12-04-25 - Emailer Is Having His Gallbladder Removed Today - Environmentalists Rant Against Michael Jordan For Renting Huge Yacht - Taliban Has Some Good Ideas Like Filling Stadiums For Vengeance Killings And We Wonder If There's Concessions

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – 12-04-25

Episode Theme:
A blend of irreverent humor, medical stories, pop culture rants, and social commentary, this episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness careens from listener letters about surgery to a comedic takedown of environmentalists, satirical musing on public executions in Afghanistan, and light-hearted banter about pop culture and video games. The show’s signature: lampooning current events and cultural norms with sarcastic wit.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Surgery Tales: Ranking Internal Organs

• Gallbladder Removal Story ([02:58])
  • Listener “T. Van” emailed to say he’s having his gallbladder removed:
    “I have to have my gallbladder removed F my life.”
  • Holmberg’s Reaction: Downplays the seriousness, joking about the organ's “ranking”:

    “Your gallbladder comes out and you’re like, what was that for? ... Rock, paper, scissors of organs. Kidney smashes gallbladder.” ([03:28])

  • They riff on surgical “bad news”—lung and kidney way more serious than gallbladder or appendix, which are treated like body “hangnails.”
• Body Part Removals
  • Discuss kidney, liver, lung, appendix, and how doctors sometimes just guess whether organs are necessary.
  • Holmberg shares anecdote about his uncle’s bladder removal and bodily function rerouting.
• Advice to T. Van:

  “You got bad news, but you got the best bad news you can get.” ([08:02])

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2. Aging and Social Commentary: Short Haircuts and ‘Big Clothes’

• Birthday Shout-out ([09:03]):
  • Holmberg congratulates a 35-year-old listener and riffs on “aging out” of the best years, joking about how women “give up” by opting for “big clothes and short hair.”

    “Some of your friends, wives have just gone to big clothes and short hair, and you’re like, oh, she quit. She quit. It’s over.” ([09:43])

  • Teasing about “fun” hair and the insecurity of drastic hair changes.

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3. Environmentalist Rants & Michael Jordan’s Yacht

• Michael Jordan’s Yacht Rental ([11:40])
  • News that Jordan is renting a multi-million-dollar yacht sparked backlash from environmentalists.
  • Holmberg’s Perspective:

    “Who would you rather be friends with? Michael Jordan... or the person that's in his pocket screaming about success and how stupid it is and the environment’s going to die if you go on that yacht? ... Michael’s ten times more fun than you environmentalists.” ([12:29])

  • The hosts lampoon activists for being “no fun,” pushing the idea that being a vocal environmentalist means “ruining everything with your complaining.”
• Hypocrisy in Environmentalism:
  • They point out activists use gas-powered boats to protest, and joke about how “annoying” righteous people make them want to own a yacht out of spite.
  • Satirical suggestion: Host environmentalist parties on a yacht “and row it” ([16:02]) for fun.
  • Skewer PETA as inclusion: “They make you hate them so much that you’re like, you know what? I might just go slap a dolphin. I’m tired of you.” ([16:36])
• Notable Quote:

  "The ultimate sign of success is environmentalists bothering you. If Greenpeace is bothering you, you have hit the new level of American success." ([15:12])

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4. Stadium Vengeance Killings in Afghanistan: Satirical Sports Spectacle

• Taliban Justice & Stadium Executions ([21:02]):
  • Story about a 13-year-old Afghan boy given the choice to execute his family’s killer before a crowd of 80,000.
  • Hosts’ dark comedic take is to compare this to American sports events, riffing on stadium experience: vendors, jumbo-tron replays, “undercard” matches, and novelty event t-shirts (“shooting boy bobblehead”).
  • Holmberg:

    “Sometimes the Taliban has some good ideas.” ([21:02], [38:46])
    "80,000 people in Afghanistan didn’t have anything to do that day, so they, like... tailgated." ([30:57])

  • Banter about what “sports” might fill such stadiums in Afghanistan—dead goat polo, soccer, “oak barrel rivalry week.”
  • Imagining fried food, bobbleheads, and football-style giveaways at public executions.
• Subversive Satire:
  • Mocking American culture’s reactions, comparing Afghan justice spectacles at stadiums to lackluster attendance at Arizona Cardinals games.
  • Quote:

    “If we had a kid shooting a guy and we had to house it [at Cardinal Stadium], we wouldn’t break their record for attendance.” ([33:38])

  • Joke legal ads: “Stone man. ... I am the Stone man. ... Stone her. ... Call the Stone man.” ([44:32])

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5. Pop Culture, Video Games & Influence

• Influence of TV & Video Games ([39:03]):
  • Discussion about the argument that violent media influences real-life violence.
  • “Grand Theft Auto” as example—no one in real life jumps cars off transport trucks, so video games aren’t making people more violent.
  • Holmberg’s point:

    "TV and games influencing people is not a thing. Not even close to a thing. Don’t want to hear it. It’s silly." ([41:46])

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6. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [03:28] John: “Rock, paper, scissors of organs. Kidney smashes gallbladder.”
• [08:02] John: “You got bad news, but you got the best bad news you can get.”
• [12:29] John: “Who would you rather be friends with? Michael Jordan or that person?”
• [15:12] John: “The ultimate sign of success is environmentalists bothering you.”
• [16:36] John: “PETA... they make you hate them so much that you’re like, you know what? I might just go slap a dolphin. I’m tired of you.”
• [21:02] John: “Sometimes the Taliban has some good ideas.”
• [30:57] John: “80,000 people in Afghanistan didn’t have anything to do that day, so they, like... tailgated.”
• [33:38] John: “If we had a kid shooting a guy and we had to house it [at Cardinal Stadium], we wouldn’t break their record for attendance.”
• [41:46] John: “TV and games influencing people is not a thing. Not even close to a thing. Don’t want to hear it. It’s silly.”
• [45:01] John: “Stone man. ... I am the Stone man. ... Stone her. ... Call the Stone man.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Listener organ removal and surgery banter: [02:58]–[08:50]
• Birthday/aging and social commentary: [09:03]–[10:26]
• Environmentalists and Michael Jordan’s yacht: [10:26]–[21:02]
• Taliban, stadium executions, and Afghan sports satire: [21:02]–[35:17]
• Video games & media influence debate: [39:03]–[41:59]
• Legal/commercial parodies and callback jokes: [44:10]–[45:30]

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Tone & Language

The episode is filled with Holmberg’s trademark deadpan, irreverent roasting, and rapid-fire pop culture references. No topic is off-limits as hosts tease one another, embrace the ridiculous, and poke at the boundaries of “good taste,” all while maintaining a self-aware, comedic lens on news and society. The language is casual, occasionally edgy, and always mischievously satirical.

