Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – 12-04-25

Episode Theme:
A blend of irreverent humor, medical stories, pop culture rants, and social commentary, this episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness careens from listener letters about surgery to a comedic takedown of environmentalists, satirical musing on public executions in Afghanistan, and light-hearted banter about pop culture and video games. The show’s signature: lampooning current events and cultural norms with sarcastic wit.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Surgery Tales: Ranking Internal Organs

• Gallbladder Removal Story ([02:58])
  • Listener “T. Van” emailed to say he’s having his gallbladder removed:
    “I have to have my gallbladder removed F my life.”
  • Holmberg’s Reaction: Downplays the seriousness, joking about the organ's “ranking”:

    “Your gallbladder comes out and you’re like, what was that for? ... Rock, paper, scissors of organs. Kidney smashes gallbladder.” ([03:28])

  • They riff on surgical “bad news”—lung and kidney way more serious than gallbladder or appendix, which are treated like body “hangnails.”
• Body Part Removals
  • Discuss kidney, liver, lung, appendix, and how doctors sometimes just guess whether organs are necessary.
  • Holmberg shares anecdote about his uncle’s bladder removal and bodily function rerouting.
• Advice to T. Van:

  “You got bad news, but you got the best bad news you can get.” ([08:02])

2. Aging and Social Commentary: Short Haircuts and ‘Big Clothes’

• Birthday Shout-out ([09:03]):
  • Holmberg congratulates a 35-year-old listener and riffs on “aging out” of the best years, joking about how women “give up” by opting for “big clothes and short hair.”

    “Some of your friends, wives have just gone to big clothes and short hair, and you’re like, oh, she quit. She quit. It’s over.” ([09:43])

  • Teasing about “fun” hair and the insecurity of drastic hair changes.

3. Environmentalist Rants & Michael Jordan’s Yacht

• Michael Jordan’s Yacht Rental ([11:40])
  • News that Jordan is renting a multi-million-dollar yacht sparked backlash from environmentalists.
  • Holmberg’s Perspective:

    “Who would you rather be friends with? Michael Jordan... or the person that's in his pocket screaming about success and how stupid it is and the environment’s going to die if you go on that yacht? ... Michael’s ten times more fun than you environmentalists.” ([12:29])

  • The hosts lampoon activists for being “no fun,” pushing the idea that being a vocal environmentalist means “ruining everything with your complaining.”
• Hypocrisy in Environmentalism:
  • They point out activists use gas-powered boats to protest, and joke about how “annoying” righteous people make them want to own a yacht out of spite.
  • Satirical suggestion: Host environmentalist parties on a yacht “and row it” ([16:02]) for fun.
  • Skewer PETA as inclusion: “They make you hate them so much that you’re like, you know what? I might just go slap a dolphin. I’m tired of you.” ([16:36])
• Notable Quote:

  "The ultimate sign of success is environmentalists bothering you. If Greenpeace is bothering you, you have hit the new level of American success." ([15:12])

4. Stadium Vengeance Killings in Afghanistan: Satirical Sports Spectacle

• Taliban Justice & Stadium Executions ([21:02]):
  • Story about a 13-year-old Afghan boy given the choice to execute his family’s killer before a crowd of 80,000.
  • Hosts’ dark comedic take is to compare this to American sports events, riffing on stadium experience: vendors, jumbo-tron replays, “undercard” matches, and novelty event t-shirts (“shooting boy bobblehead”).
  • Holmberg:

    “Sometimes the Taliban has some good ideas.” ([21:02], [38:46])
    "80,000 people in Afghanistan didn’t have anything to do that day, so they, like... tailgated." ([30:57])

  • Banter about what “sports” might fill such stadiums in Afghanistan—dead goat polo, soccer, “oak barrel rivalry week.”
  • Imagining fried food, bobbleheads, and football-style giveaways at public executions.
• Subversive Satire:
  • Mocking American culture’s reactions, comparing Afghan justice spectacles at stadiums to lackluster attendance at Arizona Cardinals games.
  • Quote:

    “If we had a kid shooting a guy and we had to house it [at Cardinal Stadium], we wouldn’t break their record for attendance.” ([33:38])

  • Joke legal ads: “Stone man. ... I am the Stone man. ... Stone her. ... Call the Stone man.” ([44:32])

5. Pop Culture, Video Games & Influence

• Influence of TV & Video Games ([39:03]):
  • Discussion about the argument that violent media influences real-life violence.
  • “Grand Theft Auto” as example—no one in real life jumps cars off transport trucks, so video games aren’t making people more violent.
  • Holmberg’s point:

    "TV and games influencing people is not a thing. Not even close to a thing. Don’t want to hear it. It’s silly." ([41:46])

6. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [03:28] John: “Rock, paper, scissors of organs. Kidney smashes gallbladder.”
• [08:02] John: “You got bad news, but you got the best bad news you can get.”
• [12:29] John: “Who would you rather be friends with? Michael Jordan or that person?”
• [15:12] John: “The ultimate sign of success is environmentalists bothering you.”
• [16:36] John: “PETA... they make you hate them so much that you’re like, you know what? I might just go slap a dolphin. I’m tired of you.”
• [21:02] John: “Sometimes the Taliban has some good ideas.”
• [30:57] John: “80,000 people in Afghanistan didn’t have anything to do that day, so they, like... tailgated.”
• [33:38] John: “If we had a kid shooting a guy and we had to house it [at Cardinal Stadium], we wouldn’t break their record for attendance.”
• [41:46] John: “TV and games influencing people is not a thing. Not even close to a thing. Don’t want to hear it. It’s silly.”
• [45:01] John: “Stone man. ... I am the Stone man. ... Stone her. ... Call the Stone man.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Listener organ removal and surgery banter: [02:58]–[08:50]
• Birthday/aging and social commentary: [09:03]–[10:26]
• Environmentalists and Michael Jordan’s yacht: [10:26]–[21:02]
• Taliban, stadium executions, and Afghan sports satire: [21:02]–[35:17]
• Video games & media influence debate: [39:03]–[41:59]
• Legal/commercial parodies and callback jokes: [44:10]–[45:30]

Tone & Language

The episode is filled with Holmberg’s trademark deadpan, irreverent roasting, and rapid-fire pop culture references. No topic is off-limits as hosts tease one another, embrace the ridiculous, and poke at the boundaries of “good taste,” all while maintaining a self-aware, comedic lens on news and society. The language is casual, occasionally edgy, and always mischievously satirical.

For New Listeners

• Expect sharp-eyed, darkly comic social observations and local Southwest flavor
• No sacred cows: anything from surgeries to international politics and activism is fair game
• Notably, the humor may tread into controversial or discomforting territory—intent is comedic, not endorsement

Recommended Listening:

• Segment on stadium executions and Afghan sports culture ([21:02]–[35:17]) for prime satire
• Riff on environmentalists vs. Michael Jordan’s yacht ([10:26]–[21:02]) for biting, playful social critique