12-09-25 - BR - TUE - Happy Natl Xmas Card Mailing Day - Survey On Xmas Trees And How Many People Have - 37yo Pantsless Woman Drinking Fireball In FLA Arrested

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (Arizona)

Episode: 12-09-25 – BR – TUE
Date: December 9, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Station: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio

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Episode Overview

In this irreverent and rapid-fire edition of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, the crew riffs on everything from the absurdities of holiday traditions and Christmas cards to stories of pantsless Fireball drinkers, the economics of GoFundMe, Viagra side effects, and some truly wild user-submitted videos. Packed with sharp-tongued banter and relentless local flavor, the team keeps the conversation moving with their signature blend of humor, sarcasm, and social commentary.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

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1. Christmas Card Day & Holiday Traditions

Timestamp: 06:53–08:16

• Brady announces it's National Christmas Card Day, prompting gripes from Brett Vesely about receiving picture-laden family cards:
  “Don’t send me one. I don’t want them. They’re clutter. You don’t mean it. And I don’t care what happened to your family this year.” (07:09, Brett)
• Mockery of family update letters: The crew jokes about sending brutally honest or depressing updates instead.
• Commentary on environmental impact and the pointlessness of holiday cards unless recipients are truly close.

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2. Christmas Trees: How Many Are Too Many?

Timestamp: 15:53–17:39

• A poll sparks debate over Americans who have multiple trees; Brett recounts a story of “pod people” in Gilbert, AZ trying to one-up each other:
  “Kristen’s got seven Christmas trees. She went and got six. So now her house is large… You have to do everything they do. Sure enough, Gilbert pod people at it again.” (16:16, Brett)
• Byron discusses his own house’s count, and the general consensus is one big tree suffices.
• The hosts question if small decorative trees count and share exasperation with holiday excess.

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3. Historical and Random Fun Facts

Timestamp: 08:26–15:41

• Notable facts:
  • Van Gogh sold only one painting while alive—400 francs (~$2,500 now).
  • Dramamine was discovered accidentally while treating hay fever.
  • The 1800 U.S. presidential election (Jefferson/Burr tie) led to Congress picking the President.
  • Scarface’s reputation as an overrated film:
    “Probably the most overrated classic movie of all time. It’s terrible. Boring.” (14:29, Brett)
  • December 9th anniversaries—Charlie Brown Christmas, smallpox eradication, and pop culture references.
• Prison uniforms in France: Since 1983, prisoners can wear normal clothes, or request charity aid for clothing (12:42).

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4. Pop Culture & Sports

Timestamp: 02:31–04:29

• Philip Rivers’ NFL return mockery:
  “Nothing better than a 44 year old who thinks he’s still got it going. I’ll get off the couch and try some December football. We’re gonna watch an execution… all of his 14 kids are gonna see it too.” (02:41–02:58, Brett)
• Religious humor around sports prayers for Rivers’ “upper torso separation.”

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5. GoFundMe Contrasts and Social Commentary

Timestamp: 18:25–19:41

• Discussion about an 88-year-old Michigan man who lost his pension, got $2 million via GoFundMe, juxtaposed with a viral “N-word Cinnabon lady” also receiving donations.
• Brett’s critique of online charity efficacy and America’s backwards reward system:
  “That’s America in a nutshell. The N word girl has like a couple hundred thousand bucks because she lost her job at Cinnabon… and they gave it to her in a weekend because she called the customer the N word and then said, ‘suck it’ and lost her job.” (19:24, Brett)

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6. Bizarre News Stories

Timestamp: 17:39–21:10

• Canadian snowblower assault: A new angle on escalation in neighbor disputes.
• Pantsless Fireball Woman:
  • 37-year-old woman in Florida arrested walking down the street drinking cinnamon whiskey, underwear around her knees.
  • Hosts riff on the reputation of Fireball and what it does to a person.
  • “She’s gonna make hay. That girl got no pants on, smells like a churro.” (20:57, Brett)
  • Tangents on the dangers of drinking Fireball, rumchata, and related drinks.

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7. Outrageous TikTok and Internet Trends

Timestamp: 17:15–17:27

• Grinch Spaghetti: Food trend involving dyeing noodles green to amuse kids.
• Flippant dismissal (“Spinach noodles are good green.”).

