12-04-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – FULL SHOW – 12/04/25 (Thursday)

Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show on 98 KUPD | Hosted by John Holmberg

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Episode Overview

This Thursday episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is packed with holiday reminiscing, edgy social commentary, absurd humor, pop culture debates, and the crew’s signature offbeat banter. John Holmberg and his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo muse on the mythology of Santa Claus, tooth fairies, parenting strategies, “Ring of Honor” sports ceremonies, and the wild absurdities of both local and global traditions. The episode also features a guest appearance by comedian Ryan Hamilton, discussions of recent news stories, listener emails, and predictions for the NFL weekend, all in the conversational style that defines the show.

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Santa, Childhood Magic, and Parental Realities

[01:51–12:44]

• Debate on Santa’s Shelf-Life:
  John wonders why the Santa Claus myth is such a short-lived phase for kids (“Santa’s only good for literally four, four years… the devastating bomb is dropped”—[02:42]), contrasting its euphoria with growing up.
• Holiday Traditions Compared to Religion:
  The team riffs on how Santa’s redemptive narrative mirrors religion—a yearly “mini cycle of life, death, and forgiveness” ([05:31]–[06:27]).
• Best Santa Gifts Recalled:
  Everyone shares their most memorable “Santa” gift, reminiscing on toys and the innocence of childhood.
  • John: A sound design turntable, which he broke the first day ([09:22]); also a treasured Snoopy-shaped radio ([12:44]).
  • Brady: A metallic orange Columbia bike with a sissy bar ([08:42]).
• Parental Sacrifice Unnoticed:
  The group reflects on parents' hidden labor and credit card debt (“Santa gets the credit, Dad gets the bills”—[07:32]), poking fun at kids taking family holidays for granted.

Notable Quotes:

• “It’s better than Jesus… because Santa shows up.” – John Holmberg ([03:49])
• “Santa heard you, and it was because you pointed at a picture and you said, I want that. And you got it.” – John ([08:58])

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Tooth Fairy, Manipulating Kids & Parenting Tactics

[15:45–24:35]

• Tooth Fairy Economics:
  The group jokes about the randomness of Tooth Fairy money and heightened “house intrusion” anxieties kids never seem to have ([16:35]–[17:35]).
• ‘Elf on the Shelf’ & Behavioral Manipulation:
  The hosts debate the merits of Elf on the Shelf and joke about alternative “fear-based” religious tactics to control children ([19:00]–[21:17]), including an outrageous idea of staging a “live Jesus visitation.”
  • “You want your kids to behave... In the middle of the night, you get on a cross, pour blood all over your hands…” – John ([19:54])
• Cultural Variants:
  Discussion of trending “Snoop on the Stoop” and “Ozzy on the Shelf,” lampooning both social trends and racial implications ([23:11]–[25:32]).
  • “Never heard of Snoop on a Shelf, but it seems wildly racist. Nice job, Gilbert.” – John ([24:59])

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Memories, Parenting, and Societal Satire

[27:29–44:49]

• Societal Double-Standards & Holidays: More comedic critiques of race, consumer culture, and “teachable” childhood moments using funny examples.
• Email Segment – Domestic Violence Against Men:
  John reads a listener's email about male domestic violence, deftly balancing sympathy and signature comic insensitivity ([28:20]–[29:23]).
• Not So ‘Cool’ Holiday Toys:
  Jokes about modern parenting one-upmanship (“No kid is listening to Snoop Dogg… Snoop’s basically Fred Sanford to your kids, only not funny”—[24:35]).

Notable Moment:

• The hosts describe differences in how different cultures claim Christmas/holiday credit, noting that “Jews have it figured out. Only mom and dad get the credit.” ([28:20])

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Adulting, Environment, & Moral Commentary

[44:40–52:07]

• Environmentalism vs. Fun:
  John rails against environmentalists and PETA for “ruining fun,” emphasizing how they’d rather party with Michael Jordan on a yacht than scold him for emissions ([44:49]–[47:18]).
  • “Be more fun!” – John ([47:18])
• Yacht Talk:
  Lively conversation about success, envy, and the optics of big spending (“You sell a boatload of shoes, you dumbass. Now get out of here.” – John, pretending to be MJ, [46:21])
• Perspective on Global Justice:
  The show’s signature irreverence surfaces as John describes an Afghan stadium execution where a 13-year-old kills a murderer, discussing cultural optics and American perceptions ([51:47]–[54:51]).

Notable Quotes:

• “Sometimes the Taliban has good ideas.” – John ([51:47])
• “They had to have bathrooms and attendants and ticket guys…” – John on Afghan stadium executions ([59:41])

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Sports Satire, Video Games, and Hall of Fame Debates

[64:14–90:09]

• Ring of Honor Critique:
  John and Dale Hellistray (guest, ex-NFL/Cowboys lineman) dissect the arbitrariness of local sports “Ring of Honor” cultures, from Charles Barkley vs. Chris Paul to the inclusion of “transplant” and “name” players over lifelong career guys ([137:42]–[148:43]).
• Video Game Influence:
  Jokes about the idea that video games and TV “influence” behavior, especially Grand Theft Auto and the temptation to ramp vehicles ([70:40]–[72:07]).
• Female Golfers in Charity Tournaments:
  John and Brady satirically complain about badly chosen female foursome members in golf tournaments, using the segment as a springboard for commentary on gender, attractiveness, sports etiquette, and social rules ([83:23]–[91:57]).

Notable Quotes:

• “If you didn’t want him through a contract negotiation in his prime, you can’t be in your ring of honor.” – John, on Greg Maddux and sports loyalty ([150:28])
• “You have to be that hot to be that bad at something and have me tolerate it.” – John ([90:22])

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News, Local Oddities, and Gag Segments

[92:12–114:35]

• Brady Report & Wild America:
  Brady delivers bite-sized news: national Cookie Day, shredded cheese recalls, raccoons in blankets, and world-record dog tongues, all with the gang’s mocking input ([92:12]–[107:15]).
• Viral Video Reactions:
  Multiple wild or gross internet videos, from girl fights to biker stunts and even a horror-show tampon-throwing concert ([107:28]–[110:25]).

Notable Moment:

• “I would sift through that cheese, pan for gold… just put a magnet over your cheese.” – John ([99:47])

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In-Studio: Comedian Ryan Hamilton

[117:01–134:32]

• Rivalries & Hecklers:
  Ryan shares stories about regional rivalries and the evolution of “personal” comedy hecklers, including a viral Warren Buffett incident ([117:58]–[121:16]).
• Comedy Career & Apocalypse Toolkit:
  Hamilton discusses Idaho pride, not having a “real” apocalyptic survival skill, and why stand-up attracts society’s handy “orphans”—people who don’t fit anywhere else ([125:35]–[134:32]).

Choice Quotes:

• “Do what you want to do. If it’s rape—don’t.” – Ryan Hamilton (tongue-in-cheek, [135:19])

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Sports Picks & NFL Rundown

[136:02–170:27]

• NFL Week 14 Picks:
  Each host makes their pick for the week:

  • Bears vs. Packers (Bret takes Bears)
  • Cowboys vs. Lions (Hellistray/Cowboys)
  • Steelers vs. Ravens (Holmberg/Steelers)
  • Bills vs. Bengals (Brady/Bills)

• Betting Banter:
  Classic bickering about betting lines, payout splits, and the futility/optimism of their parlay bets ([166:02]–[170:27]).

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Final Bits: Pop Culture & Local Reflexes

[174:19–end]

• Entertainment Drill:
  Quick hits on Scorsese’s new Vegas series, Fox Nation’s “Saints” show, Bad Bunny’s Spotify dominance, and Chuck E. Cheese Christmas specials ([174:19]–[177:22]).
• Closing Shoutouts:
  The show wraps with playful reflections on “meaningless” halls of fame (including Dale’s Scottsdale Hall of Fame induction and John’s threat to burn down the Radio Hall of Fame if included), inside Arizona sports radio, and a tease for John’s own sports podcast ([156:09]–[172:52]).

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Memorable Quotes and Segments

• On Santa vs. Jesus:
  “It’s better than Jesus. Jesus leaves too many bloodstains on the carpet.” – John ([03:49])
• On the Tooth Fairy:
  “You’d torture yourself like a prisoner of war pulling out a tooth… for a dollar if you were lucky.” – John ([16:09])
• On Environmentalists:
  “You’re so annoying that you make me want a yacht.” – John ([46:04])
• On Childhood Manipulation:
  “Just flash a strobe on the crucified ‘Jesus’ in your kid’s room, then ask what they did wrong.” – John ([20:38])
• On Arizona Sports Halls of Fame:
  “You can’t be in your Ring of Honor if you left for a contract fight in your prime.” – John ([150:28])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Santa, Childhood, and Religion: [01:51–12:44]
• Parenting Tactics & ‘Elf on the Shelf’: [15:45–24:35], [19:54–21:17]
• ‘Snoop on the Stoop’ Social Satire: [23:11–25:32]
• Environmentalist Rant & Yachts: [44:40–51:16]
• Afghan Execution Stadium Satire: [51:47–63:50]
• Hall of Fame/Ring of Honor Debate: [137:42–148:43]
• Charity Golf Tournament & Gender: [83:23–91:57]
• Ryan Hamilton Interview: [117:01–134:32]
• NFL Picks: [166:02–170:27]
• Pop Culture/Entertainment Drill: [174:19–176:17]

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Tone

Raucous, irreverent, intentionally provocative, and peppered with wild hypothetical humor.
The episode features good-natured ribbing, nostalgia, and purposely edgy takes on taboo subjects—delivered in the sardonic, rapid-fire riff style the show is known for.

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For Listeners New and Old

If you want holiday laughs, pop culture takes, sports bickering, and a reminder of why local morning radio still beats a playlist, this episode is a trip through suburban nostalgia and grown-up snark. For the full experience, catch the off-the-rails laughter and timing that only happens live in the studio.

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“Sometimes the Taliban has good ideas… That’s all I’m saying.”
—John Holmberg, [51:47] (Irreverent satire, not foreign policy!)

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Transcript

[Podcast Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Larry]

Thanks.

[John Holmberg]

Have a good one. Yep, that too. Want one place to manage all your online and in person sales? That's kind of our thing. Wherever you sell. Businesses that grow grow with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 a month trial at sh shopify.com listen shopify.com listen. You thought that was funny?

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[Larry]

What the hell is wrong with you?

[John Holmberg]

Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday, December 4th, 21 days away from the fat man breaking into your home, taking all the credit for all the shopping you did and all the spending you did while those kids praise him and look at you like you're idiots. Anyway, my name's John.

[Brady]

Today's the big day. It's Santa's list day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, you got to get that together. Otherwise you won't get It, My name's John. There's Bertie, there's Brett. Big Dick Toledo. Vince, it's the morning sickness. Let's go. The list.

[Podcast Announcer]

Don't they make it with the elves and stuff? They can make to order what's going on up there?

[John Holmberg]

It's as confused as the Bible. Let's not get into the details, just deal with it. It's, it's, there's a lot of holes in the story, but there could be some people up there, you know, it's, it's a very important four or five years of your life to go through the Santa situation.

Santa's only good for literally four, four years. Maybe you don't remember the first couple. And then when you do start to remember, you realize you only got like five total years of Santa bliss before the devastating bomb is dropped. And.

You know, got kids listening right now who are in that. Make your list, get your list together. If you're still making a list. Seek therapy. A lunatic. It's what's wrong with you? Not real. Anyway. It's a totally. You know, that was, that is to me one of the most amazing parts of childhood, the Santa Claus thing. Because I think the, I think back of that and that, that top notch excitement. Pure. Yeah, pure. Just absolute bliss. I mean, you can't find in life. There is nothing more.

I don't know, truly euphoric than thinking that someone is coming to drop off a bunch of stuff for you in the middle of the night in this magic sleigh. And like that is a going to.

[Brady]

Bed the night before. Forget about it.

[John Holmberg]

It's better than Jesus. You know why it's better than Jesus? Because Santa shows up, you gotta believe. And the other thing if he, you know, if they did a thing in religion where Jesus every once in a while pop by and drop stuff off, still couldn't see him, which you could manipulate people's brains at Easter. Oh, he should be the, the face of Easter. And he's really not. He leaves too many blood stains on the carpet. He's got holes in them.

[Brady]

It's messy.

[John Holmberg]

But yeah, I mean, if you did a thing in religion where you know, like, well, just randomly prizes. It's, it's, it's God lottery. You could play God lottery all the time and then he'd show up. You could manipulate adults. You could do this to people for you could, you could mentally damage someone into their 60s if you wanted to gaslight them into believing Jesus loves them so much, sometimes there's prizes. People would eat it up. It's like, my God, he left me another one. They'd call the news. It would be insane. And literally modified.

[Brady]

Easter one time we were talking about and you know, changing that celebration more to the Christmas side of where the kids would roll the rock back in there, there's a presence you gotta have.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta have a tangible connection, not just a faith based belief. You start to, you know, start losing people. They start going through the motions. The Santa thing, I was doing pretty much everything and you know, I was a Santa procrastinator. I usually started my quality behavior somewhere around December 7th and 8th. Once I realized, all right, he's probably in the high time where I can reverse some wrongs here. And basically the same thing you do with religion is towards the end there, you start trying to seek forgiveness and you do things right. You know, I've been a good person. You try to.

[Brady]

And that message is pounded with all the Christmas shows.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, the cartoons, last second here at summertime that you were dicking around a little bit. You can still make good for the last three weeks if you start giving to charity and whatever it's like Santa will notice that and retroactively reset you. And that's kind of the basis of the whole thing. It's a, it's, it's religion annually done. You know, the whole lifetime is done each year. And then around Christmas, which would represent your death, it would be, have you fixed it? Have you fixed the year yet? So Santa shows up dropping those prizes off, man, there's, there's nothing better. And trying to go to sleep and, and sleep. And that's also when you realize you used to sleep better. Like you when you're 4, 5, 7, that age, you could sleep through anything. Your euphoric craziness waiting for if right now, if you told me, hey, at about three in the morning somebody's gonna pop into the house quietly. Exactly.

[Larry]

And I would.

[John Holmberg]

Every single thing would wake me. Everything. The air conditioner, the heater, anything clicking. I'm up, I'm looking. Is it is the son of a bitch here? And you would. Any noise when you're a little kid even thinking and believing truly that that's happening, you don't wake up. You are so sound asleep. Your life is. That's the peak of your life really. You're about five and then, and then from there on it's just once, Once mom and dad sit you down and go, hey, there's something we got to tell you about Christmas. From there on, everything is. The illusion has been destroyed. So just. It would be great if we, as adults still had that now. You could use Jesus. That way we could reset that. If he. If he dropped prizes off, we'd. It would be better.

[Podcast Announcer]

Now I know why Kurt Vesli was a prick in December. Because some other jerk off is getting credit for him driving miles in the truck, and he gets nothing out of it.

[John Holmberg]

Crushing saving, by the way. Your dad was a truck driver. He saved money. He drove around, saved money so his stupid kid could have that dumb thing, or he'd be miserable till February that.

[Podcast Announcer]

He didn't pay in these goddamn credit card bills.

[John Holmberg]

Paying bills. Here's your stretch arm for. And you're like, santa's the best. Never once said, hey, dad, you know what? And you know what you did? Even when you knew later at one point or another, you're like, you're a dick, dad.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You never once thought back of all the struggles dad went through, all the crap that he went through to get your Christmas in order. So you went, shut up. And then the bills came, and he was back on the road doing extra time. So I got to get rid of Christmas bills. And you never once.

[Podcast Announcer]

Every one of us did that, though.

[John Holmberg]

You never once probably said, oh, no, Absolutely not.

[Brady]

Did you get a tiny tool set at one time, Brett?

[Podcast Announcer]

I'm sure I did. I'm sure I got a play school tool set to start with.

[John Holmberg]

My first plastic bag to put people in.

What was your.

[Podcast Announcer]

What's your first Tommy gun?

[John Holmberg]

What was your greatest Santa Christmas present You remember?

[Podcast Announcer]

Probably my Atari. You remember back in the day?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. 26 years. You're great, like Santa present.

[Brady]

My dad decked out when I was in the.

Second year of collecting beer cans.

[John Holmberg]

But you didn't know it was. You thought it was Santa. I want your best Santa, not your best Christmas print. Your best Santa one, probably my Columbia bike.

[Brady]

It was that.

[John Holmberg]

I remember those metallic orange with the slick.

[Brady]

The back bar. Sissy bar.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you had the back seat. That big looping thing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How insanely 70s was that?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Brady]

That's 73.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You were the quintessential 70s boy. And you get this bike, and you look like Santa. He hears me. You go to therapists, and all you want to do is, how do I make it so people hear me? Santa heard you, and it was because you pointed at a picture and you said, I want that. And you got it. Oh, that's great. Mine was a sound design.

Table, receiver, things. It was a turntable all in one two speakers. And the Speakers slid out from under. And it had this really kind of awesome designs. I broke it the first day I was. Oh, man, I broke it the first damn dance.

[Brady]

Did it have the fake equalizer on it?

[John Holmberg]

No, we weren't there yet. We didn't have equalizers on our home equipment quite yet.

[Brady]

It was like the lights.

[John Holmberg]

This was probably 76. I was three or four. And I remember my dad, mom. I mean, Santa didn't wrap it. They put a bow on it. Because I wouldn't shut up about wanting that record player. And it was a piece of garbage. I think it came out of the Sears or Spiegel catalog. And that was so cool.

[Brady]

It had this when Amanda from Boston came through those speakers.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and I probably listened to Boston first. That was about the time my dad's like here. Because it was. I was listening to whatever record. Well, no, it's Frampton. Peter frampton. It's probably 77 Peter Frampton. Because I was a Frampton Comes Alive guy. And I had my own record player because my mom and dad hated that. I used to dig around and they had this big console. It's probably a six foot long piece of furniture.

[Podcast Announcer]

Weighed about 700 pounds.

[John Holmberg]

And I had to always go ask him because I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough to lift the. The top of it opened up. But it was like 6 million pound piece of.

[Brady]

And had a pocket for the records.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the side was all records. And I would go in there. I didn't care what it was. I just loved making records work. And then they got me that and they were. And a first hour, I'm spinning the record around and I hear. And then I broke whatever keeps the record turned. Turning or DJ Jazzy Jeff over there. I don't know what I was doing. I also did like. Because my. My dad probably. He's. He's coming to town today. I'll ask him or I'll talk to him today.

Probably.

Had my parents worried that I would always put records on and roll them slowly backwards. Because I thought that was really cool.

[Podcast Announcer]

That you could Stairway to Heaven backwards.

[John Holmberg]

You can make it go.

It was up to you.

[Larry]

The devil is your son.

[John Holmberg]

That kind of stuff. And I don't. I wasn't Sweet Satan. I wasn't aware of Sweet Satan. I wasn't aware of the possibilities of stuff I'd hear. I just thought it was hilarious. And I. You know, like, you just hear Hot Blooded, check it and see.

Hot Blooded. And I thought it was cool that I was in control of that Broke it the first day. But it was such a cool thing. It had these. The speakers couldn't have been more than my thigh high. They might have been a foot and a half, but to me it was huge. And it had these cutouts. They were like C shaped, back to back. Like one backwards C and a forward C. And the speaker slid into those holes and you could pull them out like it was a whole deal. And I busted it day one. And I still remember sobbing.

[Brady]

Did they sanctify service merchandise?

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. That's the thing. I didn't understand that Santa didn't take retreat. Yeah, well, you know what's bad about that? Now that I think about it? My parents just threw it out. I didn't get another one. They just got rid of it. They broke it. Yeah. You busted it. And there was no. How do you send it back to Sears catalog?

[Podcast Announcer]

You mean Santa's workshop? You mean.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But I. Yeah, I had. I didn't get a new one.

[Brady]

Damn it.

[John Holmberg]

That again. That pricks here right now. I gotta. When he wakes up, I might give him a call. Hey, Sound design. What the hell are you talking about? The record player. Jesus Christ. It was 48 years ago. Well, where is it? Where's my new one? Another one. I remember unwrapping and thinking, ah, life doesn't get better than. This was a transistor radio in the shape of Snoopy. I thought I was the. That made me a. I still have it. Maybe. Really? It doesn't have the guts. Okay. It stopped working in. My Uncle Doug tried to fix. I think he made it worse. So he snapped it back together. Now it's just a plastic Snoopy with a antenna. It doesn't make sense and still get the strap handle I walk around with. How gay did my dad had to think I was that I had had a strap like a purse around my. Around my arm and a plastic Snoopy hanging down. And I'm listening to like the Carpenter's More than likely because I thought she had an angelic voice. Even when I was a boy. Whatever radio station that my mom had it on. Just walking up and down Navajo Trail in Indiana going, hey, what's going on? Why do birds coming out of my Snoopy sack suddenly appear? How's it going, Dan? That gay homeburg kids running around.

Kid across the street was my best friend. His name was Mark Cassius. Guess what? He turned out Twink. We were running around doing everything together. So I probably influenced it. I was probably the confusing Carpenters. Yeah, me. I was probably the One Mark Cassius is like I'm so confused because when I was growing up as a little boy, I had a friend, he was so clearly gay and I really enjoyed my time with him. I think it might. I think I might be gay too.

[Brady]

He's probably talking about the kid he grew up with.

[John Holmberg]

Had a Snoopy radio. Snoopy radio. We used to play records. We were gay together early. I knew then, he probably knew then that he had found his gay friend. And here I am, not gay. Well, not actively homosexual. Still searching. The process is still. I'm still looking for a fellow earner that just wants to play basketball and blow me. Just doesn't exist.

[Brady]

Call stabbings.

[John Holmberg]

We've talked about it. Can't imagine combining our incomes. I mean it really is. It gives us half hard ons. But then all that hair, so much hair. Mark's hair's turning gray now. It's like his back hair. He probably looks like an old wool. Like get waxed, you know. Come on. Yeah, yeah, he's. He's going.

[Podcast Announcer]

Seen a 40 year old version.

[John Holmberg]

He's going a little.

[Brady]

He looks like the chief editor from the Daily Plan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's. Yeah, he's starting. He's too silver and then his chest would. I'd just be. I look, I didn't want him when he was not gray. And now that it just is all it basically it is for gays. I think that gray is what we see when women turn 50. It's like, well, this one's expired. It just looks like he's. You know, like when ET Got found and he was all gray and it was sick and then that's what Mark looks like. We thought about it though. Throw our incomes together, play some basketball, laugh, drink, maybe get into a fist fight and then just blow each other until morning. I mean on paper, gay looks pretty good until you get into the hair and the feces and then it's out.

[Larry]

Anyway.

[John Holmberg]

Good morning everybody. 21 days, that's what you got till Christmas. Those, those men again. Just even thinking about it. The Santa, what a feeling. Tooth fairy was another one. I used to get so excited when. Oh, the tooth fairy. Try. You remember you're a kid and you try to pull a tooth out, it's not quite ready and you just be bleeding.

Twisting it and everything.

