12-05-25 - Guad Squares - w/Frank Caliendo - The Lovitz's - Dick Vitale And Barkley - Trump - Berman And Stephen A Smith - Deaf Brady - Jon Gruden - Tracy Morgan And His Brother Tracy Mormon

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Guadalupe Squares w/ Frank Caliendo (12-05-25)

Episode Theme / Overview
This special edition of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" centers on the ever-popular "Guadalupe Squares" segment, featuring master impressionist Frank Caliendo. Alongside John Holmberg and the crew (Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo), Caliendo brings his arsenal of celebrity impressions—including Trump, Jon Gruden, Charles Barkley, Dick Vitale, and more—to a rapid-fire, raucous radio game show. The episode blends quick banter, biting satire, topical references, and the show's trademark irreverence, offering listeners a comedy-packed experience led by some of the best (and wildest) impressions in morning radio.

---

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter and Set-Up

• [01:21] Frank Caliendo’s New Year’s Eve appearance at Tempe Improv is promoted.
• Corey “Thriller” Walsh is introduced as the honorary “walker” for the Goliath Expedition, intended as an absurd, comedic fitness challenge for the show’s 25th anniversary.

“Thrillers Goliath Expedition, which will be themed…the constant theme song. …We should have you hold a speaker as well that plays this.” – John Holmberg [02:09]

2. Guadalupe Squares Begin – Celebrity Squares & Impressions

The core of the episode features quick, overlapping impressions from Frank Caliendo, with Holmberg and crew poking fun throughout.

Top Left: The Lovitzes

• Frank as Jon Lovitz, riffing with the crew about show appearances.
• Deadpan references to show favorite Megan, disability, and more.

“No, you don’t. We haven’t started the game yet.” – Jon Lovitz (Frank Caliendo) [04:05]

Top Middle: Dick Vitale & Charles Barkley

• Vitale (Caliendo) brings excitable sports jargon:
  • “He’s a diaper dandy! He doesn’t know what the game does anymore. Awesome, baby!” [04:32]
• Barkley riffs about male domestic violence and San Antonio women, moving into darkly comic territory.

“I’m the face of male domestic violence. Everyone should feel sorry for me.” – Barkley (Frank Caliendo) [05:16]
“That’s worse than those big old ladies in San Antonio.” – Barkley (Frank) [05:27]
“I haven’t done Dick Vitale in 20 years, baby. I don’t even know if it’s good.” – Caliendo as Vitale, meta-commentary [05:45]

Top Right: Donald Trump

• Caliendo as Trump offers a wild, non-sequitur board game riff:
  • Battleship, Monopoly, and “blowing up boats,” shifting into political satire.
  • Blends immigrant jokes, video game references, and classic Trump bravado.

“You sunk my battleship! …There’s a lot of boats…Have you ever played Battleship? I just sunk yours. …I’ll sing it again.” – Trump (Frank) [06:53]
“I go out and I find a porn star, and I play a little Candy Land, you know what I’m saying?” – Trump (Frank) [07:27]
“I’m the president of whatever I want to do. …President of the Earth.” – Trump (Frank) [07:52]

Middle Left: Berman and Stephen A. Smith

• Sportscenter’s Chris Berman and Stephen A. Smith go head-to-head.
• Playful banter about ESPN paychecks, exaggerated speech patterns, and morphing into Popeye:

“Nobody circles the bank vault like Stephen…” – Berman (Caliendo) [09:38]
“I’m Papa A Smith.” – Stephen A. Smith (Caliendo) [10:09]
“I’m contemplating it right now and trying to understand in vociferance. …Neither do I. …It’s just words that you make up, and people pay you more for it.” – Stephen A. Smith & Berman (Caliendo) [10:28]

Middle Square: Deaf Brady

• A recurring bit where Brady feigns deafness:
  • Comedic misunderstanding, word-mangling, and quips about not hearing the show for a month.
  • “What?” jokes repeated for effect.

“In the last month I’ve lost my hearing pretty much the whole way.” – Brady [11:32]
“What? I haven’t heard this.” – Holmberg [11:45]
“I haven’t heard anything on this channel for over a month and a half.” – Deaf Brady [11:53]

Middle Right: John Gruden

• Quick Gruden impression, with the bit mostly referenced for its saturation.