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8. The Brady Report & User Videos

Timestamp: 22:49–32:02

• Video commentary includes:
  • Man spitting in a sleeping friend’s mouth (gross-out humor).
  • “Young Sean Connery” date gone violent (woman gets kicked repeatedly—hosts comment on her “taking it like a champ”).
  • Indian “video Christmas card” involves street fireworks and flaming mishaps.
  • Inflatable tube man “beating off” outside a women’s store.
  • Meth user melting down and squatting in an elevator (“Good meth commercial or whatever.”).
  • Disturbing dental procedures (tooth extraction):
    “Oh, my God. It’s the size of a baseball. It was stuck in the roof of her mouth… Her whole upper rack is coming out.” (31:03–31:51, Brett)
• Crude remarks about various alcohols (rumchata, breakfast shots) and masculinity/femininity in drink choices:
  • “Rumchata is for sorority houses and homosexuals both.” (22:37, Brett)
  • Arguments over the best novelty shot drinks and how they’re received in local bars.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Christmas cards:
  “If you need to write me a letter at Christmas to tell me what happened to your family, and it’s all news to me—not that good of friends.” (07:13, Brett)
• On sports prayers:
  “Dear Brady’s Lord God, Jesus, Lord, please let the upper torso separation of Philip Rivers happen live on television in the next couple of weeks.” (03:40, Brett)
• On GoFundMe culture:
  “That’s America in a nutshell… the N word girl has like a couple hundred thousand bucks because she lost her job at Cinnabon… and they gave it to her in a weekend.” (19:24, Brett)
• On Fireball’s effects:
  “Oh, in the villages, she’s gonna make hay. That girl got no pants on, smells like a churro.” (20:57, Brett)
• On drink choices:
  “Rumchata is for sorority houses and homosexuals both. Fine. Just saying, if you’ve got it, you’re one or the other.” (22:37, Brett)
• On video content:
  “He’s out cold… that’s the dude spitting in another man’s mouth. Oh, my Lord. Oh, sweet Jesus, God.” (22:54, Brett)

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Memorable Segments with Timestamps

• Introduction to Christmas Card Day: 06:53–08:16
• Multiple Christmas Trees Debate: 15:53–17:39
• Historical Pop Culture Rundown: 08:26–15:41
• GoFundMe Social Critique: 18:25–19:41
• Florida Fireball Pantsless Arrest: 20:14–21:10
• Video Reaction Highlights: 22:49–32:02

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Tone and Style

• The conversation is consistently snarky, crude, and fast-paced, with the hosts leaning heavily into sarcasm, regional jabs (particularly at Gilbert, AZ residents), and culture-war potshots.
• Humor is often dark, inappropriate, and not for the easily offended, frequently crossing into areas of taste and social mores with unapologetic bravado.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode delivers classic Holmberg’s Morning Sickness—frenetic, border-testing, and packed with both local color and the universal absurdities of American life during the holidays. From lampooning holiday excess to unapologetically harsh takes on viral stories and internet oddities, the hosts maintain their brand of irreverent humor and raw honesty throughout the show.

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Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one.

[Brett Vesely]

Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P.

[Byron]

Guns, where he'll get a fair offer.

[Brett Vesely]

And he can rest easy knowing it's.

[Byron]

Not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state? Easy.

[Byron]

Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online.

[Brett Vesely]

It really that simple? There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms. Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense, because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming, and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu.mo. and don't just study tech. Live it. Hs morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

A lot of people like to whisper the word gay around Weezer, but I'm not one of them. I love that band. That's a hash pipe right there. That's already 25 years old, if you can believe it. And I'm struggling with that one right now. 25 years ago, that came out.

[Byron]

What?

[Brett Vesely]

Stop it. Yeah, Hash pipes. A great one. I'm enjoying all of you guys putting together your AI.

Videos and pictures of the way my planet would look. And guess what? It already looks like that. Pretty much pretty good. And then somebody put my head on a guy called Captain Planet. He made me a superhero. I like that one as well. Pretty good stuff. I'm making a point.

This guy says he works at the recycling center or at the trash thing. He said the recycling conveyor belt has an air compressor over that just blows the lighter stuff onto the ground, and then they sweep that up and throw that away. It's ridiculous. And you're also not supposed to bag another Person said, you're not supposed to put your recycling in bags, right? Yeah, I don't see anybody like undoing those bags, slowly going through and recycling for us. When people do make that mistake, it's just not happening.

Anyway, I go on and on. I like a world that's better, when we can just make fun of Pooty Tang, Lamar Jackson and crying Harbaughs.

And also that my second least favorite quarterback of all time, that pious piece of garbage, Philip Rivers, might start playing again. Yes, please, bring him back to the fold. Nothing better than a 44 year old who thinks he's still got it going. I'll get off the couch and try some December football.

