Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 12-05-25 (FULL SHOW – FRIDAY) | Summary

Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD
Date: December 5, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Guest: Demetri Martin (Comedian)
Notable Guest/Impressionist: Frank Caliendo

Episode Overview

This Friday’s episode of "Holmberg’s Morning Sickness" is a classic freeform ride—part personal storytelling, sharp social commentary, and edgy humor—with John Holmberg leading the crew through a wild night of family drama, comic real talk about teenagers and parenting, and plenty of riffing and impressions. The episode also features an interview with comedian Demetri Martin, who shares thoughts about comedy, family, and life, and closes out with an extended visit from Frank Caliendo, who brings his signature impressions and wild banter to the show. Along the way, the crew dives into prison stories, conspiracy theories, the generational gap, and more.

Main Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. Holmberg's Night of Insanity

Timestamp: 02:21 – 18:00

• Family Drama/Full Moon Madness:
  Holmberg recounts a chaotic evening involving his dad staying at his rental, a friend’s parents going silent (prompting a bizarre, frantic search), and a suspicious stranger at his rental home.

  • His dad’s paranoia when a man claims to have been falsely accused of rape and asks for help, resulting in his dad standing outside with a .308 rifle.
  • The "full moon" is blamed for all the night’s unusual activity, including heightened emotional distress, particularly among the women involved.
  • The generational divide over how often kids, especially teenagers, call their parents for trivial reasons was humorously dissected.
  • Quote:
    “I literally thought my best friend had been beheaded by the cartel and taken away… I was driving all over the place looking for these idiots. And they’re just on date night at Richardson’s.” (John, 09:51)
  • Memorable Bit: The mocking impression of a Russian-accented adult "kid" calling his mom at work to ask about sandwich meat.

• Teenager/Parent Phone Dynamic:
  Commentary on modern parenting and how teens constantly call parents for small things, which the hosts contrast with their own childhoods:

  • “Every parent I know now, kids are different these days. They don’t have sex. They don’t? Nope. …They call you and say, when are you coming home to get squirted in?” (John, 22:28)
  • The hosts emphasize that when teens are calling, they really just want to know when their parents will be gone so they can “get up to no good.”

2. Parenting, Teenagers & Teenage Sexuality

Timestamp: 18:00 – 34:00

• Blunt Talk About Teen Sex Lives:
  • Multiple jokes about teens, particularly daughters, being sexually active and parents' denial about it.
  • Repeated advice: “All daughters get ectoplasm on their hands and try to wash it off before they come home and kiss you good night.” (John, 32:47)
  • Ongoing riff on “taking squirts,” “mouth squirt,” handies, and risky teenage behavior.
• Reflection on Their Teen Years:
  “When you were 17, did you run home and tell [your parents] you just got a hand job in the back of a car? Nope. Never once.” (John, 79:41)
• Parental Naiveté:
  Skewering the idea that their own generation’s teens were less wild or more honest.

3. Neighborhood & Family Stories

Timestamp: 34:00 – 44:00

• More Dad Stories:
  • Maintaining lawns (“turf monster” psychological scarring from dad's obsession with a perfect lawn).
  • Dad’s influence extends to why John now prefers turf.
  • Quote:
    “There’s some psychological reasons why I’ve turfed everything. There’s a reason I can’t look at blades of grass that are out of place and not think that Dan’s gonna shoot over from Texas and go, ‘What's going on here?’” (John, 42:40)

4. LeBron James / GOAT Debate

Timestamp: 47:40 – 53:40

• Discussion of LeBron’s end to the 10+ point streak, John’s "Jew magic" jinx, and how he doesn’t consider LeBron truly an all-time “GOAT.”
• Quote (John, 49:13): “Nobody calls LeBron out on that. What a selfish jackass…”
• The hosts discuss Kareem, Jordan, Steph Curry as more impactful, and how title chasing and team hopping changed the argument.