Bottom Left (Secret Square): Larry Bird

• A tongue-in-cheek impression of Larry Bird, with jokes about his Indiana roots and being “69 years old.”

“Never put a white man to guard me. …It’s a waste of time.” – “Larry Bird” (Frank Caliendo) [12:39]

Bottom Middle: Tracy Morgan & Tracy Mormon

• Frank introduces “Tracy Mormon,” Tracy Morgan’s estranged brother, adding a sharp Mormon satire to the Morgan persona, referencing tithing, and the Walmart accident settlement.
• Rapid, escalating improv – includes riffs on “soaking,” religion, Tide pods.

“You always talking about a guy named Joseph Smith? Joe Smith used to always owe me money. …But I was afraid to go to him. And now you worship him!” – Tracy Morgan (Frank) [13:38]
“Somebody’s gonna get soaked.” – Tracy Morgan (Frank) [14:51]
“You can’t eat tithe pods.” – Frank as “Tracy Mormon” [14:26]

Bottom Right: Additional Rotating Squares

• Rapid-fire impressions and comedic meta-commentary on the slowness of some squares.

---

3. Game Play – Banter with Contestants

• Contestants Tiffany and Don join the Squares at [18:07].
• Confusion and mishaps play up the humor, especially regarding the “Deaf Brady” responses.
• “Are bananas safely radioactive?” becomes an intentionally garbled, nonsensical trivia question.
• Antics regarding slow responses and difficulty hearing.

4. Further Trump Riffs – Political Satire

• Trump square called for the win ([20:26]).
• Outlandishly offensive riffs about immigrants and boats.
• Satirical monologue about the moon being “wider than Australia.”
  • Cohesive Trump-impression verbiage, blending insult, egocentrism, and absurdity.

“I’m looking at the moon right now. In fact, I’m going there Friday. …The moon people said to me, ‘Can we come to your country?’ …I said, ‘No.’” – Trump (Frank) [22:29]
“The moon’s very big. Australia’s not. I think the moon is less wide—like Chris Christie is wider than the moon…” – Trump (Frank) [23:36]

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Frank as Trump on game night:

“Trump for the win—just like 2016, 2020, 2024! …There’s one hanging for dear life like Jack from Titanic. Bye bye bye bye!” [20:42]

Barkley’s San Antonio riff:

“That’s worse than those big old ladies in San Antonio. That’s who’s beating up Shaq. …They come after me with their sticks and their big asses…” [05:29]

Stephen A. Smith’s meta moment:

“It’s just words that you make up, and people pay you more for it.” – Stephen A. Smith (Frank) [10:28]

Brady’s recurring ‘What?’ gag:

“What? …I haven’t heard anything… for over a month and a half.” – Deaf Brady [11:53]

Tracy Morgan/Mormon and soaking:

“Somebody’s gonna get soaked. …Tracy Mormon’s gonna soak with you. Oh, man. And with them Tide pods, you’re gonna come out cleaner.” [14:51]

Self-aware commentary:

“We haven’t even started the stupid game yet. Geez.” – Holmberg [17:29]

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------|--------------| | Introduction, Goliath Expedition | 01:21–03:18 | | Squares Begin (Lovitz, Vitale/Barkley, Trump) | 03:18–07:52 | | Berman & Stephen A. Smith | 08:40–10:49 | | Deaf Brady & Jacksonville Squares | 11:22–12:45 | | Tracy Morgan/Mormon, Soaking | 13:44–15:12 | | Contestant Banter (Tiffany/Don) | 18:07–19:51 | | Trump Square for the Win | 20:26–23:49 | | Tracy Mormon’s Mormon Satire | 24:29–25:43 | | End-of-Show Musical Parody | 26:44–27:52 |

---

Closing & Tone

The episode is classic “Holmberg's Morning Sickness”: sarcastic, fast-paced, a little reckless, and always playing to the edge of what's acceptable on radio. Frank Caliendo’s live wire impressions keep the energy high, bouncing between sports, politics, and pop culture, with the crew riffing, escalating, and delighting in the chaos—never missing a beat when turning real news or famous personalities into pure parody.