It hurts them. It's like you'd torture yourself like you were a prisoner of war pulling out a tooth good for a dollar if you were lucky.

Then you pull that thing out spitting blood.

[Larry]

I did it.

[John Holmberg]

I get a visit from the. I got blood in my throat.

[Larry]

John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Put it under your pillow and wake up to some change.

[Podcast Announcer]

What does a tooth fairy pay these days?

[John Holmberg]

I've talked to people about this and it is. It's like video games and stuff.

[Brady]

Really.

[John Holmberg]

I've had people tell me that they gave their kids, like. Because I used to get.

[Brady]

They do a thing every year. They say the average.

[John Holmberg]

You know, if you're still leaving money.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

These parents want to be friends with their kids so bad, they buy them something and shove it under their pillow again. How. How good did you used to sleep? That doesn't wake you. Imagine somebody trying to put their hands under your pillow today. You'd kill them and kill anybody.

[Brady]

You wake up in the morning, there's a sparkly five dollar bill. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If you got a five, you were the richest kid in the street. I get whatever spare change Dan had in his pocket. Wake up and I'd have to figure out, what the hell is this? What do you got, like a buck 22? Why in the world is this random amount the tooth fairy. I never got the same amount. Was whatever change Dan had. Sometimes it was like $2.10. Sometimes it was 48 cents. I think it was these random weird pennies were included.

[Brady]

Either way, it's a treasure.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was great.

And you were just excited that that person broke into your home and left you a few. Few cents.

[Podcast Announcer]

I remember one time my mom was out of town for something and my dad was. Forgot to do the slip. And I'm like, oh, my God. I'm tearing the sheets off my bed and everything. He's like, yeah, he'll probably be here tomorrow. Don't worry about it.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus Christ, he's crazy. I gotta. I gotta set an alarm. And you think of you today like, oh, Christ, I gotta wake up and waddle down the hall, shuffling in there and. You son of a. I'm surprised you didn't hear that from you. You miserable little.

Us. I can't get a good night's sleep on my own goddamn vacations because of you.

[Podcast Announcer]

Goddamn Easter bunny. I get up and hide eggs.

[John Holmberg]

Two hours building a bike. Brady had that.

[Brady]

It's pretty funny when you go in there, hide the money because you think, oh, what if they wake up? Then you got.

[John Holmberg]

It's over.

[Brady]

You got a tap dance around that.

[John Holmberg]

It's over.

[Brady]

I'm looking for my.

[Podcast Announcer]

But you heard a burglar.

[Brady]

Yeah, I left my shoe in here.

[John Holmberg]

Or Just say the tooth. The best thing. The tooth fairy. I've found her in the hallway and she gave me this. We didn't want to wake you. She was here? Yeah. She's awesome. You should see her huge cans.

Your dad's got her in the other room right now just pounding the lights out of her. Anyway, go back to sleep.

We're gonna have a three way with the fairy. That's what my friend Mark Cassius used to say anyway.

[Brady]

Then you create right now the season Christmas nightmares with that elf on the shelf.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't know what just that's terrifying. Kids horrifying manipulation tactics to keep those little pricks in line. For the last month when you start, you put. I would. If I was a parent, I'd have that elf on the shelf up every once in a while in April. Just like pop them up there and have them in the rooms. Jesus, the elf is here. You got up.

[Brady]

Some people do that.

[John Holmberg]

That's brilliant. That means you got a prick kid. You just, you know, your kid's thinking of terrible stuff. You don't have Jesus on a shelf. See, there's too much that kids believe when they're rewarded.

[Brady]

He's not. You know, we didn't put him in the manger until Christmas morning. We had the whole set up. The figurines.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And then one of my brother, my sister, everyone. He alternated every year who gets to put him in. In the little manger.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it would be really fun. And this is a parental tip from a guy with no kids. I don't know if this would scar him or not, but you want your kids to behave during the year and you're. And you believe in the Jesus or whatever. You believe in the Allah, the Spaghetti Monster, whatever it is, middle of the night. Because you could set this up. Kids don't wake up. You get on a cross and you just pour blood all over your hands and your feet. Throw some dirt on a wig, climb up on the cross, set it up in his room and then just start flashing flashlights at it. Strobe, strobe it. And just. And then just the kid wakes up and sees it goes, oh, Jesus starts moaning, oh, you gotta be better. Please, for me. And then you come in, you're like, what's wrong? You throw a blanket over him.

[Brady]

It is finished.

[John Holmberg]

You're killing me again.

Throw a blanket over his head. What's the matter, Billy? Jesus was here. Then you quick ski daddle out. You run the whole operation out into the hallway. He's freaking Out. So what are you. What are you talking about? He's right over there. Oh, my God. There's nobody here. There's nobody here. And it's so real to him that he's just sitting there thinking, that dude is coming. That's. And then you got real Jesus sightings. And that kid will do anything you want.

[Podcast Announcer]

Be like that scene in the Exorcist. Like Pazuzu.

[John Holmberg]

It's just like blinking in the. Oh, yeah, you gotta have the strobe. Just.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

And that's what wakes him. Oh, God. Oh, you just hire an actor. Oh, Bart, get me down. Give me off of this. And then he's just. Just scream at top of his lungs. Kid on the top bunk just hits the deck. He's out cold. And you're like, you kids better be good. Oh, my God. I've heard of these things. Jesus visited you. You. You must be pricking around school. Pretty. Only straight A's from here. He's coming back. They'd never want to see that again. And you can run that well into their adulthood.

[Brady]

That kid's going to Harvard.

[John Holmberg]

Just every once in a while, when the kids are walking to school and you know or you know your kids alone, just set to Jesus up in the backyard, and he sees it every once in a while, just runs in the house. He's outside. There's nothing out there.

[Brady]

What are you talking.

[John Holmberg]

What's the matter with. What did you do wrong? What did you do that Jesus would come all the way down here just to moan at you? I don't know. I guess he said I stole something. Oh, all right. Spill it. What'd you do? Kid would be awesome.

[Brady]

It's just a clown.

[John Holmberg]

And don't get on me right now going, that's terrible. You don't know about. You don't have kids. You're using an elf on the shelf. It's the same thing.

He act like I'm.

[Larry]

Oh, he doesn't know.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't have kids. He's not allowed to tell us what to do. You're doing it already. Not with Jesus, though. Yeah, it's worse. You're doing it with childhood favorites.

[Brady]

Don't touch the elf.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're doing it with, like, Elmo dolls. You're not allowed. You're not allowed to touch it.

[Brady]

Touch it. No presence.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and the elf will tell you. Got a tattletale running around the house. You imagine Kurt with the elf on the ship with that little rat. Your dad would turn on the elf, even knowing it's not you telling me that elf is going to go tattle? He's going to rat on you. I don't want that in the house. Where is this little son of a bitch? I don't know. He moves around. Every day he's in a new spot. You know what? You know, if he's going to be just a little slippery prick, I'm going to throw him in a fireplace. He has no idea.

[Brady]

What's worse is the white families that get the Snoop on the shelf. What kind of lesson does that teach you, Snoop Dogg? Yeah, they have.

[Podcast Announcer]

Oh, I've seen that. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they do. Yeah. So you don't.

[Brady]

Just don't.

[John Holmberg]

White families.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Don't touch the Negro.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I mean, I'm like, why would you do that? Because you don't touch the elves.

[John Holmberg]

This is the first time hearing of this. I didn't know that. Well, I've heard that before. I mean, that's. I've heard that. I grew up in Indiana. I heard that phrase, don't touch the Negroes on, like, signs on the freeway. It's the most racist state in America. No one talks about it, but it's just an awful place.

[Brady]

This year they're also doing Ozzy on the Shelf.

[John Holmberg]

Hell no. The elf isn't working anymore. You have to do celebrities sunglasses. He's okay. But to your lesson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't touch the drug addict is the thing. That's good advice.

Snoop Dogg. Kids aren't into Snoop Dogg. He's ours.

[Brady]

Isn't that awesome? Snoop Dogg.

[John Holmberg]

No kids listening to Snoop Dogg. That's like putting Paul Anka on a shelf for me. It's like, why in the world would I care about that? Kids don't wake up and go, kick ass. Snoop dogg. Ah, early 90s was the best rap. No Kids thinking Snoop Dogg's awesome. They don't know he's just some bald old man. Snoop Dogg's basically Fred Sanford to your kids, only not funny.

Any kids.

[Brady]

I thought of the, you know, you're teaching Fear of Snoop on the shelf.

[John Holmberg]

Tiny black people.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He's walked by and just see, you know. Good Lord, you. A short African American walks by. Don't touch it. Don't touch him. Why wouldn't I touch him? You shook hands with him.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're not getting any prizes. What are you talking about?

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

You shook hands with that little black guy over there. I learned as a child, never do that. Sando's not gonna bring you a thing. Yeah, I've never heard of Snoop on a Shelf. But it seems wildly racist. Nice job, Gilbert. And no, you're not a cooler parent for having Snoop Dogg again. Your kid doesn't know who that is. Michael Jackson on a shelf, though. Now you got something. Morning. Oh, every kid should be warned about Michael. I'm watching you. There it is. Snoop on a shelf.

[Podcast Announcer]

That is on the stoop.

[John Holmberg]

Is he just the most horrific sellout in the history of all? Shaq and Snoop are in a battle to see who the hell can sell out harder.

[Brady]

Notice the size of the doll.

[John Holmberg]

He's 11 inches. You can only imagine what that metaphor is there.

Make it 11 inches, just like me. What are you talking about? You're six.

[Larry]

Oh, I see.

[John Holmberg]

Make him dangle. Chisel dizzle. If he's not 11 inches, he ain't authentic.

[Podcast Announcer]

I can even get it at Target for all your Gilberts.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's. Of course, that's where you sell it with a white shop. Isn't that great? I got some new khakis and a. And a polo and a. Look at this. A Snoop on the Shelf. Very Snoopy. Snoop on the stoop. Now, stoop is a word that they use for porch, but we use a different word.

[Brady]

That was the hottest white elephant gift.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so funny. So funny. God, Andy is a hilarious guy. I love going to his white elephant. The Snoop on the Stoop. I mean, who would. Who would ever consider.

So hip.

Oh, here.

[Podcast Announcer]

He's got a blunt in his mouth, too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's smoking weed.

I'm watching you, little player.

Dad, there's a magical black on the shelf. Who is it? Well, that's Snoop Doggy. That's the D, O, double G.

I don't understand that. What is that? Well, back in the 90s, when we stopped being afraid of them, they started rapping at us.

[Brady]

And remember, don't touch them.

[John Holmberg]

I think he's the one that taught us that we should probably all the police. Or one of them did. I'm not sure which. Easy. E On the shelf. We can't. NWA on the Shelf is awesome. What does it stand for? Northwest Airlines, if I'm not mistaken. Anyway.

They went out of business in the 90s. Not real sure exactly what happened to NWA now, that's a lesson.

How much do you think the RAT manned NWA had to do with the demise of Northwest Airlines? Because Northwest Airlines had just painted their planes. And that's a costly endeavor to have the side of them all say NWA like, son of a bitch. Are you kidding me? What just happened? Straight out of Compton.

[Podcast Announcer]

Why did they not do an album cover.

[John Holmberg]

Why they didn't just call it? Because they knew better that they were gonna get in trouble. But we can't have Easy E in the pilot seat in the commercial. It just looks bad.

[Brady]

Beastie Boys ruined it.

[John Holmberg]

With what?

[Brady]

With their plane on the album.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, they had the Beastie playing. Oh, it wasn't. That was fake Brady. I hate to break it to the Northwest Jones.

[Podcast Announcer]

Actually, it was a cartoon.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to kill the magic. But anyway, happy holidays, everyone.

Jews have it figured out. Nobody's taking credit for those presents but mom and dad, your socks and that dreidel came straight from their pocket. It's. It's a fact. And speaking I mentioned Shaquille o' Neal and Snoop, I got an email says, john, I have got to tell you, this is about yesterday's talk about Shaq being beaten. Male domestic violence is very, very real. And I knew when I was making jokes about this, somebody would email, said, I was physically abused by a woman I dated a lot. We were engaged. Every time we argued, she went crazy and left marks, bruises, cuts. But I knew this. She paid for everything. I was struggling, and I was truly afraid of her, and I had nowhere to go. That said, I laughed until I peed in the shower yesterday, when you did the Shaq thing, getting abused. Hilarious to think of him taking a beating. Thanks for everything. You do not. Showtime.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Shame.

[John Holmberg]

That wasn't from Showtime, Shane. It was somebody. But he used to take a beating, and even he thought it was funny that Shaq tried to be emotional about taking a punch.

It's just not a thing.

[Brady]

Tough, tough picture.

[John Holmberg]

It's just funny. Tough and hilarious. But.

Yeah, this guy says, I can just picture if Brady had tried to be cool with Snoop on a stoop and Curb Iterbs sitting there going, hey, man, I mean, does it come with weed, or do I have to buy it? I mean, what's he got? Can I smoke it or what is this thing, man?

Stooping a stoop is the widest, weirdest thing I've ever. You were right when you said whites do it. I can't imagine.

Snoop Dogg's not even important to black kids. Not anymore. Not at all.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Who the hell is that? Would be the first thing that would come out of their mouths. And then you gotta go, oh, oh, he's friends with DJ Eazy. Dick goes slapping you across your fat ass. You don't know the quotes of Doggy style. You don't, oh, I gotta play this for you. And they'd listen to it and go, this is garbage. He's not mumbling like, you know, I like Travis Scott's mumble rap.

Travis Scott on the shelf would make sense to them. What do you mean you don't understand?

[Brady]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Dee's nuts. These nuts. It was revolutionary. What's wrong with you? Kendrick Lamar on a shelf. Who the hell is that?

He's in a beef with Drake. I don't even know who these people are. I know Snoop Dogg and I know the easy. And that's who you get on a shelf at our house.

[Brady]

You don't have Drake on a rake.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, what is going on here? Honey, what the hell is a Drake Lamar? No, it's Kendrick Lamar. He wants that sitting on the shelf. Now can we just change the outfits? Will he know.

Snoop on a shelf? And you know, it's sad. There's a Gilbert mom that has that.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And she thinks she is just hilarious.

[Podcast Announcer]

Because she's wearing her daughter's clothes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she. She's, you know, she's 36. She's dressed up in her daughter's. I still fit. It still fits. My daughter's 13 now. They grew up with Snoop on a stoop. You're an idiot.

You just put Marla Gibbs up there from 227. What the hell is this? Oh, that's Florence from the Jeffersons on a stoop. It doesn't mean anything to your kids.

George Jefferson on a stoop would be hilarious too, because he's actual life size. Sherman Hemsley is about that size. Anyway, let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. A good one in the middle of the holiday season. Starting to think about all those things. Get those lists and we'll scream it to you. 585-9800. And we'll start this morning off beautifully. It's 98 KV.

[Larry]

Wake up. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

You thought that was funny?

You were laughing like a hyena when he.

[Larry]

What the hell is wrong with you?

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. Miles to nowhere. Oh, Katie and the Hobbs, how we will miss you. If Thomas James Band doesn't have an awesome opening song. The bar set so high by Katie and the Hobbs that we hope that our champions for next year, Thomas James Band, who also, by the way, told me they've already got the song written and finished.

[Podcast Announcer]

They were confident.

[John Holmberg]

They were. They seemed pretty.

[Podcast Announcer]

They were good.

[John Holmberg]

I liked what they were doing. So let's see if it. Let's hope it fits.

Let's hope it Fits. I'm going back and forth with a guy named Jason Schwartz who we're. He emails a lot. He's very funny guy. And he said he's. He used to put magnets up against the TV when he was a kid. The screen. His dad would lose mine because I always used to do like I said. I would take the turntable and roll it backwards a lot. Make the backwards sounds. Yeah. And I remember doing that too. And Dan was none too pleased because I was too stupid to realize I was probably gonna break it if I kept doing that. I did it right in front of the needle. Dad, watch this. And you put the magnet up against the old tv and the whole screen would start to wiggle and wobble and move and turn green and. What the hell are you doing?

[Ryan Hamilton]

Huh?

[John Holmberg]

Look, it's cool. Stop it. You're gonna break it, you moron.

[Larry]

But it did.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I'm just.

[John Holmberg]

Get outta.

[Brady]

Get.

[John Holmberg]

What do you have, Marcy? No more goddamn magnets. He's too stupid. And then I started to notice the magnets were way high up on the fridge. Couldn't get them. They were freezer magnets.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Now.

[John Holmberg]

Can'T reach all the magnets because it's stupid. You put them up against the tv, we're going to lose the Magnavox. And how dare you have a Magnavox. What basically says magnet on it? It's begging for it.

Morons. A couple emails. Guy says, I'm entering the Brady world this morning. I have to have my gallbladder removed. F my life. Signed tvan. That's not so bad. Gallbladder. So that's probably an easy one, isn't it? I know it's no fun to have stuff removed, but I mean, kidney versus.

[Brady]

Gallbladder or, you know, appendix.

[John Holmberg]

Brady seeing you kind of like as a. For complaining about that to him, because kidney. Kidney. It's like if you were playing gallbladder.

[Brady]

Seven and a half pounds.

Still come on.

[John Holmberg]

Rock, paper says they don't ever go, well, we're gonna have to do dialysis. Your gallbladder comes out and you're like, what was that for? It's like, we don't even know. Bile or something. I don't know. Rock, paper, scissors of organs. Kidney smashes gallbladder. Complete winner on that one. So Brady's got a cooler surgery than that. I mean, if you're getting stuff removed, it's like the top one is lung, right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's the biggest celebrity the other day that had lung removal.

[Brady]

Partial lung.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They chunk it up the Liver is not so bad because they can take pieces of that. It'll grow back a little bit. Still don't want to find yourself in the need of a liver. It's going to screw you up. Appendix is basically a hangnail inside your body.

Doctors don't even know what that thing does. And, like, we can pull it out.

[Brady]

That's spent.

[John Holmberg]

I like the one, doc. The first doctor that said, what, do we just take it out? I don't think this thing does anything. And he was right. How many arguments did he get into? Well, you can't just start. It's got to be there for a reason. I'm like, yeah, but we don't know.

[Podcast Announcer]

Hold my beer.

[John Holmberg]

Try it. This guy's complaining. He's here every week. Just pull it out. It's like the truck. Like, I think we can do without this, like an alternator. This is dumb. Let's just get rid of it.

[Podcast Announcer]

Well, how about the first guy that had it done? Like, all right, doc, I guess, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, go ahead and pull it out. What we're gonna do, we're gonna. We're gonna replace it from his mirror.

You're gonna put a towel in there or something, Sop up the juice? No, we're just gonna pull it out and see how it goes. You all right with that? Like, well, I mean, this hurts so bad. I think. Yeah, I think that's the best option. Or maybe the dude just cut himself open and ripped it out and goes, I'm fine. Like, absolutely no changes in my life or lifestyle. This is. I don't think we need these. Explode.

[Brady]

They didn't know what's going on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we got to take it out. And then what? Nothing. Really. That's. That's surgery.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We take it out, and then nothing. We sew you back up. Nothing's like a tooth. You'll do. All right. So I got, like, five or six of these. Nope, it's the only one. And you're just gonna just. Yeah, your body doesn't need it. I had busted a little bone in my hand a long time ago. Tiny little. Couldn't move my wrist. I'm like, God damn it. I think I broke my wrist. And I don't know how. This tiny little bone down here is. You're like 3,000. Jammed it up, and it broke. It cracked in half and.

[Brady]

But prevented your wrist from.

[John Holmberg]

No, I could move it. It just hurt. It always felt like something was going. Think like somebody just took a needle and just jammed it into right where your wrist meets your Hand, I see. Got a little crack on that bone. I forget the name of the bone. That's the closest I've ever been to Ken Griffey Jr. It's because he had. They just take it out. Like, it doesn't do anything. Like, it doesn't. No, it has to. Like, years from now, science will discover. Oh, man. That's like the thing that he keeps you alive. But appendix, That's a nothing one. Your gallbladder is pretty low in the list of scary. Although if you keep a sick one in there, you get real bad. Because they don't replace that either. They just pull it. My uncle had his bladder removed. And that's kind of neat because he said, I still have to. I still know when I've got a pee. But it just happened.

[Brady]

Just direct.

[John Holmberg]

It just goes right into the bag. And he can still do it. Evidently. He's like, no, I can still go. I can seal up the bag and it'll come out, but I. It'll tell. My body goes, hey, I think you gotta pee. It's like. It's pretty immediate. Like, how neat is that? Like, it's not worth the cancer that he had. But it's kind of a neat story. But your gallbladder, you're going to be fine, Tvan. But it does suck to go in and get that done. So hopefully you're good. Kidney removal is a big one. That's a. You had a big one. That wasn't. That's no joke. Liver, kidney, lung, gallbladder, women. The more we talk, the lower you get on the list. I can't bladder everything else inside you good.

[Brady]

Well, if you're talking about, you know, volume two, amount of gallbladders removed, probably more crazy kidneys, but I don't know. I've run into a lot of people.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

I've been one kidney for years.

[John Holmberg]

And then you can call a landscaping company and have your gallbladder removed. There's nothing. See?

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah, those.

[John Holmberg]

Those are. Those operations. You can do it at a hotel. No, he's had a gallbladder removal operation going in room 10B at the best Westerns.

[Brady]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's. So.

[Larry]

What.

[Brady]

Hold my phone up and. Yeah, following the instructions here.

[John Holmberg]

Gallbladder removal for dummies.com.

See, my abuelita, the one she'll be assisting. Is your grandmother going to assist us? Yes. Do you need any dental work? She'll do that, too. Yeah, why not? But I'm thinking all the stuff in my body to have removed and gallbladder appendix or 1, 2 on the. Okay, I'll do that. So what I'm saying t van is. And people think I'm a pessimist, but I'm not. You got bad news, but you got the best bad news you can get.

You know, my mom had breast cancer years ago, and I remember my sister and her were like, oh, it's the end. Stage one, terrible, terrible diagnosis. But I'm like, guess what? If you're going to get bad news, this is the best bad news you could have gotten. I mean, you're at the low level of bad news. So there's a solution.

I don't want to quote people who love saying there's a final solution, but there was a final. So we can make this go away.

It says gallbladders just three holes nowadays. Back in the day, they'd flap you open like an L. Just cut an L in you and open you like a Samsonite. Reach in, like when you're trying to get. Oh, yeah, I forgot to pack my phone charger. And you just unzip part of the suitcase, shove it in there and go. That's what they used to do to your gut. Now it's three holes in the back, and they suck it out.

[Brady]

It's just tweezers in a game of operation.

[John Holmberg]

Your kid don't touch the side. Your kidney's fairly remarkable. Just kind of a little tiny hole. And they. Out of the hole.

[Brady]

Five.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, five holes.

[Brady]

And then. Well, then when they realized the payload.