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For New Listeners

• Expect sharp-eyed, darkly comic social observations and local Southwest flavor
• No sacred cows: anything from surgeries to international politics and activism is fair game
• Notably, the humor may tread into controversial or discomforting territory—intent is comedic, not endorsement

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Recommended Listening:

• Segment on stadium executions and Afghan sports culture ([21:02]–[35:17]) for prime satire
• Riff on environmentalists vs. Michael Jordan’s yacht ([10:26]–[21:02]) for biting, playful social critique

Transcript

[Announcer]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, it's John Holmberg from the morning sickness. When my beloved dog Dutchy started to slow down, I knew in my heart the time was going to come. That's when I reached out to Happy Endings in Home pet euthanasia. Once Dr. Fixler got to my house, he explained every step, answered all the questions, and created a peaceful, loving atmosphere. Right there we were able to hold Dutchy on her favorite blanket. Happy Endings made it as peaceful and dignified as the moment could be. If your furry companion is getting close to that time, whether it's a dog or a cat, and you want the comfort of home, the compassion of profession professionals, and the dignity your pet deserves, call Happy Endings. Visit online Happy Endings euthanasia.com because every pet's life should have a happy ending, why choose a Sleep number?

[Co-host]

Smart bed Can I make my sight softer?

[John Holmberg]

Can I make my sight firmer? Can we sleep cooler? Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side. Your sleep number setting J.D. power ranks sleep number number one in customer satisfaction with mattresses purchased in store and online. And now all mattresses are on sale, plus free home delivery during our cyber week sale limited time. For J.D. power 2020 information, visit J.D. power.com awards check it out at a Sleep number store or sleep number.com today. You thought that was funny?

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?

Thank you. Miles to nowhere. Oh Katie and the Hobbs, how we will miss you. If Thomas James Band doesn't have an awesome opening song. The bar set so high by Katie and the Hobbs that we hope that are champions for next year. Thomas James man, who also, by the way, told me they've already got the song written and finished.

[Announcer]

They were confident.

[John Holmberg]

They were. They seemed pretty. They were good. I liked what they were doing. So let's see if it. Let's hope it fits.

Let's hope it fits. I'm going back and forth with a guy named Jason Schwartz who we're he emails a lot. He's very funny guy and he said he used to put magnets up against the TV when he was a kid. The screen. His dad would lose mine because I always used to do like I said. I would take the turntable and roll it backwards a lot. Make the backwards sounds. Yeah, and I remember doing that too. And Dan was none Too pleased. Because I was too stupid to realize I was probably gonna break it if I kept doing that. I did it right in front of the needle. Dad, watch this. And you put the magnet up against the old TV and the whole screen would start to wiggle and wobble and move and turn green and. What the hell are you doing? Huh? Look, it's cool. Stop it. You're gonna break it, you moron. But it did. I'm just. Get outta.

[Co-host]

Get.

[John Holmberg]

What do you have, Marcy? No more goddamn magnets. He's too stupid. And then I started to notice the magnets were way high up on the fridge. Couldn't get them. They were freezer magnets now.

Can't reach all the magnets. Cuz it's stupid. You put them up against the tv, we're gonna lose the Magnavox. And how dare you have a Magnavox. Basically says magnet on it. It's begging for it.

Morons. A couple emails, guy says, I'm entering the Brady world this morning. I have to have my gallbladder removed F my life. Signed T. Van. That's not so bad. Gallbladder. So that's probably an easy one, isn't it? I know it's no fun to have stuff removed, but I mean, kidney versus.

[Co-host]

Gallbladder or you know, appendix.

[John Holmberg]

Brady seeing you kind of like as a pussy for complaining about that to him. Because kidney, kidney, it's like if you were playing gallbladder.

[Co-host]

Seven and a half pounds.

Still.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. Rock paper says they don't ever go, well, we're gonna have to do dialysis. Your gallbladder comes out and you're like, what was that for? It's like we don't even know. Bile or something. I don't know. Rock, paper, scissors of organs. Kidney smashes gallbladder. Complete winner on that one. So Brady's got a cooler surgery than that. I mean if you're getting stuff removed, it's like the top one is lung, right?

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's the biggest celebrity the other day that had lung removal.

[Co-host]

Partial lung.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they chunk it up. The liver is not so bad because they can take pieces of that. It'll grow back a little bit. Still don't want to find yourself in the need of a liver. It's going to screw you up. Appendix is basically a hangnail inside your body.

Doctors don't even know what that thing does. And like we can pull it out.

[Co-host]

That spent.

[John Holmberg]

I like the one, doc. The first doctor that said, what do we just take it out? I don't think this thing does anything. And he was right. How many arguments did he get into? We can't just start. It's got to be there for a reason. I'm like, yeah, but we don't know.

[Announcer]

Oh, my beer.

[John Holmberg]

Try it. This guy's complaining. He's here every week. Just pull it out. It's like the truck. Like, I think we can do without this. Like an alternator. This is dumb. Let's just get rid of it.

[Announcer]

Well, how about the first guy that had it done? Like, all right, Doc, I guess, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead, pull it out. We're going to do. We're going to. We're going to replace it from his mirror. It's like a bottle. You're going to put a towel in there or something, sop up the juice? No, we're just going to pull it out and see how it goes. You all right with that? Like, Well, I mean, this hurts so bad. I think. Yeah, I think that's the best option. Or maybe the dude just cut himself open and ripped it out and goes, I'm fine. Like, absolutely no changes in my life or lifestyle. This is. I don't think we need these.

[Co-host]

Explode. They didn't know what's going on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we got to take it out. And then what? Nothing. Really. That's. That's surgery. Yeah, we take it out and then nothing. We sew you back up. Nothing's like a tooth. You'll do. All right. So I got like, five or six of these. Nope. The only one. And you're just gonna just. Yeah. Your body doesn't need it. I had busted a little bone in my hand a long time ago. Tiny little. Couldn't move my wrist. I'm like, God damn it. I think I broke my wrist. And I don't know how. This tiny little bone down here is. You're like 3,000. Jammed it up and it broke. It cracked in half and.

[Co-host]

But prevented your wrist.

[John Holmberg]

No, I could move it. It just hurt. It always felt like something was going. Think like somebody just took a needle and just jammed it into right where your wrist meets your hand. I see. Got a little crack on that bone. I forget the name of the bone. That's the closest I've ever been to Ken Griffey Jr. It's because he had. They just take it out. Like it doesn't do anything. Like, it doesn't. No, it has to. Like, years from now, science will discover. Oh, man. That's like the thing that. He keeps you alive. But appendix. That's a nothing one. Your gallbladder is pretty low on the list of scary. Although if you keep a sick one in there, you get real bad because they don't replace that either. They just pull it. My uncle had his bladder removed, and that's kind of neat because he said, I still have to. I still know when I've got a pee. But it just happened.

