupe.
The closest one is Guadalupe. Usually sobers me up fast.
Want to go to Carl's Jr. Where is it? Closest one's Guadalupe. Good night, folks. We'll see another time. I'm going home. Yeah. So, yeah, be careful out there with your roofies. And then I do remember Yesterday, watching the or a thing on YouTube where Shaquille O' Neal talked about abusive relationships and that he was in one.
And he said his girlfriend, when he was younger, used to beat him up a lot.
Come on.
You can't feel sorry for that. And also, that broad has some guts. She has. You're probably assuming he's not going to hit her back, but what if you catch him on the wrong day? I don't think you want the business end of Shaquille o' Neal having had enough of this. You know, you steal those feelings to wake the crack. Yeah, you do. Yeah. You don't want to release the Kraken.
Larry
I'm gonna release it on her.
John
It's okay. To have Shaquille o' Neal finally say enough is enough would be devastating to anybody that decided he said it. She used to beat me all the time. And he said he was in an abusive relationship, and his attempt to make it okay for men to talk about it actually backfires because that's hilarious. Like, there's. I can't really assume it was that abusive that Shaquille o' Neal was, like, in trouble. It has to be somebody like Scott Haynes or Larry or somebody small. If you started to talk about, like, he's. My wife's beating me, he'd be like, all right, we gotta put a stop to this. She's gonna kill you. Shaquille o'. Neal.
When he's the spokesperson for abused men, nobody's feeling bad at all. That's a. You're wasting everyone's time, he said. Yeah. He said he was candid about being fearful of his military father. That made sense because his dad was a big guy, and I've seen videos of him, and he was very intimidated by his father. But he said he had a woman particularly scary in his youth who used to bully him. And it was so bad that Shaq admits he'll never forget what she used to do to him. For the rest of his days, he still has fear of her. It says the most physically dominant giant in the league was once physically dominated by a girl about a third his size. No, he wasn't. He just didn't hit her back. He was. He was.
Brady
The guy's been a giant.
Freddie
It's like life, you know?
Brady
What if it was like, eighth grade or something?
Miles
Yeah.
John
But even still, he was. He was old enough to be, you know, a guy who didn't hit her back. He wasn't abused to the point where he was like, this is terrible. I've got. Nobody was ever going to say, we got to get you out of this. No one can possibly feel that bad for. And he said.
Larry
He goes, I had this girl, Monica. She used to beat me all the time.
John
So you. So what?
Larry
I was scared of her.
John
No, you weren't. Or you were. You stop it.
Larry
I want to be the face of male domestic violence.
John
No, can't do it. Larry has to do that. Because if girls started beating on Larry, you'd be like, that poor bastard Shaquille o' Neal gets punched by a woman. It's like, he's fine. Don't worry about it.
Brady
Just like the picture from Tawny Catan.
John
Oh, yeah. With that. Yeah, the guy that was a similar guy with the Cardinals.
Brady
Yeah.
John
And she took swings at him. Yeah, yeah. Finley. Yeah. And she was beating on his. Her pitcher husband.
Brady
And a lot of people in the league were saying, come on.
John
Well, again, she was bigger. He wasn't gargantuan. He was a good sized pro athlete. But she was bigger than him. No, no, but she was a bigger girl. Like, she's not like a third his size. You see Shaquille o' Neal next to every woman that he likes to date that wife of his, I'm surprised he didn't split her like a log like she was. She was, I think, as a human being, smaller than what I assume, his penises. She was little. She came up to his waist. Tiny woman. She was like 4, 10, 5ft tall. If he's into that. And she started hitting him, it'd be like, all right, you're gonna be all right. It's like, you know, Gulliver's travels. At a certain point, you can just build stuff around him. You won't even feel it.
He can't be the face of male domestic violence. Nobody's gonna go. Ever since I heard about Shaquille's horrible.
Brady
It's a tougher sale.
John
It's a. It's a non sale. I'm being abused by my wife. I'm just like Shaquille o'. Neal. No, you're not you. Shaquille o' Neal is a superstar. Is just saying that to make it okay for other giants to admit they're kind. That's all he is, is a kind giant. That's what I read. But I'm telling you, man.
Woman. Taking a swing on a guy that big. You better hope he's a kind giant. Next thing you know, it's gonna be like one of those cartoon pushes where you go through, like, 14 houses. He just hits you, and you go through every. Just wall after wall, just you flying backwards.
Brady
It's the tiger trainer.
I got this tire.
John
Oh, yeah, yeah. No, tigers can be abused and, like. But they. When they fight back, you're like, good on you, kid. But tigers are animals. That's different.
They don't know not to, like, they. They're being abused. Yeah, but they smacking them and beating them when they're babies. That's a non starter. As far as Shaquille, you knew you were getting beat, right? Yeah. You talked to your. Yeah. Okay. You could have walked away from it.
Larry
I was trapped in an abusive relationship.
Why is that so funny?
Brett
Imagine Charles Barkley talking to him about that.
John
Wait a second. There's a little girl taking a swing on you, and you. Did you weep?
Larry
Oh, I wept. I cried like a baby. Chuck.
John
I'd go home.
Larry
I was so scared.
John
What were you scared of? Like, hitting you in the foot.
Just push her.
Larry
You never put your hands on someone, Chuck. Someone you love.
John
This is crazy. You went home scared.
Larry
Sometimes I just drive around the block worrying if she was gonna beat me that night.
John
This isn't real at all. You crazy.
Larry
I have to side with Charles here. Ernie, you don't know nothing.
John
If Ernie came on and said I was abused by women, be like, that's terrible. Poor Ernie. Shaq, does it. Come on. You're fine. What woman on the planet would worry you about Shaq being abused? Like, if Brady started showing up with bruises, we'd pull him aside and go, are you all right? But if you were 7ft, 300 pounds, I'd be like, why are you all bruised up? She's beating me.
Come on. You just put your hand out. She can't even reach. You put your hand on her forehead like the old three stooges and let her, you know, swing in the air.
Brady
I fell down again.
Larry
I fell down a flight of stairs, and I hit my face on the doorknob.
John
Shaq, is. You get. Are you. But Shaq, you go home, you're getting beat.
Larry
I have some bruising. I Don't want to talk about it.
John
John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD.
Larry
Holmberg's morning sickness.
John
And he's just in a huge ball on the ground. You gonna listen to me? Shaquille under you.
Larry
Stop beating me.
John
I don't buy it.
Brett
Now, if he's dating Brittney Griner or something, maybe.
John
Well, that's man on man crying. Be super careful. That's a dude fighting a dude.
Brett
Well, what about Obama and Big Mike?
John
If he started showing up with bruises? Yeah, it's believable. Even Trump would be like, come here, Barack. Is everything okay at home? I know you don't like me, but she beats me senseless. We all know it. Probably with that huge wang. It has made an appearance. But, yeah, I mean, come on, Shaq, we can't hear that. It's. It's immediately funny. It will never be like the Jimmy V Found, like, the Shaquille o' Neal Abused Husbands Foundation. You can't be the face of certain things. That's like me being the face of the. I don't know, naacp. I mean, it's just. You just can't do it. It doesn't fit.
Larry
So many giants live in this world, scared of their wives.
John
That's not a thing.
Larry
I'm seven feet. I come home. I duck. I duck to walk through the front door, and I just wait for her, and I don't know when she's gonna come out. She. She's sneaky. Just shoots out from under the couch and just starts whipping me.
Brady
This could be the night.
John
I'm gonna kick ass just for telling that story in public.
Larry
Please, Charles, you don't know my. My silent fears, my quiet rage.
John
It's nuts. But I was. I was listening to that, and I'm like, come on, Shaq. Can't be that. We can't. Nobody took that seriously, right? Nobody said, well, it's terrible. This one says, I'm also a victim of abuse from my girlfriend. Signed, Nathan Sutherland. Yeah, it's the exact same match up there. It's. The odds of Nathan losing a fight to his girlfriend is the same as Shaq losing two. Any woman I've ever met.
Yeah. You know, he had the silent treatment for years. What woman can you think of right now, seriously, that poses a physical threat to Shaquille o' Neal without weapons? Now, she pulled the gun on him. That's totally different. Crime Lizzo. Old Lizzo could. No, he'd still bounce her off the walls.
Brett
There is no woman she could sumo wrestle his Ass.
John
She. It'd be an interesting scrap. It'd be good scrap. I'd watch it. But Shaq would come out in the end.
Brady
30 seconds.
John
Yeah.
Brady
Oh. Survives that first round and she spent.
John
Look. Yeah. She got zero stamina. There's no doubt about that.
Brett
China, formerly the W. She's dead.
John
She also had a penis. I said, woman, we all saw the pictures.
Brett
That was Big Mike's out.
John
Big Mike's that. You can't keep picking men, girls, literally biological women. Which ones will you be like? Yeah, she used to beat Shaq. Poor guy. There's no feeling sorry for him.
Can't be done. Poor Shaq just got his ass kicked constantly by that lady.
Brady
Even sir. You know, a good Serena Williams who's.
John
Yeah, she's a big.
Brady
She's. But she's my crime. Right?
John
She's just only.
Brady
Not gonna happen.
John
She's 6ft, 200 pounds. And she's lost weight. She did the Ozempic. She's on the commercials now. She ain't making Shaq. You ever seen her standing next to Shaq? It's. She's tiny.
Larry
You just don't understand. And you're not taking me seriously.
John
No, I'm not. And I want to hear it ever again.
Larry
A lot of guys like me get hit by women.
John
Okay? Do you feel it? Because that's my only question.
Brady
But John only takes eight pounds.
John
You gotta reach it. What woman jump up and give you £8 out of a tree of an open jaw. So it has to be a perfect.
Brady
Surprises him.
John
It's £8 of pressure. It's not just £8 leaning on it. You got to give a pop to a jaw that's open.
And the odds of you putting that button is it's very difficult to hit that. But if you hit it right, you can put somebody out. Nobody. Shaq is not going out. Down goes Shaq.
You listen to me. Stay down. Next time I see you, just lay there, because that's what we'll put your ass.
Larry
I can't go home no more.
John
You got that call from Shaquille.
Larry
I can't go home. She's home and she scares me.
John
Go home, Shaquille.
Brett
A couple people are saying, Jada Pinkett Smith.
John
Yeah. She couldn't. I would like to see her take a swing at Shaq. I think he'd finally make the move, quiet her up. That's hilarious. But yeah. And I do. Like in this day and age that you're not allowed to say, okay, that's just stupid. You have to take it Seriously, Domestic violence for men's a real problem. Okay, for. For what? Men?
Chick hit you and you just leave. It's the same with women, but it is more. It is tougher for women because they can be overpowered so easily. You shouldn't be afraid of your girlfriend. This guy says, Ronda Rousey, Amanda Nunez, Kayla Harrison would all give him a run for his money. They've all lost to women in fights.
Ronda Rousey had her whole face redecorated by a kick.
Brady
She wants it happening again.
John
Yeah, that. By the way, she volunteered to fight that lady. It wasn't even surprise. Punches and she. Come on. Ronda Rousey is a very average fighter.
Brett
Somebody says, I alone, a mayor, a.
John
Rugby player, my rugby gigantic. Oh, yeah, she's a beast. But Shaq is like. Just because you can name a big woman. I'm still thinking, if Shaq's with her and he shows up with bruises, I don't feel bad. She's got. She was on Dancing with the Star. She's kind of annoying. She wasn't that big. She's just thick. No, she looks big there, right?