[John Holmberg]

No, you had. You had a C section. You had basically had a baby growing in it. And this one says, John, I was curious if you could give a happy 35th birthday shout out to Colby Wolf, loyal listener. Only five years left until expiration. That's right, Matt. Colby is a woman. Evidently, that's kind of one of those. So the four. And when she turns 40, she'll be out. Thank you, sir. And we'll see you on the 12th at homework after dark. Matt Wolf. Well, thank you, Matt. And Happy birthday to Colby. 35. Don't waste them.

Keep it together. You've got. You got 12, 12, 13 good years of keeping it together before all your complaining just turns into bad haircuts and big clothes.

That's what you discover as you get older. Some of your friends, wives have just gone to big clothes and short hair, and you're like, oh, she quit. She quit. It's over.

[Brady]

Sporty hair she got.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Whenever she says, I think it's just smart. It's just easier for me.

[Podcast Announcer]

It's Fun.

[John Holmberg]

It's fun hair.

I said that to a woman the other day. She got. Her hair actually looked nice, but I thought it was funny because she got her. She cut her hair short. And I know deep down every woman that comes and goes, oh, my God. I said, did you cut your hair? Oh, I cut it all off. I knew that. Not an idiot. I said, kind of. I said, what does your hairdresser do for a living? Are you such an. Because I knew deep down she was. She was insecure about her new short hair.

She hated it. It's risky. But when they cut their hair short, they're done. It's over. And I also saw this. You know what? I'm glad I'm not. And I'm never going to be an active environmentalist. And the reason why isn't because.

[Brady]

Why would you shoot that?

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you exactly why. First off, I care about the environment. I think we're messy. I think we could fix a lot by being cleaner.

[Brady]

You're not doing your old school picnics where you.

[John Holmberg]

The old. Just litter bugged me. Although I did at the golf course yesterday, Brady and I played and I. I just chucked a Coke can and missed the trash can. And also, by the way, you just drove away. So you're worse. I did. Yeah, I did. I missed the can. And then we're like, yeah, we got shots to hit and we just kept there. Somebody will get it. It's a nice.

[Brady]

There's people paying.

[John Holmberg]

It was Camelback. We're keeping people employed. I say, but we, you know, it was one Coke can.

[Brady]

Everything else was picked up.

[John Holmberg]

But an environmentalist would get all the mail. If everybody said it's just one Coke can, there'd be 8 billion Coke cans laying around. All right, well, what's the difference? I mean, you just shove it into a corner. Essentially. It's just laying around anyway. You could recycle. Here we go. But I don't ever want to be an environmentalist. Mainly because. Not because I don't care. Because you're no fun. I saw this thing last night. Michael Jordan is renting yachts from this billionaire at $780,000 a week. Can you even.

[Brady]

Is he renting his yacht? Because didn't he.

[John Holmberg]

He's got a yacht he rented from a billionaire. This. It's ridiculous. And they said it costs. I don't know if Michael's getting charged this. Yeah, $780,000 a week. Michael has it for a month.

So I can't do the math, but that's an awful lot of money for a rental just for fun. And they're like, you know, and it just looks awesome. And there was this gaggle of environmentalists going on and on about that's what happens. That's what happens to your money. Every time you buy one of his shoes or socks with the Jumpman on him, he just uses it for that.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Like, yeah, three plus three mil a month. And it dawned on me that who would you rather be friends with? Michael Jordan or that person? And we could Michael Jordan in a second. And not because he's famous or anything else. Who would you rather be friends with? Dude with a yacht. Or at least he's got 800 grand a week to rent a yacht and you can hang out with him and have fun. Or the person that's in his pocket screaming about success and how stupid it is and the environment's gonna die if you go on that yacht. I'm like, no, I don't want to be friends with you. Every environmentalist you're telling me that gets to that level wouldn't take an invitation on a yacht to dick around with Michael Jordan. There. There's no way you could find the most ardent Greta Thunberg wannabe and say Michael wants to have you on his yacht for a couple days. Do what? Just party and have fun now. Are you kidding me? All right. You get a free pair of Air Jordans. I won't wear them. Like, why? Because we just use that money on more yacht time. You wouldn't. No. I'm going over to Michael. He's 10 times more fun than you environmentalists. PETA. You guys have to be more fun. You're always on TV bitching about dumb stuff. You're in Michael Jordan's pocket. So what?

The environmental cost of every yacht that goes blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, you guys take those gas powered boats out and start yelling at people on the ocean.

[Brady]

And you spent a month on a, a bass boat at $2,000. That's what Michael Jordan's.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. If you spend a month on a bass.

[Brady]

Three million to him.

[John Holmberg]

It's a strange homelessness.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That you're on a, on a ranger for a month.

[Brady]

But why would you.

[John Holmberg]

But still they're getting in his pockets because. And there are, there are some things that. And the worst part is the environmentalist is actually right. There is an excessive amount of that comes out of a yacht that. I mean, the upkeep alone with hourly operation. Yeah. The oil and what it's doing. It's terrible. But you, you're so annoying that you make me want a yacht. That's how bad it is. I don't. I don't look at the environment. I look at how awful you are and I want to rub it in your face. It makes me want to succeed so I can buy dumb stuff. And that the ultimate sign of success is environmentalists bothering you. If Greenpeace is bothering you, you are the most. You have hit the new level of American success. If Greenpeace is like, you shouldn't do that. It's like, I must be super successful. They hate successful people spending money on fun stuff. He could give all that money to us. Oh, now I see. Okay.

[Podcast Announcer]

If I was Michael, I'd sit there and light my cigars with hundred dollar.

[John Holmberg]

Bills just because I can't and just idle the boat. I wouldn't even. I wouldn't even drive it out of the thing. I'd just turn it on. I don't know what yachts make. That's the yacht noise bubbling and. Are you gonna turn that off?

[Larry]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

Just gonna let it run out of gas. We're gonna fill it up again. Why would you do that? Because I sell a boatload of shoes, you dumbass. Now get out of here.

[Brady]

Powered by 50 Hellcat engines.

[John Holmberg]

Would you take your weak ass Skechers and walk away from my yacht?

Oh, I can't believe it. Hippie. And you're never. You can't. It doesn't seem like they ever have fun. All their events are miserable.

[Brady]

Have.

[John Holmberg]

This would be awesome. Have an environmental party on a yacht and row it. And they look and make it fun. You'd laugh the whole time trying to row that thing. It would be a riot.

Giant. Or. Yeah, and just have all the. We're selling a yacht, having the time of our lives. And then, you know, put candles on it or whatever. I don't know. Don't use the electricity. But you ruin everything with your complaining.

Be more fun.

And it goes for PETA too. I'm all for. Think of the name. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Who's against it? But they make you hate them so much that you're like, you know what? I might just go slap a dolphin. I'm tired of you.

You yell at us all the time. Be a good environmentalist with like a. There's never one that's funny. No good sense of humor on an environmentalist. Like, God, that guy's hilarious about the environment.

The only way to be hilarious about the environment is to act like you hate it. Loving the environment just does not go hand in hand with fun people. We can quietly do it. But that's what I wish they were Michael Jordan's out there. And she said at the end of the article, it was all like. They called it Jordan's Adventures. The whole time, I'm like, right there, he's winning. That sounds more fun than what you're doing. But large yachts burn thousands of gallons of fuel every day. And the carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, there's more pollution in a week. If the Earth is going to come to an end, how would you rather have it end? On a yacht or yelling at someone on a yacht?

[Brady]

In picking that one particular one, I was just thinking, what about all the cruise ships? I never hear them talking about that. There's a lot of. Between all the different cruise lines.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good question.

Yeah, I don't know. Why don't they just stand outside a carnival in Royal Caribbean and get mad at them?

[Brady]

Get shot?

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. In front of the carnival cruisers. You'll take a bullet, bitch. Outside yelling about we having fun. I got this.

[Brady]

We have fun.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going down the water slide on a water boat. I'm on the water and I'm playing in water in a boat.

[Larry]

Shut up.

[John Holmberg]

You're ruining the environment. You're ruining the air.

[Larry]

Shut up.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Greta, look at these nuts.

Baby. Get my. Get my bag real quick. It's over there. Next. It's in the. It's in the glove compartment on the Hellcat. Yeah, go get that.

Hey, you bitching about the air. Look what's flying through it right now.

It's my Gap. My family and I trying to enjoy a carnival cruise for that smoke. There you go. I took care of it.

Let's turn this bitch on, see what it can do.

Yeah. Yeah. The cruise lines that offer like $100 nights. Oh, man, you don't want to yell at that cruise.

They'll pull over. Oh, yeah, that ends right there. Shut up. Oh, we got environmentalists over this. We got this. Don't worry about it. Hey, pull your boat over.

[Larry]

What?

[John Holmberg]

You're killing the environment. Gonna kill your ass. You kill it. We was gonna climb the rock wall.

[Podcast Announcer]

Smoke that fool, doughboy.

[John Holmberg]

Take him out. There's enough of that.

[Brady]

That boat has dock feelers.

[John Holmberg]

And then that big bass happens. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yo, yo, yo. We just shot an environmentalist.

[Larry]

That's 10.

[John Holmberg]

Keep that alive. That is a fun cruise. They don't ever yell at cruises. You're right, because they run the risk. Of a mutiny of some sort. Quit yelling at Michael Jordan. That's an awesome life. And it just, it bothers me that anybody would, that would say, oh, I'm against yachts. You're immediately, someone I don't want to hang out with. Oh, I would never like, really must.

[Brady]

Not have gotten the invite because usually when they do those yachts, they invite like five or six families.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but look, but if somebody turned it now I'm like, look, if I had a bunch of friends, I'm like, hey, I'm taking my yacht out. This yacht, like a real one. Not one of those people that call a yacht like a. It's got 14 bedrooms, it's bigger than a hotel. Like, I'm taking the yacht out this. You want to go? And somebody goes, no, I would never get on a yacht. I'm like, we can't be friends.

[Brady]

A waste of gas.

[John Holmberg]

We can't. Yeah. If you're thinking about like, come on, Earth's been around for a billion years. If my yacht blows it up, it's a fragile. Let's have fun on the way out.

I think Earth will be fine. We will die. And no one ever understands that. They think they're saving Earth because we're so arrogant as humans that we've got to save the planet. Planet will be fine. It'll just shake us off.

But Michael Jordan has to. And you know what the best thing is? Michael doesn't care. Just got back on the yacht, yelling at him the whole time like, ah, what are you gonna do? They're just jealous they don't have a yacht. That's really all that's going on here.

Could be worse. I don't know if you guys saw what's going on. You know, this is going to be a controversial statement. Sometimes the Taliban has some good ideas.

[Podcast Announcer]

Oh, here we go.

[John Holmberg]

Let me just restate that. The Taliban, sometimes you go, good on you guys. That's a good one. They have a rule there.

That if this dude went in and slaughtered like 12 people of one family left, like a 13 year old boy, that's he's the only one that survived the whole killing, killed the whole family and then they caught him. And in the law over there in the Taliban that we're always bitching about, you know, they don't let women drive and stuff again. Sometimes they have good ideas. They let the family, the survivors, decide whether or not to spare the life of the guy who did all the killing or to kill him. And the family that was left was 13 year old boy like, what do you want to do? And he goes, I want to ice that. I'm killing him. Like, all right.

[Podcast Announcer]

Here'S your AK.

[John Holmberg]

December 2, 2025. I don't know if they're on the same years as us. Roll them out there. And the boy will do it with a fork. You have to do it. So if you want him to die, you have to do it. So this 13 year old boy goes out. Where did they do it? A stadium. How many people showed up? 80,000. To watch a 13 year old boy kill the guy that killed his whole family with a gun.

[Podcast Announcer]

Where's the problem?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I didn't know they had stadiums.

[Larry]

All right.

[Brady]

I'm kind of swarmed afterwards.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I think Bad Bunny was there. They flew all those comedians over that did the Saudi Arabia show and they put them. It was, I don't know, 80,000 people. And they're so. I'm. We're all thinking it's like that's a lot of pressure. Roman times where everybody just shows up and goes to the stadium. It's a stadium. It's a modern stadium, or at least modern enough. It's basically like Shea Stadium was in New York. There's vendors, so you can buy hot dogs. I don't think you get a hot dog in Afghanistan. I think they're against that. You can't get beer, so you can get like an iced tea.

[Brady]

They nickname their different stadiums around there too.

[John Holmberg]

Welcome to Death Valley.

Yeah, the Shoe. They call it the shoe. It's 80,000 people. So it's a big house, they call it. And they march them right out in the middle of the stadium. I don't even know what sports Afghanistan's playing. Every time I got a video of Afghanistan, it's everybody just herding goats. I don't even know what they have. Soccer.

[Brady]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

I guess every indoctrination and, you know, every guy that's come back from there has told me it's horrible.

[Brady]

What's that game where you're hitting that dead goat around?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

It's not like it is nothing like polo. If there's a dead goat involved, it's Afghani polo. There's always a dead goat. That's called dinner. But I've never heard anybody go, oh, man, Afghanistan sucks. Except, you know, Saturdays just shuts down for football. Like what? They've got a stadium that holds 80,000 people. That there's bathrooms, there's vendors. They had to get like the guys.

[Podcast Announcer]

By Concert shirts and everything else there. Execution shirts.

[Brady]

All that town right there, that's a death town right there.

[John Holmberg]

It shuts down for dudes marching up and down the stairs. Crab collage, Mountain Dew.

They've got all of it.

[Larry]

Crab juice, Mountain Dew.

[John Holmberg]

What.

They had to have, they had to hire a crew. They probably have a Rah Rah Ruin. I'll have two Cref Kolash and a Do Crab Kaleido Crab Jones. No crab juice. Thank you. That's an old Simpsons reference. There's a lot of people out there laughing at that because it's very funny. Because there's a guy in the thing and walk by home and he goes, crab Kalash.

[Larry]

Mountain Dew.

[John Holmberg]

And he goes, crev Kalesh.

Yes. What it was, it was crab juice.

But yeah, they had to do that. 80,000 people going into a place. Don't just stand there, watch the killing and then file out. They're going to want to drink. Some of them are going to pee where there's some food.

[Brady]

Preliminary killings.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't know. The undercard. Yeah, maybe they had a couple of like, all right, this guy raped my mother, so I get to slap him around for a little while. You can't kill him. Wasn't a death penalty. But if the family gets to walk up and just whack the dude once, yeah, maybe there was an undercard. But sometimes the Taliban has good ideas. Let's not dismiss it. Baby bathwater situation. Which, by the way, look up the reason that is a sentence. It's the creepiest thing ever. Used to wash. All the family washed in the same bathtub. By age.

Babies were the last ones to go. And sometimes they get lost in the bath water. And when they dumped it out, a baby was in there because you couldn't see through all the dirty water.

[Brady]

Yeah, it lived on the second story.

[John Holmberg]

It used to actually mean something. Don't throw out the baby with the bathroom. He could be in there.

[Brady]

Happened.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we need a sentence, we need a phrase for that. Too many people are doing. It was like a PSA on early billboards. Don't throw the baby.

[Brady]

Call before you dig.

[John Holmberg]

It's exactly the same. Years from now, they'll laugh. Why do we say call before you dig? Oh, in the old days, they used to just put shovels in the ground and blow stuff up. They were dumb.

[Larry]

John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

But, yeah, they. They did the execution in a stadium. And the death penalty penalty was carried out by a 13 year old. We were just sitting there, you know, clutching our pearls going, could you imagine?

And I'm like, yes I could. That would be great. 13 year old boy, 12 of his family members killed by this dude. And he's in a courtroom or whatever they have there, just probably some shack with a judge. And he's like, what do you want.

[Larry]

To do about it?

[John Holmberg]

He's like, kill him. It's like, all right, you're going to do it if you want him dead. I ain't, it's not on my hands. You do it. And he said, okay. And they handed him a gun and then filled the stadium.

[Brady]

Did they do a replay on the jumbo?

[John Holmberg]

I had to, right? Or you make the call? Did you wing him? Like if I was, if I was that kid, I'd have shot like five times and missed on purpose just to watch that dude piss himself waiting for the one that tags him.

[Podcast Announcer]

Imagine Collins worth being there on the call to this thing.

[John Holmberg]

I mean this kid's checking it around like my homes, you know, he's got the wild, he's, he plays like a child. Cuz he is one. And I tell you right now this crowd is in a fringe. They are whipped up and there is very few people on the murderer side. I mean this is, they do not travel well, the murderers family.

I mean there he comes, look at him, he's holding that gun, it's so heavy. They gave him a Desert Eagle. That's gonna be a big kick. He might go down now.

Yeah, I, I looked at that and I said, what's the problem? A 13 year old boy, he's grown up in Afghanistan. He ain't growing up in Gilbert. He's not a 13 year old boy shooting. It's not, he doesn't, he's, he's already mentally screwed up. He lives in Afghanistan. This is just teaching him to be an Afghan man.

He's already probably got, he's on his second job. His wife is just a bitch. He's tired of it. I don't know what goes on over there. I've never heard good stories. I've never heard one guy who was in the war come back and go, man, when they clean that place up, I'm taking the whole family over there for vacation. Like I didn't hear one person that went to Afghanistan and said there was something good about it. The views were ugly, the country stunk, but they got a stadium. I've actually google mapped like some of the cities there. It just, it's this like it's all the same stuff. They don't know how to make roads. They're all curvy and messy. It's like LA and similar to some.

[Brady]

Of our housing developments, you know? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But it's like, those are the nice places. And then. So I never once said, you know, stadium Afghanistan. Never saw the Mountain Dew. Crev Kalech stadium Churro. Get your turtle.

The shooting begins in 10 minutes. You have your churro. We are cutting off sales.

Okay, everybody out. But they had to have bathrooms and attendants and ticket guys and be like.

[Podcast Announcer]

The old lemonade guy at the DBs games and everything else.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they probably had that Lemonade. Lemonade. Like Afghani grandma made My Afghani grandma made crack lemonade. Oh, strawberry. Okie dokie.

Two cents. Two cents. My God, who has such money? I don't. And I don't think any of us do in America. Think of them like having a nice weekend watching sports. Do you? You've never thought that in your life.

[Brady]

I bet you they have some good togethers.

[John Holmberg]

They had the games Saturday as Americans.

[Brady]

Come on down to Bin Laden's furniture outlet.

[John Holmberg]

We are so dumb when it comes to culture. Then I'm the king of it. That if you told me, like, what's going on in Afghanistan right now? It's like, just meetings. They're all meeting to kill us. Like, all they're doing is meeting every day. They're praying and then they're training and training. They're on the. They're on the monkey bars in the jungle gym, and all they're doing is training for the next time we're there. They hate us. They don't have. Do they have food? I don't know if they have food.

[Brady]

Nope. They live in caves.

[John Holmberg]

They live in caves and they eat goats. Just random wild goats.

[Podcast Announcer]

You mean they don't.

[John Holmberg]

And that's what we all think. And you said stadium. I'm like, they've got a stadium for what? For their weekends of, like, sport.

Like when Islamabad U takes on Michigan. Like, look at the rival rivalry week. Yeah. They fight for the oak barrel this week. A big oak barrel battle. They do it. And we don't think of that, but they had a stadium for it. And then they broke out, like, a special event. And we are. People here were all upset. I don't know too many of my friends or anybody that I know that would be that upset at the idea that's like, all right, you want them dead, you got to do it yourself. And then they sold tickets to it and they showed up they packed the place.

80,000 people in Afghanistan didn't have anything to do that day. So they like, they tailgated, you know, that they were.

[Brady]

Wonder what the giveaway was at the gate.

[John Holmberg]

They had a 50, 50 raffle. Tons of stuff.

[Podcast Announcer]

They got bobbleheads.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, bobbleheads.

[Brady]

First 10,000.

[John Holmberg]

Get your shooting, boy.

[Larry]

Bobblehead.

[John Holmberg]

First 10,000. That's gunny. Show up, get the prize and the T shirt. Bought this T shirt. Ah, it's just a bit. It's a robe with no sleeves.

Yeah, I don't. I don't picture them ever having fun. And I'm sure they do.

[Podcast Announcer]

Can you imagine this guy saying, imagine Brennaman on the call and there's Muhammad.

[John Holmberg]

With a deep drive, and they'd be thrilled with him. Welcome to the non capital of the world. Islamabad, Afghanistan. I'm Tom Brennaman and we're gonna watch a kid shoot a guy today, and that's gonna be great. There's a deep drive by Castellanos and I can get away with saying all day here, infidel heritage. Oh, my God, it's great. I mean, that is a section of twinks over there. And they should just have rocks thrown at them constantly, don't you think? There's the section hard throw by. Yeah.

[Larry]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

He winds up. First shot. Holy cow. This kid's all over the map. That missed. What? Killed a guy in the front row. He lines up for the second one. One. And oh. To the bad guy. Oh, that winged him.

[Larry]

Took him in.

[John Holmberg]

The boy, oh, boy. I got to tell you, I thought he maybe should go to a range before this. Yeah, yeah. What do you think their team names are? They have like these llama bod bombers and oh, yeah, the pilots.

The Landers.

The pilots. They call themselves the Landers. It's ironic. We never learned to land them.

We just do take off and then that's. You are trained touchdown.

[Brady]

The detonators.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I mean, a couple of those shots earlier on the undercard might be fight of the year. There he is. That's the one there. He took him down with a double. One to the head, one to the chest. You got body mass on that. That ended it. And this fight ends quickly. And the crowd is loving.

But it's. Yeah. I've never once heard anybody say, man, this guy said, I just googled maps. Afghanistan. Not gonna lie. Mexico makes that place look like a dump.

[Larry]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

I'm with you. And Mexico has beautiful stadiums and a lot of money. I've never once said, he's an you know what? You never heard the phrase Afghani billionaire? The only one has bin Laden and he's from Saudi Arabia.

If there are Afghani billionaires, they're keeping it on the down low. But there has to be a guy who owns the team in that stadium.

There's a Stadium, holds 80,000. You know what it's bigger than? State Farm. It's bigger than the Cardinal Stadium, which only holds like 70. If we had a kid shooting a guy and we had to house it there, we wouldn't break their record for attendance even if we filled it up.

[Podcast Announcer]

Hear that, Cardinals?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you hear that Cardinals? You can't fill it up. We got a 13 year old boy plugging a guy in Afghanistan. 80,000 tickets sold, everybody for the home team. Here you go on Ticketmaster right now. Plenty of good seats still available.

[Brady]

You going? Yeah, I got a suite.

[John Holmberg]

They're sweets. They probably had sweets. I got a good tweet. We got a caterpillar, tons of it.

All the goat you could eat.

[Podcast Announcer]

Cameron wants to know who the opener is for the execution.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what we were saying. Is there a band? Is it other. Other events, other crimes.

Drive safely for stealing.

[Brady]

Couple hands.

[John Holmberg]

A couple of hands. God, yeah. I love this day. I love Saturday at the stadium.

[Podcast Announcer]

Do they have the muscle cam and everything else?

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then at the end, the two guys. Oh, boy. They put a couple of fellas on the kiss cam. You're gonna get stoned to death.

[Brady]

They fall for it.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Yeah, the moral police are gonna come for that one. It's like the kiss cam is a slap. Your wife cam probably is what it's called. Biblical whore cam.

