12-05-25 - BR - FRI - Google's Year In Search Is Out - Sci News On New Silent Dentist Drill/Smelling Fatty Foods And Secrets Of A Cat's Meow - Columbia CEO Challenges Flat Earthers Bringing Up John's Podcast Conspiracy Theorist

Summary

Episode Overview

Theme:
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness dives into the quirks of Google's "Year in Search," discusses recent scientific news (including a silent dentist drill and the secrets of a cat's meow), pokes fun at flat Earthers (inspired by the Columbia Sportswear CEO's recent challenge), and recaps a wild ride through conspiracy theories with John's podcast guest. The team's signature irreverence and banter lead to memorable debates, surprising facts, and plenty of comic moments.

---

Segment Breakdown & Key Points

1. Charity Shout-outs & Dog Rescue

• [01:21–09:00]
  • John reminisces about the "Rotten Grapes" restaurant and praises the "Rotten Rotty Rescue" for their ongoing dog adoption work, especially for Rottweilers:
    • “Adopt as much as you can. Don’t shop!” (John Holmberg, 02:38)
    • Describes a dog named Carbone as “the pick of the litter”: “Carbone is dumb. This is a dumb, fun dumb, but it’s the dumb, like, ‘I’m just a dog’... In the most awesome Disney way.” (John Holmberg, 04:33)
    • Repeat warning: Don’t buy pets as Christmas gifts unless the recipient is truly ready for the responsibility.
    • Discussion about dog intelligence: towel-over-the-head test.

---

2. Brady Report: Fun Facts & National Day

• [09:25–14:00]
  • National “Communicate With Your Kids” Day sparks a running joke about what high schoolers do when they call their parents.
  • Fun facts:
    • A group of pugs = grumble.
    • The three NBA teams undefeated in Finals appearances: Raptors, Nuggets, Bulls.
      • "The Bulls! That's right." (John Holmberg, 11:56)
    • Cost of building the Pyramid of Giza today: $5 billion.

---

3. Google 2025 Year in Search & Weird Trends

• [14:20–18:18]
  • Top 2025 Google searches: Labubu toys ("parents and people our age have to search Labubus"), Charlie Kirk, K-pop, tariffs, government shutdown, and the iPhone 17.
  • Notable quote on weird search trends:
    • “There’s always something on that list that reminds you the world is weirder than you think.” (John Holmberg, ~15:10)
  • Search highlights: LA fires, new Pope, the Epstein files, Hurricane Melissa, and Pantone’s boring “Cloud Dancer” (toilet paper white) color of the year.
  • Bizarre fetish searches: armpit licking overtakes pegging and feet content; water sports still going strong.

---

4. Science News: Silent Dentist Drill & More

• [18:44–23:40]
  • Dentist Drill: Ongoing development of a silent drill to reduce odontophobia:
    • “Just change the name of it to the tooth softener… Don’t call it a drill…” (John Holmberg, 19:22)
    • Drills evoke trauma; reference to “Marathon Man” torture scene adds a pop culture lens.
  • Fatty Food Smells & Pregnancy: Smelling fatty foods while pregnant may predispose children to obesity; speculation on whether the mother's endorphin response is transmitted to the baby.
  • Cat Meows: Study says cats meow louder at men because men are bad listeners.
    • “That’s not true… overreact to everything?” (John, 22:28–22:38)
  • Other Quick Science Hits:
    • Russian space program setback after launchpad destroyed.
    • Blue Origin sending first wheelchair user to space.
    • Lightning discovered on Mars; time passes faster on Mars.
    • Chimps get mildly drunk eating fermented fruit.

---

5. Guess the Perp Game & News Oddities

• [25:47–29:00]
  • Comically stereotype-driven “Guess the Perp” segment:
    • 73-year-old Mississippi man busted for trying to buy a baby (“Howell Penton,” turns out to be black; running joke about “Mountain Dew guy”).
    • Gainesville, Florida case: man throws log through car window, surprising reveal he is not the redneck they expected.
  • These moments highlight the team’s brutal, comedic edge when riffing on news stories.

---

6. Columbia Sportswear CEO Challenges Flat Earthers

• [29:09–39:16]
  • Columbia's Tim Boyle offers to give away the company if someone can show the “edge of the earth.”
    • “If you can prove it, you get the company. Willy Wonka style.” (Brady, 30:14)
    • Satirical plotting: the host imagines chartering a luxury yacht for Flat Earthers and making them “put up or shut up.”
    • John: “Flat Earthers never invent rockets. Not one rich Flat Earther out there!” (John, 38:22)
  • John and Brady unpack how flat earth theories (and chemtrails, etc.) persist, despite decades of technology.

---

7. Podcast Cross-Over: Conspiracy Theory Madness

• [31:50–38:00]
  • John describes a recurring bit from his own podcast: sports talk ends, then his guest “Nash” rants about conspiracies.
    • Nash believes in chemtrails, claims Bill Gates chooses when to “turn off” the weather-controlling chemicals can by calling ahead when visiting Seattle.
      • “He just calls ahead and says no chemtrails in Seattle today, please.” (34:36)
    • Chemtrails are tied into mass, random story points (911, COVID, Epstein Island).
    • “He gets so worked up… His arms go in the air like someone’s beating him.” (John, 36:26)
    • Nash’s beliefs likened to Alex Jones, including infamous “making the frogs gay” claim.
    • Sarcastic musings about “how to join the conspiracy elite” if it’s so powerful.

---

8. The Internet’s Weirdest Videos

• [39:31–46:37]
  • “Pretty Video” segment: Showcases bizarre viral clips, including...
    • An Indian daredevil tries (and mostly fails) to ride a bike over the backs of 11 lying men—genuine shock and fascination from the team.
      • “That is one of my favorite things I’ve seen in a while.” (John Holmberg, 41:51)
    • Then, a parade of NSFW oddities: suffocation fetish, a man cutting his own penis off, “milk shooter vs. butt funnel,” and more.
      • “That was a tough one. Holy cow. What was that sound?”’ (John, 46:14)
  • The hosts alternate between horror, confusion, and irreverent laughter—classic absurd “Morning Sickness” tone.