We're gonna watch an execution. We're gonna watch a live death on TV. And all of his 14 kids are gonna see it too. Fine. With that money. Oh, I hate that grandkids. Well, Jesus, he has a billion kids. He made $120 million over his last four years. And he's like, I got to get back in there. I wouldn't want to go home either. I think I'd put myself in harm's way. If I had 10 kids waiting for me at home, I'd stand out that football field till I was 60.

[Byron]

And they've had kids. I don't know how many grandkids he.

[Brett Vesely]

Has, what he's got, but it's not. It's not a favorable place to go. Well, heading home, heading homes, more work. It's. There's less people in an NFL locker room than in his house.

Old man Philip Rivers. Oh, oh, let's do it. Dear Brady's Lord God, Jesus, Lord, please let the upper torso separation of Philip Rivers happen live on television in the next couple of weeks.

A high, low hit from. I don't know who they play the Texas. Oh, oh, you get the Texans in there. And Tenille Hunter goes low and Will Anderson goes high and they high, low. Separate that old man from himself. Oh, Lord Jesus, can you see it? And because there are no mistakes. Lord Jesus, baby, Lord, you put that thought in my head. Let it be true. Sir, please. Lord Jesus, baby. Pretty close it up.

[Byron]

Good prayer.

[Brett Vesely]

Lamb of God, slaughter the infidels. Shrimp is bad there.

[Byron]

Shrimp is good.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it's bad. God's original thought was he hate shrimp. And then he changed his mind. His son talked him into a liking shrimp, even though evidently they're the same guy.

[Byron]

He loved all creatures.

[Brett Vesely]

Also, there's a thing in a Bible somebody showed me the other day that if you ever had a rash you can't get in. That's an original thought. If you have a rash, you have a rash. You have a. You have eczema. You can't get into. You can't get into heaven. It's in the Old Testament.

And people go, yeah, but the old.

[Byron]

One, that's the old Christ came back and changed it up.

[Brett Vesely]

Christ. Same guy. Doesn't make any sense.

But yeah, you can have rashes now and get in Toledo's. In Toledo's. At least the rash isn't keeping them out. It's a good one, too. It's like those with a rash and, oh, pus in your eye or something. Like, if you ever wake up with posi, you're out. And that was just a dude writing that day going, that my kid's gross. He's got rashes and he's out. I don't want that in heaven. If it was Louis C.K. a long time ago, said, Imagine dying 10 or 12 years before your wife, and you just go to heaven and you're having the best time. Like, it's perfect. It's paradise and everything else. And then some guy taps you on your shoulder, goes, your wife's coming tomorrow. What? I'm still strapped to her. It's like, yeah. He said, till death do us part. We're apart now, right? And he goes, no, you got to spend eternity with her. Leave it to a woman to ruin heaven.

Come up and start spying on you up there. Going through your heaven phone and wondering what you're thinking.

Yeesh. It's 7:51. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] 78 degrees today in this beautiful place so you can sit, get a little shade so you're not, you know, squinting. Squinting causes wrinkles. And we're all getting to that age. We got to worry about that. So let's get some shade on that back patio while we're sitting outside sipping mimosas and watching TV on that glorious television you've got in your back patio as well. A lot of people have that going on, but the glare gets them all. Pro Shade can fix that. Check it out. AllProChade.com get a motorized shade or one of those blinds right now, and they'll throw in a heater for you so you can enjoy the nighttime temperatures when the shade is permanent. AllProchade.com is where you go. Brady reported.

[Byron]

Good Tuesday morning. To you, Phoenix.

[Brett Vesely]

Hello, world.

[Byron]

Happy National Christmas Card Day most of.

[Brett Vesely]

The day to get them out.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

It takes that long?

[Byron]

Yeah. You want to get on it?

[Brett Vesely]

That's 13 days.

[Byron]

I just saw a thing about Christmas cards that said it's okay to be a couple days late too.

[Brett Vesely]

Let me tell you this. Don't send me one. I don't want them. They're clutter. You don't mean it. And I don't care what happened to your family this year. If. If you need to write me a letter at Christmas to tell me what happened to your family. And it's all news to me. Not that good of friends. So if I have to catch up with you every. Oh, look, I haven't talked to this guy in a year. Daughter's in like ninth grade. Haven't seen her since she was a baby. We're not that good of friends. I don't need it if you just have to kind of again, environmental limit it. And plus, if there's pictures of you, I put it in the fire later and send back when I burn up your family.