But Shaq could take her.
Brett
Just a corpse grinder from Cannibal Corpse.
John
In that picture.
Larry
Look at that.
John
They try to pretty her up a lot. Ever see her Instagram page?
Brett
Yeah.
John
I mean, talk about special effects. Look, that's.
A lot of work. They put scaffolding up to do it too. It's like a full on.
She's kind of funny. Like, she does some funny stuff, but when they. When they put her in, like, evening gowns and stuff, you're like, all right.
See.
It'S. Shaq would beat her up.
Listen, that fight is cake. It's either dolling her up there. Brett found the pretty vids down in Tulum. A bad girl, but a real good kisser trying to be sexy.
No, turn that off. That's gross.
Brett
She's running.
John
This guy says, what about Ladonna Harvey? Now? You might have something.
Ask Jim Sharp. Yeah, Sharp won't tell us. If Jim Sharp said she beats me, we wouldn't even think of his wife. We'd be like, we know who's hitting you. Do you need us to get involved?
Miles
Just.
John
Yeah, just get me out of this. It would be like Secrets of Mormon Wives. You see them, sneak them out. Not the Mormon ones. What's the one where they go up there and they sneak kids out? The ones the polygamist. And then they. They. That one guy will go, Colorado City. Yeah, he'll go back up. They Had a whole show of it for a while. He'd drive up to that city and rescue him, stealing them. Like, wait for him and like, he's like, we'll get you out of here. There was a couple of really good episodes of that too, where these people would go back and wait for him and they'd have to run away, literally running to the car night. And sometimes they wouldn't show up and it would dip everybody. Be like, she's staying. She's staying in this craziness. Could you imagine that sitting there? All right, Shaq, go out to the honky tonk and tell her you're gonna go, you know, dance and four step with her or something, and then we'll meet you in the parking lot and drive you to another place. Come on, Shaq's fine.
I'd laugh at Brett.
Brady
Pick him up at his locker. The Lakers, actually, to leave the Laker organization.
John
Oh, yeah, because. Because look, if Brett came in here right now and said, hey, Brady, I got to talk to you. Matthias, she's. She's knocking me around pretty good. I'm afraid to go home.
Miles
Look at.
John
You're laughing now.
It's just not a thing.
Brett
Some people are saying because she's the same. She's the same height as his crank.
Miles
Oh, yeah. No.
John
She get punched in the wing, but it might hurt her hand.
Brett
Now it's the big Kardashian sisters, a couple of them that come in now. She's not that big anymore.
John
No. She's still only like 6ft tall. Add a foot and 190 pounds to it and tell me that she's going to do any damage.
I know domestic violence for men is real, but come on.
Shaq can't be one of the voices of that. Brett can't even do it. You guys would laugh at me. Megan hits me a lot, and I just don't know what to do.
Brett
By Larry.
John
Larry's one that'd be like, oh, my God, that woman's gonna kill Larry because he's nice and he would allow it.
She would eventually stop hitting him is whatever. She loves me. Like, oh.
You know, sometimes you just. If they're punching on you and stuff, you just like push them down. That's enough. And then you leave.
It's different for women. A man. Ronnie beats me. Look, your face immediately went to smiling. It was never like, that's terrible. If Beth had this conversation on her show and then, like, said, I'm being beaten, there wouldn't be any laughing.
Brady
Nobody talks about the big Crane.
John
Yeah, yeah. And be like, really? Okay, It's a tough man, but no woman can say that. But I say it about Brett, and immediately you started giggling like crazy.
Brady
That's the voice?
John
No, it's the same voice he always uses.
Miles
Hey.
John
Oh, that's what I. I went home. I'm afraid to go home.
He's knocking me all over the place, bouncing me off the wall.
Brett
Now we got Gabby Garcia. I guess she's an MMA fighter or something.
John
I can imagine. Ahoy hoy.
Miles
Who is it? Oh.
John
Oh, Brady. Oh, it's Brett. Oh, God, I'm getting beat. Oh, who's beating? The opposite. What's his name? Oh, it's Messiah.
Brett
I almost want to call him and say that.
John
Now just like, shut up, Brad. You're all right. Oh, it's relentless. It's relentless.
Stab Italian crying. It's hilarious.
Oh, it's little tiny fists of fury.
I gotta go. I'm hungry.
Brady
Where were you? I was in the Subaru.
John
What happened? I forgot to dig out the trash. I gotta live a night in the garbage like Oscar the Grouchy.
I'm so glad I can hear again.
It's just harder. All I'm saying is. I know it's. But it's harder. And you can laugh about it, which means it's not that big a deal. Now flip that around to two women trying that same exact thing. Jane getting beat by her husband.
Brady
Hello.
Miles
Oh, my God.
John
You've got to come get me. He's beating me. Suddenly it's not funny. But when dudes get beat up.
Brady
Hilarious.
Hilarious.
John
But Toledo's ex wife, remember when she. I've heard that. I'm like, oh, boy. I asked him, she ever hit you? Because she used to get real loud. He just started crying. And then you and I started laughing and we went back to lunch.
She ever hit you, Rich? Oh, yeah, it was bad.
I have the Italian sub guys. Just gonna order lunch. Yeah, that conversation's over.
Brady
I got 400 tickets to spend with the Chuck E. Cheese.
John
You want to know how I know your business is going under? Is if you opened up a domestic violence shelter for men. It's not going to happen. And I know people will email and go, it's because we're afraid to talk about it. No, it's not that. It's not happening.
Brady
It's a 10 bed facility. Nine are open.
John
Yeah, most of the time. Women don't beat you. You, they plot your death. I watch a lot of Dateline. They don't sit back and punch. Some of them Will get violent, but the second they do, just leave.
Brady
Mental.
John
Oh, there's mental abuse now. That's a different animal altogether. That's craziness. But for the most part, they plot your death. If you watch any of those Keith Morrison shows there. As time went by, she had more and more ideas and he had no idea. Or did he? Because he goes by Suit of Armor and he sleeps in that for a while. Jeff decided to sleep in a suit of armor for the next six months, just in case. And then she'd go nuts and kill him.
Brady
Slow poisoning.
John
Yeah, yeah, they do that stuff now.
Brett
Shaq still with this broad, or was this.
John
No, no, it was when he was. Yeah, no, I got.
Larry
I got out of that incredibly dangerous situation, Brit.
John
And you guys are laughing. What a couple of dicks.
Larry
That was horrible. Just a terrible, terrible thing.
Brady
I'm happy for him.
John
See, that said, I said, I bet nobody was afraid or threatened by Jodi Arias. Yeah, and she didn't punch him once.
She said he was hitting her in the trial. And look what she did. She drove all the way across the country and stayed mad and got in there and did her business. That's what a woman does. You don't even know you're gonna get abused until you're bleeding out your neck.
Brett
Ramon says you obviously never dated a Mexican woman when those hoop earrings come off. Somebody getting an ass whooped.
John
That's probably true. Yeah. I'm not saying they don't whip your ass. I'm just saying usually it's once. If it keeps happening, somebody's going to end up on their. On their ass.
Larry
Had to hit her player. I had to push her down.
She called my abuelito.
John
How Better Call Saul got started at 7:20. What do you got on the big board of musical treats over there? Wake up.
Brett
So I'm brought to you by Action Ride Shop. It is a little chilly this morning, which means, you know, they're getting snow up north and. Well, now time to start getting those. Those skis, row boards, getting all the gear ready. And Action Ride Shop is the place to be. Plus, Josh just text me yesterday. Oh, yeah, let me double check my text because I don't want to misquote this, but everything. She's ready. Yeah, he's running a big special right.
Freddie
Now.
Brett
And it is.
20 all in stock beach cruisers.
John
Oh, no kidding.
Brett
And he's got a ton of them. So time to start going Christmas shopping. Get that beach cruise. Cruise around the neighborhood, do whatever right around the kids, if you have those. And the kiddos but, yeah, 21 of.
Larry
My kids is beating me, but 20.
Brett
Off all beach cruisers right now. And it is Action Ride shop. They got two locations for you right there on Power Road and McDowell, and of course, the OG on Gilbert Road and southernactionrideshop.com.
John
Remember the time we found out. Remember Tattoo from Fantasy Island?
Freddie
Yeah.
John
And he got in trouble for beating his wife, and she was six feet tall.
Like, wow. And nobody was like, that poor woman. Like, come on. You married Tattoo?
Brett
Well, Gary Coleman got pushed down the stairs.
John
Well, that's. Yeah. But again, those are the types of guys that can be the face of this. And Izzy still. Look. I know. And she still. She's still a little bit clumsy. She's the excuse men have been using for years. She's clumsy, you see? But even still, nobody, even Gary Coleman was pushed downstairs by an abusive woman. And he can't even be the face of male domestic violence because it's too funny to think of Arnold getting pushed downstairs. Nobody had that on their bingo card of, how do you think Arnold will go, oh, he's gonna get beat up by his girlfriend and knock down a staircase. He did it. I don't know how you pulled that off, but, yes, that's exactly it. Oops, sorry. It was. It was abuse. We have to be sad about it. Nah. This guy said, I dated a crazy Italian chick who stabbed me in the hand. I wrapped it in a clean shirt and went about my day. Yeah, that's. That's.
You get away with that one time, you can't get stabbed. That's illegal. Just throw her in jail.
And people all think Big Mike can take down Shaq. Maybe in your cartoon world, but even Big Mike doesn't stand a chance. You've never felt the theory of Big Mike.
Larry
She beats me.
John
It's just a funny thing to hear. All right, what do you got?
Brett
All right.
John
On the list.
Brett
Aquabats, typo, negative body counts, cover of Raining Blood, the Ramones. Somebody put something in my drink.
John
That's me. Ozzy.
Brett
Ultimate sin because it is his birthday. Date rape for you. Sublime. Scp, Black Sabbath for Ozzy's birthday.
John
Now that I'm thinking about it, this is a Father Dale situation again. If I did get roofied, I was still so unattractive. No one raped me. You don't know that.
Brady
Maybe.
John
No, I woke up fine, Brett.
Brett
Was there a little. Any Asian men there last night?
John
Or you're just saying all Asian men If you're going to get raped, maybe that's why Toledo goes over There for vacation. It doesn't hurt.
Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I didn't know there were no little Asian men running in and out of the windows.
Yeah, I got roofied and then just left to my own.
Brady
It was just a jumbo, my wankie.
John
I didn't even have that. Stop tugging on my erection, please. I've been drugged. Didn't even have the opportunity to fight the rapist off or beat him off, as they'd said.
Yeah, I got roofied. And it was basically somebody saying, have a nice sleep. That was it.
Brady
I think it's working. You're gonna follow him home?
John
Nah, nah. I've seen him walking away. He's too ugly.
Brady
I like his jib.
John
He's just too ugly. Oh, I'm pretty dizzy right now. I don't think I'm gonna make it. Five more steps, then we'll get you into a room. Don't worry about it. You'll be fine.
Yeah, that's disappoint. As disappointing as father Dale never making a pass at me all those four years I spent over there at Dobson. Three at Dobson.
Never once he was playing grab ass with everyone in that school except me.
Brady
Maybe that's what you need to do next time you see him. I'm right here, big boy.
John
I might ask him. Hey, you raped everybody at Dobson except me. What?
Miles
Why?
John
Your nose. Yeah, that's what I figured. Anyway. Well, thanks for the honesty. God bless.
Brady
What is it about me?
John
God bless, Father Dale.