---

Summary

In this “Guadalupe Squares” session, listeners get a hilarious, slightly unhinged rollercoaster of celebrity impressions, topical zings, and in-jokes tailored for HMS’s longtime audience. Even without having heard the episode, the summary above captures its electric comedic spirit, key moments, and the high points of Frank Caliendo’s tour-de-force vocal shapeshifting.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Men if you're over the age of 50, go ahead and ask ChatGPT about what you face as you age. It's Dick Toledo from Homework's morning sickness for Game Day Men's Health. The short answer you'll get is facing metabolic issues like weight gain and muscle loss, as well as hormonal changes in testosterone that can lead to decreased sexual function plus the mental side of the equation. As you navigate these changes, head to gamedaymenshealth.com and schedule a free consultation now at one of their 12 valley locations. They'll formulate a plan to keep you in the game. And there's a Game Day location near you, so get started today and book that free [e-mail] why choose a Sleep Number Smart bed? Can I make my site softer? Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler? Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side. Your sleep number setting J.D. power ranks sleep number number one in customer satisfaction with mattresses purchased in store and online. And now all mattresses are on sale, plus free home delivery during our Cyber Week sale. Limited time for J.D. power 5 word information. Visit J.D. power.com awards check it out at a sleep number store or sleepnumber.com today. You thought that was funny?

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?

All right, let's get this thing going, shall we? It is time now for your Frank Caliendo Guadalupe Squares. Frank is here on New Year's Eve at Tempe Improv if you want to go. Tempe Improv, that's where that is. And you can go see Frank there also. Frank might be a part. It depends on scheduling. I'm guessing. No, I'll be there. Just a very small part that won't interfere with anything. No, you will receive at the time. He just promotes himself. New Year's Eve at 10pm that's all there is. I'll just be there doing a promotion when it gets uncomfortable. Just promote you. That'll be next Friday at Stand Up Live Downtown. Homework after talk will be part of that deal right there. Easy peasy. Look who's here. It's Corey Thriller Walsh. Hi there. And Corey, we want you for the Goliath Expedition. We're gonna. We're gonna make you Walk places challenge. And we're not too far. Please. No, no. Like the Circle K. It's maybe three quarters of a mile. Yeah, it's not terrible. Grab Coke and come back a mile and a half. Because the Goliath expedition is 30,000 miles. You have to consider if we're doing times here. Am I doing a 12 pack or just a single can? Twelver. Okay. You bring it, you're coming back into a case of Coke. Okay. The Goliath Exit zero. It's gonna slow me down. Yeah. Thrillers Goliath Expedition, which will be themed, by the way, the Constant theme song. And as. As he's walking, we should have you hold the speaker as well that plays this. You should do a in ear monitor so you just hear me huff and puff. Oh, that would be great. So that'll happen next year, 2026. Look forward to that. That's all we've got planned right now, but that's pretty good. To kick off our 25th year. HMS mornings and middays. Three more time. Yeah. And nights. And tomorrow, as we monitor Corey's trek all the way to the Circle K. We need to get them in on it. Oh, yeah. Is that amp or whatever. We need them to sponsor Corey's big walk. And like, we also need like the, like, I don't know, a tent store to give us some stuff. So when he has to pitch a tent and wait and sleep off the night, why you pitch a tent? Okay. I don't need that. I bet you can.

Gross. Come on, man. It's time now for your Guadalupe Squares with Frank Caliendo. Here's your host, Mr. Thriller Walsh. Thriller. Thank you, Chancellor. Let's begin in top left square with the Lovitzes. Hey, guys. True I k. I'm right here. There's no reason for you to talk while I talk. I've got it. I was pausing. Oh, hey, Frank. Are you. I'm still pausing. Are you here for the thing next Friday with the Holmgren Show? Holmgren? Yeah. I love him. Yeah, he's the best. I want him to, but I like Megan better. Oh, no. Yes. Take it back. She's mine.

Acting, acting. Yeah. We'll see you next week at the big show. That should be fun. Is he gonna be there? Corey? Yes. Y. Sitting in the front row. There's ramps now. Thank you. He can get in.

The best ability is availability. Oh, they're gonna say disability.

No, no. That's the worst troublesome. Why would I say that to you? Why would the best ability being no ability? I'D tell you to leave, but I don't wanna watch that for the next 10 minutes. Fair enough. I got a question for the both of you here. No, you don't. We haven't started the game yet. That's all right. I got excited. Ha. Top middle square here. Dick Vital and Charles Bartlett. Oh, he's a diaper dandy. He doesn't know what the game does anymore. Awesome, baby. Awesome. It's incredible how bad this guy is at his job. We're doing a game together soon, aren't we, Chuck? It's gonna be. It's gonna be really, really good. But let's stick with Cora for a second. Awesome, baby. No, he's Bradley Beal. That's all.