Show her ankle. Show your. You know, they do the shoe cam up there at Suns games. You show, show your kicks. Everybody's just wearing sandals. I don't picture them having fun. They have fun. Now, the shooting thing is not necessarily the fun stuff, but it. 80,000 people, I guarantee you, like all of them were having a blast.

[Podcast Announcer]

They killed 13 of his family members. Sounds fun to me.

[John Holmberg]

He got what? He got what? We should implement this.

[Podcast Announcer]

Sean Rockefeller says between the food, the body odor and the women. Imagine the stench at that stadium, man.

[John Holmberg]

And death.

That's the least of the three. Well, Sean's blind, right? Yeah. So he smells everything. He's magnified. I mean, that's. It's gonna stink, you know, but if you plopped an Afghani down at State Farm or Son's game and he smelled perfume and soap and all that. You guys are disgusting. He thinks we Stink. Because he's used to it. His thing. They have restaurants. I don't think. We think that if you thought oh like if You Google Top 10 Places to Eat in Islamabad you would like nothing would come up. But they have it. They have to. Right? They've got influencers. Sure. They've got five. And oh, and that was the one thing about the stadium too. No phones. So they had to have a guy outside with one of those bags because no one was allowed to film it. Because they knew deep down America will get all goofy about if we do this. So don't show them.

[Brady]

Jake Paul was there.

[John Holmberg]

So that. So right there. Yeah. It might have been a Jake Paul event. He probably wanted to fight the kid and then brag about what a good fighter he is. I took down that 13 year old boy with a gun. But it's. Yeah. They had to have. They had to. They had to arrange it like that a week before. They probably haven't. We need that company that does the phone bag lock thing. We're taking out everyone's phone. The Internet. It exists. They ha. Yeah. Yonder. Yonder. We made a contract with the guys at Yonder. Hello, Yonder. I got a weird one here. We got a kid killing a guy. We're gonna pack the house.

[Brady]

How many bag?

[John Holmberg]

80,000 bag. No one can have phone. But that means they've got iPhones. You don't picture that. Just all I see is the goat farmer with that big stick walking around the middle of nowhere. That's what I think of when I think Afghanistan. They've got an airport. They got all sorts of stuff.

[Brady]

Thousands of tiny trucks with 50 cows in the back.

[John Holmberg]

Tons of Toyotas with 40 dudes on it. Not in it, on it. It's going.

They probably even have like they've got technology. I don't even think of them that way. And that's because of the media and what they've done. They've made. They've made it like they just dirt people. They don't have sports, they kick cans.

[Brady]

And there was 80,000 sat phones in that stadium.

[John Holmberg]

Tons. Yeah. Take a picture of me standing in front of this. Take a picture of my food.

[Podcast Announcer]

Luke wants to know if there's a 50. 50 drawing at this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I said. Is everybody not paying attention? Brad? Especially you. These are jokes we've already told.

Yeah.

[Brady]

Today's attendance, 80,287.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good. Nice job, huh? I'd like to say you've broken a record for last time. Teenage Boy kill man in stadium.

No attendance record here as the Obama stadium.

And the nerve they would have. Hey, we have a new stadium. We need some sponsorship, so we thought we'd give you a call. You called American Airlines to sponsor your stadium?

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You guys do it all over in America. We figured why not? I'm gonna hang up right now. I hate you so much for this call. This is terrible.

[Larry]

What you don't have.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, we got 80,000 people there.

[Brady]

Hold on.

[John Holmberg]

What? Welcome to American Airlines Stadium in Islamiba. They do it anyway. Sometimes the Taliban has good ideas. That's all I'm saying.

[Podcast Announcer]

First time I've ever heard that one.

[John Holmberg]

That's not been said too often.

I don't like them, but it's the first time.

And then I saw another thing where they were talking about people being influenced by games and TV again. And I'm so tired of that, you know, until someone jumps their car off of one of those car loader trucks, you know, it's got the 10 cars in the back of the semi and then they're taking them down and it parks in the middle of the road and it's got the two to back the cars off the top shelf and they leave it. If you've ever played Grand Theft Auto, the temptation of driving by one of those things is beyond. You can't do it. If a truck makes a ramp, you hit it and you jump and you got points for it. Still to this day, no one, even in Florida has tried it. And until that happens, I will never believe that we're influenced by, you know, video games. Video games, tv, stupid stuff like that. Yelling at everybody for that. And maybe that maybe there's some truth to it because there's some stuff we have ideas where like we wouldn't have got unless we watch TV or saw it in a game or something. But.

It'S. There's no possible. We get. We do have things we do because if you saw it on tv, it's the only way you got that idea.

Like you see it in a movie and usually it's a guy saw something in a movie and that's how he tries to kill his wife and get away with it.

But for the most part, I don't want to hear that anymore. That argument's dead to me. It's influenced us all. Nope, it hasn't. Because Grand Theft Auto is still the most successful video game in my life. And never once has anyone tried any of the ramp jumps. And that's before killing a guy because you're so numb to violence. You would try jumping your car off the ramp. You're not doing it.

Any argument back. Well, cars are expensive. And you go, okay, it's murder's expensive, you idiot.

It's dumb.

[Brady]

Only seen the movies where they do the getaway, where the, you know, the truck opens up the back end and lowers the ramp and the. They drive it up into the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sure, as a getaway. But, I mean, if you've ever played Grand Theft Auto, the first time you did it, you're like, I'm never. I'm never looking at that again. The same way you see one of those trucks with the ramps down and it's parked, you circle back in the game like, I'm gonna get some air off of this. Which is the way people in Florida think they do it. For real? Yeah. You've got.

Cannonball run 2. They do it in Cannibal Run, too. And if this didn't influence hillbillies to try this, and these guys didn't do it on purpose, but Duke's a hazard.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

All this stuff. Oh, look at. There's a ramp. Oh, yeah. And then you just jump in trucks until hillbillies start doing that. TV and games influencing people is not a thing.

Not even close to a thing. Don't want to hear it. It's silly.

And it's frustrating because they're like, well, it's because violence and television. No.

They do talk about that with like, well, because I got roofied the other day. I'm convinced of it. They were talking about spiked drinks, and they think that that comes from tv. People wouldn't have thought of that had it not been for tv. I think they've been spiking drinks from way before tv. They think that that's the money, you know, became prevalent to go, oh, you can roof. You're like, the Cosby thing was all from storytelling and books and entertainment. Nobody ever thought of that on their own. I don't think that's true. Lunatics will think of something loony. And usually that makes great TV later. But stop blaming that stuff. Are we invisible? Guy just goes, do you think they have a rah rah rheumatic. We said that already.

So do you think, John, between innings of the Afghani flyers and the 911 jumpers, the hot dog race is. Instead with it, they throw the Jew and they toss a penny in the air.

[Brady]

Kebab races.

[John Holmberg]

Which one is the Jew? Like, will it float? They throw money in the air, and if anybody runs towards it like a.

[Brady]

Jew.

[John Holmberg]

Israel Is the guy who wrote that. His name is Israel. That's ironic.

Yeah. Not one of you listening thought Afghanistan has plenty of things to do on the weekends. Nobody's ever thought of like stuff to do. That's what we do. They don't. Close your eyes. Picture the Middle East. You're going to picture a weird mud hut and people inside just going.

Infidel, like they hate us. All day, 24 hours a day.

24 hours a day. But no, they've got sports and they've got a team that travels because you can't have an 80,000 seat stadium. And for two teams that are just playing each other all the time, there's somebody flying in. Probably some friendly matches with Pakistan, which is a little on hand now and again.

[Brady]

Still drive around the town and call Doug Hopkins.

[John Holmberg]

Probably have a. Yeah.

Hopkins. Hopkins. I want to buy your hut for cash.

[Brady]

Call husband and wives.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, hold on. Yeah, they probably have it all in the wreck. Needs check.

97719. Oh, your phone. They have all the stuff we've got. Accident injury law is a little different though because if you're a drunk driver, they just put you in a Stadium and 80,000 people watch you get hit by a car.

He killed your family with drunk driving. He should not have been drinking. So what do you want to do about it? I want him to die. Okay. Here's the keys. Go run him down. We'll sell tickets.

[Brady]

Call the Stone.

[John Holmberg]

Stone man. Hey, I'm not in lawyer with all of those books and stuff. That's a bunch of bull.

[Larry]

I am the Stone man.

[John Holmberg]

Stone in law.

Give you lip. Stone her. It's a little more violent than just getting you, you know, some money back and getting it erased from your record. We will stone the wife show ankles at party. Stone the bitch. Call the Stone man.

It's got a little cartoon.

It's a neat place, I think.

Hey, look, move the cardinals there.

[Podcast Announcer]

These guys bring that to the Cardinal stadium. I mean it's.

[John Holmberg]

What are they doing with all of these timeouts? Where is boy to shoot, man? What stupid game. Why are they wearing helmets? It's not a bad idea to put helmets on our women. The horse. That's true. It's 7:24. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Bert?

[Podcast Announcer]

I wake up so I'm brought to you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, what do you got?

[Brady]

Dexter was wondering if you criticize a coach for time management at the stadium.

[John Holmberg]

He's calling another time out. We're going to be out of time. You fire Tomlin fire.

[Larry]

Tomlinson.

[Brady]

You've only got eight bullets left.

[John Holmberg]

He's only going to. This is. That guy's going to make it.

[Podcast Announcer]

Be like Eber Flews last year during the Lions game. Just letting the clock run out.

[John Holmberg]

Learn to shoot. He did not practice. This is, you know, this is the culmination of them not getting it done during the week because on game day they're not prepared. There's another one. This kid is all over the map. Put in the other kid.

He's a gunslinger. He's a gunslinger out. I think he's. He's facing the wrong way. He's got to know when to take a shot and take a sack.

Yeah, they have it, we don't. It's a better sport. I'd buy tickets to that. He's watched some of these, you know, some of these murders that happen. Oh, she get. Why would I just bomb them? Gonna fly a little plane. A little drone is going to fly right into him. They're very good at that.

Yeah. Sorry.

[Podcast Announcer]

Action Ride Shop bringing you guys the Wake up song with two locations, both in Mesa, right there at power Road and McDowell at the Brand new location there as well as the OG on Gilbert Road and Southern. Get all your snow gear right there at the OG and right now, 20% off all in stock mountain bikes. So if you've been thinking about that getting a Christmas present, doing one for yourself, Josh is going to hook you up. 20% off all in stock mountain or beach cruisers right now at action ride shop.

[John Holmberg]

Actionrideshop.com they actually probably do have to call Rafi. Rafi. It's not the same guy, but they probably have.

[Podcast Announcer]

Is JJ the king of beepers still.

[John Holmberg]

In business over there?

They don't like beepers anymore. That's what I'm saying. Massage, J.J. king of beepers. And the.

This.

On the list.

[Podcast Announcer]

Metallica, King Diamond, Van Halen, Embers Fall, Parkway Drive, all that Remains, Rob Zombies, new one, Smashing Pumpkins, Slayer, Danko Jones, latest one, Ministry, Just Stop Oil for those environmentalists. Soil and Jack White. That's how I'm feeling for the kid at the stadium.

[John Holmberg]

Jack White deserves a little props after that thing he did in Detroit on Thanksgiving.

[Podcast Announcer]

That was one of the songs there.

[John Holmberg]

That was a great half 30 me.

[Podcast Announcer]

I'm not even a Jack White fan.

[John Holmberg]

Really, man.

[Brady]

That was like no idea either. I just happened to.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Turn it on. At that time.

[John Holmberg]

Like man, you see the numbers for the Thanksgiving games. 53 million people watched the Cowboys game. I think 40 some million watched the the earlier game, the Lions and they played the Packers.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then 26 million watched the Ravens and Bengals because the night game that, you know, everybody's kind of dispersing or fry bad, you're done. And east coast can drop off a little bit, but that's. I mean, big. 52 million people watching a game.

It's huge number. That's crazy. So pretty. Yeah, let's go in the Jack White and Eminem doing that thing in Detroit was like, this is a Super bowl show, Jack. This is awesome. Yeah, let's do a little Jack White. His guitar works pretty great. And while you're doing that, I got an email says, John, I'm catching up on the podcast for the morning and yesterday's show where you said you got pot, you got roofied. Podcasted. Got roofied. It says, you always know the phrase you can't rape the willing ran through my mind regard to your clear concern about this. You were roofied and no one raped you. That creeps thrive on fear. And maybe that's why they didn't see Scared as always. Thanks so much for dragging your ass to work on every day for us listeners. You enhance our lives in ways that you'll never truly comprehend. You hear that? You are vital. I think this person tried to roof you. Me. Now they're trying to talk me back into it. He's being not done yet. Such an intelligent and ridiculous funny wit. Yeah, you're a fine looking man too. You're fit. You seemingly have healthy skin. You're a good height. Don't sweat your Juno's. It's better than having a small button dick. Some women find the Juno sexy. I love you. Thank you, Janet. That's right. Don't sweat the Junos. That should be a T shirt.

[Podcast Announcer]

Well, she didn't call you a bald C word.

[John Holmberg]

She can't. Sexual harassment. Don't sweat the Junos.

That should be the title of my autobiography.

Don't Sweat the Junos. How to get through life with one of these and not hang yourself. Let's do it. That's How I'm Feeling is the one Jack White song. He loaded. That's what we're doing.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah, that's the one he opened with.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty great. And it came out last year. This album was pretty good. I'm not a Jack White fan either. Yeah, I listened to like all of his stuff once and like that was great. And I never go back to it.

[Podcast Announcer]

After watching. I started listening to him a little bit more after watching that halftime show.

[John Holmberg]

Like, he never puts out crap. And you listen like, that's great. And I never go back to it. This one. This is a great song. It's Jack White for a little thing. And what was it for? Why did we do it?

[Podcast Announcer]

The halftime. Oh, for the kid at the stadium.

[John Holmberg]

That's how I'm feeling. Get him, kid. This is for you. We're. We're big fan. Sometimes the Taliban has good ideas.

[Larry]

Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

You thought that was funny.

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[Ryan Hamilton]

What the hell is.

[Larry]

What's wrong with you?

[John Holmberg]

And before we get going with anything else, I want to say a quick thanks to Jeff Jr. And the gang over at Trajan. Wealth, Brady and I played in their charity golf tournament yesterday for Sojourner center mostly. And there's a lot of stuff they do pretty. It was really nice, actually. It was really fun. And Jeff's a good dude. Everybody over there at Trajan is pretty damn awesome. And they treated us really well and we got to hang out and do their afterparty and there's a pun contest. Really good. And they raised a lot of money. So it was a really nice thing and they did it. Right now, the reason I bring it up is to say thank you first. But secondly, we need to just.

This isn't going to come across well.

After my Taliban comments because I could see the headline, local DJ says Taliban has good ideas, then says women shouldn't be allowed on golf courses. It shouldn't be allowed on golf courses anymore. If you. You have to have some sort of test you have to pass to be on a golf course and get the advantage you get. Because if you're good at it, you get 100 yard head start. If you're bad at it, like the girl that was in front of Brady and I yesterday, she shouldn't be. And you know whose fault it was? The guys who put her on the foursome. You get a foursome together in a tournament, a best ball tournament, and you automatically pick a girl, not necessarily the one you like to hang out with or you want to have sex with, which is mostly the motivation of a man. I either like her, she's fun. You pick the one that's best at golf because she's getting a head start. And never once on a golf course have I heard a woman go, I'm hitting with the men's because we're even. They take that advantage every time. And I would too. But this girl yesterday in front of us was getting A lesson.

[Brady]

That's the problem.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's the guy.

[Brady]

It wasn't necessarily because of women on the golf course.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, it is.

[Brady]

A scramble is not.

A lesson time. They're long enough.

[John Holmberg]

You don't invite beginners to, to five hour events. You take beginners out for like 30 minutes on the range. And then maybe when nobody's out there in the summertime, you, you try to take them around the track once. Not on a December, beautiful December day, which you would, like, take practice swings or just flat miss the ball. And Brady and I are sitting at the tee box waiting for them to go. They're a hole and a half behind. And you. And you know what's different? If it was a dude, one of us would have said, what are you doing? Pick it up, pick it up. But it's a girl. So if we'd have screamed at her.

[Larry]

You guys, come on, back off. She's new.

[John Holmberg]

Like, you shouldn't have brought it. Those shouldn't be allowed out here on days like this. The guys behind us brought two girls and they're, they're climbing up our ass because they brought girls who can play. Never bring girls. And by the way, if she's not incredibly hot and you're trying to bang her, which was the case, she shouldn't be out there. None of us were like, well, she's not hot enough to even tolerate this. You have to have like a page sporanic beginner.

Standing out there swinging a miss. We'd have tolerated that all day. We'd have watched that all day. Brady and I were getting so upset and annoyed. Brady, let's go.

Pick it up.

[Brady]

She's not gonna swing another. Oh, she is.

[John Holmberg]

What? And then she walked to the cart and get a club and then run back and make a mistake. And every time she wanted to putt, she laid her putter down to make a line. It's like, oh. She learned that at golf school. Just hit it. It's a best ball. You're never gonna play your ball. Then she'd hit it like 18ft. And like the dude before you hit a 320 yard drive, you're not getting it out there. You've got a ball to play. Go play that one. I just want to practice. No. So I'm lodging a formal complaint against the girl that played in front of us in this charity event. And I think there should be a, A rule that unless one of the guys in the foursome, like, what would have been the guy in the foursome in front of us? One of them comes up and goes, hey, I know it's going to take all day, but my buddy Scott hasn't gotten laid in two years. And he brought the new secretary and she's terrible, but I think he's gonna nail her. And I'm like, if he doesn't nail her, you guys owe us money. But if he does, we'll tolerate it. It just. It was awful to watch.

[Brady]

Fine. Cindy can swing. Okay, that's good. Pick it up. Let's go, let's go.

[John Holmberg]

Pick it up, pick it up.

Brutal. You're already gonna be out there for four hours. They added an hour to the day at the very least. Some of it was entertaining. But after 16 holes, watching her take the back swing and stop and then look at the guy in the car go like this. No.

It'S nothing like that. I don't even know if you've seen golf. Do you know what you're doing? Like rented back like this. No. And then she'd drop her hands like baseball this. No. And then the dude that's trying to nail her gets out of the car. Just pick it up. You already hit a 300 yard drive. Go. You're playing best ball. Oh, exactly. We needed Toledo at that moment to walk up and go, just tap on his hand. Time. She's taken four practice swings and then missed the ball. The practice isn't working. She needs. She needs a day in the lab. Not. She shouldn't be on the field.

[Brady]

The scramble is you take the best drive. That's not gonna be the best drive.

[John Holmberg]

No, she's never gonna have the best ball ever.

Can I. I just wanna practice putting, then practice on the putting range. There's a practice green. It'.

No practice in front of me. It's like. It's like somebody who's never driven before and you just give them keys by themselves. Okay, here's the freeway. What do you do? The skinny one on the right makes it go have fun.

But otherwise, what a great tournament. It was, it was just when you let women out there.

[Brady]

Fun day, Great day.

[John Holmberg]

Fun day. But when you let. And beginner men wouldn't go. A beginner man would not go. Like, I've never played golf. We'd really like to have you out there. Like, I'm not going. I'll make a mess of it.

[Brady]

I'll putt.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Where do you get the ignorance, arrogance and craziness to actually go? Sure. I'll do something I've never done before because she's trying to bang that same guy. He's just get it over with. Go have sex in the bathroom. This golf thing was a charade.

[Brady]

Maybe she owned the company.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God, if she did. No, no. Nobody who owns a company's that bad at golf. You have to be a little bit. You have to. You have to. You have to have at least seen it like this. No, the handles on the other end. I'm holding the fat side. Oh, my God. Have you seen. Do you have a tv?

You have the Internet? Like, you could have looked like, what do I. How to. How to golf. Awful.

[Brady]

And how many times would I hear Brett say broad, bro?

[John Holmberg]

This broad. Oh, we were saying, oh, this broadcast. But you can't yell at them. They want equal treatment. But if you started yelling at her, she'd start crying. Dudes won't cry. Hey, jackass, let's go.

[Podcast Announcer]

Brady wasn't yelling at him. I know you say he on the golf course. Start screaming at people.

[John Holmberg]

Dudes. We all have done that. Guys, you're a hole and a half behind. Come on, let's go. Pick it up. And then you get new and brand new. Right? We know. We've seen you. You're horrible. We're bad at it, and we're catching you.

[Podcast Announcer]

Go back to golf land. Miniature golf is your game.

[John Holmberg]

It's not like Brady and I are like, you know, ice pop strokes down the road. I will say we hit the ball pretty well yesterday, so we were on a good pace, but Jesus Christ, this lady. We were catching him constantly. We're not good enough to be up your ass. Unless.

But it was an awesome tournament and course is in incredible shape. They did a great thing. Beautiful. Raised a lot of money. So you kind of give. You kind of forgive it a little. But I'm. I'm on the cusp of not being very forgiving of that. That if you say, hey, you want to be in our golf tournament?

And you. And by the way, what were the guys thinking? Let's bring the worst woman golfer we know and just wreck it for everybody. Because that's what you did. Who's the worst golfer in here? Female.

[Brady]

Me.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know what it is.

[Brady]

Golf.

[John Holmberg]

What's that? You're. You're. You're. Go buy a skirt. You're going to.

And they took her with. And that's their fault.

[Brady]

That's how they got her. You can buy new clothes.

[John Holmberg]

Go buy new clothes. I'll buy them for you. Oh, my God.

She didn't even have clubs. She bought. She rented clubs from the. Come on. I really want to be part of this. Why?

Why?

[Podcast Announcer]

And it wasn't Margot Robbie out there.

[John Holmberg]

You have to be that hot to be that bad at something and have me tolerate it. It like if a hot girl's trying to cook for the first time and lights the kitchen on fire, you're still like, you're a great.

[Brady]

It's okay.

[John Holmberg]

It's okay.

[Podcast Announcer]

Need a new cabinets. Anyway.

[John Holmberg]

If an ugly girl tries to cook and be honest. Time for an upgrade. You know what? You just kind of jump started the whole remod.

But if she's ugly and she burns your kitchen down, you're in a courtroom in a few. And she's paying for this. Is going to pay for this. And then you're in a stadium and has llama bot throwing rocks. Anyway, thank you to Jeff Jr. And the folks at Trajan. It was awesome. And we got a good deal of entertainment on it. Brady wanted to pass them go, let's just drive by and skip ahead. I'm like, no, you're not wrong. But let's just see. Let's see if they ever get it. And they didn't. They. They remained oblivious for 18 holes. And there was nothing better than hearing Brady's frustration when she'd go from the cart to the green. It was probably a 70 or 80 yard walk sometimes and forget her putter. And then you'd see her like do girl. Jog back to the like, you don't need to putt. You're not gonna. And then she'd get her putter and she'd run back and they had already as a team hit the putt in. And then she'd put it down and line her club and like you don't even need to go. Your team already scored its points.