Brett
You never got in the hot tub?
John
Never got a chance. Never even got to see the drawer full of bathing suits of different sizes that he carried for all the boys that he was having over. I mean.
Brady
Spiritual soak.
John
Yeah, if you. And I was, like, not religious, I was. I was the one he should have been targeting. I'm showing up at his teen life thing, trying, because that's where all the girls were. And I thought that was a good idea. And I'm pretending for a little while that I'm interested in the church. Never once did he even come over and go, hey, you want to be a new recruit? Hop in this tub with me like he did everyone else.
Not once. Maybe he roofied me last night. And it's like, you look tired. I'm gonna help you out. Go ahead and sleep, Damn it. It's Ozzy's birthday. He would be, what, 77?
Brady
Yep.
John
77 years old today. How about that? Ozzy's our first birthday of Ozzy's, where he's not here, which is crazy. Ozzy's we should do some. Some sort of a special song for him. Ultimate Sin's pretty good.
Brett
That's a great song.
John
Yeah, let's go with that one. Ultimate sin of Ozzy. That one. It's hard to believe that this year that's. That was a big loss back in July. That was a big one. You see the biggest star that died, right? Probably that I remember. He's the only one I remember, so he must be. There's been a couple of good ones.
Brady
I saw the.
They posted the list about two weeks ago.
John
Dead people from the year.
Brady
Yeah.
Brett
Let's see here.
John
Pretty big. The azie's the big one. I mean, they didn't have. I don't remember any other massive funerals closing long.
Brett
Kilmer.
John
Hulk Hogan was the other one. I forgot about that.
Val Kilmer died this year.
Miles
Yeah.
Brett
What's that?
John
Yeah, Ozzy's the biggest. Val Kilmer's a big name, and that's a pretty big. Oh, Diane, Theo. Robert Redford. Theo from the Cosby Show. But nobody closed roads for Theo's funeral.
Yeah, I think that's it. Jimmy Cliff just died a couple weeks ago. Maybe in Jamaica or.
Yeah, yeah. Ozzy's the biggest one. Well, happy birthday, Oz. And I'm sure the family's celebrating with a big crazy cake. It is the ultimate sin for ozzy's birthday. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
You thought that was funny?
You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Can you pd.
There's stone sour right there. It's absolute sour. Pipe down, boys. Pipe down.
Can't have that nonsense going out to the public.
Brady
It's your fault.
Brett
Yeah, you started that one.
John
Well, sure I did.
I have my new dick laser. Brady, We've got about 70 pictures of you with a dick on your mouth. Yeah, you have?
Brady
Well, no, I saw some snickering going on earlier this morning.
John
Oh, that was for Brett saying something stupid that had nothing to do with the dick laser laser. If he's snickering, then we weren't doing that because he's been my photographer and I've been the guy shooting the dick laser on your face. Get one of these things. Also the dick laser. Well, I'm just John Holmberg chilling away for dick laser pens. Yeah, we've been hitting you a lot.
It has a black light, a flashlight, and a regular laser pointer for, like, presentations.
Freddie
So you can put dicks on scorpions.
John
So then I can yeah, well, no, you can't do the black light. Doesn't go. Doesn't make dicks.
But you flip it around and then you got. It makes little laser penises.
Brady
Variety.
John
You can put them on people's faces.
Freddie
Did you get more than. Did you get a curved one? One with Peyronie's disease?
John
There's five. Five different. Yeah, there's a skinny one, a fat one, just a hanging down one, and then a regular one and then a curved one. It was like 12 bucks or 14 bucks or something like that.
Freddie
Best purchase.
John
John Holmberg chilling away for. I'm telling you right now, chilling away for a little red laser pee pee, ladies.
Freddie
You take it to the sun's game.
John
Put him on your face. Oh, I think I'd get kicked out. I'd put it right on Devin Booker.
Freddie
He's in the Rah Rahu.
John
No, I'm doing it on the court. Oh, yeah. Doug Hopkins gonna have this on his face a few times at the basketball game, though. Yeah, it's right there in Toledo's mouth. Oh, gross. He opened his mouth. Anyway, go get one of those.
Every all pro shade. Guys should give you one of these and a heater.
Freddie
I'm putting it on our Facebook page.
John
Oh, yeah, put that out there. Brady's doing his research on his phone. And a big wiener on his head. It's mainly used, as I understand it, to wreck. When you see some Instagram influencer taking a meaningless picture or doing one of her, quote, modeling shoots, photobombing. And you photobomb it with one of these. It's the modern day photobomb. But I finally got it, and I am a child, so this is fantastic. It's stupid. Unless you use it in the right thing. I really like the. The. The black light feature. That's neat. Thanks, Dick Lasers. And I'm like. When I saw it online, I'm like, where do you go for. It's literally. It's Dick laser dot com. They're not.
Brady
Not shy about it.
John
And it shows up and on the package that's, you know, the guy delivering it to you. Looks down and sees the return addresses to Dick Laser Industries.
Brady
Danny McBride's a big fan.
John
Oh, huge. Is he using it too?
Miles
Yeah.
John
Okay.
Miles
All right.
Freddie
Check it out on our Facebook page.
John
Yeah, Brady's got one on her. Put it on your friends today. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report, and it's brought to you by our friends over atallprochade allproche.com get you all hooked up for a beautiful night out in your backyard. Your front yard. You got a side spit. Watched a guy in my neighborhood is doing an addition on his house. And I just looked kind of in the back. I could see what they were up to. He's put this beautiful side patio up where the sun's not gonna. I'm like, it's awesome. It's great. What did he use? I don't know if he used all Pro Shade, but the type of stuff they would do, it was gorgeous. And it's got this retractable thing. It'll shoot out. It's like a. It's like a picnic area. Another guy's got one in my neighbor. Now, I pay attention to these shades. They're everywhere. You know the people that don't have enough parking. Brett. And they've got cars in their yard. Brett. And they just build one of those tents from structures from Walmart. Yeah. Like every time.
Brady
10 by 30.
John
Yeah, the 10 by 30s. And they park a car under it when it kind of for like a poor person's wedding. I think they're supposed to have those under those. I saw a guy in my neighborhood has retractable shades for his cars on the side of the house. It looks like it's supposed to be there. That's the difference between umbrellas and putting up some stupid thing. And these guys, they come out and make it look like it's supposed to be part of your house. And you don't look like a rube or hillbilly trash. When you put your car on the side of the thing under one of these beautiful, perfect awnings. All Pro Shade will take care of you. And when the wind blows right back in, it's perfect. And I'm sure you could probably shut that feature off, right?
Brady
Yes.
John
Yeah, that's perfect. Yeah. Motorized shades. You get one right now and they'll throw in a heater for the cooler months that we're now part of. It's a beautiful thing and a great gift for you and your house. AllProchade.com Brady reported.
Brady
I just went out to the new headquarters, All Pro Shades, new facilities, because they've expanded.
John
It's huge.
Brady
Unbelievable. And the guys from Diamond Coatings did their floor and to see it in person.
John
Yeah, it's. Sean sent me pictures of that.
Brady
Really cool.
John
That is amazing. They did the whole floor and that swirling black.
Brady
So the building that he bought is, you know, a lot bigger. Space was a place that made body Armor. They're no longer there. So in the facility is still the room where they practice the. On the body armor. It's a shooting range.
John
Oh, no kidding.
Brady
And he kept. He kept the range in there. He's like, anytime you want to come.
John
Down there, you can just shoot at their store. Not everybody.
Brady
Not everybody.
John
Not like customers. Yeah, I grabbed my gun and I.
Freddie
Came here just out some illegal activity.
John
Brady, you should have shut up about that. That just got shut down.
Freddie
That's supposed to be common knowledge.
John
Not sure. The Shade guys are supposed to have live ammo going in the house.
Freddie
No, they're approved for it.
John
No, that's.
Miles
Whoops.
Brady
Okay, I didn't see any of that.
John
I mean they think about it. It's.
Freddie
Paint guns, right?
John
Oh, I didn't know that. Their bullets are blue. Yeah. You just outed them, Robert.
Brady
Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world. And it just.
John
Just hit him all prochay.com. they won't kill you.
Yep. You realized it after.
Brady
Yeah. Check out the. If you get down there, it's right off the I17, just north of Bell Road.
Freddie
Don't bring your guns.
John
Don't go in the back door. It's dangerous.
Brady
A couple of basis fun facts actually. National package protection day and happy national roof over your head day.
John
Gotta love that. What about for man?
It's just rude really is what it is to people who don't have 1.
Brady
Early 20th century Pennsylvania Germans considered it bad luck to take a bath or change your clothing between Christmas and New Year.
John
What?
Brady
That week between Christmas and New Year, you don't take a bath. Yuck. Or change your clothes.
John
Why? Bad luck.
Stupid.
Brady
Sahara means deserts in Arabic.
John
That's the second worst idea Germans have ever had.
Brady
So the Sahara desert is the desert's desert.
John
It's like table Mesa, the table table.
Brady
There have been 21 people who've won the EGOT, Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony, but only one person who's been nominated for all four but not win a single one.
Miles
So they're.
John
He got nominees, but didn't. They don't even have a single trophy. Yeah, it's got to be some like Tony, like mostly Broadway people.
Brady
Lynn Redgrave.
John
Oh, no kidding.
She's a name.
Brady
Yeah.
John
I'd never guessed that. But I would have guessed some. Some Broadway dude like. What's that?
Freddie
Sean Hayes?
John
No, he's not gonna get nominated for any Academy Awards. What's the. The Joel Gray jazz hands. Yeah, because he did all that jazz and it became a movie and he was in that too.
Brady
All Jews whose families are from Europe.
John
Jesus, that was. Yeah.
Brady
Which is almost all the Jews you'll meet in the U.S. guess we're done talking about our 30th cousins. Or closer.
John
Oddly enough, most people with EGOTs are Jews. They're all related. You're saying all Jews are related? It's incestuous. As your. As your.
Currently saying that all Jews are incestuous.
European ones.
Brady
According to a new study, the average child's Allowance is now 52 bucks a month, roughly 13 bucks a week. 61% of the parents say their kids are more financially responsible with money than they were at the same age.
Freddie
Lies, man.
John
Well, we're not talking to you about financially responsible kids. Your kids bring it on the curve. His allowance was a couple thousand dollars a month, and he still couldn't make it work.
Brady
Work allowance?
Freddie
He never saw it.
Miles
That was.
John
That's what I'm saying. You were paying for everything for him. He's still living at the house. Any plans?
Brett
I love it.
John
Yes. Let's check his Internet history. How long does the body decompose in a bag?
Does he have. He's staying for the holidays, obviously. And then it's 2026. Where else is he gonna go? It's roof over your head day.
Well, I'm just saying, eventually you're gonna have to say, get out.
Nope. He's forever. He's a forever boy.
Freddie
I sympathize with Brady a little bit on that.
John
That you want him there forever.
Freddie
I don't want him there forever. No.
John
Because Brady wants Kirby to never leave the house.
Freddie
Well, he's got different reasons for that.
John
He cares about it.
Brett
Right.
John
Well, that's where you're different.
That's where you and Alex have a parting of the ways. It's all that caring. We just don't see eye to eye. Yeah, man, you're a chip. You're a chip off the old block there, Toledo, huh?
Brady
I got a quick. Wild America. Hello, my friends. Brady Bogan here with your Wild America.