[Co-host]

Just direct.

[John Holmberg]

It just goes right into the bag. And he can still do it. Evidently. He's like, no, I can still go. I can seal up the bag and it'll come out, but I. It'll tell. My body goes, hey, I think you gotta pee. It's like. It's pretty immediate. Like, how neat is that? Like, it's not worth the cancer that he had. But it's kind of a neat story. But your gallbladder, you're going to be fine, Tvan. But it does suck to go in and get that done, so hopefully you're good. Kidney removal is a big one. That's a. You had a big one. That wasn't. That's no joke. Liver, kidney, lung, gallbladder. I mean, the more we talk, the lower you get on the list. I can't bladder everything else inside you.

[Co-host]

Well, if you're talking about, you know, volume to amount of gallbladders removed, probably more crazy kidneys, but I don't know. I've run into a lot of people.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Co-host]

I've been one kidney for years.

[John Holmberg]

I think you can call a landscaping company and have your gallbladder removed. There's nothing.

Yeah, those. Those are. Those operations you can do at a. At a hotel. No, he's had a gallbladder removal operation going in room 10B at the best Westerns. Like, yeah, but that's. So what.

[Co-host]

Hold my phone up and following the instructions here.

[John Holmberg]

Gallbladder removal for dummies.com.

See, my abuelita, well, she'll be assisting.

[Announcer]

Is.

[John Holmberg]

Your grandmother's going to assist us? Yes. Do you need any dental work? She'll do that, too. Yeah, why not? But I'm thinking all the stuff in my body to have removed and gallbladder, appendix, or 1, 2 on the. Okay, I'll do that. So what I'm saying. T. Van is. And people think I'm a pessimist, but I'm not. You got bad news, but you got the best bad news you can get.

You know, my mom had breast cancer years ago, and I remember my sister and her were like, oh, it's the end. Stage one. Terrible, terrible diagnosis. But I'm like, guess what? If you're going to get bad news. This is the best bad news you could have gotten. I mean, you're at the low level of bad news. So there's a solution.

I don't want to quote people who love saying there's a final solution, but there was a final. So we can make this go away.

It says, gallbladder is just three holes Nowadays, back in the day, they'd flap you open like an L. Just cut an L in you and open you like a Samsonite. Reach in like when you're trying to get. Oh, yeah, I forgot to pack my phone charger. And you just unzip part of the suitcase, shove it in there and go. That's what they used to do to your gut. Now it's three holes in the back and they suck it out.

[Co-host]

It's just tweezers in a game of operation.

[John Holmberg]

Your kid don't touch the side. Your kidney's fairly remarkable. Just kind of a little tiny hole. And they. Out of the hole.

[Co-host]

Five.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, five holes.

[Co-host]

And then. Well, then when they realized the payload.

[John Holmberg]

No, you had. You had a C section. You had basically had a baby growing in it. And this one says, John, I was curious if you could give a happy 35th birthday shout out to Colby Wolf, loyal listener. Only five years left until expiration. That's right, Matt. Colby is a woman. Evidently, that's kind of one of those. So the four. And when she turns 40, she'll be out. Thank you, sir. And we'll see you on the 12th at homework after dark, Matt Wolf. Well, thank you, Matt. And Happy birthday to Colby. 35. Don't waste them.

Keep it together. You've got. You got 12, 12, 13 good years of keeping it together before all your complaining just turns into bad haircuts and big clothes.

That's what you discover as you get older. Some of your friends, wives have just gone to big clothes and short hair, and you're like, oh, she quit. She quit. It's over. Sporty hair she got. Yeah. Whenever she says, I think it's just smart. It's just easier for me.

[Co-host]

It's fun.

[John Holmberg]

It's fun hair.

I said that to a woman the other day. She got. Her hair actually looked nice, but I thought it was funny because she got her. She cut her hair short. And I know deep down every woman that comes and goes, oh, my God. I said, did you cut your hair? Oh, I cut it all off. I knew that. Not an idiot. I say, kind of. I said, what does your hairdresser do for a living? You're Such an. Because I knew deep down she was. She was insecure about her new short hair.

She hated it. It's risky. But when they cut their hair short, they've. They're done. It's over. And I also saw this. You know what? I'm glad I'm not. And I'm never going to be an active environmentalist. And the reason why isn't because.

[Co-host]

Why would you shoot that down?

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you exactly why. First off, I care about the environment. I think we're messy. I think we could fix a lot by being cleaner.

[Co-host]

You're not doing your old school picnics where you.

[John Holmberg]

The old. Just litter bug me. Although I did at the golf course yesterday, Brady and I played and I. I just chucked a Coke can and missed the trash can. And also, by the way, you just drove away, so you're worse. I did. Yeah, I did. I missed the can. And then we're like, yeah, we got shots to hit. And we just kept our. Somebody will get it. It's a nice.

[Co-host]

There's people paying.

[John Holmberg]

It was camelback. We're keeping people employed. I say. But we. You know, it was one Coke can.

[Co-host]

Everything else was picked up.

[John Holmberg]

But an environmentalist would get all the mail. If everybody said, it's just one Coke can. There'd be 8 billion Coke cans laying around. All right, well, what's the difference? I mean, you just shove it into a corner. Essentially, it's just laying around anyway. You could recycle. Here we go. But I don't ever want to be an environmentalist. Mainly because. Not because I don't care. Because you're no fun. I saw this thing last night. Michael Jordan is renting yachts from this billionaire at $780,000 a week. Can you even.

[Co-host]

Is he renting his yacht? Because didn't he.

[John Holmberg]

He's got a yacht he rented from a billionaire. This. It's ridiculous. And they said it costs. I don't know if Michael's getting charged this.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

$780,000 a week. Michael has it for a month.

So I can't do the math, but that's an awful lot of money for a rental. Just for fun. And they're like, you know, and it just looks awesome. And there was this gaggle of environmentalists going on and on about. That's what happens. That's what happens to your money. Every time you buy one of his shoes or socks with the Jumpman on him, he just uses it for that.