[Byron]

We just got the one family that's friends with Ronnie she grew up with anyway. And you get the letter with it. The kids are amazing. They've.

[Brett Vesely]

Of course they are.

[Byron]

Created a new planet.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh my God.

[Byron]

That's triple honor students.

[Brett Vesely]

And then you write, I just want the one. My kid's still adult. Like, I can't figure out how to get this kid off the couch. Toledo's letter to people who haven't talked to him in a while. Brutal. Ah, the boy moved back in. Never paid rent in Tucson the whole year.

[Byron]

I've always thought about doing that. Sending out just.

The most depressing thing.

[Brett Vesely]

But he can do it for real. You do it as a joke. He wants to be a fashion designer, but I told him that's just a world of you're not blowing dudes. You're not gonna make it in that industry.

[Byron]

Got a couple of basis fun facts. The Red Vineyard at Aries is the only Van Gogh painting that's known to have sold in his lifetime. Sold for 400 francs in 1890.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh. One of his own paintings sold while he was licey. Okay.

[Byron]

Which is roughly the equivalent about 2500 bucks today.

[Brett Vesely]

And it's worth how much?

[Byron]

That I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

20 million?

[Byron]

Yeah, it's got to be up there. In 1947, a woman went to Johns Hopkins to cure her hives. She received an experimental drug called compound 1694 for hay fever and allergies. Her Hives cleared up. And she reported that, weirdly, she stopped getting nauseous while riding on a public transportation. Doctors immediately tested the drug for motion sickness, and compound 1694 became Dramamine. Dramamine.

[Brett Vesely]

Nice. And it was for hay fever.

[Byron]

Yeah. And. Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

Do scientists, allergies in medicine know anything they're going for?

[Byron]

They're practicing medicine.

[Brett Vesely]

I know, but they always say the same thing. Viagra was for blood pressure. Like, look what it's doing to my lower blood pressure. But it doesn't. It can. It can, but it's like, you're all right. It doesn't do it enough to be a thing, but you swell up like nobody's business when you need to. And it's on demand. The amazing thing about Viagra is it. Well, except for when you're asleep, I like to take it before I go to bed and then wake up with one of those things. I haven't done it for a while, but it's awesome. And toying with yourself on Viagra is even better. It's expedited quicker. You don't have any pressure to see if it works, but it's just like your dick's on high alert. It's like Dick Con five. Like, you take. Just walking around going, are we ready? We ready? Calm down. We're good. I'll let you know now that you know. I'll let you know when I'm ready.

[Byron]

Like Viagra races at pir.

[Brett Vesely]

It doesn't matter. You have to be stimulated.

I was enjoying it for a while. Like, every day. I was taking it. Like. Like your blood pressure pills. I was taking it myself. I'm like, I wonder what happens if you keep going. And the tugging was ridiculous.

[Byron]

Thomas Jefferson and Aaron Burr tied in the 1800 presidential election. Left it up to the Congress to pick the president.

[Brett Vesely]

It was crooked Brady. I know that election very well. I'm a historian. And I know back then they were cheating, stuffing ballot boxes. It was really bad. The Dems, they were a problem. All those blacks were voting. And I know they couldn't back in Atlanta.

[Byron]

They just picked it.

[Brett Vesely]

They just chose it. Like college. Like in college. I was gonna say, is it a bowl game or what? At a better schedule.

[Byron]

Panel got together. They like TJ better.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Open this morning.

[Byron]

Sickness.

[Brett Vesely]

Disgusting. They say things that are horrible.

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[Byron]

Prisoners.

[Brett Vesely]

He had that pregnant slave and they're like, he's got to raise the baby and got bills. Aaron had a lot of money from his family. It was different.

[Byron]

Prisoners in France do not wear uniforms and are instead able to buy normal clothes. The uniforms were abolished there in 1983. If they can't afford to buy them buy their own clothes. They can request free clothing which is provided by charities. Huh.

It dressed pretty nice in prison.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, it's France. That's true. Their prisons are supposed to be like the worst in the in the world.

[Byron]

Here's a couple prisons that happen.

[Brett Vesely]

Just abusive, like put you in a rat infested cell. You got no rights. I don't know if they've cleaned that up, but the dude who they made the movie with Leo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks, Catch Me if youf Can. Yeah, that was a real guy, Frank. Yeah, he wrote a book, Abigail. Yeah, but he wrote a book about it. And two of the things they skipped was his time in Sweden and the French prison at the end of the movie that he's in where he's got all the long hair and stuff. He went there a couple of times and he's like, there is no place worse than a French prison. It's. They don't care about, like, you don't have lawyers going and going, oh, they need sunlight. And like you are in there, they shove food at you and the rats get to it. You Got to fight them for that. And he's like, it is. You are not. You're not going to commit many crimes in France if you've been in their prison once. That's how it should be here on.