---

Notable Quotes

• On dog smarts:
  “When they’re puppies, you put a towel over their head: If they lay down, they’re dumb. If they find their way out, they’re smart.” — John Holmberg (04:33)

• On holiday pet “gifting”:
  “Don’t buy someone else a pet for Christmas. They’re not gifts, they’re responsibilities for years.” — John Holmberg (06:55)

• On the Columbia CEO’s challenge:
  “If you guys claim that there’s an end to the earth, I’ll give you the company.” — Brady Bogan (29:23)

• On chemtrails conspiracy:
  “He (Bill Gates) just calls ahead and says no chemtrails in Seattle today, please.” — John Holmberg (34:36)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:21–09:00] — Dog rescue/charity & animal intelligence discussion
• [09:25–14:00] — Brady’s Fun Facts & National Day
• [14:20–18:18] — Google Year in Search, oddball trends, Color of the Year
• [18:44–23:40] — Science News: Silent dentist drill, fat-smelling pregnancies, cat meows, Mars
• [25:47–29:00] — Guess the Perp: News oddities & comic profiling
• [29:09–39:16] — Flat Earther Columbia challenge, followed by deeper debunking
• [31:50–38:00] — Conspiracy theory podcast crossover: chemtrails, Bill Gates, frogs, more
• [39:31–46:37] — Internet’s weirdest videos (Indian bike stunt, NSFW oddities, group commentary)

---

Episode Tone & Style

The entire episode maintains Holmberg’s signature blend of playful, often edgy banter, with a particular affection for deflating nonsense, poking fun at internet culture, and amplifying the absurdity of current events. Listeners get both laughs and some surprisingly thoughtful insights—just always delivered with a side of snark.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Mrs. Claus]

You thought that was funny?

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell is wrong with you?

We're just about ready for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. But before we do that, let me find this again. I just lost it. Damn it, Paige. I want to talk about some people. I thought they went away and I was worried about them and I haven't looked. They used to have a restaurant called Rotten Grapes. And everything they did down there for Rotten Grapes was to help out their. Their charity for their Rottweilers. Damn it. Where is it? It's a great email. Didn't print. You sons of. Right in front of me. I was prepared. And then I wasn't. I was. Oh, it is. Is that why? Man, I can find it that way. Hold on. R O T T I.

The Rotten Rotty rescue. That's what we need to do.

[Brady Bogan]

Rotten Roddies.

[John Holmberg]

They're awesome. But Brandon, I did a couple of.

[Brady Bogan]

Things with her at Porkopolis.

[John Holmberg]

They're the best. And so I hadn't heard from him for A while. And I talked to a lady at the Tuesday night show and her husband Brandon said, I just want to let you know that Rotten Roddies is up and running Strong. They have 20 dogs in their system that need homes and a lot of them are kept at the owner's house in Gilbert. They have a huge cul de sac lot and the dogs are sectioned off parcels, air conditioned houses. They treat them great. And I knew about these in there.

[Brady Bogan]

Twice and it is. They do a great job.

[John Holmberg]

They're the best.

They have adopted this. This person Brandon has adopted four pups from. Just want to let us know that they're up and running because he heard me talking about it and I talked about. I don't know if it'll. I talked about them or talked to this lady on Tuesday night at the Palladio show and I just thought, oh, I'm so happy they're still around. The Rotten Grapes is a great restaurant. It's just they had a lot going on and then I think Covid happened and screwed everything up. But Rotten Rotties is still around. And if you want to ever deal with rotty adoption and you, you do not have to go through breeders. That's my point with all this stuff. There's another awesome deal there. Adopt as much as you can. Don't shop. I am not a person who has ever, you know, I'm loyal to the people I know. And I just think that when people do great things, charity shouldn't have competition. That's why I work with the Humane Society. Lost her home Pet rescue Rotten Rotties. If they want to do anything with us, we'll be glad to do it. I love Incredible Stella. My friend Erica runs that and she's just awesome. And what she's doing is an amazing thing. If you ever read her.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of people don't realize even, you know, specific breeds.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. You do not have to breed. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That have them.

[John Holmberg]

I was at that. I got a little upset, but I was at that Kurt Warner charity and I loved the charity. Was for a great cause. But one of the auction items was a eugenics dog. You pick the eye color, you pick the hair color, you pick the birth date. You do that. I'm like this. And of course Megan's there and she goes, adopt. And I'm like, no, no, no. Not the place, not the place. We can't save them all. And that's the goal you have to get in your mind. But Rotten Roddy's is back and I'm so happy to hear that it's amazing. And on the heels of that, the. The pick of the litter from Lost Her Home Pet rescue is a dog named Carbone. I did yesterday. And Carbone. I say this in the most flattering possible way. Carbone is dumb. This is a dumb, fun dumb, but it's the dumb. Like, I'm just a dog. Like, it's that dumb. It's not like he's gonna go check out, like, you know, my dog Jack Ham side eyes me every once in a while. Like, what are you looking at? He's too smart for his own good. He figures things out. Like, he'll realize on the other side of this wall is. Whereas Carbone is the type of dog just stares at the wall and goes, where's. What happened to my ball? Like, if it goes behind the wall, he doesn't know where it is. But, you know, the smarter dogs be like, I can figure that out. They. You know when a dog is smart and when it's dumb, you know how to test that. When they're puppies, you put a towel over their head. If they lay down, they're dumb. If they find their way out, they're smart, and they're just like, well, this is my new existence. That's Carbon. He's awesome. He's like half Rottweiler, half black lab. He's about 71 pounds. He's not big. He looks like my dog Jack Ham. If Jack Ham hit the gym, he's about the same, but he's just got this bulk about him. But his face is like, whatever you want to do. I'm in. He loves dogs. He loves people. He loves everything.

[Brady Bogan]

Didn't hurt.

[John Holmberg]

I feel exactly. It's okay. I'm okay. He's just that dopey dog, and it's. You know when you say, I don't think there's anybody home, he's not crazy dumb. He's just sort of a dumb dog. Like, in the most awesome Disney way you can imagine. He's available. He's the pick of the litter. Please, by all means, go grab him, because this dog is cool. He's like 2, 2, 3 years old, max. I don't even know if he's that old, but he just kind of looked at me like, okay, what do you want to do? I'm like, man, this dog, you can see it in his eyes. He's just a dog. Some of them you look at, you're like, he's up to no good. He's gonna. He's gonna. He's gonna be Able to open doors.

My dog Jack and Bus.