Animal control officers near Richmond, Virginia. They shared photos after a male raccoon broke into a liquor store last Friday. Got hammered, passed out in the bathroom.
Freddie
Gave the owner a hemorrhoid.
John
Well, it happens. That's a real thing, boy.
Brady
Just found him sprawled out on the bathroom floor. Next. The next morning, still asleep. He knocked over a bunch of bottles on the shelves. Someone broke, and he started lapping that up. It's hard to tell from the photo, but it looks like he got some gin he likes, maybe some whiskey.
John
No mixers.
Brady
They Let him sleep it off of the animal shelter. Then they released him back into the wild. Here's the photos.
John
Oh, they put him back.
Brady
Yeah, there's. Yeah, he'll tell me.
John
I wonder what goes through his mind. Like he just met. He's in a cage for a day or two, he's feeling terrible and then he's back in the woods like he.
Freddie
Was in a bathroom. Then he's in a cage.
John
Where have you been, Rodney? Bro, you guys are not gonna believe. I don't know. I was in a bathroom, I woke up in a cage and it's. I got Roofy.
Freddie
His friends are like Brett's friends.
John
Where are you? Yeah, no, you're not. He's in the liquor store.
Brady
That's your wild America.
John
That was fast.
Brady
We got three people that were arrested in the Florida Keys last Saturday after they were caught having a threesome in a supermarket parking lot.
Wasn't happening in the middle of the night. It was around noon. A little day drinking. The group consisted of a 45 year old woman, 43 year old man and a 59 year old man. All three were drunk.
Charged with disorderly intoxication, indecent exposure, lewd conduct in public.
John
Sure.
Brett
See, Brady, the stories are great when you're drunk.
John
Yeah. See, I don't know what I'm missing that.
Brady
You'll see what you're missing. Oh, a woman's name's Sharon. She was also charged with resisting without violence. Police said Sharon has done this kind of thing before. She was arrested for similar public conduct a few months ago.
I got the mug shots.
Freddie
The kindest form of resisting. Right.
Brady
In the Florida keys.
John
Florida Keys. Three way sex with somebody your age.
Brady
59.
John
So we got a Brady age. We got somebody a little younger than me and Brett and then someone. Yeah. All right. I don't want to see this.
Brett
Hillbillies.
John
It's just toothless rubes.
Oh, God. Oh, they're worse than I thought.
Brady
Yeah.
John
Oh, my God.
Brett
There's enough booze in that bar.
John
Which one is 59? They all look 59.
Brady
The middle guys.
John
The middle guy's the oldest.
Brady
Yeah.
John
That girl's in her early 40s. Life has been unkind.
Freddie
I hate to bring this up from last night, but that might be Without Fears lead singer.
John
That is one of the guys from the band. That's true.
So that old man and that other old man went lemon party with that girl and they didn't even have the decency to go inside.
Brady
I don't think she was involved all that much.
John
Oh, Christ.
Brady
It's in the keys.
John
She was just standing. That is true. It's a really super duper gay place.
Brady
What are you doing here? That's where it all went.
Brett
Yeah, you have to do a couple keys to get ready for that broad.
John
Also thinking to myself, they might have thought that was a man. Like for about an hour of the activity before they realized, where's her wiener? She is ugly.
Wow. That is the grossest threesome that's been captured.
Brady
They met after the Ernest Hemingway lookalike contest.
John
Oh, that poor cop. Can you imagine stumbling onto that?
Brett
Oh, I'd keep driving.
Brady
They're like, there's a smell in the Winn Dixie parking lot.
John
Think about it. If Brady and Toledo and Diana Taurasi were outside in his car and you saw it.
Oh, it killed myself for the visual.
Brett
That's a step too far.
John
Yeah, I'm a. I'm a wordsmith. I paint photos with letters.
I did it.
Freddie
I know.
John
Happy little Brady lives right here inside of Toledo in that Lincoln house.
Brady
You're peeping in the bubble window of the conversion van.
John
Sounds like somebody's dying in there. And they just put your little face up against the tent. Jesus Christ. What are they doing to Diana Taurasi?
Brady
Junk. Los Gatos, California. A car plowed through the Los Gatos Coffee Roasting Company on Thanksgiving night. It was a 90 year old driver and it plowed through. The guy survived. Wait till you see the video of this car going through.
John
It went through the Los Gatos and it was closed.
Brady
Yeah, the coffee.
Show up? The guy's in the hospital still. He's in stable condition.
John
All right.
Brady
He's not. He's not creeping down the street.
John
Oh, he's going like a thousand miles an hour into the.
Brady
It's like.
John
It's like plowing. Did you say it's like Back to the Future? Because that's what it looks like.
Brady
I was looking at.
John
Is that how fast he's going? Who may have been drinking?
Oh, he's 90. Yeah, he just lost control at 90. No one was inside the time. No one got. Is he still alive?
Miles
He's fine.
John
He's now listed in stable condition. He's 90. He's not in stable condition. Anyway, that's what they're saying. Holy smokes. He's going 100 at least. Just right into that flying Los Gatos.
That's a good name for everything. It reminds me of. What was the San Andreas. They had a Gato something. Oh, yeah, I can't remember the video game.
Los Gatos. The Cats. I live in the cats.
Freddie
You have a Gatos de Guayo, El.
John
Gato Diablo de Guadalupe, the devil cat of Guadalupe. But, you know, I don't live in a town called the Cats or of the Cats.
Brady
First pretty video. There's a guy doing the Flaming. Not a sword. It's kind of a Polynesian or Hawaiian flaming dance.
John
He's got a couple of sticks on fire.
Freddie
Yeah, there is something on fire.
John
Two sticks. Yes. He throws it in the air and he. Holy cow. He's got this stick on fire and he throws it up in the air and he opens his pants up.
Brady
One more try.
John
Every stick goes right into his pants. Oh, he's got it up against his genitals. Now they're on fire. Oh, clearly he's got his. He's lit his genitals on fire accidentally and he's pulled them down. His pants are what's burning. Thank goodness. But, oh, he's got little red underwear on. He's like Dave Pratt.
Freddie
It's adorable, those rayon pants.
John
The first. The first fire stick throw goes right through it, goes right into the pants and drops. Drops down through the leg. The next one, same thing, gets a little bit stuck. He plays with it for a second as a laugh, then realize he just lit his dick on fire. And that's a Christmas special on Beth's.
Brett
Show, the Ugly sweater party this year for down the hall, the Flaming dance.
John
With the Christmas music. That's the Beth show. And her dick's on fire, too.
Brady
Next one's a little skydiving accident. Stuck the landing.
John
Oh, it's a POV from the skydiver who's coming in hot. Goey hits a road, then he bounced up and now he's. Oh, is it broken? How badly? How badly?
Oh, this is why you don't do that stupid activity. Oh, he comes in smoking hot, hits the road, and then screams the F word. And then. Oh, man, that leg is done.
Oh, bonus. I caught that right on time. Bone is sticking out.
Brady
The last one. The guy said, yeah, we all do.
John
Yeah.
Brady
Taking a dare. Watch. I'll go right underneath his truck.
John
Nation. Oh, underestimated. He tried to be cute and do a trick where he didn't get in the middle, but the driver of the truck saw him and then weaved to try to avoid the guy, and all the tires went over.
Freddie
Well, he went perpendicular.
John
Yeah, he laid. I think that's suicide. Yeah, I think I thought he was playing to try to get under the truck. I think he wanted to lay under to the tires. And it Worked well.
Freddie
The guy always have your have your buddy film it.
John
Good news.
Brady
It didn't delay the delivery.
John
When people say you can do anything you want, just try. I don't agree. Certain things you shouldn't do.
Brett
Amazon and Asia was not going to make that delivery. That guy had prime.
John
I had. That was the 30 minute worms and eels to get to some restaurant. And that dump was Toledo in the back of that on an excursion.
But today we drive around, we kill the locals. You're gonna kill some locals? Yeah. Five.
Miles
Five.
John
Yeah, that bad guy. Five baht. Give that guy five. But let's go kill some locals.
Miles
Five. Bot.
John
You can do that over at all Prochet. They got a whole section. Oops, I shouldn't have said that.
Sorry, guys.
All right, Brady.
Freddie
We're getting calls today.
John
Yeah. What do you say? Why do people keep coming in here with guns? 40 people arrested at all Prochet today with their guns out, brandishing weapons and asking for the special room.
Brett
Fast and furious over there.
Miles
Jesus.
Freddie
Topped only by the Tempe Tavern arrest.
John
I was there yesterday. They got a shooting gallery in it.
Brady
They test how strong the screens are.
John
Yep.
Sorry, guys. It looks like you're gonna have to close your. Your bullet to play. Brady ruined it. This is second worst to you. Wrecking that Hugh Jack Logan. He dies. What? It's not even out yet. Yeah, I saw the premiere. He's dead, you dick.
All pro shade guys are popping off shots.
Put it away, guys. Put it away. Brady wrecked it. Freddie wrecked everything.
Brady
There's a poster of me up there already.
John
Yeah. Can we still use the. Nope. No lightsabers, no nothing. No more weapons at the shade shop. Turns out we got to go to some pre approved place. Can't just set that up.
Freddie
Who messed this up?
John
And you think about it. When Brady said that, we all were like, cool. But if a guy's like, hey, I've been to Safeway and I was in the back and they got a shooting range, he'd be like, they're crazy.
And crazier still, he wrecked it.
You were just kidding, right?
Brady
Oh, yeah.
John
That was a fun joke. That was a fun made up story about that shooting range. Well, if it's still permitted by the old body armor people. Because I'm sure you probably have to go through a couple channels to have live rounds fired into a wall at a facility.
Freddie
Guys are like, jesus.
John
I know. Well, he wrecked it already.
Sorry about that, guys. We love those guys too. They're great people.
Freddie
Oh, Broche, we just. We just got our brand new Black curtain over the back.
John
Back way.
Freddie wrecked it.
See, I like this. This is a good. This is a good shade. This is the old. We call this one the Onyx 475. Sorry about that. I said shut the door. Sorry about that. Anyway, these little numbers will do all sorts of blocks out. UV rays, really dangerous rays. Is it bulletproof? We don't know. We're testing that.
Freddie
It's why we're here today.
John
That's why we got that back room.
Guys, I'm telling you, they can hear it out here.
Sorry, chief. I just came by for a little action.
All right, Bert, what do you got?
Brett
All right, well, Bailey found someone that maybe could. This broad could take on Shaq.
John
No.
Miles
Whoa.
John
Oh, she's built. Oh, my God. Look at those muscles. She's naked, and she's got a wiener hanging down there.
Biceps are huge. Her fake cans kind of don't fit.
All right. No, she's doing a flex off in her. She's got a pretty big base for her bedroom. That's a dude, right? Look at the lady button. It's bigger than mine.
Okay, how long does this go on? We're halfway through the. 20 seconds. Oh, man. She's making her. She's flexing her chest, and that is weird. She's flexing her fake boots. She's like. She's like Terry Crews.
All right, all right.
This says don't do this at work or.
Like, a helpful video for you not to do this. So we've got a. A surveillance camera, and a guy's opening a gate. He's got a hard hat on. And here comes the semi truck out the gate. There's two people walking down the sidewalk, and. Nope, the semi truck seems just fine with that. The guy starts to shut the gate. Oh. Gets clipped by it. Oh, he's. Oh, he impaled himself.
In between the gate and the truck that was going by.
Brady
Look at that.
John
Oh, it's just been ripped off of his body by the truck going through the gate. And now the. The truck's backing off. Oh, we've got video of him in the.