[Byron]

This day in history. December 9th, 60 years ago, 1965, A Charlie Brown Christmas premiered on CBS.

[Brett Vesely]

Still going strong.

[Byron]

46 years ago in 1979. On December 9th, smallpox was officially eradicated.

42 years ago, 1983, scarfaced open up in theaters.

[Brett Vesely]

Probably the most overrated classic movie of all time. It's terrible, Boring. It's not only boring, it's terrible. The acting's really bad, the casting's even worse, and the story is stupid.

[Byron]

It got better 37 years ago in 1988. Twins with Arnold.

[Brett Vesely]

Sports. That's a fun one. At least that's a comedy. Scarface should have been 33 years ago was De Palma and Brian De Palma movies are bad. He's got two good ones. Scarface ain't one of them.

[Byron]

In 1992, on December 9th, Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced their separation.

[Brett Vesely]

No. Whatever happened to her?

[Byron]

Well, car accident.

[Brett Vesely]

I saw a thing online that said, recycle the car. What do you get a princess who has everything?

And it set a seatbelt in an airbag. Like, oh my God, are we there now? Are we doing that?

Terrible.

[Byron]

31 years ago on December 9th. In 1994, Bill Clinton fired Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders after hearing how she told a conference that self pleasure should be discussed in school as part of human sexuality.

[Brett Vesely]

That bitch wanted people to jerk off. And what we needed to teach the kids was girls, get on your knees. Why am I beaten off so much? Because the ladies aren't putting out. So Surgeon general my ass.

[Byron]

A poll on Christmas trees found that 14% of Americans will have at least two Christmas trees in their home this year.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's what I told you that I told you the pod people of Gilbert were talking in front of me and one had seven. And when the other girl went into her house and saw seven, she told her husband, like, Kristen's got seven Christmas trees. She went and got six. So now her house is large. She goes just so warm and inviting. I'm like, you're pod people. Can't you see someone else's house and just leave it be? You have to do everything they do. Sure enough, Gilbert pod people at it again.

[Byron]

So when they say that, does that include, like, it would be like if it was a two foot tree?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. It's too many trees. Yeah. No, it's just imagine Santa coming and going. What the is this? I'm in a forest. One at a time.

[Byron]

We have like three artificial, I think.

[Brett Vesely]

Full size three trees.

[Byron]

No, one big one. And then this year Ronnie's put up her aunt's tree that she had which is about a five footer.

[Brett Vesely]

That's two trees. That's a tree. Five foot is a big tree. So you got that. You got to decorate that.

[Byron]

All right. Yeah. Kirby did it.

[Brett Vesely]

It's enough. One tree. Why not just add all of her ornaments to your tree? We did a little combo, combine it.

[Byron]

The latest tick tock trend, food trend is Grinch spaghetti green. The kiddos love it. John, you dye the noodles green.

Or just use spinach?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, spinach noodles are good green. I like those.

Two trees. We have to do that every time somebody dies. You have to use their tree still.

[Byron]

We got a. I guess 57 year old guy in Canada is facing charges. Got into a fight with his neighbor. I know two Canadians fighting.

But the guy used a snowblower to assault the other person. Cranked up the snowblower and blew Canadian weapon. Blew some snow on him.

[Brett Vesely]

We think, we think it's funny, but it's a Canadian weapon. Yeah, you wouldn't want that if somebody was doing that to you. Those snowblowers are strong.

Oh yeah. I'm gonna fight through the wind and get to you.

See. And that's why it's a Canadian fight. You know that's a weapon of war in Canada. And you'd go hit him with your shovel. The big lanky driveway one or hockey stick or whatever you've got handy.

[Byron]

That 88 year old guy in Michigan who's trying to retire. They did that crowdfund me form the GoFundMe. Some.

Positivity influencer posted about the guy because he, he retired from gm but he didn't get his pension because GM went bankrupt. Then his wife got sick and passed away. Wanted to. He had to go back to work. Tried to pay off over 200,000 medical debt. This positively positivity influencer got online. The dude's got $2 million.