Bus is sort of a dumb dog, like in the ways of just being a dog. Like when he becomes a dog, he's the dumbest dog in the world. He just is dog. But then when he's not just a dog, he figures things out. He's learned how to open sliding glass doors and he's taught Jack that handles open doors. He loves opening doors. But he's got his buddy in on it now. And prior to Bus living in the house, they didn't open doors. And now doors with handles get open. So if I don't have a twist door, I've just got like a handle door done. We gotta lock that. He can figure out it all. Bus is kind of showing him like that's how you get in and out, dummy. And now Jack reaches and. And the doors open. You don't have that problem with Carbone. He won't ever figure that out. I can tell by the look of him. Check it out. 98kupd.com and go to the pick of the litter. Drop down. And if Carbone's not right, Chalky's still in there, Keanu's still in it. They got so many dogs and amazing. But I will say this as we go forward. Don't buy someone else a pet for Christmas.

Just don't. They're not gifts, they're responsibilities for years. So make sure that the person you're getting the dog for is like, I need a dog. I want a dog. I want to. And let them get in on it too. Because a lot of times Christmas ends up in a bunch of pet returns in January. Don't do it. And if you're getting your kid a dog, realize you're getting yourself the dog. Your kid's not going to do anything. You're cleaning up the crap, you're paying the vet bills, you're feeding it. Your kid may say it wants a dog, but you're getting yourself a dog. So no gifts.

[Brady Bogan]

They keep playing these national kennel contests where the dog best in show.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That keeps the breeding going.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I mean you think about it.

[John Holmberg]

It does. And as much as you see those.

[Brady Bogan]

AKC dogs, whatever the toy section, the working dogs, they're. They're really cool looking and you still.

[John Holmberg]

Have that factor of keeping the breed alive. To keep showing is a double edged sword because you want to keep the breed alive. But then they have litters of six or seven and they're siring these things.

[Brady Bogan]

And one of them becomes really popular.

[John Holmberg]

Opens up Other breeders, you know, it would stop and this is weird. Horse racing would end if we had shelters in every city of hundreds and hundreds of horses. Like they wouldn't do it. Yeah, I don't know. For some reason, dogs, we just keep going. So please, by all means, if you need to adopt a dog, there's a half rotty black lab that's one of the coolest looking dogs I've ever seen. It lost our home pet rescue along with all the others. And if you absolutely must have a rottweiler, rotten rotty rescue is an awesome place to go. So many good ones. So thank you for emailing me, Brandon and letting me know that they're all still up and running. That's awesome. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report brought to you by allprochade.com if you want to get on over there, go to their showroom and be careful. Any loud sounds you hear in the background, ask no questions. But you can go through everything. Talk to Robert and the guys over there about putting some shades at your place. If you email them and they'll come out to your house and they'll come up with a design that is going to make your house a knockout. Get that shade or a blind or that TV on the back patio that you can only watch at night because it's glare all day. They'll. They'll fix that with some sort of incredibly attractive screen on your windows.

[Brady Bogan]

I can do that.

[John Holmberg]

They got everything. They can do it all and maybe even kevlar screens on your window. From what I'm hearing about them, they've got a whole back room they can do different things with. They're awesome people doing awesome stuff, making your house better. And they'll throw in a free heater if you get a motorized shade from them right about now. It's a little special around the holidays, so check it out. All pro shade.com Brady report it.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world.

[John Holmberg]

We've made it tight.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy national. Communicate with your kids today.

[John Holmberg]

I think I, I think I actually I might have Jew wizard that one too. I, I told you what you need to talk to your kids about. If they're 17, they're trying to squirt. They're not calling you because they love you. They're calling you to see much time they have before you get home. They're sending you on errands to Chick Fil A. I don't know what's with Chick Fil A. And you parents that keep getting it for them raising canes and Chick Fil A.

[Brady Bogan]

Age appropriate.

High school.

[John Holmberg]

Bottom line is if your kids are calling you and they're in high school and they're like, will you stop off and get me? They've got 10 minutes till they squirt and they're. They're running you on a goose chase so they can clean up the evidence. Don't be stupid. Talk to your kids today because they're giving old fashioneds like no one's business.

[Brady Bogan]

It's also National Blue Jean Day.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Should be every day.

[Brady Bogan]

A couple of basis fun facts. I think we know this. A group of pugs is called a puggle. A grumble.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

In Holland a pug is called a mopsand which comes from the Dutch word for to grumble.

There are three current NBA teams that have won every NBA finals they've played in.

[John Holmberg]

Say it again.

[Brady Bogan]

Three current NBA teams that have won every NBA finals they've played in.

[John Holmberg]

The Raptors.

[Brett Vesely]

It's got to be correct.

[Brady Bogan]

2019.

One finals and they won it.

[John Holmberg]

The Bucks.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what I was gonna say.

[John Holmberg]

No, there's only three. How come it's taking so long to find this?

[Brady Bogan]

Because I was looking at the other two because the first ones, it's pretty easy.

[John Holmberg]

When I say bucks, you should only have two to look at. That took too long.

[Brady Bogan]

It's in 2023.

[John Holmberg]

The 23 team that won it all.

[Brady Bogan]

One of them? Yep.

[John Holmberg]

I'm trying to think of like what's 2023's winner wasn't Dallas. Dallas has lost.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I can't remember who won 2023 just two years ago.

[Brady Bogan]

Nuggets.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Denver. Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

And the 13.

[John Holmberg]

It's only one though. The trailers lost to the Bulls. Sonics. No, they lost to the Bulls too.

It's a dumb one.

[Brady Bogan]

No, it's not.

[John Holmberg]

It isn't.

[Brady Bogan]

They're 6, 0.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. The Pistons?

[Brady Bogan]

Nope.

[Brett Vesely]

Who?

[Brady Bogan]

The Bulls.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the Bulls. That's right.

[John Holmberg (show intro/outro)]

John holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 kupd.

[John Holmberg]

It's john holmberg from the morning sickness. And football season is in full swing. And underdog is the biggest, best place to get in on all the action. Playing on underdog is easy. Just pick whether your favorite player is going to go higher or lower on stats like rushing yards, receptions, touchdowns. This week I'm looking at my Steelers and I am selecting Darnell Washington to go higher than one touchdown and hoping that Lamar Jackson goes lower on rushing yards. Download the app today. Sign up with promo code HMS to score a hundred dollars in bonus entries when you play your first $5 underdog make picks win money must be 18 plus, 19 plus in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 plus in Colorado for 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where Underdog Fantasy operates terms. Apply the assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and get terms. Underscore dfs underscore.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call the 24.7Hope line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text Hope NY 467-369.