He's always hurt. He's an Eminem, baby. A mismatch. An Eminem. That's a good one. Melts in your mouth, not in your hands, knucklehead. That's really, really good. I'm gonna try some of those dipsy dudes. That's a real diaper dandy. Shaq had a real diaper dandy. I had poo in my diapers. Cause I used to get abused by my wife. I'm the face of male domestic violence. Everyone should feel sorry for me. Oh, my God. It's taking a turn. That's a really. It's really, really bad. This is worse than those big old ladies in San Antonio. That's who's beat up Shaq. So afraid of those ladies. They're huge. They come after me with their sticks and their big asses and their fists and screaming in Spanish if you're a sack fool. Come on, knucklehead. Why do you think I hang out with the general all the time? I need military support.

At a discounted rate. I haven't done dick vital in 20 years, baby. I don't even know if it's good. It's incredible. He's got a little bit of that. There's a little bit of. He's had the cancer of the throat. Oh, yeah. That's how you got it. You're doing domestic abuse. You're talking. Domestic abuse is funnier than cancer. Not in this one, baby. Nothing. The only thing worse than sauce on your face is sauce on your chin. Baby.

I did the really high pitch when you did the Sinatra one. It all equals out. All right. God, Shaq just got it in his little old man's blue eyes. Come on, knucklehead.

All right, over now, in top right square, President Trump. Hello, sir. I didn't even know I was here. I didn't know we had part of it. Did you know we're part of it? I knew it was gonna be here. I was busy watching the video game called Earth, where I blow all the boats that are heading our way. There's a lot of boats, but I should say this. There were a lot of boats. There's not even a lot. Well, have you ever played Battleship? Yeah, I just sunk yours. And I'll sing it again. And if you're hanging on the side, begging for life, I'm sinking that to. Nobody ever did that. You know, in Battleship. No one ever did that, though. You sunk my battleship. And then the other guy should say, is there anyone left? And then you go G5 to get the guy sitting next to the boat. That used to be. That's a great move. And you know what we did? We just played Connect Four. And. I'm sorry. That's a lot of board games.

You know what that's called? Yes. Life. Life. Another game. You're good at that. You can be a lizard. The game of life. Blow up your boat. We can do it all. What? Corey.

What was your piece in Monopoly? What was it? A thimble. A thimble. I would have guessed it was just the shoe. He only needs one. I was gonna say a crutch. And then I go out and I find. I find a porn star, and I play a little Candy Land. You know what I'm saying? I go down on that, and I chow down on the candy, take the thimble and play Shirts and Ladders. Daddy's going down, down, down to Epstein Island. We're having fun at the island.

Whose thought was that, You?

Guilty. Little snort there. A little blow. I can do anything I want. I'm president of whatever I want to do. I'm president of the Earth. President. Have you ever been president? I have not. No. I wasn't. Dead. No. I'm dead. Oh. Did you see me sleeping yesterday during Marco's. Marco's big speech? Had a big speech. I decided to take a little nap. A big speech for a little guy. That's why I took a little nap. Took a little nap. But here's what I know. He's one of the safe ones. And I knew nothing was going to happen. I like watching Mexicans get chased by ice. Not talking. So, Marco Rubio. That was a boring speech. I. I would have done a lot better. Cubano. Cubano. Is he cubano? Doesn't matter if he's here legally or not. Doesn't matter where you're from. I'll send you home if he's on the boat. Still getting blasted. Take that. Karate chop. Is there anyone left? Got him. I was kind of close to you, sir. Be careful. Great job, Exef. Great job. I'm like the Matrix. Call me Neo Trump. Let me have the joystick. I'm going to. I'm taking down the. But look at I. That one's mine. Put it on the board. Yes. I have to say, the sound effects make it so much better. Look at that little one swimming. Oh. Oh. Dios mio. Dios mio. Look at him. I lost air. Get to the next over. Now we got the middle left square. Berman and Stephen A. Together. ESPN Legends. I understand where you're coming from with this soliloquy. You know, I used to be the highest paid employee at espn years ago. Caucasian? No, I was that as well.

Black, white or otherwise. I was the highest paid employee. Now, not so much. Not much at all. In fact, you took it all. And I was going to quote you directly. Nobody circles the bank fault like Stephen.