[Co-host]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Like, yeah, three plus three mil a month. And it dawned on Me that. Who would you rather be friends with? Michael Jordan or that person? And we could Michael Jordan in a second. And not because he's famous or anything else. Who would you rather be friends with? Dude with a yacht. Or at least he's got 800 grand a week to rent a yacht and you can hang out with him and have fun or the person that's in his pocket screaming about success and how stupid it is and the environment's going to die if you go on that yacht. I'm like, no, I don't want to be friends with you. Every environmentalist you're telling me that gets to that level wouldn't take an invitation on a yacht to dick around with Michael Jordan. There. There's no way you could find the most ardent Greta Thunberg wannabe and say Michael wants to have you on his yacht for a couple days. When do what? Just party and have fun now? Are you kidding me? All right. You get a free pair of Air Jordans. I won't wear them. Like why? Because. Just use that money on more yacht time. You wouldn't. No. I'm going over to Michael. He's 10 times more fun than you environmentalists. PETA. You guys have to be more fun. You're always on TV bitching about dumb stuff. You're in Michael Jordan's pocket. So what? John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

The environmental cost of every yacht that goes blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, you guys take those gas powered boats out and start yelling at people on the ocean and you spend a.

[Co-host]

Month on a, a bass boat at $2,000. That's what Michael Jordan.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. If you spend a month on a bass.

[Co-host]

Three million to him.

[John Holmberg]

You're the. It's a strange homelessness. Yeah. That you're on a, on a ranger for a month.

[Co-host]

But why would you.

[John Holmberg]

But still they're getting in his pockets because. And there are, there are some things that. The worst part is the environmentalist is actually right. There is an excessive amount of that comes out of a yacht that you. I mean the upkeep alone with hourly operation. Yeah. The oil, gas and what it's doing. It's terrible. But you, you're so annoying that you make me want a yacht. That's how bad it is. I don't, I don't look at the environment. I look at how awful you are and I want to rub it in your face. It makes me want to succeed so I can buy dumb stuff. And the ultimate Sign of success. Is environmentalists bothering you? If Greenpeace is bothering you, you are the most. You have hit the new level of American success. If Greenpeace is like, you shouldn't do that. It's like, I must be super successful. They hate successful people spending money on fun stuff. He could give all that money to us. Oh, now I see. Okay.

[Announcer]

If I was Michael, I'd sit there and light my cigars with $100 bills.

[John Holmberg]

Just because I can't and just idle the boat. I wouldn't even drive it out thing. I just turn it on. I don't know what yachts make. That's the yacht noise bubbling and. Are you gonna turn that off? Nope. Just gonna let it run out of gas. We're gonna fill it up again. Why would you do that? Cuz I sell a boatload of shoes, you dumbass. Now get out of here.

[Co-host]

Powered by 50 Hellcat engines.

[John Holmberg]

Would you take your weak ass sketchers and walk away from my yacht?

[Co-host]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I can't believe it. Hippie. And you're never. You can't. It doesn't seem like they ever have fun. All their events are miserable.

Have. This would be awesome. Have an environmental party on a yacht and row it. And they look and make it fun. You'd laugh the whole time trying to row that thing. It would be a riot.

Giant. Or. Yeah. And just have all the we're selling a yacht, having the time of our lives and then, you know, put candles on it or whatever. I don't know. Don't use the electricity. But you ruin everything with your complaining.

Be more fun.

And it goes for PETA too. I'm all for think of the name People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Who's against it? But they make you hate them so much that you're like, you know what? I might just go slap a dolphin. I'm tired of you.

You yell at us all the time. Be a good environmentalist with like a. There's never one that's funny. No good sense of humor on an environmentalist. Like, God, that guy's hilarious about the environment.

The only way to be hilarious about the environment is to act like you hate it. Loving the environment just does not go hand in hand with fun people. We can quietly do it. But that's what I wish they were. Michael Jordan's out there. And she said at the end of the article, it was all like, they called it Jordan's Adventures. The whole time I'm like, right there, he's winning. That sounds more fun than what you're doing. But large yachts burn thousands of gallons of fuel every day, and they carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. There's more pollution in a week. If the Earth is gonna come to an end, how would you rather have it end? On a yacht or yelling at someone on a yacht?

[Co-host]

In picking that one particular one, I was just thinking, what about all the cruise ships? I never hear them talking about that. There's a lot of. Between all the different cruise lines.

[John Holmberg]

Good question.

Yeah. I don't know. Why don't they just stand outside a carnival in Royal Caribbean and get mad at them? Get shot? Well, yeah. In front of the carnival cruisers. You'll take a bullet, bitch. Outside yelling about, we're having fun.

[Co-host]

I got this. We're having fun.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going down the water slide on a waterboat. I'm on the water and I'm playing in water. In a boat. Shut up. You're ruining the environment. You're ruining the air, bitch. Shut up. Hey, Greta, look at these nuts.

Baby, get my. Get my bag real quick. It's over there. Next. It's in the. It's in the glove compartment of the Hellcat. Get. Go get that.

Hey, you bitching about the air. You look what's flying through it right now.

[Co-host]

It's my Gap.

[John Holmberg]

My family and I are trying to enjoy a carnival cruise.

[Co-host]

Well, that smoke.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. I took care of it.

Let's turn this bitch on, see what it can do.

Yeah, yeah. The cruise lines that offer like $100 nights. Oh, man, you don't want to yell at that cruise.

They'll pull over. Oh, yeah, that ends right there. Shut up. Oh, we got environmentalists over this. We got this. Don't worry about it. Hey, pull your boat over. What? You're killing the environment. Gonna kill your ass. You kill it. We was gonna climb the rock wall.

[Announcer]

Smoke that fool, doughboy.

[John Holmberg]

Take him out. There's enough of that.

[Co-host]

That boat has dock feelers.

[John Holmberg]

And then that big bass happens. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yo, yo, yo. We just shot an environmentalist. That's 10. Keep that alive. That is a fun cruise. They don't ever yell at cruises. You're right, because they run the risk of a mutiny of some sort. Quit yelling at Michael Jordan. That's an awesome life. And it just. It bothers me that anybody would. That would say, oh, I'm against yachts. You're immediately. Someone I don't want to hang out with. Oh, I would never like.

[Co-host]

Really must not have gotten the invite because usually when they do those yachts they invite like five or six families.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but look, but if somebody turned it now I'm like, look, if I had a bunch of friends, I'm like, hey, I'm taking my yacht out. Like, yacht, like a real one. Not one of those people that call a yacht like a. It's got 14 bedrooms, it's bigger than a hotel. Like, I'm taking the yacht out. This. You want to go? And somebody goes, no, I would never get on a yacht. I'm like, we can't be friends.

[Co-host]

A waste of gas.

[John Holmberg]

We can't. Yeah. If you're thinking about like, come on, Earth's been around for a billion years. If my yacht blows it up, it's a fragile bitch. Let's have fun on the way out.

I think Earth will be fine. We will die. And no one ever understands that. They think they're saving Earth because we're so arrogant as humans that we've got to save the planet. Planet will be fine. It'll just shake us off.

But Michael Jordan has to. And you know what the best thing is? Michael doesn't care. Just got back on the yacht, yelling at him the whole time like, ah, what are you gonna do? They're just jealous they don't have a yacht. That's really all that's going on here.