[Brett Vesely]

Nice. So you're telling me the lady that used the N word at Cinnabon covered half of his debt in the weekend for saying the N word. And this guy needed $200,000 in help and couldn't get it online. I know he got 2 million.

[Byron]

He went back to work to try to pay.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what I'm saying. He didn't have like a weekend of 200 grand to fix this. But the N word girl did and knocked it out in three days.

[Byron]

Which is what now it's up to.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. But this dude had to go to work again. That's. That's America in a nutshell. Right now the N word girl has like a couple hundred thousand bucks because she lost her job at Cinnabon. By the way, she'd had to work at Cinnabon for eight years to make $200,000.

And they gave it to her in a weekend because she called the customer the N word and then said, suck it, suck it. And lost her job. And they're saying we have to protect white people.

[Byron]

I think you saw listed some of the donors yesterday. $8 donation from.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, there was. Yeah. Heinrich Himler kicked in some real people.

A lot of good. A lot of good. A lot of good people. Good people on both sides. Brady. No, you know what? I didn't see any Somalians donating. Which makes her. Right, I think.

[Byron]

Got a 37 year old woman from Ocala, Florida. She got busted walking down the sidewalk drinking some cinnamon whiskey with no pants on.

[Brett Vesely]

Cover the smell Fireball. Due to you.

[Byron]

Yeah. The officer noted in the report almost underwear was around her knees, exposing her buttock and vagina area.

[Brett Vesely]

No pictures. Oh, there's pictures. Oh. Ah. You know, not as bad as I was. Half as bad as I thought. Still torn. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, she's wrecked.

[Byron]

That's marriage material. Florida.

[Brett Vesely]

You clean her up, you could fool some people. Put some pants on her.

[Byron]

You get her down in the villages?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, sure. Oh, in the villages. She's gonna make hay. That girl got no pants on, smells like a churro.

She drinks cinnamon water, walks around with no pants.

Every. Those people. I have a full keg of fireball my friend Tom Sizer brought over. It's got a tap. I don't even know what to do with this thing. Every time everybody's like, let's do it. We all do one. We're like, never again.

[Byron]

Never again.

[Brett Vesely]

No. People that love that, love it. Oh, it's really good. But you're good for one or two, tops. And then your whole day is just miserable and you're not even drunk. It's just the sugar. It's like eating too many gobstoppers. It seems like a good idea to eat the third one.

Your teeth start hurting, then you.

[Byron]

That's when you mix with the rumchata. No.

[Brett Vesely]

If you're gay. Yeah. Or you just drink it like a man.

[Byron]

It's a they call it the Captain Crunch or something.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, bro, you're talking. You're talking, Katie. KB is going to love that stuff.

[Byron]

Let's get some, Brady.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, you and your. You and the sorority girls you're serving over at Tempe Tavern are going to love what you're making Captain Crunch at, Brady.

[Byron]

You got to be creative over there.

[Brett Vesely]

At Tempe Tavern. No, they drink what you get.

[Byron]

Scooby Snacks.

[Brett Vesely]

Keep your mouth closed off. This radio thing don't work out for Brady. We know where he can get a job now. You didn't have rum chata at the house, do you?

Because if you do, you need to go wash off your genitals. They're covered in feces.

[Byron]

There might be. Ronnie, I know there's stuff to make that espresso martinis run.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, no, that's not rum, Chad. That's not rumchata.

[Byron]

No, no.

[Brett Vesely]

They say things that are horrible.

Homberg's morning sickness. Ramchata is for sorority houses and homosexuals both. Fine. Just saying, if you've got it, you're one or the other. All right, here we go.

[Byron]

This is a tough one for me to watch.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, it's a guy. Sleeping, I think.

[Byron]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

He's out cold in his front. Oh, that's the dude spitting another man's mouth. Oh, my Lord. Oh, sweet Jesus. God. He's spitting his friends wide open. Wake up. No, he's. He's so drunk that his friends can spit in his mouth.

[Byron]

I went back and forth on those. Get me.

[Brett Vesely]

We've seen a couple of those. All right, next.

[Byron]

This is a young Sean Connery on a date.

[Brett Vesely]

What?

[Byron]

It's a guy bips on the back of the head with the helmet.

[Brett Vesely]

Why is he young Sean Connery?

[Byron]

Because.

[Brett Vesely]

Cuz.

[Byron]

Because his advice on how to handle women.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh. He takes a swing at her knees. He gets on the back of his motorcycle. She keeps hitting him. That's three, four shots. Five shots. Drops the bike. He's still standing. She's on the ground somehow. And he's like, all right, that's enough. He's taking matters into his own hands. He sweeps the leg twice. Two kicks to the thigh. One, two to the head. Oh, she's dizzied. And she drops down. That's a concussion. Drop date is over. Yeah. This is the worst Tinder date ever.