I think it just turned into Popeye.

Well, blow me down. Understand? Blow me down. I'm strong to the finish, cuz I eats me spinach. I'm Popeye the sailor man. I a sailor man.

I'm Papa A Smith. All right. Hot take on olive oil. I understand that. Tiny little lady. You know, we could do this, and you could be popping. I could be Bluto. I mean, John. The other side being Bluto. And I think that could work out for both of us. I get it. I'm contemplating it right now and trying to understand in. In vociferance. I don't know what that means. Neither do I. Nobody knows. It's just words that you make up, and people pay you more for it. I for sore size. There's your big words when you go Curly. I can't.

All right. Corey's rumbling, bumbling, stumbling. But when I say it about him, it's sad.

He could. He could go all the way. But he's not going to. He's not gonna do it. He's not gonna make it. Say what you will, but nobody circles. Nobody circles and circles. Their foot is like it's nailed to the earth. I saw.

It's a pivot foot. And where'd he go to school? Somewhere with ramps?

Nope, not Louisville. Where did you go to school? Let's see. High school was Hamilton. Didn't ask that. Nobody cares. Everyone went to high school. Our asu, actually. Oh, I'm sorry. I'll talk slower. I would say as you need to keep moving in this game. Stephen asu's doing them all. All right, Go ahead. Over. Now, the middle square. F Deaf Brady. I don't know if you know any luck, bud? Anything got any better, but in the last month I've lost my hearing pretty much the whole way. Yeah. I don't. It's a matter of time before the brain report.

What? I haven't heard this. What I meant to you. You haven't heard it. Think about me.

I haven't heard anything on this channel for over a month and a half.

What? What? What? Anyway, how was your day? I'm not gay. Okay, you're gay. Okay. Will you hop along?

All right. Over at Jubilee Square, I just realized. Is Charlie there too? It's Charlie. It's a lot of.

Charlie and Vince. There's a slight difference. I don't want anybody. Come on.

Oh, my gosh. They are twins. Twins. Twins. Look how old I am. You and I are brothers. I'm the handsome one. I can't hear you. Write it down. It's time for the Brady Report. Report it. I'm reporting it.

All right, go. All right. Metal, right. Square. John Grudenham. I tell you what, man. Move on. They've heard this one. Enough. Go. All right. You're the call, sir. Now over to the bottom of square Brady. Secret square. Give us a hint. How you fellas doing? I'm 69 years old. All right. I'm from French. French Lick, Indiana. Oh, number 33. Yeah, man, you sound exactly. Never. Yeah, it's uncanny. Why is he blackish. Listen up. Okay. Never put a white man to guard me. Yeah. It's a waste of time. Okay. Sort of the quote. Fair enough. Bottom, middle, square. Now, Tracy. Morgan Freeman. I'm Tracy Morgan. And I don't know if you're ever introduced to my brother. Have I. Have I ever brought my brother with me? He lost the family. He's kind of straight from the family. Ain't that right? His name's Tracy, too. But he left the family. He's no longer Morgan. He's Tracy Mormon. I'm out there doing good things for people. Oh, that's nice. I'm bringing the word of God. The God? Whichever one it is. The one that we worship. You always talking about a guy named Joseph Smith? Joe Smith used to always owe me money. Stood on the corner, 34th and high. Right? And he was the one who had the money for me at Bed Stuy. But I was afraid to go to him. And now you Worship him. I got it. And I got a new character. Yes. Yeah. I'm Brian Fellowship. You can join me.

He always says he wants to go out for the blow, but then he's talking about that horn from Gabriel. I always go out, wait for that horn to blow, too. I want someone named Gabriel to blow me. Is that Fluffy? Well, I'm tithing. He's up there. Tithing. Tracy Mormon tithing. I got tithed once. And then Walmart tithed about $2 billion to me after they ran me over in New Jersey. Gosh. But you know what? You can't eat tithe pods.

That's true. I tried that once. I tried pot. This kid gave me his tithe and stuff and I bought pots with and I ate those. And the next thing you know, I was making bubbles. Yeah. And he. Then you turn into Rob Gronkowski. It's crazy, it's scary. But we'll make it work. It's all right, though. Cause I'm gonna get him pregnant. And to make little Mormon babies. Somebody's gonna get soaked.