Freddie
Or are we cutting off the arm?
John
Oh, my God. He's scissoring his arm off, finishing the job. Oh, this little man.
Miles
Oh.
John
Oh, the safety vest. Does nothing. Does nothing. It's completely useless, that safety vest.
Oh, my God. It just ripped his arm off.
Brett
We'll just end here.
John
Oh, ending already. Here's a lady who's got a man's testicles in a girl from before. Like, if you were to. She's got him in a headlock, his testicles.
Freddie
And then he's got, like, your back.
John
That's. That's a big. I don't even know where that guy is. I think she's pulling. They're pretty red, and she's punching them while she's got him in this weird ball headlock.
Miles
Wow.
John
All right, well, that's a move in tactical black. I have to learn, because I think you're gonna subdue the attacker.
Brady
Yeah, the ball lock.
John
There's a ball lock with your elbow crook.
Freddie
If Jake came to you, all right, we're gonna practice our ball lock.
John
No, we're not. I told you the time that Josh and I were going and he made a move and my knee went up, and it would have gone where his balls are, but his balls had moved to the. I need a man in the taint. He fell on my knee as I was on the ground with my knee up, and he. It was just an awkward move. Rarely happen. And it should have hit him in the balls, and it didn't. But, you know, when your knee touches a man's tank, it's immediate, like, oh, shouldn't have done that.
I'd rather hit him in the balls. And then we laugh. Well, everybody but Josh laughed and laughed for half an hour. I think Josh gets out of the hospital pretty soon. That was a goof. Just in the mental hospital. You don't want a man's knee touches your taint against your will, and you're. You're mentally screwed up for at least the holidays. There you go. Those are weird one. That's your Brady Report. We will decide who wins Palladio next. After a little recap and then some deliberation, we'll find out the winners of Palladio this year. Next, it's 98, KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
You thought that was funny?
You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?
I never paid attention to Tinker Train that closely. I like that song. I always have. I always knew kind of a theme of it. I didn't until just now realize he's singing from the point of view of the rapist. He's playing the part of the. He's not singing about Mr. Tinkertrain. He is Mr. Tinkertrain.
Brett
Somebody needs to put a Chris Hansen sample right in the middle of that song.
John
How you doing tonight? I never realized that until I'm listening to it. I'm like, wait, you keep saying I.
The Lyrics like, I've come to a palace full of fantasy toys you've never seen Mad Made in a bit obscene. Come along and play my game. It's from the point of view of the child molester. So I looked and I said, why did Ozzy write that song? And whose idea was it to have him sing it as the molester himself? At least Aqua Lungs. About a guy that says, ozzy wrote the song as a warning for his own children against child molesters. So that's how you just have to understand. They wouldn't get it unless they heard their daddy as the molester.
Larry
Right.
John
It was really registered. I don't think that was necessary. All the other guys in the band are like, you sure you want to do this, Oz?
Miles
Yeah.
Brady
Yeah.
John
Now I'll play the part of the trial molester. And you guys do that. That's why you guys do the parts about announcing me almost introducing.
Brett
Chopped it.
Freddie
A little bit of it.
John
That's why they call hair mist. It doesn't work unless I'm actually the rapist. You're not wrong. And Zach's like, you know what? He's right.
Well, let's try it one more time where I'm actually involved in it. I'm, like, enveloped in the character of child molester. I think it'll hit harder.
Freddie
You wanna.
Brady
His video idea was.
John
Yeah, the video. The video. Brady's right. We had the video idea where I was. I was lurking for kids. Was it standing Butchers? I've got Candy.
Sweetie's little girl.
I only said no to that.
Larry
And people didn't like to see this.
Brady
MTV wouldn't play it.
John
No. I was the prince of darkness in ways you can't even imagine. I think my Satan stuff. Nothing compared to this.
Miles
Well.
John
The kids have to come along and play my game. And then. And then I say in the song. And. And afterwards, you'll never be the same. Which is alluding to the. The loss of innocence that I'm stealing from the children. Hello, Phoenix. Jesus Christ. Is he singing or anything? He's. I was out in the crowd.
And he made us say it.
They made me sing it as the rapist.
That's why they call me mister.
I don't like that song anymore. I don't know if it's aged poorly or I've aged better. I don't know what just happened.
Anyway, I'd like to say thanks to Rochelle and Craig, our Gilbert pod. People that come out to our events. And she came out again last night. And the reason I'm Bringing it up is because Craig is three years older than me, and someone said, is your dad with you? It's happening too much.
Freddie
I heard it, overheard it. Yeah, because you had to.
Brady
You had to.
John
You did a Brady. What's what? Because I didn't believe. I'm like, I thought Tripp was standing behind me because he was. He's also full silver. And now I turn, I see Craig, and I'm like, dad, like, we're the same age. And again, if you're ever confused for my father, it's not because I look so good. Maybe think about dyeing your hair Chinaman black for a few days.
Freddie
What you didn't hear was, Rochelle, lean into me and go. If he asked me if I'm his mother, I'm throwing blows.
John
He didn't. He said, there's your elderly aunt available. I said, no.
No. I would say, all right, let's get to it. We have not written down our. Let's just recap. Palladio. Last night we sat and did our pallio night with all the bands that were there, and they were all a lot of fun. Let's kick it off with the one Rest in peace to one Star night who weren't there. And me tell you a story.
Miles
A man named Piss Ball. Peter's dick.
John
So Smiley pissed on his ball.
They would have done very well last night. I think we all agree that as high as we were after last week's.
Playing of all the songs and we ended up going, this is like the best year for it. I was. I was a bit, no offense to all the bands, let down that I wasn't blown away by anyone last night. All of them were very good.
Brady
Agreed.
John
But nobody made me go, oh, my God. And that's happened in the past at the live show. Like, it's so much better live than it was. And what. Yeah, this year it was better through recordings.
Freddie
Katie and the Hobbs last year.
John
Katie and the Hobbs killed it last year here. And even talked to the girl from Katie and the Hobbs last night afterwards, and she said, she goes, just didn't seem like anyone was, like, really having fun. They were just going up there and doing it. Maybe it was nerves, whatever. Everybody played a song, did a very good job, and then walked away like, I hope that was enough and let the room be bigger than them. Nobody took over the room last night. Let's just say that the closest one was the. The guy's graves of the monuments. And they just came in and they were pretty aggressively.
Brett
They're definitely happier live Are they happy?
Miles
Yeah.
John
This is the Carpenters compared to what they do live.
I gotta say, I like this better.
Brady
A lot of people were asking me, what was that? The. The bass sound that was being made live?
John
I don't know.
Brady
It sounded like a weapon.
Freddie
He was breaking strings.
John
I think it's his bow and arrow. And he just turned. Well, look, he's a Native American. They have those. They were great. I really enjoyed them. That is a loud band and that is a. I mean, aggressive style of music. We also. We kicked it off with the Thomas James Band. And they got extra points because they set up the stage for all the other bands being first. And. And that, you know, was the. The kit that they used for drums was the. The in house one, the Copper Blues one. So everybody had to play the same drum set. And those guys set it up. It was just laying on the ground. Thomas James. Ben came in at the end. He said, hey, we really appreciated you doing this for us and then allowing this to happen. He goes, we already wrote your theme song, by the way. Just. We're gonna send it to you either way. Anyway, that's pretty awesome. They came out and did Stone Cold Killer, and I thought they were great.
Miles
Something I think you should know. I'll give you some eyes I got a long time ago. Oh, my God, I was here before you. You say you leave your heart on the side of the road and pick it up when you know you got to be so cold.
All right.
John
Those guys were really good. Great song. Like that a lot. And just hearing it right there, another bit. They sound like the Struts a little bit, too. It's. They've got a little something happening in seven or eight different directions. I like Thomas James Band a lot. Made me want to go to bars where they play because they are a great bar band. So if you're going out and you want to have a Friday night with a bar band and you see Thomas James Band is playing, it's worth it because those guys put it out there and they're great. That was fun. The other one that they had was the mess I made. Now, these guys fired their guitar player. Did we? Did. I asked why, but they didn't really give a good answer.
Freddie
Yeah, I didn't want to get into it.
John
Yeah, well, it was like somebody's girlfriend wasn't involved. But you want. And we tried to get the soap opera, but they. They had a new guy there and it was the third time they'd ever played this song, even rehearsing. So they Killed the song called Bleed out. And they did a great job. They were really good for a group that just met one of their dudes.
And I like them better live than I do.
Miles
Yeah.
Brett
Their new guitar player kind of stole.
John
The show, though, like, for them watching on stage. And that was one thing. Nobody really owned the stage. That guy was the closest one you're looking at going, man, I can't get enough of watching that. He was fun. And then our own John Gordon's band, and we didn't even know he was in this until we played the song. It's called Without Fear. The song is called Gaslighter. And they knocked. They knocked it stiff. They played really well. And this is their submission. And they played this last night.
Miles
This gate.
So light it up. And as the Smile Cris.
John
Cool song. And they knocked the harmonies out live, which is never, never easy to do in a bar. And they were. That was really good. So nice job by them as well. Without Fear. And then the girl we forced to. To do this, I feel like we coerced DJ Bathsheba into doing something. She continually told me, I'm not a performer. I'm not a performer. Yeah. And then she went up and she's like. She was shy and scared and uncomfortable. And I think the reason that it comes across as less than we wanted it was because the song she submitted, Fire and Freedom, is so big, and she's so big on it and live. She just did not want to do it.
She's a studio queen. She's not ready to be up on stage yet. And she tried to tell us that, but she will be someday. She emailed me and said it was a pleasure to meet you guys. I love you already. Thanks so much for having me in the competition as a songwriter and studio performer. No, Nope. We didn't have you on as that. We had you on as all of it. And eventually she'll be all right. But her live performance last night, the whole room was, like, rooting for. Nobody was, like, booing or upset. She was just. She was up there by herself. She doesn't have a band, so she played tracks, and the other bands were like, oh, I guess we're doing karaoke tonight. I'm like, give her a break. She'll be all right. But that. That Fire and Freedom song is something. So I think we should write down our. Our. Our wants. Will it be the Thomas James Band? Will it be Without Fear? Will it be Graves of the Monuments? Will it be the Mess I Made or DJ Bathsheba? She's still in it if you guys want to throw it on there.
Grading the performances, I'd say no. 1 was a heavy A, but there was a couple solid Bs. And we're just writing down number one. Just whichever one you want to write. The winner of the deal. There's four of us.
Give your answers to Toledo, and then we'll have this band.
Write our theme song. All right, I've given mine Toledo. There's four. This shouldn't take long. Calculate the answers. First vote on survivor is Thomas James band. Thomas James band. Second vote.
One vote for Thomas James.
Freddie
Thomas James band.
John
Two votes for. One more vote for the Thomas James band, and they win Pledio $2,000 and they get to write. Okay.
Freddie
Without fear.
John
Without fear is the one vote for without fear.
Freddie
We could have a tie.
John
Well, don't you vote? I did. Oh, you had two without fears. Oh, Thomas Jones, you voted for the Thomas shape. That's Brady's. I can tell by the handwriting. That was mine, actually. Jesus.
Brett
You know our handwriting.
John
I'm sending you both to penmanship school. That's a.
Freddie
That's all he did was write tsb.
John
That's smart. He's figured it out. I should have thought that he's figured it out with nicknames and abbreviations, and now he doesn't even write the word. All right, well, there you go. The winner of this year's playdoh is the Thomas James Band. Stone cold killer was the song, and it was good.