And he got back on his scooter. Peace out, bitch. Rode back to Toledo's hotel and served him dinner. What a nightmare. Well, he threw some shots. I gotta say, she took those two leg kicks Like a champ. And he knows how to kick. And then he threw two haymakers to her head. I think she might have been out on her feet. Took her a second to go down. If anything, take pride in the fact that you can take that kind of shot.

[Byron]

Lady.

It'S Christmas card day. This is a video card. Merry Christmas from India, John.

[Brett Vesely]

We're in India. Dirtiest street in the world. Here comes a motorcycle. They're lighting a firework or something.

[Byron]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

The firework's not really going off, but it's a filthy, filthy rodent India called. Whoa. It goes mushroom cloud.

[Byron]

There goes the flaming Indian.

[Brett Vesely]

And the flaming Indian runs. The flaming Indian is rumchata fireball. I think that's it. Rumchata fireball. And I think you put a churro in it, boy. Curry.

[Byron]

Curry. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

They blew up their curry. Well, it's because there's so much methane in the air from the gas. Yeah. The feces that's in their sewers. Yeah, he blew it. What? Did they light that?

[Byron]

I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

The whole city burned down. And then he's not. He's never seen the stop, drop and roll because on fire. He's now the fastest Indian in the history of the country. Look at this guy. Average white guy, 21. Is that how Curry's made sort of comments? That's how you make it. You blow up the city street and you light yourself on fire and you run down the road, and then you take what's in your pants and you put it on a plate. Yuck.

[Byron]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

By the way, Brady, rumchata smells like old condoms. That's according to Adam Arago. I've never had rumchata because I think it's for.

[Byron]

Gays.

[Brett Vesely]

And that's why the old condom sense is involved.

[Byron]

I knew about that cinnamon toast crunch. It was at a Christmas party someone had.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, you don't drink, so you like the candy drinks. Yeah. You're not a drinker, so those things appeal to you.

[Byron]

I can't see.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, not nobody can pound a bunch just like it, but no one is. My friend Anthony orders breakfast shots, and it's. Those are good because the bacon. There's bacon. I don't know how you do it. And it tastes like you're eating French toast, bacon and eggs, and you chase it with orange juice, and it's some weird butterscotch thing. And I'm like, this is the gayest order of all time. There's like 15 of them. Like, give me two more of those. It's like, Jameson Butterscotch. And the shot's horrible. Something else. You throw the OJ down. You're like, that's breakfast. He wasn't that amazing. And your brain's fooled. And it wasn't so much that it was good. It was just like, I need to do that again to figure out how that worked. It was science.

[Byron]

Peanut butter and jelly is pretty good, too.

[Brett Vesely]

But see, I don't want that. I'm not a teenage. The popping grub one over there, Mesa, that's really good because I go to mix it all up, and they got the grill right behind the bar, so the bacon is still hot when they bring it out. But the thing is, when you order that at the pub and grub, the bartender turns and goes, hey, this guy just tried to suck my. No, I didn't. I just ordered that. Is their famous shot hot? I couldn't order it. Have to. Everybody goes there and does. This girl has to order it for the whole table. There are rules with that. You start getting cinnamon toast crunches and peanut butter and jellies. You're done. All right. Is that the. This the. At the Carisseria somewhere on the west side or something? This is definitely enough. Oh, this guy's got a bat. He's walking around with a bat behind his head. He's walking up to another guy. That guy pulls something out of his pocket. I think he's going to try to pay him or make a phone call. He's making a Venmo. There's another. Oh, he's getting. He's getting a. Oh, no. All right, let's recap. Let's recap what just happened. A little Asian man about 5ft tall. So the tallest Asian man in this country is walking up to a table with his shirt off and a bat behind his back. He walks up to a guy sitting down. They start making those noises they make called language and that. You don't know why he's mad at him. And then a lady pops up from under the table, and she's clearly blowing that guy. But my guess is the guy with the bat is that girl's real boy.

[Byron]

He was getting up manicure or maybe.

[Brett Vesely]

A pedicure because there was his pants.

[Byron]

There was nothing.

[Brett Vesely]

Very possibly. Well, Brady, that's racist. Just because you couldn't see his dick. The Asians have penises. They're just not as big.