Could be worse. I don't know if you guys saw what's going on. You know this is going to be a controversial statement. Sometimes the Taliban has some good ideas.

[Announcer]

Oh, here we go.

[John Holmberg]

Let me just restate that. The Taliban. Sometimes you go, good on you guys. That's a good one. They have a rule there.

That if this dude went in and slaughtered like 12 people of one family left, like a 13 year old boy, that's he's the only one that survived the whole killing, killed the whole family. And then they caught him. And then the, the law over there in the Taliban that were always bitching about, you know, where they don't let women drive and stuff again, sometimes they have good ideas. They let the family, the survivors, decide whether or not to spare the life of the guy who did all the killing or to kill him. And the family that was left was 13 year old boy. Like, what do you want to do? And he goes, I want to ice that. I'm killing him. All right.

Here'S your AK. December 2, 2025. I don't know if they're on the same years as us. Roll them out there. And the boy will do it with a fork. You have to do it. So if you want him to die. You have to do it. So this 13 year old boy goes out. Where did they do it? A stadium. How many people showed up? 80,000. To watch a 13 year old boy kill the guy that killed his whole family with a gun.

[Announcer]

Where's the problem?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I didn't know they had stadiums.

[Co-host]

All right, I'm kind of swarmed afterwards.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I think Bad Bunny was there. They flew all those comedians over that did the Saudi Arabia show and they put them. It was, I don't know, 80,000 people in that. So I'm. We're all thinking it's like that's a lot of pressure. Roman times, where everybody just shows up and goes to the stadium. It's a stadium. It's a modern stadium, or at least modern enough. It's basically like Shea Stadium was in New York. There's vendors, so you can buy hot dogs. You get a hot dog. I don't think you get a hot dog in Afghanistan. I think they're gonna say you can't get beer, so you get like an iced tea.

[Co-host]

They nickname their different stadiums around there too. Welcome to Death Valley.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the Shoe. They call it the shoe.

It's 80,000 people. So it's a big house they call it. And they march right out in the middle of the stadium. I don't even know what sports Afghanistan's playing. Every time I got a video of Afghanistan, it's everybody just herding goats. I don't even know what they have. Soccer.

[Co-host]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

I guess every indoctrination and, you know, every guy that's come back from there has told me it's horrible.

[Co-host]

What's that game where you're hitting that dead goat around?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

It's not like it is nothing like polo. If there's a dead goat involved, it's Afghani polo. There's always a dead goat. That's called dinner. But I've never heard anybody go, oh, man, Afghanistan sucks. Except, you know, Saturdays just shuts down for football. Like what? They've got a stadium that holds 80,000 people. That there's bathrooms, there's vendors. They had to get like the guys.

[Announcer]

By concert shirts and everything else there. Execution shirts.

[Co-host]

Oh, that town right there, that's a death town right there.

[John Holmberg]

It shuts down for dudes marching up and down the stairs. Crab Collage, Mountain Dew.

They've got all of it.

Crab Juice, Mountain Dew. What.

They had to have, they had to hire a crew. They probably have a rah rah, Ruin I'll have to craft Kolash and a do Crab Kaleid stool. Crab Jones. No crab juice. Thank you. That's an old Simpsons reference. There's a lot of people out there laughing at that because it's very funny because there's a guy in the thing and walk by home and he goes, crab Mountain Dew. And he goes, crab Kalech.

Yes. And what it was, it was crab juice.

But yeah, they had to do that. 80,000 people going into a place. Don't just stand there, watch the killing and then file out. They're going to want to drink. Some of them are going to pee where there's some food.

[Co-host]

Preliminary killings.

[John Holmberg]

No. I don't know. Yeah, the undercard. Yeah, maybe they had a couple of like, all right, this guy raped my mother, so I get to slap him around for a little while. You can't kill him. Wasn't a death penalty. But if the family gets to walk up and just whack the dude once, yeah, maybe there was an undercard. But sometimes the Taliban has good ideas. Let's not dismiss it. Baby bathwater situation. Which, by the way, look up the reason that is a sentence. It's the creepiest thing ever. Used to wash. All the family washed in the same bathtub by age, same water. Babies were the last ones to go. And sometimes they get lost in the bath water. And when they dumped it out, a baby was in there because you couldn't see through all the dirty water.

[Co-host]

Yeah, they lived on the second story.

[John Holmberg]

It used to actually mean something. Don't throw out the baby with the bathroy. He could be in there.

[Co-host]

Happened.

[John Holmberg]

It goes, yeah, we need a sentence. We need a phrase for that. Too many people are doing. It was like a PSA on early billboards. Don't throw the baby before you dig. It's exactly the same. Years from now, they'll laugh. Why do we say call before you dig? Oh, in the old days, they used to just put shovels in the ground and blow stuff up. They were dumb. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. But yeah, they did the execution in a stadium and the death penalty was carried out by a 13 year old. We were just sitting there, you know, clutching our pearls, going, could you imagine?

And I'm like, yes, I could. It would be great. 13 year old boy, 12 of his family members killed by this dude. And he's in a courtroom or whatever they have there. Just probably some shack with a judge. And he's like, what do you want to do about it? He's like, kill him. It's like, all right, you're going to do it if you want him dead. I ain't, it's not on my hands. You do it. And he said, okay. And they handed him a gun and then filled the stadium.

[Co-host]

Did they do a replay on the jumbo?

[John Holmberg]

I had to, right? Or you make the call. Did you wing him? Like if I was, if I was that kid, I'd have shot like five times and missed on purpose just to watch that dude piss himself waiting for the one that tags him.

[Announcer]

Imagine Collinsworth being there on the call to this thing.

[John Holmberg]

I mean this kid's checking it around like my homes, you know, he's got the wild. He's, he plays like a child because he is one. And I tell you right now this crowd is in a fringe. They are whipped up and there is very few people on the murderer side. I mean this is, they do not travel well, the murderers family.

I mean there he comes, look at him, he's holding that gun, it's so heavy. They gave him a Desert Eagle. That's gonna be a big kick. He's. He might go down now.

Yeah, I, I looked at that and I said, what's the problem? A 13 year old boy, he's growing up in Afghanistan. He ain't growing up in Gilbert. He's not a 13 year old boy shooting. It's not, he doesn't. He's already mentally screwed up. He lives in Afghanistan. This is just teaching him to be an Afghan man.

He's already probably got, he's on his second job. His wife is just a bitch. He's tired of it. I don't know what goes on over there. I've never heard good stories. I've never heard one guy who was in the war come back and go, man, when they clean that place up, I'm taking the whole family over there for vacation. Like I didn't hear one person that went to Afghanistan and said there was something good about it. Night. The views were ugly, the country stunk. But they got a stadium. I've actually google mapped like some of the cities there. It just like it's all the same stuff. They don't know how to make roads, they're all curvy and messy. It's like LA and similar to some.