We're gonna soak. Tracy. Mormon's gonna soak with you. Oh, man. And with them Tide props, you're gonna come out cleaner. Yeah, we're gonna be cleaner than the end of this break. That's what Toledo's trying to get to eat. Too many tadpaths. He ejaculates soap. Mr. Clean. No, you come on. It ain't no Mr. Clean. I'll show you it's dirty place.

Morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. It's John Holmberg from the morning sickness. And football season is in full swing and underdog is the best place to get in on all the action. Playing on underdog is easy. Just pick whether your favorite player is going to go higher or lower on stats like rushing yards, receptions, touchdowns. This week I'm looking at my Steelers and I am selecting Darnell Washington to go higher than one touchdown and hoping that Lamar Jackson goes lower on rushing Y cards. Download the app today. Sign up with promo code HMS to score a hundred dollars in bonus entries when you play your first $5 underdog make picks win money must be 18 plus, 19 plus in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 plus in Colorado for some games, 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply the assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms._dfs_html for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org In New York, call Hope Line at 1-87-7-8, HOPE NY or text Hopeny 467-369. It's Brady from HMS and I would always hear guys talk about their testosterone levels, but I didn't know much more than that. That changed when I went to the Game day men's health clinic and found out what my testosterone level was. Game Day's on site lab was quick and easy and I found out that I was an ideal candidate for testosterone treatment. Game Day offers other men's health solutions like hgh, peptide therapy and sexual health treatments. All you have to do is visit one of the 12 game day men's health clinics in the Valley or check out menshealth.com it's time to get back in the game. Holmberg's morning sickness. This is so much different than the way I do it. It is different. That's cause we're different people doing different things to different stuff. Like I like the butt. Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you may not be right for some. A man is born and he likes it in the bum. He's called my brother Tracy and he's portrayed by Frank Aleando because he likes it in the bomb. He likes. That's just playing great. Don't like it. Different soaks. This sounds like he's taking one of my songs. Frank Calendo takes it in the butt. Takes it in the butt. All right, now, bottom right square. Oh my God, there's another square.

We haven't even started the stupid game yet. Geez. Yeah. Hello, sir. How are you? Hi, Corey. Hey, remember how fast my square went? Real fast. Now. I think you're right. Me too. Move on. Okay. And I know people say that to you faster, but we mean it. Yeah. Yeah. That's grooving. Dana, man.

Trip Gruden. Trip. Yeah. Grip. All right, we've got Tiffany and Don. Tiffany, are you there? I am. Don, are you there? Yes, I am. All right, Tiffany, you're a girl. Pick a square. Go.

I will pick Larry Bird in the bottom left. Oh, you got me, baby. The Birdman.

It's too easy. Impersonation. One to one, same height and everything. Yeah, that was pretty dead on. I mean, that was such a good impression.

Go ahead and make a choice. I love Barry Lurd.

Don. Larry Bird. Yes, we already did that. Pick a square.

No, no, no, no. Let's go with where was death? Brady at. In the center. We can go with that. What? Yeah, let's go with Death Brady. Okay, that's not great for me. Sounds like you have extended family there. Death Brady. Hi, Don. How are you?

That's exactly what I hear all the time. Nothing. Don, are you there? Yes, I am.

What? You're crapping. What? Okay, you know what? This guy might be a square next time. How is it I got hit by a truck and I'm still quicker than you? I'm talking to Corey. I dodged a bullet. I dodged a bullet. I dodged a bullet. Tracy couldn't dodge the truck. That's the difference. I have a question for Brady real quick. Go ahead. Bananas are safely radioactive. True or false? I own radio on the show. On the radio. Show. Bandanas. Bandanas on the radio. It doesn't make no sense.

What? Yeah. Bananas on my safety. Okay. Yeah. Do you agree or disagree? That's what I heard. Okay, okay.

Why is everyone making laughing faces? Quietly.

There's nothing funnier than only people. We could laugh. Laughing, pantomiming laughter.

What are you saying? True or false to that? I'm saying true or false to that. What are the other True or false. I don't mean others. I'll say that that is false. Bananas are not radioactive. Okay. Have an open mind.

Do you have wrestling tickets? My dance, by the way. Oh, sorry, I don't really call you all right there, Don. Brady said false. Do you agree or disagree.

That bananas are not radioactive? The statement is that they are. And Brady said false. Which one of them isn't deaf?