Freddie
They were prophetic, right? You said they already wrote it.
John
They wrote this. They're done. They don't even have to go into a studio. They did it before. So let's hear our winner for this year, and congratulations. Thanks to everybody. This was by far the best as far as volume of good acts that we've had play this game with us. And local music is still alive. I'm not sure where. I don't know where you go to hear it anymore. I mean, you got the 44, and.
Freddie
I even asked last night, like Kristen and all that.
John
She goes that various blues bars. A few. But I mean, where's that?
Brett
Has music on the weekends, too.
John
Local legends has music.
Miles
Yeah.
John
So you can go out there, too. You'll find it. But you got to search it out and you find bands like this. Let's hear the Thomas James band. Our champions for 2025 at Stone Cold Killer.
Miles
On the side of the road.
She ever let it get this far? To know if you're still in? Now are you still in?
God, staring through her her boyfriend left long ago.
Having the skills doing B is a will said something I think you should know I'll give you survives like a long time ago I'm a guy that was here before you youu say you leave your heart on the side of the road and pick it up when you do you know you got to be strong cool then from the bottom time you do a stone cold killing machine it dies in your veins you can justify the ends from the me make.
What you are.
Doing the problem in the back daw car.
Counting all the money in the world wouldn't justify things going far so we'll give you some eyes I got a long time ago what got ever new he said you lean your heart on the side of the road and pick it up when you went through you know you got to be stone cold.
Killing machine.
You can justify the an.
They can see that you are.
I gave you some advice I got a long time ago oh my God I was healing for you. You say you leave your heart outside of the world making up when you say that now you got to each sound cold you live for the part of the times you do a stone cold killing machine with eyes in your veins you can justify the internal and see what you are.
John
There you go, the Thomas James Band. They are this year's winners and I'm happy to have them. Nice job. Actually when I wrote my vote down, thought I'd be the only one. I thought you guys were going to go with without fear or graves of the monuments.
Brett
No, I was close.
John
Yeah, look, they were all pretty close. So there you go. Congratulations. Thomas James Banner as Brady calls him the tjb.
Which is all also I think a disorder with your jaw. I got the tjb.
But anyway, congratulations. Now we eagerly await next year's morning sickness theme song from our friends. That's Thomas James Band. Very excited for you to send us your thing. And then every day that we are on live next year, the Thomas James Band will start the show and play every single day. So we'll get their name out there as much as they need need it out there so.
Freddie
Oh, I was also asked by a few people last night to put a collection together of all of the theme songs.
Brady
I'll do that.
Freddie
I'll put it on podcast.
John
Let's step Brett to it on one of those Saturday shows. We can do that too. Yeah. Kill some time on a Saturday morning just playing themes.
Brett
Let's work.
John
I gotta do. That's exactly right.
Freddie
And there's a bunch you haven't heard.
John
Yeah, that's true. Oh, that's true, too. There's some I've forgotten. I don't think I've ever been like, that's awful. There's some I played around with, got a little bored with as the year went on.
Freddie
But when you added it, was it whistle? You added all this whistle.
John
Well, they'd left me much space to play, and I just started to add. You know, Walker told me I have AIDS and all that stuff. I was just putting drops in. Congratulations, Thomas James Band, you're the champs. And to all the others that entered, you're Losers. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
You thought that was funny. Homburg's morning sickness. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.
Miles
What the hell? It's.
John
What's wrong with you?
Just reading a story about Chris Paul, former Phoenix son, 2021 NBA Finals. The point guard. The point God. He has been released by the Clippers. Let loose. He's 41, I think, or 40 years old.
Brady
CP3.
John
CP3. He's done. And, you know, he's not. That team is terrible. They're 5 and 16. The Clippers are. It's not his fault. They're bad, bad, but they're just cutting. And he was probably a Clipper longer and more. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. He's been on, like, nine different teams. The question, I wonder is, will the Suns put him in the ring and should he be there?
That's a tough one.
Like three or four with sons. He. Maybe three NBA Finals.
Brady
They're powerful years.
John
Well, one of them was. The next two were wild letdowns because they. Well, they did have a great season. They won, like, 64 games and then.
Brady
Got bounced two out of the three.
John
It was a good season, but, boy, they just. They fell apart.
Miles
Does he go.
John
I think that's the crappy thing about Phoenix sports is they keep glomming onto stuff that's not really theirs. And I'm going through that with my Steelers. Looking at Aaron Rodgers, and I'm like, he's not a stealer. Like, this is just a rental. And Chris was kind of a rental, and it worked out.
So do you put him in the ring of honor up there? Some of them. I don't know. Like, I don't even think Amari Stoudemire should be up there. He was good, but I think they just. They want. They want to be Barkley. Oh, that's a tough one, too, because it's the same deal. Yeah, it's the exact same thing. Barkley showed up in what, 93 and left in 97. Yeah, it's the same exact thing. And Barkley is a legend. But was Chris Paul as part of Phoenix as Charles became?
Brett
No, I don't think so.
John
You know, and at that time especially, Charles became like the face of the city. And we were also. You and I both lived here in the 80s, and this wasn't a town people paid attention to at all, kind of. Until Charles Barkley got here, Phoenix was a. It's an afterthought. He showed up as a.
Brady
That second place was legendary.
John
It was an. They celebrate that second place down the city. They all. Two years ago, the sun celebrated 30th anniversary of. I'm like. Of losing. But we loved that team. Charles Barkley was more of a personality. He's as much in the ring of fame for the Suns for being a personality than he is for being a player. That team was relevant before Charles got here. They were in the NBA Conference finals a couple of times prior to that. So I look at Tom Chambers and Kevin Johnson and I'm like those guys synonymous with the Marley, for sure. Cotton Fitzsimmons. And you start getting down that row and then you look over at Barkley and you're like.
But he's up there. So is Chris Paul that.
Brett
No, I don't think so.
John
Because I don't think. I think he comes. Here's the thing. The biggest reason I don't think it should happen, he comes out here, he gets his, you know, honor, and he goes back to LA where he lives. Charles is here. Like I go to sons games. And sometimes he's there.
Brady
Nash.
John
Nash is up there already. And Nash was drafted by the Suns and went to Dallas and had good years and then came back very similar. But Nash was. I think Nash is a Phoenix son. I think if you think of him, you think of the Suns. I think even Bar, I think both.
Brett
To be honest with you, I think of him as Dallas and a son. I mean, like, he's look, you know, kind of like Carlton Fisk, you know, both Socks Red Sox and White Sox. You think of them as both.
John
I mean, Shaq was on the Suns.
Miles
Do we.
John
No. No. Right. So mean, just because they went to the Finals, does that mean that. I mean, Devin Booker's going to be the face of this team forever? Yeah, because he's got four more years left and he's going to stay here. And I don't KD Would. No. You wouldn't put Katie in? No, that was a complete. I think I'm wondering how much the city has to actually glom onto the person cuz KD never fit in here as a member of the community. You know, his FA like Marley's is a name people know and they think, oh, Phoenix Suns, whatever. And he did most of his damage here with the Suns. But you know, Charles has the same vibe in Philadelphia and people still associate him with the Suns because he went to the. I don't know. I don't think CP3 gets in, but I have. I know Phoenix sports fans love doing honors to seemingly prop up the meaning of their franchises. I know. Look, I don't. I like Kurt Warner.
Brady
It seemed like we got CP though in the. In the tail end for some reason. Charles was more in the.
John
Charles definitely. Yeah. In the middle of his. Is great. He won the mvp. Yeah, he, you know, he was basketball for. But I mean Chris Paul took a team that was horrible and pushed him over the. I don't know. We do it. Kurt Warner's in there, Charles Barkley's in there. There's guys who showed up for a couple years and had pops. Carson Palmer is in the Cardinals ring of fame. So if I'm a real. I'm a. I'm a true sports guy that says I don't put you in there unless it's absolutely synonymous with my franchise. And you were kind of the man.
And I don't think Chris Paul was.
Brady
I agree.
John
I don't think he should go up. But I know for a fact they'll put him in there. And in 10 years they'll celebrate the 2021 team that lost. And it's a weird year too because they had the COVID stuff and all that. So I don't know. But Chris Paul careers probably coming to an end. The Suns might resign him. I wouldn't be surprised they did that.
But that's a. That is such a weird thing. The Ring of Honor honor. I want somebody who lives here. Even Shawn Maran's in the Ring of Honor. And I was like, what are you doing? Like that guy became other. Like everybody's like, he. Why no championships? I'm a big one for that. You could have been great, but if you didn't bring a championship, you better have been extra great. And Sean Marion didn't bring anybody a championship. I loved him. I thought he was a great player. But why he's good for the Suns. But did the Suns do anything with him that was. Was Eh, Conference finals anyway, and everybody. You're right, Brett. People are saying it. Everything. When I think of Steve Nash, I don't think of the Suns. I think of babies that aren't his. And that's just rude, I think.
And we should put Leandro Barbosa.
Brady
There you go.
John
In the Ring of Honor for making you think of Steve Nash when he was a son. You sons of. Anyway, that's Phoenix sports for you though. It's gotta. I just wish it was more cemented and. Nope, not good enough. It's got to be incredibly great or the. The Ring of Honor is just becoming like, oh, you were here for a couple years, just sold some shirts, we liked it. And then they move on. Jersey sales are more what they're putting up there now.
Brett
What about. What about like Gracie with the Diamondbacks?
John
I hate that people say that. I don't. I hate what. He's one of the legends. But they did go out and buy a world championship and he was part of that.
Brett
But I consider him a Cub.
John
He's a cub. 100% cub. But he did get his one and only championship here. Randy Johnson. When I watched him up in Seattle, you know, for the World Series, and all of a sudden he's wearing Seattle gear. I'm like, no, your hours. Your Kurt Schiller. Kurt Schilling gets nothing here. He's up there, but he gets nothing here. If Kurt Schilling comes here, it's like he went a little crazy too, though. Gonzo. Just played a few years. But that championship changed everything. If you win a title, everybody on that team is now stamped. Yeah, but I mean, for the Diamondbacks.
Brady
That one time, yeah, that's.
John
That's all they had.
Brady
It's all stamping right there.
John
That's it. When you, once you, once you lift that trophy up, those guys are. And they were. And with three year old team, so, I mean, it was like really miraculous. You couldn't have history at that point. It had to be borrowed.
Brett
Place players waiting for Cardinals to put Emmett Smith in there too.
John
Oh, God. Well, Edger and James Costum. People forget that Ed and James was here on that super bowl team. And he's up in that thing too. It's like the Cardinals.
Miles
Yeah.
John
The Cardinals try to act like they're better than they were by putting anybody with a name that's recognizable in their Ring of honor. When I think they should do it less. Nobody cares really. When you go there, you're like, I think most people would come here and go, Edwin James was a Cardinal. If you're not paying attention to the Cardinal Cardinals, somebody from out of town be like, I thought he was a cult. The whole no played here. It's 909. Anyway, CP3.
Thanks. Probably they'll put him in and I'll go get a hot dog while they're doing that whole thing. They did it for Sean Marion last year. After the game they had a big ceremony and the game ended. And then I went home and I turned the TV on and it was still on. And it was like 11:30 and there's a, you know, a bunch of people sitting around giving speeches about Sean marion. And like 20 people stayed in the crowd and cloud like, this is. They got to do this before the game. This was terrible. And then Sean just started sobbing. And then it got funny because I like when men cry. We got ourselves a Rock wars coming up. In just moments. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
You thought that was funny?