[Co-host]

Of our housing developments, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it's like those are the nice places. And then so I never once said, you know, stadium Afghanistan, never saw it. The Mountain Dew Crev Kalesh Stadium Churro get your churro.

The shooting begins in 10 minutes. You have your churro. We are cutting off sales.

Okay, everybody out. But they. They had to have bathrooms and attendants and ticket guys and be like the.

[Announcer]

Old lemonade guy at the DB Games and everything else.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they probably had that lemonade. Lemonade. Like Afghani grandma made. My Afghani grandma made crack. Lemonade. Oh, strawberry. Okie dokie.

Two cents. Two cents. My God, who has such money? I don't. And I don't think any of us do in America. Think of them like having a nice weekend watching sports. Do you? You've never thought that in your life.

[Co-host]

I bet you they have some good togethers.

[John Holmberg]

They had the game Saturday as Americans.

[Co-host]

All come on down to Bin Laden's furniture Outlet.

[John Holmberg]

We are so dumb when it comes to culture, and I'm the king of it. That if you told me, like, what's going on in Afghanistan right now? It's like, just meetings. They're all meeting to kill us. Like, all they're doing is meeting every day. They're praying, and then they training and training. They're on the. They're on the monkey bars in the jungle gym, and all they're doing is training for the next time we're there. They hate us. They don't have. Do they have food? I don't know if they have food.

[Co-host]

Nope. They live in caves.

[John Holmberg]

They live in caves and they eat goats. Just random wild goats.

[Announcer]

I mean, they don't.

[John Holmberg]

And that's what we all think. And you said stadium. I'm like, they've got a stadium for what? For their weekends of, like, sport.

Like when Islamabad, you takes on Michigan. Like, look at the arrival.

[Co-host]

Rivalry week.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They fight for the oak barrel this week. A big oak barrel battle. They do it. And we don't think of that, but they had a stadium for it. And then they broke out, like a special event. And we are people here. We're all upset. I don't know too many of my friends or anybody that I know that would be that upset at the idea. That's like, all right, you want them dead? You got to do it yourself. And then they sold tickets to it, and they showed up. They packed the place.

80,000 people in Afghanistan didn't have anything to do that day, so they, like. They tailgated, you know, that they were.

[Co-host]

I wonder what the giveaway was at the gate.

[John Holmberg]

They had a 50. 50 raffle. Tons of stuff.

[Announcer]

They got bobbleheads.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, bobbleheads.

[Co-host]

First 10,000.

[John Holmberg]

Get your shooting, boy. Bobblehead. First 10,000. That's gonna show up, get the prize and the T shirt. Bought this T shirt, ah, it's just a bit. It's a robe with no sleeves.

Yeah, I don't. I don't picture them ever having fun. And I'm sure they do.

[Announcer]

Can you imagine this guy saying, imagine Brennaman on the call.

[John Holmberg]

And there's Muhammad with a deep drive and they'd be thrilled with him. Welcome to the non capital of the world. Islamabad, Afghanistan. I'm Tom Brennaman and we're gonna watch a kid shoot a guy today and that's gonna be great. There's a deep drive by Castellanos and I can get away with saying all day here, infidel heritage. Oh, my God, it's great. I mean, that is a section of Twinks over there. And they should just have rocks thrown at them constantly, don't you think? There's the section hard throw by. Yeah. Alrighty. Winds up. First shot. Holy cow. This kid's all over the map. That missed. What? Killed a guy in the front row. He lines up for the second one. One. And oh. To the bad guy. Oh, that winged him. Took him in. The. Boy, oh, boy. I gotta tell you, I thought he maybe should go to a range before this. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think their team names are? They're like the Islamabad Bombers and oh, yeah, the pilots.

The Landers.

The Pilots. They call themselves the Landers. It's ironic. We never learned to land them.

We just do takeoff and then that's. You are trained touchdown. The detonators.

You know, I mean, a couple of those shots earlier on the undercard might be fight of the year. There he is. That's the one there. He took him down with a double. One to the head, one to the chest. You got body mass on that. That ended it. And this fight ends quickly. And the crowd is loving.

But it's. Yeah. I've never once heard anybody said, man, this guy said, yeah, I just googled maps. Afghanistan. Not gonna lie. Mexico makes that place look like a dump. I know. I'm with you. And Mexico has beautiful stadiums and a lot of money. I've never once said he's in. You know what, you never heard the phrase Afghani billionaire? The only one has bin Laden and he's from Saudi Arabia.

If there are Afghani billionaires, they're keeping it on the down low. But there has to be a guy who owns the team in that stadium.

There's a Stadium, holds 80,000. You know what? It's bigger than State Farm. It's bigger than the Cardinal Stadium, which only holds like 70. If we had a kid shooting a guy and we had to house it there, we wouldn't break their record for attendance even if we filled it up.

[Announcer]

Hear that, Cardinals?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you hear that, Cardinals? You can't fill it up. We got a 13 year old boy plugging a guy in Afghanistan. 80,000 tickets sold, everybody for the home team. Here you go on Ticketmaster right now. Plenty of good seats still available.

[Co-host]

You going? Yeah, I got a sweet.

[John Holmberg]

They're sweets. They probably had sweets. I got a good sweet. We got a caterpillar, tons of it.

All the goat you could eat.

[Announcer]

Cameron wants to know who the opener is for the execution.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what we were saying. Is there a band? Is it other. Other events, other crimes.

Drive safely for stealing.

[Co-host]

Couple hands.

[John Holmberg]

A couple of hands. God, yeah. I love this day. I love Saturday at the stadium.

[Announcer]

Do they have the muscle cam and everything else? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then at the end, the two guys. Oh, boy. They put a couple of fellas on the kiss cam. They're gonna get stoned to death.

They fall for it. Wow. Yeah, the moral police are gonna come for that one. It's like the kiss cam is a slap. Your wife cam probably is what it's called. Biblical whore cam.

Show her ankle. Show your. You know, they do the shoe cam up there at Suns games. You show, show your kicks. Everybody's just wearing sandals. I don't picture them having fun. They have fun. Now, the shooting thing is not necessarily the fun stuff, but it. 80,000 people, I guarantee you, like all of them were having a blast.

[Announcer]

They killed 13 of his family members. Sounds fun to me.

[John Holmberg]

He got. What's he got? What we should implement this.

[Announcer]

Sean Rockefeller says between the food, the body odor and the women, imagine the stench of that stadium.

[John Holmberg]

Man and death.