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg (show intro/outro)]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, it's too obvious. Sat in front of us too. Obviously I would have playoffs.

[Brett Vesely]

I was like, they lost the Knicks when Jordan was out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I was trying to think of teams like the Magic and the Thunder like newer teams because I don't know 60s basketball at all. Like, I know the Celtics won everything, but.

Yeah, I guess they've all pretty much been bounced once. The Bulls are 6 0. Damn it.

[Brady Bogan]

To build the great pyramid of Giza today, it would take more than 2,000 workers. Five years in the cost, they're estimating 5 billion.

[Brett Vesely]

I just 3D print that thing and be done.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true.

[Brady Bogan]

Google. Google's annual year in search rundown. Sampen. This year the top searches included Labubus.

[Brett Vesely]

The hell's that?

[John Holmberg]

Exactly? Because parents and people our age have to search Labubus. They exploded these new dolls. Patch dolls.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Basically a new trend of dolls that kids went nuts for.

[Brett Vesely]

Thank you, Dr. Lynn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no kidding. We never have to know what those.

[Brady Bogan]

Are ever top searches we googled in order. Charlie Kirk, K Pop, Demon hunters, Labubu Toys. Number three, i17, iPhone.

One big beautiful act.

[John Holmberg]

People. People were checking out the bills. The big beautiful bill.

At least somebody read it.

[Brady Bogan]

The government shut down FIFA Club, World cup and tariffs. Tariffs were big.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They still operated with getting money. We don't even know where it's coming from. We just have money loading up. Did you see me go to sleep a couple times during Marco's speech yesterday? Not a good look for a guy who's been talking about Sleepy Joe for a long time. Went to sleep. But Marco's boring. I like my Rubio's. Speaking Spanish with handcuffs. Getting on a plane, going home.

[Brady Bogan]

The top. Why do kids say searches.

[John Holmberg]

Six, seven, number one. And yeah, they've got you by the balls with that one. They're saying it so you don't know what they're talking about.

They've gotcha. The parents are screwed on that one because it actually doesn't mean anything to the kids. But you're so busy thinking it's fentanyl code. And what they're really doing is distracting with 6, 7. While their real fentanyl code goes under the radar, which is K Pop stories.

[Brady Bogan]

We Googled no Kings protests. Los Angeles fires the new Pope. The Epstein files. Still. Hurricane Melissa was up there.

[Brett Vesely]

Which one was that? Was that the Puerto Rico one down there?

[John Holmberg]

Just Jamaica. I don't know. Maybe the one that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't clobber Jamaica. If it doesn't hit the States, we don't care.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Pantone's color of the year was announced.

[John Holmberg]

Yellow.

[Brady Bogan]

You're not far off. But it's not even considered. It's. It's white. But they're calling it Cloud Dancer. But it's toilet paper. White.

[John Holmberg]

That's. It was pretty far from yellow.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that in the 64 box of Crayola's sharpener on the back or what?

[John Holmberg]

White. Was white. The most unusable crayon ever. There were 63 crayons and then white.

You needed black paper for it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Who had that?

[Brady Bogan]

Last year's was Mocha Moose.

[John Holmberg]

You had to go buy that construction paper. And then the white crayon always looked like crap. You had to push harder. Made that mushy wax.

[Brett Vesely]

Gotta keep sharpening it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Push so damn hard.

[John Holmberg]

Sharpener was awesome though. That was our technology. Oh, yeah. Yeah. One of the kids got iPhones and we got a pencil sharpener for wax.

[Brady Bogan]

One of the most requested fetishes of the Year.

[John Holmberg]

Tickle My Bum.

Breathing. Peeing and butt breathing.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. La Magnia.

[John Holmberg]

Probably not that.

[Brady Bogan]

Pit porn. Licking armpits.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, hey, that's a thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Great.

[Brady Bogan]

And evidently gotten pretty popular this year.

[John Holmberg]

Licking the pits.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. You're an if you do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We got bored with all the regular holes. We're trying to drill creases now.

[Brady Bogan]

Still popular, though, is pegging and feet content.

Water sports.

[John Holmberg]

Is Snorting Loads in the top five? Because that became new to us last year about this time.

[Brady Bogan]

It doesn't have that on the.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good band name.

[Brady Bogan]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

Snorting Loads is a good band name.

[Brett Vesely]

I can't believe during Palladio, nobody came up with a band like one of ours. One of our band names.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Snort and Load should have won it. In fact, if we could change the Thomas James Band name to Snorting Loads. In fact, I just did, by the way. Sorry, guys. The way Katie and the Hobbs is miles to nowhere.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Thomas James Band is Snorting Loads, AKA Snorting Loads. In fact, call yourself AKA Snorting Loads. No one will care why you have. You don't have a real name.

I like that.

[Brady Bogan]

And now it's time for some science news.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, do you have it?

[Brett Vesely]

Apparently, that's me.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Go get him.

[Brady Bogan]

Hello, my friends. Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news.

We got a dentist that says the reason why people have the fear of going to the dentist is because of that sound the drill makes.

[John Holmberg]

It hurts.

[Brady Bogan]

So she's developing a drill that's silent.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, that's great. That's a good thing. But the reason we're afraid of dentists is because it used to be a torture.

[Brady Bogan]

It's called odontophobia.

[John Holmberg]

And the word drill and tooth care, your brain is supposed to react with. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.

[Brady Bogan]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Just change the name of it to the tooth softener or something like that. Don't call it a drill. That's dewalt.

[Brett Vesely]

I think that the sound does affect. It does.

[John Holmberg]

It's horrible.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, it just adds to it.

[John Holmberg]

It's having someone in your mouth and their face is within inches and they've got a screen mask on. It looks horrifying. It's torture. That scene from the Running Man. Or not the Running man, but the Marathon Man. Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

I watched it about a month ago.

[John Holmberg]

It's horrible.

[Brady Bogan]

And then.

[John Holmberg]

It's horrible. The dent didn't.

[Brady Bogan]

After the drilling. And he's running with his mouth open.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You just know the nerve. Whistling through the holes.

Do yourself a Favor and torture your brain with the Marathon Man. That scene is horrifying.

[Brett Vesely]

Never seen it.

[John Holmberg]

You haven't? Oh man. It's one of the best relatable tortures ever. Because this dude does some dentistry on the guy. And I mean not like it's.