You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?
There you go. It's Zombie. Right there is Rob Zombie's new stuff. I listened yesterday on the drive. It was great. Really good. Very happy with that and very happy that Brett's not gonna.
Not gonna just let last night be the only time he shakes hands and kisses babies. Today he's going out again. Fisher Tools. You did this last year. Fisher Tools is having like a demo day, right?
Brett
Yeah, it's huge.
John
Gotta have the demo day. Fisher Tools is over on 3rd street in Tempe, just south of Rio Salado. If you want to go over there today. Brett's going to be there right after the show, 11 o', clock, you're going to head over, hang out until like 1. And they're going to do all sorts of stuff. I remember we did one, I, you and I did the other one and we got to drive all the big stuff. Letting you do that?
Brett
No, this is mostly like, like hand tools and stuff and power tools.
John
That's what I'm saying. You get to play with everything.
Brett
Oh yeah, yeah. They got like 40 vendors or out there. It's crazy.
John
They got a shooting range like some of those other places.
Brett
I wouldn't say if they did or not.
John
That's a good man right there.
Brady
I can hook you up.
John
Anyway, it's going to be packed up with giveaways and 30 top vendors in the tool industry. You can go over there, have lunch, hang out with Brett and the Big Red Radio. They're going to Give you some food you can park for free. They say that. That's what it says right here.
Brett
I know, I know. I said right here.
John
Just see it, like, free lunch.
Brett
That's what you need to know.
John
That's all you need to worry about. It's a free lunch.
Brett
Come on, Brady, let's go.
John
And they always say, sounds delicious. If they don't have it, they can't sell it. See what They've been the Valleys go to for tools for over 60 years. Fisher tools. Brett's gonna be out there to Nine Inch Nails. Tickets in your hand. Bad Omen's gonna be tickets. You give away KUPD stuff like crazy. So head on over there and say hi to Brett Chris, and see if you can shake it. Brett missed one of our listeners. He's like, you know, I haven't seen Chris for a while. I'm like, well, let's get him over to Fisher. Yeah, yeah.
Brett
I'll be waiting.
John
Maybe they'll have a T shirt for you. Be nice. That's a beautiful thing. Rock wars is right around the corner. It's already late. I won two weeks ago, so I'll do it. This Ozzie Osborne's birthday.
Brady
Yeah.
John
All right, so I want you to give me a song that introduces me to Ozzy again, because it's one of the deeper cuts that makes you go, holy crud. Ozzy's awesome. One of those.
Brett
That isn't no crazy training.
John
None of the hits.
Brett
Okay. All right.
John
Give me something that probably should have been on that list.
Miles
List.
John
How about that? An Aussie song. Not Sabbath. An Aussie solo song that you're like, man, everyone should know this. This is my go to deep cut on Ay. I got a couple albums. I can think of two songs.
Freddie
Why do you do this to Brady?
John
That's how. That's how the score is 17 to 17 to 4.
Brett's in 17. I've got 17. Brett's.
Freddie
Brett spotted you guys. Three months.
John
Yeah. Brett's first win was April 2nd. Brady's last win was May 7th. So I think Brett kind of. Of just a while he sprinted past you. You haven't won since May 7th. Get on the ball, brother, and good luck. See, that's the thing about winning Toledo. Why do I do this to Brady? Because I make it harder for the guys I'm giving the topic to. So a song that's deep. Oz, it's his birthday. So a deep Aussie cut that makes you say, man, that should have been one of the smashes. Don't know why it is. And it could be something we've heard, but it didn't really explode. You know what I mean? It didn't really explode. I've got a couple that I'm like, you probably know, know it, but it never really is in the mix of Ozzy's greatest.
Brady
Still would be deep for me, so.
John
Oh, yeah, most of them are deep. And that's why you have four. Because we pick topics wisely 34 times.
Let's get to it. You have any suggestions? If you've got an Aussie song that's in your head. Oh, man, this is mine. And it never gets played on the radio. Never really did. It's Happy birthday to Ozzy 77. Rock Wars. Coming up next, Morning Sickness. The 98 KUPD.
Larry
Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
John
Ah, better late than never. It is time for Rock wars.
And it's brought to you by our friends at Mo Money Pawn. It's a couple weeks since I've done this. Gotta get my paper back. There's that, there's that, there's that. Where's the page now, for crying out.
Brett
A short, long term.
John
I know, I know. There it is. Shorter long term collateral loans from $10 to $100,000 or more. No credit needed in top dollar. Paid with the entire process just taking several minutes. Mo money pawn.com specials going galore at MMP guns as well. Yeah, give it a hundred bucks off the builder classes. Ask for it by name when you see it.
Brett
And I got the Byron special still going on.
John
Byron Christmas special has just come up. Yeah, Santa Byron is there. And if you catch him sitting down and you get on his lap and tell him what you want, he has to give it to you.
Brady
Free picture.
John
Yeah, but you got to sit down and a free picture. Of course, of course. That saying.
All right, the topic this week, because it's Ozzy's birthday. We lost him back in July celebrating Ozzy's birthday with a song that I guess the best way to say wouldn't make it on to the greatest Hits because it wasn't necessarily a commercial smash, but you could hear it and go, man, that is the. That is the Aussie song I would love if it were a hit, if it were a bigger song. Quintessential Ozzy Osbourne. Brady, I'll start with you because I'm curious what you found on the Internet.
Brady
2007 off the black Rain album. Oh, I don't want to stop.
John
Oh, yeah, that was the. That was actually a really good song.
Brett
It was.
John
They and this was solid, right?
Freddie
And I get you guys. I did this with Brett's song too. So I'm not doing it with just yours. Here's some facts about I don't want to stop, okay? WWE used I Don't Want to stop as the official theme song for the pay per view Judgment Day, and he later performed the song live during WWE Friday Night Smackdown. Formed it on Jimmy Kimmel Live. He performed it at VH1 Rock Honors. It was also featured in the video game Guitar Hero on tour. Was it Madden NFL 08? And still also released as downloadable content.
John
For Rock Band to his credit. Never a huge smash, though, right?
Freddie
That's why I'm just.
John
It was just everywhere.
Freddie
Giving you the facts, it was out there everywhere.
John
This song should have been bigger.
And this is the most toledoed you'd ever been because the whole time he.
Miles
Was talking.
Freddie
To the chorus.
John
It's a good one. It's a good choice, Brady. Because the newer stuff didn't ever get the pop that it should have. Because after the show on MTV and all the stuff, he kind of became campy. So when Ozzy released songs, it was like, oh, that's adorable. Horrible. He sort of lost the label.
Brett
That was one of his best later tracks.
John
Really good. Yeah, I don't want to stop. That's a solid one. All right, Brett.
Brett
I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back to Jakey Lee's first album with him from the Bark of the Moon album, Rock and Roll Rebel.
John
I don'.
Got the laugh.
Miles
Got everything.
John
Quintessential devil.
Brett
Everything in there, you know.
John
And Jakey Le's guitar. Oh, man.
Good one.
Brett
And he had to follow Randy Rhodes.
John
I mean, that was a tough game.
That's a solid one. Nice choice there. Rock and Roll Rebel. I thought the song that popped in my head head was 10 years older than it actually is. I thought this was a mid-80s song. And it turns out it was off of Osmosis, which I just looked up. I didn't realize how great that album was. And it came out in 95. Perry Mason, see you on the other side. And then I chose Thunder Underground, which I think is great. Most azie song that Aussie ever did.
I love the song.
And I couldn't remember if I played it a lot or if it was played a lot. So I googled it and said, was it a hit? And Google said, no, we played the.
Brett
Hell out of it here. But yeah, but I mean, that whole.
John
Album got played dead here.
Miles
Yeah.
John
That's everything you want From A is in this.
That's great. I like that one. We got good choices. Is here, gentlemen. Who will it be? We'll go to the final call. We don't have time for any of that stuff. And I don't think John Gordon's friends with us anymore.
Because we didn't pick him. You know? Will it be Brady's choice? I don't want to stop. From 2007 for Ozzy. Will it be Brett's choice? Rock and roll rebel from 84. Three, I think. No kidding.
Brett
It was on Bark at the moon.
John
Good lord. Will it be 1995's Thunder Underground? The song that isn't one of Ozzy's biggest hits but makes you say, man, that dude was great even when he wasn't flashing. I think all three of those are good.
Brady
Yeah.
Brett
People are digging deep on this too.
John
Had he not had all the hits we know and those three songs were his hits, they'd be legend. He was in his own way at a certain point where some of his good songs couldn't get over because the better ones overshadowed it. Who will win it? We'll go to the phones, find out.
All right, I'm just grab. I'm grabbing wildly and saying, hi, there. Who's this?
Oh, are you there? Oh, boy. Here we go. Hi, there. Who's this? Hey, this is Frenchie.
Miles
How you guys doing?
John
Oh, Frenchie's on. All right, Frenchie, what do you got for us? Who's gonna win this week? I'm gonna have to go with Brett, man. I love that album. Once Randy Rhodes passed. That was awesome, man. Love it. Brett was smirking. You didn't think he'd pick you.
Brett
I thought he was gonna go with you on this one.
John
Really thought he was gonna go with Frenchie loves me.
Miles
Yeah.
Brett
David Vasquez want right here for you.
John
Good job, Gaultier. Talk to you later. There you go. That's the win. Brett gets the win and puts. Damn it. Takes lead 18:17 into the final week.
Brady
Two weeks. Yeah.
John
This one says my vote goes to Brady because I can't vote for bald today. Come on. Talk about this. That is harassing.
You lose your job.
Miles
Vasquez.
John
How does he have a job?
The HR department's tied up in the corner with chloroform. Everybody everywhere. All right, we'll do it. You got it ready to after the break. Oh, I see. We'll do it after the big. Yeah. Rock and roll Rebel. You son of a. All right, now it's 1817. And that's really all we need to concern ourselves mathematically eliminated. But Brady's got four. But you never. Hey, last week we'll do it for old playoffs. Yeah, it's a playoffs you get. There's three playoffs 15 though. I don't sure. I don't know. I don't know. We'll draw out of a hat the number that Brady's will be worth that day after if he wins. Just to make it fun. There you go. It's coming up next. Ozzy's birthday. Happy birthday, Oz. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
You thought that was funny?
You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?
That's a solid one, Brett. All right.
Brett
I'll.
John
I'll let you win a late. A late season victory with that one. That's pretty good.
Brady
Yeah, me too.
Brett
Brady was solid today.
John
Great. Yeah. And this was a topic he was afraid of. How did you find the song?
Miles
What.
John
What did you google?
Brady
I was listening to a couple of songs that I didn't like. I'm not sure by the title.
John
Okay.
Brady
Like if I've heard this song. I heard that one. No, I. I just went down a list of Aussie songs over the years and same thing. A couple that. That you like when you talk about Perry Mason. I thought that was a lot older than what it was.
John
Sure. But did you go to apple itunes and just go down the list of songs?
Brady
No, I just went straight up Aussie songs and went down the list.
John
It's not bad. You did well. Everybody did well. Kudos from all the emailers too. Saying, nice job, guys. That's a good one for Ozzy's birthday. A nice tribute to the.
Prince of darkness.
Brett
I might have to go back and listen to osmosis now.