5. Prison Stories & Criminal Culture

Timestamp: 53:40 – 71:00

• Vivid, comedic, and at times graphic stories about prison squalor, violence, and sex.
• Tales from listeners and their own families, including stories about:
  • Prison "twinks," dangerous inmates like "Banzai Bob," and the inventive (and grotesque) ways inmates create weapons and currency.
  • Conversation about how neither John nor hosts would survive prison, riffing on “full Epstein” if they were faced with certain situations.
• Quote: (On being a prison “bitch”)
  “This ass is currency in there, and I’m gonna use it. …That’s the reason I don’t commit crimes. Fear of prison behavior. No, thanks.” (John, 61:22)

6. Comedian Demetri Martin Interview

Timestamp: 123:19 – 146:37

• Demetri Martin joins live and is asked about career, family, and the quirks of comedy life.
• Discussion includes:
  • Demetri’s Greek heritage and growing up as a priest’s son.
  • Raising kids as a traveling comic, normalizing unusual family lives.
  • How every parent traumatizes their kids in different ways.
  • Thoughts on dull children, truth-telling as a service (“the Truth Fairy”), and dealing with parental bias.
  • Favorite bits and his approach to writing and performing.
• Memorable Moment:
  Demetri outlines his new Christmas album (being practiced/recorded in Phoenix).
• Quote (Demetri):
  “I feel like life, in terms of a structure, just has the tragic ending. But we're just trying so hard to make it a comedy.” (147:25)

7. Frank Caliendo's Impressions & Show Wrap-Up

Timestamp: 148:26 – end

• Frank Caliendo brings a barrage of impressions (Trump, John Gruden, Dick Vitale, Shaq, Morgan Freeman, Tracy Morgan, and more).
• Extended, raucous Guadalupe Squares with comedic impressions, banter about band names (e.g., “Snorting Loads”), and audience interaction.
• Frank shares stories about performing with athletes, New Year’s Eve shows, and his impressions on-demand.
• Closing segment hints at live shows and upcoming events.

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |---------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 09:51 | John Holmberg | “I literally thought my best friend had been beheaded by the cartel and taken away… And they’re just on date night...” | | 22:28 | John Holmberg | “They call you and say, when are you coming home to get squirted in?” | | 32:47 | John Holmberg | “All daughters get ectoplasm on their hands and try to wash it off before they come home and kiss you good night.” | | 42:40 | John Holmberg | “I can’t look at blades of grass that are out of place and not think that Dan’s gonna shoot over from Texas...” | | 49:13 | John Holmberg | “Nobody calls LeBron out on that. What a selfish jackass...” | 61:22 | John Holmberg | “This ass is currency in there, and I’m gonna use it… That’s the reason I don’t commit crimes.” | | 147:25 | Demetri Martin | “I feel like life, in terms of a structure, just has the tragic ending. But we're just trying so hard to make it a comedy.” |

Timestamps for Major Segments

• Opening/Ring Camera Story/Family Missing: 02:21 – 18:00
• Teenager/Parent Relationships & Sexuality: 18:00 – 44:00
• LeBron/GOAT Debate: 47:40 – 53:40
• Prison Stories & Dark Humor: 53:40 – 71:00
• Demetri Martin Interview: 123:19 – 146:37
• Frank Caliendo/Guadalupe Squares & Wrap: 148:26 – end

Tone & Style

The show maintains its trademark irreverent, sarcastic, boundary-pushing, and conversational tone throughout. The hosts consistently riff on each other, digress in wild directions, and are unafraid to cross risqué boundaries for comedic effect.

Memorable/Recurring Moments

• Running jokes about “squirting”, “handies,” and teen sexual activity.
• Frank Caliendo’s parade of impressions, especially Trump and Gruden, intertwined with local references.
• Riffing on prison “people zoos,” flat earthers, conspiracy nuts, and the “parental denial” about their teens’ behavior.
• Demetri Martin’s deadpan, insightful reflections on comedy, family, and the absurdity of life and parenting.

Takeaway For Listeners

This episode is a microcosm of what "Holmberg’s Morning Sickness" is known for: hilarious long-form personal storytelling, fearless (often raunchy) riffs on family and modern life, sharp guest interviews, and wild comedic performances. Even listeners unfamiliar with the show will quickly get a sense of the hosts’ personalities, perspectives, and why the show has built such a strong following in Arizona radio.