[Brady Bogan]

What's it about?

[John Holmberg]

I remember the plot. I just remember that. I remember that scene that lived with. I haven't seen it for years. What is it about?

[Brady Bogan]

Safe.

[John Holmberg]

I don't remember.

[Brady Bogan]

It's about the guy that's a Nazi war criminal.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right. Is it Lawrence Olivier and who else? Who's the other guy?

[Brady Bogan]

Angel.

[John Holmberg]

Who's the other guy?

[Brady Bogan]

Dustin Hoffman. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Hoffman. Yeah. It's. It's awesome. It's a good movie. But I know of course I don't remember any details outside of that.

[Brady Bogan]

You're kind of baffled for the.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think so.

[Brady Bogan]

That's bulk of the movie trying to figure out or asking this question and.

[John Holmberg]

Not has Gregory Pax not it. Who the hell is the other guy anyway? Figure it out. But Marathon Man's worth it. Old movie weekend if you want to have it just for the dentistry seat.

[Brady Bogan]

A study found that just smelling fatty foods while pregnant might up your kids risks of being overweight later in life.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They can get it because you're a pig. You know why I wonder if this is real.

[Brady Bogan]

They gotta study more on it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I'll speculate on why. Is because when you smell fatty foods and your mom. Right. And your body gives that a positive endorphin to you, the kid gets a little taste of that. So fatty foods then probably get eaten after you smell them. Doubt that. Your mom's just walking by lots of fatty foods without taking a nibble. And with the positive endorphin rush that the little womb's getting, then she piles in some bacon and then it's good. And you're like oh, this is. There's probably something innate with that being in the womb and mom having a good time like smelling stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

I think that's.

[Brady Bogan]

Wonder what if I had Jones for chardonnay or did your.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Did your parents live near a bakery?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Just.

[Brady Bogan]

No. But you know, slaughterhouse or.

They'Re near hungry Herman's. That wasn't far away.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They drive by enough to where in the womb. You're like that's it.

[Brady Bogan]

My lot is sealed. Another study found cats learned to meow louder at men than they do it women because guys just aren't great listeners.

[John Holmberg]

That's not true.

[Brady Bogan]

They say women are also more likely to pick up on subtle body language clues that make meowing less necessary.

[John Holmberg]

You mean overreact to everything? Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Russia can't send people to space for a while. Their latest blast off destroyed their only launch pad.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they only have one in that giant country?

[Brady Bogan]

I guess so.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta get on there.

[Brady Bogan]

And Blue Origin announced their next tourism launch. It'll include the first person in a wheelchair ever to space. In space.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that Bezos?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Blue Origin.

We found lightning on Mars for the first time.

A study also found that time passes slightly faster on Mars than it does on Earth.

A study at UC Berkeley found chimpanzees ingest way more alcohol from fermented fruit than we thought. They say it's the equivalent of two beers a day.

[John Holmberg]

Just. Just going.

And that's why they're so strong. They're drunk all the time. Time they want to fight. They're like little Irish, little Irishman in.

[Brett Vesely]

The little Mick hats on the chimps.

[John Holmberg]

Let's do it. Put Mick hats on them and let them. They'll box and stuff and then just tell you at the end they start crying.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm sorry.

[John Holmberg (show intro/outro)]

John holmberg's Morning Sickness. The 98 KUPD.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Brady from HMS. And I would always hear guys talk about their testosterone levels, But I didn't know much more than that. That changed when I went to the Game Day men's health clinic and found out what my testosterone level was. Game Day's on lab was quick and easy. And I found out that I was an ideal candidate for testosterone treatment. Game Day offers other men's health solutions like hgh, peptide therapy and sexual health treatments. All you have to do is visit one of the 12 game day men's health clinics in the valley or check out gamedaymenshealth.com it's time to get back in the game, guys.

[Mrs. Claus]

Thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree, Zoe.

[John Holmberg]

This thing weighs a ton. Lift with your legs, man. Santa.

[Brady Bogan]

Santa, did you get my letter?

[John Holmberg]

He's talking to you, Bridges.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not.

[Mrs. Claus]

Of course he did.

[Brady Bogan]

Right, Santa, you know my elf Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list.

[John Holmberg]

And elf, I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T Mobile, you can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies. Right, Mrs. Claus?

[Mrs. Claus]

I'm Mrs. Claus much younger sister. And AT T Mobile, there's no trade in needed when you switch. So you can keep your old phone.

[John Holmberg]

Or give it as a gift.

[Mrs. Claus]

And the best part, you can make the switch to T mobile from your phone in just 15 minutes.

[John Holmberg]

Nice. My side of the tree is slipping. Kimber.

[Dick Toledo]

The holidays are better.

[John Holmberg]

@T mobile switch in just 15 minutes.

[Dick Toledo]

And get iPhone 17 on us with no trade in needed. And now T mobile is available in.

[John Holmberg]

US cellular stores with 24 month legal credits for well qualified customers plus tax and $35 vice connection charge credits and imbalance due if you pay off earlier. Cancel financing agreement. 256 gauge, $830 eligible board in a new line. $100 plus a month plan with auto pay plus taxes and fees required. Check out 15 minutes or less per line. Visit T mobile.

[John Holmberg (show intro/outro)]

Dot Comberg's morning sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

Exercise loose.

[John Holmberg]

Got to blame it on the alcohol. I've got a little bit of a problem.

[Brady Bogan]

Now it's time to play guess the perp.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the color or just. Okay? Yes, guess the color. Is that what we're doing?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, you can just guess.

[John Holmberg]

Just describe them. Okay. But most of the time, 73 year.

[Brady Bogan]

Old guy from Mississippi, black.

Tried to buy a 10th, 10 month old baby at an auction.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that one. Yeah, that throws it in there.

[John Holmberg]

Dude ain't buying a baby. He's been running from that his whole life.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, so. No, that's not it.

[Brady Bogan]

Howell. Penton is his name.

[John Holmberg]

Howell Penton. 73, he's buying babies. He's in Mississippi. Did he have a box guitar?

[Brett Vesely]

Does it play a washboard or a jug?

[John Holmberg]

Washboard. Doug, what are we looking at? Does he have anything with three X's on it that he calls an instrument?

[Brady Bogan]

Yahoo.

[John Holmberg]

What kind of car?

[Brady Bogan]

Say the car. They just met him at the auction.