John
I know osmosis. Look, this embark at the moon too. That's a good day to do it. Last time we did this, it was because Ozzy died and he's got his birthday today. 77. It's time now for Brady to give you all the entertaining news he knows. We call this the entertainment drill. And that's brought to you by our friends over@reactdefense.com celebrating 25 years in business. And that is something we understand because we're going to do the exact same thing in 2026 and they're going to do it with little deal for you. And that's 89 for the month. That's easy. Not just this month. Any month you want to get in the month that you do is 89 bucks. So let's say you get it now and you give it as a gift certificate. That person can use it whenever they want. How about that? Go in there and you buy for yourself. You go, I can't start till February. You're in. It's okay. You don't have to jump right in today. I suggest you do, though, and hop in on this thing. 89 bucks for a month of training there is absolutely unbelievable believable. And you can defend yourself from all sorts of crazy stuff like me getting roofied last night. Somebody put something in my drink. Now, Jay Ackerman up there has always said, I always tell women, never ever leave your drink unattended and never accept a drink from someone you don't know unless they're like a server or something. Even then, it's kind of risky now. They keep. They get your brain thinking different ways. And evidently I left my drink alone last night and I paid for it because something was in there. I convinced of it. I feel too normal now compared to how I felt last night. If I felt like that, the way I felt before bed and I woke up feeling okay, there should be something attached to this. Should have listened to Jay. That's what I'll do. You should too. 89 bucks for the month. That's nothing. Reactdefense.com It's a great present. It's the home of Tactical Black Brady Entertainment.
Brady
HBO just started Streaming Madman in 4K. You've jumped in on it?
John
Love it.
Brady
Apparently they used some wrong files that they sent over to hbo.
There are many files that didn't include post production work, so there's some interesting flubs. For example, in season one, the episode called Red in the Face, that's where Roger Sterling vomits in front of a group of prospective clients.
John
It's a great one.
Brady
You can see two crew members at the edge of the shot managing the puke machine.
John
Oh, really?
Brady
Yeah.
John
Now I want to watch it on HP. I'm watching on AMC storage.
Brady
Oh, okay. Yeah. So on HBO and 4K.
John
Okay. I don't care about 4K. Does anyone go, well, I'm not watching that. It's not 4K. I don't know. All right. Just because it's 4K. Yeah, yeah. It's easier to stare paying for it, I guess.
Freddie
You may as well watch it.
John
Christina Hendricks face. Man, oh man, she perfect in that thing.
Brady
You'll like this. Leslie Odom Jr. Is going to adapt. Adapt the Rolling Stone article about Sammy Davis Jr's ties with the Church of Satan.
John
Oh, yeah.
Brady
He's taking that article and turning it into a horror movie.
John
Oh, cool. Eddie Murphy talked about that quite a bit. Sammy being a Satan.
Brady
Yeah, I'd like to see the Roll Out a documentary on that stuff and.
John
See how deep it got. Yeah, like, did he try to summon him? I mean, if Ozzy was the Prince of Darkness, wouldn't it be odd if Sammy was like, his right hand man?
Miles
That's.
Larry
Me and Sammy Davis are gonna go.
John
Out and try to summon the beasts of hell. That's right, man. We're out tonight. Me and the ass man. I said, sammy's the candyman. No, no, no, I. Mr. Tinker Train.
Brady
The Stranger Things finale. Netflix just revealed the 500 movie theaters that'll be shown on December 31st. They put the list out. There's like 10 or 11 cinemas here in town that will be showing it. It's two hours and five minutes long.
John
No, I won't be there.
Brady
David Letterman just listed the new guests that he'll be interviewing on his new season. The three episodes include Michael B. Jordan, Mr. Beast, Jason Bateman.
John
It's a good list. I love Letterman. Loved Letterman. He was never a good interviewer. And this show. My next guest. Yeah, I don't think is. I don't think he does a very good job. He had Kevin Durant on there, and it bored me to tears. Dave's interview style is strange. It's not.
Brady
Watched a couple of them when it first came out, and then, like, I've just never really gone back.
John
The. The one with Stern was good. The one with Tina Fey was.
Brett
Because Stern was.
John
And he took over. Tina Fey kind of did the same thing.
Miles
It's.
John
He's not a solid interviewer. Stern's a much better.
Miles
Oh, yeah.
Brady
Like, Quentin Tarantino gave a list of his top 20 movies of the 21st century.
John
I read this. Okay. Larry Mack. Okay. Yeah, no, he's the same. That guy. Okay. Paul Dano's a miserable actor. I'm kind of getting him confused with Stern right now. Very late in the day.
Brady
We'll give the top five.
John
Okay.
Brady
There will be Blood 2007.
John
Great movie. And that's the one. He said Paul Dano is a crap actor. It would be number one if they had a better guy than Paul dan.
Brady
Dunkirk. Number four.
Freddie
Really good movie.
Brady
Lost in Translation. Number three. 2000.
John
That's his third favorite movie ever.
Brady
Yeah.
John
The Bill Murray 21st century. Oh, oh, oh, okay.
Brady
Toy Story 3 2010s. Number two, too.
John
It's brilliant.
Brady
Number one for Quentin Blackhawk. Down 2001.
John
Kidding.
Freddie
I like that one.
Brett
It is. But it surprised me. That would be his first.
John
You know, that list is all strange.
Brett
Yeah.
John
Also see, he's a weird. Okay, okay, okay.
Brady
He had Shaun of the Dead in the top 10.
John
It's a great movie.
Brett
Did he put any his in there?
Brady
No.
Freddie
Was he allowed?
John
He would have put them 1, 2, 3. Yeah, well, I mean he would say that out.
Brett
I mean, once upon a time in Hollywood should have been right up there.
Brady
He had.
Miles
Okay.
John
Making Jackass movie.
Brett
Yeah.
John
Jackass the movie is one of the funniest movies. School of Rock, Number 14, Team America, Jackass the movie are the two movies I've laughed harder at than anything in my life in a theater.
Freddie
But Once upon a Time in Hollywood is that good.
Brett
I loved it.
John
Me too. It took one time to love it and two times to like put it in the pantheon. It's in the top five.
Brady
He's a big fan of the Devil's reject.
Brett
That's actually a good movie. Out of Rob Zombie movies, that's probably his.
Brady
The only one.
Brett
Yeah, yeah.
John
The other ones are terrible. Okay. I'm gonna be taking out all this. Okay, okay, okay. We used to have a guy here. Okay. No, what? Okay, we had a guy here that named Larry Mack who's down in Tucson still.
Brett
Yeah, yeah.
John
And he used to always say, ok, okay, okay, okay. And it's very Quentin Tarantino. And now when I. When I see.
When I see any Quentin interviews, I just see Larry. Okay, okay, okay. No, listen, listen, seriously.
Miles
Okay.
Brett
I'm gonna be driving to finish your tools. Doing. Okay, I gotta take a break.
John
No, give you. Right. Okay, I'm gonna take a break. Did you go break.
Brady
Okay.
John
Right.
Brady
Okay.
John
Okay.
Brady
I did mornings one week with I.
John
Know after 9 11. He was Larry Mack's sidekick. Do we have tape of that?
Miles
What the hell are you saying?
John
What are you talking about?
Miles
Okay.
John
Have I not known that this. Where is John? Why is he not back yet? Okay, 911's bad, Brady. Okay, 911 is really bad. But it's probably gonna make movies about it.
Freddie
Was Larry bald at that time too?
Brady
Oh, yeah.
John
Oh, yeah. Okay, let's. Okay. Brady's news. Okay.
Freddie
Bizarro sickness.
John
Okay.
I didn't know what we were gonna do if John was here. Okay. Okay. Let's just play some more tunes. Okay. Here's a local band I know. Okay.
Miles
Okay.
John
Yeah. I left for a week and a half, maybe longer.
Brady
He did some amazing impressions.
John
I bet he did Quentin Tarantino. Okay, okay. When you movie Jackie Brown.
Brett
Is that okay?
Miles
Okay.
John
Yeah. But Brady and him had to do the show together while I was off in New York pulling bodies out of the house.
Brady
Then it was JJ in the air chair.
John
Did he sit in there too? Oh, geez. Louis Louise, I'm so sorry. 911 was hard on you.
Brady
That was.
Brett
What are you guys doing?
John
I don't think it's a good idea to have.
Miles
I wonder.
Freddie
Brady's forgotten. Never forget.
John
No kidding. I'd erase my memory too. I'm going deaf as fast as possible.
Miles
Okay.
John
Bye baby.
Miles
Okay.
John
I miss you, baby. Okay.
Brady
I don't know about this radio thing.
John
I think I should get back into sales.
It's 10:09. We're all done. Larry's coming up next. Brett's heading out to Fisher Tour Tools. And that is over on 3rd street in Tempe, just south of Rio Salado Parkway. You get to play with all the tools. Buy them if you want. They have everything including a free lunch. Brett will be out there at 11 o'.
Miles
Clock.
John
We're done.
Brady
Okay.
John
Okay. Okay. We'll see you guys next time. Okay, bye. In morning sickness.
Brady
Okay.
John
Arizona's most powerful powerful rock radio station.
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Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Air Date: December 3, 2025
Episode: 12-03-25 – FULL SHOW – WEDNESDAY
Main Theme: Recapping a night of local music competition, humorous current events, musings on modern life, and classic morning show banter.
This episode revolves around the lively aftermath of the show’s annual local band competition (Palladio), personal and pop culture stories, audience interaction, and the usual razor-sharp, irreverent humor fans expect from Holmberg & crew. The hosts dive into event recap, personal experiences with alcohol and the bizarre, true crime, technology paranoia, and satirical takes on pop/social issues, all delivered with a uniquely unfiltered Arizona flavor.
Supporting DJ Bathsheba’s courage:
“It was a neat moment in the room because you felt like the whole room had her back... It’s hard to watch somebody that talented not believe in themselves...” — John (02:06)
Talking about mining:
“It’s called the glory hole... There was a big gold mine glory hole somewhere nearby…” — John (05:32)
On internet searches used in court:
“You should be allowed to have your porn searches, not ever apply to your personality... your brain will do all sorts of goofy stuff.” — John (13:26)
Technology distrust:
“If they said, ‘Hey, we’ll put the neural link in, it’s free, want to test you out?’ No, you wouldn’t do it. I think I would.” — John (24:46)
“I don’t trust anyone right off the bat on that.” — Brady (25:36)
Drunk misadventures:
“Yeah, Roofy stories that you make it out of and your ass is okay—hilarious.” — John (45:14)
“Getting drunk has been going on since the beginning of man. We figured out how to ferment something, and we just started sucking on that…” — John (48:10)
Shaquille O’Neal domestic violence riff:
“You can’t be the face of male domestic violence. Nobody’s feeling bad at all. That’s a… you’re wasting everyone’s time.” — John (55:57)
The hosts maintain their trademark blend of sarcasm, outspoken humor, local color, self-deprecation, and off-the-cuff banter. Irreverence and satire are layered throughout, with rapid story pivots and in-jokes for the loyal audience.
This episode is a quintessential slice of “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness”—a raucous, deeply local, and pop-satirical morning show. The crew’s storytelling and their ability to riff on basically any topic, from local legends to viral news, drunken wisdom, technology paranoia, and classic rock, create a tapestry that is both hilariously unfiltered and sneakily insightful. The segment on the local music contest is heartfelt and highlights their engagement with Arizona’s culture (albeit always laced with jokes and jabs).
If you want true Arizona radio chaos-and-genius at its best—this is your episode!