Yeah, that's how they look when they're out compared to us. Here's a. Here's a nice stage dive. All right, we're at a Concert. There's some frat boy in camo shorts and a blue shirt. He looks like an idiot already. He's about to jump off of a Kid Rock cover band stage or something. He leaps and nobody catches him. Doesn't care. Doesn't even make the security. Hits the barrier with his chest.

After being Courage by not Kid Rock, but someone who looks a lot like him. Was that a Morgan Wallen show? Probably. Only a country fan would do something that dumb. Here's a little drone footage for you. Oh, are we in the Ukraine? We're shooting a drone out of an apartment that has a hole in the side of the wall. And here comes. Oh, no, there's gonna be something coming into it. They're firing up the drone. Off it goes. Oh, it crashed right outside the window. And it blew up some Russian guy's house.

It didn't make it out the window. Oh, that was awesome. And that's why Russia's losing. Oh, yeah.

[Byron]

It was like the modern day Wright brothers.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. That thing went about 8ft.

And I don't know about this one. All right. Oh, that's AI. There's a lady with her head on. Yeah. Standing in the middle of road in a terrible country that has lots of rickshaws and carts. She's lit her head on fire. Does seem like pretty good these Toledo home videos. Yeah. Everyone in a coy hat riding by on their motorcycle. Doesn't seem to mind that there's a woman with her head literally lit on fire. But it didn't change. Like, that had to be AI. And this is. This was just dumb. All right. I like that we talk about the inflatable things. Waving. Inflatable arm flailing.

[Byron]

Tube man.

[Brett Vesely]

He leaned back and his hand is the only thing whipping on. It looks like the inflatable tube man is beating off in front of a woman's store called Bella.

That's a gem. Tweaker in an elevator. Okay, we got a drug addict losing his mind in an elevator. Door opens up. He's. He's in a Johnny bench squat. Oh, now he's smoking his crack.

[Byron]

One more hit. One more. Two.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, he's going to go up and down in the elevator another couple floors. Oh, he's doing it through his nose. He's smoking the glass pipes. And he just keeps. The door keeps opening and closing, and he keeps. And he's screaming. He looks like Pete Townsend. Oh, now he's very flexible. He put the pipe up against his butt. I'm not sure if that's coming. If that's well, he is just losing his mind in this elevator. Now he's got his legs spread all the way open. He's. He's gonna pull his pants down. Put that pipe in his ass, isn't he?

[Byron]

What in the world?

[Brett Vesely]

There he is again. Get some help. Man, oh, man. He just lives in that elevator.

[Byron]

I guess. Good meth commercial or whatever.

[Brett Vesely]

And then we'll just lie. I look like he's kind of having fun.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And then we'll end with a little dental work. Oh. Oh, I'm gonna lose this. Okay, there's an Asian lady. They've got a pair of pliers in her mouth, and they're pulling out a giant tooth. And it's this. I don't know.

[Byron]

This is Tonsil stove.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my Lord. No, that's too close to the front. What is this? It's in the. Oh, my God. It's the size of a baseball. It was stuck in the roof of her mouth. She has no. Oh, they're going back in for some more. Oh, they're pulling out the front teeth with these pliers.

[Byron]

It's this.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know what it is. She's not even budging. Here's another. They got bigger pliers, and they're pulling out more.

You feel some pressure?

Oh, they're just cracking her teeth out of her face. These pliers are barely getting it done. This lady's not even squinting. Well, maybe she is. I can't tell.

[Byron]

Ouch.

[Brett Vesely]

The whole thing. Her whole upper rack is coming out. It's like. Give me the rinse right now.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Where's the water? I need some water. It's breaking up in her mouth. Oh, this is.

Torture. Why?

We'll end there. Brett's top 10 videos of 2025 will be played live for all of you at Homework After Dark. We already have 10 of the. We'll probably add a couple more in, but Bailey just put together his. Yeah, we'll do the. We'll do the. I haven't watched him yet. We'll do the. Sift through and find out what we've got. It's happening at stand up live, 9:45pm Throw out our special guests out there. You already know Caliento's gonna be there. He's gonna hide in the curtains again. When those videos start like last time, Lovett's will be there. And then one incredibly special guest who's our guest of the year will be there too. Jay Farrow was supposed to be there, but he had to cancel.

Man, oh, man. All right, that was hard to watch. There you go everybody. That is your Brady report. It's 98 KUPD.

[Byron]

Hey, it's not weird.

[Brett Vesely]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Byron]

No membership fee.

[Brett Vesely]

I have heard enough of this.

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