[John Holmberg]

How will Penton wait.

[Brett Vesely]

They have an auction for this?

[Brady Bogan]

For babies he thought he could buy. He.

[John Holmberg]

He's white? Yeah, I was just gonna say.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

So Bear Jackson's missing out.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe he approached somebody that was part of this auction. Says, are you selling kids?

[John Holmberg]

Time out. We still have people auctions in Mississippi. I thought that ended with Lincoln.

[Brady Bogan]

Washington, Paris Parish.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so his name is Howell. What?

[Brady Bogan]

Howell Penton.

[John Holmberg]

Howell is such a hillbilly white.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, he's. He's the mountain dew guy.

[John Holmberg]

73 though.

Selling babies. Now, not to be too stereotypical, but getting rid of babies. There's one group that I think is really good.

I'm gonna go with an old black man. Mississippi is the reason why he's an old. What is that? What is that?

[Brady Bogan]

Mountain Dew guy?

[John Holmberg]

Is that a white guy? I can't tell.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a black.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. All right. Brett wins. That is more Mountain Dew than Black guy. That was a tough one. Yeah, it was the Mississippi thing. Old Mississipp always throw it off.

[Brady Bogan]

Second one. Gainesville, Florida.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, 50 years old.

[Brady Bogan]

He's in trouble for throwing a log through a car. His Name's William Riley. 50 years old.

[John Holmberg]

Gainesville, Gainesville, Florida.

[Brady Bogan]

Upset. His lady threw a log through the window. The car just missed her.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she was in it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good throw.

Gainesville. Gainesville's north, isn't it?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I think in that panhandle, isn't it?

[John Holmberg]

I don't think it's up that high. Maybe I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go to the full white redneck on this one. Big belly, no shirt.

Willie Ryan. Jesus. He's a skinny black man. I had no doing there. Come on.

[Brett Vesely]

What is he doing there?

[John Holmberg]

Throwing logs at people like John Trill Willis.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I'm listening.

[John Holmberg]

He looks like. Yeah, he's thin. And I pictured a fat little white man. Little 50 year old, like. Like if you and Mike Broomhead had a baby.

[Brady Bogan]

Whoa. Man.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I thought of. Damn it. I was way off. Technical. Tactical. Yeah, Tactical. Tactical. Tactical.

[Brady Bogan]

Tactical.

[John Holmberg]

Trump.

[Brady Bogan]

Quiet.

[John Holmberg (show intro/outro)]

Trump.

[John Holmberg]

Tactical. Trump. Quiet.

I'm on KJR right now. Kick. Trump. Quiet. Kjr. Tactical. Tactical. Tactical. Amazing. Arizonans.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know if you saw the new ad from Columbia Sportswear. It features the CEO, Tim Boyle, challenging flat Earthers. He says, if you guys claim that there's an end to the earth.

I'll give you the company.

[John Holmberg]

Not like the end of. But like there's a. Yeah, like an edge. Banality to an edge.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He'll give you the whole company if you can prove it. You know what flat Earthers never do? Invent rockets. Flat Earthers know that if they ever invented a rocket, they'd be screwed.

[Brady Bogan]

And it's clever because on the challenge, he goes, you know, if you're going to prove it to me.

You'Ll need to go out and do that. You'll need to wear some quality clothing, outdoor clothing. Columbia.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. How much does that guy have? The Columbia owner? Well, see, a billionaire, probably.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know about a billionaire, but pretty close. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So he could get himself a real nice boat and say, all right, flat Earthers, every. All aboard and let's sail to the end.

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

He claims that he'll give the whole company away, Willy Wonka style to anyone that can go to the edge of the earth. The flat earth. Take a photo of it.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, he needs to be in on this. He needs to get a boat, only flat earthers are on it and say, let's sail to the edge and prove you guys right. If this thing has to stop and turn around, I'm giving you the company and the boat.

If not, you need to publicly shut the up about the flat earth thing.

Prove it to them. Let him sail all over and say, I'll give you 50 grand a year. He's got tons of money. I'll give you 50 grand for the year to sit on my boat and leave your job. Sit on. Because nobody. Flat earthers, nobody's making more than 50 grand a year. They're all poor. That's why. None of that. They're crazy and they're poor.

[Brady Bogan]

Someone noted that in the fine print, the company refers to the company LLC with assets which are valued at a hundred thousand dollars.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so he doesn't want to get sued too hard.

Bottom line is, when you say put up or shut up to a flat earther, they just start screaming, you're sheep. Like, well, then prove it to me. Can't prove it with not your drawings. Prove it with something you didn't draw. Get. Let's get on the boat. Find.

[Brady Bogan]

Jump on that guy from that Goliath expedition.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that dude. He's proven it, even walking around and made it all the way.

Flat earthers. Put up or shut up. Flat earthers.

The other thing, and I talked about this with Dave Nash on the sports podcast, the A. John Holmberg podcast.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, you said you had an interesting one for him.

[John Holmberg]

Chemtrails, right?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And everybody's talking about the chemtrails, and they're like, oh, again?

[Brady Bogan]

Or they jump back up.

[John Holmberg]

Brought up again.

[Brady Bogan]

Because I asked him about that.

[John Holmberg]

And what's his answer? Oh, it's happening. Bill Gates is behind it. And I'm like, wouldn't it affect Bill Gates just randomly raining down chemicals from airplanes? And he. And his answer was this. Exactly.

He doesn't care.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, come on.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brett Vesely]

Then why do it?

[John Holmberg]

All the people that want chemtrails to make us die are getting rained on, too. So his answer then later changed to, he calls ahead and says, no chemtrails in Seattle today, please.

And I'm like, so there's multiple. So there's loads of people in on it, and not one whistleblower's ever come out and said, bill Gates calls me every Tuesday and says he's coming to Seattle. I got to kill the chemtrails today. Nobody's talking. Every time there's a whistle, they kill Him. I'm like, nobody's ever said, hey, my husband used to work for Bill Gates and release the chemtrails. And then he got killed.

[Brady Bogan]

The trick is whenever he goes outside, no planes in sight. Maybe, but that would have been better.

[John Holmberg]

I. I don't discount that. There's probably something happening with something. But the chemtrail thing is too random. Like it, let's just rain down. And then he said it's all just to control the weather. And he spun it somehow onto all those kids that died in that flood in Texas. That's what I part of chemtrails. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

About it.