I'm agree with Brady. Well, that's incorrect. Sometimes it's the center. That's not fair. I couldn't hear him. All right, now Tiffany can go to Trump for the win here, which. That's always my winning. What a phrase. Trump for the win. Just like 2016, 20, 20, 24. And the only difference is those were Trump won. That's right. And now you're winning. You're winning for the win every day. Look, you're right. Browns in a boat. Bye bye bye bye now. Bye bye. That's why I love alliteration. Alliteration. Browns in a boat. Bye bye. Bye bye, baby. Bye bye bye. Browns in a boat. Bye bye. Nope. There's one hanging for dear life on the edge of some rubble. Like Jack from Titanic. Bye bye bye bye. Great job, Access. Great job. We're getting rid of all the Venezuelans, starting with Fernando. We got rid of him. And I said that's we get rid of him. We get rid of the rest of the Venezuelos. He can't throw anymore. If he can't throw anymore, that's too big of a wind up. Too big of a wind up. He couldn't do it. And today you'd run on them all day, just like they're trying to run on us. And guess what? Guess what? Ben Boydeck is. Bye. Bye.

Someone just fired up a bass boat. Let's see what we can do with it, Heggie. There you go. That's what we'd have done. The Titanic, all those immigrants sinking on those doors. It would have been. It would have been over in about three minutes. If I was president back then, I would have killed them all. I would have just ended it. Look at them go. Look at. There's Jack and there's Rose. They're not gonna make it to America, are they? Don't like boats filled with drugs coming here. Go ahead. I got a question for you here. The moon is wider than Australia. True or false? The moon is wider than Australia. Australia is pretty wide. It's very wide. Big, wide. Very much like America, only too far away wide. The Outback. That's right. The Outback. The Outback. Not a good steak. No, I was gonna say it's Trump steak. Drumstick's better than the other stick. Is the number one stake in America and the world. And the moon. The moon. The moon people. The moon people said to me, they said, can we come to your. To your planet? I said, no. They said, well, can we come to your country? And they said, you can't fit in that country. We've got too many people. We got too many people for our country. So you stay as a moon person and you just eat your cheese. And then they started to come over and I said, heggy, take the moon people. We don't need moon people for the man in the moon. There's a guy in the moon. I don't like it. He's looking at me. It's surveillance. It's. I don't. It's Chinese spies. The moon, it's like a balloon. Get it out of here. Man in the moon. No more. Bye bye, Heggy. Oh, hey. Got him. Heggy. Eggie. Hecky. That's a new vocal take right there. I got him. All right, I get. The moon is not wider than Australia. The moon is very big. All right. Australia is not. I think moon is less wide. Less wide. Like Chris Christie is wider than the moon, but not Australia. Chris Christie. So fat. Rosie o'. Donnell. Big, fat, big, wider Than the mood. That piggy, that reporter little piggy. They could all fit inside of him. Just like Russian nesting does. That's right. I'll say that's false. There's no way.

You'Re saying false. You know, Tiffany for the win. Do you agree or disagree? He's saying that the moon is not bigger than Austria. They are saying it is. I'm the president. I'm looking at the answer. Say, I'm looking at the moon right now. In fact, I'm going there Friday. I'm going to be there. I'm going to get the answer. I don't agree. X gets a square and a clean square. I came all the way down and introduced you to my brother. We didn't get picked. Racism. Never getting picked. We don't never get picked. Tracy Mormon. That's right. But we have to still love everyone. That makes me want to cuss. Do it for me, Tracy Mormon. Oh, gosh. Down sat in a ditch.

I just take different words and you take the rhythm of whatever. You turn it into a sentence instead of, you know what I'm supposed to say. I said got down sat in a ditch. I think I want to be Mormon too, because I was just told they're into polygamy.

They get to marry everybody, get them all pregnant. That's great. Do you have lots of little baby youths? I do. Tons of baby mes. And then we get all sorts of people running on the freeways. And Walmart don't stand a chance. We gonna make a fortune. We're gonna be Sam's Club.

Keep sweet. That's what them Mormons say. I'm gonna be like Warren, DJ Jazzy Jet. And I'm gonna be the French Prince.

This is a story all about how my life got turned upside down. Sit right down. Listen to our tale about how my brother went over and got some Mormon tail.

I don't remember that song. I was four.