[Brady]

I still want to.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Hannah.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta tell I forgot my club. If you forget your club at all ever on the golf course. Sit it out for three holes. You have to sit up for that. Should be a rule. I walked up to the ball and guess what? I forgot the stuff to golf with. Okay. You got to sit down for three holes.

I didn't bring a stick. Does anybody. I totally forgot. We need sticks for this.

Idiot otherwise. But I'd do it again today because it was fun. I really enjoyed it. Just some rules, a couple basics. I'm gonna get you all that. Tall man has good ideas. And women shouldn't be allowed on golf courses. I'm going a direction.

Cutting check after check. I got carpal tunnel at 7:59. It's time for Brady to Give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. And it's brought to you by allprochades.com if you want to get your shady life together and you want to do it right, you want to make your house look pretty and beautiful. We saw a couple on Camelback Country Club, those beautiful awnings that were coming off a couple of these houses. My God, it.

[Larry]

It does.

[John Holmberg]

It's attractive. You can add a lot of value to your house with these things. And it's not that crazy expensive. It's actually really good. Head on over there to all prochade.com you get a motorized shade right now. They'll throw in a heater for those cooler evenings. You want to sit on the beautiful, beautiful patio that you've built. With allprochade.com Brady reporting.

[Brady]

Good Thursday morning to Phoenix. Hello, world. Happy National Cookie Day.

I'm sure there's some deals out there.

[John Holmberg]

Cookie deals.

[Brady]

You don't know any. There might be. How about some crumble? You gotta have the apple.

I think.

At Jimmy John's, if you have the app, they'll give you the. Their Christmas cookie there. And Subway have foot long cookies. Now hold on. I don't know if they still have.

[John Holmberg]

Them or not, but I remember you go into. You have a Jimmy John's app.

[Brady]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, but you saw. I thought you were just giving us that knowledge off the top of your noggin there.

I was impressed.

[Brady]

Couple of baseless fun facts. Adding bubbles to your bath keeps the water warm for a longer period of time.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, man.

[Brady]

When you do your Monday night bubble bath.

[John Holmberg]

No, I know the bubbles you're talking about. You're a child.

[Brady]

You're talking.

[John Holmberg]

Jacuzzi.

Stays warmer longer now I threw some heat.

[Brady]

You can't. You can't touch this. Sorry, John. A golf charity event with an after party.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady]

KBD and Tripp should really look into something like that.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, it's back. Stop it.

[Podcast Announcer]

Legally.

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Brady]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

I'm doing a. I'm doing an illegal rogue golf tournament next year. Like it or not, I'll pay for it. But guess what? Nobody here is going to make any money off of it. It'll be all mine. And the second I hear, well, we can't do it, I'm like, well, then I'll take the money and we'll give it to charity and I'll write it off.

[Brady]

You can't touch. This is the only MC Hammer. It's his fifth highest charting song.

[John Holmberg]

Can't touch. This is hammers number five peaked at number eight. Too legit. Was huge.

[Brady]

I think was higher too.

[John Holmberg]

I pray. Couldn't have gotten higher. No, prey was higher than.

[Podcast Announcer]

Don't tell me. The Adam's groove.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no.

[Brady]

Bingo. Brad.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. Are you sure?

[Brady]

Was the shylights cover.

[Podcast Announcer]

Oh, have you seen her?

[Brady]

Yeah, have you seen her?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, tell me have you seen her?

That all was bigger than hammer time.

[Brady]

Yeah, you can't touch this.

[John Holmberg]

Or you can. Yeah, the hammer time. Can't touch this.

[Podcast Announcer]

Well, that was his first big hit. Then everything else. Everybody said, oh, well, it's got to be good.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna like that. Too legit. Too legit to quit. Hey, hey. I'm doing the finger thing. And having snoop on a stoop is the same as having, like hammer on the wall. Hammer on the.

[Brady]

He peaked when he was floating down in those pants in the taco bell. Commerce.

[John Holmberg]

You put him in a little cage. Hammer, hammer in the slammer. And you put them up on your.

Oops, sorry.

[Brady]

When. When Sega was marketing sonic the Hedgehog 2 in 1992.

[John Holmberg]

Love it.

[Brady]

They decided to build the hype by releasing it on a Tuesday.

And that set the standard for the hot release.

[John Holmberg]

When it all happened on Tuesday, which now they've released date. Moved it around a lot. It used to be Tuesday. Release dates were the big thing. That couldn't have been right.

[Brady]

That's what they're saying. 1992. It stuck for how many decades afterwards? Now they. Now they rotate around.

[John Holmberg]

When did they do it before? Because I remember going to tower records when it was always Tuesday at midnight. I remember.

[Ryan Hamilton]

That.

[John Holmberg]

Huge. Yeah, huh?

[Brady]

I got a quick wild America.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. One day I don't load it up. All right. And go.

[Brady]

Hello, my friends. Brady bogan here with your wild america. This man in Georgia recently came across an injured raccoon on the side of the road. Decided to.

Give the animal a lift to a nature center. So he wrapped the raccoon up in his coat, held it against his chest, and drove over an hour. It's unclear if the guy was just a huge animal lover or the raccoon looked cute. Either way, it was wild.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Not good to drive around with him next to your chest. Are you listening?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This is.

[Brady]

This is why I'm doing the story close to you. Raccoon bit the man in his face and hands. So he decided to give it a little more space. Managed to wrap it in the blanket and put some duct tape around it.

[John Holmberg]

Killed it. He killed it. He killed the race.

[Brady]

Once he got to the nature center. The staff put the raccoon in a kennel and then send it to a vet. They forcefully insisted the bloody man go to the hospital. He finally agreed. Turns out the raccoon had rabies and was immediately euthanized. So the man went through all that trouble for nothing. The nature center said that while the guy's heart was in the right place.

You should never do what he did. No, especially picking up the animal, keeping it close to your chest. You hear yourself laughing, right?

[John Holmberg]

It wanted to hear mama's heartbeat. I read this on the interwebs once. They get cozy when they think they're in the womb again.

[Brady]

It calms him.

[John Holmberg]

Do you think people say that all the time? It's like he likes it because in the womb, he used to listen to his mama's heartbeat and they say that stupid stuff. Do you remember ever being in the womb? They don't either. It calms him. He thinks I'm his mama. You're dumber than him.

[Brady]

They also wanted to let people know that they're licensed. They're not licensed for raccoon rehabilitation. They only accept raptors, reptiles, and amphibians.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, there is a license for raccoon rehab? Yeah, I'm looking into that. Was that 85 bucks? You know what raccoon rehab is? Put it up by the trash. He'll be fine.

[Brady]

They're pretty hardy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You put him in a dumpster and he's like, thanks. I'm back to being a raccoon again.

[Brady]

That's your wild America.

[Larry]

John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

We had a close call in the food world here in Arizona. Over 250,000 cases of shredded cheese were recalled, but our state wasn't one of them.

[John Holmberg]

Cool.

[Brady]

But most stores in California and New Mexico at the targets, Aldi's and Walmarts.

[John Holmberg]

Had to pull the Mozik. Why?

[Brady]

There's shards of metal.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, all right.

[Brady]

That's a good. They believed in some of the packets of the shredded cheese, so. Not taking any chances. Yank them all. Want to be judgmental, but would you ever throw out cheese?

[John Holmberg]

The Great Lakes Cheese Co. That was metal in it.

[Brady]

I would sift through.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I got some. It's like pan for gold. Hey, would you look at that?

[Brady]

I just wave over with a magnet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, put a magnet over your cheese.

I can take this to a shop and get some money for it. There's a lot of metal in there.

[Brady]

Got a door dash driver. That's in trouble. He was delivering some chicken wings and one of the wings fell out. He picked it up off the sidewalk on the front doorstep and put it back in the package and then licked his fingers.

[John Holmberg]

Let me tell you this. First and foremost, all lies. It didn't just fall out. He had that opened on the way over, and he was dipping his fingers in the juice and sucking on the juice, and he forgot to close it, and that's why it fell out.

[Brady]

All right, one more.

[John Holmberg]

It's Florida. They haven't figured out the staple tape game. If a doordash driver drops your food off without staples and tape, don't eat it. He's been in there more than tape.

[Brady]

It's got to be a sticker from.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's the thing. The tapes. The sticker tapes that's got the. Yeah, like, ingot. Two of them. And then.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

That way they can't even, like, dip their little dirty doordash fingers in and get a fry.

I feel. I feel so bad for the doordash drivers because you know how hard it is when you've got McDonald's in your car and you've got it sitting in the passenger seat and you tell yourself, not going to eat any of that till I get home. First red light. All right, one. I'll just have one. You can't smell those fries. You can't smell KFC in your car without at least touching it and licking your fingers. You have to. So you have to staple that closed and you have to tape it up. If a doordash driver drops stuff off and it isn't stapled and taped.

Do not eat it.

[Brady]

Don't use my name. Well, I can't. I only have your phone number.

[John Holmberg]

We'll do that.

[Brady]

Says, John. I was like you. I was really good at opening Christmas packages. I can open up my Uber.

[John Holmberg]

You cannot. And it would take you 45 minutes to get it. All right? You'd have to have a steamer. How hungry are you? Just go buy your own goddamn food. Why are you eating my food?

[Brady]

You're already there.

[John Holmberg]

Pick up an extra pack of fries. You went out and bought a steamer and a different staple gun, and you're taking the time to hit the holes the same.

Come on, just. Yeah, grab some. Grab an extra thing of fries while you're at the mc. Pop in some for me. And you know what? That should be something on doordash. It say, would you like to buy the driver some fries? If the driver has requested fries. Okay. Take it off the tip and get yourself Some fries.

[Brady]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Fry tip. Or, you know, bag food for the driver to dig his hands in so he leaves your stuff alone. I couldn't do it. I couldn't be a doordash driver. I need all the food. It would be too hard.

[Brady]

There's some folks in Philly that are a little upset in their neighborhoods because now people that are parking illegally are finding an apparatus on their car called barnacles. They seal your windshield. They put this block on your windshield. It likes, like, suction cups onto it. You can't remove it, so you can't drive your car off.

[John Holmberg]

It's completely blocked. I could hang out the window. I'll show.

[Brady]

There's a picture of the barnacle. Oh, oh, Ace Ventura with your head. So it takes up about three quarters of the windshield.

And it's a hundred bucks to get it released.

[John Holmberg]

Ain't that a.

[Podcast Announcer]

Watch this hanging out the side window.

[John Holmberg]

Stick my little eyes out of there. Like driving a. You like?

[Brady]

Yeah. There's one way. Is removing the windshield all together.

[John Holmberg]

People will do it.

[Larry]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I got one of those. Those bike lock boots. You got one of those yet? It's. And you don't even. You can hardly see it, but I got one. Like a mountain bike. Yeah. They take a bike lock and they shove it around all the way around your brakes and everything, and it locks up, and it's got this super sturdy lock on it, and they stick a sticker on the side of your car that says, you want us to take this? You want. You want the combination? Venmo me like 200. You're like, I gotta get out of here. So I did. And then in order to get like 50 bucks back, you got to bring back the lock. The lock was nice. I wanted to keep it. And now I know the combo, but it was like an extra 250 if you don't return the lock, and 50 off if you do. So they keep charging you because now they got your card and it's down there. Cityscape downtown. And I was like, you got to be kidding me. I parked in what I thought was the. The dude lied to me. Said anything that's black reserved, you can have red reserved. Don't. What he meant to say was anything that's black numbered. But if the word reserves on it, you know, a smarter man would say that just means don't park there. But he said black reserve was open. So I parked there, I left it, and I came back to a boot. But the new boots are nice. They're not Those big clunky things. If you try to drive it'll rip your brakes off. Pretty cool.

[Brady]

Got two stories about Faberge eggs this week that happened. One was one auction off this week for $30 million. The Russian jewelry house made it back in 1913.

The other one is a 32 year old guy in New Zealand walked into a jewelry store.

And he swallowed a Faberge egg.

[John Holmberg]

Aren't those big?

[Brady]

Well, this is a limited edition. It's the James Bond themed necklace called the Octopussy surprise locket. You remember that egg from the James Bond Octopussy?

[John Holmberg]

I remember, I remember that part well.

[Brady]

They'Ve made 50 of them and there's miniature size. But he was able to swallow it. He didn't get out the door. They arrested him by the time there. So now they're just waiting for him to pass the edge.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have to be that well trained to notice a guy eating the jewelry.

[Brady]

Thousand dollars.

Yeah, he slugged it in.

[John Holmberg]

What do they just got to laying out free or did they go, I'd like to see this one? And then.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it goes back to what I was saying about things you see on tv because that was in Octopussy. Wasn't. Didn't the guy eat it? He was eating jewels.

[Brady]

No, I think it was just he was hiding something in the egg. It was like either a one was a fake egg.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe there was one movie where a guy was eating the jewelry but there were little rings and diamonds and he was swallowing them and stuff.

[Podcast Announcer]

Well, the fake egg was Ocean's 12. Remember when they put that, put the.

[John Holmberg]

Phony egg where the real one was? Yeah, I remember one. Maybe it was like Blood diamond where they were eating the diamonds and then later they'd get them out of their poop.

[Brady]

That sounds like Blood diamond, but yeah.

[John Holmberg]

People will that kind of stuff. Maybe movies motivated somebody to do something dumb.

[Brady]

This guy thought he could swallow it and get out of there.

[John Holmberg]

I think of Faberge eggs is those big. The ones that look like they open them up. They got like a horse carriage in them.

[Brady]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The thing, this might just be candy actually.

[Brady]

And finally we got a family in Oklahoma. Their dog just earned a place in the Guinness world record for the longest tongue.

The previous record was 5.46 inches.

[John Holmberg]

Belonged to a hanging out.

[Brady]

Hanging out.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so it's the tongue part that's out because it goes down into your throat. So you're not measuring all the way down into the.

[Brady]

Yeah, so it's hanging out of the Mouth.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

And this was this dog in Bloomington, Illinois. But it was shattered by Ozzy, the French mastiff and bullmastiff mix.

7.83 inches long.

[John Holmberg]

Hanging out of his mouth.

[Brady]

Hanging out of his mouth.

[John Holmberg]

And it's just dry like a beef jerky stick.

[Brady]

I think you can pull up, you know. Yeah, I can't. Yeah, it's.

Some deliciousness hanging out there. So he's slab of baloney coming out of there.

[John Holmberg]

So he's Mr. The dog.

[Brady]

I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

I think you have. But I don't have a tongue like that. He's not passing many IQ tests.

[Brady]

Really strong.

[John Holmberg]

He's over at the daycare center. And all the other dogs are like, that. Dude doesn't get it. I think I swim blue next. Nothing with you, weirdo. I like jelly beans. We all like jelly beans. Or dogs.

[Brady]

Got a couple of radio videos. First one's a girl fight.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

All right. It's white girl fight. So it's slow.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

One just kind of did the splits and starts pounding the other one in the face.

[Brady]

Face.

[John Holmberg]

She's got her on the ground. Oh, boy. Did you look at these before? How did you not catch? It's the only words in it. She's got her again. Now the girl that was getting beat up has turned the tables. And then they go. There's a big girl went down. Big girl dropped hard. And then. Yeah, then she screams that thing at her. And then the other one gets up and says, we're not done yet. Kicks her in the stomach weekly. And then it's a double grounded pound right back. He tries to go back for more. Shouldn't have gotten up from that first knockout.

[Brady]

Next one, we got first shirts. A conch republic.

[John Holmberg]

I believe it does. Yep.

[Brady]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

She's kind of pretty, the one that's beating up the one with skills.

[Brady]

Quick video from the biker boys.

[John Holmberg]

Nope. We're down in a terrible island nation of somewhere where too many motorcycles exist. There, they're revving their motorcycles and lifting the back tires off the ground with their hands. One dude's making a lot of smoke out of this. Yeah. Oh, and he just lights his friend on fire. The exhaust. Oh, it just burst out of the muffler. Is that what's on a motorcycle? It just shot fire on his friend.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I don't know.

[Brady]

He's pouring on there like. Like, what happens if we put lighter fluid on there?

[John Holmberg]

Where are they? They're not afraid of fire at all. That's a rainforest. Where are these people? You don't want to know. What a dump.

They've all got motorcycles, every one of them.

And, like, Bad Bunny just showed up at the end. You see that? Yep.

All right. There's a guy getting lit on fire. Don't stand behind a motorcycle. A dude's revving and pouring.

[Brady]

This last was disgusting. It's a concert, okay? Woman is. You're sharing stuff with the audience.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You're gonna have to tell us what artist, what band this is, Brett.

[John Holmberg]

This guy's reaching down. He's a woman.

[Larry]

It's a woman.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's got her hand vagina. She pulled out her tampon.

[Brady]

And one happy fan walks away with one.

[John Holmberg]

But wait, no, wait. She's got more. She's got a rogue tamp. She looks like. Oh, she just whips it in the meat. World famous L7 move here in Phoenix. She did. That was. That one was like a piece of. Now the. What's that? A pie through a pizza? I'd rather get hit by a pizza than the first thing, though.

[Brady]

A bunch of them.

[John Holmberg]

She's got no pants on. Is that a. They've already seen this. All seven did it seven years ago, but not two. This chick's like a magician pulling out handkerchiefs. She's got two.

[Podcast Announcer]

We've seen stuff coming out of that. I mean, bowling pins and everything.

[John Holmberg]

And by the way, that's true. Female guar. Look at that second one is just like the first one should have done a lot of the damage. The second one absorbed a ton of blood. Nicole Brown Simpson's porch wasn't that bloody. That was bright red. And then. Why throw the pizzas at the pizza? Well, you've done enough. I don't know. Color me crazy, but if someone throws a tampon at me, I'm leaving.

[Brady]

And listeners sent this one to us. I think this is from this weekend happened.

[John Holmberg]

It is.

[Brady]

It's the guy that got.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is that the motorcycle thing? Yeah, that's a hit. By the way, they're saying that that was a narco hit. Oh, geez. Yeah, that was a hit on the guy in the motorcycle. One dude ran over another and then shot at him.

[Ryan Hamilton]

And then.

[John Holmberg]

And the guy crossed the dirt.

[Brady]

I heard they. That the guy hit the wrong person.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I. Yeah, they said that was a. That was all designed to happen. And then the dude.

[Brady]

Like it was planned. Evidently that guy was taking somebody out.

[John Holmberg]

It was it the. I don't like that was gang mentioned any. Yes, it was the T birds. T birds and the Pink Ladies. Sharks and The Sharks. That's right. The jets and the Sharks. And afterwards, a couple of guys are like, that's no good. You just hit my buddy. Because that's how gangs work. That's the gangs. I know. Those are the ones I'm comfortable with. Like, hey, we got a big fight over there with them, with the Mongols.

[Brady]

They're catching up with the Lizzies.

[Podcast Announcer]

The Mongols, Zuko and Crater Face raced in the reservoir. Later.

[John Holmberg]

We got a race. Everything's gonna fall apart for us.

[Brady]

Cool.

[John Holmberg]

Grease sliding in your burning. These gang members are tough. Look at them sing.

Did you just spin and dance? Yeah, we're in a gang fight.

Walk towards him. Snapping.

You're gonna get in trouble tonight.

[Brady]

Hit him with the car. They just finished up in the shop.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You want to race for pinks? Okay, let's do it.

I thought we were a gang. We are. We gotta sing songs to show them how tough we are. All right, Bert, here we go.

[Podcast Announcer]

All right, hang on. I was on a different screen here. Somebody just sent me something.

All right, this one will start out with. This is for Brady. They were surprised he didn't have this one yet.

[John Holmberg]

All right, here we go. Oh, this is an old talk show. That's Burt Parks singing. He's a Miss America. Oh, Jesus. He's singing Miss America. And then they cut to a very crippled woman who has got one leg. And it's nice. The other leg is prosthetic. She has no arm. Arms. She's in a thong somehow. She's got a nice ass, and I don't know how that happens without a right leg. You got to do some squats. She has huge fake breasts.

[Brady]

It's like what happened to Tara Hitchcock.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, that's Tara Hitchcock. There's a pretty substantial crowd there to watch this crippled thing. She looks like an At. At From Star Wars.

She's just two giant legs. And then her upper torso is kind of bending forward for balance.

[Brady]

I'll be looking out for her.

[John Holmberg]

And it was big boobs, no arms, and she's in a beauty contest. The nerve on that one. I'm gonna enter the contest. Oh, God. Really? I've been working out. You just breathing is working out.

[Podcast Announcer]

And there's one. Stay off your phones.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we're at a cafe. Guy crossing the street got his phone. Oh, and a car. Doesn't see him in drive. Oh, man.

[Brady]

She got.

[John Holmberg]

That was a girl. Yeah, she's crossing. She's filming. And oblivious to the fact, she's just walked herself right into traffic. Oh, my God. And the guy didn't even see her. To the point where he took off. Wow. Yeah. Put your phone down when you're crossing the street.

[Podcast Announcer]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

We've got a dominatrix here and a black tank top, huge boobs. She's tied to something. Oh, she's got her boobs tied off with ropes to the point where they're numbed and turned purple. She's cut off all the circulations to her breasts and they're pouring hot wax on them, I think. Thinks you can still feel that they're purple. They're so tied up with rope. Oh, there's a bunch of. You put a ton of needles in them, and now they're just pulling on the ropes and making them dance. Those things are gonna pop. Oh, my God.

[Podcast Announcer]

And we'll just.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Podcast Announcer]

Well, let's just end with hillbilly midgets.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. All right. That's a great phrase. Shire New Zealand. That's the beginning of. Well, that's the real shot from Lord of the Rings. Oh, God. Here's disgusting meth addict midgets having sex with each other in a foursome. Oh, and they're all just horrendously ugly.

The Wicked Witch was right. We gotta close this town down. Oh, Lord. Oh, that one on the left is not gonna make it much longer. That one's got a nice ass, though.

Very rarely see a midget with a flat ass.

[Brady]

That's your vase.

[John Holmberg]

They've always got a thick one. Wow. Oh, that one looks like that guy that sings that.

[Larry]

That.

[Podcast Announcer]

That Mungo or whatever that.

[John Holmberg]

Looks like him. Summertime. Yes. Was little Mongo Jerry.

[Ryan Hamilton]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

Look, it's. It's Lil Mungo. Jerry as a girl. A girl. Oh.

[Brady]

Looks like a tiny Andre the Giant.

[John Holmberg]

Andre the midget. Oh, my God. Oh, Lord. Midget foursome. Unattractive midget foursome. Great band name. I'd still rather be behind that foursome than the one we were behind yesterday in golf. At least those four knew what they were doing.

Oh, sorry, midgets, but that was gross. One at a time, please.

I can't see that many. See malformed human beings doing one thing at a time. Yeah, that does look just like Mungo. She looks. It's just like Mungo, Jerry. Same teeth and everything.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Wow.

[Brady]

Nailed it.

[John Holmberg]

That pigeon is Fungo Jerry. A shrinky dink Mungo Jerry. I like it. There you go. That is your Brady Report. I need a cleanser. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

You thought that was funny?