[John Holmberg]

That it got out of hand and the chemtrails briefly open. Oh, it's hard to. Nash is fun. We do five minutes with a madman at the end of the sports podcast and let him have at some topic and it's insane. And then he calls me a Satanist and an elitist and it's so. And then the podcast ends.

Because I told him I'd take money to like fly the chemtrail plane. It's because you're a Satanist. Because you're. Because you're an evil elitist. And I'm like, maybe. I don't know. But it sounds fun that I would. I can control the weather. Give me that plane. You're Satanist. I can make floods. I'm God elitist. You're a Satan elitist. And I'm like, maybe that's cool.

[Brett Vesely]

How does Dale handle this?

[John Holmberg]

Dale and I both laugh the whole time because it gets so worked up. It's just the last five minutes of the show. Yesterday was about 11 and a half minutes, him going on and somehow chemtrails turned into 911 Covid Epstein Island. He got lost. He was ping ponging all over and it was fun.

It's the sports thing. A John Holmberg podcast available where you find. Find podcasts. I giggled for hours on that one. But the chemtrails thing doesn't make sense to me. Everybody, that's for. It's like, yep, they're making us all dumb. Who? The elites. Like, aren't they down here with us? Well, yeah, but they, they, they're unaffected.

[Brady Bogan]

He's kind of like Chris Berman. Answer with conspiracy.

[John Holmberg]

What you hit the chemtrails. Go. But then Bill Gates calls ahead, said, I'm going to be in San Francisco. Kill the chemtrails today. So every city he's in, he has to call ahead. So there's a guy in every city that's in on. Yep. The Elites. The massage. Oh, I tell you right now that the massage comes to me. Whoop, whoop. Chemtrail trip.

[John Holmberg (show intro/outro)]

Rumbling, rumbling.

[John Holmberg]

Stumbling dead and getting the range down, but not on them. And so they get upset when you say, okay, the chemtrails are raining down on all of us. And he can call ahead and stop. How do I get into that crew?

[Brady Bogan]

That millionaire?

[John Holmberg]

He's unaffected. I'm okay. Cool. How do I work for him then? To where I'm now no longer affected by the chemtrail? It elitist. Satanist. Satan elite.

[Brady Bogan]

In what level?

[John Holmberg]

I would rather be on the team that's dropping chemtrails than the one that's getting coded in them. Right. So how do I join that? Nobody ever asked. The conspiracy theorists. Oh, you know all this. Can you give me a number? I'd like to be on their team. I don't want to be one of those sheep. I want to be in their squad. Yeah, we got to stop them. Like, nope. I want to be part of it, because I don't know how. If they're that organized, I want in. And then every pilot, every major airline. Yeah, every major airline has to be like, don't forget the chemtrail button for the pilots. And nobody said anything.

What's this button do? Oh, this regulates your airspeed and everything. What's this green one over here? Oh, that drops chemtrails on the sheep.

[Brady Bogan]

Flight 1789, you're clear for chemtrails.

[John Holmberg]

Satanist elite. We'll be right back. One more chemtrail. Nonsense.

[John Holmberg (show intro/outro)]

I'm gonna blitz John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

But, yeah, he gets nuts. Whenever you get him, he starts going. His arms go in the air like somebody's beating him.

[Brady Bogan]

Satan, Dave, you're telling me Oprah and Tom Hanks, they drink, baby.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's the thing. Oh, yeah, they eat, baby. Oh, they're killing and eating. I mean, I heard that before, but I didn't know he was in on every single conspiracy. The guy on the podcast with me, he is in, and we give him five minutes to scream it at the end, right? And he's big on the chemtrails. And sometimes he's just like Alex Jones. He makes a lot of sense until he doesn't, and then it's just hilarious.

You don't argue about those chemtrails. You see that? And the thing that they said about frogs being gay. People took that little snippet from Alex Jones. Yeah, it's Real?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The stuff in the water is making frogs able to mate with themselves and asexual. And a boy frog can bang another boy frog and they can go, don't worry about it. The chemicals in the water made it so I make babies now. It's like, oh, they're making the frogs gay. That's where it went crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

And that's where they're going to put it into the kids.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because they're trying to make it. Yeah, but they wouldn't be asexual. They would be.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what he was kind of.

[John Holmberg]

But they know they make it so their genders are asexual to the opposite. They have all over. Yeah, they have all of it. Whatever they call that when they're. When you're everything, you got. You got the eggs and you got the wieners and you got the working hermaphrodites. Yeah, that's right. Functional hermaphrodites. I know that's not correct, but I like it.

As a country as you and you switch rains down dumb. You suck it up. How come they're not affected? They're unaffected because they call ahead. To who? The chemtrail societies. They have to build buildings for that. So the contractors have built the building for the chemtrail. The hotline, the chemtrail hotline. So Bill Gates can call. Somebody on the construction crew is like, what are we building here? That's a chemtrail hotline. Hey, Bill Gates calls here. Just where he's going to be. You turn off the chemtrail.

[Brady Bogan]

I can't remember on the flat earth thing.

[John Holmberg]

Flat earth thing needs to be a put up or shut up. Because I've said it for years. What if they're right, but none of them invent rockets because all flat earthers are poor. There's an. A rich flat Earther out there. Not one. Because if you were dedicated to being.

[Brady Bogan]

A couple of the NBA players were.

[John Holmberg]

No, Shaq made a joke about it. And I think it was Shumpert and a couple other guys. Like, I believe the earth is flat as well. And it was just to make people go, what? But they don't have rocket building money. Elon Musk says the earth is flat. We're going to find out. And so far it's the other way. Never once did one of these private people go up into space. And I've asked him, I'm like, what about, I understand if it's only government authorized rockets. But like, we've got private rockets now. How come none of them have gone off and go. Hey, that thing's not round at all.

[Brett Vesely]

It.

[John Holmberg]

They're in on it.

[Brady Bogan]

Light reflect.

[John Holmberg]

They're elitist, too. And what's the end goal of having a round or flat earth? So what?

I told you so. Put up her. Shut up. Put up a. Shut up.

[Brady Bogan]

I just have one pretty video.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

And you've got it.

[Brady Bogan]

Evil Kumar. He's Indian daredevil. Oh, jumping 11 Indians.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

What a dump. There are 11 Indians on the ground alone. And he's got a bicycle, I believe.

[Brady Bogan]

And there's kid on his shoulder.