But I know something about Uncle Phil. Yeah, me too. My auntie and uncle said, put this crazy underwear on. Go bang some girls.

This is gonna be the next hour. The Fresh Mormon of Bel Air.

We're doing it. It's already in production. This is the thing. I think it might be done. Turn your TV on. Tell me if it's there. It's already streaming. It's screaming right now. Just like me and all them Mormon girls on Amazon. Oh, that's right. Get yourself one of them Mormon underwears and wipe your face off. You look like a pig.

Knock, knock. Who's that? The end of the Show. Okay.

Anyway, that's that boy. I didn't know Demetri Martin did so many voices. Dimitri was great. He's. He's. Tonight you can go see Stand Up Live Christmas show. He's doing his Christmas Christmas show. It's songs. It's just a whole show. It's like Christmas jokes in song. Yeah. Christmas singing. He's just gonna sing. No, that's it. He said he was material. Yeah, songs. Material. He's doing standards and covers. No, it's an interesting idea. Kris Kringle takes it in the butt. I know.

Chestnuts roasting on your Open fire. Jack's nuts roasting on your nose.

Mistletoads being sung by the choir. What's the rest of that? Herpes. Christmas. That's right. Oh no.

I gotta decorate my warts. Does that get you out of holiday pictures? The holidays. And I got little red dots all over my pubis, dashing through my Coke.

People say, you gotta do some holiday shopping, get over the Walmart. And that triggers me. I just lay on the ground and shake like Shaq around his wife.

I don't know if I believe anything he says anymore. I'm done. That's enough. Are you though? Nice job, kid. Thank you. Listen to this. What are you doing this weekend? This weekend we have ASU men's basketball and NAU basketball. He has to sit in a radio studio and listen to ASU women's basketball. They're very good. They're undefeated. Oh, against what, like eight teams at this point? And then what's the other one? NAU basketball. That's men's though.

Low end radio. College basketball. Oh, it's fine. It isn't. That's why they hide it on that station noise. If it was fun, it would be on a big station. Hey, they agreed to the contract because they know. God, you're so upbeat. I wish I could be more like you. How do I turn it on? Like Corey. It's really difficult. You should do a top 40 show.

I'm on that 40. I'm having a tremendous day. We're counting them down from number 40 to number one. My programmer told me to laugh like this. Hahaha. Casey did. Anyway, Casey was there. Kind of that. And he writes, Dear Cory, Jump. I know my life couldn't be any worse than yours. My servos are not working properly. Do you recommend an oil that won't ruin the microchips? Microchip signed. Real human.

Anyway, nice job, Cory. Nobody else got anything. So we can Wrong. Good Homeberg after dark. Next week. Look at you. Thank you. I'll be a part of it. That's right. Frank's gonna be there. Homework After Dark tickets. They'll be sold out probably by the end of today, maybe Monday. But they're close, so let's get that thing done. Little pre party over there beforehand. We got that. Homework After Dark next Friday, 9:45 at Stand Up Live. Frank's out there at 10pm Prov for New Year's Eve doing two shows that night for everybody before the big champagne pops and Everybody screams. Happy 2026, and we hope for the best. Nice job. Thank you, Frank. Yeah. Hummingbird just flew right by the window. That's it. Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a glorious weekend, and we'll see you tomorrow. Monday in the morning Sickness. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

It's Brett Vesely for Game Day Men's Health. Well, as a lot of you guys know, I had a ton of personal stuff to deal with lately, which means I wasn't even thinking about taking care of myself. Game Day Men's Health is the largest men's health clinic in the valley with 12 convenient locations. They know what us guys are going through and can get you started on a game plan of your own. Specialize in TRT treatment, and they even offer other men's health solutions like hgh, peptide treatment, medical weight loss and sexual health treatments. Check them out [e-mail] it's time to start taking care of yourself. And for guys, there's no better place to start than Game Day Men's Health. I'm here on a job site with Tim, who owns his own electrical contracting business. Three employees and two work trucks. Tim traded up to Geico Commercial auto insurance. We're positively here where he needs us most. They sure are. With step by step help on all the his insurance needs. All for shockingly low rates. Shockingly low. Just a little bit of electrician humor. Do you get it? I got it. You know, it feels like we have a real connection. All right, I'll stop. Get a commercial auto insurance quote [e-mail] and see how much you could save. Get more with Geico.