You were Laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[Larry]

What the hell is wrong with you?

[John Holmberg]

Don't be afraid.

[Larry]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

Ryan Hamilton is here. He's at the Tempe Improv. We just talking to Ryan off there, learning all about you. Yeah. And you're a guy from Idaho, Wyoming, Utah corner right there.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I'm from the Idaho state area.

[John Holmberg]

Right. The Idaho side. Was there a rivalry between Utah and Wyoming? Being that close, did you start to hate the people across the border?

[Ryan Hamilton]

There's a little rivalry between Idaho, Southern Idaho and Utah, I would say. Yeah. Yeah.

[Larry]

What's the. What's the boy?

[Ryan Hamilton]

Something like, it depends on where you are. Oh, it's always windy in Idaho, so they say. What do they say? Idaho blows and Utah sucks or something like that.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I can go with that.

[Larry]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But there's no, like. Because it seems like every time you draw a border, you hate the people on the other side of it. For sure.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's just human nature.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Human nature, right.

[John Holmberg]

It is.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So I just can't imagine Idaho and Utah being that angry at each other.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Well, yeah. I mean, there's not a lot of people in Wyoming, so we don't have a. You know. But for some reason, Idaho and Utah, they do that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They have a battle, and they're so the same.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's just. It's interchangeable people.

[Ryan Hamilton]

That's what I always say. It's like, have you been to. There. You've been to both of them?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I literally think you could, like, like, swap out people, and it would take a few days for the people in the house that you've swapped with to realize, oh, that's not the same guy that was here before.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody's smiling. You have a huge smile. You're kind of known for your gigantic smile. It's a very Idaho smile. Am I wrong?

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah, no, that's. I mean, I. What did I used to say? I feel like I could sell ice cream in the 50s. Yeah.

[Brady]

Good humor.

[John Holmberg]

It's very true. You'll be at the Tempe Improv tonight with ice cream and Friday and Saturday, if you want to go 10pmprev.com oddly enough. And I have a feeling it's from the commercials that run during the week saying you were here this weekend.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Go to Tempest. Somebody sent me a clip of you 2 or 3 days ago email of you handling a heckler about Warren Buffett.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I found it to be. You were great. Obviously, it was really funny. But the weird part was somebody Went there angry at Warren Buffett. Like, I couldn't help but think, the one guy driving to the club going, I hope he doesn't talk about Warren Buffett. Like, why would that trigger him?

[Ryan Hamilton]

I don't know. It was really interesting. I mean, at the end of the clip, you see that I ask him, did you lose money? Yeah, yeah, Lost some money. And so I think he was just upset that I was talking about money or something.

[John Holmberg]

But you hadn't even really gotten to the meat of the Warren Buffett part yet. You told me it was funny. And he's just like, that's enough. That guy's not cool. And it was about the fact you called Warren Buffett cool for being a billionaire.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And giving his money away and stuff. And I was more fascinated by everything. He's like, hecklers are getting weirder and more. They personalize. We get it on the radio all the time. I'll talk about something. Oh, do you? Oh, I get an email from somebody, oh, my sister got eaten by a raccoon. And I'm like, I don't even know what that means, but I have to be able to talk about that. It's rare. You're a unicorn. But now they're doing it in comedy clubs when it's personal, where it used to be just kind of yell at them for no reason.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Right. It's interesting. Like, you know, I think because of this kind of content that's out there, people are seeing comedy as a thing that they want to participate in maybe or something. It's very interesting. But I posted that clip because it was like, a true heckler. Yeah, it was a really angry guy.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't intend to be a heckler. Yeah.

[Ryan Hamilton]

He was triggered by something. He was angry. He wanted to make it known. And so that was like a true heckler, you know, not this kind of other thing. So it's like, that's kind of how comedy used to be, is you handle something come up and you handle it.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Ryan Hamilton]

And that's what this was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But, like, influence of the influencers have come on and tried to get the attention. So they heckle with intention. They show up going, I'm gonna do this.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it doesn't even really make sense.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

This dude heard Warren Buffett went, that's the last straw.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How dare he touch. And then he took a shot at you by saying. Which I found even more fascinating. I've never heard of you. He came to your show.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah. You know, it was at the Comedy Cellar in New York City. So it's a showcase show. There's a bunch of. Of comedians. Yeah. But it's like, I don't know. The thing that stayed with me is he was just so angry.

[John Holmberg]

He was furious.

[Ryan Hamilton]

He was really.

[John Holmberg]

And his friends are like, you just need to have a fun night.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And he ruined it, even for his friends. Like, this guy's a dick and he's. We can't change him. We can't change him. But I love that hecklers have kind of gotten to the point now. Have you ever had one where you're like, oh, tip of the cap, you win?

[Ryan Hamilton]

Sure. I mean, sometimes a heckler has a line where you're like, that's funny. You know, that's a funny line. Or they just, for whatever reason, they nail your insecurity. It's like they should. They read my mind.

[John Holmberg]

You ever reveal your insecurity?

[Ryan Hamilton]

It's like, whatever it is. In that moment, I remember a weird time that I was opening for someone not doing well, and I had just bought this new watch because I needed to know what time it was on stage. And it didn't fit me. And it was really huge and weird looking. And I just bought and I was doing really poorly. And the guy goes, nice watch. And I was like, how did you know that? That's what I was thinking about. It was crazy.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[Ryan Hamilton]

And in that moment, I was like, yeah, you got. I don't know. I like, yeah, you nailed the watch.

[John Holmberg]

Hurts.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I would have pointed that out myself, sir. Yeah.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Just such a weird thing.

[John Holmberg]

Did you ever wear the watch again?

[Ryan Hamilton]

I. I don't think so. It was a long time ago. I. I don't know what I did.

[John Holmberg]

Some of the best heckling is just the basic, like, yeah, yeah, like, nice teeth. Like, why is he going after, like.

[Larry]

What'S wrong with my.

[John Holmberg]

Right, like the quick, easy ones. But when they go after one of your. Your joke. The Warren Buffett things. Fascinated.

[Ryan Hamilton]

It was interesting because I was just.

[John Holmberg]

You can't like, let it go, you.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Know, I go, I think I was saying something like, Warren Buffett's such a cool guy. Because I was saying, you know, can you be rich and cool?

[John Holmberg]

And I think, rich and cool. Yeah.

[Ryan Hamilton]

You know, he's secure in his own person. And he's just like, how, how could you? He said what's cool about him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He thought it was a Q and A. He's just like, I've got a few questions for this guy. Yeah. I always find that amazing when people email me and they're like, that thing you said first off wasn't funny. Male domestic violence is. I'm like, what are we talking about? Last Tuesday, I'm like, oh, okay. Got a recap. When you got mad at me, everything.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Else was funny, but that thing wasn't funny to you specifically. It was funny to everyone else.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I had one guy that got mad at me. Remember the dude a couple years ago that was furious at me about something? And this was the best. And radio heckling is different because it's on time delay. So if you could imagine if you do a show like tonight and you're like, man, that went really well. And then you go home and you enjoy your day, and then in the morning, somebody calls you and goes, you're an idiot. And you're like, what happened? Like, what did you say that about Shaquille o'? Neal? I'm like, oh, my God. You showed up out of the blue.

[Brady]

Some of the stuff you can't even remember.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta. You gotta remind me why I pissed you off. But then he emailed me and he said, I don't know who you are. But I listened. And he goes, he was mad at me for something I wouldn't even be in political. And he said something about me being liberal. And he called me. He said, you're racist, and you do this and that. And I'm like, what did I do? And at the end. And he goes, to me, you just sound like a Howard Stern wannabe. And he said, and. But I saw your picture. So by the looks of it, you've got the lib cuck Jew nose to be like, oh, my God, I'm like, I'm racist. And you're okay closing up with that?

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So to follow up, a year later, he emailed me back and apologized. Said he was a drunk, he went to rehab, and he needed to make apology.

[Larry]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't accept it. I read his apology on the air and killed him.

[Larry]

Screw you.

[John Holmberg]

But that's. That was the ultimate. But it took me a year to have the. To have the fight back, because I could finally fight back. He gave me info to kill it right now. I destroyed him on the air the day. Emailed me about being a. What did he call me? A libtard Jew nosed Biden loving.

What?

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't understand why you even got that mad at me. He was furious.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Even if you're drunk, you really thought through that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And that was the other thing. I went. One of the things I said, it's like you were so drunk. But no misspellings. Your punctuation was perfect. Like, there was no, like, you know, just Hamilton in the middle of it. Like, what was that?

[Ryan Hamilton]

It seems like you were sober when you said this.

[John Holmberg]

You were pretty on it that night. Yeah, you. Seems like you might want to get back on the bottle because that's when you really made sense. But it's really, like, I find heckling so weird because you would never, like, do. And I'll email people back and I'm like, you're mad at me for something you heard that you didn't like. Do you. Do you talk to comedians when they're on a stage? Like, if someone tells a joke at a restaurant and you overhear it, you go to the table, go, all right.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah, Right.

[John Holmberg]

Why do they do it to you?

[Ryan Hamilton]

It's interesting. I don't know. Sometimes I think.

[Brady]

Feel compelled.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I want to have a discussion with you.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah, it's. It is fascinating. I. I don't know. It's.

[John Holmberg]

It's. It's rare, I guess, to have a real one.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because the other ones are just that you can walk over those.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah. And they just kind of want to participate or. Or they think they're helping the show.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes, you know, whatever you're talking about women. I know. I know which one. I know. I know her. I know. I know the girl you're actually talking about. She drives me nuts. Just stop it. Stop. You're not part of it. We didn't pay for you. We didn't pay to come see you. But. Yeah, so. But other than that. Well, tell us about you. Are you a married guy? You got 100 kids? You got.

[Ryan Hamilton]

No, no, I'm single. Never been married, no children. This is it for me.

[Podcast Announcer]

This is.

[Ryan Hamilton]

My whole thing is here at the 10pm Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

[Larry]

You are.

[John Holmberg]

Are solely focused on just this weekend.

[Ryan Hamilton]

That's my responsibility in life.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good thing. I'm gonna entertain people and dominate. And is the end goal to forever live in the biggest ranch in the world in Idaho, and be the most famous Idaho Nean?

[Ryan Hamilton]

Hey, that wouldn't be too bad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Who is it currently the most famous Idaho resident?

[Ryan Hamilton]

That's a good question.

[John Holmberg]

Like, who's the biggest guy that came out of Idaho that everybody in Idaho goes, I'm the next. That guy.

[Ryan Hamilton]

We. I don't know who. Who is the biggest. I've kid, I've been asked this question before and I should know, like, who it is. I don't. We had some Olympic athletes peekaboo street, back in the day.

[John Holmberg]

Skiers, probably some snow sports.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're kind of the Finland of the United States. You got hockey, probably.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yes.

[Podcast Announcer]

Aaron Paul, actually.

[John Holmberg]

Aaron Paul.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I had to Google it. Yeah. That's pretty good.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah. Aaron Paul's from Boise area, I think.

[Podcast Announcer]

If I remember right, Sarah Palin.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Ryan Hamilton]

She's from Idaho.

[Podcast Announcer]

That's what it says.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Okay.

[Larry]

You.

[John Holmberg]

Nice job. Yeah.

[Podcast Announcer]

So you can be standpoint.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, way up north.

[Ryan Hamilton]

That's way, way up.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know. Like, that's. That's recent. Like, no one in the. In the 200 year history of Idaho has popped. It's time, I guess. It's your turn right now. And it's yours. This is your time. Yeah, it's there. It's just on you. It's a. It's a big trophy glowing like a video game. Just grab it and take it.

[Ryan Hamilton]

No one will ever know unless I'm asked, ask who's the most famous person you remember that guy?

[Brady]

Love Warren Buffett. Remember him?

[John Holmberg]

That's it.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do you like Warren Buffett? I mean, just to keep going back.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I think he's cool. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I like billionaires.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah. I do. I. Here's what's interesting is like a year ago, billionaires were cool and now they're evil.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know, one lunatic shot a billionaire.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And. Or shot at a guy who runs a billion dollar company. And everybody's like, yeah. Like, when did we get mad at them? Isn't that all of our goals?

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It must be a tolerance on the number because there's more billionaires. So, like.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[Brady]

If you keep it under a certain amount.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We used to think it was radar. I think it's more insecurity. It's. Now we've seen it's attainable.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And. And now that we're sitting there struggling, it's like it's their fault. It's.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like, I. How did they do that? I'm. I. If someone said, here's a billion dollars, you'd take it.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I'll take it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I know people who say they'd turn that down.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Well, there is a lot of responsibility that comes with money. But, you know, it's hard to say no to a billion dollars, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

But can't you hire people to take care of those responsibilities? That's the point of being a billionaire.

[Ryan Hamilton]

But, yeah, I guess it's scary. It could. Maybe it could ruin people.

[John Holmberg]

But I feel like those are weak people, Ryan.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I feel like, you know, There was a time in society when we went, million, billion. They're like, we don't know. And now we go. It's a lot.

[John Holmberg]

It's a lot. I've never heard a billionaire on TV going around. It's ruining me. Have you ever seen a millionaires, they worked for.

[Ryan Hamilton]

They wanted it, you know, but you hear those stories about people who win the lottery or whatever.

[John Holmberg]

See, I. I fight with people on that all the time.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's for people like us who haven't won the lottery. We want to hear that story.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because then we're like, well, good, I'm glad I didn't win.

[Ryan Hamilton]

That's true. Yeah, that's true.

[John Holmberg]

It's all our insecurities, if you want.

[Brady]

They're above the ground.

[John Holmberg]

Pool. Yeah.

Never once seen somebody collect the big check from the lottery going, it's probably going to screw up everything.

Here. I'm going to give this back.

[Ryan Hamilton]

This is why I like Warren Buffett, though, because, you know, you can be rich and cool, but you can't buy cool. You know what I mean? Warren Buffett got all the money, and then he was like, I'm just going to live my life. And I.

[John Holmberg]

That's cool.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Ryan Hamilton]

He didn't even leave Omaha. You know, he's cool.

[Larry]

He's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's stuck around a dump.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah. He's so secure in his person, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, he likes himself so much. He's like, I can make this work. I can make a billion dollars.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And think of how far it stretches in Omaha. I know, like, most people go to Dubai and, like, start seeing the dent in their checking account. Not him.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah, he's retiring this year. You know, he's just.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's just going to step away from it.

[Ryan Hamilton]

He finally saved up enough, you know.

[Podcast Announcer]

Just coast, made some smart investments.

[John Holmberg]

Do you think he ever said to himself, but would I do if I retired? Like, people say that. Yeah, I don't know what I would do. I don't know. Anything you want.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Anything you want. But he's pretty reasonable, what he wants to do.

[John Holmberg]

What would you do if you weren't a comedian, Ryan?

[Ryan Hamilton]

It's a hard. It's a hard question because I asked myself that and I go, I think I'm doing the thing I want to do. But I don't know, maybe real estate.

[John Holmberg]

I'm interested in real estate. Well, that's the natural progression.

[Brady]

You'd be great at showing homes.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I got the head shot already.

[John Holmberg]

You're ready.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I got the head shot. I got some fake Pays for it.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I want to buy a house for you right now.

[Ryan Hamilton]

In fact, I got an open house.

Sunday afternoon.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it's not a bad idea, is to get like multiple real estate licenses in different states. And each state you're performing in, you try to sell a house.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Like, double dip speed.

[Brady]

So.

[John Holmberg]

Because I know you're not doing anything all day. No, I. Comedians sleep most of the time till noon.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You seem like a go getter. You're probably up around 9.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Let's do it right.

[John Holmberg]

You get out there, you throw one open house together and try to sell a house.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I love it. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you just, you know.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Very gleefully. Either you do or you don't. And then you leave.

[Ryan Hamilton]

That's it.

[John Holmberg]

I like this.

[Ryan Hamilton]

It's not bad.

[John Holmberg]

Sort of like a traveling serial killer of home sales.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Serial killer.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's what I think they would do. That's kind of a thing I'd see on Dateline if she was just a real estate agent. But truth of the matter was.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Gotcha.

[Larry]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

That's kind of a thing. I like that idea. So real estate would have been.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I don't know. I'm interested in it. You know, I spend a lot of time just perusing. Every place I go, I go. What was interesting? What's it like to buy a house?

It's like, I feel like a lot of people do that, but what's the medium?

[Brady]

You like the spot? You're like, I wonder what a house costs here.

[John Holmberg]

The. Yeah, the better. The way I always try to answer that because I. I'm useless outside of talking into this stick.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And then like, I don't know, like, if I kind of thought of this myself, if the apocalypse. The apocalypse came, what would you do?

[Ryan Hamilton]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

There'd be no need for you as a comedian. I know being funny would be annoying, Right? Well, if everybody's a zombie.

[Ryan Hamilton]

But there's always been a need.

[Podcast Announcer]

Sure.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Something.

[John Holmberg]

But I bet you back during the play, you joking around would have been kind of like, I'm gonna kiss.

Jesters were just this prick. He has no idea what I'm going. They even talk about hacklers.

[Ryan Hamilton]

It's just, you know, it's just a survival mechanism because you don't have anything left. So when your back's against the wall.

[John Holmberg]

So you still think you would do stand up in the event of the end of the world, you wouldn't have any handy skills.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Well, it's interesting. I think that's why we become standups and why maybe you Guys do what you do.

[Brady]

You deal with the drama.

[Ryan Hamilton]

You've learned how to deal with stuff over. And that's.

[John Holmberg]

I suppose that's true.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

But would I just set up a thing and tell people, like, traffic if the world was coming in, boy, there's a backup over there. And those cars have been stopped for months now.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know what you do.

[Larry]

You see that?

[John Holmberg]

And we try to make jokes about, like, news of the weird. Like, it's pretty much all of it. But, yeah, I don't have any skills outside of just.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I mean, I think that's kind of how we're orphaned into this stuff. When you do it, it's like you end up there because you can't do anything else.

[John Holmberg]

End of the world. I think I'd be dead in two days.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah. I don't think I'd last.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't. I'm not a fighter. I can fight. Like, I'll fist fight if you want to go take my stuff. But when it comes to, like, the whole place is on fire, you're out. Yeah, I'm not going to make it if I have to fight for food. I don't sit in line at Dutch Brothers. I'm not going to fight for food.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah, well, yeah, you know, I mean, I'm probably right there, too. I don't think anybody's like, you know, when I'm picked for teams in school, I was never the first guy.

[John Holmberg]

You're tall, though. Though.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I'm tall, but, you know, people know.

[John Holmberg]

Just in Idaho. I'd have picked you for basketball right off. Maybe you would have disappointed me, but.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I went to a very small school. I couldn't even make the basketball, really. I was from one of those schools where if you don't make the cut, it's like you're bad. It's like, we need people. We need people.

[John Holmberg]

If they're even cutting.

[Ryan Hamilton]

We're really desperate. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You weren't going to cut anyone.

[Larry]

But Ryan's horrible.

[Brady]

He's going to start some kind of club.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I've said it before. I mean, and when it comes down to that kind of, like, apocalyptic nature, nature of things, I would join whoever's winning. If Al Qaeda started to win, I think I'd just put a hat on and join.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Just survive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I just. I don't care if bees took over. I'd put on a.

[Ryan Hamilton]

You're not.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'd wear it. I have no ability to, like, go. Listen to me. I've got the Skills to get it. Like I can't build a little house or I don't know how plumbing works. I have no idea what I do.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Well, I. I bet you'd be surprised if I.

[John Holmberg]

Trust me, I drill holes in walls to hang pictures. And there's a hole in the wall. Wall. There's. There's no picture. There's just. I'm terrible at everything, but I build.

[Brady]

A house, but might not last too long.

[John Holmberg]

But for example, I currently have a scissor lift stuck in my backyard because I. We tried to drive it through the grass and it's too heavy. And you still haven't got that out? No, I got. I got to hire a guy. You.

[Ryan Hamilton]

You made a mess and you got to hire a guy to get out of the mess.

[John Holmberg]

I made a mess trying to be handy. And there is a 3,500 pound scissor lift stuck in my grass ass going neither direction.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I don't even know what a scissor lift is. So that's where I'm at.

[John Holmberg]

We're not gonna make it. Ryan, do what you do best tonight at the improv before the apocalypse comes. Tonight, tomorrow, and Saturday. If you Want to go tempimprov.com Ryan, leave us with words of wisdom.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Words of wisdom. You know, do what you want to do. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

What if. What if that's rape?

[Ryan Hamilton]

If it's comedy, do that. If it's rape, Maybe take. No. Take a. Don't you. Not anything.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, okay. Don't do what you. Don't do what you think is right. Yeah, but again, you're dancing a fine line with some brains.

[Ryan Hamilton]

I got an open house Sunday at noon.

[John Holmberg]

Support your local real estate. Ryan Hamilton. Pleasure, sir. Ryan Hamilton, everybody. It's 98, KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

Can you repeat it? You thought that was funny?

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[Larry]

What the hell is wrong with you?

[John Holmberg]

There you go. We just sold two tickets to Ryan Hamilton, and Dale Hellistray is going to take those tickets. I think. I think he's got. Well, sold. We'll get you. Don't worry about that. Please. How many times? How many times? You guys aren't on that thread. Are you the. The Dale thread of bugging Toledo for tickets? No. Oh, I. I am.

[Larry]

I'm on the thread of. Can we win a damn bet around this place?

[John Holmberg]

We did one week ago. We missed one week 14. All right, that's enough.

[Larry]

We're in week 14. Just go with the cowboys Everybody pick Cowboys.

[John Holmberg]

There we go. Man, are you people intolerant?

[Larry]

Did you see how many people watched the Cowboys game last week? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If we talked about this morning. 50. Some million, right? 53. Oh, 57. That's right.

[Larry]

0.3 million knuckleheads. And then everybody got an argument. Oh, that's because of the Chiefs.

[John Holmberg]

It was Thanksgiving. It didn't hurt the Chiefs and Cowboys.

[Larry]

Obviously it didn't hurt, but that's great. 57 million.

[John Holmberg]

And on top of that, what was it? 40 million for the early game.

[Larry]

Yeah. I mean it's crazy. And you wonder why the NFL just won't go away.

[John Holmberg]

It's a bigger part of the tradition than the food.

[Larry]

Yeah. People are changing the food.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Condiments, but they're not changing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Stuff moving.

[Brady]

That's what they talk about during the game too.

[John Holmberg]

There's the food. Yeah, they do they make you hungry the whole time. They keep showing in that weird Uber.

[Larry]

Well, that Ubereats thing to where the.

[John Holmberg]

Commercials are so true that everything is selling food. I love that Dale Hell is here, three time world champion with your Dallas Cowboys and he's helping us out talking sports for the week. Brought to you by our friends at diamond coatings. Diamond coatings AZ.com if you want to go there and get your floors taken care of that thing just go to their website and look what they did to the guys at all pro Shade the floor that they put in their new facility quality. Oh my Lord.