That's the least of the three. Well, Sean's blind, right? Yeah. So he smells everything. He's magnified. I mean, that's. It's going to stink, you know. But if you plopped an Afghani down at State Farm or Son's game and he smelled perfume and soap and all that. You guys are disgusting. He thinks we stink because he's used to it. His thing. They have restaurants. I don't think. We think that. If you thought, oh, like if You Google Top 10 Places to Eat in Islamabad, you would like nothing would come up. But they have it. They have to, right? They've got influencers. Sure, they've got five. Oh, and that was the one thing about the stadium too. No phones. So they had to have a guy outside with one of those bags because no one was allowed to film it because they knew deep down ah. America will get all goofy about if we do this. So don't show them.

[Co-host]

Jake Paul was there.

[John Holmberg]

So that. So right there it might have been a Jake Paul event. He probably wanted to fight the kid and then brag about what a good fighter he is. I took down that 13 year old boy with a gun. But it's. Yeah. They had to have. They had to. They had to arrange it like that a week before. They probably haven't. We need the company that does the phone bag lock. They were taking out everyone's phone. The Internet. It exists. They. Yeah. Yonder. Yonder. Made a contract with the guys at Yonder. Hello Yonder. I got a weird one here. We got a kid killing a guy. We're going to pack the house.

[Co-host]

How many bag?

[John Holmberg]

80,000 bag. No one can have phone but that means they've got iPhones. You don't picture that. Just. All I see is the goat farmer with that big stick walking around the middle of nowhere. That's what I think of when I think Afghanistan. They've got an airport. They got all sorts of stuff.

[Co-host]

Thousands of tiny trucks with 50 cows in the back.

[John Holmberg]

Tons of Toyotas with 40 dudes on it. Not in it.

[Announcer]

On it.

[John Holmberg]

It's going.

They probably even have like they've got technology. I don't even think of them that way. And that's because of the media and what they've done. They've made. They've made it like they just dirt people. They don't have sports. They kick cans.

[Co-host]

And there's 80,000 sat phones in that stadium.

[John Holmberg]

Tons. Yeah. Take a picture of me standing in front of this. Take a picture of my food.

[Announcer]

Luke wants to know if there's a 50. 50 drawing at this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I said. Is everybody not paying attention? Brett. Especially you. These are jokes we've already told.

Yeah.

[Co-host]

Today's attendance 80,287.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good. Nice job, huh? I'd like to say you've broken a record for last time. Teenage boy kill man in stadium.

No attendance record here as the Obama stadium.

And the nerve they would have. Hey. We have a new stadium. We need some sponsorship so we thought we'd give you a call. You called American Airlines to sponsor your stadium? Yeah. You guys do it all over in America. We figured why not. I'm gonna hang up right now. I hate you so much for this call. This is terrible. What you don't have. Come on, we got 80,000 people there. Hold on. What? Welcome to American Airlines Stadium in Islamiba. They do it. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness.

Anyway, sometimes the Taliban has good ideas. That's all I'm saying.

[Announcer]

First time I've ever heard that one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's not been said too often.

I don't like them, but it's the first time.

Then I saw another thing where they were talking about people being influenced by games and TV again. And I'm so tired of that, you know, until someone jumps their car off of one of those car loader trucks. You know, it's got the 10 cars in the back of the semi and then they're taking them down and it parks in the middle of the road and it's got the two to back the cars off the top shelf and they leave it. If you've ever played Grand Theft Auto, the temptation of driving by one of those things is beyond. You can't do it. If a truck makes a ramp, you hit it and you jump. And you got points for it. Still to this day, no one, even in Florida has tried it. And until that happens, I will never believe that we're influenced by, you know, video games. Video games, tv, stupid stuff like that.

Yelling at everybody for that. And maybe that maybe there's some truth to it because there's some stuff we have ideas where, like we wouldn't have got unless we watch TV or saw it in a game or something. But.

It'S. There's no possible. We get. We do have things we do. Because if you saw it on tv, it's the only way you got that idea.

Like you see it in a movie and usually it's a guy saw something in a movie and that's how he tries to kill his wife and get away with it.

But for the most part, I don't want to hear that anymore. That argument's dead to me. It's influenced us all. Nope, it hasn't. Because Grand Theft Auto is still the most successful video game in my life. And never once has anyone tried any of the ramp jumps. And that's before killing a guy. Because you're so numb to violence, you would try jumping your car off the ramp. You're not doing it.

And the argument back, well, cars are expensive. And you go, okay, it's murder's expensive, you idiot.

It's dumb.

[Co-host]

Only seen the movies where they do the getaway, where the, you know, the truck opens up the back end and lowers the ramp and the. They drive it up into the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sure. As a getaway. But I mean, if you've ever played Grand Theft Auto, right? You did it the first time you did it, you're like, I'm never. I'm never looking at that again. The same way. You see one of those trucks with the ramps down and it's parked, you circle back in the game like, I'm going to get some air off of this. Which is the way people in Florida think they do it. For real? Yeah. You've got over. We got cannonball run 2. They do it in Cannonball Run, too. And if this didn't influence hillbillies to try this, and these guys didn't do it on purpose, but Duke's a hazard. Oh, no. All this stuff don't have any breaks. Oh, look at. There's a ramp. Oh, yeah. And then you just jump in trucks until hillbillies start doing that. TV and games influencing people is not a thing.

Not even close to a thing. Don't want to hear it. It's silly.

And it's frustrating because they're like, well, it's because violence and television. No.

They do talk about that with like, well, because I got roofied the other day. I'm convinced of it. They were talking about spiked drinks and they think that that comes from tv. People wouldn't have thought of that had it not been for tv. I'm like, I think they've been spiking drinks from way before tv. They think that that's the. When it, you know, became prevalent to go, oh, you can root for, like, the Cosby thing was all from storytelling and books and entertainment. Nobody ever thought of that on their own. I don't think that's true either. Lunatics will think of something loony. And usually that makes great TV later. But stop blaming that stuff. Are we invisible? Guy just goes, do you think they have a rah rah rheumatic. We said that already.

So do you think, John, between innings of the Afghani flyers and the 911 jumpers, the hot dog race is. Instead, they throw the Jew and they toss a penny in the air.

[Co-host]

Kebab races.

[John Holmberg]

Which one is the Jew? Like, will it float? They throw money in the air, and if anybody runs towards it like a Jew.

Israel is the guy who wrote that. His name is Israel. That's ironic.

Yeah. Not one of you listening thought, Afghanistan has plenty of things to do on the weekends. Nobody's ever thought of, like, stuff to do that's what we do. They don't. Close your eyes. Picture the Middle East. You're going to picture a weird mud hut and people inside just going.

Infidel. Like they hate us. All day. 24 hours a day.