[John Holmberg]

Another dude is riding him.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they have a drag flag on the back. Is that attached to the bike? That big flag? Here we go. Oh, there's a kid that's. Oh, they're. They're not even jumping them. He just rode over Indians. The record of riding a bicycle over the backs of Indians is eight.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a failure.

[John Holmberg]

Is it? Or is that the bar?

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe it is.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe it's a new racket entertained so easily.

[John Holmberg]

Over there.

They laid 11 Indians. They laid 11 Indians on the ground. And a guy tried to ride his bike like Whoop dee doos. And he made it to eight. And then they dumped the kid on his shoulders. Off to the back. Now, I'll tell you this. If that was going on here in the States, there'd be a crowd. But it would still have to be Indians. You can't. White people doing this wouldn't be fun at all. Crazy Third worlders have to perform these. Welcome to Checkass. They have a band. Flags.

[Brett Vesely]

Gonna call that a band?

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's what their band sound like. They've got, you know, like one of our Palladio bands.

[Brady Bogan]

But he would have made that easy if he was on a bike from Action.

[John Holmberg]

I was just gonna say, brought to you by Action Ride Shop. Is my bike fixed? Over at Action Ride Shop, it's the. I have 34 inch travel on it.

[Brady Bogan]

Just the last guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And because of that adjustment, the wheel stuck on the guy's head. He would have gotten over him.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he makes a bad turn when he runs over the eighth Indian. Bends the front fork.

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

He moves.

[John Holmberg]

There's a dude laying on his tummy and another guy just comes up and slides him like he's a piece of wood.

And then this Indian, at breakneck speeds of six or seven miles an hour, barely climbs eight of them. And then crashes on the last one.

[Brady Bogan]

It's the worst thing ever.

[Brett Vesely]

Pivot. He would have made it right over that thing.

[John Holmberg]

You got to get some travel suspension. Those fox suspension up front. Get 36. Get 3 or 4 inches of travel on that. You wouldn't even feel those Indians. I want to lay down 11 Indians on Trail 100 and take a ride. That is one of my favorite things I've seen in a while.

[Brady Bogan]

And then is the rope to. In case he's.

[John Holmberg]

That's the finish line, man.

[Brady Bogan]

Or is that to stop them when they.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he's going so fast. He has no. There's no brakes on that bike.

[Brett Vesely]

He doesn't have the Ron Cap chute coming out the back of it or anything.

[John Holmberg]

The blast bucket. That is awesome. And the kid on top is waving the flag. It's so hard to ride a bike with a flag that's aerodynamically terrible. That cut off about three miles an hour. I wonder if the record is specific. How many Indians can you run over with a boy on your back holding a large flag? You're on. Because the record without the boy and the flag is 35 Indians. But the flag has. It greatly diminishes the Indian crossing.

Let's go. All of us now. Take in water.

Now time for a humongous public. Follow me.

Oh, my goodness. That was awesome. I want that to be a sport.

[Brett Vesely]

Should do that. You fest next year.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just riding over Indians. Not you guys. Not slayer Indians. You know what I'm talking about? Not Cleveland or, you know, Washington.

[Brady Bogan]

Eastern Guardians.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

The guys at the call center. Discover. Discover. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Kevin and his friends.

[John Holmberg]

Kevin and the boys. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[Brett Vesely]

All right, we got strange ones today. Okay, here's some claustrophobia for you.

[John Holmberg]

This dude is naked and laying in under a plastic sheet that has.

[Brett Vesely]

They're sucking the air out.

[John Holmberg]

Just the air hole. And his penis is out of the. He is under some sort of plastic covering and. And what looks like he's trapped inside a waterbed. And then they've sucked all the air out of the mattress and he's got a breathing tube in his mouth. And then a wiener that is out. And they put a machine on top of the wiener.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I don't know what that is.

[John Holmberg]

It's. It's science fiction is what it is. And he's got a beautiful blonde lady naked right next to him. And he'd prefer being suffocated under a plastic mat and having the machine do the work rather than. Yeah, I'm with you, Peter Griffin. Holy crap is right. Told you.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know what it is. All right, that's a fiction.

[John Holmberg]

That's Jacob's ladder. Uh. Oh, the guy holding his wiener, he's got a circular saw. No, no, no, no. He's putting it next to his penis. His balls are in his hand. That's the tip of his wiener, and it's. Oh, he's feeling it. Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the bl Cut his wiener off right core center. Look at his pants. He's got terry cloth robe, underpants, and a clean slice. Oh, he's just holding his dismembered penis in his hand, and he hasn't even screamed. Brad, run.

[Brady Bogan]

Is he in a clown outfit?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's. I don't know what kind of outfit. My grandma used to wear a hat that looked like that. You know what it looked like? Those pussy hats from that march. He made pants out of those. They were, like, pink with little tassels.

[Brady Bogan]

After terry clothes.

[John Holmberg]

That was a tough one. All right, here we go.

[Brett Vesely]

This one's milk shooter versus butt funnel.

[John Holmberg]

On fanduel. Okay? She's shooting milk out of her bottom into a funnel that's being. That is in another person's butt. So it's milk from one butt into the funnel and being. And going into another butt.

I told you it was weird today.

[Brady Bogan]

Holy.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't even come up with that idea. It's more reasonable to say I've got two ideas. Guess what they are. Say, I don't know, you're gonna ride your bike over eight or nine Indians. I'm like, no, I'm gonna shoot milk out of my butt into a funnel into another butt.

[Brett Vesely]

Apparently, this is a dildo in a pee hole.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Oh, it's a. It's inside of a. Okay, so they've got one of those machines that opens holes up real big, and then there's, like, toys in it, and they're just being pushed in and out of this. All right, I can't watch.

What? Yeah, what was that thing? What was the thing that popped out of there? All right, let's watch it again. Okay, there's a little pee pee. A plastic pee pee that's making, like, weird appearances. Then that happens.

Are you okay? No, but he's okay. No one's okay. Grew up in my mouth. Yes. What?

[Brett Vesely]

That's it.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Wow.

[Brett Vesely]

I told you it was a strange one today.

[John Holmberg]

Holy cow. What was that sound?

Thank you.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm confused.

[John Holmberg]

I'm scared. It's out there with us right now. All right.

Thank you. All right.

My God. There goes your Brady Report.

[John Holmberg (show intro/outro)]

It's 98 Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

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