[Podcast Announcer]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

If you had that in your garage, your house would be. You could have a dump and that floor in the garage would make your house worth a hundred thousand more. It's amazing how pretty that is. So check them out. Diamond coatings AZ.com they'll do like anything. I. I have faded countertops. Sun faded in my backyard on a part of the house. And they're gonna. And they had a plan for me before I even knew they could do it. So they'll look around and find stuff for you. Plus you know, they'll paint your house if you want to. They got all sorts of stuff. Diamond coatings AZ.com that's where you go. Let's talk to Dale about something that's bugging me now. You might heard me talk about earlier in the week. Chris Paul. Obviously the release from the Clippers. Right. It's a weird thing. He was released at like three in the morning or whatever. The guy flew out to do it and then they. It was weird the whole thing. Legendary player. Maybe one of the. If not the Best point guard, arguably top three of all time. He got Stockton, Magic Johnson, technically a point guard. All that stuff applies. Point God they call him, for crying out loud. The Suns had him for three years, right?

[Larry]

Three easy. Three or four. Three or four, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Either way.

[Larry]

Yeah. Went to the finals.

[John Holmberg]

Year one, they go to the finals. Covid year, kind of a strange year. Not the bubble year, but the year after. So it was an odd setup. Not saying that it was any. It was diminished by that at all. But there they were in the finals. Every team they played to get there had an injury. Then the next year they go back win 60 something games with Chris Paul and just get drubbed out of the playoffs. And in that last series Chris Paul scored 24, 9, 11 and 17 point something in that area. The stats weren't good for him right. In the Dallas games where they got blasted. And then the next year same thing happened again and then he's gone.

Phoenix sports tends to hoist up guys just on name and rather than what they did for the team. Do you think Chris Paul goes into the Suns Right. Ring of honor?

[Larry]

No, he wasn't here long enough.

[John Holmberg]

Charles Barkley was here the exact same time.

[Larry]

No, Charles was here at least five years.

[John Holmberg]

Four years.

[Larry]

Well, I, I will tell you this, I will agree with you the fact that when, when the Valley. As I've said, no Valley can't have good things. So when you get a good thing for a little bit, sometimes you'll overreact to that totally. Because that, that was a fun time to be the Sons.

[John Holmberg]

Brought him back. Yes, brought them back. I still have season tickets because of that team.

[Larry]

Yes. And that's why I've always about the Steve Nash sons door. They always somehow some way get tripped up against the spurs for five, six, seven months of the year. It was a blast to be a Suns game, a Suns fan. And then something would happen at the end. Yeah, inevitably bad. But we're kind of like the, we're kind of like the Buffalo Bills of, of NBA. And I don't even want to talk about the football team yet.

[John Holmberg]

But yeah, not like they're not like the Bills and they're, they're their own animal down there in Glendale.

[Larry]

But what's so fascinating to me is we had a coach here who did that. Monty. Oh, Monty decided not to talk to DeAndre. There's 15 dudes in the locker room. There's not 53. Yeah, 60, 65 in, in the NFL. You got practice squad guys. There's 15 guys.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

On a How do you not talk to the guy?

[John Holmberg]

And Monty Williams didn't talk to one of the players for, like two months. You're dodging him on purpose at that.

[Larry]

Point, and you can't help but run it. It's like you. You could hate Brett, but you're going to run into him.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes you can dodge people. But if I'm intentionally trying not to talk to Brett, it's going to take work. And that's what you're talking about with Monty Williams doing it here. The dude in the Clippers, Ty Lu, was doing it to Chris Paul. Paul now hard to dodge him and play him.

[Larry]

Now. The thing about Chris Paul is.

Everywhere he's been, there have been, you know, murmurs about him pushing, pushing, pushing. And he did it here in the Suns and got them to a championship series.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

And 60 wins and.

But now, this is what's fascinating to me is as you get older and all of a sudden you're playing three, four, five minutes a game, you can't be that same guy.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Larry]

As when you were playing 35.

[John Holmberg]

You can't lip off and start being mouthy about who's doing what.

[Larry]

You can't go to Holmberg and go home. Bird, what the hell are you doing, man? We're need. Hey, Kawhi.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

We need you to play.

[John Holmberg]

You're giving me two minutes a night.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you're a player.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm with you on that.

[Larry]

Fascinating.

[John Holmberg]

What's your criteria for the Ring of Honor? If you were in charge of it, why is Chris Paul not in and Charles?

[Larry]

I thought Charles was here about five years.

[John Holmberg]

Even if he won 92 to 96. I looked it up.

[Podcast Announcer]

So four years.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

And got traded in the middle of the 96.

[Larry]

You know, if you look at it. It objectively and you. You just, you know, do one of those blind things. Yeah. The careers while they're here with Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Obviously, Charles scored more, but he was.

[John Holmberg]

The MVP one year. Yeah.

[Larry]

And they just gave it to him.

[John Holmberg]

Because Michael Jordan was the mvp. We all know that. Hakeem Ola was second. He never got attention, but it was in the mix of Malone, Jordan, Olajuwon, Barkley, and always like a. A guy they just gave it to because.

[Larry]

Yeah, yeah. But if you did a blind taste test, I would say, gosh, that would be hard to differentiate between.

[John Holmberg]

You're saying that Barkley and Paul taste the same.

[Larry]

I'm saying you look at the. The team success when they were here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

You had a finals appearance with Charles. You had A finals appearance with Chris Paul.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

You had 60 win season with Chris Paul. 60 win season with Barkley.

[John Holmberg]

You had two 60 win seasons with Chris Paul. One with Charles.

[Larry]

Charles and Charles, the thing about them is they, is they were up 20 on Houston in two consecutive years.

[John Holmberg]

Two years in a row.

[Larry]

And one of them was on. They won two games in Houston, brought.

[John Holmberg]

It back here and got the race. Here's the thing, I think that happened and why Charles Barkley is in and Chris Paul shouldn't be. And the weird thing about that is that like you brought him up. Michael Jordan was already going to be the champion. Champion. So being in second place that year was nobody was going to beat Michael. And I think they all thought that's it. They celebrated it a couple Years ago, the 30th anniversary of the Sun's championship run. And I'm like, they lost. You don't celebrate that.

[Larry]

Cities don't.

[John Holmberg]

And they did. They went out of their way to celebrate. And I'm like, maybe a game that.

[Brady]

Barkley hung around here too.

[John Holmberg]

Well, right. That he lives here. But I think the thing was, is that the Chris Paul team, you know, I think they were up 20 also. And then. And you lose to the Bucks and you're like, we should have won that one.

[Larry]

They were up to the Bucks.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think they. Anybody thought they were going to beat the Bulls. They were scrappy to get to game six.

[Larry]

Right. Well, they should have been. They could have been limited against the Lakers in the first.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely. That year they lost. It was a five game series. They lost the first two and Paul Westfall guaranteed they win the next three. It was bad. But that team overachieved by being in the finals at and keeping it close. The Chris Paul championship team should have won it. So we don't hold them up and revere that team like we do the 93 losers. But essentially the 21 team was better.

[Larry]

There's a lot of similarities. And you're right, you could make an argument. 21 team.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Was outstanding.

[Larry]

But here's the other thing. Charles Barkley in the public eye.

[John Holmberg]

Personality, personality.

[Larry]

Chris Paul. Anybody develop a connection with him here?

[John Holmberg]

Kevin Durant was here, pretty quiet. No chance he goes in.

[Larry]

No.

[John Holmberg]

And he, you know, put up amazing numbers like Amari Stoudemire and Sean Marion who did the exact same thing there in the ring of honor. What is the criteria? Why? And why in Phoenix? Dale, you've lived here, you grew up here. Why are we so dumb? And it's because we're all transplants. And so we even use transplant players to feel like. Because that's part.

[Larry]

Again, why is Carson Palmer in the. In the.

[John Holmberg]

I said it yesterday. You made me choke on my own water.

[Brady]

It's how much they donate to local charities.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe that, but it's like there's guys that shouldn't be there.

[Larry]

There's guys who play 10, 12 years here with the Cardinals who had really good stats. There's a running back. Yeah. That probably should be in before Carson.

[Brady]

Who.

[Larry]

He's in the 90s, and I can't remember his name.

[John Holmberg]

Sean Johnson. He kills.

[Larry]

He's a dog. No, no, no, no. The. The guy who. Gosh, he had 100 over 100.

[John Holmberg]

Marcellus ship.

[Larry]

No, no, no. He. He leaped over a cowboy.

[John Holmberg]

That sounds like a game.

[Larry]

He leaped over one of our players.

[Brady]

Stump.

[Larry]

No. Are you looking at Cardinals?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm pulling it up.

[Larry]

In the 90s, they had a couple good running. Really good running backs.

[John Holmberg]

Those are.

[Podcast Announcer]

That's the ring of honor. You want the ring of honor?

[John Holmberg]

They're not in the ring of honor.

[Larry]

Not in the ring of honor yet.

[John Holmberg]

The running back for the Cardinals that were really.

[Larry]

Is the first running back, I think, in NFL history to have over 100 receptors.

[John Holmberg]

That was.

[Brady]

I thought that was.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I know who you're talking about now. I can't remember me. Michael. Oh, crap.

[Larry]

Michael Bidwell.

[John Holmberg]

Yep, that's it. Michael Bidwell. I saw him the other night at a restaurant while this Cardinals were playing.

Oh, what's his name? Damn it. Somebody's gonna email us. You're right. But there's guys like that that are like Cardinals through and through.

[Larry]

Yes. Played their career here and all that.

[John Holmberg]

Ron Wolfley. I know, but he's Cardinal rules. Red blood.

[Larry]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And those are the guys that I think should be in the ring of honor, and they're not because they want names and sales. But if you get a guy who's like, man, he wasn't great, but he represented this city for 13 years.

[Larry]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I can't remember his name.

[Podcast Announcer]

When did he play?

[Larry]

He played through the 90s.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, mid-90s.

[Larry]

I. I know. 90. You're 92 to 99 or 2.

[John Holmberg]

Son of a. Dale, why do you.

[Larry]

Have two catches in one year?

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah. Larry Centers.

[John Holmberg]

Larry Centers. That's the guy. Larry Centers. Like I said, Michael.

[Larry]

Career here.

[John Holmberg]

There he is. Now all the emails are coming up. Larry Centers.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're driving everybody. You made everyone just swerve around the freeway 90 to 98. Yeah. And he was. He's a true blue Cardinal. Yes, yes, he represented. They weren't terrible in the middle of that. No, they were.

[Ryan Hamilton]

No, they were.

[Larry]

They beat us in the playoffs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the Jake Plummer years. But they'll give it to Jake Plummer, put him in the ring of honor because it's a name people. People don't remember. Look, we just did their point.

[Larry]

But if he's out of the ring of honor, we might have remembered.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but Larry Sinners is a guy you're like, really? And then you start seeing the stats. He stayed, you know he didn't leave. No, no, there's something to that.

[Larry]

And then, and then you look at the guys that are in, whether it's the sons. It's not like, okay, well these guys led us to championship.

[John Holmberg]

No, they let other teams. Sean Marion left, they went to Dallas and then came back for like a little smoke and a drink. And then like can I be in your ring of are like, of course. You were great. It's just guys leaving.

[Podcast Announcer]

Do you think the. The the Suns back in the Barkley Suns holds a. A more sentimental place in the heart of people than the Chris Paul's Phoenix Suns?

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Podcast Announcer]

Oh, I think that has a lot to do with it as well.

[John Holmberg]

But that's the why it's personality. They were a. But they weren't. The rest of the team wasn't kind.

[Brady]

Of a new product too because the arena was relatively new.

[John Holmberg]

I think we felt like a city. Like it was starting to become a real city.

[Larry]

Phoenix became a nationally known basketball player.

[John Holmberg]

It's because of Charles, his mouth and his attitude. He was in his prime. It's one of those things I just, I'm just weirded out by that because I think it negates real ring of honor stuff and just makes it most famous guy. It has less. Kurt Warner didn't do anything here outside of just go, hey, he brought some prominence if you remember what I said. Because I went to the super bowl with the Cardinals and Steelers and I remember saying the next day they got screwed but no, they won the game. I remember saying the next day this is on the bid Wells now because I walked away impressed with the Cardinals moxie in that game. I'm like, they didn't give up to a legendary franchise super bowl known. These. These guys shouldn't have been there 9 and 17 but got lucky at the end and played great at the right time. And I said this is on the Bid Wells tonight. Not what I say. Yeah, they probably don't make it less. Don't Let go of this.

[Larry]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

You dug out of the hole. And don't screw this up, because you now have what Kurt Warner brought you. And what Edwin James brought you was. Was. You were now relevant.

[Larry]

John. It was more egregious in 98 when they beat us in the playoffs because they had a young team. Yep.

[John Holmberg]

They had built something.

[Larry]

And they had Jake Plummer and they. They had Larry Sanders.

[John Holmberg]

They had players that were like, okay, we got the building blocks, and they've done nothing but ra. Ruin it. And then they. Then they go back and go, remember when Sean Marion was a son? This. The Cubs retired Greg Maddox number?

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He was there for three years, left and became an Atlanta Brave legend, and then came back to the Cubs for a couple years and was a Dodger and whatever else.

[Larry]

He's a Hall of Famer for the Braves.

[John Holmberg]

You gave up on him. You didn't keep him. That tells me you can't be. If you didn't want him through a contract negotiation in his prime, you can't be in your ring of honor.

[Larry]

No.

[John Holmberg]

That's my rule. That's my only criteria.

[Larry]

New rule. I like that, John.

[John Holmberg]

If you guys ever fought over a contract while he was in his prime, he leaves and wins a championship. Yeah. You can't put him in your ring of honor.

[Larry]

I can't be in the Buffalo Bill.

[John Holmberg]

You can't be in anyone's ring of honor.

[Larry]

Cowboys Ring of Honor.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe in, like, the. I don't know what kind of ring of honor.

[Larry]

You can't be in the Ravens ring of honor.

[John Holmberg]

If you ever took, like, a bath and left the ring, that would. I think there's no ring of honor, Dale. Hell street should.

[Podcast Announcer]

Are you.

[John Holmberg]

You're in, like, the Saguaro High School hall of Fame.

[Larry]

I'm in the Scottsdale hall of Fame.

[John Holmberg]

Scottsdale?

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's a little heavy. Sauaro High, maybe. Scottsdale hall of Fame, City of Scottsdale.

[Larry]

Johnny. They're. They're. First of all, nobody's won more Super Bowl.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. Where. Where is the Scottsdale hall of Fame?

[Larry]

You go to.

[John Holmberg]

Don't say Square. Don't say Scott.

[Larry]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

What did you say to the mall? Fashion Square.

[Larry]

No, at Scottsdale Stadium.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I have been there. Yeah.

[Larry]

If you walk along, though, you'll see a picture of me back in the day.

[John Holmberg]

Is there a picture of it?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

They just have the.

[Larry]

All my accolades. I mean, mine's got the most accolades. It does Me and Jim Palmer, the pitcher.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I remember. Jim Palmer. Because I Was like, why is he. Is he from Scottsdale?

[Larry]

Yeah, he went to Scottsdale High back when there was a Scottsdale High.

[John Holmberg]

See, nobody knows.

[Larry]

No.

[John Holmberg]

And it's at Scottsdale Stadium. So I remember seeing that in a fall league game.

[Larry]

So the next fall league game, you go to just peruse the pictures and.

[John Holmberg]

Go get a selfie.

[Larry]

I did talk to him.

[John Holmberg]

Dale, I know you and I didn't see your name on there. Oh, my God.

[Brady]

Right when you were walk into the men's. The restroom.

[Podcast Announcer]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

It is. Yeah. It's the ring of honor because he took a dump in the urine. Made a rink. That's crazy. This one says, what do you. What does Dale think of why the NFL would treat Sanders with kid gloves? If any other quarterback did that lazy, annoying crap at the end of the Niners game, they would have at least said something in the announcers.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Why do you think they do kind of treat Shador Sanders kindly? I thought they were mean to him up until he started playing.

[Larry]

I was going to say, I. I think that there's been enough trash heaped his way.

[John Holmberg]

Now they're.

[Larry]

And now they're kind of finding out that, you know what?

[John Holmberg]

He's okay.

[Larry]

He's okay. But again, okay, if you, if you plump him down inside of a successful.

[John Holmberg]

Franchise, he's not playing.

[Larry]

I'm just saying, you put him in there. How good he could possibly be.

[John Holmberg]

Shador in the Scottsdale hall of Fame. He like went to. He went down to Old Town once.

[Larry]

Right. To have a humble attitude.

[John Holmberg]

John, in the hall of Fame there's trophies. Do you get a trophy? Did you even know about it?

[Larry]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They gave you a ring. Is there a ceremony?

[Larry]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Where.

[Larry]

I was inducted. Where was it?

[John Holmberg]

Does anyone go?

[Larry]

Carson course.

[John Holmberg]

At the golf course.

[Larry]

Yeah. So they had a. I mean, to stop golf. Stop, stop.

[John Holmberg]

Anybody golf.

[Larry]

Shout out some cannons. No.

[John Holmberg]

So what is that? Like, what are they. What are they doing?

[Larry]

Well, they just had again a little dinner. Went to one that had nice luncheon.

[John Holmberg]

You don't support the others. You and Jim Palmer don't show up for the new inductees.

[Larry]

Jim's still doing Hanes commercials.

[John Holmberg]

You pricks. You got your award and you ran out. You got your polo tongues.

[Brady]

Cocopelli.

[John Holmberg]

Do you find it to be sort of like, well, it's nice that somebody.

[Larry]

Would say that, you know, I should be in the SMU hall of Fame.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Larry]

Well, I made all century TV.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good of SMU.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I was the second even been around for a century.

[Larry]

A guy. Oh, SMU started like 19 in football. Hell, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Larry]

I haven't played since early 1900s, but I was second vote getter behind a guy named Forrest. Greg. I don't know. Force.

[John Holmberg]

Greg, Coach of the Bengals.

[Larry]

Yeah. Hall of Fame, offensive lineman for the Green Bay Packers.

[John Holmberg]

Packer, coach of the Bengals. Yeah. I hated him for that. They went to the Super Bowl.

[Larry]

I hate. They did horrible.

[John Holmberg]

They lost. But I hated the Bengals and they won. Those ugly ass rugs. That hat.

[Larry]

Oh, that'd be everything.

[John Holmberg]

Terrible. So what. What number are you in the 100 at the SMU? You're not in it.

[Larry]

No, I'm not. I'm not Famer. I should be.

[John Holmberg]

You think you and Eric Dickerson are on the same page with that?

[Larry]

I think Eric Dickerson is probably the second best running back. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Where do you think you'd fall in the top 100 at SMU?

[Larry]

I'm second. Right. In second team.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you are on. I thought you said you weren't.

[Larry]

No, I am. Oh, you're on the second votes. Most voted tackle behind four.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. And that falls pretty far down.

[Larry]

He got a lot more votes than I do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but tackles are like. You're like number 9899 as far as talent. No, no, as far as, like, where you land on, there's like 98. Better.

[Larry]

No, I think it's Doke Walker. I think it's Eric Dickerson.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no.

There's a lot of this flipping through pages. There he is.

[Ryan Hamilton]

There.

[Larry]

There it is.

[Brady]

Helstrom.

[John Holmberg]

97. Yeah, yeah. They missp. Spell it. Dave Hellstrom. And then, like, the retarded kid they gave the ball to in practice, wants to score a touchdown. He's 99th. And then 100. Is a guy who died on the field or something in 1908. Wow.

[Larry]

John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98.

[John Holmberg]

KUPD.

[Larry]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Dale, you should be in it.

[John Holmberg]

I give you credit. I said, you're on the list. I just said, who's behind you?

[Brady]

Why is that? Who do we need to call?

[John Holmberg]

You don't think the crippled retarded kid dead guy deserve to be on the list?

[Larry]

They honorable mention.

[John Holmberg]

They're on it. I think they probably thought you were dead, too. When they were talking to her. They're like, he's not together. Good. But. Well, that's good. That's an honor. I didn't know that.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The Scottsdale hall of Fame's kind of funny. I don't like meaningless.

[Larry]

Hall of Fame There's a Mesa hall of Fame.

[John Holmberg]

I know, it's terrible.

[Larry]

Are you on there?

[John Holmberg]

No, but I've been. I've told the radio hall of Fame that if they ever induct me, I'll come. I'll burn it down. I don't want to be in that.

[Larry]

You're not in the conversation.

[John Holmberg]

I am in the conversation. They begged me to be in it. I told them if I ever.

[Brady]

If?

[John Holmberg]

Look, it's the old Groucho man Marks. Any club that wants me to be a member is a club I don't want to be a part of. If they'll accept me, they'll accept anything.

[Larry]

Well, it's not a club, John. It's an honor.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know it's an honor, and I know what their honor is. It's to sell tickets to the event so they can pretend to give something. It's. It's a hoax, is what it is.

[Larry]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Dave Pratt's in it. I mean, they put sales people in there. It's like, come on.

[Larry]

Are you looking up the Trying to find it all century team at the Dallas Morning News?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's a newspaper. That's like being in the News.

[Podcast Announcer]

Scottsdale hall of Fame.

[John Holmberg]

We've done the New Times Best of over and over. A big deal.

[Larry]

Well, yeah, the New Times, that's a rag.

That's a legitimate newspaper.

[John Holmberg]

I've been. The Republic gave us, like, a best of it. That's silly. That's just some writer making it up. That's pretty. I'm proud of you for that.

[Larry]

You know what I love is when I look over to my. Right here, I see Bridge Brady taking a deep breath, and you can see he's ready to say something.

[John Holmberg]

He deflates, you deflate him.

[Brady]

I. I got nothing to say.

[John Holmberg]

I've said it a hundred times. You put Brady in the hall of Fame. Larry wants to be in, and that's the embarrassing thing. He wants in. And everybody's like, stop begging to be in our hall of Fame. You can't ask. But I'm telling him I don't want to be in it. Tim and Willie were going to nominate me. I'm like, if you do, I won't show up.

[Larry]

Tim and Willie?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you know Tim and. Well, they're country guys, you know.

[Larry]

Yeah. Well, why would they. Why would they want you in?

[John Holmberg]

Because they. Because I'm reminded. Remarkable.

[Larry]

I'd love to see your bust.

[John Holmberg]

How big would you make a bus? That would be 3D.

Poking people in the eyes. They'd use it as A thing out when you get to the door. You must be this tall to get in. Just to cross under my nose, point.

[Larry]

This way to the bathroom that I.

[John Holmberg]

Would be in if they did that. If my nose led you to the can, I'd be all over. Or it was my nose was the thing that flushes the.

[Larry]

Flush the toilet.

[John Holmberg]

I'm fine with that. Yeah, I don't. I don't like a meaningless halls of. They don't have a roofing hall of Fame. Like, real people who do real jobs don't get a hall of fame.

[Larry]

No, but sports.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Larry]

Entertainment.

[John Holmberg]

It's ego nonsense.

[Larry]

Have you found yet?