24 hours a day. But no, they've got sports and they've got a team that travels because you can't have an 80,000 seat stadium. And for two teams that are just playing each other all the time, somebody's flying in. Probably some friendly matches with Pakistan, which is a little out of hand now and again.

[Co-host]

Still, drive around the town and call Doug Hopkins.

[John Holmberg]

Bill, they probably. Probably have a. Yeah.

Hopkins. Hopkins. I want to buy your hut for cash.

[Co-host]

Call husband and wives.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, hold on. Yeah, they probably have it all in the wreck. Needs check.

97719. Oh, your phone. They have all the stuff we've got. Accident injury law is a little different though, because if you're a drunk driver, they just put you in a Stadium and 80,000 people watch you get hit by a car.

He killed your family with drunk driving. He should not have been drinking. So what do you want to do about it? I want him to die. Okay, here's the keys. Go run him down. We'll sell tickets.

[Co-host]

Call the Stone.

[John Holmberg]

Stone man. Hey, I'm not the lawyer with all of those books and stuff. That's a bunch of bull. I am the Stone man.

Stone in law.

Give you lip. Stone her. It's a little more violent than just getting you, you know, some money back and getting it erased from your record. We will stone the wife show ankles at party. Stone the bitch. Call the Stone man.

It's got a little cartoon.

It's a neat place, I think.

Hey, look, move the Cardinals there.

[Announcer]

These guys bring that to the Cardinal stadium. I mean, it's.

[John Holmberg]

What are they doing with all of these timeouts? Where is boy to shoot, man? What stupid game. Why are they wearing helmets? It's not a bad idea to put helmets on our women the horse. That's true. It's 7:24. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Bert?

[Announcer]

I Wake up. Song brought to you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, what do you got? Dexter was wondering if you criticize a coach for time management at the stadium. He's calling another timeout. We're going to be out of time. You fire Tomlin, fire Tomlinson. You've only got eight bullets left. He's only going to. This is. That guy's going to make it.

[Announcer]

Be like Eber Flews last year during the Lions game, just letting the clock run out.

[John Holmberg]

Learn to shoot. He did not practice. This is, you know, this is the culmination of them not getting it done during the week because on game day they're not prepared. There's another one. This kid is all over the map. Put in the other kid.

He's a gunslinger. He's a gunslinger out. I think he. He's facing the wrong way. He's got to know when to take a shot and take a sack.

Yeah, they have it, we don't. It's a better sport. I'd buy tickets to that. He's watched some of these, you know, some of these murders that happen. Oh, not just bomb them. Gonna fly a little plane, a little drone. He's going to fly right into him. They're very good at that.

Yeah. Sorry, bro. Action Ride Shop.

[Announcer]

Bringing you guys the Wake Up Song. With two locations, both in Mesa, right there at power Road and McDowell at the Brand new location there, as well as the OG on Gilbert Road and Southern. Get all your snow gear right there at the OG and right now, 20 off all in stock mountain bikes. So if you've been thinking about that, getting a Christmas present, doing one for yourself, Josh is going to hook you up. 20% off, all in stock mountain or beach cruisers right now at Action ride shop.

[John Holmberg]

Action rideshop.com. they actually probably do have to call Rafi. Rafi. It's not the same guy, but they probably have.

[Announcer]

Is JJ the King of Beepers still in business over there or what?

[John Holmberg]

They don't like beepers anymore. That's what I'm saying. Massage JJ King of Beepers and the stupid.

[Announcer]

On the list, Metallica, King Diamond, Van Halen, Embers Fall Parkway Drive, all that Remains, Rob Zombies. New one, Smashing Pumpkins, Slayer, Danko Jones, latest one, Ministry. Just Stop Oil for those environmentalists. Soil and Jack White. That's how I'm feeling for the kid at the stadium.

[John Holmberg]

Jack White deserves a little props after that thing he did in Detroit on Thanksgiving.

[Announcer]

That was one of the songs there. That was a great after. I'm not even Jack White fan really.

[John Holmberg]

But man, that was like no idea either.

[Co-host]

I just happened to. Yeah, yeah, turn it on at that time.

[John Holmberg]

Like, man, do you see the numbers for the Thanksgiving games? 53 million people watched the Cowboys game. I think 40 some million watched the. The earlier game, the Lions and they played the Packers.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then 26 million watched the Ravens and Bengals. Because the night game, everybody's kind of dispersing or you're frying bad, you're done. And east coast can drop off a little bit, but that's. I mean, that's big. 52 million people watching a game.

It's huge number. That's crazy. So pretty. Yeah, let's go. And Jack White and Eminem doing that thing in Detroit was like, this is a Super bowl show. This is awesome. Yeah, let's do a little Jack White. His guitar works pretty great. And while you're doing that, I got an email. It says, john, I'm catching up on the podcast for the morning and yesterday's show where you said you got pot, you got roofied. Podcasted. Got roofied. It says, you always know the phrase you can't rape the willing ran through my mind regard to your clear concern about this. You were roofied and no one raped you. That creeps thrive on fear. And maybe that's why they didn't see. Scared as always. Thanks so much for dragging your ass to work on every day for us listeners. You enhance our lives in ways that you'll never truly comprehend. You hear that? You are vital. I think this person tried to roofie me. Now they're trying to talk me back into it.

[Co-host]

He's billing.

[John Holmberg]

Not done yet. Such an intelligent and ridiculous funny wit. Yeah, you're a fine looking man too. You're fit. You seemingly have healthy skin. You're a good height. Don't sweat your Juno's. It's better than having a small button dick. Some women find the Juno's sexy. I love you. Thank you, Janet.

[Co-host]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

Don't sweat the Juno's. That should be a T shirt.

[Announcer]

At least she didn't call you a bald C word.

[John Holmberg]

She can't. Sexual harassment. Don't sweat the Junos.

That should be the title of my autobiography.

Don't sweat the Junos. How to get through life with one of these and not hang yourself. Let's do it. That's How I'm Feeling is the one Jack White song he loaded. That's what we're doing.

[Announcer]

Yeah, that's the one. He opened with it.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty great. And it came out last year. This album was pretty good. I'm not a Jack White fan either. I listened to all of his stuff once and like, that was great. And I never go back to it after watching.

[Announcer]

I started listening to him a little bit more after watching that halftime show, right?

[John Holmberg]

He's like. He never puts out crap. And you listen like, that's great. And I never go back to it. This one. This is a great song. It's Jack White for his little thing. And what was it for? Why did we do it?

[Announcer]

The halftime. Oh, for the kid at the stadium. That's how I'm feeling.

[John Holmberg]

Get him, kid. This is for you. We're big fan. Sometimes the Taliban has good ideas. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.