[John Holmberg]

It's ego nonsense. Nobody. Nobody out there.

[Brady]

Same.

[John Holmberg]

The star sponsor. Yeah. They sponsor. They buy it. Like these guys over here in the building next to us at LG don't have a Hall of Fame dinner. They go to and figure that out.

[Larry]

What that is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we know what it is. They're. They're the architects.

[Larry]

I thought you said everything's underground ground.

[John Holmberg]

Huh? I thought you said, oh, no, that's over there. Oh, there's a lot of stuff under here. But that's building they're tearing down. Is. A lot of stuff's underground. We're sitting on a nuclear mess.

[Larry]

We're all going to have your nose.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's kidneys are from this building. Hey, he grew that lump in a sack. You should. You should see whatever we're sitting on. We're all going to be bubble people sitting in this building. We got a great deal. And there's a reason why.

[Larry]

Well, how about this? This season's Phoenix Suns.

[John Holmberg]

It's getting fun. Getting fun. You and I were texting about that the other day. I was like, this is just a fun team.

[Larry]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

They give you 48 minutes. Even when they lose, you're like, well, watching them.

[Larry]

And. And the one thing that I loved coming out of that Laker game, they beat him and all that.

[John Holmberg]

They kicked the crap out.

[Larry]

But when J.J. redick comes out and.

[John Holmberg]

Says, oh, that was great.

[Larry]

If you don't go 100 miles an hour against this team.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're going to get bit.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Here's the fun part about the Lakers game. LeBron had four points going into, like, the last five minutes of the game, or I was a little before that. His last five minutes. And the Suns were just beating the tar. LeBron has, like, a streak that goes back to the Obama administration and how many games he's had.

[Larry]

Double.

[John Holmberg]

Double digits, really. And it became important to LeBron to get to 10 points. And he was clunking up some messy shots. Anyway, he's not trying to win this game.

[Larry]

No, he wants 10.

[John Holmberg]

He's keeping his move like he's keeping that thing alive. Right. And I started laughing like, LeBron knows.

[Larry]

Oh, oh. I guarantee you he knows.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, LeBron knows. That means something.

[Larry]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

It's like being a member of Scottsdale hall of Fame and bragging about it. It was pointless, but it meant something to him.

[Larry]

So I told you. Did you ever hear that from me before?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, a couple times.

[Larry]

I, I see.

[John Holmberg]

You're a lion.

[Larry]

Your nose is hitting.

[Brady]

It's all you talk about.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. Again with the Scottsdale hall of Fame. Is it Tim Salmon in that?

[Larry]

No, he's not for Scottsdale.

[John Holmberg]

I'm thinking of the guys who played in the Fall League. I'm confusing it like the super Derek Jeter played in the Arizona Fall League. They have plaques up there for that.

[Larry]

Oh, no, but this is athletes that.

[John Holmberg]

Went to high school here.

[Larry]

High school year in Arizona.

[John Holmberg]

That's just about it. It's you.

[Larry]

Oh, so Larry wants to be in the hall of Fame.

[John Holmberg]

Larry. We'll get Larry in the hall of Fam before it's all over.

[Larry]

For a.

[John Holmberg]

Radio hall of Fame. He's in the Scottsdale hall of Fame. You should be in that too. Yeah, I think we'll get Larry.

[Larry]

I like Larry. How about Larry does my segment?

[John Holmberg]

Okay. You want to do that with Larry? Because Larry thinks a football is adorable.

Ask Larry one football question.

[Larry]

Oh, I, I.

[Brady]

Here we go.

[John Holmberg]

Quiz him.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Who was the quarterback when dale played in one Super Super Bowls for the Dallas Cowboys in the 90s? Not a clue. There you go. You want to do the segment?

[Larry]

You really can't pull.

[John Holmberg]

You, I mean, Roger Waters. There you go. Was it Roger Waters?

[Larry]

You really can't even pull a name out.

[John Holmberg]

How many points is a field goal?

[Larry]

Yeah.

Seven.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Larry]

Are you. You're playing.

[Podcast Announcer]

He's not.

[John Holmberg]

He's not. He doesn't care. I don't care.

[Larry]

How could you not care? What is it?

[John Holmberg]

What did you watch on TV on Thanksgiving? Because 50. Did you watch football? Watched football. No kidding. Because your dad. And that's why I don't like football.

And it's not because I don't like my father. No, seriously. Growing up is non stop. Growing up was yelling at the tv.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So as a child I was scared. Yeah.

[Larry]

Of football.

[John Holmberg]

Because my father was constantly screaming at the tv.

[Larry]

You goddamn mother.

I didn't say anything.

[John Holmberg]

I know I didn't say anything. We all sat on it. Triggered him. Jesus. Go to your therapist immediately and talk about your dad.

[Larry]

So he went back to his shower.

[Podcast Announcer]

And so honestly, like, you know, I grew up sitting through that and, and.

[John Holmberg]

Made you tense and miserable.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And so anytime sports came on, I was like, I don't want to get. No, like a puppy with fireworks.

[Ryan Hamilton]

You know what?

[Brady]

His dad also owned a bakery. He was taking bets.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

In the back room. Larry had that pressure.

[Brady]

All that pressure.

[John Holmberg]

Larry had to launder money.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. Now will I watch a Cardinals game? Sure, sure. Well, that's not football. But you don't even know how much.

[Larry]

Your field goals were.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sure do.

[Brady]

Do.

[John Holmberg]

Honestly, I've never asked. Do you know what's going on when you watch or you just kind of. No, I do. Yeah, I do.

[Larry]

You know, they're supposed to try and.

[John Holmberg]

Get in there, but do you know a touchdown? Yes. Like the points.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

How many is it? 10. Oh, man, stop. It's three.

So touchdown count is you think it's 10. I thought it was like it's five, six. That's very close.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I knew it was between seven and I'm the opposite. The only reason I know some math is because of football. I, I, when we got to the times tables sevens, I blew through because you're only supposed to memorize up to 12. I'm like, watch, I've got the first seven already in my head because I know how football touchdowns, you know, hey.

[Larry]

It'S a two score game. It's a one score.

[John Holmberg]

7, 14, 21, 20. Some people like couldn't care about say video games. Yeah, they care.

[Brady]

Absolutely not. I don't know what video games are out there.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady]

You know, that's kind of the same thing with me.

[Larry]

Yeah. But there's 57 million people.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Watching. He was one of them. Your dad's still screaming at the tv.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is it all he's still doing? Yeah, no kidding.

[Larry]

Isn't that amazing that at natural human beings yelling at the tv at a game being playing thousand miles away.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I, I have a house full of them on Sunday.

[Brady]

It's their way to express themselves sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

Event and you have no idea idea.

[Podcast Announcer]

The things that were screaming.

[Brady]

The horrible.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we do. You said almost everyone.

[Podcast Announcer]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't even scratch the surface.

[Larry]

We're not even.

[John Holmberg]

We didn't even get to basketball yet. Oh, he's worse at basketball. Oh my God. I like took Larry to a basketball game to show you. You seemingly were very great. Yeah.

[Brady]

I loved it.

[John Holmberg]

You only pissed himself once when the crowd got loud and it was fine. Boy, those. Those Phoenix suns in the 80s, they.

[Podcast Announcer]

Have no idea what was screamed at them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Oh, your dad screaming at them. Tv. Yeah, man. No idea.

[Larry]

My dad put a. A hole through our roof in the.

[John Holmberg]

76 finals because when he stood up Frankenstein style.

[Larry]

No, no, I mean, he was.

[John Holmberg]

Because the neighbors had shown up with.

[Larry]

Torches and pitchforks when Gar Herd hit that shot.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, in 76.

[Larry]

My dad literally from the sofa, sitting on the sofa to Airborne with his fist up goes. Goes through our ceiling in our popcorn ceiling.

[John Holmberg]

He should be in the Scott sale all the time for that.

[Larry]

Put everybody in there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, everybody's in there. You might as well. Dale hell is here this today. We're going to do our picks next. Dale brought to you by Diamond Coatings a dot com. Get that garage floor, your pavers. Everything else, be unified by the best in the business. Diamond Coatings a dot com. The pics are next.

[Larry]

Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

Thought that was funny.

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[Larry]

What the hell is wrong with you?

Who's that?

[John Holmberg]

That's a legend.

[Larry]

Ooh.

[John Holmberg]

Rock and roll hall of famer Trent Reznor. And Nine Inch Nails is who that is. Nine Inch Nails? You've never heard of Nine Inch Nails? You're making fun of Larry.

[Larry]

No, I think I have. Nine Inch Nails.

[John Holmberg]

Nine Inch Nails. Amazing.

[Larry]

Yeah, amazing.

[John Holmberg]

The early stuff is out of this world. Changes to changes music.

[Larry]

They change.

[John Holmberg]

They did with Brett. They changed music.

[Podcast Announcer]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

They changed the way things got.

[Larry]

Larry Centers changed football.

[John Holmberg]

Larry Centers changed the Cardinals. Let's get right to it. Let's get to our picks. FanDuel's bringing them to you. And our FanDuel picks last week. Not good, boys. My Steelers were horrible. You got yours. Cowboys got theirs. And Brady, you went with the ra. The Ravens on Thursday night. Yeah, I was with you on that.

[Podcast Announcer]

I. I think everybody would have done that bet.

[John Holmberg]

Taking the Ravens over the Bengals, I mean. Yeah, you know, I didn't see it going the way it did. Boy, that division's bad. So let's get right to it. Your Bears are playing the packers in Green Bay.

[Podcast Announcer]

Sticking with my boys.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he goes. He's gonna be the one that screws us.

[Larry]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

Gonna be the one that screws us this week. Are the Cowboys playing? Are they off?

[Larry]

Yeah, they play tonight.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they play tonight. They got two Thursdays in a row.

[Larry]

Yeah, they got the Lions in Detroit yeah, well, I think the spread's 3.

[John Holmberg]

3.

[Larry]

I'll take the Cowboys with the no points.

[John Holmberg]

We're not doing that anymore. We got yelled at for last week. We're not doing it anymore.

[Larry]

You get yelled at?

[Podcast Announcer]

You did.

[John Holmberg]

You started bitching about the guy. Emailed in and so I made a second bet last week with no points. I got beat twice because of you pricks. No points. Cowboys are live.

[Larry]

Emailed in.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't say Cowboys. Lions. No points. Felt like a man. Boy. You yelled at him for taking points. Yeah.

[Podcast Announcer]

So I just went straight.

[John Holmberg]

That he didn't believe.

[Larry]

Give me the Cowboys as we march towards the damn playoffs. Johnny.

[John Holmberg]

It looks like it. I'll take. I'm gonna bet my Steelers for one last time. Who they got the Ravens. And after. After in Baltimore. But after the fire Tomlin chants and all the stuff that happened there, this team either shows some pride or they disappear and they're. It's too prideful an organization to go in and lose to your biggest rival. After that mess last week, does Lamar.

[Larry]

Ever lose to the Steelers?

[John Holmberg]

He's. Yeah, he's like 2 and 6. Steelers are the only team that own him. Although the last couple times have not been friendly. Last year was.

[Larry]

So we. As long as three of us lose, then that's fine.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Brady, Bengals are playing the Bills in Buffalo.

[Brady]

In Buffalo. I'm going with the Bills.

[John Holmberg]

Going with the Bills. After the performance last week of the beast Bengals.

[Brady]

Yeah. I think it's Smoking Joe's.

[Larry]

You just.

[John Holmberg]

You just won't.

[Brady]

Bills, they got. They. They have to. The wins more important for the Bill.

[John Holmberg]

Why the Bengals when they can still win the division?

[Larry]

They're still in playoff hunt.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The Bengals are two games back.

[Brady]

I'm five and one with the Bengals right now on my picks.

[John Holmberg]

Picking against them. Smart. Yeah. Because you're most of the time this year picking against them is the wise move. I don't know.

[Brady]

I don't know. What.

[John Holmberg]

All right, we got the Bears, we got the Bills, we got the Steelers, and we've got the Cowboys. Three of us voting with our heart. One one of us is voting smartly. Probably wise. And I guess what it's going to be one and three. Brady's gonna lose. You're gonna be paying 33.

[Larry]

Oh, that would be.

[John Holmberg]

That would be pretty good. 37.87 is our bet. Plus 30. So it's a $3,780 if we hit this one.

[Larry]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty good.

[Larry]

That would be really good. That wouldn't be absolutely no chance.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think so either. I think the biggest. You know what I think? At least he's a realist. The one that's screwing us is him.

[Larry]

It might be over. It might be over tonight.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I like the Cowboys beating Detroit.

[Larry]

Detroit's pretty banged up.

[John Holmberg]

They're messed up.

[Larry]

Pretty banged up.

[John Holmberg]

We'll see. But let's see if we can pull 3, 700 bucks out of it.

[Larry]

Oh, that'd be nice. 37 divided by 4.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's not 37 divided by 4 because I got to take my. My money back for the bet.

[Larry]

So 36.

[John Holmberg]

So 36 and then last week's money. I'll take that.

[Larry]

No, no, you ain't taking that back.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, you're not.

[Larry]

Yeah, so that'll be.

[John Holmberg]

I'll find a number for you.

[Larry]

Yeah, about 900. Johnny, it's Warlord.

[John Holmberg]

It'd be somewhere in the area. We'll ballpark that. That seems right.

[Larry]

I still got to figure out how to get my money out of Apple, pay for the one bet we won.

[John Holmberg]

Still sitting there.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's a retirement.

[Podcast Announcer]

Have your daughters figure that out for you.

[Larry]

Even they looked at. I don't know how to do this.

[John Holmberg]

You've got grandkids now. The. The little. The little Graham. Yeah. Yeah.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Was he four now? Five. He's five.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus Christ. That was fast.

[Larry]

Yes.

[Ryan Hamilton]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he'll figure it out. He's smarter than you with the phone. I guarantee it.

[Larry]

I'm just keeping it in there so I can pay.

[Brady]

You guys pass that on. Christmas.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Graham doesn't need any more money.

[John Holmberg]

He's doing all right.

[Larry]

Yeah, he's doing okay.

[John Holmberg]

Love it. All right. That's it. Man, oh, man. I don't like that bet at all.

[Larry]

Oh, well, that's why it's 37.

[John Holmberg]

I'm leaning hard into my end, and then I think we'll see. Maybe we all. Maybe this is the feeling we should have. And then we'll win because whenever we're confident, we get blasted.

[Larry]

It's. It's like playing a football game. There's been several games I played, and I went and didn't play that well.

[John Holmberg]

Then you watch film like I was pretty good.

[Larry]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Ryan Hamilton]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

We'll see.

[Larry]

I don't think that's the case now.

[John Holmberg]

Probably not. Dale joins me later for that sports thing, the broadcast of my podcast Sports. He's a permanent guest now, and I'm pretty thank him for showing up on once again. There are others, but it's the Homeberg Sportscast podcast. It's a podcast for sports. It's that sports thing. I. I don't want to go too crazy and put my name on the.

[Larry]

Title, but it's you. You've assumed total control.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Larry]

Total creative control.

[John Holmberg]

And it's going well.

[Larry]

And you went into to this beginning saying, well, I'll be again.

[John Holmberg]

It's going really well and you're welcome. All you're saying is. All you're saying is please say you're welcome. Uh, and I did. But yeah, it's. It's that. And then it's going really well. And now it's available on all streaming platforms. I was wise to see if you guys could keep up with me. So I gave it a few weeks.

[Larry]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Let's start pushing it a little. We'll start advertising it some because I was kind of embarrassed to be in the room with you to make like.

[Larry]

This thing work with me or with the other guy.

[John Holmberg]

Well, all of you. I knew I'd make it tick. But having you two in there was like, let's see if this works. Is there chemistry? It's go. It's going very. I'm doing very well with the limited range resources.

[Larry]

20 years.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, how have you that sports? Well, I never complained about him that way. Really?

[Larry]

He's always been the home bird.

[John Holmberg]

It's always been. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've never had to worry about him thinking he's good at this.

[Larry]

Equal to you.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The morning couple. He knows. Yeah. It popped up now and again. So we got free stuff. He found an angle. He found a back door and got some free food. But that was going to happen.

[Larry]

So how do you find this sports thing everywhere? Is it the sports thing or it's a sports thing?

[John Holmberg]

I have no idea. That sports thing.

[Podcast Announcer]

That's a dado thing.

[John Holmberg]

That sports thing. And it's right there on the. You can pick it, you can Google it. You can. You can put it up on Apple and Spotify and Cloud and whatever it's Cloud Stream. Stream Club. What's that thing called? I don't even know what they're all those everywhere. You find one SoundCloud. That's the one. It's everywhere. It's even got a little logo. Look at that.

[Brady]

See?

[John Holmberg]

98Kpd.Com podcast or Apple Amazon podcast. Thus sports thing. And we should do John Holmberg podcast. That's right.

[Brady]

With Dale Hellistray.

[John Holmberg]

And guest. And guest.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So you're on. You're on the title card.

[Podcast Announcer]

Ash doesn't get he's and the others right now from Gilligan's island or what.

[John Holmberg]

He's teetering on whether or not he's gonna stick around for the permanent. So we don't wanna, we're gonna print up cards. Let's just say that.

[Larry]

He might not stay on the island. No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

We can vote him off any minute. Yeah. Although I have a couple conspiracies I'm gonna hit him with later today. Very excited about it. It's 10:03. Let's get right to it. The entertainment drills brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. The holiday special is basically their 25th anniversary special. Going to give you a month of training for 89 bucks, which is fantastic. Learn how to defend yourself in situations that go sideways, goofy and crazy right in front of you. Would you know what to do? Do you know how to fight? I talked to a guy at the Palladio thing that I goes, I did martial arts for years. I'm like, you're perfect now. Do you know how to street fight? Because you can take your martial art arts and that guy's never going to tap out. Do you have what it takes to blow his shoulder up? Do you have an end this fight? Because dudes that you fight don't have rules. Sports, sport, fighting has rules. The guys that are fighting you don't. A lot of times they trained in prison on all the stuff you're not allowed to do because they know they're going to fight. A guy who squares up to box, he's dead. So they teach all that stuff. But bring your skills with no matter what you have, it's what you carry around with you every single day. That's your current defense level. Learn how to use it. Hone it. Be a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep. React defense.com the home of tactical black Brady Entertainment.

[Brady]

I think you boys might be excited about this. Martin Scorsese is going to executive produce a new series on Netflix that's taking place in Las Vegas.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Modern day Vegas.

[John Holmberg]

Today's Vegas. Scorsese is going to do Casino 2025. Yep.

[Podcast Announcer]

No, nothing to do with the other ones. From what I understand. It's just basically run.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, this weird thing he's doing on Fox Nation with the Bible and saints. Yeah, the saints thing.

[Brady]

Yeah. I haven't seen.

[John Holmberg]

Have you watched any of that? No, I have to download Fox Nation for that. I think I'm on a whole bunch of lists. If I Do that. I don't want. I don't want to get advertisement for that. Next thing you know, all they'll do is talk to me about my pillow.

[Podcast Announcer]

And Toledo's wife's gonna chase you down.

[John Holmberg]

It's just the advertising would be the problem.

[Brady]

Bad bunny is Spotify's most streamed artist in the world for a record setting fourth year.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Larry]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

It's two languages. It's a big deal.

[Larry]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

The US and all the Spanish speaking nations. He's got him. He's got him by the balls.

[Larry]

All I know is I have Spotify and that whenever it goes to that track of. This is what's popular on Spotify today.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know who any of it is.

[Brady]

Good.

[John Holmberg]

No. You know how to work Spotify.

[Larry]

Fast forward. Fast forward.

[John Holmberg]

I am. I gotta tell you, Skip. I am. You turn shark. Skip, Skip, skip, Skip. Listen, Skip, listen. They gonna skip all podcast.

[Brady]

That's pod Rogan Rogan won hberg this past weekend with Theo Vaugh.

[John Holmberg]

The sports show John Hornberg podcast.

[Brady]

Call her daddy and crime junk.

[John Holmberg]

It's a John Holbrook. It's like a Spike Lee joint. You know, I should have called it.

[Podcast Announcer]

It's a home bird joint.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Scott Haynes says your show is kind of like your Chris Gaines go. You dress up as a different guy. I do a whole different show. It's good. It's fun. If you like sports talk and goofy silly stuff. It's fun.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Dale's got a fascinating story.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Go, Dale.

[Larry]

Why do you waste paper on these? These knock down a forest. There's an animated Chuck E. Cheese Christmas special on YouTube.

[John Holmberg]

A full story.

[Larry]

This year's random Christmas special isn't one found on TV or streaming services. It's free on YouTube. It's called a Chuck E. Cheese Christmas.

[John Holmberg]

How fun stars Chuck E. Cheese.

[Larry]

You ever eaten a Chuck E. Cheese?

[John Holmberg]

I did. I have.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, I mean that's like for kids birthday party. You don't go, I used to be a kid, Dale.

[Larry]

They weren't around.

[Brady]

I'm going there for lunch yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

They used to have the. I was there when it was authentic. It wasn't on TV screens. I remember the animatronic band, that showbiz pizza.

[Podcast Announcer]

They had both of them around here.

[Larry]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

They were in competition. It was either one was good when you were a kid.

[Podcast Announcer]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you go now and it's like everything's digitized. The screen is cartoons.

[Larry]

It. It stars Chuck E. Cheese and his bandmates from Munch's make believe Band.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Yeah.

[Larry]

We throw Santa Claus surprise birthday party, lift his Christmas spirit and.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds great.

[Brady]

The holiday they saved Christmas.

[John Holmberg]

When's the last time you went to a Chuck e. Cheese?

[Larry]

Probably 15 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Larry]

I go to Peter Piper now with my grandson.

[John Holmberg]

Why do kids like, like, the most basic pizza? They have no pizza.

[Larry]

Yeah, they're going for the toys.

[John Holmberg]

Peter Piper has games.

[Larry]

The game.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I just thought they were just.

[Brady]

I go there just three times a week.

[John Holmberg]

You go to Peter Piper. That's. You don't even eat. You just.

[Brady]

So many.

[Larry]

Kids out.

[John Holmberg]

I lost my dog.

[Ryan Hamilton]

Move.

[John Holmberg]

You get a little stain. Let me stink. You got a little stain on your pants.

[Larry]

Let me.

[John Holmberg]

There's no reason for you to be there. That's it for us. We're all done, aren't we? You got anything? All right. All good. Nope. Nobody's doing it. Everybody's looking to see ceiling tiles. Do I live here still? That's it for us. This sports thing is going up today. Later tonight, probably. We'll get that together and we'll get all. All the sports talk that you didn't get here will go on there. Plus, Nash usually has something ridiculous and goes nuts. And we have a blind listener that hates Dave Nash so much. Sean Rockfell hates Dave Nash so much, he emails me while we do the podcast, and it hasn't even been out yet. He just starts complaining about Dave Nash while I'm in there. So it's pretty awesome. We're done. Larry's coming up next. He knows nothing about football. We'll talk to you tomorrow in the morning.

[Larry]

Sign as Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.